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theambitiouswoman · 8 months

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How Childhood Trauma Can Show Up In Adulthood

Childhood trauma can have a deep and lasting impact on your development, some scenarios we would not even consider to be " trauma" but it comes down to how you as a child perceived the situation. To add to that, you could have had a great childhood factually, or by your understanding, because it is all you knew. I’ll give you an example, do you find yourself putting everyone else before you? Maybe when you were little you had an experience with a parent where they put someone else before you in a situation that was significant to you at the time, and that feeling got registered in your subconscious. Maybe you got rewarded for the experience or reprimanded. It could have been very harmless. You may not even remember unless you start to think about it. None the less the root of a lot of our triggers, habits and insecurities boil down to our childhood experiences, that stay buried in our subconscious and often manifesting in various ways during adulthood.

You have a have a hard time controlling your feelings. You might get super angry or not feel anything at all.

You are scared to fail.

You blame yourself for your mistakes and bad choices from your past and have a hard time forgiving yourself.

You worry about what other people think about you or in general and may feel scared a lot.

You are too clingy or too distant and cant find a balance.

You don't trust yourself to make decisions and need constant validation or someone else to make decisions for you.

You feel really sad and down most of the time.

You suffer from negative self talk, are very hard on yourself and really believe those things to be true.

You constantly criticize others.

You need external validation to feel accepted.

You are always anxious.

You are hypersensitive to criticism.

You are terrified of change.

You find it hard to take compliments and truly believe you are not worthy.

You find it hard to keep good relationships because you're scared of getting hurt and feel like you cant get close to others.

You try to be perfect and want to do everything perfectly because you think it will help avoid bad things from happening.

You might eat too much or too little because you are feeling bad or want to control things.

You can't stop thinking about bad stuff that happened before and might have nightmares or feel like they're living it again.

You may feel like they're not really in their body or like things around them aren't real because of what happened in the past.

You avoid things because they remind you of bad stuff that happened.

Sometimes people stay away from things that remind them of bad stuff that happened.

You might have more health problems like headaches or stomachaches.

You do things that hurt you or others, and you don't even realize it because you learned it from when you were young.

You might work extra hard to be successful because you want others to like you or because you don't feel good about yourself.

You rather be alone because you feel embarrassed or worried about what others think.

You try really hard to control everything in your life.

You water yourself down and put everyone else before you.

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im-thea · 8 days

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Gentle glow up

Focusing on peace, experiencing life, nurturing yourself, doing what you love and caring for people you love. It’s quality over quantity, and happiness over achievement.

I want to improve myself, but I deeply value peace, calmness and slow life. I have tried, but I’m burning out on any kind of grind. That is why I have been creating this system of gentle glow up to have both improvements and relaxation.

Some people may believe you can only improve with hard, enduring work, but I believe you need to find what works for you personally. That is what works for me.

I want to share some of the principles of how to gently glow up:

Self-care is a priority (both physical and mental self-care)

Living regardless of external expectations and standards

Slow life, no rushing

Spending time on things that matter to you

No grind, but gentle progress (it may not be as fast, but you get to live a little, you know)

I’m personally against nonchalant attitude towards others (you need people you care about, really)

For most of the points, you’ll need a lot of self-reflection and reflection in general

A happy heart makes a pretty and successful person, I believe.

I will be making posts on the things I found important for this kind of glow up. Examples:

Slow life and how it helps with happiness and being true to yourself

Detaching from other’s expectations, FOMO, the need to rush and do more

Following your interests, not trends

Working smart, not hard

Harsh boundaries so you can keep being soft

Reasons to not be that person who “only cares about themselves” and “puts themselves first” to an unhealthy degree

Stop being unconsciously tense or agitated

Relaxing practices

Planning in a way that doesn’t feel restrictive

So follow, if you are interested or feel like your heart longs for something like this!

