Tumgik
#seeing the genderfluid label had me excited
shad-fanatic · 3 days
Text
hey,
so I thought I'd clear up some stuff because it's been all over the place for months and I think I finally got a grip on it. I guess this is my official "coming out" lol
my name is Raya (Ray-a), I'm trans mtf and I use she/her pronouns 🏳️‍⚧️
a couple of you might remember when I was going by genderfluid, while it felt right at the time to just pick whichever gender I felt most like at the time and forget about it, there was definitely something missing. at one point I made a set of profile pictures, a boy and a girl, I thought I would be able to use them interchangeably, seeing as I didn't really feel like I was set on one at the time. but I hated the boy one, there wasn't really a specific reason I thought, it's not a bad drawing, I just didn't like labeling that as me. so I just kept using only the girl one, I talked to some friends about this (which I recommend, socializing and hearing them use pronouns out loud is incredibly helpful if you're unsure) and on the 1st of March I came to the conclusion that I just prefer being a girl, it felt right.
but I didn't rebrand right away, of course I still had some doubts, I would use he/him and other boy terms out of habit when using my old name (Logan) and I still had genderfluid in the back of my mind, I heard that it's normal for a preferred gender to last up to a month, so I waited, in case it suddenly shifted back to male, but it never did, and I'm officially going by trans, and actually knowing what gender I am has put me in such a better mindset for everything, I'm more forgiving to myself with my art, I'm motivated to draw for longer, and I actually want to experiment with stuff.
I'm still really new to all of this, and LGBTQ stuff isn't exactly normalized in my part of New Zealand yet, but I'm super excited to see what happens in the future, the weird cloud has parted to reveal hopes of a bright future :)
I hope at least one person reading this will see me as a girl.
7 notes · View notes
my-castles-crumbling · 3 months
Note
dancer anon here
reason for wanting to stay connected to being a girl: i feel good when i present feminine sometimes, I don't know why, while i dont feel like a girl or connected to that at all, i enjoy feeling pretty, and that kinda fuels the "cant not be partially a girl" because i like my feminine attributes (such as my breasts and eyelashes (i really like my eyelashes, they make me feel pretty)) but i tend to like my feminine attributes more when im alone and only /i/ can see myself and think "damn. im pretty today."
ballroom q: i tend to do more follower than leader now but i get to dance with my favorite dance teacher someitmes and shes really nice :D my favorite dance is paso doble (i do more latin ballroom than standard lol, but i do enjoy waltz the most out of standard dances lol (its the first dance i did with leader steps :DD)
correct pronouns: ik that its not really making a big deal to ask, but since im not out to many poeple outside of my friend group. i also dont want to correct my friends because im afraid it will reach someone outside of the group and theyre going to question it because in my school the majority of the students aren't really,,,, allies ig
neopronouns: have considered, didnt fit, so they/them is my go to because it is the one i feel the most comfortable with
confronting my friend: i do sometimes feel like confronting them about it, but its kinda scary because i hate confrontation because of the toxic friend i mentioned, so i dont think im gonna do anything about it (for now maybe?)
trauma: i am 97% sure i dont have any trauma relating to masculine people? however, my memory /is/ actually trash, so i could have just forgotten. the most likely thing that caused the fear would probably be the dance teacher with cold hands, because i hated his classes because they made me feel like dance is an obligation and i have to do everything /correctly/ even though i signed up because i enjoy dance. i also had to dance with him and his hands were cold and i dont like physical touch if im not initiating it (which is kinda why i dont dance with anyone anymore - a combination of physical touch, sweaty hands, and the close proximity. im even scared to dance with the little children i sometimes help dance with, because i dont know if they feel comfortable with physical touch which makes me feel icky)
also its not really something happened to me, its fear of something that /could/ happen (SA, etc)
also i still see that dance teacher around at the studio sometimes. he still scares me, but less? and when i talk to him sometimes, my brain tries to tell me im overexaggerating how much i dislike him, which i may be doing, but he /did/ ruin one of my favorite dances for me, so...
agender label: i do feel comfortable with the agender label, i believe, but ive never really met anyone else using it so i think i ust want to know ppl who also use it
you are also a wonderful human!!!
on another note, i am genuinely in tears thank you, you are so kind <3
Hello again!
So, there's four things I wanna address here:
With the pronouns/friends: Yes, it sounds like it might be a good idea to think more about the pros/cons of this. I still completely think that you deserve the respect of being gendered correctly, but if it's not safe for you to be pushing this,(secrets being shared, an unsupportive space, etc) then it might be a good idea to step back until it is safe to bring it up again. Remember though that you deserve to be supported and loved unconditionally and using your correct pronouns is something that should not be a burden to anyone.
Being agender: Have you considered finding people on here who identify similarly? It could be cool and validating to find a community of people who feel the same way. I know for me it was super exciting to find other nonbinary/genderfluid people.
Being touched: Okay, that makes sense. I definitely get not liking to be touched by people, especially people who give weird sensory input.
Ballroom: Oh, damn Paso Doble? I only know the very basics but it's SO different and cool! Respect <3
Lots of love!
8 notes · View notes
arecaceae175 · 10 months
Note
For your pride month drabbles, grey-ace would be cool 👀
IT IS HERE! AO3 link. 790 words, fun and fluff.
Wild: sexuality incoming! Genderfluid, they/them in this chapter Warriors: bisexual, trans man, he/him Twilight: bisexual, demiboy, he/they Hyrule: aro/ace, agender, no pronouns Sky: pansexual, polyamorous, bigender, he/she
It was a common occurrence to hear the members of the chain who weren’t on the asexual spectrum appreciate the beauty of others.
Usually, it went something like this.
“Now that is a man, right there,” Twilight said, lightly elbowing Warriors to get his attention. Warriors let out a low breath as he locked eyes on the man. 
“Wow,” Warriors said. “What I wouldn’t give to take him out for the night.”
“You mean a date or an assassination?” Hyrule asked, face deadpan. 
Warriors chuckled and shoved Hyrule lightly, making Hyrule’s shoulder knock into Wild. 
Twilight had one elbow on the table and his cheek resting on their fist as they stared in awe. “I’d let him assassinate me any day,” Twilight said. 
Wild rolled their eyes and leaned over to whisper to Hyrule. “I don’t get it,” they said. 
