#sensory shutdown

[freeautismhelp]

#autism things #processing #autistic #neurodivergency #audhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autism #sensory meltdown #sensory shutdown #autistic things #adhd #neurodivergence

[caffeinatedopossum]

For all my fellow ADHD and soft voice-havers when we get interrupted/can't say anything constantly

#bro having conversations is so hard #i swear my voice is literally at the perfect frequency to make it barely audible to anyone without superhuman hearing or smthn #the amount of times no one hears what im trying to say #so i cant interrupt because im not loud enough and i also cant TALK OVER people because overlapping words is #like the perfect recipe for a sensory overload/autistic shutdown

[crip-wizard]

This is a vent post

I was sitting in french class, and the person behind me (a known "popular kid" and asshole) was chewing gum. Very loudly. And I, being the dirty little misophonic I am, asked them politely to stop, to which they ignored me.

So, I ask again, this time specifying that certain noises cause me physical pain because of my misophonia. So they do it LOUDER.

At this point I am ready to launch a full blown nuclear war upon this bitch. So I slam my headphones on and march out of the classroom.

Later, the French teacher (also one of two vice principals) comes outside and sits right up in my space. I am thoroughly in the depths of a meltdown and have gone into verbal shutdown.

This lady tells me to calm down and act reasonable. She knows I have misophonia and autism. I pull out my AAC (an app on my phone) and explain that the kid was purposefully triggering my misophonia and that my response was perfectly reasonable to the situation.

So, being the well trained cog in an oppressive system, decides that her physically disabled, unofficially (as it's quite pricey, but it is on my file) diagnosed Autistic student, is faking it for attention. The Vice principal takes my phone (and AAC app by proxy of being on my phone, and therefore taking my current only form of accessible communication [can't just write it cuz dysgraphia] so I cannot communicate my needs.) And gives me a detention for "making a scene".

#sensory problems #misophonia #autism #autistic #asd #autism spectrum #neurodivergent #vent #tw vent #vent post #actually disabled #chronic disability #disabilities #disability #disabled #verbal shutdown #speech loss #ableism #tw ableism #tw ableist language #cw ableism

[monachopsis-11]

I think I may have just realized that my strongest masking trait is disassociation. For a long time I thought it was shutdowns but now I’m not sure because a lot of people talk about not being able to move and talk during shutdown and I could always do that, it just didn’t feel like I was doing it.

I would get to this point of complete overwhelm bordering on a meltdown and then if I was with people it was like a switch would go off in my brain telling me it wasn’t safe and then I’d just feel all floaty and blurry and unreal. Now I think this has a lot in common with shutdowns but it’s more like being on autopilot then completely crashing which is how a lot of people describe shutdowns.

I remember this even as a kid in the grocery store feeling like I would float away from the world, like I was inside of my body but not connected to it, like the whole world was out of focus, I remember telling people my dreams were more vivid than real life.

And especially in high school I had two modes, unbearable anxiety and overwhelm and just this constant feeling that I was dying vs. complete disconnect, like I couldn’t feel things when I touched them and it would last for hours every day for months.

So anyway I’m starting to wonder if I have DPDR (Depersonalization and Derealization disorder) so if anyone has experience with this I’d really love to hear your thoughts, experiences, or good sources of information on the topic. And for people who experience shutdowns and disassociation what are the differences?

#actually autistic #autistic experiences #self diagnosed autism #autistic women #late diagnosed autistic #invisible disability #actuallyautistic #autism #asd #autistic community #sensory issues #disability #autistic meltdown #spoonie #post meltdown #autistic shutdown #please give me advice #please respond #dpdr #depersonalisation and derealisation

[structuredsucc]

For autistic (and some ADHD) people, internal sensations can be just as dysregulating as external ones.

Feeling excited, hungry, or in pain can also be a source of sensory overload and can contribute to us shutting down or melting down.

This is particularly tricky to navigate when alexithymia or poor interoception makes it hard (if not impossible) to pinpoint the source of these internal sensations

#actually autistic #neurodivergent #autistic #alexythymia #interoception #meltdown #shutdown #sensory overload

[catgirl-catboy]

A lot of autistic people talk about feeling stressed or scared or worried when overstimulated.

Not me. My default emotion was always pissed. Before my parents told me about my diagnosis, it was pissed but I didn't know why or how to stop it.

Public school before they let me bring headphones was fun.

