#seokjn fanfic

[borathae]

”When you find an unconscious man bearing the mark of the Ravens on his chest washed up on the riverbed, you have to choose between your duties as a healer and your instincts as a woman.”

Pairing: Bandit!Seokjin x Healer!Reader

Genre: Fantasy, s2l!AU, Romance, Smut

Warnings: lots of plot, healing from a traumatic past, wounds & mentions of blood, very mild hatred in the beginning, some bickering which later turns into flirting, so much yearning, virgin!Seokjin, subby!Seokjin, soft dom!Reader, nudity, bondage in some sort, she feeds him while he's sick :'), he is very eager to learn, he is also such a cutie :(, lots of kissing, neck kisses, praises, breast massage, the goodest boy!Jinnie, handjob, fingering, mutual masturbation, they are very needy for each other

Wordcount: 22.4k

a/n: Seriously, the more stories I write about this universe, the harder I fall in love with it. Each time I create a little thing or a new animal or some type of food, I am filled with so much joy. I love this world so much! Also, Seokjin really did it to me :( he is such a sweet man in this story, I wanna protect him :( I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I enjoyed working on it 💚

~ Go to Index ~

You woke up with a strange feeling in your stomach.

Today was going to be a cursed day for you.

The feeling in your stomach has never lied to you before nor was it ever wrong.

Oh how you hated its accuracy, because as you rolled out of bed and hit your toe on the corner of your bed, you knew that it was once again right.

It continued at breakfast when the fire turned out to be hotter than on other days and burned the last of your eggs and meat. You had to eat the last two pieces of slightly dried up bread and when you looked into your jug, you had to realise in horror that Kukuruz - your cat - had drunk the last of your milk while you were sleeping.

“Kukuruz”, you had hissed at him, but he was slumbering peacefully on the window sill, “oh you cursed animal, may you wake up with a belly ache.”

Your bad luck continued as you hung up your laundry and dropped one of the pieces in the wet mud. Oh how you had cursed, because now you had to go down to the river to wash it again. And the curse didn’t stop, it continued on your way to town when your dress got stuck on some thorns and ripped at the seam.

“Oh how I truly hate this day!” you screamed at the skies, lifting your fist and waving it around.

Even in town your curse followed you like an unwanted shadow. Not only did the egg merchant sell the last eggs right before your eyes, but you had also forgotten your gold at home. You had to come to the painful realisation when you had to give up the most delicious looking piece of smoked meat because you couldn’t pay for it.

So you left the market just as empty handed as you had entered it, feeling less and less happy about ever setting foot outside your bed.

“I should have just stayed in bed”, you murmur, “my stomach was never wrong before, fatuous woman why did you not listen?” you grumble, almost running into low branches hadn’t you dodged them in the last moment.

You laugh in disbelief, gawking at them with big eyes.

“Truly, I must be cursed today”, you say and decide to be extra careful on your remaining way home. It wasn’t long anymore. Just past that glade and through the tunnel of conifer trees and your little cottage would be in arm’s reach.

It was your mother’s cottage once and her mother’s before that. It was a little outside of town, a tense conifer forest was separating it from it. But the paths were well walked on and the forest safe, except for the occasional boar and the mean tree fairies, which more often than not, loved growing roots in front of people’s feet to make them stumble and fall. One could hear their laughter in the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of branches. But they were harmless otherwise, they just loved playing tricks.

You didn’t encounter any of the little tricksters today. It truly surprised you. Out of all the days, you expected them today the most. They must be busy getting the trees ready for winter. While the tree fairies on foliage trees went to sleep together with their mothers, the tree fairies on conifer trees worked hard during the colder months to help their mothers keep their green dresses. Only now and then one of them found time in their busy day to play a quick trick on some humans, which made the entire forest rustle and croak in laughter if the trick was successful. And somehow it seemed that on such days the forest looked greener the next day, as if the fairies needed a good laugh to find more energy again.

You leave the tense canopy of spruce branches behind you, stepping onto the glade of your cottage. It was a spacious meadow, allowing the sun to shine on the ground and for a variety of plants to grow. The Singing River, which was just a hundred steps down the shallow slope, offered plenty of the clearest water. Your meadow never had to suffer from drought. It was truly a blessing. Especially as a healer, who depended heavily on the health of her many healing plants and herbs.

The air smells different here. Sweet and herbal from all the plants you were growing in the warmer months. The scent lingered even in winter as if it had already become part of the land. Perhaps it liked staying here with you and the warm sun.

“Finally”, you say and quicken your steps. Not long anymore and you are finally in the safety of your own home again. Nothing can go wrong now.

You hurry up the stairs.

Crack.

You stop and take a step back.

A ring. Golden with a silver gemstone in the middle.

“What is that?”

You bend down to pick it up and inspect it. You bite it first. It doesn’t bend under your teeth, which means that it was real.

“Where did this come from?” you murmur, looking left and right to see if you can spot a person.

You can’t. Your glade is empty.

“Huh.”

You look back at the ring. You have seen rings like such before. As the best healer in the Night Queendom you often find yourself in the Queen’s castle. You sometimes see rings like that on Her fingers.

“How did you come here?” you ask it, “did a bird drop you?”

You look up at the sky. There was no bird to spot.

“Or did magic bring you to me?”

But you would have sensed if someone tried to use magic on your land.

“Perhaps you were sent to me by the universe to break my curse?”

You slip it on your finger and then turn.

You will sell it in town and then use the money to buy the delicious smoked meat and another jug of milk.

You return successful from the market. Your basket is filled with the smoked meat and a big jug of milk and even the egg merchant had a small box of eggs back in stock. You bought all them and even treated yourself to a delicious apple. It was the last of the farmer’s successful crop, sweet with a hint of sour in its taste. Exactly how you enjoyed your apples.

The ring must have broken your curse, so you thought as you walked back home with a happy skip in your steps.

“Good morning, Kukuruz”, you greet your cat, who had woken by now and is now circling your legs as you hurry through the cottage, “have you eaten yet?”

Mreow.

“No?” you bend down and pick him up.

Kukuruz rests gladly in your arm, watching you unload your basket. His tiny legs are pulled to his body, his soft tummy is exposed and his long tail is wiggling left and right contently.

“I know you drank my milk last night.”

Mreow.

“No no, don’t blame this on the fairies. This was your doing. I found your fur on the jug.”

Meow.

“As I thought. But worry not Kukuruz, I forgive you. The most peculiar thing happened to me. I found a golden ring on our porch and you won’t believe how much it was worth.”

You pull two big bags of gold free.

“Look! This will last us till summer!” you exclaim excitedly, "and I can still save some for the bathing tub!"

But Kukuruz seemed more interested in the smoked meat, beginning to wiggle in your arms.

“By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat”, you murmur, setting him down, “go to your bowl, I will cut some meat for you.”

The black cat struts off with a certain bounce in his steps. He sits down in front of his bowl and meows loudly, watching you with his tail moving back and forth on the floor and his emerald eyes widened in curiosity.

You cut a piece for yourself, nibbling on it as you fill his bowl with food.

“There we go”, you tell him and pet his head, “enjoy.”

Kukuruz thanks you with a purr and begins eating deliciously.

“Very well”, you stand up, “I am outside, getting the laundry and then some water from the river. Don’t you dare stick your head into my milk or else I will turn you into a bug.”

Mreow.

"I heard that."

With your basket resting on your left hip, you hurry outside and down the three steps which separate your porch from the grass. Your clothesline was located right next to your cottage. On the wooden posts rambler roses were climbing into the skies and behind the line, a spacious bed of different mints was located. The mints liked the climate there. Slight shade and enough space to spread. It always smelled nicely here. That is why you decided to put your clothing line on this spot of land. You believe that the scent of mint will soak your fabrics and make them smell nicer for longer.

You stop and gawk at your clothing line.

“By Frenya”, you murmur.

Your clothes are gone. Except for two dresses and one kitchen towel, the clothing lines are empty.

“Thieves!” you yell, twisting and turning with your eyes burning in anger, “who took my clothes?!”

Oh you are furious! This is outrageous! Who dared to come to your cottage only to steal your clothes? Oh, if you would catch them, they would flee in fear.

“May the Morguls eat your toes while you are sleeping!” you scream, hoping they can hear you.

Now, the clothes weren’t your favourites, thank Frenya. But there were useful and sturdy and they kept your legs warm in the colder months. You rip your remaining clothes from the lines and throw them into your basket.

“Truly, I don’t wish bad on people, but oh may they find snails in their food”, you murmur, punching the small heap of clothes, “this day is cursed! I hate this!”

With your face contorted in a frown, you stomp back to your cottage. You basically kick in your door, startling Kukuruz, who has caught some sun rays on the windowsill just before.

“You won’t believe what happened to me!” you tell him loudly and drop the basket on the floor, “someone took my clothes! I am cursed, truly cursed.”

The black cat tilts his head to the side and licks over his nose.

“I know Kukuruz, that is what I said too. May the Morguls eat their toes”, you growl and huff out air.

You cross your arms in front of your chest and sit down on your wooden stool.

“How could this happen? Why would someone come here just to steal from me?” you ask no one in particular.

Kukuruz struts to the kitchen counter and sits down in front of the two bags of gold.

Mreow.

You look at him and the gold.

“You are a genius!” you exclaim, “they must have been the one putting the ring on my porch!”

Mreow.

“I know, it is peculiar. Why would they take my clothes only to then leave something so expensive behind?”

Mreow.

“You truly think so? You think that they paid for the clothes with the ring?”

Kukuruz stands up and struts back to the window sill. He lies down, rolling himself into a tiny ball of black fur.

Mreow.

“Truly, you are a genius Kukuruz. They must have been travellers, who were dressed too coldly and when they realised that I wasn’t home to offer them a pair of pants, they took them from my clothing line and paid with their ring.”

Mreow.

“Oh Kukuruz you helped me feel better, truly. What would I do without you?”

Mreow.

You laugh, “oh now you are just being cocky”, you say in a fond chuckle and stand up. You grab your bucket, “I will be by the river fetching water.”

The Singing River is calm where you live. It is just two valleys and a forest away from where it starts in the Snowy Mountains. It hasn’t reached its true width and anger yet. The riverbeds were around five big steps apart and the water was clear and calm, reaching you just below you ribs. It was freezing in the colder months but was warm enough to bathe comfortably in, during the warmer months. It also offered many different kinds of wildlife to eat and even more different kinds of plants to use for potions.

You made your own little crook in the riverbed. You had dug out the earth so the water would reach you in a gentle slope and you could enter the river comfortably. You use it to wash your clothes and fetch water and also for bathing.

You slow down your steps.

It looks different today. Someone is resting on it. He seems to be sleeping in the sun.

You squint your eyes.

“Huh”, you gasp, widening your eyes and quickening your steps.

He wasn’t sleeping! His clothes were clearly soaked in water and his left leg was leaking blood. It had formed a little puddle by now.

“Good Sir!” you call out, “good Sir, are you alright?”

The man doesn’t answer you, he doesn’t even move.

You drop your bucket and squat down beside him. His hair was as black as the feathers of ravens and his face was pale in cold, his lips blue and purple.

“Oh dear, oh dear”, you touch the side of his neck.

His skin was icy. His pulse was barely there.

“What happened to you?” you murmur, turning your attention to the wound on his leg.

Teeth must have dug themselves into his flesh. His black pants were ripped where the animal bit him, showing torn skin and muscle.

“Oh that is a truly nasty wound you have here”, you murmur.

You rip a piece of your dress off. The thorns had already ruined it either way. You bind his thigh right above the wound tightly enough to stop the bleeding.

The man hisses in his unconsciousness and moves his head.

“I must get you out of this cold”, you decide and sneak a glance at your cottage, “oh this is going to be a long way.”

You grab the man under his armpits tightly and begin dragging him up the hill.

“You are so heavy, by Frenya”, you grunt, “couldn’t the river have washed up someone less muscular?”

At one point you accidentally dropped the poor man, making him groan. You picked him up in an instant and apologized quietly.

“If you would only work with me a little.”

Dragging him up your stairs was the part most difficult. You didn’t want to hurt him and yet with every step, you dragged his limp legs up the pumpy stairs, the man let out a quiet hiss of discomfort.

“Forgive me, oh forgive me”, you murmured each time, flinching with him.

The truest struggle of them all however, was when you tried to lift him on top of your bed. 

You had two beds in your cottage. One for your patients and one in the backroom for you to sleep in. The bed for your patients wasn’t quite as high as your private bed, but despite that advantage, lifting his heavy body was no easy task.

You feel out of breath once you had managed to lift him, finding support on the foot end of the bed by leaning against it.

“Truly”, you huff out air, “you are one heavy fella.”

You take one last deep breath, then clap into your hand.

“Now, enough whining. Let’s get you out of your clothes.”

You have undressed countless people in your long career as a healer. Women, men, children, even non human creatures. They were all just living beings to you, needing your help and care. You saw nothing peculiar in it and they saw nothing peculiar in being undressed.

Today however undressing your patient turns out to be more than peculiar. You started with his pants, working slowly and beyond carefully in order not to hurt his wound. The ruined pants you threw into a bucket. You will dry them and stitch them back up later. It wasn’t peculiar until then, it started when you began taking off his upper body clothing. The ripped fur slipped off his shoulders easily, soaking your floors once you had discarded it. His black tunic opened easily.

“By Frenya!” you exclaim.

That was the moment the peculiar started.

A black raven tattoo was burned into his chest. He was one of them. A Raven of the Black Forest, the group of men who had sworn to kill every woman they come across. Your aunt fell victim to them and two girls from your village as well. All three of them were mutilated and abused by those gruesome men.

You swore to never help such monsters and that if you ever had the chance to annihilate every single one of them, you would take it. And now one of them is resting in your bed, unconscious, wounded and unable to fight back.

You act quickly. You run to your dresser and grab the knife, which you usually use for collecting plants and branches. You have it pressed against the man’s throat within seconds, twisting his hair between your fingers.

“I will kill you monster”, you spit, tilting his head up. It makes the blade glide over his skin, forcing it to break at one spot and leak one droplet of blood.

The man groans at the feeling, opening and closing his lips.

You falter.

The sound was filled with pain. The kind of pain you have heard from so many of your patients. It was a sound a person would make. It was a human sound.

You loosen the grip around his hair.

The monster made a human sound.

You study his features. Pale and relaxed. He had a forehead like everyone else, he had a nose like everyone else, he had eyes like everyone else, a mouth and cheeks and brows as well. He looked like a human.

Your fingers slip from his hair.

“What am I doing here?” you ask yourself, “I consider killing a living creature when I swore to heal them. Have I lost my mind?”

The knife slips from your fingers, landing on the floor with a dull sound. It landed directly on the person’s fur, which muffled the otherwise shrill sound.

“By Frenya, I almost killed a person”, you murmur, touching your own cheeks, “I, I must remember my duties. I am no killer, I am a healer. I save people, not end their life. If he turns out to be a monster I can still kill him. Yes? I won’t regret this, will I?”

You sleep restlessly that night, waking with every little sound the earth makes and thinking that it was the stranger coming to kill you. You know it was impossible as you made sure that even if he woke when you were asleep, he wouldn’t be able to hurt you.

You had to tie down countless people in your time as a healer. People tend to wiggle quite a great deal when they are being operated on, so one needs to know strong and secure knots in order to hold them down and minimise the chances of hurting them accidentally.

But despite that security, you wake up with heavy eyes and weak limbs the next morning. The sun was already shining and by your feet Kukuruz was licking your big toe.

“Good morning”, you greet him with your voice hoarse in exhaustion.

Mreow.

“I’m glad you did, I slept terribly”, you say and yawn, “the stranger kept me awake.”

Mreow.

You smile tiredly, “that makes me feel better. Thank you for taking watch.”

Mreow.

“Tzt. You ruined it again. Fine, I am already getting up to prepare your breakfast. By Frenya, you are such a gluttonous cat.”

Kukuruz follows you, circling your legs and rubbing his head against your calves every now and then with a deep purr vibrating in his chest.

You sneak a glance at the stranger as you pass by him. He was still sleeping, having turned his head to the other side. His lips are parted, they don’t seem so blue anymore. As a matter of fact, they have gained a pinkish glow to them.

His skin also feels warm to the touch when you check and his pulse has sped up considerably from last night.

These are all good signs. It means that your treatment helped.

“Stay, I’ll be back with medicine after making breakfast for my greedy cat”, you tell him, poking his cheek rather harshly.

It makes him roll his head to the other side and then sigh in his sleep.

Once Kukuruz was taken care of and you have prepared your own breakfast, you return to your patient. He was still sleeping, resting in the same position you left him in.

You sit down on the chair and relax back, biting into your bread with smoked meat and egg.

“You know, you are lucky that I am such a good-hearted person”, you tell him with your mouth stuffed, “other people would have left you by the riverbed.”

The man shows no signs that he heard you, sleeping soundly.

You take a sip of your warm milk and take another bite of your food afterwards.

“I wonder what happened to you. Did you fight Woltron?”

You slurp loudly and swallow the contents of your mouth happily.

“Doesn’t matter”, you say and relax with a content sigh, “I have my breakfast and that is all that matters.”

He shifts then.

You freeze up in an instant, staring at him without chewing your food.

"What are you doing? Don’t move", you tell him.

He shifts again, groaning softly.

“Oh dear, are you waking up?” you ask him.

He rolls his head into a position so that it would rest on the back of it.

You reach for the knife hastily, pointing it at the stranger with shaking hands.

His eyes open slowly, blinking heavily to get used to the light.

“Mhm”, he lets out and closes them again. He tries to roll to his side afterwards, but the ropes holding his arms down prevent it from happening.

He opens his eyes quickly, lifting his head.

“What the?” he presses out and tugs on the ropes, “what in heaven's name is going on here?”

His eyes land on you.

“Who are you?” he asks, eyes flitting to the knife, “did you tie me up?”

“Don’t move!” you warn him, waving the knife around.

He dodges it skilfully, “what are you doing?”

“You, you, y-you are a Raven, aren’t you?” you ask him, extending your arm.

He eyes the knife before he snorts.

“What are you trying to do here? Cut me open? What that grip?”

You look at the way your fingers grasp the knife. It looks slightly clumsy.

“Excuse me?” you drop your arm, “I am very capable of holding a knife.”

“Of course”, he says and begins tugging on the ropes again.

You lift the knife again, hating your arm for shaking so much.

“Don’t move.”

“Well, can you untie me first? Or tell me your name and why you have me tied up in the first place?”

“I found you by the riverbed. You were unconscious and your left leg was chewed on, so I dragged you here and took care of your wound.”

He looks down at his covered legs and scoffs.

“Fuck”, he lets out, dropping his head into the pillows, “I remember falling into the river after being ambushed by a wolf.”

“Yes, Woltron. He doesn’t like Ravens.”

“It wasn’t Woltron, it was a normal wolf. Small, agile and way too fast to escape from”, he says and tugs on the ropes again.

It makes you grip your knife tighter and lift it again. He eyes it.

“What? Are you truly planning on killing me after saving me? Why go through all the trouble then?”

“You, y-you don’t know me. P-perhaps I am a dangerous witch, w-who likes eating men alive.”

He blinks rapidly before breaking into laughter.

“Don’t laugh”, you hiss.

He laughs louder, it sounds way more high-pitched than you had imagined it would, perhaps even a little squeaky.

“Oh forgive me”, he says and laughs, “but you are no witch, you are fooling no one here.”

“Tzt”, you click your tongue, “you are rude.”

“I am not the one who tied you up.”

“Well, accept it”, you say and cross your arms in front of your chest, “this is to make sure you don’t escape before your wound is healed.”

“Of course and it is not because you are scared of me.”

“You-“ you lift the knife again, pressing the tip into his cheek, “-I will poke you in the eye if you keep up this attitude.”

He eyes the knife before looking at your face. He scoffs in amusement.

“I am already quiet”, he says and chuckles.

“Tzt”, you click your tongue, pulling the knife away and discarding it on the dresser. Then you continue eating your bread, sending dark looks the stranger’s way.

He seems mesmerised by the food, gawking at it with his tongue licking over his lips repeatedly.

“What?” you challenge him.

“Give me some”, he orders.

“That?” you show him the food, guiding it to his lips.

He lifts his head, opening his mouth in preparation.

“Why should I?” you say, pulling the food away again, “I don’t want to share with murderers.”

He grunts, closing his mouth to frown instead.

“So why safe me? Just to torture me with starvation and your terrible knife skills?”

“Ha!” you exclaim and laugh.

“Stop laughing and give me food”, he spits.

“And why should I?”

“Because I haven’t eaten in days and it hurts.”

You give him an icy glare. Keeping your patients alive is one of your duties and that means cooking meals for them and making sure they are well fed and hydrated. Oh, how you are cursing the oath you swore.

“By Frenya, I should have never rescued you”, you murmur, standing up from your chair groggily, “what do you want?”

“Just anything.”

You prepare a hearty porridge for him, adding some of the smoked meat and an onion from your garden in it. Kukuruz watched you as you cooked, but didn’t move as the sunrays hit his back most perfectly in his resting position.

You also prepare a jug of water for him as he must be terribly parched.

You bring the meal to him on a wooden tray, carrying tubes of medicine as well. 

He had been resting his eyes, but opened them when he heard you come back. Now he is watching you, eyes glued to the tray in your hands.

“What did you get? Is it good? Can I have some?” he stresses, tugging at the ropes in an attempt to sit up.

“By Frenya, you are just as gluttonous as my cat”, you murmur, setting the tray down on the chair.

He eyes it hungrily, mouth watering to the point that he has to gulp.

“Here, open up”, you say, guiding the filled spoon to his lips.

He opens his mouth gladly, almost swallowing the entire spoon just from how greedily he eats. You watch him with your nose scrunched up in disgust. Of course, a Raven has no table manners whatsoever. You didn’t expect anything else.

He chews and hums, nodding his head.

“Very good”, he says, opening his mouth afterwards so you could feed him more.

You do so not because you want to, but because it was your duty to do so.

“How did you get into this situation in the first place? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to be great fighters?”

He shrugs his shoulders, waiting for a new bite with his eyes glued to the spoon. It is remarkable how happily he allows you to feed him.

"Well then I'm not surprised that a simple wolf won over you", you murmur, basking in the dark look he sends your way. It is a small victory in your fight against the Ravens. To see one look offended by you feels great. 

The stranger swallows his food and speaks. 

"It only won because I was weakened by running for long." 

"So you were running. Where to? Where from?"

The stranger merely takes a bite and eats with his dark eyes glued to your equally dark eyes.

"I bet you were out hurting innocent women and girls." 

"I wasn’t. I ran from.." he hesitates, then shakes his head, "...give me more food and maybe then I'll talk."

“By Frenya, you truly are like my cat.”

The stranger closes his lips around the spoon and slurps up the porridge hungrily. He chews it and swallows, opening his mouth again. And so you feed him another bite, making sure that you don’t drip any of it on his chest. That would surely burn and wouldn’t make a good impression of you as a healer.

“So where are you coming from? The Black Forest? Did a monster chase you?”

He shakes his head.

“Truly? Aren’t you Ravens supposed to live in it?”

He swallows the food down.

“And that means that we can’t find ourselves in other places as well?”

“I never stated this”, you say, muffling him by sticking another spoonful of porridge into his mouth.

He makes a sound of surprise, sending you a furious glare. It leaves you unaffected. You may not be able to kill him, but that doesn’t mean that you will be gentle with the way you are feeding him.

You are gentle when you feed him the water, solely for the reason that you do not want to change his sheets in case you spilled some of the liquid. He drinks it greedily, doing so with his eyes closed and his brows furrowed.

“You must be careful, you will choke. Careful”, you warn him, supporting his head.

He grunts, swallowing greedily. He swallows and swallows until suddenly he gasps and coughs.

“See?” you say, hitting his upper back to help him, “I told you that your greed will be your downfall.”

He sends you a glare, one return all too willingly. He coughs one last time then parts his lips again, eyeing the cup greedily. You place it against his lips, watching him drink the water with your fingers buried deep in his hair.

The stranger finishes the entire cup, allowing you to lay his head down on the pillow once done. He watches you carry the dirty dishes to your work counter.

"Are you finally ready to answer my question?" you ask him, standing by the counter.

"Are you finally ready to untie my arms?" 

"No."

"Then I'm not ready either." 

"Tch."

You turn, walking back to the bed. You sit down on the chair, letting your eyes run up and down his body for long enough that the stranger shifts uncomfortably.

“What are you going to do to me now?” he asks, trying and failing to hide the nervousness in his voice.

“I have to take a look at your wound. It is most crucial that I do.”

“And I have to be tied down for that?”

You reach for the tray of medicine and scoot closer, keeping your eyes locked on him.

“Yes”, you state matter-of-factly.

The stranger scoffs.

“So I can’t flee when you poison me?”

“Oh by Frenya, you said so yourself. Why go through the effort of saving you just to end up killing you?”

The stranger swallows what he had wanted to say, clicking his tongue in distaste. You send him a triumphant grin, then reach for the blanket. You pull it off his legs halfway, making sure that his precious parts are covered.

“You undressed me?” he gasps.

“Yes, your clothes were wet and had many holes. Besides, I had to get to your wound.”

“How dare you? I gave you no permission to do such things.”

“Oh forgive me that I couldn’t get my answer when you were knocked out cold.”

“Tzt.”

“But worry not, you are not the first I see. It is actually quite common to see people in their bared state in my field of work.”

“Who are you?”

“I am me”, you tease, sending him an amused grin.

He rolls his eyes but gasps when he feels your fingers on his thigh.

"Careful.”

“Worry not, I am very careful”, you tell him, inspecting the stitches, “you got lucky you were unconscious last night. Your wound is pretty deep, so I had to stitch it up.”

“Yes, the wolf bit me quite deep.”

“It did. It even got a little chunk of you. That must have been a good treat for him”, you joke and to your surprise he actually chuckles.

You and him exchange a quick look before you return to cleaning the stitches. That felt awkward. You never intended to make a Raven laugh. 

“I fixed it for you. You got lucky you fell into the river. The cold water helped the blood vessels close up. I just had to clean it and stitch it back up.”

You wring out the cloth and press it against his skin, cleaning it off most tentatively.

“How do you know so much?” he asks.

“I’m a healer.”

“I have never met a healer before, at least not a woman.”

“Truly? You have met male healers?” you have to chuckle, “this is most remarkable, given how people don’t trust men to be able to handle such an important profession.”

“Well, this is nothing but sexism. We can be great healers too.”

“Now, now I never said that I believe in what the people say. I am sure you men have the talent for it.”

“Yes, we do. We have many talents and potential.”

“Of course, I believe you.”

“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, furrowing his brows.

“Please don’t think I did. I was being truthful”, you give him a smile, “my cousin works as a healer in the Nourishing Fields. He is a very talented healer.”

“Oh”, the stranger says and relaxes his features. Not for long as a sharp burn runs through his leg a second later. He groans and frowns.

“I know it burns”, you tell him, watching him tense up, “but it is supposed to feel that way. It is the magic which has this effect. It is quite the effective healing potion.”

“So you are a witch?”

“In a way I am, but I am most definitely not the type of witch you Ravens believe women to be.”

“Tzt.”

You give him a grin, then turn your attention to the healing potion. It was green in colour, gaining an emerald glow once you spread it on the wound. The stranger gasps and tenses his thigh.

“Are you sure that this is safe?”

“Yes of course it is. Trust me, I am very skilled in potion making.”

“Why aren’t you using your magic to heal me? Why use potions?”

“Well, you see. My magic works differently. I can use it to detect wounds and illnesses and I can infuse my potions with it, but it doesn’t really work with mending torn flesh or fixing broken bones. I can help nature, but I sadly can’t bend it.”

“But there are healers who can do such things, I have seen it be done.”

“Yes, of course there are such healers. The Menders, but they are quite the show-offs if you asked me”, you say, giving him a small smile.

He chuckles again. It is a nice chuckle. As much as it pains you to admit it, it is a nice chuckle.

“Yes, I know. We have a Mender in our circles and he is such a show-off", he says.

You laugh, “I see we are sharing a common nuisance.”

“Yes, we do.”

You exchange a smile. It was honest on both sides. 

“I’m ___”, you tell him.

“My name is Seokjin”, he answers you.

“Nice to meet you Seokjin. You are actually quite decent for a Raven.”

“Thank you. You are quite decent for a woman too", he jokes.

He makes you chuckle.

“Now lift your leg, I have to wrap it up so the potion doesn’t rub off.”

He follows and watches you work. You tighten the white bandages with a skilled knot, smoothing over his thigh once done.

“How is that? Is it too tight?”

“No, it feels comfortable.”

“Well then, relax. Your clothes should be dried by now”, you tell him and stand up to leave.

Your cottage is surprisingly spacious. You have your work room in the front. It is the room you come in first when you enter. It houses a patient bed, shelves for your many books and potions, a working table and your kitchen, which has a wonderful view out on the meadow and the Singing River. To the left are your living quarters. One room, which houses your bed and more shelves for more of your books. It also houses a big fireplace, which is currently crackling and warming the cottage. It also dries the Raven Seokjin’s clothes and one of your tunics, which you will use later for sleeping. Your buttery was just left of the fireplace through a wooden door. To the right, just past the fireplace a doorway leads to a small washing room. It was not big and most definitely not luxurious, but it housed a washing bowl and a toilet seat. Which was most convenient in winter as you didn’t have to leave the warmth of your cottage to do your business. You are also currently saving up for a bathtub. You dreamt of having one after visiting the Queen to sell Her some of your sleep inducing bathing oils. You snuck a glimpse at her bathing tub then and decided to save up for your own. It will still take some time, but you are patient.

“You are lucky. Your clothes have dried over night”, you tell Seokjin as you return.

He lifts his head, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I stitched the holes in them, so you don’t have to worry about feeling the wind on your skin.”

You place the clothes on top of his stomach. He eyes them.

“Tell me, how should I put them on when my hands are still tied?” he asks, lifting them as high as the ropes allow him to.

“Oh yes, I completely forgot.”

Once your knife was grabbed, you loosen the knots, taking a cautious step back and pointing the knife at him. He eyes it and scoffs in amusement.

“I see that I am still at knife point here.”

“I’m just making sure. I don’t let a pretty face and comfortable conversation trick me.”

“Yes indeed, I am quite handsome”, he agrees and sits up.

You try not to laugh, but the corners of your mouth still curl upwards. He isn’t lying. He is very handsome. His torso carried strength and muscles, his shoulders were broad and perfectly defined. His legs were long and perfectly proportionate to the rest of his body. You also think that his thighs look very tempting, especially in those tight linen pants of his'. He pulls the tunic over his head, messing up his raven hair. It was longer in the back, framing his face in a way that draws your eyes to it. He had a handsome face. His eyes were dark in colour and fit perfectly on his head, his nose was straight, guiding your eyes down to his lips. Plumb and pink, they were chapped from the winter winds, but looked better than last night after you put some moisturizing oils on them.

“So why are you here?” you ask him, watching him fix how the shirt sits on his torso.

“I escaped the Queen’s castle.”

“What?” you gasp. He is a fugitive. You are housing a criminal. Quick. You need to act quick. You grab your knife harder and point it at him.

“Not that bad grip again”, he says, sounding amusedly exhausted.

“Hands behind your back!” you tell him loudly, “I shall bring you back to Her, criminal!”

Seokjin lifts his hands and smiles.

“I am no criminal, I did what had to be done.”

Everything falls into place now.

“You killed the Queen?” you squeak out, “that is why you ran? Because you killed Her?”

“What?” he laughs loudly, throwing his head back.

“Don’t laugh, murderer”, you hiss, stepping closer to poke his stomach with the knife.

But Seokjin is quicker, grabbing your wrists and using your strength against you. He makes you drop the knife and twirls you.

“Eek”, you squeak, falling.

He catches you before you can fall on your butt, now having your body cradled in his arms and tilted back slightly.

“I told you”, he whispers, letting his breath swirls over your lips, “you have terrible knife skills.”

By Frenya, your heart fluttered.

“And just so you know, I didn’t kill the Queen. I escaped because I didn’t want to live under yet another ruler”, he says, letting his eyes flit to your lips for just a second.

“Well I”, you feel your heart flutter again and your eyes flit to his lips as well. By Frenya, they look so tempting up-close. Pink and so incredibly pillowy.

Seokjin tilts his head, moving closer.

“I hah”, you let out, turning your head away, “let go of me.”

Seokjin sighs in disappointment and helps you straighten up. He steps back, but not after allowing his hand to linger on your lower back for just a second too long.

You fix your collar, clearing your throat.

“You!”  you exclaim, scurrying to retrieve the knife. "You!", you point the knife at him, “you rascal! How dare you!” you call out dramatically, trying to cover up just how flustered he has gotten you.

Seokjin snickers, lifting his arms above his head.

“You are funny”, he says, earning himself a slight poke into the chest.

“You are such rude man. You will sit on the bed now and behave”, you warn, poking him again.

“Ah okay, okay I am already sitting”, he says, “dear heavens, the woman really poked me with a knife”, he mumbles to himself, rubbing the spot you touched.

Seokjin studies your figure.

“And now?” he asks, sitting on the bed dressed and with his eyes fixated on the knife.

“Now I want you to put your hands on your lap.”

He follows. You inch closer to him, pressing the knife against his throat once close enough.

“Don’t move or else I’ll cut you”, you warn.

He smirks, “I won’t move.”

“Good”, you say, squatting down in front of him.

You place the knife on your lap and snatch some spare ropes, wrapping them around his wrists quickly. You know the knots by memory, so working quickly doesn’t mean that you don’t work diligently. Just seconds later, his wrists are bound in a way that allows them no movement. You pick up your knife again, locking eyes with him.

