𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞: 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐮𝐭𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞.
if you’re reading this…
you’re breathing. you’re alive. that in itself is already a miracle… i’m so proud of you. you’ve made it this far already — how awesome is that? the fact that you’re seeing this post, alive and breathing, already means so much more to someone who loves you.
i can’t say that i understand how exactly you’re feeling right now, but i do know that you’re strong, you’ve hurdled and gone through all the obstacles in your life so far, and you’ll do it again! you’ve done so much more than you think you can, and you’ve stretched your comfort zone to horizons you never thought you’d reach. nothing is impossible, so believe in yourself, alright?
you are amazing. 100% wonderfully made, believed in, loved, reassured, listened to, cared for, and more. you are not alone in this. you do not have to be alone in this. we are here, walking with you, and cheering you on from the sidelines as we watch you run the last lap. you got this. i know you got this! you’re so, so, so, heckingly strong. i know you got this.
you are not alone. you do not have to be alone. i’m here for you, and others are as well. mega loves and hugs… my dms are always open if you want a listening ear, or just someone to talk to. you can do this, i believe in you, you got this.
cheering you on,
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There’s power in the written word. Whenever you write something down, especially with emotions, you set a powerful intention, and you send it out to the Universe. That’s why scripting and writing down your goals is so important. You can get anything you want, but you have to show the Universe a blueprint of your desired reality.
Get creative. Write down how your perfect life should look like. Use the present tense and emphasize every positive emotion. Include as many details as you can. Think about it as writing a story about yourself. You’re the main character, you’re the hero of the story. You’re also the author, and you’re trying to provide your reader, the Universe, with the most beautiful, vivid story you can conjure.
Words are vibrations. Written words have power. You’re not being delusional. You’re creating your perfect life through the power of intentions, concentrated focus, and your emotions which create your energy. Have fun with scripting and feel like your script is already a part of your reality. It’s such a powerful technique for consciously designing your future. Become the author of your own story and create the life of your dreams.
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I try to develop some of my skills more and one of them is "tolerance to change".
So i came up with an idea/method for this and that's "do 15-20 different tasks every day".
It's the first day and i think I'm reaching new levels of productivity here. I don't have a set list of tasks. Just some suggestions or things which i should take care of these days.
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This is a collaborative piece I worked on with my talented friend. Do check out her Instagram blog - @shriyaspeaks
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ
“I wish I had clear skin like them”
“I wish I had smooth hair like them”
“I wish I had abs like them”
“I wish I had their height”
“I wish I had their talent”
“I wish I had their sense of humor”
“I wish I was as smart as them”
“I wish I was as outgoing as them”
It’s easy to read or hear other people tell you to love yourself and embrace your flaws, but it’s a lot harder to actually practice self-love. With the ever-changing beauty standards portrayed by social media, it’s easy to fall prey to becoming our biggest critic.
Self-love is an ever-evolving process, not an overnight fix. Firstly, you need to accept the fact that you are unique.
Everyone has flaws - it’s natural! Your strengths and weakness only make you more human. Think about your positives and smile because not everyone has the same qualities as you! Be kind to yourself.
Your words are capable of hurting you just as much as they can hurt the people you love. So forgive yourself when you mess up. It’s okay!
Learn to say No. Sometimes, it’s not us, but the people we surround ourselves with that prevent us from loving ourselves. If you ever find yourself in a situation that requires you to compromise your sense of self-worth, you need to leave. Saying no does not make you a selfish person. If the people around you are the reason you’re so unhappy, they’re probably not worth being around anyway.
Finally, your worth is not based on your appearance, other people’s opinions, your accomplishments, or your mistakes. It isn’t based on ANYTHING because you are worthy no matter what.
♡♡♡You are loved♡♡♡
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ
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444 You are more than what people think. Free yourself from the limiting beliefs of others 444
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be proud of all of your small victories. you only snoozed your alarm twice today instead seven times. you changed out of pyjamas and into actual clothes. you found a new song that makes you want to dance. you smiled at a stranger and they smiled back. life doesn’t have to be all about getting first place every time or always being the best. a win is still a win, no matter how small.
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Be that woman who is always learning and overachieving.
Be that woman who uses SPF50 even in winter because she has done her research on skincare and the importance of taking care of her skin all-year round.
Be that woman who looks polished to the nines for any occasion, simply because every day is an occasion to celebrate her divine femininity.
Be that woman who wears her pearls, silky robes and perfume even at home and doesn’t need a special occasion to enjoy luxury.
Be that woman who chooses her own wellbeing, her own selfcare, her own mental health, above all (because nobody gets a medal for being a doormat and sacrificing their life for another).
