#self-denial

[theinwardlight]

And as you love the Light, and follow it, you will see how it will lead you out of your many forms and many ways, into one way. It will lead you out of your own wisdom and imaginations..., and it will strip you of your own righteousness... Here you will find the end of all bickering and arguing, divisions and disputes.

James Parnell, early Quaker preacher and martyr

#james parnell #quaker #quakerism #the light #self-denial #the one way #the end of man-made religions and ideas #trust in God #faith #christ

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

The supreme challenge you will face in making Christ-honoring, biblical changes is dying to self.

John Broger

#challenge #Christlikeness #transformation #change #humility #self-denial #John Broger #Christian Quotes

[philosophybitmaps]

#philosophy #quotes #Oscar Wilde #The Picture of Dorian Gray #Wilde #poverty #tragedy #self-denial #beauty #wealth

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

"Self Denial Urged as Need," Montreal Star. May 7, 1943. Page 23. ---- Address to W.C.T.U. On New Asceticism ---- The gospel of self-denial was stressed by the Rev. G. W. Goth in an address to the Hochelaga County Women's Christian Temperance Union at its forty-ninth annual meeting, held at the First Baptist Church yesterday. Speaking on "The New Asceticism," the minister said that henceforth individuals and nations will be expected to deny themselves for the good of the whole.

No one has the right to do what he likes unless what he likes harmonizes with what he ought to do, the speaker declared. No one had the right to drink when he likes if, by doing so, he is made anti-social.

"The new asceticism demands self-control rather than self-expression. The world of tomorrow, if it is to justify this agony, belongs to those who deny themselves."

Mrs. J. G. McWhinnie presided at the meeting. Rev. Dr. M. F. McCutcheon, of the First Baptist Church, welcomed the members. In her opening remarks, the president stressed present-day challenges to Christian motherhood, and urged that members welcome every opportunity to serve the youth of the land.

Reports noted increased interest in the work of the union.

A memorial service was conducted by Mrs. C. Paterson, when Mrs. E. W. Griffith sang "The Land where there is no setting Sun," accompanied by Mrs. Bennett.

County life membership pins were presented to Mrs. J. G. McWhinnie and Mrs. F. Allwright.

Miss E. Wheeler, Y.P.B. secretary, presided at the evening session when Charles Cowell, field-secretary of the Soldiers' and Airmen's Christian Association, outlined the work and pointed out need of a "Fellowship Lodge" in Montreal.

Officers for 1943-44 are as follows: Honorary president, Mrs. James Mabon; president, Mrs. J. G. McWhinnie; vice-presidents. Mrs. W. LeBrocq, Mrs. W. J. Adams; recording secretary, Mrs. F. R. Crawford; corresponding secretary, Mrs. H. Mallinson: treasurer, Mrs. E. Fleming; Y.P.B. secretary, Miss E. Wheeler.

#montreal #hochelaga county #women's christian temperance union #temperance movement #war on alcohol #baptist church #self-denial #christianity in canada #christian supremacy #child savers #christian reformers #women in politics #civil society #canada during world war 2

[howifeltabouthim]

There are delights which a woman must deny herself, let them be ever so delightful.

Anthony Trollope, from Phineas Finn

#denial #going without #temperance #self-denial #delights #forbidden fruit #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #classics #propriety #anthony trollope #phineas finn

[suziegallagher]

The Paradoxical Path: Self-Denial and Life Fulfillment in Luke 9:23-24

Introduction The passage Luke 9:23-24 is a profound teaching from Jesus Christ, inviting us to a life of self-denial for the sake of following Him. These verses read, “Then he said to them all: ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save…

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#daily cross #Jesus #Jesus Christ #losing life #Luke 9:23-24 #saving life #self-denial #self-promotion

[wisdomfish]

And He was saying to them all, “If anyone wishes to follow Me [as My disciple], he must deny himself [set aside selfish interests], and take up his cross daily [expressing a willingness to endure whatever may come] and follow Me [believing in Me, conforming to My example in living and, if need be, suffering or perhaps dying because of faith in Me]. For whoever wishes to save his life [in this world] will [eventually] lose it [through death], but whoever loses his life [in this world] for My sake, he is the one who will save it [from the consequences of sin and separation from God]. For what does it profit a man if he gains the whole world [wealth, fame, success], and loses or forfeits himself? For whoever is ashamed [here and now] of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory and the glory of the [heavenly] Father and of the holy angels. ~ Luke 9:23-26

#follow me #self-denial #take up your cross #beasts of burden #forfeit

[his24-7]

(His24-7.com)   Luke 9:23-27 - What greater sacrifice could you give this Lent than your self-centeredness?From what I read in the Bible, this is the greatest sacrificial gift you can give to the Lord.

