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xenwritings · 1 year

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Better Than You [KDY P.4]

NCT Doyoung college au

fluff, maybe angst, insecurities, reader has low social battery, softboydoie!

Doyoung has yet to text you back and you think to yourself how much of an idiot you were to get your hopes up. You force your eyes shut and try to fall asleep. The next morning there is still no reply and you sigh deeply before dragging yourself out of bed.

"Good morning there!" Johnny exclaims from the dining table. It was always funny to you that he always propped himself at the table with his morning cup of coffee as if he was already middle aged. You barely grumble at him as you immediately pass him to the kitchen. "I assume you are going to say no to my next question is then." He laughs. You give him a small glare before he asks "The guys want to go on a day trip today...we're taking the train to Daejeon and I want you to come with us."

"That wasn't a question John..." you blink at him. He always made fun of you for being so direct. But this was one of those things that only people close to you would get.

"Okay Okay." He puts his hands up in defense. "Will you please come with my friends and I to try this café that Taeil has been raving about?"

"You're taking a 2 hour train ride to go to a cafe?" you judge.

"Okay first of all...." He says before you can continue to judge. "Hour and a half. maybe. But yes that's what we do. We make dumb decisions and do random crap because we can and because it's fun!"

You give him a skeptical look before sighing. He internally celebrates knowing that your deep sighs usually meant you were going to agree with him. You roll your eyes at him knowing he felt proud of himself for winning. You walk back towards your bedroom knowing you would need to stand in front of the mirror to hype yourself up for at least 15 minutes. "Fine." You call out behind you.

"YES! You won't be disappointed!! The guys are meeting here in an hour."

You were right - you did need to sit in front of your sink and stare into your own eyes to try and talk yourself into the idea of actually leaving the house on a Saturday. Everyone was always out on Saturdays...the city was busy, the stores were busy. All it did was remind you of how little you were in this big world. You were just some number on a list. A face in the crowd. You could hear the boys slowly start to pile into the flat and decided that you should suck it up and actually push yourself today. Walking into the common room you immediately find Doyoung. He was glowing in the room full of men. Which you haven't noticed before so you shook off the idea that Doyoung could be anything but your brother's friend.

"Okay so I sucked it up and I texted her first." Jaehyun says to the group.

"I hope she ghosts your ass." Taeil pokes fun which only earns a frown from Jaehyun.

"Seriously dude it's been like maybe a week...." Yuta sighs. "Wouldn't it be easier to just find a different chick?"

"This girl is different Yuta!" Jaehyun exclaims.

"Yeah yeah yeah. You always say that. My turn ok," Yuta dismisses the dimple-faced man "How do I confess to a girl that really only sees me as a friend?" Collective groans are heard that the change of subject.

"Wow is it really only girls that you guys talk about?" You let slip from your mouth. Suddenly all eyes are on you and you almost consider retreating back to your room. But then Taeyong chimes in and says

"She is right, we have been kind of girl driven lately...." Your cheeks feel hot as everyone was still staring you down.

"Sorry I didn't mean it that way. I guess I just meant I haven't heard any wild stories lately from you all." you pander.

"Yeah ever since Mark got a girlfriend the boys are jealous." Taeil adds.

"Mark has a girlfriend?" You question walking closer to the couches to join them. Their eyes move around looking at each other as this is the most any of them have really heard you speak, let alone you are joining them on the couches??? to continue conversation???

"Yeah super cute and all but I'm serious guys, Trap has only ever seen me as a friend and I'm really starting to go crazy here!" Yuta attempts steering the conversation again.

"Dude!" Taeyong smacks his arm.

"Oh sorry guys I forgot to tell you that my sister is coming with us." Johnny walks into the room with slightly puffy eyes. You give him a weird look as you examine the rest of his face but he gives you a quick shake of the head to dismiss you. The walk to the train station is only hectic. Trying to round up all of these boys was very stressful when they were constantly getting side tracked and distracted by anything they passed by. You tried your best to slow your pace to stick with your brother but he stayed at the back of the herd and Jungwoo had already decided that he was your new best friend.