“So now I’m your prisoner?”

“Yes, until I figure out what to do with you.”

“What if I have to go to the loo?”

“Then you can be creative. I’m sure you have lots of practice in holding your cock.”

He laughs, “and why should I?”

“Because I know you Ravens don’t have women. How else should you find your release?”

“We”, he blinks in confusion, “touching ourselves is forbidden. It lets the demons inside.”

“By Frenya”, you murmur, “Rafkan is one crazy fella, isn’t he?”

Seokjin furrows his brows, “well, it doesn’t?”

“Of course not”, you say and chuckle, “hell, if you asked me, it actually helps with your demons. You know? One stressful day, a quick”, you mimic jerking off, “and you are good to go again.”

His face is ruby instantly, the colour even spreads to his ears.

“No!” he exclaims, widening his eyes, “no, I would never”, he insists, having to lower his head in coyness.

It is quite adorable how easily he flustered. You chuckle and stand up, giving his head a soft pat.

“Either way, you should rest some more, the cold gave your body quite the hard time. It is best if you sleep it off before a fever takes hold of you.”

“What will you do?”

“I have patients to care for, worry not I will still keep an eye on you”, you say and just seconds later a knock on your door lets you know that your first patient had just arrived.

It has been a week since you found Seokjin washed up by the riverbed. He is still with you, having gained the privilege of free limbs under the condition that he will help you keep the cottage clean. He accepted because his leg still needed to heal and he also didn’t want to stay in the cold outside. So he agreed on being your servant for the time being, preparing food when you are busy and keeping the work counters clean for your next patient.

He is actually quite the remarkable servant. Hardworking too. And most definitely handsome. Oh dear, here you are again staring at his face when he doesn’t notice. You break your eyes away from him, looking at the books you had read through before.

“Seokjin”, you call his attention.

“Yes?” he asks, limping to you.

“Would you mind bringing me the bottles of ghostworth please?”

“Ghostworth? How do they look?”

“The translucent ones. Worry not, it’s labelled.”

You hear him limb to your herbs cabinet and come to a standstill. Silence. More silence. Even more silence.

You turn to check on him. He is looking at the cabinet, fumbling with the bottles while mumbling something to himself.

“Seokjin?”

“I almost got it”, he says and whispers to himself again, squinting his eyes.

You stand up and close the distance between you and him.

“I got it”, he says, moving closer to the shelf.

“It’s here”, you say, pointing at the bottle at which he is staring, “ghostworth, it reads right there.”

“Yes! Exactly”, he takes out of the shelf, “I was just about to grab it.”

He hands it to you with his ears and cheeks burning up. Oh this is peculiar. You ought to investigate.

“Seokjin, what does this bottle read?” you ask him, pointing at the random bottle on the shelf.

He looks at it, squinting his eyes. Panic washes over his features.

“Basil”, he says.

“Mint”, you answer him, furrowing your brows.

He seems disappointed, sagging his shoulders.

“You can’t read, can you?”

With his eyes lowers he turns to you, shaking his head.

“Oh dear, oh dear.”

“Don’t mock me”, he hisses, feeling embarrassed.

“I’m not”, you assure him then give him a smile, “do you want me to teach you?”

“You would do that?”

“Yes of course, come follow me. I will teach you.”

Seokjin follows gladly, sitting down next to you with a quill and some paper ready. Oh, his eyes sparkle oh so much, his cheeks are glowing oh so much. You find it almost adorable just how eager he seems to learn the art of interpreting letters.

And so you spent the rest of your day teaching Seokjin the letters of your language, explaining to him how he can put them on paper and how to form them into words. Seokjin works diligently, scribbling the messiest letters at first before gaining great perfection in them. By the end of the day, he can even write his own name. He is currently trying to write down yours, sitting next to you at the work table.

“Look ___”, he calls your attention away from the medicine you were working on.

You turn and look at the letter covered sheet of paper. He points at your name he wrote in squiggly letters.

“This is your name.”

“Indeed it is.”

“Do you think it looks good?”

“Yes, indeed. You have a great talent for connecting the letters”, you say, making him beam in pride, “practice some more and you will be fluent in no time.”

“I will. I will practice all night”, he says excitedly and turns to his task again. With his tongue sticking out at the corner of his mouth and his brows furrowed, he practices his letters while you prepare the medicine and later cook dinner. Even during dinner he has one eye on the letters constantly, reading them over and over so he wouldn’t forget them again.

"Do you enjoy this?" you ask him over the brim of your soup bowl. 

"I do", he says, nodding his head vigorously, "I can't believe how easy this is." 

You study his features.

"Can I ask. Can none of you read?" 

"None of us?" 

"Ravens. Do you never learn how to read?" 

Seokjin shakes his head, "only Rafkan knows how to read. He says that it was a burden from his past and that he doesn’t want us to succumb to the horrors reading brings."

"Well, that sounds like horseshit", you scowl in distaste, "no wonder he is able to fill your heads with such lies when you poor boys can’t even read the real history of this queendom." 

Seokjin lets out a breathy laugh, blinking his eyes in disbelief.

"I don't", he begins, but doesn’t find the right words to continue.

You sense his discomfort and give him a reassuring smile. 

"You should eat the soup and practice more. I promise that you will find no horrors because of reading." 

Seokjin nods his head, looking back into his papers. 

"I want to read", he whispers more to himself than to you, "I really want to read." 

It is deep into the night and you have just returned from the washing room. Seokjin’s sleeping place by the fireplace is still empty. By this time he would already be under his blanket with his head resting on his many pillows and Kukuruz slumbering by his head. Tonight however, only Kukuruz was occupying the fur. 

“Seokjin?” you call out.

He should be here by now, slumbering peacefully.

“Are you still practicing?” you ask, entering your work room just to realise that Seokjin had fallen asleep by the desk. His cheek is squished against the surface, his lips are parted in calm breaths, the quill is still between his fingers.

You smile.

“Seokjin dear, wake up”, you tell him, shaking him softly.

He wakes with a gasp, flinching harshly. His head snaps up, revealing his ink covered cheek. He blinks his eyes at you sleepily.

“You shouldn’t sleep here, it will hurt your back. Come to bed.”

“I fell asleep”, he murmurs, letting you pull him to his feet in his sleep-drunken state. He stumbles after you, barely keeping his head up right.

“I know, it’s from all the practicing you've been doing. Now lie down, get comfortable.”

Seokjin allows you to tug him in and fluff up his pillow so his head would be comfortable. You reach out and wipe the ink of his cheek. It makes him blink at you sleepily and for his lips to curl into a tiny, almost content, smile.

“Sleep now”, you tell him softly.

“Thank you ___, I always wanted to be able to read”, he whispers, eyes reflecting the sparkles of the fire.

“And I’m sure you will be great at it in a few days.”

"Thank you so much…"

Seokjin closes his eyes and smiles. He falls asleep that way. Smiling.  

Seokjin practices diligently the next day. You give him one of your easier books so he could copy words out of it and by the time the sun had passed its zenith, he already knew how to read a small passage of text. Now, you believe that he merely remembered the sounds of it after hours and hours of practice, but it was still impressive.

“___ please listen to that”, he calls your attention.

You have just said goodbye to a patient, now turning around to look at him.

“I am listening.”

Seokjin takes a deep breath.

“The mulberry fruit is sim…iliar in length and in…width than a thumb”, he speaks slowly, creasing his forehead in concentration. Then he lifts his head, looking at you with widened eyes, “I read that.”

“I heard”, you have to smile at him for you found him beyond adorable, “that was very good. You are a diligent student.”

He begins blushing, “thank you”, he says, barely containing his excitement, but managing to by hiding his mouth behind his hand.

The moment would have continued to be beautiful, hadn’t the door sprung open loudly and startled the both of you.

“Healer ___! Oh healer! Please, I am begging you, we need you!” a man, you know his name to be Yorm, screams.

His wife, Yelana was her name, was beside him. Her dress was covered in blood.

“What happened?” you are on high alert instantly, looking at their little daughter lying unconscious in her father’s arm.

“The Ravens! It was the Ravens! They ambushed our little Yela when she was playing in the forest! She is barely breathing and bleeding! Bleeding out of her stomach!”

“Put her down. Quick, be careful. Seokjin make space. We need the space.”

Seokjin stumbles to the side, clutching his little book while watching in horror as the crying parents have to lie down their little daughter. The blood has soaked through her dress, spilled all over her father’s tunic. She is barely breathing, looking to be in great pain.

You work quickly, diligently, carefully. Her dress you open, revealing the clashing wound on the side of her stomach. Seokjin feels disgusted. Not by the wound or the blood. But by who did this. The Ravens. His people hurt that little girl.

“How did this happen?” he asks the mother.

“Oh I don’t know”, she wails, “she was playing. She was merely playing. Why, oh why would they hurt my little girl? Why? She has done nothing wrong! She is just a little girl! Just a girl!”

“I’m so sorry”, he croaks, feeling his heart break when the mother begins crying miserably. She falls into her husband’s arms, who joins her painful wailing seconds later.

His people hurt that little girl.

Seokjin stares at her.

They hurt a little girl.

A child.

An innocent person.

“Seokjin!” your harsh voice rips him out of his painful trance.

“Y-yes?”

“Bring me the blood stopping potion. The one in the red bottle! Quick!”

Seokjin runs fast. He runs as fast as he can, fighting against his tears because of what his people did. He almost drops it as he hands it to you, apologizing for his clumsiness with a shaky voice.

“Bandages. Quick”, you however just bark your next order, already applying the potion to the little girl’s wound to finally stop the bleeding. A red glow fills the aura around her. The potion begins to work.

Seokjin can’t see that it does. He is too busy running and running and running to get the bandages. He has to be helpful. He has to save that little girl. His thigh is aching unbearably but he can’t let it stop him. He has to be quick.

He is limping as he runs, feeling out of breath.

“Bandages. Here.”

“Good. Open them. Get them ready, I will need them soon.”

“Yes! I will, oh god, I-I will.”

Seokjin works with shaking fingers. Oh why do they not want to open? Are they stuck together by magic? Come now, fingers! Work! You have to open those bandages! Open them!

“There we go”, he hears you say and watches as you straighten your back, “I closed the wound.”

“Oh by Frenya!” the mother and father exclaim behind him, “is she safe? Did you safe her?”

“Yes, you have nothing to worry about. The wound looked worse than it was. She will survive.”

Seokjin should feel relief, but he doesn’t. He is too shaken up. He can’t even be happy when the parents fall around your neck and thank you with loud sobs and promises of endless prayers for you.

He leaves in the end, once you told him to get some fresh air.

He doesn’t know what he did in that time. He sat, but felt numb in shock. He thought whilst thinking nothing at all. He felt whilst feeling nothing at all.

He is sitting on the stairs once you come out, staring at the ground with lifeless eyes.

“Hello there”, you greet him.

He blinks and turns his head. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at you with glassy eyes.

“How are you feeling?” you ask him.

He shows you his shaking hand.

“I can’t stop shaking”, he says and laughs painfully, “is this normal?”

“Yes, worry not. I was so shaken in my first few years as a healer that I couldn’t sleep afterwards. It gets better with time.”

“Hah”, he lets out and laughs again.

You know that this was a nervous reaction. When the brain gets overwhelmed, it tends to tell the body to laugh because otherwise it would be unable to handle the stress.

“Forgive me for putting you through this”, you say and offer him a mug of tea, “here, drink this. It will lessen the shakes.”

He accepts it and drinks it with two hands holding the mug. He lowers it afterwards, keeping it balanced on his thigh. His fingers are playing with the handle. It made a faint clicking sound each time he graced his fingernails over the material.

“We did this”, he says.

“I don’t seem to understand.”

“My people did this”, he says and touches his chest, “we hurt a little child.”

You eye the covered raven tattoo on his chest and the way his fingers twist his tunic painfully tight.

“Don’t compare yourself to those monsters. You didn’t hurt her, you saved her life. You are not the same as them.”

“And yet I was, not so long ago”, he lowers his head, “fuck, what have I done?”

“Seokjin, look at me.”

He lifts his head just enough to be able to look into your eyes.

“Your past is messy and dark and filled with mistakes, but it has passed and it can’t define who you want to be in the present.”

He furrows his brows.

“So don’t say that your people did this, because those monsters aren’t your people anymore and you surely aren’t their people either.”

“You truly think so?”

“Yes, I truly do.”

He smiles and while it looked sad, it was also filled with relief.

“Thank you”, he says barely audibly before having to look away and rub at his eyes to stop them from tearing up.

You reach out to give his upper back a gentle pat. He wasn’t shivering as much anymore.

“You did great in there. I mean it, you helped me a great deal”, you praise.

“Thank you. I had no idea what I was doing.”

You laugh, giving his back a gentle rub.

“You still did great.”

“I’m so glad I did”, he says. He takes a deep breath, lifting his head not only to get rid of the tears but also to look at the stars, “it felt good to help another person.”

“Yes that is why I love being a healer. Now, there are losses and those days leave a great aching behind. But most days are like today, filled with worry and yet at the end”, you look at the moon and smile, “at the end they bring great happiness with them.”

“You are a great healer.”

You turn your head only to realise that Seokjin was looking at you. His eyes reflected the light of the moon, his pretty lips were curled into a warm smile.

By Frenya, your heart is fluttering and your stomach tingles. Oh, it is the most unfamiliar of feelings.

“Thank you”, you whisper, eyes racing between his' without wanting to break away.

Seokjin nods his head and touches his chest. He closes his fingers around the tunic. 

"Can you heal me from this mark?" he asks. 

"I don't know if I can. And even if I could, it would hurt unbearably."

"I'm willing to take it if that means that I’m finally rid of it", he says, eyes filling with tears and lips curling in a painful scowl, "I want to cut it off. Why does it have to be on me?" he croaks, clawing at his chest.

"Hey", you stop him from hurting himself by taking his hand, "don’t do that. You’ll only hurt yourself", you speak softly.

"I don't care. I want it gone."

"But I care", you whisper, tracing his knuckles.

Seokjin whimpers softly, teary eyes flitting to you. He sniffles but doesn’t cry any more. 

"I promise you, we will find a solution together, but for now be patient please. I don’t want you to hurt yourself."

Seokjin hesitates, sniffles, lowers his eyes and nods his head. 

"Thank you", you say and pull back, “I think I should see how our patient is doing”, you say and stand up. You fix the front of your tunic and clear your throat, “you should stay here and catch fresh air, I know that healing people isn’t for everyone.”

Seokjin looks up at you. His eyes seem softer than they usually do.

“Yes, I will”, he breathes and finally shows his teeth in a hopeful smile.

Yela’s parents pick her up after eight moons and nine suns. The little girl looks healthier and thanked you with a hug. She also thanked Seokjin, who could barely accept her hug in guilt. But Yela insisted and so Seokjin allowed her to hug him and smiled when she called him her saviour too.

It was a busy today. Once the months were cold and the ground was covered in white snow, people tend seek your help for sore throats, stuffy noses and terrible coughs. It wasn’t hard work and required more knowledge about medicine than skill and you really liked it. Seokjin stayed by your side and watched you work. He asked many questions at first, so you gave him one of your empty notebooks and your favourite quill and told him to write down whatever he learned for later. He did so happily, even going so far as to draw the different bottles of medicine and scribbling the illness they could heal whenever the day was calmer.

You just said goodbye to the last of your patients for the day, now turning to Seokjin. He is busy storing the bottles of medicine by name. It fills you with pride to see how far in his readings he has already come. He is truly such a diligent student.

“Today was very busy”, you say.

He lifts his head.

“Yes, you worked very diligently.”

He makes you smile.

“I saw that you took many notes as well”, you say, reaching for his book. You open it, having to chuckle at the very badly done drawings.

“Why are you laughing?” he asks, drawing closer to you so he could look into the book as well.

“It is just that you truly weren’t graced by the drawing goddesses.”

He gasps, widening his eyes, “I worked very hard on them”, he whines, pouting most cutely.

“Oh Seokjin”, you chuckle, patting his arm, “truly I can see your hard work, they are just terrible drawings.”

“This is outrageous. Give me back my book, you have lost the right to look”, he says, ripping it out of your grasp to press it against his chest instead. He looks beyond lovable right now, sulking with the sweetest expression on his face.

“Forgive me”, you giggle, giving his cheek a soft pet, “come, I shall make up for it with food. We shall eat the pork belly Godfry left with us.”

Seokjin huffs out air, “very well, but I will only forgive you if you fry it.”

You laugh, “you are difficult to bargain with, aren’t you?”

“Perhaps”, Seokjin says and gives you a boyish grin.

This night you enjoy perfectly crispy pork belly with some winter potatoes. Even Kukuruz gets his own portion, enjoying it by Seokjin’s feet with a content purr.

It becomes a regular thing that Seokjin stays with you as you work. At first he sits just a little far off to the right and writes in his book. But as days turn into weeks and Seokjin managed to fill two notebooks with his words and terrible drawings, you find yourself getting help from him more actively. Especially when patients come with sore throats or a nasty cold. You can be sure that Seokjin will wait for you with the right medicines and a proud sparkle in his eyes. He is truly such a diligent student.

You have run out of potions last night and so you spent your entire day brewing and preparing new ones. The sun has long past its zenith by now and the cottage smelled of herbs and warm oils. It was a good smell, one that even Kukuruz enjoyed as he slumbered by the window sill.

You close the now freshly filled bottle of healing potion, placing it on its destined place on your shelve.

Seokjin limps past you, carrying empty flasks for you to fill up.

“Is your leg acting up again?” you ask him with worry in your gaze.

“Yes, slightly”, he answers you.

“Come, take off your pants and sit. I will take a look at it”, you tell him.

“Oh no, it’s not that painful.”

“Doesn’t matter”, you dismiss him, “I should check on it regardless.”

Seokjin lowers his eyes and lets out a sigh of defeat.

“Very well, you won’t take no as an answer either way.”

So it happens that Seokjin strips to his undergarment and sits down on the patient bed, resting his weight on his hands.

“How long has it been hurting again?”

“Just a few nights.”

“A few nights? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want to put more work on your shoulders. You have already so much to do now that the weather is so cold.”

“Oh silly man”, you give his thigh a soft slap, “you are no work.”

“Oh”, he lets out, lowering his head shyly just as his ears gain a red colour to them.

“Now, let’s see what the issue may be.”

You take off his bandages carefully, throwing them in your bucket of used bandages. You will wash them with the rest tomorrow.

The stitched wound looks well, except for one part where slight reddish wetness is covering his skin.

“Oh dear, look at that”, you say, touching the reddened skin beside it.

Seokjin hisses in pain, tensing his thigh.

“This is where it hurts.”

“No wonder it does. You rubbed it open.”

“Is it dangerous?”

You chuckle, shaking your head.

“Not when I take care of it”, you assure him, giving him a sweet smile. You caress his knee most tenderly, “stay here, I will get the healing potion.”

Seokjin watches you, sitting on the bed with his hands folded in front of his crotch. He feels most peculiar lately. He feels shy when he is bared to you. He didn’t feel like that in the past, but these days he does. In those moments he was plagued by worries of whether you would find enjoyment in his legs until he had to remind himself just how silly such worries were.

You return to the bed, setting everything you needed down.

“I will clean it first. Tell me if it hurts.”

Seokjin nods his head, feeling his skin tingle in goosebumps on the parts where your fingertips found their resting spot.

“How is that?” you ask him.

“It doesn’t hurt. It is just cold.”

You chuckle, “yes, I’ve kept the water outside for too long. It almost froze over.”

“The winter is really cold this year. I’m glad that I can spend it in warmth.”

You wash out the cloth and once done, return to cleaning him. His flesh is covered in goosebumps, they look most fascinating in the lights.

“So you have no huts in the Black Forest?”

“No. Rafkan believes that houses are the product of witches to keep the man lazy and weak. One can’t find their true strength when they are warm.”

“How silly”, you have to laugh, “if one gets oh so weak in the warmth then tell me why so many people freeze to death.”

“Yes”, Seokjin lowers his eyes shyly, “I never really understood the logic behind his words. I really hated the winters. I was lucky however, many of my brothers weren’t. Rafkan told us that those men were weakened by witches, but I believe that they simply lost to nature.”

“That is terrible”, you gasp, “my condolences, Seokjin.”

“Thank you”, he says, giving you a sad smile.

You retort it.

“I shall look at your wound now, so hold still.”

“I understand”, he says, watching you work in silence.

He will heal. There must have been too much pressure on his leg and therefore it managed to rub open. It is not deep and the stitches were in order as well. A good layer of healing potion will do the trick.

“I heard that the Queen gave many Ravens a safe home in Her walls.”

“Yes, She did.”

“And you didn’t want this life?” you ask him.

“No, I didn’t.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want to be trapped”, he says, slightly defensive, “I spent most of my life trapped in this cursed forest”, he spits and points east at where the Black Forest was hidden, “and then I was supposed to find freedom locked behind stone walls? What’s better about that?” he says, speaking calmly again.

“Safety, warm food, soft beds, no poisonous fumes or monsters”, you say, counting them all on your fingers.

He scoffs and shakes his head, “well, I didn’t want that. I don’t….” he takes a deep breath and releases it through his nose, “….I don’t want to live under the hand of someone else anymore.”

His features seem sad. His eyes carried the heaviness of a burden in them. His teeth bit on his lower lip in contemplation.

“So you ran away because you wanted freedom?”

“Yes, freedom”, he straightens up, “that is what I want. I want freedom, to live solely for myself.”

He looks at you.

“I know that you women aren’t witches. I’ve learned as much from the Queen”, he says, eyes lingering on your lips before breaking away to look at your working fingers instead, “She isn’t a bad person, She is very kind if I may be honest and I know my life in the castle would have been nice…”, he falls silent as he drifts back into his thoughts.

You spread the first layer of healing potion on his skin as you wait for him to continue.

“…but I escaped Rafkan to finally gain my freedom and in Her castle I would have had to live under yet another ruler. No”, he shakes his head, “this was no life for me. So I ran away.”

He looks at his leg.

“I managed to put two nights between the castle and me when this cursed wolf attacked me and bit my leg and I fell into this cursed river”, he explains and laughs, “I must say, this was a wonderful escape. I not only escaped Her castle but almost life itself”, he jokes and laughs.

You chuckle softly.

“At least you met me.”

He looks into your eyes. He had stopped laughing for your eyes mesmerised him far too much. A peculiar feeling tingles in your chest. It felt warm and as if, for only a second, you found it hard to breathe.

“I meant that you were lucky you found me. I helped you. I, I didn’t mean you f-found love or – oh dear this is not what I meant I don’t – forgive me, I am making no sense”, you explain yourself.

Seokjin smiles without showing his teeth. It makes his cheeks seem puffier for only a second.

“Yes, I found you. I’m glad I did.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you saved me. So thank you.”

“Of course”, you whisper. You didn’t want to whisper, but for some reason your voice didn’t want to come out any other way.

You laugh, looking back at his leg because you needed to do something other than feel flustered. Perhaps having his naked skin beneath your fingertips wasn’t the best distraction, but at least like this, you couldn’t lose yourself in his eyes again.

You reach for the bandages.

“Hold that in place for me.”

He obeys diligently, allowing his finger to brush against your hand, which elicits a millions of goosebumps on your skin.

"You will find your freedom. I promise you", you say quietly, "I won’t stop until I find a way to remove your mark and then you can go wherever you want to", you find it hard to speak the words and you can’t figure out why it felt so difficult.

"Thank you", he whispers, fingers almost touching your knuckles before pulling back shyly.

It was a sunny day today. The air was still cold, but at least the skies were blue and the sun was bright. It made the walk to the riverbed quite wonderful.

You had an important job to do today. Yela’s parents sent a hawk this morning, informing you that they ran out of medicine for their daughter. Her wound was healing splendidly but Yela had another condition which made it hard for her to digest the sugar in food. She takes a potion to help her with that. You sent the hawk back with promises of delivering the potions to them later. 

So you ate a quick breakfast and then began working on preparing the medicine. Seokjin insisted on helping and you allowed him. You had to sneak out for a quick moment to get water as Kukuruz informed you that his bowl was empty and that he wanted more. Of course you wouldn’t want your cat to feel parched, so you left the cottage when Seokjin was busy in the living quarters getting books on spells.

He is grinding the herbs when you come back. The book, which he found, he placed on the work table. He lifts his head upon hearing the door close, locking eyes with you.

“I thought they would lose their potency if I kept them for too long”, he explains.

“They don’t really, but one can’t be sure enough. Thank you”, you tell him, setting the bucket down next to the work table.

Mreow.

The black cat is circling your legs.

“Yes I got new water Kukuruz. Come, bring me your bowl and I will fill it up for you.”

Mreow.

“Now, now don’t talk back. I know you can do it.”

Meow.

“I heard that!” you call out.

“Can you truly understand your cat?”

“Yes, of course I can. Here, look”, you say and show him a delicate silver bracelet. There was a yellow stone in the middle, enclosed in a cage of branches, “I went to a sorceress and asked her for one of those cat talking bracelets.”

Seokjin widens his eyes.

“So they are truthful?” he gasps, “I have always thought them to be gimmicks.”

“Oh me too, but they are very true. I was oh so surprised to hear voices in my cottage until I realised that it was Kukuruz talking to me.”

The latter is currently strutting back to the bucket, carrying his wooden water bowl in his little mouth. He sets it down and looks up.

Mreow.

“Thank you.”

“What did he tell you?”

“He told me here you go, my bowl.”

“Hah, this is remarkable”, Seokjin says.

“Yes?” you kneel down to prepare the water for Kukuruz, “do you want to try?”

“Yes, please”, he exclaims with sparkling eyes. He giggles as you secure the bracelet on his wrist, turning his attention to Kukuruz afterwards, “Kukuruz?”

Mreow.

“Oh!” he exclaims, squeaking in happiness, “oh I can understand you.”

Mreow.

“No, this is my first time I am hearing your voice! Oh you sound deeper than I imagined you to sound.”

Mreow.

Seokjin giggles, leaning down to pet the cat’s head.

“It is nice to meet you too Kukuruz.”

He turns to you, giving you a blinding smile.

“This is the most remarkable invention”, he says, making you smile.

“You can keep it on for today.”

“Truly? You would allow me?”

“Yes, of course”, you allow him and pull your stool next to Seokjin to sit down, “shall I show you how to make this medicine?”

He nods his head.

“Well then”, you sneak a glance at the contents in the stone bowl, “you need to give the herbs five more grinds, they should be perfect then.”

“I understand”, he says and goes to work. You watch his hands as he works. They look elegant, his nails are clean and his nail beds look well-taken care of. It is surprising to see such hands on a Raven. You always expected them to be dirty and for their hands to be horrid to look at. But his hands aren’t horrid to look at, they are actually quite beautiful.

“Does the Queen look for you?” you ask him.

“I don’t know, I don’t believe She does. Perhaps She is already dead.”

“I don’t understand.”

Seokjin seems to hesitate.

“I shall tell you, but only if you promise me not to pull the knife on me again.”

You meet his eyes. He seems just slightly nervous of the truth.

“Fine”, you give in with a fond chuckle, “I shall hear you out.”

He gives you a grateful smile and looks back at the herbs.

“I finished grinding them, what should I do next?”

“Ah yes of course”, you say and reach for three different bottles of oils, “you must add five drops of treebark oil”, you explain and put the green flask next to his hand, “then one dash of Kreusel fish oil” you add, placing a spray bottle next to the flask, “and fill it up halfway with this”, you say and place a bottle of rosehip oil next to the others.

Seokjin nods in understanding and begins working.

You allow him to count the five drops and one dash, but ask him for his story once he uses the rosehip oil.

“Rafkan sent me to kill the Queen”, he begins, making you widen your eyes in surprise, “and I attempted to kill Her, but She was quicker and captured me.”

“So you were Her prisoner?”

“Just in the beginning. Should I mix it?”

“Yes, mix it until the candle burned down to the second line.”

He nods his head in understanding and mix it with the mortar.

"So why do you think that She might be dead already?" 

"Because I believe that Rafkan will send more Ravens until She is dead", he explains, "we agreed on a signal once we were successful in killing Her. Send a raven back to him with Her cut off finger ties to its legs. That’s what he told me to do."

"This is gruesome."

"Yes and until this raven doesn’t return to him, Rafkan will continue sending boys into their…well", he laughs breathily, "perhaps it is a good thing those boys keep trying. At least they will find saving this way."

Seokjin looks at you.

"I have a little brother. Not through blood, but he is the dearest to my heart. His name is Jungkook. I really hope that Rafkan sends him next and that he will be caught and find freedom that way."

You smile softly, "I really hope so too. Is he like you? Forced to be someone he doesn’t want to be?" 

Seokjin shakes his head, "he is so terribly influenced by Rafkan that it will be hard for the Queen to convince him", he says in a fond chuckle.

It makes you laugh as well. Even if you had no knowledge about Jungkook.

"I always wanted to flee", Seokjin continues, "that is why I volunteered when he asked. But Jungkook, he", Seokjin laughs painfully, "he called me hurtful things during our last conversation. I asked him to flee with me, but he refused and said stuff I know he didn’t mean."

"I'm sorry, that sounds painful."

"No, I’m not angry at him. He is still so young and he has so much to learn. I hope he will find the truth in the Queen’s castle and then heal from all the pain Rafkan caused him. I really wish this for him."

"I am sure that he will", you assure him, "maybe you can see him again one day."

"I really hope I will. I want to hug him if I ever do." 

He smiles, laughs softly and looks back at the medicine. 

"I'm rambling, I’m sorry."

"You really aren’t. So you said that She wanted to give you a home. But then you said that you were her prisoner. Did you lie?”

“No, I was free to move in the castle, but I wasn’t allowed to leave it yet. So in a way, I was still Her prisoner and I didn’t want that. I wanted to see the world.”

“I understand that. I heard that Rafkan doesn’t really allow you to leave. I bet going on this mission to kill Her felt like your key to freedom.”

He nods his head.

“Well, once your legs is healed completely I promise you that you can truly find it", you say and nudge his arm, “then you can finally leave my boring cottage. I’m sure you are looking forward to that.”

Seokjin turns his head to look at your face. He gives you a smile, which neither looks happy nor fake. It almost looks disappointed, as if he doesn’t want to think about the future you told him about.

“I, uhm”, you say, pulling your hand away, “oh look! The candle burned down. Now we have to fill it up quickly.”

Seokjin helps you. He pours and you hold the bottles. He also sneaks a glance or two at your face, which you retorted each time. You were so close. You were aware that it was only because you and him needed to work right now, but still, you were close and somehow this made your heart flutter again.

You finish the medicine by sticking a sturdy cork into the small bottle neck. Seokjin mimics the gesture on his bottles, doing so with his brows furrowed in concentration.

He also helps you with storing them in your basket, watching with great interest as you tug them in with a red cloth.

“So, I have to deliver them to Yela and her family now. I should be back by nightfall.”

Seokjin watches you put your fur and hood on. He stands up, erasing the distance between you and him.

“Can I come with you?” he asks almost shyly.

“You want to come with me?” you sound surprised.

He nods his head, “I want to help.”

“Oh don’t worry, they are not heavy. I can manage.”

“I understand”, he murmurs, lowering his eyes sadly. He seems so disappointed to be left behind.

“But fresh air would do you good”, you tell him because you couldn’t stand the thought of having Seokjin sit in your cottage with a sad expression.

Seokjin smiles happily, “thank you, I will get ready right away.”

Ten minutes later you and he are outside. Seokjin watches you lock your cottage. You turn to him and give him a shy smile.

“Let’s go, it is quite the long walk and we should hurry.”

“Where do we have to go?” he asks.

“Just past the town. It will take about an hour by foot.”

“I see, I have never been in town.”

“You have not?” you gasp.

Seokjin shakes his head, looking sad.

“Oh by Frenya, you truly haven’t seen a lot of the world, have you?”

He shakes his head again.

“Well then, I will show you a new spot today. Trust me, you will like the town. It is not big, but it is very good. The people are very welcoming and friendly. And I especially love the market place.”

“Why? Is the market place special?”

“No, but it houses a very beautiful statue of a wolf and I enjoy looking at all its details whenever I’m at the market”, you explain and sneak a glance at him, “worry not, it will not bite your leg.”

Seokjin laughs, which you retort. He has such a nice laugh. It is the kind of laugh which makes one want to laugh as well.

You pull closer to Seokjin once you enter the tense conifer tree forest.

“You have to be careful in these forests”, you tell him in a hushed voice.

“Why? Is it dangerous?” Seokjin gasps, sounding nervous.

“No, but there are tree fairies all around us and they like to play tricks.”

“Tricks?”

You nod your head, “they grow roots in front of people’s feet to trip them. Some even let pinecones drop on people’s heads. The whole forest laughs then if that happens.”

“I see. That sounds dangerous”, Seokjin says, eyes flitting to the ground in case magical roots appeared in front of his feet.

“They aren’t dangerous, don’t worry. They keep this forest alive and healthy and their tricks are harmless except for maybe a bruised knee and embarrassment in your chest.”

“I see”, Seokjin says, lifting his head to gaze at the canopy of prickly branches far above your heads, “do you know if there are tree fairies in the Black Forest?”

“There were once, but these days not anymore. They either died, got killed or fled to other forests. That is why the forest is so dark and why so many curses took root in it. There are no fairies left to heal and protect it.”

“Is this a natural thing to happen?”

“No. Tree fairies don’t abandon their trees, unless there is a reason for it. And in the case of the Black Forest, the reason came in the form of Rafkan. I didn’t witness the downfall of the forest as it happened hundreds of years ago, but the story of it is well known on this continent.”