#SoundCloud #music #His24-7.com #Cross #Self-denial #Lent #Sacrifice

[biblebloodhound]

Saints, Sinners, and Sacrifice (Mark 8:31-38)

People cannot be separated easily into the categories of saints or sinners. We are much more like saintly sinners or sinning saints. 

Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes and be killed and after three days rise again. He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on…

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#apostle peter #christ&039;s sacrifice #christ&039;s teaching #christian faith #christian life #christianity #cross #cross of christ #faith #following jesus #gospel of mark #jesus christ #mark 8 #sacrifice #sacrificial love #saints #self-denial #selfishness #sinners #suffering #the church

[daimonclub]

Self-words quotes and aphorisms

Self-words quotes and aphorisms Self-words quotes and aphorisms, quotations, ideas and thoughts, by famous writers and authors, from Self-Acceptance to Self-Interest I don't care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself. Michel de Montaigne There is nothing outside of yourself that can ever enable you to get better, stronger, richer, quicker, or smarter. Everything is within. Everything exists. Seek nothing outside of yourself. Miyamoto Musashi  The Book of Five Rings Some very important key words for the growth of the human being. First golden rule: you must learn from experience, in general! Then you must always rely on: self-control; politeness; hard-working; self-conscience; self-assessment; self-critical; self-management; self-autonomy; self-determination; self-esteem; self-government; self-independence; self-esteem; self-respect; cooperation; empathy, self-motivation; self-confidence; self-love; pluralism; reciprocity; tolerance; learning to learn; permanent education; rules; law; perseverance; responsibility; pragmatism; honesty; self-sacrifice; self-discipline; and last but not least, a bit of luck! SELF-ACCEPTANCE Our entire life... consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are. Jean Anouilh (1910-1987, French playwright) Learn to... be what you are, and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not. Henri Frederic Amiel (1821-1881, Swiss philosopher, poet, critic) Accept the place the divine providence has found for you. Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882, American poet, essayist) Those people who are uncomfortable in themselves are disagreeable to others. William Hazlitt (1778-1830, British essayist) The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Carl Jung (1875-1961, Swiss psychiatrist) SELF-ACTUALIZATION Now is the time when your action is practice. The Dalai Lama Only by giving, only by serving, only by doing, do we really do something for ourselves. James W. Frick Our greatest joy and satisfaction comes from the act of giving. Leo Buscaglia (1924-1998, American expert on love, lecturer, author) Only those who have nothing in them have nothing to give. Douglas G. Franklin Men do less than they ought, unless they do all they can. Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881, Scottish philosopher, author) SELF-APPRAISAL Idiots and lunatics see only their own wit. Francois De La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680, French classical writer) Never let your failures go to your heart or your successes go to your head. Author Unknown Self-praise is for losers. Be a winner. Stand for something. Always have class, and be humble. John Madden (1936-, American football coach) SELF-APPRECIATION To accept ourselves as we are means to value our imperfections as much as our perfections. Sandra Bierig I am somebody. I am me. I like being me. And I need nobody to make me somebody. Louis L'Amour (1908-1988, American Western author) SELF-APPROVAL What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one's self-approval. Mark Twain (1835-1910, American humorist, writer) I'm not trying to prove anybody wrong, I'm just trying to prove something to myself. Mike Piazza SELF-AWARENESS My mind is my biggest asset. Tiger Woods (1975-, American golfer) Whenever you are about to find fault with someone, ask yourself the following question: What fault of mine most nearly resembles the one I am about to criticize? Marcus Aurelius Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing. Lawrence Bossidy Wisdom tends to grow in proportion to one’s awareness of one’s ignorance.” Anthony de Mello Self awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to it being right or wrong, good or bad. Debbie Ford I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards becoming a champion. Billie Jean King (1943-, American tennis player) The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates Explore thyself. Herein are demanded the eye and the nerve. Henry David Thoreau Without self-awareness we are as babies in the cradles. Virginia Woolf SELF-CARE Keep taking time for yourself until you are you again. Lalah Delia You can’t always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside. Wayne Dyer You have your own life, why waste it on focusing on others. Nitin Namdeo When you focus on yourself and love yourself, some relationships have to go. Adrian Michael Be you, love you. All ways, always. Alexandra Elle I feel the capacity to care is the thing which gives life its deepest significance. Pablo Casals Care is a state in which something does matter; it is the source of human tenderness. Rollo May Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting. William Shakespeare If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete. Jack Kornfield SELF-CONCEPT The term self-concept is a general term used to refer to how someone thinks about, evaluates or perceives themselves. To be aware of oneself is to have a concept of oneself.