Hyrule’s head shook side to side in agreement. “Me neither, buddy. Me neither.”
Wild almost never got it. They were very comfortable in their asexual identity. Sure, they thought plenty of people were pretty, and they felt romantic attraction plenty, but nothing like Twilight, Warriors, and Sky did. 
Wild would admit, however, that their experience was pretty limited. At the beginning of their journey,  their sexual identity was the last thing on their mind. They had to relearn how to be a person, save the world, then come to terms with the traumas from their adventure. It was only recently with the influence of the other heroes that Wild began exploring their sexuality.
~ ~ ~ ▲ ~ ~ ~
Wild, Hyrule, and Sky were walking through the crowded time square on a mission to find potion and food supplies. Hyrule’s hand was anxiously clutched in Sky’s sailcloth, but Hyrule was still looking around the square with wide eyes, trying to take everything in. Wild was letting their eyes roam to see everything each stall had to offer. 
“We’ve only got a few things left,” Sky said. She held the list in front of her as he glanced at the stalls. “I think the fruit stall, next.”
“Which one is that?” Hyrule asked.
“Oh,” Sky said. “The one with one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen standing in front of it.”
Hyrule’s eyes rolled fondly. “That doesn’t narrow it down at all.”
Wild followed Sky’s gaze and immediately knew who he was talking about. The person had beautiful, dark skin and hair tied up in thick braids on top of their head. Silk threads of every color Wild could imagine were woven into the braids. They were wearing a long skirt and had a deep purple, flowy shirt tucked into it. The shirt had a slit in the side, revealing hints of their skin whenever they moved. 
Wild gulped. They felt a heat rush through their body and their cheeks turned a deep red. Their heart felt like it skipped a beat when the person turned and Wild got a glimpse of their face. Wild couldn’t tear their eyes away.
“Woah,” Wild whispered. “They’re beautiful .”
“I’ll say,” Sky agreed. 
Wild watched captively as the person moved away from the stand and rejoined the crowd. Wild felt a distinct tinge of disappointment as they were lost in the sea of people.
“Wild?” Hyrule asked. 
Hyrule’s hand waved in front of Wild’s face. Wild blinked rapidly as their gaze was broken and they refocused their eyes on Hyrule. 
“You look weird. What’s happening?” Hyrule asked. 
“I think… I just experienced a sexual attraction,” Wild said. 
Hyrule’s jaw dropped. Sky’s face lit up in excitement. 
“Really?” Sky asked. Wild could only nod, dumbstruck. 
“Oh, Wild, that’s so exciting!” Sky exclaimed. Hyrule nodded along with Sky. 
“Yeah, I just…” Wild muttered. Their gaze went back to the crowd. “Yeah.”
“Are you going to revisit your ace label,” Hyrule said. “Only if you want to, of course.”
Wild nodded slowly, and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. “I mean, I’m definitely not allosexual. I’m ace, just… slightly to the left. Sometimes. Apparently.”
Sky clapped them on the shoulder. “Whatever you decide, we’ll be happy for you!”
Wild nodded their thanks then shook the thoughts out of their head to refocus on their supply list. “I’ll think more about it later. We still need supplies for dinner tonight.”
“You sure?” Hyrule asked, head tilted to the side in concern. “We aren’t in a rush.”
“I want to take full advantage of the inn’s kitchen,” Wild said. 
Sky’s eyes widened and they grabbed Hyrule’s arm to pull gently. “The sooner we’re done the sooner we eat,” she said. Hyrule laughed and let Sky pull their pair to the fruit stand.
Wild sent one last glance into the crowd. Their stomach fluttered lightly, and Wild smiled. They continued to learn new things about themself every day, it seemed.
19 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
WIP Wednesday - The End of an Age!
Good morning and thank you for the early (or late night) tags: @cutestkilla @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @confused-bi-queer @facewithoutheart @artsyunderstudy @johnwgrey @wellbelesbian and @urban-sith.
I think that this will be the last WIP that I post of this piece. Soon I'll just be adding background shadows and maybe a carpet (to tie the room together). It'll be time consuming, but not too exciting for progression.
So enjoy this last sneak peak and I'll see you on the posting day for Carry On Through the Ages. Research and tags are below the cut.
Tumblr media
I've labelled this as Victorian, but that's a long time period with a lot of changing fashions. If you're curious, I'm trying to stay within the decade of the 1860's.
Finding hair options for Simon was entertaining. The one I picked is forty years out of fashion and French (!) but Sacre Bleu, how could I resist?
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Most men had some kind of facial hair in the 1860's. I didn't want to give Simon a moustache (like the Mage) so he's getting a set of wispy chops. The clean-shaven look for men came back in vogue in the 1880-1890's.
