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httpsserene · 6 months

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ʜᴛᴛᴘꜱꜱᴇʀᴇɴᴇ'ꜱ ꜰ1 ᴋɪɴᴋᴛᴏʙᴇʀ ꜱᴘᴇᴄɪᴀʟ

ᴜᴘʟᴏᴀᴅ 1 : ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴇꜱ ʟᴇᴄʟᴇʀᴄ / ᴍᴀx ᴠᴇʀꜱᴛᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ |ᴄᴏʀʀᴜᴘᴛɪᴏɴ ᴋɪɴᴋ

📖ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: innocent and virgin !reader has never touched herself before. she knows how to, in theory, but whenever she tries, she chickens out. her tried and true way of receiving pleasure is failing her. she thinks that maybe it's time to allow her relationship with her two respectful and experienced boyfriends, to reach the next step. and she'll find that they're very willing to teach her a few things. 📖ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ: 18+ only. smut. corruption kink. orgasm delay/denial. praise kink. dom/sub undertones. hair-pulling. possessiveness. slight choking (glimpse and you miss it?). brief reference to previous dub-con (very minuscule, not charles or max). no penetrative sex. 📖ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 8k words 📖ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: charles leclerc / max verstappen x fem!black!reader 📖ɢᴇɴʀᴇ: oneshot 📖ꜱᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: all mine • brent faiyaz

ᴘʀᴇꜰᴀᴄᴇ: the strength i had to summon to post this is something crazy. it's my first smut fic if you can believe it or not, but the way i feel exposed to the world is wild. i almost forgot to include the actual kink because i got carried away, but it's there i promise you, don't get disappointed too early in! can confirm that while i was writing this i had to take several breaks and stare at the ceiling. the black!reader is vague i think, it's not noticeable until the end, but i had written it with all shades of my poc girlies in mind < 3. n e ways: hope you guys like it!

want to be added to my f1 kinktober taglist? or my general tag list? send me an ask!

huge thanks to my beta readers @lorarri and @sweetpiccolo-blog ! i appreciate y'all so much :)

cross-posted on my ao3, htpsss

here's the link to the masterlist for my f1 kinktober special, and send me a private message if you would like to be added to the list to become a beta reader in the future!!!

it’s late. you’ve kicked jimmy and sassy out of the bedroom, and locked it shut. you’re standing with your back pressed against the door, staring with unfocused eyes. you moved your stuffed animals inside the closet and had them facing the wall even though you closed the closet door. the window curtains are drawn shut, and the only light in the room is the warmth of one nightstand lamp. one of the plushest towels max owns is spread across the bed. in the center lays a single pillow.

this is the last chance you have to get off before max and charles get home in a few hours. they’ve been gone for a triple-header, and you haven’t been able to orgasm once in the near month they’ve been gone. you’ve become depraved enough to consider buying a vibrator, but all packages delivered to this apartment have to be approved by max or charles to be sent up, and you’re definitely not bold enough to go out and buy one (and risk being seen by one of their fans or have to physically talk to someone to buy one).

the obvious thing to do would be to talk to your boyfriends, and tell them that you’re ready to start exploring the sexual side of your relationship. you’ve been dating them for two years now, and you’re afraid that they’re getting tired of waiting for you to be comfortable enough to have sex with them. but, you’re also afraid that once they learn how inexperienced you really are—they’ll make fun of you, leave you, and find some other woman who knows how to please them. you know that’s outrageous and never going to happen. they’re the sweetest boys you’ve ever dated (way better than that one dude you dated who tried to get you wasted enough to persuade you into having sex with him), and they’ve been very respectful concerning your boundaries. always pulling away when they feel themselves getting hard, and constantly reminding you to tell them to stop if you feel uncomfortable and that there’s nothing wrong with that, and that they’re willing to wait as long as you need, and will continue loving you regardless even if you decide to never have sex with them. so—of course you know that they won’t be assholes about your innocence—it’s just your own self-esteem, insecurity, and overthinking that prevents you from saying you’re ready.

you make a deal with yourself. if you can’t manage to get off grinding against your pillow one last time, you’ll force yourself to sit down with your boyfriends, stare them in the eyes and state that your ready to have sex. who are you kidding—you’re going to get off right now one way or another even if it kills you, because you definitely will wither away and die if you have to have that conversation with your boyfriends.

you walk over to the bed, heart beginning to race as you start playing one of those curated “songs i’d like to be railed to” playlists, before throwing your phone somewhere up the bed. you move to straddle the pillow, and begin to calm your heartbeat. you take a few deep breaths and let your mind wander. the first thought that comes to your head is the goodbye kiss you got from your boyfriends before they left.

they had gotten all their luggage together and were pulling on their shoes at the entryway. charles was pouting at you, wide green eyes and all, “you are sure that you don’t want to come with us? for at least one of the races? we’ll be gone for almost a—“

“yes, cha. i’m sure,” you cut him off with a firm nod, “lemme give you a kiss before you leave, okay?”

charles frowned at max who laughed—like he wasn’t the one begging you to come with them last night before you all went to bed. with a little upset ‘hmph’ charles leaned down and kissed you softly. you had pulled away, only trying to give him a peck, and charles grunted disapprovingly. one of his veiny hands rose and gripped at your waist over your t-shirt, strongly pulling you forward, causing you to tumble into his chest. “oh, i am going to need more than that, mon ange,” charles smirked down at you, “i am leaving for so long, and that’s the goodbye kiss you’re leaving me with? no, i do not think so.”

you glanced away from him, cheeks beginning to become warm as you make to hide your face is his broad chest. charles tutted at you, tightening his grip on your waist, and his other hand gently pushed your head up to look at him, “c’mere and give me a real kiss, pretty girl.”

you made a suppressed little squeal in the back of your throat, a noise max and charles became very familiar with, often present when they start teasing you. you surprisingly leaned up and initiated the kiss, causing charles to let out a shocked gasp into your mouth. his hand on your waist moved lower, falling to the small of your back and pushed your body completely against his. his other hand caressed your jaw, soothing you enough to allow him to control the kiss, as he flicked his tongue at the seam of your lips. you shakily sighed, allowing him entrance and the kiss deepened, a pleased humming noise in the back of your throat escaping.

you impatiently shift side to side on top of the pillow, not yet allowing yourself to get any friction. sliding both of your hands underneath your sweater—well, max’s sweater, and you start playing with your chest. flicking gently at your nipples, just the way you like.

you could feel charles chuckle into the kiss, but you dismiss it, and keep kissing at him eagerly. however, you failed to recognize that he wasn’t laughing at you, he was laughing at max. cockily making eye-contact with him, before he let his eyes flutter shut and devoted his attention to you.

max stared on, his mouth slightly open as he watched his two loves give him a show for free. charles’ hand slipped lower, gliding over your ass, across your criminally well-fitted jeans, and found its home on the back of your thigh. max is well acquainted with how skilled charles’ mouth is, so he knows he must have done something spectacular to cause a choked-off moan to escape you, your hand raised to grab at charles’ polo in a fist, wrinkling the pressed shirt. max huffed, deciding to no longer spectate, and took the few steps to reach you across the foyer.

you let out a shocked gasp, eyes fluttering open in surprise at the feeling of your other boyfriend pressed up against your back. you attempt to break the kiss, but charles doesn’t let you. hand slipping from your cheeks to the nape of your neck, tangling in the hairs there and keeping you exactly where he wants. one of max’s hands came to rest at your hip, while the other rested on your navel. your eyes fell shut again in pleasure at how charles gently nipped at your bottom lip, and max’s presence is pushed to the back of your mind.

you didn’t register max’s hand disappearing from your abdomen, but suddenly, the air was cut with a pained moan from charles and his lips were ripped away from yours.

your eyes flew open, and max’s hand was buried in charles’ hair, tugging his head backward and maneuvering it into what must be an almost uncomfortable angle, but with how pleased charles looked—you wanted to feel it too. his eyes rolled backwards, before he pressed them shut and re-opened them to reveal dilated pupils and half-lidded lashes; panting hard, lips covered with your shared spit, and a fucked-out look in his eyes.

you struggle to pull off your sleeping shorts, eventually managing to tug them off to reveal your white cotton panties. your hand leaves your breast to touch at your heat, and you’re shocked at how wet you’ve gotten already. you use that same hand to adjust your pillow, before you let your hips fall all the way and make contact with the pillow. you sigh in relief.

now, max is the one to laugh with his hand firmly keeping charles in place. “oh, you know better than to tease me charlie…” he started, and you barely heard him. fixated on the way charles’ tongue frequently slips out to lick at his lips, but you could hear the smirk max was wearing.

“and you’re also not the only one leaving our sweet girl for a month. you should be nice and let me have a taste too, hm? isn’t that right, schatje?” he directs at charles. max’s other hand made its way up your abdomen, copping a feel at your chest, before it rested across your throat. he wasn’t squeezing at all, but the weight of his hand, how it spans across your neck, and how you can feel the strength lying underneath his skin, caused you to lose your breath. he guided your head back and dropped his to get his own goodbye kiss.

the kiss felt like it lasted for a lifetime, but realistically it had to be less than a minute of max forcing charles to watch how he ravaged your mouth, before charles started whining loudly. max patted your neck gingerly before pulling away and laughing at charles’ teary eyes. your legs were trembling and you were pretty sure if max wasn’t behind you, you would’ve fallen long ago. in one smooth motion, his hand fell to the monegasque’s throat from his hair and pulled him closer, completely sandwiching you between them, as their lips met in a wild kiss.

your hips start to rock against the pillow, keeping it slow in the beginning, learning your lesson about friction burn the last time you got too erratic with your moves too quickly.

charles—completely desperate—whined deep in his throat and max kept pulling consistently depraved moans and grunts out of your boyfriend. max’s other hand moved off of your hip to smack at charles’, a nonverbal command for him to calm down and let max take care of him. you felt charles practically vibrating against you in need, but he slowly started to calm; his posture slackening and lips slowing, allowing the dutch full control.

the two of them were completely ignoring you. caught in their own world, putting all of their energy into their kisses, and in turn gave you a front row seat to something you're never going to forget about. you felt so small in between the two of them, like the only thing that kept you from floating away is the fact that you were stuck in between their bodies.

eventually, max released his grip on charles and separated from the kiss, giving charles air to breathe. the blonde stepped backwards away from your body, and you stumbled embarrassingly. max’s hands went up to hover around your waist (suddenly so shy to touch you) to make sure you actually didn't fall. charles shook his head, physically trying to clear the haze in his mind before he stumbled away from you as well, pressing his back against the wall.

his chest was heaving with exertion, cheeks flushed a pretty red color, while his hands went to tug at his uncomfortably tight pants, failing to adjust himself to make his erection less obvious. he suddenly turns shy as well—it probably doesn’t help that max was laughing at how easy he is to turn on—, and charles tries to try and tug his shirt down to cover up his problem as best as he can.

your hips start to pick up in speed, movements more sure and less shaky. the friction between the cotton pillowcase and panties is multiplied on your cunt, and when you rock down deep enough, the catch of the panties on your clit is nearly immobilizing.

thinking about the moment before your boys left leads you into fantasizing about their dynamic, and how they are in the bedroom. that morning alone proved who was actually in charge; charles will tease and take whatever he can, as long as max allows him to. you can recall many instances of max guiding a well-fucked charles out of the bedroom and depositing him on your lap, before he went on to clean up and run the monegasque a bath.

the multiple post-sex facetimes you’ve gotten from the two when they’re across the world always starts with max softly speaking, “i’ve worn him out pretty good, but he refuses to fall asleep unless he gets to call you.” and the phone is passed to charles, who’s voice and lips are ruined to hell and you have to decipher what he’s attempting to say.

you’re starting to acclimate to the current tempo, so you pick it up another notch. you lean forward, bracing your hands on the bed for support as you focus on doing deeper and slower grinds against the pillow, allowing your clit to get constant attention.

you find comfort in the fact that charles allows max to take him to such a vulnerable state, and sometimes—you even find yourself getting jealous. you started joining them to see their aftercare for yourself, and found out that you're aching to be taken apart and put back together like max and charles do to each other.

the sound of max’s constant praises of charles being “so good for him,” and charles’s constant stream of “thank you, thank you, maxy” has you losing all train of thought.

you abandon the slow-and-steady technique, you’ve tried it several times this month and it’s failed to get you to come. you bite your lip, letting out a frustrated groan. your hips slow, and you grab the front of the pillow with one hand and pull it upwards, hoping that a tighter space allows better friction. you start moving quicker, doing smaller more shallow motions and it’s tons better. you can’t stop thinking that it would be even better to ride charles’ face.

even though your eyelids are scrunched shut, the thousands of tiktok edits you’ve seen of your boyfriends post-race; balaclava lines, sweaty, messy hair, and all—are playing behind them. you moan out desperately, toes curling in your socks. you hear the phantom noises of monegasque moans along with the imagined whispers of dutch-accented praises.

the knot in your navel tightens, your thighs begin to tremble, and you can feel yourself clenching around nothing. this is it, the feeling that’s escaped you for a month, it’s returning, you can finally come.

you start to rut against the pillow, uncaring of how your wetness has seeped into the pillow cover and sticks against your thighs—if anything, it’s just another pleasant sensation. unfiltered squeals and gasps start slipping out, you’re too blissed out to regulate your volume at this point.

but then, a minute passes and you still haven’t fallen over the precipice. it’s right there; you can see it, you can even hear it, but you can’t fucking feel it.

your moans of pleasure turn into cries of frustration. your legs start to quiver with exhaustion, and the orgasm you almost had fades. tears spill from your eyes, as you frantically rut against the soaked pillow, not caring about rhythm or technique anymore. and your chance is gone, your sobs echoing around the room at another failed attempt.

you climb off the pillow and fall on your side, crying into the towel trying to muffle your anguished noises. you have the fleeting thought to think that you're overreacting, but fuck that. you’ve literally been unwillingly denying yourself for a month.

after you’ve cried yourself out, you get up and start to clean up the mess you made. when you lean down to pick up the shorts you flung across the room, you hear jimmy and sassy start yowling outside of the room. and faintly, you hear the front door open.

fuck.

a giggle slips out of charles as the cries of the cats are heard outside of the apartment door. max shoots a glare at charles for laughing at his children, before he loses the fight and a smile slips out in response to the monegasque’s. finally managing to slip the key into the lock, max speaks, “we’re supposed to surprise her by being early, cha—maybe we should’ve let the cat’s know when we called earlier today?” they step through the threshold, quickly shutting the door behind them so the cats won’t run out. charles makes a questioning hum as they both start slipping out their jackets, “they are cats, mon minou. i do not think they care about anything other than when you come back to feed them.”

max side eyes him heavily as he squats down to untie his sneakers, and looks around slightly confused, “i think we are missing a greeting from one more kitten, wouldn't you say, charles?” the man in question nods in agreement, while finally petting jimmy and sassy to calm them down a little bit. whenever the two of them return home, you usually race to the door along with the cats. you give them warm hugs and sweet kisses, help them take their jackets off, and let them know if you cooked a meal for them, or prepared a bath.

but tonight, they don’t hear the sound of your footsteps coming towards them. it’s rare for them not to be greeted at the door, most of the time you beat them to unlocking it, with the alarm system the cats provide.

charles questions, “maybe she fell asleep? we did not tell her that we moved our flight earlier. and we did tell her to go to bed because we would be arriving late.”

max snorts disbelievingly, “when has she ever gone to bed when we’ve told her to,” he starts, “she’s probably just in the bathroom or something.”

the two spend a few minutes paying some attention to the cats, before they begin to get suspicious at the fact that you still haven’t come to welcome them back. they straighten up and start heading towards the bedroom.

max pushes the door open, and everything looks normal except for the fact that you’re nowhere to be seen. the bed is put together, one nightstand lamp is on, and the bathroom is empty. max and charles stare at each other with matching baffled expressions, before you clear your throat in the doorway.

max jumps, “shit!” and charles flinches, “oh, what the fuck!”

your giggles reverberate through the air, and the two men can only laugh along with you. “oh? so you find scaring us funny, schat?” max teases gently. you pad over to him, throwing your arms around his neck to pull him in for a tight hug, nodding softly into his neck as you breathe him in. charles huffs after he’s deemed that you spent too much time loving on max before he pulls you into his own grasp, one arm braced tightly around your waist while his other hand cradles the back of your head resting in his chest. “she’s absolutely frightening, max, can’t you tell?” he teases back, defending you jokingly.

max hums, “definitely. where were you hiding, baby?”

you freeze for second as you pull away from charles’ grasp, before stuttering your way through an explanation, “u-uh oh, i was-um, i was just in the laundry room! i was just putting a few things i had accidentally spilled uh- spilled juice on-yes juice of course, in the uh-washing machine, yes,” you nod firmly, to fully convince them.

the monegasques raises an eyebrow at you and dragged out an, “…….okay, i guess?” max follows up with a sarcastic, “yeah….we definitely believe you!”

you narrow your eyes at him, “are you calling me a liar, max? because, why would i lie about—“

charles cuts you off, turning your head back towards him as he squints at your face. he runs his thumb underneath one of your eyes, and speaks softly, “were you crying, mon ange? your eyes are red and swollen.”

you shake your head rapidly to attempt to dismiss his worry but it’s already too late. max practically teleports to your side and scans your face and with a gasp he reveals, “yes, you did cry. i can still see the tears stained on your cheeks.”

you shift uncomfortably, “yes, okay! i did cry! but it was nothing serious,” you pause and mumble the last part of your sentence, “i was just overreacting anyways, it doesn’t matter.”

max smacks his teeth at you disapprovingly, “hey, don’t be mean to yourself, schatje. anything that causes you to cry does matter. tell us, and we can try and make it better for you.” the two boys wear you down with earnest eyes; the monegasque brushes his lips against your hand comfortingly and the dutchman tucks your hair behind your ears soothingly. they wait patiently and don’t attempt to push you any further, but there’s an unspoken understanding between the two of them; they won’t let this go until you explicitly ask them two. and suddenly, your resistance falls and words start rushing out of your mouth.

“im so tired, okay? i’ve been trying for ages, ages, and i can’t get there! everytime i try, i-i-it’s like i’m right there–right there! and then it never comes! it’s torture. the harder i try to reach for it, the more it slips away, and then it doesn’t even feel good anymore! i thought this was supposed to feel good–and now what’s the point?! i don’t even wanna try again if i’m just going to be–”

“woah, woah, woah.” max cuts you off, “what are we talking about exactly, schatje? have you not been getting enough sleep or something? because we can try and–" you interrupt, “NO! i haven’t came in a MONTH! are you even listening to me?!”

charles chokes on his own breath and max damn near faints. most importantly, they’re shaken at your bluntness around the topic; every time they try to ask if you’ve been finding…relief–for lack of a better word, you tend to snap shut if they use any ‘explicit’ words with you– you tell them not to worry about it. so, to hear you say it plainly reveals how much distress this has been causing you. secondly, the thought that you’ve been desperately trying to get off for a month on your own, is a paralyzing thought. they nearly convinced themselves that you had no idea about anything sexual due to your refusal to answer any of their questions—which there would be nothing wrong with, they’d be happy to teach you how to please them and them alone. it’s a seductive thought, the fact that you’re untouched, that no man has had the opportunity to taint you and ruin your perspective on how you should receive and give pleasure. they’ve been praying for the day you’d be ready to let them teach you how to be good for them. maybe that makes them monsters, for taking advantage of your naivety and innocence, and molding you into their perfect girl, but they stopped feeling guilty for desiring this long ago.

you seem to have missed the fact that you sent their minds reeling and continue venting, “i don’t know what to do, maxy! i’ve been doing the same thing, and it’s NEVER failed me before. it’s cruel that it stopped working when you guys left me for more than a month! no matter how i did it–if i did the exact same things i’ve always been doing, or tried something new, nothing worked! i was literally just considering buying a fucking vibrator! a vibrator, charles, i’d rather run naked in the street than buy that online and have to put in this delivery address–”

charles gently presses finger against your mouth, shushing you. he pulls you into a deep hug, rubbing a hand up and down the length of your back , the motion pacifying you. he hums, and it vibrates through his chest to yours, “mmm, we’re home now, mon ange. there’s no need to run in the streets naked–” “definitely not,” max jumps in, reacting possessively at the implication of other people seeing you undressed. charles rolls his eyes and continues (like he’s not just as jealous as max), “or buy a vibrator. i know it must be so frustrating, to not cum,” you gasp softly, “especially when you’ve been edging yourself accidentally for so long, hm?”

a questioning sound slips from your lips, “hm? what’s edging? i just haven’t,” your voice drops to a whisper, “cum.” max thinks that he’s seriously fucked-up in the head, because he watches how you bury your face into charles’s chest after your whispered word, refusing to make eye contact with them out of embarrassment; and relishes at the fact that you absolutely have no idea about what exactly you’ve been doing to yourself. he’s going to enjoy ruining teaching you everything he knows.

“edging is repeated instances of sexual stimulation and stopping before your orgasm. it’s called that because you are kept ‘on the edge.’ you can do it to yourself or with others,” max states in an unfazed manner. he sees you start to relax, knowing that you find comfort in his matter-of-fact tone.

a pout lowers your lips, “who would enjoy that? it feels terrible.”

max breaks out in a grin, slipping an arm around charles and squeezing at his tapered waist, “you know somebody who enjoys it very much, liefje,” charles blushes at the sudden call out, and watches the way your eyes widen in shock. max continues, “anyways, you may find that you enjoy it when it’s done properly—with people who are experienced enough to make sure you’re feeling good and keep you feeling good… and show you how to have a proper orgasm, hm?” max segways into the important topic, not allowing you to deflect any longer.

charles stops your attempt at hiding in his broad shoulder this time around, and firmly holds your face to keep you facing max. the dutch give charles a nod of appreciation and watches how he shifts on his feet at the acknowledgement; he might have to take care of him after he’s done with you, too. max allows your eyes to avoid meeting his, letting them roam his face as you battle your own insecurity.

“liefje,” max deepens his tone, knowing how you melt at any pitch similar to his morning voice, “there is no need to be embarrassed about your virginity and innocence. you had your boundaries set, and never bent or broke them to make someone happy at the cost of your comfort. no matter how much pressure someone applied to you, you refused to let them have you in one of the most vulnerable positions you could ever be in because you felt unsure or plainly uncomfortable with them. that is something you should take pride in and no one should make a joke out of your virginity for that instance. tonight, you can still make that decision if you are not completely sure on allowing charles and i the privilege of teaching you how to feel satisfied. we will continue to wait for you; you have the power here, not charles or i. do what is best for you at this moment, and if that changes, tell us so, and we will continue or stop at your will.”

the room is silent as the three of you digest max’s spiel. charles and max seem to be completely nonchalant about the matter, but they are trying to hide how anxious they are about your possible refusal, for your sake. of course they are hoping that you’ll accept their helping hands, or lips, or tongues, or coc—but, that’s not their main intention tonight. the goal is for them to start building a deeper level of understanding and trust with you, to where you allow yourself to be in your most vulnerable state with them. and that will take time; they’re not expecting you to completely reveal your innermost workings to them instantaneously. however, they most definitely want to show you how good they can make you feel and how good you can make them feel. and once you internalize that, then they can start working on showing you the wonders of sex—or plainly put, they can start tainting you.

you nod. charles eyes brighten and his cheeks dimple with the appearance of a wild smile. he leans in to kiss you in thanks, but max halts him with one finger to the forehead and a quick ‘aht aht,’ “that won’t do, liefje, i need verbal confirmation—words, please.”

“y-you can…you can help s-show and teach me how to…how to feel good. i am ready to have…,” your voice thins out, and suddenly you shake your head, eyes meeting max’s straight on in an unusual act of confidence, clearing your throat, “i am ready for us to have—i’m ready for you to fuck me.”

max wasn’t exactly ready for that wording and faltered, a little shook. charles on the other hand has to struggle to refrain from laughter. at the mixed reaction, your bravado slips away, and you add, “please?” charles loses the laugh automatically; your timid but desperate widened brown doe eyes stare up at the two of them, flickering between them anxiously, plump lips parted with your tongue flicking out—he has a few ideas of something he can offer to keep that mouth of yours busy.

max rumbles in satisfaction, “see, that wasn’t so hard, was it pretty girl? we’ll work on that confidence of yours for sure—but, i have a few rules for you first before we get started. charles, why don’t you tell our girl the first two?”

“number one, always answer our questions with words; if you don’t, we’ll stop and wait for you to respond. two, if you feel uncomfortable at any point, tell us, and we’ll stop what we’re doing and make it better for you or stop completely if necessary,” charles answers assuredly.

you nod, and max raises an eyebrow at you, “i mean, yes!”

max praises you, “you’re already doing so good for us,” he watches your breath catch at the sentence and figures he may have another praise kink on his hands, “you wanna be a good girl and tell me what you were really doing before we came home?” your cheeks burn and your previous embarrassment returns full force, but you fight through it, not wanting to break the rules right off the bat.

“well, you remember how i said my usual method wasn’t working anymore? i wasn’t lying about that. i only g-get off when you guys leave, andidoitbygrindingonapillow—and i have to put down a towel before becauseimakeamess. so! i really was doing laundry, i just didn’t spill juice on it…i kinda, spilled on it.”

charles’ hands fall away from you in shock, and max really doesn’t know if he can handle another revelation like this from you without actually passing out. you continue to over-explain, “and i i-i didn’t even get to, y’ know (oh my god, she soaked the pillow without even cumming, max!), and i got that wet anyway…and i can’t really control it, but if you guys don’t like it i can try and—“

“NO!” “PLEASE DON’T!”

you flinch away, and they apologize heavily for their overreaction.

“please, don’t, mon ange. i can tell you that max and i aren’t ever going to hate what’s between your legs, or what comes from there,” charles suggests with a smirk, before his face shifts to a more blank state “wait. did…did you have a chance to change?” you hum a little “mm-mm” glancing down at yourself still clad in max’s sweater and cotton panties, “uhm. no, i was a little more concerned with cleaning up the bed before you guys saw it so—sorry, i’m not a little more presentable—“

“are you wearing the same panties, mon ange?”

you freeze, brain lagging at what the monegasque had noticed. “mhm, yeah,” you whisper softly, playing with the hem of the sweater self-soothingly.

“can i,” charles takes a deep breath, “can i touch you, mon coeur?”

you squeak, “yes please, charlie.”

max watches as charles places his massive hand on one of your thighs, spanning the front with no struggle, and gently caresses his hand up, slowly making his way up your thigh. charles taps two fingers gently against you, and you spread your legs a smidge wider, and the sound of your thighs peeling off one another from the stickiness you leaked, reverberates around the room. max can’t help but let a moan slip out. charles slides his hand in between your legs, both of your own hands fisting at the hem of your borrowed sweatshirt, and you gasp at the lightest touch of charles pointer and middle finger against your soaked panties. max sees charles pupils blow wide and mouth drop open in awe—and he can’t wait anymore.

max presses his front to your back, sandwiching you in between them once again, and impatiently asks, “schatje, can i?” you let out a breathy ‘yeah,’ and max doesn’t hesitate to bully his hand in between your legs as well. he cops a more generous feel of your cunt, and groans at the state of ruin your panties are in.

“liefje,” max starts, “walk with me to the bed, please.” max pulls away, and unfastens one of your hands from the sweater to guide you. you turn around stumbling through your first few steps—charles sets you upright more prepared for your legs becoming jello than you are, and helps you over to the bed, one hand firmly set on the small of your back. max sits on the edge of the bed, man spreading comfortably, and watches how your eyes automatically fall to stare at his thighs with a smirk. he glances at charles behind you, who mouths ‘can’t blame her’ with a smirk of his own. the dutch pats his lap, “c’mere and give me a kiss, pretty girl.”

you rush to sit in his lap, slowing at the last minute, not wanting to sit your full weight on him. he huffs, and grabs at your hips situating you firmly on his lap, before leaning in and kissing you stupid. your gasp of shock transforms into a hum of pleasure, letting max have complete control of the kiss. his hand comes up to rest on the back of your head and moves you exactly where he wants, sucking on your bottom lip before slipping his tongue against yours. max kisses like he’s going to run out of time, he ravishes you completely. you squirm against him, pulling away to pant against his cheek needing air. max chuckles, and you only get to whine at his teasing for half a second before charles, who’s now sitting next to max, pulls you into another kiss. charles, on the other hand, kisses like he has all the time in the world, he draws it out. he keeps the kisses slow and closed in the beginning, pausing to pull away and thumb at your lips, relishing at how they’ve already swelled from max’s abuse, the surrounding skin already beginning to turn raw and sensitive from their friction of their facial hair. he continues kissing you, all tongue and sloppy not caring about about the way your hands come up to grasp at his chest in desperation, before switching to absolutely bruise your lips by nipping and tugging at them.

your hips jump forward against max’s, and he can’t stop the groan that tumbles out. you jolt away from charles’ assault and stare at max with an embarrassed expression, “s-sorry—“ max narrows his eyes and dismisses your apology, “don’t apologize for that. you feel good, you’re allowed to show that unless i tell you differently.”

“yes, max,” you answer, even though he didn’t ask a question.

“oh, you’re such a good girl for us, liefje,” he tests. and his instincts didn’t fail him. your hips twitch against his again, and a near inaudible moan slips from your lips.

he turns towards charles, “yeah, that works doesn’t it, cha?” charles nods, eyes still stuck on your lips. max smirks at charles being completely entranced, before turning back to you and clocks the glaze beginning to form over your eyes, “alright now, liefje, i need you to pay attention to me really quickly, hm?”

you hum, bobbing your head a few times, before you manage to get out a “yes, max.”

he holds your head steady with his thumb and pointer finger gripping your chin, “i’m not going anywhere, baby, take your time and focus.” it only takes you half a minute to truly focus in after your heart stops racing to give him another verbal confirmation before he continues. “tonight, neither one of us is going to make love to you—“ your shoulders drop and a frown is quick to spread across your mouth. you really only prepared for the situation that you’d tell them you were ready, and then you’d get railed into next sunday. you start to panic; maybe you came off too depraved, and he’s letting you down slowly—

“hey, hey, hey. no overthinking yet, let him finish, mon ange,” charles calls out to you worriedly, he’s experienced the same thought process you're going through before and would rather try and prevent the self-doubt from overtaking you.

max pets at your waist over the sweater and continues, “not tonight. we’ve just gotten off a flight, and had three back to back races. it’s late, and i’m sure all three of us are tired. we should initiate something like that with a clearer mind,” you feel a little selfish now, his points very valid, “but, i still want to give you an orgasm, okay? sure, you may not be able to get off by grinding on a pillow anymore. you’ve probably just acclimated to it and need to give it a break. so, to compromise: you’ll get off by riding my thigh.”

charles and max wait for your reaction. your frown lightens into a pout, but you’re disappointment doesn’t completely fade away. “how is that any different from riding the pillow? it’s the same thing.” charles laughs shakily, “oh, mon ange. you have no idea. listen to max and give it a try before you take it off the table completely.”

you shrug, and agree, “fine. how do i….uh how do i do the thigh riding, i guess?”

charles turns to look at max, wordlessly asking for permission, and max grants it with a wave of his hand. charles scoots up closer, and shifts your straddle from max’s whole lap to his right thigh. as soon as your pantie-covered cunt firmly presses on the muscle of max’s jean-clad thigh, a soft ‘oh’ croaks out of you. max flexes and relaxes his thigh once and your hips jump up and away from him. max and charles glance at each other; you’re ridiculously sensitive, they’ll have to see if that’s your natural state or if it’s just the result of your prolonged edging and the fact that you were grinding against a pillow not too long ago. charles squeezes your hips, bringing your attention to him, “i’m going to start guiding you now, you ready, mon coeur?”

“mmm, yeah—that felt really good, i want more,” you speak timidly.

“good,” charles states, and then he pulls your hips forward dragging you against max’s thigh, and a flash of heat zings up your spine. you moan, a small, breathy exhale, and charles keeps it slow at first, not pushing you down to roughly or making the motions too quick—he wants you to learn to love the friction again. barely a minute passes before your hips start fighting charles’ guided rhythm, and a frustrated groan slips out of you, not able to fight your boyfriends grip. max clocks back in from where he was watching the pleasure start to flicker on your face and asks, “what are you supposed to do, baby?”

“more-ah, please, charlie,” you moan shakily. charles smirks, “look at you, still using your manners like a good girl—“ a louder moan echoes, “okay, okay, mon coeur. i’ll get you there, i’ll get you to cum like you need, okay? i’ll make you forget all about your manners too, hmm?”

you stopped listening to anything after charles reassured you that he’s going to get you to cum, you believe him. he adjusts his grip on your hips and starts incrementally increasing the pace and pressure for you. your moans start to become more frequent, and increasing in pitch rapidly, the drivers can tell you’re hurtling towards your long-awaited orgasm, sooner than they thought. charles slowly releases his grip on your waist letting your hips take over once he’s sure you’ve gotten the hang of it. you throw your head back in pleasure, your hips have a steady grind and…and you’re feeling good. a suprised laugh slips out of your lips at that and shifts into a sharp moan when max starts flexing his thigh rhythmically giving you a little more texture to work with. max lets his heavy hands fill in for where charles’ and presses you down into deeper slower strokes.

you cry out, it’s a little too much for you, but it feels so good, that you bear with it, they know what’s best for you, anyways. max grins down at you smugly, and you start to tear up a little; he can still feel your hips twitching away from the pressure sometimes. not wanting to push you too far with that motion alone, he lightens up on the pressure but starts bouncing his thigh. the shriek you release surprises all three of you, but you don’t run from it, if anything you lean into it more. one of your hands fists into charles’ shirt for support, and the other falls to max’s, tugging it off your left hip so you can hold it tight. max’s grin softens into a small smile and he kisses your joined hands, and charles leans into press kisses on your neck, praise slipping out of their lips freely.

“doing so good for us, pretty girl.”

“yeah, baby, that’s it. take what you need.”

“don’t be shy, let those sweet moans out for us.”

“just like that, oh! look at that, you’ve leaked all over his thigh,” charles points out. max looks down and registers that his pant leg is sticking down to his thigh and the denim has darkened with the amount of wetness. “oh, yeah. look at that, baby,” max pats on the side of your face, and you can’t even recall when you screwed your eyes shut, but you look down, and a mortified squeal leaves you. not much longer and you’ll have drowned his thigh. the dutchman sucks his teeth at you, “don’t be embarrassed, liefje. i can’t wait until i can taste it straight from the source,” he moves his other hand underneath the sweatshirt, and slips two fingers between your inner thigh while gathering your wetness. he sucks on one finger moaning explicitly at your taste, before offering both fingers to charles to clean off. the monegasque flicks his tongue out teasingly tasting them first, before he makes a quick motion of sucking them in and fully running his tongue in every crevice to get every last drop of your taste.

you moans start to become pitchy little ah-ah-ah’s, and you frantically start rabbiting your hips. you’re so close. max squeezes you hand, and starts up the praise again.

“i wasn’t joking, schatje. when i finally get my mouth on your pretty little cunt, you won’t be able to pull me off of you until i force at least three orgasms out of you.”

charles pulls off of max’s fingers and adds, “i need to give her three or four from my mouth too. i don’t think she’ll be able to handle that many.”

“yes, she can. she’s such a good girl for us, she’d let us keep going until we tell her when she’s done.”

“mmm, yeah—she’s right there, look at that cute little face she’s making.”

“her pretty little o-mouth, we should fill that up for her too.”

“thinkin i’ll fill that sweet little cunt of hers first with my dick—“

what escapes your mouth is definitely a scream, and max can’t bring himself to muffle it even though it’s the middle of the night. he pays a hefty sum of money for this penthouse, they can deal with hearing how charles and him make you scream with pleasure. your orgasm completely whites-out all of your senses; ears ringing, eyes rolled back, skin feeling raw and thighs shaking. max and charles work your hips back and forth a few more times, helping you with the aftershocks until you squirm out of their hands. you fall forward into max’s chest, body trembling, and tears streaming down your face.

max cradles you close and scratches at your head, calling your name a few times to get a gauge of how out of it you are. with no verbal response, he sends charles to get water and a towel to clean you up. max softly murmurs praises at you constantly, and charles joins in with the affirmations when he returns. the both clean you up when you’re still floating; they put you in an oversized tee, not bothering with undergarments, wiping all wetness and cream away from between your legs trying to avoid looking at your cunt directly, they even manage to get your bonnet on for you, and even have time to change the duvet before you start becoming aware again.

you turn and automatically move to snuggle into the crook of max’s neck, but he gently presses a straw to your mouth so you can hydrate after the amount of fluids you seem to have lost. your eyes open, and you croak out a disapproving hum at not being able to go to sleep, and max shakes his head at you, “drink, schat. non-negotiable, pretty girl.” after slowly draining ¾ of the bottle, you pull away and with a shattered voice, start mumbling, “thank you, thank you, thank you—“

and charles leans over to cut you off with a soft press of lips, “no, thank you for letting us give you that, mon coeur.” you hum, whispering out, “i love you, charlie. i love you, maxy.”

they both respond with resounding ‘i-love-you’s back, and start soft conversation just checking up on you before they let you fall asleep.

“i’ve never felt this good before from an orgasm,” you start, “i wanna—i wanna keep being good for you guys. i wanna learn how to feel good like this again, and i want you both to show me how because i trust you. please?”. charles and max both murmur affirmatives to you, and you continue speaking softly, “you guys can take showers now, i’ll probably be asleep before you come back.” after making sure you’re truly comfortable, max and charles head to the en-suite to take the world’s speediest shower so they can cuddle up with you sooner.

shutting the door, max and charles stare at each other in completely silence. charles starts, “are we sure that we’re the ones corrupting her and she’s not corrupting us? because, i’ve almost came in my pants three times tonight.”

max stares at charles with unseeing eyes, “i will never forgot the way she soaked my fucking leg, charles…i’m pretty sure i did come in my pants.”