#I spent most of my life thinking I was a bitch with anger issues #I am kinda still one but much less than I initially thought #actuallyautistic #sensory overload #meltdowns #shutdowns #sensory issues #overstimulation #autism

[its-autumn]

when the lights are too bright and loud, my socks feel weird, i can hear the air, my sister is talking at the same time as my dad and my skin feels like i've got static pins and needles so my brain decides that it doesn't want to work with my vocal chords and its only fucking tuesday:

#actually autistic #autism #sensory overload #im not a morning person #actually audhd #vocal shutdown #please just leave me to hum and rock i beg #and give me my loud music

[clownrecess]

(Trigger warning for mentions of crying, overwhelm, dissociation, etc.)

Today I went to see the Mean Girls musical, and I loved it so so much, it made me feel very good. It was loud, and had some flashing lights, and bass, but it didnt bother me. I felt fine, and very happy throughout the whole three hour musical. Once it ended, I began to have an overwhelmed feeling, but it was mild.

The feeling increased the longer the time period after the musical had ended, and about 15 or so minutes later, when I arrived at a restaurant, it got extremely intense.

I began to feel so anxious and overwhelmed in this restraunt that I felt as if I was going to actually faint. I got super light headed, and I could barely move my body. I began heavily disassociating during certain times too.

The musical was much more stimulating than the restraunt, and yet I did fine at the musical and not at the restaurant.

I ended up crying after I left the restaurant.

I'm not entirely sure why it was this way. Was it because I was very excited, and love Mean Girls? Perhaps. Was it because I became used to the constant stimulation of the musical, and once it changed to a more calm one I couldn't adjust? Perhaps.

#sensory overload #actually autistic #neurodivergent #aac user #nonspeaking autistic #autism #nonspeaking #aac device #aac users #situationally nonspeaking #disabled #autistic meltdown #autistic shutdown #nonverbal #actually nonverbal #actually mute #actually nonspeaking #tw dissociation #tw overstimulation #tw crying #neurodiversity #disability

[lesbianslovebts]

Just curious, without capitalism which parts of autism do you think would still be disabling?

For the purpose of this question, let's assume that all my basic needs are met, I contribute to society what I can without it adversely affecting my health, and I have some disposable income and time for enjoying life. Personally, I would still struggle with the following non-comprehensive list:

Speech delay. I didn't start talking until I was three, and my mom had to speak for me to strangers, relatives, doctors, waiters, etc. into my teens.

Bullying and social ostracism. Even controlling for factors like social class, autistic people are hated and shunned precisely because of our struggles with social interaction.

Sensory overload. I would still experience intense pain in overstimulating environments, which includes "mundane" places like grocery stores, restaurants, and my own home (i.e., not just in a job setting).

Meltdowns and shutdowns. As a result of the former, I would still have exhausting episodes of uncontrollable distress and bouts of depression and burnout.

Anxiety. Changes to routine, unexpected events, and new situations are distressing even if they're good things like meeting with friends or going on a date.

Emotional dysregulation. I struggled with self-harm from middle school through college.

Trauma. Autistic people are especially susceptible to abuse of all kinds.

Comorbidities like IBS, insomnia, and a weakened immune system.

Proprioception, motor coordination, and clumsiness.

I could go on, but I think this gets my point across. And keep in mind that I have lower support needs. There are many autistic people who have more support needs than I do. Their lists would be even longer. Capitalism makes life hell for autistic and allistic people alike, but my disability would not disappear even if I lived in a utopia.

#autism #actually autistic #actuallyautistic #speech delay #bullying #sensory overload #overstimulation #autistic meltdown #autistic shutdown #anxiety #depression #emotional dysregulation #self harm #trauma #abuse #ibs #insomnia #capitalism #llbtsanswer #llbtspost

[autisticdreamdrop]

You're gonna have sensory and processing issues. You're gonna be over/understimuated. You're going to have meltdowns and shutdowns. You're gonna need breaks. You're gonna deal with autistic burnout. You're gonna get nonverbal/ semiverbal/ hyperverbal. And that's okay.

#honey #shane #autism acceptance #autism #autsitic #nonverbal #semiverbal #hyperverbal #meltdown #shutdown #autistic meltdown #burnout #autism burnout #autistic burnout #overstimulation #understimulation #sensory processing disorder #sensory overload #non verbal #semi verbal #hyper verbal #altverbal #alt verbal #processing #sensory

[spookysspoons]

Neurodivergent story time, I guess.

I was experiencing a verbal shutdown of sorts the other day. I was drained from a ton of social activity and my body was being overwhelmed with sounds and the fact that I was having an allergic reaction (making me really itchy) made everything worse. I was staying at a friend's house when it happened. I felt so stupid but they were very patient with me and offered I take a shower. I did end up taking a shower and it helped a little bit (hated the feeling of my wet hair, though) but I still needed some time. I ended up crying and stimming by rocking. I felt so incredibly dumb. Even though I could only manage to say very little, my friend was so kind to me. I love her so much. I love her. I was very tired and fell asleep soon after.

