Some solutions for overthinking
Go to the opposite extreme. Focus on the good. What if you're amazing? What if you sweep then off their feet? What if you succeed?
If you can't deal with a reality you created, avoid spending time and energy on it. If you can't touch this worry somehow, it's just an imaginary monster feeding off your thoughts.
Look for the best parts of the situation. You screwed 1 thing, how about the other 10 you did right? Appreciate your accomplishments.
Perspective is everything. Do you think that teacher will remember you dropping a paper in 4 days? Nope. Most people don't even pay attention. The more you focus on a little thing, the bigger it becomes.
Overthinking is a way of running from feelings. Learn to manage your feelings and know that's okay not to know how everything will go like.
Be focused on the positive intentionally!
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nourish your mindset. think positive thoughts & watch as they come to fruition
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Today I woke up with the desire to delete all social networks. More and more, I begin to feel that they are gradually absorbing me, leaving me no choice but to fall under their influence. I admit, perhaps, this fact indicates that I am still a human whose personality is just forming, and even seemingly insignificant details can be of great importance in the process of determining some life priorities and landmarks. But if these little things catch your eye in almost every post, you can't help but think: maybe I still look at this world childishly? But doesn't life form from the little things?
I try to turn a blind eye to most posts. I try to analyze them from the outside. I'm interested to see how people act in certain situations, their opinions are quite interesting for me in some certain situations, I'm happy (and it's really true) when one of my friends visits cool places. But at the same time I see radical differences between online and offline versions of account owners and it's very alarming. It is alarming that I may not know the person with whom I went for coffee, because as you know, you should not drink coffee with strangers, as this process is quite intimate.
It is especially interesting to watch strangers with whom you share the same opinion on some issues, to read those who have extensive experience or understand the topic that worries you. There are a lot of useful, interesting, informative and aesthetically attractive accounts (because beauty is also an important, it is often underestimated component that turns the process of human existence into something much more), but with each post you catch yourself thinking that you involuntarily start comparing yourself with these people and find more and more shortcomings in your own life.
This is especially true of some seemingly insignificant aspects of life, such as your appearance or place of rest. You start to ask yourself a bunch of questions to which you do not find the answer, because you understand that the profile on the social network is not an indicator and in most cases a big fake, as there we are shown only the desired, not the real picture.
Social networks began to be taken too seriously, although in reality from the very beginning their goal was simply to diversify our daily lives, bring us closer to old friends and find new ones. They were invented so that we could share a piece of our real life with others: here's the photo of cake I baked for my best friend's birthday, and here's a selfie from the same birthday, here's my brother's dog, and here I caught a beautiful sunset after a heavy downpour, I decided to show it to so I could open up to you from the other side, less serious and more personal. But instead we got something completely different.
Now every post should be thought out to the smallest detail: from colors to mental load. To post an unprocessed, uninteresting, simple photo and even without an intricate signature is to show your ignorance and once again confirm your status as a completely inconspicuous person. Having only selfies in the profile is considered as a moveton. Photos of food are openly annoying to everyone, and quotes from great people under them are surprising. Almost everything is aimed at showing and proving something to someone.
And on the one hand - it's really great. There are a lot of opportunities for local businesses and new faces who would not be able to build their careers without the help of the Internet, but on the other hand, the current algorithms of social networks kill the originality and passion of even the most persistent users, forcing them to drop their hands and start playing by the rules. Rules that flow from virtual life to real. Life is quite difficult and unpredictable per se, so why do things that were invented to make it a little brighter only make it worse?
Today I woke up with the desire to delete all social networks, because I started to get tired of some rules, especially those that the others want to set in my life without my consent. Or I should start making my own ones. The question is if these rules will be viable in such a strict digital environment?
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Let's have some fun 🥵🥵🥵😈🍑💦
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Today, I've learned something new about kindness. I can't always be kind to others then act the opposite towards myself. It does not work that way. If I can do that to others, how come I am withholding myself the comfort of hearing kind words? It has to stop.
Today, I am choosing to be kind to myself.
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Fanart Exercise Sujects: Nightwing (Richard “Dick” Grayson) / Red Hood (Jason Todd)
From: Batman franchise / DC Comics / WB ...
Using “casual characters” to improve personal skills.
