#seeking emotional validation

[caelanglang]

The O(ccasionally)samu D(runk)azai

#drunk dazai bc hes the actual alcoholic one #also bc i wanted a very flustered chuuya #YES EVEN IF THEYRE MARRIED ALREADY BC WHY NOT #i hc drunk dazai is still pretty alert but then if he realizes its someone he someone he can trust (chuuya etc) he just goes soft boy mode #soft honest boy ehehe #also occasionally emotional and vulnerable and validation/reassurance seeking and chuuya always knows #okay i will stop rambling this was rotting my mind the past few days #playing wasia project's ur so pretty on the background when i was drawing these #behold. my therapy (real) #bsd #skk #my art #sketch #sketches #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #established skk

[bananonbinary]

as a certified Diagnosed Autist(TM) i cannot stress enough that i am not only pro- self-diagnosis, but also pretty anti- legal medical diagnosis. it is, at best, a cruel hoop we have to jump through so privileged people will deign to give us what we need. don't fucking do that shit unless you have to, it was disgustingly expensive, fucking humiliating, infantilizing, and dehumanizing, and would probably actively cause problems in my life if i didn't have some really good allistic (-passing) people in my corner and also wasn't so fucking disabled that it mostly doesn't matter.

literally get that diagnosis if you need it for job/school accessibility shit or SSI or whatever, and otherwise dont tell the government SHIT about yourself. there is zero good reason for them to want that information. that's between you and the people you want in your life.

#as a side note: this goes for gender too #dont fucking get a special marker on your passport or whatever #trying to get ssi has made me realize how deeply cruel the system is #never reveal any vulnerability you have unless it's absolutely necessary #do not do this stuff for validation the government is not your friend and you should seek emotional fulfillment elsewhere #hm this post turned out a lot angrier than i meant #guess i'm still mad about how awful the process was #it wasnt even long it was just. so *impersonal.* #this woman talked to me for two hours. went down a fairly bigoted checklist. #didnt ask me my own opinion on much of anything. and then declared a bunch of her impressions as if they hold weight just bc shes allistic #like how i have 'identity issues' (am trans and dont want a romantic partner) #and thats just. my permanent record of diagnosis! this two hour conversation with a stranger! she doesnt fucking know me #we paid like $500 for that

[xerospaced]

If anyone, esp anyone diagnosed Autistic, wants to validate a very autistic but very not diagnosed chick who has done tonnes of research over years that like... my autism is valid even tho the system of diagnosing autism in adults (esp women, especially black women) has failed her...

I wouldn't say no 🙃

#mine #autism #self dx autistic #probably autistic #autistic #self diagnosed autism #self diagnosis #i never do this and am v uncomfortable seeking validation #but i am returning to my autism lvl 2 course and am gonna be heavy in autism content over the next couple months #and facing autism like every day when you failed to get a diagnosis due to inadequate assessment #and being misdiagnosed with bpd at 21 #makes it quite an emotional experience #like im on the outside looking in screaming BUT THIS IS ME #and just having to do the work and push down my feelings of the system failing me and being invalid #so yeah #anyone?? #pls n thanks

[thermodynamic-comedian]

hey guys remember when in the literal first episode of asoue, olaf says something like

"you may think i'm an evil person, but let me tell you something.....you haven't got the faintest clue."

he was not exaggerating

#anyways do you guys think the reason the first thing olaf did to the baudelaires was give them a big list of elaborate tasks to do #was not just because he wanted them to suffer but also because he went through the exact same thing as them #(becoming an orphan after growing up in a place of privilage) #and he was forced to take care of all of those things himself and was very obviously not prepared for it and failed in life #because of that #so his fucked up mind just immediately went ''oh ok this is just something all orphans have to go through'' #oh my god. adding onto that #he also had not one but two terrible mentors that enforced the negative parts of his personality #and he clearly wasn't like the baudelaires. he was angry and emotional and not the kind of person to know when he's being abused #exactly the kind of person to actively seek out the validation and affection of his abusers. and continue that cycle of abuse on #because ''that's what happened to me. no one cared for me. the adults in my life actively made my life worse #so that's exactly what's going to happen to you. i'll make sure of it.'' #idk man at this point im just talking. throwing my brainrot into the washing machine of asoue fan content. #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #snicketverse #lemony snicket #asoue netflix #count olaf #the baudelaire orphans

[jamiesfootball]

I’m curious (if you’re willing to share) — is your post season 3 fic shippy or platonic? Looking forward to it!