“I heard that Rafkan is one of the Nïuri”, Seokjin says, “he always pretended to be mortal like the rest of us, but I never saw him eat or sleep, let alone age.”

“You saw right. Nïuri are a peaceful people, but not him. They use their immortality to nurture the earth, but he is nothing but a curse to every inch of earth he sets his evil feet on.”

“To imagine that the Black Forest was healthy once and that this awful person hurt it for hundreds of years”, Seokjin whispers and lets out a sad sigh, “I feel so much anger for him. I want to bring him so much harm.”

“I understand how you feel. I think about hurting him on many nights.”

Seokjin looks at you, “the Queen told me that Rafkan was the one who killed my parents and till now, I didn’t believe Her. What if She was right? I have a feeling that She was right all along.”

You could hear the grief in his voice. The heartbreak a painful realisation brings. The betrayal and anger and pain which follow.

“I can’t tell you, but I hope for your heart that She was wrong. Nobody should have to live with the murderer of their parents.”

Seokjin furrows his brows, “I want to hurt him”, he confesses with a trembling voice, “I want to hurt him until he begs me to stop.”

“I know, oh I know how you feel”, you say softly, stepping closer to hold his hands.

You stop. Droplets of melting snow rain down on your heads from the branches high above. Seokjin’s quick breathing creates white clouds in the air. His fingers are cold, closing around your fingers almost desperately.

“But Seokjin, seeking revenge on him won’t heal the wounds he left.”

“No, but at least it will stop them from opening up over and over again.”

“I understand you, I truly do. I lost my beloved aunt to Rafkan and if this cursed person were to ever appear in front of me, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to kill him. But seeking for it?” you pull him closer, tighten your grip on his hands, let your eyes get lost in his’, “seeking for it will give you more grief than relief. Please believe me. Believe me when I tell you that healing far, far away from him will feel better in the long run than seeking him one last time.”

“Are you scared that I might become the man I was in the past? Is that why you are telling me all of this?”

“No, I know you. You were never meant to be a Raven and you will never fall back into your old habits again”, you assure him with a fond smile on your lips, “and that is why I don’t want you to go back to that place. Distance keeps the memories at bay, while propinquity burns new holes into your heart.”

Seokjin breaks eye contact after a second, lowering his head with an exhausted sigh.

“It hurts”, he confesses in a whisper, “I was four years of age when Rafkan rescued me after masked bandits slit my parents’ throats a-and to imagine that I called their murderer my father for so many years unbeknownst to his true nature, hurts me so much that I can barely breathe.”

“It hurts me too. Rafkan deserves to be ripped apart by Morguls for what he did to you and so many other poor boys. If there is anything I can do to lessen the pain, I will do it.”

“Just…” Seokjin hesitates, lifts his eyes, hesitates. He takes a cautious step closer, “can I be held? For just a second.”

“Yes”, you whisper, closing your arms around him to pull him into a tight and soothing hug.

Seokjin drapes his arms around your waist instantly and rests his cheek on your shoulder. Despite his stature, he feels fragile in your arms. You find no peculiarity in that, knowing very well why he felt as small as he did. Coming to terms with your hurtful past leaves one broken and weak. You hope that this measly hug is enough to heal even a little part of him.

He shudders in an exhale.

“Is this how hugs feel?” he whispers.

“Have you never been hugged before?”

He shakes his head, “it feels so…healing.”

You smile. It was of both sad and happy nature. Sad because someone as gentle as Seokjin should have never lived so long without being hugged. And happy because he finally found healing through it.

“Thank you”, he breathes and you answer him by patting his upper back slowly.

He steps back soon after, revealing his teary eyes to you. He hides them when he watches with how much worry your features fill.

“It’s the wind”, he lies, wiping the tears away, “it’s so cold.”

“It is acceptable to cry. Never apologise”, you assure him, taking a step back because otherwise you would have reached for his cheeks and kissed his tears away and you know that this wasn’t in your place to do.

“Hah”, he lets out, cheeks and ears gaining in sudden colour, “we should probably keep walking, shouldn’t we?” he asks, carrying embarrassment in his voice.

“Yes, we should”, you say, feeling oh so flustered yourself.

You deliver the medicine to Yela and her parents. They thank you with a freshly baked honey cake. It smelled of cinnamon and cloves and had a yellow colour to it, almost as if turmeric had tainted it. 

You leave for the village afterwards, now that you had time to truly show Seokjin around. His pretty eyes seemed to light up more and more the closer to the village you came. You prefer that view over the sad betrayal he carried in the forest just hours prior.

“Here it is. My favourite statue”, you tell him, stopping in front of the statue of the wolf, “isn’t it beautiful?”

It was made out of dark bronze, except for its left paw. The touch of countless people turned it golden.

Seokjin studies it, “yes it is. The teeth look so real.”

“Yes, indeed. And look”, you say, touching its golden paw, “it is said that if you rub the wolf’s paw thrice all your wishes will come true.”

Seokjin reaches out and rubs the paw of the wolf. He squeezes his eyes shut and whispers something you can’t make out. Then he opens his eyes.

“What did you wish for?”

“I can’t tell you, otherwise it won’t come true”, he says, making you smile fondly.

“Very well then, keep your secrets. Come, I’ll show you to the marketplace.”

Seokjin follows, looking left and right with great interest. His eyes are sparkling greatly. He seems so content.

“Do you know why wolves carry such great importance in the Night Queendom?” you ask him.

“Is it because we have so many wolves living here?”

“Not quite.”

“Well, what is it then?”

“Did you know that Woltron and his pack are actually old gods?”

Seokjin looks at you with widened eyes.

“No, I didn’t. Is this really true?”

“Indeed it is”, you nod your head, “and that is why we cherish wolves so greatly, because Woltron and his pack watch over us and our lands.”

“I see. You know so much.”

“Yes, my mother told me a lot about our history”, you nudge his arm, “I can tell you everything you want to know. You just have to ask.”

“Really?”

“Yes of course.”

“Well then I want to know. Are the Nourishing Fields really endless?”

“Well, in the literal sense they aren’t, but they are so big and so wide that they seem endless.”

“I see”, Seokjin says and blushes, “I want to see the Nourishing Fields.”

“You can, I promise you.”

“Really?”

“Of course, once the months are warmer again and the days longer, you can go wherever you want”, you give him a smile, “you can finally see the world.”

You expected him to be happy, to retort your smile and show excitement in his eyes, but for some unexplainable reason he seems sad. 

“Yes, I guess I can see the world”, he murmurs and sighs. 

“What’s the matter?” you ask him, “do you not want to see the world?” 

“I do, but I just…” he trails off, looks to the side as if he was flustered, “it doesn’t really matter. I’m just scared, I guess.”

“Scared”, you repeat, “I see. It must be scary to wander the world, but I am sure that once you took those first few steps you will find great enjoyment in it. Worry not Seokjin”, you place your hand on his upper arm, feeling how his muscles tense, “you will love it.”

“Will I?” he asks, turning back to you. You don’t miss the way his eyes seem to linger on your lips for just a second or the way his fingers reach for your hand when you retreat your touch. 

“Of course”, your voice felt hoarse as you spoke and for just one second you felt this unbearable urge to reach back and touch his hand. You let out a nervous laugh, touching the side of your neck for your pulse felt terribly hasty in your throat, “well, uhm”, you begin and clear your throat, “we are here. This is the marketplace.”

Seokjin lets his eyes wander over the spacious plaza. The stalls are empty, standing in darkness whilst casting the blackest of shadows on the paving. Dogs are circling the stall in which butchers sell their merchandise. They must smell the meat, looking for it without the knowledge that their search will be unsuccessful.

On the only lantern a big owl is sitting, staring down at the two of you with big, unmoving eyes and every now and then,  its eerie call cuts through the silence of the night.

“It’s very…empty”, Seokjin says, making you chuckle quietly. 

“Yes indeed. We picked out a terrible time. Come tomorrow morning and this place is bustling with life. Right there”, you point at one of the abandoned stalls, “is where the best cake maker in town sells her goods. Oh Seokjin, the cakes she sells are magical.”

“I ate cake in the Queen’s castle. It’s really sweet.”

“Indeed and it’s so delicious, wouldn’t you say?” 

Seokjin nods his head, “I liked it a lot. I want to learn how to make cake.”

“I can teach you, if you want to.”

Seokjin looks at you with sparkling eyes, “you would do that for me?” 

“Of course I would”, you give him a smile and this time around Seokjin retorts it. 

Your eyes flit to it. Lingering. His lips look so pretty when he smiles. Even now in the bad lighting you find great beauty in them.

“What is it?” Seokjin asks you, stopping his smile for your intense gaze is flustering him.

“Oh dear”, you murmur, turning away with a fluttering heart, “I don’t know. I think, I must be tired. I keep zoning out on…” you falter in embarrassment. You don’t want to expose yourself, “…on different spots”, you lie.

“Ah, I see. Well, then. Do you want to walk home?”

“Home”, you repeat, finding yourself looking at his lips again, “yes, we could do that, couldn’t we?”  

You prepare warm tea for the both of you once home. The nights may be warmer again, but walking in its wet coldness for hours still managed to freeze your limbs. You have both done your nightly washing-up and changed into thick sleeping clothes. You laid out a pair of woollen socks, which you made during calmer moments, for both you and Seokjin as well.

“There you go”, you say, handing Seokjin his cup of elderflower tea, “this will warm you.”

“Thank you”, Seokjin says.

You sit down on the fur next to him, joining him in his relaxing task of watching the flames in the fireplace dance.

“Today was quite the productive day”, you say.

“Yes, we managed to do a lot of tasks”, he agrees.

“Indeed. Oh Seokjin”, you relax with a sigh, “I will miss you dearly once you are gone. You are truly of such great help.”

Seokjin looks at you with rosy cheeks. He fumbles with the edge of his cup, feeling warm in his chest right where his heart flutters.

“And you are a diligent student”, you sneak a glance at him, “you would make a fine healer.”

Seokjin lowers his gaze, touching his burning ear, “you think so?” he whispers.

“Yes, I truly do”, you whisper, gazing at his features. Oh why must he be so beautiful? If only you didn’t like his face so much, if only you didn’t find so much beauty in his soul, maybe then you wouldn’t ache so much each time you thought of him leaving one day.

You turn away, aching too much to bear his beauty any longer. The flames dance calmly, swaying left and right. You take a sip of your tea. It tastes good and fills your stomach with warmth.

"I have something for you", you tell him.

"For me?" 

You stand up to get it from your shelf, returning to him with a racing heart. Seokjin helps you sit down by holding your hand, eyes flitting to the piece of paper you are holding.

You place said paper on his lap, "open it."

Seokjin does so without hesitation, widening his eyes in shock. 

"Is this", he gasps, looking at you. 

"A potion to remove tattoos, yes. I found it at the market yesterday and I wanted to surprise you", you say, giggling excitedly. 

"You actually meant it", he whispers, clutching it to his chest with teary eyes.

"Of course I did."

Seokjin smiles, "thank you. I don’t know what to say." 

"Don't say anything. I'm just happy that I can help you heal from your past."

Seokjin nods his head and seeks you out by resting his head on your shoulder. He exhales deeply, eyes falling closed and fingers coming to play with the hem of your tunic. Mindlessly and innocently, but you feel weak nonetheless.

"Thank you", he whispers.

"Mhm", you let out, patting his thigh twice before pulling back again.

Why does he have to leave? Why him? Why?

“Where will you go once the months are warmer again?” you ask him even if asking that question hurts you. You don’t want him to leave, but it would be selfish of you to hold him back. He should experience freedom. That is what he deserves.

For a second he is silent, looking into the flames.

“I don’t know” he says quietly.

“I can advise you visit the Nourishing Fields first. Oh, they have the most beautiful colour during summer.”

“Are they far from here?”

“Just a five days walk perhaps. That is if you would spend each passing hour of those days walking”, you say and laugh quietly.

Seokjin can’t quite bring himself to laugh as well. The thought of wandering so far from you makes his heart ache.

“So I would say that you could reach them in about a week if the roads are good.”

“Have you ever been to the Nourishing Fields?”

“Yes, many times actually. My cousin lives close to them and I like to visit him when it is warm.”

You take a sip of your tea. It has cooled down just enough to make it bearable to drink.

“I truly enjoy this tea, it tastes so good.”

Seokjin takes a sip as well.

“Yes, it is very good.”

“Indeed” you say and nudge his head with your chin.

Seokjin lifts his head. You are giggling at him. 

Seokjin wants to giggle too, he wants to smile at you just like you do, he wants his eyes to sparkle the way yours do and yet in this moment as the taste of elderflowers was lingering on his tongue and his temple felt your lingering warmth, he couldn’t. He ached so terribly. The snow has begun to melt and if the nights continue to be as mild as they were lately, then soon the earth will thaw as well. And that means that the warmer months have finally come back and Seokjin has to leave your cottage to explore the world.

“I don’t want to see the world”, he blurts out.

“What?” you stop laughing, studying his features with confusion in your eyes.

“I don’t want to see the world.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I don’t want to see the world if, if that means that I have to leave. I don’t want to run on the Nourishing Fields or climb the Snowy Mountains or, or swim in foreign lakes if that means that I can’t see you anymore.”

“Seokjin, what are you saying?”

“You are asking me where I want to go first once the months are warmer again, but truth be told, the thought of going anywhere without you hurts me so terribly much that I want to wail”, he confesses with glassy eyes.

“Oh…”

“Perhaps I want to go to the town first”, he says and lets out a breathy laugh, “yes, that is the place I want to go. I want to go to the town in the greyness of dawn when you are still sleeping and I want to go there to buy the biggest piece of cake for you and then I will carry it home and I will be careful not to meet any tree fairies. And once home, I will feed Kukuruz and check on you and I will see that you are still sleeping. So I will prepare the cake and I will put a flower on the plate with it and perhaps I will sprinkle some sugar on it too because it is a special occasion and then I will bring it to you and wake you by, by”, he inhales shakily, “by kissing your forehead and I will watch how you smile at me and how you eat the cake deliciously and I will be happy.”

He rubs at his eyes, wiping his tears away.

“So that is where I will go once the months are warmer. I will go to the town to buy you a cake.”

You sniffle.

“That is a good place”, you whisper, intertwining your fingers with his’.

“So please don’t make me leave. Please let me stay by your side.”

You nod your head, fighting with your tears. You guide his hand to your lips, kissing his knuckles with all the love you have for him. You rest your cheek against them afterwards, allowing your warm tears to roll down his skin.

“I didn’t want you to leave either, but I didn’t want to tell you because seeing the world was your dream”, you confess.

“I can already see the world when I look into your eyes.”

You open your eyes, meeting the world in his eyes.

“I can see it too”, you whisper, “it’s beautiful.”

Seokjin smiles with his cheeks blushing. He squeezes your hand. You squeeze it right back, lifting your head to get closer to him. Your noses are almost touching, your lips are so close, your vision is just slightly blurry.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask him in a barely there whisper.

He closes his eyes, “please kiss me.”

“Oh Seokjin”, you sigh, cupping his cheek.

Seokjin closes his eyes with a sigh, meeting you halfway with yet another sigh rolling over his tongue.

You feel how easy life becomes once you kiss him. The air is lighter around you and filled with magic. Your cabin, once dark, is sparkling in the colours of the universe. Your skin prickles and in your tummy millions of butterflies flutter. This is the best feel you ever experienced.

You sigh and cup his other cheek, pulling him closer. Seokjin allows you, touching your upper arms with shaky fingers. His heart is racing so much that he fears that you might hear it. He has never kissed before, but he is glad that he didn’t. For having your lips be the first lips he ever kisses feels like wondrous magic to him.

A magic which soon robs him of air. He breaks the magic, only to realise that it still remains as flutters of his heart and tingles in his stomach.

You stay close, running your thumbs over his soft cheeks and poking his nose with your own. You feel so lightheaded. Kissing him felt like paradise.

“This felt magical”, he whispers, sighing when you brush your thumb over his cheekbone.

“Yes, it did. Oh Seokjin, I had wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“You, you did?” he stutters, blushing.

You move your head back just so you could gaze at his perfect features.

“Yes”, you whisper, tracing his pretty lips, “you have the most beautiful smile and your face”, you run your fingertips along his cheeks up to his forehead and down the slope of his nose.

Seokjin feels shivers run down his spine at the touch, having his eyes closed.

“Oh your face”, you whisper, “I don’t want to stop looking at it.”

You kiss him, surprising him so much that his stomach tightens and his heart skips a beat in his chest. He sighs shakily, allowing you to tilt his head so you could reach him easier. You kiss so much better than he ever could, you know so much more, he thinks. He believes that if he allows you to guide him, then he won’t be able to disappoint. He really doesn’t want to disappoint. Not you. You are so wise, so full of knowledge, so skilled and if he disappointed you with his kisses, he would never forgive himself.

So he lets you hold his face while he rests his hands on your waist. He lets you trace his lips with your tongue while he whimpers softly. He lets you lay him down on the fur, whilst gasping your name.

Your elbows are caging in his head, your hands smooth over his hair. Your chest is resting against his torso in this position and Seokjin can feel how quickly your heart is racing. So you feel just as excited as he does. Oh, he feels so reassured in his feelings because of it.

You break the kiss, tracing his lips with your tongue. They feel so tender, almost sensitive even. Oh, how long have you kissed him already? You can’t remember.

“Your lips are so soft”, you whisper, chasing them in a slow kiss. 

Seokjin keens quietly, hands reaching up to cup your cheeks. His palms feel clammy against your skin.

Giggling, you break the kiss just so you could gaze at him.

Your eyes soften upon meeting his glimmering gaze. You tilt your head to the side and caress his soft cheeks, “you look so beautiful.”

His plumb lips wear the deepest of pinks, his cheeks match, as do his ears. His raven hair is just slightly tousled in the front, hanging into his brows. He is breathing quickly, gazing up at you with his dark brown, pretty eyes.

“You look beautiful too”, he answers you in a small voice.

"I want to keep kissing you."

"Please do. I want it to too." 

"Oh Seokjin, my dearest", you sigh and lean down.

Seokjin gasps loudly when instead of kissing his lips, you lean down to kiss his neck. 

“O-oh”, he gets out, lifting his shoulders in instinct for the sensation was foreign to him. 

You flinch back instantly.

“Forgive me. I, I should have asked", you stutter.

Your eyes meet. 

"No", he shakes his head vigorously, "it felt really good. It surprised me, that is all", he whispers.

“Yes? So I can do it again?” you ask him, "please?"

Seokjin blushes vividly, avoiding eye contact.

“I’m scared”, he confesses.

“Scared? Sacred of what?”

“Of, of…of disappointing you.”

“Disappointing me? Oh Seokjin, why would you disappoint me?”

“Because I am a-”, he exhales shakily, “I have no knowledge of being intimate. And, and you know so much. You are so skilled and, and probably had men better than me and I don’t want to disappoint.”

“Seokjin, my dearest”, you say, soothing him by caressing his cheeks, “the fact that those men aren’t by my side anymore means that in the end, they couldn’t truly satisfy me. You aren’t worse than them, on the contrary, I have never felt so bewitched by anyone before you.”

“Really?”

“Yes”, you promise him, “so worry not. You are my diligent student after all, I am certain you will be a natural in intimacy as well.”

“I’m your student?” he gasps, ears turning the deepest reds instantly.

You giggle. Seokjin giggles too.

“Of course you are. You are my very good student”, you say, dancing your fingers over his collarbones.

Seokjin lets out a small moan, widening his eyes as he squirms underneath you. He seems to really like it when you praise him. Oh, that makes you so happy. You want to keep praising him just so you can make him look at you in that adorable fashion he does right now.  

"Perhaps you are even my best student", you say, basking in the joy you feel when he squirms a second time. 

“___”, he gets out, lips parting and staying that way. He hooks his fingers behind your neck, rolling his head to the side just enough to reveal his flushed neck to your eyes.

"My best student", you whisper and lean down to place a subtle kiss on his neck.

This time, Seokjin reacts in a sigh, head rolling to the side completely and eyes falling closed. His fingers slip from your neck, tangling in the fur in a shy and desperate grip.

Your own close around a bundle of his hair, mind falling into the droopiness of worshipping his vulnerable neck. His skin feels so soft under your lips. And hot. Oh so utterly hot. As if a fire was keeping it warm. You feel the sensation with three kisses and then a shy lick follows. 

Seokjin makes a soft sound, touching your hips only to pull away again. Another twist of the fur. Shy avoidance of what he truly craves.

“Don't pull away. You are allowed to touch me”, you encourage him with a whisper against his jawline. 

“But where?”

“Where do you want to touch me?” 

“Your torso.”

His answer makes you smile. You kiss along his pulse point, tickling him with gentle bites. 

“Then my torso it is. Touch me, my diligent student”, you rasp, making him shiver.

His hands grasp your hips, squeezing them with a certain strength. It is the kind of strength that lets you know just how incredibly affected he is by the situation. And that perhaps he had craved to touch you for the longest time. 

“That's it, your touch feels wonderful”, you praise him, moving his head by tugging on his hair most gently. 

He rolls it to the other side, exposing his unkissed neck to your eyes. His skin is tinted pink, looking beautiful like this. 

“You are so beautiful”, you breathe, kissing him with a racing heart. 

“Ah”, Seokjin lets out, running his hands up along your sides, “oh”, he sighs and shivers. He never even thought about how sensitive his neck is. He wonders if he is different and if such sensitivity is normal. He also wonders if he is allowed to shiver oh so incredibly much or if he is acting inappropriately. 

You take his earlobe between your teeth then and Seokjin swears that never before, his thoughts turned off as quickly as they did right now. 

His fingers stutter, coming to an involuntary pause right underneath your armpits. The bite just feels so good. Seokjin has to sigh and then call your name. 

“Is this enjoyable?” you ask him in the sweetest voice.

“I, I think something is wrong with me.”

“Truly?” you lift your head, eyes running over his features, “what is the matter? Where does it hurt?”

He shakes his head, “no, it is just that…that my neck.”

“What about your neck?”

“When you kiss me, I feel sensations down my back. Like shivers and, and they are in my fingertips as well and between”, he lowers his eyes, “I think it affects my, ahm, my cock as well.” 

"Oh dear", you can’t stop yourself from breaking into the fondest of chuckles, "my dearest Seokjin, there is nothing wrong with you. On the contrary, everything is perfectly fine." 

"But why does it feel so hot? A-as if fire fairies are close." 

"You are fine", you assure him, smoothing out his hair, "oh Seokjin, this is supposed to happen. Your cock is supposed to harden." 

Seokjin widens his eyes, mouth falling open. 

"Oh."

You giggle, poking the tip of his nose with your fingertip. He looks oh so endearing.

"Do you want to kiss my neck as well? I react differently than you do."

"You do?" 

You nod your head.

"So your core doesn’t harden? Like I do?" 

You chuckle, "how about you kiss my neck and I'll show you?" 

"Yes", Seokjin nods his head passionately, "I want to."

"Great", you say, lying down in the fur beside him. 

Seokjin props himself up on his elbows, looking down at you with big eyes. Like an innocent deer caught eating one of your plants. You love this view so very much.

You roll your head to the side and tug the collar of your tunic down, exposing your neck that way. 

"Kiss it. Kiss me, dear Seokjin", you sigh.

Seokjin exhales shakily, doing so to still the racing of his heart. Not that this helps. On the contrary, it only worsens it. He is so nervous and scared to disappoint. 

He lowers his head, holding his breath for the next part. 

His lips make the softest of sounds as he places his first kiss upon your skin. He pulls back afterwards. 

"Is that right?" he asks shyly.

"Yes, it feels so good", you assure him, "do it again. More. Much more."

Seokjin feels happy. He did well! Without wasting another second, he lowers his lips back to your neck. Your skin is soft, your pulse is tickling him, your throat produces the smallest of moans.

Seokjin closes his eyes and dares to weave his fingers in your hair as best as possible. He doesn’t tug like you did, he merely wants to hold a part of you as he kisses your neck. 

“This is so good”, you sigh, feeling yourself shiver uncontrollably. 

You had lovers in your past. Not many, but just enough to figure out what you enjoyed and what you didn’t. Most were mediocre, many were terrible and only a few were good. And you didn’t care enough about them to want them to stay. They were nice to have for the time being, but didn’t leave a hole of yearning once they left again. Most kissed your neck as well and the very few who refused to, were thrown out the moment they did. But they were all different. You realise this much now that Seokjin is kissing your neck. 

They didn’t leave you feeling oh so breathless from mere neck kisses. They didn’t leave you craving for more of their touch. But Seokjin does. Oh, how he does. 

You grab his hand and place it atop your breast.

"Oh?" Seokjin lifts his head, gawking at you with widened eyes. 

"Massage it softly. It feels so good", you tell him.

Seokjin gives your breast a soft squeeze, watching with heat between his legs as this makes you arch your back. 

"Just like that. Keep doing it just like that", you sigh, "oh Seokjin, dearest", you moan and overcome by your emotions you pull him down into a passionate kiss. 

Seokjin whimpers, kissing you back sloppily at first before he finds his rhythm. His hand continues massaging your breast, becoming more and more confident the deeper you kiss him. 

Your tunic is thin enough to allow his unfiltered warmth to reach your skin. His touch is so gentle and yet filled with such passion. For someone who never held a woman's breasts before tonight, Seokjin knows exactly how to bewitch you. 

"Seokjin", you break the kiss to moan his name, "Seokjin, I want more. Much more." 

"What do you want?" he asks breathily. 

"I want to have you. Bared."

"Oh." 

Seokjin gulps. 

"Do you want the same? You are allowed to deny me." 

Seokjin lets out a small laugh, lowering his head giddily.

"I never did such a thing before", he whispers, "but I want to do it with you", he says, lifting his head to gaze at you with sparkling eyes, "I really want to do it." 

He makes you smile. 

"Just one question. I have one question."

"Ask me, my dearest." 

"Will it hurt?"

"No, it will feel magical."

"Even more magical than a kiss?" 

"Yes", you smile, "even more than that." 

"I, I see", Seokjin blushes vividly, "oh by Frenya, this is making me fluster." 

You giggle, "you are so precious", you gush, rubbing your hands up and down his chest, "so shall we take our bottoms off?" 

Seokjin nods his head, "yes, I would like that." 

And so you begin undressing.

"It's not like I haven’t seen you naked before, is it?" you joke, painting even more pink onto his cheeks.

He giggles shyly, lowering his eyes. 

"Yes, I guess you have", he whispers, "but it’s different tonight, isn’t it?" 

"Yes, it’s exciting", you say, placing your pants to the side. 

You are on your knees. Seokjin is mirroring your position. His tunic is reaching him by his thighs, hiding his now exposed cock from your eyes. The dent is still visible however, drawing your eyes to it. 

"You ahm", Seokjin begins. 

You draw closer to him, "you look beautiful", you say, touching his chest.

"You too", he says, eyes lingering on your middle. Your tunic hides it from him as well. 

"Do you want to see?" 

"Can I really see it?" he is almost gasping the question. 

In one swift movement you have taken off your tunic, throwing it behind you mindlessly. 

"Oh, ahm, oh?" Seokjin lets out, eyes widened and racing all over your newly exposed body. 

You pose for him, enjoying his undivided attention to the fullest. 

"What do you think?" 

"This, this…this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Are you real?" he gushes, reaching out only to halt. His eyes flit up. "Can I touch?" 

"Yes my dearest."

Seokjin exhales shakily, placing his hands on your waist while his eyes race over your chest. 

"You feel so soft and warm. And, and your breasts are so…." he cradles them in his hands, "...beautiful", he whispers shakily. His eyes fill with the slightest of tears, "I missed out on so much", he croaks. 

"Don't be upset. You have all the time in the world to catch up with all the things you missed out on", you assure him. 

He smiles, dancing his thumbs over your nipples gently, "yes, I guess I have", his smile grows, "I am genuinely happy", he confesses and draws closer just to pull you into an adoring kiss. 

You feel your knees wobble because of it, not having expected him to take initiative. You love that he did, losing yourself in the passionate dance of lips and eager tongues while your hands travel over his torso. 

It happens that Seokjin loses his tunic at some point of this kiss, discarding it somewhere behind him. Your bodies chased each other instantly, your lips fell back into the dance. Seokjin kissed you even deeper after feeling your naked skin against his own. 

Now you are both groping each other, hands on the other’s hips in a desperate battle of who gets to pull the other closer. His cock is rubbing between your stomachs, leaving wet imprints behind. Your own middle is wet, dripping down your inner thigh. 

"I can't breathe", he whispers between tongue kisses.

"Neither can I", you answer him, "give me your hand." 

Seokjin moves his head back to look at you in curiosity. He places his hand into your palm, tilting his head to the side. 

"Do you want to feel how you affect me?" 

"Yes please." 

You guide his hand between your legs, making sure that two of his fingers part your soaked folds.

"You are wet", he gasps, widening his eyes.

"I know", you sigh, guiding his touch up to your clit. You show him how you enjoy it with your chest heaving up and down in a deep, shaky gasp, "that feels so good…"

"It does?" he gets out before he moves his fingers on his own, "like this? Is this how you did it?" 

"Yes", you sigh, "just a little to the left." 

Seokjin fixes his position, moaning with you as this makes you shudder in reaction. 

"Right there", you sigh, tilting your head back, "oh Seokjin…" 

"I can't believe that you are real", he whispers and overtaken by his emotions he chases you, lips claiming the emptiness of your neck and fingers exploring your wet cunt. He kisses you sloppily, moaning blissfully while his fingers rub circles into your clit. 

"Yes, yes, oh yes", you chant, feeling your entire body sink into the hottest flames of pleasure. 

It is not long and you tell Seokjin to bury two of his fingers deep inside your dripping hole. And Seokjin obeys, cursing under his breath because he expected everything but not for your core to be as warm and wet as she was. With your instructions, he begins moving his fingers while his thumb rubs your clit.

"You are so wet", he croaks, curling his fingers, "I can't believe you are real." 

"It feels so good", you sigh, rewarding his perfect efforts by wrapping your hand around his aching length. You begin moving, forcing Seokjin’s touch to falter in pure shock. 

"What- ah- what", he stutters, hand wrapping around your wrist and hips moving back in a desperate attempt to flee the unbearable burning of bliss. 

"Relax. I can make you feel good too", you encourage him, smiling at him even if his fingers between your legs make it hard to function.

"This, this is so much", he keens, writhing in your hold.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"I, I don’t know yet."

"Then how about I do this?"

You move your hand up and down his length slowly, making him squeeze his eyes shut and whimper.

"How is that?" you ask him.

"Don't stop, please", he begs with his voice slightly pitched. 

"I won’t", you promise him, running your hand up and down his length, "you are so beautiful. Such a good boy", you whisper, feeling his cock throb in reaction. 

"Oh god", he keens, dropping his head in exhaustion, "oh god, oh god."

"I know, it feels like a lot doesn’t it?" you ask in a soothing voice, massaging his sensitive tip. It fits perfectly into your palm, wetting your skin with his excited pleasure.

Seokjin nods his head, chasing you with a roll of his hips. You hold him back with a gentle grip of his waist, caressing his skin as your fingers dance down his length again. You cup his balls, massaging them slowly.

"Very heavy", you tease lovingly, "you must have so much pressure built up over the years, mhm?" 

Seokjin nods his head, letting out a breathy moan. 

"Of course you do. That’s what I'm here for now, I’ll take such great care of you", you rasp, taking his cock again to jerk it slowly yet precisely. 

"Please don’t stop, ah", he begs in a high-pitched moan.

"I won’t, my dearest. Keep moving your fingers. Can you do that for me?"

Seokjin obeys with a shaky moan and his lips parting in bliss. It is so hard to concentrate on pleasuring you, but he wants to do it. He wants to make you feel as good as you currently make him feel.

"A little to the right", you say.

Seokjin fixes his mistake, throbbing in your hand when you reward him with massages on his frenulum.

"There we go. You are such a diligent student. Such a good, wonderful boy", you praise, basking in the blissful shudder your sweet words send through his body. 

You fall into a kiss just seconds later. It is more breathy moans and weak kisses than anything, but it is perfect the way it is. Weak lips, uncoordinated licks, more moans than kisses. All of it is an image of how you both feel. Too overtaken by pleasure to truly function and yet desperate for the other’s kiss. You can’t remember if you ever truly felt that desperate for a man's kiss. Maybe you never did. Seokjin feels so very right, oh so right. 

"Keep going, just like this", you encourage him, feeling yourself shudder in bliss when he begins rubbing circles into your clit. His thumb is so soft, the pressure is just right. Maybe that tiny bit too strong, resulting in you dancing on the edge of overstimulation, but it feels so good to dance. It makes your highs feel that much more rewarding whenever you do.

"It's so hard to concentrate", Seokjin whimpers.

"I know, but keep going. You are doing such a great job", you whisper with unoccupied hand hooked behind his neck to keep his forehead resting against yours. 

“___”, he moans, “___ it feels so good”, he keens, closing his eyes by letting them roll back.

“Yes, it really does”, you agree, closing your own eyes as a soft sigh slips past your parted lips.

To be so close to each other. It feels like a dream now that you are finally experiencing it. You may have found yourself daydreaming about  how it would be to kiss him and touch him and make him feel good. Not much, because you feared that he might catch you in your crude thoughts, but whenever you did, you felt dizzy in desperation.

“Oh how I wanted this, Seokjin”, you sigh mindlessly.

“What do you mean?” he croaks, twitching in your hand. 

“You are a dream”, you whispers, “my sweetest dream.”

