Some thoughts about my personal gender journey.

https://www.everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com/lets-talk-about-gender/

you don’t owe anything to the toxic people in your life. even if you love them. even if they’re family. but you owe it to yourself to stand up for your own well-being.

trying to have the same mindset as “just cut your hair, it’ll grow back” when making decisions. they’re not all make or break.

A friendly reminder..❤️

One day you will finally meet someone who wants to help you grow in life.

-follow grits for more posts like this

if u are reading this, i’m sending u lots and lots of love, stay safe

you’ll never “just get over it”. it’ll always be there a little bit, tucked away somewhere. you’ll continue to live your life and not notice it much. but maybe every so often it’ll hurt again and that’s alright. our traumas don’t magically go away when we heal. but they also stop taking up so much space.

I’m rooting for you✨❤️

you are not hard to love. some people will not see your value. they’re not right for you, and that isn’t your fault. rejection does not make you unworthy.

How to love everything in your life

This is a twin post for Why discipline is toxic.

Let's start with your environment.

Home

Credit to Marie Kondo because most things here are from her book. (a summary here but i suggest people to read the manga or watch her show for more details)

Don't clean just to clean. Clean for your self. Why do you want to live in a clean environment? Be very specific. (Wanting to feel less stressed, wanting to feel organized, wanting to be surrendered by things you love etc)

When you clean, remember why you do it. You do it out of love for your own person because you want to feel comfy in a clean space. (Or any other reason) Just don't think you have to clean for the sake of cleaning. There are so many reasons why living in a clean space can be great.

Look at your things and remember why you like them. Kondo suggested keeping around things which "spark joy". The thing is, when you do this, you feel happier because you like everything. Suddenly folding clothes is nice, moving books to their place is nice, keeping papers only in a certain spot brings happiness etc.

Don't think of this as a chore but as an activity to relax. Folding clothes is origami, doing the dishes can be avatar water bending style, cleaning cupboards can be a puzzle for organization etc.

Outside world

Walks can be intimidating when you're alone but...

Try looking for a nice place in your city. Try finding beauty in a common spot. Try looking at things like you're a tourist fascinated by everything. Or an alien, that works too.

Look at the nature. The sky is always different yet beautiful. The sunlight is delightful, especially in the morning. Doesn't the grass look enchanting and makes you want to have a picnic? When you see the same things daily, it's difficult to see them as something special every day. Try learning that.

Walks are good for your body. You walk around to relax. It's an act of love for yourself.

Responsibilities

What's something you like about that activity/task? Find something, anything. Maybe you like how fast you can type and look at it as a game while you write emails. Maybe think how pretty food looks when you have to cook. (Anime moodboards help a lot with this) Perhaps you like the happiness people display when you help them with your job.

Try thinking it's an important task and how would you teach someone to do it. Everything is worth teaching and sharing knowledge seems to be a love language many have.

Maybe you don't like the task in any way, how about the feeling you have when it's done? Or the activities you can do after you're done? Think of the pleasure you have once the task is done if the task itself is so unlovable.

Worth mentioning, think of the concept of everything having a spirit. (this way of thinking is popular in witchcraft and Shintoism) won't you enjoy thinking the fairy next to the pile of dishes will he happy they're clean? Maybe it likes the dish soap's scent. Your imagination/perspective can make a task fun.

People

When you dislike someone, write a list with what you dislike about them. Then write another list with tasks you love/like. Try to make the like list as long as the disliked traits list.

For your friends, ask yourself why you like them? Is it the way they listen to you when you need? Is it the silly sense of humour they got? Is it their optimism? Bonus points if you tell them your every once in a while why they're important to you.

Write a like/love letter. Not in a romantic way but in an appreciation way. No need to give it to them. Just write it to see what makes these people special in your eyes.

Strangers, try to think they are undiscovered treasures. You can always learn something from anyone. You don't have to talk to new people, but this way of thinking will make you seem more invested in what they have to say.

Your person

You can write yourself love letters~ really, when was last time you took time to appreciate your own beauty?

Avoid criticism to your own person. Yes, you can make mistakes. No, you shouldn't be cruel because of the mistakes.

Do daily something that makes you happy.

How to actively make you happy

You can find love in everything and everyone. There's always something to appreciate in people and there are always certain emotions which are triggered by things or concepts. (The smile of your friend, the fluffy fur of the pet, the pretty decoration of a cake, the softness of your blouse etc) Just pay attention around you.