Both of the main ones I'm working on now are platonic! But also you've opened the door for me to talk about it so I'm gonna talk about it!

The post-season 3 fic is platonic and--I cannot overstate this enough--has so much of a plot going on across multiple characters that I finally broke down and made a fucking spreadsheet.

That said a lot of Roy's struggle in this fic centers around his emotional attachments with other people and the roles he plays in their lives (with family, with friends, as a coach). He's stuck in this perfect storm where it seems like all his most important relationships are in flux.

See below the cut for spoilers:

His Family

This is a big one for him and where a surprising amount of therapy work gets done. When the story kicks off, Phoebe is suddenly Around Much Less and a part of that is his sister tentatively feeling out a reconciliation with their parents. This causes a surprising (to Roy) amount of emotional upheaval in his life. As someone who's always been in his sister's corner, he's always seen (even if he's never fully verbalized it to himself) his keeping contact with their parents as a way of releasing his sister from any responsibility or lingering guilt about cutting them off. But now that she's tentatively in contact with them, and introducing them to Phoebe, Roy is realizing that he has a lot of unresolved issues with his parents. Adding to that stress is the fact that while he's played a huge role in his niece's life, he's never actually had to ask to spend time with her before, and he is awful at admitting he might need something, especially when the people around him keep telling him he can 'have a break.'

Keeley

He and Keeley have decided to remain friends. Keeley wants to be single for a while and work on herself, her company, and all the special projects she has falling out of her sleeves (*cough*womensteam*cough*). However, Keeley is the most serious relationship he's ever had, and they started out on a flirty, romantic footing, so he's never just been friends with her. In fact he's never stayed friends with any of his exes. He's navigating unfamiliar territory and he's not sure what's allowed of him. Even basic shit--is he allowed to tell her she looks nice? invite her for coffee? for dinner?--he ends up second guessing.

The Diamond Dogs / The Workplace

He literally JUST became a Diamond Dog and showed them emotional vulnerability by asking what the secret was to becoming a less shitty person and now he's in charge of them. (And he's in therapy, seeing the staff therapist, so everybody knows about that too.) With Ted gone, the inter-team dynamics between the coaches is a whirlpool of Beard and Nate trying to out-smart each other, and suddenly Roy is the one keeping everybody in line and fielding Higgins' questions about player recruitment. This isn't the big drama but it is mundane and tedious and just another fucking thing to deal with.

The Team (Sam, Isaac, Colin)

The step between captain and assistant coach was a fairly easy one for Roy because he was essentially doing the same thing in both jobs (yell at them about their form, psych them up before a match, etc). He's the gaffer now. Most gaffers don't just casually hang out with their players. If he was another team's gaffer, he wouldn't. But these are people who know him, people he used to play side-by-side with, and god help him but he does care about them. So while he's pretty sure he needs to start drawing a boundary between the professional and personal, how the fuck is he supposed to tell them that when Colin is literally getting chewed up by the media as the only openly gay player in the league and he clearly needs the support? How's he supposed to back away when Sam, who's never angry about anything, is fucking seething over Edwin Akufo and asking Roy for help? Is he supposed to step back and drop it all on Isaac, who's trying his best but also seems to be carrying his own weight about something? They're not not his friends, but also he feels responsible for them. So what kind of coach is he going to be, now that he's the guy in charge?

Jamie (ofc)

Where does any of the above leave Jamie? Truly, if the boundaries between him and the other players are in flux, the ones between him and Jamie are fucking spaghetti. Because all of the same issues still apply, but with additional layers (their rivalry, Keeley, Amsterdam, Wembley, personal coaching, the fact that he's met Jamie's parents and would punch his dad in the face if he ever got a chance, the fact that his niece thinks they're best friends). His partiality is skewed every-which-fucking-way, and frankly he's a little annoyed that no one else holds it against him.

And all of that becomes additionally fucked up because:

Roy going to therapy is intrinsically tied to his behavior towards Jamie (Roy has a lot of guilt to work through on how often he's taken his anger out on Jamie)

Jamie and him have unwisely turned therapy into a goddamn competition (they have a chart), which means that any time he makes progress in therapy, he immediately ends up sharing it with Jamie

They don't even have the coach-player thing to fall back on because Jamie starts off the summer injured

This is also the Jamie Going Through It fic (with Tartt Sr in rehab being a huge part of that), and at this point its a given (to Roy at least) that if Jamie needs help, Roy is going to help him.

