How to be confident
Confidence can get you incredibly far in life and make everything a lot easier; I consider myself a really confident person, so here are a few tips that might help you get there! <3
Eliminate toxic people. I don't care if it's your best friend, boyfriend, or mom; if they are stopping you from being the best version of yourself, it's time to say goodbye.
Fix your posture! Confident people have good fucking posture, and sweety, I just know your posture is not it rn, so please straighten that back.
Do what makes you happy. Who cares what people have to say about it? If it's good for you, do it.
Tell yourself you're that girl. Nobody will believe it if you don't do it, so hype yourself up!
Practice eye contact. I can just tell someone is confident if they can look me in the eyes while having a conversation. It seems much harder than it actually is; pick one of their eyes and just focus on it while you talk.
Speak with tone and expression. Talking in a quiet and monotone manner doesn't necessarily make you look insecure, but talking with expression just sounds more confident.
Make your hand visible. When you hide your hands, it makes you look insecure and uncomfortable.
Mind your own business. This one is really simple; I don't think I have to explain, lmao.
Don't tell people your insecurities because 99% of the time, they didn't notice them before you pointed them out.
Accept compliments. If someone says you look good, don't be like, "oh nooo, I look AWFUL" just say thank you and accept the compliment :)
Stop over-apologizing. Only say it if you actually did something bad or feel sorry.
Visualize the person you want to be. It's pretty simple, think about who you want to be, then think about how that person acts, their routine, how they talk, etc., and slowly start adapting those habits.
Don't be nervous to ask for help. Instead, change your mindset; people want to help you!
Authenticity radiates, be true to yourself, and you will attract good people like a magnet.
No one is out of your league if you act like it. This entire 'league' thing is made up, so don't put yourself in a box.
Trust yourself. You have a bad feeling; you know it and act on it. If you feel like something is not right, it's probably not. Trust yourself.
Stay calm under pressure. It's crucial to not freak out under pressure; even if you do, try acting as if everything is under control.
When entering a room, don't be on your phone. Look around, introduce yourself, greet people, etc.
smile more :)
walk like you know where you're going, even if you don't lol.
Live for yourself. Constantly work on not caring what other people think. If you like it, you post it. If you want to go there, go. If you like that outfit, wear it. Make decisions for yourself, not for others to validate you. It's your world, and every decision you make is because you want to make it yourself!
✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩
Erich Fromm explains, "If a woman told us that she loved flowers, and we saw that she forgot to water them, we would not believe in her 'love' for flowers."
Be consistent with your efforts to heal and to grow. Don’t worry about doing everything perfectly, and relieve yourself of the pressure to cater to everything outside of you more then that which is within. Try to love yourself, even if it’s less one day and more the next. Keep practicing this kind of love.
It's easy to spot great people. Great people will help you.
Remember when you start to miss something or dwell on something that was from your past or when you feel your going backwards in your healing that nostalgia is often something we look back on through rose colored glass. We so often get attached to things that aren’t for us and aren’t good for us due to romanticizing such a thing or the memories or feelings that we feel we attached to said thing. Not everything is as it seems when we reflect back on it or begin to miss it. Things fall away or are removed from out of your space for a reason. It’s time for you to wake up and see things for what they truly are my love.
Dear old me, you've changed a lot and I'm so proud of you for that.
I am grateful for the challenges I have survived in my life.
forgive yourself. forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn't become. forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. forgive yourself for not knowing any better at certain point of your life. for fucking things up so much that the grief still haunts you. forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you. you have to learn to integrate all parts of you, even the ones you desperately want to disown. it'll be alright.
Eating toast for dinner instead of cooking is better than not eating anything at all.
Using mouthwash instead of brushing your teeth is better than not taking care of your teeth at all.
Wiping yourself with a damp cloth or baby wipe instead of showering is better than not bathing at all.
Doing only one out of five assignments you need to turn in is better than not submitting anything at all.
Talking to a loved one on the phone is better than not talking to anyone at all.
Playing your favorite video game, listening to good music, or reading a book instead of "grinding" is better than not doing anything at all.
Don't beat yourself up for not being "productive enough". A little productivity is still productivity.
Gaining & Maintaining Power: A Reading List
Power & Manipulation
48 Laws of Power by Robert Green
The Prince by Machiavelli
Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne
The Dictator's Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always Good Politics by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita
Power: Why Some People Have It - And Others Don't by Jeffrey Pfeffer
The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success by Kevin Dutton
Charisma & Social Skills
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane
Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards
Never Eat Alone, And the Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi
The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer
The Art of Seduction by Robert Green
Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini
Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams
Pre-Suasion: Channeling Attention for Change by Robert Cialdini
Win Your Case: How to Present, Persuade, and Prevail, Every Place, Every Time by Gerry Spence
Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Richard Thaler
Methods of Persuasion: How to Use Psychology to Influence Human Behavior by Nick Kolenda
You Can Read Anyone: Never Be Fooled, Lied to, or Taken Advantage of Again by David Lieberman
Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change by Kerry Patterson
Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman
The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar
Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink
Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Green
Philosophy and Mindset
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Letters from a Stoic by Seneca
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Mastery by Robert Green
The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill
Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb
The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday
Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia
Public Speaking, Rhetoric, and Debating
Rhetoric by Aristotle
How to Argue & Win Every Time by Gerry Spence
The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie
The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie
Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds by Carmine Gallo
Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion by George Thompson, PhD
Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
p.s. a lot of these can be found on z-library.
an alumni from my school told me something that really stuck with me so i thought i would share it with any of my followers who are also students. she said “try to get good grades, but make it the least impressive thing about you.” soft skills are just as important! practice empathy, leadership, and communication! have hobbies and find new things that you’re good at!! know what your values are and how you act on them!! these things are so important 🌱
You’re not a failure just because you’re not where you thought you’d be by now.
do you need confidence? start applying these tips in your life ✨
never apologize for being too confident
put yourself first
nobody really has everything figured out, so stop worrying
it's not a competition, it's your life!
living inside our comfort zone holds you back from so much potential
you don't need everyone to like you and you don't need to prove yourself to anyone
fake it till you make it
look good, feel good
you're going to be criticized, no matter what you do, so do it anyways
Small things to do to feel better
Open your window and take a deep breath.
Cook yourself a comfort meal.
Do your skincare.
Do a dance workout on youtube to your favorite song.
Look at photos and videos that make you happy.
Turn off your phone for a while.
Go on a walk while listening to a podcast.
Do some stretching.
Take a nap. Tired = bad mood.
Call someone who you like.
Do a face mask.
Watch your favorite childhood movie.
Take your time. <3
˗ˋˏ°• love ya •°ˎˊ˗
When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer
this is your reminder to start slow and gradually lean into consistency rather than to change your entire routine one fine day. it's okay to start wherever and whenever you feel ready. please don't compare yourself to the highlight reel of people on social media. i promise it's never too late to work on your goals. you don't have to make a drastic change just because it's a new year. time is a social construct and i want nothing more than for you to truly enjoy life at present without worrying too much about the future. you are completely able to achieve goals you have set for yourself, but take it step by step. please avoid burnout and please take rest. wishing you all the best!!