3K notes · View notes

gh0stsp1d3r · 1 year

Note

Ooo hiya!! (I ranted a lot lol)🥰🍊💜

Can I please request a Tangerine x fem!civilian/innocent!reader where she was on the Bullet Train. She was walking to her seat, and when Kimura ran into the snack cart, he also ran into her, causing her to trip, falling onto Tangerine’s lap and him catching her (oh he would have a field day lol). Y/n being like 😳 as she realizes she’s been sitting on his lap for a good 10 seconds staring at him with wide eyes, her hands on his chest (once again, he’d have a field day lol, soo much flirting would ensue, he’d enjoy how flustered she’d get). Her stuttering, apologizing, and jumping up out of his arms and scurrying to her seat, which happens to be right across from Tan and Lemon’s.😂 He then spends the whole time on that train protecting (and flirting with) Y/n and when Lemon, Tangerine, and Y/n escape the train (Tan carrying a very scared Y/n), Y/n doesn’t want to leave Tan + they bring her to their safe house with them🥺

I love this.

Flustered

This was the last situation that tangerine had been worried about while on any mission.

You had been walking, and a nice lady with a snack cart was behind you. But suddenly, you didn’t hear or see a man behind you. He pushed you aside.

“Oi! Watch where you’re goin’.” Another man said. Except the voice was much closer. You didn’t even realize you were in his lap until you looked and opened your eyes.

“S- sorry.” The other man apologized and quickly walked away.

“You alright, love?” The man asked, he had a hand on your back and tried to help you get up. You stared at his eyes, trying to find words.

“I- uh- I- yeah! I’m fine. Thanks uh, for catching me. Sorry, for the…” You laughed nervously after a little and quickly stood up.you looked around and sat back down at your seat. Which was right across from him and some other guy.

He smiled. He noticed that you seemed flustered, and decided to use it to his advantage.

“It’s quite alright, no worries, darling. I would say it’s more lucky to have a pretty girl fall into your lap, wouldn’t you think?”

Pretty? You thought. And Lemon scoffed at him.

“I- well- uh- thanks. Your also pretty.” You mentally winced as the words came out your mouth.

“You seriously trying to pick up a girl while on a job?” Lemon asked him quietly, quiet enough that you didn’t hear. You looked out the window and had your headphones in.

“I’m not. They just happen to fall in my lap.” He glanced at you.

“Wow, that was surprisingly clever.” Lemon rolled his eyes, And tangerine just sent him a scowl.

“Just sayin’, mate.” He laughed at his anger.

“Whatever. Can we get back on task?”

“Sure, sure, sure.”

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

After some talking between you and tangerine, he learned your name and you learned his. Yoh even learned that the guy next to him was his brother, Lemon. You both said your stops were Kyoto station.

Some man pointed a gun at Lemon, and another man sat next the both of them. That man died, and you were left confused and scared.

You decided to sleep it off, and getting off at the next station. Maybe you were dreaming, and you would wake up when you went to sleep in the dream.

(Let’s just say in this that Lemon, Ladybug, and Tangerine left early like Ladybug suggested)

“Hey. Wake up.” Someone shook you, and you looked confused, until you saw tangerine.

“Tangerine?” You muttered.

“Yeah, uh, we should get off. Like right now.”

“We’re there already?”

“Uh… yeah. So, c’mon, hurry.” He grabbed your hand and tan quickly, and the doors started to close but you guys luckily beat it.

“That was a close one, mate.” Lemon said.

“Aren’t you the same guy that pulled a gun on him?” You mumbled, and pointed to ladybug.

“Oh. Yeah. But we’re all good now.”

“So now what the fuck do we do?” You asked.

“I have a safehouse nearby.” Ladybug said.

“I’m sorry, who are you again?” You asked.

“I’m.. ladybug.”

“What’s with all the weird names? Lemon, tangerine and ladybug?”

“We’re contract killers. They’re just nicknames.” Lemon said plainly.

“What..? Seriously?”

“Not me. I just usually do snatch and grabs, Y’Know, steal things, but I’m covering someone.” Ladybug said.

“Why’d you take me out the train early?” You asked Tangerine as all of you walked to the house.

“Cause the rest of the train is full of murderous bastards that are all about to die. You seemed like the only trustworthy person on there.”

“Nah, he just wants to take you on a date.” Lemon said, laughing as his brother hit him in the arm.

“That too, I guess.” Tangerine said.

“Okay, so let me get this straight, first I somehow run into you because some guy ran into me and I fell in your lap, Ladybug pointed a gun at your brother and it’s all good now, some guy was dead next to you, you all are contract killers, and the train was full of murderers?”

“Yeah. Basically.”

“And now you wanna take me on a date.”

“Yeah.”

“Weird.. but Sure, why not.” You shrugged.

Sure, maybe you were going out with somewhat of a stranger, but it was a cute stranger, and he just saved you. You were glad you fell into his lap.

(I don’t like this that much but hopefully it’s not terrible)

#tangerine x reader #bullet train #bullet train x reader #aaron taylor johnson #tangerine bullet train #aaron taylor johnson x reader #tangerine

3K notes · View notes

eeunoia · 5 months

Text

ENHYPEN Imagines

agape | sjy.

pairings: sim jaeyun x reader

synopsis: his pretty wings in exchange of the ability to walk over this sinful land. his immortality in exchange of a life where he can be with you. his loyalty in exchange to own and have you for himself. all of these, jake was willing to do. he’s a servant of God who turned into a sinner and you are his sin he happily committed.

word count: 12k

warnings: suic*de, suggestive themes (a little), angels/heaven vaguely mentioned, not proof read, wrong grammar (be nice).

special note: i just want to put disclaimer that this fic have no intention to disrespect any religion and so is God or anything heaven related. not everything written here are legit and purely from my imagination.

note: okay, first of all, i’m not so sure how i did with this fic. at first i thought i will put yandere theme here, but ends up going somewhere else. i hope you will like this because i did enjoyed writing this. let me know what you think about this fic through my asks. send asks please, it does help me a lot. thank you. ily and keep safe.

fic moodboard › here

Angels are known for their obedience, loyalty and beautiful appearance. With pretty wings and calm composure, they are often labelled only with good words. They have said to be the ones sent down to earth for various missions. They patrol the areas to deter crime.

Sometimes, they are tasked to guide someone back to heaven. Sometimes they are asked to do something else. But one of the main jobs an archangel can have is to look over a person and serve as their guardian angel. It said to be a very hard task, the hardest out of all. The angels sent for this mission are meticulously and strictly picked.

“They’re sending you then?” one of the angels asked the smiling boy. His eyes sparkles innocently together with his big beautiful wings.

Jaeyun stands out a lot from the other angels, not only because of his big pretty wings that are very unique, but also because of his ethereal visuals that made him even more distinct. Some says he was meant for this, that being an angel fits him like a puzzle piece. None can go against that thought as the said angel sure really look heavenly. With his blonde hair, sparkling eyes, pointy nose and plump red lips. He’s breathtaking.

“Yes. The higher rank archangel called me a while ago and gave me the name of the person I will soon look after to.” the boy’s fist balled in excitement. He looked giddy, hyper to the extent that he couldn’t keep himself from moving.

The angels around him showed an amused and curious expression. “That’s great! Is it a girl or a boy?”

He smiles, “A girl.”

They nodded their heads, “What’s her name?”

“Y/n.”

Saying that he’s excited was an understatement. His hands continuously fidgets, his lips caught in between his teeth and feet thumps in a distinct beat. The older angel turns his head and a smile breaks to his face at the younger one.

“You look so excited.”

“I am Sir!” and he even made a small dances.

He chuckles and guided him towards somewhere. His eyes grew a little big in amusement and his lips parted a bit. He heard about this part of their kingdom multiple times, how amazing and ethereal it was. But Jaeyun was beyond amused. It was nothing you can put into words to properly give justice to this magical place.

One by one, the upper angel tries to fill information to young, freshman, Jaeyun. He’s so adorably looking around, curious of every bits of his surroundings. How can he not be excited? He’s been waiting for this major role he finally gained himself for and now that he’s here he’s exhilirated. He promised he will do his best to serve only for the greater good.

“You will be looking after Y/n. She’s about your age.” he starts and shows him this beautiful girl that is currently studying inside a place he assumes to be her room.

Jaeyun was speechless that moment. His wide smile faltered for a bit, his throat felt dry, his chest tightens for an unknown reason and he just stared at the girl. Suddenly he felt like his heart are frantically beating. It was already like that moments before because of excitement, but now he feels like there’s just so much more.

The upper angel notices his behavior and didn’t take it as something serious. It wasn’t that unusual as it happens before whenever one gets to meet their first human to look after to. Angels naturally have this personality to adore and see humans as precious creatures. They just love them to bits and enjoys being around them.

Realizing that the younger one still couldn’t find the words to say, he decided to talk.

“Her previous guardian angel was tasked something different so we needed a new angel to guide her.”

Jaeyun finally snaps out of his trance and nodded. His eyes sparkles before he glanced back at you, looking distress while holding a thing that comes in a shape of a rectangle. You don’t look fascinated at what you’re looking at and rather frustrated painted over your face.

He was instructed that he will be sent to you right away. He doesn’t need to be hold back or stay for some kind of orientation about it. He was basically trained for this. He’s beeb preparing for this for as long as he can remember. Its one of the reason why they exist.

After giving some few reminders, he was guided towards somewhere. Jaeyun couldn’t hold his excitement to himself, lips stretched from side to side of his face, eyes so bright you can see from a distant how happy he is, and he cannot help to hop as he walks. Its the best day for him.

‘Jaeyun,’ a soft, almost impossible to hear sound of a voice calling his name made him halt from his steps.

He craned his neck to the sides, hoping to see someone calling out for him. The upper angel was already steps ahead of him, unaware of the interruption over to the younger one. Jake continues to turn his head, until he saw this gate. It was huge that even when you look up to try and see its end, it wasn’t visible. Cotton like clouds surrounds the golden metals that serves as a boundary between Jaeyun and the place on the other side.

He furrow his brows and approached closer, trying to take a peak through those metal gates. From where he is, he can see a staircase. It looks so magical.

Jaeyun gulps as he felt his breath slowly being taken away, astonished by the scenery right in front of him. Unconsciously, his hand extends towards the gate and before his bare fingers touch the metal object, a hand cease him.

His head snaps over to the side and he saw the upper angel. Jaeyun blushes out of shame. He doesn’t look mad, but he’s looming of something as he stares at him.

“Jaeyun,” he calls out like as if he was almost too late.

“You shouldn’t go near this gate.” he added that fueled more to his humiliation.

He didn’t know why he got too distracted to this place and comes closer it. He nods his head, lowering it a bit as he retrieve his arm after he let go.

“I’m sorry. It was so beautiful and I got curious so I thought I can have a l-look.” he says.

The upper angel didn’t show any bad reaction, but instead he smiles and craned his neck to look over his shoulder. His stares remains for a while before he faced Jaeyun once again.

“This is the forbidden passage.” he announced that made the younger one astound and left speechless. The color on his face almost drained as his eyes darts at the gate behind the higher ranked angel.

“It is normal for it to look so alluring. Mainly why the ministers built this big gates to keep angels away from here.”

Jaeyun heard about this passage. It was too popular between the angels. Apparently, there are two passages that exists in this kingdom. One, is the one called the ‘passage through life’ where angels use to go down the earth. The other one, is the one a few steps away from where Jaeyun is standing. The ‘forbidden passage’.

Nobody really knew what its like to be inside over this gate, or at least nobody made it back up here to tell what its like. They said that once you enter this gate and walk to the stairs of sufferings, there’s no going back. Its dead end for you.

“We should go.” and he guides him away from the forbidden passage.

Jaeyun gave a last glance to the gate before he lets himself be taken to the right passage he ought to be. Right in front, he can see angels lined up to go do their missions. Excitement once again crept over his chest and smiles starts to paint his face.

“Once you walk over there, you will know everything you need to know about your human.” the upper angel says smiling a little.

“Goodluck.”

Jaeyun nodded with a big smile before he lines along with the other angel. Anyone can tell from one look how excited and new Jaeyun is to his job. All of them can’t help but to spare him some glances, admiring his fascinating visuals that goes along well with his big pretty wings.

“All right, Jaeyun. We can do this.” he silently cheers himself and his eyes shuts adorably as he takes a step inside the passage.

There’s this tingling sensation over Jaeyun’s stomach and when he open his eyes, the first thing he notices is the familiarity of the room. Now, he’s so sure that he’s never been inside this space but it seems like he knew it like the back of his hand. Memories flood his mind, unfamiliar memories. It was obvious that it didn’t belong to him.

As he roam his eyes, he kept seeing vague images of a young girl. Seems like the memories belongs to her, to you, his human. The whole room are filled with memories that maybe she cherished for herself and now, Jaeyun’s there to keep them safe with him.

“Ugh,” a soft groan sends Jaeyun back to his senses.

When he look over his shoulder, he saw you. Sat in front of your desk, hands over your face looking in distress.

Jaeyun was stoned at his position. He doesn’t exactly know what to do at the moment. He’s basically here for you, but to see a human this close for the first time are fascinating and thrilling for the young angel.

He took courageous steps closer at the side of your table and tilts his head, trying to get a short glimpse of your face.

“Ah!” you slam your hands over the table making the angel jolt in surprise, his wings automatically covering him.

“I hate this subject.” you mumbled to yourself unaware of a beautiful pair of eyes watching you silently.

Jaeyun’s wings slowly retrieves. His eyes completely glued at your pretty face. He was lost of words and mind went blank. He felt like he was in clouds, utterly dazed at you. The young angel was unaware of the big smile spreading across his face as he stares even more.

He walks closer, leans his elbow at your table to stare at you carefully. You focused back on your homework and tries hard to understand whatever that is. As you busy yourself with your homework, Jaeyun was busy looking at you.

“Hello, y/n.” he whispers to himself as you aren’t capable of hearing his words.

He giggles while watching you scratch your head using the end of your pen, looking confused.

Seconds, minutes and hours passed by, Jaeyun didn’t get tired of watching you. He walks closer to check what stressing you out. He has no clue about any of it, but nods his head with a slightly furrowed brows. The angel adorably mirrors your emotions and giggles whenever you do cute facial expressions out of distress.

When the clock strikes twelve, Jaeyun notices how your eyes closes from time to time, yawning every five minutes and head bopping as sleep slowly pulls you. He instantly got worried of you hitting the table so he grabs a pillow, making sure none of it will be noticed by you. The sleep basically robbed your complete awareness of the things happening inside your room.

Just in time, Jaeyun slides the pillow before your head falls. He smiles and leans his back at your wall, crossing his arms. A look of satisfaction shows over his face.

Angels can manipulate and hold material things as long as no human will see it. They can’t physically touch them because angels don’t have that ability. They are also forbidden to use these abilities to their desire. Angels helps to guide people and not decide for them. In the end, humans will make the decisions.

“Sleepwell, princess.” he whispers and closes the light of your room so you can sleep more comfortably.

Jaeyun spreads his pretty wings and jumps out from your window. His smiles bigger and brighter than usual. The angel was unaware of what’s ahead of him.

It started innocent and pure. Jaeyun’s great with his job, he guides you and helps you as much as he can. His knowledge over this world grew along with his fondness over you. You got into Jaeyun’s system so much to the point that the angel couldn’t stop talking about you.

They understand it. This is his first mission, his first human. Of course, he will be fascinated. Even angels can be so amused in all of their first times.

They shrug it off and just deals with his nonstop talks about you.

Now, nobody really can blame him. You are a wonderful person, such a great girl. Beautiful, kind, smart and all other good things. People can easily label you as someone that they can look up to. Full of dreams and inspiration. You are the type of girl who will spend your free time in volunteering. Feed stray kittens, help a granny crossing the street, all good stuff.

If Jaeyun discovers good things in this world, he also learned about how people become sinners overtime. How cruel other people can be, being selfish and crimes left and right. He understands why angels are busy these days.

It doesn’t bother him too much, all he focus about was you. He cares about you too much.

The very first time he experienced total excitement for you was his first christmas. You squeal as your parents hands you a box. Jaeyun stood close to you, having his heart leaping around in anticipation.

“They got us a...” his words stall as he stretch his neck to peak through the box. You tear its wrap and even before fully removing it, you screamed and ran towards your parents.

“...what is that, princess?” he whispers and trudge towards you to check the box.

“Thank you for getting me my dream phone!” you exclaimed that send Jaeyun in cofusion.

“A phone?” he pouts and saw you unboxing the said gadget. He snorts and sat beside you, watching you enjoy your gift.

“Why did Mom and Dad got us phone?” he mumbles and rest his head at the back of his palm. “What happen on gifting us books to read?” he added, trying to recall how you’re so happy on your birthday.

Regardless, he smiles seeing how happy you looked for it. He sighs and clicked his tongue.

“As long as you’re happy.” he mumbles.

But its not always happy time. There are days that you feel sad. These are what Jaeyun hates the most. Seeing your pretty eyes water in tears, nose turning slightly red because of crying.

“Baby,” he whispers and squat beside you, wings hanging low.

Your cries breaks his heart. “Stop crying, please.” he tries to console you even if there’s no way you can hear him.

It doesn’t matter, he still continues. Your dog just died and it made you so sad that you’re crying so much. Jaeyun couldn’t take it and his chest tightens at the sight. He wanted to do something, make you feel better but there’s just not much he can do. The extent of his powers have limits and this is the first time he wished he had more. That he can do more.

Contentment is one good characteristics one angel have, but Jaeyun’s thoughts aren’t mirroring it at one bit.

Time flew by too fast for Jaeyun. He didn’t even realized that its been years ever since he started to be your guardian angel. He doesn’t think his work as heavy, in fact Jaeyun loves his work. He doesn’t get tired over his routine. For him everyday with you is unique and special, he cherish all of them.

“I am happy to present this award to an honorable student,” the principal of your school smiles widely on stage.

“Y/n.” she continues and the crowd cheers after your name was mentioned.

You chuckled, standing up to go and get your award. Friends, admirers and other more cheers, supporting you. But out of all, your biggest supporter was stood by the stage, smile so wide, his golden blonde hair sure looks good on him, his lips caught up over his teeth as he clap his hands passionately. Even if he’s invisible to the naked human’s eyes, that didn’t stop Jaeyun from cheering.

His wings spreads so wide and he moves it just enough to blew some wind towards you, adding to your charisma while walking towards the stage. To say that Jaeyun is proud was an understatement, he was beyond that. For him, you are the best. You are the only one.

The young angel was so ignorant of the menacing feelings unfolding at a leisurely pace. He was unaware of the lingering emotions he’s slowly growing inside of him, bigger than his wings, deeper than his thoughts and stronger than his love to serve the almighty.

It started to awoke this feelings when you turned seventeen. Start of a new schoolyear, you are so excited for this because you finally moved in to a bigger campus.

Jaeyun whistles, both hands inside his pocket while he leans over the wall right outside the girl’s bathroom. He’s waiting patiently for you because you went inside to go your business.

“You’re y/n, right?” Jaeyun lifts his head and saw three girls approaching you.

He pushed himself off from the wall to walk closer, “Yes.” he heard you answer.

Jaeyun looked curious as he stand close behind you, listening along to what these girls wants from you. His wings automatically wrapped around you, trapping both of you inside it.

“I’m Jeena.” she smiles, but Jaeyun didn’t retrieve.

“We want to be friends with you.” the one on her left added after she introduced herself too.

You smiled and nodded at them. Jaeyun’s lips pursed into a pout and lean forward to check your expression. He glanced back at the three girls and vaguely squint his eyes like he’s watching them closely.

The next day, you looked excited while waiting by the school gate. Jaeyun beside you smiles, watching you happily. One girl notices you and asked you why you haven’t entered the school yet.

“I’m waiting for Jeena.” you answered.

Jaeyun’s brows furrowed and he snap his head over your way. “Jeena? From yesterday?” he asks and walks closer, his face inches away from you.

“Are they our new friends, princess?” Jaeyun asks again, watching your eyes.

“Y/n!” your head turns to your side and you waved happily.

When you approach Jeena, you walk through Jaeyun and he craned his neck to follow you with his head. He can’t explain how to feel when he saw how big your smiles and your giggles sounded so good to his ears. Even if he’s a little cautious about this, he couldn’t help but to smile too. He started walking, following behind you like a loyal dog.

Jaeyun didn’t know things will escalate pretty quickly after that. From having new friends, admirers started appearing as well causing his distress. The emotions that are blooming inside his chest are so foreign for him, so new that he don’t know how to react from it.

Even before he can stop himself, Jaeyun already stick his foot and tripped the young boy. He fell face first in front of the other students on the hallway. You gasped, surprised at what just happened. Giggles, teasings and worried remarks errupted around. Jaeyun stood at his ground, face placid as he stare at the guy trying to get back from his feet.

Jaeyun was called to report right away. Of course the minister of upper angels cannot let what he just did to slide. He just flout their rules and it needs to be addressed.

He bows, avoiding to look at him straight to the eyes. He is guilty, but what fascinates him is that he didn’t regret doing it.

“I’m pretty sure you know why we ask you here, right?”

He lifts his head and nods. “I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t know what got into me. It just happened.”

The upper angel didn’t respond right away. He pursed his lips. “Jealousy.”

Jaeyun was left speechless. He doesn’t know what to say or if he needs to say anything. This emotions is not new for him. He heard it before, but he knew angels shouldn't be feeling this.

“Maybe you’re starting to get too attached to your human. It is somehow given as you two basically spend everyday together.” his eyes reflects how confused and worried Jaeyun is.

“But you need to remember that you have to let her go. You are there only to guide them and not meddle with their life.” the upper angel added that left Jaeyun with no choice but to nod his head.

The younger angel was feeling a lot of emotions, chest tightening trying to hold on all of them. He felt sad, ashamed, regretful and some he cannot utterly distinguish. Jaeyun kept his head low in agony. He never felt this way before, its so hefty.

“You must’ve find it hard to deal with it. This is the first time you encounter this emotion anyway. Jealousy is a strong one too.” he claps his hand over his shoulder to send some solace to him.

“But you know what’s stronger?”

Jaeyun lifts his head, he raised both of his brows in anticipation of what’s the older is about to say. His hand kept his hand to his shoulder so he won’t move away.

“Love.” he smiles softly.

The younger was at dazed, trying to process what he just said.

“Don’t be too affected about this small mistakes. Take it as a step to make yourself better.”

Jaeyun stares right through his eyes and nodded his head. Before long he was given a warning for the disagreeable behavior he showed. He didn't complained and accepted it wholeheartedly with awareness of his own actions.

Eventually, he was back to you. Somehow, his sadness subsided at the sight of your peaceful face while sleeping. He smiles and carefully approaches closer. He sighs and stretched his arm to gently caress your face using his hand.

“I’m sorry, princess.” he whispers and turned off your lamp then pulled the blanket to cover you properly.

Jaeyun tries not to do the same mistakes. He smiles whenever you’re happy, pout whenever you’re sad and still help you with small things. He make sure that all he’s doing is not disobeying any of their rules. To prevent himself from getting into more trouble and to serve his main purpose here.

“I like you, Nicholas.”

One afternoon, at the back building, while everyone else aren’t around, you quietly asked him to meet you right here then nervously confessed to the boy right in front of you.

You are unsure if this is the right thing to do or if he will respond the way you wanted him to, but that’s the least you care. It is normal for teens to experience these emotions. They said it’s even a wonderful phase of life where young love may bloom.

Jaeyun’s gaze turns away from where you are. He once again got occupied by this unpleasant emotion he once experience not too long ago. He still didn’t know how to react, but he is certain he ought to stand right there and do nothing.

The boy’s face remains placid as he stares at you without saying anything. Nicholas is pretty much one of the popular boys not only in your class, but also around the whole campus. He’s part of the soccer team, smart, from a good family, well reserved man and he’s very good looking.

You aren’t so bad yourself. A lot of guys admires you too. It isn’t easy to please that’s why not all are privileged enough to gain some of your attention.

Nicholas does, tho. There’s just something about his quiet demeanor that makes your stomach wrench. Some of your friends says it happens when you like someone. This is the first time you’ve encountered it and he does make you blush whenever you two made eyecontact.

“Aren’t you going to say something?”

Jaeyun sighs, releasing some of the tension over him. He leans at the wall a little bit far from where the two of you, making sure he’s giving enough distance.

“I have nothing to say.” short and cold. You are surprised to his response. A slight sting bloom over your chest.

Unable to say anything while you contemplate whether you are hurt or humiliated, Jaeyun took steps towards you and protectively cover you with his wings like usual. His dagger like eyes stared right to Nicholas while he stand behind you.

For some reason, you felt warm a some part were lifted, making you feel more at ease. You nodded your head after letting out a sigh.

“A-All right. Sorry for wasting your time.” and you didn’t wait anymore. You turned your heels and left him standing alone.

Embarrassed about it, you silently pray that Nicholas won’t say a word about it to any of your friends. The two of you are at the same circle, mainly why you grew a crush on him. Your group spend a lot of time together these days.

Jaeyun was furious at how obnoxious Nicholas was at you, but he felt relieved that you’re not having boyfriends yet. You on the other hand, felt even more motivated to pursue Nicholas. You aren’t used of losing.

“It’s okay, princess.” he saw you stood right by the corridor, spacing out. He smiles a little and even pat your head.

“You will find someone worthy.”

Jealousy isn’t the only one that Jaeyun will discover. He was stoned at his position one night, heart thumping so loud, cheeks burning and beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

He doesn’t know where exactly to look, his head panning left and right totally unease. He gulped feeling slightly shorten of breath.

Your moans once again errupts around your silent room. It sounded too lewd for Jaeyun to ignore so easily. Seems like not only him discovers things as you are now learned to pleasure yourself alone.

Another soft whimpers echoes through his ears and mind that agitates something bad for him. He gulpes and forcefully turns around in attempt to leave you for tonight. He may have gone away, but the sound and memories of you that night was vividly kept inside Jaeyun’s mind, causing something corrupt to linger in him.

“Come on! I’m sure you know more about the forbidden passage.” Jaeyun’s restless. He’s now with some of the angels, lined up for their daily report.

The other one sighed, finding it amusing how he’s extra curious about that. Jaeyun’s always hyper, but he’s never someone to be like this.

“Fine.” he surrenders and Jaeyun cheers as they both hurry to report then met to spend some free time together.

“Why are you so curious about it anyway?”

Jaeyun tries not to act suspicious about it and just shrugges his shoulder off. “I’m just curious about it.”

“They said the forbidden passage was opened by the first fallen angel. He was known in the kingdom even before the incident because of his heavenly face. His wings were also big and very beautiful, it said it was one of a kind none surpassed it until now. He was an epitome of beauty.” he starts and unknowingly eyes Jaeyun’s big pretty wings behind him.

“He gravely fell in love with a human and exchanged his wings for mortality. Afterwards gave his soul as well to have all the good things that world can offer.”

Jaeyun’s lip gaped at what he’s hearing. Almost everything has tainted the angel’s rules and principles.

“But that’s not all.” he says and pursed his lips, hesitating to tell him what happens next.

“What?”

“They said that despite everything he sacrificed, the girl didn’t returned his feelings. It put him in so much agony and despair, he couldn’t accept it. So the fallen angel exchanged his heart for three unbounded wishes.”

Jaeyun’s breathing slows down at what he heard. He never knew angels can do that.

“Greed took upon him so with no hesitation, he offers his heart, ask for his first wish. And that is to live one last time on earth. You know that once heart was offered for something that doesn’t go along with the will of the almighty, you cannot come back here nor reincarnate. You are to live at the underworld to suffer forever.” the words sent chills over Jaeyun’s body.

The underworld are a place of the unfortunate and sinful. It said to be filled with anger, greed, lust, pain and all that cause suffering.

“What’s his second wish?”

“That the love of his life falls in love with him in the last time he will be alive.” his tone sounded like he felt sympathy for the fallen angel.

“And the third?” Jaeyun couldn’t help, but to ask more.

“It was unknown. Only he knows about it.”

Jaeyun was lost with his own thoughts. All these informations that coming to him are too much to process anything in mind.

“Are you all right, Jaeyun?” he sounded worried for him.

He was quick to pull a smile for him, hiding that something’s bothering him. Hiding that some dark ideas are slowly forming at the back of his mind.

“Yes, of course!”

He nodded, “Anyway, don’t think about the forbidden passage too much. It doesn’t just open to every angel.”

“What do you mean?” the crease over Jaeyun’s forehead deepens.

“Only one that has deep desire can only open the gates.”

He was left stoned at his position. Even after the angel bid goodbye, Jaeyun’s spacing out. He’s thinking about the fallen angel, what happened to him, the sacrifices he did. All of that went to nothing. Is it all worth it? His wings, soul and heart for a one lifetime with the love of his life?

Even if Jaeyun silently admits to himself that the idea of exchanging his wings to live on earth occured to him, he wasn’t that sure if he’s determined to do it. Afterall, it will cost him everything.

But he didn’t know that the answer he was waiting for will come running his way instantly.

It was a dreadful day for you. It was raining heavily, people around you are all wearing black and silently mourning along with you. Your mother died and you couldn’t be more broken.

It happened too fast that you can’t believe any of it. Multiple times you prayed that all of this was just a dream. How can your life turn upside down in a short span of time? This is truly unbelievable.

“M-Mom,” you cried once alone inside your bed. Your slumped on ground at the middle of your room.

“Mom!” you screamed in so much agony.

“Please don’t leave me.” you whispered as tears flows nonstop in sorrow. “I’m all alone now.” you added.

Jaeyun stood a few feet away from you, eyes filled with tears. He’s so hurt seeing you like this. How can the world be so unfair and cruel to someone so pure? It made him question a lot of things. While watching you cry to your limit, broke everything in him. He wanted to do more. He want to hug you, comfort you and tell you that you aren’t alone because he’s there. He will always be there for you.

Jaeyun trudges closer to you. He bent down, feeling every bits of him breaking apart before caging the two of you inside his wings as he cries and stays beside you. He shut his eyes close, fist balled, heart thumped faster. He then realized that he’s useless, he couldn’t even protect you like how he wanted to. Something deep, powerful emotion grew inside of him.

“I’ll be here for you, baby. Always.”

Jaeyun knew he needed to do something. He realized that he couldn’t protect you like this. That guiding you was not enough for him. He needed more. He wanted more.

After crying yourself to sleep, Jaeyun lifts you up and places you over the bed. His desire to be with you somehow dissipates the rules to not physically touch you. It was not allowed, but he could not care more.

He placed a chaste kiss on top of your head. “I’ll be back, princess.” he pulls away and smiles softly. “This time, I will protect you properly.” and he flew back with nothing but the desire of being with you.

Just a step closer to the gate and it opens right away. Jaeyun gulped and halted for a while, not because he's hesitating but because he needs to collect his thoughts. He promised himself that he won’t let greed take over the best of him. He won’t be like the first fallen angel.

He steps inside and the gate closes right away. Inside was a dreamy place, the perfect place to lure angels in. The staircase looked more enticing and at the end of it was a shrine.

“Welcome,” his head snaps over to the side when he heard somebody talked.

There, beside the stairs is a man wearing an all black suit. His hands inside the pockets. Surprisingly, he doesn’t look like how the humans expect fallen angels to look like. He looked ethereal, but there’s a different aura that he’s giving off.

“I’ve already seen you before, Jaeyun.” he says with a smile.

He didn't say anything and just stare at the man. He chuckled like as if Jaeyun did something funny.

“I’m Samael, btw. The gatekeeper for the forbidden passage.” he smirks.

“I want to exchange my wings and live on earth.” he says straight to the point.

The man’s mouth gaped and his eyes sparkles in amusement.

“Oh, someone arrogant. Its been a while since the last one like you.” he steps closer to Jaeyun. “He looked so heavenly too and his wings,” his hands extends near his wings and continues, “they’re pretty too just like yours.

He kept silent and just wait to what the man will say next.

“Let me guess?” he put his hand over his chin and acts as if he’s thinking about something.

“A girl?”

Jaeyun gulped and glanced away. It made the man bark a fit of laughter. Enjoying that he got it right. It isn’t the first time one angel came rushing in for love. Its actually the most common reason why they go here.

“Oh well,” he nods his head. “I won’t delay you anymore.”

He walks back in front of Jaeyun and extends his hand, soon a big knife appears over his hand.

“Are you sure about this? Once done, you cannot take it back.”

Your face flashes through his mind. “I’m sure.”

The man chuckles, amused. He nodded and plays with his knife. “Let me cut your wings.”

He steps closer and Jaeyun shut his eyes as the man cut off his wings. It was very painful, but he didn’t showed any regret. The feeling without his wings are very odd for him. A part of him shatters at the thought of not having them anymore, but the desire to be with you are stronger.

He threw Jaeyun’s wings beneath his feet and smiles evily. “You have to drag these wings up to the top.”

Jaeyun nods and started to climb up the stairs of suffering. It wasn’t easy. Each step he took, he feels like his wings gets more heavier. He was almost out of breath once he arrived by the shrine.

“Easy, right?!” he jolted when the man appeared right in front of him.

“I want to exchange my soul.”

He laughs, “You are really interesting aren’t you?” he crossed his arms. “You do know that your soul serves as your ticket back here.”

Jaeyun nodded. “I want to exchange it.”

“If you say so.” the man moves his hand and something came out from Jaeyun. He trapped it inside his palm with a big grin on his face like as if he just won something.

“Heart?”

Jaeyun shakes his head. It didn’t wipe out the smirk on the man’s face. He nodded again and tilt his head over to the entrance.

When he stood right in front of it, the man was a few feet away from him, watching.

“You remind me so much of him.” he suddenly said.

“Who?” Jaeyun asks, looking over to his shoulder.

“The first fallen angel.”

“I will try my best not to end up his way. I’m nothing like him.” Jaeyun argues.

The man smirks and tilt his head, “Are you now?”

Even before he can respond, something pulls him towards the entrance and he soon fell in a deep slumber. Jaeyun lost his wings and soul, but gained the ability to be with you.

The death of your mother caused a drastic change in you. Yes, you’re slowly coping up but the lost was just too much that you feel like you can never be the same again.

It’s not like you are really alone. You still have your dad. But he’s always too busy with work, unable to really give you the attention you need. The person who was there for you all the time was your Mom, and now that she’s gone, you are beyond heart broken.

Her sweet memories are what kept you going. The dreams you two built together is what pushing you to continue your life despite of a grave lost. You knew your mom will not be too happy to see you crying every night for her. So you try your best to live your life.

It was the second week of your new school year and its a normal day. You are about to rest your head to your table when Jeena came rushing inside your classroom. Her smile so big as she tries to hold her screams.

“What happened to you?”

She stops, catching her breath. “We have a transferee!” she cheers and even fan herself, acting so delirious.

You scoffed and roll your eyes before glancing away. As doing so, your gaze met Nicholas' eyes. He didn’t look away and you aren’t bothered to look away as well. If it wasn’t for your homeroom teacher arriving, the stares will remain.

“Okay, class. Kindly go to your respective seats.” all your head snaps in front and follows what your teacher said.

Jeena still seemed thrilled about it as she couldn’t stay still at her chair. She tugs your arm to pull and whisper something.

“I saw the new guy!” she giggled. “He’s so handsome!” it was impossible to hide the excitement through her tone.

You smirked at her, “Yeah?” no interest can be sensed from you. She pouts and rolls her eyes.

“Promise! I think I just fell in love.” her eyes almost form into these heart shapes that you find somehow hilarious.

Its not like this is the first time Jeena has a crush on someone. She's actually the type to like every good looking guy on your batch. Its also not the serious type, sometimes its just happy crush where she giggles while coming across the hallway.

You didn’t give much thought to it and didn’t realize that your teacher just asked the new comer inside. The class ware fascinated. You heard some of the girls gasps in utter shock, some were left totally speechless. The boys have more chill reactions compared to the girls, but you can see some amusement from them as well.

With full on curiosity, you glanced in front and your lips instantly gapped. Your heart thumped faster and everything seems to be in a slow motion. You can’t explain what you are feeling at the moment. He was dead gorgeous. Black hair that’s a bit longer than the usual hair of guys on your class, puppy-like eyes, pointed nose and plump sinful lips. The words aren’t even capable of describing him in total detail. He was like an angel sent from heaven.

His eyes scanned the whole room carefully and when it met yours, he stopped. Your breath hitched and your lungs feels like its being pressed out of air. His eyes looks so dreamy.

“He’s looking at me! Oh my gosh, y/n.” your head snaps to the side when Jeena spoke.

Suddenly, your blushing cheeks are not because of the guy’s pretty eyes but because you feel embarrassed for actually thinking he was looking at you. Yes, you may be pretty popular to your school but Jeena’s always ahead of you. So if there’s someone he’s eyeing, you bet its her.

You tried to shove off all these thoughts and just proceed on listening to your teacher’s short introduction for the transferee.

The thumping of your heart resumed the moment you met eyes, well you assumed, with the new guy. He’s still looking at your way when you glanced back. You cleared your throat and pursed your lips.

“I’m Jake Sim.” his short introduction made everyone more interested of him.

It’s a little odd for you, tho. His visuals are breathtaking and gives off sweet boy vibes, but his aura and the way he acts says otherwise. You couldn’t really tell how he really is. He’s hard to read.

“Now, his family just moved from Australia so please make sure to make Jake comfortable. Okay?” your teacher reminds and the whole class answered ‘yes’ in unison.

She asked him to sat a few seats away from you then she continues with her lecture. The girl classmates near him started to steal glances at him and even tries to crack a conversation. That made Jeena groan and roll her eyes in envious. Your eyes glanced away from the scene, focusing to the board in front trying to seal whatever that emotion is growing inside your chest.

You have no idea when did it start or how did it happen, but all of a sudden Jake Sim has been the talk of the whole campus. From being the random transferee from Australia to one of the campus crushes. He also started hanging out with your group of friends since most of your boy friends found him cool.

Jeena also seemed to like Jake very much. She’s always around him, vividly show signs that she’s interested and you’re actually surprised by her behavior. She’s never the type to be like this. This is the first time you saw her acting this way.

On the other hand, while everyone finds it easy and normal to interact with him, you don’t. There’s just something with him that makes your every nerves wreck. You cannot even keep your stares at him for a long time. You feel like your heart will burst out from your chest. He just makes you so nervous.

“I’m telling you dude, you’ll totally have fun!” you can hear Jay while you’re walking towards their table.

“Y/n is here!” Jeena shouts that made everyone to your table snap their heads to your direction.

You smiled and it faltered when you saw the one beside her. Jake Sim have his infamous smirk while staring at you, gaze aren’t leaving you even just for a second.

“Hey, Y/n. Practice done?” Heeseung asks and even pushed a chair so you can sit beside him. You smiled brightly and nod your head.

