#seems so normal yk

[mattodore]

pets him

#river dipping #ts4 #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #a burning house to live in #echthroi #🦇 #i used this image to experiment with some new things i learned #making that hickey on matthias's neck look more gnarly was fun. theo tries to make them last as long as they can so. #they normally look pretty dark and nasty #i really did mean to post this yesterday but yk how it goes... anyway. i'm going to make An Attempt at tackling my activity feed today #if i sound weird to any of you just pretend i seem so normal #i also want to actually catch up soon... #ik i'm definitely behind on kmik and the legacies i keep up with #i just don't want to sound insincere when i catch up... #so i might just put those off for when i'm actually back to feeling uhhhhhh . not like a weird little husk of myself #oh. also i made this pose. their height difference is actually there it's just that matthias is leaning forward a lot and bending down #and theo's up on his toes and leaning into matthias's chest

[softleesam]

<3

#tw ed mention #not pro ed but recovery talk /neg #i just passed two years in recovery on the 24th #and i'm v proud of myself #but also i don't wanna make a big deal of it yk? #like woo i'm doing a normal human thing #idk after you're sick for a while it stops being a big deal to anybody else it seems like #but i wanted to acknowledge the day since it is a big deal to me #and say thank you to those who have loved and supported me through it even if they didn't realize it at the time #so thank you<3

[fleshdyke]

portrait of stede bonnet, circa 1716

#idk how to feel about this. i like it but also the chair is so fucked up looking #the proportions seem off even though i traced it directly off a stock image??? idk. #i didn’t know how to incorporate my tumblr in there like i normally do so i just put it as the artists signature #idk if that’s what artist signatures in the 1700s looked like but yk. whatever #anyways he’s posing in front of one of those school picture backgrounds. you know the one. #rambles #my art #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #ofmd art

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Me: I don't know what to do with Veronica's character in post s8 au, I don't want her to be Just Lance's sister and Kuron's friend with Pidge's storyline slapped on her, but also I'm not really sure about her character. Sure there's the whole lying to her family thing but I don't think that's enough?

Brain: ok so what if Veronica started out as trying to look for what was Lance upto but she ends up being so obsessed with finding the truth that not only she repeatedly puts herself in harms way but also the original goal falls on wayside.

This could be her way of dealing with trauma which is getting engrossed in the Mission and a problem to fix while suppressing her grief and refusing to actually acknowledge her problems and her own emotions a foil to Kuron's arc that is him being literally driven by emotions. She's angry at Lance for leaving without a word and angry at her family for their clinginess, however she keeps it to herself and just avoid them pretending everything is fine and normal

Also a foil to Lance who started as trying to figure out what was going on but as soon as he realized that 1) Allura and Kuron are still sorta alive 2) he can bring them back, he got obsessed with it consequences by damned.

Plus through her we can actually explore how quintessence actually effects and changes humans rather than become aware of the end result

Also there's something a character who is obsessed with truth but is also such a frequent liar

#There's a lot more but it involves changing a lot of elements of this au and explaining half assed elements and scenes in my head #post s8 au #post s8 posting #Just realizing she's having a jon sims arc. Good for her! Atleast she won't accidentally cause an apocalypse #It is still very draft and beta and I keep changing things in it as soon as I think of something cool #I kinda want Lance to be like at first seeing him living a 'normal' life but also there's something clearly Wrong #Veronica seems to be always busy and gone and never there. Shadows and crows being weird #and a voice asking him 'Did you make right choice?' And 'Remember' and 'wake up' #only to reveal that he has been living in a fake reality and a lot of his family is dead #yk that one scene in dunmeshi where Laois digs up and stares at Falin's skull. Lance digging up a grave and be like 'Mom?' #it's representational in his own head. And Lance created this fake reality as a form of denialism #Veronica at first being standoffish not being completely honest with Kuron #Lying to Kuron and her superiors about where she had been making her sus #Kuron not knowing that Lance was the one who brought him back until much later #only that *Someone*was reaching out to him in Shiro's mind and made his body #The family is dead and Lance was living in fake reality reveal happens just as Veronica starts being honest with Kuron #Few of the family members are killed due to retaliation from an extremist galra group #A hot topic in coalition meetings which is a way for connecting Hunk!!!! To the plot!!!!! #I love you my brain!!! #Sorry this is so fucking incoherent

