Heyyo! I’m back to upload all delayed posts when I was in Rancabali.
This is a very late post. I wrote all the posts right at the day, it just that I was too busy to post it all the way.
Another books post ‘cause I do nothing but rearranging the bookshelves on library. It’s sad to see lots of books were getting wet because of the heavy rain at midnight, so we dried it out immediately under the sunlight.
Luckily, all books had been dried out at 12 p.m so we could placed them back on the bookshelves.
That’s it for day three, I know this is a very short update. しょうがないよ。
Will be posting the rest of the delayed posts every each day. Stay tune, hope you enjoy!
For today’s agenda, I went to school again to supervise the kids practiced their dances and went to my family’s selling place nearby to a tourism place named Situ Patenggang. They sell roasted corn, soft drinks and any kinds of instant food such as instant coffee, instant noodles, and many more. We supposed to help them but turned out we only ate and took a bunch of photos there✌🏼
My eyes are blessed with such a beautiful sceneries. The view of tea plantations covered by the fog, sooo refreshing 🍃
went on a short trip to Paris with my sister, spent most of our time there walking through museums and art exhibits and eating an ungodly amount of baguettes, which naturally means we had the time of our lives.
“It is easier to live through someone else than to complete yourself. The freedom to lead and plan your own life is frightening if you have never faced it before. It is frightening when a woman finally realizes that there is no answer to the question ‘who am I’ except the voice inside herself.” ― Betty Friedan
I’ve done so much these past 2-3 months of my semester break. For starters, I began an internship at a heritage resource and management firm. There, I managed their social media and learned to do routine office work. I also learnt to successfully handle a DSLR and improve my photography skills. I met some very interesting people and learnt teamwork and patience (!).
I hardly painted during this period. This is something I really regret, but I suppose there is only so much you can do within 24 hours. I did however draw quite a bit, sometimes even my colleagues at the office, and worked on a few compositions for my next paintings.
The wonderful thing about the work was that I was able to document heritage walks and create social media campaigns that required me to interact closely with cultural heritage resources, and that was such an amazing feeling. It taught me more about the world of art already out there, especially native, folk, and the classical arts.
I’ve realized, more importantly, that art, like literature, does not exist in a social or political vacuum. Everything we create is part of a social reality, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not. Every work of art is politically and historically rooted, even when it does not explicitly state as much. And it is important to recognize this, because sometimes when we attempt to create so-called ‘apolitical’ works of art, we inevitably perpetuate dishonest propaganda. This is because nothing that we write or paint or do exists disconnected from our historical contexts. And that is why art or literature is not for the fainthearted; it is important to recognize the seriousness of the work that we undertake as artists.
I also read quite a bit, like I promised myself, even when the work hours seemed a tad crazy. I read on the subway, during lunch breaks, and before bed, specifically Barthes and Derrida; I finished Margaret Atwood’s Cat’s Eye and Brecht’s Life of Galileo, reread the Plato and Herodotus, and studied some academic papers related to my dissertation. I was also happy to reread authors like Sheldon Pollock and Hannah Arendt. Arendt’s The Origins of Totalitarianism is one of my personal favourites, and seems rather necessary in our age of rising fascism.
I have also enrolled myself in a postgraduate law diploma course. There is so much I still wish to do and, although I am still young, I feel like I have only so much time. Perhaps this also has to do with how society conditions women to equate our self-worth with preadolescence (haha), but that is a conversation for another day.
Grad school opens in a couple days and I can’t wait. I hope I have a great semester, endless conversations, and good company. Every day seems like a open array of possibilities. It’s a wonderful feeling.
I have this thing again that I can’t relax during my well deserved semester break. It already happened in August after my 7-9ish exams (English was 7th but split into three), and I didn’t get a chance to relax properly, do things for myself, because I was constantly planning, working, translating, doing things for other people all the time.
This break I went to the sea with zero things except for my journal and my kindle, and I spent a week with my parents in the middle of nowhere, thank god. It was good for me. Despite some tension with my parents, it really was good for me. Now that I’m back I have more strength to do more things again, and I can keep track of myself and do things for myself too.
I just don’t want to begin too many things at once and get overwhelmed.
Beli tiket masa promo and masa tu tengah stress study. Plan nak pergi Kuching memang dah lama sebab ada kawan belajar kat sana tapi tak ada masa dan duit pun satu hal juga. Ada kat sana selama 5 hari 4 malam. Tiket flight dalam RM 209.48 (include insurance), penginapan tumpang rumah sewa kawan, pengangkutan pun sama. So, jimat sikit kat situ la.
Total perbelanjaan kat sana dalam RM 500 (include makan, cendarahati, duit minyak kereta, transport pergi KLIA2, etc). So, total pergi Sarawak ni include tiket flight dalam RM700+. Actually kalau kira betul kurang lagi tapi include je semua perbelanjaan dari rumah ke KL, stay KL 2 malam semua, begitu la perbelanjaannya.
This trip was not properly planned. haha. fully depends kat kawan untuk bawak pergi jalan. cakap kat dia tempat nak pergi dan dia set hari apa nak pergi mana. Lagi satu, sebab mood travel diganggu dengan satu masalah ni (through whatsApp), 2 hari last tu dah tak berapa nak berjalan sangat. kira tak banyak pun tempat berjalan kat Kuching, so kira rugi sikit la, menyesal pun ada juga sebab terganggu dengan masalah tersebut padahal boleh ignore je benda alah tu.
Hello everyone! I still am working on my german document translation so I am pretty busy. Also I have this editoring thing that keeps me busy too. I couldn’t learn my exact rank at my class’ GPA ranking but I guess I am somewhere between 10-15. I hope I am at TOP 15 though. I need to be there, for being accepted to a summer project.
i’ll let myself rest this week. and it’s ok. i couldn’t rest the whole semester break. i don’t think my mind will be able to rest right now as well but i want to try to just relax a few days, sleeping in, having my workout whenever i want, journaling, reading, drawing and going for walks. making time for the things that make me feel better. i don’t think it would be helpfuk to just lie in bed and be depressed but i want to give myself time before the actual semester starts again and my free time will be gone for a while.
I’ve been endlessly scrolling through studyblr pictures for the past few days, in envy that people have time to study during their break, while I get blocked by work when for once I have the motivation to study. Finally, I finished work yesterday and my day today has been just perfect!
I woke up on my own, had breakfast, read “1984” for 2 hours, then went on a run, showered, made a salad and cleaned up in my room. Now I am finally studying (yeah, procrastinating with this post) and my friend is coming over for dinner!
I wish you all to have your perfect day, too! Love, Yasmin XXX
The hardest part of having to be at “home” instead of school is dealing with the people that have been around you for your entire life. They feel like they know you and, in my case, think that they know me better than I know myself and therefore they have a right to have their advice taken. Well, guess what? They don’t. They don’t actually know me, they know what I let them know, nothing more. This is more true for family, who refuse to be decent people towards us “heathens.” How do I explain crippling chronic depression to my grandmother? It’s hard enough to get her to semi-understand my migraines, how do I explain to her that for NO TANGIBLE REASON I have no energy to get up, I’d rather rot in bed than to try to deal with the same old shit. How can I explain that I feel like a failure and completely worthless and it doesn’t matter what anyone does or says that’s just how it is? She can’t understand that her resentment of me going to college makes it worse, but her pretending she’s happy can’t make it better. She doesn’t understand that depression isn’t what you put in is what you get out. It can take 20 good days to balance out one bad. I need to be back to school as soon as I can, I don’t know how long I can take this anymore