Be that woman who takes great care of her skin, body and hair by educating herself and investing in the best products for her - even before she's 40, or 30, even before any skin conditions appear forcing her to take better care.
Be that woman who is so incredibly brave to step outside her comfort zone and continuously challenge herself to become a better person, a kinder person; to do more, to achieve more, to be more.
Be that woman who whenever she hits rock bottom, she mourns her losses, but next day is reborn from the ashes like a phoenix, ready to conquer the world again, because the only direction she is moving towards is forward.
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All the pain you’re feeling as a result of a traumatic event (or any experience that has had a great impact on you emotionally) can only be released and let go of when it is recognized and given space. Suppressing it and keeping it inside may feel like a solution, but as you’re denying it you’re also holding onto it. I know that it’s extremely difficult, but to let go you need to feel.
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🕊16 days of Shadow Work
✨ Here are the prompts as I promised! They are timeless, whenever they find you, feel free to use them.
Feel free to share your thoughts with me!!
✧ Day 1
What do I need to stop running away from? Why am I always running away from this and what is going to happen if I face it head-on?
✧ Day 2
What is my definition of failure? What’s something that I have previously failed at and how did it make me feel? How can I deal with failure in a healthy way?
✧ Day 3
How do I lie to myself everyday? Why am I doing this and what am I trying to avoid?
✧ Day 4
If I could say one thing to the person who hurt me the most, what would it be and why? How would I feel afterwards?
✧ Day 5
What is a grudge I am holding onto? Why do I choose to hold onto this weight? What can I do to let it go?
✧ Day 6
What can I do to accept myself more? How can I be more comfortable in my own body?
✧ Day 7
What negative emotions am I most comfortable feeling? How often and why do these emotions show up?
✧ Day 8
What unhealthy attachments (people, things, feelings, habits..) do I hold onto? What fears do I have around ending these attachements? What do I gain by ending these attachments?
✧ Day 9
What emotion do I try to avoid? What makes me so afraid to feel it?
✧ Day 10
How does the feeling of envy show up in my life? Where does it come from? How would I feel if I obtained the things I am envious of?
✧ Day 11
What do I do that holds me back the most in my life? Where does this fear/habit/mindset come from? How can I move forward?
✧ Day 12
How have I internalised my parents’ judgement? How do I free myself from it?
✧ Day 13
What emotions do I rarely express infront of others? Why am I hiding these emotions? What would happen if I started expressing these emotions more?
✧ Day 14
Am I okay with the fact that not everyone will like me? Why or why not? How does this make me feel?
✧ Day 15
What relationships and friendships do I have that are unhealthy? How would my life improve/change if I let them go?
✧ Day 16
What do I need to let go of the most right now? Why haven't I already done it? What is stopping me?
Check out my instagram @pandorasvisions for more predictions, tarot and channeled messages!
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♥︎ reminder: there is no need to be perfect 100% of the time.
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BOUNCE BACK IN SILENCE CHALLENGE
hello beautiful queens, since we only have a few days until 2021 I want to tell you about a challenge that I’ve been doing for a bit now.
i’ve been beating myself up because of loneliness, lack of motivation etc. while in quarantine but i’m now realizing that this time alone is actually meant to be a blessing, a period where we beauties can finally accomplish things we said we would do but never came around to it. 🦋 here are some steps. reblog and add some more if you’d like 😇
1. get off social media. you’ve heard it before, you’re hearing it again. even a few days of taking a break can do wonders for your mental health. i’ve been realizing that the reason why my confidence was constantly lowering was because of comparing myself to the unrealistic standards of social media. taking a few days off to remind yourself that you’re THAT BITCH, that you deserve the whole world and that you are an ICON LIVING is soooo worth not checking what he posted on is story.
use the hours you save from social media to realize your dreams. get on that grind. get that bread, raise them grades. when you think about it, you don’t even remember half the shit you see on social media, it’s a mindless way to waste such valuable time.
2. take care of your health. stop skipping brushing your teeth. get your ass up and get those teeth SHINING. whiter than the people at a republican voting poll. whiter than donald trump’s ass. you get the drill.
wash your face. try new skincare remedies and products. figure out your skin undertone, type, what works for you etc. and arrange your beauty routine to fit that. slather on the products that you bought and saved for ‘special days’. get you a nice moisturizer that makes you feel like mf bella hadid.
3. stop with the excuses and start working for your dream body. the only person standing between you and that SNATCHEDDD bod is, guess what, YOU GIRL! you are so much more powerful than you think you are, once you realize that you CAN be one of those girls that wake up early to work out, that can CHUG that gallon of water like it ain’t nun, that can RUN that mile your potential is endless. get up and get sweaty. put in the work and the universe will put out the results.
