#self depreciating thoughts

[onychespherein]

shattering glass crack crack crack

Albedo stared at the shattered glass and the small pool of liquid of unidentifiable color. Something inside his stomach twisted.

He messed up. His master told him to bring her the vial of that thing ─ that he couldn't remember for his life what was supposed to do ─ that she had been working on for the last months, that she had only one vial of, that was nearly entirely made of extremely rare and expensive ingredients, and he messed it up.

It wasn't even a hard thing to do. He was just supposed to bring it to her, it was easy, laughably so. Take a vial, hold it, give it to her. He did more difficult things, like, like learning the Art of Khemia, reviving branches and creating butterflies and more, investigating the ley lines and─ and there was that thesis, too, and all the new languages, and, and─

And he still messed it up.

There was something twisting inside his stomach; a lump at the back of his throat making it hard to swallow and harder to breathe. The lack of oxygen could cause dizziness but he didn't even need to breathe, so why did he begin to feel lightheaded? Was he sick? He felt like he might throw up, and his hands were shaking violently like tree branches in the middle of a hurricane. He wasn't supposed to be able to get sick. Did he somehow mess that up like the vial, too?

The vial. Oh gods above, the vial.

He was going to die. His master was going to see just how much of an useless and bumbling idiot he was, and then she'd create another one that would be smarter and useful and would never fail something as simple as bringing a vial to her. Albedo was a failure.

He was a failure, a stupid useless thing that couldn't manage to hold a fu─ a freaking vial. He wasn't supposed to swear. He almost messed that up too, and he was supposed to be his master's greatest achievement? A joke, that's what he is. And it's completely his own fault, too. If only he could act like he was supposed to, do what he was supposed to, be exactly what he was supposed to be.

But he couldn't do even that, no! Wasn't that pathetic? Wasn't he pathetic?

A weird constant ringing overcame his senses and Albedo felt as if he was choking on air. He shouldn't be able to choke, either. It was so loud. Too loud. Much, much too loud he felt like his head was splitting open, where did the sound come from anyway?

"Albedo? What on earth are you doing?"

He really can't do anything right, can he?

#genshin impact albedo #mentioned rhinedottir #mild anxiety attack i think #self depreciating thoughts #might be a bit ooc #ive been feeling so fucking anxious today #i am projecting #i ruined a perfectly good homunculus is what i did #look at him #he's got anxiety #short fics

[caluski]

So sick of this overly negative meme that shows up every single fucking month so made my own version.

#Like thought we were done with the self depreciating jokes where the punchline is 'I wanna kms'. Whatever #pogaduchy

[kidovna]

it’s that time of the year when i want to change my art style bc i don’t like it as much anymore

#it’s the spiderverse effect i’m telling you ksgdjjd #i always find my way back but i’m gonna start making small changes #especially with rendering and colour picking #and lines….. #i have a vision #i need to implement it 🙏🏽 #this is not self depreciation btw #this is me being pumped to change and learn more #especially bc my dream career path is art director/concept artist so i want to start leaning that way #middle of the night thoughts fr #thoughts #god i love art so much #i love how artists i look upto inspire me everyday #i love being an artist

[a-very-smooth-boltzmann-brain]

Me going to sleep knowing that there's so much stuff to learn in the world and it doesn't matter if I fail at first, eventually I'll get there.

#yeah no self depreciation today #aka i just finished writing a code and I'm feeling good about myself #just wholesome thoughts #striking me once every 35375 days #dark academia #philosophy #light academia #coding #codeblr #cs50 #math studyblr #physicsblr #:) for now #actually cs50 actually taught me one important thing and that is how to sit my ass down and learn stuff #and i needed it #happy monday #now i sleep #computer science

[the-one-who-lambs]

Every time I feel like my writing is mediocre I scroll through all the lovely comments people have left and it rekindles the same creative spirit I had when I was twelve years old and writing fanfic for the first time, when the thought of criticizing myself didn't even occur to me because I was finding so much joy in the simple act of creation, when I was still trying to unfurl my petals because I wasn't sure how to bloom but by god I was growing

#hannah's rambles #I'm not having those self-depreciating thoughts right now #I just think about the thousands of people out there who have read and loved the writing I've shared and stuck with me #And I hold them all in my heart which is too small to contain everything and now everything is leaking out onto the floor #I don't know how to think about people who have been inspired by me or cheered me on and not get overwhelmed with appreciation #And love and hopes and dreams and possibilities #I don't know what I'm talking about but God am I feeling things tonight /pos and /???

[lucihoes]

So is the community in agreement that the makeshift set is just Reth's terrible attempts at carpentry or has this headcannon spiraled out of control for me?