#glow up #it girl #self development #growth #self improvement #dream self #dream life #that girl #self helf #level up #gentle glow up #self healing #healing #self love #self care

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rainbowsnsunnies · 1 year

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i quit (ranting of an adhd adult in the 'normal' world)

DISCLAIMER - I HAVE NOT BEEN CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED WITH ADHD (I NEVER SAW A PROFESSIONAL BECAUSE I LIVE IN A SOCIETY WHERE SEEKING MENTAL HELP IS LOOKED DOWN UPON AND I CAN'T HELP IT). I PLAN TO SEE A DOCTOR WHEN I MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY (WHICH IS GOING TO BE IN 9 MONTHS). BUT I HAVE SO FAR, RELATED TO ALL THE SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF ADHD, SO THERE'S THAT.

i have decided i'm quitting the depressing world of forced productivity and capitalist consumerism.

i have decided i'm quitting the saddening world of being 'relevant'

i have decided i'm quitting the digital world of subliminal slavery to 'self-help' youtubers selling 'productivity' tools that will make me my 'best' self

i'm done with my platforms telling me i'm not good enough, i'm not doing enough, i'm not consistent enough.

i embrace my learning skills in ways that are seemingly uncommon, i embrace my empathy towards the world and towards myself, i embrace me for all that i am.

endless planning for productivity and spending my savings on these apparently self-help tools have only made me more and more anxious. i was a straight A student in my early and high school years but in my undergraduate i dipped and do not ask about my mental health as a postgraduate student. i was doing just fine, more than fine actually, when i wasn't trying to 'fix' myself and 'improve' myself. i learnt so many skills, exceled academically, maintained good relationships and just had top mental health.

but i entered uni and then i entered the youtube era of productivity and self help and 'time management' and i have been hitting new lows every 6 month. as an adhd person, my life really was better when i didn't succumb to the pressure of the 'normal'' influencers to do more, and be my "best" version.

i'm still going to continue striving for my goals and my dream life, but in ways that serve me and make me better. they look nothing like what i see on productivity spaces online. my learning days look like studying for 15 hours straight and then taking 6 days off and then doing it again. is it the best way to learn? HELL NO. does it work for me? HELL YES. the information i learn in those 10 hours stays with me for the next 6 years. i can retain information better when i'm deep focussing. i always thought i was wasting those 6 days, but i m not. there are things like hobbies, and 'fixation' passions and i like those things about me. they teach me so many new things. i'm done trying to quit being myself, my authentic self. i'm going to own myself.

this is not a hate note for anyone. this is more of a frustrated rant of me trying to fix what isn't even broken. i know i live in a world where if i'm not following the rat race, i'm left behind but i have my own ways and i will work with those and i'm sure i'll make it out just fine. at least better than how i currently am. for someone who made productivity their whole aesthetic, you can imagine how truly damaged and broken i must've gotten to be here, writing this note.

there is nothing wrong with being the way i am. i will find my way to blend in this world. i do not have to follow youtube productivity systems to get where i want to.

if you've read this far and you're struggling with all this too, here are a few youtube videos that helped me break the chains that were holding me behind. these videos really did set my mind free in ways i cannot explain. check them out if you want :)

youtube

#adhd #adhd studyblr #adhd thoughts #living with adhd #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #adhd feels #studyblr #toxic productivity #adhd productivity #toxic positivity #self helf #Youtube

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fake-elizabeth-bennet · 1 year

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Self help books are not my cup of tea. I don't need self help. I need God's help. Only divine intervention can save me now.

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findthedi0r · 1 year

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nice things to do for yourself:

cook a meal that reminds you of anything that brings a smile to your face

go to a yoga, workout or bootcamp class to show yourself how strong you are

start volunteering to make yourself feel better about your contributions to the world

move your body: dance, skip, run, walk, trot, jump just do something to remind yourself of what you can control

stop putting so much pressure on yourself, enjoy the little things and allow yourself time to rest

buy yourself some flowers and throw them in the tub after you’ve had them in your room for a few days to give yourself the treatment you deserve

spend time with your loved ones or animals and stay in the moment to really experience the unconditional love you have surrounding you

commit to one attainable goal for yourself to prove you can keep promises and make yourself a priority

keep reading and exploring new texts, the more you learn the more you continue to get inspired. new knowledges births new ideas allow yourself a break from what you already know

allow yourself to have fun. the work gets exhausting just let yourself play whenever you find the opportunity

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rosealiceroyal · 8 months

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Percy found out he had a soulmate that wasn’t Annabeth before the Giant War even started. It was terrible because having a soulmate hurt, literally. When Hera and Aphrodite agreed on a love match the pair got the so-called perk of sharing a pain link. Percy mostly ignores it until one day he thinks his soulmate must be being tortured. It turns out the truth is a lot more heartbreaking.

