Life went on, but it was never the same again.
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A big part of my recovery is setting boundaries.
Setting boundaries with myself and setting boundaries with others.
I read an article and I never write down where I read stuff.
My bad yo.
The article was about how to deal with people breaking your boundaries.
They gave some ways that you can tell if it is time to set a boundary.
If someone is annoying you.
If you are the only one initiating conversations or get togethers.
If the person is insulting, demeaning or degrading toward you.
You feel more negative about yourself after spending time with this person.
You feel at mercy and like your time and schedule does not matter.
There were five points that the article talked about:
· You should, still continue to set your boundaries, clearly and consistently. Sometimes you may need to re-set the boundary or repeat what you said. Boundaries are hard and sometimes it is beneficial to listen to someone’s thoughts about the boundary, but you should still hold firm to it.
· If the boundary makes sense, then explain why you are setting it. Try to help the person you are setting the boundary with understand why you need this boundary and why it may actually improve the relationship. Explain to the person that it is nothing personal, but it is something that you need to keep yourself healthy.
· You need to set consequences when a boundary is broken. An example of that would be, saying that if it continues to happen then you will not be able to spend time with that person. You decided whatever consequence you want to set and which consequence would be appropriate for you to make sure you take care of yourself.
· You need to recognize that some people will not change or be very receptive to your boundaries. You are the only person who can decide if you feel that these boundaries are of importance and if you can compromise with certain people. Having a conversation never hurts anything.
· The last bit that I got from the article was:
Walk away if you need to.
You can limit or cut off contact. There may be situations, people or circumstances that are unhealthy and where it makes no sense to compromise. In life you may just need to walk away and mourn the loss no matter how much it hurts.
I actually took a lot away from reading this article because I was feeling bad about setting boundaries with some of my relationships. That guilt came back and where I would feel bad about setting the boundaries, but I need to stay healthy.
Life is scary, especially right now. Feel scared. It’s okay. We can do scary things.🤍
Keep moving forward as you HEAL.
What a blessing. Last week’s Inner Circle was extremely powerful. I felt my ancestors and divine beloveds come to bring powerful gifts of insight. I know this energy will continue to unfold over the coming days. A vulnerability I didn’t expect to express was made clear. I Am wondrously delicate, translucent rainbow glint wings, bathed in the warmest golden yellow light. My right wing is injured and healing, the left side of my heart has a taut and tense pull inward. A block wants to form there, a trap door tarantula shut, Divine feminine.
I fear the expression of my deep and infinite gratitude, it’s tears of appreciation shed and shared, for fear of being looked at strange. That shifting weight, shuffling of feet and downturned eyes as I seek their affirmation. Mouths that move in agreement of the deeply felt Yes, of love and to love. They see it yet they don’t shout & praise as I do. Instead they comfort me as if I am in pain instead of ecstasy. Of life I Am full yet they seem to pity me; my tenderness to life. They look concerned instead of exalted in the love, freedom and gratitude they feel. All this love and tenderness and yet we suppress the speaking of it.
I came here to sing, to dance, to laugh in full mirth. I came here full of innate Knowing, it spills from my lips as effortless ease. A Beingness I’m still afraid to embody. A fear of fear cultivated in validation seeking. Those downturned eyes and gentle placating stirring doubt. ok.Ok. To more gratitude and self Knowing. Vulnerability to me is the honesty of my delicateness and innate beauty. My fullness of gratitude for Love, despite your disagreeing, nay saying, reprimanding or judgement. Vulnerability is Being open to judgement. - @cyanpeppah Cultivating gratitude and joy; letting go of scarcity and fear of the dark. - @brenebrown Because the wound is the place where the light enters. The light enters. Light enters.
Draw in life force, transmute as the tree trunk does and simply receive the sun. Bathe your beautiful wings in golden yellow light and refract it’s Love; loving freedom, in each now moment. Bee. - TRU
An amazing autumn day besides Min.
How to say “No” Without Apologizing:
“Thank you for thinking of me, I won’t be able to make that.”
“It sounds like a great time, I just committed to laying low this weekend.”
“No, thank you.”
“I’m not up for that right now.”
“I have plans that night, and will keep you posted if anything changes.”
Something that has always been hard for me is saying, “No.”
I have been a people pleaser my whole life.
Even if I did not to do something I did it anyway.
For the fear or someone getting upset with me.
Or to avoid conflict.
Or because it is just easier to do it myself.
I have learned that in order to stay healthy, mentally and spiritually it is ok to say no sometimes.
I have focused a majority of my life on making others happy and doing what others like so when I see ways that help me make sure I stay healthy.
I like to share them with others.
Ich möchte mich wieder wie ich selbst fühlen, ich vermisse mich.