Baz avoids this by being part of the Aesthetic Movement. He's challenging the mainstream Victorian belief that beards are an essential symbol of manliness. Long hair, languid manner and velvet jacket were widely recognized as male components of Aesthetic dress
Wishing you all a glorious hair day:
@angelsfalling16 @aristocratic-otter @asticou @basiltonbutliketheherb @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @captain-aralias @creepyspice @confused-bi-queer @early-sxnsets @excalisbury @fatalfangirl @fight-surrender @foolofabookwyrm-activated @frjstii @gekkoinapeartree @henreyettah @ileadacharmedlife @ic3-que3n (thanks for the solo vote for hairstyle #2) @ionlydrinkhotwater @jbrrring @krisrix @letraspal @martsonmars @nick-eyre @onepintobean @otherworldsivelivedin @palimpsessed @penpanoply @prettylightsbigcity @scone-lover @shemakesmeforget @starwarned @stardustasincocaine @stillmadaboutpetra @subparselkie @takitalks @tea-brigade @technetiumai @thehoneyedhufflepuff @whatevertheweather @you-remind-me-of-the-babe
58 notes · View notes
amajorartattack · 9 months
Photo
Tumblr media
My General ROTTMNT Donatello Headcanons:
- He’s the tallest at 6′6″, alright. Like the longer neck of a softshell turtle my guys, is what gives him the height over Raph, if he didn’t have the long neck, he’d be the second tallest. - Longer snoot, not always able to see on forward facing shots cuz of perspective. His brothers always boop it, and when they first started doing so it annoyed him to all hell and back, but he’s used to it now.      - Sometimes presses his nose against his brothers, Splinter, or April, to show his affection (Kinda like a headbutt...kinda.) - He often paints his nails, usually purple, or black. But he’s painted them other colors, usually they would be some variant of blue, orange, or red. - Alright, I saw a post...pin thing on Pinterest, and it was where Leo and Donnie had heterochromia, and shared one of the colors, and I absotively posilutely loved it. So yes, he has heterochromia, and shares the red with Leo.      - Also fucking Disaster Twins my beloveds. - Unable to control when his tail wags, but it usually happens when he’s working on something and it’s all coming together, when he’s proud of himself or others, or excited for something. - The fastest swimmer of all of them, and likes to swim, especially when he was younger. - Gamer Boi (yes I know this is technically canon, but.) He streams, and makes videos of him gaming, and there has been many Donnie rage compilations going around (totally not made by Leo) - When he was younger he rarely spoke, and when he did everyone made sure to be quiet and let him do so. - When he gets really overwhelmed, he rarely speaks, or goes completely non-verbal. - Is the second best artist, he needs to be able to draw up designs for his tech, this is one of the main ways that him and Mikey bond. This also is a way that he can communicate if goes non-verbal. - Huge horror fan, especially in game form, but still absolutely gets scared. But that’s the point of it. - Overworks himself, and stays up very late. He has insomnia, but doesn’t always do anything to help with it.       - Splinter has gotten him melatonin gummies, that are safe for Donnie to consume, and he has them in a drawer by his bed. (It’s still a little more than half full.) He only eats them if he’s unable to sleep when he’s already in bed. - He is genuinely great with kids, but claims to not like them. He has said this while a kid was doing it’s damnedest to use Donnie as a jungle-gym, and he did pretty much nothing to stop it.      - Like; April: Donnie, you should come help me with work at *insert random restaurant that is catered to kids*, it’ll be fun.        Donnie (letting a kid mess with his claws): Now why would I do that? I don’t like kids.        April: You’re-but. EH?! - He is the older twin, and has used it to his advantages against Leo. He’s like two minutes older. - For as much as he likes pizza, his favorite food is actually ramen, especially seafood ramen. He knows all of the ramen places in New York, and has them labeled from best to worst. (He cries a little inside whenever he sees that the top most best place is closed.) - Knows all new slang, but chooses to not say it, or claims to say it ironically. Also has more than likely created a new slang word without knowing. - Woops ass in Mario Kart, and always plays as Bowser. Claims he’s the best character to play as because of his high speed stats, even if he has a lower acceleration stat. - Honestly to me, this guy is Demisexual/romantic, he’s gotta be able to trust and feel trust before making any claims about a relationship. - Genderfluid, most often he feels like he’s a guy, and uses he/him pronouns. - Also wears contacts, and if he doesn't have any (even though he typically always keeps a good stock of them,) he wears glasses. - Connecting the 7th and 11th lil hc thing, Donnie does not stream or record videos of himself playing horror games, because he knows that his brothers will see them, and he doesn’t want his videos to be the source of any of their nightmares.
(Imma more than likely just add onto this when I think of more shit to add. This is mainly because I posted this at 4 am, and I was really tired, and so now that I’m more awake I’m thinking of other things to add.)
11 notes · View notes
wowzerwyrm · 9 months
Text
As a cis guy, I’ve been considering going on estrogen and HRT.
Cis, in this case, being that I was born male, identified as a boy in my youth, still do identify as a man and use He/Him pronouns, and have no desire to stop if/when I do start on HRT. I probably wouldn’t still label myself as cis at that point, but until then I am just a guy.
I’ve been generally genderqueer and non-conforming, at least as far as I could be in the church I was raised in. Pink ties and long hair and occasional painted nails was closer to blasphemy than not half the time, but I was lucky enough to have a mother and sisters that had fun playing dress up with me so long as I didn’t actually wear a skirt to church.
Now I’m out of that church and in a world and a city where trans and genderqueer people are common, where my colorful socks are standard, where I don’t have to be limited to shoulder-length hair or even skirts. I can genuinely do whatever I want now.
And I’m thinking about HRT.
I’m not a girl, or at least not exclusively. Maybe genderfluid, maybe something else. I don’t feel dysphoria about presenting as a guy, and I’ve always enjoyed being seen as having positive male qualities. But I also think I would enjoy being seen as a girl, more often that I am now.
And under it all, it I had to give myself a specific label or gender based on how I feel inside, (at least compared to how I hear other people talk about it) I’d probably go with agender, or genderless.
I think, if gender is a construct and a performance, then it’s one I enjoy being an actor in, but for others more than myself. At home, I don’t feel any urge to wear anything particularly defining, and I don’t really want to transition in any way just for my own sake. Almost entirely, it would be so I could go out in public presented one way or another, meet people, make friends, flirt, play the part I’ve chosen for the day.
I’m thinking about HRT, so I can more easily do both. I want to be closer to androgynous, not so I can avoid the gender binary but so I can more easily play either part.
And, most importantly, so I can be a little weird about it.
I want to push some of the norms and expectations of those around me, have interesting conversations. I want to follow the rules of being either a guy or a girl so I can more easily break them in interesting ways.
Sometimes, I’d like to just be a girl in the eyes of others, body shaved, makeup on, outfit casual and normal, chill, friendly. Sometimes I’d like to be a little more sexy, loud, silly.
Sometimes I’d like to be a guy, tall and confident and cool and kind, or maybe with ripped jeans and funky clothes and hair styled all over.
I want to go outside as someone else, see how people react to it, and play into it, play around with it. I don’t know what my coworkers will think if I grow boobs but never tell them to call me different pronouns, and it makes me nervous, but also interests me.
I’m just worried, mostly, that I won’t be able to keep up with the image in my head. It’ll be a lot of work, and I’m not sure if some of the side effects will be worth what I’m trying to achieve, especially when I have other priorities, art and writing as well. As well as if I choose to bind fairly often, that won’t be good for my ribs long term.
I’ve got an appointment tomorrow to go in and talk about it and possibly get started on hormones, if I choose to. I’m excited, and nervous, and not sure what I’m going to do.
5 notes · View notes
cock-holliday · 10 months
Note
1, 10, 15, 18, 34 (and 21 but only do that if ur ok with it bc i know stuff like that can get Too Real too fast sometimes)
Which labels do you use?
