#seonghwa x oc

[ppoppokari]

the fae of the oktober woods

pairing~ park seonghwa x oc! reader (this is for my bff katt ya'll)

genre~ (au) (h) (lowkey fluff)

ghostwritten for~ @horanghaejamjam (as a part of the atiny halloween project)

synopsis~ when katt had moved to quiet do-gooder neighbourhood they find that they got more than they bargained for. behind each preppy student and righteous priest was a fascination with the occult. what katt really wanted was to find love, but there was no way that they would find love in a town that felt like hell on earth... right? maybe just maybe they would have to look darkness in the eyes to find a love that would last for an eternity or more.

… or the one where curiosity finally got the better of katt.

wordcount~ 6.5k

featuring~ mentions of christianity, talk of ghost sex but no ghost sex actually occurs, an amateur summoning ritual (mentioned but no graphic summoning happens ), a haunted house, course language, a predator/prey dynamic, alcohol and drug consumption (every one is legal in this fic so don't worry and it's mentioned for a brief second, only seeing it if you squint), strange dreams, hints of smut at the end but no actual smut, i don't want to spoil it but seonghwa isn't who he seems to be- but spoiler he isn’t a faerie

playlist~ 🍄

a/n~ hi! it me~ i may have gotten way too carried away in this one, i was a horror writer for ten years of my life. so this really makes me feel nostalgic. and surprise katt!! i nearly spilt the beans so many times while writing this.

i love you so much buddy 🥹

also a huge thank you to @atinyhalloweenproject for giving me the opportunity to participate and for being so kind and patience, i truly truly appreciate it.

this is kind of creepy, like duh it's horror but this is the uneasy type of horror but it's still kind of sexy?

“Tonights terrifying tale takes us to an everyday neighbourhood, the houses are perfect, the American apple pie life we all want and to make it better the people are just as perfect. But this isn’t about them, it’s a tale of lust, deep desire, and a dance with the devil.

In this episode we will peel back the streets of suburbia and you will find something dark and twisted… if you dare to look.

I’m your host Barry Collins and this is…”

There was no bad blood between you or the ancient, living skeleton of a host but with a swift movement you reached for the remote. Upon doing so you were immediately relieved of the grating static of the old re-run of some ancient black and white Halloween special that had been on loop since you moved in. 

Bringing your hands up you lightly pressed your fingers into your temple, an attempt to soothe the persistent migraine that had been lingering since the early hours of this morning.

To say your dreams were getting out of control was a huge understatement, but how could you put it into words. How could you approach your parents and say that you woke up feeling as if an invisible weight was pushing down on your chest paired with sharp ringing in your ears, oh, and don't forget the immediate urge to throw your blankets to the ground and remove your pyjamas that clung to you.

Technically you could, but that wouldn't even touch the surface of everything that had been going on.

One thing was apparent as you looked ahead and saw a human-shaped blur sitting next to you through reflection on the blank screen...The only thing you had control over was the tv.

With a sigh you stood, feigning ignorance as you often did. Three months in this house and such things were a common occurrence, whether it be out of pure exhaustion or extreme confidence you let everything remain as it was. There was no need to search for all your missing items if they didn't want to be found.

Passing by a generous handful of misplaced shadows you made your way to the kitchen, stopping to pet Prince and Gizmo who trailed close to your feet. "You want a treat? You both deserve a treat for guarding my room last night." Crouching low you kept them occupied with a scratch behind their ears before tearing the scrap of bacon that remained on your plate in half. Wiping the grease on the hem of your t-shirt you all but threw your dishes into the sink as you brought your hands up once again.

"Shh stop it, no more headaches, just calm down Katt, it's okay." Your self-soothing was starting to work until a cold hand gripped your shoulder.

A sharp exhale knocked the little air you had as you spun around on high alert. Your sporadic movement startled both you and your mom, you honestly didn't know you had it in you.

"Katt! My god, what's gotten into you?" "Mom, you scared me!" Your shaky voice was a dead giveaway that something was eating away at you, call it luck or mother's intuition but she could sense your invisible thoughts, words that never formed.

"You're so skittish today, is there something I should know?" "I'm not skittish! You literally came out of nowhere, and who grabs shoulders like that. You're like every horror movie mom ever." You were the only one amused by your comeback, which was apparent by your giggle and the fact she just stood their analysing you. So, you decided to break the uncomfortable silence "Don't worry I'm just a little tired."

"If you're too tired you might have to miss the church service tonight, I know they're expecting you to be there but you're honestly not going to miss out on much."

"What?! No! I mean I'm well enough, I'm so energetic right now don't sweat it."

You weren’t looking forward to the bi-monthly sermons that most of the town attended. There were only two things you wanted most in this world, 1. A boyfriend and 2. To spend as much time as possible away from your potentially haunted house. And church could probably give you two of those things but at what cost?

Luckily for you, you really didn't have to submit yourself to an extended church service, opting instead to abandon the sermon and have a bonfire with your friends.

At this point in time, you were being quite generous with the whole ‘friend’ title in a frantic attempt to distract yourself from how shit this town actually was. Normally you would have refrained yourself from being half as critical but honestly Birch Lake was unnerving and the people even more so. Your friends were as preppy as they could get, yet they had their generous dose of duality with their obsession with the colourful history of ghosts and the occult. In any other circumstance you would casually avoid them, but right now you had to make the best of what you had.

"If you need to rest you can stay home, the last thing I want to do is force you to go."

In a motherly fashion she brushed your bangs to the side, resting the back of her hand on your heated forehead.

"It's your call, do what feels best."

Your sleep deprived mind was playing havoc with the words you spoke, resulting in the most gracious word vomit.

"I don't know, I want… I want to, I need..."

"You need to get laid."

“What?”

Phoebe didn't even attempt to hide her eyes rolling to the back of her head “Katt I’m not repeating myself twenty fucking times because you have insomnia or some shit.” Even with all the attitude her eyes met your and she smiled.  “I was just saying, you’ve been here for like what? Five months?”

You nodded your head, trying to play it cool as the rest of the group eyed you, it was hard to tell whether the heat came from the bonfire or from their collective gaze burning holes into you. If it wasn’t for the shitty craft beer flowing through your body, you probably would have had the energy required to give a decent response, but you stayed silent drinking in the flames.

Having realised that you weren’t going to bite the bait Phoebe readied another comment before she was abruptly cut off by Tao “It feels like you’re overcompensating for something Phoebe, the lord asks us to look within, and from where I’m sitting, looking through you I see that you’re the one who needs to get laid.”

Amongst your group of friends who you truly would have avoided under any other circumstances, Tao was the most harmless. Regardless, he was still the leader of your group. He didn’t seem like much, but he had wit and charm, he was the shepherd who led your group away from the bible school hall, past the theatre and into the forest to get to a small clearing. Tao was the son of the head pastor meaning he knew how to skip sermons without anyone noticing. He was also the only person who had your back…when he felt like it…which made him a D+ at best but he was still appreciated.

Each person broke into a mocking chorus of laughter, which Phoebe joined in on “Haha ha ha hahahaha fuck all of you, I hope you all die in a ditch in your next lives.”

Taking her comment with a pinch of salt you all resumed back to what you were doing before, listening to Jeremy as he mentioned some old lost media legend. “That reminds me, Jeremy you’re into lost media and stuff, have you seen this black and white tv show it’s kind of like the Twilight Zone but it’s just supernatural horror?” Jeremy looked over the rim of his tortoise-shell glasses, squinting at you, his attention was peaked. “What’s it called?” “I don’t know the name of it, I always miss the opening credits or switch the channel.” “So, it’s one you’ve seen?” “Yeah, it’s hosted by this old guy Barry Collins that’s all I know.” Jeremy raised a brow contemplating what you had just told him “I don’t think I’ve heard of it.” “That’s strange it’s on probably eight times a day and it’s the same episode on loop, or at least I assume it is.” You may have been far too optimistic assuming he would solve this mystery in a mere couple of minutes “Well, sounds like a good show, maybe I can come over sometime and see it”.

As the minutes passed a layer of fog seemed to cover everyone’s eyes, a result of the weed and alcohol stash everyone contributed to. You initially wanted to dull down your senses, hoping the one can you had would serve as mental cough syrup, even though it wasn’t strong enough you refused to have any more. So, you sat, keeping yourself entertained by picking at your black and orange pumpkin nails.

It was when you looked up once more when you noticed something flicker at the corner of your eyes and your throat tightened, if it wasn’t for the size of the bonfire, you wouldn’t have noticed it. But the silver switchblade was shimmering as bright as the stars above. So, you could confirm that you weren’t jumping the gun or losing your mind you did a double take, what you didn’t know was that this would result in the worst mistake you had ever made.

Phoebe noticed the nervous flicker in your eyes as you looked towards her drawstring backpack that was slouched at the edge of the log she sat on. In an instant you had sprung to your feet, though you wanted to run your body was stuck in invisible quicksand, fear ceasing your muscles. There was a delayed reaction of a couple of long seconds before anyone noticed you jumping up in fear.

“Damn Katt you need to chill; you scared me half to death.”

“No! I’m not going to chill! You can’t tell me she isn’t going to hurt me! She has a knife!”

If this were any other circumstance, you would have taken a chill pill and even laughed about it, but this was a sick kind of déjà vu. It was hard to determine when the dream had occurred, each night blurred into one, but one image you would never get out of your head was the one where the infamous Phoebe stood, knife in hand, a piercing look in her eyes as a foggy darkness outlined her petite frame.

“You’re totally taking this out of context, this knife isn’t for you. I had other plans tonight.”

“But…” “No Katt, you spoilt the surprise, I thought you could all do a favour for me. I wasn’t going to mention it yet, but I did some soul searching and realised people suck, and there is no way I’m dating Justin again, but I totally need some dick so the next best option. Obviously summon a ghost to sleep with and call it a night.”

The saddest thing about that was the fact that you couldn’t tell whether she was that drunk or whether she had always been this insane.

“I can sense the judgement don’t act all high and mighty you would do the same thing.” “As far as I can tell I definitely wouldn’t do the same thing!” “Well, the knife isn’t for you, no blood sacrifice, it’s to cut hair, string and other some other stuff. I did the other part of the ritual earlier, but I needed an open fire, so I thought I’d get some help.”

You took a step back, grabbing your bag, you didn’t have to be superstitious to know that this was something you didn’t want to be involved in.

“You’re seriously overreacting Katt, hey, if you help me with the ritual maybe we could have a threesome with the ghost.” A thin layer of bile formed in your throat at the idea. But what truly made your stomach churn was the fact that no one was batting an eye, they had made it clear that they wanted to be in on this either for the thrill of it or they were all equally as insane as each other.

Having stood your ground as best as you could for the whole entire night, you allowed yourself to turn in the other direction and run as soon as the candles were lit, and the sigils were roughly etched into the dank soil next to the fire.

Feeling permanently stuck in flight mode you found it impossible to catch your breath, though you were in motion already the swamp green forestry started to spin. In that moment you were waiting to fall face first into the mud and be taken out of this sweet misery but instead you kept moving, losing balance you hopped a few steps forward and into something, or more appropriately someone judging by the sharp sound of them being winded.

You had already made it up in your mind that if it were Tao or literally any one of those phonies you would shove them away and continue running. So, you readied yourself by pulling your arms back, but like an unstable slingshot your arms snapped down to your sides as you looked up to see the kindest doe eyes that were slightly covered by his loose black hair. Considering how you literally winded him, he still held a gentle gaze as he looked down at you, though nothing was said your heartbeat fell into a soft rhythm. For someone who looked as magical as the forest around him it was almost impossible to imagine what his voice would have sounded like. It was up to the stranger to break the silence and he did oh so gracefully, with a comforting smile he spoke his voice just above a hushed whisper.

“It’s okay, you’re safe, deep breathes. If you’re in danger just squeeze my hand.” It wasn’t like you to trust someone so quickly, but this felt different. “I’m fine, they probably weren’t going to hurt me, I just wanted to go home but I don’t know how to get out of here.” He opened his mouth to respond but paused as he heard the ominous snap of branches. Without hesitation he wrapped his arm around you “I can help you get out of here you just need to stick close and tell me everything. His grip was firm, but not vicious as he led you back to where you came from, you hesitated, your pace slowing down.

 As if he could read your mind, he went on to soothe you with his words once again. “We need to cut through here, there’s no way I’m letting you go back there. But now you’ve calmed down I need to know what you were running from.”  “I don’t think you’re going to believe me.” You pause awaiting his name. “Seonghwa.” “Seonghwa.” The way his name felt falling from your lips was addictive, “Well.” He paused too “Katt.” “Katt, I doubt you’d be this shaken up for no reason, plus I definitely heard some shouting.”

“I just escaped one potential murderer, so I hope you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing out here so late?” Without missing a beat, he answered. “I was picking mushrooms.”  Man, he was really out here being the most ethereal forest being in the universe. Noticing your bewilderment, he continued “My grandma used to forage as a child, and she asked me to go get some mushrooms.” Despite his simple explanation many of your questions remained unanswered, yet your curiosity pushed forward. “So, you’re a fan of ghost mushrooms then, interesting.” Seonghwa grinned at your dry retort “I’m more of an oyster mushroom guy, I imagine the poison would be too bitter for me.”

Scoffing at his response you were captivated by the instant shimmer of light that cast itself onto his cheek, as if he was warmed by the rays he hummed in delight, even though it was a mere streetlamp.

“There you go, I should be getting home.”

Your mind had already weaved a beautiful narrative of discovering “the one” hiding out beneath the shady leaves, so you held onto his arm for a few seconds too long. Seonghwa noticed, tilting his head like a curious rabbit before realisation set in. His soft gaze flickered with a sense of confidence, “Unless you’d prefer that I walk you home.” “I would like that but please don’t keep your grandma waiting.” “I don’t think she’ll mind; evening walks are kind of a norm for me.” “Thank you so much, I owe you one.” Seonghwa looked off into the distance shielding you from his suave grin, part of him hoping that you would give him something sensual in return. Despite his sinful temptation he looked back at you his sharp eyes softening as he feigned innocence. “Katt” He savoured each syllable, “You don’t owe me anything, unless…” He dropped the sentence hoping you’d bite back enough for him to charm you. “Whatever it is, yes.” “I guess I’ll be seeing you tomorrow, friend.”

For the first time that night you genuinely laughed.

“It’s your lucky day, I’m definitely looking for new friends.” The transition between extreme fear and instantaneous lovesickness left you in a daze, so much so that you didn’t realise that either A. Seonghwa knew where you lived or B. That you subconsciously knew where your house was, nor had you realised that you had released his arm from your tight, timid grasp. The swinging of your arms brought forward the autumn winds which then brought forward the faint smell of dirt and mushrooms. The conversation itself was way more colourful than the streetlights that made his eyes twinkle.

The house called your name, but you refused to listen, hesitant to leave Seonghwa’s side. It’s not like you fully believed that it was haunted or evil it just wasn’t it.  If he noticed your hesitance, he didn’t acknowledge it. There was something he wanted to say, but instead he glared at the house as if he had a vendetta against it.

“Thanks for walking me home, I really appreciate it.” “Of course, anything to see you safe from the Oktober ghouls and witches.” He said that part with a smooth chuckle, swiping his lower lip with his tongue.

“I hope to see you sometime soon Katt. You made my night even though you practically winded me.” “Hey! I said I was sorry, I think, look I was scared.” “Well, how about you make it up to me with a hug next time? Good night Katt.” One sheepish smile and a polite wave later and Seonghwa was up the road, looking back at you as you entered your house. What he didn’t see or hear was the delighted squeal you let out as you clutched your heart, excited butterflies warmed your heart as you closed your eyes, his face, no his smile, no… his everything was a good enough reason to keep your eyes clenched shut as you walked to your room, again it felt like you already knew this place like the back of your hand. Once you had made it to your room you fell back on your bed, too dazed, and your heart feeling too light to notice the misplaced shadows or the murmuring that surrounded you.

You had fallen asleep, something you found hard to believe, but what was more of a shock was the fact that you also left the door unlocked. Your parents were prepared to enter a house devoid of all your belongings. Luckily nothing had been stolen and even better, after losing sight of you at church, they returned home to find you asleep with a peaceful smile on your face. Even so, they wasted no time questioning your whereabouts as soon as you made your way downstairs for breakfast. You had a keen sense of self-awareness in the way that you knew that your lie was utter bullshit, yet you decided to commit to the bit and claim that you were there for most of the bible study session until you got a stomach-ache and that the church knew about the entire situation and that Tao had walked you home.

“You know you can be honest Katt.” “I’m telling the truth! I haven’t been well lately; it might be a summer cold or like an autumn cold? All I know is it sucks, and I still don’t feel good.” Your dad was certainly more amused by your flailing arms as opposed to your mom who shovelled more syrup-drenched pancakes onto your plate, hoping you would calm down and eat. You didn’t show any sign of stopping, so your mom took any type of silence to interject “Don’t let your pancakes go cold.” Hoping that you had convinced your parents enough you ate, savouring the syrup. You were in no rush to finish them trying to delay the ordeal of doing the dishes today, yet it was that day that your saviour arrived at the door.

As soon as the knock resounded throughout the entire house you jumped up, speed walking away from your parents prying gaze. At this stage you would have been relieved to see the damn mailman, However, you were greeted with something way better. His hair gently fell across his forehead, even though it was a wavy mess it seemed calculated, and he wore a plain white shirt. Only one thought crossed your mind, ‘Were his lips always so rosy?’ Being so captivated by his morning beauty, you overlooked the basket in his hands. “Good morning Katt, I hope I didn’t wake you, but I’m just dropping by to give this to you, see it as a housewarming gift from both of us.” “I, that’s so sweet! You didn’t have to do that, really.” You hadn’t been able to put your finger on it last night but there was something about his eyes, whenever you looked into them you felt even more determined to keep him a secret, he was your own personal fairy, he was magical in every way, a midsummer’s night dream.

As soon as you heard your parents approaching you leaned in close to him, your breath catching the corner of his ear “I’m inviting you inside act like you don’t know me, I haven’t told my parents about you yet.” Seonghwa nodded “Why don’t you come inside?” Seonghwa was about to step inside, but he hesitated, unable to shake the feeling that he was being watched. Cursing on the inside he stepped inside, lured in by the way you looked over your shoulder, beckoning him to follow you.

Seonghwa had always been perceptive, he could sense when he wasn’t wanted and even though he knew you were ecstatic to see him the constant chattering of disembodied voices was headache inducing. Still Seonghwa smiled appearing as charming as ever when he introduced himself to your parents “I can’t stay for long, I just wanted to drop this off.” You couldn’t tell if his ethereal nature was lost on them or whether they were in awe of him like you were. They seemed almost robotic in their response; it was rare for them to be this polite to anybody especially a guy that you liked. He must have had that effect on people.

“Park Seonghwa, I just got back a couple of days ago, out of town for my grandmother’s knee operation, we made this together to welcome you. It’s sort of a tradition of ours.” Your mom stood, impressed by his reserved nature. She reached for the basket noticing that it was predominantly food combined with a few small ornaments. “It’s all homemade.” He had a habit of smiling whenever he mentioned his grandma and it made you wonder if she was just as kind as Seonghwa.

Your mom was somewhat shocked at the revelation she gestured to the wooden ornaments “These too?” “Yeah, we carved them out of oak.”  You knew her silence meant that she was impressed, marvelling at the fine lines etched into the wood but Seonghwa couldn’t read her. “It’s not a good luck charm or anything it’s just something good to look at.” “I think it’ll look perfect right here.” Pushing it into the centre of the dining room table your mom scooped the basket into her arms. “Wait, is that strawberry jam? Pass it here.” Passing you the old hand-painted jar she walked into your kitchen, you assumed they were probably going to wear his name out behind his back, it was apparent by the fact that your dad trailed after her instead of Gizmo or Prince.

“You’re so magical I was literally craving strawberry jam.”  Since they had walked away Seonghwa had relaxed, a flirty smile overtaking him as he noticed you struggling with the jar. The brush of his hand sent a jolt of flaming electricity down your spine, but it had yet to disappear as his cool hands lingered on top of yours. “I’ll get that.” Upon passing the jar to him it was open in one swift motion of his wrist, as a force of habit you reached for the jar “Oh my, I told you I got it.”  Placing the jar on the table he dipped the discarded butter knife into it collecting the jam. He did the following with such ease, tearing off the edge of an untainted pancake and smearing it with red.

It was naïve of you to think that Seonghwa was an innocent man, devoid of any form of lust, in the short time you had known him he was constantly dancing on the fine line of being an innocent boy and a man fully aware of everything around him. In short, he knew what he was doing when he brought the pancake up to your mouth. His fingers were skilfully positioned to ensure that once you took a bite the jam would dirty them, in any other situation he would avoid anything sticky or that wasn’t mud. Unlike those moments he knew that someone, you, would clean them for him. Instead of removing his fingers he let them linger until you licked the jam from his fingers.

“That’s it.”

Seonghwa’s words meant nothing at the time, but that was then after spending each day together that’s the reality you now had. You went from taking comfort into Tao’s kindness to chasing after Seonghwa, or at least you would be the one chasing after him if he didn’t show up at your house or approach you while you were out and lure you away. Following the situation with the strawberry jam Seonghwa was subtle. He would edge you by showing the side of him that was willing to kiss you silly, but for some reason he never did kiss you. He wanted to but not yet. So here you were in a section of the woods that you most likely ran past in a panic on that one night that you never wanted to relive. For once your life seemed like one every suburban teen lived even if you were a little too old to be considered one. You sat on the ratty tartan picnic blanket drowning in happiness.

Seonghwa made a habit of occasionally looking up at you from his section of the clearing, his hands littered with dirt as he ran his hands across the clumped dirt while he hummed along to the radio. “I swear I’m not holding it against you, but you did promise to help me.” “And I will I’m just thinking.” “About?” “Things… but more importantly why don’t you ever wear gloves when you do that?” “It depends on the answer that you want. I can give you sane or insane, take your pick.” “I’ll take the Seonghwa answer.” “Maybe it’s not the weirdest thing ever but I like the feeling of the dirt on my fingers so damp and cool, plus who needs cologne when the dirt makes you smell so fresh.” “Seonghwa, you know that half of the time I can’t tell whether you’re telling the truth or not.” “Yes, and I thought that’s what made you like me. I’m pretty sure you said you liked my Hozier charm, even though he probably copied my likeness.” Seonghwa prodded at the dirt again.

It was the second time you broke your promise to Seonghwa, you did say you would help him collect, mushrooms, acorns, and butterfly wings amongst other things. It sounded like a fun Saturday afternoon but as the time came you just wanted to admire how beautiful he was, a hobby that you discovered days after meeting him. The leaves blocked out the afternoon sun, providing you with the privacy you needed to make the next move.

Seonghwa looked straight ahead, despite being away from you he could hear the thudding in your chest, he sensed fear. But it didn’t make sense he hadn’t done it yet, immediate dread filled him. It seemed you had finally caught on to his lies. Instead of showing his exasperation he kept looking ahead at him, ignoring the centipede that crawled over him he pressed his palms into the wet dirt trying to calm himself. He didn’t feel fear, don’t get it twisted his dread came from the fact that the game of cat and mouse had been cut incredibly short.

“Seonghwa, I have something to tell you.” That’s not what he expected, he sighed in relief he had never been the best at reading human emotions. Bracing himself to be ever the gentleman you knew him to be Seonghwa rose from the ground, patting his on his upper thigh. Approaching you he kneeled peering into the deepest part of your eyes “What is it?” Honestly you were prepared to shout it out to him but having him this knocked all the air out of your body.

‘Get it together Katt’ you thought when he brought his hand up to your shoulder. His gaze was hooded waiting for permission, he was monstrous on the inside, but he wasn’t devoid of sympathy even if it was false in nature.

“I didn’t keep my promise.” “You silly thing, you can always start by searching over there.” “Not that promise… You told me the night we met that you wanted a friend, I owed it to you, and I can’t do it.” He thought he knew how this was going to end, yet you had him stumped. “None of this makes any sense Katt.”

“I don’t know how else to say this Seonghwa, I love you and that’s it.”

If Seonghwa knew how to feel guilt he would have but that wasn’t the way of the incubus, then again, he didn’t know whether he ever acted like his kind. As far as he knew he was the only one who played with his victims before devouring their lustful souls. It was the thrill of the chase he wanted more than anything. After your confession you had looked away from him, your nerves had gotten the best of you. But by the time you looked back up at him your heart that you had so lovingly given to him got caught in your throat. Your first reaction was to scream so you did, but over the loud radio and his hand pressed against your throat there was no way that scream would grace his presence.

Looking ahead all, you could do was shudder at the man in front of you, though he no longer looked like a living man. His skin was light pewter, coated in thick crackling mud that hardened across his arms, except for the mud on his finger which smeared against your skin. And his eyes? Oh, his eyes were something, even in your terrified state you wanted to swim in his too cold to be orange and the too hot to be blue eyes.

“Sshh little one, if you listen to me I… Well, I doubt you’ll be getting out of here anytime soon. But don’t fret.” The creature between you clicked his tongue against his partially sharpened teeth, but he faltered as you gurgled out a panicked gasp. “Katt, Katt, Katt what am I ever going to do with you. You betrayed my trust; you said you would promise to be my friend yet you’re looking at me like I’m a monster. Seonghwa leaned in his cool breath tickling the edge of your ear. “I couldn’t sense lust like I did when I first met Pheobe, she was lying there inside of the string circle oh so desperate. But let me tell you this. I didn’t want her. I wanted you.” Seonghwa released you and to his surprise you didn’t run, and it warmed him. After all, Seonghwa truly felt like he wasn’t like any other incubus, he didn’t know love, he thrived on fear, but you had captivated him. So, he intended to use the time he had with you to present you with the offer of a lifetime.

“Seonghwa, please I don’t want to die like this.” Seonghwa brought both of his hands up again but this time he cupped your face “Don’t be sorry sweetheart, you have no reason to fear me. You’re lucky she was so far north, if she was in any other part of the forest she could have easily summoned San, Mingi or Hongjoong and trust me they wouldn’t have let you leave. It’s still me.” It was frankly insane, this had to be one of your elaborate nightmares. “Katt, I was willing to kill you, but not now, I have other plans. I just want you to hear me out but first I would like you to enlighten me. Tell me… why were you so keen to want me?”

The urge to run was still present but looking at him you still managed to see the man you fell in love with, it was odd to still love something like him but his voice, this everything was enough to have you chasing after him. “I thought I finally found the person who truly understands me, I thought you would fool me into liking this stupid town but turns out I was the stupid one.”

“If you’re a fool then I am as equally so for I have a proposal.” His eyes were flickering like two sleepy flames ready to die out, you would have run but one thing was keeping you where you were, the growing warmth in his touch.

“I recall each word you uttered to me, you want the nightmares to stop, you want the voices to stop. What if I said I could help you?” Your throat was ashen dry, so you gave up on answering him, but your eyes said it all. “Instead of making a deal with the devil I would like you to consider making a deal with an incubus. Even if you failed to keep your promises, I know you will be able to keep this one.” At first you had assumed that your compliance was a way of survival but as strange, sick, and twisted as it sounded your heart already found a way to love him. “Tell me about this deal.”

Today was a day of firsts and Seonghwa finally had the pleasure of saying that he had experienced resting his head against that of someone he would have loved if he were human. “If you agree to do this, let me bed you out here let me give you a part of myself I can guarantee that no one in this town, human, demon, or ghost will harm you. I will protect you Katt, I will take away all the noise and all your nightmares if you let me.” “Please do it.”

He crashed his lips onto yours, you savoured the taste. It was rough but knowing Seonghwa or whoever this creature was it was safety. Bringing your arms up you clasped them around him encouraging him to dip his body down. “I’m trying hard Katt, but I want to taste you.” “I didn’t think incubuses cared about their victims.” “You’re mistaken you’re definitely mine but a victim? Of course not.” Seonghwa’s touch seemed to transition from stone cold to warm and comforting with each lingering kiss. After dragging them across each inch of your body he unbuttoned your black and orange cardigan. One, two or three kisses and you were addicted, it was hard to tell as each kiss bled into the other. Instead of letting the cardigan fall off your shoulder Seonghwa hooked the edge of it with his finger, dragging it down. Expecting more gentle touches you were startled by the sensation of his teeth nipping at your bare skin, ever the mystic forest fairy he seemed to be he made roses bloom in his wake.

You had snuck through the back door this time, another faint smile gracing your lips, another difference was the fact that your parents were home this time. They remained optimistic, you were bright and talkative over the past few weeks, but this time you walked straight past them. Taking a seat on the couch you stared at the black screen ahead of you, you looked a mess, but you loved it. Your eyes were too cold to be orange and too hot to be blue, the mud was beginning to crack on your skin but probably the thing you were the most grateful for was the fact that Seonghwa kept his promises, the voices in your head ceased to exist and for a split second you could see Seonghwa sitting next to you.

“Whatever I feel for you Katt know it’s the most powerful thing in this waking world.” His words melted away along with his smoky figure. Staring ahead of the screen you couldn’t help but sigh as you rubbed your head before laughing, that was a habit you could stop now. The pain and the voices ceased thanks to him. As you closed your eyes, reliving the sensation of Seonghwa’s body on yours, his tongue wrapped around your most sensitive areas and his hands scratching down your back you closed your eyes. All that was heard was the tv turning on as the same ancient host was brought back to life.

“I will let you in on a little secret, listen closely. Sometimes love and terror can prove to be as beautiful as one another, we chase love because we fear that we will be alone but some of us look fear incarnate in the eyes and we fall in love. Next door to that everyday neighbourhood, that American apple pie life, is a forest. And some of us let curiosity get the better of us, but it’s certainly not all bad for we find new life by running away from the old. The piercing yowling of the ghosts cease to exist, because Katt looked evil in the eye and hidden underneath his heaving breath Katt heard a faint thud of a heartbeat."

all rights reserved to ppoppokari

#atinyhalloweenproject #park seonghwa #ateez x reader #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x oc #ateez seonghwa #kpop x reader #ateez #au #demon au #demon seonghwa #ateez demon au #ateez x oc #incubus seonghwa

[ktkpopping]

I’ll Take Care of You

summary: Dealing with chronic illness is never easy. Waking up one morning having a killer flare causes you to cut the workday short, which leads to your attentive and loving partner, Park Seonghwa, taking care of you.

Hiiiiiiiii

So this is the first fic I've ever written and it is purely self-indulgent and born out of one of my own bouts of chronic illness. I don't see a lot of fics dealing with this particular topic so I wrote this in an attempt to shed light on chronic illness and make other readers feel seen. It's super fluffy and only slightly angsty with Seonghwa being the softest boy on earth.

This fic can be read as gender-neutral! While writing it I imagined F/M, but it ended up not having any real identifying characteristics of the reader so it's up to your imagination to decide!

AO3

warnings: mentions of chronic illness and flares, mentions of food

genres: fluff, slight angst, romance, gn reader x seonghwa

word count: 3454

You knew today was going to be one of those days. You could feel it in your bones the instant you woke up but decided to push forward with the day regardless.

Though now, you were definitely regretting getting out of bed this morning.

Sitting at your desk and fighting the urge to fold in on yourself, you could feel your joints throbbing and a dull burning radiating around your knees.

A normal occurrence, however unwelcome for someone who lived with chronic illness.

After another 30 minutes at your desk desperately trying to be productive, you decided to call it quits for the day. You would be no use to anyone while in this much pain, so why bother staying?

You texted your partner Seonghwa to let him know you were going home for the day.

You Hi my love, I’m having a really bad flare today and have decided to head home

I’ll probably be asleep when you get home from work

He responds moments later.

My star ⭐️ Oh my darling

I’m so sorry to hear that

I’ll make you some dinner and help you out when I get home later

Please try and get some rest 💕

You and Seonghwa met in college at a party during your freshmen year. You knew he was the one the second you laid eyes on him. Coiffed, black hair with a striking undercut and deep, round eyes had you melting in an instant. You had never seen someone look so soft yet so commanding at the same time.

You were already head over heels at first glance, but the second he spoke to you and you heard that honeyed deep voice, you knew you were a goner.

You’ve been together for a little over eight years, and following college, you both moved into a nice apartment together in the city. You worked in higher education, while Seonghwa worked in the nonprofit sector.

Dragging yourself out of the building with your remaining energy, you drive home and try to keep your breathing even and thoughts focused on delivering your tired body back home.

Upon arriving, you immediately went to your room, stripping clothes off along the way to release yourself from the confines of professional attire, leaving a trail of black on the way to your bed. At this point, you couldn’t be bothered to care about the mess in your wake.

Immediately crawling between the sheets and under your weighted blanket, you willed yourself to fall asleep, desperately hoping the pain would subside for a while so that you could rest.

When you woke a few hours later to the sound of the garage door closing, you groggily wiped your eyes.

Your joints still radiated pain, albeit less intense than before.

You heard the sound of dress shoes clicking on the tile as they came closer to your shared bedroom.

Standing in the doorway was Seonghwa, dressed in his standard work attire of a crisp button down, slim tie, and fitted slacks.

“Oh my love, are you alright? How are you feeling?” He asked as he slipped his shoes off and made his way into the bedroom, seating himself on the edge of your bed to cup your face gently.

“I’ve been better. This isn’t the worst flare I’ve had, but I couldn’t focus at work and my energy drained rapidly. I knew I wouldn’t be of use to anyone if I tried to tough it out through the day, so I came home.”

“Darling, you shouldn’t push yourself so hard when you know you’re not feeling well. Your bosses understand. I hate seeing you push yourself to your breaking point when it’s not necessary.”

He looked at you with concern and fondness and you knew his words were true, it’s just hard for you to get out of the headspace of feeling like a burden and needing to be “on” at all times to keep up the masquerade of being a “normal” person.

Chronic illness was a part of you, you knew that. But it didn’t make it any less difficult to deal with, nor did it quell your anxiety around others and how you would be perceived or treated if they knew.

You sighed. “Yeah, I know. It’s just hard for me to overcome the monsters in my head sometimes. I know you’re right, I’m just…struggling.” You admit as your shoulders slump.

His gaze softened as he caressed your cheek softly.

“Love, it’s okay not to be 100%, I promise you. How about you let me run you an epsom salt bath? Let me take care of you tonight and ease some of your stress. I know I can’t take the pain away, but I can try to help you manage it.”

You nod and he kisses your lips gently before making his way to the en suite bathroom.

You hear the tap start and you heave a sigh while trying to stretch yourself out without causing too much additional discomfort.

A few moments later, he returns to your side.

“Come on my love, let me take care of you.”

He pulls the covers down and loops his arms around your back and under your knees, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom.

Depositing you gently on the floor, he helps you remove your remaining clothes. He then holds his hand out for you to grab as you step into the warm water and sink into its comforting embrace.

Once you’re fully reclined in the clawfoot tub, he strips off his button-down and tie, leaving him in his white undershirt and slacks, settling in behind you with shampoo, conditioner and a bowl at his side.

He starts by filling the bowl and gently running the warm water over your hair, a heavy sigh escaping you as he does. He then pours some of your favorite shampoo in his palms and begins a soothing lather over your scalp, his deft fingers causing a shudder to wrack through you at the sensation. He has long fingers, and he knows how to use them to his advantage.

He continues to massage the product through your roots, allowing for you to relax further into the water as he works.

Filling the bowl again, he rinses your hair out thoroughly, all while whispering sweet praises into your ear, lulling you into a more relaxed state despite the way your joints continue to throb.

Once rinsed, he adds a generous portion of conditioner to his hands to work through your ends gently, pinning your hair up to allow the product to work.

“Darling, close your eyes and continue to relax while I get the shower started for us. I’ll come back in a few minutes to help you out of the tub” he says gently at your side.

You nod slightly and keep your eyes closed, focused on the sensation of the warm epsom salt bath with the scent of comforting eucalyptus oil wafting up from the water.

Lost in your thoughts, you don’t realize that Seonghwa has returned and is now fully undressed until he nudges you gently to help you stand up.

He unplugs the drain and holds your hand as you step out of the tub and onto the bath mat. Once out, he guides you over to the shower, following you inside.

He leads you both under the spray so he can help you rinse the conditioner out of your hair, settling himself behind you and situating his hands on your waist once you’re finished.

He wraps his arms around your midsection and holds you close, but gently as he peppers soft kisses to your temple and crown.

You sink into the sensation of the warm cascading water with the love of your life behind you and try to stay grounded in the moment despite all the pain.  

“I know you’re not feeling well baby, once we get you all clean, I’ll help get you set up with your meds and some arthritis cream and a heating pad. Once you’re settled, I’ll make you some dinner. Does that sound okay?” He asks with his lips pressed to your temple.

His deep, soothing voice causes you to melt, and if you weren’t already, his ministrations and soothing words would cause you to fall head over heels in love with him.

You nod your assent and feel him shift to grab the body wash off the shelf. He begins to lather your skin with soft, soothing motions to prevent aggravating your already tender body.

There’s nothing sexual about his movements. You can feel the love and care he puts into helping you shower and feel more comfortable. His large hands shifting his way down your middle, over your thighs and down your legs causing you to shiver slightly but bask in the comfort.

“Spread your legs darling, let me help you” you hear him whisper behind you. He trails back up the inside of your thighs and helps to clean your most sensitive areas with the gentlest touch as to not cause you any additional discomfort.

Not that he’s got any ulterior motive, but you couldn’t be turned on right now if you tried, your pain receptors alight and burning and trying to focus on standing up straight instead of curling into yourself like you want to.

He senses your struggle to stay upright and balances you back on his front once he finishes soaping your body up.

Detaching the shower head, he runs the warm water over you, concentrating some of the warmth on the joints he knows hurt the worst.

Once rinsed off, he turns off the tap and leads you out of the shower, wrapping a large, warm towel around you as he helps you dry yourself off.

Shifting slightly as you allow him space to do the same for himself, you lean over on the counter as your body continues to work against you.

Once dried, he grabs both of you fresh underwear and settles you onto the bed.

“Stay here and rest, I’ll get everything you need and I’ll be back shortly” he says as he places a chaste kiss to your forehead.

You close your eyes and will the plush mattress to swallow you whole if it’ll take away the pain. You know flares are temporary, but the way your body feels like it’s on FIRE never fails to make you want to tear your hair out in frustration.

The pain has become so much despite the care that Seonghwa bestowed on you, and hot tears finally slip from your closed eyes as you finally break from the stress of the day.

You don’t know how long you cry for, only really coming back into your body when you feel the bed dip and gentle thumbs wiping away at your under eyes.

You open your eyes to see his pained but loving expression as he caresses your face.

