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#self-introspective
histrionicscribbler · 5 months
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my fav parts of the epilogue:
knives in sex bob-omb! the keyboard really adds something to that track!
ACTUAL STUNT DOUBLE RAMONA
todd and roxie!! mlm wlw solidarity
barista lucas. flashy ass. /pos
wallace and his bf w the SPARKS!!!
ramona's blonde and teal hair
HEY GORDON WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY "THE REAL GAME"? IS THAT A HINT AT A POSSIBLE S2?
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soranker · 1 year
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….…. yeah ok i just wanted to draw him without the jacket
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genderkoolaid · 26 days
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i think the problem that arises with "x desire comes from internalized oppression" stuff is not that it suggests we should be critical with our desired and how they are constructed. it's that some people have already decided the correct answer to that introspection. so if you Really questioned your own oppression you would know that Enjoying Sex Work Is Bad! and if you haven't come to that conclusion than you are still brainwashed. it is vital that we respect a person's ability to introspect on their desires and come to a different conclusion about them as an individual. & frankly choice feminism is still choice feminism when the focus is on Rejecting Everything Patriarchal instead of eyeliner so sharp it could kill a man.
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unbidden-yidden · 6 months
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Resisting the urge to make even more bitter posts about people I expected to be better
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afeelgoodblog · 8 months
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Advice to young me.
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bonefall · 30 days
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ever think about how in tnp bramble is suspicious of hawk until the /moment/ they visit tiger together? and then gets mad at squilf for expressing an opinion he used to agree with?
Actually! The moment Bramble stops being suspicious of Hawkfrost is when he's jealous of Squilf's magical telepathic bond to her sister. It's like spite. It fascinates me that you can read it as though Brambleclaw is being consumed by jealousy, trying to have everything that Squilf does, as though his "hatred" of her is coming from envy.
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smantss · 17 days
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introspect1998 · 22 days
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I'm a pile of unfinished things, unsaid feelings, unthought thoughts, and unlived lives.
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quietlotus · 3 months
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“We’re so engaged in doing things to achieve purposes of outer value that we forget that the inner value, the rapture that is associated with being alive, is what it’s all about.”
— Joseph Campbell
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tuliptic · 1 year
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How To Overcome Your Fears
Thank you to @bichou-angel​ for suggesting this PAC idea. Know that I love it a lot.
Piles go from left to right, up to down. Memos and notes used here are by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.
Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let’s scroll down to see what are the messages for you.
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.
Decks used: Linestrider Tarot Deck, Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Flower Petals Oracle Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made lyrics deck.
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Pile 1:
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How to overcome your fears? By letting go of what no longer serves you and by embracing your inner child. See, you’re prolly the type of person who loves to take things up upon yourself because you don’t trust others, or you are not comfortable with letting others to do tasks that will affect you (something like group assignment isn’t your forte cuz you tend to do 90% of the scope). It’s not easy to let go, but you have to accept your own flaws as well as the flaws of others. After that, you’ll need to learn to reconstruct the thoughts in your head where flaws are failures. Cuz you see them as something that doesn’t align with you, but sometimes (or most of the time), others may see your method as authoritarian and whatever you do doesn’t align with them. Acceptance is difficult, but it’s necessary, and that’s one of your biggest challenges to overcome. Be here at the present with willing hands and heart.
You may have a lot of nurturing to do, starting with yourself. However, instead of the feminine energy of nurturing, there's more of a… Divine sense to it. Along with some judgement that you really couldn’t help. Lemme give an example. 
You came across this PAC. Though your heart tells you to believe it, your brain couldn’t help but to be critical and just tries to deny some random people on the internet telling you that these are your fears and how you can overcome them. Someone online who doesn’t know you personally? Telling you your fears? Overcoming it just by “embracing your inner child”? Hello?
Yeah this kind of divine sense and judgement is what I’m talking about. It is not easy to let go of what you’ve been taught, which is good. But sometimes, you’re called to listen to your heart, only then you’ll be able to obtain a different sense of mental clarity, something that will be able to help you in the near future.
That aside, going back to the nurturing part. You’re called to nurture your inner child and to try again the things you’ve used to enjoy. For example, if you’ve used to enjoy drawing and arts, try going back into it again. If you’ve used to playing a musical instrument or composing music, try going back into it again. If you’ve enjoyed doing algebra equations and all, try going back into it again. It never hurts to do things you’ve enjoyed. Reconnect with your inner child through fun and play, nurture them, help them, heal them. Your life has been filled with a lot of confrontations, so try soothing them a little with some fun.