Seokjin whimpers your name and kisses you. You are his dream too. His sweetest, dearest dream. For the longest time, Seokjin didn’t know why he felt the way he does about you. He couldn’t explain the flutters of his hearts, the tingles in his stomach, the desire to keep glancing at you whenever you weren’t looking. He couldn’t explain what all of those sensations meant for he never experienced them before. But he knows now. He knows that this is what being in love felt like. He really liked that feeling, wanting it to never ever stop.

Seokjin curls his fingers inside you, gasping into the kiss when this makes you clench around him.

“You are so warm”, he whimpers, chasing your taste with desperate licks.

“Seokjin”, his name was muffled by the kiss, but it was still clear in his ears. He kisses you even deeper because of it and you shudder in intense bliss.

“You are so tight”, he whispers, breaking the kiss because you gasped for air.

“I know”, your voice is pitched and barely wants to come out, “don’t stop, stay just like this.”

“What is happening? Why are you so…ah, tight”, he asks, struggling with his words because your hand begins to speed up around his length. His thighs shake in reaction, hot tension begins building up in his stomach.

“Do you feel the tension in your belly?” you ask him, swirling your hand around his leaking tip. It feels so hot under your touch, covering you with so much wetness.

“Yes”, he whimpers, curling his fingers desperately just so you keep rubbing him that way.

“That means you will orgasm soon. I feel the same.”

“Will it hurt?”

“No, it will feel like paradise”, you say and sigh, “Seokjin, I’m close”, you croak, pulling him back into the kiss. 

Seokjin moans, thrusting into your fist because he felt like bursting. He wondered if something was wrong with him. Each time you rolled your thumb over his tip, his cock felt on fire and then when you stroked your hand down his shaft that fire spread to the rest of his body. Seokjin never felt that incredible before. It feels so good. It feels so, so good. 

“Seokjin”, you whimper, body tensing and walls clenching around his fingers, “now.”

It starts off on your clit, spreading through the rest of your middle before the fire deep inside causes a chain of reactions. You moan loudly, pulling him close as your body begins chasing him in desperate rolls of your hips.

Seokjin sobs softly, “I can't hold back”, he confesses and then he swears that something unnatural happens to his body. His cock feels as if it goes up in flames, wet and hot liquid spurts out of him and the most peculiar part is that he doesn’t want it to stop. He wants it to continue.

Seokjin moans your name, sobs it again a second later, thrusts his hips into your hand, shakes uncontrollably.

“That's it, climax for me, that’s it”, you encourage him in deep growls, fingers almost bruising the back of his neck from how tightly you hold him as your own high prolongs because of his climax. It excites you just way too much. He looks so perfect when he finds release.

“O-oh god”, Seokjin gets out, falling around your neck once his orgasm stopped. He hugs you, shivering uncontrollably while he barely gets any air into his lungs, “W-what happened?”

You smile softly, wrapping your arms around him safely.

“Didn't that feel wonderful?”

“I, I don’t know. Oh god, I can’t breathe.”

You chuckle fondly, “lean onto me, my dearest. I'm right here.” 

“Do you feel the same?”

“Yes, I feel so dizzy”, you say, closing your eyes to enjoy his warmth. You climaxed so wonderfully. Your whole body feels weak and so incredibly warm. 

Seokjin shudders, releasing a big sigh of relief and happiness. He grows soft in your hold, hands squeezing your sides as his arms close further around you. 

“This was so nice”, he whispers, “it scared me at first, but it was really nice.”

You smile, “trust me, you won’t feel scared soon. You'll probably grow quite addicted to the feeling.”

Seokjin nods his head, “I think so too. I already want it again.”

You laugh, moving back just enough that you could gaze at his face. Seokjin does the same, looking at you with droopy yet happy eyes.

“I see how it is”, you snicker, “oh Seokjin, I don’t think I'll ever let you go again”, you say. 

“Good. I don’t want you to”, he whispers, “I can stay with you, can't I?”

“Yes, it would make me the happiest if you did.”

Seokjin smiles and cups your face. 

“My world”, he sighs, giving you no time to answer him before he already has you lost in another kiss.

You spend most of the night exploring each other. And come the next morning, Seokjin wakes you up with his face between your legs and his cock pressing into the mattress. You spend the entire day in bed, showing him even more possibilities of pleasure while Seokjin listens and learns like the diligent student he is.

#seokjin smut #seokjn romance #seokjin fantasy #seokjin fanfic #seokjin oneshot #seokjin scenario #seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #sub!seokjin #bts smut #bts romance #bts fantasy #bts fanfic #bts oneshot #bts x reader #bts x you #sub!bts #bangtan smut #bangtan romance #bangtan fanfic #bangtan oneshot #bangtan x reader #bangtan x you #fanfic: queendom series

[avianyuh]

Hello 👋👋 can I pls request BTS members unrequited love headcanons where they are in love with reader who is their friend. But reader is oblivious to their feelings and doesn't reciprocate because she is not a celebrity and she never thought that they will ever like her romantically. One day they get jealous when reader starts liking someone or maybe another member starts liking her?Thank you ❤️ ❤️

BTS getting jealous and confessing to reader

~

word count; 3,058

~

Seokjin; 

Seokjin had met you through a friend. 

You two had instantly clicked and Seokjin had fallen for you after a few months of knowing you. 

If he was being completely honest, he didn’t know why he had never come clean about his feelings. 

He had thought about it a lot and had come to the conclusion that you most likely just viewed him as a friend. 

So to him, he’d reather be in your life as a friend than lose you if you didn’t feel the same way. 

And for awhile, that all worked 

Until one day you had come over to his apartment to have dinner with him 

The night was going well

Seokjin had cooked dinner for you 

But then you broke his heart

“Seokjin! You’ll never guess what happened at the office today. You know that new guy who kept sitting with me at lunch? He asked me out’, you sighed clasping your hands together, all wide-eyed and red in the face. 

Seokjin felt his heart sink 

He wouldn’t be able to be around you if you started dating this guy

It’d be too painful for him to watch you

The woman who loved, with another guy

So unintentionally, he couldn’t help but blurt out, “I don’t think you should go out with him”

You’re smile disappeared as you looked at him, confused. 

“Why not?”, you asked him. 

His heart started racing. Quick, what should I say?, he thought to himself. 

He knew he had to come clean.

“Because, I like you.”

You’re eyes went wide again, but for a different reason this time. 

You were surprised. You never thought Seokjin had viewed you as anything more than a friend. 

“You like me?”, you asked staring at him. 

All he could do was keep his head down and nod his head up and down.

You stood up and walked over to him

Seokjin looked up as you pulled him into a hug. 

“Is this you telling me you feel the same way?”, he asked. 

Yoongi;

Though you and Yoongi work in the same profession, you led very different lives.

You were a producer. 

You didn’t have any social media. 

No one really knew who you were. 

You absolutely loved what you did

Which is what brought you to Yoongi.

You worked at Bighit and had been assigned to work on a song with him for his next album. 

The two of you bonded and Yoongi developed not only a friendship with you, but also a bit of a crush too. 

But, one night in the studio you had told Yoongi something that made him rethink his need and want to confess his attraction towards you. 

For reference; 

The two of you had been talking all night in the studio. The project had been finished for the day

Yoongi had been telling you about how he wished he could do some of the things he used to do before he had gotten famous. 

He felt like he couldn’t really go anywhere without the need of a bodyguard or a manager 

He missed his independence 

So when you had told him how you’d hate to give up your freedom and be famous. 

It had really gotten him thinking. 

If he were to confess his feelings for you, would you reject him because he was famous? 

Though he understood your feelings, it kind of crushed him 

He felt like you’d never want to date him because of your feelings toward being famous

And obviously, if you dated him, your privacy would be gone. 

So…he put his feelings on the backburner and tried to forget about it.

But, because you never knew he liked you 

And technically, you were not only co-workers, but also friends

His feelings were hard to get rid of because he had to see you all of the time

But one day when you mentioned off handely that you had gone on a date the night before

Yoongi had felt insanely jealous 

And he acidentally snapped at you

“I don’t want to hear about your stupid date okay Y/n?”

You looked at him, scrunched eyebrows, confusion and hurt evident on your face. 

“What’s wrong with you?”, you asked hesitantly. 

“I just don’t understand why you have to tell me about your dating life when I never even asked in the first place, that’s all”, he responded back angrily. 

By that point you felt uncomfortable, so you stood up from your seat in the studio and started gathering up your stuff to leave. Murmuring that you had somewhere to be and should get going. 

For a few seconds, Yoongi was actually going to let you go.

He thought that maybe this was all for the best.

You being in a relationship would help him get over you faster. 

But there was this tiny  voice inside his head that told him he’d regret letting you go without even trying to express his feelings. 

He sighed before calling your name. 

You turned around bracing for more hurtful words from one of your favorite people.

But unexpectedly, he walked over to you, saying a quick ‘sorry’, before pulling you into him and kissing you.

Yoongi braced himself for a slap, or a shove, but instead he felt you sink into his embrace. 

You broke the kiss first, looking up at him, “We have some things to talk about, but why exactly did you make things so hard for yourself?”, you asked, which received a laugh from him

Hoseok;

Hoseok had met you through his sister. 

She had a business event and the two of you had accidentaly bumped into each other

Which you both frantically apoligized to each other 

Which made you both start hysterically laugh 

And hence, a new friendship blossomed

Probelm was

Hobi caught feelings for you

But you had actually made it clear to him a few times that you didn’t want to be in picture with him or anything 

Mainly because you wanted to keep your privacy

So the two of you didn’t get to see each other often

It wasn’t out of character to not speak for a few weeks at a time

But you always invited in over to sit and chat about your recent whereabouts 

And considering how interesting Hoseok’s life is 

And just how infatuated he was with you

You both looked forward to these meet-ups

Well…except for this one

You had been chatting for an hour or two

When in the middle of your story about work, your phone went off 

You looked down at it

And Hobi couldn’t hepp but peak 

You sighed as you picked it up, unlocked it and started texting 

You put it back down and quickly apologized to Hosoek

Who waved you off, “Don’t worry about it”, he had said

You nodded in agreement and looked back down at your phone again, reading the response 

“Who is it?”, Hoseok asked. 

“This guy I’ve been seeing”, you said nonchalantly. 

Hoseok sat up straight at the sound of that

He tried to play it cool, “You were…seeing someone? Anyone I know?”, he asked you. 

“Uhh, no. Just some guy my friend  introduced me to a few weeks ago. It was actually right after you had come over that week. I just don’t know if I like him all that much, he’s kind of boring.”, you explained. 

Hobi would be lying if he didn’t admit that he was happy to hear that you weren’t interested in this guy. 

“What is your type Y/n?”, Hoseok asked, resting his head in the palm of his right hand, looking up at you almost like he was conducting an interview. 

“I don’t know, I guess I’m looking for someone funny. Someone who obviously isn’t boring…”, you said.

“Someone like me?”, Hoseok asked hesitantly. 

You looked up at him, squinting, “Yeah…I guess I’m looking for someone that reminds me of you.”, you couldn’t believe you were admitting that to him. 

“Then why not just date me? Isn’t that easier”, he asked, his smile slowly overtaking his serious interviewer expression. 

“I had no idea you were into me Hobi”, you said, also developing a smile. 

“Well now you do”, he said.

Namjoon;

You had met Namjoon randomly during an outing. 

You had been at the same museum, looking at the same exhibit. 

Namjoon had noticed you first, as you were trying to get a picture of yourself and the artwork displayed on the wall. 

He watched you for a few seconds, looking around to see if anyone had come with you to help you take the photo but he didn’t notice anyone 

At first he was going to walk away, but decided to approach you and ask if you needed someone to take the picture for you. 

“Excuse me, I noticed you were trying to take a picture. Um, if you need help I wouldn’t mind taking it for you?”, he asked kindly. 

You looked at him, responding with gratitude, “Oh, thank you so much! That would be great.”

You handed him your phone and walked backwards. Asking him if you should move over or readjust your position. 

You spent the next few minutes being redirected by Namjoon. 

After he took a few photos for you, you asked him if he had come to the museum alone, to which he responded that he had. 

You asked him if he wanted to walk through the rest of it with you, and possibly help you take more pictures

He agreed and boom, that was how you met

By the end of the museum tour, you had exchanged phone numbers and had became good friends. 

As you walked through the museum that day, you had asked him about what he does for a living, and thai took Namjoon back. 

Not because he was stuck up or offended that someone didn’t know he was in BTS

But it was actually because he found it cool that he had coincidentally met someone who didn’t know who he was

So when he told you, and watched as you gasped and covered your face in embarrassment, apologizing for not knowing. 

He immediately reassured you that you had no need to apologize to him

After that over the course of a few months of knowing each other, Namjoon had gotten to know your true feelings on a few different topics

One of those topics being your opinion on fame. 

More accurately, your opinion on how you could never imagine yourself as famous

You had told him how you thought it was too constricting and how ou didn’t know how he handled it so well.

Though he found it endearing how you obviously weren’t friends with him for fame

He kind of realized that you’d probably never want to be anything more than friends due to his job

But that changed when he had introduced you to his members one day

You two had made plans to go get coffee

You would come by the company building after his dance practice and then go to the cafe

But when you came inside and greeted everyone, Jimin took a likin to you very fast

He was cracking jokes with you and of course you were laughing because lets be honest Park Jimin is very charismatic. 

And Namjoon was starting to get angry

He became very jealous really fast

So, he quickly approached you and asked if he could speak to you outside. 

You agreed and followed him out of the practice room and into the hallway. 

He sighed and looked up at the ceiling

You asked him what was wrong

So he started with a question, “Are you interested in him?”

“Who?’, you asked, “Jimin? I just met him”, you explained look up at Namjoon. 

“I mean…it’s okay if you are I guess but…uh, I don’t know, I think you’d get along better with me.”, He shrugged, avoiding eye-contact with you. 

“Do you like me?”, you asked him. 

“Yes…I wasn’t sure if you knew”, Namjoon said. 

Jimin; 

Jimin had known you for over a year. 

He had never really viewed you as a friend and has always wanted to confess. 

But he knew you had no interest in fame so he decided to just try and keep his feelings to himself. 

He frequently introduced you to his other million friends (lol I had to)

And one of which was Jungkook. 

One of his closest friends and his group mate

He hadn’t expected anything to happen 

But when you told him a few weeks after the introduction that you had a date with Jungkook

He was very, very confused

In fact he actually stood up really fast and was like, “WHAT, WHEN, HOW, WHY”, and you side-eyed him 

“Don’t be so dramatic, he gave me his number after you introduced us.”, he had explained. 

And to be fair to JK, he had no idea that Jimin was into you since you had known each other for over a year and he made no moves. 

“I thought you didn’t want to be involved in anything that could get you linked to fame?”, Jimin asked you, trying to think of a plan to stop this *dreadful* date from happening. 

“I mean, I’m friends with you and nothing’s happened yet. I’m sure It’ll be okay”, you had said. 

Jimin got up from his seat and started pacing back and forth, still thinking of some excuse to give you as to why you shouldn’t go out with Jungkook. 

You had noticed his erratic behavior and asked him what was wrong. 

He looked at you and all he could say was, “I don’t want you to go out with Jungkook”, you looked at him ,puzzled as to why he cared so much. He noticed your expression and just decided to come clean. “I don’t want him to go out with you because…I like you. Ever since I met you, I’ve had a thing for you, I just never thought you’d be interested because you told me you didn’t want to be famous.”, you looked at him, then down at your phone.

You texted Jungkook explaining you had to cancel, and that was the day you started dating Park Jimin. 

Taehyung;

Similar to Jimin

You had been friends for over a year. 

Except you had met at a clothing store (I’m sorry IK this is predictable, I’m running out of ideas for where you meet. It’s tough writing 7 unique stories lol)

You had been working there and he came in one day and blah blah blah, you became friends over your shared love of fashion.

And honestly, Taehyung really valued your friendship and input on a lot of different things. 

He didn’t have any feelings for you as far as he could remember. 

But when one day over the phone you told him about how some guy had asked you out at a coffee shop that day while getting a drink with friends

He felt this weird feeling

Like he wasn’t happy for you 

That weird feeling he was feeling?

Yep, you guessed it; JEALOUSYYYYYYY

So he was kind of silent for a minute. And then he made up some excuse to hang up the phone because now he had to think about all of this.

Was he into you? He never viewed you in a romantic way, you were a close friend, nothing more, right? But the why would he be jealous, why would he not be happy for you?

So there he was. Laying on his bed looking up at the ceiling, utterly confused. 

But then he realized it, he’s obviously jealous BECAUSE he likes you. 

Who’s the person he calls first when he hears about good news? You

Who’s the person he goes to for advice on anything and everything under the sun? You

Who’s the person he stays up late talking to on the phone? You

Who’s the person he wants to be with? YOU

So…

He immediately dialed your number

Yes, he knows it by heart 

And voila, confession.

Spoiler, you felt the same way. 

Jungkook; 

YESSSSS

I’ve made it to the last member

Okay, he actually met you through his friend Eunwoo (why Eunwoo? Idk, I know they’re friends and I don’t know where JK meets people lmao so yeah…Cha Eunwoo everyone…) 

Okay anyways, you met JK through him. 

How you were friends with Eunwoo, idk, but you weren’t famous, that’s what matters. 

Jungkook instantly liked you, but he actually thought that you liked Eunwoo, not him. 

But he actually ‘causlaly’, totally not casual btw, he asked Eunwoo if like…and I quote, “Knew if Y/n asked about me”, and Eunwoo was like, “Why? You like her?”, and Jungkook got all embarrassed 

But Jungkook begged him not to say anything and Eunwoo kept is word. But Jungkook still thought that it wasn’t worth asking you out because he genuinely thought he’d get rejected. 

But one day, the two of you were hanging out and you mentioned how you had been out with Eunwoo the other day. 

This made Jungkook mad.

And he got all huffy and puffy and you were really confused. 

“Did I do something wrong? You’re acting weird”, you asked him. 

“No”, is all he said in response. 

“Okay, anyways, I went to this restaurant with Eunwoo, it was so-”, Jungkook cut you off before you could finish. 

“I don’t care about Eunwoo. Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted to go. You know I love spending time with you”, he said angrily. 

You were shook

Like, jaw dropped, you never expected him to snap at you like that. 

“Jungkook…are you jealous”, you asked. 

“Do I really have to answer that?”, he responded. 

“You know there’s nothing between Eunwoo and I, right?”

“Well…now I do.”, he said. 

~

{A/N; Helloooooo, I wasn’t sure if you wanted this to have a happy ending so I decided to end it with a confession (aka a happy ending) I hope this was good! Ty anon! Also I feel like when it comes to BTS, I write better for the hyung line. Idk why, but sorry lol if you read this and notice that the hyung line gets longer parts than the maknae line. Again, I’m not really sure why I have such a problem writing for them, especially Jimin and Taehyung} 

#bts #bts headcanons #bts scenarios #bts fanfic #jungkook #jimin #jhope #suga #yoongi #jin #seokjn #namjoon #rm #taehyung #kpop #bangtan #jungkook fanfic #jhope fanfic #suga fanfic #namjoon fanfic #jimin fanfic #jin fanfic #taehyung fanfic #bts fluff #min yoongi #yoongi fanfic

[floralseokjin]

⤑ made-up love song iii.

Your first encounter with Kim Seokjin doesn’t go so well, nor your second, or your third… and maybe that’s because it shouldn’t work on paper. You’re an elementary school teacher, never left the country despite hitting the third decade of your life not so long ago, and you’re unable to remember the last time you dated. He’s the dad of one of your students, nearly a decade older than you and divorced. Oh yes, and just another minor detail – he’s a multimillionaire. 

Your lives are lightyears apart, yet somehow, your paths having now crossed, things just seem to fall into place…

pairing; kim seokjin x reader  au/genre/warnings; strangers to lovers, romance, eventual smut, eventual angst, single dad! seokjin, ceo! seokjin, elementary school teacher! oc, age gap (oc is 30, seokjin is 37), seokjin is a dilf, lots of lasagne talk, flirting, kissing, fluff 🥰 words; 9,340

↪︎ chapter index

chapters; i • ii • iii • iv • v • vi • vii • viii • ix • x • epilogue (+ drabbles)

After you had time to calm down, of course you ended up telling Soojung about what happened on the date. You kept some things to yourself, mainly about how giddy you had felt throughout the whole thing, but you were sure she could see that for herself – she kept looking at you knowingly, and for once she kept the teasing down to a minimum. You ended up staying awake quite late, Soojung opening a bottle of wine. You were still excited from the date and the thought of what was to come next, but somewhere along the line, you and your best friend started getting into your feelings. (Was it really a Saturday night until you and Soojung ended it with slightly drunk sappy heart to hearts and hugs? Obviously not…) 

For the first time in a while you felt comfortable enough to open up about your love life (or lack of one) and felt it easy to talk about the past and to even bring up Donghae. He was a forbidden topic for the most part, no matter how much you were over him, but tonight had changed something. You didn’t know how to explain it, and no, it wasn’t because Seokjin was somehow the man of your dreams who had magically made things better with just one date. That was dumb and only happened in cliché Hallmark movies. 

No, it was because tonight had shown you that life goes on. No matter what rock bottom you hit, or how long it took you to get over it, no hurt was forever. You’d been single for a long time, and happy at that – after you’d gotten over the heartbreak of Donghae cheating on you – but tonight you’d had fun. You’d enjoyed yourself, enjoyed Seokjin’s company. You didn’t know what would come of your second date, or if there would be a third, but you were okay with that. You were just living in the moment, and right now you really liked that infuriating-not-so-infuriating bastard. 

You were taking a chance, just like he was, and it was actually pretty exciting…

.

.

You woke up late the next morning, something you didn’t reprimand yourself for because it was summer break after all, but also, you had a raging wine headache that had needed all the shut eye it could get. Your head was still throbbing slightly as you reached for your phone on the bedside table but seeing a text from Seokjin waiting for you made it miraculously disappear. 

Seokjin (10:28am) Hi Y/N, Thank you for such a great time last night. I can’t wait until Saturday. Would it be alright with you if I kept in touch throughout the week?  Seokjin

You giggled to yourself at his insane formalities. Why was that so adorable? But most importantly how could he be both cute and sexy at the same time? He was hellbent on making you lose your mind. You thought about teasing him, asking him when he’d grown comfortable enough to drop the Regards from yesterday, but despite how well last night had gone, and despite how much you loved joking around with him in person, over the phone seemed different. You were still a little nervous – giddy nervous, but nervous, nevertheless. Your conversation from last night with Soojung came back to you, reminding you that this was all too real. You were potentially catching feelings for this man, and it was new, and exciting, but equal parts terrifying now that you’d woken up with a hangover. 

Everything you typed out in reply seemed way too stiff, so growing frustrated, you settled on an emoji to cut through the formalities. 

You (10:49am) I had such a lovely time too, Seokjin. Of course it’s fine to keep in touch. I’m looking forward to Saturday night! 😊

What did he mean exactly about keeping in touch?, you wondered as you got out of bed, padding your way down the stairs and into the kitchen for a much needed glass of ice cold water. A good morning text? A how are you? You knew he was busy with work all week, so you weren’t expecting too much, but just knowing he wanted to stay in contact until next Saturday made you smile to yourself as you waited for his response. 

You didn’t have to wait long. 

Seokjin (10:55am) Great! I’m so excited to try your World famous Italian lasagne 😁

Cute. He’d followed your lead, ditching the last of the formalities and even signing off with an emoji instead. You instantly felt more at ease, but – 

Oh no. 

Why did he have to bring that up and remind you of your humiliating blunder? You knew what would be taking up all of your time for the few days – you needed to perfect this goddamn dish. 

Soojung on the other hand was unbothered by your predicament. Mind in the gutter as always. “Do you think that’s a euphemism for something else?” She asked straight away once you’d shown her your messages a few hours later. 

“Soojung!” You exclaimed, feeling yourself get a little hot in the face. You wish she’d stop bringing up sex, it was stressing you out. You told her as much. 

“You’re the one who’s invited him to your house for a second date.” 

You stared at her, greatly unimpressed. “You know why I invited him here.” 

You’d told her last night. You’d been hit with a surge of confidence when you’d suggested it was your turn to decide on something. In truth though, you didn’t know the first thing about restaurants, you hardly ever ate out, and when you did it was either fast food or at the food court in the department store Soojung worked at. You knew he wouldn’t have minded any choice you’d made, but that didn’t stop the slight apprehension you felt. 

It was normal, given your difference in lifestyles, and whilst that seemed to be no issue thankfully, that difference was still there. However really, that’s why you’d chosen to cook for him. Seokjin had shown you something close to him last night – the restaurant he owned with his brother, and now you were to show him something close to your heart. Something that was you. You loved cooking and baking in your spare time and you wanted to share that with him however small. Granted it was things you were confident with, but lasagne couldn’t be that hard, right? A true perfectionist, you’d master it quickly enough…

Soojung rolled her eyes. “I’m sure you could suggest McDonald’s and Dilf would be insanely happy.” She nudged you, squealing like a kid. “He’s just so into you!”

You wouldn’t bite. She was making you nervous again. “Stop calling him Dilf, he has a name.”

“Geez, sorry.” She held up her hands in apology. “Didn’t mean to offend your man.” 

You pushed her shoulder, silently telling her to quit it.

For the next few days it became your life’s goal to master the art of lasagne. Sunday night was spent googling recipes, trying to find the most authentic one. There seemed to be a lot of fuss on the right type of pasta. Flat edged would be fine, but the wavy edge was best. You made note of that. Next was the sauce. Two types. The tomato based one and then the white one – which you learned was called Bechamel. That seemed pretty easy to cook up, but the former seemed a little daunting. Every time you’d had pasta sauce in the past it had been premade, starting from scratch was giving you anxiety. Seokjin thought this was your expertise so you had to make it believable. What if you made it too salty? Too bland?

…Possibly you were thinking way too hard about this. Soojung thought the same. 

“Just buy it in a jar, Y/N, for Christ’s sake. You’re taking this way too seriously. You don’t need to learn fluent Italian to make your little white lie believable. It’s a goddamn lasagne.” 

She had a point. 

“He’d be happy with a sandwich. He’s coming over for you, not the shitty lasagne.” 

“Don’t call my non-existent lasagne shitty, you’re setting me up for failure.” You grumbled, looking at the ten tabs you had up on your laptop screen, all claiming to be the best most authentic recipe around.  

On Monday you went shopping for ingredients. You knew a small world foods store that was just outside of town, you’d been there a couple of times when you’d been baking with the children for class. With help from signposted aisles, you found what you were looking for in no time at all, so that night, you and Soojung both tucked into your first (sort of) homemade lasagne. Only the Bechamel sauces was harder to master than you’d first thought. 

“I think you added too much flour.” Soojung’s nose wrinkled as she spoke. “It’s nice, don’t get me wrong, but the white stuff… I don’t know, maybe it’s supposed to taste like that?” 

Nope, she was definitely correct, too much flour, which was odd because you were pretty positive you’d followed the right measurements… 

Tuesday you had a day off from the sight, and even the word lasagne. You met for coffee with your mom but kept the date with Seokjin a secret. Not that she pressed about your love life anymore, she’d long given up on that topic. It was nice to catch up and you made plans for a trip soon. It was hard to find time to visit her when you were in work so you were always thankful for the summer and Christmas breaks. You were her only child, so it made your time together even more precious. She’d only remarried ten years ago, and while Jonathon had kids from his first marriage, they lived abroad. They were older than you and had families of their own. You weren’t particularly close for no other reason than the distance. You’d only met them a few times but they were lovely people. Your father had remarried while you were still in high school, having two more children (a son and daughter) with his wife. You were very close to them despite the age gap and saw them as regularly as you could. Your extended family had long been the norm and you wouldn’t change it for the world. 

Wednesday you were back on the lasagne. You purchased more pasta sauce and decided on the pre-made Bechamel sauce too, just to be safe. This time around everything went smoothly, Soojung had no complaints and neither did you, but you still invited Taehyung around on Thursday for a third go. He was way more enthusiastic than your best friend, singing your praises all night. 

“Y/N, that was amazing!” He exclaimed, leaning back in his chair to pat his belly. “Dilf dick – Uh, I mean, Seokjin, is going to love it.” 

“Guys, is that what you really call him when you’re alone together?” You whined. 

“Blame Soo,” Taehyung shrugged. “She’s rubbed off on me. But, I’m right,” he smirked. “He’s going to want to give you his DD once he tastes this, if you know what I mean.” 

Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, you looked on unimpressed. Maybe if you gave them no reaction they’d stop? 

“Oooo. I wonder what his dick even looks like. I bet it’s as handsome as his face.” Soojung squealed, sat beside her boyfriend. 

“SOOJUNG!” He cried, mouth open in disbelief. 

“Can we just stop talking about his… y’know…” You sighed, unable to say the word aloud. “Imagine if it was the other way around and he was wondering about what I looked like naked.” Soojung wouldn’t be impressed, that was for sure. 

“Fine, you’re right,” your best friend sighed. “I’m just way too excited because you finally like someone!!” She was getting loud now, she always did when she was excited. “And I want it to work out because you deserve it!” 

You chuckled. “Soo, calm down.” But you had to admit her words were sweet. You reached for her hand across the tiny table, giving it a gentle squeeze of thanks. 

“What about Barman dick?” Taehyung asked randomly, totally oblivious that you and she were having a moment. “Huh? Soo? You want my Barman dick tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows again, a playfulness to his voice as he nudged her. 

She giggled but wasn’t having any of it. “It doesn’t really have the same ring to it, babe.” 

Highly offended he pulled away, pursing his lips. “Whatever.”

“Okay guys, let’s not have a domestic at the dining table.” You laughed. Which was a mistake because now Taehyung’s attention was back on you. 

“So, Y/N, when are you going to invite Mr. Dilf to my bar?”

You sniggered. “How about never?”

“Hey, you ladies are being very mean tonight. I complimented your lasagne.” Hm. That was true, you guessed. “What’s wrong with my bar? I think he’d love it. What does he drink? I see him as a dark rum type of guy.” 

You shrugged. “He was drinking red wine on our date last week.” It still made you feel funny to say the word date. You’d gone on a date. You were dating. A flurry of excitement found its way to your stomach, your excitement for Saturday growing. 

“Interesting,” Taehyung mused.

Soojung stood up, starting to collect your plates. “Okay, I’m washing, who’s drying?”

“Not me,” you sang. “I’ve cooked nearly every night this week.” 

Soojung eyes were wide when you met them, as if she was silently begging you. For what? “Just please promise me there won’t be any lasagne waiting for me after work tomorrow night? I’m going to turn into one at this rate.” 

Saturday arrived soon enough. You woke up the same time your phone went Bing and you knew exactly who it was. Seokjin had been texting you Good morning every day since Monday. He was no longer signing them off with his name, which was progress, and he was even adding more emojis, so you guessed you had rubbed off on him. 

Sometimes he’d drop a meme with the greeting. They were mostly to do with early mornings and workloads to which you’d tease him about because it was your summer vacation after all, you didn’t need to worry about work. But you always sent a Hope today runs smoothly his way too. You didn’t want to rub it in too much. 

Yesterday’s meme had been about dating, something about the guy trying to flirt but being garbage at it and asking if she liked cheese. You didn’t agree that was like Seokjin though – you were gradually learning that he was incredibly modest – but it had made you laugh. Only Seokjin could send you lame memes and you’d find it adorable… You were possibly whipped. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  Good morning. [Image sent] 

Today the meme was about lasagne, which made you question whether he was googling these every morning because no way had a lasagne meme popped up on his social media – if he used any at all. The realisation that he was searching for memes every day was even more endearing and your heart got a little gooey. You read the text on top of the image of lasagne. Dude, is that your new white shirt? Lemme just hop off this fork for a closer look. You genuinely laughed at that one, still wrapped up in your bed sheets. So incredibly lame, but equal levels funny. 

Seokjin (8:01am)  I will not be wearing white… I can’t wait to see you later. Just a reminder that I hope you omitted the garlic for tonight’s meal. I don’t want to embarrass myself by itching all night 😅😂

Immediately the smile dropped from your face and you shot forward, horror washing over you. Oh no. He was allergic to garlic. With the stress of perfecting the world’s best lasagne you’d totally forgotten. What were you going to do? Find a plain tomato sauce? Where the hell were you going to find one? Was that even a thing? You needed to leave now. Jumping out of bed you almost forgot to message Seokjin back. Looking at your phone again the image of the lasagne mocked you… 

.

.

Two hours later you were back at home, in need of a sit down after you’d rushed around town looking for a pasta sauce that didn’t contain garlic (very hard, by the way.) The stress had aged you about ten years. Soojung of course found it highly hilarious. 

“You’d have been in ER before 9pm,” she chortled, still in her pyjamas on the couch. She’d been still asleep when you’d dashed off, a woman on a lasagne mission. 

You ignored her. It wouldn’t have been that bad, right? He said himself he’d only be itching… Clawing off his own skin was probably better than his throat closing up… maybe… 

“How did you manage to forget?” She was still laughing. “AND you said you’d make a lasagne. Italian food always uses garlic. He must think you’re trying to kill him.” At this point you could hardly understand her, words blurring into one as she lost her shit. 

“We went over this. I wasn’t in my right mind when I said I’d cook lasagne.”

She stopped her laugher immediately.  “No way, you’re not blaming me again.” 

“Ugh.” You sighed, suddenly remembering something. “I was going to make my homemade garlic bread.” Now that was a speciality of yours. This night was going to be a disaster.

“Skip the garlic,” Soojung suggested. 

“So, just bread then.” 

She tried her best not to laugh again, not wanting to make it worse. “Yum.” 

It didn’t help. 