Self-words quotes and aphorisms SELF-CONFIDENCE Creativity means believing you have greatness. Wayne Dyer (1940-, American psychotherapist, author, lecturer) The confidence we have in ourselves arises in a great measure from that which we have in others. Francois De La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680, French classical writer) One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. Arthur Ashe (1943-1993, African-American tennis player) Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained. Madame Marie Curie (1867-1934, Polish-born French physicist) SELF-CONFLICT Whatever you condemn, you have done yourself. Georg Groddeck It's surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you're not comfortable within yourself, you can't be comfortable with others. Sidney J. Harris (1917-, American journalist) It isn't the things that happen to us, it's the things we think are going to happen to us that drive us almost crazy. Kathleen Norris (1880-1966, American novelist) A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most. On Other Peoples Expectations: The only man who behaved sensibly was my tailor; he took my measurement anew every time he saw me, while all the rest went on with their old measurements and expected them to fit me. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950, Irish-born British dramatist) SELF-CONSTRAINT Don't be curious of matters that don't concern you; never speak of them, and don't ask about them. St. Teresa of Avila Everybody's business is nobody's business, and nobody's business is my business. Clara Barton (1821-1912, American humanitarian) I listen and give input only if somebody asks. Barbara Bush (1925-, American First Lady, wife of George H. Bush) Too often in ironing out trouble someone gets scorched. Marcelene Cox (American writer) When you borrow trouble you give your peace of mind as security. Myrtle Reed SELF-CONTROL A little kingdom I possess, where thoughts and feelings dwell; And very hard the task I find of governing it well. Louisa May Alcott (1832-1888, American author) If a man doesn't delight in himself and the force in him and feel that he and it are wonders, how is all life to become important to him? Sherwood Anderson (1876-1941 American writer) I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self. Aristotle (BC 384-322, Greek philosopher) Prudent, cautious self-control, is wisdom's root. Robert Burns (1759-1796, Scottish poet) I never prod my nose into other man's porridge. Miguel De Cervantes (1547-1616, Spanish novelist, dramatist, poet) He who conquers himself is the mightiest warrior. Confucius (BC 551-479, Chinese ethical teacher, philosopher) The highest possible stage in moral culture is when we recognize that we ought to control our thoughts. Charles Darwin (1809-1882, British naturalist) Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock. Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948, Indian political, spiritual leader) We improve ourselves by victories over ourselves. There must be contest, and we must win. Edward Gibbon (1737-1794, British historian) It is as proper to have pride in oneself as it is ridiculous to show it to others. Francois De La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680, French classical writer) He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. Lao-Tzu (BC 600-?, Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism) He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself. Philip Massinger (1583-1640, British dramatist) He who cannot obey himself will be commanded. That is the nature of living creatures. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher) The first and best victory is to conquer self. To be conquered by self is, of all things, the most shameful and objectionable. Plato (BC 427?-347?, Greek philosopher) To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves. Virginia Woolf (1882-1941, British novelist, essayist) You can also read this article about The Importance of self-control SELF-DELUSION Don't let self-doubt hold you back! Author Unknown Don't mistake chicken dung for an egg. American Proverb (Sayings of American origin) The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher) The worst thing you can do is start slow, or con yourself into thinking that you can take your time getting into a match. The curtain is up so you've got to perform. Jack Kramer (1918-, American basketball player) I suppose I have a highly developed capacity for self-delusion, so it's no problem for me to believe that I'm somebody else. Daniel Day-Lewis (1958-, British-born American actor) SELF-DENIAL Self-denial is painful for a moment, but very agreeable in the end. Jane Taylor Few men make themselves masters of the things they write or speak. John Selden (1584-1654, British jurist, statesman) Self-denial is not a virtue, it is only the effect of prudence on rascality. George Bernard Shaw (1856-1950, Irish-born British dramatist) Self-denial is indispensable to a strong character, and the highest kind comes from a religious stock. Theodore Parker (1810-1860, American minister) The same people who can deny others everything are famous for refusing themselves nothing. Leigh Hunt (1784-1859, British poet, essayist) Every extreme attitude is a fight from the self. Eric Hoffer (1902-1983, American author, philosopher) SELF-DETERMINATION It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. Zig Ziglar (1926-, American sales trainer, author, motivational speaker) I will always stay hungry, never satisfied with current accomplishments. Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947-, Austrian-born American actor, author, director, restaurateur) My will shall shape my future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me, or I can be lost in a maze. My choice, my responsibility, win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. Elaine Maxwell