Prompts: Regret/Can I trust you?/Soulmate Feeling

Trigger Warning: Self-Harm and Torture. I'm not joking around about that, so if those things are triggering for you, please beware.

Language: English Words: 6,230 Chapters: 1/1 Collections: 1 Comments: 11 Kudos: 426 Bookmarks: 36 Hits: 3,985

#percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #percico #soulmate au #pain-link #nico di angelo #percy jackson #annebeth chase #jason grace #hazel lavesque #piper mclean #will solace #thalia grace #angst #self helf #torture

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shitty-mechs-headcannons · 1 year

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Hi im here to cause pain :)

Brian cannot feel. You know with metal... everything? Carmilla didnt care enough to put nerve endings into all that metal. He never aches, never feels warmth or cold, or pleasure, he only registers pressure in his fingertips when he plays instruments, that was the only courtesy hiven to him.

At first he often tried to touch everything he could - octokittens' soft fur, other's warm skin, and when he could feel nothing - he resorted to hurting himself. But still, there was nothing. His life without any kind of sensation is constant reminder of how he lost all feeling, frozen and floating through the void.

Sometimes he swears he can feel his heart ache - but he can never be sure.

And he never understood before how Jonny lost his heart, but now he thinks he gets it, because grieving his lost life breaks his own every day.

:))))

TINA, FUCKING OW!!!!! HOW COULD YOU!!!!!

#caps cw #caps #shitty mechs hc #the mechanisms #drumbot brian #angst #self helf #doctor carmilla

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eudaimon-h · 7 months

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Behtar tha ki mujhse door rehkar dushmani krlete yeh mujhe rehkar hi mujhe maar dene ka shauq bht khaufnaak tha

Isko thoda sa explain krein

It would have been better if you had stayed away from me and hated me.

Your desire to kill me while staying inside me was very terrifying.

You betrayed my trust and love, and hurt me deeply.

You did not care about my feelings or my life.

You only wanted to destroy me and make me suffer.

You were not a friend, but an enemy in disguise.

The pain of betrayal is unbearable. Someone who was supposed to love, care, and protect you has turned out to be your worst enemy. Someone who was supposed to be your partner in life has left you alone and shattered. Someone who was supposed to be your source of happiness has caused you nothing but misery. You have been cheated, lied to, and hurt by the person you trusted the most. You have been robbed of your dignity, your self-esteem, and your peace of mind. You have been thrown into a pit of despair, where there is no light, no hope, no escape.

> You might wonder why this happened to you. Why did you deserve this? What did you do wrong? How could you be so blind? How could you be so foolish? How could you be so unlucky? You might blame yourself for everything, for not seeing the signs, for not listening to your intuition, for not being enough. You might think that you are the problem, that you are the cause, that you are the curse. You might think that this is your fate, that this is your punishment.

>This wound will either fester or heal. This loss will either end your life or begin a new one. You can’t escape these thoughts, feelings and words. They haunt you, hurt you and label you. You are the problem, and they were the cause and the curse.You are a human being, who has been abused by another human being. You are a victim, who has been wounded by a perpetrator. You are a survivor, who has suffered a trauma. And as a survivor, you have no choice. And trust me this was the strongest slap that you will ever recieve in life because traumas make great people.This experience will either destroy you or change you.

> It won't be easy. It won't be quick. It won't be painless. But it will be worth it. Because you are worth it. Because you deserve better. Because you have more to offer. Because you have more to live for. Because you have more to love for. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on your dreams. Don't give up on your happiness. Don't give up on your future. Don't give up on your life.