#headcanon nonsense #palia but tangentially #but not tangentially i'm just shy about posting my thoughts in the main tag orz #i remember tish mentioning ONCE that it's based on furniture her and reth designed as kids but #the makeshift armchairs specifically implying they're ancient torture devices (re: his Path convo)? #the one planter that implies it came out of reth's trash? #i can just imagine him attempting things and tish helping to make them some semblance of useable #but given how self-depreciating he is he just threw them all into the lake or the bay or whatever because he was ashamed of them #and that's why you've been fishing them out all over #i like to think about him visiting the homestead and having to pause like #hey fancypants uh... where did you get those armchairs on your lawn? fished em out of the lake? haha! put em back! #you have to give him credit for being ambitious enough for a 76 piece furniture set though #even if he doesn't see any hope or future in his original path #tish has the skills but the makeshift set has so much charm because they worked on it together... #anyway this has been on my mind because i'm trying to gather the set + catch 1 of every fish thanks for coming to my TED talk

[takemetoa-library]

I love that some depressed people are like..... infamous artists? And then some(me) are like birds. Useless and shitty.

#self sabatoge #self deprecation #self deprecating jokes #self deprecating humor #self depreciating memes #depressing memes #depression memes #anxiety memes #ocd memes #mental illness memes #therapy memes #bpd meme #bipolar memes #gen z humor #gen z post #gen z mood #gen z thoughts #gen z shit #what is wrong with me #mental health memes #dankest memes #dank memes #only the dankest #dank humor

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

The Multiamory Podcast did an Episode (Ep.438) discussing the intersection of polyamory and aromanticism.

Explicitly polyamorous/ polyaffectionate aromantics, not asexuals!

You are all welcome to chip in/ add on through reblogs and tags and commentary!

The relevant Facebook announcement got shared into a group I happen to be in and as I commented, thanking the person for sharing it seeing as the group wasn’t aro-related at all, I got politely asked to explain how polyamory works for me as an aromantic asexual.

Keep in mind this explanation was targeted for an audience/ readership of allo-allo polyamorous people.

Also: CONTENT WARNING ⚠️

Internalised acephobia, self-depreciation, implication of sexualised abuse, mention of faithfulness

So the first thing I always say is that: disclaimer – obviously I can only talk about my personal perspective and aromantic people are very diverse, asexual people are very diverse

I just happen to be an asexual aromantic, whereas many aromantics are allosexual (meaning any sexual orientation that isn’t asexuality); seeing as this post is explicitly about the intersection of aromanticism and polyamory

I personally want a queerplatonic/ alterous life partner

That’s my personal wish, I want someone to share my life with

I consider myself polyaffectionate, seeing as I’m not “amorous” in any way shape or form

To me this means a few things

1) I practice relationship anarchy – I do not place a romantic relationship on some arbitrary pedestal, every relationship is important to me and that relationship looking like romance doesn’t mean much

For the other things I need to explain about myself first

I am a sex-averse asexual. I have had sex. I didn’t like it. I am generally sex-positive but I don’t necessarily want/ seek sex as part of any committed relationship; rather I’d avoid sex

(This following bit is self-depreciation but) Because of that I think I shouldn’t “tie down” any partner. Someone willing to be with me shouldn’t suffer for it and hence I don’t see a point in being possessive/ demanding sexual faithfulness – although the details would need to depend on the partner(s) and situation

Also due to me not making a grave distinction between “best friend” and “date friend” I just think it’s easier to call myself polyaffectionate since relationships involving me need thorough explanation anyway

I have explored through writing* what I’d like for myself and that basically always ends up that I’d like to be comfortable “sharing” my partner with pre-determined other people

I would only agree to a closed polycule, although I don’t need to be involved with everyone in it

Also I always hoped if I get that, if I get to have a queerplatonic polycule, it could be a found family and support network more than dating in the classical sense

Again, keep in mind all of this is just my personal perspective and I don’t speak for other aromantic people or other asexual people

Many asexuals are fine with/ want sex

Some aromantics are non-partnering/ would only practice solo-poly

My ideal relationship would be having one or two partners I live with, who are my family, who I can cuddle or leave to their own devices, basically a house share and we each cuddle and kiss each other as we please 🙈

—The thing is I’m aware I probably talk like someone who doesn’t value themself enough

Like, if I believed I could be enough for a partner my whole stance would be slightly different

But I have not yet made the experience that what I can offer (a sexless, queerplatonic commitment) is enough for people

I’m fully aware that mindset isn’t healthy but until someone proves I can be enough for them, well… “outsourcing” sex is easier than worrying

And if it’s a genuine relationship I’m happy for them, in any case

I wholeheartedly mean that I’d like a closed polycule and would be comfortable as described

But I also acknowledge that part of it comes from feeling inadequate/ not wanting to hold back the person(s) I love

I just know I can’t provide what – to many people – is a need

And since I know I can love more than one person at the same time I think getting to be with someone who also has other partners is my best chance… if that makes sense

As I said, I write a lot and with my latest novel-attempt* I think I found the relationship model I’d be comfortable with 🙈