4. get in tune. start a manifesting journal if you don’t have one already. start a daily journal to write down in every detail what you’ve done and how you’re feeling. i did this for 365 days last year when I was abroad and reading it takes me back so vividly, probably the best decision i’ve ever made.
try spells, try reading horoscope charts, try using crystals and tarot. i’m an econ major that has no religious beliefs but experimenting with spiritual, sacred objects brings me joy. i feel like i’m peeking into a part of our earth that only a select few are aware of. that’s why girls like me can find meaning and hope in the smallest things whereas old white men who think they’re too scientific for these things die early. 😋 lol.
make your house/room your sanctuary. love the space you live in.
add a little bit of SPICE ✨ to your life. romanticize making that 1 minute pack of noodles. stare out of your window as if you were lana del rey. if we didn’t have those moments, what would life even be about? reclaim your power and bounce back. a few months of consistent effort and you will be a new girl.
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You can establish a new frequency. You can become a vibrational match to beautiful experiences. You can completely redefine yourself. Create a new you at a vibrational level, and the Universe will follow.
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How to love everything in your life
This is a twin post for Why discipline is toxic.
Let's start with your environment.
Credit to Marie Kondo because most things here are from her book. (a summary here but i suggest people to read the manga or watch her show for more details)
Don't clean just to clean. Clean for your self. Why do you want to live in a clean environment? Be very specific. (Wanting to feel less stressed, wanting to feel organized, wanting to be surrendered by things you love etc)
When you clean, remember why you do it. You do it out of love for your own person because you want to feel comfy in a clean space. (Or any other reason) Just don't think you have to clean for the sake of cleaning. There are so many reasons why living in a clean space can be great.
Look at your things and remember why you like them. Kondo suggested keeping around things which "spark joy". The thing is, when you do this, you feel happier because you like everything. Suddenly folding clothes is nice, moving books to their place is nice, keeping papers only in a certain spot brings happiness etc.
Don't think of this as a chore but as an activity to relax. Folding clothes is origami, doing the dishes can be avatar water bending style, cleaning cupboards can be a puzzle for organization etc.
Walks can be intimidating when you're alone but...
Try looking for a nice place in your city. Try finding beauty in a common spot. Try looking at things like you're a tourist fascinated by everything. Or an alien, that works too.
Look at the nature. The sky is always different yet beautiful. The sunlight is delightful, especially in the morning. Doesn't the grass look enchanting and makes you want to have a picnic? When you see the same things daily, it's difficult to see them as something special every day. Try learning that.
Walks are good for your body. You walk around to relax. It's an act of love for yourself.
What's something you like about that activity/task? Find something, anything. Maybe you like how fast you can type and look at it as a game while you write emails. Maybe think how pretty food looks when you have to cook. (Anime moodboards help a lot with this) Perhaps you like the happiness people display when you help them with your job.
Try thinking it's an important task and how would you teach someone to do it. Everything is worth teaching and sharing knowledge seems to be a love language many have.
Maybe you don't like the task in any way, how about the feeling you have when it's done? Or the activities you can do after you're done? Think of the pleasure you have once the task is done if the task itself is so unlovable.
Worth mentioning, think of the concept of everything having a spirit. (this way of thinking is popular in witchcraft and Shintoism) won't you enjoy thinking the fairy next to the pile of dishes will he happy they're clean? Maybe it likes the dish soap's scent. Your imagination/perspective can make a task fun.
When you dislike someone, write a list with what you dislike about them. Then write another list with tasks you love/like. Try to make the like list as long as the disliked traits list.
For your friends, ask yourself why you like them? Is it the way they listen to you when you need? Is it the silly sense of humour they got? Is it their optimism? Bonus points if you tell them your every once in a while why they're important to you.
Write a like/love letter. Not in a romantic way but in an appreciation way. No need to give it to them. Just write it to see what makes these people special in your eyes.
Strangers, try to think they are undiscovered treasures. You can always learn something from anyone. You don't have to talk to new people, but this way of thinking will make you seem more invested in what they have to say.
You can write yourself love letters~ really, when was last time you took time to appreciate your own beauty?
Avoid criticism to your own person. Yes, you can make mistakes. No, you shouldn't be cruel because of the mistakes.
Do daily something that makes you happy.
How to actively make you happy
You can find love in everything and everyone. There's always something to appreciate in people and there are always certain emotions which are triggered by things or concepts. (The smile of your friend, the fluffy fur of the pet, the pretty decoration of a cake, the softness of your blouse etc) Just pay attention around you.
