Wow, the Tumblr world seems to be having a rough go of it today. Hang in there, you guys. Let’s all go onto the internets and find something funny now, kay?
So I am feeling… troubled.
And idk if it’s just… a glance at the news or something else. Maybe it’s that I’m in an office most of the day and I’m lonely and this is the fifth day strait of doing this.
I feel pretty good, considering. I’m a little wiped, sure. And my hopes of comfy bras and animal crossing this weekend may be dashed. But like, I’m making progress. I have all of next week to grind on work as needed. I have the weekend and today to do thesis work. I’ve got new game recommendations. I’ve got good food. I’ve got good company. I’ve got the ability to take advantage of these things.
I think the baseline level of spoons is changed during the crisis. Not a terrible way for my body and mind to be reacting. But something I want to keep an eye on. There is so much to keep an eye on.
I mean, a truth that is good to return to is that I will be okay. A friend is talking about learning to garden in case this lasts years. I don’t know about that, but I believe this is not the only crisis I may experience in my lifetime.
It’s a tricky thing, defining how much I want to listen to my parents and how much I don’t. How cautious I want to be in my life, how much I want to prepare for the worst. How much I want to talk about animal crossing and how much about strategy for survival.
I am safe. I have support for if that changes. I have privilege and time and luck on my side.
And I worry, because there is always something to worry about. And I fret, because all the advantage in the world can’t stop me from being broken by unfortunate details.
But the odds are in my favor, as dark as that is to say.
And there is light to foster and grow if I keep an eye on it.
And I can come out stronger on the other side, despite having to feel the exersion right now.
And I don’t have to look at this big complex situation as a huge leviathan all the time
Chunk it. Break it into steps. Let the first step be to breathe. It’s a great first step, really. Doable and important. Just give that step some time for a while. It deserves it. Breathe.
@rainaramsay because I love you and I hope this reads as satisfying as it was to write and I doubt I’d write much at all if I hadn’t met you
Sometimes I just wish I could talk to you. That you would sit and listen Without judgement, or feeling personally attacked. I wish that my problems and past traumas didn’t make you cry, or feel like it’s your fault. It’s not. How I feel is a reflection of me and my chemical balances. I’m not trying to attack you. I just want to feel loved despite my problems. Like my broken ness is ok but also that it’s ok to move on. I love you but sometimes It’s hard.
You are allowed to be upset. Even if something happens for a reason. Even if down the line something good comes from it. Even if it isnt the worst thing you’ve been through. Even if there are bigger things going on in the world. Even if someone else went through the same thing without getting upset. You are allowed to be upset over it.
Follow me! ❤️🌼☀️
“If you’re feeling a bit down cause of self isolation just cut bread into a hand shape and when it pops up in the toaster it feels like someone is giving you a high 5” -Joe Heenan
I want to grow. I want to build my self esteem and confidence. I want to know my worth. I want to know myself better. That is the goal at the top of my list, SELF LOVE❤️
Being in nature really is keeping me sane at the moment. Alongside all the suffering Spring is here, the world’s waking up after Winter and the flowers are starting to bloom again. It’s beautiful. Get outside and have a wander if you can, have a change of scenery and feel the wind in your hair and sun on your face. It’s so comforting to see at least a little of normality, and to walk into the reminder that no matter how bleak and dark now can be, we rebuild. ❤️
Today, I woke up with a new perspective. Today, I finally had the epiphany that what’s occurring is a blessing and not a punishment. Not to say it’s a blessing that so many are suffering, that it’s a blessing that sickness is reigning…but that this time that feels so challenging and so difficult to overcome can be, in fact, a time of profound and intense healing and growth.
Less scrolling, more mindfulness. Less comparison, more presence and awareness. Changes to my routines that bring me back to Source and Center. More focus on well-being. More focus on authentic joy.
So I began my morning with a workout followed by a yoga routine and a spiritual practice I’ve set down during the chaos, only to pick up again and discover a new peace. This is where transformation resides. ♡
April Productivity Challenge
1 parenting thing: I want to make French toast with Connor and as long as he’s interested I’d like to continue making his aquarium. If he doesn’t want to work on the aquarium I think we’ll make Easter egg drawings for the windows. Connor loves to paint and I’m sure I can figure out a (sure to be messy) way to include Oliver
1 house thing: I should really clean out the litter boxes and I also need to sweep and mop the kitchen floor today.