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things that make me happy p1
- Listening to happy music
- Playing video games
- Seeing new art of my characters
- Creating characters
- Writing stories or telling stories
- Smelling good
- Face masks
- Shadow work
- Finding money in unexpected places
- Laughing so hard my ribs hurt
- Making food for myself
- Bargain hunting
- Thrift shopping
- Small achievements
- Chocolate (sometimes)
- Taking a long shower and feeling the soap get super grothy in my hair
- Having all my homework done
- Having a clean room
- Waking up before my alarm and knowing there’s more time to sleep
- Popping bubble wrap
- Socks (sometimes)
- Finding a cool rock
- Writing someone a note and seeing them happy
- Finding an awesome gift for somebody
- Wearing a cool outfit
- Finding the right song to match my mood
- Making little scrapbooks
- Harry Potter movies
- Disney movies
- Tiny impulsive buys (do not make this a habit)
- Teaching myself something new
- Treating myself to a little date
- Fruity herbal scents
- Staying in a hotel room and ordering pizza
- Making time to read
- Finding places to store stuff
- Throw blankets
- Halloween stuff
- Random acts of kindness
- Having my hair played with
- Platonic affection
- Being appreciated
- Writing letters (WRITE HER BACK YOU MONGREL)
- Bacon on sandwiches
- BBQ burgers
- Playing card games (Learn to love MTG again)
- Little tiny acorns
- Rain hitting the window outside
- Snuggling up with my stuffed animals
- Playing games while on a discord call
- Calling my friends while I’m doing busywork
- Keeping plants alive
- Getting plants
- Watering plants
- Big shirt no pants
- Crunchy apples
- Perfectly ripe tomatoes (I hate squishy ones)
- The stain remover stick that I have
- My Apple Pencil
- My AirPods
- My stuffed animals
- Buying clothes for my stuffed animals
- Getting a shirt in *just* the perfect color
- Wearing that said shirt every day
- When someone finds something at the thrift store for me and they say “You’d wear this”
- Or “This is a Kindle shirt”
- Looking at birthday cards
- Making my own cards instead
- Writing poems and being proud of their consistency
- Whenever someone takes the time to look at my essay or writing and really analyze it
- When someone comes up with a new meaning for my song
- Sticky white rice
- Falling in love with a book
- Falling in love with a book character
- Writing about said character and elaborating on a
- Getting to tell my distant family members about my life and them getting excited with me
- Peppermint carnations
- Good smelling flowers
- Big stacks of copy paper
- My plethora of markers
- Smell of food cooking
- Smell of gasoline
- Smell of grilling
- New haircut
- People complementing my makeup
- Making tiktoks directly after putting on my makeup
- Knowing about family heritage (to some extent)
- Hot chocolate
- Sweet baby ray’s barbecue sauce
- Kitty cuddles
- When a dog tugs on its leash to be pet by me
- Olive Garden
- Feeling sophisticated
- People asking my opinion and developing their opinions off of mine
- “That fall feeling”
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feeling like sometimes love is not enough for you and you need more is okay.
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HOW TO EXPRESS HOW YOU FEEL
When you feel triggered by something someone did
▲ Using “I” statements creates a dynamic in the conversation of vulnerability and openness: “I feel ___ when you flirt with other people. Can we talk about this?” Versus using “You” statements, which creates an accusational tone and causes the other person to be defensive: “You flirting with other people makes me feel ___.”
▲ “I” statements are the key to expressing yourself in any situation because you are taking ownership of how you feel. “You” statements are an attack, “You made me feel upset,” “You’re being annoying,” “You spend too much time on your phone.” Setting up the conversation like this leads the focus to the other person’s error, diminishing your chances of expressing how you feel because the other person feels like they have to defend themselves.
Choosing the right medium
▲ “You did that over text message?” Sure, the “proper” social thing to do in this hypothetical situation would be to go in person and have the conversation, like, they’re worth more than just a text... right?! A text is just a different form of communication, and one that I can use while getting my point across in a stained t-shirt. I can edit my words for days. In person, I have to show up, looking decent, and say the right things live. Uhh not practical in my break-up vibe example when we have a ghosting epidemic on our hands.
▲ Picking the right medium is subjective. A phone call may suffice or you may need to have a face to face conversation about all that’s built up and causing animosity. Which space allows you to be the most vulnerable and receptive?
▲ Your intention is very important to be aware of and convey. Is your intention to find a solution to a problem? Is your intention to be heard and understood? Is your intention to get out your emotion?
» Note: Tone is one of the most easily miscommunicated things through text message, note this while thinking of your word choice
» Note: Voice notes are a quick and cheery way to spice up a conversation and drop a compliment in someone’s lap, this will make someone miss and want to see you, fun for flirting
When you like someone
It’s so intimidating when you feel the feels, do they feel it too?
The best way to gage this is to observe their interest level: reply time, consistency, quality of conversation. If they’re only hitting you up when you post a story... then, they are attracted to you... but presenting low effort/interest. More likely than not, you’re low on their roster or they’re using you as a cushion. Do not waste your time here.
→ When you start liking them
▲ It can also be intimidating when someone tells you that they like you. What do you do with this information, is there a next step they want to take? It’s intense. What has worked for me, is telling someone I can see myself falling for them. This eliminates the pressure of deciding what to do next because I haven’t fallen yet, and easily allows the other person to fallback if they’re not ready or willing to catch me, also it allows me to jump to safety because I’m not in that deep.