You knew exactly what happened but couldn't bring yourself to verbalize it to your brother. They broke up. You knew he wouldn't have the heart to tell you because he didn't want you to worry about him. Maybe it ran in the family.

"What's got you so caught up in your own head?" you hear Doyoung's voice. Immediately you turn to him and your eyes meet. Your chest flutters for a second.

"Nothing, just worried about my brother...I guess." Your eyes linger on each other.

"I'm sure he'll tell you when he's ready." He smiles at you, eyes still in yours. "Did you want to sit by me on the train?" You nod silently hypnotized by his gaze.

The ride to Daejeon was not so hectic as most of the boys dozed off on each other. Your eyes were also starting to feel droopy about 20 minutes into the ride. You were still unsure about how you felt about Doyoung. But it was hard to keep your thoughts down when he was sitting so close to you. All you knew was sitting in silence next to him felt comfortable. The most comfortable you had felt in years. You let your head fall to his shoulder as your eyes shut.

"Thursday sounds great, it's a date." That was the last thing your heard before you let sleep come over your body.

The rest of the trip was fun like your brother said it would be. Is this what it was like to have people in your life that cared? The boys made you laugh way harder than you ever had before. Taeyong was constantly checking on you to make sure you were comfortable. Jungwoo made you spit water cracking up. Yuta was still asking how to confess to a girl. Which you responded to just be direct and left him dumbfounded. But it made the boys laugh. Johnny continued to be mostly quiet during the whole ordeal.

"Your sister is really funny!" Taeil says to Johnny. Which makes him smile because this is the first time he's seen you glow like this since high school.

"What happened?" You stand at the door of Johnny's bedroom. He lightly chuckles at your question. Thinking it was backwards of you to check on him when he is the one checking on you all the time.

"We just decided that we weren't compatible. Mutual technically. But it still sucks." He says with his head hanging. You walk yourself over to his bed to sit next to him.

"I'm sorry..." you say softly. Mostly because you didn't know what else you could say, Johnny always knew what to say to you. "I'm sorry that this is the hand you were dealt. I'm sure this is rich coming from me but I think it would do you some good to be alone and focus on yourself. You have done so much for me already. I want you to do the same for you..." He hugs you tightly which is weird for a second because you two don't usually show affection. But it's nice. You feel closer to him.

You didn’t want to admit it, but texting him every night was making you happier than you had been in a long time. Doyoung made lame jokes but you would still find yourself giggling or laughing at them. He learned about your favorite childhood memories with Johnny and you learned about his fear of animals. The two of you would stay up late texting but he would still send you a good morning text.

But come Thursday and you were still nervous. Doyoung has been friends with Johnny for years now, why all of a sudden the interest in you? Were you just passing entertainment for him?

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Johnny pushed your door open.

“What? What do you mean?” You say confused.

“You had your intense thinking face on.” He sits on your bed. You sigh. “Oh it’s about Doyoung?”

“What?”

“He told me you guys were going on a date tonight.” He says casually.

“He called it a date?” You spring into your closet, ten times more concerned than before.

“I mean I think so? And that you two have been talking a lot.”

“Oh, I mean yeah I guess so.”

“HA! It is so a date!” He starts laughing. “WAIT. Does that mean-?”

“Fashion show?” You turn and look at him from your closet.

“YES. FASHION SHOW OH MAN we haven’t done this in years! FASHION SHOW FASHION SHOW FASHION SHOW” He claps excitedly chanting. Fashion show was usually one of you trying on a bunch of clothes in various outfits for the other person. It was a fun tradition that Johnny started in order to hype you up, or if he was the one dressing up it was mostly to make you laugh. Your happiness was just as important to him as his own happiness.

You and Johnny spent about an hour and a half trying to pick out the perfect outfit. The past week hadn't been the easiest for Johnny as he was going through his breakup. But you knew that his was of feeling better was helping others.

“Johnny...” You turn to look at him one last time before you leave the apartment.

“It’s gonna be fine.” He says to you from the couch.

“No, but like. Is this real?” You say to him.

“What do you mean?” He gets up to walk towards where you are.

“like, am I fooling myself? Am I just building this up just because Doyoung is the only person to show any interest in me in 2 years?”