Nicholas is sitting on the other chair beside you and you can feel him staring at you. These days, you’ve noticed how he’s being more attentive of you. It suppose to make you excited about it as he is your crush for a year now, but suddenly he doesn’t seem that interesting anymore.

“You’re late.” he says and even slides a water towards you.

“They hold us for a bit because of club meeting.” you thanked him and get the glass to drink from it.

“OMG! Are you two finally dating?!”

Your eyes snapped towards Jeena when she suddenly screamed. Everyone then started teasing you and Nicholas that made you chuckle a little. Your eyes unconsciously darted over at the quiet boy beside her and your smile faltered.

Jake Sim’s eyes are blank and he looked annoyed for some reason. You have no idea as to why the said boy’s face reflects irritation, but you just chose to ignore it.

“Stop being nosy, Jeena.” Nicholas stated, but there’s a smile over his lips.

“Whatever!” she says and rolled her eyes before going back on talking to Jake.

Your eyes glanced away from the scene and thankfully Heeseung opens up a topic about one subject. The routine remains the same for you. School and friends are the ones that keeping you busy, keeping your mind off from your late mother.

As days passes by, you’ve noticed how Nicholas are starting to open up with you as well. Even if you’re a little confused why he’s suddenly giving you attention, you didn’t give much thought to it and just go with the flow.

But your mind are always occupied by Jake Sim. There’s just something that kept pulling you towards him. You both rarely interacts and most of it was done by him.

“One water and one banana milk, please.” he says one breaktime. Your head lifts when a hand’s giving you a drink out of nowhere.

With confused eyes you look at the person and it was him. “H-Huh?”

He smirks, eyes softening at your cute reaction. “Here,” he places the drink carefully to your hand. “That’s the last one. I know its your favorite.” he says and casually walked away.

You are stoned at your position after the interaction. A lot of questions formed inside your mind. Why did Jake Sim suddenly talked to you? Why did he gave you a drink acting so casual about it? And most of all, how did he know your favorite drink?

These interactions didn’t last there. You don’t know if he’s doing all of it because he wants to be friends with you or he have something else in mind. Not to be too assuming or full of yourself, but you rarely, if not never, seen him being too interactive to others. Usually he just nods, smirks and chuckles lightly with them. Never giving free drinks, carrying lunch trays, helping with school chores and other more.

“It’s still hot,” he stops you from sipping your soup. You blinked, a bit confused.

His eyes stares at you with the usual soft looks on them before he pull your bowl closer to him to cool your soup down. Blush came rushing through your cheeks while some of your friends were left in utter shock. They’ve been noticing this for a couple of weeks already. Nobody just dares to question it.

Jeena started to act cold around you as well. You’ve tried to ask her about it, but she just ignores you. It’s making you so sad. She’s been your friends for years already so you don’t like having misunderstandings with her.

You figured that maybe she’s avoiding you because of Jake, so you started to distance yourself from him. But Jake fucking Sim didn’t understand the assignment, because he makes sure damn well that he is doing things for you. That his presence around you is very well known.

“Let me pay for that.” yet again Jake Sim is here.

You’re at the cafeteria buying a drink for Jeena to try and fix things between the two of you and now the main reason (your guess) of Jeena’s cold treatment towards you is here.

Jake’s hand is stretched towards the lady by the counter and she was about to accept it but you beat her into it. You placed your cash on her palm and shoot glares to the boy next to you. He glanced at you with a furrow on his brows.

“What are you doing?” your tone sounds so accusing.

His eyebrow slightly raised, “Paying for you.”

“But you don’t have to do that!”

“I want to.”

You rolled your eyes and accepted the change from the lady before turning your heels, attempting go get away from him. Jake’s fast reflexes refused to let you leave as he hold you by your arm.

“What?”

“Where are you going?” he asks.

His stares made your stomach wrench and blush flushing your cheeks so you quickly glanced away.

“None of your business.” and you shove his hold off then run away.

Jake smirks, enjoying his effect on you. For him, he can settle with this kind of interaction for the mean time. He’s not rushing anything. What’s important is that he’s here for you everytime.

After taking off, you searched for Jeena to give her the drink you just bought. It wasn’t that hard to look for her since there’s just few places she likes to spend her free times. You smiled at the sight of her and quickly walked closer.

“Hey Jeena,” you started. She glanced at your way and the displease on her reaction made your heart crack a little. Her eyes stares at you blankly as she draws a sigh.

“What do you want?” she sound so uninterested.

“I just want to say sorry.” your lips pursed. “I don’t know what did I do wrong for you to—”

Jeena stood up and she looked extremely pissed. “You don��t know?” her sarcasm lingers over her tone.

She scoffed unamused, “I can’t believe that you’re this kind of person, Y/n.”

“W-What...”

“You know that I like him!” she took a step closer that made you step backward, starting to feel scared of her.

“You know very well I like Jake Sim and yet you seduced him!” her accusations sounded so unbelievable for you. You almost thought that she’s not serious about it, but nerves almost shows on her neck that indicates how mad she is.

“No, I didn’t.” you defended yourself.

“Liar!” she pushed you over your shoulder and you lost your balance.

“I trusted you! I thought you’re my friend!” she says with a tone of disappointment before she kicked the drink that lays a few feet away from you.

She marched away and you’re left in complete trance. The shock from what just happened just disabled you from moving. After finally snapping back to reality, you stood up and went to search again for Jeena.

As much as you feel hurt from what she accused you, you can’t just let her get mad with you. Jeena is your closest friend. She was somehow there for you from time to time. Losing somebody is the least you want to happen again to your life.

You’re about to walk over the corner when you heard a familiar voice talking.

“So that was it?” it was Nicholas.

Your steps halted and your brows furrowed, curious to who is he talking to. But these thoughts were blocked when you heard Jeena’s voice.

“What do you want, Nicholas?”

“You really like that jerk?” a hint of annoyance, disbelief and pain lurks over his tone.

Still confused about what’s goin on, you decided to listen for a bit more.

“And what if I do?”

“Is that why you broke up with me? Because of that asshole?”

Your lips gapped at what he said. This is not what you’re expecting to happen. Nicholas and Jeena? But she knew you like him. Even if you aren’t that passionate about it, you knew she knows you like him.

Jeena groaned, “Why is it such a big deal to you? You’re going for y/n anyway!” she screams and bitterness looms on her tone when she said your name.

Your heart ache after realizing what’s it about. Jeena and Nicholas was in a relationship secretly while you like him. The times when she’s teasing you with him flashes through your mind. While she’s doing that, she was in a relationship with him? You are lost of words.

“I’m only doing that to make you jealous!” Nicholas' voice raised. That was the first time you heard him raise his tone. He’s always the calm type.

Something pricked your heart after what he just said. You may not like Nicholas that way anymore, but to hear such betrayal sure hurt you a lot.

Even before you realize it, someone walks pass by you to go confront them. With wide eyes you followed Jake to try and stop him. It was too late because he already punched Nicholas.

“Jake!” you screamed.

“You fucking fuck!” he looked so mad. His intimidating aura shifts into something more scary.

Jeena looked surprised as well. Nicholas is down at the ground, unable to even fight back. You screams and approached closer to stop Jake before he broke Nicholas' nose. You saw that he throw punches over Jake as well, but he’s stronger than him.

“Jake! That’s enough!” Jeena screamed.

“Get off of me!” Nicholas.

“I’m going to fucking kill you.”

Your eyes watered because of what’s happening at the moment. You can’t seem to think of anything else but to blame yourself for all of these. Jake even got involved because of you. A part of you felt bad for him.

“J-Jake...” you softly called him.

You aren’t sure if he even heard you, but he stopped so you assumed he did. He craned his neck to look over his shoulder. Your tear stained eyes broke him.

“P-Please, enough.” you added, unable to really talk loudly anymore. Everything is just too much.

He clenched his jaw and like an obedient puppy called by his owner, he stood up and walked towards you. He cupped your face and eyes softens as he scanned you carefully. Your heart aches again at the sight of his bruised face.

“Are you okay, baby?” he asks.

Your soft cries hurts Jake.

“I w-want to leave.” the main intention of why you say those words are unknown, but one thing’s for sure, Jake’s willing to do anything for you.

The following events are blur and the next thing you knew, you are inside the infirmary. Jake’s sitting in front of you, eyes completely fixed at your direction. He’s not saying anything at all so its starting to feel awkward.

Both of you snapped out of trance when the nurse walked closer holding a kit. “Let me put medicine to your bruises, Jake.” she says in her soft voice, matching it with her sweet smile.

Jake’s eyes lazily trailed towards her and the placid look on his face intimidates the nurse making her smile falter.

“Y/n can do that.” he shortly stated and glanced back at you. The sudden eye contact made you jolt and panic a bit, your head turns to the nurse. She’s looking at you with a confused and slight fear on her eyes.

A small smile is what you gave her before you gently reached for the kit then bowed to thank her. She was left with no choice but to leave the two of you alone. Jake seemed pleased after that as his face softens and relaxes while watching you prepare the ointments for his bruise.

The corner of his lips lifts a little as he leaned back using his palms to support himself.

“You s-shouldn’t have done that.” you stuttered and hated it. Eitherway, you tried to keep your cool then focused on the task you need to do. The burning gazes the young man throwing at you are making it hard, but you tried hard to ignore it.

“I want to.” he answered quickly that made your hand stop from rummaging over the kit.

You sighed, calming the rushing beating of your heart. At this rate, you knew being around him is not healthy for you. You feel like this rate of heartbeat can kill you.

When you finally found the courage to face him, your eyes laid only a few seconds on Jake’s affectionate ones. His eyes were already darted at you, like as if anticipating even the shortest contact. His smiles grew bigger after and bit his lower lip, finding you so adorable.

He chuckles that made you narrow your brows and glance at him again.

“What’s so funny?” you fired him that question, a little irritated. The cotton bud that you are holding are near his lips when you lift your gaze to see him with drunken eyes. Half-lidded and with a dangerous grin playing over his luscious lips.

“Its because you’re so far from me. Move closer. I have a lot of room for you.” his husky voice just makes you feel more nervous. He widen his legs, providing enough space between it. Trying to act cool, you sighed and stood in front of Jake. A pleased smile spread across the handsome face of the young man.

“There we go,” he sighs like this is a very fun thing for him. He’s enjoying it. “That isn’t so bad, right?” he whispers that you ignored.

You blinked and tried to calm your heartbeats. It was crazy at this point. Your body feels hot, your heart is racing and your hands are shaking. Jake’s eyes moved from your eyes down to your trembling hands. He felt a sting over his lips when you try to put the ointment, but it didn’t stop him from smirking.

“You’re shaking.” he stated. He lifts his hand and held your hand firmly. The warmth from it transfers to yours, but just made your heart thumped even faster.

“Baby,” he chuckles and caress your hand using his thumb. “relax.” he added.

At the end, you gave up trying to conceal whatever that is that you’re feeling. You groaned and then sighed heavily.

“I’m sorry. Its just you’re m-making me nervous.” you admits and stared at his eyes.

The pleased expression of him didn’t slipped off from you and his eyes brightens.

“Why?” he asked curiously.

Your face flushed and you rolled your eyes at him. “Whatever! Just quit playing around, I’m trying to deal with your bruises.” you let out frustratingly.

You were never comfortable around Jake Sim. It’s very odd even for you because you’ve never been like this to anyone. You’re usually good at making friends and around guys, but with him its just different.

Whenever he’s around, you feel like you’re heart will burst out from your ribcage, your fingers are restless, you can’t even stand eye contact and you can’t take physical touch with him. You’ll feel like you’ll pass out. You’ve liked Nicholas and your friends had introduced you to these feelings, but what you feel with Jake is just way stronger.

“Why are you always mad at me?” his tone does not sound mad or anything. He sounded curious.

“I’m n-not mad at you.” you tried assuring him.

He tilts his head, “Are you sure?”

You glanced at him and nod your head right after. He nods his head, satisfied.

“Then why avoid me?”

“I’m not.”

“Liar.” he smirks.

You rolled your eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe because I’m not used to being around you.”

He nods his head and smiled downwards. Your eyes stared, fascinated about his looks. He then smiled brightly.

“By any chance, do you like dogs?” he ask you so randomly which you end up answering with a nod.

“Don’t you think you’re cheating?” Jake didn’t even falter from watching you when Samael, one of the gate keepers of the forbidden passage suddenly appears.

He rolled his eyes, already used to the presence of the said gate keeper. Normal humans unable to see him, but since Jake’s case is different, he’s stuck with him. He’s been showing up from time to time to either give him small hints for things or just tease him around. He kept asking him why he’s showing up but never once he received a definite answer. He just gave up and accepted his random visits.

“You lured her using your dog because you knew very well she used to have one that looked exactly like the dog you just adopted.” Samael stated and even leaned over the railing to watch you play around Layla, Jake’s dog.

“Can’t you see that she’s happy?”

Samael pursed his lips then nods his head in agreement. “Well, good job I guess?” his tone taunting.

Jake chuckles and kept his eyes at you. He invited you in his house and introduced you with his pet, Layla. You’ve fallen in love ever since.

“Jake!” you shouts his name and he waved his hand once.

“Come here!” he nods and jogs towards your direction before Samael disappears into thin air.

For other people, Jake seems to be a cold, mysterious and reserved type of guy. But with you, he’s completely different. He’s very generous with the things he want to share you, he smiles a lot, very gentle, attentive and affectionate.

After getting close with Jake, you started to feel more ease around him. It actually got better. The butterflies in your stomach are still there, but they’re manageable.

Things between Jeena fell apart. Even if you wanted to fix things between the two of you, she already felt distant. Nicholas tried to talked to you, but Jake’s not letting him get that chance. You told him off as well because you don’t want Jake to be pissed that can lead to another brawl.

“How come you just moved here?” you ask one afternoon while you and Jake hangs out to his house.

You’re at their garden, laying on your stomach and him on his back while Layla runs around chasing some butterfly. Jake puts his hand right in front your mouth, offering a grape. He’s smiling so widely.

“I don’t know. Why? You wished you met me sooner?” he asks teasing you.

You rolled your eyes, but your cheeks flushed at what he said. A part of you aches and rejoys at that very moment. You knew the lost of your Mom scarred you for life and finding Jake somehow heals you. But no matter how much you hate to admit it, you still feel something’s missing. Your heart stil aches.

You snapped back to reality when Jake’s hand graze gently over your hair, hanging some loose strands to your ear.

“I wished I knew you sooner too.” his words sounded so sincere. His eyes silently communicating to you.

“Thank you for being there when nobody was, Jake.” you told him.

For you, that might mean thanking him for the past months you’ve been spending your time with him. But for Jake, it was the whole duration that he knew you. From when he was an angel, until he’s a human. It tugs something in his heart. He knew he loves you and that he’s down bad for you, but this time he’s sure that there’s no turning back. There’s no more rising from his feelings for you.

“Jaeyun,” he says that made you furrow your brows a bit, confused.

That was the first time he ever said his angel name ever since he stepped foot here on earth.

“Call me Jaeyun, baby.” he added that made your eyes looked so soft, heart thumping along with the beats of his.

“Jaeyun...” you mumbled so gently that almost made him crazy.

A tear formed your eyes before Jake pulls you close to his body, caging you into a tight embrace.

That just made your relationship with Jake even more better. After that you two are inseparable. It’s like there’s already an unwritten message that you two felt the same way and nobody can come between you.

“You should go home now.” you said while still holding Jake’s hand. He walked you home after spending the whole day together.

He smiles, “Go inside first, baby. I’ll go once you’re in.”

You pout that made him chuckle. He pulled you close and kisses you over your temple.

“Go.” he says again.

You are left with no choice but to nod your head and leaned in to give him a swift kiss at his lips. That stunned Jake completely. You flushed when you felt him stiffened. Embarrassed of what you just did, you are about to run home when he grabbed you by your wrist.

“Not so fast,” he says in a low tone. “Baby you can’t just leave after what you pulled.”

He embraced you, nuzzling your neck. Your heart’s beating so loudly that you are sure he heard it. He smiles and slowly pulls away then cups your face. You returned his smile with a flushed cheeks. He leaned making your noses touch and caress it gently before he tilts his head to give you a sweet slow kiss.

Beneath the bright moon, your heart beat got in sync together as a signal of a love blooming between one another. One love that only comes once in a million.

“I love you, Y/n.” he says.

“I love you, Jaeyun.” and you nuzzle over his chest.

The smile over Jake’s lips almost brighten the night. On his way home, he couldn’t stop giggling to himself.

“Your lips will tear off any minute now.”

He jumps in surprise. “Why do you keep showing this way, Samael?” he asked a little mad.

Samael smirked, showing off his dimple. “I’m bored.” he shrugs his shoulder off.

“Don’t you have a passage to guard?”

“Not a lot of angels have that kind of desire to open that gate, Jake.”

He didn’t talk right away so Samael took the opportunity to speak again.

“Aren’t you going to offer your heart?”

Jake furrowed his brows, “No. Why would I do that? Everything’s going well.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Even if he’s a little confused, Jake nods his head and dismissed the gate keeper. He felt bothered, but just ignored it. You and him are completely fine.

Or so he thought...

Because despite of being happy around him. Despite feeling so much joy and contentment around Jake, your heart still felt heavy. Your Dad are mistreating you, only pointing out your wrongs and never giving care towards you. He was always the workaholic type, but this is just too much for you. Its like you don’t have a family.

Your Mom suffered with him, staying in a marriage that are so cold and dull. You are the only reason she stays and now she left you too because your Father, the one who suppose to be the one protecting and keeping your family together, broke it. He had an affair with somebody else and your mother couldn’t take such betrayal so she took her own life.

And now, you couldn’t believe your own eyes when he walked inside your house, a lady linking her arms on his.

“Y/n,” he calls. “This is (name). Your new mom.” he announced that broke you into pieces.

It was like your Dad didn’t care at all. He didn’t care to you or to your late mother. He’s disrespecting not only his marriage, but your own Mom. You couldn’t take it. Your heart that has a hole on it felt like being teared apart once again. Your heart that Jake tries to make whole are being ripped into pieces.

“She’s not my mother.” you said with gritted teeth.

The smile on his face faded.

“She isn’t my mom! And she will never be my mom! Get your bitch out of our house—” your ears ringed when a loud slap was thrown over your way.

Your eyes big out of shock and you’re stonned at yout position. Once recovered, you glared at him. You cursed him inside your mind and swears that he will pay for every pain he had caused you and your mother. So you ran. You run away that cold night.

Your feet hurts from walking mindlessly. It was past midnight and the streets are almost empty. Your head turns and you realized you’re at a bridge. A tear left your eye again after realizing of what you’re about to do.

You quickly fished your phone and dialled the number of the only person that matters to you.

“Hey, baby.” his warm voice made you smile. Tears pool over your eyes at the thought of hurting him so much, but you know there’s no escape.

Even if Jake’s mending the pain, its just too much for you. You wished you knew him sooner because he might’ve saved you. Jake might have lessen the scars. You love him and he loves you.

“Hey. Are you crying?” the worry over his tone just made you cry even more.

How can someone be so pure and genuine?

“I love you.” you said between your sobs. You can hear him from the other line, rummaging through things.

“Where are you right now? I’m coming to you. Stay put, baby.” he says.

You sniffs, “I l-love you so much, Jaeyun.” you mumbled, ignoring his questions.

“Y/n! Where the hell are you?!” his tone starts to panic.

“Thank you so much for everything. You made me happier.”

“Baby! Where—”

“Please tell me you love me.” you cut him off.

Jake’s going crazy already. His hands are shaking, his eyes teary. He doesn’t know what to do or where to start looking for you. He’s never been this scared.

“I love you, Y/n. I love you so much, hmm baby? Stay where you are. I’m coming.”

You smiled, contented of hearing those words from you. Even at the last moments you felt loved. All thanks to Jake Sim.

“Good bye.” and with that you end the call then climbed to the railings of the bridge.

“Y/n!!” Jake screams and tries to free himself from the nurses that are holding him off.

He went straight here at the hospital after hearing the news.

“Please, save her! Please.” he begged, tears streaming down his face.

“We are trying our best, Sir!”

Jake’s fell on his knees, hopeless. He was lost of words, mind’s a mess. Where did he went wrong? Why did you do it? Is he not enough? Are you not happy with him?

He slowly pulls himself back up and stormed outside the quiet parking lot of the hospital. He turns his head like a crazy man, desperately searching for someone.

“Samael!” he calls out.

“Samael!” he screams continuously.

He fell on his knees, crying.

“You call for me?”

His head lifts up, a hint of hope lights Jake’s eyes.

“Y/n will live, right?”

Samael kept his straight face, the usual playful grin on his face was nowhere to be found.

“I don’t know. Base on the records, none survived from that bridge.” Jake’s heart cracks at what he heard.

“She ended her life and you, as a former angel, knew very well that its a grave sin. Only means she cannot be granted another life and her soul will be stuck on the underworld.” Samael says.

“Take my heart.”

Samael stiffened at how fast Jake Sim said that. Without hesitation the young man stared at him straight to his eyes.

“Take my heart in exchange of saving her.” Jake said.

Samael smirks, “I thought you’re not going to be like the first fallen angel?”

“Save her. That’s my first wish.” Jake ignored his taunting question. A tear fell from his eyes.

“Are you sure? Without your heart, you won’t be able to be given another chance to walk on earth.” he reminds him.

“Save her.”

Samael nods and taps Jake’s chest. He grunts in pain and he saw that he was pulling something out from him. As to how he does that without killing him, he don’t know.

“Second wish?”

Jake sighs, “That y/n will live a normal and happy life in her next lives. She deserves to be happy.” he says genuinely.

“Even without you?”

Jake clenches his jaw. “If that means she can be happy without living with pain, then yes.”

Samael nods.

“Last wish?”

“Before I say my last wish, can I go see her first? I know she will be unconscious. I just want to see her one last time.”

Samael was lost of words, and just agrees on what Jake wishes. When they walked back inside the hospital, it was more peaceful. The nurse from a while ago smiles brightly at Jake when she recognized him.

“Sir! The patient is stable now! For some miracle the doctor’s managed to save her!”

Jake smiles warmly, tears streaming over his face. He turned over Samael and nods. He nodded back and just disappeared, giving him time with you.

After the doctor’s made sure that you are all right, you are moved to a more comfortable room. Jake enters and his heart broke at the sight of you full of machine operators around you. He tried to smile, but tears are all over his face.

“Baby,” he whispers and approached your bed to hold your hand. Feeling it so cold just made him even more heartbroken.

“I’m sorry.” he says, kissing your hand so gently.

“This world is too cruel to you. I promise to make it more nicer, okay?” he smiles and kisses you over your forehead.

“I love you so much.”

He stayed that way until he felt a presence by the corner of the room.

“It’s you, right?” Jake mumbles while he brush your hair softly.

“You are the first fallen angel,” he added, referring to Samael.

He cannot see his reaction, but he knew he somehow caught him off guard. Jake slowly trailed his eyes towards him and he saw him leaning over the wall.

“Park Sunghoon, the first fallen angel.” Jake says.

Samael, or Sunghoon as to how the angels used to address him, smirks. “You are really something.” he won’t lie. He did caught him off-guard.

“Well, you caught me.” he says and smirked.

“I’m just curious.” Jake says.

“About what?”

“Your last wish.” his eyes stares at the man full of anticipation. “What was your last wish when you offered your heart?”

Sunghoon smiles faltered for a bit. A hint of sorrow and pain flashes through his eyes.

“My last wish is that the love of my life will manage to find someone that will love her genuinely. A love so strong and pure with no greed and selfishness.” he says and smiled.

Jake didn’t talk right away, but he nods his head. He turns his head to face you. He stares at you lovingly and caress your face gently.

“Does 8 months with her worthy of the sacrifices you did?” Sunghoon asks.

“It was worth it and I will repeat it again in heartbeat if I may.” and he leaned in to give you last one kiss at your forehead, mumbling his undying love for you.

“Last wish, Jake.”

Jake sighs and faced Sunghoon.

“I wished for your heart to be returned so you can have a chance to live again and find true love.”

Sunghoon’s eyes grew at Jake’s wish. The latter smiles and taps his shoulder, still unable to speak a word.

“I can do that right? I can wish for someone else' heart to be returned.”

Jake sighs.

“You deserve to be loved too. Everyone does.” he sighs.

“Good bye, my love. I will love you forever.” Jake whispers and with that, he can feel himself being taken away by somebody. Sunghoon’s eyes watered in utter shock and the last thing Jake remembers is the darkness eating him whole.

Someone’s continuously yanking off his shoulder. Muffled voices were talking nonstop, pulling him off from his deep slumber. Slowly, Jake’s eyes flutter open. Slightly confused and taken aback, he started to wonder where he is.

“Dude, finally!” his brows furrowed hardly at the sight of a familiar boy.

”Heeseung?” his tone came out totally confused.

“Hurry up! We’ll be caught! Mrs. Choi’s furious! We already skipped a lot of practice! Hurry the fuck up!” it says in a panic voice and pulled him.

Even if in complete trance, he lets himself be dragged. Soon, some more familiar faces arrived. Jungwon, Jay, Sunoo and Ni-ki. These are the people from your previous life. But why are they here? Jake starts to wonder if he’s dreaming. Are they even allowed to dream back on the underworld?

“Fuck! We’re fucked! Hurry up!” Jungwon cursed and pushed pass those students so they can arrive the theater faster.

Upon arrival, Jake noticed that the stage was perfectly designed. His heart falters at the familiar scenery. It was the forbidden passage. But how...?

“Fascinating, isn’t it?”

Jake head turns when he heard a familiar voice.

“S-Sunghoon?”

His famous smirk flashes over his face, “If you’re going to ask me how did it happen, I can’t answer that. If you’re asking if this is true, yes.” he chuckled and put his hands inside his pockets. He’s wearing the same uniform as Jake and it isn’t the same ones from your previous school.

“You are alive. Again.” he says, and Jake rests his hand over his chest to feel his heart thumping lively.

“Then where is—Ow!” he grunted when he felt pain over his head once hit by something.

Now Jake’s sure that this isn’t a dream.

“Where were you, Jake Sim?! You are already punished because you cut class too much!”

Jake’s eyes widen and he turned around to face you. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. In front of him stands a fuming mad y/n. Yes, your hair may be a little different and the way you dresses, but its you. His heart thumped like crazy at the sight of you, like a puppy getting excited at the sight of its owner.

“Baby,” he mumbles and quickly pulled you into a hug.

He then yelped in pain when you pinched him over the sides, “Don’t you dare try to woo me with your sweet words!”

“Ow, that hurts!”

“Dude, is she not my girlfriend?” Jake asks Sunghoon who's smirking.

He scoffed, “She is. But you’re kind of a troublemaker so she’s really pissed off.”

“Kind of?! KIND OF?” your voice raised at what Sunghoon said.

The latter jolts as well and even straighten his back nervously. “You are lucky I managed to convince our drama club head to let you play the main lead in exchange of not expelling you.” you told Jake.

You seemed very mad, but the smile on Jake’s face aren’t fading at all. He looks at you with full affection and genuine longing.

“I love you, y/n.” Jake.

You blushed but you try hard to keep your angry face. “I love you too, but I’m still pissed. Go down and start rehearsing!” you screamed and starts to push him towards the stage.

“What is the play even about? I forgot.” Jake reasons out that irritated you even more.

“It's about the first fallen angel, you dumb!”

Jake groaned, “Who am I?”

“The fallen angel.”

He couldn’t believe what's happening right now as he continues to whine at you. Sunghoon puts his hands inside his pocket while watching the scene silently. A small genuine smile spread across his face.

He doesn’t know if the concept of angels keeping their memories even if they became human is a good thing. Because despite of living again, they carry the guilt of commiting a grave sin. Sunghoon’s fine along with it as he knew this is what makes himself whole. His silent plea of forgiveness and desire to be loved will always be with him.

“So you did find the person that will love you purely and genuinely, Y/n.” he sighs. “My love.” he whispers.

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hqbaby · 8 months

Text

eight — sorry, my bad

fuck ur instincts — suna x reader & atsumu x reader

you and suna are just fooling around—so why does he care so much when you start falling in love with someone else?

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 1.3k content. swearing, sexual conversations, short sex scene with vaginal penetration

“Ouch,” Hinata says, stopping behind Atsumu. “Man, that must hurt.”

The blond looks over his shoulder, shirt in hand. “What’re ya talkin’ ‘bout?”

They’re in the locker room, getting showered and dressed after a day of long and gruesome training. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Bokuto hadn’t shown up late and drunk, causing his team to lose the scrimmage and pissing Sakusa off. There was a bit of a squabble after that, but they managed to get it together in time for the next match.

“He’s talkin’ ‘bout yer back,” Aran snickers. “Rough night?”

Atsumu squints, trying to understand what they mean by that. Then it hits him. “Oh,” he says, eyes growing wide. “That.”

Yaku comes up behind him to see what the other boys are talking about. “Holy shit! Y/N did that?”

A few lockers over, Suna freezes at the sound of your name.

“Hey!” Oikawa’s piercing voice cuts through everyone's chatter as he marches his way over to the other setter. “Quit talking about my best friend with these jerks.”

“I’m not!” Atsumu throws his hands up innocently. “Blame Hinata. He’s the one that pointed it out.”

The other boy pulls a face as Oikawa turns to look at him with a fire in his eyes. “I was just worried about Atsumu!” he insists, backing away slightly. “I mean, come on. Look at what she did to him!”

Your best friend scowls but looks at Atsumu anyway. He stops in his tracks when he sees it—sees them, all his previous anger washed away. Oh fuck, he thinks. The poor guy.

“Atsumu, I am so so so so so so sorry,” he says, ignoring the freaked out look the other boy has on his face at Oikawa’s sudden change in demeanor. “She’s a demon, I’m telling you. Satan’s spawn. I’ve been telling her mother since we were twelve that her real daughter must’ve been kidnapped and replaced by a monster because…”

Suna sees the marks on Atsumu’s back. Clearly yours. He knows because he’s been blessed with the same ones on several occasions and teased by his teammates about them to no end. Of course they never knew they were yours. No one knew.

He looks straight ahead at the open locker in front of him, quietly putting on his shirt and taking his bag out.

This shouldn’t bother him. It doesn’t, he tells himself. It really doesn’t. You’ve slept with other guys before, he knows that. You’re allowed to. It’s not like he can stop you. It doesn’t matter, none of it does, not when you come back to him at the end of the day. Not when he gets to hold you long after those other guys are gone. Not when you always choose him.

He slams his locker shut and pops his earbuds in, waving at the boys who say goodbye to him as he leaves.

That’s probably why you were busy last night. Why you didn’t read his message as soon as he sent it, like you usually do. Why you texted him back with a slew of apologies at 1 AM. It was all because, last night, you chose Atsumu instead of him.

Of course you did.

He feels pathetic. What did he expect was going to happen when you started seeing one of his best friends? Atsumu doesn’t hide you the way he does. He deserves more from you than Suna ever will.

He pulls his phone out and shoots a text.

Fuck, he really hates himself right now.

“Explain.”

You perk up at the sound of Kaori’s voice, smiling as she approaches you on the bench. “Explain what?” you ask sweetly. “Love your hair today, by the way.”

She narrows her eyes at you. “Yeah, yeah. Cut the crap.” She gestures at the three marks on your neck, there are two small ones that you would've gotten away with if not for the giant one beside them. “What are those?”

You keep smiling. “Curling iron, curling iron, allergic reaction,” you say, pointing at each one as you assign their causes. “Sucks to be me, I know.”

“Y/N.”

“Kaori, I love you.”

She groans. “What happened to ‘no marks’?”

“Well, this was the first time with this guy,” you say sheepishly. “Didn’t exactly tell him the rules.”

“First time?” Kaori raises a brow. “Was it…”

“Yeah…”

“Oh fuck!” she exclaims. “Okay! What the fuck? And you didn’t tell us?”

“I’m telling you now, aren’t I?”

Yukie comes up to the two of you, drawn into the conversation by your screaming. “What is it?” she asks. “What’s going on?”

“She slept with Atsumu!”

“What? And you didn’t tell us?”

You pout and put your face in your hands. “Oh my god, could you be any louder?” you say. There are a few other girls in the room, but it’s not like they don’t know about you and Atsumu at this point. And you know more about their sex lives than you probably should anyway, so it all evens out. But still.

“Dude,” Kaori says, kneeling down in front of you and forcing you to look at her. She opens her hands in front of her and makes her palms face each other, holding them an inch apart. “Tell me when to stop,” she tells you, slowly moving her hands away from one another. She pauses when they’re four inches apart. “Bigger?”

You nod, feeling your face heat up as she continues moving her hands. She stops again. You wince. “Bigger.” With wide eyes, she increases the distance between her hands until you say, “Stop.”

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

Yukie gapes, staring at just how far apart your other friend’s hands are. “What the fuck.”

Kaori drops her hands and bows down in front of you, Yukie following suit. “You’re my new god, Y/N,” she says. “Fucking beast, I’m telling you.”

You roll your eyes and grab their arms. “Get up,” you say as the two of them resist you. “I’ll make you do laps if you don’t. I’m serious.” They know you're (probably) not serious but they get up anyway, sitting down on the bench beside you. Sometimes, you’re happy to be captain. Power is one hell of a drug.

“Was he good?” Yukie asks. “Like on a scale of one to ten.”

“Eight?”

“You’re lying.”

“I don’t know!” you throw your hands up in defeat. “He’s just… nice. And, I don’t know, I think I’m starting to like him a little.”

“No way! You have a crush on the guy you fucked?” Kaori asks sarcastically. “It’s like that’s totally never happened before!”

You frown. “Rin doesn’t count.”

“Oh, baby,” she says, smirking, “he always counts.”

Suna throws his head back, hips thrusting uncontrollably as he feels his orgasm creep up on him. His breath is ragged as his whole body starts to tense up. He can feel it, he’s so close.

“Fuck! I’m right there!”

“Come for me, Rin!”

“Feel so good, so good. I’m coming! Fuck! Y/N!”

He cum spills out into the condom as his whole body freezes. His eyes shift down to the girl beneath him who looks up with an awkward smile on her face. He’s such an asshole.

“It’s Ayame,” she says meekly as he slips out of her. She sits up with her legs pulled to her chest.

He takes the condom off and knots it before tossing it into the trash. He stays on the edge of the bed, back turned to the girl. “Right. Ayame,” he murmurs, “sorry.”

“It’s alright,” she tells him and he knows she probably means it. She’s one of those girls who would do anything for him. It’s why he texted her in the first place. He knew she’d say yes to whatever he asked for. “It’s Y/N L/N, right? I mean, she’s really pretty. Everyone wants her.”

A dry chuckle. “They do, don’t they?” he says quietly. He glances back at the girl and shrugs. “Sorry,” he says again. “My bad.”

notes. this was honestly one of my favorite chapters to write in the whole series 😩 like we have some atsumu and reader silliness with their friends AND suna angst??? all the things i love writing <3

if you haven’t seen the results of the poll from last chapter, you can find them here!! totally not what i expected but ykw i’m not complaining

#hqbaby.fyi #hqbaby #haikyuu #suna rintarou #suna #suna rintarou x reader #suna x reader #miya atsumu #atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #suna rintarou fic #suna fic #miya atsumu fic #atsumu fic #haikyuu fic

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bibli0thecary · 2 years

Text

No One Can Hurt You

summary: they would never bring you into the face of danger, but what if danger comes preying on you?

pairing (s): marc spector x reader, steven grant x reader, jake lockley x reader

word count: 2.7k

warning (s): break in, intruders, hurt/comfort

moon knight masterlist

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．

You had never been in the face of danger before. Your boyfriends would throw themselves off a cliff before they let anything bad happen to you. You were so precious to them that they would shield you from the horror of the world with all of their might. Of course, you knew what they do once the moon decorated the night sky, but they never let you get exposed to any danger.

You were the only person who could make them feel normal, sane, and they never wanted to taint your innocence with what they were doing. And to their relief, you were okay with it. As long as they came back to you, safe and sound, then you would never ask a question. So used to feeling safe all the time, you never expected that night to happen.

It was around 2 a.m. when you were jolted awake by a loud crash just outside of your home. Rubbing your eyes in a sleepy daze, you sat up in bed, thinking that your mind was tricking you. You grabbed your phone and saw a text from Marc who was fronting that night, saying good night and he loved you. You smiled, realising the text was sent just a few minutes before you fell asleep.

Another crash was heard and it alerted you to get out of the bed, gripping your phone tightly. You wanted to think that it was Marc who was outside of your home right now, but then again he had a key and if he left it, he would knock. He always did. He said he did not want to scare you, and you knew it was not him who was creeping outside of your home at the moment.

Walking out of your bedroom, you tried your hardest to be optimistic, that maybe your neighbour was getting in their home, dropping things on their way. It was foolish, but you just wanted to think of anything that could avoid you from being in a frightening situation which you were in.

But your heart ran a mile, fear was pumping through your veins as your eyes locked at the front door, seeing that someone was trying to break it. You shook your head, realising it must be more than a person who was breaking into your home, as you could hear distant whispers from them.

Your feet was glued to the floor, tears started to flood in your eyes. You wanted to tear your gaze from the door, but you could not. It felt like they could break the door anytime now, and you did not know what to do.

“Marc..”

You whispered under your breath, the thought of him was comforting you a bit.

You ran into your bedroom, locking the door before getting in the closet. You did not know if you were doing the right thing, but fear was clouding your mind as you called your boyfriend, hoping that he would answer.

After what felt like eternity, you heard his voice. You called out his name, not realising that your words were lost in your sobs, and tears were rolling down upon your cheeks. You had never felt so scared before that you felt like you might pass out in the closet.

“Why are you crying? Did something happen?”

His questions only made you cry harder, pulling your knees up against your chest as you tried to hide yourself even more if that was possible. Marc was on the other line, his heart was sinking to his stomach at the sound of your gut-wrenching sobs.

“Y/N, talk to me, sweetheart.”

“There’s someone outside. They’re trying to break the door and— And I don’t know what to do.”

Silence. Your heartbeat quickened as you could not hear him anymore, and it made you think of the worst.

“Marc, I’m scared.”

“I’m coming to you, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay.”

He promised, but you did not miss the tremble in his voice, worrying about you as he could hear how scared you were.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in my room. In the closet.”