“I know, I know darling. It’ll get better soon. Here, sit up and take your pain relievers and drink a full glass of water” he says in a low, soft voice.

He helps prop you up against the pillows so you can swallow down the pills and drink, the cold water soothing down your raw throat.

Sniffling, you turn to Seonghwa and hand him the glass whilst grabbing his free hand to rub circles into the back of it.

“Thank you…thank you for taking care of me. I know it’s not easy and my flares are unpredictable, but I can never thank you enough for the care you give me when I’m struggling. I always…” you sigh heavily as a fresh wave of tears make their way down your cheeks. “I always feel like such a burden. I know you’re going to tell me that I’m not, and I know that I’m not…but sometimes it’s really, really hard to bring myself out of that dark place within my own mind. I just feel so…useless and helpless when this happens and it drives me insane that I can’t function at all” you say as the tears continue to fall.

He continues to cradle your face in his palms as he speaks in his low timbre. “My love, you could never, EVER be a burden. I know I’ll never fully understand or experience what you do, but I know that I will do anything I can within my power to lessen the pain and comfort you, even if it’s just holding your hand through it all. I love you, and I will continue to help you navigate whatever life throws at you.” He grips your face a little tighter and stares directly into your eyes, watery gaze firm and insistent. “You are not and nor will you ever be a burden. Even if you don’t believe it, I will continue to reassure you. I love you, and I am here for you.”

Your tears continue as you hold his gaze, but you lean into his touch and close your eyes. Inhaling a shaky but steadying breath, you open your eyes back up to his. “Thank you, I love you more than I ever thought possible.”

“And I love you, darling. Now lay back down and tell me which joints are bothering you most,” he says as he eases you flat down on the bed.

“My knees feel like they’re on fire and my lower back and shoulders really, really hurt,” you reply with a grimace.

He grabs the medicated arthritis cream off the night stand and starts to work it into your knees. The smell of menthol wafts up between you as his nimble fingers massage your aching joints and you feel yourself relaxing a bit the longer he works your joints.

“Flip over darling, I’ll get your shoulders next” he says, nudging your side to catch your attention. You roll over and he repeats the process on your shoulders, working out some of the tension as he does.

You let out a small dulcet sigh as you feel some of the day’s tension draining, silently willing the medication to take effect faster the more he works.

He steps back after placing a gentle kiss to your crown. “I’m going to go wash my hands and let that sink in before we flip you over for the heating pad on your lower back, and then I’ll go and get us some dinner.”

You grunt in affirmation, earning a slight chuckle from the man as he makes his way into the en suite. As you lay there, you find yourself continuing the thoughts of how grateful you are to have Seonghwa as your partner. You’ll never know how you got so lucky, but you’re consistently amazed by his grace and patience and overwhelming support of you and your conditions. You know you would do exactly the same if the situation was reversed.

“Alright, let’s get you rolled over on the heating pad and once you’re settled, I’ll bring us dinner in bed and we can watch whatever you’d like on tv,” he says upon emerging from the bathroom.

You begin to roll over and he sets the heating pad directly under the small of your back as you settle back into the covers. Again, he places a gentle kiss to your forehead as you get comfortable, and then makes his way out of the room toward to kitchen for dinner.

Left alone, you feel your eyes growing heavier as the medication and cream begins to take effect and you concentrate on the pad slowly heating on your lower back. Soon, you find yourself drifting off until you’re roused from your almost-slumber by Seonghwa returning with a tray of food for you both.

He settles it between you and helps you to sit up before moving to the opposite side of the bed and taking his place at your side. He’s prepared you both a hearty stew and bread, with steaming cups of tea for the ultimate comfort meal.

You find your eyes watering again as you turn to him and notice a very soft smile and fond expression color his features as he gazes back at you. You lift your hand to cup the side of his face and whisper “thank you” to prevent the tears from fully falling down.

He leans in and kisses you softly while wiping under your eyes as a lone tear tracks its way down your cheek.

“Any time, my love. Now, please eat something and then we can get you settled into bed for the night.”

You both eat in comfortable silence as some show plays on the tv in front of you. You can’t find it in yourself to fully pay attention to what’s happening, but you find additional comfort in the background noise and the knowledge that Seonghwa is right beside you.

Once you’re both finished, he gets up to grab the tray and bring it back to the kitchen. You know he’ll be a while as he does the dishes and wipes down the kitchen, as it would irk him to leave the kitchen in any kind of messy state regardless of the situation.

You giggle to yourself at his fastidiousness and sink back into the pillows to relax. The medications have finally started to take effect, and you’re feeling some of the ache drain out of you, as the fatigue and exhaustion take over.

After a bit, he returns to dim the lights and settle back at your side. He comes closer, leaning on his left arm as his right drapes lightly across your abdomen.

“How are you feeling now? Is the medication kicking in? Do you need anything else?” He coos gently to you with mild concern etched between his brows.

You reach up to smooth the skin there, soft gaze meeting his. “I’m doing better. I can’t think of anything I need at the moment, I’m just…really exhausted and think it’s about time for bed.”

Now that everything’s cleaned up and you’re both settled in, he shifts closer to turn off the heating pad and move it to the floor so that you can get comfortable for the night. He lays on his back, and you shift slightly as to lay your head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat as his arms wrap gently, but securely against you, rubbing small patterns up and down your spine to further relax you.

He kisses your head and you both lay there, basking in each others comfort until you feel yourself losing the battle against sleep. You kiss his chest and lean up to press your lips to his, where he reciprocates easily, before rolling over onto your back to get comfortable and prevent any further fatigue or joint pain in the morning as a result of sleeping in an awkward position.

Once settled, he turns off the tv and pulls the covers over both of you securely, encasing you in soft warmth. “Goodnight my love, I hope tomorrow is easier and that your pain is lessened,” he whispers into the darkness.

“Thank you again Hwa, I love you very much” you mumble back, before sleep finally overtakes you for the night.

Upon waking in the morning to the sound of your combined alarms, you realize that your joints feel far less tense and you breathe a heavy sigh of relief.

You look over to seonghwa as he groggily rubs his eyes and looks to you before rasping in his morning voice, “How are you feeling this morning, darling?”

You smile, feeling slightly affected and endeared by his husky tone. “Much better; thank you again for taking care of me yesterday, I can’t ever thank you enough for doing that.”

He hums affectionately before pulling you close and wrapping his arms back around you, peppering soft kisses into your hairline.

You both lay there a while and bask in each other’s warmth until the alarm goes off again and you both need to get up and get ready for the day.

You both make your way into the en suite where he turns on the shower while you use the bathroom. Once finished, you step out and admire his silhouette through the fogged glass and a soft smile paints your features as you again think about how lucky you are to have this beautiful and compassionate man as your partner.

You join him in the shower to let the hot water run across your shoulders again, wrapped and content in your lover’s arms as the soothing spray cascades over you both and you know that despite the unpredictable daily trials of chronic illness, that everything is going to be okay.

#ateez fluff #ateez fanfic #seonghwa #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x oc #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa fanfic #ateez

[mi-rae07]

Park Seonghwa : Him And I (Part 2/3)

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Kim Soo-hyun)

________________________

5 years ago :

Soohyun : hwa?

Soohyun entered their apartment with flowers in her hands, hoping to find seonghwa and gift it to him as their 8th anniversary gift. Except seonghwa was nowhere to be found. But soohyun heard sounds of small shuffling in their room, quickly walking towards it, knowing that was where seonghwa was. But as soon as she opened the door to their room, the flowers fell from soohyun's hands, a choked gasp falling from her lips as she stared at the sight in front of her with wide eyes.

Her boyfriend, his hands covered in blood and bundles of cash lying on the floor in scatters. Anyone would understand what that meant. And it broke soohyun.

Seonghwa : soo-soohyun.

Soohyun's eyes filled with tears at the obvious sight, realization crushing her like a truck. Seonghwa just stared at her, his eyes beginning to tear up as well.

Soohyun : you…no.

Soohyun walked towards seonghwa, holding him up by his collar as she screamed

Soohyun : TELL ME THIS ISN'T TRUE!

Seonghwa flinched but said nothing, his teary eyes staring into the floor in shame. Soohyun shook him harder in her grip, tears falling from her eyes as she said

Soohyun : how…how could you. How could you hurt someone and steal from them AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE TOLD YOU PARK SEONGHWA!

Seonghwa : I had no choice, hyun-ah.

Soohyun : BULLSHIT! You did have a choice! You had a choice but you chose the wrong fucking one.

Seonghwa : I know this is wrong, but I have to do this for our sake-

Seonghwa cut himself off with a gasp as soohyun slapped him, seonghwa's head tilting towards the side as the edge of soohyun's family ring cut through the side of his lip, drawing blood. Seonghwa felt his heart drop.

Soohyun : don't you dare say that. I could never, I would never rob someone off of their hardwork for my own benefits. I could never be a monster.

Seonghwa looked up at soohyun with hurt eyes, tears streaming down his cheeks.

Soohyun : remember what I told you, seonghwa? That a person who loses their morality is nothing but a mortal being? That's what you are, seonghwa, because when you do things like this, you are no longer human. And I'm sorry I ever thought of you as someone I could be with for my entire life.

Seonghwa : no-

Soohyun : we're done.

Soohyun turned around and was about to walk away when seonghwa quickly held onto her arms, his sobs filling the room as he said

Seonghwa : I swear this won't happen again. I'm so sorry, I won't do it again. I promise, please?

Soohyun : let go of me.

Seonghwa sobbed, shaking his head as he got down onto his knees and said

Seonghwa : I have no one except you, please! Please listen to me, I…I just wanted to be bet-better, hyun-ie, I swear-

Soohyun : THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE TURNED INTO A THIEF!

Seonghwa flinched, his sobs growing louder as soohyun tried removing his grip on her. Seonghwa shook his head, quickly standing up as he threw his arms around her and wailed against her shoulders. Soohyun shut her eyes as she felt seonghwa's tears wet her skin, his wails breaking her heart. But she couldn't stay with a man like this, she just couldn't.

It went against everything she knew.

Seonghwa : please don't leave me. I'm so sorry, I swear I'm so sorry. Please don't stop loving me.

Soohyun : I stopped loving you the second you had your hands stained with someone else's blood, seonghwa.

Seonghwa sobbed as soohyun finally pushed seonghwa away, his body falling on the floor with a thud as soohyun said

Soohyun : I never should have loved someone like you.

____________________________________

Soohyun was now sitting next to the hospital bed seonghwa was currently lying on, her arms crossed against her chest as she stared at the person who was peacefully sleeping in front her. The doctors and nurses, if anything, looked shocked when soohyun had entered the hospital with seonghwa in her arms, blood all over them. None of them would have expected a police officer to enter the hospital with a criminal in her arms, but it had happened.

Soohyun had then asked for the VIP room at the top levels of the floor, knowing the security and privacy there would be much higher than it would be on any other levels. Plus she could afford it well enough, and if she couldn't, seonghwa could. Soohyun hoped the people here wouldn't tell her mother about what had went on, but this was her aunt's hospital. It was obvious her mother would know, and it would only be a matter of seconds before she rushed in here.

Soohyun ran her eyes along seonghwa's sleeping figure, the man she once loved glowing under the lights of the hospital room. He had always been beautiful to her, until he wasn't anymore. But even then she loved him, and she hated every part of it. The both of them had kept their distances from each other, knowing their relationship could never proceed anymore. Seonghwa was a criminal now, and soohyun was against every inch of it.

Soohyun looked up as the door burst open, revealing Joo Yena, soohyun's mother. Soohyun shut her eyes as her mother quickly closed the door behind her and said

Yena : is this what you've come to, daughter? An affair with a criminal you're supposed to be putting behind bars?

Soohyun : eomma-

Yena : no. I will not stand this, you must break up with him, soohyun.

Soohyun : there is nothing to break, we are not having an affair.

Yena looked baffled. Soohyun sighed as she stood up, facing her mother before saying

Soohyun : he was getting attacked when I saw him tonight, eomma. He had a stab wound in his stomach and was bleeding terribly. Would you rather I had just let him die?

Yena looked away, understanding the situation now. Except it was all lies, but soohyun was going to keep that to herself.

Soohyun : you have taught me to go by the law, by my morals. And I promised you I would, years ago when I became an officer. If I had let him die, I would've broken that promise of mine, and I refuse to do that.

Yena : soohyun-ah.

Soohyun : that's why I saved him, so that he can be alive when I put him behind bars. So that he can go through the torture he made everyone else go through. He means nothing to me more than just that.

Yena : then why did you opt the VIP room?

Soohyun : because it's more comfortable for me, what else.

Yena chuckled as soohyun gave her a small smile before saying

Soohyun : I will not ever let you down, eomma, I promise.

In what way, soohyun wasn't going to specify. Yena sighed and nodded, looking at seonghwa before saying

Yena : alright then, I will go tell the others that there is nothing to worry about. Stay here, hmm?

Soohyun nodded as yena gave her a small kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room. Just as soohyun was about to walk over to have some water, a voice interrupted her

Seonghwa : I mean nothing to you except being a tool for acquiring more power, soohyun?

Soohyun turned around, the sight of seonghwa staring at her with cold eyes almost shocking her

Soohyun : you're awake.

Seonghwa : quite.

Soohyun sighed as she said

Soohyun : mr park-

Seonghwa : the best torture you could put me through is to just have let me die, officer. Knowing that I died despite having the person I always thought would protect me, standing next to me? It would've been the perfect torture.

Soohyun : stop thinking I would protect you, then, mr park. You and I have been history since a long time, I have no intentions to protect you, or love you.

Seonghwa smiled as he nodded

Seonghwa : of course, of course you don't.

Soohyun was about to say something when seonghwa cut her off

Seonghwa : then leave.

Soohyun : what?

Seonghwa : I thank you for having saved me just so you could punish me, but I don't need it any longer. So you can leave now, leave so you can find evidence against me as fast as you can. Then we can finally get this over and done with, right?

Soohyun : do not make it sound like you're the victim here, park seonghwa.

Seonghwa chuckled, shaking his head

Seonghwa : neither I nor you are the victims here, the victims are the people who come to my casino. And you're the person who's supposed to save them. So go ahead, try and save them if you can. Save them all before you lose them for good, officer.

____________________________________

A month later :

It had been a month since that incident and soohyun was still trying to find evidence against seonghwa. She refused to give up, soohyun was not used to giving up. And she knew seonghwa best, she was going to try and find the virus seonghwa was using to kill the people, no matter what it took.

The will was there, but the proofs weren't. but something in soohyun still said she was getting closer to finding it. And once she did, she was going to do what she must. As for right now, what she must do is prepare herself to deal with the crowd of people she was going to have to face at her friend's birthday party. It was more like a business party though, except there would be a birthday cake. Which was why soohyun had to attend it, because being at the highest rank of police also meant having to socialize with other people at high ranks.

Soohyun handed over the key of her Porsche to the valet before walking towards the inside of the hall, the low music and the people drinking and dancing coming to her immediate view. Before soohyun could step forward, a voice interrupted her

Mina : soohyun-ie!

Soohyun turned to face the friend whose birthday party she had come for, her face twisting into a smile. But that soon disappeared as she saw the man who was standing next to her friend, a smug look on his face.

Soohyun : what the hell is he doing here?

Mina : him? Park seonghwa? Don't you know who he is?

A criminal, for her and a few people who knew about his doings in her close circle. But for everyone else in the world, he was only park seonghwa, the owner of one of the richest casinos.

Soohyun : I do know who he is, mina. What I do not know is why he's here, with you.

Seonghwa : what, you're jealous now, officer?

Soohyun glared at seonghwa, that only causing him to smile. Mina seemed to understand the tension between them.

Mina : oh no no! seonghwa's only my friend, really. He agreed to keep me company when the others were too busy socializing with other people.

Soohyun eyed seonghwa with dangerous eyes. She didn't trust him, trust the things he could do with her friend. He can always just add posion into mina's drink, and no one would ever know. But if something were to happen to mina, soohyun was sure she would kill him.

Soohyun : then go ahead. I'll go down and have something to drink.

Soohyun looked at seonghwa one last time before leaving, her mind a mess. She really needed a drink.

_________________________________________

Seonghwa let out a tired sigh, taking another sip of the alcohol as he looked around the place with bored eyes. He hated parties, he almost always had. But this one was unavoidable, as it had been his friend's birthday party as well. And he had come here for another reason as well, the more important one, even, because his rival was attending this party. And seonghwa needed to find a way in order to slip poison from the vial in his sleeve pocket to min yohan's drink. He hadn't gotten that oppurtunity yet, but he was waiting for it.

Seonghwa suddenly flinched as a loud scream cut through the hall, followed by panicked whispers and lighter sounds of confusion laced with panic. Seonghwa frowned as he stood up from his chair, looking around. His eyes widened as seonghwa finally realized the reason for the scream, fire. The top levels of the hall had been caught in fire, that slowly spreading to the lower levels as well.

The people inside the hall had already started running out through the main entrance, taking along with them whatever they found precious. Seonghwa let out a breath as his eyes searched around to find the thing that he found precious, a person. Except she was nowhere to be found, and that was when seonghwa remembered. Soohyun had Pyrophobia.

Seonghwa ran further inside the hall.

___________________________________________

Soohyun had been knocked out by the amount of alcohol in her system. And she would've laid asleep on that table even longer if it wasn't for the large amounts of heat searing into her skin from a side. That caused soohyun's eyes to shoot open, her entire body sobering up at the sight of fire in front of her. Soohyun screamed as she quickly moved away from the fire, causing her to fall down the chair as her breathing got unsteady.

Soohyun : n-no.

Soohyun was a woman who was scared of nothing, except fire. Because when it came to fire she lost all control of herself, she couldn't even think anymore. Because when it came to fire, she wasn't the 30 year old commissioner general of the Korean police, she was just a little girl who needed to be rescued.

Soohyun clutched her chest as she felt her breathing almost stop, her breaths coming out in small gasps instead. She didn't care about getting out of the way of fire, she couldn't even stand up let alone run away. Soohyun just sat where she was on the floor, tears streaming down her eyes as she looked around in panic.

Seonghwa : soohyun!

Soohyun flinched at the sound, turning around as she saw seonghwa running up to her. His hair was a mess, his eyes worried and scared. Why…why was he here?

Soohyun : seong-seonghwa?

Seonghwa quickly bent down on the floor as soon as he reached up too soohyun, holding soohyun's shaking arm as her eyes widened at the contact. Seonghwa scanned her worriedly before asking

Seonghwa : are you hurt anywhere?

Soohyun : I-I do-

Soohyun cut herself with a shriek as something cracked from behind her, seonghwa quickly moving forward to shield her body with his. Soohyun gasped as seonghwa hugged her body, letting the heat of the fire hit him instead as a pillar crashed a few meters away from them.

Soohyun : no, no move-

Seonghwa : soohyun, listen to me.

Soohyun : no you're gonna get hurt-

Seonghwa : soohyun! Please, I do not care.

Soohyun looked up at seonghwa teary eyes as he shook his head and said

Seonghwa : we have to get out.

Soohyun : I can't…can't move seonghwa, the-the fire-

Soohyun flinched as another crash was heard, her body shivering as seonghwa quickly put his hand to cover her ear. He leaned closer to her before saying

Seonghwa : look at me, focus on me.

Soohyun shook her head, looking around with panicked teary eyes. Seonghwa used his hand to force her to look at him, his eyes soft

Seonghwa : no, soohyun. There is no fire, alright? It's just me and you, I won't let anything happen to you.

Soohyun sniffed as she said

Soohyun : but…but the fire-

Seonghwa : soohyun.

Soohyun looked at seonghwa now, his eyes gazing into her as he whispered

Seonghwa : you have to trust me. There is no fire, there is nothing here that could hurt you while I'm alive.

Soohyun pressed her lips together, trying to block out the fire as she focused only on the man in front of her. And it seemed possible now, even though it wasn't supposed to.

Seonghwa : do you trust me?

With her life.

Soohyun : yes.

Seonghwa nodded as he lifted soohyun along with him before standing up, carrying her bridal style as soohyun's arms quickly wrapped around seonghwa's neck. Seonghwa quickly started walking towards the step before saying

Seonghwa : close your eyes, hyun-ah.

Soohyun did as she was told, closing her eyes as she focused on the warmth seonghwa's body provided her. She felt seonghwa climb down the steps, sometimes swiftly moving to the side probably to avoid the fire. Soohyun could feel her heart racing, the sound of fire all around causing her fear. But seonghwa's hold on her never weakened, even when she heard him let out light curses, and that calmed her down. That was until she heard a loud crack sound, her eyes quickly opening as she noticed a pillar breaking away from the wall behind them.

Soohyun : seonghwa!

Seonghwa looked up with widened eyes as he quickly moved away from where he was standing, missing the pillar only by a few inches. Soohyun let out a small whimper as she buried her head into seonghwa's neck, her arms around him tightening. Seonghwa laid one of his hand on the back of her head before whispering

Seonghwa : shh, nothing's happened.

And soon enough seonghwa ran out of the hall just a few seconds before the entire thing exploded behind them, soohyun's head still buried in seonghwa's neck. Seonghwa lowered them both onto the floor as soohyun finally let go of seonghwa's neck, her hands still trembling.

But it was gone now, she was safe now.

Seonghwa : does it hurt anywhere?

Soohyun shook her head, looking up at seonghwa who was breathing heavily. And only then did she realize that seonghwa was hurt, his entire body covered in small burns and cuts.

Soohyun : no. oh no no, seonghwa.

Seonghwa : I'm…fine.

Seonghwa hissed as soohyun's finger lightly grazed a burn on his shoulder, his lips pressed together.

Soohyun : why did you come back you bastard! You should have left!

Seonghwa : and you? What, you would've been fine just dying in there?

Soohyun shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks as she said

Soohyun : I don't want you to get hurt bec-because of me-

Soohyun cut herself off with a small sob as she realized how hurt seonghwa was, small patches of his clothes burned through, revealing wounded skin under it. Seonghwa seemed taken aback by her cries, thinking that she was probably this way because of the sudden trauma she had to through back in the hall. Of course she wasn't going to be worried for him?

Seonghwa : soohyun, shh, I-

Seonghwa cut himself off as soohyun pushed him away from her causing him to let out a small groan of pain, as soohyun stood up with tears in her eyes

Seonghwa : soohyun-ah!

Soohyun : I hate you!

Seonghwa stood up, trying to hold soohyun's arm as he said

Seonghwa : soohyun, please-

Soohyun : why would you do this to yourself just to save me, park seonghwa! You-you can't! you're supposed to fucking hate me!

Seonghwa : I am not capable of that, soohyun. So stop!

Soohyun : you should've let me die. Because if I…if I had, there'd be no one to find evidences against you.

Seonghwa : what if I want you to find evidences against me?

Soohyun paused, staring at seonghwa as he stepped closer to her and said

Seonghwa : if it means you get to be alive, then I don't care whatever happens to me. Find evidences against me, put me in jail, punish me, torture me, DO WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT! I just want you to be alive, be alive and do whatever you want to me.

Soohyun : seonghwa-

Soohyun cut herself off as seonghwa lost his balance, soohyun quickly holding him up as she lowered them to the floor with tears in her eyes

Soohyun : no. no please-

Seonghwa smiled up at soohyun with hazy eyes, touching her cheek with his hand before whispering

Seonghwa : you left me, but I would never leave you hyun-ah.

____________________________

#seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa ff #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa au #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa imagine #seonghwa x oc #ateez #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #seonghwa fic #ateez x oc #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez smut #seonghwa smut #kpop ff #kpop fanfic #kpop au #kpop fic #kpop imagine #kpop imagines

[kiwiraccoon]

Numb, Emptiness Chapter iii

Ateez OT8 x OC

Summary: after witnessing the death of her family, her uncle sends her back to South Korea to live with the eight guys he had saved over the years. They seem to be almost, if not just, as mentally messed up as she is, and the goal is for her to help them and them to help her. Time heals, but it’s already been 11 years of suffering for her, can they really help?

overall notes: MDNI mental health: depression, anxiety, ocd, antisocial, agoraphobia, personality disorders, mental breakdowns. mentions and descriptions of gruesome deaths, gore. polygamy, shared female, suggestive, fluff, smut?, building relationships. THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED OR UNDERAGE!! this not meant to depict real Ateez but an au, not about their real selves or real struggles, I took ideas from their real selves but again not meant to be negative towards them or anything against their image… THIS IS JUST MY MORBID MIND RUNNING WILD!

Word count: 2340

“What do you want for lunch?” Mingi asks, still sitting beside me in our same spots in the living room. I had been so lost in the book that I didn’t notice most of the others in the room until I looked around. Seonghwa stands in the threshold waiting for the lunch order, Wooyoung is back in the room now sitting in a further position but watching me intently, San sits next to Wooyoung leaning on him slightly as his legs rest in another’s lap. This guy refuses to look up at me, keeping his attention on his own book and I can’t for the life of me remember his name. He is one of the ones that keeps to himself, either wary of me or completely unfazed by a newcomer. Finally, someone who seems tall, just like Mingi, sits the closest but keeps his eye on Mingi watching carefully. I can see he cares for Mingi deeply, he knows the signs for his friend, he knows when to step in, and he knows that Mingi is comfortable with me. Though, no matter how comfortable Mingi may look, he needs more proof, I can see that.

“Kai?” Mingi asks again, pulling my attention back to him, I nod in his direction to acknowledge him.

“Pizza.” I respond simply, my one word being enough to send Seonghwa heading back into the kitchen and Mingi smiling softly at my expressing what I want. It wasn’t any emotion or anything, but the fact I spoke directly to his question with people around made him feel proud. I know he is determined to bring my emotions out, but he is more than willing to wait. I wish I could express my gratitude towards him for that in more ways than just saying it with a monotone voice that speaks nothing but the word.

My eyes move back to Wooyoung, meeting his eyes for the first time since he left earlier. I send him a nod to let him know I see him and am not upset at him in any way. He smiles to himself and turns his attention to what San was showing him on his phone. My own attention goes back to my book that sits lonely in my lap, I try to get back into the words and distract myself from the room around me. It’s as if the world is against me when the music completely cuts out with no warning, I know my earbuds haven’t died because I wasn’t given a warning. Immediately I shove the book onto the ground and grab my earbud from Mingi, not even taking a moment to glance at anyone else as I walk to my room.

I can feel the anxiety bubbling within me, I know what happens when I don’t have music to ground me. I can’t let them hear me. The second I enter my room I lock the door the same way I had these past two days, my chair being the reassurance that no one can get in. My body moves on its own, throwing my phone and headphones on their chargers before walking into my bathroom and stripping myself bare. The shower turns on quickly and I waste no time in standing underneath the stream not caring that the water hasn’t warmed up yet. I stand there trying to ground myself into the feel of the water and the sounds that come with it. But nothing stops my thoughts from breaking out.

You wish you could express it don’t you? You wish you could be weak? You want people to know your weaknesses again? You want someone to get into your heart so they can rip it apart? You really want that?

They won’t.

Yes, yes they will you idiot. They will get in there and they will wreck havoc on your entire being like they did.

They aren’t them.

How do you know that? Huh? You don’t know them. You know nothing. You are as ignorant as the child you were. What did I tell you? Don’t let anyone in! Don’t! No one cares about you like I do! No one! I am protecting you! I am making sure that never happens again!

You can’t do that! You are just a voice!

A voice who made you nothing but a shell. A voice who made sure no one could see your tears again. A voice who made sure no one could feed off your fear again! I am your protector!

“NO!” I yell out falling to the ground, I scream to block out its voice, I bang against the walls and floor to ground myself. 

Pathetic!

“NO! SHUT UP!” I yell out again feeling my throat burn from the volume, straining my vocal cords. I do everything to shut the damn voice up. I won’t let it control me anymore. I won’t let it stop me anymore. 

Leave me alone! You haven’t helped me! You made me nothing! You made me feel like I was nothing but a shell for people to abuse! You made it worse! You didn’t protect me! You hurt me more, let me go!

If that’s what you want. Good luck. Don’t come crawling back when it gets to be too much. I hope you realize how much I helped you.

“GO AWAY! LEAVE!” I continue telling even as I hear the banging against my bedroom door, I can feel the power within the bangs vibrating the room. But I sit there yelling, screaming, punching, and finally crying. The tears mix with the water running down my body heating up my skin, burning away the pain my void has caused. If I had never been locked in my own mind I would have never been abused. My void caused that. I let my void cause that. I did that myself.

I sob. I finally let out all my pain with screams and tears, letting it fully consume my body. I shouldn’t have ever let my void win, but I did, and now I will make it go away. “Just go away.” I sob softly, fully curling into a ball on my shower floor. 

Minutes go by and I finally stand, my sadness turns into anger as I look at myself in the foggy mirror. The water no longer runs and the silence consumes me, letting the anger at my past self take over. Before I know it my fist makes contact with the mirror, shattering it into a million pieces like the glass that had tried to conceal myself. I finally break free. My eyes lock onto the blood that drips down my fist and onto my wrist before gravity takes it to the vanity. 

The broken reflection meets my eyes when I look up and I finally see emotion on my face, I see the pain, the anger, the satisfaction. I can fully feel it all. I know the second I leave this room I will be nothing but a shell again as I try to work through my mind, to navigate the new landscape that is my full thought process being my own again. With a final sigh to ground myself I pull away and allow my sense to come back to the moment. The banging is still loud and clear against my bedroom door. I enter my room and calmly put clothes on, ignoring the stinging in the ripped skin on my right hand. My phone remains in its place hastily thrown on the charger and laying face down on my bed. 

On autopilot I put both headphones in and blast my music not allowing any sound to break through and I take my now fully charged phone and walk to unlock my door. The second my chair is moved from the door it is thrown open, and there stands my uncle. I see his lips move but I hear nothing, I try to walk around him but he grabs the wrist on my right hand noticing the blood before dragging me out of my room and down to the kitchen. He quickly grabs a first aid kit and works to clean my wounds, my eyes remain closed to block out every little thing around me. I don’t notice every occupant in the room watching my uncle tend to my needs, I don’t notice the worry Mingi barely holds down as Yunho holds him back from running over to me. I definitely don’t notice how every single person is silent and on high alert. They all heard me. I know that, but I refuse to acknowledge it. Not until I know the layout of my own mind.

~Seonghwa’s POV~

I watch with an attentive eye as her uncle works on cleaning her hand, it’s then I notice there must be left over carnage to clean from her room. I refuse to let her relive her breakdown by seeing it all again. Slipping away silently I move to my closet to grab my cleaning supplies and make my way to her room. Usually I wouldn’t invade someone’s personal space, especially their room, but the need to protect her from herself overweights that moral compass. 

The second I step into her room I can feel the tension that remains in the air, wrapping itself around me like a poorly secured straightjacket. I can smell the iron wafting in the air reminding me of the cuts in her hands and her uncle mentions pieces of glass left in her skin that he was delicately removing when I left. The windows remain intact so I turn to her bathroom and gasp at the sight I see. Mirror shards litter the vanity countertop with some finding comfort on the cold floor below. I see the blood sticking to the pieces that remain on the wall along with the drops that haphazardly dot the ground, some even making their way into her bedroom.

I feel the emotions swarming the air, filtering into my lungs and allowing me insight into her breakdown that left her silent and in her own mind. I’m not even sure she noticed all of us in the kitchen watching with worry as her uncle tended to her. She definitely didn’t hear us speak about what had happened and what we had heard. Her screams still echo in my ears and I fear they will torment my dreams, I never want to hear someone that broken again. We could hear her mental battle take over her entire being, the way she yelled at it, like it was a person standing right in front of her threatening her life. I have never seen Mingi run so fast.

The clumsiness that usually took over his large form didn’t show as he ran up the stairs effortlessly and began banging against her door. It feared he would break down the door, but even his body slamming against the wood didn’t budge the solid obstacle. She made sure no one could get in. She knew what was going to happen and I think she didn’t even want us to know. But we all heard. I watched over everyone, saw every single reaction. Hongjoong quickly called her uncle to get him home, he was the only one that knew her better than herself, even if Mingi was getting there he was in no state to be calm. Yunho watched Mingi like a hawk, noticing the fear that took over his features. None of us have ever seen him like that, and I think Yunho finally realized how much she meant to him.

Wooyoung stood behind everyone, his curiosity took in every moment. He pulled San back into his arms as San broke down, letting the older cry in his arms at the realization someone was fighting their battles alone and he couldn’t do anything about it. Wooyoung soothed him with words reminding him that she was strong, she was going to be okay, and that he was there for him. But I could tell San kept thinking about how she was alone. He hated seeing people alone. When she locked herself away these last two days San helped me make the meals for her, and brought them up to her room for me.

Jongho stood with his arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed as he listened to every word she said, he was listening to her battle. Yeosang stood beside him with his arms in the pocket of his hoodie, I could see the way he anxiously fiddled with his fingers. Neither of them were close to her but they felt her pain, they understood the rage she felt at her own thoughts. They understood why she was breaking down.

I stood next to Mingi facing everyone to look at all of them with Hongjoong behind me down the hall calling her uncle. I leaned against the wall next to her door and help a solemn look on my face, she had been a silent helping hand to me when I didn’t need it and yet I couldn’t help her. I felt so helpless. My need to care for her grew stronger in that moment and I think it did for many of us. 

Now I kneel on the floor of her bedroom, scraping the blood out of her carpet, the last task I need to complete before her room is reminder free. I have never cleaned so hard in my life but if I could help her by removing the reminder of her pain I would do it to the best of my ability and more. She has helped me by cleaning the dishes and putting them away exactly how I like them. Somehow she noticed my ways of cleaning and didn’t try to change them, I will forever appreciate that and I will show that in caring for her the way she deserves. 

She will never be alone again. She will never be abused again. She will never be nothing again. I will make sure of it.

#Ateez #Ateez x oc #Ateez fanfic #Ateez fic #Hongjoong #Hongjoong x oc #Hongjoong fanfic #Hongjoong fic #Seonghwa #Seonghwa x oc #Seonghwa fanfic #Seonghwa fic #Yunho #Yunho x oc #Yunho fanfic #Yunho fic #Yeosang #Yeosang x oc #Yeosang fanfic #Yeosang fic #San #San x oc #San fanfic #San fic #Mingi #Mingi x oc #Mingi fanfic #Mingi fic #Wooyoung #Wooyoung x oc

[jjangprince]

escalation (p.sh)

pairing(s) ➫ seonghwa x oc! (oc's name is krystal,,, pls don't ask i will always name my ocs krystal)

genre(s) ➫ romance, almost-smut, mafia au (implied)

warnings ➫ hot and bothered seonghwa, a lot of kissing, neck sucking, hickeys, mentions of sex, cussing, rated PG15

word count ➫ 2k+

synopsis ➫ seonghwa lets himself in krystal's house one early morning, only to be welcomed with a surprise.

notes ➫ this was a drabble i started in 2021 in hopes to slot it in one of my chaptered fanfictions, which well, ended up not manifesting after-all. LOL. it's a good read if u wanna envision horny-hwa i guess ... please be kind as this is my first posting here!

recommended song ➫ tally by blackpink (the rated version)

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“What’s that on your neck?”

Seonghwa’s usually poised and calm voice, was no longer evident but instead replaced with a rather harsh and cold one.

Krystal jumped at the sound of his voice. She didn’t expect him to be here, not after the argument they had a couple of days ago.

She immediately pulled her hair tie off her ponytail to hide the mark lingering around her neck. To be honest, even she herself didn’t want to see it. It was just a reminder of the disgusting event that took place last night.

Seonghwa was obviously not too happy with that answer. He took a couple of strides, that were rather big because of his height, and in no time he was right in front of the elder, blocking her path to the bathroom.

“Hwa. Move. I need to use the bathroom,” a hint of desperation was clearly heard in her voice, and he of course caught it. 

Krystal was also avoiding any form of eye contact with him. When she spoke she only looked to the sides of his face and his forehead. He caught her chin and forced her to look into his eyes. 

“I said, what’s that on your neck?”

That was the final straw for Krystal. She placed her palms flatly onto his muscled chest and pushed him away from her, the close vicinity giving her a hard time to breathe. Being close to Seonghwa always made her feel things, and not being able to breathe were one of them. She just likes him too much.

“It’s nothing-“

“-Krystal.”

Seonghwa didn’t gave up. He gripped onto her wrists next and pulled her body closely to his, their chests separated only by thin air.

His brows were furrowed as he put his thinking face on, inspecting the marks on her neck. Krystal would’ve thought he looked so hot right now if it weren’t for the aching pain between her thighs. 

“Wait. Is that a-“

“Seonghwa, please. I need to use the bathroom,” she muttered, tears welling up. The younger male only had one weakness in the world and it was the woman standing in front of him. He released his hold and took a step back to give her the space she needed, watching her wobble her way to the bathroom.

She didn’t make it. 

Her knees starting shaking so hard that she was having a hard time to even stand up straight. She dropped onto the ground, and a moment later Seonghwa was right next to her with a worried look on.

“Krystal, you need to tell me what happened so that I can help you-“

“-wait, is that blood?!”

The both of them looked at the blood trailing down her legs. Krystal winced and sighed. This wasn’t going to end well. Not when Seonghwa was there.

“Krystal, did someone touched you without consent?”

“No!” Defensively, she answered, face breaking into a sweat.

Seonghwa’s face fell. 

“You had sex with someone voluntarily?”

“That’s my personal choice, Hwa. It’s none of your business,” she looked away, sighing at the mess. 

He bit onto his lips, hiding his fury, - hiding his anger. Who dared to hurt his beauty and taint her with their dirty hands?

He gathered her into his arms and settled her onto the sink of the bathroom. 

“Does it hurt a lot princess?”

“It’s fine, it’s not my first time,” she mumbled reaching out for the contraceptive pills in her wallet. That was what she was why she urgently wanted to use the bathroom just now. 

Seonghwa’s eyes widen. That only meant-

“He cummed in you?”

Krystal let out a shaky laugh. “This conversation is starting to become very intimate, Hwa,” 

He raised a brow, arms still on both sides to her waist. 

“I’m serious. You guys didn’t use protection? That’s stupid, you know?”

Krystal looked down after swallowing the pill. “I know. But it wasn’t like I had a choice,” 

“W-What? I thought you said it was with consent? Krystal, princess, please. Make me understand-“

“I- I will tell you. But before that, I want to confront you about this:

I was very hurt when you kissed back that girl back at the club a couple days ago. I was really hurt. I ...”

She took a deep breath, closing her eyes, letting the tears fall free onto her pale cheeks, with Seonghwa intently watching, his beautiful eyebrows drawn close together.