Takeaway: listen to your body

#neurodiverse #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #audhd #sensory overload #verbal shutdown #low speech mode #overwhelmed #story time #lav rambles

[thegreathomestuckreread]

been spinning my wheels again about whether or not i'm autistic

it would explain. so many things. and i feel like a lot of my experiences make so much more sense with that lens of processing the world applied to it

like at this point i've got over a decade of scattered research and reading trying to figure this shit out, including results from a smattering of self-report assessments where almost all of them place me in the autistic scoring range

but more recently all that's brought me to like. the emotional intensity of the autistic experience seems like a pretty crucial piece of the picture and i don't think i really meet that?? things like, i'm a highly empathetic person, but i don't think it's autistic high empathy, not debilitating like my high school friend who once started crying because i was describing an animal video to them. i have a hard time crying actually, it's something i do very infrequently. that's just one more specific example but just like in general, from what i can see the burning overwhelming intensity of emotion is kind of a really big part of the autistic experience, and i don't think i'm there, or at least not there with enough regularity for it to be like A Thing

and like i don't think i've ever had an experience that would fit the description of an autistic meltdown, or an autistic shutdown. i mean, maybe some of my experiences could fit into descriptions of a shutdown, but idk if the same intensity is there, and even if it is the frequency seems way too, well, infrequent to qualify. anything that might fit the description of a meltdown i think would be much better described as just a plain ol' emotional breakdown. and along the same lines i don't think i've ever experienced what would be called sensory overload

like even as a child i don't think the slipper fits on this stuff, i was perhaps a bit more emotionally intense than my peers but not like my autistic childhood best friend was, i didn't even really have tantrums that could have been mislabelled meltdowns

but there's so much other stuff that just makes so much sense. [i had a whole huge paragraph here but i've cut it and put it under the readmore at the bottom to cut length]

there's more. it's a lot. i've been adding things to this paragraph for at least 20 minutes now, maybe closer to 30. like there's a very good reason that i am still on this research thread after so many years. i just can't shake that i could be reading it all wrong

like all of the stuff i talk about causing me stress or whatever, i'm getting the sense that it's not with the same intensity as the autistic experience of that stress. like it really stresses me out yeah, but like. not enough maybe??????????? and that's kind of the thing with most of these traits i guess, i'm questioning whether i actually experience them with enough frequency and intensity that they would fall under autistic experiences

and like, i'm not going to seek professional assessment, because even with a diagnosis i don't know what that would do for me as an adult. the accommodations i got in school for my chronic illness covered any time i needed accommodations for brain reasons while i was in school, not like i plan on going back. and idk what i could even ask from a professional working environment

and at the end of the day if i'm not even seeking that what does it matter???? like can i not just exist as i am and keep using the tools that help me regardless of whether or not i may qualify as Diagnosably Autistic? i guess it all comes down to like, i don't want to water down what autism means by calling myself autistic if that's not really it. it would just be really nice to know why these things are hard and know there's a community of people who understand that. it just feels like if that's not it then what have i been doing wrong? if that's not it what am i doing wrong?? bluh

the childhood bullying and being confused as to why people didn't like me, the intense social anxiety in high school, struggling to start and end conversations that don't serve a logistical purpose, difficulty maintaining or initiating small-talk, how fucking hard it is to maintain friendships especially over time and distance, forgetting to fucking talk to people lol, literally all of the close friendships i've ever had being with people who are autistic or adhd or both, all of those people looping me in as neurodivergent without me even saying anything about it, my ex who said that when they were confused and frustrated trying to figure out what the fuck my deal was and complaining to their mom the two of them would use autism as a lens to talk out what the fuck my deal was and it was genuinely very helpful lmaooooo, my general inclination towards just telling the truth and how stressed i get about lying and dishonesty, the 'picky eating', the chewing the shit out of my lip, constant fiddling with my clothes and jewellery, being a 'high-energy child' (my mother's words) aka hyper bouncing off the walls, the specific noises that made me cover my ears and run away as a child (ripping up the bathmat and the sound of the vhs rewinder going really fast), the amount of stress i feel in unpredictable situations or when plans change unexpectedly or when i'm not prepared for a situation, how untethered i feel without some semblance of routine, the empty state of my brain when plans change and i don't know what to do with myself lol, how stressed the thought of not being in control of myself or being in an uncontrollable environment makes me, my systematizing and sorting and categorizing and organizing, when i learned what even numbers were as a child and immediately thought "those are my favourite numbers because they can be divided neatly", how i often speak in fractions and percentages, my attention to detail and noticing small details others don't (and sometimes having to pretend i don't notice things so i don't come across as 'nitpicking' or 'creepy'), researching and researching and researching for the smallest decisions, being overwhelmed with excessive options and just shutting down and not doing anything, general excessive indecisiveness, my god the fucking 'procrastination' on school assignments and communications and fun things that i would like to be doing, my 'literal' reading of school assignment outlines and surprise at seeing how classmates could twist the assignment and still do very well, my multi-year intense interests such as the sims 3 and homestuck and animal crossing, the fact that even when i play the sims i forget to make my sims talk to people until i realise their social meter is really low lol, how i lost so many things as a child, how if i don't have a written prioritized to-do list i tend to just faff about aimlessly and forget everything that i need to do and/or not get most or all of it done, the genetic factor of it running in both sides of my family