“Alright, stay there. I’m coming.”

At his words, you were worried that he would stop talking to you and you would be alone again, with the intruders. But Marc stayed on the line, comforting you as much as he could.

“Y/N? Are you there? Tell me what’s going on.”

He frantically asked, as he heard you screamed. His heart shattered, hoping that nothing bad was happening to you. Then he heard your voice again, calming him down a bit. But your next words made his blood run cold.

“They broke the front door… They’re coming in.”

You cried, hugging your phone close to your chest as Marc was no longer responding to you. You did not know what was going on with him, but he had stopped talking and you were scared to death. You needed him there with you.

You could hear footsteps coming closer towards your bedroom, and you prayed that they would take what was in the living room and leave. But that did not happen. A loud bang could be heard and you flinched, trying not to scream.

They were trying to get into your bedroom.

Putting a hand over your mouth, you silenced your cry as you felt fear growing in your chest. You tried to think of your boyfriends, wanting to believe that they would get here in time and everything would be fine. The thoughts dissolved from your mind when you heard another set of footsteps coming, letting you know that there was another intruder who just arrived, and when he did, your bedroom door was flung open.

You could not think of anything that would make them come to you. Perhaps they just wanted money and they would leave. You knew you were wrong when your life suddenly became a walking nightmare, as they opened the closet, amused smirks were on their faces once they spotted you.

They were not looking for anything else, but you.

“Let me go!”

You screamed, as they dragged you out of the closet by your arm. You hated to see how proud they were to see the fear in your eyes, and you were not letting them get the satisfaction. It was imprudent but you were not going down without a fight.

Somehow you managed to kick one of the men in the groin, making him fall on the floor. It only seemed to anger the other two when one of them easily held you back, since he was much bigger than you. You glared daggers at the man who was standing in front of you, swallowing the fear which was starting to suffocate you.

“I know you’re scared. But if keep your mouth shut, we’ll make this easier for you.”

If you were not so frightened, you would have rolled your eyes at his words. You did not know where you got the courage, but he pissed you off so much with his arrogance when he was breaking into your home.

“You’re that pathetic that you need to bring your friends just to get me alone?”

The man was not happy, but you did not regret a word you say. He slapped you hard across the face, that you could taste blood on your tongue. A groan escaped your lips, staring back at him who had a nasty smile on his face.

“You’re going to regret laying your hand on me.”

“Why would I?”

He laughed, and you tried to get out of his friend’s grip when he threw you on the bed harshly. Tears streamed down your face as you felt another slap on your cheek, your ears were ringing and you were getting dizzy. You were sure there was blood on your face, and the thought of dying was chasing you.

You thought you were imagining things when you saw a familiar figure standing in the room, but then when you heard his voice, you almost cried again, but not out of fear this time.

“Close your eyes, princesa.”

Jake’s voice was enough to comfort you, as you closed your eyes. Knowing how violent he could be, you did not dare to open your eyes before he asked you to. Jake would hate himself if you ever had to witness him murdering those people, even if he was protecting you. He never wanted your head to be tainted with the murders. You were his heart, his innocence and his trust— And he loved you to death.

Hearing screams from the men, you almost felt bad, but then you reminded yourself that you should not. Minutes felt like hours when you finally felt arms around you, making you flinched in fear.

“It’s me, princesa. It’s alright now. Look at me.”

You opened your eyes to find your lover’s gaze on you, and you did not wait any second to throw yourself into his arms. Jake could hear the breaking of his heart as you sobbed into his chest, body trembling with worry and fear from what just happened.

“When you said that they broke the front door, I took over from Marc. Do you need Marc? I can—“

“Please don’t leave me.”

You buried your face closer in his chest if that was possible, and Jake would put a bullet in his head before he could leave you crying like that. The only reason he offered to let Marc front was because he thought he was the worst at comforting you, but it was clear you did not want him to leave, and he was more than happy to provide you comfort.

“I need to get you out of here first. Is that alright?”

You nodded weakly, realising that there must be bodies in your bedroom right now. The thought sent shivers running down your spine, not daring to look around as Jake carried you in his arms, a hand was covering your face to make sure that you did not see anything that was going on the room.

You only opened your eyes when you felt the comfort of Steven’s bed, their bed, and Jake placed a kiss on your forehead. He looked at you for a moment, contemplating whether to tell you or not about what he was feeling. But when you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, he knew he had to. You were so important to him.

“I was scared something bad would happen to you, and I never get scared before.”

He confessed, caressing your face in his hands softly. His gaze hardened when he saw a bruise started to form on your face. Your bottom lip was split, and his heart clenched at the sight of your blood. He could tolerate blood but not yours. They hurt you.

“As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you ever again.”

Rage was dripping from his voice, but you knew it was not directed to you. Seeing a frown on his face, you put your hands on his wrists. Your touch calmed him down, and only you had the effect on him.

“I’m safe now. Thank you for saving me. I love you.”

Jake shook his head, not believing that you were thanking him. He felt like he was going to die when he saw those men in your home, and he never wanted you to feel threatened ever again.

“I love you.”

He whispered, kissing your forehead again, just to remind himself that you were there in his arms and you were safe. You let him hold you, knowing that he needed to feel your presence. After a moment, you felt him shifted a bit, a faint smile found its way on your face.

“Love? Are you alright?”

Steven was worried as he sat up in bed, putting his hand on your chin as he studied your face. He winced when he noticed that you were hurt, and the look in his eyes almost made you cry.

“It’s okay, Steven. Don’t worry about me.”

“It’s not okay, love. You’re hurt.”

Steven felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He promised you so many times that he would never let anyone hurt you, and yet there you were, with bruised cheeks and bloodied lips. He wanted to tell himself that it could have been worse and he should be grateful that you were alive, but he could not help but be worried of you.

“Steven, my love, I’m fine.”

You tried to convince him, as he treated your bruises with an ice pack, careful not to hurt you even more. Steven hushed you, and it brought a smile on your face. When he was done, he kissed your nose softly, making a chuckle escaped your lips.

“I love you, Steven.”

His smile disappeared from his face, and you tilted your head a bit, wondering what was going on in his head. He took your hands in his, kissing your knuckles as he tried his best not to break into tears in front of you.

“I love you too. I don’t know what I would do if something bad happened to you tonight.”

His voice cracked, and tears pooled in his eyes. You rested your forehead against his, the fear and worry that you felt tonight were nothing compared to the warmth of his arms. His scent comforted you in a way that only he could, making tears spilled from your eyes.

“I’m here now and I’m safe.”

Steven nodded at your words, letting himself cry as well. Seeing the bruises on your face was a reminder that someone had gotten to you, no matter how hard they tried to shield you away from danger, it seemed like the world has another plan for you.

“Did you see what happen to them?”

You shook your head at his question, and he let out a sigh. Steven wanted the intruders to get what they deserved, but he despised the thought of you seeing what happened to them once Jake was there. The sight of killings would change you forever, and he would not want that.

“Jake made sure that I saw nothing.”

“We love you, you know that, right?”

You smiled, nodding your head. Steven laid in bed with you in his arms, drawing stars on your back as it always managed to lull you to sleep. However, you could not bring yourself to sleep, as the fear still lingered in the back of your mind, and Steven could feel how tense you were.

You knew you were safe, and that was what you had been saying to your boyfriends. But your head was a cruel space, and it was as if you could still hear the loud crash outside of your home, and the breaking of your bedroom door.

You did not realise that you were crying, not until your boyfriend wiped your tears away. You looked up at him, recognising his warm eyes right away as you let out a choked sob from your throat.

“Marc..”

Your whimper struck him across his heart, and his arms around you tightened. He would always be there to chase your fear away. He would die protecting you if he had to. He would choose you over the whole world if it ever came to it.

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m here.”

You curled your hand in fist around his shirt, as he pulled you closer to him. You only needed to know that he was there, and it was enough to let you know that you did not have to be scared of anything now. Marc was there with you.

“I love you. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

He promised, rocking you in his arms gently. You felt safe around Steven and Jake, but there was something about Marc that felt like home, and you could feel your eyes fluttering shut at the sound of his voice.

“I love you too, Marc.”

You finally let sleep claimed you, as Marc stayed awake for the rest of the night, never once did he take his gaze away from your sleeping figure. And when you woke up the next morning, Marc kept his promise as he was still there with you. Your lovers would never leave you.

#steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #jake lockley #steven grant #marc spector #moon knight x reader #moon knight

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rea-can-yeet · 9 months

Text

I’m not reallyy confident with this oneeee lmao. Probably should have not wrote this during a burn out. I wonder if I could draw my barbie series this week

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REMINDER: This is gender neutral for all readers. Sagau stands for Self Aware Genshin Alternative Universe, but this is leaning much towards the God/Creator AU where the characters are aware that they’re being controlled but not aware enough to know that they’re in a game. This story is set in God/Creator AU, imposter AU, and lastly villain AU. This contains religious and cult themes, graphic violence, and probably some suggestive scenes (not this chapter yet, but the series will show some) so viewer’s discretion is advised.

_______________________________________

🔻

♦️

𝕄𝕌𝕋𝕀ℕ𝔼𝔼ℝ

Y/n was known as someone... normal to most. But if you have taken the time to get to know them, going so far as saying that you've known them for their whole life, you'd know Y/n as someone who'd be willing to commit a crime if the need arises. Such a thing has not happened so far (or at least one that gets the authorities’ attention), because Y/n's tenacity to thrive with their own hard work and resources has carried them away from resorting to such actions.

Y/n was clever.

Not a genius, but clever enough to survive in this generation's fast pace and harsh waters veiled under surface media's insistent idea of a calm country.

That's what Y/n's friend believes. This girl was fortunate enough to have been born wealthy, in contrast to her friend, Y/n, who was not poor but not well-off enough. She thinks Y/n was heaven-sent. No one was as loyal as them. Most approached her for their own selfishness, for their own benefit. Honestly, the world has less and less dependable and honest folks these days, she thought. Y/n was the only person to not try to exploit her ever since kindergarten and genuinely was a true friend to her to this day.

But like the wise once said; no one is perfect.

Y/n is nice… but is not harmless.

Y/n is clever, and parents who have no wealth enough to protect their child, have honed Y/n to survive any worst-case scenario. Be it how to manage money and tax, how to find a job, how to fix house materials, how to survive in the wild, how to defend against assailants that are twice their size, and other skills beneficial for Y/n.

Their parents almost thought that most of the knowledge they've bestowed on Y/n would prove to be useless in this current generation, but one could never be too careful.

They're happy for their child, how reliable they are, how Y/n used their parent's teachings as the foundation to hone their own weapon and armor, using the resources from this generation accompanied by old techniques to thrive. And they’re glad to see how Y/n is still capable of being kind despite having the child see the world without the rose-tinted glasses.

But for Y/n's friend, it's different. But it is normal for parents not to know every aspect of their child, right? The parents are correct when they believe that Y/n is nice yet strong, but the side of Y/n that is capable of being unhinged is something Y/n would keep to themselves to save their parents from a heart attack. But as Y/n's friend, she had the privilege to know this side of them.

The one who gets to see the Y/n that doesn't have the goody-two-shoes on to save them from any inconvenience.

The one who gets to see the Y/n that would use their cleverness to seek vengeance against others.

"Did you hear? I heard that the teacher from the other department got a suspension. Maybe getting fired."

"Right? The same person that accused a student from the Engineering department of stealing."

"A friend of mine who had a friend from that department said that the student was innocent."

"How did they prove it?"

"I heard that they still had the receipt from when they last shopped at a store. The time the teacher claimed that the student had stolen from her classroom was around the time that the student was shopping. The receipt contained the purchases as well as the date and time the transaction happened in there, serving as their alibi."

"How lucky that the student hasn't thrown away any receipts that day, huh?"

"Right? I'd throw away the receipt after shopping if it were me. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that teacher possibly getting fired. She's been suspected of drug use. The superiors and the police are still looking into it."

"I heard someone had given evidence to the police. A CCTV footage or something. This week has been full of things to distract me from mid-terms. And it doesn't help that the jock Steph has been admiring got kicked out from the basketball team."

"Yeah, not that I'm surprised after what he did. The captain must have been so livid to find his girlfriend's panties inside that guy's locker."

"Don't you think it's possibly the girlfriend's fault though? Like how did her panties get inside his locker? Sus..."

"No, the girl was with the captain the whole time... Oh and..."

The two students that were walking in front of her had finally swerved into a new topic while taking a left towards their classroom. She can only sigh, seriously, who knew criminology students can be this nosy? Then again, she could see how this characteristic could be useful for them.

She too, enters her classroom upon arriving. She spots her h/c friend playing with their phone, and she approaches. She sits down on the chair beside them, greeting them a good morning to which Y/n reciprocates before proceeding to finish their game.

“Hey, the prof. is coming.”

“Haha, I won’t fall for that again.” Y/n laughs lightly, eyes still on their screen.

“I know, but I want to talk with you about something.” And with this, Y/n turns off their phone to face her.

“Y’know, I heard people talking about the incident with that Karen teacher… and also the jock.”

Y/n hums, a smile on their face. “Hmm is that so?”

She watches Y/n place a hand under her chin with the elbow propped on their table, finger tapping on their cheek as Y/n wears a wider smile, eyes crinkling in faux innocence. “I guess it can’t be helped. I too would do the same.”

The girl can only sigh at her friend who was still holding that innocent look in their e/c eyes. She stops beating around the bush and gets to the point, curiosity eating at her as she is dying to know what Y/n had done this time. “Good thing that you still carried around that receipt Y/n. You wouldn’t have proved that you’re not a thief. But please bless your friend with the tea cuz I’m dying to know. Like, everything. From the teacher to the jock, everything bestie babes.”

She watch Y/n who only giggled, as if they have not just ruined someone. “Easy peasy, I followed my parent’s tips about keeping receipts. And used a good data recovery app to get the deleted CCTV footage.”

“I’ll hit you y’know.” She said annoyed as Y/n laughs. They then decide that they’re already done messing around and explain to their dear friend everything that happened. Not that it’s anything amazing in Y/n’s eyes. To them, it wasn’t that hard or anything incredible, just actions that they needed to take, but who were they to deny their friend to satiate their curiosity? Someone’s gotta entertain a rich girl’s dull life, and Y/n happens to provide enough exciting exploits.

You wonder how Bennett is taking this whole thing. He knows you, he knows that you know him. If someone knows someone’s name when they just met should garner suspicion. But he didn’t even think twice to help you. This doesn’t make sense to you.

And despite this being a game in your world, you have expected that there’s a system procedure that should have been followed, and bringing you to Jean immediately is something weird. Why is a stranger suddenly being brought to the acting grandmaster? Shouldn’t you be brought to someone of low rank for help or investigation till your situation was deemed appropriate to be handled by someone higher? After all, you’re not an immediate priority, so why bring you to Jean?

You both are walking down towards the city you assume. And so far Bennett was such a kind young man, the same from the game. Helping you out when you almost tripped (intentionally), gave you something to eat, and even showed a bright smile every time you show appreciation towards him. You decided to even shower some small compliments towards the poor boy, to which he gets shy, rubbing his head while bashfully looking away.

After walking for some time you realize the exact location you have arrived. It turns out that you woke up on the edge of the Snow-Covered Path. And now the two of you are walking on a path that leads to Daduapa Gorge. Following this (long) path, it will lead you to Windrise and then eventually to Mondstadt. If you were still in control of the game, you would have resorted to either just using the waypoints or scaling the mountains for shortcuts rather than using the current path. But Bennett insisted that following the path was much safer.

You think you have cozied him enough.

“So I want to ask you something, Bennett.” You asked, eyes staring at a sunsettia, pushing down the urge to ‘farm’ it. He looks at you, his attention bare for your question. “You seem to know me. May I ask? How do you know me?”

“What do you mean, your grace?” Asked Bennett, confused. At least Bennett is comfortable enough that he does not hesitate to answer without worrying about his words.

“Why do you call me ‘Your Grace’ Bennett?”

He pauses his steps and so do you. “You… You don’t know who you are?

“Well, I know my name is Y/n. Grew up in C/n, an Aerospace Engineer student, e/c eyes and h/c hair, home address is XXXXXXX, and still waiting for TBHK season two. I know myself completely, from childhood, my emo era, to my current state now. What I’m confused about is why I’m called the way you’re calling me now.”

“Do you at least know about Teyvat? Me? Your chosen blessed vessels? The Grand Plan?” He asks, every question turning him even more worried.

“I mean, I can’t lie. I know you, I know about Teyvat. Not much about chosen blessed vessels or the Grand Plan trademark.” It looks like it’s not just Bennett who got comfortable.

Bennett’s eyes shined at the prospect of you getting closer to understanding what he meant, although slightly. “Yes, Your Grace! Me and Teyvat!”

“However, that does not answer my question. Why do you call me that?”

“I…” His smile falters, “You don’t know what you are?”

You chuckle, “How am I supposed to know if you don’t tell me.”

“You’re supposed to be our creator!” He said worriedly, eyes expectant.

“You’re what now?” You said almost immediately.

“Our divine Creator! The one who breathes life into Teyvat! Who makes anything move according to your will! Weaving fate towards the ultimate Grand Plan. You who…” His voice lowers, eyes cast down, “You who made me feel like I was not worthless…”

“Benny… You are never worthless.” You reassured, hand on his shoulder.

Bennett suppressed the feeling of melting right there on the spot, your touch was comforting, it made him drop any guard he had and the urge to just lean onto you was so immense but he refrains. ‘You really are the creator… I can feel it.’

“But still, me? Creator? How? I don’t think I’m this omnipotent being you’re talking about. I don’t have memories of making Teyvat.” You said after letting go of his shoulder and stepping back a bit.

‘For all we know, this could just be the regular Teyvat. Then again, this Teyvat may as well be the Teyvat in my account too. We’ll confirm that when we find what point of the story Aether is in now. If it’s the same as in my account, then this is Teyvat from my account. If he’s on his way to leave Sumeru to look for the Hydro Archon, then it’s the cannon Teyvat of Mihoyo.’

She internally sighs, ‘But will that be enough to tell? Even if Aether is at the point of the story where I have last left him, I don’t think it’s enough to prove that this is my account. I need more concrete evidence. Knowing what state Teyvat is in right now will help me in getting back home... I hope.’

“Is there proof that I’m this… Creator? I don’t even know what you mean about this blessed vessel thing.”

“You know me but you don’t know the other vessels? And the Grand Plan?” He asked, “The last person your divine gaze has been on was the Traveler.”

You register what he meant about blessed vessels. It took some time to connect the dots but you get it now. The last character you used to farm was Aether, the Traveler. So these ‘blessed’ vessels are the characters that you control. And ‘divine gaze’ is probably you using them. Now how odd… divine gaze? Why does it sound familiar to you?

Ah right. Isn’t that what Blueberry- correction, Il Dottore, said during the Harbinger’s trailer? About Scaramouche conquering the divine gaze and shit? Well, you don’t really have time to contemplate that yet. Especially when you notice Bennett getting worried about your silence. You give him a smile.

“Ah, right. I didn’t really understand at first, but by vessels, do you mean the people I have controlled? Like Ae- the Traveller, Mona, Klee, you, Kaeya, and the others from here and the other nations?”

Bennett’s eyes brighten when the two of you have somehow landed on the same idea now, finally making an understanding with each other. “Yes! See? I knew you’d remember!”

“Hold your horses, little guy,” you let out a laugh, “I control some of you, so what? That does not answer my true identity.”

“But what powerful being could make us feel like we’re in a dream? Being controlled and making us stronger? No one in Teyvat could do that, at least control a lot of people without brainwashing or any dark magic according to Miss Lisa. You control us with divine powers that are strong yet warm at the same time. You gave us gifts, strength, and unforgettable adventures.”

You’re eyes widened. Of course, why didn’t you think of that?

“Okay, million dollar question-” Bennett’s confused but still listens, “-did you receive a Skyward Blade? Like around recently?”

Bennett gasps before nodding vigorously. “Yes! Yes, I did!” A bounce on his step as he gets a bit closer, “I heard you whisper that you’d test it out on a few Hilichurls! We took down at least 4 camps the other day!”

‘He’s right.’

“Then, did you also go around and collected a bunch of Sweet Flowers after?”

“Yes! We collected some Sweet Flowers and a few Sunsettias.”

‘Okay, holy crap this is my account.’ You thought while holding your head a bit. That’s one mystery closed, but didn’t mean that you have your questions answered.

“So everyone in Teyvat just collectively agreed that whoever is controlling you all are… your god?”

Seems impossible for you. Who in their right mind would just automatically say that you’re god? You know some well-brained characters in the game, those who are also politically influential and prodigies in certain fields, would find it concerning to suddenly lose their own control and start running around.

“Could you explain this Creator thing? I first used- I first had Amber as a vessel aside from the Traveler, it should have been worrying for Amber to suddenly lose control of herself. But looking at it, you act as if it’s not a huge concern. How are you confident that the one who is controlling her is your so-called Creator?”

Bennett nods, digesting his Creator’s question. He doesn’t understand why his creator is not sure, but he’ll try to help explain however he could.

“When Amber first got ‘pulled’ towards the divine light, she went to acting grand master Jean, I was there when I was getting treated by Barbara with Jean visiting the church for an inspection. At first, it was concerning but after some investigation with Jean and Miss Lisa, it was confirmed that it was the Creator. Then everyone was happy to have you showing yourself after going missing for centuries. According to Miss Lisa, you have a Grand Plan to guide the people, saying that salvation will come in a form of a person, with you guiding them.”

“Lisa said that? How do you think she knows that? And what is this Grand Plan?”

“Miss Lisa has read all the information regarding the Creator during her time in Sumeru and even from the books here in Mondstadt, she said. I don’t know about this Grand Plan too, no one does. Some have theories, but the only one who knows is the Creator. We thought only Mondstadters got the opportunity to be blessed as vessels, but it turns out others from different nations got the same treatment. Everyone has now believed that you’re starting to let your presence known.”

‘Huh, I guess I have a somewhat established title here for such a long time? And with religious power to boot? This is already starting to get even more confusing. Answers are only bringing in more questions.’

“You don’t remember the Grand Plan?” Asked Bennett worriedly, you could only smile.

“I’m sorry, I don’t.”

Bennett can only shake his head. “It’s just… you’re suddenly showing signs of activity and with your actions so far that matches with the scriptures and the bible, we knew that you were our Creator! So what if you forget about the Grand Plan? You’re already showing signs of being our Creator! You know about our adventure, it showed that you have been with us with your divine presence. You’ve made me stronger, you gifted me this amazing sword. To me, you’re the Creator I’ve been praying to.”

‘Is he trying to encourage me? How sweet.’ You smile gently and pat his head. He wears that shy face again and stands up straight after you prop your hand back to your side, his face getting back to its cheerful look.

“And besides! I read in the bible a long time ago that you needed a reminder or something! So you probably just need something to help you remember!”

You hum. Now that’s interesting. So far everything felt like a fever dream, ridiculous yet… amusing. You guess it won’t hurt entertaining the idea of you being god for a while (even though you doubt it) “What else have you learned from the bible, Bennett?”

“Um, about how you look! You’re hair, your face, oh! And your name!”

“Uhuh, then?” You smiled. You find yourself doing this for your own enjoyment rather than for your own investigation to find home. But it won’t hurt to be unserious for a bit, right?

“Yeah, you’re name. Though, not many used it because they didn't want to use your name in vain. Your name is Y/n, Y/n L/n. And what else…” Bennett started to act bashful, realizing that he did not read his bible much. Oh Celestia, what would you think of him ditching the bible to play? Hopefully, you wouldn’t mind.

“I’m sorry, that’s all I could remember so far-” Bennett stops. His eyes went wide with worry as he sees your shocked face, the silence unnerved him as he stares back at your unreadable face.

Why were you looking at him like that?

_________________________________________

End of chapter 3: Purple Carnations

_________________________________________

#sagau #genshin cult au #genshin self aware #sagau villain au #sagau impostor au #imposter sagau

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mrs-kodzuken · 16 days

Note

so hi! i'm the coach ukai ask anon 👋🏻

i just thought about reader being the volleyball team advisor along with takeda. and the boys definitely ships them all the time, and convincing him to confess 🤣

then when reader and coach got wed, ofc the boys are all there! 🥹

tysm again and have a nice day! 🥰

Aligned feelings & goals ♡

Pairing: Keishin Ukai x fem!reader

WC: 2.1k

Genre: fluff

CW: fem!reader, advisor!reader, best friend!Takeda, fluff, oc ukai since my first time writing for him, reader is a couple years younger than ukai, they crush on each other like they’re in high school

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖ ˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

Being twenty-five and working in a high school as the office registrar who takes and checks attendance wasn't something I ever had planned. I always dreamed of having my own tea shop by this time in age, however, being the volleyball teams' second advisor really had its perks.

I was able to care and look after silly, ambitious high school kids but the really huge perk to that was that I had a special piece of eye candy to look forward to.

"Miss (Y/n)? Are you listening?" My coworker, Takeda, asked me politely as this was an often occurrence.

"Yes! What was it again?" I sheepishly asked, blinking my eyes in a way to make my good ole' friend view me as innocent.

"The papers, they need to be taken to the back gym. I'm so swamped, so do you mind?" He asked, swirling back around in his office chair after shoving the papers in my hand.

I took them but squinted my eyes at him when I knew he had already finished everything he had needed and was bluffing.

I scoffed, "Swamped? Yeah, okay..." I trailed off, rolling my eyes and leaving my own comfy, grey swirly chair.

As I began my walk towards the back gym, my hears picked up on the sounds of volleyballs smacking the floors very hard and the squeaking of gym shoes. I tried to hide my small smile but just couldn't, I loved these kids.

I especially liked their coach too, however, I would die before I admitted that.

Besides only having a couple boyfriends in high school, I basically knew nothing about dating—especially dating as adults. So, I kept quiet about my small crush in which only Takeda knew about it.

I eyed inside the gym, watching the boys while waiting for someone to come near the doorway since I was too focused on seeing Ukai that I didn't bring my correct shoes. Luckily, Daichi saw me waving around the papers but I didn't expect what was to come because of that.

"Oh hey! It's (Y/n) coach." He announced, effectively stopping all movement in the gym and all eyes on me—including those particular dark brown eyes. I could feel a small heat run slowly vibrate through my body.

"Hey! I'm just dropping off these for Takeda. How's practice coming along? Any new moves guys?" I asked, trying my best to be normal and limit conversation with Ukai only because I wouldn't ever want to stop.

"Nishinoya is teaching me how to do a rolling thunder!" The first-year Hinata explained to me excitedly with the onomatopoeia touching his words. I couldn't help but to smile in amazement at the kid.

I've been one of the volleyball teams advisors so I know all of the third and second-years all too well. It was just the first-years I was trying really hard to make a good connection with, which was necessary if I still wanted to continue to be an advisor.

"Oh wow, that sounds so cool!" I played into his words too with excitement.

"(Y/n), I'll take those papers. Thank you for bringing them along." Ukai spoke, his deep voice reverberating through me and suddenly the heat was back.

"Oh! Yeah," I let out a nervous laugh, handing them to him as our hands brushed which sent a volt of electric shock through my body.

His tall frame leaned over me, the nice headband pushing his pretty hair back—man did he look good.

"I should probably get back to work. Bye guys." I said, breaking our concentrated gaze and waving to leave. I can't get caught up in his eyes, the team was there and that'd be weird for all of us.

Usually, I'd stay and help Kiyoko with coming up with notes of things that needed to be done like cleaning wise of our volleyball teams' banner, uniform shenanigans, finding another team manager since she was indeed a third-year, and money issues.

However, the fact that Ukai was there, he would distract me more and more until I couldn't focus.

I came to the conclusion that my feelings were one-sided and tried to keep my fondness for him to myself—and Takeda. However, I couldn't help but to hear a little "ooo" in the background as I was walking away from the sports club.

I groaned as I smacked my head onto my desk which was my usual manner, then my complaining would start.

"You know..." I started off with before I heard Takeda whisper, "Here we go,"

"Hey! You're my friend, you should be a good friend and listen to my woes!" I reprimanded him with a glare before continuing.

"Oh woe is me! I just wish things were different and that I actually had the courage to confess. Is that even a thing anymore for people our age?" I rhetorically asked, even though I really did want an answer to my question.

I complained about how much I liked Ukai and how things in my life weren't how I wished they'd be—in which he would just say, "for now."

As I laid my head down I couldn't help but to remember a memory from a few weeks ago.

Kiyoko and I had just finished planning what needed to be done to the uniforms for the boys and my back was so sore from slouching.

Leaning straight, I heard my back pop and groaned.

"Miss (Y/n)? Did you ever think about other careers besides this one? I know dealing with high school kids can be a bit much sometimes," Kiyoko's soft voice reached my ears.

"Hm, yeah I do actually. I have always wanted to open up my own tea shop before," I smiled softly thinking of Ukai and how he took care of his mother's store as his own.

It's honestly a great act of compassion.

I glanced over to see if Ukai was listening and in fact, he was. I twinkled at how he was trying to appear as if he wasn't listening in on my dreams.

However, he's one of the main reasons why I even started talking about my tea shop with other people.

I could tell that his eyes were sparkling with curiosity of wanting to know who exactly made me feel this way.

I still get butterflies in my stomach every single time I think of that particular memory. The next thing I knew the school day was over and it was practically time to leave and go home. I never spaced out about Ukai that hard before.

Gathering my things, I said bye to Takeda. I knew we'd both have to be here tomorrow to finish up the last minute work that he pushed away.

My business-casual clothing was starting to make me itch in all in wrong places and I was suddenly happy that I wore flats instead of business heels today. As I made my way home, enjoying the fresh soon-to-be-summer breeze through the air, I realized today was unfortunately clean day.

I forgot that I needed to pick up more bathroom cleaner and kitchen spray which was a coincidence because on my way home the Sakanoshita Market was right there.

I chuckled at my silly behavior of getting giddy over entering, in which the little chime sounded. Surprisingly, Ukai was working even though it was right after school too.

"Hey, I was wondering where the cleaning supplies is..?" I looked over to Ukai, his eyes wide for a split second before turning back to normal after realizing that I was asking him a question.

"It's, uh, in the far back to the left." He pointed, trying to show me around the aisle of the left side.

I shone him a smile over my shoulder as a thanks and then headed my way towards where he directed. When I finally decided on what scent and kind of specific cleaning products I wanted, I made my way up front once again.

"Will that be all today, (Y/n)?" Ukai asked me as he scanned my items and bagging them. However, what threw me off guard was the way he said my name. It was something about the deep voice of his that made me swoon.

"Yeah, I think so. Wait, is it supposed to be that much?" I questioned, seeing the extremely low number in cost and that number was lower than what a convenience store should charge too.

"No, it's right. You get a little discount for being a wonderful person." He winked, which obviously made me blush never-ending.

"Ah, thank you so much. I really appreciate it aha," I gave him the very few cents and took my bag, walking out of the store. It seemed like he wanted to say more from the look on his face but I wasn't going to stay behind and make him uncomfortable if he didn't.

That interaction stayed on my mind all night and the following morning as I made my way briskly towards the school once again. I silently cursed myself for wanting to leave all the work for today instead of just enjoying a day at home.

I settled into the office, opening a window to let the breeze in. Takeda eventually came into work as well and we spent the morning and some of our lunch finishing the work nonstop.

I stretched my arms above my head, my limbs popping in some places due to my age.

“Agh, I’m getting old.” I told to Takeda, looking over at him trying to see if he heard my bones popping like I had.

“Yeah, just wait till you’re my age, (Y/n).” He chucked, straightening our last papers that we printed out and completed. I believe they were permission forms that needed to be signed by the volleyball teams’ parents.

“If those are going to the gym then I can take them? I need to get up and stretch anyways,” I looked at Takeda then back at the forms because they were my ticket to seeing Ukai again.

“Be my guest. I’ll be out of here soon as well, so be sure to take your things.” He told me in which I grabbed my bag and fast paced my way out of that room.

Man, I sure did love summer. The breeze, the birds chirping, the flowers. It was a beautiful sight, however that sight was going to have to wait for another day because I was on a mission.

As per usual, I walked to the gym and listened to the shoes moving around of the court. The doors were slightly ajar, which seemed to be the usual lately.

Peeking through, I noticed that the boys were playing their very best—more than usual. I do remember that the tournaments are coming up soon which would probably enhance their performance on regular practice matches.

However, all of that greatness flew out the window as soon as they noticed my presence from the doorway.

“Uh… keep playing like normal boys,” I waved, trying not to draw a lot of attention to myself. However, before that could even happen Ukai’s voice spoke out.

“Actually, Daichi you’re in charge till I’m back.” Ukai stated and motioned for me to follow him around the back of the gym.

A pool of nervousness flowed into my stomach as I walked behind him, curious to know of what he wants.

I almost bumped into him from how closely I was following behind and from how fast he stopped.

“Ukai..?” I questioned, awaiting for his response as to why I was brought to the back side of the gym.

“(Y/n),” He turned around, peering down into my own nervous eyes with his almond brown eyes.

“I like you. As a twenty-six year old man, I’m admitting that I have a crush on you. Do you accept my feelings?” His left arm in his pocket and his right scratching the back of his head was a sight.

I could feel the surprise on my face and from how ‘high school’ this confession felt.

I opened my mouth to reply and a noise came out that I didn’t expect.

“Woahhhhh!!” and then I noticed the entire volleyball team watching us. Which means they must’ve heard Keishin’s confession to me.

“Get back inside now! You noisy kids.” Ukai grumbled, probably because they messed up his heartfelt confession.

A chuckle came from my lips and I tried to cover it when he looked at me.

“I do. I accept your confession.” I smiled brightly up at him, happy with the school girl feelings I was having at the moment.

“I haven’t felt like this since high school, definitely takes me back.” He commented, looking away but he couldn’t escape the small blush that I saw on his cheeks.

“Same here. I hope good things stem from this confession, Keishin.” I smiled up to him, calling him by his first name.

“As do I, (Y/n).”

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a/n: I’m so sorry that this took me forever, I’ve never wrote for Ukai before and it put me at a writers block! I didn’t incorporate the last few details into it but I still hope you like it nevertheless anon!!

you all know my header rules, if not see pinned post!!

#haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #hq x reader #kodzu girl blogging #kodzu indulges!#kodzu writing #hq imagines #hq x you #kodzu fics #ukai keishin #ukai #ukai x reader #coach ukai #haikyuu ukai #ukai jr #keishin ukai #hq

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robinhobiii · 8 months

Text

Antithesis

An-tith-uh-sis

noun

a person or thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something else.

Assassin! Minghao

A skilled assassin and never missing a single hit. That’s what Xu Minghao was. A man with few words and lets his weapons do the talking. So, it comes as a surprise to his other members when a cute and bubbly Y/n appears by his side on his off days.

They’re total opposites. Everything was polar opposite. From their clothes, music tastes to even their preferred food. Even though she was shy, she could talk so freely to him. His stoic face never changing as she smiled and talks about her day. At first his members thought it was to mess with them. But the more she came around, the less they thought about that.

Now they wanted to know, what was attracting them to each other? They understood the concept of opposites attracting but, they really couldn’t believe it. One of the most ruthless man they know on the team, was letting a pastel princess talk about her dilemma between a pink and white dress or lavender and white dress. It was almost outrageous at this point.

“Hao, so should I get the pink one or the lavender one?”

“Why not get both?” He said stoically.

“Huh? Both? I don’t have that kind of money to get both.”

“I’ll buy it.”

. . .

It was unknown to the boys on how those two met.

“Maybe, they met at the same bar?” Soonyoung suggested.

“No, no. They must’ve met at that one mall he likes going to.” Seokmin said.

“That expensive ass mall??” Seungkwan chipped in.

“Yeah, he’s always there to get his collection of black clothes.” Seokmin finished.

“No, obviously they met at one of his missions coincidently and now they’re inseparable.” Seungkwan said with a look of satisfaction.

Minghao snorted quietly as he heard their convo. That’s not how they met.

Minghao was currently in the frozen yogurt shop after just assassinating a politician and he was staring at his phone. He was waiting for the line to progress and looked up to see that the employees were putting the toppings in the containers.

“Sorry miss, there’s no more m&m’s.” The teenager smirked.

Y/n looked flustered because she just saw them restocking it. She couldn’t find the correct words to say. He saw it as well and he didn’t know what possessed him to defend her.

“We just saw you restock that huge bin of m&m’s.” His voice sent shivers down everyone’s spine. His lanky statue was helping his intimidating look.

“O-oh, are you two together?” The teenager suddenly stuttered out.

“Yeah, would you hurry up.”

Soon they both walked out with two frozen yogurts, one with m&m’s and the other with Oreos.

“Uh, t-thank you for helping me back there.” She shyly said.

“It’s nothing.” He said as he started to walk away.

“W-wait.”

He turned around to face her. She smile softly and Minghao was convinced that was what an angel looked like. “I can’t just let you go without repaying you. You payed for my cup. Let me repay you somehow”

He smirked. “So, a cutie like you can talk for yourself.” He chuckled. “Sure.”

And that’s how they met. She’s been stuck to him since then. He didn’t mind as she added that sunshine he’s been missing in his life. Innocent ole y/n of course didn’t know what he did for a living. Of course she questions and he said that he worked for the company “Highlight,” as a consultant in financial department. She don’t really believe him since he was covered in tattoos. He could tell that she didn’t believe but he didn’t push, because it was the truth. He did work as a consultant in the morning at Highlight. At nighttime though, that was a different story.

. . .

“Hao, we should see the fireworks tonight.” She said as she stuffed her face with chips.

He smiled at her puffed up cheeks and brushed the extra crumbs away from the corner of her lips. She blushed as the turned away.

“Sure.”

Soonyoung looked at him with wide eyes.

“Eissa, you just said you don’t want to go.”

“Well now I do.”

“I’ve been telling you since last month and you’ve been saying no.”

“I want to go now.”

Soonyoung simply squinted his eyes. “Y/n, would you like to join me and the others on a trip to Busan?”

“Sure! Who else is going?” She smiled softly.

“Me, Seungkwan, Seokmin, Hansol, and Channie.”

“Sounds fun, when are you leaving?”

Minghao looked like he was going to murder him. “No”

Y/n looked at him confused and Soonyoung simply smirked.

“She won’t be going, unless I go. And quite frankly I don’t want to go on a trip with you morons.”