“I ... haven’t done what I did last night for a long time. It’s been years, actually. But I did it because ... because I was so sad. And I thought yeah. Maybe I’m meant to be alone in this world and maybe that’s the sole purpose why I exist in this world,”

“I saved myself for you, Seonghwa, but I felt so broken when you kissed that woman back ...”

Seonghwa’s eyes were still furrowed. If anything, he felt more confused now more than ever.

“I don’t understand princess-“

“My father has been selling my body out to his clients in order to become Mafia King.”

Krystal finally said this in one breath, her chest heaving up and down.

It was dead silent from Seonghwa’s side, and she was almost afraid to look up to see what his facial expression holds. 

What would he feel? How would he react? Would be recoil away because of how disgusted he felt about her? She wouldn’t be surprised, because if its anyone, Krystal herself was the most disgusted with her own self. 

When she finally gathered the courage to look up, she finds herself in a disability to talk.

Seonghwa was looking straight at her, his eyes bloodshot and crying. 

“W-What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He sobbed, wiping his fallen tears hastily.

She has never seen this cold man cry. Never. Seonghwa always kept his poise and mood calm. 

“Oh my god princess, why didn’t you tell me?” He grabbed onto the back of her neck and hugged her tightly, giving Krystal and sense of comfort she never knew she could achieve. 

“Seonghwa ...” she muttered, also breaking into tears.

The sounds of their cries were deafening, but no scene was as beautiful as the one we had to witness now. Just two broken souls connecting their hearts as one, and sharing them in order for each other to survive in this cruel world.

━━━

“Fucking hell,” Seonghwa huffed before taking her by the neck. Startled, Krystal wobbled backwards into the living room and was surprised to find his lips latched onto her skin, the sound of sucking very evident in the air. She wanted to curl her toes at the sensation, it had felt so good. 

“Hwa ...” She wanted to sound stern, to ask him to stop it, but he was so good at it, and heck, she was having an even better time while he did it. She felt like she was on cloud 9.

He pulled his lips away from her neck to inspect his work of art. “I know it’s insensitive of me to do this but I can’t stand seeing an old geezer’s mark on your body. Fuck, baby, I’ll kill him on sight literally when I find out who it is,” 

Krystal nervously chuckled and bit her lips. “There’s no need for murders, Hwa,” Desperately wanting to get out of the clothes she was in from last night, she took quick steps to her bedroom. Seonghwa trailed after and this brought confusion over her mind.

“-Hwa?”

“I wasn’t done,” he growled lowly, gently pulling her next to him. “There are so many of them ...” he huffed, his fingers gently trailing over the bruising spots around her neck.

“But Seonghwa ...” she whined, feeling tired. 

“Please, baby? Either this or I find out who it is and kill him right now-“

“Seonghwa! I- fine ...”

It wasn’t as if she was not enjoying what he was doing to her anyways. A vast contrast from what was happening to her last night, she actually enjoyed his butterfly kisses. 

Seonghwa’s thick lips met her neck, and she just awkwardly stood there while he did his magic. At some point she did bit the urge to melt into his arms and let out a big, fat, moan ... but ... she didn’t want to give him that type of satisfactory, though he was making it very difficult. 

She inhaled a sharp intake of breath. 

“Seonghwa-“ she warned as he neared her sensitive spot.

He smirked. “A little sensitive over here, aren’t you?” Figuring out her weak spot, he played it with his tongue over and over, driving the woman before him crazy. 

“Fuck- Seonghwa, I-“ she gasped, gripping into his biceps, her legs growing weak as her eyes rolled to the back of her head. 

He nipped onto the spot teasingly, eyeing her beautiful orgasmic face. Gently carrying her over her knees and neck, he settled her into his lap sideways and continued his assault on her neck, the elder female letting out a sigh.

“Ah- Seonghwa-“ she whined through her half-lidded eyes, grasping onto the shirt he was wearing. When he was done, she was a panting mess, and sweaty, her hair sticking on her forehead and shoulder.

“A hot mess and I didn’t even touch you down there yet, baby,” he smiled earnestly, nuzzling his nose against her neck, satisfied with his overlapping bruises over the man’s from last night. 

“I hate you,” she said through her gritted teeth, making a move to get off his lap. She could feel something poking her thighs. 

He pulled her back. “Oh yeah?” He challenged.

“Fuck, no, Seonghwa. I like you so fucking much that I’d give you a free pass to fuck me right now until I bleed out again. It’s going to be painful but at least I’ll enjoy it unlike last night,” she hissed as she said these words, immensely turning Seonghwa on.

“And what you’d call me when I fuck you?” His deep voice shook her core. 

“W-what?”

“Come on, Krystal. I’m sure everyone has a kink when they’re having sex. What would you call me while we’re at it baby?”

Her eyes widen, gulping. Never had she wanted the earth to break into two and swallow her whole right then and there. 

“I’d call you baby, princess, my love when i’m gentle ...” he whispered down her ears, chills decorating her body.

“ ... and my slut, whore and bitch when i’m fucking your brains out,” 

“Seonghwa ...” her breath wavered as he completed his sentence.

“Come on baby tell me, what would you call me?” His tone was persuasive.

“ ... Daddy ...” she whispered, ashamed.

Seonghwa’s deep voice chuckled. It sounded heavenly to her ears. 

“What would you call me again princess? Couldn’t hear you,” 

“I’d call you Daddy, Seonghwa,” she muttered, avoiding eye contact. Her cheeks were very red now. 

“Fucking hell we’re not even at it but my cock is already hard as fuck,” he stated, voice wavering. 

“Sorry for teasing you, baby,” he gently caressed her face, carrying her from his lap and into her walk in closet. 

“I’ll leave you to yourself then. I’ll be right outside if you need anything ok, princess?” He muttered to her and smiled, earning a nod from Krystal. 

He was about to leave until he felt a tug on his shirt. 

Damn, what does she wants now? He really needed to use the bathroom. 

“Seonghwa ...” 

“Hmm?”

She stood on her tippy-toes to give him an innocent kiss. One that Seonghwa took advantage of and started to turn it into a passionate one. 

She moaned into the kiss, the vibrations transmitted from him to her. Biting her lips he thrusted his tongue into her mouth, earning a clench of fist from her side as she tried to keep up with his tempo. 

After some time they finally pulled away, breaths heavy and lips swollen red. 

“That’s enough okay, baby? Or else you’d really need to call me Daddy in a few minutes,” with that warning he left the room to fix himself up while she just stood in the middle of her closet, wondering how fast things escalated. 

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

#park seonghwa #seonghwa #seonghwa ateez #ateez smut #ateez scenarios #ateez fic #ateez x reader #ateez #seonghwa smut #seonghwa scenario #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa x oc #soft ateez smut #tuna writes #tuna's drabbles

[marslovesdaisies]

Look what you made me do || P.S.H

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Minors do not interact.

WC: 4.2k

Pairing: mafia!Seonghwa x mafia!OC

Warnings: Death, murder, violence, gaslighting, manipulation, mafia themes, weapons, angst, gore, eventual smut. I'm new at this lmk if I have missed anything.

A/N: After going through fifty different life altering events I have somehow managed to finish this chapter. It was in my drafts for 7(!) months begging to be completed. Everyone pray to whatever god you believe in for my continued writing inspiration.

Chapter 2

I didn't know what woke me up.

I remained still, not wanting anyone who may have been monitoring me to realize that I was awake. Slowly, very slowly I moved my head enough to get in more handful breaths of air while trying to recollect my memory.

There was a dull, twisting ache in my arms, my head was groggy, and I felt my cheek burning. I could remember what had happened recently, with Lee Jong In and Jaemin rushing back to me all at once. I gently wiggled my toes, trying to get back sensation. I still had my socks on, which was a good sign and better cover.

After determining that I hadn't indeed broken anything in my body, I raised my head to see where I was.

I regretted it soon though, as I suddenly heard a pair of legs coming near me. Someone gripped my hair and tugged hard, a groan escaping my mouth. My head fell forward as they let go, revealing a set of feet walking in front of me from behind. I looked up at a woman's face peering down at me, distaste written on it in bold letters. I looked around instead, letting my surroundings sink in.

It was clearly an interrogation room, plain walls on three sides with a giant glass on the left. I was sitting on a chair, my hands locked behind me. An array of chairs was strewn in front of me, all of them unoccupied though I had a rough idea who would sit in them.

"Shouldn't yo-" I started but fell short, my dry throat causing me to cough. I swallowed twice, trying again. "Shouldn't you get your boss?" I motioned to the glass panel to my left, which I was very certain was see through from the other side.

"You're a cocky one, aren't ya?" She responded in a dull voice, taking a step closer. I looked at her, properly. "You're beaten up, tied to a chair in an enemy base, and you still make demands. You're cocky."

I wanted to retort, but didn't. My throat was extremely parched and I felt it would tear and bleed if I tried to say anything again. I had become vaguely aware that most buttons of my shirt were open, most likely to check for weapons. My nose curled in distaste at the thought of being touched, but there weren't any visible bruises. Before I could examine my situation a bit more thoroughly, I was yanked by my hair again.

"Yo-you.." I panted. My throat was closing up, most likely an effect of the drug I had been injected with. " You've to stop..." She gripped my face next, fingers almost digging into my flesh. "...stop doing that."

She peered into my face, and I held her gaze as much as I could. Suddenly, the door behind her opened, and I could hear feet shuffling in. The woman took a step back, and Jaemin stepped into view. He signaled the woman to leave, and with a last lingering glance in my direction she did.

He kept staring at me, waiting for me to break the silence. I took a daring glance to my left instead at the glass, as I reclined slightly and stretched. Jaemin's gaze followed mine and he smirked, voice low and very suggestive as he said, "Hoping to see someone there?" I refused to answer, though he was looking at me like he could read my mind, knew what had happened before. I wouldn't be all that surprised if he did know. Jaemin was a powerful, influential man.

There was a familiar ringing in the room, and I followed the noise to see my phone on a corner table, ringing. I could think of a lot of people who would be calling. I didn't know how much time had passed since i had left my house, I realized with a jolt. My first guess was Jun, since I had tried calling him before. Jaemin though did not look like he had any intentions of picking it up. I noticed a bottle of water beside the device, and a shiny black object. It was my gun.

"What do you want." I managed to grit out. "From you, Iseul? I could list a lot of things actually." I glanced up. He was still smirking, eyes glinting. He knew I understood what he was implying. I glanced away, and he laughed. "What were you doing at the warehouse though? It looks like you know Jong In quite well." Again, I didn't answer. My hands were aching horribly, and my eyes could tear up any moment. I shifted in my chair, slightly easing the pain. He picked a chair and sat in front of me. "Lin, I will ask you again. Why were you at the warehouse?"

"Why does your boss want me?" He didn't answer, choosing to give out a long, dragged out sigh.

"Jaemin," I breathed. "You understand that taking me has consequences, right?" "Oh darling," He leaned in close, voice losing a few octaves. "I know who you are. " My blood chilled as he continued, "You're not that discrete about it." I dared to look at him, dreading his expression. Jaemin though looked unfazed.

"Lin." He waited till I looked back up, hesitant. "You may not realize it, but it is very important that you have an explanation for why you were at the warehouse when you were."

I weighed my options carefully. I didn't want to sound suspicious, but I couldn't give up a lot of information either. I didn't have to in the end, because just as I was about to say something, the door opened, and-

"Iseul?"

A bewildered tone from another familiar voice rang, and I looked up at Jung Wooyoung who was already staring at me. Despite myself, I smiled. A short, clipped, pained smile which had nothing to do with my aching jaw. "Hello, Wooyoung."

"Why are you here?"

"Jaemin here," I cocked my head towards the sitting man. "was just telling me that."

Wooyoung looked at his colleague, waiting for an answer. Jung Wooyoung was, for a lack of a better word someone I would go as far as calling a friend. Outside of business, obviously. He was easy to get along with when he wasn't working. Said friend's voice broke me out of my haze as he said,

"When Yeosang said Hyung caught an interesting fish, I hadn't expected to come see a Lin tied in our building. Iseul even more so."

So the other person in the warehouse waiting in the shadows had been Kang Yeosang. Another chill threatened to run down my spine. Just what had I gotten myself into? I definitely regretted going alone. This looked serious. It didn't help that I could still feel a sharp gaze on me from somewhere. Wooyoung's face showed slight confusion, and something else which he quickly covered with nonchalance.

He gave Jaemin a look, to which the latter simply shrugged. "Park's orders. I had no say in it."

"Wooyoung?" I asked tentatively. He spared me a glance, willing me to continue. His expression had changed after Jaemin's words. It was clear he did not want to do anything that could go against Park Seonghwa's wishes. I swallowed, indicating at the table. "Could you get me some water?" He looked visibly relieved at my request, and moved to get the bottle. Kneeling in front of me, he held it to my lips.

"Why do you want me?" I whispered in his ear so low, even he would have trouble hearing it. But he refused to answer, jaw clenching ever so slightly and with good reason. I sighed, focusing instead on getting the liquid down my parched throat. He stepped back, screwed the cap shut and threw it at Jaemin, who caught it easily. Without looking behind, he went out of the door, expression grim and rapidly conversing with someone who must have just arrived outside.

Their tone suggested they weren't happy about something, but my connection was lost as the door shut off completely, leaving me alone with Bang Jaemin who kept staring at me with a closed off expression.

I decided to ignore him, closing my eyes instead. I was tired. Beyond anything, I was tired and aching. Tear were threatening to form at the back of my eyes so I kept taking long subtle breaths through my mouth to let the feeling pass.

"Lin."

I remained still, not having the energy to look up. Jaemin took this as an invitation to go on. "Listen up, Lin." His voice was low, slight urgency in it. It felt like he did not want the others outside to hear us. Jaemin was definitely older than the eight of Ateez, and that too by a lot. He was also almost as powerful as them, and definitely had half of the criminal side of Seoul quaking at his name. Very few knew why he hadn't tried becoming a kingpin, and a lot wondered including me. His power was second only to Kim Hongjoong and his circle. Men in Ateez respected the fuck out of him, and his word was usually law. He had a lot of assets to his name as well, it wasn't as if he didn't have interest in amassing power. Quite the opposite was true, if you knew about him at all. Yet, he refrained from going after the highest spot. He was truly a confusing man, if not more so than his boss.

"A word of caution for you," he started. "whatever you've done, cut your losses and move on. Seonghwa is not very forgiving. Don't rub him the wrong way, given your history. He won't hesitate to put a bullet in your skull, Lin blood or not."

I said nothing. Its not as if I didn't know that already. I had met the man before, after all. Jaemin pulled back, seemingly done with his caution. My phone rang again. I looked at it and then at the man in front, who this time actually did get up from the chair and walk towards the device. With a glance at the screen, he declined the call.

The door opened yet once more, the woman from before walking back in. A man followed her in, whispering something in his boss's ear before taking his place at the wall near the door. Jaemin looked ready to leave. Someone tall walked in again, this time with a chair in hand.

Excluding the newly brought in chair, there were six lying around the room. The woman strutted towards me, with a sway to her walk that definitely wasn't there twenty minutes ago. She grabbed my face again, making me look up at her. She was enjoying this, clearly. This show of power over me. Her smug face made me see red. I yanked her right leg to the side with my left leg, and kicked her kneecap hard with heel of my foot. An audible pop echoed with her scream, and a masculine curse from the man who had brought the chair in.

"I'd told you not to do that. I will break your leg if you do it again." I gritted out. "Know your place."

She got up, her leg wobbling from the harsh impact. A sharp sting reverberated through my cheeks, probably because she must have punched me again. She was strong. But now I was madder. I prepared to kick her again, this time with the intention to break.

"Jen, you should leave." The man said in a tone that exuded gentle finality. She stepped back, not liking the order. I looked at the man, recognizing another face. Jeong Yunho. Whatever gentleness he had in him disappeared as he looked at me. He took a seat, looking relaxed as he eyed me up and down. His gaze didn't even bother stopping at my exposed torso.

"I have to say, when Wooyoung said Yeosang brought a Lin I didn't really believe him at first. Looks like he really did drag the princess out of her castle."

I pointedly ignored his last jab. The man at the door held it open and a few more bodies lined up, taking up places on the empty chairs. I watched Wooyoung come back in, followed by a person I did not want to talk to. I wouldn't know what to say anyway.

"Holy, that really is her." I looked at the latest man to say that, who seemed to be saying it to Yunho. So that was Mingi, I mused. He wasn't really seen outside much. He took a seat beside the former man, looking at me with slight curiosity. My gaze veered left, making contact with a set of eyes who looked like they wanted me to catch fire.

"Long time no see, San." I addressed him, knowing he wouldn't like it. Jaemin had warned me about not provoking Seonghwa, but he hadn't said the same about anyone else.

Wooyoung held his friend's arm, silently asking him to not take my bait. I smiled widely, despite myself. I was sure my eyes would be gleaming. The looks on the other's faces was confirmation enough.

"My my, it really is true." I groaned at the voice, knowing fully well whom it belonged to. "Yeosang was right, Seonghwa has brought in an interesting little bird."

I looked at Kim Hongjoong, the leader of Ateez. He was dressed like he had just travelled here, a black coat over his no doubt immaculate clothes underneath. "Really, Kim? You are calling me little?" I was taller than him.

He gave a smile, "Really, Lin? You are provoking me?" "Dragging me here has consequences, Kim. You know that just as well as your right hand. You can't hold me here, not like this. Not without an explanation." "I'm here to simply watch, princess. I trust my right hand enough." I gritted my teeth. "And where is this right hand of yours? Fashionably late?"

I wondered if I shouldn't have said that, because like a summoned creature the doorway darkened with two shadows, Kang Yeosang and Park Seonghwa himself.

Yeosang took a chair without any looks in my direction, face cold as always. I finally forced myself to look at the last person who had come in. He was already looking at me, a smirk on his face as he brought a chair forward to occupy it. I didn't fail to notice how the others were simply spectators, clearly not a part of this ploy. Except for Yeosang, but he didn't seem to be inclined to join the conversation anytime soon.

Park Seonghwa was......an enigma. An undeniably handsome enigma who was currently wearing a perfectly tailored black pinstriped suit and looking at me with eyes that looked like a predator enjoying watching his prey squirm.

"I'm hurt, princess. You don't give me enough credit for the beautiful trap I set for you. So when you ran your mouth asking for explanations, I'd have them all ready waiting at the warehouse. You bruise my ego," he fake pouted.

"Don't call me that."

"What? Princess? But it's the truth. Don't like what you are?"

I said nothing. Like clockwork, my phone's ring came back, and Seonghwa's expression changed from smirking to annoyed.

"Shut that damn thing off, it has been going off since the warehouse."

Yeosang got up silently, covering the distance in long steps. He picked my phone up and held it for Seonghwa to see, most likely to show who had been calling. He slid the ringer toggle down, and pocketed it. He must be planning to go through it later. He wouldn't find anything, except for photos- shit.

"What do you think you're doing with my phone, Kang?"

There was a sinking feeling in my stomach, he was going to look at the gallery. He was going to find out. Shit, Shit. There was nothing I could do. Dread started to settle over my already clouded mind and I was already looking for ways to explain what he would definitely deduce from one look at my photos.

"Going through it." He said matter-of-factly. I tried not to show any fear. There was no use asking him back for it, he wouldn't even entertain me.

Seonghwa was observing me with a cold calculation, and I decided to drop the issue for now. He would catch up with my fear if I continued so instead, I decided to focus on him, popping the million dollar question.

"Why am I here?"

He gave me a once over, eyes lingering on my torso. I knew what he was looking at, and I didn't want him to. "Eyes up here, Park." His gaze travelled upwards, and I raised an eyebrow at him. "Well?"

"Well, you tell me, princess. Why was Lin Iseul, the only child of Lin Baek Ho, the owner of everything in Seoul's underworld, the forgotten heir to her father's throne, the hidden queen on her uncle's chessboard, the owner apparent of every club in Gangnam, the most normal person from your family, at Lee Jong In's warehouse, talking to that man like you knew him for ages?"

He counted every title he gave me on his fingers, making a performance out of it. He looked utterly delectable doing that, and I shoved that feeling deep down.

There was silence in the room after his impressive monologue of my resume, and the guard at the door was gawking at me. I glared at Seonghwa, who looked like he had got me where he wanted. With the ball in my court. My next words would decide my future with these people. His eyes bore into mine, waiting for me to speak.

I stretched my feet a little, his eyes not missing the action. Testing the binds on my hands that had the guard touching his weapon, I took some more time to get comfortable.

"I want my phone back." I said in a final tone. A few eyebrows were raised, but I kept my gaze steady.

"No."

"Then I have nothing to say to you."

Seonghwa's lip curled. "Nothing?"

"Nothing." I repeated.

He was silent for some time. He was waiting, I realized quickly for me to break the silence. Well, he had a thing coming for him then. I knew techniques of intimidation better than anyone. I wasn't going to fall for this one. I waited with him, a challenge glowing in his eyes and boredom showing on my face.

"Why do you want it back, surely you aren't stupid enough to keep classified information on it?" I gave him an are-you-serious look.

"Why wouldn't I want it back? Its my phone after all. Wouldn't you feel weird if I went through your phone?" Come on, take the bait, take the bait. I kept my features normal, looking at him inquisitively. Hopefully he wasn't hearing my heartbeats rise.

He reached inside his jacket and fished out his own phone. One of many, I assumed.

He looked at me. "If you wanted me to untie your hands, you should have just asked."

I gave him a sheepish smile. "Now where's the fun in that?"

He threw the phone on my lap. "I know your left hand is free, princess. You are good, but you underestimate me."

I stared at him. Slowly, I brought my left hand in front. The cuffs were strong and locked, so I had simply pulled apart the chain that connected it to the other loop. My hand was sweaty and red where the cuff cut, and Park was unapologetically staring at the bind, eyes dark.

"Do cuffs entice you?"

Someone behind choked on a laugh. We had a audience, I remembered with a start. They had been so silent all this time, it was easy to forget them.

Seonghwa's eyes though were still on my wrist, unblinking. "Sometimes."

He leaned back in his chair, adjusting his sleeves.

"Do you enjoy seeing me tied up, Mr. Park?" I asked slowly, letting my voice deepen a bit. His eyes met mine, an arch in his left brow.

"Seonghwa is enjoying this more than he's letting on, Iseul." Wooyoung said with a smirk from behind. I kept staring at the man, coaxing him to admit it.

"Depends. Would you do something if I did?" His response was clipped, and I knew I was getting to him.

"What do want me to do, Mr. Park?" My voice came out lower than I wanted it to. His nostrils flared. With a shake of his head, he laughed. "You're good at this, Lin. Almost had me there. You're quite the manipulator." My spirit dampened at being caught, and I was now hoping he wouldn't read too much into it. I still kept my smile, trying to get him back to his state seconds ago.

"Almost?" I asked with a tentative smile. His gaze hardened, all humour gone. "Don't push it." My smile dropped, along with my facade. He had caught on. I shouldn't try again so soon. I held the phone instead, unlocking the device. It was password protected, and I raised a brow at him.

"7 3 2 1 5 4." I punched the code, and the screen clicked open. Making a show of looking around the device, I checked if it had a sim. I couldn't type messages, it would be too obvious. But I had a hunch I needed to confirm. One digit at a time and taking gaps in between, I dialed my cousin's number. I nonchalantly lowered the volume to minimum so the ring wouldn't be heard, and pressed exit. I glanced up at Seonghwa, who was looking at me like a hawk, sizing up my every move. I had a sinking feeling that he knew what was going on but let me continue anyway, wanting to see what I would do.

With a resigned sigh to distract my audience, I hit the call button. Now it was time for the show to start.

Kim Hongjoong leaned ahead, Yeosang and the guard following. Seonghwa put up a hand, asking them to pause.

The call connected in two rings as I put it on speaker.

Lin Renjun's voice reached my ears, familiar and lilted. "Park. I hadn't expected another chat so soon." That was all the confirmation I needed.

I leveled a scorching look at Seonghwa, which usually had lesser men spilling their guts at my feet. Literally. But he just blankly stared at me, giving away nothing. "Park, are you there?" My cousin was still on the other end of the line. "Is this about her?"

I cut the call. I didn't need to hear more. I threw the device at Seonghwa's head, and he caught it without hassle. He put it back in his pocket, massaging his neck. His next words were crystal clear, like he was unbothered about the revelation.

"Now that you've confirmed how you got here, lets move on to the why."

"What do you do, Lin?"

I tilted my head up at Kim Hongjoong, who had asked the question. "What do you mean?" "Where do you work, since you're the normal one?" I gulped. My gut told me I wasn't going to like where this was heading. "I have a degree in business development." "Yes, we're aware of it. But where do you use that brain of yours?" "I handle the commercial properties we own." "I see." I waited for him to contradict me, but he seemed done with his questions for now.

I returned my gaze at Park Seonghwa, who was still sitting in front of me.

"Twenty seven men." He abruptly said. Seonghwa's deep timber travelled my body, leaving tiny tingles all over my skin.

"Twenty seven men have gone missing under suspicious circumstances in the past two years ever since Lee Jong In's apparent death." I waited for him to continue. "Your family has also lost men, princess," "Everyone has."

"Exactly. Every family, organisation, everyone who has secrets to hide have lost men." He took a pause, and I held my breath waiting for him to finish.

"What secrets was Jong In hiding that you had to try to kill him?"

"I didn't try to kill him, but whoever did attempt it didn't do a really good job, obviously. Considering that vile man is still alive."

"Obviously." He repeated the word, like a robot.

"What does this have to do with me here?"

"Be patient, princess. I am getting to that. Do you agree that you had been with Jong In hours before he went missing?" Dread settled low in my stomach. I contemplated lying, but decided against it. He must have already been told what I had said to Lee at the warehouse. I was sure my skin had paled visibly. Slowly, hesitantly, I nodded. I knew what the next question was going to be, and I absolutely did not want to answer it. There were too many holes in my story. With a sinking feeling, I gathered enough strength to look at the man occupying the place opposite to mine as he asked the one question I had refused to answer for so long.

"Then why don't we start by you telling us what exactly happened between you and Lee Jong In's son two years ago?"

A/N: I may add a moodboard later, depending on my mood. Happy reading!

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

#ateez #ateez fanfic #mafia ateez #seonghwa #hongjoong #ateez smut #choi jonho #kang yeosang #song mingi #jung wooyoung #park seonghwa #kim hongjoong #jeong yunho #choi san #seonghwa smut #kpop #fanfic #seonghwa x reader #mafia seonghwa smut #seonghwa x oc #ateezfanfic #ateez seonghwa #ateez scenarios #ateez x reader

[kpop-stories-21]

Cordis et Domus Everte | Two: "Rebellion"

Group: ATEEZ

Pairing: Fem!OC x Rebel Leader! Seonghwa

Word Count: 1.9k

Genres + AUs: Dystopian AU, Uprising/Rebellion AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Trigger Warnings: Strong language, blood, violence, minor character death, rioting, fighting, discrimination, attempted rape, derogatory use of the word "slut"

Tags: @kpop---scenarios @jeonrose @skittlez-area512 @umbralhelwolf @lukai-m @skeletor-ify @biaswreckingfics @bloopbloopkai @trashlord-007 @liliesofdreams @rdiamond2727 @naturalogre

A/N: As I have said many times, I am not the best at writing angst, so the middle bit of this chapter really hurt to write. I want to stress that I do not condone rape or any of the others terrible things that take place in this chapter. I also do not think that the idols I write about actually have the personalities I give them.

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Footsteps raced through the corridor, urgency in their pounding as they sped along the concrete. Heads turned to look as a young man with blonde-streaked black hair flew past them towards the meeting room at the centre of their underground compound.

The doors swung inward wildly as Jung Wooyoung flew into the room, garnering the attention of the small group of people that were gathered at the long wooden table. 

"Seonghwa-hyung!" He cried out, addressing the red-haired man seated at the head of the table. "Concillor Na's soldiers are raiding Gwanjaë!" 

Gasps and muttered expletives circled the room as everyone processed the information. 

"How bad is it?" Seonghwa queried, steel in his dark eyes. 

"It's pretty bad." Wooyoung informed him. "According to Yeonjun, they set a large portion of the town on fire and were killing people left and right. The fire was put out, but the soldiers are still there, going through every house. They seem to be searching for something, or someone." 

A tall brunette male stood, fear and anger swirling in his chocolate eyes. "We have to help them, Hyung. Yunho and his apprentice are the only Healers, they will need Yeosang's help." 

Seonghwa nodded in acknowledgement of the man's words. "Don't worry Mingi, we will help them." He turned to the man at his right and began to issue orders. 

"Hongjoong, assemble the raid squad. We don't know how many of Na's soldiers are there, so we will need everyone to come. Have them ready to go in ten minutes, that is all the time we can spare." 

Hongjoong ran a hand through his close-cut blonde hair, then stood and hurried from the room. 

"Wooyoung, take Mingi and go rouse Yeosang. Inform him of the situation and tell him he has ten minutes to prepare his herbs. If anyone needs me, I'll be in my quarters getting ready." 

Wooyoung grabbed Mingi's hand and the two ran out. Seonghwa was right behind them, hurrying to get dressed in clothing appropriate for the impending battle. 

Gwanjaë needed them.

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦

Sonji had never seen a raid this bad. Blood and death hung in the air, and she soon lost count of how many times she'd narrowly missed getting impaled by a sword. It was in those moments that she was grateful Mingi had taught her how to wield a blade and defend herself. 

Laughter reached her ears, the mean kind that meant no good. Gripping her sword tightly she ran toward the source, ready to defend whoever was in trouble from the cruel taunts of her father's soldiers. 

Rounding the corner, she was greeted with a sickening sight. Three young, well-muscled soldiers had surrounded a handsome younger man with night-black hair. Two were holding him down while the third ran blood-stained hands all over the man's slim, fit body. As she stealthily inched closer, she began to hear what they were saying. 

"Quite the lucky catch, wasn't he, hyung?" boasted one of the soldiers holding the man. 

"Indeed he was Dejun. You have good eyes." His companion agreed with a laugh. Then he turned his head and addressed the third soldier. "Hey Jaehyun, you gonna leave any of him for us?"

Jaehyun's smirk could be heard in his voice as he replied, "Keep your mouth shut, Yuta, and maybe I will."

Sonji felt icy-hot anger spread through her as she heard their names and realized they were the same three soldiers that Mingi said kept hitting on him. According to the brunette, they were stupidly stubborn and wouldn't take no for an answer, often thinking only with their downstairs brain. She gripped her sword tighter and stepped out from the shadows. Sonji didn't like killing, but if you hurt an innocent person or messed with her friends, she would rip you to shreds.

"Hey asshats, why don't you pick on someone your own size?" She yelled out, immediately garnering their full attention.

The one named Jaehyun chuckled. "Well, look who we have here! Your dad's really keen to have you back Sonji, even offered to pay the ones who brought you to him." He drew his own sword and stalked toward her. "Surrender and I might go easy on you." 

"Never." Sonji hissed, lunging towards Jaehyun. 

"Then let's have some fun!" Jaehyun shot back as he raced to meet her. 

There was silence for a while as the two traded blow after blow, neither backing off an inch. Then, when it seemed Sonji was beginning to gain the upper hand, the taunting began. 

"Y'know, you're pretty cute Sonji. If you surrender now, we could have some fun before I turn you over to your dad." 

Sonji growled and swung her blade, slicing a wide cut in Jaehyun's left shoulder. "I'd rather die, thanks." 

"You realize I'm going easy on you, right? I could kill you in the blink of an eye if I wanted to." 

Sonji glared at him. "Do you ever shut up?!" She snapped, giving him a matching cut on his right leg. 

Jaehyun just chuckled. "Hey, you think if I bring you in, your friend Mingi will finally let me have him? He's such a slut, no one else would want him. I'd probably be doing him a favour." 

Sonji felt unbridled fury rise up inside her at the filth that poured from Jaehyun's mouth and she saw red. Then, without warning, everything went black.

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦

Yeosang watched the fight from where he lay on the ground, held in place by two of the soldiers who'd cornered him. He didn't know this girl named Sonji who'd stepped in to rescue him, but he was grateful for her help. When he heard Jaehyun's comment about Mingi, calling him her friend; Yeosang felt his blood boil, while also realizing this meant she was Yunho's apprentice. 

When Sonji fell to the ground suddenly, Yeosang's heart skipped. Had the soldier's words distracted her that much? 

Before he could dwell on the thought too much, Sonji slowly began to rise, the air around her humming with magic. Yeosang felt his mouth drop open when her head came up and he caught sight of the red glow that consumed her eyes. 

Red fire sprang to life in Sonji's hands and she began hurling orbs of it at the three soldiers. For a while their shields protected them, but soon the metal began to glow and became too hot for them to hold. A fire orb hit each of them in the chest and they were dead before they hit the ground.

The glow faded from Sonji's eyes then and she stumbled, falling onto her knees. She wavered unsteadily for a moment, then she stilled and lifted her head. Her brown eyes gazed about in shock and confusion, then she shook her head and stood. Walking towards him, she extended a hand and pulled Yeosang to his feet.

"Are you alright? Did they hurt you?" She asked him. 

"I'm fine." He told her. "Just a few cuts and scratches, nothing major." 

"Yunho can fix them up for you. Oh, my name's Sonji, by the way." She said with a smile. 

"Nice to meet you Sonji, I'm Yeosang." He replied, returning her smile. 

"Nice to meet you as well, Yeosang. Now, let's go find Yunho." She declared, motioning for him to follow her. 

✦✧✧ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦ - ✧✧✦

As she lead Yeosang to Yunho's dwelling, Sonji racked her brain trying to remember what happened after she'd blacked out. Her mind was frustratingly empty, and the blank space pricked worryingly at her nerves. What exactly had she done to Jaehyun and his friends? When she came to her senses, they looked like they'd had their hearts burned right out of their chests.

All thoughts flew from her head the moment she entered the dwelling and found Yunho talking cheerfully with several unfamiliar men. Among them sat Mingi, who looked extremely relieved to see both her and Yeosang. 

The conversation died away as soon as the two of them stepped in, and Sonji found everyone staring at her. Sonji hated people staring at her because she knew they would ask about her scar, and the last thing she wanted was to relive that nightmare on a daily basis. Yunho seemed to notice her becoming uncomfortable and quickly spoke up, drawing most of the attention back to him. 

"I'm glad you made it back Sonji. Are you alright?" 

Sonji nodded, then gestured to Yeosang. "I rescued Yeosang here from some soldiers and wanted you to look him over to make sure he's okay." Yunho smiled and motioned for Yeosang to sit beside him. Sonji followed, standing nearby as Yunho examined Yeosang. 

"So what exactly happened?" Asks one of the strangers, a red-haired male with striking features. 

Sonji launched into her account of coming across Jaehyun and his friends assaulting Yeosang, and her short battle with Jaehyun before blacking out. Then Yeosang picks up, describing everything that happened while Sonji was unaware. 

Sonji was shocked to hear what she did unconsciously, and it scared her. She had never had much to do with magic until she met Yunho, so she felt quite lost and unable to explain why such a thing could have happened. Fortunately, Yeosang spoke up and answered some of Sonji's unasked questions.

"All of this points to you being a Berserker."

Sonji looked at him in confusion. "What exactly is a Berserker?"

Yeosang smiled patiently. "A Berserker is someone who can channel powerful bursts of magic whenever they feel strong emotion. Overtime, as you begin to master your abilities, you will be able to control the episodes and remain conscious during them." 

When Yeosang finished speaking, Yunho jumped in, eyes wide with realization. "Sonji, this has to be why your father ordered the raid! He must've found out you were a Berserker and wanted you back so he could control your abilities." 

Sonji felt all eyes return to her as soon as it was revealed who her father was. Shifting uncomfortably, she wished that for once Yunho had just kept his mouth shut and shared this thought later once everyone had left. 

"You're Concillor Na's missing daughter?!" The red-haired man exclaimed, looking quite angry. "Yunho, are you certain she can be trusted?" 

Yunho glared at the man. "I know you're concerned about your group, but damn it Seonghwa, that was completely uncalled for!"

Offended, Sonji leapt to her feet, for once not bothered by sharing her past. She explained everything her parents did to her, how she got the scar on her face, and how Mingi saved her life by bringing her to Yunho. "I would never do anything to help my dad, I'd rather do whatever I can to destroy everything he's worked for."

At this the man, Seonghwa, backs off. "I apologize for coming on so strongly, but as the leader of a rebellion against the Concillus, I have to be extremely careful." 

Sonji nodded, sitting back down beside Yeosang. "I understand, and I accept your apology." She smiled faintly, an expression that Seonghwa returned. 

“As a way of making things up to you, would you like to join my group? It would be a good way to do things that would affect your father." 

Sonji barely even pauses to consider, seeing her hopes of revenge opening up before her eyes. "Yes, I'd like that. I'll gladly join your group."

Seonghwa’s faint smile widened into something a bit more genuine. “Then welcome, Na Sonji, to The Guerillas.”

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#thekpoparchives #ficscafe #8makesoneteamnet #ateez #seonghwa x oc #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #maturefanfic #21+ #au #fanfic

[shadequeen712]

Book of Shadows

Chapter Two - The Ghost of Sweet Revenge

Genre: witch au, demons, angst, poly relationship

Pairing: Seonghwa x Hongjoong x OC, San x Wooyoung

Warnings: Morally ambiguous characters, light torture (just bondage really) and a lot of dark magic

Notes: I know Wooyoung seems like a super possessive, jealous boyfriend right now, but I promise he’ll get better. And since this is a dark magic au, pretty much all of Ateez is gonna be morally ambiguous in this one. Hongjoong leans towards the darker side of morality for sure. It’s not quite a warning, but please keep it in mind. 

The smell of saltwater assaulted the senses, and the ship rocked like a warning. Hongjoong steered the Horizon peacefully despite the horrible weather conditions, humming an old pirate tune to himself as he navigated the murky depths. The sky was blackening faster than he would have liked, but he knew they still had time to reach land. If rain were in the air, he would be able to smell it. But all he could sense was the sea below, guiding him like an old friend.

He was so focused on the ocean that he failed to notice a warm presence creeping up behind him. He nearly startled when he felt arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. Hongjoong smiled down at the long fingers knitted together, decorated by a single silver ring, engraved with the star-like crest of their coven. Hongjoong bore an identical tattoo on the back of his neck. Each one of them had the same mark- the mark of a witch, the symbol of their power.

"You're up early," Hongjoong said, half-turning to face Seonghwa. "You didn't have to get up with me."

Seonghwa tucked his face into Hongjoong's neck, speaking into the warm skin there. "You didn't have to get up without me. It's too cold when you're gone."

