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#see a therapist
shslpookiebear · 6 months
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im always weirded out by people who see izuru as an abuser who is driven soley by his ID. i see it as a severe misinterpretation of his character. everything about canon makes it seem like izuru is an extremely calculated individual who turns to junko as the only way to satiate his boredom and curiosity on the concepts of hope and despair
izuru is a complicit observer, occasionally getting involved but mostly on the outskirts watching alongside junko. the crux of junko and izurus relationship rest on junko attempting to fully sink izuru fully into despair, something he does not do. he walks the boundary between the two which keeps junko entertained as he may be fiscally on her side but despite that still manages to escape her grasp. he puts junko into the nwp not to cause more despair but to finally see who was right all along, despair or hope, junko or chiaki. its fueled by curiosity not a genuine desire for despair.
also izuru is like the ultimate neurologist, therapist, psychologist, ect, he knows how the brain works. hes not trying to figure out emotions hes trying to feel something because its so easy to sink into the whole “nothing matters” philosophy when youre in the middle of the apocalypse and humanity’s depravity continues to disappoint you
dont get me wrong hes still a horrible person but hes a lot more gray than people give him credit for hes less an active agent of despair and more a pawn, complicit rather than a genuine believer.
i said this once in an earlier post but junko lit the match and izuru was the match.
dont get me started how people write the servant/nagito x izuru stuff because it makes me want to rip my hair out (especially when people make it explicitly non-con like why ????)
but thats a topic for another rant
anyways i might get roasted for this but have a nice night 💋💋
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myrddin-wylt · 10 months
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How much of the emotional enmeshment with Caroline did Arthur's siblings know about? And was it ever brought up by anyone else post ww2? When emotions in this awful family were (for the most part) settled.
Honestly not much. Matt is vaguely aware of it, but doesn't really understand the implications or damage it did. he remembers when they all lived together in the decade leading up to the Revolution, Caroline basically acted like the mother of the household and clearly got increasingly resentful about it as time went on, but it doesn't really mean anything significant to him. like oh, Caroline is throwing a fit again because Arthur probably gave her some chores to do or something. he didn't really take it seriously (in fairness to him, how could he know? he figured it's no different than comforting anyone else you love). this was made worse when shit started blowing up, Caroline cemented the estrangement by using the things Arthur told her in confidence against him, which Matthew found pretty nigh on unforgivable. it definitely did not occur to him that Arthur did not exactly handle the crisis after crisis after crisis of the 17th century with as much composure as he handled the aftermath of the Revolution/Napoleonic wars.
I just, hm. it's not like Arthur frequently talked how stressed he was. it was more of the 'would bottle up until he explodes' kind of thing, and not necessarily an explosion of anger, either. just. he'd be fine one minute and sobbing the next, and once he worked that out of his system he'd throw himself back into whatever work he could focus on and Caroline would just hover over him and try to eliminate any stressors and in general just be on edge because it's not like she could tell when he was upset and hiding it vs genuinely not upset. so it was pretty erratic and unpredictable rather than a consistent, constant thing, and I think that's worth mentioning because there is a difference between casually telling your child information they don't need to know versus having an explosive panic attack out of seemingly nowhere and later refusing to acknowledge it. like whatever he says in a moment of panic is not something he's going to be willing to explain at length later.
It's just the unpredictability of it all, ya know? not knowing how badly something would affect him or when or how. being unable to get a sense of boundaries, what could she talk to him about and what topics were off limits. it's a recipe for constant anxiety until she eventually decides that, actually, she's not going to give a shit anymore, and not only is she not going to give a shit, she's going to weaponize it against him so he never pulls that shit with her again.
I guess to her credit, it was very effective. it does mean she develops a particularly nasty manipulative streak, but, uh, it gets results? which her siblings DEFINITELY notice, but it's not like they have a cause to tie it back to. they just think she's fucking mean. and of course Arthur doesn't tell them because he doesn't understand the consequences of enmeshment either. and CAROLINE doesn't bring it up unless she's weaponizing it because she isn't sure if it's even worth bringing up with Arthur and she's not near close enough with any of her siblings to tell them about it. it's sorta, you know, when you get to adulthood and it's just easier to let sleeping dogs lie. maybe she'd talk to someone about it, but she doesn't see any benefit in confronting Arthur. if anything she'd be most likely to vent about it to Erin/Ireland but that's about it.
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justdrinktea · 7 months
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in other news, it’s incredible how much my mental health has improved. I spent the last ~5 years reading MAYBE reading one book the entire year to this
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Casually laughing about childhood abuse carries it’s own concerns, but wishing you were delt alternative forms of damage is even worse! “I wish my parents beat me lol” “I wish my mom would give me the silent treatment” “I wish mine criticized me on my body all the time lol I grew up so fat!”
No you fucking don’t!!
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sasudou · 2 years
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if you’re an end€avor simp your opinion is automatically invalid idc
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skygenders · 4 months
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Knew this would fucking happen and it's funny they turned off comments.
Anyways this is what Kissinger has to say about his heritage:
“If it were not for the accident of my birth, I would be antisemitic. Any people who has been persecuted for two thousand years must be doing something wrong.”