“She can come if she wants to. You’re not her guard dog. Y/n wants to come, so let her. You don’t own her.” Soonyoung said with that same smirk.

He knew that he was pushing his luck with Minghao, but he wanted to know where Minghao’s and y/n’s relationship stood. And by the looks of it, Seokmin and Seungkwan will be owing him his $100.

Minghao scoffed. “She’s mine. She’s my person and she knows me the best. And I know her the best. So I know she doesn’t need to spend time with you jerks.”

“Ouch, could’ve been more nicer, hao hao.” Soonyoung mocked.

Minghao stared daggers at him and walked away by grabbing y/n’s hand.

“Let me know by Friday y/nnie!!” Soonyoung yelled out as they walked out of sight.

. . .

Okay, maybe he liked her more than a friend.

He liked how their hands would accidentally brush against each other when they sat next to each other. Or how she would cook for him when he was too tried from work. Being with her felt a little too domestic and he was getting too used to her. He wants to be showered by her sweet affection.

She remembered that he really like tea and bought him a tea set with new tea cups. So naturally, he bought her a designer bag since he saw her eyeing it on her phone. Or one time she remembered that he didn’t like iced water with his food, so he took her to China to try all sorts of food with him. He remembers that she was very flustered and try to talk him out of going but he secretly took her there. Some (his members) would say that he kidnapped her there, but he didn’t see it that way.

He was enamored by her and wanted to be by her, protect her, love her. Her sweet laughs that would linger in his head and how he would be stuck in a day dream while on missions. When Seungcheol heard that he was almost a second late in killing targets, he was not too pleased. And so he said those forbidden words.

“You need to leave her.”

“I’m not going to.”

“She’s becoming a distraction to you. You’re named one of the best assassins for a reason.”

“The day you leave your wife, is the day I’ll leave my beloved y/n. ”

There was silence in the conference room. The other members shocked into silence. Minghao and Seungcheol were similar in a sense that they were too stubborn. Though Minghao was more quiet about his stubbornness, he was a lot bolder when it came to his decision.

“You can’t ask me to leave y/n, when you yourself are married. She means the world to me like how your wife means the world to you.”

“Very well then. You make a good point, but it doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re distracted. You’ll need to fix that, other wise there will be severe consequences.”

. . .

Y/n was pacing around her living room. It’s been two days since she’s heard from Minghao. She was getting worried by the second and wanted to make sure he was fine. There was an increase of violence since two of the biggest mafia families were at war currently. Police advised people to make sure that they locked their doors and no one should leave their house after 10:00 pm. she sighed and was deciding if she should go to his apartment. It was almost 10:30 and she knows she shouldn’t be out but she was worried for him. She looked at her door.

Ah, whatever. She’ll be quick.

She quickly entered his apartment. Luckily there was no activities outside so she was able to make it to his home. However, he was not home. When she rung his bell, he didn’t answer, so she let herself in. She looked around and found him no where in sight. She sat down on his couch and called him again. He of course didn’t answer. To calm her nerves a bit, she decided to watch some tv.

She began to flip through some of his channels. Some channels would be interesting for 5 minutes before she moved on. She landed on the news channel. Just as she was about to skip to the next channel, something peaked her interest.

“There’s been a three way accident on the high way tonight.” The reporter said.

“The accident was so severe, that three lives were taken. The others were severely injured and were taken to the hospital. One of the cars was a black Bentley with the number 8 engraved on to the tire rims.”

She froze.

Minghao has a black Bentley. And his favorite number was 8. Heck, even his friends called him “The8. ”

Y/n was hysterical. She was crying hysterically. No wonder he wasn’t picking up his phone. He was gone and she didn’t even tell him how she felt about him. That made her cry more. He cared for her and all she wanted to do was to return his love the same way. She doesn’t know how long she was cry for before she heard:

“Baobei, why are you crying?”

Great. Now she was imaging his voice. She can’t believe she was already loosing her mind. So, it made her cry even more.

“Baobao, look at me.” Suddenly his fingers pulled her chin up and she met his eyes.

Minghao . . ? Was here? In the flesh..?

She leaped into his arms and nuzzled her face into his neck. Her crying got worse.

“Why are you crying? Hm? Can you tell me who made you cry?” He said as he caressed her head.

“You!”

He was confused. “How so, beibei?”

She couldn’t make a coherent sentence and babbling on. Minghao rubbed his hand on her back.

“I thought you died!” She finally said.

He remained silent. “You didn’t answer my calls for two day, so I came over and didn’t find you here either. So I wanted to watch some tv to relax and I see that there’s been an accident with a black Bentley with 8 engraved on it. . And you have a Bentley and I know your favorite number is 8. It made too much sense. It was awful, hao.” She cried out.

He consoled her more before moving her to his bedroom and sat her down next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and said “I’m sorry for making you worry. There was some issues with the financial department at the office. I couldn’t back to you, I’m so sorry bao.”

“I’m glad you’re okay.” She said as the cry was slowly settling down. “I would’ve had so many regrets if you did leave.”

“Why’s that?”

“I. . I really like you hao. You make me feel so special and so protected. I want to be with you always. I wanted to tell you that even though I know you don’t really like me back. I still appreciate your kind actions.”

He was shocked. The beautiful girl he’s been crushing on, likes him back?

He chuckled softly before pulling her chin up again. “Who said that I don’t like you either. I don’t just let anyone put pink eyeshadow on me with glittery rhinestones.” She smiled softly at his words.

“I let you do anything to me because I love to being your presence. I like that satisfied smile you get when have your way with me. Y/n, you make me want to be a better man.” He wiped away the remaining tears and said “I really like you too. And I’ll never leave you.”

With that, he placed a warm kiss on her lips.

. . .

There were multiple cars chasing him.

“Hyung, they’re gaining on me.”

Seungcheol was huffed before he said, “drive further down, Mingyu and DK are already waiting for you.

As he was going a 115 mph on the high way, a cat suddenly appeared. He may kill people for a living, but cats, were the only exception. He braked a little too hard, cause the cars behind to crash into him. Luckily, his driver door wasn’t hit so he quickly got out as the smoke bled into the air. Made his way towards the rugged road and walked into the forest. With some miracle, he was able to make it to Mingyu and dk.

“Hao, your arm!” Seokmin yelled out. His arm was slightly bruised and was bleeding a lot.

“Just go! They’ll try to find me.”

He went to Joshua, who patched him up, and got prescribed medicine from him. The underground hideout was quite chaotic as they were trying to delete him walking out the vehicle and trying to track who was following Minghao. “I gotta go.” Minghao said as he carefully stood up. “I’m going to head out and shower.”

Seungcheol nodded as helped his brother walk to the door. “Be safe.”

. . .

Y/n was laying her head on Minghao shoulder. Their hands were intertwined and Minghao brought them up to his lips to give her hand a kiss.

“Ha! I told you so!” Soonyoung said excitedly.

Seokmin and Seungkwan grumbled in disappointed.

“I really that it was a joke between them.” Seungkwan whined out.

“I shouldn’t have listen to you.” Seokmin pouted out. “I was right the first time and I was influenced by you.” He whined again.

“Me?! You just like following everything I say! That’s your own fault, not mine” Seungkwan said offendedly.

“I’m not a follower!”

“Yes you are!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yuh huh!”

“Nuh uh!”

“Yuh huh!”

“Seungkwan, I’m going to take you through hell. Take it back.”

“Never.”

Minghao snickered at them. He looked down at y/n where she also met his eyes. They both smiled and he pulled her in closer.

He kissed the side of her head and said “I won’t ever leave you, bao.”

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yonkimint · 1 year

Photo

Without You [Yoongi x Reader, Hobi x Reader]

19. Reunion ✎

Six members of BTS gather in the dance studio and try to pretend that this is just another day of practice before they head out on another world tour. They scatter about the room to stretch and warm up for the sets they’ll run through but none of them can focus on dance moves or lyrics.

J-Hope is coming any minute now, the first time all seven members have been in the same room in four years, and nerves are stretched thin.

“Has he texted yet, Chim?” Namjoon asks, unable to play it cool any longer.

Jimin looks up from his spot on the floor, his knees piled one on top of the other in a simple stretch, and reaches for his phone. There’s no message from Jay but there is one from y/n which reads, Downstairs. Sent two minutes ago.

“They’re on their way up,” he says.

“They?” Tae repeats, his interest piqued, “He’s bringing the baby?”

Jimin shrugs, “You said you wanted to meet him!”

Jungkook and Jin shoot him a look. They both know this is not the reason that Seojun is coming along, that the baby is only coming because y/n has refused to let him out of her sight in the last three weeks since his cute little face was posted all over the internet.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you!” Jin announces, a little too forcefully. All the members' eyes turn to him, “Irene is coming with y/n too!”

Yoongi blinks, “y/n is in town too?”

“Yep!” Jin answers, too cheerful, too innocent. This is not a coincidence, of course, but he’s hoping he can pass it off like it is, “They wanted to be here for the reunion with Jay.”

“I wouldn’t call it a reunion,” Yoongi mumbles but it’s clear in the lift of his shoulders that his former anxieties about this meeting have been replaced with excitement. He hasn’t been able to see y/n in the two years since she left him and he’s never missed anyone as much as he has missed her.

The door to the studio opens as if on cue and Irene shuffles in first, talking excitedly to the people behind her and not paying attention to the occupants of the room. Jay steps into the studio next, glancing around first at the larger studio and then at each of his former group members.

They offer nervous smiles, unsure of how to greet him after all this time, and he waves, summoning his bubbly persona as he takes another step forward. He goes to Namjoon first and pulls him into a hug.

“Brooooo!” he croons, laughing at Namjoon’s startled grunt. It seems like the tension might lift with this but then Tae gasps and all eyes are back at the doorway where y/n has stepped into the room, a newly famous little boy cradled in her arms, hiding his face shyly in her neck.

Yoongi’s heart plummets into his stomach. y/n is so obviously this little boy’s mother; he can see the similarity now that they are side by side. The math follows quickly after. This child is maybe a year old which means he had to have been conceived as soon as she moved to the States. And with Hobi, of all people?

“How could you?” he blurts out and y/n turns her gaze to him. She is filled with guilt, her cheeks flaming with it, her eyes brimming with tears. So she knew what she was doing? She came here to hurt him.

Yoongi scoops up his water bottle, the only thing he can think to grab, and then sweeps past her out of the room. He glances back only briefly to see that the baby has lifted his head to watch him retreat. For a moment, they hold eye contact and Yoongi is shocked by how beautiful this child is. He is tempted to reach out to stroke his soft little head but then he remembers himself.

Of course, this baby is beautiful, he thinks, with parents like y/n and Hobi, how could he not be?

The boy’s very existence wounds him to the core and he has to get away. As if that will stop the pain spreading through him.

“Yoongi, wait!” a voice calls after him, maybe Irene’s, but he doesn’t stop. He can’t bear to hear them say it out loud. y/n was his. She was supposed to be his but now she has a family with someone else.

With Hobi, his brain shrieks at him.

It’s the worst possible outcome and he wants to curl into a ball and die.

y/n bites her lip, taking a moment to calm her own emotions, and turns to face the rest of BTS. They stare at her dumbfounded, even though the majority of them already knew about her son. No one was expecting Yoongi to flee. No one is sure what to do.

“I thought you might like to meet my son,” y/n says, her voice cracking but loud in the silence of the studio.

Namjoon and Tae glance from y/n to the child in her arms to Hobi and try to put it all together but y/n is shaking her head before they assume anything else. “My son,” she emphasizes again, “Not Jay’s.”

“Not mine,” Jay agrees and actually does a really good job of concealing his wince. Seojun is not his son but it still hurts every time he is reminded of it.

The room is silent again and then, without warning, Tae is across the room in a few strides, tickling the baby’s back in an attempt to get him to look up. Seojun squirms in y/n’s arms, unsure if he wants to laugh or cry at this attention, and looks into his mother’s face for help. She smiles encouragingly and nods.

“This is your Uncle TaeTae, dumpling,” she explains, twisting Seojun around so he can see this stranger, “Tae, this is Seojun, your nephew!”

“You hid a whole fucking baby?” Namjoon cries, rooted to his spot across the room.

Taehyung’s arms are already raised and ready to catch Seojun when y/n jumps in surprise. The little boy cries only for a moment at this change of hands but then the toddler is laughing, instantly in love with Tae just like every baby the man has ever encountered.

“I’m sorry,” y/n whispers, lowering her gaze in shame.

She’s still staring at the ground, tears filling her eyes again, when Namjoon closes the distance between them and scoops her into his arms, “Why did you think you’d have to hide something like this from us in the first place?”

y/n hides her face in Namjoon’s chest and cries, relieved that her secret is finally out and that she is reunited with her family but still so filled with regret for the choices she has made that led to their parting. She hadn’t planned on revealing the other half of her secret but with a hiccup, the whole truth comes spilling from her lips, “Because he’s Yoongi’s. Because you know how that ended.”

“Oh,” Namjoon gasps, and then pulls away from y/n, holding her at arm’s length so he can peer into her tear swollen face. She sniffles and bites her lip, whimpering when Namjoon swipes the pad of his thumb across her lower eyelid to catch her tears and presses his warm palm to her cheek. It takes her a moment to lift her gaze to him but when she does, he nods, “Start from the beginning.”

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theladyofdeath · 8 months

Text

Lady Death's Lover {V}

Lady Death's Lover Masterlist & Summary

19th Century Period AU Nesta x Cassian Secret Affair / Enemies to Lovers / Forbidden Romance Fanfiction / Characters from Sarah J Maas / ACOTAR Based on a prompt sent in by anonymous

A/N: This chapter is slightly NSFW. No one under the age of 18 should be reading this story. Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, likes, and/or reblogs! I'm glad you're enjoying the story and hope you continue to do so! x

TW: marital abuse, sexual content, language, depression, alcohol abuse

This story is for readers 18+. Mature readers only. Content should not be read by anyone under 18.

Dear Emerie,

I hope you’re enjoying your time away. Just know that we miss you here in the city, but I hope your travels are everything you want them to be. I cannot wait for you to return and tell Gwyn and I all about your thrilling endeavors. She is convinced that you have found someone in which your soul cannot live without, but I have assured her that it is nothing more than a foreign fling.

I cannot wait to see who is right!

To answer your very thoughtful questions, I am doing just fine. You know how Tomas is, but he is busy with his business and I find peace in the distance that brings between us. I have found myself wondering one thing — what is it like to attend a ball as an unmarried lady? We used to have little get-togethers in my village, of course, but nothing as grand as the balls in Velaris. I used to love to dance and each time I attend one of these gatherings I cannot help but daydream of dancing once again. Of course, it is not common for a married lady to dance, and Tomas would never. It is a lovely thought though, isn’t it? I know you are content with your life as a spinster (which I admire), but even you love a good turn about the dancefloor.

Perhaps one day I will be privileged enough to just get a tease of what it is like.

Write back soon. Be safe. We miss you!

With Love,

Nesta

I hate luncheons. Especially women-only luncheons. The only perk is that I don’t have to attend them with Tomas, but that is by far the only perk. All of these women think they’re better than me and each other. Every one of them has something shoved so far up their asses that I’m surprised they can still walk.

They’re all talking about their husbands, how amazing they are, how perfect their lives are, but I can’t seem to contribute to the conversation. I may be forced to be here by my husband but I’m not about to praise his name.

As I sip my lemonade, I let my mind drift back to where it’s been, repeatedly, constantly, for the past week. Ever since he left my home, ever since I ran into him outside just after midnight, the image of him has been branded into my mind. It doesn’t matter if I’m awake or asleep, I can see his face, his smile, the intense look in his eyes as he looks at me. I can hear him saying my name, voice low and rough, like no man has ever said it before.

I’ve dreamt of him, fell asleep every night to these fantasies that I can’t control.

They started off seemingly innocent, the two of us dancing, touching tentatively, doing nothing more than following the same steps that everyone knows, getting lost in the music as we stare into one another’s eyes. That innocence didn’t last long; it quickly escalated.

Last night had me writhing in my bed, needing friction, needing release, needing something far greater than what my fingers could offer. I worked myself roughly, imagining my fingers were his, imagining his cock was hard and inside me, pounding into me again and again, recklessly.

I was no virgin when I married Tomas, and although he would claim otherwise, my husband in full denial, that means I know what I like. Laying with Tomas is a chore, one that I have never enjoyed, one that never lasts long or gives me any sort of satisfaction. I know what I like in bed, what I like from a man, and I have no doubt that a man like Lord Cassian can give me just that.

Not that it would ever happen.

Of course. I am a lady, the wife of a renowned lord, and a woman of high society would never act so immorally.

I can dream, though. I can let those unholy thoughts fill my mind, imagine a man like Lord Cassian exploring every inch of my bare body while I fall into a state of utter ecstasy.

“Lady Nesta?”

My eyes snap up and meet the Lady Cresseida’s from across from me. Her smile is sly and I’m tempted to match it with one of my own, but I don’t.

“Are you well? You look a little flush,” she continues, mockingly.

“I am feeling a little under the weather,” I confess. A complete lie, but if they’re asking, I may as well take advantage of it. “Perhaps I’ll take my leave.”

They all nod in farewell, but I know that none of them care. I, however, am overjoyed at the excuse to leave. I make haste, wasting no time as I rise to my feet and stride out of the home in which the luncheon is being held.

The second I’m in my carriage, I call for my driver to take me home.

The long way.

But, it’s always the long way. I stopped asking a long time ago. Now, they just take me home the long way when I’m by myself. They just think I enjoy the scenery, find peace in a ride by myself in the quiet. Or, perhaps they know the truth, that I loathe my husband and hate being in his presence, in his home, our home, and they just keep quiet about it.

I wonder what the help talks about when they’re alone, when they’re in their own quarters, far away from us. I wonder if they truly hate me, if they hate Tomas. I wonder what they think of our marriage, if they know it’s as awful as it truly is.

I’ll never know. I’ll never ask. Either way, I’m grateful that they drive me the long way home.

As soon as the wheels begin wobbling down the cobblestone, I lean back against the bench and close my eyes. The velvet lined seats are soft enough to relax on, and the moment I’m comfortable, I let my mind wander.

Back to him.

His hands.

His cock.

I know I’m pitiful, know that these fantasies mean absolutely nothing and the reality of my life, my marriage, is still in shambles. But they’re a small reprieve, because if I cannot control my reality, at least I can control my thoughts to a certain extent.

Those thoughts drift to Lord Cassian.

We don’t know each other and we surely never will. Perhaps that’s what makes him the perfect candidate for these fantasies, for these wandering thoughts. He’s a stranger, one that I’ve gotten a feel for, certainly, but still a stranger.

I wonder what he looks like nude. I’ve tried to imagine it many times, have pictured what I thought, but I imagine it doesn’t compare to the reality of his body. He’s muscular, of that I have no doubt, and the part that matters most is long, thick, and wielded like a weapon.

I don’t even realize that I’m inching up my skirts until my hand has made its way into my undergarment and the tip of my finger grazes my throbbing clit. I circle it slowly, biting my lip to keep myself silent. I’ve touched myself more in the last week than I have in the last decade but I have no shame.

It’s hard to feel shame when your senses are alive and thriving.

Sex is not bad. It is not a sin to feel desire, although my husband would claim otherwise. In fact, he claims that women should find no pleasure whatsoever when it comes to sex, which seems to be the reason why the focus is never on me when he visits my room. No, he does what he likes until he gets off, having no idea how to truly please a woman.

Lord Cassian — the man I have made up in my mind this last week?

He knows how to please a woman.

He knows how to leave her gasping, screaming, how to make the eyes roll back in her head. He knows how to make her back arch, how to make her toes curl, how to make her cry out for the gods, the Mother, the Cauldron. He knows how to make that little feeling, wild and unruly, go mad in the pit of a woman’s stomach until she can no longer contain herself, until her heart is bursting out of her chest and she’s seeing stars.

He knows how to make a woman find release and he doesn’t stop until she’s found it.

I grip the plush velvet seat cushion as I squeeze my legs together, trapping my hand within. We hit a bump in the road and I jolt, but it only adds to the madness that I’m currently drowning myself in.

My other hand joins my first and I pump two fingers deep inside of me, working in tandem with the one still making joyous circles over that sensitive bundle of nerves. A long string of words falls from my mouth in a devout whisper, words that would bring shame to my husband and his name, words that no lady should voice but I cannot help it.

His face is in my mind, his smile unfurling behind my closed lids. His body is bare and his hands are roaming my body, every stripped inch of me. I call out his name and he urges me on, thriving on my indecent vocalization.

Within the confines of my coach, I throw a hand over my mouth to muffle what I cannot control while I find my release with those loyal, fervent fingers of mine. I keep moving until my body grows limp, that intensity that makes me feel alive fading into nothingness yet again. I smooth out my skirts and lean back against the bench, fighting to catch my breath.

I wonder if my driver suspects anything but find that I don’t care. No one would ever dare tell Tomas, would not dare anger the Lord Mandray.

No one would be that idiotic. It would be a death sentence, the messenger every bit at fault as I.

I can’t help myself. I laugh.

I break into such a fit of laughter that I fear I’m going insane, but oh, it feels so good to laugh!

I laugh until tears are rolling down my cheeks and my sides begin to hurt, and it’s only when I collect myself that I realize it was the first time I had laughed in a long, long while. It feels good to laugh, as mad as I may seem. There is something utterly triumphant about feeling pure, demented joy.

Staring out the window, I watch Velaris pass by as we make our way back to House Mandray. By the time we arrive, all of my wonderful, demented joy has faded.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Cassian

“What do you mean you’re not going?”

We’re sitting around Azriel’s dining room table, feasting on roasted chicken, when my brothers decide to insert themselves into my personal business, yet again.

“I’ve been to two balls this season.” I sigh, stabbing a carrot. “I don’t need to attend another.”

Azriel and Rhys look at one another, concern written plainly on their faces, but I pretend I don’t see it.

“Besides,” I continue, “none of the ladies have caught my eye this season. It is a waste of time.”

“But you love to dance,” Azriel says, the same time Rhys says, “but you love to drink.”

It’s true. I adore both of those things, but I know where the next ball is being held, and even I am not courageous enough to step foot into the Mandray’s house again.

Nothing untoward happened with Nesta and I in the garden, but it was inappropriate, nonetheless. I was a little tipsy after my closed door meeting with Tomas, but I still had my wits about me. I know that I should not have been alone with Nesta, but I couldn’t stop myself.

From the moment I saw her under the starlight, I was gone.

“I thought your meeting with Tomas went well,” Rhys pushes, buttering his roll. The same roll that he’d already been buttering for over a minute.

“It did,” I say, and leave it at that.

They, however, will not leave it at that.

“Then this has to do with the wife,” Azriel says, mouth full of potatoes.

It’s only the three of us.

Manners be damned.

Across from him, Rhys’ eyes light up and swivel back in my direction. “Ah, the wife. Lady Mandray. Did you come on to her again?”

I drop my knife and fork with a clatter and rub my temples. “No, I did not flirt with Nesta.”

“Nesta?” They both repeat in unison, and I instantly realize my mistake.

“Lady Mandray,” I correct myself using her formal title, “and I simply do not see what she has to do with my absence.”

“You have always been a terrible liar,” Rhys quips, clearing his plate. “But, if you wish to live in a state of deception, so be it.”

“I’m not—” I take a deep breath before I can let my frustration take control. I’ve always been prone to anger, as much as I loathe the fact. “I’m not lying. I simply do not wish to attend a party when I can be home, working.”

Drinking in solitude is more like it, but that’s beside the point.

“Work is all well and good but you must allow yourself to have fun every now and again,” Azriel says, his tone as skeptical as Rhysand’s. “Besides, haven’t we established that it’s about time you marry?”

“If it’s time I marry, it’s time we all marry,” I grumble.

Azriel suddenly looks horrified while Rhys chokes on his wine. I know that neither of them are ready to be a husband, although we are all quickly approaching our third decade of life. Rhys sometimes pretends that he is, but when it comes down to it, I cannot even imagine him with any of the women of the ton.

No young lady could handle Rhysand.

Azriel is different. I cannot tell if he’ll ever marry. It’s not that he has never been in a relationship or that he is incapable of love. He loves stronger than perhaps anyone I have ever known. I’ve always felt that is the very reason why he keeps himself so guarded. The only people he’s ever truly let get to know him are me, Rhys, Mor, and Amren. There was a time when he pined after Mor, but that was so long ago.

“I am perfectly content as I am,” I go on, trying to convince them or myself I am not certain. I pick up my silverware yet again and make another attempt at finishing my supper. My carrots have gone cold. I hate cold carrots.

“Back to the ball,” Rhys says, sitting back in his chair and stretching out his legs. “You’re going.”

“I am not going.”

“If you’re not going, then we do not go. If we do not go, we will be sad.”

“Your sadness is none of my concern.”

“Now you’re just being mean.” Rhys pours himself another glass of wine while Azriel’s eyes swivel between us. “If this is about Lady—”

“Lady Mandray is none of my concern.” Perhaps I should have waited for his sentence to end before mine began, but I have never been good at holding my tongue.

“If she is none of your concern, then you will join us,” he says, smoothly, and he knows he’s already won before I even begin to resign. “We will drink their champagne and dance across their perfectly polished floors until sunrise while we are still young enough to do so.”

Azriel finally finishes his third plate of food and sits back with a groan as I sigh. “You’re intolerable.”

“He takes that as a compliment, you know,” Azriel murmurs, and I’m afraid he’s correct. There’s always been a darkness to Rhysand. Not an evilness, never evil, but a certain…edge. A certain slyness, a manipulation of sorts. In another life, I’m convinced he ruled his own kingdom.

Kingdoms.

“I will join you,” I say, at last, and Rhys grins as he dwells in his victory.

I, however, feel nothing but unease. The thought of seeing Lady Nesta again so soon both excites and revolts me. I haven’t been able to get her face out of my mind, haven’t been able to shake that feeling that I had when I spoke to her.

Even though I was lost and she surely thinks me a fool.

No matter. She can think me a fool as long as she’s thinking of me.

The Mother knows I’ve been thinking about her.

#nessian #period au #regency au #19th century au #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #acofas #fanfic #fanfiction #au #sjm

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shattereddarknessau · 2 months

Text

…. *the mysterious skeleton turns to face you*

So… it’s you huh….? I suppose you’re here to listen to this unfortunate backstory? Perhaps here to grant me your pity?

Now……I suppose I could tell you what happened. Not that I highly doubt you’ll be interested……hm? What’s that? …..You are?

…..*sighs* Fine. If you insist. I shall tell you the story of how Rubytale ceased to be. *the mysterious skeleton reaches for the book, and begins reading the story*

“Once apon a time, two races ruled the land, humans…and monsters. The two races were ruled by two leaders King Topaz, and Queen Aquamarine. One day, The Crystal Ruby of Balance grew out of control, causing the entire AU to vanish of the maps, and...” *he stops reading for a second*

Wait a minute….*the mysterious skeleton turns to the pages, to find false information*No….T-This is not right. It’s all wrong. Nothing in this book is right! It doesn’t talk about the REAL story at all. They’re leaving out the tragic events of his childhood. There was no “King Topaz”, damn those delusional authors. Always spreading lies about history.

…. They’re choosing to forget what REALLY happened to my people. *he disintegrates the book of lies*

I think it’s about time you learn the real story of Rubytale, the true tale.

On day, a selfish soul decided to steal the crystal to absorb its magic for their own greedy desires, oblivious to the horrible fate they have brought upon innocent people.

The crystal was the only thing keeping the world together, it was known to guarded for centuries, people praised the crystal, as if it were a might god, however, the guards had grew lazy over time, letting it slip into the wrong hands.

To the sound of footsteps approaching, the selfish soul dropped the 2,000 year old crystal on the ground and ran away in a panic to save their own skin, leaving the AU and the damaged artifact behind. The guards came back to see what the selfish individual had done.

“Oh the horror, The Crystal Ruby of Balance has been damaged, we’re all done for!!” said one of the guards in a state of fear. In a moment of despair and sadness, they dropped to their knees and begged the magic crystal for forgiveness, but it was too late.

A bright glow begin to emerge from the crystal, blinding everyone in the room, it rose to the sky like a big shining star, and began striking everything in its path.

An emergency evaluation was scheduled that morning, screams of terror can be heard all across New Home City, the crystal blocked the light of the sun itself, causing the sky to become too bright for the eyes…

Broken pieces of the crystal had formed into giant meteors that came crashing down on buildings and homes. By the afternoon, the entire city was destroyed, with some civilians injured and others killed.

The last remaining survivors ran and ran as fast as they could, yet they were no much for the rubies destructive power. No one was spared, and they were wiped out without a trace.

……

….My apologies, I shall keep reading for you.

The queen simply watched, frozen in horror of watching the entire earths population in the AU parish so easily. She knew there was not enough time left, so she grabbed her ten year old son and used her last remaining bit of magic to send him to a safe place somewhere in the multi-verse.

She had a granted him a staff as well known as ‘The summoner’ which will allow him to summon any Sans at his disposal to help him in time of need as well as travel to other worlds.

However, the child couldn’t get it to work, no matter how hard he tried. He was sent to void between the fabric of time known as the “Timespace”, it was like an empty canvas, nothing to see yet.

With his world gone forever and everyone he cared about, he cried for hours and hours, he screamed for help, he sat for hours hoping someone would COME TO HIS AID AND TELL HIM THAT EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OKAY….that he was safe now….that someone now cares for him…

..And yet….NOBODY CAME… “Where is my savior?” he said…

“Where was my happy ending damn it?! I don’t deserve to suffer like this!” The child shouted in a fit of rage.

“The story is incomplete there has to be more to it than this… this can’t be my fate. It just can’t be, someone has to come for me, they just gotta!”

The child repeatedly said to himself every day, hoping to keep his sanity alive, as the the days became weeks, and the weeks became months, and months became years.

The years of isolation and loneliness took every last bit of a motion that poor child had left in his heart, he grew emotionless, dull, unable to smile again. He swore to kill the bastard responsible, and when he did, he would bathe in their blood.

And would you like to know who the child was?

That child….was ME….

The End of Dark’s Backstory.

(P.S The art was drawn by his younger self to explain his POV of the story and how it affected him badly)

Original Rubytale by (rubytale-chapter2)

#dark’s backstory #backstory #dark au #rtsdau #rtshattereddarkness #undertale au #undertale multiverse #darksdau #dark!ruby #bad ending #sans au #utmv #my au #rubytale

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alovesreading · 1 year

Text

Constant Repeat | Part 6

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 28.5k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: The last one ended in quite an intriguing note, didn't it? Hope this one answers some questions but I can't promise there's not gonna be more to rise by the end of it lol. Very much excited to see how you lot react to this one, I absolutely adore reading you reactions every time! It's a little roller coaster from now on I'd say... Enjoy!

Masterlist

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(27/07/2012 16:10) Holy shit Alex! The Olympics opening ceremony?! Congratulations!! You and the guys did amazing!!!

Alex was on a high, his hands had been shaking ever since they had been told they were due on stage at the Olympic Stadium in fifteen minutes, his heartbeat thud in his ears even after having come back to the box they had been assigned to watch the rest of the ceremony; so when his phone buzzed and he saw Ella's name on his screen, he thought it was all a figment of his imagination.

But ten minutes later, when he ended the call with Andy Nicholson who had called to congratulate them, Alex had seen her name still swimming between the mass of messages he had gotten. He paused for a few seconds, his finger hovering over her name while he asked himself if he was actually seeing correctly.

When he went on her chat, he was met with the multiple texts he had sent back in February and she ignored, a bitterness came up his throat as it was still lingering even after it being months since it had happened, but just below those forgotten texts was the one she had sent him over twenty minutes before.

It was the first text he'd gotten from her after a little more than five months of no contact, no calls, no texts, no 'just watched this movie and you are gonna love it!', no 'the guitars in this song are something out of this world', not even a text when the 'R U Mine?' music video had come out just a week after she had run off set.

He missed her and he had thought of texting her every day for the first month but he was a coward and had no idea what would've been the best way to approach her since he really had no proper clue of what had happened and, if he was being honest, the blatant avoidance from her part had hurt his ego and a part of him was waiting to see if she'd be the one to reach out.

So, as his attention was taken over by Arielle, he let the days go by and waited for a chance in which they could talk again and maybe take the opportunity to clear the air. But one month turned into two and there was no effort from her side.

Arielle was a constant in his life by then, but the presence of the girl hadn't completely diminished the thought of Ella, not when he still wanted answers because the lack of clarity behind her complete switch of behavior was eating him up inside.

He had given Matt's comments that night a thought but in his mind it really didn't make sense, because to him it all had been just innocent banter with Arielle and, having experienced Ella's honesty the more they opened up to each other during that week-long tour, he knew Ella would've told him if it was that which had upset her.

Yet Ella hadn't and that led Alex to come to the conclusion that it must've just been too much for her. He had been too eager when showing his interest in her and, whilst she had been accepting of it at first, it must've built up until she just couldn't take it and reciprocate it.

There also was how she had dialed down her behavior towards him when his coworkers were there and, in a desperate attempt to think of answers on his own, Alex thought that maybe someone had commented something that just completely threw her off and made her cut it all off suddenly.

And as the weeks passed, and he gave his hypothesis a thought, he also reckoned it must've been something to save herself any heartache. Because, after all, they both knew Alex was going to leave and maybe cutting him off completely and ignoring whatever it was she felt towards him would be the best option in order to not get hurt by time and distance. Not everyone could take it and he knew just how cruel that could be.

So he didn't blame her for making that selfish decision, but he couldn't help feeling a bit disheartened about the sudden change of it all with no hint of a heads up, with no explanation at all. And there it went again, the pang in his chest when he thought of just how many things they had spoken about and how it felt so weird that she wouldn't speak to him about it.

In those months of radio silence, Alex had heard about her from the rest of the band, who got texts from her or would call her from time to time but it was not the same. So he wasted no more time, typing a response as fast as his shaky fingers could and ignoring the calls of his girlfriend to get in a picture with the lads.

(27/07/2012 16:22) Ellie! Thank you! xxxx How have you been?

(27/07/2012 16:23) Wonderful, Alex :) Say hi to the guys for me!

(27/07/2012 16:23) Will do xx They're pushing me over to get pictures, talk to you later alright? x

(27/07/2012 16:24) Sure! Talk to you soon.

He pocketed his phone as he walked towards his friends, everyone cheering as he stepped beside Matt.

Flashes had blinded him all night, the combination from the lights and the alcohol had made his head dizzy so as soon as he got home, he showered and fell right asleep. He'd had a busy night, he felt on cloud nine with his best mates and his parents beside him, his girlfriend there as well to witness one of their biggest accomplishments.

He was still elated the morning after, meaning that, after he kissed Arielle goodbye as she went to meet up with some of her friends, he remembered how he had gotten the chance to talk with Ella after so long so he took his free time to ring her up.

Of course, he was so distracted that he forgot it would be much earlier for her than for him. Her phone rang on her night table, waking her up. She only managed to grab it with her left arm, extended as far as she could and when she saw it was five in the morning, she slowly woke up from the fear that something might have happened.

Her eyes hadn't opened to see who it was before she picked up, "Hello?" her voice was groggy from sleep, and she cleared her throat right after the greeting left her lips.

"Bloody hell," Alex cursed quickly, wincing at his mistake. "I forgot it's still very early for you Ellie. Sorry." He whispered like that would help in any way.

Ella chuckled, amused at how mortified he sounded, "S'Alright. How are you? How crazy was yesterday?" A yawn escaped her lips at the end, so suddenly she didn't have time to conceal the sound of it.

A smile broke out on his face, he was eager to tell her all about it and stay on the phone with her for hours on end if she let him but just as he was going to start narrating how the night had gone, a deep groan from the other side of the call made the words get stuck in his throat.

Right after the groan came the shuffling of sheets and a question from someone he didn't know who it was that had him frozen in his place, "Who is it, babe?" Said the man who was with her, the pet name had felt like a slap across the face for Alex.

She had snorted, the way Alex had gotten used to hearing daily months before, and she replied playfully, "Just a friend who forgot about time zones, baby. Go back to sleep." Right after that, there was a faint sigh and a second or two of the sheets ruffling around before she talked back to the singer this time, "Are you still there?"

Alex could only clear his throat as he gathered his thoughts, "Yeah, erm, yes." He pinched himself to snap out of it, and to start his recount of the previous night's events, forcing himself to sound chipper. "It was mental! The stadium was packed and, bloody hell Ella, I swear I had come to terms with it and was not nervous about it when we were rehearsing but you should've seen me fifteen minutes before it was our time to perform, I was fucking shaking."

She cooed, "Oh Alex," She pouted to herself as she scratched her boyfriend's hair, smiling when the man resting on her chest hummed in satisfaction. "But you did amazing, I promise! We were just watching the ceremony, and when you guys were announced I was fully shocked. Bre told me she was in London but she never told me you were performing on the fucking Olympics!" She whisper-shouted the last part, making Alex chuckle.

"Yeah, sorry about that. We sort of couldn't tell anyone we were actually performing, Bre was surprised when Matt told her an hour before we got to the stadium."

She hummed, "Well I can forgive her then. You did The Beatles great justice as well, that cover was amazing and the whole show with the cyclists was just stunning."

"It was," Alex agreed, "Was shitting it because imagine if we butchered a Beatles song in the UK, in front of the Queen and the millions of people watching everywhere."

Ella laughed too loud, making her boyfriend flinch, "Sorry" she whispered to him and then continued, "Well, thankfully that didn't happen. You'd be exiled from your country." She continued giggling softly, "That would be just as bad as actual treason."

They both laughed for a little bit until the giggles died down to sighs. She wouldn't deny that she had missed talking to him, and she didn't like admitting it to herself but she was just very glad his voice wasn't making her feel like at the start of the year. It gave her the hope that maybe this time they could just be friends, now that she had finally let go of whatever she felt for him.

"We're going to LA next month," Alex broke the silence, his voice had a hint of doubt as if he was scared of what she would answer. "We're staying until mid-september 'cause we're gonna record the next album over there."

"Oh really?" Came from her, with just the right amount of excitement, "You're gonna start recording already?"

"We are. I have some stuff written down already and some chord progressions, I wanna see how we can complement it with the lads." He held his breath, not really knowing how it was that she'd continue to react.