What did help though, was making her clean the entirety of the downstairs of the house. As the day went on you started to get more and more nervous, which was silly, but you couldn’t help it. You realised that your place was a shoe box in comparison to his, what the hell were you thinking when you’d invited him here?! It needed to be spotless, to distract him from the fact you would be eating dinner in the same place you would be cooking it… 

You knew there was no need to worry, it was just like last week when you’d grown self-conscious only to be fine once you’d set eyes on Seokjin. No doubt tonight would be just the same, he didn’t give a crap about stuff like that, so why would you even think he would? He’d probably be hurt if he knew… You just couldn’t help those little bubbles of insecurities from floating around inside your brain. You were a law unto yourself, and the garlic-less lasagne wasn’t helping. You’d had no time to prep for it. What if it tasted like cardboard? 

“Lasagne is lasagne,” Soojung reassured you, in the kitchen as you got all the ingredients together. “It’s not going to taste gross just because there’s no garlic in it. Put it this way, at least you can kiss without needing to pop a mint.” 

You whined, shaking your head, you couldn’t even dare thinking about kissing him right now. You’d spontaneously combust from anxiety. 

“Should we clean your room too?” She asked, picking up the jar of pasta sauce absentmindedly. You’d already read the label approximately fifteen times, double checking it was indeed garlic-less. 

“What? No,” you told her, voice all high-pitched. There would be no going upstairs besides from bathroom usage. “But hey,” you exclaimed, rounding on her with the spoon you were holding in your hand. “My room is always clean, bitch.”

She was the messy one.

.

.

Soojung left for Taehyung’s place at half 6, ready for Seokjin’s arrival at 7pm, a hug for good luck before you waved her off. You’d calmed greatly now, nothing like some table laying to ease some nerves. The lasagne was prepped and ready to oven cook, you had a fresh key lime pie in the fridge and you were dressed and presentable with ten minutes to spare. Wonderful. 

The doorbell rung not long after you’d made your way downstairs and you were quickly finding out that Seokjin was a very punctual man. Opening the door to reveal him stood at the porch your heart instantly warmed, skipping a beat when he gave you a dazzling smile and a soft Hey. You felt a little weak at the knees. Nope, you were not ready for tonight. 

In your tiny entryway he offered you a silver gift bag. “I didn’t know what to bring, so.” He said with a shrug as you pulled out a bottle of red wine. 

“Oh, thank you, Seokjin.” You hadn’t been expecting him to bring anything at all. It was a lovely surprise. 

“You probably have some waiting already. I’m sorry.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you reassured him. “We’ll use this one.” You were going to use a bottle of white wine you had laying around, nothing special at all. Red wine seemed better, fancier, maybe it would go better with the lasagne?

“Are you sure?” He asked. “I was gonna get you flowers but I didn’t want to freak you out or anything.”

You laughed. What was he going on about? “Why would that freak me out?”

His smile was crooked as he chuckled quietly. “I don’t know. I’m new to this, I thought they would’ve been too forward.” 

You gave a small shrug, voice barely there when you replied. “I like flowers.”

He gazed at you, warm eyes softening as he stepped forward. “Next time.” He smiled. “Next time I’ll get you flowers.” 

You swallowed fairly loudly, averting your gaze as you outstretched your arms. “Let me take you coat.” Was it hot in here? You felt a little stuffy. 

He shrugged off the beige wool blend, revealing the tight fitting black shirt he had on underneath. It stretched over his shoulders, accentuating how broad they were, how hard his chest was and how much his waist curved inwards. The pants he was wearing didn’t help matters too. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, hair parted to the side, a piece curled above his left eye, softening the blow of his exposed forehead. You moved to hook his coat on the rack, realising you could’ve been gawping. Not that you could help it, the man was trying to kill you.

As you turned to face him again, he smiled. “You look really nice.” His voice was soft which just made it even more dangerous. “I think this may be the first time I’ve seen you in pants.” 

“Really?” You wondered. You were partial to a dress in the summer, so he was probably right. You’d chosen a pair of black skinny jeans and a patterned chiffon blouse. Nothing too fancy, but he looked at you with awe-filled eyes. Unless you were imagining it. You cleared your throat. “You look good too.”

He stepped back, arms outstretched as he looked down at himself. “Thanks. No white.” He chuckled. 

You forced yourself to laugh too, nerves creeping back just because of your stupid damn lasagne. “No white.” 

Moving forward again he took your hand. It was warm and soft, just as you remembered from last week. Who cared about the lasagne when you were this close to him? When he was looking down at you with those brown, twinkly eyes? Not you anymore. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this all week, Y/N.” 

Oh.

.

.

You invited him inside the living room first, pouring him a small (and his only because he the car) glass of wine as you chit chatted for a few minutes. Sat next to him was RJ, who you’d taken from your bedroom to join you both for the night. He wanted to say Hi, had been your opening line and Seokjin had found it hilarious, cracking up instantly. Although his “I missed you buddy, how have you been?” went rudely ignored. Maybe the alpaca was nervous… 

Ever the gentleman, he complimented you on the house, noting the décor with a fond eye. That surprised you, maybe he had played a part with the interior of his home. Well, you’d only seen the cosy family room – but it suited him very well. You knew there had been no need to be nervous when it came to inviting him into your home. There wasn’t a judging bone in Seokjin’s body. 

You talked about your weeks, yours had been fine, but of course you left out all the stress over the lasagne. Seokjin’s week on the other hand had been quite demanding, but that was nothing new he told you with an accepting shake of his hand. He was used to it by now, but he had to admit tonight’s date had made it easier this time around. He was full of the charm, not that you were complaining…

Misook was babysitting Arin tonight, he told you when you asked how she was. It was his weekend this week, he and Nana took it in turns – when she didn’t cancel, he added as an afterthought – but he seemed a lot more relaxed talking about his ex-wife this time around seeing as last weekend she hadn’t broken any promises. He was happy if his daughter was happy, and that made you smile. You remembered Arin’s sorrowful face that day her mom had cancelled on her, so you were glad they’d found time to spend time together. You also remembered how irritated Seokjin had sounded when he was opening up to you on the bench at the school fate… You wondered just how often Nana cancelled plans, and couldn’t imagine how frustrating that was for both Arin and Seokjin… You hoped this marked the start of things being easier for them now. 

Soon after that, you served him your starter (“garlic – wait, no I mean, no-garlic bread.”), and you chatted some more over that and while the lasagne baked. It was surprising how little you’d touched the sides on your first date, so tonight you covered even more bases. Family mainly. You told him about your half and step siblings, your parents’ remarriages of course coming up too. He seemed interested in that, wondering about your views on it and if it had affected you as you grew up. As a divorcee you understood the relevance to him and because he was so easy to talk to you found yourself opening up freely. 

His parents were still married and Seokjin was the youngest out of their two sons, so it was quite unheard of for the second born to take over a family company. In fact, it was the first of its kind for his, which made it even harder for him. His older brother had been the rightful heir to LG Electronics but his passion had always been in culinary arts. His parents had been kind enough to let him follow his dreams, and thankfully, for Seokjin, that meant he could follow in his father’s footsteps. He’d been eager to prove himself but it had been hard in the beginning. His status as the youngest son meant that a lot of people set him up for failure, but with his family’s love and belief he’d managed to succeed and confirm himself as the rightful CEO. You didn’t doubt it. It seemed he’d worked hard to get where he was now. That was admirable. 

The influx of information was so interesting to you and it didn’t feel real. While you could imagine Seokjin taking charge, visualising him in that tailored houndstooth suit he’d worn when you’d first met him, it was strange to think the smiley and soft-spoken man sat in front of you was from a long line of power and wealth. He should be untouchable, yet here you were able to reach for his hand across the table. Able to feel his forefinger stroking delicate patterns into your palm as you opened up and got to know one another more and more… 

“So, if your family’s a big deal, what about things like arranged marriages? Are they still a thing?” You asked, maybe confusing fiction for fact. 

Seokjin laughed at your wording. “They used to be, not so much anymore. I met my ex-wife through a friend. They concentrate less on things like that these days.” He shrugged, adding as an afterthought, “As a divorced CEO I think I’m a great example of that.” 

That was true, you thought to yourself, wondering how the breakdown of his marriage had also played a part in the stress of his early years as CEO. 

“I know it all sounds pretty crazy, but I like to think my family is just like anyone else’s.” He continued, smiling bashfully when you met his gaze. “That I’m just like anyone else.” 

You wondered how many people had immediately judged him because of his status… You’d been one of them, right? Even if you hadn’t known any of the details, you’d written him off as some obnoxious, rich guy who flaunted his wealth… You felt guilty thinking back. He was the complete opposite.

You nodded in agreement before grinning. “I’d have liked to see what college Seokjin was like.” 

“A complete nerd, to tell you the truth.” 

He answered so seriously, you didn’t know how to react, and then he was laughing loudly, cracking up at himself. You couldn’t help but join in. That’s when your stove alarm went off, shrill and incessant, signalling the arrival of the dreaded lasagne…

It turned out he loved it though. 

“This is amazing,” Seokjin praised, mouth still half full as he chewed. You did have to admit it was good. It tasted just like the original, despite the lack of garlic. Seokjin quirked an eyebrow, smirking your way. “So, how lucky am I to be able to try this World famous Italian lasagne?” 

“Very lucky.” You kept your answer short. Hoping he’d just drop it. 

He didn’t. 

“How lucky?” He tried to pry from you. “How many people have tried it?” 

You gave him a small smile, hovering your fork over the plate. Technically he was the third, but you couldn’t tell him that, could you? “I can’t disclose that.” 

He emitted a short laugh. “What about the recipe? Care to share?” 

You brushed him off with a soft chuckle. “A chef never tells her secrets.”

“Not even me?” His bottom lip jutted out as he looked across at you. 

Your heart did a little dance. He was being unfair. “Don’t pout like that, it’s making me feel guilty.” 

Thankfully the lasagne topic fizzled out after a couple more minutes, your cold sweat having time to dissipate while you chatted and ate together comfortably. However a few minutes later you noticed Seokjin fidgeting slightly in his seat. You politely ignored it to begin with, unsure if you were just imagining it, but then he started itching the back of his neck. You put your fork down, a sick feeling washing over you. “Is anything wrong?” You asked, now watching him itch up his forearm. “Seokjin?”

He looked at you in mild confusion, eyebrows creasing together as he opened his mouth. “Are you sure there wasn’t any garlic in this?” 

You swallowed away the panic racing up your throat. “I’m sure.” You’d read the back of that jar and then read it some more. “I’m positive.” 

… Weren’t you? You watched him scoot his chair back, leaning down to start scratching the back of his calves. He made noises of discomfort as he did so. 

“Oh, no…” You were up before you could stop yourself, racing around him to start hunting in the recycling for the glass jar. 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

You could hear Seokjin’s voice behind you, sounding alarmed, but you were too panicked to really take it in. You needed to be sure. This was just your second date, you couldn’t ruin things already. Turning him into one giant itchy red blob had not been your intention.  

“I was only teasing you.” Still, his words didn’t sink in. That was until you felt a hand on your elbow, tugging gently for your attention. 

You spun around, worried eyes wide – even wider when you found him so close. He was on his feet too, bent a little to level with you, pretty much within kissing distance. His voice was soft when he spoke, you found yourself distracted by his mouth. “Y/N, I was just messing around.”

You blinked, not truly understanding with all those annoying distractions zooming around your mind, but slowly you pieced his words together. Oh. Despite the relief you felt, now you just felt silly. Plus, he was still so close to you… 

You took a step back, the small of your back pressing up against the counter. You needed a clear head. “Don’t freak me out like that.” You told him, but you still sighed in relief, hand against your chest. “I thought I’d poisoned you.” 

He looked a little concerned, but you could tell by his eyes he found your reaction amusing. “I’m sorry,” he apologised. “I just wanted to make you laugh.”

“Make me laugh? You nearly gave me heart failure.” However, you gave him what he wanted, a laugh that sounded weak and shaky, but it was something – you did see the funny side. 

He joined you, shoulders relaxing now that he knew you were okay. He looked behind you, eyes on the trashcan, a bemused smile on his face. “What were you looking for anyway?”

“The jar.” You answered, as if it wasn’t obvious. You turned, deciding to fish it out anyway. Holding it up to him, you were adamant. “See, no garlic. Check.” 

He chuckled. “I already said I was joking.” He took one look at your desperate expression and gave in, taking the jar from your hand. “But if it makes you feel better…” You watched him as he read the label, silently soaking in his handsome features. He looked softer tonight, the curve of his jaw rounding as he smiled. It took you a moment to realise he was done. He handed the jar back to you, and you prayed to God he hadn’t caught you staring at him all gooey-eyed. “It’s fine.” He confirmed. “I’ll be itch free tonight.” 

You smiled and plopped the glass back inside the can. “I looked around town for hour trying to find lasagne sauce sans garlic.” 

He looked guilty. “I’m sorry for being awkward.” Then he paused, eyes narrowing, the hint of a smirk itching at the corners of his mouth. “But… Y/N, are you a fraud?” Huh? What did he mean? You didn’t need to wait long for an explanation. “I thought a certified chef would cook up a batch of her own tomato sauce.”

Oh. You’d gone and put your foot in it, hadn’t you? It was probably time to explain yourself… “I have a confession,” you began, sounding wary. Seokjin looked interested albeit it mildly confused. “I… may have told a little white lie.”

He shook his head, a puff of laughter leaving him. “You’ve lost me.” 

You took a deep breath, knowing you were going to have to spell it out for him. “I’ve never made lasagne before. Ever. In my entire life.” 

He looked confused as silence spread out between you. He sounded it too when he spoke again. “Then why did you say it was your speciality?”

You groaned, dropping your face into your hands for one dramatic moment. “I panicked.” Peeking at him, you babbled on. “I know it sounds stupid but Soojung was curtain twitching and it was stressing me out and then you were asking me what I cooked and lasagne just popped into my head!”

Seokjin blinked, his mouth twitched and then he was laughing – loudly. 

“You find it funny?” You asked, relaxing a tad. 

“Very.” He laughed harder but seeing the look of bafflement on your face he tried is best to still it. 

“I’ve been practicing it like crazy,” you whined, happy you could finally tell him all about your lasagne struggles. “This is my fourth time eating it this week. Soojung nearly killed me.” You snorted at the memory. This started up Seokjin again. “And then I forgot you were allergic to garlic. Your text reminded me this morning and I had to rush out to the grocery store.” 

He was weak at the knees at that, and you were laughing just because he was. It was contagious. “Stop,” you wailed, attempting to get a hold of yourself. This week had actually been quite traumatic. “I’m glad you find it funny, I’ve been in constant stress ever since you drove off last week.” 

“I can’t help it.” He chuckled, although he did sound apologetic. “You’re just so adorable.” The air that settled around his effortless admission made your skin prickle. When he carried on, his tone was gentle. “You know I wouldn’t have minded if you changed the menu to something else, right?” 

You pouted ever so slightly. “But you were looking forward to it.” 

He gave a small shrug. “True, but… that was more so code for ‘I’m looking forward to seeing you again.’ The food was just a bonus. I’d be happy with a Big Mac.” 

You felt your cheeks burn and you tried to shake yourself out of it. “So embarrassing,” you murmured. You didn’t know what for… The lasagne mess or the fact he could have this much of an effect of you? You were inclined to go with the latter. 

“What about the no-garlic bread?” Seokjin asked, changing the subject a little. Maybe he’d sensed your embarrassment and didn’t want to make it worse. He was sweet. “Did you make that?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “Well, I didn’t bake the bread. I just toasted it.” It was still a speciality of yours though. “It would’ve been much tastier with the garlic.” 

He gave you an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. This body wants to turn me into a miserable old man.” 

Pfft. Old? Miserable? He was anything but. 

“Sit,” he prompted you, smiling as he motioned with his head to the table. “Finish your World famous Italian lasagne before it grows cold.” 

As you moved he delicately cupped his hand around the curve your waist, giving it a soft squeeze before he got to his chair first. Your stomach flipped, head dizzy as you sat and tucked your chair in. Last Saturday popped into your head, the way you’d loosely held hands outside and how you were sure he’d been leaning in to kiss you – properly. 

You knew one thing. You really wanted to kiss him tonight. 

Trying to get a hold of yourself, you glanced at him, catching his eyes. He was already tucking in again, and he grinned bashfully, as if embarrassed. “This really is great. All that practice paid off.” A pause. “You should show me how you cooked it sometime.” 

Your face lit up in surprise. “You cook?” In the back of your mind you were aware that he’d probably been hinting for a third date, but you were so shocked by the possibly of Seokjin cooking you couldn’t stop yourself from asking. 

He chuckled quietly. “I mean, when I have time and can be bothered. I like cooking but it’s just easier to go to a restaurant or get it delivered.” He looked sheepish before adding, “Or Misook does it for me.” 

There was no shame when it came to that. Seokjin probably worked all hours of the day, no one could expect him to tie on an apron when he got home and start pulling out pots and pans. 

“Do you cook a lot?” He asked. 

You nodded. “Soojung and I take it in turns.” 

“So what is your speciality?” He smiled. 

This time around you were in your right mind and able to answer properly. “Veggie tacos.” 

He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Then he tried again. “Can you make them for me sometime?”

He was persistent, you’d give him that. You shrugged, trying your best to sound impassive but the little smirk gave it away. “Maybe if you say please…” 

He laughed, leaning forward, a hand clasping yours as he tilted his head. The piece of curled hair falling into his left eye. “Please?”

Your heart did another little dance inside your chest. 

.

. 

After dessert you both made your way back to the living room, settling on your couch with two pomegranate mocktails Taehyung had prepared for you yesterday. All you had to do was add the pomegranate juice and lemonade to the ice cubes and crushed lime segments and mint before serving, easy-peasy. Seokjin was highly impressed, but of course you couldn’t take the credit. It was all down to your best friend’s very helpful barman boyfriend. 

You were glad Seokjin wanted to stay as you didn’t want the night to be over yet. It had flown by so fast and you’d had so much fun. You already felt like you knew him better, even after only two dates. It was strange to you, how you could feel so relaxed in a stranger’s company, but then again, you guessed he wasn’t a stranger anymore… Plus, he was so easy to talk to, so interesting to get to know…. Everything between you two came easy. 

Like opening up to him, being a bit more vulnerable… 

“I’ve been slightly nervous all week,” you admitted, clutching your drink to you before chuckling softly. “– and not just about the lasagne faux pas…” 

“There was no need to be nervous. I thought we left all that behind on the first date,” Seokjin reassured, smiling warmly your way. 

You were sat together, turned to face one another. It was intimate and cosy. He had one leg lifted, the ankle resting on the knee of the other leg, and where his pants had ridden up, you could see an inch or so of his calf before it met the black cotton of his sock. For some reason, you found that very, very sexy. Maybe you had been single for far too long. 

“We did,” you agreed, hesitating slightly. “It’s just… I haven’t done anything like this in so long.” 

You didn’t even think you’d ever invited someone around for dinner before. You were still quite young when you found yourself in a relationship with Donghae so your dates before him had been very basic. Your dates with him hadn’t really classed as such just because you became official fairly quickly, and your dates after him, well, it was already known that they had been few and far between. 

“You already know we’re in the same boat,” he smiled before chuckling bashfully. “No, but really, when I asked you for dinner that day at the fate I was expecting you to turn me down.” 

“How come?”

He looked down at his drink, lifting a shoulder. “I thought you’d think that I was crossing a line… or maybe the spark I was feeling was all in my head and in reality you just found me really annoying.” 

That was cute. He’d been doubting himself. Human after all. Not that you’d ever thought he wasn’t. You still didn’t miss the opportunity to joke around though. “I mean, both can exist simultaneously.” He taking a sip of his mocktail when you replied so he ended up snorting into his glass, amused by your wit. 

A moment or so passed and Seokjin gazed at you, smiling softly. If he kept this up, you’d be a puddle on your parquet flooring. “So, tell me,” he hummed. “How did I luck out so good?” You raised an eyebrow, wondering what he meant. “How come an amazing person like you isn’t married or in a relationship?”

He must’ve seen the slight shock on your face and panicked instantly. “Is that a weird thing to ask? I feel like it is. I apologise.”

“No,” you insisted, sitting up a little straighter. He followed. “No, it’s not.” You wanted to open up to him. You really did. You just didn’t know where to start. Although, it was pretty simple. “I’ve been single for a while.” 

“How long?” Seokjin was instantly focused, attentive, noticing the change in your body language. 

“Three years. My last relationship didn’t end very well.” You paused, wondering if you should continue. But then… It had been a massive part of your life. No matter how much time had passed and no matter how okay you were now, it had still happened. And Seokjin, he had trusted you enough to open up about his divorce – even before you’d gone on your first date. You wanted to talk about it. You really did. 

“I found out my fiancé was cheating on me.”  

Seokjin’s eyes widened, unable to cloak his surprise. He hadn’t been expecting that. “I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” you smiled. “It was rough getting over it. Took me a while, but it is what it is. It’s in the past now.” 

“Did it put you off dating?” 

You were pleasantly surprised to find it was actually easy to talk to Seokjin about this. Your mouth was opening before you had to think about it. “I mean, at first. I was still very much in love with him, even after he broke my heart. But I got over him and I started dating again – briefly – It just didn’t feel right.” You stopped to smile. “It’s been over a year and I can’t say I missed it… but you…” Nerves growing, you pushed them away. “You’ve changed that. I’m having fun.” 

Seokjin’s face lit up and he chuckled. “I did hit second date status after all.” 

“You did…” 

“So,” he leaned closer, a small smirk on his face. “You could say, hitting your car that day wasn’t actually my fault because it was supposed to happen.” 

You snorted as you laughed, head falling against the back of the couch. “I wouldn’t go that far.” 

He made a sound. “But we wouldn’t have met otherwise.” 

“We would!” You exclaimed. “The parent-teacher meeting.” 

He blinked, feeling dumb. “Oh, yeah.” 

It wouldn’t have had the same effect, granted, but you would have become acquainted with one another regardless. “Would you have still liked me?” You asked without thinking, surprising yourself. 

“Yes,” he replied immediately. “I was instantly attracted to you after all, it’s just…” Instantly attracted? Definitely a charmer... “There would’ve been no way for me to get to know you like I did.”

You narrowed your eyes. “You’re really adamant that you had to reverse into my car to make this work, huh.”

He shrugged casually. “It was the only way.” 

You laughed quietly, finishing the last of your drink. Time was getting on, it was pretty late, Seokjin had already finished his, you watched him sit up to lean forward and place the glass on your coffee table. His shirt tightened across his shoulder blades and you could see his back muscles as he stretched. Oh.  

Settling back into the same position, he looked over at you and grinned. His teeth were perfect. Did this man have zero flaws? Why were you so whipped? It was embarrassing. 

“I had fun tonight,” you told him, trying to keep a lid on whatever was going on with you right now. 

He seemed pleased with that, nodding his head. “I’m happy to hear that you think I’m a fun person.” 

You scoffed, body falling closer to his. Your shoulders brushed together. Seokjin didn’t take his eyes off you. “Hm. I don’t think I said that.” 

“Hey, don’t be so mean.” He murmured, one side of his mouth quirking up. 

Like you couldn’t stop yourself, your hand reached for the collar of shirt. He had the top two buttons loose and your pinkie finger brushed against his collarbone. Sparks flew, but you tried to ignore them. “I thought you liked it when I was mean.” You teased, voice low. 

Seokjin hummed, his eyes still twinkled like they always did but there was something else to them, a depth that made you feel funny. He sunk closer to you. So close you could study the thick curve of his eyelashes, notice that both his eyelids were different. He really did have beautiful eyes. You could stare at them forever. 

Preoccupied, you slowly realised that he was watching you too, studying your features in the golden glow of the floor lamp that hovered over the couch. His lips parted, you heard them rather than saw it, but then your attention was on them again. Just like it had been earlier on in the night. He was staring at yours too as he spoke. “I wanted to kiss you last week.” 

You heartbeat quickened but you tried to keep cool. “You did kiss me.” You laughed. 

He sighed. “On the cheek.”  

You lightly tugged his collar, fingertips now brushing the skin of his chest. “Isn’t that what you said you wanted to do?”

You could feel his own heartbeat against your forearm that was pressed into him. It was definitely running a little faster than it was supposed to – stronger. “Yes, but…” He glanced up to your eyes. “I was just being polite. I wanted to kiss your lips.”

It felt like you were holding your breath. Maybe you were, you just couldn’t think straight. Time seemed to stretch out, but you knew what you wanted. So you went after it. Giving him a small smile, you replied. “Maybe I wanted that too.” 

He swallowed, voice so low now it was barely a murmur. “Is that an invitation?” His eyes bounced to your lips again, then back to your eyes as he asked permission. “Can I kiss you?”

You ever so slightly dragged your bottom lip beneath your teeth as you nodded, breath catching in your throat as Seokjin leaned forward and closed the distance between you. The hand in between your bodies moved to delicately hold the wrist of your arm against his chest, holding you there as his other hand reached for your jaw, angling your face to press a kiss to your mouth. His eyes were already closed so you followed. 

He hummed at the contact, his lips soft and warm and you let yourself sink. His actions were light at first, faint as he kept constant pressure, as if he was familiarising himself with the sensation. You couldn’t even let yourself think about how this was the first kiss you’d shared with someone for a very long time. All that was going through your mind was how good it felt to be touched like this by him. 

He readjusted the hand on your face, tucking some hair behind your ear to cup your cheek. You liked that. You liked it when he touched you, and he eased from your mouth completely before coming back with a firmer pressure. It was your turn to make a sound; a tiny gasp as your lips began to move together ever so slowly. He liked that, a hum of satisfaction vibrating against the soft skin of your lips. You clutched at his shirt, gathering the crisp cotton in your fist, that would surely turn it creased, but he didn’t seem to mind. He was too preoccupied with reaching for the glass you’d forgotten was hugged to your body by your free hand. 

He unclasped it from your fingers and had no choice but to break away from your mouth to put it next to his on the coffee table. You whined, attempting to tug him back to you, and he chuckled, taking a hold of one of your hands. “I’ll be back,” he whispered, leaning forward to place the cocktail glass down. 

And he was. 

This time he used both of his hands to grasp your face and dive back in. He was more confident this time, moving in such a way his lips pried yours open. You reached for his shoulders, grasping them to hold him closer and this time you both made noises – sweet, quiet ones that worked beautiful together as your lips moulded with gradual urgency. 

When your hands found the nape of his neck, fingers through his hair, he had to drag the tip of his tongue across your bottom lip, seeking entry. You met it with yours, tasting hints of pomegranate and lime with each wash of tongue. A hand of his slipped down to your side, stroking up and down the curve as if he couldn’t help but to touch you. He settled at your hip after a moment, the other splayed against the side of your neck, his thumb rolling small circles under your cheekbone. 

This was getting addictive. You could tell by the way you moaned softly against each warm, wet curl of his tongue. This was everything you’d imagined and more – because you had imagined it. Late and secretly at night when you were trying to drift off to sleep and thoughts of lasagne were banished… You were glad your first kiss was here, inside, on your couch, because this wasn’t something for the open, your knees wouldn’t have been able to hold you up. 

You could have kissed him forever, you mean, you definitely didn’t want it to stop but you pretty much had to. Breathing was a necessity, right? If you couldn’t breathe you wouldn’t be able to ever kiss Seokjin again and that would be absolutely awful… 

You did it the right way though – gradually. Seokjin slowed it right down, only hints of his tongue left as he hummed indulgently, like he was savouring your taste before he had to inevitably pull away. It made your insides jump around like crazy, hearing him enjoying himself, and you tried your best to come to when he started easing the pressure of his lips, pressing small, chaste kisses to them instead as you ultimately (but slowly) broke apart. 

You opened your eyes, blinking up at him, hands falling from his hair, aware you had become one with your cushions. You struggled to free yourself as he sat back and you watched him smile fondly at you. His breath was shaky – so was yours, and you were sure his hands trembled slightly as one reached up to scratch the back of his neck. His neck that was blotched with red, flushed, travelling to his cheeks. They were rosier than you’d ever seen them before. Your gut stirred. 

“I’ve been dreaming of that,” he told you, before making a face at himself. “Too cringey?” 

You giggled – it sounded foreign. “Just a bit.” But didn’t deter the fact you loved it. 

You warmed when you felt him squeeze your hip, realising his hand was still there and you reached for it, tangling your fingers with his. He pulled them to his mouth, kissing your knuckles softly. His expression was thoughtful when he lowered your hands. “In all seriousness, thank you for giving me a chance, after well, you know, everything.”

You smiled, touched by his earnestness, but it was hard to keep a sane mind when his lips were as kiss bitten as they were – deep pink and glistening. You wanted to kiss his face off. 

“It’s no problem,” you quipped, as if you were doing him a favour. 

He chuckled tenderly, and luckily for you he was unable to stop himself from kissing you again. He reached forward, hooking a finger under your chin to press his mouth to yours softly. “I’d really love if we could keep on doing… this.” He murmured. 

“The dating or the kissing,” you grinned, stealing another kiss in the process. 

“Hm,” he contemplated. “Both preferably.” 

And then you were on one another again, eager once more. 

Although, you did manage to pull away briefly to tell him something, his mouth moving to the side of your face to kiss there instead as your hands dragged down his back. You were somehow able to get the words out – ones that made him laugh against your wet jaw. 

“I’m so glad you hit my car.” 

Written 2020 - 2021.  Please refrain from posting my work elsewhere. No translations allowed. © floralseokjin 2021

#seokjn fanfic #bts fanfic #jin fanfic #floralseokjin:writings #fic:mls

[sugarsugarmoon]

Summary: Kim Seokjin had always been in your life. Like satellites you seemed to revolve around the same center, always coming back together. He had been the friend that would always be a constant in your life. When everything in your life starts to change and you feel like the trajectory of your orbit has changed, Seokjin is there to both hold you down and throw you even more out of control.

Genre: fluff, angst, smut

Warnings: recreational alcohol use, swearing, infidelity, unprotected sex (wrap it up kids), bad dad jokes (I’m so sorry), a lot of tension, sexual and otherwise. It’s actually pretty vanilla.

a/n: I am weeeeeeaaaaak. t’s unedited. I promise I plan to go back and fix all the typos at some point this week.

Pairing: ksj x reader

Word Count: 10,888

When you open your eyes, you see Kim Seokjin beaming at you from across the cake, smoke swirling up between the two of you. You scoop up some icing from the cake and, in what feels like slow motion, wipe some of the blue sugar on Seokjin’s nose. You giggle at the sight of him. He sticks his fingers in and scoops up cake and frosting and wipes them across your cheek. Before it can evolve into a full-blown food fight, your mom gets between the two of you, giving you both a stern look. The two of you giggle, much to your mom’s chagrin. 

Most of your memories of your childhood feel like this. The most consistent thing in your memories from your childhood is Kim Seokjin, his smile, his laugh, and the way you always felt safe around him. The two of you running around outside between your houses, in the same neighborhood but one street apart. Sidewalk chalk coating your fingers and your knees. Sweat trickling down your brows and skin turning red in the summer heat. Gloved fingers throwing snowballs in the winter months while giggles filled the crispy air.

The two of you were inseparable. That is...until middle school.

When you were in middle school, Seokjin asked you to go to the dance with him, and you were so embarrassed that you’d immediately rejected him. Both of your faces were bright red as you told him that you couldn’t be seen with him because everyone would think you were interested in him. You regretted saying it to him almost immediately, but the damage had already been done.

The two of you drifted apart after that. He avoided eye contact with you in the hallway at school, and you felt guilty but never enough to say anything about it. Seokjin continued living his life. You saw his name on the posters for school plays, running for class president, and always around with his friends laughing.

Of course you voted for him and quietly sat in the back of the amphitheater for every production he was in. You never told him. You never told your friends, but you loved him despite your selfishness. Your group of friends in high school never knew about how inseparable you and Seokjin had been, and you assumed his didn’t either.

In April of your junior year of high school, your parents told you that you would be going on a trip that summer to a home that they’d bought in Buan, near the Yellow Sea. You’d be spending the entire summer in South Korea, even though you hadn’t been there since you were a child. You were excited to be able to spend the summer in another country, but you were pretty bummed that you were going to have to spend the whole summer away from your friends, Gwangju the only big city nearby.

Even though you were apprehensive, at the end of May, you said goodbye to all of your friends and promised to message each other online every single night, even though you’d be in different time zones. You cried through the whole airport and even on the plane sitting next to your mom.

She just kept whispering, “shhh,내 새끼 (Nae saeggi), you will love it. We will have so much fun,” while she held your hand.

After a while, you fell asleep holding your mom’s hand, wrapped in one of those thin airplane blankets. When you woke up, you were landing in Korea. The rest of the day was a blur, but you will never forget the moment that you first saw the Yellow Sea. The mountains off in the distance creating a scalloped silhouette against the sky, and the water meeting the shore creating a whirlwind of different blues and greens. It felt like something shifted in you, like you were meant to be here.

When you went inside of the little blue cabin, your breath was taken away. The wooden cabin felt homey and comfortable. Your mom showed you to your room, and you were floored by the view from the bay window. You hardly even noticed that there were two beds in your room when you started unpacking your clothes. You tried to put the pictures of you and your friends all over the room along with small trinkets from your life back home. It started to feel like your own.

As you were about to settle in for a nap, you hear your mom’s voice in the kitchen along with a few voices that you recognize but can’t quite place. When there’s a young male voice, you start to put it together. Before your brain can even form his name, your mom pushes the door opened followed by the last person you expected to see here. Seokjin.

“y/n, the Kims have arrived,” your mom said like you knew that they were coming or something.