[cosmobrain00]

well🙂

#*visibly trying not to burst into tears* hey guys whats up #surprise surprise another absence bc my life can’t stop getting WORSE evry day it seems haha! #so. now who’s gonna tell me how u deal w the loss of ur fave person n the one person u were 100% certain truly loved u no matter what #who also inspired u to be an artist in the first place n who's been there for u ur ENTIRE life #like idk how to start dealing w it lmao. one min ill be basically okay n then the next ill feel like smthing just tore a chunk out of me #looked outside just a sec ago n thought “oh so she'll never see my progress in art. oh ill never get to make another painting for her” #n yk part of me just wants to pretend like none of it happened honestly #like “hey that was a fucked up dream oh well let me call [x] n tell them I love them” #n I dont fucking KNOW how to deal w this grief n idk whats normal n what isnt #no I havent cried rlly but almost every day I feel like I cant breathe n tht my chest is collapsing in on itself #no I cant talk abt it but i can’t draw like I used to n thinking abt my last art project makes me wanna throw up #< considering it was going to be a present for her tht she'll never get to see. Haha so funny right guys #fuck I need to get so entirely drunk over this now RELAPSING TIME BABY!! #anyways. will try to be normal tm n talk to ppl again instead of isolating as a way to cope n sorry to ppl who have msg'd me Ill be back

[jiggery-duggery]

how I look suggesting to my group partners that we do our bio presentation on vultures

#reggietales #specifically how they evolved convergently and might throw in a note thrown in on conservation too bc theyre. in trouble!!!!!! #they said they didnt have any ideas and we needed a topic i was like 'well i do have one idea..........................' #they seemed receptive so we'll see. i feel kind of bad like im forcing them but!!!! augh!!!!!!! we needed a topic and i had that one in min #and they said they were cool with anything so. idk i stressed that we rly didnt have to do this topic i was just throwing out an idea i wan #them to be interested too. its not fun if their hearts arent in it. we can pick p much anything lets do something well all enjoy yk? augh #i hope its ok. i hope theyre not secretly mad at me. mayb i should have been quiet. idk #i hesitate to use the word neurodivergent to describe myself bc ive never been formally diagnosed with adhd or autism #and i also dont think im negatively impacted enough by any traits i share w those disorders to qualify to have them #but i am for sure fucking abnormal about birds and vultures like. hyperfixation is the only word that fits. maybe even special interest idk #like i almost dont WANT to do this topic it weirdly feels like. selfish??? idk im just. aaaahhhhh!!! lmao #*staring haggard and weary at myself in the mirror gripping the counter with a white-knuckled grip* i will be normal i will be normal i wil

[avatardoggo]

I HAVE FEELINGS FOR A BOYMAN

#sooooooooo BASICALLY i haven’t really been as active as normal bc of school and yk taking 5 courses is not for the weak but i am strong in #Jesus Name AMEN!! so this update might seem a bit random but ya we move. sooo this guy isn’t to be confused with pool table guy from october #that guy is cool and all but we only ever talk about anime and he leaves me on delivered a lot sooo on to the next ig but this guy that i #have developed Feels for issssss hmmm well call him Friendly Giant ™️ (FG) bc he’s like taalll (6’1 ish?) and dark skin and cute and all but #like he looks intimidating but then has the softest deepest voice and it’s all like aaaawwwwww #but basically he’s just this big sweet guy and at first i thought we were just friends and all but then yk you kinda can’t beat the Just #Friends allegations when you ft call a girlie up on CHRISTMAS bc she’s trying to figure out how she’s going to cross the boarder BY HERSELF #bc her siblings are of no help AND THEN when said girlie ft calls you the next day yall stay on the phone for 4(!!!) hours and THEN you offe #r to reach her how to drive and you brought her soup when she got her wisdom teeth surgery and when she bought something using your prime u #said she didn’t need to pay you back and when she insisted said FG GUY SAID AND I QUOTE “LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU FOR ONCE 🤯 #LIKEEEEE #all this while tho i was in fairytale land thinking about how he’s such a great friend and la dee daa bc i didn’t think i was his type and #all that but then i was praying last night and the i was like Holy Spirit do i like this man? and He was like yes and you’re trying to #rationalize your feelings but you like him and he likes you #so nooowwww i’m all like 🙂👍🏾🥳😳😳😳😳😳😳 #YK?????????!!!!!! #but ya that’s the latest update 😚 #i like a guy and he likes me 🥹😶😃👍🏾😳🤯 #mutuals my beloved <3 #vk overshares in the tags