Jamie might be his friend. Maybe. Possibly. Roy might even admit that one day

So is this a shippy fic? No! No relationship statuses are added, lost, or changed in the winding plot of this fic (unless I figure out how to break up Beard and Jane). Everything picks up right where the finale left it.

But do relationships--the weight of identifying what you might need from other people, and how to navigate changes, and how to define things that aren't easy that are maybe complicated and messy and necessary for your own personal happiness--appear in this fic?

Absolutely yes.

#ask box is always open #[redacted title] post season three fic #i think this week's the week y'all #trying not to jinx it like i did last time #spent a long time today seeking emotional validation from the friend that does the reading and she is excited! so i've decided i am excited #definitely not scared! nope! #writing update #and if this sounds like a fuckton of stuff to cover - that is why i have the spreadsheet #and a pattern to keep all the pieces moving at a reasonable rate #or as the bestie described my writing style: #'you're conducting a 100 piece orchestra when the flutists have it out for the violinists and the drummer thinks they're at a rock concert' #which- yep!

[mossy-green-aka-ferrythem]

God some of the devastation of the Project Moon news is really starting to weigh on me at this time of night… I swear to god Lobotomy Corporation was changing my life for the better in ways I never even thought possible, and now I’m crashing, crashing hard from all this. I used to be able to socially present myself with confidence, now I struggle. I was reading more, and making more of an effort to understand literature, now I’m not. I don’t know what to do. Is the meaning of the story all for nought because of everything that has happened?

What prompts this post is that I am doing incredibly well in Lobotomy Corporation, I feel as though I have achieved the impossible, with how well I have managed things, and instead of being full of pride, I feel a sense of internal conflict. A sadness over the drive I felt in the past not being there anymore. The wind has stopped blowing into my sails, leaving me trapped in the ocean.

I swear I can’t stop spiraling from all of this, I don’t think my usual “All I can hope” would mean anything right now. God, Project Moon…

#project moon #lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #limbus company #vent post #vent #sorry for being so vent-y #I just feel like writing about my late night emotions into a public blog post #perhaps I am seeking the feeling of validation one gets when they realize they are not alone in something

[ramblinseahorsey]

Everytime I see a piece of media talk about the need of an extremely powerful love, and the love ends up being platonic, my heart grows three sizes.

#PLATONIC! LOVE! IS JUST AS LIKELY TO BE STRONG AND LONGLASTING AS ROMANTIC!! #PLATONIC SOULMATES ARE VALID #PPL WHOSE STRONGEST RELATIONSHIP IS PLATONIC THEIR WHOLE LIVES WHETHER THEYRE AROMANTIC OR NOT ARE VALID #good tropes #writing #rambles #want more earnest emotional shouts of i love you in stories thst isnt automatically assumed to be romantic #this is one of a billion reasons i love wander over yonder so much #yes i do like seeing content of them romantic too #but i cannot get over how happy i am they are platonic in the show #i seek out romantic in fandom more 4 them 2 mix it up; like many parts of most fandoms do; explorin the opposite a canon 4 curiosity #but honestly any content of seeing them hold each other makes my heart sing #cause it reminds me no matter what the relation ship they!!! love each other so much!!! to the end of time!!! #still NEED me more media with main characters who unabashedly show affection and protectivness and casual closeness and tender i love yous #esp between male and female characters of the same age #NEED 2 see more love and eternal loyalty and cuddles in stories; not just with romance or family #that way not only will saying i love you 2 someone without getting weird looks be more normalized; more affectionate love in stories in gen #i feel VERY strongly on this can u tell

[specialagentartemis]

I would argue that to my recollection Murderbot in fact does not do a single on-page murder until Network Effect.  “These people are actively trying to kill me so I have to kill them back to protect myself/my clients/my friends” doesn’t count as “murder.”  Only in NE does it join its noble predecessors GLaDOS, Hera, and Breq in Actual Revenge Murder