Self-words post by English-culture SELF-DISCIPLINE Doing your best is more important than being the best. Author Unknown A mind which really lays hold of a subject is not easily detached from it. Ida Tarbell If someone transports dung and does not eat it, it should not be concluded that he is an honest person. Taiwanese Proverb If you can command yourself, you can command the world. Chinese Proverb (Sayings of Chinese origin) If you are willing to discipline yourself, the physical universe won't need to discipline you. Leonard Orr Not being able to govern events, I govern myself, and apply myself to them if they will not apply themselves to me. Michel Eyquem De Montaigne (1533-1592, French philosopher, essayist) He who conquers others is strong. He who conquers himself is mighty. Lao-Tzu (BC 600-?, Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism) Being professional in whatever you do is important. Talent alone is not enough. Kathy Ireland (1963-, American model) Self discipline is when your conscience tells you to do something and you don't talk back. W. K. Hope You must have discipline to have fun. Julia Child (1912-2004, American gourmet cook, author, and television personality) SELF-DISCORVERY No one is more interesting to anybody than is that mysterious character we all call me, which is why self-liberation, self-actualization, self-transcendence, etc., are the most exciting games in town. Robert Wilson (1941-, American theater director, designer) When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. William A. Ward We discover in ourselves what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves. Luc de Clapiers de Vauvenargues Some people say they haven't yet found themselves. But the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates. Thomas Szasz (1920-, American psychiatrist) People travel to wonder at the height of mountains, at the huge waves of the sea, at the long courses of rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and they pass themselves by without wondering. St. Augustine (354-430, Numidian-born bishop of Hippo, theologian) Lose yourself wholly; and the more you lose, the more you will find. St. Catherine of Siena I think somehow we learn who we really are and then we live with that decision. Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962, American First Lady, columnist, lecturer, humanitarian) Everything changes when you change. Jim Rohn (American businessman, author, speaker, philosopher) The person who God shows a treasure to must dig it out himself. Czechoslovakian Proverb (Sayings of Czech origin) One must know oneself. If this does not serve to discover truth, it at least serves as a rule of life and there is nothing better. Blaise Pascal (1623-1662, French scientist, religious philosopher) No thinker's thoughts give me as much pleasure as my own. Of course, this does not prove anything in their favor; but on the other hand, I would be foolish to neglect fruits that are tasteful just because they grow on my own tree. Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900, German philosopher) No one has ever learned fully to know themselves. Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1749-1832, German poet, dramatist, novelist) Look into the depths of your own soul and learn first to know yourself, then you will understand why this illness was bound to come upon you and perhaps you will thenceforth avoid falling ill. Sigmund Freud (1856-1939, Austrian physician, founder of Psychoanalysis) Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle. Lewis Carroll (1832-1898, British writer, mathematician) Let's dare to be ourselves, for we do that better than anyone else. Shirley Briggs SELF-DOUBT Our self-conceit sustains, and always must sustain us. Samuel Butler (1612-1680, British poet, satirist) SELF-EDUCATION People think of education as something that they can finish. Isaac Asimov School can provide you an education and university can give you a culture, but self-knowledge and self-learning can help you to make a fortune. Carl William Brown Self-education is, I firmly believe, the only kind of education there is. The only function of a school is to make self-education easier; failing that, it does nothing. Isaac Asimov The first thing a student should understand to have success is that of becoming a self-taught man. Carl William Brown Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. Robert Frost SELF-ESTEEM SELF-ESTEEM controls PERFORMANCE/REALITY which stimulate SELF-TALK which reinforces SELF-ESTEEM. This cycle can work positively or negatively and is greatly influenced by the self-talk. (I knew I wasn't good at..., next time I'll practice and do better! Author Unknown All the extraordinary men I have known were extraordinary in their own estimation. Woodrow T. Wilson (1856-1924, American President (28th)) Blessed are they who heal us of self-despising. Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious. Read the full article