Ella cooed and let out a small "Yay!" Even if at first it had been hard hearing their music after everything that had happened back in February, she hadn't been able to avoid it for that long. So she was actually excited to hear whatever they would come up with, knowing how good 'R U Mine?' already was.

"Well, Turner, you're gonna have to let me know when y'all get here so we can all catch up, I know just the place to take y'all." She warned, her voice teasing him as if he'd get in trouble if he didn't let her know like she was asking.

"Fair enough, I will let you know," the singer promised. "I'll let you go back to sleep now, sorry I woke you up so early, Ellie."

She just let out a faint giggle, just a polite one so he wouldn't feel bad about it, "It's all good, Alex, don't you worry."

"I'll talk to you later then, darling." Alex's breath caught in his throat instantly, upon realizing he had just called her by the pet name he hadn't used in so long.

But Ella didn't flinch, it was like it had flown right past her head, "Bye Alex, talk to you later." and with that she ended the call.

Ella blew air out in relief when her insides didn't flip at him calling her darling so, she dropped her phone back on the night table and turned to cuddle closer to her boyfriend, fully at peace knowing the singer's effect on her seemed to be long gone.

Alex, on the other hand, felt something bubbling inside of him because it all kept playing on his mind. He kept hearing the man calling her 'babe' and her calling him 'baby' and just the faint notion of her having a boyfriend made him feel uneasy.

The mystery man got a face when Arielle came back to his flat. Alex had mentioned to her how he had gotten to chat with Ella on the phone, throwing in his new discovery subtly to see if his girlfriend had any information about it.

He was taken aback when Arielle dropped her bag on the settee and turned around with a knowing smile. "Oh yeah, they are so cute! I thought you had her on Instagram?" she had a slight frown while pulling up Ella's page to show Alex.

He shook his head, "No, erm, I only got it a few months ago remember? You helped me open it."

She let out an elongated "Ohhhh," as she clicked on Ella's page, "Well you should've asked me for her page silly, I thought you already had her there since she's your and the guys' friend."

He pulled out his phone and handed it to her, Arielle gave him her phone so he could see Ella and her boyfriend together. But his eyes were met with a very different Ella, one he almost didn't recognize, and he felt goosebumps break on his skin at the same time his body lit up on fire.

On the bottom of her page he could see her typical analog shots, of bits and pieces of cities and artsy photoshoots with models taken by her, but as he slowly scrolled up her page there were tons of picture of her in motorcycles, wearing leather and, in a particular one, not much more than a bikini and her cowboy boots.

That picture was the first one that caught his eye but he wasn't going to start ogling Ella's Instagram and get all flustered about it in front of his girlfriend so he scrolled further up until he stumbled upon a picture of her and her boyfriend.

He knew what he felt was jealousy because how could he not? When she stood there with her back to the camera but her face turned to the side, and the man's hand was in the back pocket of her jeans as he kissed her cheek, which had ended with her scrunching up her nose in response. He missed that face much more than he'd ever let on.

Alex could feel Arielle's eyes on him so he forced himself to smile fondly, "Yeah, they're cute."

Arielle grabbed her phone back from him as she slid his phone towards him, "I know right? Have you told Ella we're coming next month?"

He nodded, locking his phone right after hitting 'follow' and then he walked towards the balcony that was in his room—he needed a cigarette. "I did," he nodded as he grabbed his Marlboro reds from the coffee table in his living room, "She said to let her know when we're there, she wants to take us to this cool pub she found."

A bright grin appeared on Arielle's face, "Oh I'm so excited to see her again, she's so lovely isn't she? You know she got me that big Coke campaign? The one that got me invited to that event that got me an agent?"

He paused in the middle of the hallway, "Oh really? Well, that's very nice of her."

"I have to buy her a few drinks as a thank you for it." Arielle finished while she turned on the TV, Alex took it as a sign to leave her to it.

Once he got to his room and out to the balcony, he wasted no time to unlock his phone and scroll through Ella's pictures.

Her hair was darker now, she'd dyed it fully black and she looked amazing with it. Her ears looked like they were now adorned with multiple piercings but it wasn't just her ears that had jewelry, she had a septum piercing now. The thin gold piece of jewelry subtly poking from the bottom of her nose. She looked so different but still as stunning as ever.

In about five minutes of scrolling he had also found out that she'd gotten a bike, and both she and her boyfriend seemed to drive around California in their free time. There were pictures of her driving in the back of her boyfriend's bike surrounded by a large group of bikers and she'd captioned it 'nothing better than driving down the coast with your biker friends and the sunset in the background.'

There were pictures of her and her boyfriend in Tennessee, one in particular that made him take the longest drag out of his cigarette. Her boyfriend was sitting on the grass by a wooden fence, his legs spread as she sat in between them. Her brown cowboy boots on and a little white dress, her boyfriend had a cowboy hat that was hiding them kissing in the picture. The caption read, 'he's a cowboy like me.'

Another picture that made his blood boil was one that had captured her ass being groped by one of her boyfriend's hands. She was wearing some really small high waisted shorts that hugged her bottom perfectly and he wanted nothing more than to be in the place of that man. He let out a long sigh when he read 'he says i'm a handful'.

But then he scrolled further up and he lost his breath again at the picture of her in a bikini he hadn't really gotten to properly see before. She was wearing a silver bikini and her black cowboy boots as she sat on her bike, one of her legs was up as she rested her heel on the seat. She had her hands set a little behind her ass so she was leaning backwards with her head slightly thrown back, her face was half covered by a cowboy hat but it couldn't fully hide her closed eyes and her open mouth. It looked like she was moaning and Alex was losing it.

Fuck.

He went to the bathroom then, his pants too tight after he'd seen the picture and he didn't know what to do. It was either a cold shower or a guilty wank.

He was quick to jump in the shower, the water cold as it hit his chest and his face, but as he closed his eyes he found the picture engraved in his mind, meaning he wasn't finding a solution in the cold shower.

He came rather fast, a few minutes it took him as he imagined the noises she would make. Replaying her voice saying 'baby' and imagining how she'd sound moaning that in his ear. But afterwards, as his consciousness came back to him, he started to feel bad. His girlfriend was right outside, while he fucked his fist to the thought of someone else.

This is the first and last time, he promised himself.

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Ella had gotten a call from Matt's phone about a week before the band was due back in California, they had started it by yelling out her name and she'd chuckled at their volume. The lads had told her that they were landing in Los Angeles on Saturday the 18th, meaning she had to wait a week to see them all again.

She had missed them quite a lot so it hadn't been a hardship to know she had little time to prepare herself for their arrival. She was mostly excited, getting to see them all again, as well as Breana who she hadn't seen in a month—and she was missing her best friend a lot—, and to see Arielle again too.

As soon as they had landed, Bre had given her a call and they had settled on meeting at the pub Ella had been talking about at around seven in the evening.

So there she was, shoving her boyfriend's bike keys in her purse before locking her fingers with his and walking through the establishment's doors. She was surprised to see them there already, as she was only five minutes late to their agreed time, but the excitement multiplied then.

It was a fairly loud place, but the ambience was spectacular. They always played the best music and the walls were filled with band posters, tour memorabilia and little trinkets that were framed on the walls to commemorate different big artists in history. She loved coming to the place, especially on karaoke nights, which unfortunately wasn't happening that day.

"Well, well, well, fancy seeing y'all here." Ella greeted as she approached the large booth and they all jumped to their feet, her name being cheered by them all.

The difference from her right then to the start of the year struck Alex harder in person. The gold on her ears and poking out the bottom of her nose contrasted beautifully against her tan skin, and her leather jacket was a fine new addition to her look. He was glad to see she was wearing a pair of cowboy boots, one he hadn't seen before but it made him smile seeing she hadn't left that behind.

She let go of her boyfriend's hand to go hug everyone. She went from Nick to Jamie, Alex, Arielle, Matt and finished with Breana who she clutched a tad tighter as she claimed, "I missed you so much!"

Breana replied, "Missed you more," before she went to Ella's boyfriend and gave him a friendly hug, "How have you been, Jules?" the nickname for him falling easily from her lips as she'd met him a handful of times before.

The man had smiled, hugging her back, "Amazing, Bre. How was your trip?"

"It was fucking lovely, you two have to come with me next." the model winked at Ella, making her roll her eyes as she blushed.

She hummed, "Maybe... We'll see." and before she could sit down beside Breana, she introduced her boyfriend to everyone. "Guys, this is Julian, my boyfriend. Julian, this is Nick, Jamie, Alex, Arielle, and Matt."

Of course his name is Julian, Alex though. Not being able to shit on his name because he shared it with one of his favorite musicians.

Julian had gone to shake everyone's hands as Ella sat down beside her best friend. Her cheeks hurt already at everyone being so nice to her boyfriend. Alex took a good look at him when he shook his hand: he was tall—about six feet he could say—, his shoulders were broad, and even if he didn't look extremely bulky, he seemed like he made it a habit to work out, his skin was tan and it complimented his wavy dirty blonde hair but it was Julian's green eyes, though, what made him want to roll his eyes. The man was good looking, and it made Alex want to punch him even more.

"Saw you guys playing at the Olympics opening ceremony, that's massive! Congratulations." He smiled at the musicians as he took a seat beside Ella, his arm snaking around her waist and she scooted the tiniest bit closer to him with a loopy smile on her face.

And he's nice too? Fucks sake. "Thanks man," said Alex with a tight lip smile, tilting his half empty glass towards him before gulping it down.

Matt wasted no time before he started teasing Ella, "So Ellie, been pretty busy then?"

She rolled her eyes playfully, "I actually have been. Focus Creeps have been doing lots of productions for artists and bands since your videos were posted and now we have another PA. I'm kind of mentoring her, which is still surreal to me that I am but yes."

Matt pouted in fake pity then, "Poor girl, she must be tired of you."

Ella scoffed and everyone laughed, including Julian. She turned to pinch her boyfriend's waist, "Why are you laughing?!" She scolded him and then turned back to call out the menace Matt was, "You are a bully, Helders." She shook her head with a frown on her face, which dissipated when Julian left a kiss on her cheek. Her face melted into one of pure bliss with a big tight lip smile.

Alex wanted to gag.

"You love me Ellie." The drummer stated with a shrug.

Ella ignored him and turned to Breana, "I really wonder how you can stand him."

"You and every one of us, Ellie." added Nick with a snort, making everyone laugh.

Ella asked them all what drinks they wanted, seeing as most of their glasses were almost empty on the table, the ice watering down whatever alcohol they were drinking. Julian and Breana had gone with her to get everyone's drinks and when they came back, it wasn't long before they fell back into conversation.

They had been including Julian, which made Ella very happy, and an hour later they had found out lots about him. He was Californian born and raised, a photographer that worked for a well acclaimed magazine, sometimes writing pieces for them as well. He also worked as a freelance photographer and videographer, he had been hired for a bunch of different jobs: from weddings that had made him travel to many places, to filming documentaries on crab fishing in Alaska.

Everyone was so entranced by that last story, that it made Ella all hot and bothered. Every time he would tell it, she always grew hypnotized by him and the way he would explain it all, especially by the way he would use his hands. So when he was done and the conversation had moved onto another topic, she leaned into his ear to have him subtly follow her to the bathroom.

Julian smirked, knowing exactly what she meant and what she wanted to happen. The girl stood up, excusing herself and made her way to the bathroom, and Julian stood up a few minutes after her.

They had been rather quickly, or at least that's what she thought as she walked back to the table with Julian following a few steps behind her. She had gone ahead and sat back on the booth whilst her boyfriend had gone to get her another drink, and that's when she was met with the fact that they hadn't been subtle at all.

The first and most obvious clue was that her red lipstick was gone and her lips were puffy. Matt had elbowed Breana softly, pointing his chin towards Ella and smirked.

"Had fun Ella?" Matt asked vaguely with a very suggestive tone.

She frowned and felt her cheeks heating up but tried to play dumb as she downed whatever was left of the vodka and sprite she'd left on the table. "Huh?"

Jamie had caught up exactly onto what Matt was saying so wanting her to just fully admit it, he pushed, "Oh c'mon Ella, your lipstick is gone."

She knew her cheeks were pink but she couldn't care that she'd been caught so she shrugged it off, "The heart wants what it wants."

"And it wanted to give a blowjob?" inquired Arielle this time with a knowing smirk on her face.

Ella nodded at her with a smug expression, "It did." She admitted, no longer giving a shit.

They all hollered and that made Ella laugh. Julian came back to the table right then, a smirk on his face as he sat down and put her drink in front of her. He didn't know what the ruckus was about but he didn't really care when he was on cloud nine and very satisfied in every meaning of the word.

"Thanks babe." Ella said to him and took a sip of her beverage, thankful that she had asked for a double vodka and sprite this time. "Oh they know, by the way." She let him know with a sheepish smile.

Julian laughed then, throwing his arm around her shoulder, "Told you to put your lipstick back on, didn't I honey?" They all laughed as Ella shook her head but found comfort in her boyfriend's hold and her drink.

Breana couldn't help but ask, "So did he return the favor?"

She took another sip of her drink, basking in the coolness of the liquid running down her throat. "We'll resume things when we get home." She winked at Breana who responded with a shriek and Julian squeezed her thigh under the table.

What the fuck? Who is this and where is Ella? Alex kept thinking. She didn't seem like her usual self, it was all so out of character that he wondered what had happened for her to be so blunt and open like this.

Jamie interrupted Alex's thoughts when he said, "Right let's change topics then, before they start shagging on top of the table."

They erupted in laughter, Alex faking it to not be obvious about his distaste on what was unfolding before him. And then a song came on that actually worked perfectly to change the subject. "Oh I love this place, their music is always on point." Julian commented.

'New York City Cops' by The Strokes was coming through the speakers, Julian Casablancas' voice mixing with the chatter around the place and the clinking of glasses.

Jamie smiled then, glad to see they were finding more things in common with the lad, "You like The Strokes?"

He nodded, "No band like The Strokes... no offense guys."

He has a good taste in music too? Alex had to try his hardest not to roll his eyes.

"None taken. There truly isn't any like them." Nick waved him off.

Ella tapped the table frantically with the pads of her fingers when she remembered something they had told her. "Oh my god! Tell him how you met them!"

"Wait, you have met them?!" Julian inquired with his eyes wide open.

Alex nodded, "Yeah man, they're amazing. We met them after the NME awards in 2006, they took pictures with us after we won Best British Band and Best New Band. I still can't believe we've met them, they were the reason we started this band—or well, the reason I wanted to start a band."

"That's fucking amazing! I'm jealous now, damn." He added with a chuckle, making everyone smile back at him.

Yeah well, not as jealous as I'm of you and whatever happened in the bathroom with your girlfriend, mate.

About thirty more minutes went by before Julian turned to whisper something in Ella's ear. She smiled fondly, gave him a kiss and whispered something back to him before giving him his keys. He stood up, saying he sadly had to go but he'd had the best time meeting them all, and telling Ella to phone him when she wanted him to pick her up right before he left the table.

Ella was all heart eyes as her eyes followed his steps towards the entrance, and when Julian turned back around to blow her a kiss and wave her goodbye, she mirrored his actions.

Breana cooed at them, "Aren't you two cute?'' She hugged Ella to her side and squished her cheeks with her free hand.

"Stop it." The PA whined with her eyes almost closed, her words barely audible as her cheeks were still being pressed by Bre's hand.

Nick settled his drink down before starting a conversation up, "Now that he's gone we can properly gossip."

That made Ella chuckle, "What do you want to know?" She rubbed her face as she was now free from her best friend's hold but still felt her fingers on her skin.

Arielle was quick to ask the first and most important question, "First of all, how did you two meet?" which everyone was really dying to ask.

Ella sighed, "Well that's half cute, half embarrassing." She finished her drink before narrating. "So it happened at this country pub I had driven past one day, I decided to just go alone one night to check it out. I was drinking some whiskey the bartender had told me was really good and wasting my time watching some college football they had on, when he sat down beside me and started talking to me. He's lucky he's cute or else I would've told him to fuck off because I just wanted to be alone." She chuckled as she reminisced.

"I was sad that day, I don't remember why though." She was lying, she remembered exactly why, as it had only been a week after whatever happened with Alex. "We must've been talking for about half an hour when they put on some music and people started swing dancing. He stood up and grabbed my hand saying we should dance too. I told him I had no idea how to and he said to just follow his lead."

She shook her head and her smile got brighter as she continued, "Fast forward five minutes later he had me in his arms, and told me to kick one of my legs up. Of course I did it wrong but he was so cute correcting me. Next thing I know he had thrown me up slightly and somehow my leg was around his neck and that's how he got me to completely turn to the other side, still in his arms."

Ella tilted her head for a second to point at Breana as she said, "The next half of the story involves her, and I'm still mortified about it."

Breana snorted at the memory, and the PA kept going, "So later that night, I was texting him and Bre at the same time. I had just gotten around telling Bre the bit with the leg when I accidentally sent him what I was going to send her..." Ella blushed hard and she paused, too embarrassed at the memory to even say it out loud.

At the cliffhanger, Jamie pushed her to continue, "Go on then, what did you say?"

"I don't even wanna say it out loud." Ella hid behind her hands, but Breana was quick to respond for her.

"She said 'One of my legs has been on his shoulders already, wouldn't mind having both legs up on them.' You're welcome Ella, now continue."

Ella gasped, letting her hands fall from her face, "I actually hate you."

Arielle had her hand covering her mouth, every single one of the lads were shocked as well. Matt was the first one to talk though, "Bloody hell, Ella! What did he say?!"

Her cheeks were red as she looked up to everyone, "He just said 'Well I wouldn't mind that either' and the rest is history. We went on a lot of dates, called each other every day if we were not hanging out together until one day we decided we already were acting like a couple so we might as well make it official."

Nick was the next one to go, "How long have you been together then?"

"It's been a little over four months." She replied quickly, knowing exactly the day off the top of her head.

Alex let his thoughts leave him before he could process them, "Not long after we left then?"

Ella avoided his gaze, playing with the straw in her empty glass, "Nope, not long after."

Alex nodded, taking the information in. It all seemed so unlike her, especially after what she'd told him about her relationships; she wasn't one for starting something with someone she'd just met and that's exactly what she was doing here.

Everyone at the table had felt the air shift around them at that last question and answer, but thankfully for everyone, Alex's girlfriend was none the wiser to the whole situation and she was a romantic so she felt like she had to know something else, "Have you said the L word yet?"

That loopy smile was brought back to Ella's face at the question, "Yes," she said shyly.

Breana gasped then and hit her arm, "What the fuck?! You haven't told me this!"

Ella turned to her, grabbing her best friend's hands, "I know, I know. It only happened a week ago so I was waiting for you to come back to tell you."

"Do tell then." Breana insisted, not really having the patience to wait until they left and she could call her so that Ella could finally tell her in private.

"Fucks sake." She cursed under her breath, seeing all eyes on her. "We were at his parents house and I had just met his sister, who has the cutest little baby. They had gone to buy dessert and left me and Julian with the baby. I was holding her and she kept blabbering on and on, and I kept acting as if I was talking with her when he just leaned into me and kissed my cheek and told me 'I love you so much'."

Breana shrieked, "Oh my god!!! Are you joking?!"

"I'm not," Ella's cheeks hurt from how big her smile was and Arielle was cooing at the story too, "I thank everything out there that we were sitting or else I swear I would've dropped the baby out of shock."

"Did you say it back?" asked Alex, sipping on his whiskey.

And curiosity killed the cat.

Ella nodded enthusiastically, "'Course I did, I adore that man." It was so easy for her to admit, and she would scream it out loud as many times as she could if she had the opportunity to.

Alex nodded in response, he was having an internal debate: he was happy that she was happy but he didn't like that it was someone else that got to be like that with her. And for that he felt so selfish.

Breana and Arielle let out long 'awh's in unison, Nick scrunching his nose at Ella before saying, "Look at you in love, it's disgusting." a fake tone of endearment on his voice.

"Right?" added Jamie in the same tone.

"You are about to get married," she pointed at the bassist first and then to the guitarist, "And you just got engaged, so don't talk shit when you're the same."

"Well I didn't just suck my boyfriend off in the bathroom, so I can definitely talk shit." Jamie was quick to reply back, making her roll her eyes.

"Can't you just let a girl have some fun? Jeez." She exclaimed before she got back up, "Anyone want a refill?" They took a fair few seconds to reply to her, she was much more straight forward now and it was leaving them stunned.

She went off with Breana again, this time Matt following right behind. But right when they got to the bar and she was waiting for the bartender to finish serving the three ladies beside her, Matt told her some news that almost made her heart stop.

"Have Ben and Aaron told you we're having you record a little documentary for us?"

She turned to the drummer faster than she realized she could, "What?" Her frown was deep, her eyes searching his to find any clue that he was just joking.

But Matt wasn't joking, "Yeah, you're gonna be at the studio with us for a few weeks during this month we're staying. I think we're coming back after the holidays to continue recording so you're joining us then as well." He explained the best he could with the little confirmed information he had.

Her mouth opened to talk but the words got stuck in her throat, "I–, erm. They hadn't told me anything, but um, yeah I'm gonna ask them on Monday."

"Brilliant!" The drummer replied before letting the bartender know what drinks they wanted.

Once they got back to the table and they had given everyone their respective drinks, their conversations resumed. They had pinballed from the Olympics to Nick's upcoming wedding planned for exactly a year from then, to some celebrity gossip they had heard around at the Olympics to the pictures taken that day and that's how Ella had ended up saying:

"You two are actually adorable," her gaze stuck on Alex and Arielle, the couple just smiled at her. "I've seen so many pictures of you everywhere, I'm so happy for you guys."

Arielle brought her hand to her chest and cooed, "Awh thank you, Ella."

Ella took a sip of her drink, really needing the liquid courage to ask her first question, "How long have you been together then?" Her tone made it seem lighthearted and like she was just making small talk but this was it for her, the last thing she wanted to know before fully putting the matter to rest.

Arielle turned to Alex, looking directly into his eyes for a few seconds like the answer was right there and then turned back to Ella, "So it started that night when we filmed 'R U Mine?' remember?" She asked Ella, and the PA could only fake a tender knowing smile as if that night hadn't been awful for her for that same thing.

"He left right after, but I was going to the UK with a friend a couple of weeks later so we met up over there and," She blushed slightly and grabbed the singer's hand on top of the table, rested her head on his shoulder and shrugged, "It all just happened, I suppose. So it's been about three months hasn't it?"

He hummed, squeezing her hand. "I reckon three, yes."

"Awh, adorable." Ella replied with a sweet smile, she felt relieved by the sense of closure. Yes it did sting a bit how fast he had changed her, not even 48 hours after they had gone on a date back then and how he had decided to make the girl he'd switched her for his girlfriend; but the hurt lasted for a few seconds, she felt free then. The whole situation had somehow brought her Julian, and she was very much grateful for that.

"You didn't tell me how that talent recruitment event went, Arielle. Was it good?"

Arielle gasped then, "Ellie, you're a godsend for that! After the Coke campaign I got the invitation for it and I'm signed now!"

Ella clapped her hands, "That's fucking amazing! Congratulations!"

And that's how they spent the next three hours, talking about everything that they'd missed in the past months they hadn't seen each other. Until Julian had called Ella to check up on her and tell her he was already done at his parents' house, and he could come by picking her up in the next twenty minutes.

She accepted her boyfriend's proposal, it was nearing midnight and she was spent. She promised to see them all soon again when she got a text from Julian saying he was outside, grabbing her purse from beside her and pocketing her phone before hugging everyone goodbye.

From the table they had the perfect view of the street, meaning they got to see how Ella basically threw herself onto Julian's arms, him catching her and clutching her tight as they swayed for a few seconds. He pulled back to shower her face in kisses, and ended it all with a chaste kiss on her lips. When Ella pulled back she grabbed the helmet from his hand and put it on to leave on his bike.

"Ugh, I love them." Bre was the first one to talk, making everyone nod in agreement as they watched them drive away.

"They're like one of those hot biker couples you see in movies." Arielle added and Breana hummed.

Nick nodded, "They are."

Alex rolled his eyes automatically because they actually were, and he hated it. But then his girlfriend's voice brought him back to where they were and after that, all he could recall was drinking the night away.

What he hadn't seen was that Bre caught his annoyed face and that only made the model want to fight the singer in the very spot. She was aware of what had happened, after she had managed to scoop it out of Ella many weeks after that eventful week in February, and she couldn't blame her for keeping her distance from the man. He had been an absolute asshole, so for him to be acting all bratty over Ella being happy and in love with someone else, like he didn't have his very own girlfriend sitting beside him, had Breana fuming.

The audacity this dickhead has, she thought.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It had been true, what Matt said. Ben told her she'd be spending the following fortnight at the studio recording the band like she'd done twice before. Only this time, she'd have to permanently try to get footage of their time in the studio—whether it was them fucking about or actually making music.

She'd let out a big sigh when Ben left her sitting at her desk, emails to respond looking at her face as she made peace with what was coming. It's just gonna be like hanging out with them and having fun, she told herself to ease her nerves. There was something about being alone with them again—with Alex—that was making her feel uneasy, slightly scared of how awkward it may be or how uncomfortable it could feel.

Just breathe.

That's what she told herself as her boots scrunched on the dirt, her steps firmly taking her up to the front door and she knocked. A lovely man with a long gray beard, called David, let her in, showing her the way and she thanked him with a smile.

She was rather surprised by the look of it all, the studio seemed so laid back and much like a little southern cabin in the middle of the desert. It was a stark contrast to the studios she had visited before but the place being so casual made her feel more comfortable.

In her left hand, she was carrying a cup holder in which she had five cups of coffee. She was hoping the gesture would serve as a good sign that all was good by her and she planned to keep it that way. She would try her hardest not to make it awkward.

She took a deep breath before she opened the door and was greeted by the band and their confused expressions which only lasted a few seconds. When they realized it was Ella they erupted in cheer as if they hadn't seen her just last week.

She giggled, "Good morning guys, you're very energetic today." She let her bag drop from her shoulder onto a settee that was set next to the door. "Maybe I shouldn't have brought you coffee."

Nick sighed and went over to hug her, "No, you're actually a lifesaver. Planning a wedding through the phone is a nightmare."

Ella cooed but a chuckle cut it short, "Awh Nick," and after they hugged, she lifted the cup holder to read which one was Nick's. "Here you go." She handed the bassist his coffee and then turned to the rest of the band.

"I got them as I remembered you liked them. Hope your orders haven't changed much since February."

Maybe mentioning February hadn't been the best idea because the room fell silent for a few seconds, but they had felt like an eternity.

Fuck.

Thankfully, Matt decided to be the menace he always was and made the tension lift up from her shoulders by chatting back, "Not the best PA, are you?"

She rolled her eyes, "I haven't been here for five minutes yet and I already wanna strangle you."

He winced, "Sorry Ellie, not really into getting choked myself but nice try."

Her sigh was loud and it made them laugh. She just decided to hand Jamie and Alex their coffees, to which they thanked her for, before grabbing hers and taking a gulp of her now warm beverage.

"Well," she started, setting her cup down on a coffee table in the middle of the room, "Get on with what you were doing, act like I'm not here."

Matt was quick to tease her, "Brilliant, just what I wanted to do."

She scoffed, not impressed by his antics. She was regretting asking superior powers for a brother when she was a kid because Matt was definitely like an older brother to her now and he was more annoying than she'd expected one to actually be.

"I will actually fight you Matthew, so shut up."

Matt cackled, "Would love to see you try." And before she could bite back, he started playing a beat on the drums that drowned everyone else's voice.

She kept to doing her own thing, turning the camera on and recording them. It was interesting seeing it unfold before her eyes. The way Matt kept coming up with different drum patterns to which Nick jumped in with his bass.

There was a moment in which Nick came up with the start of quite a catchy bass line and Jamie was quick to tell him to keep going whilst he grabbed a guitar to add to it. Soon enough it felt like the instruments were playing with the other as if chasing each other's chords and melting into one lovely melody that had them all nodding like that was it.

Matt started forming a beat around them and Alex stood up to grab his guitar and tried with different chord combinations to jump into it. Alex kept writing down the bass tabs and the guitar chords they were using in a journal he had, which seemed to have songs he'd written as well because he was quick to flip through the pages and sing a few lines to see how they would fit in the song.

Ella could see him scribbling around the pages as he kept singing whatever came to mind and building up the song.

When the zeros line up on the 24-hour clock

When you know who's calling even though the number is blocked

When you walked around your house wearing my sky blue Lacoste

And your knee socks

They stopped for a few minutes, Alex still sitting in his chair bopping his head to what they had just created, still playing in his head. She kept the camera on him and his concentrated face, the way he would quickly write around the pages on his journal had her intrigued.

This was a moment that she knew she'd feel glad she caught on tape in a few years, just because she had a feeling that whatever they were starting in the studio was going to be bigger than they'd ever anticipate.

The band had grown somewhat infatuated by the origins of the song, stuck on different ways they could take the main melody. They had settled already that it sounded like a perfect chorus so they'd build the song around that.

When James Ford got to the studio, it was like he had stepped into a vortex since he got sucked into the process so quickly that he had barely been able to properly say hello to Ella.

After an hour and a half of non-stop brainstorming that Ella had been hearing as background noise while she read through some emails and scheduled calls with clients, they decided to take a break. Everyone left, or that's what she thought as she typed away, until she was startled by a sneeze.

"Jesus, fuck!" She lowered her macbook screen, her eyes wide from the scare. "Oh– Bless you, Alex."

He smiled at her, a shy one that seemed a little tense. "Thanks Ella."

Alex watched her as she nodded with a shy smile on her face as well, lifting her screen back up to continue working. He wasn't doing much more than sorting through his journal and making mental notes of which of the songs he'd written he wanted to try and bring alive in this record, but he was distracted now.

He was very aware of her presence and she was too. She could feel his gaze burning on her but she was too nervous to even look up, she knew she didn't know what to say or how to act so she'd rather avoid it.

But the tension grew thicker and he hated it, the only solution he could find for it was to try to make small talk.

"So... How was your week, Ellie?" The singer asked slowly, as if treading an unknown path.

Her fingers froze hovering over the keyboard, "It was good, erm, a little busy but good."

He felt the way she was starting quiet and close away and maybe staying quiet would've been better but the words just came out of his mouth to try and make the old days come back, when they could talk about everything and anything for hours.

"Bre told us she was doing a shoot with you on Wednesday, hope that went well."

She gave him a genuine smile then, because the shoot had actually been lovely and it had gone better than she had planned it. "It was perfect, the sun worked amazingly with us. I have to get them printed soon though, so I can send the scans to Bre and she can add them to her portfolio."

"Was it on film?" Alex asked before he could process, he just wanted to keep the conversation flowing but what a stupid question that was because he knew she only ever shot on film.

She let out a giggle to hide her disbelief. Had he really forgotten she only shot on film? "Yes, I only shoot on film, remember?" It came out sassy and she hadn't meant it but she couldn't take it back now.

He laughed nervously, "Yeah, I know. Sorry, very stupid question."

Ella only smiled reassuringly, "It's okay."

The beats of silence were almost as loud as their heartbeats. Alex felt his pumping heart sounding in his ears and Ella did too, both hoping the other couldn't hear it too.

He started fiddling with his pen, "Was it themed?"

She shook her head, "Not really, we just played with how well the sun was positioned and did some shadow photography."

Alex hummed, not really knowing what to say next. Ella bit her lip, seeing through the corner of her eye how he looked to be fighting within himself. She felt bad for not trying to make things better.

"Has the past week been too hectic?" Her question sounded shy, both of them were acting so sheepish and whereas Ella's behavior had always been that way, it was weird seeing Alex anything other than confident.

He hesitated before responding, "Not really? I mean we had to go 'round quite a lot but it's the typical occurrence when we come to the States. The second week and on is much easier."

"Well, thankfully that's over and done with. I suppose you're relieved to be in the studio, finally." She decided to just close her laptop and give him her full attention.

Her actions made him breathe in relief as it felt like she wasn't trying to hide behind the screen anymore.

"Yes, to be fair. Feel like it's been too long since we've made something new, properly. When we recorded 'R U Mine?' it went by so quickly 'cause it took us so little to get it done—so, erm, yes. We were itching to be back recording."

She smiled sweetly at him then, "You guys look very in your element here, I was keeping it cool for the sake of the process but I was blown away by how easily you just– well, the way you can just do all that."

Alex laughed softly. She's so cute, was all he thought and it only made his smile grow. "Thanks Ellie, it's a thing that just happens because of how long we've been making music together. We bounce off each other now."

She had run out of things to say, her eyes focused on him but her brain struggling to find anything else to talk about.

Why is this so hard now? She hated it.

Luckily, she was saved by the bell—or rather by the rest of the band and James coming back from the kitchen, their loud chatter filling the hallways as they walked back to the room.

"Ellie, you have to see what I've found in the other room by the keyboards." Matt pointed at her and she was slightly afraid. One was never safe when it came to his spontaneous ideas.

She stared at him unsure of what to do, "Erm..."

The drummer started making his way back out of the room, waving at her to join him. "C'mon! Bring the camera." He added from the hallway.

She had to quickly grab the camcorder, her steps fast to catch up with him. The screen flashed a red 'rec' on the corner right as she walked through the threshold of a room she was seeing for the first time.

He walked in first and then stopped in the corner where most of the keyboards met and pointed towards what he'd found.

She deflated as she saw a little vintage coin machine that read 'Check your sex appeal'. On the bottom it instructed one to put one's finger on the sensor, deposit a quarter and then they'd give the score. With an eye roll she turned to Matt, "I thought you were gonna show me a spider or something." She had seen multiple lying around the place, unbothered.

"If it was a spider, I would've caught it and thrown it over your head." Matt replied with a cynical smile on his face.

Ella scoffed, "Sometimes I think you hate me."

He chuckled, opening his arms and approaching the girl to hug her. "You know I love you, Ellie."

"Yeah, sure, sure." He was holding her tight on purpose, to bother her some more. He really was like her older brother. The camera shook in her hands as she struggled in his hold.

He let go of her with a kiss on the cheek, "Have you got 25 cents?" He asked, seeing that it was needed to make the machine work.

"Yeah, in my purse." The drummer didn't even waste a second before he quickly went back to the main room to retrieve it. He was back in about ten seconds and she fished for her wallet when he opened her purse for her. "Does it even work?" she asked, seeing as the machine looked old—the red light on the 'sensor' was very dim, it was hard to read the 00 on the corner.

He shrugged, holding up a quarter in his fingers. "Let's try."

"Yeah, we need everyone to be here though. This cannot go without witnesses." She was recording it all but she wanted everyone to be there just so they could all have a laugh.

"Oh yes, go ahead. I want everyone to see how you lose."

"We shall see about that Matthew." She walked back to where the rest of the group was and called them over.

When Matt saw everyone enter the room behind Ella, he smirked. "Yous ready?"

They all nodded, Jamie rolled his eyes at his friend's excitement over such a dumb thing but he wasn't expecting any less from the idiot that Matt Helders was.

For some reason, he paused before slotting the coin in. "No, actually..." he offered the coin to Ella, "Ellie please do us the honor."

The PA sighed, wanting to do anything but go first in the stupid thing but she wanted to get it over with sooner rather than later. She grabbed the quarter from him and he took the camera from her, making sure to catch what she was going to do.

She pressed her pointer finger on the supposed sensor, and slid the coin in. "If this thing doesn't work, I'm gonna laugh in your face, Helders."

It took a few seconds for the red light to glow, the drummer smirking at Ella as if to rub it in her face that it actually worked. Everyone was watching them amused, the bickering was quite entertaining to them all and they were happy to be around Ella again.

Another few seconds passed before the machine beeped, startling the girl. "Jesus!" She dropped her hand and when she saw the 62, she shrugged not even caring to see what that meant on the list below the sensor.

Matt cackled, getting another quarter from her wallet and giving her the camera back to walk up to the machine as well. "Okay Ellie, are you ready to lose?"

"Get on with it Matt." She made sure to capture him perfectly even though she wasn't sure they'd use that footage on the documentary.

Repeating the process, Matt waited for the beep to reveal his score and when he got 134, he cheered. His arms up in the air like he had just won the championship to something.

He walked over to Ella teasing her about her brutal loss when Jamie wandered over to the coin machine and burst out laughing.

Everyone turned as the guitarist laughed and Nick went over curious to see what was so funny. When he read the list below the sensor, he joined Jamie in laughter.

"Helders, mate, I'm not sure you won at all there." Nick managed between chuckles.

Ella quickly walked over to read the list, making sure the camera caught it too and she cackled. "134 you got, didn't you? Mr. Total couch potato."

That only made Nick laugh harder, Alex and James started chuckling at Matt's face. The drummer walked over to see the list and he scoffed. "What the fuck? That score system doesn't make fucking sense."

Total couch potato - over 130

Semi sexy couch potato - 115-129

Sexy couch potato - 100-114

Sexy but firm up your good body - 85-99

Great body and sexy - 70-84

Super body and sexy - 60-69

Fantastic body and sexy - below 60

"I got 62 by the way. Just in case you forgot." Ella made sure to rub it in and Helders waved his hand dismissing her.

He shook his head in disbelief, and went over to her wallet to get another quarter. "We're doing this again."

"But–" She went to argue but was cut by Matt grabbing her right hand and pressing her pointer finger on the sensor and dropping the coin in. "For fucks sake, Matt." She cursed, moving the camera to face Matt's annoyed facial expression and when the machine beeped, showing her a glorious 60, she burst out laughing.

"Now's my turn." He pressed his finger on the sensor and inserted the coin.

Everyone quieted down as they waited for the beep and when it rang in their ears, showing a 129, Jamie read "A slight glow up, semi sexy couch potato." making everyone erupt in laughter again.

"Okay, whatever." Matt said loudly and defeated in between everyone else's noise, "It's broken, obviously."

Ella sighed, after her fit of laughter, focusing the camera back on the drummer. "Told you Bre was doing charity work with you." Nick snorted at that, nodding his head just to add to the fire.

Matt gasped, throwing his hand over his heart, faking being wounded by her very words. "Bitch." He said as if he had just been betrayed.

She chuckled as he left the room, still shaking his head, "Oh I'm so glad I caught all that on camera."

Nick threw his arm over her shoulders and kissed her temple, "You are brilliant, Ellie."

She smiled so bright, her eyes closed, and leaned her head on the bassist's shoulder in contentment.