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Pile 2:
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Walking away from the past is what you need to do. There’s still so many fears in you because you’re still staying in the place that caused you the most hurt. You couldn’t control the things that have happened, so the better option towards it is to leave. But of course, to leave requires a lot of strength and courage, and it’s gonna be worse if you don't have proper financial assistance to leave. Either ways, you’ll find the courage and the opportunity to get out. There’s The Sun in this pile, but instead of seeing things will turn bright, I’m seeing it as a chance to get out. Toxic situations won’t turn nice cuz it’s already fermented and bad there for so freaking long. 
I’m also seeing fears of disappointing others in this pile? Which is why y’all tend to take up a lot of responsibilities and burn yourself out in the process. You have this innate uhh… Expression in you. It’s like deep inside you, you want to shine, you want the eyes of people to be on you. That’s why you took up a lot of tasks, even tasks that should be other people’s responsibility. You want to be liked. Thing is, you need to accept that your inner peace is more important than the visibility and fame you want to gain. Some people can have both, but are you one of them? If you’re not, you need to weigh which is more important, or you need to find a point of balance between these two. Sometimes, a quiet time for yourself, with yourself would be good for some introspection, where you welcome some comfort into your life, allow your guides to show up and send you any messages.
Treat yourself with care, give yourself the kindness that you'd want to receive. Letting go of self-criticism is your main task for now and know that your guides have been trying to send you so many powerful messages. Let yourself be free from your past. Know that your past doesn’t define you and you have a whole lot of abundance waiting for you in the future. It’s difficult to see it right now, it’s difficult to believe in it too. But know that it’s real. You’ve gone through so much, and it only makes sense when the Universe wants to reward you for all you’ve been through.
Take a deep breath, and let it all out. Do it a couple of times. Pat yourself on the shoulder for me. You’ve done well and you’ll continue to do your best of the day every single day. Expect a new you coming out bit by bit. Have some tea and welcome them.
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Pile 3:
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To all who picked this pile, I feel you a lot, because this is the pile I’ve picked and if it sounds personal, it’s mainly because I prolly subconsciously wrote it for myself.
There’s a lack of balance here, lack of control in this pile. This pile fears not having things in their control and tends to flail around when things happen because. They are not used to going with the flow. There’s this saying in Chinese that goes 船到桥头自然直 , which means things will naturally resolve itself when it’s here. However, my dear pile 3 are probably over-thinkers who can’t accept things to flow on their own. With this, the fear will make you lose your foothold and you’ll feel a lot of disappointments and upsets and a bunch of other not so nice feelings. I wouldn’t call them negative feelings cuz they’re all here for a reason.
You’re also prolly the type who feels caught up in the past, thinking of what you’ve done or said and how you could have fixed the problem if you said a certain thing. Once again, this is peak overthinking energy. You’re called to let those thoughts go, as they’re holding only you back. They’re not disturbing others but you only. Let the past go as it is over, and let your true self, a more experienced you, to step forward. Life’s a constant learning process, so don’t hold yourself too hard, let yourself learn, allow yourself to learn. Once you’ve accepted the fact that we’re all learning, then maybe your fears can lessen a bit. Remember, tomorrow is always a day of new hope.
There’s a childhood card present and it can talk about reconnecting to your childhood, to your inner child. Your inner child is like a divine whisper in your heart and you’re called to listen to it. I saw the word mirror and I think there’s some mirroring of activities (your inner child is mirroring something you do, or you’re mimicking something your inner child is doing), or there may be some reflection going on. Your dreams may be significant as well so maybe pay certain attention to certain themes that have been going on.
You’re called to take action now. Whatever that you’ve been wanting to do, now is the best time. Remember that you’re the co-creator of your life and destiny. A bunch of messages may come, there may be a bunch of things to do. But ultimately, you’re the one who needs to select which message to listen to, which items you should act on. If something’s too much for you to handle and you’re starting to feel anxious, try asking help and working with someone else to get things done?
Once again, remember, you’re no longer the you from the past days. You’re a new you facing a new challenge. Be kind to yourself. You’re facing so many things and it’s alright to let yourself be swept away at times. Remember to get up at the end of things or whenever you wanna fight it. I have faith in you.
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Pile 4:
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First of all, it’s time to evolve. Know that you may be an ugly duckling for now but it’s time for you to transform into the beautiful swan that you’re meant to be.
Next up. I’m not quite sure what the fears of this pile are, but I see that you tend to distract yourself with new projects so that instead of spending your time worrying about things, you can redirect the energy and focus on something new that you’ve wanted to do. You’re very conscious of your own fears and those who picked this pile have a clear and concise plan on how to manoeuvre around them, letting go of things that should be thrown aside. 
However, being aware of your fears doesn’t guarantee overcoming them. Sometimes you’re just moving away from it, ignoring it until one day it prolly gobbles you up. No fault in it cuz you’ll pick yourself up again and find ways to counter it during then. Still, have you thought of countering it when you’re feeling fine right now? Or you’re just confused and have no idea where to start? We’ll see what insights the cards have to offer you.