Hongjoong hummed, "The ship was too rocky for me to sleep. Besides, someone has to steer this thing."

"I thought it was Mingi's turn to steer the ship."

Hongjoong shook his head. "He's still fast asleep. And we both know he won't be getting up until this afternoon."

Despite the lack of moisture in the air, thunder crackled in the clouds above. Flashes of lightning revealed ghastly faces peering down at them like angry gods of old. Hongjoong felt the hair on his arms stand to attention, and he knew that this was no ordinary storm.

"Seonghwa, wake the others," Hongjoong ordered quickly, unraveling himself from the man's arms. Seonghwa stared at him in alarm, still disoriented and sleepy. But Hongjoong couldn't begin to explain the danger they suddenly found themselves in. He feared even speaking the name of the fearsome creature would seal their fates.

Seonghwa rushed off, seeing the grim look on Hongjoong's face. Hongjoong lingered, staring up at the sky, listening.

And then he heard the distant wailing, like a banshee proclaiming their imminent deaths. Hongjoong shut his eyes, feeling his insides turning. He knew what was coming, and why the creature was sent to find them. To find him. The magic they had, the magic stolen from the heavens to protect them from hunger and despair, belonged to the stars. Hongjoong was born into magic, but the others weren't as lucky. They were the outcasts of the world, the forgotten and the uncared for.

When he found Seonghwa standing on the roof's edge of his mansion, ready to throw his life away from the sheer unfairness of it all- Hongjoong didn't hesitate to call on the stars. He wished and prayed with everything in him, hoping that the stars would fill Seonghwa with light and laughter, with joy and life, so he could live to see another day.

Hongjoong never expected the stars to answer him. At that young age, he didn't understand that those distant stars were actually old souls, the souls of witches passed over. So when the lights came like he asked, filling up the empty rooftop that would soon be Seonghwa's grave - Hongjoong didn't waste a second. He took the light in his hands, whisked Seonghwa away from the edge, and fed him the stars.

Humans can never possess magic. It is the most absolute of magical rules, one that Hongjoong knew very well. And still, he could not leave this boy alone to die. Hongjoong knew that one day, the stars would punish him for stealing their souls, for interrupting their peaceful existence in heaven.

But now, the stars were angry with them. The souls were gathering in the heavens, coming to reclaim the magic that was never meant to be theirs. But Hongjoong would be damned if he let them take away everything he had ever worked for.

He gripped the wheel of the ship, feeling the light from his inner star glow. He started to pray again, but not to the old witches looking down on them with hatred. He prayed to the only power strong enough to fight them off.

If the forces of light would not accept them, then he would turn to their enemies, the shadows.

...

Aurora woke up in a cold sweat. She could still feel the light brush of Seonghwa's lips on her neck, and the smell of saltwater lingered as if she had recently been out to sea. Aurora wasn't sure why she was dreaming of Hongjoong's time out at sea, or why she was dreaming about him at all.

It made absolutely no sense to her. Aurora had said all but two words to the man, promised him a solution that she didn't even have, and then left as quickly as she came. And now that she had a moment of clarity, in which she realized that she was not an all-powerful witch like the rest of the coven but just an ordinary human with impressive manifestation abilities, she also realized that she was not the person they needed.

Hongjoong's rejection might have had something to do with her sudden dip in confidence. Also Wooyoung's outright disdain for her presence wasn't helpful either.

After visiting Hongjoong, Seonghwa had explained everything he could about what they needed from her. Like he said, she was a human with the heart of a witch. There were a few human souls that possessed an affinity for magic because they believed with everything in them, and apparently she was one of those rare individuals. And after hearing the news of her ex's untimely death, Aurora was not one to argue.

According to an ancient spell, a human's love could reverse the curse of a demon. It wasn't as cliche as true love's kiss, and not nearly as simple. She would have to learn to love Hongjoong, and he would have to learn to love her. With their mutual feelings overriding the dark magic, the old woman's skin would slip off of Hongjoong like an uncomfortable dress. Or at least, Seonghwa hoped as much. It was his first time attempting such an old magic after all. It was the stuff of fairytales.

Once Aurora heard her true purpose in all of this, that instead of learning magic or manifesting a happy ending, she would have to work for the attention of a man that wanted nothing to do with her, she promptly asked for San to take her home.

She just couldn't believe that this was what it came down to. Love? It was ridiculous. How could love fix a demon's curse?

The sound of a meow at her window startled her. She sat up in bed, looking out at the windowsill where San sat perched, getting drenched in the early afternoon rain. She crawled over and peered right into his big yellow eyes. "What do you want?" She asked.

He meowed again in response, pawing the glass.

"I'm not letting a grown man in my room," Aurora asserted. "Especially not one with a surly boyfriend."

"You're a grown woman," San said as a cat, which scared the shit out of Aurora, "And Wooyoung doesn't mean to be rude. He's just a little possessive."

"A little?" Aurora challenged. "I hugged you, and he glared at me like I grabbed your ass or something."

San rolled his eyes, and instead of waiting for Aurora to welcome him in like the last time, he simply leapt onto her bed from outside like the glass was invisible. He settled into a ball by her legs. "I don't care what he thinks. He's not my fucking owner."

"Have you told him that?" She asked. The urge to run her hand down his furry head was almost overwhelming, but she resisted. Things were just too weird now, with him actually being a real person. And Wooyoung was literally going to kill her if she put so much as a fingertip on San.

"I shouldn't have to," San said. He rubbed a paw over his face. "But no, not yet."

Aurora hummed, having already known the answer before she asked. "Again San, I'll ask. What are you doing here? What do you want?"

"You know why I'm here," San accused. "I want you to come back with me and save Hongjoong."

Aurora shook her head, throwing the sheets over San's tiny form and standing up from the bed. She stretched in place, not caring about her bare thighs or her head scarf. It was San that invaded her room without permission. "No can do. I'm not romancing someone that's already in a relationship. It's unethical. And it's weird that Seonghwa wants me to do it in the first place."

San growled and fought his way out of the covers, looking up at her with a sour face. "So putting a hex on someone is fine, but flirting is unethical?"

Aurora was reminded of Emery, how she wished him dead out of pure anger. She knew that it was wrong, and that she was going to be punished for it somehow. But to her, at the time, he had deserved it. Destroying a love as deep as Hongjoong and Seonghwa's, there was no excuse for that. They had done absolutely nothing to her.

It also might have been the fact that she knew, and I mean she really knew, that she had no chance in hell of winning over Hongjoong's heart. The man was simply impossible.

"Do you know what I have to do?" Aurora asked, walking towards her closet and shuffling through its contents, trying to find something to wear. Clearly the coven wasn't going to let her off the hook. "It's a hell of a lot more than flirting."

"I know that if you don't help him, he's going to die," San said with a chilling certainty.

Aurora paused at that, not knowing what to say. It's not that she didn't want to help Hongjoong. She still longed to see the man smile, to meet the badass witch of her dreams. But she felt so unworthy of attempting something like this, so unworthy of trying. How could she even dream of loving him? Better yet, how could she dream that he would love her back?

"Is there a way I can call you? I just need some time to think," Aurora decided.

San stood up from the bed suddenly. Aurora hadn't even noticed that he shifted into human form. He was much taller than her, looking down at her with a solemn expression. Aurora bravely stared back, waiting for him to speak.

He surprised her when he turned his head to the side and said, "Kiss my ear."

Aurora raised both eyebrows. "Huh?"

"Just do it," San demanded. "You said you wanted to learn magic."

She hesitated, but something inside of her just screamed to try it, to take the leap. So she leaned over and brushed her lips against his ear. San leaned back, satisfied. "A simple whispering spell. Now, I'll be able to hear anything you want to say to me. If you call me, I'll hear you."

"Really? That's so cool!" She exclaimed.

"I can teach you much more than this. I could help you make potions, learn the essential herbs. We could contact any dead relative that you wish to speak to. Anything you want, really," San proposed. "Just promise me that you'll really consider it. Hongjoong needs you."

She wanted to escape his imploring gaze that was convincing her by the second. Aurora knew that the coven was desperate, that they would do anything. She wasn't going to make them wait long. She just had to gather herself, and find the courage to do the impossible.

"I will," Aurora promised. Another promise that she wasn't sure how to keep.

Apparently, this was enough for him. Before she could say anything else, San walked right into her open closet. She stared after him. "San?"

But he had disappeared, vanishing between the rack of hanging clothes. Aurora stared into the empty dark space, her mind wandering.

...

"Did you convince her?" Seonghwa asked as soon as San crossed the threshold of the bookstore. He attempted to read San's facial expression, to find an inkling of hope in the man's blank frown.

San grinned at the question, waving away his concerns. It was an odd reaction, considering everything. "She's gonna do it."

"How can you be sure?" Seonghwa asked, trailing the man as he walked past the dimly-lit bookshelves and dispelled the illusion that hid their home from passersby. Pausing to turn and lock the front door with a flick of his hand, Seonghwa's long stride easily matched San's quick pace. He peered into the younger man's soul, awaiting an answer.

"She loves magic too much to refuse," San assured him. "Give it a day, and she'll be calling."

Seonghwa sighed. He just couldn't find it in himself to relax, despite San's optimism. From what he had seen of Aurora, she was strong-willed and hopeful, but also fragile and reckless. Although she might be determined to help, if something frightened her, or challenged her in a way that she couldn't handle, she was going to run. It had already happened once, thanks to Wooyoung's unacceptable attitude. And Hongjoong, Seonghwa couldn't even begin to deal with him. If anything would drive her away, it would be the intimidating members of his coven.

That left the job to more friendly members, like himself and San. Maybe Yunho if he could get the man to return from his trip to Atlantis, where he was busy finding a sea spell old and powerful enough to break Hongjoong's curse.

The rest of the coven was out of the question. Mingi was off in some far corner of the world, trying to pretend like everything was fine. Bringing him back right now would only increase the tension that everyone could feel, the faint strain on their magic due to the curse. Yeosang was busy searching every corner of every library and apothecary, hoping to find a way to save Hongjoong. Seonghwa didn't really want to interrupt him, because it was his way of staying busy and coping all at once.

Wooyoung occupied himself with scouring the cosmos for answers, reading the constellations in the hopes that it may give them some insight. The stars were much older than the sea, and the source of their magic, so Seonghwa left him to it, hoping for the best.

San was responsible for befriending Aurora, a position that he volunteered for. It was a fine distraction, and he honestly just liked being around her, away from it all. Any other time he was asking the spirits if they knew a way to break the spell, or if they knew any weaknesses of Azazel's that they could use. So far, there was nothing.

Seonghwa himself was busy threatening every lower-level demon he could find for information. Most of them echoed the same thing, that Azazel was unstoppable, that he was an all-powerful king of Hell, and that the coven was doomed to fail since they crossed him the first time. Seonghwa liked to throw holy water on the ones that were particularly nasty about it, the ones that laughed at the prospect of them facing off Azazel like it was the funniest thing in the world. It pissed him off to no end.

"I hope you're right," Seonghwa said. "Thank you for trying. It's up to her now."

San shook his head. "You don't need to thank me." He paused in his stride, turning to face Seonghwa in the middle of the hallway. It was sudden and confrontational, something that Seonghwa was unprepared for. "Aurora is my friend," San asserted, looking up at the older man pointedly.

"Of course-"

"I won't be a part of your plan. I like her, and I won't lie to her," San continued. "I know that you want to save Hongjoong, but please don't break her heart in the process."

Seonghwa was at a loss, feeling his stomach sink at the implication. San started up the grand staircase without another word, towards the room where he knew Wooyoung was waiting for him. He stared after the younger man, letting the weight of his accusation settle onto his shoulders. The weight somehow made him feel sick.

Seonghwa walked up the staircase after lingering for too long, thinking. He walked down the dark hall, and opened the door to his lover's stagnant room. "Hongjoong?"

The rumpled sheets did not stir. Seonghwa peered into the darkness, trying to make out the shape of Hongjoong's gray head of hair. He crept forward, his heart thumping for no apparent reason.

The reason became apparent, when he pulled the sheets back and stared at the empty space where Hongjoong was supposed to be.

...

Hongjoong liked walking through memories. It was his way of coping with the current reality, of dealing with the day to day. The memory he chose was an old one, when the coven were not yet witches but still young boys, playing their hand at being pirates. Hongjoong was born a witch, but the others weren't so lucky. They were rotting away in orphanages, on the streets, abandoned by their families for each a different reason. Yunho and Mingi came as a package, but the rest he found by traveling from city to city. He was looking for lost boys, ones that needed him. He hoped to assemble a family, to forge an unbreakable bond so that he would never have to face the reality of being alone again.

Seonghwa was not abandoned like the others. He was the son of a nobleman, highborn and well-fed. His life was easy, so easy it was boring. Hongjoong could see that the boy was bored, that he longed for adventure much like he once did.

Seonghwa approached him first. After he saved his life and filled him with magic, Hongjoong intended to abandon him. He was good at staying unseen, but Seonghwa was much too observant. He found the shadow witch before he could slip away, and practically begged to come with him; to join the crew.

Hongjoong shouldn't have let him come. He was trouble from the moment he stepped aboard the ship. His rich family caused quite a fuss looking for him. And Hongjoong soon realized why Seonghwa was so desperate to escape his home life. He was arranged to be married to a palace official's daughter; a woman that he was not in love with.

Seonghwa was too much like him, in love with the idea of adventure. He couldn't be bogged down by the formalities of the palace. So Hongjoong rescued him, putting a price on his own head in the process. He became the feared Pirate King, the ruthless man that ransacked the houses of noblemen. If only they knew he was so much more than that.

Giving the crew magic took a lot out of him. Giving humans immortality was no easy feat. It took the help of many witches, and a few demons, to accomplish what he wanted. Well, not really their help. Just their blood, and their souls.

He knew it was wrong. But Hongjoong was never a good witch. He lived in darkness, in shadows, and preyed on the weaklings he came across. It was simply his way of life. And Hongjoong would do anything for his boys. Anything to see them live, to see them thrive. And he knew that Seonghwa was really going to love magic.

The blood of his victims was the base of the spell, and their souls were the potion. He never told his boys what it was they were drinking, just told them to drink it entirely. And one by one, the spark of magic touched them, filled them with life. They never aged, and they grew more powerful by the day. Never again would someone manipulate or hurt them. They were more than able to protect themselves.

The blood magic took a toll on Hongjoong. It was the type of thing that wore on a person's soul, and seven deaths on a person's conscience- that was the kind of thing that attracted demons like no other. Demons loved the smell of blood, the smell of death on a person's hands. Hongjoong had a lot of death on his, and Azazel was a slave to his cravings.

Hongjoong figured it was simply his karma. He never should have taken the lives of helpless witches or friendly demons. But he never expected Azazel to punish the entire coven along with him, to use the blood magic as a weakness, a way to torture his boys. It was something he should have seen coming.

He paid the ultimate price for crossing paths with a king of hell. And for his many sins, he was finally going to die. In some ways, it was a relief.

Hongjoong watched the girl from the shadows, curious about why Seonghwa had brought her to him in the first place. And then San had told him, waltzing in to her bedroom like he lived there, and persuading her to try her luck at winning his heart. Hongjoong nearly laughed at the prospect. Who would want a heart as black as his?

The girl was lost, much like his boys were so long ago. She wanted magic just like they had; he could feel it. But he was no longer in a position to give it to her; to help anyone but himself. Hongjoong still had some powers lingering inside of him, but none strong enough to shed the skin he was trapped in; the skin that was killing him.

There was a link to her. Hongjoong couldn't figure it out, but the link was there. For some reason, he could feel her. And she could see into his past, much more than any human should be able to. She truly was a human with the heart of a witch.

Hongjoong settled into the corner of her room, content to watch her decide. He was more curious than anything. It was impossible, and she knew it too. But since he was bored, and she had sparked his interest, he kept watching.

Aurora turned towards him, like she could sense him sitting there. It was like she was staring right at him, unknowingly. He struggled to stay silent.

She turned away at the call of her grandmother, bounding out of her room with a youthful energy he couldn't even fathom. It was at that point that Hongjoong noticed the spirit in the room, trying to manifest himself into a physical presence. He narrowed his eyes at the young ghost, wondering who had the audacity to haunt such an innocent girl. The spirit was still struggling to manifest, as it was fairly new and had no focus. Hongjoong stood slowly, approaching him.

"Leave this place," Hongjoong said. He hated the raspy tone of his voice, the lack of bass in it.

The spirit seemed to consider his order, but ultimately decided to ignore Hongjoong. The witch wanted to laugh, but really it wasn't funny at all.

Hongjoong took hold of the spirit with one hand, capturing its essence with his bare fingers. "I told you to leave."

The ghost struggled, wanting to linger in her room. His aura glowed red with anger, with vengeance, and then Hongjoong understood. He wasn't just any spirit, but a vengeful one. Getting rid of him was not going to be a simple task.

Still, with his lingering powers and his boredom, it was a task that Hongjoong was up for. The last thing Seonghwa needed was another thing on his plate, when all his attention was on the lost cause of saving Hongjoong. He could do this much for his lover at least. And for the girl caught in the middle of it all.

"Come with me, now," Hongjoong hissed. And he clenched the spirit's aura in his fist until it howled. He could hear the girl returning to the room, looking for something. He dragged the ghost into the shadows, and away from Aurora for the time being.

...

Aurora felt a chill go down her spine, and she didn't know why. Her room felt strange- like it wasn't hers, and she felt the desperate urge to leave. Luckily her grandmother called her and she had the excuse to fly out of the room like a bat out of hell.

"Yeah?" She asked her grandma, who was clearly unsatisfied with her empty kitchen. She analyzed the sparse shelves of her fridge, sighing.

"We need to go to the grocery store. We can't survive off of delivery for much longer," Grandma said. Aurora jumped at the chance to leave the house, where she suddenly felt unsafe for the first time in her life.

"Okay, let me get my shoes," Aurora said. She slowly walked through the hall, hovering outside of the doorway. The dark feeling that had been there, so full of anger and resentment, was gone. She had felt it suddenly, the feeling that someone hated her guts, and wanted her dead. She wasn't sure how or why or who, but she didn't care. As long as it was gone.

She calmly slipped on her sneakers, and grabbed her jacket and purse. She stared into the empty room, at the corner where she could have sworn she saw a pair of eyes in the dark. Aurora knew it was probably the result of watching one too many horror movies, or maybe it was a lingering spirit from her walk through the ghost world with San. Either way, it had frightened her. Magic was a lot more frightening than she could have imagined.

"Come on, Aurora," her grandmother called from the front door. Aurora rushed out of the room with a full body shiver, dreading having to sleep in her bedroom at night.

She followed her grandma out the door, trying to calm her worries and think through the offer that San made to her. Learning magic was her lifelong dream, but was she willing to through away her dignity and risk her life to get it? It was no ordinary curse that plagued Hongjoong. He had angered a powerful demon, and if she got involved, she was likely to do the same.

Still, she couldn't help but feel for the witch even though she barely knew him. Hongjoong risked everything to save his coven, only to mark himself for death as a result. He cared for the witches so much that he threw away his life, and now they were doing everything they could to save him. How could Aurora do nothing when she was the key to saving his life? She might've been a killer, but she wasn't heartless.

Aurora's mind wandered as she roamed the aisles of the grocery store, picking up ingredients to make pasta. Her grandmother was right- they couldn't live off of DoorDash any longer. Her grandmother was busy touring the garden section for new pots, so she parted ways with her to make her way around the store. Aurora was trying to decide between making spaghetti and alfredo when a chill went up her spine, like someone's ghostly fingers were running along her back, up and down, up and down. She rotated her head, trying to shake the horrible feeling of cold fingertips on the back of her neck.

"You bitch," a faint voice suddenly whispered into her ear. "I'll kill you."

Aurora dropped the jar of spaghetti sauce she was holding, and the glass shattered across the tiled floor. Store-goers stared at her, watching her hands shake mid-air as tears welled in her eyes. Aurora whimpered, realizing all at once who the ghostly presence was that was following her around. She never thought that he would haunt her, or that he would know to hold her responsible for his death. It wasn't as if Aurora took a knife to Emery, but somehow the boy knew that she was the cause of his pain, and that was all that mattered.

Aurora wasn't equipped to handle a vengeful ghost on her own. She had no choice but to ask the coven for help. And if she asked them for help, they would expect her help with Hongjoong in return.

A store worker came to assess the damages in the aisle. Aurora greeted them with a shaky smile, promising to pay for the broken spaghetti sauce. Then she went to find her grandmother, to tell her to finish shopping without her. She had somewhere to be.

...

San came quickly at Aurora's call, almost like he had been waiting for it. He grinned at her, going in for a hug before he took in her sullen expression. His smile dropped, worry overtaking him in a split-second. "What happened? What's wrong?"

Aurora couldn't help but to cry at his concerned tone, sobs raking her body. He was going to find out how evil she was, how horrible of a person. If he though placing a hex on someone was bad, what would he think when she told him the truth? San would be disgusted at the sight of her.

She couldn't find the words. All she could do was cry because Emery's ghost was going to haunt her indefinitely. She cried even more because she knew that she deserved it. Wishing harm on someone for any reason made her a bad person, and even though there was no direct evidence linking her to Emery's murder, Aurora knew in her soul that she was the one who killed him.She knew Emery's personality; how angry he could get. He was going to haunt her until she died herself. He practically said as much in the store.

"Aurora, I need you to tell me what happened," Seonghwa said. She didn't even know when he had gotten there. Aurora called San to pick her up outside of the store, and now she was making a scene in the parking lot. People gawked at her as they walked in with their kids in hand, avoiding her like the plague. San must have called Seonghwa when she wouldn't answer him, because he knew that the man could get through to her. His comforting presence momentarily distracted her from worrying, as he gripped her shoulders lightly and turned her towards him.

"Emery," was all she could get out, before more tears escaped her eyes. Aurora was never much of a crybaby, but the thought of getting haunted by a ghost that she murdered was enough to make her inconsolable.

"Who the hell is Emery?" San demanded, as if he was going to bring him back to life and kill him all over again for making Aurora cry. Aurora managed to smile at him, though the tears made it look more like a grimace.

"Aurora," Seonghwa called, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "If you don't tell me, then I'm gonna have to pull it out of you."

She wondered what exactly he meant by that. Seonghwa didn't give her long to ponder over it, as he reached over and cupped her cheek with his large, warm hand. Aurora closed her eyes at the sensation, her cheeks warming under his touch. He rubbed the skin with delicate fingers, smoothing away her tears. Seonghwa truly had a talent for comforting people, because Aurora was already feeling better.

She opened her eyes to look at Seonghwa, peering at him through wet lashes. His gaze was not nearly as soft as his touch. The look in his eyes was so intense that he almost looked angry, and if he hadn't been smoothing over her round cheeks, she would think that he was. She wondered why he was looking at her so intently, and then she felt a tugging sensation at the corner of her mind.

"I want you to show me this person named Emery. Can you do that for me?" Seonghwa asked. He sounded out of breath, as if the effort of prying into her mind was taking the wind out of him.

Aurora felt Seonghwa prodding at her memories, prompting her to reveal everything about Emery. She was reluctant to show him what happened, to show him the source of shame that made her burst into tears. But she knew that Seonghwa would find out about her crime one way or another. There was no way she could hide such a huge secret from him.

"I'll show you," Aurora agreed, her heart thundering. Even the thought of him seeing what she did filled her with dread. What choice did she have, really? She couldn't hide her true nature any longer.

Seonghwa smiled, pleased to have her permission. He closed his eyes, feeling for the person named Emery that haunted Aurora's thoughts. As Seonghwa focused on searching her mind, San whisked them into the spirit world and away from curious onlookers.

...

Hongjoong cursed, having lost his grip on that God forsaken Emery Watson. He was a slippery spirit, the kind of ghost that no one could pin down for long. It was just his luck to have a nasty poltergeist on his hands when he didn't have the strength to ring its neck. And Emery was the worst of all, because not only was he angry, but he was also entitled. He believed that his life was robbed from him, which it technically was, but he also believed that he did nothing wrong in the first place. And Hongjoong knew for a fact that he had wronged Aurora, because he had seen it in his dreams. While lying around in his bedroom, breathing in the darkness, Hongjoong dreamed of Aurora. He dreamed of her at school, kissing an undeserving boy named Emery Watson. He watched as he touched her, coaxed her into submission and made her vulnerable for him. Then he saw the stupid boy discard her like she was nothing, and slut-shame her in front of everyone. Hongjoong writhed in bed with clenched fists, wanting to dig his overgrown nails into Emery's eye sockets.

And then he saw the way Aurora roasted him alive with nothing more than a look, and suddenly he felt intrigued. Her dark gaze was deadly, but also strangely beautiful. Hongjoong was surprised that such a cheerful-looking human had fire within her, enough to sear her enemies without so much as a spell. She made the boy turn and run without uttering a word, something that only the most powerful of witches could accomplish. Aurora was more than a human with the heart of a witch. She was a human with the potential to be the most powerful witch that ever lived. More powerful than him, even.

But now, that stupid ghost was going after her. He had already slipped away from the prison Hongjoong made for him in the spirit world. He had slithered back to Aurora like a little snake, and whispered threats into her ears that made her cry. Hongjoong seethed with the audacity of this boy, who somehow believed that he could intimidate a witch. Lingering spirits like him were usually hunted down by reapers, but Hongjoong couldn't wait for one to show itself. He had to get rid of Emery before he hurt Aurora.

Hongjoong snatched the boy up when his lips brushed Aurora's ear, tugging him along by the hair at the crown of his head. Emery looked much like he had in life; he had pale skin and curly hair that extended past his ears. It was perfect for Hongjoong's fingers to latch onto, yanking at the strands so hard that the boy screeched. He dragged him all the way from the grocery store in town, back to the prison he crafted out of shadow and bone. He actually used Emery's own body to make the cage, stretching his ribs out to make the bars, and fashioning his phalanges into chains. The shadows held the bones together so they wouldn't rattle too much, and the essence of the boy's flesh kept his spirit bound.

So how Emery escaped from the cage the first time, Hongjoong wasn't sure. He stared at the boy, watching as he groaned in pain from the skeletal hands latched onto his ankles. The hands rose out from the ground, keeping him firmly tied to the spiritual plane. Shadowy tendrils clenched around his wrists like handcuffs, keeping him from banging against the bars of the cage. Emery's head lolled as he moaned, coming to and glaring at his captor.

"Let me go, you bitch!" Emery spat. His face was a frightening mask of white, with dark pits for eyes and bared teeth. The anger made him scarier, causing his form to glow bright like an overheated lamp. Hongjoong couldn't care less how much energy Emery used. If he used too much of it, his soul would simply evaporate like fog in the autumn air. With Hongjoong's current appearance, it was no wonder that Emery used such a foul term. The withering skin of this form was deceiving, because underneath, Hongjoong was alight with furious energy. He felt more alive than he had in weeks, wondering how he was going to torture this evil spirit. Should he send him straight to hell, or play with him a little?

"Hyung?"

Hongjoong turned to see San making his way toward him, followed by Seonghwa and Aurora. San was guiding the both of them, as Seonghwa held Aurora in his arms and focused on finding out the truth. Hongjoong recognized the stance, understanding at once that Seonghwa was looking into her mind.

"San," Hongjoong greeted. "I was just handling this vengeful spirit named Emery."

At the sound of the boy's name, Aurora opened her eyes and broke the psychic connection. Seonghwa came to a second later, releasing her in favor of holding his forehead. Hongjoong knew that forming a psychic bond took a lot out of a witch, especially when it was not their specialty. He wondered what must have happened for Seonghwa to use such a taxing method of getting information.

Aurora took an unbalanced step forward, teetering on her feet like a newborn baby. The psychic bond took a lot out of her too, but she seemed to be recovering quickly, at least enough to recognized the ghost imprisoned before her eyes. "Emery?"

Emery looked up at the sound of her voice, yanking at the chains on his hands and feet. "You!"

She flinched back with wide eyes, horrified of the skeletal cage that he was trapped in. "What the hell is this? Why are you stuck here?"

"You're the one that killed me," Emery accused, his voice a horrible garble. It was like he was still choking up blood and trying to speak despite all. His form glowed even brighter, so bright that Aurora had to avert her eyes.

Hongjoong stepped in between Aurora and Emery, blocking her gaze. He glared at the spirit and his chains tightened to the point of pain. Then Hongjoong turned to face Aurora, trying not to panic at the fact that she interrupted his torturing session. "I found him lingering around your house, and again at the store. I brought him back to the spirit world and chained him up here."

Aurora looked Hongjoong up and down, confused at how he captured a ghost in his condition. "You were in my house?" She asked.

That was a valid question. Hongjoong panicked even more, blood leaving his face as he scrambled to find a suitable excuse for watching Aurora from the shadows. "I wanted to ask for your help. Personally." It was about the farthest from the actual truth that Hongjoong could get, but telling the girl that he followed her home because she intrigued him would not go over well.

"You want my help?" Aurora echoed, tilting her head to the side. "But you told me that I couldn't break the curse."

"I was wrong," Hongjoong admitted, because he was. He underestimated Aurora. He had no idea how powerful she was when he said that. He didn't know her strength of spirit, or her ability to kill someone with a look. If Hongjoong really admitted it to himself, he was mildly attracted to her. In a way, she was almost as fucked up as he was.

"Hongjoong," Seonghwa said, stepping forward with a pointed gaze. "What are you planning on doing with him?"

Just like always, Seonghwa could see through his pretense, straight to the darkness of his heart. Without Hongjoong saying a word, Seonghwa already knew what he intended and why he was keeping it a secret. Hongjoong had always loved him for that, because Seonghwa knew him better than anyone. However, at times like this, where he was practicing dark magic that no righteous person should see, he wished Seonghwa did not have such insight.

Because he knew that Seonghwa knew, Hongjoong sighed and came clean. "I was gonna torture him a bit. It's been a while since I've seen such a sleazy soul."

San didn't look very surprised to hear of Hongjoong's dark intent, but Aurora was taken aback. When she pictured the badass witch that put his life on the line for his boys, she never imagined that he would do something like this. Instead of being disgusted by his sinister nature, Aurora felt intrigued. Where San had shied away from cursing others, Hongjoong seemed the type to relish in doing so. While Seonghwa fussed Hongjoong out for his immorality, San worked on freeing Emery from his dark chains. The hedge witch was practiced with unruly spirits and could hold Emery with his power alone; no bondage necessary.

However, Emery was more vengeful than San anticipated. As soon as the ghost was free of his bony chains, he tackled Aurora. He flew past San and flung himself at her with such vengeance that no one could have prevented it. He slammed her into the ground and hissed at her like a wild animal, baring his teeth at her with black pits for eyes. Because of his relentless anger, Emery had begun the transformation into a depraved spirit. He looked more inhuman than before, more like a typical ghost in a horror movie.

Aurora didn't have a moment to brace herself before Emery was choking the life out of her lungs. Like this, he looked a bit like a flickering candle, burning red hot with anger and bloodlust. She contemplated life with what little consciousness she had left. Perhaps dying like this was what she deserved for killing him so easily. If that was the case, then she would submit to the cruel whims of fate.

Emery was yanked off her suddenly with the force of a typhoon and slammed into the ground. Seonghwa raised his arm, lifting the boy into the air and choking him out single-handedly. He looked at Aurora with concern. "Are you alright?" He asked, to which she nodded.

San hovered above her, checking the condition of her neck. She could tell it would bruise, but she felt like a little choking was the least of what she deserved to be honest. San frowned, letting his fingers brush the tender skin. Suddenly his hands glowed blue like cold stars, and she felt a chilling sensation wash over her like a cool shower. She shivered at the feeling at first, but then the pain ebbed, and her neck felt as good as new again.

"You're gonna be okay," San assured her with a smile. He cradled her head in his lap, blocking her view of what Seonghwa and Hongjoong were currently doing with Emery. Whatever it was couldn't be good.

...

Seonghwa held the boy up in the air, suspended by an invisible force. Emery flung himself around, shaking his legs and clawing the invisible hands on his neck desperately. Hongjoong looked on proudly, letting a devilish smile overtake him. Watching his lover fly off the handle always got him going.

"How dare you touch her," Seonghwa said, his voice thinned with anger. "I was thinking about helping you move on, and you do this? You really think you're innocent?"

The hands around Emery's neck squeezed and squeezed, and his aura became blue with the closeness of second death. Ghosts could actually die multiple times, if a powerful enough witch or demon took it upon themselves to try. That was how souls lingered in Hell for so long, getting tortured by kings of Hell like Azazel. It was how Hongjoong spent decades serving the demon, bringing him souls to wash in day by day.

"Darling," Hongjoong called, when it looked like Emery was near the end. "Maybe we should leave him to San? I was going to torture him a bit, but killing him twice might be excessive."

Seonghwa took Hongjoong's opinion into consideration silently, still grasping the spirit's neck. After a few moments, he released the Emery and let him drop to the ground. "Maybe you're right."

So it was decided that San would appease Emery and walk him through his cherished memories, as he did with every ghost that lingered in the human world. That way, he could feel connected to his life, and not be caught up in the circumstances of his death. Ghosts had a tendency to focus on the negativity and pain, rather than the good parts of their human existence. It was San's specialty to ease that pain and help them find happiness again, so that they could cross over.

Emery seemed unwilling at first, but with a searing look from Hongjoong and a threatening raise of Seonghwa's hand, he became a lot more cooperative. San assured them that he could handle the bratty spirit, and that he would be back in time for dinner. Hongjoong opened a portal to the manor with what little strength he had left, and the three of them walked out of the darkness together.

As soon as they crossed the house's threshold, Seonghwa steered Hongjoong into the nearest bathroom to check him for injuries. Though Hongjoong felt like his old, all-powerful self, he was still in the body of an elderly woman. Surely torturing vengeful spirits was not good for his joints.

"We'll only be a second, Aurora," Seonghwa said. "There should be plenty of leftover food in the fridge, if you want to help yourself."

Aurora nodded, still kind of in shock from it all. She wandered off in the direction of the kitchen, faintly remembering the way from her first time in the mansion. She passed the stairwell to upstairs, where the portrait of Hongjoong in all his red-haired glory hung like a centerpiece in a museum. She lingered, staring at the powerful witch that exhausted himself to save her from a vengeful spirit. Even in his current state, he was putting his life on the line for others. How could she not help someone that generous?

When Aurora walked into the kitchen, an unfamiliar man stood chopping up vegetables and sliding them into a sizzling pan. He had round cheeks and intense, dark eyes that zeroed in on the vegetables with precision. He wore a tight-fitting black sweater and jeans, with silver chains hanging from the pockets that jingled when he moved. His black hair fell over his forehead and covered his eyes as he leaned over the cutting board. If not for his pouted lips and puffed cheeks, she would have been fully intimidated by the witch.

He honestly looked like the lead singer of a rock band to Aurora. She stood, bewitched by his presence for a few seconds until the sharp voice of Wooyoung broke her out of the enchantment. "You look like a wreck," he said unkindly, stalking past her and into the kitchen like he owned he place.He slid onto one of the counter bar stools and tapped the table in front of the mysterious chef. "Jongho, are you getting high again?" Wooyoung asked, trying to catch the witch's attention. Jongho finally looked up, blinking at the new presence in front of him. He did look kind of high, but not so much that he didn't notice Aurora standing in the kitchen doorway and shuffling her feet together awkwardly. He smiled brightly, beckoning her inside.

"Come on in, I was just making dinner," he invited. Aurora listened, walking closer to the kitchen island and standing next to Wooyoung. "And to answer your rude ass question Woo, no I wasn't getting high."  

"I'm older than you, brat," Wooyoung scolded. He slid a hand through his lavender locks, looking at Aurora again. She was struck again by his beauty, the sharpness of his jaw and the cool, directness of his gaze. "You really do look wrecked. Did something happen?"

Aurora figured that this was Wooyoung's round-about way of showing concern, and answered, "There was a vengeful ghost situation, but I'm okay. San is handling it."

Wooyoung frowned at the mention of San's name. "What happened?" He asked again, this time with intensity. "Where is he?"

She sat down on a bar stool and started recounting the day's events, starting from the encounter in the store with her grandmother to leaving San in the spirit world with Emery. Wooyoung didn't bite her head off when she told him, so it was safe to assume he didn't blame her for endangering his boyfriend. She knew that he was the possessive type, but for once he seemed chill about the situation.

"Should we give San some backup? I know Seonghwa's busy with Hongjoong, but maybe we could pop into the spirit world and check on him before dinner. Walking through memories is kind of taxing, especially with that kind of spirit," Jongho suggested.

"San can handle an angry ghost," Wooyoung assured, waving off his concern. "He'll be offended if we interrupt him now."

Aurora found his trust in San to be admirable, and couldn't keep herself from saying so. "You're such a supportive boyfriend," she complimented.

Wooyoung turned to her with furrowed brows, and for a second she worried that she'd offended him. But then he relaxed, not quite smiling but at least looking slightly less guarded. "Of course, we've been together for ages."

"They really have," Jongho agreed. "Almost as long as Hongjoong and Seonghwa."  

Aurora saw the opportunity and couldn't help herself. "How did those two meet, by the way?" She was infinitely curious about their relationship, and about Hongjoong's past in particular. She wanted to know everything about him, from his first encounter with magic to his darkest secrets.

"I can tell you," Hongjoong piped up behind her. She turned in her seat to see Hongjoong standing in the kitchen doorway with Seonghwa close behind. Seonghwa's eyes lingered on Hongjoong  as if he would suddenly collapse, and it reminded her of the way parents watched their newborn babies like hawks. If Wooyoung was a possessive kind of lover, than Seonghwa was the attentive type. She wondered what kind of lover Hongjoong might be.

"I'd like that," Aurora said, smiling at Hongjoong. She decided right then and there, if he wanted her help, she was more than willing to give it. She was far too invested in this coven to back out now anyway.

...

San led the surly ghost through his childhood, trying not to sigh. He had dealt with all kinds of nasty ghosts, from abusive spouses to murderers, but it was the first time in a while that he couldn't care less about the spirit he was escorting.

It was wrong of him, he knew. Letting personal feelings mix into his duties as a medium was almost criminal, because ghosts depended on him to pass on. Usually, he could set aside his feelings in favor of helping others, but his heart just wasn't in it this time. San knew that it had to do with Aurora. He was much more attached to her than he intended to be, and now it was affecting his work. He glared into the back of the boy's head as they walked through the memories of his many sexual conquests, all soon discarded after. San supposed he should feel sorrier for the boy, given his neglectful childhood that fed into his commitment issues.