[autistic-katara]

seeing ur beloved mutual reblogging some questionable shit (probably unintentionally) but not having the energy to argue or explain why </3

#please i dont wanna have to be the one to correct u fuckers every time u reblog a mildly disguised dogwhistle #goyish mutuals please talk to some jews (who r knowledgeable and want to educate ppl) #cause stg some of the stuff i’m seeing is 2 steps below nazi propaganda #and ik its most likely not malicious but god i’m so tired #please educate urself on some stuff #bcz some of the shit ur rbing could easily be found on some neonazi page if u just (((added some of these around the word zionist))) #or just replaced the word zionist with “jews” or smthn #or idk just so many posts if u tweaked the language just a little but kept the same message it would be blatant nazi shit #and yeah sure the post sounds normal nd everything or whatever but u gotta remembered the point of dogwhistles is to seem innocuous #to signal to other nazis to make them sound more sympathetic and to make ppl calling them out seem insane #just please guys i’m begging u watch out for those posts that r like #“the zionists in hollywood r censoring x” or #“oh no! x jewish celebrity is scared of antisemitism in their big mansion? so sad! lets address their hurt feelings right away #dead palestinian children can wait!” #or whatever #like yes what israel is doing is beyond fucked nd the us being supportive of it is gross but please ffs watch what ur reblogging/posting #think abt if its denying/downplaying antisemitism #if u replaced the word “zionist” with “jew” would it sound like a conspiracy theory? #are u dehumanising jewish/israeli ppl in any way? #(bcz yes not every israeli citizen is the actual devil yk i dont think my 2 month old cousin ever bombed anyone) #yk just please think before u post/reblog jesus fucking christ #idk i kinda went off on a whole rant here oops- #antisemitism #ryan shut the fuck up

[indigodawns]

i need to put my thoughts on the devil's plan (netflix reality game show) somewhere so can i just say kudos to ORBIT for his commitment to getting everyone to survive like it truly doesn't make for ~the best television but i respect it so much :') also seungkwan constantly making sure yeonwoo remains in the game is very sweet, though apparently he's going into his villain arc now thanks to seewon's convincing, she's a great femme fatale figure :') also ha seokjin is hot but he keeps giving me :// with his attitude (i rly though joonbin would be like that but he really did change his tune after ep1 good for him!) like truly sucks sometimes when men are hot and smart and aware of both. and then also dongjoo is so hot also in terms of personality im rooting for her!!! and for kyeongrim :') <3

#also so nice to see male idols interact (respectfully and yk. Normal) with women <3 #seungkwan judging the way yeonwoo washed her face will sustain me for weeks #(plus the way he helped her and tried to make her more comfortable) #(also everyone on the show seems to like him which is <3) #(he's also nowhere near as sneaky as i expected but gose vs this is ofc so so different and ig jeonghan is the cheater anyway) #also also funny to make them play a board game like sure i'll watch that #the devil's plan #or just. #devil's plan #not that it matters

[roraimae]

all the romancable DAO companions really just start falling for the warden if you're simply nice to them, huh

#i am trying really hard to keep them at arms length because I haven't decided between leliana and zevran #yet somehow I accidentally started a romance with alistair which I didn't even notice until he pulled out the rose #i am convinced it started because my warden told him she likes him for himself not his blood #which is a perfectly normal thing to say given that's a thing he seems insecure about and she genuinely likes him *but not as love interest #at least that's where I needed to reload to because I felt too bad to shoot him down lmao #also it would be mildly weird because in my mind that warden sees alistair more as a sibling she really wants to give a pep talk to #and square up with anyone that's rude to him #anyway #my point stands because I have to make an active effort with leliana to not lead her on #and to be fair I'm not trying that hard to stop with with zevran but also his approval is so easy to get up as well #morrigan might break that pattern #i wouldnt know because for some reason she's straight #and I made a female warden because my inky is a dude and I can't have everyone powerful be a dude yk as much as I love cas

[masked-puppetmaster]

do you think hunter ever felt guilty getting a new palisman. Like he has so clearly found so many ways to honor flapjack with the grave and the whole tattoo situation but like do you think he was worried about replacing flapjack when he (presumably) made waffles