Hmm bi, queer, trans, nonbinary, butch. It started ironically but I've become very attached to girlboy and similar mashups. Under the NB umbrella I vibe with genderqueer, genderfluid.
10. Something that gives you gender euphoria (whether you’re cis or trans)
Oooh man, a bunch of things do. Getting to dress and present how I want. Any time I get to drastically change something about my appearance. Strangers being unsure of my gender--which used to be very dysphoric for me. People shaking up what pronouns they use. It started as a joke but I really came to like the internet's use of mishmashed words like "girlboy" or the sudden male implication of "babygirl"--language that really messes with gender and gender roles. And oh what a lovely source of euphoria it is to connect with people about gender. Friends, people in queer scenes, through books, my lovely girlfriend. I am very fortunate to have a lot of spaces where I can Be and where I am Seen.
15. How has your identity changed over time?
I first realized I was bi at 16. Realized I wasn't cis at 19. And realized I was nonbinary at 25. My sexual identity has been pretty consistent, which has been "whatever." Gender has been a bit more complicated. At different times of my life my expression could fit under a "transmasc" and "transfemme" umbrella. I'm not sure either term fits me per se, or maybe both? I feel like the implication of "genderfluid" covers this oscillation. I've gotten more comfortable with ambiguity and not knowing exact language for it, something I wouldn't have imagined for myself almost a decade ago.
18. How old were you when you got to attend your first Pride? Who did you go with?
My first Pride was in 2016. I had wanted to go for several years before it, but I always went back to my hometown for summers in college and couldn't get people to travel with. I went with my two best friends from high school, who had been 2 of 3 out queer people in our high school. I was not the third.
34. What are you needing most right now (what would make your life easier or more fulfilling in regards to existing as queer)?
For people (myself included) to stop being a dick about conflicting or confusing labels
For more people in the trans scene in the US to develop a more militant style of resistance right now. We need more "queers bash back" sort of energy. And if that's not someone's style right now, at minimum not intra-community pushback to it. Really tired of watching trans people take a more aggressive stance against genocide only to get policed by other queer and trans folks.
21. What message would you give to your younger self?
Oh man. So much at so many points. I guess in the most general sense....that you'll figure it out. It's okay to change your mind and try things out and not get soooo stressed out about the exact words to use. Labels are not finite resources you are stealing if it turns out not to fit. That at 18 you'll finally get to finally have lifechanging autonomy and that it's okay that that's actually terrifying too.
The worst period of my life was when I was finally on my own but didn't know where to go from there and didn't think I'd ever see what I wanted. But oh, once I made it through that period and got to take control, it got soooooo much better. And it keeps getting better. So much will change in your life in ten years, and ten years of getting to make choices for yourself and live your own life? That's a lot of change and exploration and I've not reached the end of figuring things out. And for the first time the not knowing is actually exciting and not so daunting.
3 notes · View notes
bazzybelle · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
Thank you @urban-sith, @ileadacharmedlife, @cutestkilla, @amywaterwings, @facewithoutheart, @johnwgrey, @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, and @martsonmars for the tags!
So, COTTA (@carryonthroughtheages) sign ups closed on Friday, thank you to everyone who signed up. I am really flipping excited to see what brilliance you all come up with!
A few days ago, I made a joke about how writing a random POV can solve PLOT issues. Well, I'm going to share a snippet of said POV. I think it's fairly obvious who this is (I may have even mentioned it).
I’m not a hero. 
I’ve lived my eighteen years of life perfectly content to sit on the sidelines and let everyone else have their fun. 
Before this year, the thought of willingly throwing myself into harm’s way all in the name of glory would have had me feeling sick to my stomach. 
It didn’t help that every creature that came to attack my school felt it necessary to get me involved. Either by sticking me in a well, using me as bait, or that one time those fire moths nearly burnt all of my hair out. 
I never asked for any of it. 
I was never a hero… never even a sidekick. Fate decided long ago to label as a damsel in distress, and I think a part of me was ready to accept it and just get through my education before taking a gap year to travel. 
That was before I felt (for the first time) my magic coming to life, from deep inside my belly.
Tagging @carryonsimoncarryonbaz, @f-ing-ruthless-baz, @fight-surrender, @ninemagicks, @wellbelesbian, @aristocratic-otter, @ivelovedhimthroughworse, @excalisbury, @angelsfalling16, @palimpsessed, and @phoxphyre
30 notes · View notes
treesap-blogs · 1 year
Text
GUYS IM SORRY THIS REVIEW IS GOING UP LATE you’ll eventually see why lmao! “Cemetery Boys” by Aiden Thomas review!
Hello, Tumblrians! Because I’m trying to make sure practically all of my Goodreads finished books are covered here, there’s an overwhelmingly high number of reviews that are going to be published this week! Sorry :(! BUT!!! At least my reading queue is being cleared up for the end of the month (which you can attribute to me just wanting to be orderly but is actually related to the release of The Wicked Bargain by Gabe Cole Novoa)(who was?? In the acknowledgements for this book actually?? Are the authors friends or something?). Broskis I was so excited for Cemetery Boys because I’ve been wanting to read it for YEARS!!! It was one of the first queer books I ever heard about, actually! And it will always have a special place in my heart because it’s the first time I’ve read a book with a trans protagonist. (I’m non-binary and also genderfluid, because a few times the trans male label could apply, and I’ve identified as some flavor of lesbian for a while although I’ve just been using the label “queer” for a while. Fits my gender better.) 
Also HOLY SHIT i just realized!! This is my tenth Tumblr Review guys :D!! Wow! Very happy to be writing one about a book I adored! To celebrate this milestone, take some art I made of these two! It’s singlehandedly the reason why this review took so long to put up lmao, it’s almost midnight where I am but it’s probably not Saturday anymore for a lot of people on Tumblr up at this hour and with similar time zones as I. Gonna be honest, I was considering redrawing when Julian asked Yadriel if he could kiss him (in Spanish!!!)(read the book and you’d know why that’s a big deal lmao), but I watched an Instagram reel and featured in it was a very realistic piece of fanart of when the two were kinda just lovingly spending time sitting ontop the car and looking at the sunset by the side of the road! Inspiration just struck.