Emery's mother never gave him the time of day, always staying late at work and going out on the weekends. His father died when he was young from unexpected heart failure, leaving a dysfunctional family in his wake. It was really Emery's uncles that raised him, taking him in when it was clear that his mother couldn't be bothered. Emery took that rejection to heart, and never trusted another woman again.

That led them to college, where Emery was fucking women left and right, and then throwing them away like used condoms. Aurora was one of the many he used, but it was slightly different. San could see that the boy actually did care for her at first, that he did enjoy laughing with her and making her laugh in turn. However, when Aurora slipped up one time after they finished fucking and said that she loved him, Emery short-circuited.

Emery didn't have any women in his life that loved him. He didn't know how to handle affection from anyone but his uncles, who raised him with as much care and joy as they could, and his friends who let him sleepover often when his mother was absent. So when Aurora said the L-word to him, it was like a huge red flag in his mind. He had to get as far away from her as possible, before she could abandon him the way his mother had.

So that brought San and Emery to that time in the cafeteria, when Emery told everyone about their sexual exploits. San watched as Aurora glared at Emery like she would kill him on the spot if only she could. And he knew that somehow, through some mysterious force in Aurora's body, she had done exactly that. She had killed Emery with a single glare like the witches of old that could raise hellfire. San knew it was wrong, that Aurora was wrong for letting her anger get the best of her. But he couldn't bring himself to hate her for it. If it was him, and his first-time lover had humiliated him and threw him away like it was nothing, he might have done something unholy as well. For as good of a witch San was, he always had that one part of him that wanted to indulge in dark magic.

His brothers were the same. All of them had a little taste for the dark arts, a little bit of the shadows within them. None of them told Hongjoong, but the methods that he used to obtain their magic stained them in ways he could not fully comprehend. Seonghwa leaned towards summoning demons rather than deities, while his own boyfriend dabbled in tangling up people's lives for fun, rather than helping them find clarity within the chaos.

San sometimes felt an urge to hurt the spirits that he helped, especially when they were douchebags like Emery. His fingers itched to call forth the reapers of purgatory, to have the boy suffer for all the hearts he had broken and discarded. But the hedge witch took a deep breath and stopped himself. Although he personally disliked Emery, the boy was not deserving of such a fate. He was a shameless fuckboy, but that was about it. Other spirits had done far worse and been redeemed.

When they reached the end of Emery's memories, where he collapsed onto his dorm room bed and boiled from the inside out, their surroundings became the darkness of the spirit world again, and Emery looked a lot calmer. With a promise from San to give his friends his sports equipment, and to hide the stash of panties beneath his bed from his uncles, Emery crossed into the spiritual plane of light and San's part was over.

He did deposit the sports equipment at the houses of his friends, but he left the panties alone. The ghost could suffer at least that much humiliation for what he did to Aurora.

By the time San came home, he was too exhausted for dinner. He slumped onto the bed fully-clothed, pressing his face into the cool sheets. San wished that Wooyoung would come and leap onto his back, that he would hold him until he fell asleep. But the chaos witch was mad at him, and they hadn't slept in the same room for days. He knew it was too much to ask.

He must have drifted off to sleep, because when he came to, there was a familiar weight on his back; the very one he had wished for. Wooyoung nuzzled into the nape of San's neck, inhaling his sweet scent. San looked over his shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of his suddenly clingy boyfriend.

"Woo," San greeted, boneless and warm all over. "I missed you."

Wooyoung hummed, pressing kisses into San's neck. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Will you stay this time?" He asked the chaos witch, wondering if he would wander off into the night like he often did to practice magic. Some of the most chaotic things in life happened at night after all.

Wooyoung unglued himself from San's back, trying to get more comfortable. He landed on the side of the bed closest to the wall, the side where it would be impossible to escape without waking up San. "I'm not going anywhere." He rubbed a comforting hand across San's back, lulling him back to sleep.

San settled onto his arms with a smile, falling asleep to the gentle rhythm of his boyfriend's humming.

#ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez fanfic #ateez witch au #seonghwa #hongjoong #san #wooyoung #jongho #yeosang #yunho #mingi #ateez x oc #seonghwa x oc #hongjoong x oc #seonghwa smut #hongjoong smut #ateez smut #ateez masterlist

[binnie-bitch]

Milkyway of Love

(Based on ‘Woman Like Me’ by @simpracha - read their fic first before touching this)

Ateez Fanfiction Relationships: Hongjoong/Jameela(OC)/Seonghwa Word Count: 997 Tags: Mild Angst, Talking about Feelings Summary: Hongjoong and Seonghwa talk after Jameela leaves. A/N: Seriously, read ‘Woman Like Me’ before looking at this. This is just a little fanfiction for a fanfiction, like it doesn’t make much sense without the context of WLM. Plus WLM is amazing. Anyone who didn’t read it, is missing out. This is an early birthday gift for you @simpracha <3 It’s not much, but inspiration hit me. When I finish my other fic, I’ll eventually write more, cause I have more thoughts. --------------------------------------------------------------

Jameela came into Hongjoong’s life like he was a star colliding with a planet. She drew him into her gravitational pull and he bursted on impact into a million pieces. Against her winds trying to scatter his remains back into the atmosphere, he clung to her beautiful surface of fresh grass and colorful flowers. Every touch from her delicate hands broke him down further until he was nothing but dust on a molecule level. Desperate to not lose his footing, Hongjoong dug into the earth, fingers clinging to her smooth skin, planting himself into her flesh down to her bone. She let him. Then she didn’t. One moment she watered him with feather kisses and love confessions, then she ripped at his roots. Hongjoong clung to her every being with the promise to bloom into the most beautiful flower to ever decorate her land. He couldn’t risk flying back out into space, lost among the cold void, alone until the death of the universe. Jameela was perfect and Hongjoong could barely breathe in her presence. Yet, she was the air filling his lungs. He never quite understood what he was to her, if she needed him like he needed her, if his roots even reached her core. Whatever he meant to her, Jameela left. She ripped him from her earth, and he floated away, away, away. All he could do was watch as she grew smaller and smaller, a million light years apart. And as if going through a thousand year evolution in the span of a month wasn’t enough, Seonghwa dragged him into a black hole of feelings he hadn’t dared to explore since he realized them. Another confession of love that complicated this already expanding milkyway of problems. Hongjoong had to make a decision. The idea of running after Jameela was tempting, his heart aching for a better ending than her tear stained face and frustration, but that last bit of sanity still not succumbed to his obsession had him text Seonghwa that they needed to talk. Jameela was a piece of his heart, but so was Seonghwa. Jameela needed space anyway and Hongjoong couldn’t risk losing his best friends, his closest confidant for years. His own feelings had to come second. Whatever they were, he had to figure them out later. The door beeped and slipped open. Hongjoong kept forgetting that Seonghwa had the code. He paused the track on his computer, his distraction while he waited, keeping both his mind and heart busy. But the moment his eyes met Seonghwa’s, it all came crashing down again. Hongjoong swallowed. Dropping his gaze, he vaguely gestured towards the sofa. Hesitant steps filled the room. Seonghwa’s boots came into view, clean and way too many buckles that didn’t even do anything. “Hongjoong-ah-” “No.” Hongjoong looked up. Seonghwa ducked his head between his shoulders, slim fingers clinging to his pants. He was shaking. A blotchy flush decorated his cheeks, too close to the pattern on Jameela. At the right angles, damp spots glistened against the cheap light of the single lamp standing on top of the desk. Hongjoong took a deep breath. “You fucked up,” he said. Seonghwa flinched, sinking deeper into himself. “I know.” “I don’t hate you, Hwa, but-” Hongjoong shook his head, throat tight against too much that he should have said a long time ago. But if he had, would that have changed what Jameela did to him? Would it have saved them both from her intoxicating laugh and bright eyes that seemed to hold the universe? “Joongie,” Seonghwa said, voice cracking at the edges, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Not only that I ruined your relationship with Jameela, but ours as well. I shouldn’t…I shouldn’t have. I was selfish.” “Yes, but I was too.” Seonghwa perked up with wide eyes. “What?” “I mean that I wanted Jameela for myself without once considering what it means for her. I just wanted her. We both fucked up with her.” “Hongjoong…” “And we both fucked up with each other. I can’t…” Hongjoong pressed his lips thin, eyes darting all over the room as if the bare walls and overflowing trash can held the answers. “I can’t give you what you want. Not now. I don’t even know if I ever can.” “I don’t expect you to,” Seonghwa insisted. “I know, but it’s unfair if I don’t even consider it. Whatever will happen with Jameela, if I lose her forever or not-” Hongjoong reached out and took Seonghwa’s hand, warm palm so familiar. “-I want you to be by my side. I need you by my side. As my friend, as…something else. I have to figure out what I want, and I’m probably being selfish again, but whatever I decide on, don’t distance yourself from me.” Seonghwa’s eyes grew with every word. His hand twitched where it was held, body visibly shuddering at the distress breaking Hongjoong’s voice. He blinked and a tear slipped from the corner of his eye. Hongjoong couldn’t stop himself from wiping it away with his thumb. Seonghwa tensed up at the contact, but inevitably leaned into his hand that Hongjoong couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Because everything about them was inevitable. Whatever this was between him and Seonghwa, between him and Jameela, between Seonghwa and Jameela. They could have never avoided it. Hongjoong was a fool swallowing his feelings for his friend, denying himself to just be. He still couldn’t bring himself to let go. Not without closure with Jameela, and Hongjoong was sure Seonghwa thought the same. Whatever was going to happen, he had no one else to blame but himself. He crashed into Jameela, already bruised from Seonghwa doing the same to him. But just as the universe stretched endless with billions of stars, so did Hongjoong’s love for the most important people in his life, and he wasn’t going to give up on them if he still had the energy to hold them both close.

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #hongjoong fanfiction #hongjoong #seonghwa fanfiction #seonghwa #ateez oc fanfiction #oc fanfiction #woman like me by doe #hongjoong x oc #seonghwa x oc #seongjoong

[sunmoonjune]

spring tides [like the moon universe]

pairing: poly!ot8 ateez x fem!oc!reader

warnings: vague mentions of eating disorder, death and torture, scars, ptsd, very fluffy! a lot of comfort! not so dark this time xD I did not proofread this :D

word count: 14.1k

a/n: hello y'all :D I have returned with some LTM for you <;3 This is a oneshot for my like the moon universe! You don't necessarily need to read the series to understand this fic but it definitely helps the immersion and understanding some of the plot points! you can find all chapters of ltm on my masterlist <3

Seonghwa remembers something in the spring of your third year with Ateez. As he watches you at Jongho’s side, silently offering the guard slices of fruit as he cleans his claymore, Seonghwa recalls that he doesn’t know when your birthday is. 

Jongho is murmuring something about the design of his blade and the engraving along the handle when Seonghwa stands abruptly. The eldest shifts on his feet, brows furrowed and teeth worrying his bottom lip. His lips purse when Jongho questions him. 

“Hwa?” 

The red-haired guard looks up at his partner with a lilt of concern in his voice, hands halting their motion on his blade. Jongho’s dark eyes glint as the fading sun catches the hickory color of his irises. 

“Is there something wrong?” Jongho continues, already shifting to stand to his feet. “Are you alright?”

You rock on your feet, legs stretching as you prepare to stand with Jongho. Your eyes flicker across camp, scanning for whatever has caught Seonghwa’s attention. There’s two swords still strapped to your back and you can nearly feel the cool metal pressing into your skin – a haunting reminder of the terrible things you’ve done with them. The buzz beneath your skin itches with the beginnings of adrenaline, already prepared to stand and defend the two Ateez members at your sides.

Seonghwa lifts his hands and shakes his head to soothe you and Jongho before you can stand. He softly waves his hands to encourage you to sit back onto the carved log beneath you, a wary smile on his lips. 

“No, it’s nothing,” he murmurs, still gnawing at his lip as he finishes. He offers a barely concealed sigh and shakes his head again. “‘M alright, just remembered something.” 

Jongho doesn’t seem satisfied with the answer, but he settles back onto the floor regardless. His hands return to wiping down his claymore but he doesn’t look away from his partner. 

You share the sentiment, continuing to watch Seonghwa and making note of each creak and scratch that echoes through the camp. You don’t know what startled him, but you’ll be prepared for the next time. The fruit in your hands has made your fingers sticky in the brief moments you spent looking up at Seonghwa rather than cutting the supple treat. 

You don’t mind though. You like slicing fruit for Jongho.  He doesn’t eat enough, you’ve noticed. You’re not quite sure why, but you suppose you don’t quite know how to ask. No matter the reason, it brings you comfort when he continues to take slices of succulent fruit from you as he cleans. He doesn’t look up, simply trusting you to place the pieces into his hands so he can eat without trouble. When you sat beside him that morning with the fruit in your hands, Jongho raised an eyebrow but didn’t mention it. You ate the first few slices before offering them to the wine-haired guard, who accepted them with a small smile. Every so often, he turns slightly, ensuring that you’re continuing to eat as much as he does. 

At one point he tilts his head back, looking up at you with those pretty, boba pearl eyes and opens his mouth slightly. Both his hands are occupied, busy with the intricate care his blade necessitates. With your heart thumping quickly in your chest, you place a slice of fruit on Jongho’s waiting lips and try desperately not to linger on the thought of how full and supple they are. 

“Thanks, love,” he murmurs without looking at you, the words sweet and saccharine in the low timber of his voice. 

Seonghwa laughed when Jongho’s cheeks pinkened after that, but you weren’t really sure why. 

Turning his attention to you, Seonghwa looks down at your figure. Sitting with a slight slump in your shoulders, the spymaster smiles faintly. Slouched posture is a good sign, he muses. You’re comfortable. 

When you tilt your head to the side, silently questioning Seonghwa’s thoughts, you reach up to gingerly grasp his fingers. There’s no hesitation. There hasn’t been in a long while. Seonghwa extends his hand in offering when he notices your appendages twitch. His warmth sinks into your palm and you nearly hum at the soothing feeling. 

You squeeze his hand twice before lingering for a longer third.

‘Are you okay?’ you silently question.

Seonghwa’s lips quirk into another gentle smile, but his eyes are distant. It makes your heart tug painfully. The hickory of his near-black irises is muted. You miss the glimmer of those sweet, dark eyes that show when he smiles. 

“Yeah, m’alright, lovebug.” 

Your heart slams into your ribs – a delighted feeling. Lovebug. You like that. 

Seonghwa leans closer to repeat the gesture, squeezing twice and then lingering for an ‘okay.’ His other hand lifts to run over the back of your head with a delicate movement. Fingers carefully scratch against your scalp and you resist the temptation to lean into his hands and exhale softly. 

“I have to go see Joong and Yunho, though. I really did just remember something I wanted to speak to ‘em about,” he whispers. Dragging his nails gently over the nape of your neck once more, Seonghwa smiles when you finally lean into his touch with a quiet rumble. He thinks you look positively cat-like. When one set of lashes flutters against your cheek in a tired, pleased expression, Seonghwa could coo at the endearing look. He withholds only to save you the embarrassment of his mother-hen tendencies. 

Your one eye flickers over his expression once more before you relent and nod your head just once. Seonghwa’s hand begins to pull away from your head, and this time you do make a tiny sound of sadness. The eldest feels his heart squeeze at your reluctance to be parted from him, leaning close to drag his thumb over the stiff material of your mask with a sweet touch before he stands upright once more. 

“I’ll be back in a minute, okay? You and Jongho finish up and join us for dinner soon.” 

You let out a short exhale through your nose, a sound they’ve taken to signify your agreement. Jongho’s lips twitch at the noise, trying to hold back the laugh he wants to let out. 

“Okay,” you whisper softly beneath your breath as you lean back against the back of the log. Seonghwa smiles and finally shifts his stance to leave, only pressing a gentle kiss to Jongho’s brow before walking off. Your head tilts one last time as Seonghwa leaves, wondering if perhaps one day he’ll kiss your head too when he takes his leave. 

The archer finds Yunho before Hongjoong. The tallest of Ateez is easy to collect when Seonghwa gives him a meaningful look. The tension in the eldest’s brow must convince Yunho that there is something important he is needed for because he immediately follows after Seonghwa. The two find themselves in the Captain’s cavern, his and Seonghwa’s really, standing before the long-haired leader with a small frown on the archer’s lips. 

Hongjoong mimics the frown, coming to a stand behind the desk currently holding a plethora of worn maps. 

“What’s wrong?” 

Seonghwa sighs, squeezing his fists together before he turns to face Yunho with a solemn expression. 

“When’s her birthday?” 

Yunho’s brow quirks at the same time the tension in his shoulders finally loosens a notch. Sighing softly, he licks his lips and answers.

“Tiny’s?” 

Seonghwa nods, the expression on his face unchanging: serious and solemn, as if the situation was as grave as a wake. Hongjoong glances between the two men, his brow now lifted in surprise, but he says nothing. 

“It’s been three years since she’s been with us,” Seonghwa murmurs tersely. “But we haven’t celebrated her birthday. The first year I could understand missing it – I mean, she was still adjusting to Ateez, and even after that she’s still a little apprehensive. Not that I blame her, of course – I just… It’s been three full years and I can’t believe we’ve missed her birthday at least three times.” 

Yunho’s bottom teeth sink into his lip and his eyes suddenly dart towards the floor. He swallows once, shifting on his feet and sighs as he ponders how to answer Seonghwa’s question. The eldest watches his partner with that same, tense look and his eyes glisten with something sad – something understanding, as if he knows Yunho’s answer before he speaks it aloud. 

“I don’t know,” Yunho finally answers quietly. He looks down at his feet, unable to meet his elder’s eyes. His eyes squeeze shut with another sigh that shakes through his shoulders. He repeats himself louder, still just barely above a whisper. “I don’t know.” 

Hongjoong steps forward from behind his desk. ��What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?” 

“I mean I don’t know,” Yunho whispers sadly. “And she doesn’t either.” 

Seonghwa licks his lips, grasping at strings as he scrambles to find the right words to say. 

“I don’t understand. How can she not know her own birthday?” 

Yunho won’t look up from his feet. His fingers curl into fists and the tips of his nails dig into his palms from the tightness of his grip. He can’t bring himself to loosen his hold. 

“Tiny, uh… After everything that happened with her – with that village, they don’t particularly regard her… fondly, you know?” 

Yunho speaks slowly and methodically, as if trying carefully to pick the right words to say. His tone is terse and cold, the disdain for the village of his past more than evident in his voice. Hongjoong looks up at his partner with a frown still on his lips, his heart pulsing sadly in his chest. 

“But she doesn’t know her own birthday? No one in her village told either of you?”

Yunho sighs again, finally looking up at his Captain with grief plastered across his features in an expression neither man can ignore. Seonghwa is already stepping forward, settling an arm over Yunho’s shoulders and rubbing his thumb across the taller man’s jaw. 

Yunho leans closer to Seonghwa and continues, voice deep and throaty with the weight of his words. “We celebrated it once. Back when we were young – back when… Daia was still around.” 

Hongjoong looks away. 

“But even then,” Yunho continues softly, trying not to think of the bony cage casting shadows of your quivering form. You were so young. Little fingers grasped the cold bars that separated him from you, desperately whispering a plea for him to leave. He should have known your father wouldn’t let you celebrate your birthday like he and the other children did. But the smile on your face was so pure, so genuinely happy that he could never utter the words that may wipe it away. 

 “We didn’t know the exact date – just that she was born in the spring. Her father… well he killed the attendants that assisted her mother through labor. Not that we could prove it, of course. Anyone around for Bug’s birth… isn’t around anymore. And Bug was raised kind of secluded the first few years of her life. No one knows exactly when she was born and her father certainly wouldn’t say.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes continue to glisten with that broken look, and he licks his drying lips before he speaks. His heart throbs painfully, echoing the sadness in his face.. “And… after Daia wasn’t around anymore?” 

Seonghwa hates that he asks. 

Yunho shifts on his feet and looks away again. 

“I, uh… I don’t know much of what happened after Daia…” he trails off for a long moment. “By that time, the village and her father turned their backs on Bug, and I… I was exiled a few years later.” 

Seonghwa thumbs over Yunho’s jaw again, trying to soothe his lover’s agony. Hongjoong steps closer and lays his hand across Seonghwa’s back, their combined sadness near tangible in the cavern hall. 

“Bug’s birthday…” Yunho finally continues. “She’s never seen it as a good thing, you know? Her father and the village certainly didn’t see it that way.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes sadden, the shine of his irises dulling at Yunho’s confession. He turns over his shoulder to look at Hongjoong and presses his lips together, as if regretting bringing up the topic altogether. 

“A good thing?” Hongjoong whispers. 

Yunho shakes his head, his frown dragging down his lips as he breathes softly. “Not something worth celebrating. The day she was born was… the start of everything bad, I guess.” 

Seonghwa’s eyes squeeze shut, the burn of tears forcing pressure to build in the corners. 

“Sometimes I think,” Yunho whispers tiredly, his eyes cloudy and unfocused as he stares into the distance. “I think she might hate it; that she might despise the day of her birth because of all the pain that came after.”

Hongjoong takes a deep breath in through his nose, trying to soothe the anguish that swells inside his ribs. There’s grief there, rage too, settling in the pit of his stomach and pushing upwards into his chest and throat. It’s not directed at you – it could never be. It’s towards your father, towards your village, towards anyone that has looked at you with disdain and uttered that foul moniker he knows makes you flinch. 

“I’m sorry, Yun.” 

Yunho shakes his head, leaning into Seonghwa’s hand and looking down at Hongjoong with his eyes glistening with welling tears. He swallows, clearly resisting the urge to cry, and kisses Seonghwa’s thumb when it brushes his mouth. “‘S okay, Seonghwa. I know your intentions were honorable.” 

Seonghwa nods, finally leaning forward until his head rests against Yunho’s collarbone. An arm wraps around the eldest’s shoulders and Hongjoong presses himself against Seonghwa’s back, encasing both him and Yunho. 

“So don’t bring up her birthday, then?” Hongjoong whispers, frown still drawing his lips downward. He speaks the question into Seonghwa’s shoulder blade, his lips grazing the tunic covering his skin. 

Yunho is silent for a long moment. No one speaks and the sounds of their hushed breaths are all that echo through the hollowed cavern. Yunho ponders his Captain’s question in the silence and thinks of your growth in the years you’ve spent in their camp. Would you rather they never mention your birthday again? Or would you appreciate a different kind of memory to replace the shaded pains of the ones long past?

Soon after, Yunho leans forward to bury his face into Seonghwa’s hair before he breathes deeply and pulls back, a small quirk lifting the corner of his lips. He thinks of you and that youthful grin that used to grace your lips more often as a child. Yunho recalls the mischief in your smile and the wonder that would flash across your eyes, and he begins to twist an idea around his thoughts. It’s that look he wants to see again. He always wants to see it; the mischief, the awe, the teasing grin you used to throw over your shoulder to get him to chase you through the training grounds. He wants that so badly. 

“Actually, Captain…” 

Hongjoong peels his head away from Seonghwa’s shoulder, looking up to meet Yunho’s eyes with a raised brow and a question in his eyes. “Hmm?”

Yunho finally manages a fraction of a smile, stroking his hand over Seonghwa’s shoulders as he speaks. 

“I think there might be a way we can show her that her birth is something worth celebrating. I’ll need your help though.” 

“Anything.” 

“Anything for her,” Seonghwa finishes at the same time Hongjoong speaks. 

Yunho’s heart swells. The soft grin on his features begins to stretch, mirrored by his two elders. Pride begins to surge beneath his skin and it makes him feel fuzzy. 

“What do you need?” Hongjoong whispers into the fraction of space separating their lips. Yunho huffs a smile, leaning closer until his mouth brushes against his leader’s. 

“How do you feel about a little trip, Captain?” 

Time passes easily. About a week goes by after the conversation between you, Jongho and Seonghwa before Hongjoong announces that Ateez will be spending a few nights traveling away from camp. He won’t say where they’re traveling to nor why they’re going, but there’s a mischievous grin on his lips when you tilt your head in suspicion. No one will tell you anything about the adventure other than handing you a cloth pack to gather some things for the trip. 

Mingi helps you clean your blades and slides them into the scabbards on your back for you. Seonghwa packs food away carefully and slides extra servings of dried and cured meats into your pack followed by the fruit he knows you and Jongho love. San and Yeosang sit by your side as you help sort the first aid supplies the camp may need. The inky vines wrapping around Yeosang’s forearms flashes from beneath his sleeves, and you find yourself following the sight of the tattoo each time you peek a glimpse of golden skin covered in leafy shapes. 

San laughs and raises an eyebrow at his lover when he flicks his shirt above his waistband playfully, showcasing the span of scales descending over his hip and up his waist. He giggles when you reach forward to pull his shirt higher over his side, eager to follow the lines of ink up his torso. San pushes your hands away and promises to show you one day. Wooyoung enters the cavern a moment later and exchanges a knowing look with San, as if the same pattern of obsidian scales crawls up the opposite side of his own torso. 

On the morning Hongjoong announced their leave, you pack the last of your things diligently in the cloth pack given to you. There’s something fond rippling through your chest as you slide a hand over the large tunic laid across your bed. 

The sensation seeps all the way down to your toes, a bittersweet happiness that arose from the realization that you’ve never… owned things before. 

In that village, nothing was ever yours. It was always stolen or taken, never owned. 

But now… 

Now there’s all kinds of things in your corner of the medical cavern. There’s the little rope of twine with eight little beads Yeosang gave you to fiddle with so you wouldn’t pick and pull at your nails. There’s the bear-hide blanket Jongho handmade when you started to grow cold in the winter nights. A pile of spare clothes tailored to fit your size sits beneath your bed. A hollowed shell of smooth, rich cream sits beside you, specially made for you by Wooyoung and San when they noticed your scars were particularly aching in the cold weather. There’s a whetstone and cleaning tools beside your swords, left there by Mingi when he noticed your blades were dulling. Seonghwa always leaves a myriad of flowers beside your bed each week, and the dried stems of all his past bouquets hang above your on a piece of twine Joong brought you. There’s armor and chainmail beneath your bed, presented by Hongjoong with a shy smile. He cleans them for you when he thinks you’re not looking, ensuring the armor stays in good shape and protects you well. One of Yunho’s thicker tunics lies at the foot of your bed, a staple of your growing closet of clothes. He knows you like having his scent nearby. There’s books too, ones from the medical cavern and ones from Wooyoung, who you’ve discovered is quite the avid reader. 

There’s just… all sorts of things. 

And you’ve never really owned things before. It’s strange. And quite enjoyable, you decide.

You like owning things. You like being part of Ateez – being part of a family. 

With your lips twitching upwards into a fond smile, you stand with the last of your belongings and slide the straps of your cloth pack over your shoulders. It sits a little strangely on your back but you huff and step out of the cavern anyway. 

The rest of Ateez is already outside, shuffling the last of their belongings into storage and closing up the cave system behind you. A wooden sort of door slides shut behind you and the viny, earthen cover falls over it. It’s perfectly concealed from the wild, appearing just like any other cropping of rocks and stone. You marvel at their ingenuity and turn to find Wooyoung approaching you with a smile on his lips. 

“Good morning, Bug. Are you ready?” 

Your head tilts with a question as Wooyoung’s hands shift upwards to the straps of your pack. He raises a brow once, always asking for permission before he touches, and you shift closer and slide your hands onto his hips with a nod of your head. Wooyoung’s smile seems to widen, if at all possible, and he carefully begins to adjust the straps of your pack so it sits better across your back. Your gaze follows his hands, tracing over the fading scar on his one wrist – the space where a rusty shackle used to sit. Your lips quirk happily at the sight of the missing metal cuff, now long buried in the earth. He hums happily at the feeling of your hands on his waist, and chuckles beneath his breath when he feels your hands attempting to weasel under his shirt – likely another attempt to get a look at the tattoo you know sits there. 

Wooyoung huffs a breath as you skate a gentle hand over his bare hip, focusing on the wavy shape of an oscillating line your draw over his skin. He translates the word as ‘what’ and understands your inquisition to mean ‘Ready for what?’ 

“Can’t tell you,” he laughs, his chest shaking with the motion as you squeeze his hip in retaliation. “Sorry, baby. Captain’s orders; take it up with Hongjoong if you want to know so badly.” 

Your one eye rolls and Wooyoung laughs again, that bright, cackling sound echoing through the trees in a burst of noise that makes your heart flutter. You like Wooyoung’s laugh. 

“C’mon you two!” Hongjoong calls from a distance, already beginning to pace towards the southwest. “We’re burning daylight. Let’s get moving.” 

You respond with a choked hum despite knowing your Captain can’t hear it. Wooyoung grins, finally satisfied with the adjustments he’s made on your pack, and turns over his shoulder to call back, “We’re coming, Captain. Relax a little. It’s barely dawn, we’re on schedule.” 

You don’t need to see Hongjoong to know what expression the Captain has on his face. A tiny smile appears on your lips and when Wooyoung turns back to face you with a hand held out in offering, his grin beams once more. 

“C’mon, baby. You wanna walk with me and Sannie today?” 

Your answering nod is a little too eager, but Wooyoung doesn’t mention it. 

To you, anyway. The smug grin he shoots over his shoulder at Mingi and Yunho is met with a sigh and an eye roll. The vulgar gesture Mingi throws back goes unseen by you too. 

Seonghwa sees it though, and the sound of Mingi’s squawk when he’s slapped across the shoulder by the archer makes Wooyoung laugh again. 

It’s springtime. The forest is filled with bright shades of emerald green and flowers have begun to sprout along patches of sunlight. Lupin tickle at your ankles when you pass and you watch their lilac and lavender petals sway in the wind with a fond expression. Your last bouquet from Seonghwa was fresh Lupin flowers, a growing favorite of yours he has noticed. 

Wooyoung holds your hand as you walk, sometimes shifting to allow San to take his place. They talk happily as you stride through the forest, following Yeosang and Jongho as they lead your band of warriors through the trees. You still don’t know where you’re going nor why you’re going there, but you trust your Captain and you trust your family. 

Eventually, you unlink your hands from San to step ahead and walk besides Mingi and Yunho. San’s resounding pout and soft sigh are lost on you, but Wooyoung slides his hand into his partner’s empty fingers with a grin and a teasing poke to San’s side. Mingi intertwines his fingers with yours with a beaming grin and a happy chuckle, swinging your hands between you as you walk. He points out the flora and fauna he recognizes along the hike, explaining their uses as he recalls Yeosang’s teachings. He mentions the honey-haired healer’s tattoo sleeve of medicinal herbs and shows you some of the plants he recognizes to be inked into Yeosang’s skin. You eagerly categorize the leaves and petals of each plant, hoping that you’ll one day be able to find each one decorating Yeosang’s skin. 

The first night away from camp is spent sleeping beneath the stars. 

Your group of nine lays huddled together in a clearing in the pines, with a small fire burning quietly in the center for warmth. Shifts for watch are assigned and you find yourself curling between Yunho and San that night with a promise to take the final watch with Seonghwa. With cicadas clicking in the distance and a cool breeze rustling the branches above you, you find sleep easy that night. Strangely enough, despite resting out in the open with no cover around, you find you can sleep calmly. Nestled between your Yunho and your San, their body heat keeping you warm even underneath the fur blankets swaddled around you, you feel safe enough to sink into a well-earned sleep. You know the others will wake you if there’s trouble lurking about. They would never let anything happen to their family. 

The next day is spent between Hongjoong and Seonghwa, happily listening to their stories and eagerly nudging the both of them to show you some of the ink decorating their skin. Once you found out about Yeosang’s tattoos, there was nothing holding you back from asking the others about their own. Seonghwa relents with a teasing grin towards Hongjoong, showing you the pattern of large scales that crawl up his forearms. You trace the delicate scales with a happy sound, not noticing the shiver that crawls down Seonghwa’s spine. Hongjoong rolls his eyes at his partner, but he almost wishes to show you the ink decorating his back and spine too. He only waves you away with a laugh when you turn to him with a tilt of your head and a happy question on your lips. 

That night you sleep between Yeosang and Jongho, one of your legs wedged between the youngest’s and your hand clumsily intertwined between the healer’s fingers. This time, the nine of you settle in a cliff alcove, sheltered from the fog and the light drizzle of rain that spatters through the forest around midnight. 

There’s no telling how far you’ve traveled from Ateez’s hollow. It’s been two days of mostly hiking and stopping for breaks and meals, but you’ve long grown used to strenuous labor so the walk is not nearly as difficult as you once thought it to be. You still have little to no knowledge on your destination as your Captain is tight-lipped about the matter. He only gives you soft smiles and quiet laughter when you nag him about where or why you’ve left camp. 

On the third and last day of your long journey, you walk between Yeosang and Jongho at the front of your pack. The two have been leading you for three days, seeming to know the way without needing a map or compass. Every once and a while, Yeosang looks up at the night sky and lifts a hand to palm at the stars. You understand he must be checking your position, ensuring that they’re still on the right path, but you don’t ask. You find Polaris winking down at you each night with a fondness in your chest, and you give her a gentle, barely-there smile each time you see her. 

The healer and his partner pace through the trees with newfound urgency that morning. The two members eagerly shuffle through the trees with beaming grins and an energy that you cannot help but mimic. They’re excited about something – unfathomably so. 

“We’re almost there, honey,” Yeosang encourages you, holding out a hand to help you scale the final boulder before you begin your descent back down the mountainside. “Just another mile or so, I promise.”

You trust him. 

The others have begun to feed on the buzzing atmosphere building in the group. There’s tension simmering, but a good kind, as if there’s something awaiting your family at your destination. You don’t know what it is, but it must be something good if they’re eagerly beginning to quicken the pace. 

Soon after you begin your descent down the small mountain, the dense foliage of pine trees and packed soil gives way to something softer – something you’ve never quite seen or felt before. It’s pliable and squishy beneath your feet, allowing your weight to sink into the material with each step. It leaves footprints in your wake, the ground shifting and moving beneath your feet. 

Sand. 

It’s sand. 

You know it’s sand because Yeosang has some collected in a small jar in the medical cavern. You’ve never seen it before: sand or the sea. You found the tiny bottle of eroded stone once and carefully examined it with a puzzled expression until Yeosang found you. The miniscule grains of rock and shell shifted in the bottle as Yeosang explained where it was from. 

You listened to him for hours that day. 

He talked about the sea and his life as a captain of his own ship from the hour of the sun’s peak until it descended beneath the horizon. You were fascinated. Eagerly hanging onto every single one of his words, you listened to Yeosang with a rapture you couldn’t describe. He spoke of the ocean and the smell of salt in the fresh air, mentioning that there was a particular hint of something so ocean-like in the scent that he couldn't begin to describe. Yeosang described the sand and the shore, detailing how the plush sand like the stuff in his bottle gave way to harder packed ground the closer you grew to the sea. He talked of how it felt to play in the waves and to feel the cool touch of the ocean on his skin. 

You marveled at him for hours, longing desperately to one day know the smell he spoke of, to feel the ocean breeze tickle your skin and to feel its waves brush against your feet. 

It sounded wonderful. 

So when the sand beneath your feet begins to thicken, giving way to clumsier footsteps and the sound of something roaring in the distance, you perk upwards. 

Your entire body slams to a halt, startling San who walks behind you. Jerking upwards, your one eye darts over to Yeosang, who stands with Jongho at his side, already looking at you. There’s this look in their eyes; something fond and gentle – an expression you’ve begun to recognize. They watch you as you begin to piece together the information you’ve gathered of this little trip, smiles on their faces as you realize where they’ve taken you. 

At your side, San begins to bend forward, his hands reaching out to pull at the laces of your boots and chuckling beneath his breath. You reach out to stabilize yourself on his shoulder as you make a sound of confusion. 

‘What’s going on?’ you try to question without speaking.

At your back, Yunho runs a hand down your spine and soothes the tension in your shoulders. You reach back, grasping his hand with a strength that surprises you and draw that oscillating squiggle across the back of his hand with a bewildered expression. 

‘What’s happening?’ 

There’s another word you want to say. One you don’t have a translation for. A word you’ve never spoken or seen. 

Ocean. The sea. 

You don’t have a word for it. 

But you can smell it now. That salty, fresh sort of scent with a hint of something you cannot place. Just like Yeosang described. 

The sea. 

San taps your leg, garnering your attention and helping you lift your foot so you can place it on his knee. He’s kneeling at your feet, one leg propped up to lift your foot and the other in the sand beneath him. The healer pulls at your laces, beginning to untie your shoes and pull them from your feet with a grin. 

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he murmurs with that low timber that makes you shiver. “Let’s get these off.”

Your held tilts in confusion. Seonghwa chuckles behind you, leaning into Mingi’s side and shooting a look over at Wooyoung. “Gotta take your shoes off unless you want sand in the soles, Bug. It’ll be a pain to walk back with all that in ‘em. I promise you’ll never be able to get it all out.” 

Hongjoong laughs from beside Jongho, the Captain throwing his head back with a knowing grin. “Speaking from experience, huh, darling?” 

Seonghwa rolls his eyes and ignores his lover, dropping a hand to intertwine with Wooyoung’s. The younger eagerly locks their fingers together, smiling happily and leaning his head onto Seonghwa’s shoulder as you process everything. 

The others begin to pull off their own shoes, tying them to their packs or holding the laces in their fingers. Mingi laughs and pushes Wooyoung when he bends over to undo his laces, and when Wooyoung stumbles, he shouts indignantly and lurches upwards for revenge. Seonghwa laughs and tries to settle them, only to end up yanked out of the way by a grinning Yeosang. Wooyoung and Mingi screech at each other, beginning to race down the sand towards the roaring sound that continues to swell in the distance. 

You worriedly look down at San, his dark irises already looking up at you with adoration swirling behind them. The healer pulls off your sock and carefully sets your foot back onto the sand, watching as you marvel at the plush, cool material beneath the soles of your feet. 

“C’mon, tiny,” Yunho laughs behind you, chest rumbling as he speaks. The vibration echoes through your back from how close the warrior is pressed against you. He grins when you shiver pleasantly. “We’ve gotta catch up.” 

San lifts your other foot delicately and places it on his waiting knee, repeating the process of taking off your shoe and sock before he ties the laces together and stores them away in his pack. Before he sets your foot back onto the sand, San’s eyes twinkle with something mischievous.

He leans forward and drags his fingers across the skin of your calf, eyes crinkling as he smiles. You look back down at him with your stomach fluttering pleasantly, watching as San leans forward and presses his lips to the side of your calf. 

Oh. 