#TOH #toh spoilers #it just seems like something he would be worried about #Bcos flapjack was more than a palisman to him yk #Like that bird was family to him that bird got him out of the worst situation of his life #That bird wholeass saved his life in more ways than one like you can’t tell me he’d just be like #Completely content making a new palisman yk #I’m glad he has waffles and I know he loves her to death just like I wonder if it was hard like #Emotionally yk #Someone write a fic. Or I will perhaps #Also I wanna know how the tattoo situation arose #Bcos like yeah they all adored flapjack but hunter was the one like completely devastated by her death and with good reason #But what I’m getting at there is that like #They got the tattoos as a group so like they had to have decided to do that for hunter yk #I wonder how that came up to do it as s group who’s idea it was #I noticed hunters is where his coven sigil used to be maybe he wanted to replace it? #Also magic. Hunter can’t do magic normally like the others can besides the stuff he got from flapjack #Did he lose the ability to use glyphs when the titan died? Does he have to learn new glyphs w luz? Do lily and eda? #Lots of thoughts lots of questions! #Much room for fic and the like

[nomaishuttle]

btw controversial but fuckk ptsd dude yohre telling me judt bc my parents shouldnt ever have been parents now i have to be fucked up for the rest of my life .

#i know like..coping mechanisms and ris8ng above and learning to live with it but like its fucking stupid and unfair bc im never gonna stop #having ptsd yk. my episodes might get less frequent i might build happier memories but jm always gonna have these memory blocks and trigger #s and nightmares like. forever. im never gonna get to have had a normal childhood thats the most fuckedbup thing ever #like ik this is whiny but like. why. why me what did i do to deserve that childhood. not that any kid deserves abusive childhoods obviously #it sounds like im like ermmm there r wayyy worse kids who shouldve been the ones to go to the zoo 💀 but like ykwim. why does #thus have to happen to so many ppl i hate it i hate it. i wish i could just Actually forget everything instead of just like. not rly #remembering it but Knowing it..yk. i know everything that happened to me even if its all blocked out #and i still feel like. the effects of it even the stuff thats jncredibly hazy to me. and jm never not gojng to feel that. my personality hs #literally been fucking shaped by the childhood i have and like. yes you can 'change' your personality a bit and your choices blah blah blah #but like. even with that. im still always gonna be like. my first impulse will always be distrust and doubt and fear. even if i train #myself not to Act on those emotions i still will always feel them. im always going to expect people to leave even if they dont even if i #dont let myself push them away its something im always going to be terrified of in the back of my mind. im never gojng to have #proper social skills bc i fully missed out on that stage of development im never going to be like. at the same level as my peers bc i #missed out on those skills. sigh. ik ik ik feeljng inhuman and feeljng different from everybody else is a jniversal thing but i truly think #im like. im missing something that everybody else seems to have and i dont even know what it is but i know i dont have it and everyone #can tell j dont have it and it fucking. sucks . basically

[memeticallyengineered]

so. dancers huh

#aesop answers #aesop scribbles #touhou project #mai teireida #satono nishida #in my brain i imagine the dancers as being one person that okina literally split in two. she took One Person:tm: and split them in half #so if you've just met them it'll seem pretty normal. like theyre friends that imprinted on each other a lot yk? #but if you hang out with them more you're just like “these guys are the same person but in different fonts” and it gets eerie #there's also the occasional glitch where they do end up reacting the exact same in certain situations #plus a lot of really freaky looking synchrony

[todayisafridaynight]

three months later and i still think it wouldve been the funniest thing in the universe if daigo and masato were A Thing at any point in time