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I am a sacred space, a sacred space for myself and others. People feel protected around me and I give them their space to be completely themselves. I’m a person you can talk to if needing healing, needing a friend, and just being there for one another. I am a healer, I am a safe space.
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Things I want to tell women as a woman
I struggled for a long time to consider myself as a woman and not a girl because we just call each other girls despite our age. As if being a woman is old and sad? But boys can't wait to become men. Or you have to shoulder great responsibility like marriage and children to qualify? I don't know what it is that signifies that transition from girl to woman but I think it's important to see that as a beautiful and powerful and desirable change.
You don't become cool if you say you're not a feminist because you like boys. Educate yourself, please. A good starting place is the two Ted talks by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. And also her book 'A feminist manifesto in fifteen suggestions.' It was originally an email she wrote to her friend who had just given birth to a girl and asked Chimamanda how she should raise her as a feminist in this world.
You don't need to be sweet and selfless and pretty and kind and nurturing at all times. I mean at the base of it yes because all humans being should be. But like society and media has always made us think that that is the desirable girl. Lol desirable woman. The good woman. Watch Yi Seo in Itaewon Class. Ko Moon Young in It's Okay To Not Be Okay. Byun Hye Young in My Father's Strange. Learn from them. How to stand your ground. How to not let society place you in a helpless position. How to fight back. How to be rude and fierce when it is to protect yourself or those you care about and not feel one bit guilty.
Money is the way people control you. Have your own money. Save it. Figure out investing at some stage. Don't rely on your parents, partner, brother, whoever to do that for you. You don't need to be good at math or business. It's not about that at all. It's about knowing your value, making sure you're reaping the benefits at work and ensuring that you aren't just spending all your money on stupid shit and making unnecessary decisions. You will learn only by making mistakes. God knows I still am. But money will always mean power. And as a woman you need a lot of that in this world.
Surround yourself with women who have found a way to be who they are. How will you know who they are? They just have that aura. You can't miss it. No, they don't always wear a power suit and hustle. And no, they don't write self help books. They are women in your life. They do whatever they do because it's their decision and thats why they always look so content and joyous. I get that sometimes you don't have that choice. Like irl I really am not able to meet such women. So then I turn to writers and my mom and her friends and the vice president at my company and artists. I don't have to be BFFs with any of them. I just have to observe them and take in the good and learn. Reach out when I need to. And stumble and stumble and stumble.
Don't ever give up your life for a man. That's literally the worst thing you can do as a woman. That's a quote from the kdrama The Package that I can never get out of my head.
Emotional stability is critical. People will play you and they will be shameless and they will do it all again. You cannot seek validation or your worth from their actions and words. You cannot rely on them. It would be nice to but you can't. Even if you lose everything else, don't lose your emotional stability and the belief in yourself.
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Hi dolls, as 2021 quickly approaches, I’ve begun my annual new year planning. 2020 threw curveballs none of us could’ve expected but I’m grateful to have made it through it all in good health. In years past, I’ve always set resolutions and goals going into the new year but this year I wanted to take it a step further and walk into 2021 with a little more intention and planning. Here are a few things I’m doing to prepare myself.
1. I like to start this process by showing gratitude. Though 2020 was undoubtedly tough, I still think we can all find little pockets of happiness and blessings to be grateful for. I like to create a list in one of my journals detailing all of the highlights of my year. Naturally, 2019’s list was much more exciting but I still managed to throw a few things together. Write your list and express gratitude even if it’s just the small things. You can also take this time to reflect on some things you may have wanted to do a little better and how that can look going forward in 2021.
2. For 2021, I want to try something very different. Since I was a child, I would create New Year’s resolutions and goals that I wanted to reach for the new year. This often looked like traveling to x amount of countries, working out, gaining x amount of pounds, getting better grades, etc but it’s estimated that only 8% of people actually stick to their resolutions, and 2020 hardly even gave people the chance to try. So going into 2021, I’m shortening a usually very long goals and resolutions list and adding a list of commandments. Within these, I may include small details about how I can go about living within each commandment.
Example: Instead of saying that I will date xxx amount of wealthy men in 2021, my commandment instead looks like:
I will only entertain wealthy men that value me when and if I do decide to date.