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realads · 4 months
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andthebeanstalk · 10 months
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Uhv!frank is so angsty, i just wanna tell him to take an edible and jack off
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overlymetaromantic · 1 year
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*slaps Loid like I’m a salesperson showing off a new car*: you can pack so much anxiety into this one man
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brumleys-bones · 2 years
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My therapist told me to post this lol
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nerdpoe · 6 months
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Danny got caught by the GIW, tortured, and managed to escape.
Unfortunately, he didn't escape without damage.
And he can't tell his parents or they'll get suspicious.
But the damage is....obvious. He always hurts, now. He can't feel his right pinky or move it. Walking for long stretches of time is impossible, and his legs physically won't hold him up if he tries. But he can't use a wheelchair, or his parents will find out. So he resorts to floating and pretending to walk. He can't bend over as much; his core muscles are too damaged to allow it. So he phases through himself to pretend he is, or lies and leaves before someone asks him to.
He definitely can't fight.
The other ghosts know this, and ease off so that he can recover. It's a respect thing; going after another ghost when they're weak and incapable of fighting is shameful.
So he and Jazz do some research, and make a list of the medical equipment he needs to start recovering. Jazz tries to teach herself how to be a physical therapist on top of everything else in her life; college, her job so she doesn't rely on their parents, etc.
But that medical equipment is so frickin expensive.
So Danny plans for being out of commission for a week or so, visits Jazz in Gotham indefinitely, and decides to rob one of the largest suppliers of medical equipment.
Drake Industries.
His first few heists go off pretty well, but then on the final one, he finds himself face to face with Red Robin.
A noise from behind him alerts him to Nightwing.
And, again; Danny cannot fight.
He's already shaky, using his powers so much. The pain that's always there has flared to levels he can't ignore, and he knows he needs to leave immediately.
He also can't afford to be chased.
"Please. I just want to get better, and it's too expensive otherwise."
@simplestoryteller
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all the rise boys get done dirty on characterization by fandom in different ways i think. (not ALL the time every fanwork etc etc these are just like, trends i tend to notice?) every fandom suffers from losing character nuance.
- leo i’ve talked about plenty on this blog, how some of his canon traits (genuine belief in his skill and cockiness, capacity for joy, his manipulativeness whether for good or ill) seem to get watered down or wiped off the board and supplemented with generic sad boy. his struggles with purpose and identity and not wanting to fail somehow morph into “he hates and completely holds no value for himself”
- donnie’s canon personality gets blurred out and largely replaced with whatever list of Neurodivergent Traits. and i think there’s such a fine line to walk between exploring a character that’s been word of god confirmed as on the spectrum and overwriting what’s canonically there. it’s a hard needle to thread. it also feels like a lot of his canon emotiveness gets left off the table for some reason. bc he does have his moments of flat/deadpan delivery, but a lot of the time he’s honestly very emotive. he has the passion of a theatre kid and the vindictiveness of... also a theatre kid. and the mind of a scientist.
- raph loses so much of his rowdy teen boy energy it’s kind of wild? like interpretations sand off that he’s also impulsive and can be reckless and dumb and LOVES fighting and roughhousing and isn’t the most eloquent person. suddenly there’s this pitch perfect soft boy big bro who would never hurt a fly and always says the exact right supportive thing and singlehandedly raised his 3 brothers (which simultaneously sands off all the nuance of splinter’s issues emotionally connecting with his sons and how that affected all of them). and like i LOVE raph, he’s so full of love and care and anxiety, he clearly has learned to put a lot of work into being aware of his strength and size. but there’s a difference you know?
- mikey is like. where raph gets overparentified by fanon, mikey gets over “family therapist”-ed IMO. the impulsiveness, the goofiness, the powerful emotions including a VERY powerful temper, the flat-out dumb teen boy choices... they get ignored. suddenly there’s this only very sweet and earnest boy who has read a hundred psychology books and runs group family therapy weekly or something. he is crying in his room bc leo and raph are arguing about something. which is so. he IS very sweet and can be very earnest and is full of love! he HAS come in with his opinions and unsolicited advice a couple of times and life coached for the greater good. but there’s a difference between what he does in canon and the role he gets in fanon.
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babycharmander · 4 months
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Weird folks: Vent art of any form is good and all but it should ONLY be between you and your therapist. Don’t share that stuff online or publish it!!!
Me, an artist/writer: *goes to therapy, talks about my trauma and mental health and how sometimes it’s hard to talk about it with others*
Therapist: Have you thought about using your art and writing to help you work through these things and share them with others?
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saprozoicworm · 8 months
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How would you draw Nichole as an artsy kinda gal who does painting, crocheting, wears clothes she thrifts, big earrings? Super sweet and is the therapist friend?
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nichole is my favorite (canon) dnd fantasy fan and favorite (headcanon) cartoon enjoyer
she canonically paints miniatures and i like the think she makes a lot of bracelets and necklaces using beads or rainbow loom or something,, also could see her getting into creative writing
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pienipple · 1 year
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it's okay if you can't always have sex or masturbate when you want. it's okay if arousal is exhausting. it's okay to find easier positions and take breaks. it's okay to need to stretch before and use ice packs after. it's important to respect the limits of your body, even if they change from day to day.
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