Tumblr media
I’m hoping to post art on a more consistent basis in here, hopefully y’all enjoy the piece in this review! (Perhaps I’ll do this with every 10 book milestone?) (if I don’t like the book and don’t want to make fanart maybe I’ll just draw a different one or my OCs lol)
Anyhow! I absolutely ate up, devoured even, cried on, and threw up this book when I read it. Whilst some might not be a fan of the short time frame the romance happens in (it..took some adjusting for me to be honest), I was still absolutely emotional over Yadriel and Julian oh my goodness. They’re so sweet with each other!! WAUGH. I was anxious for a devastating ending most of the time, but wherever my heart was broken, it was healed with some of Yadriel’s brujx magic by the time I’d finished reading. (So corny I know but SHUSH.) The “last day” chapter/scene in the book also just radiated comfort haha. (Perhaps I’m biased though, as I tend to feel in colors and around this point I had enough of an emotional attachment to form the “nostalgic nighttime blues with a light yellow and orange-yellow haze feeling. Which I shall always associate with the smell of a well-kept hotel room now, thanks to the location I finished this book.) Julian opening up eventually, and his immediate acceptance of Yadriel was also very sweet. They were overall very sweet, even if the circumstances they were in meant that they made very “hormonal teen” decisions at times. It didn’t feel like a product of bad writing lmao I’m sure that was intentional.
Tumblr media
Yadriel was also a spectacular example of authentic transmasculine representation. I was delighted to read a sentence that mentioned a binder, resonated with his experiences of gender dysphoria, and although he faces a lot of struggle to be seen as who he is within his family, that was handled with care. I also loved the different Latine cultures present in the families in the book, there were different touches added to Dia De Muertos and it brought a very home-y feel to some of the atmosphere of the book. (Saying “some of” because the other parts of the story are horror of course sjkskjbdfbk) On all fronts, the representation was great :).
Also, if the story seems interesting to you based on the premise, but you don’t really enjoy horror, keep in mind that the stuff in this is pretty tame! There’s a few gnarly details, like (slight spoilers) an attempted human sacrifice towards the end, and of course some of the spirits turning “maligno”(conjugent for “malignant”, they become corrupted before they’re forced to leave the surface world, your standard horror elements stuff ensues), but that’s about it. While spirits/ghosts and the existence of what’s technically witches in this realm means that it belongs under the horror category, at least I as a reader thought it fit more just under the paranormal genre. The only other horror book I’ve read on here is The Witchery, and I’d say it’s a teensy bit more spooky than that on the scale? All I have to say for that.
Anyhow! Last thing I feel like talking about is that I liked how the theme of death was handled throughout the book? In several ways, our characters were trying to find closure and there’s multiple very realistic depictions of grief. I’m kinda running out of rambling juice here, so I don’t have much else to add, but it was interesting to see the different facets of loss(I would elaborate on all of them, but I don’t feel like typing up a Spoiler Segment here and it would probably contain mild to moderate spoilers if I did that without warning). It made this a melancholy read, in my opinion.
Overall! ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐/5 stars, no doubt :D! (the third book on here to be given a 5-star rating, there to join When The Angels Left The Old Country by Sacha Lamb and The Lesbiana’s Guide To Catholic School by Sonora Reyes!)
Paz, signing off!
(Book trigger/content warnings: Misgendering/deadnaming, mentions of transphobia, mentions of deportation, some instances of experienced racism, grief(loss of a parent), blood and body horror.)
4 notes · View notes
slasher-male-wife · 2 years
Text
This is just a trans rant because I don’t have anywhere else to go and a lot of cool trans people are on here. 
Obviously talking about transphobia in this and strong language is used, brief mentions of an ed and toxic relationships
I hate having to tone down my gender identity for cis people. If I explain to them that I’m like more of a genderfluid man who uses he/they/it pronouns they get confused and ask a ton of questions or just judge me for using it/its pronouns. My mutual @the-slasher-madame described gender the best by saying its a sea creature at the bottom of the ocean made of mystery meat that jiggles when you poke it. That’s kind of like gender for me. I know I am 100% not a woman but I prefer more general labels like genderfluid guy because that’s what I am. 
Don’t get me started on how annoyed people get about me not sticking to the gender binary. Other trans people often are like “You’re the reason people are transphobic” like mf you have a single wrinkle in your brain if you think transphobes didn’t exist before it/its and neopronouns. Like why do you care if I use masculine and gender nuteral terms even though I’m afab. I’m literally a 5′4 17 year old who can’t do a push up and is scared of thunder storms and the leper from it, calm your fucking tits I’m not going to murder your family or make you transition. 
Don’t get me fucking started on people constantly sexualizing me for being trans. I think it’s the combination of me being trans, chubby and sometimes being fem that makes people think it’s ok to call me sexual terms even though I clearly state I am a fucking minor. Even if I was an adult it’s not fucking ok to call a stranger a slur I don’t want to say becaus typing it let alone saying it makes me feel gross. I had an interaction with an ex of mine who complained when I told him to stop misgendering me because he “finds it really hot” and “thought I was into it”. Also speaking of exes I have had many exes try to explain to me, a trans person, how gender dysphoria works and how I don’t have it because sometimes I wear a skirt and do makeup and don’t bind 24/7. A lot of my exes have been from the UK which makes me want to hate the region as a whole but Brahms Heelshire and Christian Bales exists (along with other actors I’m forgetting) are from the UK so for now they get a pass. 
People act like because I’m a minor I don’t know I’m actually trans but the moment I become and adult I’m “grooming” kids by talking about being trans. Hrt and other gender affirmations have saved my life. For the first 14 years of my life I thought I was a girl was hell for me. It only got worse as puberty went on. If I could have gone on hormone blockers before I started puberty I would have 100%. I remember being excited for puberty because I always felt like something about me was off so I thought thats what would fix it. 
Also I don’t have to and am not going to debate my basic human rights and happiness with you. I deserve respect as a trans person and I deserve healthcare. On a side note America should step up like most other wealthy nations in the world and make heathcare free. Also I hate the fact the only trans men I really ever see are skinny, masculine and maybe cis passing trans men. Along with gender dysphoria I have body dysmorphia which makes me feel even worse about my body. It crushes me to think about how I’ll never look like other trans men or even cis men because of how big my rib cage is and how my shoulders are never going to be right. How I can’t get rid of stretch marks and I most likely will have to pay out of pocket for facial masculineization surgery. I struggle to lose weight for many reasons which has led to eating disorders and so much fucking guilt. 