“엄마!! What are they doing here?!” You jumped up off of the bed straightening your clothing and smoothing your hair.

Your mother’s face flushed, and she flew across the room to you, pulling you close to her. She whispered in angry, fast Korean, and you only caught bits and pieces. You didn’t need to know exactly what she’s saying to know that you’d embarrassed her, and she was upset. Your face flushed, and you felt the warmth in your cheeks. Hanging your head, you look at the floor in front of Seokjin’s mom’s feet. 

“I’m so sorry. I was just surprised,” you mutter, your tone ashamed.

“It’s all right, y/n. I imagine Seokjin and Seokjoong were surprised as well. We didn’t tell you kids that we would be spending the summer together,” she approached you, taking your hand in hers. “We will have a wonderful summer, dear.”

Your eyes met hers, and they were soft and caring. You felt a sense of comfort looking into her eyes. While you looked at her, you saw a small movement out of your peripheral. As the movement continued and the shuffling sound increased, you turned to see Seokjin being pushed by his father into the room, a stuffed alpaca under his arm. He dragged his rolling suitcase behind him and settled next to the second bed in the room.

“W-what is going on?” you stammered.

“Well, y/n,” she looked between you and Seokjin, “because there are only four rooms, you and Seokjin will share this one.”

“What?!”

You turned to your mom exasperatedly and stomp your foot. She’s looking at you with fire in her eyes. “You will share the room with Seokjin, and you will not complain.”

Your eyes met the floor again. “Yes, 엄마.”

You grumbled to yourself in your head, but you turned back to Seokjin, shot him a dirty look, and turned back to your bed. You flopped down with a heavy sigh and popped in your earbuds. There was nothing you could do about it, and you weren’t going to push your mother further about how it made more sense to you for Joong to share a room with Jin. Your mother and the Kims were more traditional, and, because Joong was the oldest, he had the right to more privacy and his own space.

The first night was a lot of huffing and sulking from both you and Jin. You made sure to sigh loudly any time that he crossed to your side of the room to hang his clothes or put away his shoes. After the initial shock, the two of you floated through your days near each other without interacting for weeks. You would go down to the water on sunny days, lying on the beach, swimming, and enjoying the heat of the Korean summer. On the rainy days, you would curl up on your bed and read the same book you’d already read because you hadn’t thought to bring more than one. Seokjin did his own thing, and you only ever saw him before bedtime.

One evening in July, you decided to come back early from the shore to shower and try to talk to your friends online. You lay in your bed, tapping away happily on your computer, looking up when the door opened. A yelp rang out from near the door. Your head snapped around and standing before you was Seokjin in a white bathrobe, face tinted crimson and long, slender fingers grasping firmly at the fabric to pull it closed around him.

“Oh god! y/n! You aren’t usually here at this time. I thought-” Seokjin stammered. “I didn’t...and you…”

Seokjin didn’t leave, didn’t move. He just stood in front of you. Your hands fly up to cover your eyes, and you scream “I’m sorry!”

After what felt like 10 minutes, you finally heard the door to the room shut, and when your eyes opened again, Seokjin was no longer there. You felt the heat in your face, and you weren’t sure what you were going to do to make things less awkward between the two of you. Seokjin didn’t come back that night; you assumed he begged Seokjoong to sleep in there. You avoided Seokjin for a week. If he was at the dinner table, you told your mom you weren’t hungry. If he came down to the beach, you suddenly needed to go send an email to your friends.

On the last night of July, you were watching the sunset over the water and behind the mountains. You were so rapt in the beauty of the moment, thinking about how it would be perfect to come here with a lover as an adult that you did here the person approaching you from behind.

“I think,” the voice started, and you jumped, “that we should probably figure out a solution to our mutual discomfort.”

Seokjin was now sitting beside you on your blanket. He pulled his knees up toward his chest, wrapping his arms around them. The long, broad-chested young man that usually inhabited Seokjin’s body was replaced by a boy, cradling himself. There was a vulnerability in Seokjin’s face as the pinks and oranges of the sky reflected off the surface of the sea.

“I’m totally cool with pretending the bathrobe thing didn’t happen if you are.” You nudged him with your shoulder. “Besides, I didn’t see anything anyway.”

His hand moved up and cupped the back of his neck. You could see a faint blush in his cheeks and on his ears. You rested your hand on his knee and tried to psychically force him to look at you with your mind, but his eyes stayed trained on the fading pastels in the sky.

“You know…” he paused as if trying to think of the right words to say. He shook his head as if deciding against what he was going to say. “What bathrobe thing?”

He laughed that unmistakable Kim Seokjin laugh and slapped his knee. But he still wouldn’t look at you, so you knew something was still weird between you. You turned back to the sea and watched as the sun dipped completely behind the mountains, painting the sky even more vivid with its reflections on the water.

“Seokjin, if something is still not okay between us-“

“Shh,” he cuts you off. Then the two of you sat in silence until the only light in the sky was the low-hanging full moon and the porch light on the cabin.

You didn’t want to be the first to move, so you sat still, staring at the sky speckled with dots of light. You couldn’t see the stars so well in the city, and here there was still light pollution. But it was nice to look up at the sky and see the hints of stars. Finally, Seokjin moved beside you.

When you turned, he was looking right at you. “You know that you really hurt me, right?”

“With the bathrobe thing?! How?”

“No, y/n, don’t be ridiculous. In middle school. When you told me that you couldn’t be seen with me? That hurt me so much.”

You were glad that it was dark enough that he couldn’t see the blush in your cheeks.

“Seokjin, I was just a kid. I didn’t mean to say that you weren’t worth being seen with.”

“Of course not. I’m very handsome.” You could hear the smirk on his mouth, the wink in his eye. “But we did everything together anyway. And I had the biggest crush on you. I thought that was my chance, and you just kinda stepped all over my heart. I’ve moved on, but we’ve never cleared the air. You never even said sorry.”

You thought back on the conversation and the days and weeks following, and you realized that you never really explained to Seokjin and certainly never said that you were sorry. You were the reason that your friendship changed. You were the one who did the damage.

“Seokjin, I’m so sorry for the things I said then. I know it’s been years since I did that, but I never meant to hurt you. It was my own insecurity. I thought that if I went to the dance with you that no boy would ever want to talk to me because they’d think you and I were together. Now, I realize that the only boy I wanted to talk to me was the one I pushed away.”

Your hand found his, resting gently on his thigh. You squeezed it three times, not breaking eye contact with him.

He shifted his body slightly, so he was turned more toward you. And you followed his lead. “I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me, but it’s been so hard without you,” he whispers.

You didn’t realize how close he was until you felt his breath on your lips. “Seokjin, I’m sorry. I should have seen what was right in front of me.”

Your voice was wavering, and his eyes kept moving to your mouth. You were fighting looking down at his pillowy lips because you knew what would be inevitable if you did. But did you want to fight that? Or did you want to feel the way that his mouth felt against yours? His breath against your skin, close and intimate? Was this what you wanted?

“You really should have seen what was right in front of you. I’m so handsome; you must have been blind,” Seokjin laughed slightly from the back of his throat.

With his second mention in the five minutes of how handsome that he was, you decided that you were taking this far too seriously. Seokjin was joking and having fun, and you should have been having fun too.

Your body leaned in, moving even closer to Seokjin. Close enough that your nose could touch his cheek. You’d decided to let Seokjin make the final move. He closed his eyes and started moving toward you. Just as your eyes fluttered  shut and you felt the ghost of his lips against yours, you heard an all-too-familiar sound.

“y/n! Seokjin! It is dark! Get inside now!” your mom shouted from the doorway of the cabin.

Both of your heads whipped toward where she stood, breaking any chance of a special intimate moment that you may have had together. You scrambled to stand up and put distance between yourself and Seokjin, and you yanked the blanket off the ground as soon as he stood up.

“Uh...y/n,” he started, trying to clear the air once again.

“Seokjin, it’s fine. Let’s not worry about it. We’re cool, right?” The words spilled so quickly out of your mouth as you started to walk quickly toward the house.

“Yeah. We’re cool.” His voice trailed behind you, in a slightly disappointed tone.

The rest of the summer had continued as if the moment on the beach never happened. Seokjin was around more and more with you, and the two of you started to feel more natural together again. It was like almost no time had passed. You picked on one another and shared secrets in the dark lying across the room from one another. One week, the two of you even adventured into Gwangju together, exploring Mudeungsan National Park and 1913 Songjeong Market. Gwangju was so beautiful, and you were so happy that you got to experience it with Seokjin.

When August came, it was time for the two of you to go back home and back to real life. You felt uneasy about what your relationship would be like, but you’d hoped that Seokjin would still be a part of your life.

It was a weird transition at first. You hardly spoke Korean at home, and you forgot that people wouldn’t initially address you in a language that you struggled with. Your friends had a hard time adjusting to Seokjin hanging out with you more often, tagging along to movie nights. Seokjin’s friends seemed happy to have you around, but he was very protective of you around his male friends, keeping a hand on your lower back.

Other than the initial awkwardness, slipping back into friendship with Seokjin was easy. You felt like you didn’t have to try as hard as you sometimes did with other friends. He already knew everything about you and your family and your past, and you knew his. The two of you were inseparable. 

Seokjin was, of course, elected prom king, and you cheered wildly for him when they announced his name at the dance. He threw flying kisses at the whole crowd, and he turned to you and made eye contact, throwing a finger heart right to you and winking. You’d blushed deeply and turned away. You wondered why the hell you’d felt like that, but the moment passed. You let the thoughts that had been racing through your head go, never allowing yourself to dwell on them.

The two of you hosted your high school graduation party together and spent every moment of the summer together except when you went on a trip with your girlfriends to the beach.

Things started to change again between you and Seokjin when you went to college. He was studying film, and you were studying pre-law. Your course load was strenuous, even from the beginning. You’d chosen to take an additional class each semester in order to earn your paralegal certification by the time that you were a junior, so you could work in a law firm while you finished school. Seokjin was usually busy working on filming or editing or auditioning for something. The two of you had so much less time together than you used to.

You did make time to have dinner together in the dining hall once a week, and you’d catch up quickly on what you’d done over the course of the week. It didn’t last past the first semester though. One of you would cancel because you had a study group or a date or an activity off campus. And soon enough, it wasn’t expected anymore.

In your junior year, you’d started working at a law firm in town as a paralegal, and you felt like you were becoming an actual adult. You really enjoyed putting on your professional outfits to go to the office, when you’d spent the last two years in sweatpants with your hair in half-hearted messy buns. You felt like a professional. An adult.

Something that helped you feel even more like an adult was the young lawyer, Nam Joohyuk, who was just 6 years older than you, was the main lawyer that you worked with. He was so handsome that you couldn’t believe sometimes that he was actually a lawyer and not a model.

He talked to you like you knew what you were doing, not a complete idiot like the other lawyers did (which you felt like most of the time). He’d invited you to a couple of Happy Hours with the firm, which you had to pass because you still had coursework to complete. You couldn’t help the crush that you developed on him because he was handsome and kind and an amazing attorney.

In your senior year, you decided to let yourself have a little bit of fun because you usually said no to parties or anything that might interfere with your studies. You knew you had a lot to do, but a party or two couldn’t hurt. 

One party was at a junior boy’s house, who you had met a few times. You went with some of your friends from your program, who seemed thrilled that you were going out for once. The house was packed with people, the air hazy and the smell of weed and cigarettes hanging low, creeping into your nostrils. People with red cups stood around while the loud music boomed in the speakers. As soon as you were deep into the house, you remembered why you didn’t like house parties.

You followed your friends, and you got a drink from the kitchen. A few of your friends disappeared into the crowd, looking for other friends or boyfriends or crushes. You stood awkwardly in the kitchen, unsure what you should be doing except drinking. 

“I would never have expected you to be here,” a familiar voice half-shouts across the kitchen.

When you trace the voice back to the source, the shining, slightly red face of Kim Seokjin is staring back at you. You smile broadly, a little tipsy yourself. It was nice to see Seokjin’s face, and you were thrilled that someone you knew was here. As you looked up into his face, you could see that his eyes were glassy with the haze of alcohol, but you didn’t mind because he had such a warm smile that reached his distant eyes.

“Have a drink with me?” you asked, as you started to mix up another drink in your cup.

“Of course,” Seokjin responded, closing the distance between the two of you.

You stood together in the kitchen sipping the concoction that you’d made, which was not good, and catching up about what each of you had been up to. By the time your cup was empty, you had giggled so hard that your cheeks hurt. When you turned around to the counter again, you felt Seokjin’s body move behind you. His fingers wrapped around your waist, and the tips danced lightly on the skin of your tummy just above your pants. He buried his face in your hair and breathed deeply. You jumped a little at the contact, but you didn’t push him away.

You let him continue to touch your skin, and when his mouth found the delicate skin of your neck, you couldn’t help the small moan that escaped from within you. You pushed your ass back against him, and you felt his cock hardening in his jeans. The thought that his hardness was caused by you made your heart pound, and you felt the heat of the thought in your core. Your fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, flitting tenderly through the wisps of hair there.

“y/n, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted this,” he growled into your ear before biting down on the lobe. His tongue started to explore your neck and collarbone, and you moaned again, dropping your other hand to the counter to steady yourself. Seokjin’s hips started a small motion against your backside, rubbing your clothed ass to achieve some relief.

You turned your head slightly toward him, and his mouth found yours. Finally, you felt his soft lips on yours, moving slowly but purposefully. His tongue was sloppy and lazily exploring your mouth. This kiss, though drunk and sloppy, was absolutely worth the wait. You weren’t sure that you’d felt this aroused in months, desperate to have his hands on every inch of your body.

And then, as fate would have it, your phone started ringing loudly from your pocket. It blared the tone that you had set specifically for Joohyuk, and you couldn’t imagine that he would be calling you at 12am on a weekend unless it was an emergency.

You turned your attention away from Seokjin and held up a finger to him, trying to flash the most apologetic possible look to him. You scurried off toward the backdoor, answering the phone as soon as you were outside in the quiet and fresh air of the night.

“Hello?”

“y/n! What are you doing right now?” a slightly slurring Joohyuk asks.

“I’m out with my friends,” you half-lie, “what is going on Mr. Nam? Is there something you need from me?”

“Well...there’s one thing I need from you,” he giggles.

Was he drunk? What the fuck was going on? You were sure that he was far too professional to drunk dial his paralegal, and, besides, there’s no way that he was interested in you. You were just a dumb kid, and he was way out of your league.

“Mr. Nam, are you all right?”

Your concern seemed to shock him out of whatever weird mood he was in.

“Oh, y/n. I’m so sorry. It’s late. I’ll see you on Monday.”

He hung up, and that was the end of that conversation. Puzzled, you made your way back to the kitchen to find Seokjin. Much to your dismay, he wasn’t where you’d left him. So you shot him a text.

You: hey, are you all right?

Seokjin: yeah, I just needed to head home. I’m so sorry

You couldn’t tell what exactly he was saying sorry for, but you decided to let it go. You found your friends and told them that you wanted to head home because you were tired. Your head was foggy from the booze and the party and the weird phone call. All you could think about was the way that Seokjin’s lips felt on yours. His fingers on your skin. The warmth of his body pressed against yours. As you sat in the back of your Lyft home, you shivered thinking about the lack of warmth being shared with you now.

You’d tried to reach out to Seokjin several more times since the party but to no avail. Eventually, you’d figured it was probably just a drunken mistake that he regretted. If anyone asked you, you would have said you’d regretted it too. Even though you knew that wasn’t true. How could it possibly be true? So many almosts with Seokjin.

You continued to work at the firm, growing closer and closer to Joohyuk. The Monday after his awkward phone call to you, he had awkwardly apologized for the drunk dial and promised it would never happen again. You usually weren’t forward, so you had no idea what got into you. You smirked and responded, “well, I certainly hope it will.”

You’d blushed, dipped your head, and scurried away to the file room before he could respond. When you think back on it, that was probably the day your relationship with Joohyuk had shifted from strictly professional to more friendly. You were sure that being slightly rejected by Seokjin the weekend before had something to do with it, but you never told anyone about what happened in that kitchen that night.

When you graduated from college, your parents had hosted a graduation party with the Kims for both you and Seokjin. You were a little bit embarrassed that all of your achievements had to be shared with Seokjin, and you hadn’t really spoken to him since that night. The party was more for your parents than anyone else, so you let it happen. 

That night, you drank a little bit too much, and by the time the party had wound down, you were drunk, sitting alone in the backyard.

“Hey,” Seokjin said as he plopped down in a chair next to you. He was holding a beer in his hand and wasn’t looking at you.

“Oh, hey. I figured you didn’t want to talk to me, so I kinda just minded my own business all evening.” You could hear the venom in your own tone, but you didn’t care because you had so many unanswered questions that you knew he’d never answer.

“Whoa, when did I ever say that I didn’t want to talk to you? I think I would remember saying that?”

The fake laugh that escaped from within you carried all the animosity that you were feeling. “You didn’t have to say it, Seokjin. You were too busy saying nothing.”

You cast your eyes to the sky above you, searching for any hint of stars in the sky, and, when you had no luck with that, choosing instead to lock your eyes directly on the moon.

“y/n, I-” he started.

“Save it, Seokjin. If you thought that kissing me that night was such a horrible mistake, you could have at least still been a friend to me. But you disappeared. Were you so ashamed of having kissed me that you had to completely cut me off?” The tears started to swell in your eyes, and you felt the booze heightening your sensitivity. You didn’t get up and leave, hoping he’d have some kind of explanation that made up for the past 6 months.

“y/n, it wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it to you. I just...I was an idiot.” The sincerity in his voice didn’t make up for the betrayal and rejection that you were feeling.

“Yeah. You were,” you retorted as you got up and started to walk away from him.

“Please, wait!” he moved after you and grabbed your wrist. You didn't turn toward him, but you stopped walking.

“y/n, you have to know that I never meant to make you feel rejected or hurt,” he spoke softly and gently, with a delicate care like his words might break you. You’d hoped he would have had something better to say.

“Well, Seokjin, it may not have been your intention, but you did it anyway.”

You wiggled your wrist free of his grasp and walked away from him quickly. You made your way into the house and locked yourself in your childhood bedroom. Drunkenly, you sat on the edge of your bed crying into your hands.

Just then, your phone dinged from your back pocket. You half-expected it to be another apology from Seokjin, and your heart sunk when it wasn’t.

Nam Joohyuk: I am so proud of you for working so hard. In three years, you are going to be the greatest lawyer this world has ever seen. I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your party. I got caught up writing these briefs.

You blinked the tears out of your eyes. When you were hurting, it seemed like Joohyuk just knew that you needed someone. He had a way of always being there to support you and tell you that he was proud.

You: Well, if you’re free now, I’m drunk and vulnerable. Come over?

You figured it was worth a shot, and, if he rejected you too, then you would be in the same boat you were already in.

Joohyuk: be there in 20

That was the night that you and Joohyuk first kissed. It was chaste and gentle in the front seat of his car. You’d tried to move further with him, your hand sliding over the belt around his waist. He had, seemingly begrudgingly, stopped you because he said that it would feel like taking advantage of you.

Instead, he took you to an all night diner and bought you pancakes, which you scarfed down. You hadn’t realized you hadn’t eaten all day, and that was probably why you were so drunk and emotional. He rested his hand on your knee as he sat next to you in the booth, and something about Joohyuk’s presence made you feel safe. You smiled up at him, a dumb drunk smile, and kissed him again.

Things with Joohyuk were always easy. You didn’t feel rejected or unwanted by him. You knew exactly where you stood with him. He was so nice and caring and sweet, but there always seemed to be something between the two of you. You really weren’t sure what it was.

***

Three years later, you were getting ready to graduate after a gruelly time working through law school. You had taken and passed all of your exams. You were in the top five students in your class, and law firms were already scouting you, though you weren’t quite sure what you wanted to do.

You didn’t tell Joohyuk that you’d been applying for some positions abroad as well because you weren’t sure how he would feel about it. The two of you had been together for the last three years since you started law school, and you were content and comfortable with him and your life together. You weren’t sure that you were happy, but he was supportive and loving. You loved him, right?

The week after graduation, you received a phone call from a law firm in Gwangju asking you to go to Korea and interview for a position in their main office, though they had satellite offices all over the country. You knew that you couldn’t pass up the opportunity to interview for such a highly paid position at such a prominent office.

Breaking the news to Joohyuk finally was difficult. He stared at you confused and slightly hurt.

“But, y/n, I thought that you were going to stay at the firm with me?” he asked, softly.

“That’s still a possibility, darling, but I have to see where this opportunity could take me. Please support me with this.”

You’d tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear, and he had smiled at you, nodding.

“Of course, I will. And maybe when you come back, we can take some steps in our relationship?”

The hope in his tone scared you, but you didn’t tell him that. You’d simply nodded and turned back to your computer to respond to the email you’d received from the firm. You weren’t sure that you were ready to take anymore steps with Joohyuk, but you knew that when you came back you would have decisions to make.

One week later, you were on an airplane, headed to Gwangju. You hadn’t been back to Korea since that summer in high school. Images played through your head of that summer, playing on the beach with Seokjin. You could see his face laughing in your mind, the sound of his laugh echoing off the walls of your skull. It was almost painful reliving the memories, knowing that your friendship with Seokjin had ended that night in your parents’ backyard.

Your visit to Gwangju wasn’t anything transformative. It was a typical interview, but you did feel like you nailed it. You spoke Korean with them, and, in your head, you patted yourself on the back for remembering to use honorifics, which your mother constantly yelled at you about the few months that you’d been here together. You explored the city a little bit after your interview, eating as much samgyeopsal and kimbap as you could shove into your mouth.

Since you were in Korea anyway, you’d decided to make the 2 hour train trip to Buan to visit the cabin. Your mom had been renting it out as an Airbnb while they weren’t there, though she and your father had gone a couple of times since you’d been there. When you told your mom that you were going to interview in Gwangju, she’d practically shouted that you needed to go to the cabin and make sure everything was all right there. She wasn’t sure that she trusted the housekeeper that she’d hired because the last time she’d been there, there had been some residue in the bathtub. You’d chuckled quietly to yourself at your mom’s impossible standards of cleanliness but promised you would check up on the place and clean anything that needed cleaned.

As you approached the front of the cabin, you had been flooded with emotions. Memories of your family, the Kims, and all the things that you had forgotten from that time. You unlocked the door and stepped into the still house. It seemed like it had been untouched since you’d been there seven years earlier. There were a few updates in the kitchen and different linens on the bed, but everything else was exactly the same. You stood in the bay window looking out at the sea, and tears trailed down your cheeks. You weren’t sure why you were crying, but you knew that you had some big decisions to make.

Even though you were the only one there, it felt weird to try to sleep in your parents’ bed or the Kims’ or Seokjoong’s, so you unpacked in the same room that you’d shared with Seokjin years before. You had planned on staying two weeks in the cabin and then returning home after you would hopefully know where you would be working. You napped curled on top of the covers of the bed and ordered dinner to be delivered.

The next day, you decided to open the bay windows and paint the mountains and the water. You set up the easel that your mother had reluctantly stored for you all these years and the watercolor paints that you’d brought with you. You put your headphones in and painted for hours, different color palettes and patterns, happy to drown out the real world for a day.

As you sat there, completely focused on the scene in front of you, you didn’t hear the door unlock or the man come into the room. He must have come from the other direction up the road because you probably would have seen him walk past your window. Then again, you were so focused on what you were doing, maybe you’d just missed him.

A hand was laid upon your shoulder, and you screamed, flinging paint everywhere. You knocked over the easel, painting splattering on the floor and the window. It took a moment for you to recognize the face that was behind you because you were blinded with fear. Soon your focus and concentration starts again, and you see Seokjin standing with a look of horror on his face.

“Kim Seokjin, what in the actual fuck are you doing?!” you screamed. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and your breathing was heavy. You felt the tears start to swell in your eyes like they usually did when you were scared.

Seokjin crossed the small space between the two of you and wrapped his arms around you. You pushed him gently, but he kept his grip.

“y/n, I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I didn’t know that you’d be here, and I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Finally, you stopped resisting his embrace, and you fell forward against his broad chest. He held you like that for what felt like a lifetime, while your heartbeat slowed to normal and your breathing became more controlled. When you’d relaxed yourself enough and all the fear had melted away, you leaned back from him.

“So, seriously. What are you doing here? My mom said I’d have the place to myself.” You give him a look of consternation to let him know that you are upset that he ruined your plans.

“Oh goodness, well maybe your parents didn’t communicate. I came to Gwangju for an audition, and your dad asked me to drop by and fix a couple of things while I was nearby. I think your parents didn’t communicate,” he laughed softly.

“That, or they just didn’t care. They didn’t tell us we’d be here together last time either.”

You turned your attention back to the mess you made, and you slap your hand over your forehead. You begin to collect your brushes, palette, and papers from the floor, unsure of how you’ll clean up the paint.

“Hey, y/n, let me clean that up. It’s the least I can do since I almost scared you to death,” Seokjin offered, putting his hands on either side of your shoulders and moving you away from the mess. “Seriously, go take a bath or something and relax. I’ll clean this.”

You nodded and made your way to the bathroom on the first floor. You were glad that Seokjin offered to clean it because you were pretty upset that he’d spilled your paint and ruined your painting in the first place. You took a long bath, soaking in the warm water and letting some of your stress dispel into the water. This was the first moment you’d taken to actually relax since before you finished your exams for law school.

When you’d finished your bath, you walked out into the main area in your bathrobe. You smelled the smell of Galbi, Kimchi Jjigae, and Mandoo. Your mouth waters at the aroma that fills the room. You wander into the kitchen, and Seokjin turns when you clear your throat. His eyes widen as he sees that you are clad only in a bathrobe. He clears his throat and turns his eyes back to the pans in front of him.

You giggle. “Now, we’re even on the bathrobe front, Seokjinnie.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again. What bathrobe incident?”

The two of you laughed together as he continued to work over the multiple dishes that he was making. He seemed happy to make traditional Korean meals, and the way that he furrowed his brow as he tasted the soup made you smile. Something about seeing him in his element like this made your heart soften like butter left on the counter too long.

He plated up the dishes for the two of you, and you sat on the high bar stools at the counter eating the delicious creation he made. You had giggled as he slurped his soup and told dad jokes while he ate. You had forgotten how much you’d loved moments like this, and it was so easy to slide right back into things with Seokjin even after years of separation. There was still a pang in your heart each time you looked at him for the things that had gone unsaid for so long.

After eating, the two of you cleaned the kitchen and all of the dishes and then moved to the living room. You sat on the couch together talking and giggling. You didn’t even realize that you were still in your bathrobe as you sat knee-to-knee with Seokjin. Looking directly at him, you noticed a few flecks of blue paint settled on his cheek next to his mouth. Not realizing you were staring, you leaned toward him to get it off, your fingers moving up toward the flawless skin.

“Uh...y/n?” Seokjin asked in a hesitant voice.

At that moment you realized exactly what this looked like. To him, it looked like you were looking at his mouth, leaning toward him, bringing your hand up to his cheek. Oh my god! He probably thought you were going to kiss him.

And that’s what brought you to this moment, sitting next to him, face scarlet, hands in your lap.

“Seokjin! It wasn’t like that. You have…” you can’t even bring your mouth to form the right words.

He’s giggling watching your face blush and taking in all of your features. His hand grasps yours between your legs and squeezes it three times. You look up at his face, even though you feel shame and embarrassment from the miscommunication.

“I should have texted you,” he says, looking down at where your hands meet. “I just didn’t know what to say. I figured you’d only done it because you were drunk, and I felt like I had taken advantage of you in a vulnerable state.”

When his words process in your mind, you realize that he had been thinking the same things that you’d been thinking about the night at the party. You and Seokjin had never communicated about it, so you each thought the other regretted that moment.

“Seokjin, you have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that. I thought that you were ashamed of what you'd done and that you’d only done it because you were drunk!” you exclaim, shifting toward him.

You see him smile and then his eyes widen as his eyes land on your chest. He chokes a little, and you finally look down at yourself. Much to your embarrassment, your bathrobe has shifted, slightly revealing your breast, areola clearly visible. Your nipple is hard against the thin, white, silky fabric, and you, once again, feel the heat in your face. It feels like everytime that you are with Seokjin, you are blushing about something. You pull the fabric back tight around you, covering all of the skin you’d accidentally exposed.

Seokjin shifts awkwardly, rips his eyes away from you, and stares at his hands in his lap. He starts giggling to himself. You’re already embarrassed enough, you can’t believe that Seokjin is laughing at you.

“Hey, y/n,” he starts. You are terrified of what he’s going to say. “What do you call a pop star with huge nipples?”

He continues giggling as you look at him baffled. Your jaw drops, and no words will escape your mouth.

“Areola grande.”

He laughs his windshield wiper laugh and slaps his knee. You chuckle softly. Leave it to Seokjin to make a dad joke when he’s just seen your breast. You shove him with your shoulder and stand up to head to your room to get dressed. Seokjin watches you leave the room, and he looks slightly disappointed as you disappear around the corner. 

You poke your head back into the main room and shout back. “Hey, the other girl I met a girl with 12 nipples.”

He gives you a confused look, but there is a grin starting to spread across his face.

“Sounds weird, dozen tit!”

You giggle so hard that you snort, and you throw your head back in laughter. Seokjin bolts off of the couch toward you. His arms snake around your waist, and he pulls you close to him.

“That’s it,” he growls at you. “I need you, y/n. Is this okay?”

His lips hover just over yours as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear like a fucking movie. You nod vigorously, and he immediately slams his mouth into yours. It’s passionate and wild, and his teeth catch your bottom lip. You moan softly as he releases it and use your tongue to search his lips and his mouth. Your tongues are dancing together in your mouths, as your hands explore each other. His hands slide up and down your hips and your ass outside of your bathrobe.

He pulls back from you for a moment, his eyes searching yours. “Why are you so fucking perfect?” he asks.

Before you can say anything in response, his mouth is one yours again. You can feel all of the longing that you’ve felt to press your mouth against his since that day on the shore seven years ago. You needed him then, but you need him even more now. Everything in your life is changing, Seokjin is always there. He is the constant in your life.

Your fingers slide under the back of his shirt, and you feel his taut skin stretched over his muscular back. The heat building in your core is undeniable, and you pride yourself on not being shallow, but fuck if Seokjin’s body isn’t amazing. You’ve wanted to see it ever since that day you saw him in his bathrobe. You wanted to see the chest underneath, his nipples, the skin of his thighs, his shoulder blades, his belly button, and, of course, his cock. You’d imagined what all of it looked like in your head more times than you would ever be willing to admit. You want to savor these moments because you’d been waiting so long. That day in the kitchen, you’d gotten so close, but now you think it might be your time.

You hesitate for a moment, realizing that Seokjin could disappear again at any moment. He must feel the pause because he pulls back from you.

“Is everything all right, y/n? Are you not enjoying this? Oh my god, did I read this wrong? Were you just looking at me like that because I’m so handsome?”

You laugh, once again. It seems like you’re always laughing when Seokjin is around. “No, I was actually looking at you like that because you have paint on your face. But I want this. Please Seokjin. I want this.”

You stare up at him, trying to project all of your desire into your gaze, and it must work because he groans and pulls you closer against his body. He presses his lips to your neck and your collarbone.

“Why don’t we take this to our shared childhood bedroom?” he asks as he pulls away and winks.

“When you say it like that, it sounds absolutely disgusting,” you retort, shoving him again.

You lead him by the hand into the bedroom, and, once inside, you undo the tie on your robe. It stays on your shoulders for now, and your finger seductively beckons him toward you. You swear you hear a whimper come from him, and he closes the distance between you.

His fingertips are smooth against the skin on your sides as he slides them beneath your robe. You take that moment to push your fingers up under the front of his shirt and yank it over his head. He shakes his hair out and pulls you even closer to him. The skin from your chest meets the skin on his, and the skinship makes you immediately melt. 

Your mouth traces along his collarbone, leaving small nips and bites along the way. You sink your teeth into one of his shoulders, and he inhales sharply but doesn’t stop you. You smile to yourself. Your fingers struggle slightly with the button on his pants, and he laughs slightly, bringing his own hands to help you.

He slides his jeans down his hips and stands before you in his black boxer briefs, hard cock clearly straining against the cotton fabric. Your jaw drops slightly as you see the size of the bulge, and you look up at him, with a look that could probably only be described as wonderment. He chuckles and loops his finger under your chin. He pulls your mouth to his for a gentle kiss, and you can’t believe that you’ve waited this long to experience all of these things for the first time.

You slip your robe from your shoulders, standing before him completely exposed. Your nipples are hard with arousal and the slight chill in the air. You feel yourself pinching your shoulder blades together, trying to make your breasts look more young and perky because you know that gravity has already started taking them. Joohyuk once commented that both your nipples pointed downward in an offhand joke, and you hadn’t been able to look at them in the mirror since.

“Holy shit,” Seokjin mutters. He leans into your ear, kissing the lobe softly. “Relax.”

Even just the simple action of him being impressed and turned on by your body makes you feel so much more comfortable with him. You can’t wait any longer, and you slide your hand into his underwear. As your fingers slide around his girth, you feel how soaked you are, the slickness sliding down your inner thigh. Seokjin groans as you slowly stroke him under his underwear.

His hands trace a path up from your things to your breasts. He takes each of your nipples between his fingers and rolls them gently. The stimulation causes you to arch your back and moan. You aren’t sure how you are growing even wetter with his ministrations.

“Seokjin, please. I’ve waited so long. I need you.”