Other commandment examples look like:
a. Be kind to those around you.
b. Don’t argue and don’t debate with others when unnecessary. (I actually have this problem lol. Should’ve studied law)
c. No casual sex
The commandments feel more like small corrections to my behavior and lifestyle and hold a lot less pressure. I will be creating a majority of my goals on a monthly and/or quarterly basis, and this way, I feel as if I’m more likely to follow through. I’ll be creating goals from where I’m at instead of where I hope to be. I think trying to set goals for an entire year all at once is unrealistic and that’s why so many people fail at keeping them. So rather than setting these broad goals for myself for 2021, I am instead setting standards and rules by which I want to abide in my everyday life that will inadvertently help me achieve my goals. Later this month, closer to the New Year, I’ll start my January & Q1 goals.
Note: Remember to be incredibly specific when creating goals. They should be measurable, achievable and should include a time measurement.
3. Building a vision board. Based on #2, my vision board won’t be a vision board full of goals and that’s ok for me because I’ll be creating many digital vision boards throughout the year as I do form my goals. If you decide to try out my method in #1 then your vision board can include pictures that represent what you want your life to look like in the next year. Think, a vision board that represents a lifestyle more so than your individual resolutions.
Example: If one of your commandments states that you should be open to more experiences then your board may include a picture of a cool dining experience. Another alternative is a collection of pictures that inspire you or fit your “aesthetic”. There are some goals that’ll remain constant so my vision board for my life regardless of the year so my 2021 vision board will reflect that.
- My vision board includes women I admire, confident women, high maintenance women, beauty products, historically glamorous women like Zsa Zsa Gabor and Eartha Kitt, outfits and style I want to emulate, affirmations, my favorite foods, healthy foods, interiors, and other pics that match my current and desired aesthetic.
(2 of 10 pages of my mood board)
- I created mine on Keynote on my laptop, put it in ‘View’ mode when it was complete, and then and took screenshots. I moved those screenshots into my notes (connected to my iCloud) so that I always have access to them. Whenever I need a motivation boost, I glance at my vision board.
4. Cleanse and organize. I like to start the new year on as much of a clean slate as I can so weeks prior to January 1st, I like to begin my deep cleaning and organizing. Here are my suggestions:
a. Clean out your closet and donate what no longer matches the look you may want go for in the new year.
b. Reorganize and organize your closets and drawers. Fold your undies sis.
c. Do you really need all of those lotions? Have they expired? If you haven’t in a while, go through your skincare, makeup, bath, and hair products to see if they’re worth holding on to. Discard what’s expired and give away what you just might not like or didn’t work for you.
d. If you’re in school and you’re anything like I was then you probably have entirely too many documents saved on your computer just hanging out in that downloads folder. If you don’t need a document anymore throw them away. Clear away all of the files that live on your desktop for no reason too. Organize the files you do need into folders so that they’re easier to find. If you have a Google Drive do the same.
e. Delete contacts you no longer need or use
f. Delete the hundreds of pictures you might’ve accumulated this year. You probably no longer need them.
g. Back up your laptop if you haven’t in a while.
5. My Looks. This is a category that I am always working on so it usually always makes it to my New Year prep list in some shape or form. This year my list looks something like this.
a. What investments pieces do I want to add to my wardrobe this year?
b. What staple pieces should I be adding to my wardrobe this year?
c. What treatments or procedures am I looking to get this year?
d. Do I plan on trying something new with my hair this year (what wigs do I need & costs, do I want to start going to salons (do research on where you’d want to go), do I want to try color? etc.)
e. Is there anything else regarding my looks that I want to address this year? How can I do that? What do I need?
6. The Finances $$$. I’m starting a new job in January so I’ll be replanning my finances for the next year but even if you aren’t I think this step is still useful. Here’s what my financial planning for the new year looks like:
a. New monthly budgets
b. Research on new stocks to invest in for 2021. This research is based on the Biden presidency and what I predict will boom during his term.
c. Beauty & Maintenance Investments. What treatments (fillers, chemical peels, etc.) do I want and how much will they cost? How often do I want to get my nails and toes, hair etc. done? How much do I need to budget for that?
d. Are there any personal projects I’m already planning that will require an investment?
e. Savings plans and goals
I hope you dolls found this post helpful and I’m wishing all the blessings and luck on to all of you! May we all have a prosperous New Year and Happy Holidays 🎄🎅🏾!
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apply for the job even if you're confident you aren't going to get it. submit that scholarship application even if you think there a hundreds of other people who are more deserving than you because you will never know what you are capable of until you try. you didn't get the job? you didn't get the scholarship? then figure out why. was it because you're unqualified or didn't have enough extra-curriculars? if you don't get the ideal results, make the effort to figure out why and use that as guidance to achieve it next time. don't be afraid to fail - it's a clear representation of where you are and how you can improve.
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The only people that get upset at you having boundaries and standards, are those that benefit from you having none.
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