→ When you have liked them for a while
▲ Depending on if you’re friends with this person or not, I believe matters. You have a preexisting tie you don’t want to ruin. If you don’t have a friendship with this person, you don’t have to worry about that, or mutuals opinions/influence... take the plunge and tell them that you like them (there’s no point in torturing yourself with wondering what could be. Know.) Also know if you’re open to still seeing other people while you see them, if you want to be exclusive or if you’re opened to either: “Hey I really like you and want to see where this goes, I’m opened to dating other people or just focusing on us while we build our connection, how do you feel about us and this?”
» Or, if you don’t know, communicate that you want to explore
» If you have a preexisting tie, don’t plunge. Tread lightly, this is different for each connection, depending on how long and deep they are
» Note: The majority of fwb relationships end up as friendships, if the dtr conversation is being delayed or brushed under the rug, this is your non-assertive answer that they aren’t ready for or don’t want something more with you
» Just because a connection doesn’t turn out how you thought or want, doesn’t mean that you can’t be gem’s in each others lives
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I hope you heal from things that have been hurting you for so long.
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I think this should be known, it’s so important to be able to differentiate the two because they are definitely different.
Do more research, this doesn’t go super in depth. Your experiences are valid.
Causes/Triggers Below 👇
“It's not known what causes panic attacks or panic disorder, but these factors may play a role: Genetics. Major stress. Temperament that is more sensitive to stress or prone to negative emotions. Certain changes in the way parts of your brain function. Panic attacks may come on suddenly and without warning at first, but over time, they're usually triggered by certain situations. Some research suggests that your body's natural fight-or-flight response to danger is involved in panic attacks. For example, if a grizzly bear came after you, your body would react instinctively. Your heart rate and breathing would speed up as your body prepared for a life-threatening situation. Many of the same reactions occur in a panic attack. But it's unknown why a panic attack occurs when there's no obvious danger present.”
“Unexpected panic attacks have no clear external triggers. Expected panic attacks and anxiety can be triggered by similar things. Some common triggers include: a stressful job, driving, social situations, phobias, such as agoraphobia (fear of crowded or open spaces), claustrophobia (fear of small spaces), and acrophobia (fear of heights), reminders or memories of traumatic experiences, chronic illnesses, such as heart disease, diabetes, irritable bowel syndrome, or asthma, chronic pain, withdrawal from drugs or alcohol, caffeine, medication and supplements, thyroid problems”
“Panic attacks usually occur out of the blue without an obvious, immediate trigger. In some cases, they are "expected" because the fear is caused by a known stressor, such as a phobia.”
So below are a few sources! They were written and medically reviewed as well!
Informational use only.
Info-graph Source: instagram.com/dlcanxiety
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When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.
Alexander Den Heijer
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It's all about perspective.
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only compare yourself to your previous self, no one else.
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if you woke up late, your morning didn't go well, something unexpected happened at the beginning of the day and you are now sad and worried your day will be wasted, don’t worry. take a deep breath and start with where you left off. you can always start at any point of the day. you can start getting your life together at 5PM in case you were too tired and sleeping all day long. please don't give a bad 20 minutes or so of an incident the power to dictate the rest of the day. you dictate the energy you want. start wherever you want. rest when you need to. you got this ♡
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as the colder months approach: i wish you all a healthy, calm end of the year. i wish you tasty cups of tea, comfortable clothes, warm beds, nutritious meals in safe homes, good music, new friends and unwavering health. you deserve good things now.
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A list of nice words we should use more to describe people
Adventurous : willing to undertake new and daring enterprises.
Affectionate : having or displaying warmth or fondness.
Ambitious : having a strong desire for success or achievement.
Amiable : diffusing warmth and friendliness.
Brave : not being afraid of danger.
Considerate : showing concern for the rights and feelings of others.
Courageous : able to face and deal with danger or fear without flinching.
Courteous : characterized by politeness and gracious good manners.
Diligent : characterized by care and perseverance in carrying out tasks.
Empathetic : showing ready comprehension of others' states.
Exuberant : unrestrained, especially with regard to feelings.
Gregarious : temperamentally seeking and enjoying the company of others.
Humble : marked by meekness or modesty; not arrogant or prideful.
Impartial : free from undue bias or preconceived opinions.
Intuitive : obtained through instinctive knowledge.
Inventive : marked by independence and creativity in thought or action.
Kind : behaving in a caring way towards people
Passionate : having or expressing strong emotions.
Philosophical : meeting trouble with level-headed detachment.
Practical : guided by experience and observation rather than theory.
Rational : having its source in or being guided by the intellect.
Reliable : worthy of trust.
Resourceful : adroit or imaginative.
Sensible : able to feel or perceive.
Sincere : open and genuine; not deceitful.
Sympathetic : expressing compassion or friendly fellow feelings.
Witty : demonstrating striking cleverness and humor.
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