I remember being told by an ex that I’ll always be an ugly fat t slur and I often think back to those words. I’ve never felt healthy true romantic love and I feel like I never fucking will because I’ll always be an ugly, fat t slur. Even in friend groups I’m the odd one out, even among other trans people. I have to constantly explain I can’t do this or that because of my bone structure and weight and how I can never feel comfortable wearing anything and most of the time all the “help” or “tips” I get is equivilent to me asking for maple syrup and everyone telling me to go lick a maple tree. 
This kind of explains why my comfort characters are slashers along with Carrie White and Ben Handscome. I can relate to what they deal with and while none of them are trans men (canonnicaly) I can still find comfort in knowing that someone else understands what it’s like. I know this is kind of over sharing and literally no one cares but I just have to vent these feelings somewhere and this is my blog where I can do what I want. 
10 notes · View notes
moth--blood · 2 years
Text
i give you: hcs with my favorite horror characters
part 1 probably
featuring: the sawyer brothers, og/rz michael myers, tiffany ray valentine, vincent sinclair, billy lenz, brahms heelshire, randy meeks
the Sawyers (Nubbins, Choptop, Bubba, Drayton)
nubbins is ratgender, and uses rat/he pronouns! rat doesnt really know what xenogender or ratgender is honestly. he just knows that being called rat makes him feel good about ratself so the others have no problem going with it
choptop is trans, and uses he/him!
nubbin's blue shirt was originally drayton's, and he's had it entirely too long. regardless how many times it gets ripped or gross nubbins refuses to get rid of it
jumping off that; chop's sweater was also from Drayton. he takes better care of it than rat does (i.e doesnt deface graveyards with it yk). it still gets ripped often but thats when we ask bubba to sew it lol
nubbin's is asexual! rat's not exactly sex-repulsed, but definitely not favorable. he doesnt see the appeal.
the twins bracelets and jewelry are all either handmade or stolen from victims/the people nubbins hitchhikes with
the name "choptop" came as a slight jab to his head injury, and he never really minded too much. eventually it just stuck.
nubbins doesn't identify with the trans label, but regardless "nubbins" is rat's chosen name. he got the idea once choptop came out and if rat's honest, he doesn't remember where he got nubbins from. just that it stuck and rat likes it :)
bubba's genderfluid! they dont really mind what pronouns you use for her, as long as its not it/its.
he loves sewing! they picked it up just after choptop left for vietnam, and has a bunch of little patches sewn into her apron even if it was never ripped
drayton uses he/him!
he's gay and asexual! definitely sex-repulsed.
Randy Meeks
randy's gay and trans (ftm) and uses he/they pronouns! he realized after stu and billy came out in middle school, but randy waited til their freshman year.
they're aegosexual! similar to nubbins he's not really repulsed but definitely not favorable by a long shot.
he has/had a thing for everyone in the group, excluding casey who wasnt really around that long. he has mild tourettes, and has a few verbal tics from movies; the majority of them are physical.
he has a lot of trouble controlling their volume when excited and goes nonverbal when they're stressed
Tiffany Ray Valentine
tif uses she/they!! she's probably experimented with heart or doll centered xenos, but they never stuck
pansexual!!! i love her sm
definitely had a thing for Martha Stewart or Jennifer Tilly. celebrity crush type thing yk
i mean, okay- you cant tell me she didnt have a thing for tilly. she literally was like "i HAVE to have jennifer tilly, charles. it is a need :((".
uses a kitchen knife to do her eyeliner :)
a very good baker
Michael Myers (og)
this man does not know what pronouns are dude
hes the type to go ",,,im a guy"
ESPECIALLY old myers.
i love him but its TRUE (╥ w ╥)
definitely aro-ace
he probably doesnt know what that means either tbh.
Michael Myers (rz)
he/it!
hes also asexual! :D
it's bisexual, probably has a preference to men
he has tourettes!
making/wearing his masks is a giant comfort, regardless of how old he is. mans wore those things year-round, including to school
unlike og myers, he actually know what his labels mean ಥ‿ಥ and he likes them! they're the most accurate to him and make him comfortable
Vincent Sinclair
they/he
aegosexual! pretty sex-repulsed ngl
trans!! :D ftm!
selectively mute; when they do talk, he's never loud
sweater paws. i will not elaborate.
likes having his hair down while hes working, even if its a hazard. it's a mix of the weight/blinder effect is comforting, and so his mask is hidden from victims
that being said they are a GOD at braiding.
very good at painting, too!
Billy Lenz:
he/it
sex-favorable asexual
pansexual!
is a whore for weirdly flavored candy canes
is THAT person who plays christmas music year-round.
it'll be dead quiet in the house and the girls just hear a very quiet "all i want for christmas is youu" and none of them can find the source
it thinks barb is the funniest to annoy, mainly because she actually gives him reactions
Brahms Heelshire
ace!!!
uses he/they pronouns!
a straight man sobs
he genuinely did like gretta (even though she SUCKED) and her leaving was a bitch to get over
has eaten a rat before.
17 notes · View notes
rosethefangirl · 2 years
Text
I was able to approach the topic of gender with my mom yesterday, which was a conversation I have been thinking about and terrified of for months now. ❤️
And the whole conversation started with me explaining my plans and excitement of cosplaying c!Eret (!!) And she asked me why I kept swapping pronouns.
I hadn't really planned to talk to her about how I feel about my own gender, but starting there, explaining how some people use multiple pronouns, helped me break the ice and it lead to the conversation continuing, and it was genuinely an amazing talk. To be honest, I never expected it to go that well. I had created a lot of worst case scenarios in my head, and none of that happened. She even related to me on a lot of points, and pointed out some things about myself I had thought I had pretty effectively managed to hide. (She told me that "when you wear particularly feminine things that you're not comfy in, you look beautiful, don't get me wrong...but you shrink up on yourself. You don't stand tall." ...like, frick, man. 😭)
For a tiny bit of context, (because I know I've never really talked about myself here) I'm 22 and I've been comfy in my sexuality (pan/bi) since I was 17. I also came out to my mom immediately back then, and that was never an issue! I love her more than anything, but talking about gender identity felt like a whole other ball game. I feel pretty non-binary, not sure specifically what label but I know for sure that I like multiple pronouns (she and they in particular are great, but I'm also realizing how there are masculine terms I like for myself too! I'm testing things out!), and the best way I can describe how I feel (and the way I described it to her) is that my gender feels like an addition, like it all just adds, not subtracts. I still like she/her and feminine terms, but I'm also adding more on that also feel right! I think maybe the closest is genderfluid? Maybe???
and I know that's not clear cut, not simple, I don't know the label for it. I'm absolutely still figuring it out (if anything is proof to you that there's no time limit to figure yourself out, let it be this.) But I'm just happy she seems to get it, and I don't have to be as nervous forcing myself to fit into a neat little box.