“Y/N.” Johnny holds your shoulders. “You should take a deep breath. Doyoung is a nice guy. No matter how it ends up you’re going to be just fine. I promise.”

“Thanks Johnny.” You say before heading out.

When you got back to the apartment you couldn’t even find yourself to look Johnny in the eye.

“Hey, how was it?” Johnny says to you. But you quickly walk past him and into your room, closing your door swiftly. Johnny sighs and goes to lock the door of the apartment. Before he could reach the door he heard a loud knock. He opened it without looking through the peephole. “Doyoung? What are you doing here?”

“Where is Y/N?” Doyoung gasped for air after running to your apartment.

“She is in her room, I don’t think she wants to see anyone. What happened?” Johnny asked him quickly.

“I accidentally stood her up.”

“Dude, what?” Johnny responded quickly.

“Okay, but let me explain.” Doyoung says after catching his breath. “You know how I’ve been working on my capstone project? I finally got somewhere with it in the lab today. I was so excited. Meeting up with Y/N just slipped my mind.”

“I’m not the one you should be explaining this to, Doyoung.” Johnny says walking back to the couch slightly disappointed in his friend.

Doyoung knocks on your door and you reply asking for Johnny to leave you alone. He opens your door slowly.

“It’s not Johnny.” he says softly. You sit up from your laying position and look at him through your slightly puffy eyes. “Hi.”

“What do you want?” you question him.

“I wanted to see you.” He says he holds up a new sweatshirt, this time blue. “And I was also going to exchange if you wanted.” You want so badly to be upset at him. But you were more upset at yourself. You did build it up to be something more than it was. Doyoung was just being nice to you. You hated yourself for developing a crush on him when he was just trying to be nice to you.

“It’s fine. You can take the other one.” you stay put on your bed pointing to the yellow sweater hanging on your desk chair. “I don’t want either of them.” you lied.

“Oh,” Doyoung says slightly defeated. He goes to grab the yellow sweatshirt. “Can we talk?”

“I have nothing to say to you.” You lay back down under your covers and flip over so you can’t see him anymore.

“I’m sorry I stood you up. I finally got somewhere with my capstone project and it slipped my mind. But don’t think for a second that I didn’t want to spend time with you. Please give me another chance.” He pleaded. You turn yourself to look at him and he looked like a kicked bunny. You weren’t very sure what you were going to do.

“Please just leave Doyoung.” He sighs and grabs his yellow sweatshirt. He quickly glances at you as you were looking away from him. He slowly replaces it with his blue one and leaves your room quietly.

“Johnny. Can I ask you something?” Doyoung says before he reaches the door. He turns to Johnny who is still perched on the couch.

“Is it about my sister?” he says. Doyoung just nods. “Sit down.” Johnny points at the couch. Doyoung obeys and sits. “I know what you’re going to ask me.”

“You do?”

“Only if you’re serious about my sister.”

“I am.” Doyoung says quickly. “I really am.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you-”

“Johnny.” Doyoung says seriously. “I haven’t known her for long, but when I talk to her-” He pauses and Johnny fiddles with his phone in his hands. “It’s like it’s just the two of us in the world. She is so kind and honest.”

“Doyoung.” Johnny stops him. “In high school she started dating this one guy, who I did not like but I wanted to support her. He was a complete ass. But my sister was in love with him. It's not really my story to tell. Just know I hated that guy and that she's been through a lot." Doyoung sits in silence with his friend thinking about you. "She's a tough shell but for good reason. If you are serious...don't give up."

Doyoung left the flat that night confused. Should he give up? I mean things shouldn't be this difficult. What was he even trying to get out of this? He always wondered about you and why you didn't come around. He wanted to sit in your bed and watch anime all night with you. He wanted to be the reason you blushed and wanted all of his sweaters to smell like you from wearing them. The past week texting you was amazing for him. You are kind and silly. You are smart and funny. He wanted the world to know how brilliant and beautiful you are. He also wanted to protect you from anyone who thought differently. Hearing that there was anyone ever that had made you feel differently about yourself made his blood boil. He had decided.

Doyoung was not going to give up.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 |

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