#one of the things that makes me emotional about Murderbot is how consistently and explicitly non-revengey it is #Revenge does not drive it. It is not out for revenge #mostly it just wants to live its life and be left alone and for the people who hurt and abused it to not be able to hurt it anymore #and once it gets free it doesn't ever seek out anyone who hurt it - individually or structurally - for revenge #It just wants to live its life. As it says to Gurathin: revenge is a stupid human way to think about it #(paraphrased) #It just... I don't know how to articulate it which is why this is in the tags and not a real meta post but. It doesn't want revenge! #It just wants to be free and safe and for the people it cares about to be safe and for the company to not be anywhere near it anymore #as distinctly opposed to Hera who tried to kill Hilbert after his betrayal at her first opportunity #It was partially preemptive defense - don't know what else he can do - but Minkowski considered him pretty neutralized as a threat #Hera wanted him dead. Hera wanted to kill him for what he did to her #(and she is VALID I love her) #Like. It is sort of implied that Hera didn't fully understand death at the time? She died and then came back broken and in pain #She wanted to do the same to Hilbert #She's noticeably less enthusiastic about killing after Maxwell and Hilbert's actual deaths #GLaDOS meanwhile was Caroline who got brain-uploaded to a computer as she begged Cave Johnson to stop #and so the moment she got control of the facility she killed everyone in the whole company who let that happen to her #this is why she's valid #Breq is the greatest and I love her #that was an existing tag. Amazing #Breq is setting off to kill the space emperor less from a stance of political responsibility or principles but more because Anaander ordered #her favorite human's death #which is funny because it's for Awn but it's also kind of framed as a pain against /her/ too #(by funny I mean sad) #Whereas when Murderbot really and finally leans into Revenge Murder. It's for ART. What people do against itself isn't really worth resent #But these people killed ART #and that's what really sparks a murder rampage #it's interesting characterization for everybody really #The Murderbot Diaries

[iamanartichoke]

Don't mind me, I'm just gonna re-post some of my old fic, bc I've recently been skimming some of it and yesterday I actually gave this particular fic the time and attention-span to re-read it carefully and, yknow what, this is some good fucking fic. If I do say so myself. Sooo ... yeah.

Edit: I wasn't ready to post this yet but it posted as soon as I inserted the link, so. Brief summary - Endgame!Thor seeks out Loki's body in order to give him a funeral, and is shocked by what he finds.

TW: suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression, alcoholism, death, internalized fatphobia, questionable jotun biology, thor crying a lot, the author is seeking validation.

#charlotte posts fic #charlotte writes #please excuse this self-indulgent validation-seeking post but #i really was reading this yesterday and thinking wow this is kinda good shame i can't post it #and then i thought - why not? why can't i post an old fic? #and thus it was done #endgame thor #thorki if you squint #brodinsons #brodinsons being emotional #loki pokey artichokey

[kindnessoverperfection]

I can't stand being open about negative emotions, but covering them up feels like a fucking knife to the chest.

I think it's because the system is autistic and misses social cues / boundaries, so Grey has overshared and accidentally put too much on people in the past.

And from a combination of autism trauma + abuse & us not actually knowing the line between healthy sharing/support and Too Much, my brain processed it as "if you admit you're having a hard time or ask for support, they won't love you"

#ed mention in tags / #some social rules actually are useful and are good to mind. #i just need to take away the emotional association with ''if you break this social rule you're unlovable and deserve abuse and you should #be deeply ashamed" #if it's a valid rule then i should follow it because it's healthy for all involved. not because i'm terrified and have a deep hatred of #myself. #it reminds me of the concept of intuitive eating. except... idk if our autistic ass actually has a natural feel for things when applied to #social situations #which ig is why i based my identity around perfectly following social standards. that's all i have if i want to be accepted. #venting/seeking support in moderation + being there for other people + focusing on others not just yourself + other stuff i cant #think of right now... these are all healthy #in the same way that sugar in moderation + vegetables + exercise are healthy #but my associations aren't with health. they're with threats. so it's hard to approach and mentally process in a healthy way and it's #hard not to take ''''healthy'''' stuff so far that it destroys my life

[cold-neon-ocean]

Omigooooooaaaashhh 😭😭😭 your last post!!! Somebody PLEEEAASE SAVE BAATAR FROM HIS OWN MIND!! I literally know the feeling of fighting with yourself and your own thoughts and it's truly exhausting, nerve wrecking and draining!! But to have them centered around people who have extraordinary powerful abilities that literally change both the physical world and spiritual world HAS to be torture!! Omigosh by beautiful baby boy needs therapy!!