1 self care thing: I’m going to make myself a strawberry banana smoothie and keep reading Stay Sexy and Don’t get Murdered
Share your self care
🌿 Favourite comfort food: chocolate 🍫
🌼 Favourite alcohol (or hot drink!): I can’t start my day without coffee in the mornings. ☕️ Wine or honey rum for my choice of alcohol when I feel like it. 🍷🍯
🌷 Favourite relaxing activity: taking a shower (by myself), going for a walk (by myself), really any activity without kids 🚿🚶♀️
🌸 Favourite fluffy/feel-good fic: I’ve been reminiscing on twific lately. A fic from 11 years ago updated this week! 😳
🌻 Favourite calming scent: coffee, my huband’s cologne, clean linen 👃
🌺 Favourite relaxing (or uplifting) song: anything by for KING & COUNTRY 🎶
🌵 Favourite white noise: RAIN! 🌧
🍄 Favourite book to get lost in: The Night Circus and The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern 🎪 🌊 📚
💐 Favourite chill-out TV show: any sitcoms like Black-ish, Fresh Off The Boat, B99, Superstore 📺
🌹 The best advice you’ve ever had: You can’t pour from an empty cup!
To everyone stuck in quarantine or trying to survive the social isolation. I’m thinking of you all. Dear friends, followers and people that I don’t even know. This time is one of the times where people need one another the most. Take care of yourselves; exercise, practice self-care and try doing little things with the people you’re in isolation with.
Recently, I’ve taken a bit of a hit with my mental health. As isolation started, I had to be taken off anti-depressants. So, while I feel a little batty and down. I’ve been working on the best things to make me feel a little happier. Playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons with a lot of my friends. Since the real world is pretty shitty right now, why not make a new place that’s both cute and authentically pleasing.
Tonight I decided to get back onto drawing to try and ease my mind a little. Wouldn’t credit myself as being a good drawer in the least. But, I’m working on a picture that is the characters of friends who play Animal Crossing with me. Like a school photo, or group photo. Something to make light in the situation.
Above my sketch is on my Avatar in game. Since I’m a huuuuuuge sleeper at the moment have the worst habit for forgetting to brush my hair. She’s got a bit of a bedhead.
Really hope you enjoy this little message.
As for withdrawals, it’s why I’ve been avoiding writing presently. Medication can alter your thoughts and processing. Personally, I’m really self-negative at the moment so I need to take a moment to recover. Since, I don’t want to rush in and be super pushy on my stories. Ruining the magic of them! Take care my lovelies <3
Okay I got like 5 replies on that post but I decided to do it anyway.
I started a new Instagram for content like the one on this blog. Follow and I will DEFINITELY follow bacK!
MY DUMBASS FINALLY GOT BACK DOWN TO 65 THEN I JUST WENT AND ATE A LOAF OF BREAD A PACKET OF TIM TAMS TTEOKBOKKI A BAG OF CHIPS IM SO ANGRY IM SO PISSED I WAS DOING SO WELL FUCK WHY COULDNT I HAVE JUST GONE TO SLEEP
I am so pissed and scared about getting on the scale tomorrow.
I feel so bloated but it’s like 2am and I still have to wash the dishes and my muscles are sore from working out over the week but I just consumed maybe 2500calories and that’s a lot for me.
Tim tams: 382kj x9 (~850cal)
Sunflower seeds: 182cal ×3 (~400cal)
Sourdough w avocado: 1000cal (ish idk it doesn’t say)
Eggplant curry, yoghurt, salad: maybe 600cal?
Fucking shit probably more than 3150 calories total
I feel like shit and I’m really struggling with
A) not getting off the couch to do something about it
And b) trying to convince myself that not eating tomorrow is a bad idea I really want to just not eat tomorrow fuck
Series: 31 Goddesses
Goddess #29: Aine
“The sun Goddess of love and light, Aine is a fairy Queen from Limerick in Ireland. She rules over agriculture and animals and is celebrated every year at the Midsummer Festival. People light torches and run up her hill, Cnoc Aine, to ask for her blessings on their farms.”
“As a strong and loving Goddess, Aine is also a survivor of sexual abuse in many myths and she guides her people- especially women- to the warmth of the sun, to finding their own power, and to regeneration.”
Her Legacy: inner strength, overcoming past traumas, facing your challenges, making clear decisions, taking a leap of faith.
May we connect to the Divine Feminine within us and remember who we are.