#masadai #snap chats #i made that initial post in november and man.... brainrot got worse i may not show it but i think of them every night #like Obvious Emos Is Obvious but theyre such funny ‘rivals’ if i can even label them like that #like they never had personal beef with each other but my brain can justify comparing them enough to make it seem legit enough #i blame my brother actually he put the brainrot back in my head with shit he said tonight #we were just joking around and talking about how funny itd be if aoki showed up after every one of daigos cringe fail moments #and its like. At The Funeral daigo sitting alone with mitsuo and he just kinda turns around #bro all ‘yeah yk in retrospect he made me think of an old friend of mine.. ambitious.. had pretty bad trust issues... capitalist’ #and mitsuo just squinting like ‘...sir do you have a type im very concerned about your type’ and then daigo has a mental breakdown #denyin it like No Its Different Mitsu Please... but majima on the other side of the room like #HES A FREAK I KNEW IT YOURE JUST LIKE THE REST OF US DAI-CHAN #MY BROTHER REALLY WAS LIKE ‘and now mitsuo has to explain to ichiban why the chairman has his head in its hands #and its cause he kinkshamed him at the funeral’ LIKE ???? NEVER EXPECTED MY CONSIDERABLY-MORE-NORMAL-THAN-ME BROTHER TO SAY THAT #WHEN I SAY I GASPED #daigos kink is capitalists you hate to see it #i dont have steam or time to draw anymore we just have to take my insane ramblings instead #im forcing images into peoples brains one way or another #so if you see me make more masadai text posts. SORRY #i just like smacking my faves against each other like barbie dolls

[ace-fandom-dumbass]

Finally started welcome to night vale, cough because of the poll cough and uh

Okay so I'm on episode 23 and several episodes ago, don't remeber which one, Cecil was going on about the voicemails from Carlos right (if you know the episode please give me the name) I'm sitting here just like

"Oh my God you useless dork. Maybe pay attention to literally anything in there but "can we meet up" holy shit. He's obviously freaking out over whatever the hell is happening in this batshut town, maybe notice that"

Uh, but now I'm several episodes later. Like, a lot of episodes later I think. And he somehow hasn't mentioned Carlos since? Wft he never went more than like, a full episode with out being gay for him what is happening

#wtnv #dont actually like explain or spoil it #just spewing into the void #but like #while i spent a lot of time rolling my eyes #being like 'useless gay pay attention to what hes actually saying holy shit' #like i kinda like carlos #he seems cool #and also relatively normal so like #yk very helpful to know theres a character also going 'what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck?' the whole time #also what the hell was the sandstorm thing #i mean kevin was intresting #but like huh?

[astrxealis]

fuuta currently having a LOT of innocent votes i am very happy about that

#starry #⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚ #but also milgram is so complex that i cannnot be fully happy about it still #yk that post 'you love a character but you'll riot if they don't get punched at least once' yeah that's me w fuuta #but also it's weird to say that bcs i REALLY see myself in him LMFAO (not to an even remotely similar extent tho omg dw </3) #but yeah i understand him and with that said. yeah. yeah #he deserved the first guilty vote but please. i think he really does deserve innocent after that #i just hope he learns to accept his mistake/s.......... but it's still confusing. he's a victim of sorts but to what extent are his 'sins'? #i wonder. truly. i truly wonder. #milgram is so wonderful to me bcs wow. haruka was influnced by muu and him in the 1st and 2nd trials. different #yuno's 'crime' i don't consider a crime and thankfully many don't as well but i wonder too how exactly it is as well? #+ the fact is it happened multiple times and she just doesn't care at all. girlboss love her fr but time and time again and it feels a bit #more eh to me. ultimately though she can do whatever she wants! it's her body after all <3 love yuno fr she's the most normal here lol #fuuta. he is alike to kotoko and the viewers but he is deemed guilty (for the first trial) #perhaps his personality? it's weird to me bcs ofc i can't say for certain yet. but from what i do know #he feels regret. and i think even though he is obviously in denial. i think he knows what he did is wrong. and that he is at least somewhat #at fault. but a lot of people don't understand characters like that it seems! yeah... hmmm #i am obsessed with backdraft. also really happy this is the first time i've been here for a release even if i wish i knew this all earlier #a small theory (just a random one) is that w muu and fuuta? bully and bullied yeah but what if it was different at first #that fuuta was bullied. and muu was the bully (in their respective stories) and then the tables turned #just a small theory! trying to read the lyrics sobbing and also relating it to the other person in the pair #really glad he's being voted mostly innocent thank GOD #haruka is really a dilemma though... even i don't know what would be best. leaning towards guilty #but innocent ultimately? but there's the fact with muu that makes it really...... complex. #anyways really unfair imo kotoko was innocent and fuuta guilty in the first trial. love kotoko and her undercut but it's a lil #of double standards for me! even though i love a girlboss fr <3 </3 #tbh saying fuuta 'still doesnt think hes at fault' is stupid imo bcs he shows regret. all this time. regret. #and that shows that he - one way or another - knows he's at fault at least somewhat #fuuta kajiyama