So, yeah! Tumblr felt like the best place to type this all out. I'm so relieved and bewildered that our talk went so well, I felt like I had to write about it 😅
Bonus kudos to Eret for inspiring me to have the courage to actually have that conversation. It's really hard to be brave, and it's always inspiring to see someone doing just that. ❤️🏳️‍🌈 if you ever see this, thank you for all that you do.
5 notes · View notes
hikarry · 30 days
Note
Why do you like swans so much? Where does that obsession come from?
It all kinda began when I was very small and I found the Ugly Duckling fairy tale
(If for some reason you are not familiar, it's about this family of ducks. One of the duckling is very different from the others and considered ugly by the general population which makes him miserable but he eventually grows up into a gorgeous swan and finds out he was never ugly, he just wasn't one of them all along. Very briefly, that's it)
I don't know why, but that story always stuck with me and, as the years went by and life happened, I found myself identifying with the Ugly Dyckling a lot
The truth is, I was heavily bullied throughout most of my life. From kinder garden to perhaps 10th/11th grade
It wasn't only words or being excluded by the other kids. It was actually extreme. I was beaten up, kicked, locked in places, spat on, got death threats, a kid actually tried to drown me in a pool once, I got anonymous letters asking me to kill myself in my backpack and was psychologically tormented for most of my formative years. It stopped in 11th grade cause in 12th grade I technically left regular school and started studying at night in a special adult class and working during the day.
I was conditioned to see myself as trash, ugly, worthless, pathetic, and like I would never amount to anything my whole life
My main self defense mechanism was humor and sarcasm and that's why I've always been the funny one in every friend group I've always been in (and I'm very proud of being the funny one still, mind you. My humor is pristine)
Having my first relationship and being cheated on did not help.
I label all those years as my Ugly Duckling phase
After 12th grade, even before I came to college, I started to blossom. I actually found my style, I cut and dyed my hair, I chose a new name and fully came out as a genderfluid lesbian and stopped hiding the traits people used to dislike about me (ex: getting overly excited over anything or talking too fast or being overall too "eccentric" or "weird"). Most of that thanks to Freddie Mercury and characters like Crowley. They wouldn't look at me weird if I started clapping and getting excited over something silly or if I was a bit more extravagant. After all: if you have to do it, do it with style
I've had some bumps in the road due to my mental health and more tragically failed relationships but I've been discovering myself and using my strengths and even my weaknesses to my advantages
I would consider I'm in my transitional period into a swan. A beautifully queer and eccentric swan. And I'll fully get there eventually
The Ugly Duckling tale is my tale, technically. I am not weird, I was just surrounded by the wrong people and in the wrong place
That's why I'm so attached to swans
Also, they mate for life and, welp, so do I - or, at least, I try. So far my tries haven't been reciprocated by someone and honestly I don't care
I just see a lot of myself in them. They are quite literally my spirit animal. Also, they are gorgeous! How could I not be obcessed with them?
Tumblr media
1 note · View note
Text
When i was 9, i spent my time split between two friend groups, who hated each other. neither wanted me, but i didn't want to abandon either one. i had no one else to hang out with, anyway.
when i was 11, i thought my intrusive thoughts made me a terrible person. my exposure to things i was too young for, through adult books that satisfied my need for narrative, skewed the way i saw the world.
when i was 13, i made up rules about how much emotion i was allowed to show at school (none). i curated my wardrobe to blend in. i had school friends but that was it.i stood up for my body for the first time and realised how much apathetic disgust i held for it.
when i was 15, i started to realize that the friends i was making in high school weren't talking about my back. they cared about me enough to call me out on my bullshit, to talk me through spirals, to hype me up when i felt like sludge. i made myself do exposure therapy wearing skirts and dresses outside, to convince myself no one was watching.
when i was 17, i survived a traumatic death in the family. i started counselling for the third time, desperate to work through my grief and learn how to live without my anxiety controlling me. throughout my ongoing mental health struggle, i applied and was accepted to my dream program and dream uni. I started suspecting i might be autistic. i went grad dress shopping and enjoyed myself, instead of feeling self-concious. I said goodbye to one of my best friends as she moved back to germany. i graduated.
Now i'm 19. i'm about to start my second year of uni in a program i love. i have friends who i trust implicitly and love unconditionally. i've found a gender label that fits and i'm in love with my body more often than not. I haven't seen my counselor in two months and our visits are more chats than crisis management. I'm autistic and asexual and genderfluid and biromantic and i'm creating a life that i'm excited for. i have my childhood dream summer job. i get to sing for school. it's hard work, but it's good, fulfilling work.
i want to hug every version of myself who hated her reflection, who isolated themself instead of seeking support, who felt like they were a burden. every version of myself who was convinced it would be like this forever. it wasn't forever. this isn't forever. things get better and they get worse and they get even better. i can't wait to see who i am in the future.
1 note · View note
iseathegalaxy · 3 years
Text
"have you met a female loki?" "no, she sounds terrifying"
my dudes, what. you're all female sometimes, what are you talking about? where did y'all's genderfluidity go? genderfluid doesn't mean that somewhere in the vast multiverse there's a version of you that's not your same gender but that your gender as a specific individual is fluid.
if the loki variants had been like "we're all female sometimes, right?" and loki had answered "yeah, but a loki that's female presenting the majority of time" or something along those lines that would've been way better.
i feel as if they just used loki's genderfluidity to introduce a female variant so they could pair them up and then absolutely forgot about it.
3K notes · View notes
Text
Misplaced Mail - Part 1
Aelin Galathynius x Rowan Whitethorn - Mini-Series
Aelin accidently opens a package addressed for Rowan. Not a big issue. Except that he opened a package addressed to her. Issue.