When she opened her eyes, she was instantly met by Alex grinning at her and she smiled back at him.

The two weeks she'd have to stay there would be long but she hoped they'd get easier. She could only hope for that.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

All of her hopes had drowned a week later. She thought she had made progress in that first week since when she left that Sunday, it felt like the tension was wearing thin. They could now joke around like everyone else and it wasn't met with brief silences that felt like cuts to their throats.

That was until the Monday of the second week arrived, and she was dropped off at the studio by Julian. As they got closer to the place, she was praying that whoever was standing outside wasn't Alex but the universe loved laughing at her face so Alex was exactly who was outside, smoking calmly with his eyes firmly on Ella.

She sighed under her helmet before she took it off and got off the bike. She gave Alex a tight lip smile, "Good morning, Alex." She could feel the awkwardness rising once again.

"Good morning, Ellie." He replied, grateful for how the cigarette was helping him relax even in the slightest.

Julian took his helmet off then, shaking his head to fix his hair, with a bright smile. "Hey Alex, good morning."

Alex lifted his hand up to greet him, "Morning, man."

Ella sighed and turned to her boyfriend, fixing his hair before she said bye. "You'll pick me up later yeah?" Her hand was cupping his jaw and Alex hated seeing the look of adoration in her eyes.

"'Course." Julian said with a smile, his right hand coming up to grab Ella's hand that was on his face and kissed the palm of it. "Love you, have fun okay?"

Ella smiled even harder and nodded as she leaned down to peck his lips. "Love you, see you later."

Ella turned to start walking towards the studio when she heard Julian calling out to Alex, "Turner! Take care of my girl, yeah?" His question was up in the air as he put his helmet back on.

She blushed as she turned back around to laugh at her boyfriend. Alex let out the smoke from his lungs and nodded, "Always."

Ella felt like someone had gut punched her then, Why does this have to happen to me?

Julian nodded and revved the engine, blowing Ella a kiss before driving away—leaving a cloud of dust in his wake.

They both watched as the bike got smaller in the horizon and once it disappeared from their sight, she cleared her throat. "You going in yet?"

He nodded, "I'm almost done." taking one last drag of his cigarette before tossing it to the ground.

As they walked up to the place, he couldn't hold his tongue back, "So is he gonna drop you off everyday now?"

There was a subtle tone in his voice that didn't settle well with her, "Just today." She answered quickly with a forced smile on her face, letting her feet take her faster up the steps and towards the door. She didn't wanna overthink about the way he'd ask but it was already planning to play on loop in her mind.

Maybe she was making it worse in her mind but the awkwardness was palpable at the moment, and she just couldn't brush it off and ignore it.

When she opened the door everyone was there at the kitchen by the entrance making breakfast, when they saw her they greeted her sweetly. She was so grateful for them all being there already, just so she didn't have to spend time alone with Alex after that.

Surprisingly though, after they had all had breakfast together, the day rolled off smoothly and she'd only interacted directly with Alex a handful of times. The band had gone fully back into finishing a song they'd named 'You're So Dark' and slowly rolled into the making of another one that they hadn't titled yet but the chorus kept on with the phrase 'i want it all' so she'd refer to it as such.

She ignored the way Alex sang the words 'space age country girl, stone cold miracle' and the not-so-subtle looks he took at her every time it rolled off his tongue.

By three in the afternoon, she'd excused herself to take a skype call with Ben, Aaron and a new client. She'd gone to the room furthest away from them and even though she knew the walls could keep her voice from getting to them and ruining any recording, she'd still tried to be as quiet as she could.

That's why she was surprised to see everyone gone when she left the call. She wandered around the place, really taking time to admire every corner of the one-of-a-kind recording studio. She could see Queens of the Stone Age memorabilia, a portrait of PJ Harvey smoking a cigarette perched on one of the sofas in the studio hanging on the wall.

The array of different kinds and brands of guitars drew her in like a magnet. She had no idea how to play one but they all looked stunning and she wished at that moment she knew how to play at least one simple song.

"I never asked you if you knew how to play." The sudden appearance of Alex's voice scared her. She jumped in her place, turning slowly with a hand over her heart.

"Alex, for fucks sake." She cursed through her teeth.

He smiled softly, "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

She sighed, "Where is everyone? I thought you'd all left."

He shrugged, "They said something about getting food. Left before I could put down the guitar."

"Oh that was probably Matt's idea." Leaving Alex behind had to be his brilliant idea, she rolled her eyes at how he'd completely missed how that would turn out for her.

Alex nodded, "Most likely, yeah."

They stood there quietly—Alex resting against the door frame, Ella's fingers dancing over the guitars' necks.

"Did they leave long ago?" She crossed her fingers mentally, hoping they'd be back soon.

He only shook his head and with that she deflated, "They left about fifteen minutes ago."

Ella let out a humorless chuckle, "Great."

It looked like he was trying not to open his mouth, and she almost just told him to spill it all but she truly didn't want it to happen. Whatever would come out of his mouth would only make the situation ten times worse and she was still feeling unsettled by the question he'd made before coming into the studio in the morning.

She decided to sit in one of the chairs, slumping forward as she cradled her head in her hands. A headache already bubbling in the back of her skull, she rubbed her temples with her fingers. In the background she heard as Alex took a seat on the big settee by the door, one that faced her directly.

Alex cracked his knuckles and cleared his throat, he was getting the courage to ask everything he wanted to know. "So how has it been then?" His question was so vague she hummed in confusion—she had been with them for a week straight, what could he mean by that?

And then he shuffled in his seat and tried again, "With him, I mean. How's everything been with, erm, Julian?" He said his name with a struggle, like it hurt his throat to let it out.

"Very good, thanks. We're doing great." She fake coughed, straightening in her seat uncomfortably.

Alex nodded his head continuously, "He seems like a good guy... Interesting lad."

"He is. Wonderful, very interesting too, yeah." Her smile was so forced and it pained him to see.

"He really likes traveling doesn't he?" At that point he didn't even know what he was doing, he was just talking out of his ass.

"Oh yes, a lot. He has the best stories from traveling around for work."

He hummed, "Do you ever travel together?"

Ella chewed on her bottom lip before answering. "Sometimes. We tend to stay in California for work but there's times we travel together whenever I have to go somewhere with Focus Creeps and he's free or we're both able to go on a little weekend holiday."

"Really? Where have you been?" Curiosity killed the cat, he reminded himself. He was very aware of that but his mouth was going faster than his brain.

"We went to Mexico for our first month. We've been to Alaska and New York, but most of the time we take trips around the west coast." She recounted her drives with Julian to the different states along the coast they called home. "He's actually gone to Tennessee with me quite a few times." She added quickly.

"Oh yeah, I sa—. I, erm, suppose that was nice." His tongue tangled when he realized he was about to expose himself, but she hummed.

She knew he had seen, his secret instagram account handle was very not subtle and she'd gotten surprised when he followed her right after that call about the Olympics. "It was. Lovely to see him in my hometown and with my family, really. He fits right in."

He hated how she said that, like it was something that was written in stone. "Right, yes."

She didn't know why, but her brain just wanted her to scream a little detail that knew would ruin things even more. It was probably the thought of it hurting him, the way it had all hurt her back at the start of the year and she felt weirdly in need of some revenge. "We actually go to Belmont Park quite often."

A surprised "Oh." escaped his lips. That fact stung him like alcohol on a fresh cut wound, and that's when Alex noticed the situation hadn't hurt him as much before as it had in that very moment. The fact that she went to a place that so vividly was him and her with someone else felt like the biggest type of betrayal.

"Do you?" The question sat bitterly on his tongue.

It had been a mistake even mentioning it. A double edged knife as it all came like an avalanche over her. "Yeah, it's a lovely place during summertime." It reminded her why she never did revenge, it would always hurt her right back like she was doomed with automatic karma.

He sighed, sorting through his memories. "I remember that place quite fondly."

Ella panicked then, the need to remind him where he stood was strong inside her just to keep him from saying anything stupid that might make her spiral. "How's Arielle?" She spat the question like the words were burning her tongue.

He froze in his place for a second, his brain stopping the reel of Ella and his time in the coastal amusement park to replace it for the American model who was his girlfriend. "She's alright." He shrugged, not really caring to think much for detail. "Busy with casting calls and modeling gigs, but good."

She hated how the first thing her brain did was compare herself to Arielle, making her chuckle dryly. "Good thing she's a model right? Can travel around the world with you." She wanted to slap herself then for exposing her very biggest insecurity when it had come to her and Alex back then.

But Alex was too distracted by the new batch of questions flooding his mind to even notice what she'd just said. "I guess, yes."

"Of course it is, you're always in the presence of your muse." She was trying her hardest to push him to plainly tell her how much he adored Arielle just so she'd kill the shadow of hurt creeping back onto her but he didn't.

His gaze stayed fixated on her for a long few seconds, her breath caught in her throat seeing him zoned out with his eyes firmly on her. Ella cleared her throat and that's when he came back to reality. "Sure, my muse, yes. Lucky to have her always by my side." His reply was so meek it made her want to scream at him.

What do you want from me? She wanted to ask, over and over, until he gave her a fully honest answer.

"I'm just curious..." He started again, after half a minute of silence with eyes fixed on the floor. "Isn't it weird?"

Again he went with the vague inquiries, she frowned looking at him. "What?"

Alex looked up, feeling her burning gaze on him. "I dunno, just how fast you started it all with Julian." His words were weak, almost like he knew it was a mistake to have even said that out loud.

She was ready to start getting defensive but she'd give him another opportunity to explain himself before she could explode if it was needed. "What do you mean?"

He sighed, trying to word his thoughts in the best way possible, "Well, you know, I remember you telling me about how falling for someone you'd just met wasn't your thing."

"I said and did lots of things then, didn't I?" Her words came out heated, Ella was growing tired and she kept wondering what the hell was he trying to get from her.

"Do you regret them?" He was quick to ask, like that sentence had been a direct attack towards him. The question was looking for a deeper answer.

"Maybe." She tried to sound determined but it came out more like a question. She truly didn't regret anything that had happened or that she'd said because it all ended in the growth of herself as a person but, fuck, she just wanted him to hurt so he could drop the subject and whatever he was trying to achieve.

He only hummed in acknowledgment, making her feel like she had to further prove herself.

"He changed everything I had ever thought in a matter of weeks, I just know I love him and he loves me so that's more than enough for me. Time doesn't mean much to me anymore."

"Right." Alex nodded, his gaze staying on her for just a fleeting moment before it dropped down to the floor.

Ella continued then, finding more things she wanted to say, "No matter how long you've known people for, they always turn out to be someone you don't expect so I wasn't gonna lose an amazing person because of my fear of getting hurt." She was trying to find his eyes, just so he knew she meant every word that left her lips but he wasn't brave enough to make eye contact as she said all that. He felt like he was getting poked in his chest with a sharp and pointy knife. "I mean, you said it, didn't you?"

That's what got him to look up instantly, "What?" the singer asked, confused.

Alex's voice as they walked around Las Vegas came back to her very clearly, like the moment was happening at that very second: 'That's true, but don't close yourself off to the chances. Someday you'll meet that one person who'll change your mind about that and they will sweep you off your feet. Often heartbreak is necessary along the way, it shows you what's the right way you deserve to be loved.'

"That someday I'd meet a person who'd change my mind about all that time bullshit I used to swear by, and how they'd sweep me off my feet. That's exactly what he did." Ella recited his words back to him.

And the very moment came back to him like an ice cold water bucket being poured over his head. His words had come back to bite him on the ass. "I guess I did." His voice sounded defeated. "Yeah, erm, that's good. Good." Alex had no idea what he had tried to achieve with all that but, fucking hell, he felt like he had ruined everything.

They stayed quiet for what felt like a century but it had only been a minute. Their breathing sounded too loud and the beating of their heavy hearts was very present in their ears.

When her phone rang, she couldn't help but sigh in relief but her shoulders slumped when the name 'Jules <3' shone bright on her screen.

"Guess we summoned him." The PA joked, trying to lighten up the mood but he gave her the most humorless laugh that made her internally cringe. What the fuck am I supposed to do now? She asked herself, as if the whole situation had been her fault and not Alex's.

She stood up and pointed at the door to tell him she'd pick up and talk by the kitchen, he nodded dully and watched her go in the reflection of the window. He had fucked it all up and he knew it.

He could hear her in the distance and he hated the isolated zone the studio was in because the lack of city bustle meant he could hear everything she said.

"Hi babe!" Her greeting was chipper, she sounded relieved. "Not yet, the guys have gone out to get some lunch and then I guess they'll stay a few more hours until they're done." She paused for a few seconds but he couldn't make out whatever her boyfriend was saying on the other side of the line. "Yeah, they're great. You'd love to see them recording, it truly is magical." Alex smiled, as he could hear the sincerity in her voice.

"Oh?" Ella sounded surprised and he wondered what Julian could've told her. "Jules, are you fucking kidding?" She sounded breathless and elated. "No baby, not nice to hear when we're more than an hour away." Alex hated hearing her calling someone else that pet name. "Well I cannot wait to be home then." There was a small pause before she let out a sweet little giggle that melted Alex's insides. "What did I do to deserve you huh?" Alex rolled his eyes thinking about how Julian didn't deserve her but he couldn't say much, because he didn't deserve Ella either.

"Something new to try?" Her voice had turned suggestive then, and he hated that his brain started going through the endless possibilities of what that could mean. "Fuck, Julian." That had come out like a choked up whimper and Alex had had to shut his eyes close hard to focus on his thoughts not going there but then she said, "Yes, you fucking tease." almost out of breath and just that made the singer's thoughts start going in a forbidden direction. "Well if you had a car maybe we could move it forward but unfortunately you don't, so..." That made him freeze though, as he instantly imagined them two together in the back of a car and it was a visual he absolutely loathed.

"I fucking love you, you know that?" Her words were determined and they hit him like a truck. "Okay babe, cannot fucking wait to be home already." Another giggle that made Alex want to die echoed through the place and just as he was about to start plugging his ears to not listen anymore, she ended the call with a "See you soon then, love you."

He had to hurriedly grab his journal, scribbling around a new page when he heard her steps coming back in his direction.

When Ella entered the room again, she gave him a side smile. She went straight to her purse and grabbed her lighter and cigarettes, "I'm gonna go for a smoke, be right back."

"Alright." Alex nodded as he kept his eyes frozen on the white page that was slowly filling up with words that seemed to be just flooding out of him. The sound of her boots mixing with the ticking of the grandfather clock in the hallway replaying in his mind as the ink ruined the paper.

I wanna grab both your shoulders and shake

Snap out of it

Under a spell you're hypnotized

Darling, how could you be so blind?

If that watch don't continue to swing

Or the fat lady fancies having a sing

I'll be here, waiting ever so patiently for you to

Snap out of it

I've heard that you fell in love

Or near enough

It sounds like settling down or giving up

But it don't sound much like you

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

After that extremely awkward Monday, when she'd felt Alex's gaze burning on her back as she left the place in the back of Julian's bike, the week had gone by extremely slowly. She loved the band but she felt like she was suffocating under the heavy tension between her and Alex.

So when it reached Friday, the last day that she'd be recording them for the rest of the year, she felt like she could breathe more easily.

Matt had been an absolute nightmare though, ringing her at six in the morning so that she could be at the studio by half past seven.

"Matt, I will castrate you when I see you later," was the first thing she said when she picked up.

The man on the other line snorted, "Oh I'm so afraid." The heavy sarcasm in his voice only made her roll her eyes. "You have to be here early today, sweetheart. Last day and all." He sounded like he was hiding something but she was too tired to care.

She groaned, "Sure, I'll leave in a few. Bye." She didn't even give him time to reply because she instantly hung up the phone and sighed.

Her hair was damp when she'd gotten on her bike forty minutes after she'd ended the call, but it was dry from the wind by the time she got to the studio. She took off her helmet and brushed her hair with her fingers to then ruffle it. She checked on one of the mirrors of her bike and she shrugged, her lipstick still perfectly on and her hair just tamed enough.

She walked through the doors and made her way to the room they were always at. When she got there she didn't even look up before she dropped her bag and helmet on a chair. "Last day I have to see you idiots all day, thank fuck!" She joked but when she was met with an unusual silence, she turned around confused and that's when her jaw dropped.

Josh Homme was sitting right there in the middle of the room and everyone else was trying to hold in their laughs. Her cheeks tinted bright red, like her lipstick, and she wanted to disappear.

But the musician chuckled, making her feel slightly better. "Lucky." Josh started, continuing the joke, "This is my first day, have another week to go with them." He stood up with his hand out to greet Ella, "Lovely to meet you..."

She cleared her throat, blinking fast to try and come back down to reality but she was shocked. "Ella." She barely managed to say and Josh nodded, shaking her hand.

"Lovely to meet you Ella." He said again and her eyes went to all of the lads in search of answers.

When none of them gave her anything other than amused smiles, she looked back to the legendary musician in front of her and smiled brightly. "Very lovely to meet you, Mr. Homme."

The man waved her off, dropping her hand, "Oh please hun, just call me Josh. We're all friends here, no formalities."

She giggled, "Right, yes."

Ella tried to remain cool as she fell back into her usual routine, taking the camera out and capturing everything she could without disturbing their process. Matt sat next to her in the big settee twenty minutes later, watching Alex and Josh talking about 'Knee Socks' which was apparently the song Josh was gonna be in, and he elbowed her to tease her.

"Big fan of Queens of the Stone Age then?" The drummer whispered.

She turned to face him with an expression that screamed it was obvious, "Who isn't?"

Matt nodded, "Well, I did tell you to come early."

She scoffed, "Yes but you didn't mention Josh fucking Homme coming here today, idiot!" She whispered aggressively and she was grateful for Alex having started to play the guitar so the chords were louder than her voice.

"Details, details." Matt replied like it was nothing and she rolled her eyes.

"I cannot believe I'm actually gonna miss seeing y'all every day again." She admitted, fake defeated to keep up her act.

He clicked his tongue, "Of course you will, you love us."

"As I always say, unfortunately." She added in the same way, with a tight lip smile.

He opened his mouth to reply but Alex called him over and he could only get up quickly on his feet to see what they were gonna do then.

She had grown mesmerized by the creative process they had as they saw them work with Josh. James got there an hour later and it felt surreal, she truly felt like she was seeing actual magic happen and it hit her when she heard the brand new bridge for the song. It sounded heavenly and bold at the same time.

She knew when the album would come out, she'd have a different perspective on it for the sole reason that she was witnessing all those turning points in the making of it. And she was sure that just from the fact that she was experiencing all of it first hand, it would become her favorite album of theirs.

When they had all gotten hungry at around ten in the morning, Ella had ordered something for everyone and when the food had arrived, they all gathered around the wooden dinner table in the kitchen to chat shit and eat before resuming their work.

Josh was so easy to be around and Ella loved that one of the people she'd always admired as a musician was also a lovely person in real life. He had thanked her for the food and given her a side hug before they all cleaned up and went back to the recording room.

Ella made sure to record as much as she could but when the battery died and she had to wait for it to charge, she put her earphones on and started listening to some music.

Matt and Jamie sat chatting in a corner of a room while Alex, Nick and Josh hovered over Alex's journal to work through some lyrics. Ten minutes passed as she sorted through her emails when Alex sat beside her and she barely noticed.

He poked at her arm to not scare her again and she turned slowly to him, "Hey," she greeted timidly.

"Was Josh Homme a nice surprise?" He asked like her reaction hadn't been enough of an answer.

Her eyebrows rose on her face as she nodded enthusiastically, "Of course, yes. I still can't believe he's just–" she paused to find the perfect word but she failed so she just subtly pointed at him and finished by saying, "There."

Alex chuckled, "What are you listening to?" He had seen her bopping her head as she typed and he was curious to know.

"Black Sabbath." She showed him her phone screen, "War Pigs. Stunning guitar riff." She added, like it was one of those texts she used to send him of the songs she was obsessing over whoever week or day and which detail was her favorite of it.

He'd heard it before, of course, so he nodded but she took off one of her earphones so he could put it in and listen with her. Once the bud was in his ear, she played the song back from the beginning and he found himself trying to think of the chords in his head.

A song like it was one that he'd love to have on this album, it was the vibe he was going for when he pictured what the record would sound like in his head.

When the song finished he took off the earbud and handed it back to her. "Brilliant guitar riff. I wanna try and play it."

She thought he meant to play it maybe later but no, he got up immediately and grabbed his Gretsch duo jet, placed a pick between his teeth as he pulled the guitar strap over his shoulders and started playing with the chords until he started getting closer and closer to it.

Josh was quick to recognize the song, "War Pigs, classic."

Alex nodded as he stopped and then started it back up again. "I wanna use it in this record, I think."

"Domino won't hate you for having to get the licenses for it?" Asked the American singer, amused.

"Nah, I'll get it somehow even if they don't want to." Alex replied very confidently.

"Atta boy." Celebrated Josh, "You'll have to give it an Arctic Monkeys twist though, make it fresh." He advised, not only so that the song would be good but for the sake of the credits of the song he was trying to make.

Alex called to his bandmates then, "Oi, Nick, Jump in this one with me. Jamie, let's play it together first and then we can start changing the chords each at a time."

A few hours later, they had a wonderful take on the War Pigs guitar riff and the band seemed to be in love with it. They recorded it and labeled it the first demo, Ella had managed to catch that recording process and she was beaming as she saw it happen.

She'd felt like she had contributed there, it made her heart swell in a strange new way. She was about to scold herself for feeling so proud about it when it was so insignificant, when Alex went up to her and gave her a brief hug.

"Thanks for that Ellie. Good thing we have you here at the studio with us, isn't it?" His hand dropped after squeezing her right arm, her left side pressed against him.

She smiled brightly then, shrugging it off because she had only played him a song he already knew, it wasn't a massive contribution. "It literally was nothing Alex."

Alex clicked his tongue, "Yeah, don't really think so." disagreeing with her, making her smile bigger.

Right there and then, it felt like it was all falling back into place at least for a few seconds and they could both take a breath of fresh air.

"Would it help you feel better if I just said you're welcome?" Her smile could be heard in her voice and it made him unbelievably happy.

He nodded, "Definitely."

"You're welcome, Al." She replied easily and he beamed at her, it was the first time she called him Al in a long while, it made his stomach flip.

"Right," The singer started, still grinning. "It's your last day with us here until next year so just leave the camera, enjoy it."

Her brows furrowed, "But the documentary—"

He waved it off, "It would be a maximum of forty five minutes, Ellie and we still have January through June to record so don't worry. There'd be plenty of footage in the future."

She hummed, "Okay boss, whatever you say." She joked and he chuckled.

The day ended far quicker than she expected it and soon enough she was saying goodbye to the band, James and Josh. They all watched her drive away on her bike as the sun set in the horizon, the ends of her long black hair waving in the air.

In the third and last week that the band had spent in the studio, which Ella hadn't been there to record, the 'War Pigs' inspired song had been born and fully developed.

It only made sense that if the song had seen its creation because of Ella, it had to be the one to home all those lines Alex had written about her.

Alex sang into the microphone as the red light on top of the booth indicated it was recording. His eyes closed as he pictured her and himself walking around LA, Las Vegas and San Diego—all the pictures and the conversations, the drinks and the fleeting touches shared.

Arabella's got some interstellar-gator skin boots

And a Helter Skelter 'round her little finger

And I ride it endlessly

She's got a Barbarella silver swimsuit

And when she needs to shelter from reality

She takes a dip in my daydreams

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

Arabella's got a '70s head

But she's a modern lover

It's an exploration, she's made of outer space

And her lips are like the galaxy's edge

And her kiss the colour of a constellation

Falling into place

My days end best when the sunset gets itself behind

That little lady sitting on the passenger side

It's much less picturesque without her catching the light

The horizon tries but it's just not as kind on the eyes

As Arabella, oh

As Arabella

Just might've tapped into your mind and soul

You can't be sure

That's magic, in a cheetah print coat

Just a slip, underneath it, I hope

Asking if, I can have one of those

Organic, cigarettes that she smokes

Wraps her lips, 'round a Mexican Coke

Makes you wish, that you were the bottle

Takes a sip of your soul, and it sounds like...

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The band's stay at the golden state had reached its end. The three weeks they had planned on staying were up but before it was time for them to leave Ella and Breana had planned a little farewell dinner. Breana would be staying in LA this time, so when she told Ella to help her organize it for the lads before they left, she just couldn't say no to her best friend.

It didn't take much organization, just a phone call to the restaurant to make a reservation and a text in the group chat to make sure the band knew where to be on Sunday the 9th at seven in the evening.

Ella was there ten minutes before the clock announced it was seven, she stood by the mural to the left side of the restaurant's door smoking a cigarette. She had just lit it, and absentmindedly took a drag out of it seeing as Julian took a few steps to stand in front of her and take the stick from her fingers.

The filter was stained with the red of her lipstick and it made her boyfriend groan, she laughed as she let the smoke out upwards, taking a peek at the moon. Julian left a trail of kisses up her throat all the way up to her chin, his lips hovered over hers but he left her breathless when he lifted the cigarette to take a drag of it and then place it back on her lips.

"Tease," she muttered with the burning stick between her lips.

The scruff of a car's brakes made them turn around, a yellow cab stopped a few feet right beside them. They were about to get back to what they were doing when one of the back doors opened and out came none other than Alex Turner.

He looked amazing under the dim street lights, the cream button up he was wearing contrasted perfectly with his black trousers and blazer. The small heels of his chelsea boots hit the pavement and composed the perfect background noise to his entrance.

Alex cleared his throat, hoping his frown wasn't as hard as it had been a minute earlier when he had seen from afar the show Ella and Julian were putting for everyone walking around the block.

Julian stepped aside to let Ella greet Alex first. "Hello Ella," he hugged her briefly but tight, she reciprocated one handed as she kept the hand she was holding her cigarette with away from him. Alex shook Julian's hand, firmly. "Nice to see you again, Julian."

Julian nodded, "Nice to see you too, Alex. How was your time in LA? Everything sweet, everything nice?"

Alex gave him a forced side smile, Ella turned to rest against the mural again and continued smoking—she tried to relax but she was internally panicking, begging to any high power that the rest of their friends showed up soon so the three wouldn't have to wait too long alone.

"Everything was great, already can't wait to be back to keep recording." From his voice she could tell he was distracted, and Ella kept her eyes closed but she felt him staring.

But why wouldn't he? She looked dashing dressed in all black. A little black slip dress on with high heeled stilettos, a leather jacket on and a small prada purse hanging off her shoulder. The dress had a slit, showing off her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo perfectly.

He was too caught up to even notice Julian had caught him staring.

"She's stunning, isn't she?" Her boyfriend had asked proudly, and Alex had gone cold.

He tried to play it cool though, nodding as he took his cigarettes out and picked one to light up. "She's always been."

If Julian had gotten jealous from that, he didn't show it as he nonchalantly then proceeded to walk towards Ella. He dove his hand into Ella's jacket pockets and fished a cigarette for himself, placing it between his teeth and staring at his girlfriend silently asking her to light him up.

She did, her movements graceful and experienced and Alex caught the small 'thank you' Julian gave her before he started smoking.

The American man had waved him over, "C'mere man, we're not gonna bite."

Alex let out a bland chuckle that made a puff of smoke leave his mouth. His steps were slow as he moved closer to them, and he wished Arielle could've canceled that late night shoot so she'd be there with him. He didn't want to be a third wheel, much less to Ella and her fucking boyfriend.

It had been a painful eight minutes he had to endure of small talk that ended with Ella narrating how it had been to spend a whole day with Josh Homme and Julian watching her talk mesmerized. Their fingers were interlocked and Alex had had to watch Julian play with Ella's fingers as he listened to her.

Just as Alex was contemplating fishing his pockets for a third smoke, ruckus broke out behind him and he recognized it instantly. He could breathe now that Breana and Matt had arrived, and when Alex fully turned, he saw Jamie and Nick exiting the cab as well.

Everyone greeted each other and once that was done, Ella walked ahead of the group into Craig's. She'd chosen the place not only because it was gorgeous and the food was delicious but because loads of famous people tended to go there so they truly wouldn't be bothered if anyone recognized them.

It wasn't long before they were seated and, to Ella's incredible fortune, she ended up seated in the middle of Alex and Julian.

Before they ordered any food, they were asked for their drinks to which they'd all agreed on a nice bottle of cabernet. Their waiter had uncorked the bottle effortlessly and served everyone a perfect amount to start with.

Chatter rolled easily as they drank more wine, their orders then taken and underway in the fancy kitchen of the place.

Their flight was taking off at noon, meaning they had to be at LAX at around nine in the morning. The band was promising to be the most sober ones just to make their next morning easy for themselves.

When their plates got to their table, they all dove in. The variety of dishes was astounding and it impressed them even more how regardless of how different each one was, they all were remarkably delicious.

Alex watched through the corner of his eye as Julian gathered a forkful of his salmon dish to feed Ella.

"Babe, you gotta try this." He'd said after a blissful hum he let out when he got the first bite of it. His hand a few inches under the fork to avoid spilling anything.

Ella was quick to open her mouth to accept the food and once it reached her tongue, she let her red lips wrap around the fork. Julian pulled back the piece of silverware as he stared attentively at her reaction and when her eyes closed in delight at the taste, he smiled bright.

She waited until she was finished with her bite to speak, "That's really fucking good."

Alex wanted to roll his eyes, how was it that even surrounded by other four people he still felt like a third wheel. His fork screeched as he gathered his rigatoni alla vodka.

Conversations continued as everyone slowly worked through their food, not really minding it going cold because they were all just basking in each other's presence.

"Helders, you're giving me my best friend back, finally. Thank you very much." Ella teased as she remembered that Breana was planning on staying in LA the whole time they'd be gone.

The drummer sighed, squeezing his girlfriend's hand under the table. "Yeah, not really my choice to be honest. She'd always be by my side if it was for me."

"Awh look at you, maybe you are romantic after all." The PA cooed, a little pout on her face at the sight of them.

Matt let out a small giggle, "Of course I am, idiot."

"Well it's hard to picture with the stories I hear." Ella trailed off, making Jamie and Nick look at her curiously.

Matt smirked, "Like what you're told?"

"Pretty vanilla to me, honestly." She played, making Matt laugh a little too loud.

"Okay, kinky bastard." The teasing made Ella sit straighter as she flushed, Julian smiled proudly next to her. Alex just wanted to disappear, he would beg to hear anything else but what she got up to with Julian in the bedroom.

To Alex's relief, she wasn't in the mood to share any stories. "Guess your hand is gonna have to do for the next few months." The faux pity in her voice was so heavy it had Matt glaring at her.

"It will, and those scans you're meant to send me." He made sure to remind her as she'd promised him and he had really liked those previews she'd shown him on her phone.

Nick sighed, exasperated at the turn the conversation had taken. He really didn't want to think about his mate wanking to pictures of his girlfriend while he was eating the best scallops he'd ever had. "Can yous fucking stop? I'm trying to eat."

Ella laughed, "So very sorry, Nick."

The bassist huffed in exaggerated annoyance, "You better be."

Once everyone finished their food, the waiter had been fast to pick the plates up and ask if they fancied anything else. Soon enough, a new bottle of wine was on its way and, just as fast as it had arrived, they were finishing it.

They each had been drinking more red then than at the start of the night so the bottle didn't last more than twenty minutes.

Ella hummed then, seeing as most of their glasses were empty—Alex being the only one to have a sip of it left. "Anyone fancy a bottle of champers?" Her question was thrown in the air and they all slowly agreed.

She turned to Julian, mumbling something that only Alex got to properly hear. "Don't have any rings on me though..."

Alex's right hand reached over for his wine glass and just as his fingers rounded it, he heard Julian say something to him.

"That ring's sick man, mind if I have a look at it?"

Alex was confused but he nodded nonetheless, putting his glass back on the table to take the ring off and hand it to the videographer. He only took a look at it for a quick two seconds before he put it on his own pinky finger.

"Looks great doesn't it?" He lifted his hand up to show Ella and she nodded. Alex frowned, what the fuck is he doing putting my ring on?

Julian made him snap back to reality when he took it off and mumbled a quick, "Would look better on you though." And before Alex could even have time to process that, he got up and walked around his chair to kneel in front of Ella.

The singer's eyes almost popped out of his head and Breana's gasp was loud enough to grab the attention of not only their whole table but the ones around them. Suddenly, the restaurant started to quiet down as everyone's attention turned to the dirty blonde down on one knee in front of his girlfriend.

"Ella, honey, you are by far the sweetest most wonderful thing that has happened to me." His voice was so sweet as it reached her ears and she knew it was only the start but she was already swooning. "I wish time had been kinder to me and let me meet you before but the fact that you even are in my life now is enough to feel like life didn't cheat me. You take my breath away with everything you do, everything you say and everything you are. My heart bursts at its seams just by thinking of you and every time I get to see you." Her heart definitely felt like it was failing her from how much she loved the man kneeling in front of her.

"You are my perfect accomplice, I cannot imagine doing life with anybody else. Every night, I wish upon every star I'm able to see in this polluted city that I'll be able to be yours forever. And I can only hope I'm lucky enough to have you feel the same, to know that you want me to be yours until the end of times." A small sob escaped her, tears pooling in her eyes threatening to spill at any moment. "And I think about asking you to marry me every night when we go to sleep and I see that sweet little pout next to me, the way you cling to me is a feeling I don't ever wanna lose. I don't ever wanna lose you." The tears were falling, wetting her lips which were stuck in a beaming smile. "I want to witness you and what you become, worship every single bit of you and all you do. In this life and the next, if you'll have me. Ella, my love, would you marry me?" He finally asked and the giggles escaped her as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Yes!" She exclaimed breathlessly, "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." She chanted as she cupped his face. Julian kissed the inside of her palm and then grabbed her left hand to put the ring on. It fit perfectly. Once it was on, they sealed the moment with a long kiss, Ella holding Julian's face with both her hands like she was afraid he'd disappear if she didn't have her hold on him.

Alex was so fucking confused, he felt like he was gonna puke everything he'd had that night. He felt himself sweating cold, and he was sure he was as pale as a white sheet of paper. Everyone around them was hollering, Nick and Jamie wolf whistling as Breana cried while she clapped and Matt had the brightest smile.

Their table neighbors cooed and clapped as Julian rose to sit back down, his lips red from Ella's lipstick. Alex looked around in shock but the only one who caught him was Matt, his smile faltered slightly at the sight of his friend but then he chuckled. The whole thing had fucked him over.

Soon their waiter came back, but with a bucket filled with ice homing a massive bottle of Champagne. Champagne flutes being carried by a waitress right behind him.

The young man smiled at the couple who'd just stolen the show and set the bottle in the middle of the table. "We're beyond happy to have witnessed this new step in your beautiful relationship so we wanted to give you this to celebrate." The lady behind him set the seven tall glasses on the table before they both proceeded to serve the beverage. "The chef wanted to congratulate you as well with some lovely dessert which I'll be bringing out in just a moment."

Ella cooed, her hand on her chest. "Thank you so much! You are all so sweet."

The pair nodded with a smile before they left and once everyone in the restaurant settled back again, Ella and Julian shared another quick kiss. She wiped on his bottom lip when she broke the kiss, leaning back slightly with the brightest smile on her face.

Alex was still malfunctioning so Matt took it upon himself to get an explanation out of the couple.

"So, what was that?" His question seemed amused, not really believing in the veracity of the proposal as they had literally used Alex's 'death ramps' ring. That detail only made him want to laugh harder.

Ella shrugged, whispering her answer. "Well y'all did say you wanted some champagne so mission accomplished."

Jamie cackled, "You cheeky bitch."

"That's me." Ella replied, winking at him. But then she sighed, absolutely elated. "We have done this many times before, must've gotten engaged at least half a dozen times in loads of places around the country but, oh my god, he went off with this one." She turned to Julian and scrunched up her nose to him. "I fucking adore you."

Alex's confusion then turned into anger. What the fuck? All he could think was how easy it was for them to make up such a deceiving situation but the thing that had him seething was the fact that they had just decided to do that with his ring. What the fuck are they on about? He kept asking himself over and over.

Julian stole a few pecks from her, tinting his lips redder than they already were. "Adore you even more."

Alex was about to lose it, he could only think about going for a smoke or two but he'd have to wait it out a little longer or he'd be way too obvious.

The champagne was heavenly, the bubbles running down their throats perfectly. They resumed their conversation like nothing had happened but then some nosey people started coming over to the table as they made their ways to leave the restaurant. Most of them were sweet, telling them 'congratulations' before they told them some cringe joke about the honeymoon and they'd leave with a wink; but the young couple that had just approached their table had asked to see the ring.

Ella had tried not to laugh, covering it up with a cough. She showed off her left hand, the 'death ramps' ring snuggled around her slender finger and matching perfectly with her red nails.

The unknown girl had frowned, confused at the ring choice and Ella giggled. "That's his most special ring. A family thing really, so it's very special he's proposed with it."

The strangers only nodded with a forced smile that had everyone at the table biting their tongues not to laugh—everyone except for Alex, who was growing angrier, because apparently it was Julian's family ring now.

He had to hold back a scoff, choosing to just down the champagne he had left and excuse himself to go to the bathroom.

No one really noticed the haste in which he left the table except for Matt, who followed his path with an attentive gaze. Everyone else at the table was too busy listening to the bullshit details of Ella's very much fake upcoming wedding.

"Bright pink flowers and a purple dress? You are insane." Nick shook his head at the deranged shit she was saying.

"Wait until you hear about our rainbow triple layer wedding cake." Ella added and the thought of it made everyone laugh harder. She only hoped no one was eavesdropping and taking what she was saying seriously because then they'd think she was insane.

Alex threw cold water on his face to get him to calm down. It was fake, they're not engaged, they did not get engaged with your ring. You have a stunning girlfriend that you love very much, you told her you loved her only two days ago. Ella is happy with someone else, you're just friends—that's all you'll ever be. He kept telling himself all that like he was a religious man reciting his favorite holy book verses.

Once Alex got back to the table, he found everyone taking bites of a big apple crumble with vanilla ice cream on top.

Ella waved him over excitedly, "Al, come here! You need to try this."

His ring on her finger flashed under the lights in the restaurant. How he wished he'd been the one to give it to her.