> This is my message to you: **You are not alone**. There are many people who care about you, who support you, who believe in you. There are many people who have gone through what you have gone through, who have felt what you have felt, who have learned what you have learned. They are your allies, your mentors, your friends. They are here to help you, to guide you, to inspire you.

They are here to show you that **you are a warrior**.

You planted a seed of hate in my heart, and watered it with your lies. You hoped to see me wilt and die, but you only made me grow and thrive.You stabbed me in the heart with your words, and twisted the knife with your actions. You wished to see me bleed and cry, but you only made me heal and smile. ❤‍🩹

#self helf #my writing #dark academia #thoughts #❤

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arisingsun · 1 year

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You have a limited life , don't waste your time regretting or being sad about something. Get up , take a cup of tea and start working for *your * dreams . You are responsible for your own happiness.

#self improvement #self love #inspiration #self help #self care #motivation #dreams #action #happiness #life is limited #live life #life #quotes #happy #time #self worth #self healing #self helf #dream

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atimesksquared · 3 months

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The Perpetual Bridge You may have started Somewhere. You may be headed Somewhere. You may or may not Be headed there For real But it is your intention To get there. Preoccupied you are By where You come from and Where you’re going. And yet, Where you are, Is where you are. And where you are Is on the bridge. And this bridge Is perpetual For as long As you’re alive. Your life here Is every moment Of you driving On this bridge. It’s a bridge That connects Moments. This is the present Moment. This is your reality. You’re on the bridge. The only question That matters? “How is the drive?” *****

#selfhelp #self healing #self discovery #self transformation #self helf #self help #overthink #overthinking #philosophy #life quotes #motivating quotes #spirituality #existentialism

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onyxtides · 2 years

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Journal update! The font has been changed and bottom graphics have been updated! I just submitted this to Llewelyn and Red Feather publishing, but you can still buy the digital copy via my Etsy shop : HollowedPumpkin! If you want this in a physical copy message directly, I can see about making a physical copy for you.

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artandlo · 2 years

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If you needed to hear this! I believe in you!

#Itadori #itadori yuuji #anime #manga #Jujutsu Kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fanart #self helf #slef love #mangaka #brave #inspiredaily #inspiration #fight

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lostlegendaerie · 10 months

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local man totally forgets how to write, despite intermittently publishing advice on how to write, more at eleven

#writing #self helf #.... self help #leaving the typo bc it's funny #those who can't do teach etc.#also it's probably just the incredible burnout I continue to experience as I come down from performing in four concerts in two weeks #and my job absolutely IMPLODING on Friday

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kosmosxstargirl · 11 months

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trust the process 🤍

#note to self #new poets society #poem #poets on tumblr #quotes #literature #self helf #self healing #healing

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andreapamelahs · 11 months

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from my new favorite photographic book/journal: "things you wanted to say but never did" by geloy concepcion (you can find more about his job at his instagram acc) ❤️‍🩹

#journal #book #things you wanted to say but never did #self healing #self helf #motivation #you are not alone #photography

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uncaged-unchained-unbroken · 1 year

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The thing is, no child in the world is born thinking "I am bad". No child is born with ability to hate themselves.

It's something you learn. From people who's opinion matters to you, who you believe no questions asked.

Some learn it from their parent. Some - from grandparent. Older siblings, teachers, pastors, any person you trust more than you trust yourself.

You hear that person say negative thing about you, and, in your head, you transform their voice into your own. In psychology this process is called internalisation.

The path to healing is through undoing that internalisation.

Next time you think something negative about yourself, take a piece of paper and write that thought down. Close your eyes, empty your mind. Open your eyes and silently read these words. Focus. Who's voice you hear saying those words? Who's face you see?

Pick a chair or any place to sit other than your own. Imagine That Person sitting there (as vividly as you can). Stand up, take that piece of paper with offending words and hand them to That Person. Say out loud: "*Person*, these words are not mine. These words are yours. I'm giving them back to you."

It probably won't work the first time. Or second time. Or maybe even 5th or 10th time. But it will work.

You will heal. One undone internalisation at the time.

#Internalisation #Mental health #Healing #negative thoughts #self helf

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