Tumblr media
Fic Masterlist | Read on Ao3 | Part 2
Warnings: Language
1131 words
*******
One of the simple joys in life, Aelin decided, was getting an alert that a package you ordered finally arrived.
She’d just sat back down at her desk, after having taken a very short lunch because ‘that article better be in my inbox by the end of the day, Ms. Galathynius’ and she had a decent amount of editing that still needed to be done.
When her phone buzzed with a new email notification, she was sure it was another spam email but was pleasantly surprised to see it was the delivery alert for one of the orders she’d made earlier that week.
If hard-pressed, she wouldn’t be able to say what exactly she’d ordered—according to Elide, Aelin had a teensy, tiny, online shopping addiction—but whatever it was would surely be a bright spot in the stressful day she was having.
Deciding to act on the small burst of energy the alert had given her, Aelin opened the article she was writing and powered through for the rest of the afternoon.
***
Stepping into the lobby of her apartment building, Aelin quickly picked up her mail—ad, ad, bill, ad, and her package!
She took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked down the hall towards her door. She wasn’t familiar with a lot of her neighbors, people mostly kept to themselves, but she did know the resident of the apartment directly across from hers.
Rowan Whitethorn. They’d had more than a few conversations. It was mostly bickering, but she could always sense that he enjoyed their banter almost as much as she did. He was also insanely attractive, and she couldn’t help but occasionally watch from her peephole when he went for runs in his very tight workout gear, or when he returned in his very tight, very sweaty, workout gear.
Aelin collapsed on her couch before pulling her box closer. Forgoing a knife, she managed to lift the tape and rip off the adhesive sealing the cardboard together. She didn’t recognize the logo on the box inside, but it wasn’t like she knew the manufacturers of all the products she orders.
With a small smile on her face, Aelin tossed the cardboard aside and opened the actual box.
Her excitement immediately morphed into confusion as she looked at what was sitting in her lap. A thousand questions raced through her mind.
“What the fuck is this?”
“Why would I order this?”
“Did I drunk-buy again?”
“Seriously, what is this?”
Aelin stared at the strange object for another long moment before her brain clicked. It was a piece of some kind of weird exercise equipment.
Her eyes flew wide as she scrambled for the cardboard box it came in. She flipped it over, eyes scanning the label, and then she cringed.
It wasn’t addressed to her.
It was addressed to a Mr. Rowan Whitethorn.
Shit. Oops.
Brows furrowing, Aelin reached for her phone and found the email confirming the delivery of her package. Right there, the confirmation.
She winced. If she had Rowan’s package, that meant that he most likely had hers.
A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and she rose from her perch on the couch to open the door.
Standing in her doorway was Rowan.
“Uh, I think I—I mean, I accidently—Uh, this is yours.” He thrust a box into her arms so quickly it was as if it burned him to hold it.
Aelin didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so flustered. His face was a bright red, he was stuttering over his words, and he wouldn’t meet her eye as she adjusted the box to get a better grip.
She just raised an eyebrow at him and slowly said, “Thank you. Yeah, there must have been a mix-up because I grabbed one of yours.”
Aelin placed the box in her hands on the counter as she walked to the couch to get Rowan’s package. When she turned back to him, she caught his eyes quickly dart away from her face. Weird. Normally he was cool and composed, but right now he looked like he wanted to bolt.
“I don’t even know what this is.” She gave him his rightful box and he mumbled a thanks before turning to leave.
She leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms, and watching perplexed as Rowan fumbled for his key to unlock his door.
“Okay, Whitethorn, what’s got you so jumpy?” Maybe she was a little too amused by his obvious discomfort at whatever she’d ordered.
He whipped around, dropping his key to the floor, and cursed before reaching to pick it back up.
“Nothing. Hm? I’m good. Its nothing.”
She snorted. “It’s obviously something. Gods, I can’t even remember what I bought,” she turned to grab the box on her counter, Rowan still trying to unlock his door, and lifted the lid to see inside.
She choked on air.
Now she remembered what she ordered.
It was three nights ago when Lysandra and Elide came over for girl’s night. They all had a little too much wine and binged watched rom-coms all night. Aelin remembered pieces of a conversation about her so-called dry spell, honestly, Lysandra, three months isn’t that long.
At some point, the three of them found a particular website that specialized in devices to aid in those dry spells. And apparently Aelin had placed an order.
Gods, she needed to get better at hiding her credit card from herself when she knew she’d be drinking. Not like it would do much good, she thought, she’d had those numbers memorized for years.
The sound of Rowan door finally opening made her look up, and it was then she had the full realization:
Rowan, her neighbor, her extremely hot neighbor that she had a not-so-secret crush on, opened her very realistically-shaped, bright pink, vibrator.
If only the universe could open a hole at her feet so she could disappear.
The only reason she could keep her voice steady was because Rowan seemed far more embarrassed than she was. Besides, she was an adult woman, why shouldn’t she own a vibrator…or four.
“Ah, thanks, I uh, wouldn’t want to lose this.” She cringed, why did she have to make this so awkward. More awkward.
Rowan didn’t say anything, but she saw his face get even redder. The tops of his ear were now a bright pink.
In a split-second decision, Aelin decided to throw caution to the wind and say, ‘Fuck it’. She drew up all her bravado and smirked at him as he turned and caught her eye.
“You know,” she winked, “maybe you could help me out sometime and I wouldn’t need this.”
Grinning at his slack-jawed, wide-eyed, stunned face, she turned on her heel and shut her door.
****
Taglist:
@acourtofsnakes @allthebooksunderthemoon @astra-ad-mare @becarefuloflove @bisexual-genderfluid-loki @booklover41802 @charlizeed @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks @danibutterr @doubt-less @emily-gsh @enormousbooklover @foughtconquered @fromthelibraryofemilyj @hakunamatatazz @i-have-but-one-brain-cell @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato @jorjy-jo @lemonade-coolattas @mariamuses @mayhemories @midsizewitch @miserablesmusings @morganofthewildfire @nehemikkele @rowaelinismyotp @rowansfirebringer @sayosdreams @sheharahu @sleeping-and-books @stardelia @story-scribbler @superspiritfestival @surielandiareendgame @swankii-art-teacher @tomtenadia @westofmoon @whimsicallyreading @ladygabrielli1997 @moodymelanist @realbookloverproblems @gracie-rosee @julemmaes @yesdreamblog
281 notes · View notes