You’re called to stop taking up so many things and slowly let go of tasks that are burdening you, that are hurting you. There’s this Ten of Swords in reverse here, which tells me the pain they did is more damaging than wearing you down. You’ll need to utilise your thinking skills and let certain things and thoughts go. 
Another thing the cards are telling you is to make strong emotional connections with the important people in your life. It’s time for you to reconnect with your old friends and to maybe go for a cup of tea? Comfort of good company always helps in easing and healing past hurts that have been there. I have a feeling that these people are also here to help you to bring certain messages that you need to hear, bring forth certain changes so that you can transition into a new you.
There’s some strength in you that you need to unlock, so maybe it’s time for you to explore certain heritages of yours, and maybe you can get certain information or updates from there. You may even unlock a new skill from it, and it may even help you to be more at peace with yourself.
For some reason, reading also is significant. Pay attention to the words that appear around you and digest those messages. Maybe lyrics. Who knows, certain part of the lyrics may awaken something new in you, or allow you to cry out the tears that you’ve been holding in for so long that you never knew of. Letting them go only gives you space to focus on nicer things in life that can help you cope or deal with your fears.
Pile 4, your pile is one of the most difficult piles I’ve felt and I really hope all the best for you. I don’t know if my words are making sense right now cuz there’s clarity and confusion at the same time. Just drop me an ask or rb or comment if you have any questions and I’ll do my best to answer you.
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Thank you for reading until the end. Working on yourself, especially fears and past are not easy, and I’m proud of you that you’ve decided to work on yourself. Remember, it’s all baby steps.
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More in the AU where Elrond and Elros are 16 years old rather than 6 when Sirion is sacked. Tag is "older kidnap fam fic" for previous installments
Elrond wakes up draped over the rump of a horse.
Not, to be clear, his own warhorse. His faithful stallion is being ridden by one of the few remaining warriors of the Gap, the great cavalry of the Noldor, who will be able to keep her seat regardless of what the horse tries.
Elrond isn't initially sure who is riding the horse that he's been set over like a sack of baggage. His arms are stretched out past his head, tied wrists dangling toward the ground, and his ankles are tied as well, tighter than the hobble that he had while walking. He can't see anything but horse flank.
Elrond wriggles around to try and get a better view, and someone notices.
"Lord Maedhros, it seems your guest is awake."
Maedhros pushes down the middle of Elrond's lower back to pin him more surely to the horse. "Lie still. If you fall off while riding in formation you're liable to get stepped on by the next horse, even if the rider wished to avoid you."
"I know how to ride properly."
"Yes, I saw that you were quite skilled when you killed my soldiers, which is why you're staying right there."
"Could I at least sit upright, even if I have to ride behind someone else like an infant?"
"Maybe tomorrow, if you give your word not to escape."
"I'm not stupid enough to try and bargain with you again, after you broke your word about setting us free from the cellar."
"I never said I'd set you free, I said I'd leave the city and wouldn't kill you. Sirion crumbled in the first assault, but I did no more damage after taking you and your brother into custody. If they're smart enough to repair the castle first, everyone should be able to keep warm this winter."
"And if they focus instead on burying their dead, or rebuilding their houses, or rescuing their kidnapped princes?"
"Who knows? But I'm not king of even the Noldor anymore, and the people of Sirion are not my responsibility."
"You would just let them die?" Elrond wanted to glare at the Feanorian, and nearly slipped backwards off the horse as he tried to sit up.
Maedhros caught Elrond deftly by the bound wrists and pulled him back into place. "Next time you do that, I'll let you fall"
"So you don't actually intend to even spare my life."
"I agreed to spare you, not to save you . None here will harm you, but I won't rescue you from consequences of childish stupidity, no more than I will rescue Sirion from winter. If you would rather bash your head open rather than remain my captive, I am not so cruel as to deny you that escape."
Elrond had nothing to say to that topic, as his first retort about more palatable escapes seemed likely just to enrage his captor, as did any question about cutting off hands. "Where's Elros? Was he at least left back in Sirion?" Elrond wanted his brother to be safe, and his people to have a leader with his mother drowned. But he, selfishly, also did to want to be alone with the kinslayers.
"He's here as well, don't worry. Nornmalo has him, and I trust him not to torture a prisoner, despite what it may sound like."
"The moans of pain might be a headache, he drank rather a lot of beer while we were trapped."
Maedhros laughed. "Well, a hungover child soldier. He will at least bother Nornmalo less with questions."
"Could I give him something to soothe the headache? I know a bit of healing."
"No. A headache won't kill him, and he'll get water when we stop same as you."
They stopped only once that day, to water the horses at a stream. Elros was pulled down from the saddle - feet first, luckily, though he still landed in a heap - and his hands untied. Maedhros tossed him a canteen, and said "if you need to piss, now's the best time. You won't get piss all over the horse or your clothes, and we're downstream of the rest of the company."