#aphorisms #positive #quotations #quotes #selfconcept #self-acceptance #self-actualization #self-appraisal #self-appreciation #self-approval #self-awareness #self-confidence #self-conflict #self-constraint #self-control #self-delusion #self-denial #self-determination #Self-discipline #self-discorvery #self-doubt #self-esteem #self-evident #self-examination #self-expression #self-flattery #self-help #self-image #self-improvement #self-interest

[pastordin]

A Vision for True Discipleship - You are invited!

You are invited!

Matthew 16:24 “Then Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.'” 📖 Reflection A Call to Self-Denial Matthew 16:24 is a clarion call to true discipleship, where self-denial, sacrifice, and a daily commitment to following Christ are paramount. Jesus beckons us to let go of worldly desires and find our purpose in…

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#assurance of God&039;s promises #Be Thou My Vision #Christian devotional #dependence on God #hymn reflection #Matthew 16:24 #prayer #purpose-driven life #self-denial #spiritual growth

[theinwardlight]

From Foundations of our faith and calling, the Bruderhof

#bruderhof #christianity #faith #cross #self-denial #love #humility #vulnerability #littleness

[officialyourdailyinspiration]

Christ's Passion Foretold

22 Saying, The Son of Man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and on the third day be raised. 23 And He said to them all, If anyone wants to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me. 24 For whoever wants to save his soul-life shall lose it; but whoever loses his soul-life for My sake, this one shall save it. 25 For what is a man profited if he gains the whole world but loses or forfeits himself? — Luke 9:22-25 | Recovery Version (REC) The Recovery Version of the Holy Bible © 2009 Living Stream Ministry. All rights reserved. Cross References: Matthew 10:38; Matthew 16:21; Matthew 16:26; Matthew 27:63; Mark 8:34; John 17:33; John 12:25; Hebrews 10:34

#Son of Man #suffer #rejected #elders #chief priests #scribes #death #raised #third day #self-denial #cross bearing #following (Jesus) #life #save #loss #Jesus' sake #Luke 9:22-25 #Gospel of Luke #New Testament #REC #Recovery Version #Holy Bible #Living Stream Ministry

[realityzap]

"... applies to everyone.  This is a must read for women, especially mothers who are burdened with shaping the next generation, but men would benefit as well. Despite the title this is not a book about religion, although Christianity is mentioned throughout for historical context and explanation as to where the ideas of patriarchy, and the Seven Deadly Sins originated from. Now I that I’ve seen them and have read detailed examples of how they perpetrate our culture, I can’t unsee them.  The Seven Deadly Sins are everywhere.  Our society is absolutely saturated with them.  My hope is that this book will bring more awareness to their influence, make us aware of our internalized patriarchy, and help us heal it by breaking free from these toxic, mythical narratives that do nothing but enforced oppression." — review of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good (2023)

"While I enjoy the perspective of psychological astrology, and the idea that we have three levels of health for expressing each of our planetary placements was helpful and new to me (similar to the Enneagram), this is a very basic book for beginners.  It sets a good foundation if you’re very new to astrology and offers a quick reference if you’re more experienced. " — review of Use Your Planets Wisely: Master Your Ultimate Cosmic Potential with Psychological Astrology (2020)

— Chelsea

"A society in which self-realisation is central proceeds from the assumption that people are essentially good — so self-realisation is a good idea.  A society that takes the opposing view of human nature will be focused on self-denial, because it’s all about keeping a check on evil impulses: regular monitoring is necessary, and a firm hand needed on the reins.  This notion has dominated Western thought, taking its penultimate shape from Christian ethics. [...] Both religion and scientism instil in the individual a split identity that springs from a sense of deficiency.  I am evil and sinful, or irrational and stupid.  If I make enough effort, I can become good or rational, and those in power will help me by continually monitoring me and rewarding or punishing me.  If large groups persist in their sinfulness (unbelievers) or stupidity (reactionaries), those in power have to take radical measures: mass conversion, re-education, or if needs be, eradication.  Even perfectibility has its limits. Both religion and scientism regard present-day humans as imperfect; true perfection will only be found in the hereafter or in a distant future when society is run according to truly scientific principles.  In both cases, this requires considerable personal sacrifice.  Believers must pray and work hard to attain God’s mercy.  The ignorant must study hard, and if necessary seek psychological counselling in order to attain reason through the proper insights."