He doesn’t hesitate any longer. He slides his boxer briefs all the way down his hips and steps out of them. He picks you up and lays you down gently on his bed. He climbs on top of you, kissing gently on your collarbone, chest, and finally on your mouth.

“You have no idea how badly I want this,” he whispers against your lips, and your heart jumps in your chest. “I don’t think I’ll last long.”

You chuckle to yourself. “Jinnie, I don’t think I’ll last long either. But we have a lot of time.”

You hadn’t called him Jinnie since you were kids, and the pet name seems to soften his expression slightly. He dips his head to kiss you again. He grips his cock around the base and aligns himself with your entrance. You draw your knees up on either side of him, wrapping your ankles around his back. When he pushes into you, you gasp. The way that his cock stretches you plus the anticipation of this moment makes your eyes flutter shut. He slides slowly into you, burying his cock inside of you.

After you’ve adjusted to him, Seokjin starts to move his hips quicker, establishing a rhythm that drags against the spot inside of you that makes your eyes roll back slightly. With Seokjin buried inside of you, nothing else matters. All you can remember is the sensation between your legs and the way that Seokjin’s body feels on top of you.

Seokjin’s breathing is ragged, and you feel yourself coming upon an orgasm already. You couldn’t believe that your emotions could affect your sexual sensations so much, but you didn’t want to spend another moment without Seokjin inside of you.

“y/n, you’re so fucking tight. Fuck. You’re fucking perfect,” Seokjin huffs out against your neck.

“Jinnie,” you trail off as you feel yourself pulse around his cock. Your mind goes blank and all you see is whiteness in your mind. It’s like your mind has been completely purified of all the darkness that existed inside of you, and you tumble over the edge of your orgasm. You feel all the tension and stress of the last few months melting into the mattress as Seokjin thrusts inside of you.

His cock twitches, and he’s moaning your name over and over while he paints your walls with his hot cum. You topple into another orgasm as you feel him filling you up. Nothing has ever felt more worth the wait than having Seokjin’s cum inside of you. Soon the two of you come down, and your sweaty bodies stop moving together.

He lies on top of you for a little while, crushing you slightly, but you don’t mind too much. You’re too happy to care about being squished. If you weren’t his completely before, you certainly were now. You can’t imagine spending another day without Seokjin in your arms and in your bed. But that, of course, means that you have to end things with Joohyuk. For now, you just wanted to cherish this moment, trying not to let yourself think about the possibility that Seokjin didn’t feel the same way.

The next several days, you and Seokjin spent cleaning and doing projects around the house. You also made love in every single room of the house. You went to the beach and watched the sunset like you did as teenagers. Everything felt new and wonderful. In the middle of the second week, you got a call from the law firm in Gwangju officially offering you the position. They gave you two weeks to think about your decision and get back to them.

You wanted to take it, but you had to talk to Joohyuk first. It was unfair of you to fuck someone else while you were with him and accept a job in another country without telling him. You put thoughts of your boyfriend out of your head and focused your attention on the man who you’d spent the last two weeks with nonstop. You were so fond of Seokjin, but you weren’t quite sure where he stood. You didn’t want to push him and end up pushing him away. You enjoyed the time that you had with him, and when it was time for you to leave you kissed him for an hour before you finally had to call a taxi or you’d miss your flight.

Back home, everything felt surreal. It didn’t feel like your own life anymore. You had moved out of your university apartment after law school, so all of your stuff was at your parents’ house. You expected that you’d probably move in with Joohyuk when you graduated, but now, even if you weren’t with Seokjin, you were sure that you didn’t want to be with Joohyuk. You weren’t ready to break his heart, but it had to happen.

You called him and asked him to meet you at your parents house. When he arrived you met him in the front yard, and he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you around in his arms. You laughed awkwardly, not knowing how to make this situation less uncomfortable. When he put your down, you decided to just rip off the bandaid.

“Joo-” you started.

“Before you say anything, I want to get a good look at you and ask you something,” he interrupts. 

You stand awkwardly before him while he admires you, and suddenly, you feel dirty for what you’ve done. You didn’t even really consider that what you’d done with Seokjin had been cheating. You just thought that it had been fulfilling your destiny, doing what felt right, what was inevitable. But with Joohyuk looking at you with love in his eyes now, you realized what you had done had not just been realizing that you didn’t want to be with him. You had cheated. A lot.

After he stares at you for a minute, he drops down to one knee in front of you.

Oh fuck.

“y/n, you have made me so happy these last three years, and I’m hoping that you’ll-” he gets cut off by the sound of someone out on the street.

“Seriously, y/n?! Seriously?”

It’s Seokjin. He has pulled his car over to the side of the road, and he is looking at you exasperatedly.

“No! Seokjin, wait! It isn’t what it looks like!” you shout, while Joohyuk looks up at you bewildered.

“Oh, so you aren’t currently being proposed to by another man after you spent two weeks having sex with me in Korea?”

Joohyuk’s smile drops off his face, and he looks between you and Seokjin over and over. He’s clearly confused and hurt and disappointed.

“It’s not like that, Jin. I was about to tell him.”

“What?” Joohyuk blurts out.

“Whatever,” Seokjin shouts dejectedly and drives off.

Tears start to spill from Joohyuk’s eyes. “I’m going to get off my knee now,” he mutters.

“Joo, you have to know that I never meant to hurt you. I’m so sorry. I realized that I wasn’t happy, and I know now that I want to take the job in Gwangju. This isn’t what I wanted for my life. I just want to be happy. Can’t you see that?”

You feel the hot tears rolling down your cheeks. This is not how you pictured this conversation going.

Joohyuk looks at you deep in the eyes. “All I can see is what this night could have been.”

He stalks off toward his car and drives away from your parents house and from your life. You know that you fucked up bad, and now the man that was the only one who could make you happy is gone too. You don’t know how you’re going to convince Seokjin that you were trying to break up with Joohyuk, but you decide to take the night to think about it.

The next day, you’ve formulated your plan, and you are ready to execute it. Your mom asked Seokjin’s mom for the spare key to his apartment, and, because the two are so close, she gave it up right away.

You knew that Seokjin would be out all day, running errands that his mom asked him to do. You really had an amazing ally in his mother. You snuck into his apartment, with all of your supplies in two paper grocery bags, awkwardly carrying one on either side of your hips. You worked for hours getting everything ready.

When Seokjin’s key slides into the lock, you are standing in the living, surrounded by pink flowers and fairy lights. It takes him a moment to process what is in front of him, but when he sees you, he looks slightly disappointed. It’s okay, you kind of expected that.

“Don’t you have a fiance to hang out with?” he asks with acid on his tongue.

“No. I don’t,” you state blandly. “And I hope that you’ll give me two minutes to explain.”

“One minute,” he responds, like you knew he would.

You take the game hourglass timer that you have in your hand, turn it upside down, and place it on the table.

“When I hooked up with you in Buan, yes I had a boyfriend, and I did cheat on him with you. I was unhappy with him, and honestly, I didn’t realize that it was because I’d just been waiting for you all these years. When you saw us, he had come over to propose, but I had invited him over to end things with him. He’s nice and caring, but he isn’t you. You’re all I want, Seokjin. I made a mistake, and I hope that you can forgive me and give me a chance. I ended a three year relationship because I was so hopeful that things would work out with you that I couldn’t stand to put that in jeopardy by being in a relationship. But I messed it up anyway”

The last of the sand falls through the hourglass as you glance down at it, and you look up at him. His expression is hard to read because it is so stony. The two of you just look into each other’s eyes for another moment.

“You swear it’s over with him?” he asks.

“Of course. You’re all I want, Jinnie.”

“y/n, you have no idea how badly I want to be with you, b-but I have to tell you something first.”

You feel the tears starting to build in your tear ducts, but you force them down. “Tell me, please.”

“I’m moving to Gwangju at least for a while because I was offered a role in a K-Drama, and I’ve accepted it. If we were to be together, it would be long distance, and you know how that goes.” His hand goes up to the back of his neck, and he diverts his eyes from yours.

“Okay, well, two things about that.” You can hear that your tone sounds sarcastic, and you laugh to yourself in your head. “First of all, you and I could make a long distance relationship work, I believe that with my whole heart.”

“y/n, it’s so hard. With time zones, everything is just extra challenging. I’m not sure that’s what either of us want.”

“Well, let me finish then,” you retort. “Second of all, I accepted a job offer at a law firm in Gwangju, so I’ll be moving to Korea in two weeks.”

Seokjin’s jaw drops. “Shut the fuck up.”

“I will not.

A smile spreads across his features. He strides across the room to you, picks you up in his big arms, and presses his mouth against yours. You kiss for several minutes, Seokjin’s arms wrapped around you.

The two of you spend the rest of the evening making love on the couch and talking about your plans for living in Korea and adjusting to Korean culture. You feel so overwhelmingly excited that you have Seokjin finally and that he will be the person who is with you as you enter this new chapter of your life. You decide that you have some time to work out the details, and right now, you just want to be with each other.

That night when you are lying in bed, your head rests on Seokjin’s chest. He pushes your hair out of your face, like he does, and he looks down at you.

“Hey, y/n?” he whispers.

“Yes, my wonderful Seokjin?”

“How long have the moon and earth been together like this?” 

You aren’t sure what he’s saying. You open your mouth to respond, but you see on his face that he’s doing something.

“You’re my planet. I’m just a moon to you. I’m just a little star for you that lights up your heart, but you are my earth. All I see is you.”

You start crying again. How does he say the sweetest things like that like it’s nothing to him?

“I love you, Seokjin,” you whisper up at him.

He wipes one of the tears from your cheek and presses it to his lips. “I love you too, y/n.”

#btscafe7 #btswritingcafe #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #ksmutclub #seokjin smut #jin smut #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #kim seokjin #kim seokjin x reader #bts x reader #bts smut #bts moon #seokjn #jin #bts jin #bts fanfic #nam joo hyuk

[linyi-is-dreaming]

One Way Out - Part 17

Story: BTS x Y/N

Category: Smut, Mystery, Abusive Relationship, Crime, Angst

Summary: After Y/N’s last break up, she tried to get her ex off her mind. Parties, one night stands, nothing helped except only one thing that helped her the most: her now boyfriend Hoseok. They became from friends to friends with benefits and after a while they both confessed their feelings for each other and started dating. But the calculation was made without her ex, Yoongi. Who does not come back on good terms. 

 Chapter 17: The Hunt

Y/N freezes at the sound of the gunshot in the second she hears it. The gunshot echoes through the woods as the fear becomes stronger. She grabs Tae's upper arm strongly in panic. “Tae?”, Y/N asks with a shaking voice. From her perspective, she is able to see that his eyes are directed to where the gunshot has been coming from. To not waste any time and to not be pulled into a sea of questions by her, he avoids the eye contact. Tae’s heart starts to beat faster as another gunshot becomes hearable from the same direction. When he looks at Jimin, he can see that he is also looking in the same direction. Jimin can feel the eyes from Tae on him. He turns his head to look back at him as his heart starts to beat faster too. It is a silent agreement from both of them, but both understood. There is no time to stay on the same spot any longer. 

“Keep running!”, Tae yells. The more their run, the more Tae hopes, to gain a bigger distance between them and Jungkook. As they keep running deeper and deeper into the woods, the worse and worse became their view. There were way too many trees which block the few into the distance. The danger to drip over the sticks and stones which are all over the ground, is becoming more. Jimin said during the planning that no matter if Tae or Jimin might get hurt, will stay behind and the other one keeps on going with her. Those words are going through Tae’s mind as he realizes that the shots are coming closer. “Y/N, faster!” She is running to careful and not as fast as the other two. Tae tries to drag her by her hand to make her run faster, which worked for a little while. She tries her best to keep up with them but whenever another gunshot sounds through the woods, she startles. Tae can feel her shaking every time she startles but he chooses to ignore it. Jimin stops from time to time to look back just to check if he can see Jungkook anywhere. 

“I think we need to separate here.”, Jimin suggests. “He is coming to close.” They run for a few more minutes with the gunshot sound coming even closer. The sound of a gunshot is followed by another one within a few seconds. “Tae, stop and listen.” Jimin grabs his arm to stop him as Tae refuses to listen to him. He needed his attention now, not later, now. “Listen, I will run in this direction and you run with her to Yoongi.” With his hands he shows him the directions he is talking about. The disbelief in the faces of the others are clear to see. 

“Are you out of your mind? How do you think that this will work?” Tae wants to take the gun off him to give it to Jimin but Jimin stops his movement. He shows with his right hand that he denies the gun. “You have no gun on you! Take mine with you at least.” 

“You will need it more. How else do you want to protect her? I will go without it.”  

“That is practically seen suicide!” Tae continues to run whilst holding her hand for a few more minutes until Jimin stops them once again. “No! We stick to our plan.”, Tae says whilst he grabs him by the shoulder to drag him along, but Jimin refuses to. Tae’s mind is spinning to find the quickest way to change Jimin’s mind without wasting too much time. The fear that he might run into the wrong direction, especially with no gun on him, worries Tae the most. 

“I will be fast. All I need is to distract him long enough.” Jimin’s eyes look for another route as Tae tries to get some sense into his mind. No matter what Tae says, no matter which words he used, Jimin ignored it. 

“I will not let him kill you! As soon as he will see you, he will shoot you!” The gunshots still continued to fill the woods which makes all three even more nervous. “You are coming with us just as we have planned!” Tae notices as he starts to walk that Jimin is still on the same spot. “Why don’t you finally move?” 

“Because we also said, if the plan needs to be changed, we change it no matter how as long we reach our goal.” 

“Your job is to bring her back, not to be killed!” 

“You are right about my job, but you are the only one with a gun. Which means you stay with her. I will run so that he sees me and starts to follow me. Once he does that, I will run away from him and come to the other side of the woods.” 

“That is not part of the plan, Jimin! In case you did not listen to me: he will shoot you as soon as he sees you!” 

“Do you think I don’t know that?” Jimin licks his lips quickly as he looks at her before he looks back at him. “I have the phone. I will call when I arrive on the other side, besides you mentioned that the city is not far from there.” 

“I said he will kill you! Do you even care at all?” 

“He won’t get me. I’ll be careful.” 

“How? How do you want to do that? There are so many open spaces over there. If he hides well, he can shoot into your back!” 

“You have more time to run if I keep him distracted.” 

“Listen to yourself!”, Tae screams. Y/N holds on Tae’s hand tight in hers as her worries get the best of her. “You stay with us!” 

“Bring her to Yoongi. I will try my best to get to the other side of the woods.” Jimin starts to run into a different direction and much closer to the sound of gun shots. Y/N could not believe her eyes. That Tae did not follow him, is the other thing that she could not believe. 

“Are you crazy? Jimin!” Tae wants to continue to run but the worries for Jimin grow as he tries to call him back. “Jimin, come back! Jimin!”, Tae screams but Jimin is already too far away to get him back. Y/N watches him helplessly screaming. Her voice feels numb as her body starts to shake. 

“Tae?”, Y/N asks worried. “Should you not go with him? You have the gun!” Tae sighs as his eyes water. He tries to avoid her eyes to not show her his emotion and to not confirm her fears. “I remember the woods as much as you do probably, Jimin has never been here before.” 

“He will make it, he said it himself. I trust him. We have to trust him.” On the inside, he knows that his chance is only thirty to seventy to make it out alive. “We have to keep running.” Y/N’s eyes were still fixated in the direction Jimin ran off to. Tae’s hand has still a strong grip on hers, which makes it is easier for him to drag her along. The closer they came to where Yoongi is supposed to be waiting, the more gunshots seem to fall. Then at least five gunshots sound through the woods, one following the previous one. Tae stops as he realizes that her hands start to cramp. 

“Please tell me it is not what I think it is!”, Y/N begs as her tears start to stream down her face. Then a typical gun sign of Jungkook fills the room. Ten shots within twenty seconds. “Tae?” Tae’s face turns pale as her words ring through his ears. 

“It also could have been someone else. Maybe Yoongi or Jin are closer-” 

“Jungkook mentioned something about a shot every two seconds for ten times. Is this what it means?” Tae turns his body in her direction and pulls her closer. 

“Does it matter right now? Listen, I warned him. He did not listen to me! You heard him yourself.” Tae looks into the direction from where the shots were still coming from. “We have no time to think about it now. Listen, Yoongi is not far from here anymore.” 

“But Jimin? I thought he is your friend?” Tae keeps walking whilst he drags her along. He cannot risk to stay on the same spot any longer, even if they would just walk. As long as they keep moving, everything should turn out well. 

“He is my friend. Even if Jimin got shot, at least the third bullet must have killed him.” Tae starts to realize that her body does not seem to work in the way she wants it to. Therefore, he stops to walk for a second. 

“How do you want to know that?” That she does not move, drives him almost crazy. He wonders, what she is thinking when she keeps standing still. “How could you even know?” 

“Because I have seen him doing these multiple times, I know how he places the ten shots.”, Tae says as he looks into her eyes. His eyes start to look cold whilst the first tear drops from his eyes. He finally showed an emotion in front of her. It is the first time that she has seen a real emotion in his eyes. “Do you want to see Hoseok? Huh? Then we have to run!” Y/N keeps her head down as they continue to run. The only thing she is thinking about is to finally see Hoseok again and that gave her a little more strength. She felt like her lung is about to give up, breathing has become more difficult. At this point she battles with herself, if she should quit or give the little, she has left to give. “I think we are almost there.” Those words were the words she needed to hear. As they get closer to the edge of the woods, they realize that the car of Yoongi is not in sight. “Where are they?” Y/N starts to look around to see if she might see his car. “Let’s go to the parking lot. Maybe they can see us over there better than over here.” Y/N nods in agreement as she follows him towards the parking lot. When they start to walk on the road, a car drives with a fast speed towards them. “I think that must be them.”, Tae pronounces. As the car comes to a hold in front of them, it becomes more and more clear who is sitting in the driver seat. Tae takes a deep breath as he puts her behind his back with his arm. Relaxation sets in when Yoongi and Jin step out of the car. Yoongi wastes no second as he rushes to Y/N’s side. His palms are immediately on her cheeks as he looks up and down her face. Tae lets go of her hand and walks towards Jin. 

“Y/N! Are you alright? Did you get hurt?”, Yoongi asks as he takes her into a hug tightly. The joy and luck he feels, makes him forget his surroundings. “We heard some gunshots. I was so worried about you. I cannot see any wounds. Are you alright?” 

“I am fine.” Her voice sounded weak. The sweat on her face makes her face shine even though, her eyes tell a different story. 

“You don’t sound like it.” He lowers his head to look into her eyes again. He places his palms on her the side of her face as he wipes her tears off her face with his thumb. 

“It’s just... Jimin...” Yoongi does not ask any questions as he pulls her head onto his chest, he looks over the shoulder to look at Jin. Tae does not seem to be in a better mood than her. He looks even worse. It is more than clear, Jimin will not come. Yoongi wants to hear an approval of his thought, but at this moment he knows that he should not ask to many questions. 

“Good job, Tae!”, Jin compliments. “You must be thirsty. I have water for you in the car. Get in.” Y/N walks right behind Yoongi to follow him to the car. Yoongi opens the car door for her as he looks in the direction, they have just come from. When Y/N was about to thank Yoongi for opening the door for her, she can see that Jin is looking into the distance, just like Yoongi does. 

“No need to keep on looking.”, Y/N sobs. “We heard gunshots and after Jungkook’s gunshot sign, we only ran.” Tears stream down her face as lowers her head. Yoongi uses his sleeves to dry her tears off her face. Her eyes are closed as the emotions overwhelm her. When he looks at Tae, he can see that something is bothering him too. The only difference is that he seems to have his emotions under control. With no further questions, he helps her into the car and gets to the driver seat. “He said he will call if he makes it to the other side, but I think this call will never come.”, Y/N adds as she keeps looking at her feet. Yoongi battles with himself if he should drive or change the seat to sit next to her. Now that she is finally back, he wants to keep her in his arms. Yoongi also wants to tell her everything will turn out alright, but on the other side, he feels helpless. The pain she must go through again, just because of someone he trusted. Because of someone, he said he would protect her from. Yoongi wonders, if she would have not met him, would she still be in this misery or would Jungkook leave her alone. Is this all happening because he helped her once before or is it all happening because he has been a step ahead once at the wrong moment. He removes his fingers from the keys and looks into the rearview mirror, only to see that she cries on Tae’s chest. Tae’s arms were around her body to comfort her as he moves his arms up and down her upper arms to comfort her even more. 

“I am sorry.”, Tae says quietly. Those might be only little words but for both of them it has a strong meaning. Tae wanted to say some nice words but he could not find the right words to say as he watches her crying her pain out. At this point he wants to let his emotion go but he fears that she will cry even more. “I wished he would have listened to me. I wished I would have been able to stop him from doing that mistake.”, Tae says as he recalls what happened in his mind. Jin looks to the backseat with a confused look on his face. His eyes make contact with Tae’s immediately. 

“Tae, do you mind to explain what happened?”, Jin asks as Yoongi starts to drive off. “We have a long road ahead of us.”  

“Yeah. But let her fall asleep first.” Y/N’s eyes were already falling close but she tries to fight her urge to sleep. Once her heart starts to beat slower again and her tears seem to stop to fall from her face. Her eyes fall shut of tiredness. 

The drive was truly a long road just as Jin predicted. Y/N fell asleep in Tae’s arms as he leant his head on top of hers. His arms were still tight around her body to keep her close to his body. Whilst both of them seem to sleep, Jin and Yoongi do barely speak. Yoongi’s eyes go automatically from time to time to the mirror to see if she is still sleeping. He is happy, she is back, but he would still prefer to be the one to hold her. Yoongi wished to know how to turn back time, just to change a few things that happened which would not lead her to the situation she is in now. Once their car is parked in front of their stay for the night, he turns the motor off. Yoongi breathes deeply for a minute before he leaves the car. 

“Y/N, hey. We have arrived at our stay for the night.”, Yoongi whispers. He spoke as softly as he could to wake her up slowly. Y/N opens her eyes whilst she turns her head in his direction. Tae moves his head to the side of her neck when he feels that she is moving. “Come on. I’ll take you on my back.” Tae’s hold on her becomes tighter when he feels her movements. The way he pulls her closer to his chest is almost automatically. “Tae, let her go. I got her.” Tae looks around until he realized where he is at. Tae nods when he sees Yoongi’s face in front of him. 

“Tae, look at me. It’s fine. Get out of the car.”, Jin tries to assure Tae that he does not need to worry. Yoongi takes her hand carefully to help her out of the car and he helps her to climb on his back. Tae looks at the surroundings as he steps out of the car. The environment looked familiar, but Tae could not tell why it does. Then he remembered a little detail to why it could be familiar. 

“Wait, isn’t that your old home? That is your old apartment.” Tae says as he gets out of the car. “Don’t you think he knows that we might be here?” 

“No. The old one looked similar to this, but this one is a different one.” Tae looks over his shoulder to see that Yoongi carries Y/N on his back as he walks towards them. 

“You definitely did not eat enough. You feel a lot easier than you used to.” Y/N puts her arms around his shoulders as she lies her head on his back. “We will see what we can make for you.” 

“I’m not that hungry.”, she mumbles. 

“Liar. Let’s see if you say this later too.” Yoongi locks the car and gives the car keys to Jin. “Maybe it’s better you also take the key for the apartment.” Tae looks around and takes a few looks at the cars. “I don't think that he would start to look for us here.” 

“That was not my thought.” As Tae looks around to see if he is missing something he should see, Jin starts to grin. 

“You never change, huh? You are still the same mistrusting person as usual. You should relax a little.” Jin places his palm on Tae’s right shoulder and pushes him to start walking. Yoongi follows right behind them whilst he can feel that Y/N’s tears are wetting his shirt. 

“Aren’t you afraid he might come here?”, Tae questions Jin. 

“We are only staying for the night and we will not stay long enough for him to find us.” Jin’s voice sounds like he does not even seem to bother at all. 

“He knows all the houses and apartments you two own and you think he will not come here?” 

“Tae, this apartment is not even signed by me or Yoongi. Besides, I just told you. It only looks similar to the old one. But this is another one.”, Jin explains as he unlocks the door. 

The apartment looks kind of lovely, but dark centered. A lot of things are in grey or in blue, barely in any other color. There is no decoration which would show that someone is living here. “I will bring her to bed. Jin can you start to cook anything for her?” 

“Yeah. I will make some sandwiches or maybe something warm if I find something.” Yoongi nods as he walks away to find a bedroom for her. “Tae, you mind helping me?” 

“I actually wanted to wash the sweat off my face.”, Tae sighs. “But I also wanted some alone time to collect my thoughts.” 

“As kids we used to help my mom in the kitchen to collect our thoughts, do you remember?” Tae shakes his head as he would say no. “It might be long ago, but give it a try. We will see if it works again.” Tae is still watching Yoongi as he still carries her along the hallway. For whatever reason he feels the urge to go with them, but Jin will not let him go. “You should not worry about her. She will be just fine.” 

“My mind is not only filled with her. I also think about the deal. The deal Jimin made for me. I mean does the deal still exist even though Jimin is dead?” The thought of Jimin’s death makes his eyes watery. 

“Jimin made a deal for you? No one informed me about it... What kind of deal?”, Jin asks as he moves his eyebrow. “Is it even a signed deal?” For a second Tae wondered why Jin would think that he would be informed about it, but he does not want to investigate in it any further. 

“When we finally bring her back, I will be able to go back to the police academy. I hope I will only have to do two years instead of all five.” A surprising look appears on Jin’s face. “But no, he said he handled it with his boss before he came back to us.” Tae does not want to tell him that it is a signed deal. It already seems like Jin does not want to hear any of it. Therefore, he says nothing else about it. 

“Well, that is awesome.” The way Jin says those words sound as he does not think it is as great as he pretends it to be. “I am glad that you will have a new start.” 

“It doesn’t sound like you mean it.” 

“No, I sincerely do.” Jin starts to put some ingredients together. “I guess it will be a cold meal.” 

“How did you plan to bring her back?” 

“Huh?” Jin does not even a spare a look on his cousin whilst Tae is looking eagerly at him. 

“I said, what is the plan. How do you want to bring her back?” 

“Well, so far we only planned to bring her here. Tomorrow we will-”, Jin stops in the middle of his sentence as he hears the stamps of Yoongi’s. His steps are clear to hear from the other room towards the kitchen area. Jin starts to wonder why Yoongi’s mood has changed so rapidly. “What’s wrong?” Yoongi’s eyes are only fixated on Tae. The heat that comes from him tells Tae to better walk out of the kitchen before Yoongi might get carried away. 

“You better tell me why she looks like she has met Wolverine!” As Yoongi is coming closer towards Tae, the anger in Yoongi’s eyes become even more visible. At first, he waited until he would get an answer by him, but the quieter Tae stays, the more anger is building up inside of him. Without saying any other word, Yoongi grabs him by the collar of his shirt. No matter how much Tae wants to fight him, he is to powered out to defend himself. With a fast movement he presses him against the wall. “Why don’t you want to tell me what happened? Were you the one who did this to her?” As he moves Tae’s shirt accidentally, he sees black and blue spots on his chest and lower neck. “You too? Did Jimin look that bad too?” Even Yoongi could not care less about them, it might would help to understand Y/N’s emotions even more. 

“Yes. We both received a beating by Jungkook.” 

“What do you mean with we both? Did he beat her up too?” 

“No, he never touched her in that way. Listen, Jimin had received a much harder beating by Jungkook. I was luckier... But I promise you, he never touched her like that.” 

“I don’t care what happened to you! I don’t care what happened to Jimin! If she has not received a beating, what else happened to her? It does not look like nothing happened.” The pronunciation of the words he spoke, made it damn clear to better not keep quiet any longer. 

“She has been handcuffed to the bed that is why there are cuts on her wrists-” 

“I am not talking about her wrists. Jimin told me about the handcuffs, I know why the wounds on her wrists are there! I am talking about her stomach and her chest!” Yoongi grabs him even tighter on his collar. 

“Those on the chest are from yesterday. The wounds on the stomach were already there when we took her out of the hospital.” Before Yoongi can even react to Tae’s words, Jin steps between them. 

“Yoongi, he speaks about the Joker wooden piece.”, Jin intervenes. “You know what Namjoon said-” 

“No. Y/N would have never harmed herself, never.” Y/N has this one pure thing on her, that one thing that he thought he saw. This fighter, who would never give up and who would never hurt herself or someone around her, no matter the situation. Y/N battled with mental illnesses before but she never harmed herself. There is no reason why she would start doing that when they try to help her. “She would have never done that. Y/N would have never done that.” 

“Remember what Namjoon said in the hospital.” Yoongi’s eyes are fixated at Tae’s. Tae can see that Yoongi’s eyes do look like they are on fire. “You saw how stressed she was. Think about it.” Yoongi might be listening, but he is not processing what Jin says. 

“The cuts on her chest? Has she done that by herself too?” Tae shakes his head before he looks back into his eyes. “Who did that to her?” 

“I was there when it happened, those happened accidentally. They happened when I tested if I can remove her handcuffs from her without the key. When the handcuffs were open, she sat up. But because she was blindfolded... I guess Jungkook did not tell her either... But that is why she did not know what lies on her chest! When she got up, the knife fell of her chest and cut her. That is why there are thin, long cuts all over her chest.” 

“Maybe it is the way you say, but what is about the weird behavior?” Tae licks his lips nervously. He knows that this topic is sensitive for Yoongi, especially because he told him to prevent it from happening. “I mean this kissing loving thing and her talk about being a doll?” Yoongi loosens the grip on Tae’s collar. “I know that she does not feel this way about me anymore.” This confession hurts him, but he decided to accept it. He started to except that his love for her is one-sighted. 

“Jungkook said that she is his doll. No matter what he wants her to do, she has to do so. Otherwise she could choose who of her loved ones should be killed first. He used it mostly for one thing.” 

“He used that to put her under pressure? So that he could pressure her into doing things that he wants her to do?” Yoongi let’s go of his collar to step away from him. “I believe that Jungkook would do any unholy thing to reach his goal, but that he steps so far is even a new level of inhumanity. Even for someone like him.” 

“She had to pretend to like him back, so that he would not send the crew on one of you.” 

“What did he do to her? What else?”, Yoongi screams in frustration. “You better don’t tell it is what I am thinking about!” 

“That is what I meant when I said that he won’t hurt her. She became his doll.” Yoongi froze as he looks at Tae. “She had to play a roll. Maybe she is stuck in it because of the stress.” If everything that Tae is telling him is the truth, what might have happened when she was alone with him. The pictures in his head will haunt him for the next few days for sure.  

“That is your fault! I told you to keep him away from her! You promised me, if I let her go, you will prevent that from happening. You fuckin’ promised me that!” 

“I am sorry. I kept him away as long as I could! He would have gotten much faster to her if I would have not done the things that I have done.” Tae takes a deep breath as he leans against the wall. “Listen. I only had this one way of handling it. I tried, but I realized if I would not do that, he would do worse things to her. That was the only way for her to not get hurt as long as she would have to be with him.” 

“She’s hurt! I saw the physical wounds. I don’t even want to calculate what she must go through now mentally. If Jin would not be your cousin, I would kill you on the spot.” Yoongi’s hands were already formed to wrists as the vein on the side of his neck starts to show. 

“We will have to wait until she shows them to us.”, Jin comments. Yoongi puts one hand in front of his forehead to scratch himself.  

“I just want the old Y/N back. I want my Y/N back.”, Yoongi sighs. “I hope you did not try to lie to me again.”, Yoongi says to Tae as he points at him. “I don’t know for how much longer I can let you get away with everything just because you are Jin’s cousin, but the point of me giving a shit about it is coming closer.” 

“Y/N.” The way Jin says her name brought the attention from Yoongi towards her. Y/N walks closer to them as she stops in front of Yoongi. Her hands are in front of her as she starts to play with her fingers for a few seconds before she looks up to Yoongi. 

“He is not lying. He is telling you the truth.”, Y/N admits. Yoongi looks at her for a while before he tries to touch her arm but she moves away. “I could not help but overhear your conversation.” 

“I thought you would try to sleep a little.” Yoongi tries to get closer to her, but she only backs up. “Don’t walk away from me, please. I… I try to understand what happened and what you are going through. I want to help you.” 

“Help me? I am already done. Just say it. Just say what everyone else is thinking of me now.” Tae walks towards them slowly, but he stops behind Yoongi as he sees that it is not his time to intervene. “I know what you think of me now. Just say it out loud.” A tear is dripping down her face slowly as her mouth is slightly open. He looks at her stunned. If anyone would have told him that she is breakable, he never would have believed it.  

“What am I supposed to say? What do you think is what we think?” The way she is thinking and the way she is acting, it confuses him. Anything he does, anything he says seems to be wrong.  

“That I am what I feel like I am.” Y/N fights for a sound to come out of her mouth which apparently does not work completely. “I am nothing more than trash. Hoseok will hate me, if he knows all of it. You probably do it already.” Yoongi grabs her quickly to pull her into her hug. She does not hug him back, but she lets her tears run down off her face. “He will break up with me.” 

“Don't say that. For me, nothing has changed. I still care about you and I still love you. I don’t care what happened between you and Jungkook. I am here for you, just as I promised you. If I am still in your heart or not, I am here for you.” He starts to pet her head. “We’ll talk about Hoseok tomorrow, okay?” Yoongi places a long kiss on top of her head. “I think it is better that you calm down before we talk about anything or anyone else.” 

“Is he alright? Did you hear from him or from Namjoon? How is Namjoon doing? Why are they not here?” Yoongi’s lips move as he would curse but no sound leaves his lips. “Why aren’t you saying anything?” 