NO FOR REAL IM TRULY BEGGING HIM TO SEEK A GOOD THERAPIST LIKE SIR PLEASE 😭😭

Kuvira can just see on his face when he starts Thinking Too Much and then has to divert his attention lest he be consumed by the horrors of his own thoughts kshsjs Baatar doesn't like being fussed over like he's helpless and she knows that, but she can't help but check on his heart rate often to tell if he's having an anxiety spike or not. Especially when they're in public because it happens. He'll suddenly realize he's just surrounded by people who he can't ever know the intentions of and he'll just start quietly internally panicking and Kuv can't help but pick up his heart rate through the ground and have to go rescue him from himself :')

Like when he was captured and held hostage by Korra and she threatened him with the Avatar state, sure he called her bluff but that has to be the number one fear of any non-bender because what could they possibly do in response to that? He pretty much had his fear of being subjected to the mercy of someone with bending realized- in the worst possible scenario imaginable, and all he could do was try and talk his way out of it. And yeah Korra would have never hurt him in front of his family but he was still humiliated in front of them all the same. He's a champion at masking his feelings on the surface but I can only imagine how heart attack enduring as a non-bender being threatened by the Avatar themselves would be.

He's got so many mental anguishes going on at once, his status as a non-bender, how that has damaged his relationship with his family, his identity crisis, and also how he internalizes how Kuvira has felt outcast and he just reflexively gets angry for her. The man truly needs a mental health intervention because insisting that he can handle it all on his own has not been going as well as he thinks it has ajshsj

I've reoccuringly daydreamed about the scenario where Baatar does start going to therapy and detangling all his cumulative damage and feelings like that's truly what I want for him the most, some mental peace ;;

#Ask Matsu #Baatar Jr. #LoK Thoughts #[ this doesn't even scratch the surface of all the Horrors I put him through in my AU akjdjdjd #but truly my boy please go take a nap then seek professional help LOLOL #Kuvira truly is like the rock that keeps him tethered to the earth #she has been the one to listen and validate his feelings when no one else did #and he did the same for her #in a way they really saved each other from their repsective misery #I feel so many feelings for them both Baatar especially #he's truly my emotional support fictional man and I just want him to be happy with peace of mind ;;; #I feel a lot of the same fear that he does about feeling powerless in a world that could just decide on a whim at any moment to destroy you #and you just have to walk with your head held high and hope that it chooses to have mercy #it can be such a sinking and exhausting feeling #I really wish more could have been explored with him about how non-benders feel about their place in the world and how they think #because even with his privilege he'll never be a match against even the weakest bender #and that has to be such a wretched feeling ]

[slut4poets]

I know you still see me, but you don’t understand

I don’t think you ever really did

To you I was just a pretty face with high grades

Who liked astrology and gave you validation

The attention you craved

Digging up a hole in myself just to get you gold

A true gold digger you were

But you didn’t steal, it was my fault

I gave too much

Once again

The story repeats itself over and over,

until it ends

#love #love poetry #love poem #gave too much #ending #end #the end #superficiality #astrology #seeking validation #external validation #emotional validation #validation #gold #gold digger #poem #poet #writeblr #poet blog #story ending

[normiewizard]

theyre always telling me i have cognitive distortions but they never ask HOW were the cognitive distortions were they scary they sounded scary

[pinkseas]

for the ask game!

The Egg did this to you, you know. You hate it more than anything. You want to tear it to shreds, want to watch it bleed and wither and rot into nothingness. You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you. You want to make it hurt the way that it hurt you.

But you miss it, too. You hate it more than anything and you miss it, even though you know you shouldn't, even though it makes you feel sick, disgusting, ashamed. What kind of person loves the thing that killed them? What kind of person loves the thing that hurt so many people?

The Egg loved you at the same time that it made you unworthy of love. It gave you a purpose, a home, at the same time that it made sure you wouldn't belong anywhere other than by its side again.

You want to rip it open and crawl inside of it and never feel cold again. You want to tear it apart with your bare hands. You want to sink your teeth into its flesh and consume it until the hole it left inside of you has been filled. You want to hear it scream. You want to let it rot your heart until there's nothing left of you. You want to eat it alive. You want bloodvines to wrap around your throat and drag you back into the earth. Do you want to kill it, or do you want it to kill you? The line blurs, and blurs, and blurs.

Not that it matters. It's already dead, and you think you are too.

