a k r a s i a
my bf is dead so why can’t I be with him?
no one fucking cares about my life or my illness, but I’m a coward to end this shit
I can’t live with myself but how can I live without myself?
i have commitment issues, attachment issues, and abandonment issues.
it’s hard for me to commit to someone, but it’s also impossible for me to leave, and the whole time i’m scared they secretly hate me.
hi i just wanted to say that euphoria season 2/special episodes are p u r e a r t
like damn i wanna go back to therapy now
There is such a euphoric feeling of seeing the number on the scale get lower, I can’t seem to find anything that matches that feeling
So am I just gonna pretend like I didn’t fucked up someone I love and continue waking up everyday?
Unfortunately I do not want to be close to anyone anymore, I’m sorry.
I wanna slice up my legs because I’m so fucking fat and I keep eating like wtf
she smiled and wrapped her hands around my waist saying “oh, look at you, finally getting skinny”
i just smiled and said “thank you”
but fuck, i’m so hungry.
she said she was thankful for me, genuinely thankful to have me in her life. i don’t understand how my broken self could mean anything to anyone. one day she’ll see i’m not worth all that appreciation.
well i’m fucked. another boy is making me smile uncontrollably. the butterflies in my stomach when i think of him make me too uncomfortable. this shit makes me feel too vulnerable. fuck. i’m fucked.
Loss of life
I am too tired
To write like fairies
A masterpiece of identity
Before I die
I guess its not that great
Just like my life
A could have been
All the great things in my head
I wish of many things
Like taking a faster death pill
And of many regrets
Of not dying before this awful poem
It’s time I bid farewell
In the least artistic way
Maybe I wasn’t born creative
Or the creative left me cold.
She was a passenger in a rocket ship that was destined for the moon, knowing that once she arrived the diamond-flame of its beauty would be enough to captivate her; Mind- Body- and soul.
What she didn’t contemplate was the pilot being hell bent on rescindment
She spiralled back towards the earth, it was only then when she realized she wasn’t a passenger at all.
She was the pilot on a one way ship to self destruction.
(photo credits: S. Phillips)
in love with a girl who could never love me.
Self love and self respect are two things i’ve never done in my life and deep down i know that would’ve saved me from alot of shit.