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#self isolation

Day 78 of 2 Weeks Isolation (and a half)  20 Days Isolation A month and a week isolation  2 months and a week isolation 2 months and 3 weeks isolation:

Work From Home period is almost over, in a manner of speaking. Strict Social Distancing period in my city ended today, after being extended twice. News said that June will be a ‘transition month’ to ease public into the new normal slowly. Offices and store may start operating again next Monday, but only with 50% personels at a time.

For my office, that means my colleagues and I will take turns coming in to office. Honestly, I’d prefer to just working from home instead of one day working from home, then work from office the next day, etc. Oh well. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Signing off from Day 78. Stay safe and healthy, everyone.

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April 26, 2020

Dear Ben,

I have felt a bit down these past few days. Is it the lockdown? Is it the fast approaching end of it? Is it work? Is it something else?

I have found solace though in the mornings, when the light is pale and the day still full of promise and possibility, and also in nights when the expectations are gone and the only thing left is the crescent moon watching over the world.

L.

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I am a shell

Hollow and thin.


Inside, I feel

Nothing.

I feel everything.


My functionality is

Like a well-oiled machine.


They don’t notice.

I have scars.


I’m tired of hoping,

Tired of thinking,

Tired of living…


I’m fine.

The tightening in my chest,

The rising panic,

The unwelcome thoughts….


I guess it’s not new now, is it?

“Psyche bent, Overthrown”


Ode to Grief, K. (embody-blue)

06.03.20


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I can feel myself shutting down, can feel myself distancing from everyone emotionally and giving in to the urge to ignore messages. This is the one where I don’t come back isn’t it? Where my “friends” get fed up of my silence and pessimism and how horrible of a friend I am and leave me alone once and for all. I don’t know what to feel. I hope they hate me. That way they won’t feel bad.

Im going to scratch my legs, I want to bleed right now.

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Day 77 of 2 Weeks Isolation (and a half)  20 Days Isolation A month and a week isolation  2 months and a week isolation 2 months and 3 weeks isolation:

Work is driving me crazy today, probably tomorrow as well. Managed to catch another live stream from OutsideXtra and directly after to the fundraiser live stream by Eurogamer ft Imogen. I really love these communities. 💞

Signing off from Day 77. Stay safe and healthy, everyone.

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Day 76 of 2 Weeks Isolation (and a half)  20 Days Isolation A month and a week isolation  2 months and a week isolation 2 months and 3 weeks isolation:

Do you know that thing where you think it’s difficult/complicated, but turned out to be easier than you thought? Also the opposite where you think it shouldn’t be too difficult/complicated, but turned out to be a lot messier and need a lot more work than you thought? Yeah, got both of those situations today. *facedesk*

Signing off from Day 76. Stay safe and healthy, everyone.

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I’ve been looking forward to this one all week. We swapped quinoa for rice, just because I really don’t like quinoa, but calorie level is pretty close and we lose a few grams of protein which isn’t the end of the world in a chicken and yogurt dish. This was so tasty. The chicken was the best chicken I have ever had. The marinade was so easy to make as well I will for sure be making this again.

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I’ve discovered that MyFitnessPal has all the Mindful Chef dishes installed so it’s super easy to start using that app again, and monitor macros. This make me happy! I’ve been eating healthily but gaining weight so I need to start seriously monitoring my intake again!

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Well, this bullshit sucks! I miss him. Which is funny cuz how the fuck can I miss so much someone I literally met in January. But he proved to be trustworthy. He stayed even when I wasn’t doing good. He stayed with me and helped me deal with all my problems. For that reason I really miss him, and I’m excited to see him again to go on dates and fun stuff after all this is over.

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