“You are way too emotional right now. It won’t do you any good to talk about him at this point.” Tae looks at Jin to get an answer from him, but Jin looks away as soon as he notices that Tae’s eyes are on him. He can see that her face is buried in his chest, therefore he takes the chance walk to Jin. 

“Jin?”, Tae whispers as he stands next to him. “Tell me.” Jin places the plates on the kitchen counter before he turns to him. “What is he hiding from her?” 

“We will talk about it tomorrow.”, Jin whispers back. His whisper is not as quiet as Tae’s but he tries his best to keep his voice down. 

“Jin. Even if it is something bad, what is going on?” Jin puts the knife down as he turns to him. His eyes wander to her before they move back to him. “They have been stabbed. We found them lying in their own blood. Some of their colleagues have been killed too.” Yoongi starts to listen in as he can hear Jin’s whisper. “They immediately blamed us, therefore we had to run. We have the number of their boss, but I just don’t know if we can trust him enough.” 

“What did you just say?”, Y/N asks as she moves her head up to look at Jin. “What do you mean with stabbed?” She pushes Yoongi away to get closer to Jin. The emotions that she feels, are out of control. Tears start to stream down her face again as she tries to understand what she just heard and what she had just repeated. After a few steps, she falls to the ground as her legs are giving in. She falls to her knees and hands as she feels like as she would faint any second. “I took the punishment. I did everything and he promised me to not... I did not break any other rule... I have done the whole punishment. He said, no one has to pay with their life for my mistake. He promised me that.” Tae immediately knees down next to her as he is the one standing the closest to her. 

“Y/N, hey shh.” Tae has his arms around her in a way in which she is not able to move her arms. “Breathe. Y/N, breathe.” Yoongi’s heart breaks in thousands of pieces as he watches her breaking down. This is what he wanted to prevent from happening. This is exactly the kind of pain, he wanted to keep her away from. Tae’s eyes wonder to Yoongi who is sitting down on the armrest of the wing chair as his face becomes pale. It does not take long for Yoongi to break into tears either as he keeps looking at her. She tries to wrestle herself out of Tae’s hold but her body is to weak. 

“Let go. I want to go to Hoseok. He is not dead! No!” Her voice trembles as she keeps moving. “It is not true! It cannot be true! You are lying!” Yoongi gets up to sit down in front of her. 

“Look at me.” Her eye color looks so intense, her lips are dark red and the face of hers look even more pale than Yoongi’s. It takes a minute to make her look at him. “Listen to me. I am sorry, but it is true.” Her head immediately starts to move from the left to the right and back as she would try to show that she disagrees. 

“I took the punishment! He said he would not do it!” 

“Y/N, when did you accept the punishment?” 

“Yesterday. I accepted it yesterday. The handcuffs. The handcuffs were the punishment.” Yoongi looks up to Tae for a second before he looks back at her. “Why?” 

“We found them dead two days ago.” Y/N’s eyes widen as the feeling of betrayal makes her feel sick. Even though she knew she should not trust him, the feeling of maybe hearing the truth from Jungkook’s mouth felt too good to her. She should have known, but she failed to listen to herself. 

“He played me.” Y/N’s body stops moving as she starts to understand that Jin’s words were not a lie. “I was nothing but a doll. He let me believe that I still could help Hoseok...” Tae removes his arms from Y/N. Her body moves automatically towards Yoongi. “Then the crew must be still on your back too, right?” 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“Because I broke three rules... He said he will let the first one go, but then he said someone has to pay because I did not say his name. That is when he killed someone from his crew in front of me. The other two would be forgiven if I take the punishment.” Yoongi’s eyes wander between hers and Tae. “I guess, now I broke another one because I said I will stay by his side which was a lie...” 

“Why did you have to say his name?” Before Y/N could answer, Tae clears his throat loudly. 

“Yoongi, don’t go into it too deep.”, Tae intervenes. “Later. Y/N, what did you mean with the crew is on their back?” 

“Jungkook said, that they are waiting for one mistake of mine. Then he will hunt Yoongi and Jin down.” Tae looks at his cousin who does seem less bothered than anyone else within the room. “I guess the fourth will be the reason why.” 

“Don’t look at me like that!”, Jin says as he walks towards the windows. “We were for sure not followed!” After a minute Jin turns around to look back at them. “There are two bathrooms. Maybe you two should take a shower and go to bed after you have eaten.”, Jin says to Y/N and Tae. “If we should be followed, then we need to make a plan, Yoongi.” 

“You want to plan without me?”, Tae asks. 

“You can join in if you don’t want to sleep yet. But let’s eat first.” Tae walks into the kitchen to pick up the food and brings it to the table.  

“Y/N, we don’t have any spare clothes with us for you. You can throw the clothes directly into the washing machine. There are some towels that you could use to get into the bedroom whilst the clothes are in the washing machine, if it is okay for you.” Y/N nods as Tae turns to Yoongi.  

“We both know, that he either lied to her or he tried to keep her scared.” 

“Either way, we have to make a plan and we have to do one quickly.”, Yoongi suggests as he takes her to the table. 

“Did you even call their boss?” Tae’s question is getting ignored by Jin. “I take this as a no.” 

"It is more important to bring her away first, before we try to bring her back.”  

“Then give me the phone. I have nothing to lose.” 

“Don’t you even consider that Jimin lied to you?” 

“I don’t care what you think about him! I know him better than you.” 

“Of course, you do. Because you have an awesome hand in collecting the right friends.”  

“I was not able to choose! I had to! Did you forget about my sister?” Y/N looks up from the table as their voices become louder. She wants to walk away but Yoongi grabs her by the wrist to hold her in place. 

“Don’t fight.”, Yoongi yells. “We have no time for that.” He looks at her with a comforting smile as he lets go of her. “Eat. We should not waste too much time.” 

“I think we should contact their boss. Maybe he will listen to what I have to say.” Whilst Yoongi keeps eating, Jin shakes his head. 

“Why you? Don’t take it personal Tae, but why are you the one to do so?”, Yoongi asks as he looks up. 

“Jimin said I have a deal. I will pretend that I want to talk with him about it. If he has lied, we will do it your way.”, Tae suggests as he puts his elbows on the table. “If he says the deal does exist, I will tell him that you helped us and that she is in our care for now.” 

“Sounds like a deal.” Yoongi sees that Jin does not seem to like the idea much. “Are you against everything he suggests?” 

“It’s something that I don’t trust about it.” Tae looks at Jin stunned. “Are you still in contact with Jungkook?” 

“Do you have any idea what he will do to me once he finds me?” Tae puts his hands on the table. “He knows that I wanted to leave his crew anyway. If I would go back, he would kill me.” 

“Well then, I guess it will be alright.” 

“I am you cousin for God’s sake. Why are you questioning me? Did I ever lie to you before?” 

“Not as far as I am aware of.” Tae sees that Y/N stopped eating as her eyes are focused on one spot. “Y/N.” He touches her hand softly as he leans in to look into her eyes. “You should eat a little more.” Without saying a word, she leaves the table and goes into the bathroom. 

“I thought about what you said before. About the cuts on her stomach.”, Yoongi admits. “I don’t want to leave her alone longer than a few minutes. No matter where she is, I don’t want her do this again.” 

“What about the bathroom? 

“It stays unlocked. Everyone stays away except she has the door open or lets you in.” 

“You mean I have to watch over her all the time again?” 

“No, not again. I will do take care of her. You two will only jump in when I am not near.” Yoongi says as he gets up. “You two have something to talk about, handle it. I don’t want any fights like this in front of her again. Did I make myself clear?”  

“She has seen probably worse than seeing cousins fight.”, Jin comments without a thought. With one fast punch, Yoongi hits the table which makes the dishes shake.  

“I don’t care. I told you once and I tell you again, Jin. She is my queen. I will protect her no matter what the costs are.” Jin looks at Tae as Yoongi leaves them back alone at the table.  

“Whatever you are thinking. Get it out of your head.” 

“What am I thinking?” 

“I don’t know. It does not look positive. If I’d be you, I’d worry about your money and believe me, they will find it. You know that, as soon as they give you a new start, all the money you have is gone.” 

“I don’t care about the stupid money.” Tae takes the dirty dishes and brings them to the kitchen sink. “I put them away, you wash up. Just like we were kids, you remember?” With those words he leaves the kitchen. As he walks past the slightly open bathroom door, he can see her sitting on the edge of the bathtub with Yoongi’s arm around her. For a minute he watches them both. Even though he wishes that this would be the last stop before he can bring her back, he knows very deep inside, that it is only the silence before the storm. 

#bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfic au #bts fanfction #bts smut #bts fic #bts reactions #bts xy/n #bts imagines #bts fluff #one way out #bts suga #bts yoongi #bts jhope #bts hoseok #bts namjoon #bts rm #bts jin #bts seokjn #bts v #bts tae #bts taehyung #bts jimin #bts jungkook #kim seokjin #kim taehyung #kim namjoon #min yoongi #jeon jungkook #jung hoseok

[ggukgore]

Because of her- Kim Taehyung

Warnings: sexual harassment, mentions of sex, toxic relationships, alcohol consumption

Word Count: 3.8k

Genre: Angst

Rating: M

Notes:

Trust was something you always cherished in your relationship with Taehyung. But as the months went on the so called “trust” was fading. // this is based off something that personally happened to me, writing this little fic has made me reminisce the past, but I’m over it now! also so I’m sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes, I still have yet to edit this

You despised the girl you formerly went to highschool with and he knew it. She was a year younger than you and she was absolutely stunning, hazel irises, long gorgeous hair and a perfect fit, slim figure. You were nothing compared to her. Sadly this girl decided to attend the same college as you.

It started when Taehyung had mentioned he made a friend at a frat party he went to. You trusted him enough to allow him to go without you, and you weren’t one to give your significant other strict boundaries. The night of the party, he arrived home very early in the morning, you had waited for him with fire in your eyes and a hand resting on your hip questioning why he hadn’t been answering your calls or messages. You couldn’t sleep without his presence beside you in your shared bed at night, his strong arms wrapped around your waist and holding you close against his body.

It wasn’t until weeks later you’d realized he’d been on his phone more than usual and you were curious as to why. He was usually with you or out on the field, playing for your college. That’s when he mentioned her. Jiwoo. He knew you were going to find out sooner or later. Taehyung always had girls chasing after him and whenever they asked for any of his contact information he would kindly reject them, letting them know he had a girlfriend and wasn’t interested.

But what was different about her? Maybe it was that things between the two of you were getting rougher. More arguments, less texts concerning your wellbeing, not as much sex. But you were sure Taehyung didn’t hate you enough to start texting the girl that you absolutely hated. Jiwoo seemed like a sweet girl on the outside, but in reality she was the type of person that betrayed and lied to people once they shared vulnerable information with her. Like she did once to you.

It was your junior year of highscool and some guy named Conner or something had taken your virginity, taken advantage of you when you tried alcohol for the first time. You befriended the girl and went straight into her arms, crying and rambling on with shaking hands and a tear stained face. She’d comforted you for the night, but as soon as you went to school the following Monday the news was out that Conner had had sex with you. You were devastated, confused to why she could have done something so horrible to you. Unknown to you, her intentions were to hurt anyone who crossed her path.

So when Taehyung began becoming more attached to his phone than to you, and she was the reason as to why, it left a bitter taste in your mouth. You’d noticed that lately your boyfriend had been flirting with any girl that took an interest in him, but it was to an extent and he never crossed the unspoken boundaries you had put up for him. He knew better anyway.

Her name was always coming out of his damn pretty mouth. ‘Jiwoo just told me the funniest joke! Jiwoo is having a hard time with her assignment. Jiwoo is so humble and smart’ How? How could he say all of that knowing the things she did to people, the things she did to you. Any he never batted an eyelash, when you mentioned that the two of you were growing apart because of his sudden addiction with her. He’d waved his hand at you, eyes still glued to the dimly lit screen, shutting you up with a ‘You’re over reacting’ ‘Don’t worry about her’

Things started to get worse when he’d started inviting her to his games, when you couldn’t go because you were too busy working your ass off in order to afford the flat you lived in together. While he was out there going out with his football buddies and meeting up with Jiwoo after his games, you were sat in your living room with Seokjin, deciding when and if you were going to break it off with him.

Seokjin sat cross-legged, eyes focused on the television that lit up the dark room while his mind was off somewhere else. He finally tore his eyes away from the rom-com and back to yours.

“Do it tonight, when he comes home.” Seokjin spoke, with confidence, although he was speaking rather quietly than usual. You bit on the pieces of dead skin that were peeling off from your lips from the fall’s dry air. Seokjin had teased you a numerous amount of times about your often chapped lips, encouraging you to buy an overlypriced container of lipscrub or at least to bring along chapstick with you were ever you went.

When the clock struck twelve, you knew you had to kick Seokjin out. You’d would normally offer your beloved friend to stay the night, but you wanted to speak with Taehyung alone, and you didn’t need him pulling Seokjin into this and holding him against you.

Two o’clock, and your front door finally swung open, revealing a stumbling and intoxicated Taehyung. “Do you know what time it is?” You questioned, leaving out the endearment that was always a signature in your sentences when you spoke to him. This was a fucking routine at this point, why were you even surprised that he arrived home so late and at his ability to tell the time.

You were sick of it. Him coming home drunk and at 2am. Him putting sports before you. Him not giving you nearly as much attention as he used to. Him flirting with every girl that laid eyes upon him. And him, getting all buddy buddy with the girl that almost ruined your whole academic career. You weren’t even mad at the girl anymore, she probably didn’t even know he had a girlfriend in the first place.

“Is that a fucking hickey?” You stood up from your cozy seat on the couch to grab hold of the white t-shirt that hugged his body so snuggly, showing off his toned arms. If you stared long enough maybe you just might forget about everything and pounce on him right there and then. That wasn’t happening, the damage had been done.

“Can we just talk about this in the morning, I’m tired.” He didn’t even come up with an excuse! The audacity he had had your body shaking and fists balled up in rage. But soon, that rage turned into sadness as you realized what your relationship had come to. The only connection at this point was the fact that you lived together. The thought had a single tear rippling down your cheek, Taehyung too drunk to even notice.

You felt weak, and you weren’t going to put up a fight with him in this state, he wouldn’t even remember it in the morning. “alright.” You said softly, letting in.

Although you shouldn’t have, that night you snuggled close to Taehyung, knowing that it would be the last time you’d sleep together. The last time that things would be somewhat the same.

-

When Taehyung woke up from a long long slumber, the empty spot next to him had him panicking. He stopped panicking, realizing that you were probably cooking breakfast for him. You always did the morning after his nights out. But something stirred inside him when he didn’t hear familiar sound of pans clacking together, and the usual aroma of freshly cooked bacon in the air.

He quickly ripped the covers off of him, not caring if they landed on the floor, rushing into the kitchen and expecting to see you with your cute apron on and your back turned to him as you added more seasoning to the omelet you prepared so many times. What he didn’t expect was for you to be gone. What had he done last night? He couldn’t even remember, all he could recall was sitting on the sofa at Jungkook’s frat, JiMi or whatever her name was, he couldn’t even remember, taking a seat on his lap as she began sucking on his neck and down to his collarbones. Everything else after that was a blur. He’d have to call Jimin, who accompanied him to ask him what happened, but before that, he had to find you.

He starting going into a full blown panick attack once saw that your clothes were removed from your side of the closet, your makeup was nowhere to be found and that your phone was disconnected. He threw himself onto your once shared queen sized bed, inhaling the scent of you like you were still there. Thoughts of making love to you for the first time dancing in his head and all the times you shared together, learning about each other on a level he didn’t even know was possible. He knew you like the back side of his hand- even better. Taehyung knew he fucked up big time. Sure, you’d had arguments but you’d never left to the point where there was no trace of you ever living there in the first place, you’d never even left him at all.

He called he first person that came to mind after calling you, Seokjin. Taehyung only obtained his number because the guy called him, letting you know that you’d passed out in the middle of your apartment due to low blood pressure. Taehyung had only wished now that he was there for you instead of your best friend who had obvious heart eyes for you. Only if he hadn’t left you to go to practice- where he knew JiWoo would be watching from the sidelines- when you said that you weren’t feeling well that morning.

Why did he ever think of talking to that girl again? He knew how much you hated her guts but he still went out and partied and flirted with her so many times, enough to break you.

As he impatiently waited for Seokjin to answer his call, he completely cut off ties with Jiwoo. If you gave him another chance, he wouldn’t want her interfering with your already fucked up relationship. If he had to start from day one for you to give him another chance, he’d happily do it a million times if it meant getting you back. He loved you, and he knew that you loved him, he just needed to work on things...a lot of things. Taehyung always liked to take risks, maybe it was the way Jiwoo was a forbidden fruit, he just wanted a taste even though god had told him not to. What was it with him?

Seokjin answered on the fifth ring, sighing deeply into the phone’s speaker. “You fucked up.” Was all he said as he waited for Taehyung’s answer. The younger boy gulped as his heart beat loud and erratically enough for him to think Seokjin could hear every ounce of blood flowing through the veins to his heart. “I know.” was all he was able to choke out although he wanted to say so much more. Seokjin’s words had confirmed that you most likely explained your condition to him and that made Taehyung feel guilty and insecure, which he very much deserved.

“Did you fuck her Taehyung?” Seokjin asked after a few seconds of white noise traveling into his ear canal, signaling that one of them was going to have to speak up.

What Taehyung wanted to say was ‘No! Of course not!’ but really, he didn’t remember a thing the second after Jiwoo had latched on to his neck, the purple bruises as evidence of his memories. You saw them and spotted them right when he walked in and commented upon them, Taehyung finally remembered a part of last night.

“I don’t know.” His voice echoed through the speaker in a whisper and Seokjin just breathed out a “fuck” which made him feel even worse.

“I’ll let you know that she’s safe, but that’s all, all you deserve to know. She’s not yours to harass everytime she even talks to a guy, while you’re out there not even knowing if you fucked someone that isn’t her or not!”

Then the line went silent, leaving Taehyung speechless. What was there to say?

-

One week. A whole entire week and Taehyung hadn’t heard from you or Seokjin. Jimin hadn’t helped figure out what happened after his encounter with Jiwoo. He should’ve known Jimin didn’t have any information, once they entered the smokey frat house, the boy zoomed off out of his sight in mere seconds.

He thought about going over Seokjin’s apartment to see you but he knew that it would only cause more trouble for you. His heart told him to visit while his brain told him that it wouldn’t be good for you.

Every time he looked in the mirror in the past week his eyes were drawn to fading bruises that were a constant reminder of his betrayal. He couldn’t think of one reason why you had as much trust as you did in him while he acted up out of pure freedom, or so it felt like with you being as laid back as you always were, or seemed. He really took advantage of you and he’d wished he didn’t. He took advantage of the one good thing he had loved the most.

Taehyung seriously did not want to do what he had to do. He felt as if he was betraying you once again even though the two of you were clearly split up at this point. As the hazel eyed girl appeared in his line of sight, he internally cringed when he noticed the matching yellow fading bruises that were sprawled across her neck and underneath her jaw. She could of at least covered it up with concealer, but she was one to flaunt.

He sat on the bench next to her, keeping a safe distance away from her and she laughed at him, slapping his arm lightly in a teasing manner. “Why are you so far away? It’s not like you’ve never touched me before.” She giggled which caused Taehyung to grown angry. She was the reason why he lost you, part of him told himself while the other told him he was the one at fault.

Taehyung gently grabbed her by the sides of her arms, facing her towards himself. “What happened that night?” He said sternly, staring intensity into her optics.

“Just tell me what happened!” He unexpectedly raised his voice, gaining odd looks from the the students littered around on the grass. He ignored it, waiting for his answer. Jiwoo had spit it out as fast as she could, pressured by Taehyung’s sudden outburst.

“Which one? Why? Wanna do it again?” Taehyung’s grip was tightening on her with each word that fell from her mouth. Her smile faltered when a pinch of pain sparked where Taehyung was holding on so tightly to her.

“T-Tae, you’re hurting me.” Her eyebrows were furrowing when he didn’t let go right away. Finally, he snapped out of it, mumbling and quick apology and freeing his grasp.

“We just fooled around a bit! Nothing too serious, just kissing!” She squeaked out dramatically and Taehyung’s shoulders dropped with ease while he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in until that moment. He still felt unbearably guilty at this point. He was just glad that nothing had escalated, that they hadn’t done anything more. When did he become like this? Unloyal. It was something he always thought of as wrong and terrible, something he’d never in a billion years succumb to. But here he was. His mother would be so angry with him.

He prayed that he’d be able to fix things, not wanting to tell his mother he’d broken up with you, to lie to her and say that things were just not working out. To have to live with the guilt because everything was his fault, not one bit of it yours. You were always kind and loyal to him, not once did he doubt you. He was jealous at times but he never seriously doubted you. And the thing was, you never doubted him either, until lately.

Taehyung had gotten himself a job at a small coffee shop, dropping football because he didn’t have enough time for it. He’d missed his teammates but he missed you even more at this point. He missed you once he woke up to realize you weren’t in bed beside him, hair sprawled across your pillow as your body rose and fell with each breath you took, once he realized you weren’t cooking his favorite breakfast meal as you danced to the music that played on the radio. He’d gotten the job because he could no longer afford the flat you used to reside with him in.

-

One day, not too far after you’d left him, he’d decided to pay you and Seokjin a visit, bringing with him your favorite cookies. He’d knocked on the door only to be greeted by a annoyed Seokjin, claiming you were at work and for him to not come back, that were doing just fine without him. Truth be told, you were not doing so fine. Seokjin liked to tell himself you were doing better because of his care, when really you were still the same mess as you were when you first knocked at his front door, bags packed and mascara running down your cheeks.

“Can you at least give her these cookies.” Taehyung pleaded with his eyes, trying to coax the man. Seokjin had given in, just wanting the asshole who broke his best friends heart to go away. Shortly after closing the door, not wishing the younger a goodbye, he dumped the cookies into the trash.

Later on when you arrived home from your new job, Seokjin carelessly used the same Tupperware the cookies had been in, to cook the lasagna he was preparing for the both of you. You’d ended up in tears while Seokjin whispered ‘sorry’ over and over again. You recognized the pan. It was the one you and Taehyung always baked with.

-

The memories hurt, maybe even more than the times Taehyung had neglected you for Jiwoo- or ‘the bitch’ you and Seokjin liked to call her. Taehyung hadn’t payed you a visit ever since the cookie indecent. Things seemed to be getting better without him calling Seokjin everyday to see how you were doing. But it hurt to know that he gave up on you after not so long. Had he found someone else? Was he with her right now? Little did you know, he was thinking about you, alone in place you both called home, bottles of various types of alcohol surrounding him.

Taehyung would get rid of the hurt. Becoming an alcoholic wasn’t helping his problems in anyway. His friend Yoongi had come over his house unannounced, claiming that he was going to get liver cancer if he drank so much- which was ironic with Yoongi smoking multiple packs a day. The older had suggest going out to a club or something of sort, Taehyung had declined but was forced to go when Yoongi had pulled up with Hoseok and Namjoon and claimed that they were all waiting for him.

Hoseok’s motive was to get Taehyung laid that night. He’d only had the help of his right hand for months and he could really get rid of the sexual frustration. He met a pretty looking girl, that looked somewhat like you but not enough for him to not imagine that it was you he was thrusting into and not the stranger that went by Nataly. When he came, he had moaned your name which earned him a scoff and smack against his face, he couldn’t blame the girl. He’d fucked her in the last bathroom stall, and as he realized what he had done he kicked the toilet out of frustration, giving him a throbbing toe.

He regretted that whole idea he acted upon, the one that Hoseok had drilled into his head. And he regretted it even more when he spotted your two eyes, locked on his as him as he exited the restroom shortly after the girl that gave him temporary pleasure not too long ago. Surely, you had seen by the disgusted face you put on. His eyes travelled to the man beside you, the man who had an arm encircled around your waist.

When Taehyung arrived home, he decided that having his dick buried deep into a girl who he wouldn’t remember the next day wasn’t going to help him out either if he kept imagining that it was you instead. He stopped all the sexual activity when he realized that he only wanted you. And not just in a sexual way, in every way he used to. When was this longing for you going to end? You’d obviously moved on and he was still moping months later.

Again, he had ended up at Seokjin’s, praying to every god there was that you still lived with him. Seokjin looked surprised to see him again and Taehyung shoved right past him, calling out your name. It had been too long. He at the very least needed closure, he couldn’t go on knowing you despised him.

You peaked your head out from the guest room of Seokjin’s, shocked to see the boy the stood meters away from you. “Taehyung?” You questioned, not believing it was him.

“Who is he?” He asked angrily, palm flat against the wall.

“Who is who?” You yelled back, still confused as to what he was talking about and why he was yelling.

“The guy! The guy at the bar! I saw you!” He lowered his voice, adjusting his breathing. He didn’t want to scare you off, this being the first time he’s been able to talk to you in a long time.

“What bar!? What are you talking about?” Seokjin watched the whole thing unfold, at the end of the hallway, unsure of what to do in this situation.

“The one from yesterday! Don’t act stupid.”

“Hey! Don’t call her that. You want me to call the police?” Seokjin threatened, throwing himself in between the two of you.

You pushed Seokjin aside, unnervingly looking to Taehyung’s eyes that were tearing up.

“I didn’t go to a bar yesterday and I certainly haven’t touched a guy since...since you.”

Was he going mental? He swore he saw you, he swore it was you! How could it not be. He had to be going insane. “(Y/n). You’re literally making me go crazy here.” You slowly made your way closer to the man you used to call yours, caressing the side of his cheek with your knuckles.

“Just let me go.”

//

lmk in the comments if i should make a part 2!!

#Park Jimin #Kim Taehyung #Jeon Jungkook #Kim Seokjn #bts scenarios #bts #bts au #bts fanfic #bts angst #taehyung angst #bts smut #angst #taehyung fanfic #bts hyung line #bts maknae line

[bangtan-spells]

Seokjin Scenario: If We Both Stay.

Request: Hi, would it be okay to ask for a Jin scenario based on Taylor Swifts "Stay, stay, stay" ?   

Genre: Fluff / Romance

The screen of your phone was completely wrecked, you sighed and placed it down, you couldn’t even read the hour properly but this was only your fault, if you hadn’t thrown it straight at Seokjin all the way across your bedroom then none of this would have happened, your phone would still be in perfect conditions.

Sometimes, you weren’t good to keep your mind straight when you were mad, that was wrong but you’d been so frustrated and mad last night, now in the light of day it didn’t seem too cool of you for getting mad at him for going to partying on his own, but in your defense, he’d said he wasn’t going, then he’d kept the whole thing to himself because he just thought it wasn’t that important to tell his girlfriend that he was at the same party than his ex, the same one who’d been trying to get him back for the past months. You huffed again with the thought, how did he expect you to react at him keeping that in secret? He’d said he just forgot, and how convenient that was. You didn’t want to feel so jealous and bitchy, but the moment you’d seen those pics on instagram you’d gone nuts and screamed at him that if he wanted to be with her so much on your back, then he might as well leave for good.

You had always been a little dramatic, a little too volatile, and now you were thankful Jin had dodged your cell phone even if the device had ended crashing against the wall. You stood up from bed, the apartment was too quiet so you just supposed he left last night even if Seokjin was your roommate and he had as much right at being there as you did, but you’d locked yourself inside your bedroom and refused to talk to him anymore.

Making your way to the kitchen you stopped frozen with your eyes on the counter, there was a plate covered and a neon pink sticky note with your name in Seokjin’s handwriting, when you raised the lid you saw he’d made breakfast to you. You stared amazed at it for a full minute and then laughed under your breath for how ridiculous this was, for how stupid, for how kind, for how Jin. If he’d left last night, you wouldn’t have any breakfast there, so he stayed and even if he was mad himself he was still thinking about you.

You placed the lid down and looked at your name written by him, clutching the sticky note to your chest, you had not expected him to stay after such a fight, you thought things were practically over and yet, he’d done it, quietly, just like he was. He stayed and you found out in that moment how much you’d wanted him to.

You went to Jin’s bedroom and took a deep breath when you were in front of the door, it wasn’t closed completely so you could look inside, he wasn’t on bed and you could hear the water running on the shower so you wrote him a little note on the same bright pink square and left it on his pillow, telling him to talk about last night.

Going back to your bedroom you tried to think about the best ways to stay calm and talk with him properly, even if you were still mad about what he’d done, you didn’t want this to stay unresolved and getting you bitter over days to make it all worse.

You were sitting on the edge of your bed hugging your legs with your chin resting on your knees when Seokjin came into the room.

–Okay Y/N, let’s talk – he said with what you thought was a smile on his lips, truth be said you couldn’t see his face properly because your boyfriend was wearing a football helmet while standing in front of the bed, ready to have a talk with you.

You didn’t know if you should laugh or be outraged at that, probably both, but Jin was there like always, ready to fix it all, to walk you through the problems, to surpass every bump in the road with you and so you laughed softly under your breath, sometimes you couldn’t believe him, the other half of the times, you simply resigned to the fact that you loved him.

–Are you… for real? – you asked softly, licking your lower lip and Jin nodded, shrugging a little.

–This is just for protection, in case you want to… I don’t know, throw the lamp at me this time– there wasn’t recrimination on his voice, but yes a little amusement. Jin knew this was a big step for you, telling him to talk.

–You’re ridiculous…– standing up you went to him and this time you could see the smile stretching widely on his full lips.

–But I’m still here – Jin said softly and it were those words what made it for you, yes, he was still there and he was ridiculous but incredible.

–Yes you are – You took the helmet off from his head and looked into his eyes. –and I want you to stay, so please stay – you kissed him after that, letting the helmet fall down to your feet while Seokjin kissed you as needy as you did, holding onto your waist and making you walk back again until your knees met the bed and both of you went tumbling down to the mattress with your lips still on each other.

  Seokjin tried to warm his hands a little and put it inside the pockets of his jacket again, waiting for you to take you home even if you’d said it wasn’t necessary, he just knew you. You weren’t that complicated when he took the time to know you for real, and Jin loved you.

You were coming outside with the groceries and when you saw him there, you stared at him surprised. –What… what are you doing here? Are you trying to get frozen? – you laughed softly but still placed the bags down to take his hands and rub them together with yours to warm them up. Jin shrugged, trembling a little.

–I couldn’t let my girlfriend walking home alone – he smiled sweetly at you and enjoyed the pretty flush taking over your cheeks. – C’mon babe, we have to be quick–

He picked the bags to carry them for you and you held his hand, your apartment was about four blocks away or so but two of those streets weren’t really illuminated and Jin knew you were always a little afraid of walking around there at night, and he wouldn’t want you doing so when he was there.

–Thank you Jin – you whispered softly, hiding your face a little on his arm and since you had the hoodie of your jacket on he couldn’t really see your face but he smiled, it was nothing, he liked to take care of you.

You made your way through the streets quickly holding onto Jin’s arm, you’d told him to leave, you knew how tired he was from classes and you were just doing a quick stop at the grocery store but he had actually stayed behind for you. You were glad for Seokjin having the patience he had, for him staying strong through all and just being there, honestly you were lucky, he was nothing like the guys you’d dated before who were a lot more selfish and never truly cared for you, Seokjin never took his problems on you, he made you laugh, he took care of you, he carried your groceries like a perfect gentleman for god’s sake and you felt luckier each time he showed you how much he was into you, every time he didn’t doubt of showing you what he felt clearly or telling it to you. You spent a good part of your time together and you knew you wished that to stay like that because even after your fights and hard times he’d never left your side.

The thought made you hold onto his arm a little tighter and you smiled to yourself, you’d been feeling this for a while now, you wanted him to stay and not leave you ever because you could perfectly see yourself having a life with him, loving him through everything.

–What? – he asked looking down at you, his breath was making clouds in the cold air because he hadn’t worn a proper jacket to stay waiting for you in the middle of the cold night.

–Nothing– you took out the keys when your building came in sight and got on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

Jin didn’t seem too content with that answer, he kept taking sly looks to your way while you placed the groceries on the fridge until he couldn’t take it anymore.

–You’re looking at me weird – He said with a smirk and you laughed, almost hitting your head with the fridge’s door.

–Me? You’re the creeper behind me checking me out – you faked to be mad at that, but with Jin that never really resulted, he thought you were funny and adorable when you got mad, he was crazy and definitely one of a kind.

–Maybe I am a little, you’re my girl– you closed the fridge and looked at him with his playful smirk and the thoughts you had while going home came back while you met his warm brown eyes.

Really, who else was going to love you the way Jin did when you were mad? When you were crazy and wild? Who was going to stick by you the way he’d done? You doubted there was someone out there who could compete.

You moved to take a seat on the kitchen counter ad motioned for him to come closer.

–Come here – you stretched out your hand and he took it, intertwining your fingers, then he was making room for himself between your thighs and you ran your free hand through his silky hair. –What am I gonna do with you? –

Seokjin smiled and it occurred to you that you wanted that smile to greet you every day. –Love me of course –

You laughed because that had been a joke of his but none of your feelings were joke, you could hang out the rest of your life with him and it was going to be just fine, you could see you doing it and loving it, as much as you loved him because Seokjin was unique, endearing, tender and strong; he was kind, reliable and everything you needed and had been waiting for, so it was obvious he hadn’t let you any other choice than to take a straight free fall for him and love him all the way down. You knew you loved him, and maybe you’d been loving him even before you knew.

–I already do that – you whispered, he smiled wider then and kissed you softly, sweetly.

–Then we are even, I love you too Y/N – He whispered against your lips and you smiled, feeling happy for all the times Jin stayed by your side and all the times you were sure he was going to keep staying. You coiled your arms around his neck and decided that for him, you were going to stay too whatever happened.

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