"My legs are still tied."
"The ropes low enough you should be able to unfasten your belt."
"Are you going to watch me the whole time?"
"Until I find another guard, yes."
Elrond drinks little enough water to avoid the issue, for the moment.
When it's time to ride again, Elrond puts up a fight about having his arms tied again. That just gets Maedhros pinning his face in the dirt while a soldier ties the rope.
Elrond is slung back on the horse like a parcel.
They stop again just before sunset to make camp.
Elrond's hands are untied again for dinner.
The food is simple, waybread and water, and Elrond wonders if he should mention that Men need to eat more than once a day.
Far more exciting than the food though is the figure dropped on the grass next to him, clutching his own canteen and waybread.
"Elros!"
"Elrond! By Ulmo, you're alright!"
"I am, just a bit bruised from the horse. You?"
"Here's something for your healer's notes: do not put people with hangovers upside down for hours. I must have thrown up a dozen times."
"That's terrible! Maybe we can ask-"
At that point the guard tells them to hurry up, they'll be taken to where they're sleeping in ten minutes regardless of how much dinner they've had. Elrond and Elros focus on eating.
They are not, apparently, going to be sleeping near each other. "Too much chance to plot."
The Feanorian soldiers have tents. Some of them share, some of them have their own. A few soldiers have tents obviously designed for two or three that they go into alone.
The horses stolen from Sirion are tied to a picket line. It's loped through the reins, but one person untying the end would let all the horses scatter.
The horses the Feanorians rode into town on are not tied at all. They are loyal old warhorses, and will not flee from orcs in the distance. If wolves do sneak past the guards into the camp, better for the horses to run, and come back at their masters' call when the danger is passed.
Elrond, by contrast, is tied to a tree trunk. His hands are tied in front of him rather than behind, and his legs are unbound. Maedhros's brother - and Elrond learned from a careless remark that their is only the one left - even tossed a blanket over Elrond's legs, to guard against the chill of the night air.
It is the most freedom of movement Elrond has had all day, but that's saying little.
He is stuck sitting up, feeling every root and rock underneath him, unable to reach his hands back to where the rope is tied behind the tree.
Elrond sleeps poorly, stirring at every noise, whether it's a guard on their rounds or an owl hooting its warning.
In the morning, Elrond is given a breakfast of water and waybread again.
Maedhros says "You know it would be suicidal to flee, alone in the wilderness, yes?" and lets Elrond ride behind him sitting up.
Elrond's hands are still bound, and a rope leads passed Maedhros to the saddle horn. If he fell off, he better hope he can keep pace with a cantering horse, or else be dragged on the ground.
Elrond stays on the horse. He figures out his balance well enough to turn, and sees Elros riding similarly.
Thing continue like this for over a week, until they reach Amon Ereb.
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creatingnikki · 2 months
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I want to escape myself. And yet I want to fully embrace myself. This conundrum will be the death of me because it breeds inaction. But isn't fully embracing myself the real escape? But, then again, isn't escaping myself and becoming a whole other someone the path to embracing that new self? And you know at the end of the day inaction doesn't worry me as much as misaction or impulsive action does. I don't think it's fun to make mistakes and learn from them. I think it's stupid to make mistakes so freely. I think many things are stupid. I know I'm not one of them. It's funny. I think many bad things of myself. But not this. So, then, do I really want to escape myself? If there's even one good, solid thing you like about yourself, shouldn't you just stay? And because I'm not stupid, I am smart enough to know that you can keep some and lose some and change the rest. So, then, do it. What are you waiting for? Escape the parts that need escaping and embrace the rest. The relationship with self is not simple. It's the one complex relationship worthy of sitting through patiently. And repeatedly. And with compassion and grace.
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floorpancakes · 8 months
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there comes a time in every dark haired glasses boys life where he realises that he must become mother
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brain--rott · 5 months
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a never ending cycle of self discovery
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frnkiebby · 1 month
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you should do frank covered in blood like he's leaving the senate because it's stab say
Oh anon. my sweet baby angel anon. bloody frank??? is my fucking fave. Joyriding? Joyriding???
definitely search my blog for ‘bloody frank’ and you’ll have a PLETHORA of bloody frimages.
but bc i love him and your ask sm you’re gonna fucking get some bloody frank.~🎃
edit: i just reread your anon. i am dumb and just woke up. regardless. bloody frank. happy stab day.
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introspect1998 · 13 days
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I love liking the things I like
The way I am, the way I feel
With depth, intensity, and sincerity
Even if sometimes people don't notice, or don't care
Even if sometimes I don't understand myself, or find myself too complicated
I know I mean no harm, I know I still try for me
So, I still love the way I am, even if sometimes I hate it.
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