ANONNNNNNNNNN god this scene was so. it was so. it was very Interesting to write this is one of the ones where half the time i look back and im like "god i love that for me" and half the time i look back and im like "what the Fuck"

okay, so, heres the thing. i see a LOT of symbolism and potential with the egg, shit like addiction and dependency and especially abuse. and that aspect is what i was really trying to highlight here. i wanted to express how difficult the aftermath of a heavily dependent, abusive relationship is- feeling like it shaped you yet wanting nothing to do with it, wondering if you know how to exist without it, feeling like you owe it everything and like it killed you all at once.

and those feelings get intense. whether one way or another they can get VERY extreme, which is a lot of what that first (and second to last) paragraph is, trying to highlight how vicious those thoughts are. "You want to dig your way to its core and settle yourself in its warmth, to infect it from the inside out and watch it shrivel and die around you." is pretty much exactly what the next sentence says it is- its how i picture what the eggpire feels the egg did to it, seeping into their very being and rotting them from the inside out.

but yeah this entire excerpt altogether was done to highlight the conflicting love and hate that comes during/after abusive relationships like that.

#mmmmmm putting this in the tags bc i am a COWARD!!!!!! #but most of this scene i was thinking about my own experience with relationships like that #i actually ended up telling my therapist about this fic and talking to her a lot about it #because writing it brought a certain level of emotional catharsis #ive almost ENTIRELY processed all of my own shit in terms of everything that happened and im largely passed it #past it* oops #but i see a lot of what happened with me personally in what happened with the egg and the eggpire #so writing this was like. a way to express that? #with obviously the first chapter focusing a lot on those darker thoughts and the isolation and the spiral #and the second focusing SO heavily on the healing because thats the aspect thats the most important to me #the second chapter was NOT based on my own experience emotionally but it was so fucking enjoyable to just. idk. #write people who'd gone through the same shit experiencing different consequences and struggling with different aspects #all coming together to help each other and themselves in the aftermath #the ONLY thing i know about the second chapter is that someone liked my skeppy headcanon i have no idea if it was good or not #idk how my characterization was if it was alright or garbage or swapped between the two #and that makes me really nervous but at the same time #it was so enjoyable to write that healing process that even when i DO get nervous about it i cant entirely bring myself to care #i sort of automatically seek external validation but at the end of the day i wrote this fic entirely for myself #and ill always be really happy with that fact #I GOT SO OFF TOPIC but yeah so a lot of those extreme thoughts were like #me drawing from my own experience and my own more extreme and vicious thoughts. and my own extreme and more vicious love #things that are very thankfully years past me now but that i still remember pretty clearly

[ohara-n-brown]

As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.

Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.

The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.

I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.

I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.

As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.

95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'

I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.

That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.

There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.

My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.

Borderline patients can't win.

And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.

BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.

Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.

And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.

I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.

Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.

Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.

To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.

I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.

I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.

You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.

Borderline people I'm sorry.

#autism #bpd #borderline personality disorder #actually autistic #neurodivergent #neurodivergency #neurodiversity #cluster b

[theambitiouswoman]

40 Examples of Self Abandonment 🤕👎💭💔

Self-abandonment means not taking care of yourself, your needs, and your feelings. It's like ignoring what's good for you and not being kind to yourself normally in a way that benefits everyone but you.

Not eating well or exercising.

Pretending to be happy when you're not.

Working too much without breaks.

Staying in a bad relationship.

Letting people use you.

Forgetting about things you enjoy.

Not saying what you want.

Always doing things for others.

Not asking for help when you're sad or stressed.

Being alone when you need friends.

Saying mean things to yourself in your head.

Giving up your dreams for others.

Avoiding problems instead of solving them.

Never taking time to relax.

Ignoring how you look or feel.

Not asking for help when things are too hard.

Trying to be perfect all the time.

Doing things that hurt you, like drugs or danger.

Changing who you are to fit in.

Not being yourself and doing what others want.

Ignoring your body when it needs rest or sleep.

Letting others make decisions for you all the time.

Keeping your feelings bottled up inside.

Surrounding yourself with people who bring you down.

Not pursuing your interests or hobbies.

Saying "yes" to everything, even when you're overwhelmed.

Putting up with disrespect or mistreatment from others.

Not giving yourself credit for your accomplishments.

Skipping important appointments or check-ups.

Holding onto grudges and negative emotions.

Comparing yourself unfavorably to others.

Not taking breaks when you're stressed.

Neglecting your financial well-being and overspending.

Ignoring signs of burnout or exhaustion.

Avoiding seeking help for mental health struggles.

Ignoring your own intuition and gut feelings.

Overcommitting and spreading yourself too thin.

Constantly seeking validation from others.

Letting fear hold you back from trying new things.

Dwelling on past mistakes and not forgiving yourself.

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