If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many support services that are here to help.
If you are located in the United States, consider reaching out to the National Alliance on Mental Illness HelpLine.
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[id: a man with long, sleek coily hair leaning over the top of a terrarium. A cocoon is inside, dangling from a branch. He dons one glove and a tassel dangles from the other arm. His exposed fingers covered in small cuts. Healed scars drawl over his back and chest. A small chalice with a symbol resembling a half-fingerprint has smoke wafting through the air.]
Revamp of Matillo.
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People like me do not have happy endings………
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He calls it an addiction.
Pointing out how a sly smile plays on my lips as I tell him about it.
He asks me if I like it. Since I almost make it seem that way.
Like I told him about a hobby I picked up as kid and still love to this day. And a tear appears - I blink my eyes dry and tell him that I don’t (like it). Words bitter on my tongue as I fight the shame.
I love it sometimes.
The way everything feels better for a little while. How it makes all the hurt go away.
Yet part of me hates it. I hate all of it. And most of all I hate how often I make myself believe I don’t hate it at all.
How this fucked up part of me has become a thing that my friends don’t even point out anymore.
He states fact & I cringe at each truth I have denied myself.
I am so afraid of all that’s underneath
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Concept: any fictional character who has a problem with self harm and:
The problem is chronic, not just a brief plot when things are Really Bad
The character is not portrayed as a bad person or repulsive in some way
The character does not end up committing suicide
The self harm is not unnecessarily graphic or romanticised
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"The worst kind of sad is not being able to explain why"
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if you or someone you know is struggling with self harm just know things can change 💛
you can read more about how to recognise it and get support here: https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/feelings-and-symptoms/self-harm/
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me: don't panic
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things to do instead of self-harming
wax your legs and/or armpits
paint your nails
draw where you want to hurt yourself
put moisturizer all over your body
ask someone to distract you
put makeup on
pluck your eyebrows
run until you’re extremely out of breath
take a very hot or cold shower
go for a bike ride
listen to some really loud music
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It was life-changing for me when someone said that all coping mechanisms were necessary at some point and came from a place of survival. Behaviours that hurt you now at some point probably saved your life, because they helped you get through unimaginable trauma or symptoms, or because they helped you survive in an environment that wasn’t safe, or they helped you protect yourself against someone. Self-harm, disordered eating, and other trauma responses aren’t stupid or selfish, they’re your body trying to protect you with love, the best way it knows how.
That’s why it’s so tough to break those habits and patterns, you can’t hate your way out of them. It’s been really helpful for me to reframe triggers and urges that way, instead of saying “you’re an adult you shouldn’t still be feeling like this, you’re stupid and immature for still wanting to self-harm”
I’m trying to say things like
“I appreciate the strength it took to learn this tool, I know it helped for a long time and it came from a place of love, but now it’s not helpful and we’re going to do something else because now I’m in a new situation and I have new and better tools.” (like journaling, playing music, talking to friends, going for a walk, listening to loud music)
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Reblog this for suicide prevention.
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Even of existing...
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