He sat down on his seat on her right side, and instantly was surprised by Ella feeding him a spoonful of dessert. He didn't know what he was expecting but she didn't take the spoon away for him, making Alex have to do the rest for himself. He set the utensil on top of his cloth napkin that was still on the table where he'd left it before running off.

He nodded, relishing in the sweetness of the dish. His brain took him back to the day they shared funnel cakes at Belmont Park and he smiled fondly. He remembered the excited smile on her face as she waited for his reaction to the food and he couldn't help but compare it to how she was looking at him at the moment.

"S'really good." Alex agreed and she nodded back.

"Right?!" She turned back to grab another bite with her own spoon, "You're very welcome guys, I will be expecting an award later."

Jamie smirked then, taking the opportunity to tease Ella. "We'll leave it to Julian to give you your prize, Ellie."

Her breath hitched making her cough and Julian laughed beside her, he brought a hand to her back to rub it soothingly whilst she kept coughing with a hand over her mouth. Alex wanted to die right there, why were his friends like that?

"Oh she will. Whatever she wants tonight, she gets it." Julian agreed, "Shall we try that leather thing you ordered the other day?" He suggested, making Ella's eyes widen. Next to her, Alex was staring at his lap with the same expression.

She pinched Julian's waist, "Fucks sake, shut up!" She shouted in a whisper, the last thing she needed was the lads finding out how she was in bed when she knew they'd just tease her endlessly about it.

Matt was quick to try and pry for more information, "Oh Julian, do tell us what that leather thing is."

Alex wanted to interfere before anything else was said, Please do not tell us, Julian.

He opened his mouth to start explaining but Ella's hand flew over his mouth to avoid anyone getting an explanation.

"Yeah, you're not getting anything from him," she started with a threatening voice, her eyes swimming around the table and then she turned to her boyfriend to finish her ultimatum, "If he wants to use it tonight."

Julian nodded obediently but licked the palm of her hand that was still covering his mouth just to get on her nerves. Ella scoffed and then used her napkin to clean her hand, Alex stole a glance at her and she looked so happy regardless of the teasing that it made him want to leave already.

Breana smirked at her best friend who was sitting right in front of her, "You're really hot Ellie, has anyone told you that?" Ella smirked back at her, if there was anyone who was her loyal cheerleader, it was Bre.

"Only you all the time, my love." She blew the model a kiss which she reciprocated.

Matt hugged Breana by the waist, bringing her to his side possessively and pointed a finger at Julian. "Oi, get your girlfriend to stop flirting with mine."

Everyone started laughing, the giggles filling the air around their table. Ella winked at Breana and then turned to Matt to bother him a bit more.

"You just know I could steal her from you easily."

Matt scoffed but when Breana agreed with a "She could." He rolled his eyes.

It was his turn to mortify Ella, "Can we get another round of applause for the soon-to-be married?" The drummer asked loudly to the rest of the restaurant and when the place erupted in claps and cheers, Ella hid in Julian's neck.

Her and Julian had to look around mouthing 'thank you's to the people around them. Minutes passed and when finally no one had their eyes on them, she glared at Matt. "You're a fucking menace, let's just get the check already."

Ten minutes later, they had paid and were outside waiting for their taxis. The head chef had gone out to personally congratulate Julian and Ella and she had started to feel bad for deceiving everyone at the restaurant like that. The champagne and dessert had been worth it though, but the guilt set in when before they left, one of the waitresses gave her a lovely bouquet of roses.

Once outside, Ella had felt like she could breathe again. She took one rose out of the arrangement she was holding in her right hand and gave it to Breana. She thanked her with a loud kiss on her cheek which made Matt get in the middle of them to keep Ella away from her, as he'd said.

The lads were all leaving in the same cab back to the hotel, meaning Bre would share the taxi with Julian and Ella.

"Are you staying over?" Julian asked his girlfriend's best friend, knowing he was gonna stay at Ella's.

Breana let out a sarcastic laugh, ""Yeah, absolutely not. I'd like to get a good night's sleep, thank you very much."

Ella rolled her eyes, "We're not that loud."

Bre disagreed instantly, "Yes you are. Don't even try to fight me on this one unless you want me to record a voice note of it next time as proof."

Alex was grateful he'd decided to light up a cigarette the second they stepped outside, he was lost in the nicotine filling his system and texting Arielle to avoid listening further into the conversation his friends were having.

He could hear the commotion behind him after Ella had finally whispered to Breana in her ear what it was that she'd ordered. Alex ignored the gasp the model let out, and how loud Matt had gotten as he was trying to find out too, to read whatever Arielle was saying about the video she was shooting.

Soon enough the cab that was taking the guys arrived and they all started hugging around. Bre wouldn't let go of Matt as Ella walked around hugging everyone goodbye. The PA was feeling weirdly nostalgic even if she knew they'd be back in LA in no time.

Jamie and Nick both squished her in a hug, she was gonna miss them so much. "Gonna wish on every star the months go by fast, I'm gonna miss you so much." They reciprocated her words, promising they'd be back as soon as the holidays were over.

Alex dropped his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it before opening his arms to her. They swayed with their holds tight on each other. "Gonna miss you." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Me too." Ella replied and let go of him. She took his ring off her finger and gave it back to him, "Sorry for stealing it for so long, hope you enjoyed the champagne at least."

He chuckled, putting the ring back on his little finger. "I did, thanks Ellie." What he hadn't enjoyed was the way his heart dropped at the proposal, and the way his brain seemed to hold onto Julian's every word despite every try at forcing himself to think about anything else.

He was going to go insane.

Smiling brightly, "You're welcome," she said lastly before she left to walk towards Matt and Breana. When she got to them, she poked Bre on the ribs. "As much as I hate him, I wanna say goodbye." She joked.

The model left her boyfriend with a loud peck on his lips and proceeded to hug everyone else goodbye, following after Julian who was now saying bye to Nick with a typical bro hug.

Ella hugged Matt, "Don't take too long to come back yeah? She's gonna be insufferable if you're not back the second it turns 2013."

He laughed in her ear, giving her a squeeze before they both let go of each other. "I will, I promise."

They'd had to basically push Matt into the cab after that, because he could not stop kissing Breana goodbye. They could see the exasperated look on the driver's face but Alex promised him they'd give him a big tip for the inconvenience.

Julian, Ella and Breana waved them goodbye as the car left and then they sighed when it went out of their view.

Ella snaked her arm around Bre's waist and she started walking, "Let's go, my love."

Julian followed after them, chuckling. "I love how the second I'm alone with you two, I end up being the third wheel."

Bre giggled, "Get used to it Jules, she was mine first."

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Alex thought being back in the UK would be the cure for it all. Being away from LA, surrounded by his family and friends and walking through the familiar streets around the city of London would whisk away the thought of Ella.

How wrong had he been.

It had been almost two months since they'd left Los Angeles, the month of November just starting, the weather getting colder and colder on the way to the holiday season. But not cold enough for him to endure the actual madness the Halloween week had caused him.

He'd gone to a Halloween party he'd been invited to with his friends and his girlfriend but nothing interesting had happened there, everything that had gone wrong was purely Ella's fault.

Despite Halloween being on a Thursday, Ella had partied from Wednesday to Friday and Alex only knew because she'd posted pictures to her Instagram that had left him gasping for air.

On Wednesday she had posted multiple pictures of a photoshoot she seemed to have done with Breana. They were both dressed as witches only they only had lacey lingerie bodysuits under a black velvet cloak that barely covered them. They had pointy witch hats on their heads in some pictures and their fingers were halfway covered in some kind of black ink that tied it all together.

The pictures looked stunning, there was no denying Ella's amazing photography skills and creativity when it came to setting a perfect shoot, but the one that had fucked with him the most was one where Ella seemed to have Bre's hand around her neck.

In the picture Ella was laying on the grass, surrounded by black candles lit alive and pages that displayed weird imagery. She was staring at the camera whilst Breana's arm seemed to rest between her boobs so her hand came to wrap around Ella's neck—her pointer finger was lifted and pressing on Ella's bottom lip. The red lighting setting the mood even more.

When Alex saw that as he unlocked his phone and scrolled through instagram, he choked on his coffee. The liquid splattered all over the kitchen counter as he struggled to set the mug down before finding a napkin to clean everything up.

It was like something ignited inside of him, something that he'd tried so hard not to let catch a single spark after coming back from California.

He'd spent a good fifteen minutes staring at the pictures, his eyes stuck on Ella, making him wonder why she wasn't in front of the camera more often. She was meant to be the focus of the frames. He could prove it with that singular picture.

His mind obsessed over how much he wanted to take Breana's place in the pictures, especially that one. He wanted to have her underneath him like that, at his mercy with his hand around her throat—completely surrendered to him.

It was Nick's knock on his door that startled him back to reality, he quickly dropped his empty mug in the sink and locked his phone before opening the door and letting the bassist in. He told him he'd go for a quick piss before they left.

When he got to the bathroom he could only think of the pictures, he had to splash his face multiple times to get the thoughts out of his head. Get a fucking grip mate! He told himself as he tapped his cheeks repeatedly. He sighed, he was going to go mad.

Later that day, when he was too many tequila shots in after a football game they'd been watching had finished in a tense round of penalties, Alex found himself unconsciously scrolling through Instagram and looking for Ella's page.

He found a new picture posted: Breana and Ella dressed in the witch costumes and with cocktails in hand. Bre was helping Ella light up her cigarette with her own that was sticking out from between her teeth.

Alex groaned as he scrolled back down to find the picture he couldn't stop thinking about, only the alcohol loosening his senses up enough to feel his dick twitch in his pants the second he laid his eyes on it.

Fucking hell...

The next night, he remembered being in the kitchen making some popcorn for him and Arielle to snack on while watching movies when he stumbled across yet another picture of her halloween celebrations.

It was a mirror picture this time, taken by Breana who seemed to be dressed as the opposite to her best friend—a regular angel, dressed in all white. In comparison, Ella was wearing nothing but a black corset and a garter belt underneath holding up her sheer thigh high stockings, on her back were a pair of black angel wings that completed her costume. Her long black hair fell in waves over her shoulders but not hiding the swell of her breasts that were on full show thanks to the tightness of her corset.

He cursed under his breath feeling incredibly flustered at the sight, the insistent beeping of the microwave was disrupting his efforts to gather himself. He poured the popcorn in a bowl and hastily made his way back to his room. The movie wasn't even fifteen minutes in when he had pounced on his girlfriend in search of some relief, and he was glad to feel her reciprocation. He'd sighed when he had finished, relishing in the dissipation of his pent up frustration.

That only lasted for a day because he was once again drowning in filthy thoughts about Ella. He was tipsy, dressed as a bloody washing machine to match his girlfriend's costume as Florence—it had been his idea to make the pun work as a costume, Florence and the (washing) Machine—, when he'd gone out for a cigarette and scrolled through social media without even being focused on it. He'd just wanted to distract himself from the noise of the party he was in but the picture Ella had posted only ten minutes before shook his ground.

He hated it because Julian was in it dressed as Hugh Hefner, holding Ella's waist tightly and smiling brightly, yet he fucking loved it because she looked stunning. Playboy bunny, of course she had to dress up as one.

Her legs on full show, only covered by sheer black stockings, the bodice she was wearing hugged her curves perfectly, cuffs on her wrist, a tuxedo collar with a bow tie around her neck, and the bunny ears perched on top of her head. But what made him gasp for air was the fluffy tail on her ass, she just looked so fucking irresistible he almost ran to the bathroom to alleviate himself.

He'd left the party relatively early with Arielle, after she just couldn't wait any longer to get home from all the things he was whispering in her ear. He'd been eager to start it all the second they walked through the front door of his flat, hands working as fast as they could because he could feel the thought of Ella chasing him as he got off with Arielle.

It was like she was haunting his every thought.

Not even after their activities had he been able to catch sleep. Arielle was spent, softly snoring beside him but he just couldn't rest. He got up and hid in the bathroom, his phone clutched in his hand to succumb to temptation, to the thought of her.

He had taken a screenshot of the picture, cropping Julian fast before he could do anything else. He'd tried his hardest to stay as quiet as possible as his fist pumped his hard cock, shaky breaths leaving him with each stroke to the sight of Ella in that damn costume.

He thought how he'd not be able to wait much to fuck her in it, he was sure that if he was with her that night he'd have her bent over the kitchen counter the second they got home. His hand print would certainly be marked on her ass by the end of the night and her neck littered with love bites because there was nothing he wanted to do more than to mark that pretty neck up as he pounded into her from behind.

The thought of his hips rocking against hers was more than enough to tip him over the end, imagining he was letting his cum drip all over her ass and her lower back. What a sight that would be.

He felt calmer after that, but as he cleaned up he started to grow restless. What the fuck are you doing? He asked himself, looking at his reflection in the mirror, he was disappointed in himself for having just wanked to a picture of Ella for the second time, but mostly because the satisfaction was stronger than his disappointment. He made sure to delete the screenshot from his phone before he exited the bathroom, the last thing he needed was his girlfriend finding out he was cumming to the thought of somebody else.

He thought then, when Halloween week was over and November claimed its very first week, it would be back to normal for him, as normal as it could be. She had been posting her usual pictures: shots of different parts of the city of Los Angeles, candids of strangers around her, pictures from her usual photoshoots which mostly caught Breana front and center of the camera. His innocent scrolls through Instagram were just that, innocent and appreciating of her talent, but a fateful afternoon in the very middle of the month had him cursing into the air.

She looked drenched, head to toe, but only wearing a two-piece lingerie set that made his eyes roll back into his head. He groaned as he started getting hard in his sweatpants. She had suspenders that clasped on the top of her knickers and those thigh high stockings that looked marvelous on her. Her legs looked longer with the stilettos she had on and the oversized blazer that was hanging off her shoulders somehow made her look hotter. She had him in shambles.

'He says I'm his muse' she'd captioned it and Alex wished he could tell her she was his too. Despite wanting to punch Julian for having Ella, he mentally thanked him for such a stunning picture of her.

That had been the third time he'd made a mess in the bathroom to the thought of her, this time in the shower just like the first time and letting himself make as much noise as he wanted to since he was home alone. He was afraid of letting himself moan Ella's name, wary of the things that would unravel but when it fell from his lips as he came, he'd never felt something sound more right in his life.

He should've really listened to himself back then and stopped himself from moaning her name because by the last month of the year, he'd lost count of how many times he'd come undone while chanting her name. The walls echoing her name back to him every time he needed relief, which was almost every time she posted.

To a picture of her naked silhouette on the beach against the golden light casted by the dying sun. A picture Julian had taken of her naked in bed, the sheets barely covering her body. A picture Breana had taken of her sucking her middle finger staring at the camera, her hollowed cheeks on perfect show. A picture just centered on her tits which were barely covered by the two glasses of vodka cranberry she had, one on each hand and over her nipples.

He had lost count of how many times he had screenshotted and deleted pictures from his phone to not get caught. He found himself looking through her instagram more times than not. It was bad, he was down bad.

It had been Matt who had caught onto him, it only had taken him a few times to catch up onto his pattern.

The first time had been when they had all been over at Alex's to watch an American football match they had been anticipating, that's why it had been so weird to Matt when Alex stood up and left in the middle of a play that was gonna end up in a definite touchdown for the team they were rooting for.

Alex had gotten a notification on his phone, opened Instagram only to find a picture that had made him choke on the sip of beer he'd taken. He tried to put his phone down and watch the game but his eyes were almost glued to the picture Ella had just posted.

It was her in front of the camera with her boyfriend behind her, holding her bare tits for her. His hands covered her breasts from the camera as she glared at it with a threatening stare. Her red lips were enticing with a lit up cigarette hanging from them. 'Bras are overrated'. He was embarrassed of how fast he'd liked the picture, considering unliking it to maintain his reputation intact but it was too late, Ella probably had already gotten the notification about it.

He was quick to just up and leave, hearing the commentator's talk in the background about how that play was decisive for the future of the team in the season on the road to the Superbowl. He couldn't be arsed about the fucking game anymore, not when his jeans grew painfully constricting by the second, the longer that he stared at the picture.

He made sure to close both his bedroom door and his ensuite door, groaning in pleasure as his fingers closed around his cock. He thought about himself holding her that way, the way he would pinch her nipples, play with them, twist them around, knead her tits and mark them up until she was cuming underneath him. His thoughts only focused on how much he'd love to make her lose herself entirely just by him playing with her breasts.

His movements were fast, trying to picture her moaning—just like he always did. 'What a privilege must it be to hear those pretty sounds' that was a thought that permanently stayed in his head and that time it wasn't the exception. He'd want to explore every inch of her skin, see which spot in her neck would have her squirming around and whining for him not to stop.

He could almost hear her begging him to suck harder, to not stop.

"Fuck– Ella–" his words sounded strangled as he came.

Five minutes was the time he'd taken and the time it had taken the game to almost finish. There were only thirty seconds on the clock and it was the last quarter of the game. It was good that his team was winning by seven points or else he'd actually be disappointed to see them leave.

Matt frowned at him, "Where'd you go?"

"Had to use the toilet." The singer replied way too quickly and aggressively.

The drummer knew instantly he was lying, Nick and Jamie noticed too but they were too invested in the game to care. But Matt was nosey so he kept his gaze on his best mate as if that would give him the truth, but it didn't.

Alex ignored him completely, keeping his eyes on the television screen and not once reciprocating the stare. Matt hummed, intrigued. He was sure he'd find out what had happened eventually.

Matt's eyes went back to the end of the game and when it was over they celebrated their team's victory by four points. Alex offered to bring them all new bottles of beer and once he was gone, the drummer pulled out his phone to pass the time.

He had a few notifications piled up, the one about Ella's new picture having been posted only 7 minutes before was there below a few new texts he'd gotten from Breana. He was quick to answer to his girlfriend, not being able to connect the dots about Alex's behavior.

A few days later, when they were all at Nick's, Matt had caught Alex being weird again. Only this time he had a certain idea of what could be happening.

Kelly and Katie had been going on about the wedding planning and how they had found a lovely florist and now they needed to start looking for the bridesmaids dresses and Kelly's wedding dress. Matt had joked about how Nick would be getting a quick day to shop for his tux and then they'd put all of their focus on the stag party.

The sizzle of the wood burning on the fireplace was loud but not enough to overpower their laughter, Alex almost missed the buzzing in his pocket.

He had been talking to his girlfriend, as she was coming back to London to spend the holidays with him and his family. He was nervous but excited, mostly excited—to have her back and see if she could cure his fogged up brain which had been claimed by Ella in the past three months.

Not even their raunchy phone calls would take the multiple images of Ella he had in his head and he was starting to feel bad. He could only hope that being able to have Arielle back beside him would sweep the thoughts away.

She had been texting him her flight information, going on and on about how nervous she was to spend the holidays with Penny and David, to which he had been telling her it would be alright. His parents had always loved having his girlfriends over when it was holiday season, and they both really liked her. It would be alright.

He had expected another 'won't I be bothering you all?' or maybe a 'how many presents should I take?' when he pulled out his phone from his pocket but he'd gotten that notification, the one that was his doom and blessing at the same time.

'Ella Hayes just posted a picture'

He sighed, bringing the brightness down on his phone so no one around him could catch what he was seeing. It wasn't like they could, he was sitting in a chair in the corner of the living room, barely interacting with anyone other than the moments he'd join them all in laughter. They knew he was texting his girlfriend so they weren't asking about it, Matt had already teased the information out of him earlier.

Alex stood up and absentmindedly asked anyone if they wanted a refill, to which only Jamie and Matt asked for another bottle of beer.

He nodded before scurrying away to the hallway that would take him to the kitchen. When he was halfway through it, he opened the app and found himself at a loss of words at the sight.

He set his empty bottle on top of the kitchen island and looked up at the ceiling almost like asking someone up there for help. He rubbed his face with his left hand, knowing what was going to happen. There was not even time for him to double think it, or feel too embarrassed about it because with another look at what she had posted, he was gone down the rabbit hole she sent him to.

It was Ella's car—he could see the mirrorball with the cowboy hat hanging from the rearview mirror—and it had the door open. Ella was seated on the passenger seat, her long legs stretched so that her stiletto-clad feet were resting on the windowsill of the door.

All he could see was her legs, her long tan legs and he was gone. He couldn't not do it.

He didn't even hesitate to exit the kitchen and walk further down the hallway into the guest bathroom.

He cussed under his breath staring at the picture like it could come alive. He could see how the leather skirt she was wearing was barely covering her so the bottom of her ass was on show and pressed over the seat.

Feral. He felt like he was going feral.

He had thought about kissing up her legs, marking them up from her ankles all the way up to her inner thighs. If he thought hard enough, he could hear her panting as he got closer to her heat. He came so fast just thinking about the ways he'd edge her and how good she could sound begging him to help her like she needed to. She'd taste so sweet, he was sure and his mouth found itself dry at the thought of tasting her.

He'd had to bite his lip to not make noise, his insides hurt at the fact that he couldn't call out her name, but he'd rather not be caught. He didn't care if he had taken too long to make his friends wonder what he was doing, he could only think about how good that had felt.

He made sure to check himself so it wasn't obvious, the flush on his cheeks could be given to his drinking so he didn't think much about it.

The people in the living room finally heard the opening of the fridge and the clinking of the bottles as Alex made his way back to them.

"Took you long enough," joked Jamie as he was handed his bottle. "Cheers mate."

Matt was handed his and he couldn't help but interrogate his friend who had a pretty elated look on his face. "Where did you go?"

Alex panicked, shrugging his shoulders. "Erm... Arielle. I was talking to Arielle."

The singer's voice was trying to sound firm but he knew him like the back of his hand. So Matt just nodded, his brows still furrowed in confusion, "Arielle... Right." He knew that face, he had it himself every time after he'd call Breana late at night and she'd dirty talk him into orgasm. Alex had just gotten off. Dirty fucker, thought Matt.

A few minutes went by, when Matt's phone pinged. He unlocked it and cussed, "Jesus fucking Christ."

"What?" Nick asked with a chuckle.

Matt looked flustered and brought his beer bottle to his face for his cheeks to cool down. "Remind me to thank Ella tomorrow. Holy fuck."

Alex tensed, there was no way he was talking like that about Ella's picture surely.

His questions were answered when Kelly asked him further, "Why?"

The drummer stood up and handed her his phone, "She takes the best pictures of Bre, I swear."

Alex let go of the breath he had been holding, Fuck, that was close.

Kelly whistled lowly, "Lucky man, Helders. She's fucking fit."

Matt smiled proudly, "I know, I know."

The phone was passed around and Katie gasped, "When am I meeting Ella? I want my pictures taken like that, fucking hell."

When the phone reached Alex's hand, he nodded agreeing with everyone else. Bre was leaning back on a windowsill, her head thrown back so it wasn't captured on the frame; the room completely dark but the golden hour lighting bathing her body which was covered only by a white lingerie set. "You should go to LA with us next year, Ella takes the best pictures."

The rest of the lads agreed, and Jamie further suggested Katie joining them in LA as Alex handed Matt back his phone.

The singer's peace was interrupted when Matt, a few seconds later, coughed as he'd choked on the mouthful of beer he'd taken.

Everyone asked him if he was okay as he continued to cough, "Fucks sake." He cursed, trying to get oxygen back into his lungs. "I cannot believe it's the Ella we know that keeps posting these pictures."

Kelly had heard loads about Ella so she was intrigued to see, she asked to grab Matt's phone and he handed it to her easily. He looked at Alex, who caught his gaze but averted it quickly—Matt had clearly seen his like on the picture, a picture which had only been posted some minutes before when he was 'talking to Arielle'.

"That's hot," Kelly said quickly, making Nick laugh at her bluntness, "What? She is!" She then turned the phone to show Katie and Jamie, "Are you gonna tell me that's not hot?"

"Fuck yes, it is." Agreed Katie instantly.

Matt encouraged them to look at the rest of her pictures then, remembering she had posted some that had left him wondering if it was really the Ellie he knew. "You should look at some of her other pictures, they are insane considering how shy she used to always be."

And that's how Kelly and Katie had started scrolling through her pictures and marveling over them.

"This is Ella? The one that went to Vegas with yous and Bre?" Had asked Kelly, completely at loss for words.

She remembered how coy she had been when they talked on the phone during that trip, after the boys had found out about her and Nick's engagement.

Matt nodded with a smirk, "Yep, that's her."

Jamie quickly added, "She's gotten with this lad, and now she's just her filthy self in the open. Good for her actually, he's fit, nice lad."

"Oooo," wondered Katie, "Are there pictures of him?"

Matt cackled, "Yeah, he makes a few appearances on her page."

When they found one they gasped, "Fucking hell!" Katie grabbed Jamie's arm for him to see, he didn't have social media so she was sure he hadn't seen any of the pictures.

It was a picture of them on a bike by the beach, she was in a bikini and he was shirtless. They looked incredibly good together, like the protagonists of a movie. Jamie smiled at it, they looked so happy. He was so happy for Ella.

"They look good together, don't they?" the guitarist asked his girlfriend, who was almost drooling.

"They're both fucking fit! Are you joking?" Katie exclaimed.

Alex wanted to leave the room, he didn't want to start thinking about those two together once again. Not when he had just done that to her latest picture a few minutes before.

"Right, Al?" He only managed to hear from Matt.

He had gotten lost in the thought of Ella, again. "Sorry, what?"

"I said that they make a great couple." Matt wanted to push his buttons, just to see if he'd break.

Alex smiled, it was so forced that Katie and Kelly looked at Matt searching for answers about his distaste for them. The drummer only smirked harder and then turned back to stare at his friend, wanting to hear him say it.

"They are. Very good couple." The singer agreed, painfully.

And right then, Matt started narrating the fake proposal to Kelly and Katie. Alex rolled his eyes, letting his head hang, staring at his 'death ramps' ring as Matt's voice filled his ears.

But the moment that had fully confirmed Matt's suspicions was when they were over at Alex's a few days before New Year's Eve.

The lads were all sat in the living room, chatting about how Christmas had been. Everyone was really interrogating Alex about how it had gone for Arielle to spend Christmas over with him and his parents. The conversation had turned after about ten minutes, Jamie and Nick chatting loudly as Matt and Alex were caught up by their phones.

Alex was just distracted, his girlfriend was texting him from time to time as she'd gone out for the day with her friends. Matt was talking to Ella and Breana though, in the groupchat the three of them had.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:22) I have some scans that I just found and I've decided this will be my Christmas gift for you Matt.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:24) You know where to send them, Ellie xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:25) Please tell me you're not in public, i don't want to get blamed for your indecency.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:25) I'm at Alex's. send them over x

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:26) He's gonna wank in his guest bathroom, how much do you wanna bet, Ellie?

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:26) Not even gonna bet, he will do it. I'm 100% sure.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:27) Am I really gonna be kept waiting? You've already talked Miss Hayes, email them.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:28) Someone's eager...

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:28) Babe I miss you and Ella takes the best pictures of you, of course I am xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:29) Miss you more, honey. You're gonna love these, everything is red ;) xxxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:31) Aw cute. Don't start sexting here please, I will like to not be traumatized x

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:32) Shut up, you're dirtier than me and Bre combined x

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:34) And proud of it! (Just sent them, enjoy idiot xx)

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:34) Matt, don't leave yet, I'm trying to convince Ella to post at least one of the ones I took of her that day.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:35) What are the options?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:35) Just sent them to you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:37) Ellie, these are fucking amazing. At least post them to brag about Bre's photography skills. You're teaching her well xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:37) See!!!! That one where she's doing the strap of her heel is my favorite.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:38) But it's just been Christmas, maybe I should post something more festive?

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:38) Babe if you don't post it, I will go into your account and do it for you.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) It'll be a christmas gift for people's wank banks. I'm sure julian will greatly appreciate it xx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:39) Wank banks?! Stop it.

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:39) Yeah your boyfriend's for a start. And I'm sure there's a long list after him.

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:40) Honey, I said convince her not keep her from it.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:42) Matt you're such an idiot, but okay I will post it only for you Bre. Any excuse to brag about my girl xxxxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:42) Yay! love youuuu xxxxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:43) And for Julian???? Also stop trying to steal MY girlfriend.

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:43) Hahaha sure for Julian too. And I will never xx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Okay Matt, you can go enjoy those pictures now xxxxx

Matt - (28/12/2012 09:45) Thanks hot stuff, talk to you later? xxxx

Bre - (28/12/2012 09:45) Definitely ;) xxx

Ellie - (28/12/2012 09:46) Disgusting, bye. Enjoy your wank.

Matt chuckled, he wanted to do nothing more than to leave and enjoy the scans Ella had sent him but he wanted to confirm his suspicions first.

He had joined Jamie and Nick's chat to appear distracted but he truly had all of his attention on Alex.

Five minutes later when both of their phones vibrated to the notification, Matt had to force himself to act as if he hadn't noticed.

Alex had frozen in his seat, his finger clicking on it and he sat up straighter when he opened the picture. He felt like Ella was purposely torturing him. A groan was stuck in his throat when the picture loaded.

Ella was leaning on the wall, wearing a red sheer robe. She was slightly bent down with her leg lifted upwards so she could do the strap of the heels she was wearing. Her hair was covering up her face, so her body was the main focus of the frame. The robe fell open on her legs so her 'Divine Feminine' tattoo was on full show and over it there was a garter band holding a dagger to her thigh.

'Femme fatale, taken by my favorite girl @breanamcdow xxxx'

He was trying to play it cool, Matt would give him that. But he only held up for two minutes before he excused himself saying, "Erm, I'm gonna go phone Arielle." He pointed behind him in the direction of his room as he stood up, he looked absolutely flustered.

The drummer wanted to laugh, and his other two friends noticed. They asked him what was happening, and he just dismissed them saying it was nothing. Internally he was laughing his ass off, Alex was still so fucked up over Ella—he found it comical.

He couldn't even let it go for the time being until Arielle would come back, because she was staying over at her friend's.

He was cursing as he moved around, locking both doors he'd gone through. It was like a routine by then, but it didn't feel like it. Lately, cumming to Ella's pictures felt more rewarding than fucking his girlfriend and it was killing him inside.

The fact that he couldn't even find pleasure in someone else, someone he should be, haunted him.

It was hard to recall ever being this bent out of shape by someone. He had never been this bewitched by a person he hadn't even gotten to properly kiss. He had loved before but whatever he was feeling now burnt.

He was branded by the thought of her.

When he'd come back, fifteen minutes later, Matt was elated. He knew it, he fucking knew it. The look on Alex's face was almost screaming it out loud for everyone to know.

Matt was intrigued, the question of how many times had he done that popping into the forefront of his brain. And if he wanted to know the answer, it was too many times. So many that Alex had lost count, so many that when he fucked his girlfriend saying her name felt utterly wrong—as if every bit of him belonged to Ella instead of Arielle.

He was frustrated to say the least. In not finding any comfort in the person he was supposed to, and he used to find it in Arielle but that was before he had seen Ella again.

She had come back into his life with a curse. He was sure she unknowingly had put him under a spell.

As the days passed, he had forced himself to try. To try really hard.

Try being the key word.

After New Year's day, when he'd woken up to a text from Ella wishing him a lovely new year and telling him she couldn't wait to have them all back, he had almost folded. Almost. And he was relieved by the fact that he could feel he could hold back a little bit longer, if he focused enough on not being affected by her.

But then as the first week of the year came to an end, and they only had a week left to go back to LA, Ella posted something that completely unleashed him.

She had gotten a new tattoo, a hand tattoo. 'Pure Desire' it read in big cursive letters in the middle of the top of her right hand.

The picture was what had made him let out a rough groan from the deepest pit of his chest.

She had her freshly tattooed hand around Julian's neck, her fingers tight around his throat and the tattoo on perfect focus in the middle of the frame.

'What a pretty little necklace'

Alex absolutely lost himself that night.

When Arielle came back, only twenty minutes later, he kissed her passionately. Arielle had moaned into his mouth filled with joy at the pleasant surprise. She'd dropped her bags on the floor and worked quickly on the buttons of his shirt, leaving his chest on show for her when the fabric dropped next to her purse.

They had moved fast to the bedroom, Alex kissing and bruising every bit of her neck and chest after they got on the bed. Arielle brought his face back up to kiss him fiercely before they could go on further, his hands worked on freeing her from her clothes trying his hardest to not interrupt the kiss, which was barely a proper one as their teeth clashed and their mouths hung open to let out their shaky breaths caused by the friction of their hips rocking against each others'.

Alex worked on automatic pilot, quickly undressing himself and putting a condom on. He grabbed his dick and teased her entrance, Arielle clung to his shoulders with her nails digging on his back while she moaned into his ear. He cursed, as he wasn't able to hold back any longer.

He filled her up completely in one swift motion, Arielle's head thrown back in pleasure as he bottomed out. He used to love seeing her falling apart under him from the very first moment he slid inside of her but now the view wasn't doing much for him. His brain kept asking for one person, one who was an ocean away.

He felt so disappointed that he gave into his thoughts so easily, letting his brain become clouded by the fantasy of it being Ella in his bed. He swore he opened his eyes back up and it was her. Ella, under him, cupping his jaw and begging him to go faster.

And who was he to deny her of anything?

Alex picked up the pace, grabbing one of Ella's thighs to lift her leg over his shoulder, and he felt himself grow harder inside her when a loud whine came out of her mouth.

She sounded so sweet, just like she always had. He left a trail of open mouth kisses from her chin down to the valley of her breasts, he used his tongue to tease her nipples. Sucking bruises around them, softly biting them to make her moan louder.

Ella lifted her hand to his mouth and made him suck her fingers, his saliva slowly dripping down her digits which were then quickly pressed to her clit. She started rubbing it in soft motions but when he brought his own hand up to make her rub harder on it, she started feeling herself nearing over the edge of her orgasm.

He felt her clenching harder as his pace sped up and to the sound of their skin slapping, their curses, their moans, joined the thud of the headboard hitting the wall. He groaned into her ear as he felt himself being milked by the tightness of her walls.

It only took his "Cum for me, darling." for Ella to give into the heavy pleasure and come undone. Her fingers tangled in his hair as her back arched and she trembled under him in a powerful orgasm, he felt himself spilling into the condom—his thrusts faltered and lost rhythm as he came.

He cursed into her ear, "Fucking hell," groaning as he rode out their orgasms. He sighed completely overcome in pleasure, "Ell–," he started but as he opened his eyes and saw Arielle looking completely blissed out under him, he felt himself wanting to be sick. "Arielle," he was quick to change and she giggled.

She fucking giggled under him, way too distracted by the euphoria of her orgasm to even catch his mortified expression.

Arielle opened her eyes, holding his face and pressing multiple kisses to his lips. "I love you," she said, and he felt his heart dropping. He only hummed and stood up.

He didn't feel anything at all when he pulled out of her. Not when he went to the bathroom and discarded the condom. He looked at himself in the mirror and wanted to scream. He could not do this to Arielle any longer, she deserved better than whatever the fuck the situation had turned into.

He grabbed a cloth to clean her up, at least he would be nice to her before letting her go. There was no way he could continue the relationship if he knew his heart was set on someone else. He just couldn't.

He let her cuddle into him, as if he wasn't dying inside from disappointment in himself. She was on cloud nine, that had been the best sex they'd had in a while. She'd thought, what a wonderful way to start the new year.

If she had only known.

The next morning he had felt compelled to make some breakfast, he wanted to let her down easy—as if it had been a one night stand and not a relationship that had gone on for seven months.

She was eating the omelet he'd made, sipping on her coffee happily when he'd turned back from the stove, and he'd looked at her with a frown. It was the second time he'd actually looked at her that whole morning.

"Arielle, I, erm–," he started, not even having the correct words to say what he wanted to say, "I don't think this is working anymore."

She had snorted, waiting for the punchline of his joke but when she was met with absolute silence, her eyes jumped back on him. "What?"

"I, erm, I don't think we should be together anymore."

A loud scoff came from her, what the fuck? "I don't get it..."

He frowned even harder, was there another way to interpret what he had just said? There was no way he couldn't have been clearer.

"I don't think we should keep this relationship going." Alex repeated and he felt so heartless, he could see the more he repeated it, the more her heart was taking a hit.

"Stop," Arielle pleaded. "I fucking get what you said, but why?" She sounded so desperate to find sense in what was happening. It all felt like a fever dream.

He had no clue what to say, "It's me." He plainly added, not wanting to use the cringe phrase that worked oh so perfectly well for the situation.

Arielle let out a humorless laugh, "What the fuck was last night then? Did you know you were doing this? You wanted to get one last fuck out of me?" Her words were poisonous, trying to cause him at least half of the hurt he was causing her.

But despite her pushing to get something out of him, the singer could only let his face fall. "No, I didn't. I–" He felt bad for her, it truly was entirely his fault but if he admitted what was truly happening, he knew Arielle could blame Ella and he couldn't have that happen. Not when Ella hadn't done anything wrong. "I'm so sorry, Arielle. I really am."

She groaned frustrated, the fork dropping on the middle of the plate made him wince, just as the screeching of the chair she was sitting on did.

She'd rushed to get dressed, pack all of her shit up and leave his place. She tried her hardest to do it all quickly but to not forget a thing, she didn't want to see him for a while.

When she was done, about an hour later, Alex was nowhere to be seen.

"Coward." The model muttered as she walked through the door.

When Arielle got outside, leaving the building in which he lived that she planned to never see again, she waited for a taxi she'd called. What she hadn't noticed was Alex walking back to his place, a couple blocks away, seeing her there standing under the gloomy sky.

He felt like such a shitty person, even more so when she dropped her case in the boot of the cab and got into the backseat with a haste. He saw her wiping her cheeks before closing the door. The car drove by and he didn't even look at it, he just walked back home with his gaze on the pavement and a cigarette in between his lips.

When Alex made it through his front door again, it felt like something in the air had changed. He felt free for a change, like his heart could leap in his chest without a trace of guilt.

But later that day, when Breana posted a picture of Julian and Ella to her own page, he felt the sharpness of a needle poke his chest. Seeing them happily dancing under the streetlights had his heart twisting with hurt.

The heartache he got from seeing her happy with somebody else was only stronger now that he was alone.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Oh Alex... He's such an idiot. I hope you enjoyed, I'm really excited to share all that's coming next! Cannot believe we're already in Part 6 though, time goes by too fast. Thank you so much for reading everyone, I still pinch myself when I see people interacting with my stories and you all saying you enjoy them means the absolute world to me. See you soon for the next one xx

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