#spent over an hour spitting this out into a text post #it's been scratching my brain for weeks now tho #like i'd been mostly confident in my own assessment of my autism for a few years now #but the last few months. idk. it's about the Frequency and Intensity #it's really been bothering me #kinda culminating in the last few days thinking specifically about the meltdowns and shutdowns and sensory overload stuff #idk! idk #thoughts are welcome tbh especially if u are actually autistic #personal

[andromedasummer]

i graduated :)

#my face #me #my pets #jasper #opal #im totally exhausted and slowly coming off the brink of a shutdown cos the ceremony was a lot and #i lost one of my noise cancelling headphones #the staff were lovely they lead me back in to look for it and the band even got involved when they found out why i need them #(autism and sensory issues with sounds = headphones playing music/a constant tone necessary for my functioning) #but alas :( not found #i do have a degree tho which is nice #AND A TEDDY BEAR WITH A MATCHING HOOD LIKE MY HOOD #anyway time to get a few more photos and then shower get into pajamas and lock myself into isolatipn #in a soft soundless space for many hours

[delphiniumjoy]

At the moment I’m actually kinda jealous of the other autistic people who can have violent meltdowns instead of sitting like a frog in the slowly simmering pot of their own overwhelm, unable to do anything but turn statuesque and desperately hope someone takes pity, knowing full well that screaming and hitting and ripping their hair out is what they want to do but can’t.

#i had a bad day #two in a row #autistic shutdown #obviously meltdowns are awful #but I’d think they’re at least cathartic #autistic meltdown #I have had a meltdown before #I meltdown for emotional overload #usually frustration at not being understood #I shutdown for sensory overload #actually autistic #autistic adult

[louthingg]

going to the mall as me

those goddamn florescent lights

the crappy music they play out of those tinny speakers

WHY IS EVEYRHTING SO BRIGHT

those fucking lights again

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

i wish it was socially acceptable to cry in public

choose something other than hyper censored pop music, please.

OH GOD OH FUCK BAD TEXTURE GETITOFFGETITOFF

i would love to talk to that employee but my tongue is actually unable to move hmm i shall just suffer, then

TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS OFF

again, why do they only choose neutral tones. choose a dark brown, please god.

never mind, guys i’m leaving i need to sleep this off

#neurodivergent #autism #autistic #actually autistic #actually adhd #audhd #overstimulation #sensory overload #sensory issues #meltdown #autistic shutdown

[titan-god-helios]

y’all. i fucking cannot. what is wrong with the world. can we just please. stop.

#you can use this for whatever context you want within reason (aka no bigots of any kind fuck you) #but im gonna spill in the tags so #youve been warned #this is a vent #——————————— #so im in autistic “burnout” or AUNS atm and therefore my depression is also stronger than before same with anxiety and #all the mental problems #and my sensory issues are also so bad right now #and i find myself forcing myself to speak and sometimes even having complete verbal shutdown #so at the end of the school day today i was on the very verge of a meltdown and i was already in sensory overload #and just generally feeling horrid and dysphoric #i ran out of class when we were dismissed and powerwalked to a stop away from the one i usually go to #so that i wouldnt have to talk to my friends and actually have a meltdown and feel even worse #and i full on thought out what bus i was gonna take so i could have a quiet ride home and hopefully calm down and feel better a bit #GUESS FUCKING WHAT HAPPENED #my friend #got on the same bus. #and i love her i love her so much shes so fun to talk to shes great and i really love talking with her so much #but today #when i had already spent extra energy trying to spare myself from more masking and interaction #those efforts also were put to waste AND i had to spend even more energy talking for at least 40 minutes straight when i had hoped to talk #for none #and with no music to block out other bus sounds #so when she got off the bus i was so close to crying #and then i had to take another bus as well bc i take two to get home #and now im walking home in the rain and my clothes are damp and sticking to my skin and i think im ready to die now #/nsrs #but icl i kind of wish it was #anyway bye #tw suicide