His lips skate over the muscle and his hand rests where your thigh connects with the knee. You feel your breathing still. Air catches in your lungs, and some burst of emotion lurches into your throat as you stop and stare down at the healer with one widened eye. You can feel the smile on San’s soft lips as he drags his mouth from your calf to your knee, kissing your skin sweetly as he goes. He drifts over scars both fresh and faded, but does not stop moving as he ascends up your calf. San leaves a trail of goosebumps in his wake, your skin practically shivering under his touch and lighting ablaze when he pulls away.

Oh. 

You stare open-mouthed at the healer when San finally slides a hand down your leg and deposits it onto the sand. You lick your lips once, trying desperately to come up with words to say, but there’s nothing. Just the trail of blazing heat San left behind and a roaring fire beginning to spread inside your chest. You can practically feel the heat in your face, and you lift a hand to palm at your cheek as San watches with a teasing grin. Your figure practically vibrates as you shiver through the emotion bursting through you. 

“San…” 

Said healer mimics your shiver as you whisper his name, fingers dancing along your calf before he stops. He presses one final kiss to your knee, at the crease of the joint, and this time your eye slides shut with a shiver. The plush feeling of his lips against your skin is ambrosia for your soul and the barest touch of moisture is left behind when he finally pulls away. 

He looks up at you with honey in his irises, hand skating down your calf once more and smiles. 

“C’mon, Bug. We’ve got places to be,” he teases, saccharine timber never failing to make you melt. 

As if he wasn’t the one distracting you. 

Finally, you’re able to squeeze his shoulder thankfully and San beams up at you in the way that makes those sweet little dimples poke out of his cheeks. You nearly lean forward to caress a finger of the indents that make your heart mushy, but still as the cool sand sinks between your toes. 

It’s… soft. 

The sand melts beneath your soles like butter, cradling your heels and caressing your skin like silk. You wiggle your toes and awe at the feeling, watching the sand shift and move with your lips just barely parted in wonder. San watches from your feet, his gentle eyes roaming over your partly-concealed face and grinning at the expression plastered across your features. Your lips are parted, but just barely, taking deep breaths to inhale the fresh air of the sea breeze and one eye dilated with awe. San's heart thumps vibrantly beneath his ribs, a song of your name. It calls out to you sweetly, and San swears that when he runs his hand across the bare skin of your leg, brushing over scars and broken skin, he can hear your heart call his name in return. 

Your one eye darts upwards to meet your Captain’s gaze. 

Hongjoong stares at you with some ineffable softness in his expression. He reaches a hand out to grasp your fingers, helping you step forward away from San. The healer stands from his kneeling position, his own footwear now missing, and joins you at your side. 

“You like it?” Hongjoong whispers as you near. 

The vigorous nod of your head is almost comical, and Hongjoong chuckles beneath his breath. Yes. Yes you like it. 

San beams at your side, unable to stop the mirthful sound of his laughter. It erupts from his chest in that giggling way that you adore. You tilt your head to look at him, your chest swelling and heart thumping with the tumultuous feelings surging within you. San reaches out to run a hand down your arm and you lean close offering a single line of ‘thanks’ across his palm. 

Yunho leans forward and pecks a kiss across your forehead, directly over the mask concealing the right half of your face and then turns to walk after Wooyoung and Mingi, San at his heels. He doesn’t acknowledge the kiss, but your heart jumps into your throat regardless. Your fingers itch to follow him, twitching in an attempt to reach for him, but you turn back to your Captain instead. 

Hongjoong is still looking at you, that ineffable softness still radiating from him. “C’mon, angel. Let’s go see the ocean.” 

You’ve never been more excited. 

Hongjoong begins pulling you in the direction the others have disappeared in, following them over the dunes of sand. At first, he pulls your awestruck figure behind him as you make your way through the deeping sand, turning back to watch you marvel at the grains of white and cream colored grains. Your feet drag, slowing the two of you down as you continue to look down at the sand beneath you. At one point, you can’t resist the temptation and you stop, carefully pulling your hand from Hongjoong’s to bend at the knees and drop into the sand. 

“Woah, angel!” Hongjoong gasps as you let go of his hand and urgently drop into the earth below. “Careful!” 

Dragging your fingers through the silky material, you watch the tiny pieces of sediment cascade back into the hills beneath you as they trail between your fingers. The sand is cool to the touch and gentle as it scratches against your skin. You thought it would be rough, but it’s not. Not this sand anyway. 

Seonghwa chuckles behind you, stopping to drop his hands beneath your shoulders and gently lift you back up to your feet. The others are little specks in the distance, just a few hundred yards away. The eldest carefully sets you on your feet and slides a hand down to intertwine with your own. 

“C'mon, lovebug. We haven’t even reached the good part yet.” 

The good part? You wonder. How could it possibly get any better than this? 

But as the crashing sound gets louder with each step you take and the smell of salt continues to grow stronger, you begin to realize what the good part is. 

Soon after, it becomes you dragging Hongjoong and Seonghwa through the sand dunes. Eagerly tugging them behind you as you race towards the others, you sink into the sand and stumble a few times, only catching yourself when either member scrambles to grab your waist. You push quicker through the deepening sand each time you right yourself, racing through the dunes until you finally see it. 

The sea. 

And you stop moving. 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa nearly crash into your back as you freeze, body halting at the top of the sand dune. Your one eye is transfixed on the view before you, mouth parted and body slack with awe. 

Waves are crashing along the shore, breaking into foamy surf as they collide with the cream-colored sand. There are little birds with thin, long legs dancing in the shoreline, pecking at things in the packed sand. You watch with fascination as they rush away in a flock from an oncoming wave. When the foam finally settles, they return to their feeding grounds, continuing to peck away at something beneath the darker sand. The smell of salt fills your senses and there’s a brush of water against your skin as a breeze carries a mist of salt onto the shoreline. 

You’ve never seen so much… color before. 

The ocean is blue. Green too, and teal and dark and bright, and every color in the range you can possibly think of. It’s aquamarine in the peaks of crashing waves and a darker cyan in the deepness of the salty water. There’s pale blue, creamy skies and even paler cream-colored clouds. You nearly wish you could reach out and touch one. 

It’s wonderful. And it’s so much more than you think you deserve. 

With awe on your features and mouth slightly parted, you stare mystified at the sea before you. Hongjoong steps up beside you, the others starting to circle back to stand nearby. They just stand there… watching you for a minute. 

They watch your one pupil dilate and your expression softens into wonderous glee. Their hands intertwine with each other, fingers squeezing one another and hearts thumping happily in their chests. There’s pride there, and affection too, roaring madly beneath their skin and calling out to the sea with a throaty, triumphant call. 

You like it. You like the sea. 

And they like you. 

Hongjoong slides a hand down your arm until he can gently link your scarred fingers with his own. Your attention briefly shifts away from the sea to look over at your captain. 

His soft brown hair rustles as the sea breeze flutters through the strands, and Hongjoong smiles. Eyes scrunching into a beaming grin, the one that you like so much, he offers a squeeze of your palm. The scar crossing his one eye moves with his expression and you adore the way it looks when he smiles. Chocolate brown irises flicker in the brightness of the sunlight and for a moment, you think you much prefer the color of his eyes than the enchanting blue-green of the sea. 

But it’s tough competition, of course. 

Hongjoong squeezes your hand once more, fully drawing your attention back to him, and he leans close to carefully grasp the side of your face. His palm gently cups your mask, stroking his thumb over the tough material with a delicateness you cannot fathom deserving. But he touches you regardless, even if it's the mask instead of your skin. Hongjoong doesn’t care that you continue to wear it. None of them do. It’s a part of you, and they’ll continue to care for you all the same. 

“Are you happy?” The Captain inquires, licking his lips as he watches you. 

The vigor in your nod nearly makes him laugh. His beaming grin only seems to widen and you find yourself stunned at how beautiful he looks happy. 

“Yeah? That’s good. I’m glad you’re happy, angel.” 

You want to ask something else. Something about why your little clan has ventured this far or perhaps something else, but you can’t begin to find the words for it. 

You don’t need to though. 

Hongjoong leans closer, his warm, umber eyes scanning your features as he whispers something only for you to hear. 

“Happy birthday, Bug.” 

You barely register the sentiment before your captain leans forward and gently presses his lips to the crown of your head. 

You don’t breathe. Too frightened that any movement will force him to pull away, you stay remarkably still and stare numbly into Hongjoong’s chest. 

His lips linger for a long moment against your hairline, and you feel the warmth of his exhale against your scalp. The feeling makes your stomach flutter pleasantly and suddenly your body feels like you’re going to vibrate out of sheer enjoyment. Another shiver tickles its way up your spine and you finally exhale shakily. Reaching a hand upwards, you clutch onto the hand Hongjoong has still cupping your cheek. 

Her heart finally throbs with a dull ache. 

Your birthday? 

You didn’t even think… 

Hongjoong exhales softly and bends to drop a second kiss onto your mask, just above where your right eye would be. It throbs suddenly, but not so painfully this time. 

Your birthday. 

They came all this way for you? 

All of this… leaving the camp, walking all this way, spending nights on the road, showing you the sea for the first time… they did this to celebrate your birthday? 

Your heart hurts. 

No one has ever done that for you before. 

You suppose Yunho and Daia tried once… but that didn’t end so well. Salt wells behind your one eye and your lip twitches just once, but it's enough for Hongjoong to catch. Your chest aches with the memory of your mother. It’s a hurt you could never quite soothe. 

The Captain’s smile is still bright when he pulls away but there’s a sadness beneath the joy. No, not sadness, you suppose. Something empathetic – something… bittersweet. 

Hongjoong knows. They all do. 

“My birthday?” Your mouth parts to let out the croaked sound. Your voice has gotten better. The deeper, rough tone of your voice has begun to fade after finally learning to use it again. It’s beginning to return to what it used to be – slow and steadily. 

From behind you, Yeosang hums deeply. You recognize the sound without turning to look at him. His voice always carries that undertone of sweet and smooth honey, and you can’t find any other way to describe it. 

“Yeah, honey. You told me you’ve never seen the sea, right? We thought it would make a good birthday present.” 

The healer is standing behind Hongjoong, San and Wooyoung at his sides and the rest of Ateez just beyond. They’re all here. For you. 

You shift on your feet, barely able to restrain the wetness of your one eye as you attempt to face them. Your heart still throbs, but it’s more of a pleasant ache – a good one. A sea breeze rustles your hair. Three silver rings click against your mask; a comforting sound that reminds you of home – of Yunho. The scent of salt in the air fills you with warmth and the silky sand beneath your feet cradles you in the earth’s gentle hands. The world itself seems to wrap around you in its kindness, delicately embracing you as if asking for forgiveness. 

It feels like your mother – like the hugs you can barely remember. 

The burn of tears returns tenfold. 

You’ve never celebrated your birthday before. It was never a day others regarded with joy, so you supposed it was only fair to see it the same way. You don’t even really know what day you were born. Father never told you – he never told anyone. 

But… perhaps this day – the day Ateez has chosen for you – can be your birthday. Maybe this time it doesn’t have to be a bad thing anymore. 

“We wanted to show you something new. Something good. Do you like it?” Wooyoung whispers as you process your feelings. His voice is apprehensive, as if he isn’t quite sure how you’ll respond to celebrating your birthday. You can barely hear him over the roaring sound of waves colliding with the shoreline and birds peeping in the surf. 

You’re already throwing yourself into Wooyoung’s arms before a moment of silence can pass. You crash into his chest with a crooned sound, a desperate cry of joy. 

“Yes!” You finally croak, the word sounding more like a sob than an agreement. “Yes, I like it!”

Wooyoung laughs happily as he wraps his arms around your waist, burying his face into the crook of your neck with a joyful sound. His chest vibrates with his laughter and you love the way it feels against your body. One of your hands slides out from between you and you urgently grasp ahold of Yeosang’s shirt and tug him into your pile with a quick movement. San follows soon after, lured in by Wooyoung’s touch and suddenly you’re buried beneath a mountain of Ateez’s warmth. 

Another wet sob leaves your lips, but it’s much closer to a laugh this time. 

“I love it…” 

And we love you. 

He doesn’t say it aloud, but Wooyoung hopes you hear it anyway. 

Seonghwa lets out a hearty laugh despite it sounding wet with his own tears, and he wraps an arm around Hongjoong’s shoulders as he tugs his captain close. The leader’s eyes are watery as he and the archer pile into your embrace. Mingi and Yunho follow quickly after, with the tallest of the two reaching out to snag Jongho’s tunic. The youngest is already moving, sliding beneath Yeosang’s arm to nuzzle into the healer’s side. One of his hands nestles between his lover’s ribs, resting atop your bicep. You push closer into their hands, warm and happy and still softly crying. 

You love it. 

It cannot possibly get any better than this. Not even the comforting breeze of the ocean air brushing over your skin nor the warmth of any roaring campfire could rival this feeling. There’s no warmth in the world that can surmount the heat of Ateez embracing you. Their hands carefully sweeping over skin leaves trails of pleasant heat in their wake, and the throb of your aching heart is only soothed by a soft coo leaving San’s lips. Wooyoung slides a hand over your head, pulling you closer into his neck, and you feel a bigger hand – Yunho’s, you know – scratch gently over your scalp. Another settles onto your hip, rubbing gentle circles into the bone. They’re Seonghwa’s, you recognize the calluses on his two fingers when they brush over the skin of your bare hip. Mingi’s hand settles across your back, resting between your shoulder blades. His firm touch and big hands are easy to decipher. Jongho’s wrap around your arm, strong and steadfast, just like you know him to be. Your captain’s smaller hand finds your fingers, sliding between them as you grip onto San with a fierce grip. 

Hongjoong’s hands tremble when he twists his grip to drag a line down your left ring finger. His gaze finds yours, a watery smile on his lips when your mouth parts in shock and your one eye dilated beyond comprehension. The Captain finishes drawing the line at the tip of your nail, where each of his fingers meets the end of each of yours. Then Hongjoong slides his hand into yours and squeezes three times. 

Yunho must have taught him that one. 

Because no one else has ever uttered those words to you – least of all meant them. 

Your grip tightens fervently, pulling until you can press Hongjoong’s hand into your chest and let him feel the racing pulse of your heart. It slams into your ribs with a thunderous pace, beating in a pattern you hope he can discern. You pull your head from Wooyoung’s neck just slightly. Just enough to lean down and press your lips to Hongjoong’s fingers. 

You hope he knows what it means. 

He does. 

“Happy birthday, tiny,” Yunho murmurs into the shared space between the nine of you. “We’re so happy you’re here.” 

You weep. 

Ateez spends three nights and four days at the beach. 

On the first, you don’t have the courage to venture too far into the shore. The roaring of waves crashing onto the sand is intimidating when you don’t know how to swim. You settle for watching the others splash and wrestle in the shallow sea. Their shouts of glee are enough joy to warm your heart. 

You watch Mingi grapple with Hongjoong on the shoreline, huffing softly with a grin when Mingi inevitably gets the upper hand. The guard lifts Hongjoong over his shoulder and laughs deeply as he storms his way towards the sea. 

“Put me down!” Hongjoong roars, smacking his hand against Mingi’s back. “Mingi!” 

The guard only laughs and spins the two of them in the shallows as he wades deeper into the waves. 

“Don’t you dare!” 

You watch as Mingi laughs brightly once more, calling out a “too late!” as he unceremoniously dumps his captain into the sea.  

Hongjoong dunks beneath the water with a roar, and for a moment you worry he won’t emerge again. He does, however, and lurches from the waves with an undignified shout and lunges towards Mingi as he laughs. 

“Get back here!” 

You grin and watch the two continue to wrestle in the waves. 

Jongho takes you onto the nearby rocks and shows you the wonders of tide pools. He and Yeosang spent years living by the sea, and he murmurs hundreds of little facts about each of the animals he can find. Crouching down by a shallow pool, Jongho reaches into the cool water and ever so carefully lifts a sea star from the water. He cradles it delicately, leaving it half submerged as he pulls you closer with his other hand. 

“This is a sea star,” he whispers, looking up at you and gesturing for you to crouch beside him. “You want to feel? You won’t hurt it.” 

 When you crouch at his side, Jongho pulls your hand towards him with a smile. Bent at the knees, you lean into his side and watch with a bated breath and marvel at the texture of the sea star still carefully held in Jongho’s hands. It’s soft and squishy beneath your delicate touch and you huff a smile as you watch with a mystified expression. 

You watch some of the tiny feet of the sea star wiggle in Jongho’s hand and whip your head over to face him with a question on your lips. 

Jongho is already looking at you, watching you instead of the sea star in his hands. He’s smiling, softly and sweetly, his eyes fixed on your one eye. They drift from your left one to where your right would be if not hidden behind the mask, then he drops them to your lips. Your breath stutters and you swallow shyly before Jongho lifts his eyes back to your own. 

He smiles, as if nothing happened and continues, “See the poky creatures down here? The ones that look like they have needles? Those are urchins. The sea stars will eat those.” 

It takes more effort than you’d like to admit to pull your gaze away from Jongho’s face. 

At another tidal pool, Jongho points out a creature he calls an anemone. The vibrant teal and green color of its shape mystifies you and you lean closer to investigate it. Listening carefully to Jongho’s explanation of the anemone, you look back up at him with a question in your eyes. 

“Yeah, you can touch that one too. Be careful though.” 

You don’t understand his warning but carefully drop your hand into the pool to delicately caress the anemone anyway. The chill waters surround your skin and you lean closer to touch the creature, you let out a startled squeal when its sticky tentacles wrap themselves around your finger. Surprised, you lurch away from the pool, confusion in your face and hands braced on the rock beside you. 

Jongho laughs so hard you think he might choke. 

You turn to look at him with furrowed brows and an upset pout on your lips, a little disgruntled Jongho didn’t tell you that would happen. 

The youngest continues to laugh at the utter confusion in your expression, finally bracing himself against you and apologizing. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, Bug. I couldn’t help myself!” 

You frown and push gently at his chest, posing a little miffed at Jongho’s teasing. The youngest snorts and pulls you closer to his chest, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 

“I won’t do it again, I promise,” he laughs. “We should wash your hands though, the stingers on those anemones can leave toxins on your skin. I don’t want you to touch your face without cleaning your hands first.”

You huff and nod, letting him lead you away from the rocks and towards the others. When you find San, you race away from Jongho and bury yourself into his chest with a pretend pout. The healer wraps you up in his embrace without question, turning to look at Jongho with a raised brow. Jongho rolls his eyes and laughs. 

Seonghwa and Wooyoung take you to collect shells in the afternoon. 

Your footprints linger in the sand behind you as you hold the archer’s hand and walk along the shoreline. The sand is packed beneath your feet closer to the shore and you find that there are all sorts of different shells just above the water line. 

You recognize some of the larger, smoother shells Yeosang and San use to store medicine sometimes. They’re scallop-shaped and hollow in the middle, and the healers like to use them for creams or other ointments. Seonghwa helps you carry some back to the healers who gratefully pile your collection into one of their packs. They can always use more shells in the medical cavern. 

Further down the beach, you find a plethora of smaller shells and drop down into the sand to rummage through them. There’s hundreds of them, some twisting into points and others round at the edges. Some are still split into pieces and others are still whole. Some are closed like a locket. Seonghwa tells you to leave those ones alone – there’s still creatures living in those ones. You gasp and carefully set the shell back down into the sand ever so delicately. The archer smiles fondly at your care for the earth and her creatures. 

One of the bigger shells that washes up on the shore catches your attention, and you rush over to the pristine, cream colored object. Yeosang called these conches. When you excitedly turn over the shell, you’re startled to find a spiny looking creature inside. A large claw grazes your hand and your heart lurches. 

You shout in surprise, jerking away from the shell with a gasp. 

“Bug?!” 

Seonghwa is at your side in an instant, hands on your back and pulling you away from the shell. “What happened?” 

 He doesn’t know why you shouted at first, too worried something has hurt you. His hands slide across your shoulders, turning you to face him and urgently scanning you for injuries. But when he looks down at the crab claw emerging from the shell, Seonghwa feels his chest shake with quiet laughter. Your head jerks back to look at the archer.

“It’s alright, darling. You just startled the crab living inside this one. He won’t hurt you, honey.”

Each shell you turn over for the rest of the day is done carefully and gently, and Seonghea feels his heart tug affectionately at how cute you look doing so. You nudge one with a stick to see if any claws come out and Seonghwa has to bury his smile in Wooyoung’s shoulder. 

“She’s so precious,” the warrior murmurs under his breath. 

Seonghwa hums in agreement, his head lifting from his partner’s shoulder to find you waving them over excitedly. 

“We’re coming, sweetheart!” 

Wooyoung settles at your side with a grin and looks down at the smooth stones in your hands. There’s a few rocks mixed in with the more ornate looking shells you’ve gathered, and Wooyoung tilts his head in an attempt to decipher why you’ve called them over. 

“What’s goin’ on?” 

Seonghwa’s heart stutters at the beaming smile on your lips. You smile more and this is not the first he’s ever seen, but each time you look up at him with that grin on your face, Seonghwa feels his stomach flutter and pride swell from his gut. He almost bites down on his bottom lip to resist sending you back a grin of his own, but Seonghwa doesn’t. And he’s grateful he does, because the way your one eye crinkles with joy when he smiles down at you makes his cheeks burn and his skin tingle. 

“Look!” You urgently whisper, swallowing around the word to repress how sore your throat is. 

Directing his attention to the dark stones in your hands, Seonghwa’s brows furrow in confusion. 

“I don’t understand.” 

You lift the stone beside his face, pulling Wooyoung into your side as you do. The two of you face Seonghwa as the archer grows more confused. The dark brown, near ebony-colored stone is lifted just beside his temple and you watch with a marveled expression as you shift your gaze from the rock to his eyes. 

“What is it?” Seonghwa urges. 

Wooyoung grins, his teeth flashing as he laughs sweetly. His two-toned hair ruffles in the breeze and Wooyoung turns to face you, squeezing your hip as he slides an arm around you. 

“That’s a good find, Bug,” he murmurs, looking back up at Seonghwa with honey in his gaze. “The same shade as his eyes. It matches him perfectly.” 

You nearly vibrate with happiness, wiggling a little in Wooyoung’s arms as Seonghwa’s eyes crinkle. “Really?” 

You nod fervently, reaching for his hand and dropping the smooth stone into his hand and curling his fingers around it. Seonghwa holds the rock carefully, not looking away from your one eye as he lifts it to press into his heart. 

“Thank you, darling.” 

You smile again, just a little twitch of your lips and nod. Then you turn to Wooyoung and weasel your way out of his grip to hold another up for him. This stone is a similar shade as Seonghwa’s, but just different enough that Seonghwa can see where you’ve matched this one to the exact hue of Wooyoung’s umber irises. 

You hold it out to Wooyoung with a tilt of your head and Wooyoung has to resist the urge to lean forward and squish your cheeks. He’s rarely seen you so excited – so… at ease. It makes every muscle in his body eager with the urge to hold you close and squeeze you tight. 

“For me?”

You nod excitedly and Wooyoung accepts the stone with a skip of his pulse. “Thank you, baby.” 

He and Seonghwa exchange looks and Wooyoung slips the stone into his pocket, where he knows he’ll keep it safe. 

“Help me?” You whisper softly, gesturing to the plethora of stones and shells beneath you. “For the others.” 

“Of course.” 

The two help you find six more stones, one of each of the other members of Ateez. Each one is the exact shade of their eyes – colors you know by heart. 

Wooyoung cannot tell you that after the trip, the rest of the boys gather to look at the stones and shells you collected for them. He doesn’t tell you that Mingi finds some twine and they braid bands for each other, carefully depositing their gifts onto string and binding them to each other’s wrists. 

On the first night, the nine of you sleep around a bonfire. 

The crackling flames keep you warm from the evening’s cool breeze, but you don’t think you sleep at all. The excitement and pure glee from the day keeps you awake. Adrenaline still roars through your veins and you settle for watching the stars for a moment longer. You find the twinkling shape of Polaris easily, and whisper your thanks up at her, just like you do every night since Jongho pointed her out. 

She winks back. 

The fire continues to crackle and the smell of wood burning soothes your nerves. Eventually, you pull yourself from your bed roll, carefully maneuvering away from Yunho’s warm chest and wrap your blanket around your shoulders. Quietly, you make your way over to the massive piece of driftwood facing the shore. 

Then, you drop silently beside Mingi, who sits and watches the sea. It’s technically his watch, but the guard faces the ocean as if he cannot bring himself to look away. 

Mingi does not startle when you find your place at his side, only shifting slightly to allow you to get comfortable. As you settle, you scooch as close as you can towards Mingi’s broad chest. Your side presses into his as you rest your weight against him and Mingi smiles, still looking at the sea. He easily accommodates your weight and wraps an arm around your shoulder, covering both your forms with his blanket. You snuggle close, burying your face into his neck and continue to watch the waves crash against the shore as the moon illuminates their peaks. 

You sit there for hours. Though you cannot sleep, excitement still pumping through your body, you find staying awake with Mingi is just as nice. Far more comforting, you’d even say. Mingi’s body heat keeps you pleasantly warm and his big arm stays wrapped around your waist. Soon after you settle, the guard drops his cheek onto your head and he breathes slow and deep. 

Even when Yeosang relieves him of his shift, taking over his place for watch, Mingi remains still. The two of you stay there until neither of you can keep your slowly fluttering lids open any longer. 

Yunho finds the two of you in the morning, and he kisses Mingi awake with a sweet grin and soft eyes. He brushes a hand through your hair and drops a kiss onto your head, eventually dropping onto your other side where he wraps an arm around both you and Mingi as the three of you watch the sunrise. 

The second day, you finally find the courage to venture into the waves with San and Yunho at your sides. Yeosang stands in the waves, waiting for you. 

San leads the way, walking backwards into the surf and holding both your hands. Yunho stands beside you, one of his arms reaching out to steady you and reassure you that he’s still there. You make eye contact with Yeosang and he winks at you. The honey-haired healer grew up in the sea. You know that if anything goes wrong, Yeosang will know what to do. 

“Let’s go, tiny. You’ve got this,” Yunho encourages, softly nudging you forward as you apprehensively toe the water line. 

You can’t swim. And you’ve never ventured into the sea before. 

It’s a little daunting, but the dimples on San’s cheeks and the smile on his lips encourages you to keep walking. You clutch his hands with a vice grip and gasp as the cold, salty waves cascade over your toes. 

“Sorry, lovebug. It’s a little cold.”

San laughs as you throw him a withering look. That information would have been helpful before you stepped into the sea. Yeosang laughs at your side, rubbing a hand along your waist and watching you shiver at the warmth of his touch. 

No matter how many times they touch you, you cannot help the way it makes you feel. 

“A little further and we can stop,” San murmurs, squeezing your hand when you stumble in the sand and pulling you closer. “C’mon, baby.” 

A few steps further and you stand at Yeosang’s side, digging your toes into the plush sand beneath your feet and marveling at how the waves lap at your knees. It’s cold, but you don’t mind since it’s a reprieve from the midday sun. When you turn your back to the sea, a strong wave pushes you closer to San and he laughs when you stumble into his chest. Water splashes upwards, and you get your first taste of seawater. 

“Woah!” San laughs, steadying you by the waist and watching as you stick your tongue out with an indignant sound. He can’t help the way laughter bubbles from his chest. You look positively betrayed by the ocean, as if the taste of salt on your tongue personally offends you. 

Yunho and Yeosang dissolve into giggles behind San, leaning onto each other to support themselves. Your one eye narrows and you shoot them an angry look, but San thinks you look more like an angry, wet cat than anything scary. Of course, he would never tell you that.

“I’m sorry, Bug!” Yunho laughs. “You just look so funny!” 

San listens to you grumble something under your breath, something that sounds like ‘showing him something funny,’ and then you bend at the waist and splash a mountain of water in his direction. 

Yunho guffaws at the betrayal and San dissolves into his own laughter, bending at the waist and bracing a hand on his chest as he cackles. Your grin is positively menacing, Yeosang decides. He wonders if you’ll become as much of a brat as Wooyoung if this continues. 

Yunho, now drenched in salt water and wet hair dripping into his eyes, enacts revenge and lunges towards you. San, ever the sweetheart, throws himself in between you and Yunho and the two sink into the waves with smiles. 

Eventually, when your skin begins to wrinkle from the time you spend in the waves and the sun begins to set, Yeosang and you step away from the shore to settle against the same piece of driftwood that marks your temporary camp. Yeosang sits atop the log and you lay just below him on the sand. You lean against his leg, just watching the rest of the boys continue to dance and swim in the surf. The sound of their laughter makes your heart happy and their gleaming smiles leave a grin of your own on your lips. 

It’s nice – smiling again, you mean. It’s a gift from Ateez they have not realized they’ve given, but you take care to treasure it regardless. 

You wrap an arm around Yeosang’s tattooed calf, your fingers occasionally dragging along the pattern of thorns that descend from his thigh. They wind around his leg, ending at the bone of his ankle and you’ve seldom been able to keep your hands away from the obsidian ink since he showed you. This, of course, is much to Yeosang’s delight, and the honey-haired healer can barely resist the way he beams so brightly when your delicate hands skim across his tattoos again. He loves it when you touch him. 

Mingi and Seonghwa leave the shoreline after a few minutes. They step away from the water to stoke the bonfire at the center of your makeshift camp. The flickering amber hues dance along burning bark and release a pleasant aroma onto the beach. You inhale deeply and lean further into Yeosang, humming happily when one of his hands reaches out to scratch along your scalp. 

Head scratches have become one of your weaknesses, you suppose. All it takes is for one of them to run their nails along your head and you’ll sink into their embrace with a happy sigh and mushy bones. 

When Mingi is satisfied with the roar of the campfire, he and Seonghwa press kisses to Yeosang’s hair and brush fingers over your hairline as they pace back towards the shore. 

A harmonious shout of glee leaves San’s lips as Jongho tackles him into the shallow surf, and there’s an uproar of laughter from amongst the boys. San shouts something along the lines of being cold and twists in the waves in an attempt to pin Jongho beneath him. Jongho, easily the strongest of the nine of you, maintains his place above San but spits salt water out of his mouth in surprise when his partner douses him with a splash. In revenge, Jongho prepares to dunk San’s head beneath the water, only to be tackled into the sea by Yunho. The youngest lets out a squawk of surprise as he sinks into the water and the laughter begins again. 

You turn your head towards Yeosang, resting your cheek against his knee and looking up at him with your one eye. You nudge him gently with your knuckles, drawing his attention to you. 

“Are you going to join them?” 

The honey-haired healer barely catches your question over the cacophony in the surf, but he smiles at the sound of your voice. He slides a hand deeper into your hair and scratches against the nape of your neck, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth when your eye flutters shut briefly. 

His eyes, chocolate brown and gleaming with the flicker of flames before you, are warm and strong. They look down at you like you’re the only thing he sees – the only thing he wants to see. 

It’s familiar. This moment is too. 

Shivering gently from the weight of his gaze and bones feeling mushy and warm, you look up at Yeosang and wait patiently for his answer. 

“No, not yet,” he whispers in return, expression soft and eyes tender. “I’m very happy where I am right now.” 

You inhale deeply through your nose, recalling when he spoke the same words so long ago. The exhale that shudders through your lungs is accompanied by the sound of Yeosang’s deep, honey-sweet voice. 

“I‘m happy here with you.” 

He finally has the courage to say it. 

You look away from Yeosang so he doesn’t see the water welling in your lone eye. The stroke of thanks you brush across his skin is enough to let him know what you mean. The swell of electricity zinging beneath your skin leaves you breathless and you lean into Yeosang’s legs to combat the shift in emotion. 

The healer hums sweetly in response, unable to look away from you. He examines you as you watch his partners, lifting his head when another uproar of laughter erupts when Hongjoong overpowers Wooyoung in whatever game they’re playing in the waves. 

But when you glance back at Yeosang shyly, you see it. 

You see the way he looks at you now. 

With stars in his gaze and affection glimmering in the shine of his irises, you see the way Yeosang’s features melt so sweetly as he watches you. He looks at you the way he looks at them; like he’s staring at his very heart and soul – like there’s nothing else in the world he’d rather gaze upon than your face warmed by the flicker of roaring flames and your one eye finally staring back into his. No apprehension, this time. No fear or confusion or worry or an amalgamation of all of them together. You just… look back at him. 

Just like how he looks at you. 

When Seonghwa and Mingi rejoin the parade, kicking up salt water and spinning through the shallows, the boys cheer gleefully and begin to dance. It’s chaotic and a mess of stumbling and laughter, but it’s dancing nonetheless. The sound of their joy is infectious and spreads along the beach until it reaches you and Yeosang.

But he’s not listening to them. He’s listening to you. His ears are trained on the sound that erupts from his feet, bubbling from your lips in a noise he’s been praying to hear. 

Laughter. 

You’re laughing. 

There’s this bright, heart-stopping smile spread across your lips as you look up at Yeosang and listen to your family dance on the beach. Your shoulders shake softly with the movement of your laughter, and Yeosang can feel the vibrations of your chest pressed against his leg. It starts as a muffled giggle, barely concealed by your smile, but it deepens into a hearty laugh from deep in your belly. 

He cannot tear his eyes from you. 

You laugh. 

You laugh and you look up at him with stars in your eyes and his heart in your hands, and it takes every fiber of his strength not to lean forward and drown himself in the taste of your lips. It’s all he wants – all he needs, he swears it. One taste of your lips would sate him for life, even though he knows he’d never be able to tear himself away again. 

When you lean upwards, grabbing ahold of his fingers and pulling them towards you, Yeosang’s mouth parts to suck in a breath. 

You kiss his fingers. 

By the Gods, maybe that was a lie. One kiss would never be enough to sate him – there would never be enough of your touch or your kisses that could ever appease his soul. Even if he were immortal and your paths intertwined until the last of the stars burned from the sky, not even then would he have enough of you. 

You laugh again, grinning up at Yeosang with a toothy smile and the corner of your mouth digging into your mask. If he wasn’t already sitting, he swears he would drop to his knees at your side. 

He loves it – the sounds of your laughter. No matter how raw or croaked the sound is, he adores it. The sound of your voice once made his heart race with glee, but this… This is different. 

It’s so much more. 

This is joy. Unbridled and unashamed and so clearly you. It’s your laughter, your glee, your happiness that sinks beneath his sin and lights his nerves on fire. It’s your smile and your giggles that make his heart swell. Yeosang adores it. He adores you. 

He cannot help the way he slides off the driftwood log and into the sand at your side. Yeosang is pulling you into his chest before you can question his actions. He wraps an arm around your shoulders and pulls your head into his neck, pressing you as tight to his chest as he possibly can. 

“You’re laughing…” he whispers as he huffs in disbelief. “Bug! You’re laughing!” 

The second time Yeosang utters the phrase, it’s shouted cheerfully as he squeezes you tight into his chest. His heart thumps brazenly beneath his ribs, and he can feel the pulse of yours against his own. You giggle again, wiggling to readjust yourself as you sink into the honey of his embrace. Yeosang’s heart trills excitedly again. 

Yunho’s head darts upwards from the beach, startled by Yeosang’s call. 

“What?” 

San hears Yunho’s whispered disbelief and stands from the surf, attention drawn over towards you and Yeosang. “What did he just say?” 

“It’s Bug,” Hongjoong answers, standing behind Yunho with his eyes blown wide. His heart stutters once in his chest as he takes in the sight of your shoulders shaking gently with your giggles. He can’t hear the sound of them, but Gods does he wish he could. “Bug’s laughing.” 

“Holy shit…” 

Yunho takes off from the beach without another word. He doesn’t even hear who curses.

Sand kicks up from his feet as he sprints towards you and Yeosang with his heart in his throat and a watery grin on his lips. He doesn’t even need to turn around to know that San is the one on his heels. Yunho knows the sound of San’s muffled sobs just as well as he knows the beat of his heart. Wooyoung is not far behind, a bubble of laughter leaving his lips and a chain missing from his wrist. Nothing binds him to that place anymore. You set him free. 

Hongjoong and Mingi chase after the others, and the Captain manages to get some revenge for the day before as he shoves his guard into the surf on the way. Hongjoong’s mirthful chuckles as Mingi shouts are heard when Jongho pulls Seonghwa behind him, urging the archer to move faster. 

“Bug!” 

Your head pulls from Yeosang’s neck, that toothy grin still on your face just as Yunho collides with you and the honey-haired healer. The two of you sway as Yunho’s weight sinks into your figures, but Yeosang sets an arm down into the sand to support you. The black and white strands of San and Wooyoung’s hair drip with salt water as they throw themselves onto Yunho’s lap with a shout. Mingi follows just after, likely having passed Hongjoong on the beach with the length of his strides. He shakes his wet hair as he clings onto Yunho’s back and Wooyoung complains despite the fact that he’s already soaking wet. The giggly sound of Mingi’s laughter makes you chuckle again.

You laugh, as if it’s as easy as breathing. 

Yeosang watches, his eyes welling with happy tears as he continues to cling onto you with one hand. He watches you giggle and the others pile into your space and listens to his new favorite sound. 

Gods, he adores you. He adores them – this family. 

Yunho is crying, his lip wobbling as he buries his head into your hair. He’s at your back, chest shaking with the sound of his watery sobs. 

“Tiny…” he cries, but it’s a happy weep. You reach around to cling onto one of his hands. Yunho squeezes you tight, stealing the air right from your lungs, but you don’t need it. You would happily breathe in the pure euphoria of this moment instead. “Tiny, you’re laughing.” 

San buries his wet hair into your lap with a joyful sound and the giggles commence again. The healer’s heart throbs so strongly but so pleasantly he thinks it will burst. You have a laugh that makes others laugh with you. Just like Wooyoung, he realizes. 

Your other hand drops from Yeosang’s back to brush through San’s hair once and the healer looks up at you with glimmering half-moon eyes and a dimple poking out of his cheek. You allow your finger to poke the sweet little spot this time. His cheek muscles ache from how big his smile is. San nuzzles closer to your stomach and you let yourself shiver pleasantly, far too happy to deny yourself the joy of this moment. 

You’re pretty, San thinks to himself. So pretty. Especially when you laugh. 

Wooyoung melts into Hongjoong’s side and the Captain wraps an arm around his shoulder. They stand just behind Yunho, burying their happy tears into each other as Seonghwa pulls them close. Mingi and Jongho sink into the sand behind Yunho and pull each other tight. The taller guard squeezes his eyes shut and presses his lips into Jongho’s forehead, desperately hoping all his adoration is conveyed through the kiss. Jongho reaches out to squeeze Yunho’s shoulder and rests his weight against his elder’s back. 

“I know,” you finally whisper into the space that separates you and Yunho. “I’m happy.” 