— Paul Verhaeghe, What About Me? (2012/2014)

"Why do women equate self-denial with being good? We congratulate ourselves when we resist the donut in the office breakroom.  We celebrate our restraint when we hold back from sending an email in anger.  We feel virtuous when we wake up at dawn to get a jump on the day.  We put others' needs ahead of our own and believe this makes us exemplary.  In On Our Best Behavior, journalist Elise Loehnen explains that these impulses--often lauded as unselfish, distinctly feminine instincts--are actually ingrained in us by a culture that reaps the benefits, via an extraordinarily effective collection of mores known as the Seven Deadly Sins. Since being codified by the Christian church in the fourth century, the Seven Deadly Sins--pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth--have exerted insidious power.  Even today, in our largely secular, patriarchal society, they continue to circumscribe women's behavior.  For example, seeing sloth as sinful leads women to deny themselves rest; a fear of gluttony drives them to ignore their appetites; and an aversion to greed prevents them from negotiating for themselves and contributes to the 55 percent gender wealth gap. In On Our Best Behavior, Loehnen reveals how we've been programmed to obey the rules represented by these sins and how doing so qualifies us as "good."  This probing analysis of contemporary culture and thoroughly researched history explains how women have internalized the patriarchy, and how they unwittingly reinforce it.  By sharing her own story and the spiritual wisdom of other traditions, Loehnen shows how we can break free and discover the integrity and wholeness we seek."

— Penguin Random House, about On Our Best Behavior (2023)

"In a world where we’re often judged harshly for identifying and revealing our needs, doing so can be very frightening.  Women, in particular, are susceptible to criticism.  For centuries, the image of the loving woman has been associated with sacrifice and the denial of one’s own needs to take care of others.  Because women are socialized to view the caretaking of others as their highest duty, they often learn to ignore their own needs. [...] In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience three stages: (1) “emotional slavery”—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, (2) “the obnoxious stage”—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and (3) “emotional liberation”—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others."

— Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life (1999)

"Once needs were met, more income did not generate more contentment.  It would appear that the acquisition of stuff and property beyond the basics doesn’t up your Zen quotient."

— Robert Lustig, The Hacking of the American Mind: The Science Behind the Corporate Takeover of Our Bodies and Brains (2017)

"An increasing number of women have more money and decision-making power, and it was only a matter of time before this trickled down to their romantic relationships.  The more independent women become, the less likely they are to tolerate relationships that don’t meet their needs. While women are demanding that men be more emotionally fluent, men are still receiving a very different message about what their role in the dating world is. [...] “Health programs often view men mainly as oppressors—self-centered, disinterested, or violent—instead of as complex subjects whose behaviors are influenced by gender and sexual norms.”  It’s one big, vicious cycle, where men’s individual actions confirm the beliefs of health care workers and then health care workers continue to treat them in a gendered way that doesn’t respond to their full set of needs."

— Liz Plank, For the Love of Men (2019)

#women #men #needs #self-denial #money #good #sin

[swatmark]

Matthew 10:24-39

24 “The student is not above the teacher, nor a servant above his master. 25 It is enough for students to be like their teachers, and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! 26 “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What…

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#CostOfDiscipleship #JesusTeachings #Persecution #SelfDenial #SpiritualCourage #chatGPT #Cost of Discipleship #Jesus&039; Teachings #Matthew 10:24-39 #Self-Denial #Spiritual Courage

[howifeltabouthim]

. . . all sorts of new tastes were presented to his palate, most of which he relished, for he had been brought up to think that one should eat what was set before one, and not to think it was an offering to one's personal taste, to be approved or disapproved of. Such gourmandise was quite outside his rather puritanical range of pleasures, for he did not think he had any right to enjoy himself.

L.P. Hartley, from The Harness Room

#self-denial #puritanical #rigidity #characterization #bleak #sad #low self worth #quotes #lit #words #excerpts #quote #literature #resignation #l.p. hartley #the harness room