* I have indeed written multiple fan fictions as well as original fiction about a self-insert character navigating relationships as I would like them to play out (setting aside the overarching plot of the individual fiction works) but seeing as I’m a pro-shipper and actually do have a writing side-blog, I don’t feel all that comfortable to just straight-up link my own writing here. Due to the here relevant works all featuring central relationships with a self-insert character, these works are also deeply personal. More so than other ship fiction I have written. I have linked these works on here before - as part of “#queerplatonic fiction” lists - but never really put “my name” (this blog’s URL) directly to them

#safeforace #safeforaro #personal #about me #about myself #multiamory podcast #aromantic polyamory #polyam aro #oriented aroace #aromantic love #aromantic self shipper #aromantic relationship #polyaffectionate #polyaffectionate aro #aro polyamory #internalised acephobia #internalised aphobia #self depreciation #self deprecating thoughts #non romantic love #non romantic #non monogamy #ethical non monogamy #aromantic non monogamy #non romantic non monogamy #sex averse #sex aversion #personal story #getting personal

[tvtunedtoadeadchannel]

#if you know me don't read this post pls #self depreciating humor #self deprecating memes #dark memes #depression #depression memes #sadness #anxiety #sad thoughts #tumblr memes

[dumbest-of-cunts]

Will things ever be fergalicious again

#funny #joking #self depreciating memes #meme #memes #self depreaction #jokes #i’m funny #fun #self deprecating thoughts #self depricating #fergalicious #early 2010s

[madfoolish]

#accept yourself you dumb ass bitch #accept yourself #garbage #life is weird #self deprecating humor #self deprecation #self depreciating memes #self depricating #self deprecating thoughts #dinosaurs #dinosaur #dino nuggets

[femme-dor]

Unfriendly Reminder that self-deprecating humor is insufferable & making your poor mental health a personality trait instead of working to improve is not cute! You’re not “coping” you’re being a clown! Grow up, disrespectfully!

#what is it with people and self depreciation #‘You don’t have to worry about somebody loving you when you don’t love yourself lmao’ #‘my ADHD won’t let me do xyz oh well lmao’ #man shut up #y’all can work on yourselves #you just don’t want to because you don’t CARE about yourselves #that’s a YOU problem pumpkin #fix that #cuz I promise no one cares for it #a word #thoughts #mental health #emotional health #healing #self care #self love #queue are so beautiful to me

[bitter-bees]

something about me is thta i loooove to start fics and never finish them

#this genuinely isnt self depreciating either i do love to do it #i write to empty thoughts fron my brain and once those thoughts are gone i no longer have to write. easy peady

[exoscreamsoda]

if only i was a fly on the supermegaplex wall

now that a day has passed and they still havent said ANYTHING (except matt’s tone deaf concert tweet), i’m imagining the most insane and chaotic fallout. i hope they rip each other to shreds. theyre literally making the situation worse the longer they wait to say anything but maybe they deserve it. they should go ahead and halt their plans to move into a new and improved supermegaplex because 95% of the patreon is ready to cancel, even patrons who only commented jokes under every post are writing their essays. i feel more disgusted as time goes on and no amount of corporate style tweets will fix this.

#as most people have already said matt is the main offender but ryan dissapointed me too #i might be willing to forgive ryan in the future depending on the response but im currently watching the dingdong and julian vod and #its clear matt is and has been super selfish #all those years they talked about how much they love the fans and blah blah better and new content soon #all that just for the magnum opus to end on the note of truck sim and podcast eps #all the time i spent stanning them and even presenting on them in school #so dissapointed rn #ive been wearing my supermega shirt for days. even before the news and i havent taken it off. idk why #i tell my self its because its comfy but maybe deep down i want to hold onto them #out of all the youtubers i watched i never thought the funny brothers would be like this #ryan was always my favorite so im trying to hold on but if his personality is true.. i feel he wont do much to save himself #im trying not to sound too parasocial but the way he beats himself up and is always self depreciating... he might just give up #all those jokes about him technically being over matt. i really want him to fire matt or something. i think ryan can do it. #although his response where he cares about his bday party was so.... ugh #supermega #supermegay #i always imagined watching them until they were in their 70s so im super sad to learn theyre like this

[hurt-myselflol]

#bpd #mental health #bpd problems #bpd recovery #bpd sucks #bpd stuff #bpd thoughts #bpd favorite person #bpd vent #bpd memes #memes #self depreciating humor #depression #depressed #bipolar #im cryin

[robinsnest2111]

crying over the fact I cannot actively make younger me's life better by being the grown up support person he would've needed when life was scary and difficult and no one had answers or was willing or able to figure out what was going on

#MY BOY DIDN'T DESERVE THIS I DIDN'T DESERVE THIS #like he should've had little to no worries and no suicidal or self depreciating thoughts!!!! #he should've been able to build his confidence with the help of older support people!!!!! #he should've been able to love himself !!!!!!! #he shouldn't have had to endure all the bullying without any support beyond a dismissive 'oh don't let it get to you they're just jealous'