One hand lifts to pull the mask away from your face. Without a moment’s hesitation, your nimble fingers detangle the knot from behind you, and you drop the obsidian mask into the sand. A hand wraps around your fingers when you finally let it go. Someone draws a line along the length of your left ring finger and twines their fingers with your own. They squeeze three times. 

You repeat the gesture, tracing a finger down the fourth finger on their left hand, right over the thin, dark band you know is tattooed there. You squeeze their hand three times. This sign needs no translation. 

You open both eyes. 

“I’m so happy.” 

bonus:

stranger: so who would you choose; ateez or–

reader: ateez.

stranger: you didn't even let me finish, ateez or–

reader, not missing a beat: ateez. I choose ateez.

a/n: This currently takes place sometime after the main storyline (probably xD) so it accounts for the boys knowing parts of Bug’s past (not revealed but it’s mentioned they know). For now, I won't consider these oneshots canon simply because I won’t know where it fits in the timeline HAHA xD this is essentially just a little bit of fluffy comfort for those who have been missing Bug and the boys! I’m catching up on their story but I hope you enjoy this filler for now <33 ALSO disclaimer, don’t pick stuff out of tide pools! my marine biologist family is screaming at me for including that xD just leave the creatures alone in their habitats!

sorry if bug seems a little ooc here! Loren and I have decided that bug goes from black cat energy to golden retriever after enough time with atz :’))) This is supposed to take place sometime in the future where she’s healed a little more and is a little more curious and open. There are a lot of references to things that have yet to happen in ltm so this is kind of a teaser for those xD 

also shoutout to the loml @eightmakesonebraincell for the majority of the ideas in this :D she's a real one xD

taglist: *If you don't see your name on this taglist, you may have been removed if your tag doesn't work :( let me know if you don't see your name and I'll try to see what we can do to fix it :D

@verseoks @smallfrye @istgcyj @rensunjun @flowrsforfun @justchaoticwhispers @gayliljoong @http-lovelyknow @kpopnightingale @rielleluvs @queentiti72 @paralumanniluna @chittaphonstar @dear-dreamie @bangtanxberm @havetaeminforbreakfast @knucklesdeepmingi @pingyu-in-wonderland @5sos-wdw @atzcoke @ddeonghwva @sophxom @khjcoo @sunukissed @becauseiloveyunho @atinymonbebestay @goldenstarmermaid @simplyaghostsworld @multifandomizer @yeosangs-left-ass-cheek @revehosh @mysticfire0435 @side-angel @taestrwbrry @billboard-singer @jenseok17 @parkthothwa8 @jcngh0-hq @dream-in-progress @dees-writing-corner @frankenstein852 @darkdayelixer @ateezkeepmysoul @maruskz @ahhhhhhhhhghh @honeyhotteoks @simeonswhore @jxxngieteez

#ateez x reader #like the moon #poly!ateez x reader #poly ateez #ot8 x reader #ateez au #ateez x oc #poly ateez x reader #ateez angst #ateez fluff #ateez x female reader #kim hongjoong x reader #park seonghwa x reader #yunho x reader #kang yeosang x reader #mingi x reader #choi san x reader #wooyoung x reader #jongho x reader #ot8 ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez imagine #ateez fanfic #woosan x reader

[thelargefrye]

Hi! ~ What do you think how ateez reacts watching EXILE HER kissing/bed scene in her first ever acting project 🤭😂

ATEEZ REACTS TO YOUR KISSING SCENE IN A DRAMA ... reaction ( 18+ )

pairing : idol!ateez x idol!f!reader

genre : bullet-point style, reaction, exile her au, idol au, comedy, fluff, kind of spicy (but nothing really happens, just implied)

word count : 2k

warnings : some language, mentions of making-out / intimate scenes / fake blood (these are all alluded to in the drama)

note : tried to keep the members all at the same length lol. also, i made this her second acting project which i will make a post about at a later date, so just a heads up lol

honorary tag : @sanjoongie

context on drama: it trended on different platforms for being a number of reasons but one of them is because of the intimate scenes that are in it between you and your co-star, park jihoon. this is ateez's reactions when they watch it and see all those different scenes.

HONGJOONG

hongjoong was caught off-guard immediately with the first scene in the FIRST episode

man was SHOOK with how you and your co-star were making out, camera zooming in on you both as you kiss and then panning as jihoon's hands trailed down your body

he was getting flashbacks to when you make-out and he does the exact same things

so of course he ended up imagining himself in the scene with you

what it would be like to shoot something like this with you

by the end of the scene he was completely jealous of your co-star because he wanted to do something like this with you

like the image of you kissing would be burned into his eyelids and he HATED IT

def didn't help how excited you were to watch your drama with him and others

mainly because you knew these scenes were here and when he turned to look at you at some point during the episode

he found you already staring at him, like you were watching his reactions

and he immediately regrets agreeing to watch it with you because he knows you were enjoying watching him suffer like this

so he tried to hide his jealousy at times but he couldn't help but get absorbed into the story of your character

so then by the end of it, he found himself more intrigued than jealous

but we all know he was still jealous at least on the inside

SEONGHWA

when you told seonghwa that this drama would be more mature he thought it meant something in the sense of gore and action

which it had that but he was completely caught off guard with some of more intense scenes

and not to mention the ones where you and your co-star were a little too intimate for him not to feel at least a little jealous

but seonghwa had to remind himself that it was all fake and that you were cuddled up next to him in his bed

he had promised to watch it with you when him and the others finished their tour and as hard as it was to avoid the drama

he managed to do it, completely avoiding any and everything about it

even when the other members watched it, he would ignore them when they talked about

and honestly, the really intimate scenes didn't get to him as much as the softer moments did

when you would caress and hold jihoon close to you or when you would kiss him

and especially during the "high school flashbacks" would get him the most he would feel both jealous AND emotional because of how heartbreaking they were

at one point you would look over to seonghwa tearing up at some of the softer moments

"its just so heartbreaking" he would say when you ask him what was wrong before fulling crying and having you instantly comfort him

YUNHO

he was immediately interested when he seen your drama trending on different social media

what also caught his eye was clips about one scene floating around on tiktok and twitter

a lot of people calling it "the bathroom scene" which only got him more curious

so when he was doing nothing but laying in bed one night after a concert, he remembered how everyone had been going crazy over the scene

and curiosity got the better of him and he watched just that scene

which... probably wasn't greatest idea but it was whatever he told himself

he would watch this 'infamous' scene now and then the rest of it later with one of the others or even with you

so he watched the scene and immediately felt a swing of different emotions

from how turned on he was because of how you looked extremely hot covered in blood and angry

to feeling uneasy when he watched you caress your co-star like how you would him or one of the others

to jealous when it then lead to you and your co-star making out and jihoon basically grinding against you and how you made those sounds that were only reserved for him and your other lovers

and then finally he came to regret the whole thing having let his curiosity get the better of him

and so when he finally sat down and watched it with mingi, he felt all those emotions come at him once more

YEOSANG

if yeosang felt jealous then he was really good at hiding it

he remembers you telling him and others about how this drama was on the more... mature side

which he didn't mind, he knew that it was something you were excited about and it was an opportunity for you career

so why wouldn't he be supportive of it?

annnnnnnnnnnnd then the drama came out and it was the internet exploded

he was seeing how fans were reacting to it and it only made him curious about it

even atiny were asking him about it and what he thought when he would go live

"have i watched y/nnie's drama? not yet but i've seen people talk about it. is it good?" he would ask and watch the comments flood with mix things

the usual yes and no comments: "watch it! its really good!!" "some scenes are hard to watch ngl..."

and then there were the ones that caught his eye: "you'll get jealous if you watch it."

"why would i be jealous?"

and then they would say: "y/n and jihoon are too sexy in some of it."

which obviously made him more curious about it and so he decided to watch it

and as he watched he couldn't help but feel something as he watched you and co-star kiss repeatedly, each one getting more and more heated than the last one

and then he finished it.

so... if kang yeosang was jealous then he was really really good at hiding it

SAN

san was excited for you when you told him and others about your new drama

so he was prepared to watch it when it came out because he wanted to be a supportive boyfriend

he remembers asking atiny about the drama during a live right after it was released

and like yeosang the comments came in and were mixed with all sorts of things

a lot of atiny telling him it was good but some scenes were very mature and some just outright telling him not to watch because of those mature things

and then he ended up watching it anyways with wooyoung one night while on tour

and he was definitely jealous about jihoon, your co-star

was shocked at how intimate the two of you would be in some scenes

he remembers actually gasping at one scene because your whole back was on display to the camera and while he knew you were actually fully naked – it still took him by surprise

also like seonghwa some of the softer scenes would hit hard and reminded him and you two when he would hold you or when you would hold him

after he finished it, he went on live the next day and brought it up

"i finished y/n's drama last night," he began remembering all the scenes that stood out to him the most

he tried his best to contain his jealousy, not wanting to show it camera

"i liked it a lot, definitely not something i would have imagined y/n in," he adds trying to remain calm as the image of your naked back flashed into his mind "but i think she did a really good job in it"

MINGI

this man was SCANDALIZED

he was so shocked throughout the entire thing as him and yunho watched

yunho even threatened to turn it off at one point if he kept gasping at every scene

"i can't help it! its just so interesting!" he would say, defending himself

and then the bathroom scene happened and he was FLOORED like he was so shocked by the whole thing

mingi was so invested into the story that he didn't even have time to think about being jealous

however when him and yunho were taking a break between episodes that's when he noticed yunho was getting jealous

and of course mingi used that to tease yunho because the rapper knew how much the dancer was whipped for you

and then after they finished the drama mingi was so heartbroken because it was over

he ended up watching it again by himself at a few months later

and it was during the re-watch that he was noticing things happening in the story and how like a lot of the others, your intimate moments reminded him of you two

but again, mingi wouldn't be jealous because he knew that you loved him and the others

and even with fans shipping you and your co-star, mingi knew that he didn't have to worry about your feelings

anyways, mingi best boy

WOOYOUNG

despite how he acts most of the time

wooyoung doesn’t get easily jealous

at least in a serious way

he’s confident in his relationship and knows that he has nothing to ever worry about

especially when it comes to you or the others acting in a drama that involves romance

so when he heard about the intimate scenes in your newest drama, wooyoung was immediately interested in it

and so when him and some of the others watched it together one night... to say he wasn't surprised would be a lie

but to say he wasn't turned on by some of the scenes would also be a lie

he thought you looked hot, plain and simple

and watching you show a bunch of different emotions on camera, well... it kind of turned him on

some of the scenes were definitely more intense than what he was expecting

but then when it got intimate or slightly romantic between you and jihoon then that's when it made his stomach do all sort of flips

like hongjoong he found himself imagining him in your co-star's place and thinking back to all the times you two would be intimate

it honestly kind of made him miss you more than he already did and he would end up calling you so he could see you outside of your drama

after he finished, he would go and brag about how his "best friend was a famous actress" and talking about how he loved the drama

he also kind of just... rubbing it in that he was close to you while others weren't

you know, just wooyoung things

even telling atiny to watch it (if they were old enough)

JONGHO

jongho had heard all about the drama like yunho had

so he was aware of some of the scenes the drama had to offer

but unlike yunho, he didn't watch those specific clips before the whole and instead experienced them all together

and jongho wasn't jealous per say, but he was shocked at some of the scenes

he was honestly glad he decided to watch the drama by himself because he found himself flustered at most if not all the intimate scenes that were shown

just like hongjoong and wooyoung, jongho would also imagine himself in those scenes with you

but not because he was jealous of your co-star

BUT because watching those scenes made him miss you while him and the others were on tour

HOWEVER

seeing how popularly it was and how loved you and jihoon were becoming to the internet

it wasn't the scenes in the drama that would necessarily make him jealous but the interview you and your co-star would do

seeing fans go crazy over the two of you like you were an actual couple... it made him feel weird inside

so you best believe that when he sees you again, you're gonna have the giant teddy bear cuddling up with you

and of course you wouldn't question his sudden need for cuddles and affection, only giving it to him

tag list : @frankenstein852 @watamotee33 @kawennote09 @mixling-blog @marahleiwhen @kpopnightingale @harry-the-pottypus @pyeonghongrie @sanniesbum @marvelahsobx @khjcoo @mysticfire0435 @exfolitae @dementedaly @simeonswhore @moonm1st @nvmbheart @spooo00oky @frgogh @sookacc @seongwin @burnsmepls @ad0rechuu @tunaasan @northerngalxy @silverpixiedust23 @cheesekimchi @confusedmoonchild777 @mjyungi @innieontop @iweirdthingsblog @s0obinluvr @worcesheshestershiresauce @moonlightgrleric @wineyoungie @jeongwangjessmina @lemineso

network : @cultofdionysusnet @cromernet

#exile her. #cultofdionysusnet #cromernet #kdiarynet #ateez x reader #poly ateez x reader #ateez blurbs #ateez reactions #ateez imagines #idol!reader #idol oc #ateez ninth member #ateez addition #ateez hongjoong x reader #ateez seonghwa x reader #ateez yunho x reader #ateez yeosang x reader #ateez san x reader #ateez mingi x reader #ateez wooyoung x reader #ateez jongho x reader

[bro-atz]

Irresistible

Gyuri seriously hates the CMO of her company, and the feeling seems to be mutual until one night after a company dinner, she gets involved with him in a way that she never in her wildest dream fathomed would ever happen.

San is the bane of her existence in every way possible— yet, he's irresistible.

pair: cmo!san/employee!oc

word count: 75k

content: smut, corporation!au, enemies to lovers, forbidden love

author's note: yes i know gyuri is the same oc as 1024ub but cut me some slack it's hard coming up with new names/characters why do you think i write ffs LMAO

network: @cromernet

apply here to be part of the taglist!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT nsfw chapters in red

chapter one: why do you hate each other so much?

chapter two: smoking causes cancer

chapter three: who was it?

chapter four: let's pretend nothing happened

chapter five: rolling thunder hear my yelps

chapter six: how did i end up here?

chapter seven: why did you get out of his car?

chapter eight: a fucking nightmare

chapter nine: happy?

chapter ten: we need to stop waking up like this

chapter eleven: chain smoking

chapter twelve: there's no such thing as dibs

chapter thirteen: let's get the story straight

chapter fourteen: production problems

chapter fifteen: going with the flow

chapter sixteen: a really nice fucking dinner

chapter seventeen: bosses and bruises

chapter eighteen: and burns

chapter nineteen: this isn't just bad luck anymore, is it?

chapter twenty: white lily

chapter twenty-one: if that's what you want

chapter twenty-two: i really can't stay away anymore

chapter twenty-three: this... is love...

chapter twenty-four: the betrayal!

chapter twenty-five: i'm sorry...

chapter twenty-six: on the down low

chapter twenty-seven: this is why we can't have nice things

chapter twenty-eight: good riddance

chapter twenty-nine: bad and guilty

chapter thirty: how did you not know?

first chapter will be dropped march 1st chapters will be posted every thursday at 18:00 EST

#broatz #cromernet #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez san fanfiction #san x oc #hongjoong #seonghwa #yunho #yeosang #san #mingi #wooyoung #jongho #ateez college au #kim hongjoong #park seonghwa #jeong yunho #kang yeosang #choi san #song mingi #jung wooyoung #choi jongho #san smut #choi san smut #san x original character

[mi-rae07]

Park Seonghwa : Home

Pairing : Park Seonghwa (Ateez) and named character (Park Soojin) 

[Except they’re siblings]

________________

A/n : For a special friend of mine. 

_________________

Soojin : I really don't understand why I must get expelled while those other students get to remain in this school, principal.

Principal : are you talking back to me, miss park?

Soojin : I'm asking you a valid question-

The principal cut her off with a scoff as he harshly opened the door to his room, sitting down on his chair with a loud thud. Soojin let out a breath and sat on the chair oppsite the principal's, inspecting the small cut on her upper left arm.

Principal : I've called your brother.

Soojin's eyes widened, quickly letting go of her arm before looking up at the principal with alarmed eyes

Soojin : what? Why! Sir, if I'm going to get expelled anyway, then why must you call my brother-

Principal : because you have no parents. And he is your guardian.

Soojin let out a breath, falling back against her chair as she muttered under her breath

Soojin : this is so stupid.

Principal : what did you just say?

Soojin : that this is stupid. What, are you going to expel me again?

The principal glared at soojin, making her fold her arms as she looked away in dismay. The worst had happened, her older brother had been summonded to talk to the principal about her expulsion. So now not only was she going to have to face embarassment from the students in school, she was also going to have to face park seonghwa's wrath.

She was truly doomed.

Soojin looked up as the door to the principal's room burst open, revealing a panting seonghwa. As soon as his eyes landed on soojin's, it turned to a glare, making her look away.

Principal : mr park, hello.

Seonghwa bowed and entered the room, sitting next to soojin slowly. She didn't dare look him in the eye.

Seonghwa : has something happened, sir?

Principal : very much so. Your ward has gotten into a fight with 3 other students in this school, breaking one of the boy's arm, another boy's nose and the girl's leg.

Seonghwa's eyes widened, a small gasp leaving his lips as he looked at soojin. Her head remained lowered, her eyes trained on her skirt that was filled with mud and dirt.

Seonghwa : sir-

Principal : she's getting expelled.

Seonghwa : no, please. I…I can pay you money, or anything else that is required. If you expel her from this school, it would be hard for her to get in anywhere else.

Principal : and that is the whole point, mr park. Do you not realize how serious the situation is?

Seonghwa let out a breath, his hands clenching on his sides as he asked

Seonghwa : and her grades?

Principal : equally worse. She's never been an ideal student, mr park. Failing most of her classes and barely passing the others. She has no talent of any sort either. Has not participated in any extra curricular activities and is at the lowest rank in studies as well. But we still kept her, believing someday she would break open her shell. But now she's caused her fellow students harm. We cannot keep her here any longer, I'm afraid.

Seonghwa : there is no hope, then.

Principal : none.

Seonghwa sighed and stood up, bowing down before saying

Seonghwa : I apologize sincerely on her behalf, sir. And I will apologize to the harmed students as well on my way out.

Soojin hated how seonghwa had to apologize for something that wasn't even her fault to begin with. The principal nodded, a grim look on his face.

Seonghwa : get up, park soojin.

Soojin sighed and got up, not bothering to even look at the principal as she walked out of his room with her brother by her side. As she walked through the hallways, the students stared at her in pure scrutiny, some of them swooning over seonghwa in the process. But his face remained cold.

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : do not utter a word.

Soojin sighed and lowered her head, deciding that it would be a bad idea to talk to seonghwa when he was this angry. They soon walked into the infirmary, seonghwa's eyes widening at the sight of the three kids lying on three different beds with bandages around them. Soojin had a pleased look on her face.

Seonghwa : I am soojin's older brother, park seonghwa. I wish to apologize for the deeds that my sister has done today.

The parents did not utter a word, each of them looking furious. Seonghwa bowed down in front of them, motioning soojin to do the same with angry ushering eyes. She rolled her eyes and bowed down as well, mumbling a small apology. Seonghwa soon handed over money to each parent from his purse, telling them it was for the hospital fee.

And soon enough seonghwa and soojin were on their way back home in his car, still not having exchanged a single word.

Soojin : am I not even allowed to explain?

Seonghwa : explain why you beat up some kids, soojin?

Soojin : well, that must have a reason too, would it not?

Seonghwa : park soojin, do you realize that we are struggling?

Soojin looked away, her hands folded in her lap as seonghwa drove past the school gates.

Seonghwa : we do not have parents, and I have to work 6 different jobs on a daily basis to so much as pay our bills and get us a proper meal. Do you think that comes easy to me?

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : all you had to do, was sit and fucking study! That is what I keep working so hard for! And you had to ruin the one thing that you're supposed to do, and wasted a shit ton of my money because YOU COULDN'T CONTROL YOURSELF!

Soojin : but they were bullying a kid, oppa. I couldn't just stand there-

Seonghwa : so you beat them instead?

Soojin let out a breath, looking away. He was being unfair. Anyone would have done the same thing soojin did today.

Seonghwa : you're being a brat, park soojin. All that I have done for you and this is how you repay me.

Soojin : stop, I don’t want to hear any of this any longer.

Seonghwa : are you being serious? SOOJIN-

Soojin : I HAVE A HARD LIFE TOO SEONGHWA!

Seonghwa paused at her outburst, turning to look at soojin who scoffed and said

Soojin : you think I have it any easier? High school isn't easy, oppa. And the fact that everyone knows I'm poor, isn't really easy either. Not being smart enough, or talented enough IS NOT EASY! I got bullied throughout middle school because of where I came from. So then how can you expect me to just sit and watch while someone does the same thing another person did to me to a fellow student?

Seonghwa : you…you were bullied?

Seonghwa stopped the car right in front of their apartment.

Soojin : yes, but you wouldn't know, would you? You don’t even have time to have a single meal with me. You're right, I'm an orphan. But you know what else I am? A useless piece of shit who feels like I have no one in this world. That's how you make me feel, oppa.

Before seonghwa could open his mouth soojin opened the car door and walked to the lobby of their apartment, tears streaming down her cheeks.

____________________________

10 years ago :

Seonghwa was now sitting outside the hospital room where his parent's bodies were kept under the sheets, tears streaming down his cheeks as small whimpers wrecked his body. They had been declared dead an hour ago, and seonghwa still couldn't wrap his head around the entire incident.

His parents, dead. All because of a debt they were unable to pay. His family had owned a bank, and his father had apparently taken a huge loan that had backfired. All his assets were gone now, leaving seonghwa with nothing, but worry and despair. And maybe a few hundred dollars from his own savings. And he knew none of his relatives would help seonghwa, they all hated his father equally.

Seonghwa was all alone in this world now.

??? : oppa!

Seonghwa looked to the side as the sight of his younger sister came into his view, a worried look on her small chubby face. Seonghwa quickly wiped his tears away, regaining his posture as he smiled and bent down on the ground, opening his arms for her. Soojin ran up to him, letting go of her aunt's hand as she crashed into seonghwa's arms. Seonghwa inhaled deeply and wrapped his arms around her small body, bringing her close to him.

Soojin : e-eomma and appa?

Seonghwa shut his eyes tightly.

Seonghwa : they're gone.

Soojin : so…so then the both of us?

Seonghwa : well, we remain, soojin-ah. We're going to have to live without them from now.

Seonghwa looked up as his aunt and uncle walked closer to him, looking down at him in pity. He hated pity.

Aunt : seonghwa-ya, what are you going to do now? Shall we admit the both of you into an orphanage-

Seonghwa : no. no orphanages, and no foster care. I will take care of soojin from now.

Uncle : but you're still in school, seonghwa.

Seonghwa's eyes hardened, a fierce look in his eyes as he held his sister close to him protectively

Seonghwa : I will manage my own life, uncle. You need not worry. Maybe if you'd shown this same care and worry when my parents were in debt, none of this would've happened.

The two adults in front of him held regret in their eyes, but that was of no use to seonghwa now. And so he lifted soojin up in his arms, her one arm wrapping around his neck as seonghwa said

Seonghwa : we do not need your help any longer. What comes to us now, I will face it alone. And as for soojin.

Seonghwa looked at his sister who was staring at him with wide teary eyes, seonghwa giving her a small comforting smile as he declared

Seonghwa : I will raise her now.

______________________________

A few days later :

Seonghwa was now sitting along with soojin in front of their parent's graves, both of them in black attire. Soojin had tears streaming down her eyes, while seonghwa's eyes were now hard and cold. As it had been since he knew the truth.

Soojin : what will happen to us now, oppa?

Seonghwa had warded off the few relatives that had come to him out of pity, asking whether he needed their help. He did not, he wouldn't accept any of their help even if he was this close to dying. He hated everyone in this world, everyone except for his little sister.

Seonghwa : nothing's going to happen to us, soojin-ah. We're going to be fine.

Soojin : really?

Seonghwa : mhmm. You'll go to school, and I'll work to provide food and clothes.

Soojin : don't you have to go to school, then?

Seonghwa : not really, no. school won't pay any of our bills.

Seonghwa turned to face soojin, taking both her hands in his as he bent down to face her

Seonghwa : I'm going to be your guardian now, soojin-ah. Do you know what that means?

Soojin shook her head, a small pout on her lips.

Seonghwa : that means you can tell me anything now. Anything that bothers you, anything that you want, anything you wish to do, whatever. I'm going to make everything happen for you, no matter what.

Soojin stared at seonghwa, her lips pressed together. Seonghwa smiled and wiped her tears before saying

Seonghwa : all you have to do is stay happy and healthy for me. Study well, and do what you have to do in school. Oppa will handle the rest.

Soojin nodded, a small smile on her lips now. Seonghwa held his pinky out for her before saying

Seonghwa : promise me, then. That you will study hard and prove everyone wrong one day.

Soojin nodded and connected her pinky with her brother's, the wind blowing on them both as the flowers kept on their parent's grave fluttered.

Soojin : I promise.

Seonghwa smiled and ruffled her hair before standing up, holding soojin's small hand in his large ones.

Seonghwa : let's go home.

And a 13 year old seonghwa led his little sister back to their new home, a much poorer and smaller version of their old house. But neither of them cared, because for them, home was where they were both together.

And that was also the day seonghwa had decided on something, he was going to protect his little sister at all costs. And soojin's little mind had decided too, that she was going to make her brother proud someday.

_______________________________

Present time :

Seonghwa entered his apartment after another long day at work, a flower boquet in his hands. He knew how much his sister loved these, and he felt unhappy every time he realized it was too expensive for him to afford. But today was different, he could care less if this one boquet drained his wallet off of a month's rent.

He was going to find a way out of that too, as he always have been for the past few years.

Seonghwa could hear small noises from inside soojin's room as he walked towards it with tired steps. His eyes landed on soojin as soon as he opened the door, an earphone plugged into both her ears as she laid on the floor with her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling above her.

Seonghwa sighed, keeping the boquet aside before walking up to soojin. She took his earphones off as soon as she saw him, sitting up straight with confused eyes.

Soojin : what are you doing here?

Seonghwa : I'm going to be with my sister for a while, what else?

Soojin looked away, keeping her half shattered phone away. Soojin knew her brother went for work at 6am and came back only at 2pm. She didn't understand why he was already home when it was only 9pm.

Soojin : don't you have work?

Seonghwa : I ditched it for you tonight.

He hoped they didn’t fire him.

Soojin : oppa-

Seonghwa : you told me I never even have a meal with you, right? I wanted to change that tonight.

Soojin : you don’t have to do such things for me.

Seonghwa : yes I do, I'm your older brother.

Soojin sighed, fumbling with her hands as she looked away. Seonghwa looked on the floor, his eyes lowered as he muttered

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I'm not enough.

Soojin's head shot up at that. Did he really think that way now?

Soojin : what?

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I can't give you the things you deserve, soojin-ah. Our parents…they loved you, a lot. You were their treasure ever since you were born. They told me they were going to give you the world. The best of dresses, the best of education, the best of everything. And they told me that no matter what, if anything happens to them someday, then I were to do that for you. Give their daughter the entire world.

Soojin felt tears fill up her eyes. She had only been 6 years old when her parents had died in a car crash. But seonghwa had only been 13 as well.

Soojin : oppa you-

Seonghwa : but I have failed. Forget the world, I can't even give you proper food everyday.

Soojin stared at her brother, tears visible in his eyes. And seonghwa never cried in front of her.

Seonghwa : I'm sorry I failed our parents, soojin. And I'm sorry I failed you as a brother. I should have studied harder, worked harder, but I…I failed.

Soojin shook her head desperately, wrapping her arms around her brother before bringing him close. Seonghwa cried onto her shoulders, clutching the back of her dress in his hands as he shut his eyes tightly.

Soojin : don't you dare say that. You've given me the best you can, oppa. And that's all that I ever need. I don't care about pretty dresses or pretty houses, I just want a happy, peaceful life. And you provide me that.

Seonghwa cried harder at her words, tears streaming down soojin's cheeks as well. She hated how seonghwa thought of himself.

Soojin : you're the best brother anyone could ask for. No one in this world could ever do all the things that you've done for me. You sacrifice your happiness and your health to make my life comfortable and I could never thank you enough for any of that. You're everything to me, oppa, you're my entire fucking world.

Seonghwa had never heard words like that from anyone, not even from his own parents.

Soojin : I'm going to study hard from now, oppa. And one day, when I make enough money, I'm going to give you, the world. If I was our parents' princess, you were their prince. And you deserve everything a prince would get. All the work that you do for me now, I will pay it back to you someday. I promise.

Seonghwa smiled before whispering

Seonghwa : I don’t need anything back for any of this. Your happiness is more than enough.

Soojin sobbed at his words as seonghwa patted her back softly.

Soojin : I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hitting those kids. I shouldn't have-

Seonghwa : no, it's okay. Because honestly? I think they quite deserved it. But I was just too angry to tell you then.

Soojin chuckled as seonghwa pulled back with a smile and wiped her tears with the cuff of his shirt

Seonghwa : I never knew you were that strong to break people's bones, though. My little princess has grown up a lot, hasn't she?

Soojin giggled, looking up at her brother with literal stars in her eyes. God, the things they could do for each other.

Seonghwa : next time you see someone bullying someone, hit them back harder. Don't just break their nose, break a minimum of 4 bones, in the least.

Soojin : oppa!

Seonghwa : and if anyone says anything against that, I'll handle the rest for you.

Soojin chuckled, lacing her hands with seonghwa's.

Seonghwa : you work so hard every day, and I'll always be proud of that. Because you're everything to me, soojin-ah. I would give my life to protect yours.

Soojin : I love you too.

Seonghwa chuckled and patted her cheeks, nodding towards the boquet of Madonna lilies.

Seonghwa : I bought you lilies.

Soojin gasped as she rushed towards them, smelling the flowers with a huge smile on her face. This was all that seonghwa had wanted to see.

Seonghwa : they stand for healing. I saw the cut on your arm. And trust me, if it weren't for those parents in the infirmary, I would've broken a few more bones.

Soojin laughed, running her hands along the flowers as she whispered

Soojin : they're so pretty.

Seonghwa : you're prettier.

Says the man who was gawked by every single person who laid their eyes on him.

Soojin : ayy, look who's talking.

Seonghwa giggled, walking up to soojin and holding her hand in his

Seonghwa : shall we have dinner now, sister?

Soojin smiled, leaning forward and kissing seonghwa's cheek before saying

Soojin : that we shall, brother.

________________________________

#for my ella #seonghwa #park seonghwa #ateez seonghwa #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa au #seonghwa ff #seonghwa imagine #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa x oc #seonghwa x reader #ateez #ateez ff #ateez au #ateez imagine #ateez imagines #ateez angst #ateez fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop au #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #angst #ff #au #fluff

[kiwiraccoon]

Numb, Emptiness Chapter i

Ateez OT8 x OC

Summary: after witnessing the death of her family, her uncle sends her back to South Korea to live with the eight guys he had saved over the years. They seem to be almost, if not just, as mentally messed up as she is, and the goal is for her to help them and them to help her. Time heals, but it’s already been 11 years of suffering for her, can they really help?

overall notes: MDNI mental health: depression, anxiety, ocd, antisocial, agoraphobia, personality disorders, mental breakdowns. mentions and descriptions of gruesome deaths, gore. polygamy, shared female, suggestive, fluff, smut?, building relationships. THIS IS NOT MEANT FOR THE WEAK HEARTED OR UNDERAGE!! this not meant to depict real Ateez but an au, not about their real selves or real struggles, I took ideas from their real selves but again not meant to be negative towards them or anything against their image… THIS IS JUST MY MORBID MIND RUNNING WILD!

Word count: 2811

The building we drive up to resembles a small hotel, but the lack of cars and signs tells me this isn’t one. That and my uncle explaining everything to me on the flight overseas, from how he acquired this building to who all lives inside. “Welcome home honey.” My uncle says affectionately while reaching over to give my shoulder a squeeze, the man knows me better than I know myself and gives me just the reassurance I need just with a simple touch.

“Home.” I soon respond while taking my earbuds from their charging case to place in my ears as we exit the vehicle and start to unload my multiple bags. When we were packing I decided to leave the apartment as mine, just taking my favorite decorations and my necessities. It was my uncle's idea to leave a place for me to escape too if I just needed a break away from anything and everyone.

I lug two suitcases with bags on top behind me with my book bag hanging off my shoulder up towards the main entrance of the building behind my uncle. I felt comfort in knowing I wouldn’t just be living with eight strangers alone since my uncle did live in the separate building next to this one, at least he would show me around. “Let’s take all of this to your room first.” He says not bothering to wait for a response he knows he won’t receive as my mind is on high alert in the new surroundings. My eyes take note of everything in every room we walk past and where they are located, especially when we walk past the bedrooms that have name plates on them. Either to help me or because it made it easy to know their own rooms.

Reaching the last possible door on the left of the hall on the second floor I see an empty plate covered by a ripped piece of paper with my name quickly written on it. Maybe my uncle informed them I was coming over the phone. Inside the room I see simple decorations, the colors being black, white, and pops of light blue around, did he have them decorate my room?

As if he heard my thoughts, he speaks while setting the bags down and out of the way, “Seonghwa decorated the room for you, I told him the colors you usually go for.”

“Ah.” Once again my eyes dart around the room appreciating the desk, reading corner, and larger bed than I am used to. I meet my uncle’s eyes and give him a soft nod before following him out of my room and back down the hall to the first floor again. I notice quickly that the rooms are only on the second floor and the first floor is for recreational rooms like gaming or offices as well as a large living space and kitchen. Why they had offices I had no idea but my curiosity would have to wait until after the long awaited introductions.

When we walk into the living area I see eight guys sitting around the multiple couches, either on their phones or having small conversations. “Guys.” As soon as they hear my uncle's voice they all stop what they are doing and look up, some looking at me while the others only look at him. “This is Kai, my niece, and your new roommate. I hope Hongjoong filled you in on certain things.” When the words leave his mouth I feel a sense of anxiety rush through me at what he could have possibly told him. Seeing their reactions show nothing but agreement to his statement I wash the feeling away knowing it’s not worth it to feel that way if I can’t even express it. “If you would introduce yourselves, then I have to go to work.” 

For some reason I thought my uncle would be able to stay around for at least a little while, but I was stupid to believe that when he is one of the best detectives around. Out of the corner of my eyes I see someone stand, “Well, I’m Hongjoong.” His introduction is short and to the point, I can tell he will be hiding in the shadows more often than not. I can’t help but appreciate his forward wording and selfishly, his looks, all of them really are borderline perfect. Yet something about him screams leader, the person everyone listens to when my uncle isn’t around. He wastes no time in leaving the room and the rejection I feel bubbling in my chest starts to catch my attention, but to them I seem completely unfazed.

“Jongho.” His words sound forced, almost like he wasn’t even speaking himself but someone was controlling him. If looks could kill, I would be with my family back in America and six feet under with not one but multiple bullet holes. He is intimidating I’ve every way possible, his eyes, his stance, his build, and his lack of emotions besides the short smile he gives my uncle as he also leaves the room.

I focus on the music in my ears for the rest of the introductions, dissociating entirely as I can’t help but feel entirely unwelcome within my new home. “Kai.” I turn instantly to my uncle as he lays a hand on my shoulder. “I’m going to work now, if you need anything, text me.” I nod in his direction and watch as he grabs his things before leaving out of the main door we had only entered a few moments ago.

“What are you listening to?” Someone asks from behind me and I turn around slowly to just stare blankly at him, I refuse to be shown anymore distaste from this group. Meeting his eyes I show nothing but boredom on my face and leave the room to head back to my own space away from all of them.

“Wooyoung don’t take it to heart, she’s new here and not everyone made her feel welcome.” Someone else’s voice reaches my ears as I walk through the hallway, and now I know the only one who seemed interested in knowing even the smallest thing about me was Wooyoung. He probably only asked because he saw the headphones not because he actually wanted to know.

The second I enter my room I start to unpack all of my things, even if I don’t feel welcome here, I still live here. My music blasts in my ears leaving no room for any negative thoughts to break through my poorly built wall. Even when I get everything in place I sit in my reading corner with my eyes closed as the music bleeds through my being, grounding me to a surface of emptiness just like the emotions I show. Nothing shows through my skin, nothing but numb emotions that portray me as a shell of what I used to be. If my younger self could see me now, not even batting an eye at the death of the family I used to love with my entire being.

Knocks break through the sound waves coursing through my ears creating ripples of distraction to bring me out of my mind. I couldn’t express my gratitude for pulling me out of what was undoubtedly going to become a mental breakdown. I stand on solid feet to open my door and face the person who unknowingly just stopped my downfall. “Yes?” My monotone voice comes out as my eyes remain down to look at their feet, if they couldn’t look at me I won’t look at them.

“We have some lunch down in the kitchen if you want any.” The voice belongs to one I haven’t heard before causing my eyes to break their trance and look up towards the tall man taking up the entrance to my space. 

“Okay,” is all I say as we maintain eye contact, the first I’ve held in this entire building besides my uncle, and even then ours was only there for a short moment as he had things to do. He sends me a short and small smile before turning away and I wrack just brain for his name that I didn’t pay attention to earlier in the day. “Wait, I’m coming.” I walk into my room and grab my phone that remained on my chair and close my bedroom door behind me as I follow the taller man who now holds a natural smile on his face.

He leads the way in comfortable silence, either because he sees my headphones and thinks I can’t hear him or he has nothing to say, either way I’m grateful for his presence. Being around him provides another distraction for my brain as I spend my time taking in his actions, habits, and appearance. It is then I remember his name, “Mingi.” 

“Yeah?” I halt in my steps just as we reach the kitchen as I realize I said his name out loud. Little do I know a few pairs of eyes watch the interaction as none of them have heard me speak until this moment.

“Nothing.” I move through the room and grab myself a serving of food while simultaneously turning up the music in my ears to drown out anything anyone might say. As I go to the fridge to grab a drink a hand tries to reach for my headphone but before it can get close my free hand is gripping it at the wrist and turning to look into the eyes of the guy who tried to take it away. My dull eyes meet his curious yet mischievous ones. “What are you doing?” The sound of my voice again causes those same few eyes to look our way yet mine stay locked on his.

“What are you listening to?” He asks for the second time that day and it takes everything in my soul to not make a snarky comment.

My eyes switch between the two of his, trying to find any deception or mal intentions to his actions, but I find none. “Music.” I let go of his wrist and turn back to grab my water, not daring to look at any of the others within the room. The large smile on his face screams triumph in finally getting a response from me even if it was short and he leaves skipping away to his own food. His success is small but I can tell for him it feels larger than life itself and I try to remind myself that there are people in the world who don’t see me as a serial killer in the making.

“It drowns my thoughts.” I simply say before leaving back to my room with my food not even looking at anyone on my way out, the silence that follows let’s me know they all heard. 

“She talked!” I hear wooyoung yell in excitement and I know if I could I would be smiling to myself at his exclamation, he might just be someone I open up to easily if he doesn’t stop prying. 

My lunch is spent alone watching random videos trying to drown out the thoughts that want me to feel nothing even on the inside, those will never win. I have fought them for years not wanting my shell to be completely empty even if that meant I only knew I was there and no one else could see. Growing tired of seeing my empty dishes in the corner of my eye I leave the comfort of my room to wash the dishes and hopefully find where they belong on my own. 

Entering the kitchen I see one of the guys washing the dishes from the others, even going as far to wear gloves to maintain perfectly cleanliness. I wait patiently behind him to wash my own not wanting to be a bother more than I might already be. He turns around and doesn’t startle at finding my silent presence instead he reaches for the fragile pieces in my hands. “I can wash them.” I say, and I watch his reaction carefully to see if he will find my lack of tone to be rude or any way condescending.

“I don’t mind. I usually do the cleaning around here.” He responds with a smile on his face while taking the items from my hands not even waiting for my acceptance. It is in that moment I realize he is Seonghwa, my uncle informed me of every person before we made it to the building hoping to ease my discomfort around complete strangers. The thing about him is that he takes on a motherly role, cleaning the house, making sure everyone eats, and being that shoulder for the others to lean on. I remember when my uncle told this to me I made it a goal to also care for him as he probably spends most of his time caring for everyone else.

Remembering this I take a dish towel and some cleaning spray to wipe down the counters, the island, and even move to the dining area connected to clean off the massive table. No words or glances are exchanged in the moment, and I’m almost sure he doesn’t notice I even did so as he just leaves once the dishes are clean, dry and put away in their respective places. The moment of loneliness doesn’t last long as the tall man from before enters the space again when I am putting the cleaning materials away and making my way to my room.

My uncle informed me that when he first met Mingi, the boy was afraid of people and wanted nothing to do with being around others. I can understand the need for distance as my only interactions with people led to them believing I was a threat or I had something seriously wrong with me. I refuse to let him feel that way around me, even if my expressions and voice can’t soothe those possible feelings my words hopefully will. “Hi, Mingi.” I nod his way as I walk past him into the hall way to reach the living room, but I do notice the small smile that reaches his face at my acknowledgment.

“Kai,” he responds once he catches up to me this time holding two drinks which he extends one to me. A resemblance of a peace offering between two people who fear others and what they might think. I take the water with no hesitation and make my way to the small recliner in the corner of the room that happens to be next to a small bookcase. It is only us two in the room and Mingi takes his place in the identical chair next to mine, showing that he feels comfort in my presence and I can’t help but wish I could express the happiness I feel from this revelation.

“The music drowns your thoughts?” Mingi asks breaking the silence.

“There’s not a moment I don’t have music playing or something else to distract me when the music starts to fail.” I simply say keeping my eyes on the books reading their spines to see if one catches my eyes.

He hums in understanding, “I might just have to try that.” The second the words leave his lips I turn my head to look into his eyes and see the truth swirling around his sad looking eyes. I know how it feels to have your thoughts take over your entire being and rip away at your sanity like a deranged cat. 

My hand moves on its own and reaches to remove one earbud from my ear and subtly clean it against my clothes the best I can. “Here.” I reach my hand out towards him with the one earbud sitting in my palm to allow him to grab it if he wishes. Seeing his confusion I continue, “try it. If it doesn’t work I can show you my other methods.” Even though my words and my expressions show nothing but emptiness and boredom I can see he appreciates the gesture as he takes the small item from my hand to place in his ear.

The song Psycho Killer continues to play as soon as the device notices it is placed in an ear again and I feel my happiness for the song build inside myself. Certain lines always resonated with me and the fact so many people believed I was a psycho and could become a killer made this song feel more apart of myself than it was intended. Mingi starts to bob his head along to the music and I can see his tense shoulders relax as the invasion of the sound waves. “Wow,” is all he says before silence takes over our moment together and I turn back to the books.

#Ateez #Ateez x oc #Ateez fanfic #Ateez fic #Hongjoong #Hongjoong x oc #Hongjoong fanfic #Hongjoong fic #Seonghwa #Seonghwa x oc #Seonghwa fanfic #Seonghwa fic #Yunho #Yunho x oc #Yunho fanfic #Yunho fic #Yeosang #Yeosang x oc #Yeosang fanfic #Yeosang fic #San #San x oc #San fanfic #San fic #Mingi #Mingi x oc #Mingi fanfic #Mingi fic #Wooyoung #Wooyoung x oc

[smileydk]

Ace of Spades

Pairing: Criminal!Seonghwa x PoliceCaptain!Reader

Summary: Kim Jiwoo, a rookie Police Captain, is handed a case about “Ace of Spades”. Park Seonghwa. He’s a wanted criminal in the whole country and now it's Jiwoo's task to bring him in, but it doesn't go as planned. Instead she realizes how ridicolously good looking the dangerous man is. And she can't see how one man could possibly be that dangerous, or terrifying.

cw/tw: Guns, violence, harsh language, sexual jokes, might be more

Not proof read

- Ace of Spades: It is a symbol of power, authority and also death

As Jiwoo pulled up to the town square and spotted the man. He was clad in a black suit accented with gold details. He almost looked like a pirate, except the clown make up and the mad-man smile on his red lips.

Jiwoo got out of the car, sighing to herself as the other cop cars had left before they could even reach the town square. ''Greatest police force in the country they said''

She was mumbling to himself abou her force bing wusses as she approached the man with caution in her steps. She was sure he knew she was there.

He did.

Seonghwa cracked his neck loudly before he turned towards the woman. His mad smile grew even wider as he spotted her. ''Kim Jiwoo! I've heard a lot about you!''

''Only bad I hope'' She mumbled.

''Of course! I'm Park Seonghwa! Or you might know me as the "Ace of Spades". I shall greet you welcome to the force!''

Jiwoo chuckled to herself. At this exact moment the man seemed quite harmless. ''So you're the man the whole country fear? The one who scared of my entire force? I really can't see how a single man could be thar terrifying''

The man kept the psychotic smirk as a deep chuckle left his lips. ''Well, dollface, you'd be surprised what a single man could accomplish with the right motivation''

''Well, might not use the word pleasure, but it is an honor to meet the legendary "Ace of Spades", the one who makes my life a living hell through my superior officer. Now, what have you been up to?''

Seonghwa was intrigued by the woman. He'd never seen someone this confident around him.

He approached the girl and grabbed her jaw in a firm grip. He tilted her head from side to side as if he was inspecting her face. As if she was a porcelain doll covered in a speck of dust.

''Well aren't you a brave one?'' Seonghwa asked out loud as he was done with his inspection.

Jiwoo didn't reply. She didn't know how to reply to that statement. She felt like no matter how she replied she'd piss of the man.

Seonghwa wasn't really expecting an answer. He was mostly talking to himself. Something he did often. Well, mostly the voices in his head, not exactly himself.

''You are absolutely fucking gorgeous, have anyone ever told you that?'' He asked her as he ran his thumb across her cheekbone

''A few disturbing men, why?''

''Well, you should have someone in your life who always tells you how gorgeous you are, especially with a body like that'' He leaned even closer, eyeing her up and down.

Jiwoo was almost convinced he was gonna kiss her right there, at the town square in front of all the scared civlians.

She was surprised when he didn't. Instead he poked his tongue out and licked her face. Out of relfex, which most people would proabbly deem normal, she slapped the man with all the power she had.

''Goddamn'' Seonghwa hissed as he pulled back from the woman. She knew how to slap. ''You are one ballsy woman!''

Jiwoo continued staring into the man's eyes. ''If you let my face go now, and you walk away, I'm not gonna take you in in cuffs''

''And what if I like handcuffs?'' Seonghwa continued smirking. He knew he was kinky, but he wanted it to come out like that.

Jiwoo had come to the conclusion that, if he liked it, he wouldn't mind, and if he didn't like it, he would've walked away. Which is how Seonghwa found himsel sitting in a place he'd never been seated before. The backseat of a cop car with his hands folded neatly in his lap. He'd only driven them before, after stealing them that is.

As they reached the station she pulled him inside, without much struggle, she earned more than look as she led the the country's most wanted criminal into the station.

''Hey!'' Seonghwa snapped. He raised his hand and pointed a knife at each and single one of them. He had gotten out of his cuffs the moment Jiwoo put him in the car. ''If you don't stop staring, I might have to cut up all of you! Wouldn't like to look like the joker, would ya?''

He approached one of them, Wooyoung, and grabbed his jaw in a firm grip. He held the knife close to the right corner of the poor officer's mouth.

Wooyoung, who was known for being a bold man and always talking back, sat frozen in his chair. Jiwoo wasn't even sure he was breathing.

Jiwoo let out a sigh. ''Seonghwa, you're in a police station, the second you hurt someone they can, by law, fire their weapons at you''

Seonghwa's grip on Wooyung's jaw only tightened, but the knife dropped to the floor. ''Fine, but if you repeat this, I promsie you, something will happen''

Jiwoo grabbed his arm and dragged them towards their holding cells. As she shoved him inside the cell, the other perps were quick to press up against the wall in terror.

Seonghwa sat down in the middle of the room, on the floor, and took out a pen. As he took out the pen the perps pressed even harder against the wall.

He was enjoying the terror he put in other people.

''If your plan is to kill someone with that pen, please give it to me now''

''Look, I'm not planning on it, but even if I was planning it, do you really think I'd tell you?''

''Whatever, do you want a paper?''

Seonghwa nodded and smiled, this time not one of his psychotic, demon smiles, but a softer one.

The woman couldn't believe how a man could have such duality. One moment he's threatening to cut you up like the joker, and the other moment he's sitting on the floor, doodling away like a three year old.

As Jiwoo sat back down by her desk Wooyoung approached his superior officer. ''Look, don't get me wrong Jiwoo, respect for getting Seonghwa, but don't you think it's a bit weird he stayed even though he wasn't cuffed. He must have something planned''

''I know, but let's give him the benefit of a doubt. Or just shove the other perps into the hearing rooms if you think he's gonna kill them. They're too dumb to escape, but I don't trust Seonghwa in there as he could escape. Hell, he could escape now as well, despite eight armed officers watching over him''

Wooyoung nodded. ''I guess...'' He sat back down by his desk and threw his legs up on it.

Jiwoo kept her eyes on the holding cell, where Seonghwa was still sitting peacefully, drawing on his paper and twirling the pen between his fingers every now and then.

''How is he the most feared man in Korea?''

48 hours passed, which meant they couldn't hold the man longer without proof or a hearing. And they had no solid proof. All they had were his tag "Ace of Spades" and he would never admit to that on tape.

''Come on Seonghwa, either you help us out here, or you've gotta leave. We have to fill the cell with other perps and they're all terrified of you'' She motioned to the other perps who'd been pressed up against the wall for the past two days.

''What do I have to do for you to give me something? Please~ give me anything!'' Jiwoo whined. She'd given up on her cool after the first 36 hours.

''Make out with me'' He stated simply, not lifting his gaze from his doodling paper.

Jiwoo couldn't believe she was even considering the offer. Making out with the most wanted man for something he might not even tell her afterwards? ''No! Nuh-uh''

''You hesitated, Princess''

And so the days kept passing and Seonghwa would not budge. They had to get creative about where they put the perps.

Some were shoved into the hearing rooms, which didn't work out in the long run since they needed those for... well hearings.

Some were simply cuffed to nearest surface and the guys hoped they wouldn't escape.

Jiwoo was getting tired of having to come up with different ideas of where to keep the perps, so she took it upon herself to throw the man out so their holding cell could be used.

She walked into the holding cell. ''Guys, take the other perps and store them... somewhere. I just need 10 minutes''

Hongjoong nodded and stood up, as well as the rest of the men, and walked over to the cell to escort the perps into different hearing roooms, with each other.

As Jiwoo entered the holding cell she closed and locked it behind her. She sat down opposite of Seonghwa.

''Can you either help us, or just... leave?''

''But if I leave I can't see your pretty face everyday, Princess'' He finally lifted his gaze from his painting.

Jiwoo took a peek at it. Her eyes widened. It was a picture of herself and Seonghwa... doing unthinkable things. ''You've got some talent, but eh... why in the world am I on the picture?''

''You're hot'' Seonghwa replied without stuttering.

Then again, he was probably used to saying anything he wanted and no one batted an eye.

''You're crazy'' Jiwoo mumbled quietly to herself.

The man's head snapped up in almost inhumane pace. ''Crazy you say?'' The psychotic smile was back on his lips. ''Say, I've been called lots of things, but crazy isn't one of them'' He stood up and started pacing as well as insepcting the cell. ''See I'm a bit hurt you call me crazy, Princess. I was starting to like you''

''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but to be fair, you're wanted for basically everything you can be wanted for''

Seonghwa chuckled. ''Fine, I'll leave, but we'll meet again soon. I can promise you that''

''I doubt it''

Jiwoo was walking home after a long shift. The clock was two in the morning and it was pitch black outside. The sun would be up in a few hours, due to summer time. The only light she was given came from the street lights, which were almost ten meters apart.

She was thanking the weather for being on the warmer side since she was clad in a crop-top and a pair of jeanshorts.

An attire that had made her whole department laugh since she'd never showed up in such clothing. Or to quote Wooyoung "I didn't know you had the ability to look like a female human being"

She wasn't worried. She had her gun on her, and she'd never been scared of the dark. But something was irking her. She didn't like it one bit.

What Seonghwa said to her a month ago, actually got to her.

She wasn't necessarily scared of the man. He had never given her a reason to be scared of him. Well, depends on how you wanna interpreter the whole thing, he had given her several reasons to terrify him, but she always wanted to give people a second chanve, and believe in the good in people.

But she was worried about what he could accomplish, since she had after all heard stories about him.

She stopped as she spotted a silhouette standing under the next lamp.

''The chances of it being Seonghwa is small'' She mumbled to herself.

She didn't know if she wanted to reassure herself or if she was just praying that it wasn't him.

Since the light came from above she couldn't see his face, or any form of detail that could reveal the person's identity.

As she got closer the silhouette started chuckling. Jiwoo cursed herself. She recongized his chuckle.

''Well Princess, didn't I promise we were gonna meet again?'' He stood up straight and walked the last few feet, since Jiwoo was frozen in shock. ''Aren't you happy to see me, Princess?'' He gently grabbed her jaw and tilted it upwards.

''I- uhm... no?'' Jiwoo felt intrigued by him.

''Lie. You know what we do with liars?'' Seonghwa's smirk grew. ''We punish them'' Seonghwa grabbed her arm and pulled her towards a car. ''Scream and someone innocent dies''

Jiwoo cursed herself in her head but allowed the man to pull her towards a random car, which he decided was now his.

What she said previously was out the window. She was starting to grow scared of the man. He was unpredicatble.

Seonghwa stomped on the gas and drove towards his mansion. Yes, mansion.

''We've got an hour to kill, ask me anything. I know you're curious''

''Well... cheesy, but your origin story? Why?''

''Well, I think you know my family. My father Park Baekhyon, asshole for that matter. He's most of the reason. Abusive, alcoholic, manipulative, did as wished because he was rich''

Jiwoo racked in her head for the name Park Baekhyon. She slowly realized who he was. ''You killed your own parents''

''I did. I'm not proud of it. But-''

''How could you kill your own father?'' Jiwoo exclaimed.

''You didn't know him as I did!'' Seonghwa shouted and gripped the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles were turning white. Jiwoo thought he was break it. ''He would rape young boys! He would bring home my friends and he would lure them into his study. Something happened behind those doors and then I would never see my friends again! I only know because he got drunk one evening and bragged about it! And when those boys couldn't satisfy his needs he turned to mom and me!''

Jiwoo's eyes softened. No, it didn't justify the face that he was a murderer or the fact that he murdered his own parents, but him being messed up might have something to do with his messed up childhood.

''I would call the police, but as everyone adored my father and knew nothing about what happened behind closed doors, they would dismiss it as some rich kid around abusing his power, or just just asking for attention! No one ever believed me when I said I was in trouble!''

The car fell silent. The rest of the hour long drive was quiet. Jiwoo was processing everything Seonghwa had told her and Seonghwa was slowly regretting that he told the girl his whole lifestory.

As they reached Seonghwa's mansion Jiwoo's jaw fell open. ''Goddamn''

''Close that pretty mouth of yours'' He tapped her chin and led her inside.

''Look, your sad childhood is, most likely, the root of your hell-like life, and it oesn't excuse your behvaiour, but I get it. No one ever showed you love''

Seonghwa stopped walking and turned around. ''I don't like how you read me like an open book. If you're trying to tell me I've got daddy issues, fuck you. But you're right, no one ever showed me any love and I've been just fine without it! I don't need you, Ms. Police Captain to come around and act all sweet and pretend to give me the love you decided I need''

The woman sighed to herself. She was gonna regret everything she was about to do.

She walked up to the tall man and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. She thought that despite his cold and rough aura, he needed some love.

Everyone needs love, but especially those who've never received it.

The man froze. He was confused. ''W-w-what are you doing?'' All his hard work at building up walls around himself faltered in a second. This woman did what no one else had ever accomplished.

And he hated it!

''I'm hugging you''

''Why? I don't deserve that- I don't-''

''Everyone deserves love. Everyone needs love. Even the most cold hearted people in the world needs love'' She mumbled and kept her arms wrapped around the man.

Seonghwa didn't move from his frozen state. He had never gottan a hug from anyone. Hell, he'd never even gotten a slap on the back, or heard anyone tell him he did a good job.

As Jiwoo pulled away she smiled. ''Everyone-'' Before Jiwoo could start talking Seonghwa had stormed off into a random room.

He had never showed his feelings, he never had to, so now that the woman managed to get his feelings to spill out, he didn't know what to do.

Jiwoo sighed and started walking through the hallways to find the man.

''Why does one lonely man need 200 bedrooms?'' Jiwoo asked herself as she opened another door.

''Empty''

She opened the last door in the hallway, which was a double door. As she threw the doors opened she was met with the man she was looking for.

He was sitting on the floor, something Jiwoo realized was a habit of his, with a big knife in his hand. He was twirling it between his fingers, occasionally throwing it up in the air and catching it.

As Jiwoo opened the door, said knife came flying towards her head. It stuck to the door, less than an inch from her face, but despite the closeness she didn't flinch.

She simply removed the knife and took a closer look at it. ''Nice knife'' She threw it back to Seonghwa. She walked over to the man and sat down in front of him. ''Look, I know you’re not used to… emotions. So I’m sorry that I just… emotion-vomited on you''

Seonghwa didn’t say anything. He simply raised his gaze and deadpanned the woman.

''I can be your therapist! Tell me all your problems''

Jiwoo knew it was weird for a police officer to be nice to a criminal, it was weird for her to even be this nice to a criminal. But she felt like he needed it.

Seonghwa swiftly raised his knife to Jiwoo’s throat and his gaze was ice cold. ''I don’t care if your job is to make me a better a person, I don’t care if your intention is to make me less of a criminal, or however you want to word it, I won’t tell you shit. Are you gonna get a promotion if you do this?''

Once again she didn’t flinch. She gently laid her hand on Seonghwa’s and lowered it. She carefully took the knife from his hands, all while keeping eye contact with the man.

Seonghwa’s gaze softened as he realized she wasn’t scared of him. She wasn’t gonna let this go anytime soon. No one had ever put in this much effort for anything that was about him.

Jiwoo grabbed his other hand and just held his cold hands in her warm ones.

''Look, I know you’ve never heard this before, and I know it’s weird especially when it’s coming from a Police Captain, but I’m here if you need something''

The man didn’t know what to do.

His heart was thumping loudly in his ears. Her hands holding his gave him a tingling sensation. Her sweet, gentle smile made him wanna smile.

''Why is my heart thumping so hard? And fast? And why does my skin tingle whenever you touch me? And why do I wanna smile when you smile?'' Seonghwa rambled his questions out loud.

Jiwoo chuckled at his ramble. How would such a notorious criminal be so adorable.

''Your heart is thumping hard and fast because you’re excited, or when you’re in love. Your skin is either tingling because you’re in love with me or because your allergic to me, and smiles are infectious''

Seonghwa’s eyes widened as he came to a realization. He was in love with the woman in front of him.

''I’m kidding. I have no idea why all that is happening to you'' Jiwoo smiled.

Deposited the woman joking, he was quite sure he was in love with her.

''I think I like you… more than I’d like to admit''

The woman froze. He couldn’t. It was like a poor version of Romeo and Juliette.

''Well, I don’t know if I can say the same right at this moment-''

''I knew it! No one could ever love me! You lied to me!''

Seonghwa swiftly pulled out a gun and pressed it to Jiwoo’s forehead.

The cold metal pressing against her forehead would turn anyone into a frantic mess, but Jiwoo was surprisingly calm. She trusted him.

Which could be stupid, but she listened to her gut feeling.

It almost annoyed Seonghwa that he couldn’t terrify her. He always put fear in people without even trying! He could walk down the street to get a cup of coffee and people would disappear faster than one could count to three.

But why wasn’t this woman scared of him?

She was more scared of his feelings than she was of a gun, pressed against her forehead by the most notorious criminal Korea’d ever seen.

And why couldn’t he hurt her? He’d never had a problem with killing, torturing, kidnapping and so on.

But this woman, something about this woman made him wanna remove all the evil in the world. He could never hurt her! He wanted to protect her from anything that could possibly be evil.

''I- I- I can’t do it! Why can’t I kill you? I’ve never had a problem with it before! What makes you special? You make me wanna quit the criminal life! You make me wanna remove all the evil in the world! I wanna protect you from anything that could possibly hurt you'' He threw the gun across the room in rage.

Jiwoo smiled. ''You are in love with me, Park Seonghwa. Whether you like it or not ''

''I don’t like it! You don’t like me back!'' Seonghwa exclaimed. He almost looked like a three year old throwing a temper tantrum.

''Look, it might be because I've only just met you, or the fact that you're wanted for basically every single thing you can be wanted for, but if I get to know you, the feelings might change'' She held his, cold, hands in her warm ones.

Jiwoo grabbed his arms and pulled at them. ''Come on, I saw a giant TV in one of your millions of rooms, you've gotta have some kind of games. Let's play''

''For a police Officer your aim is really shitty'' Seonghwa chuckled as he won another match.

''It's a lot easier in real life'' Jiwoo mumbled and threw the controller on the couch. She threw it hard enough for it to bounce, and smack Seonghwa in the face. ''Oh my god, I am so sorry!''

Seonghwa glared at the woman. ''How dare you?''

Jiwoo tried her best to not laugh as Seonghwa glared at her. She couldn't really take him seriously. Why? She had no idea, he was terrifying when he glared at someone.

He grabbed her by the waist and pinned her down to the couch.

''I said I'm sorry'' Jiwoo mumbled as the mood changed within a second. ''What more do you want? Kiss it better? Where does it hurt?'' Jiwoo cooed in a judging way.

''I mean, that would be rather nice, wouldn't it?'' He leaned closer to her with a small smirk on his lips. ''My lips hurt, kiss them better?''

The woman didn't know what came over her, but she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. Seonghwa smirked as her lips pressed against his.

As they deepened the kiss Seonghwa removed one of his hands to place it on Jiwoo's cheek, but instead he managed to fall off the couch with a small "Ouff"

Jiwoo sat up and looked down at the boy. She chuckled slightly before he grabbed her and pulled him down on top of him. A small "Ouff" left them both again. Jiwoo chuckled as she straddled his waist.

Seonghwa looked at her with adoring eyes. His hands laid on her thighs, on which his thumbs drew small circles. The woman didn't know what to do as he stared at her. She blushed and lowered her gaze, causing him to chuckle.

''Cute'' He mumbled before he allowed his hands to travel up her thighs, past her waist and under the hem of her shirt. Goosebumps grew on her skin as his fingertips did as they wished.

''What is your next plan?'' Jiwoo raised an eyebrow as she looked down at the man. She tried to not blush as he stared at her.

''As I said, you'd be surprised what a single man could accomplish with the right motivation'' He winked and sat up, face less than an inch from hers.

''What's your motivation right now?''

''You''

#ateez #wooyoung #park seonghwa #seonghwa #smut #suggestive #fluff #ateez smut #ateez fluff #seonghwa fluff #seonghwa suggestive #seonghwa smut #seonghwa x reader #oc #original character #kpop smut #kpop #kpop one shot #one shot #ateez one shot #hongjoong #yunho #yeosang #San #Mingi #Jongho

[hwaberry-dreams]

EIGHTEEN: first impressions and revelations

Warnings: mentions of mental health disorder, mention of self harm scars

Word count: 9k

Summary: Seonghwa meets Lunas parents, the meeting goes well until her mom accidentally causes a fuss. It forces Luna to open up to Seonghwa and leaves her feeling drained but someone unexpected offers their support during this difficult moment.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

(A/N: this chapter will have a 3rd person POV towards the end. I want to start incorporating Ateez thoughts and actions instead of solely Lunas. I will switch between Luna and 3rd person from this point onwards. I would appreciate any feedback on this, good or bad so feel free to message me)

Seonghwa and I arrive at my parents' apartment, laughter already echoing through the door from within, it dawns on me that a relationship isn't just about finding someone who fits perfectly into your life. It's about creating a space for each other, intertwining routines and quirks, and embracing the journey with open hearts. I felt like I could have that with the guys but I also knew I could never ever allow my feelings for them to develop into love or anything near that.

My parents' relationship began in a unique way, their bond forged through circumstances yet blossoming into true love. I grew up witnessing their resilience as they overcame every obstacle thrown their way - from my father's long and difficult tours of duty, to my mother's constant packing and moving with little notice. My mom making sure I had the best childhood she could possible give me. Despite their opposing views and frequent disagreements on most topics, their love is unbreakable and together they are an unstoppable force. I always dreamt of finding that same kind of love with someone someday.

The feeling of Seonghwas fingers tighten subtly in mine pulls me from my thoughts and I look up at him.

"Are you definitely sure we shouldn't have brought flowers for your mom?" he asks me and I can see a flicker of nerves in his eyes

"Absolutely. She isn't a big fan of flowers. She only likes them for decoration and not as a gift. Wine is always a winner with her and the chocolates are for my dad." I answer. "If you think I have a massive sweet tooth, you are about to see exactly where I get it from!"

"Should I refer to your dad as Major Lee?" he asks

"It isn't necessary at all. My dad is not old school military where he expects everyone to call him by his rank or even as sir outside of his work." I say "He is incredibly laid back so don't worry!"

With a steady hand, I reach up to the doorbell and give it a firm push. The door swings open a split second later with a gentle creak and my mom greets us with a warm smile.

"Oh hello!!" she says as if we have arrived unexpected and she hasn't been camped out at the door waiting for our arrival. "Come in, come in!" she opens the door fully and ushers us in. We slip off our shoes and enter the inviting space of the lounge, where my dad stands up from the sofa, his expression stoic. My mom joins him, her smile never faltering, while my dad's eyes scan over Seonghwa with an unreadable look. The air is filled with a mix of anticipation and tension.

I briefly look at Seonghwa who is holding eye contact but I can see he looks nervous. I introduce, "This is Seonghwa."

He greets them politely with a bow, "Hello, Major Lee and Mrs. Lee."

"You can just call us Sam and Eunbi," my mom responds with a warm smile. "Gosh you are more handsome in real life!!" she adds before hugging him suddenly. I can see he is caught off guard, I should have warned him she is a hugger. However I've never seen her hug a boyfriend ever! "You two look so cute together, with your couple outfits!" my mom says pulling back from Seonghwa.

"Not couple outfit, we just happened to be wearing the same colours." I say

"Well that just shows how in tune you are with one another!" she smiles widely

"Is that a box of chocolates I see?" my dad says with a small smile on his face, spotting the gift bag in Seonghwa's hand. He has a knack for detecting chocolate from miles away. I can see he is trying to remain in scary dad mode but with the prospect of his beloved chocolate he cannot keep up the facade and I have to suppress a giggle.

"Yes sir." Seonghwa replies, handing them over to him

"Seonghwa also picked out a bottle of wine for you, Mom." I say

"Oh you didn't need to do that! Thank you Seonghwa." she smiles at him "Dinner will be served soon so make yourself comfortable!" she adds

"Please, have a seat Seonghwa," my dad invites him to the decorated dining table, adorned with fresh flowers and flickering candles. My mom has gone all out for this dinner tonight!

With a gentle hand on my back, Seonghwa guides me to the table and pulls out a chair for me. I catch a faint smile of approval from my dad. It was one of his classic tests, something he's done with all of my previous boyfriends. He wants to see if Seonghwa is traditional and a gentleman, helping me sit before taking a seat himself. I didn't bother mentioning the test to Seonghwa. He always pulls out my chair for me, unless one of the other guys beats him to it. I had no doubt he would pass this test with flying colours.

“I've made a cottage pie, I hope that's alright with you, Seonghwa,” my mom says, looking at him.

“Of course,” he replies, nodding and remaining standing by the table.

“Oh, that's a relief!” my mom sighs. “I'll go check on it.”

"Take a seat." my dad nods towards him.

I know Seonghwa was waiting for my parents to sit first before he did. He takes a seat next to me and pulls his chair closer to the table.

“What exactly is a... cottage pie?” he leans in and whispers to me as my dad heads into the kitchen to assist my mom. His eyes hold a look of confusion, causing me to giggle. Unable to resist, I kiss his lips.

“It's minced beef mixed with gravy and topped with mashed potatoes. My mom adds carrots, peas and onions to hers. It's really delicious,” I explain with a smile. "You will like it!"

“Well that does sound delicious,” he responds with a smile of his own.

"My moms cooking is so good!" I murmur with a smile, nodding in agreement.

Seonghwa leans towards me. "If your moms cooking is anything like yours, I have no doubt that I'll love it." His lips meet mine in a sweet kiss, and I can't help but smile at the gesture. I respond with just as much affection, savouring the moment as his hand delicately cups my face.

"My wife and daughter have impeccable culinary skills," my dad's voice interrupts us, causing Seonghwa to jump back and letting go of me. My dad stands there, holding two glasses of wine in hand and a playful smirk on his face as he catches Seonghwa kissing me. Knowing how traditional Seonghwa is, I can see the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

I can't help but laugh as my dad's mischievous side starts to show. It's a good sign, but I'm not sure how Seonghwa will react to it during our first meeting. After all, my dad has a unique sense of humour.

His eyes twinkle playfully as he walks over to the dining table and sets down the glasses in front of us.

"Honey, don't tease the poor boy," my mom scolds with a grin while placing two more glasses on the table. "Seonghwa, please ignore my husband. He thinks he's funnier than he actually is."

"How dare you!" My dad gasps dramatically, clutching his chest. "I'll have you know that everyone at work thinks I'm the funniest Major on base!"

"Oh honey, that's only because they're afraid of you!" My mom lightly taps his shoulder. "If they don't laugh, you'll make them do 100 laps around the base."

"Well, I never!" My dad sighs theatrically.

I can see Seonghwa begin to relax a bit as he watches my parents' playful banter. But his shoulders are still tense. Under the table, I reach for his hand to give him some reassurance.

"Why don't you be useful and help me with the plates?" My mom suggests with a laugh.

"I can help." Seonghwa offers, standing up from his seat.

"You will do no such thing! You are a guest here and your only job is to eat and drink!" my mom insists, playfully pulling my dad's arm back into the kitchen.

"Sorry about that, my dad loves to joke around," I say with a smile as Seonghwa settles back into his seat.

"It's fine. I just felt a little uncomfortable that your dad caught us," he responds, sheepishly smiling.

"I know but don't worry about it. The fact that my dad is joking around with you means he likes you," I reassure him. "So don't feel awkward." I squeeze his hand before bringing it to my lips to kiss the back of it.

Seonghwas cheeks flush a little as he takes a deep breath and smiles back at me looking more relaxed. My parents start to bring in plates of food. We each have a large portion of cottage pie on our plates with bowls of vegetables, salad, rice and ramen in the middle to help ourselves to. I notice Seonghwas eyes grow a bit bigger at the sheer amount of food available.

"This looks delicious!" he says as my parents take their places at the table.

The aroma of my moms delicious cooking fills the dining room, making my mouth water in anticipation. It has been so long since I had her cooking. I glance at Seonghwa, and see his eyes shining with excitement.

"Well help yourselves!" my mom smiles gesturing to the food.

I notice her keen gaze fixed on Seonghwa as he takes his first bite of the cottage pie. He must be aware of her scrutiny, but he adeptly conceals it with a nonchalant expression.

"Wow, this is absolutely delicious!" Seonghwa's eyes widen in delight and I can tell he truly means it. He has always been a lover of food, savouring each and every flavour with an almost childlike enthusiasm.

"Oh I am glad!" My moms shoulders visibly relax as she takes a bite of her own food. I know she was anxious for Seonghwa to enjoy the meal she prepared for him.

As we all continue to enjoy our meal, the conversation flows effortlessly. My dad, always the entertainer, begins to regale us with a funny story from his younger days.

"So there I was, trying to impress your mom on our first date," he chuckles, his eyes glinting mischievously. I knew he was going to tell this story because he takes every opportunity he can get to tell it and honestly I love hearing it each time. "I took her to this fancy restaurant and thought I was being all smooth, ordering the most expensive bottle of wine on the menu. Little did I know that Eunbi couldn't stand the taste of it!"

We all burst into laughter, including Seonghwa, who seems to have loosened up even more.

"It wasn't that I couldn't stand the taste of it, I had just never had such fancy wine before and it was a little strong for me back then!" my mom laughs

"You have the taste for expensive wines now though!" my dad comments

"I certainly do!" she says winking and holding up the glass of wine we brought before taking a drink.

"And then after all that you friend zoned me!" he laughs looking at her

"I was the best damn friend you ever had!" she replies looking back at him

"3 years later she finally agreed to be my girlfriend." he says, "and we were blessed with our little Luna soon afterwards!"

As our conversation continues, I can't help but pay attention to every small detail - the way Seonghwa chuckles at my father's cheesy jokes, his genuine interest in my mother's work stories. It all seems to be going smoothly, and I finally let myself relax.

"Luna has told us a little about you," my mom says to Seonghwa. "I understand that you need a degree of anonymity with your job and she's been very respectful about that."

Seonghwa blushes at her words, responding with a grateful smile. "I consider myself incredibly lucky to be a part of Luna's life," he says humbly. I reach for his hand under the table. The familiar warmth of his touch brings a smile to my face as I gently squeeze back, grateful to have him and the other guys in my life.

"Seonghwa, how did you get into the industry?" my dad asks, his voice gentle and curious.

"Ah, well, it started when I was young," Seonghwa replies "I always loved music, and when I saw kpop idols on TV, I knew that was what I wanted to do. So I auditioned for different agencies until KQ accepted me."

"Your hard work has certainly paid off," my dad says, nodding approvingly. "Forgive me, I don't keep up with kpop these days. My three daughters are the experts on that." he laughs "Luna says you're group is successful internationally. That's quite an accomplishment."

"Thank you, sir," Seonghwa responds, his gratitude genuine. "I've been fortunate to find a great team who supports and challenges me. We're like family."

As I listened to their exchange, I couldn't help but feel a surge of pride for Seonghwa. His dedication to his craft and love for his bandmates was truly inspiring. I am proud of all of them and their hard work. I catch my moms eye, and she gives me a knowing smile. She understands how much this moment means to me.

The dinner has progressed smoothly so far, everyone enjoying the delicious meal my mom had prepared, the conversation had flowed so naturally and it was heartwarming to see that Seonghwa was fitting in so seamlessly with my family.

Out of nowhere, my dad breaks the silence with a serious tone. "Seonghwa," he begins, his voice holding a weight I can feel in my chest. "I have an important question to ask you." My heart starts to race as anxiety sets in at the sudden shift in his demeanour.

"Of course, sir," Seonghwa replies, his expression attentive.

“How serious are you about my daughter?” he asks

"Dad!" I interject, feeling mortified that he would ask such a personal question.

"I am very serious, sir," Seonghwa answers confidently without skipping a beat.

"We cherish Luna and only want the best for her. She has faced challenges with all our moving due to my job, health issues, and even moving to Seoul alone at 18 years old. I will always worry about her, regardless of how grown and independent she may be. I will do everything in my power to seek justice for her if anyone ever harms her or causes her the slightest bit of sorrow." My dad continues speaking. "But I trust you to take care of her, to protect her and ensure her happiness."

Seonghwa's expression softens, and he nods earnestly. His voice, laced with determination and sincerity, cuts through the air as he speaks. "I promise you, sir," he declares. "I will pour every ounce of my being into ensuring Luna's happiness and well-being. You have my unwavering word on that."

"Thank you, Seonghwa," my dad says with a smile, glancing at my mom who gives him a nod. "We approve of your relationship."

"I know that in this modern era, our approval may not hold much weight, and we're not exactly traditional people either," my mom chimes in, "but when it comes to the happiness and safety of our firstborn daughter, we take things seriously."

"I completely understand, and I also take it very seriously," Seonghwa responds, looking at me. "Your daughter means everything to me."

I can't help but smile at his words, feeling my heart swell with emotions for him.

“Wait until the twins meet you,” my dad beams, “They're going to adore you! We haven't revealed Luna's employer yet; mostly because Hyejin can be quite loud at times!" he chuckles along with Seonghwa. "But also because they are familiar with your band."

"Oh right!" Seonghwa smiles

"As a matter of fact, we took them to see you perform in London earlier this year. It wasn't until Eunbi mentioned it that I even realised Luna worked for you."

"Wow," Seonghwa says, his cheeks turning slightly pink. "I hope we met their expectations."

"Oh, you definitely did!" my mom joins in with a laugh. "They couldn't stop talking about it for weeks."

As the meal nears its end, I realise that tonight was a significant moment in our relationship. My parents' acceptance of Seonghwa was more than I could have hoped for. I know my mom will eventually figure out there is something more between us, but for now, I can relax.

After my mom practically pushes us into the lounge, refusing Seonghwa's offer to help with the dishes, I tell him it's best not to argue with them. We settle onto the sofa as my parents put away the dishes.

"Are you okay?" he asks me, his hand resting on my knee.

"I am," I reply, smiling at him and leaning in for a kiss. I feel his emotions through the touch of his lips on mine. "And you? My dad hasn't scared you off?"

"It would take more than that to scare me away," he reassures me with a grin.

As we sit on the sofa, our hands intertwined, I start to feel a mix of excitement and tranquillity.

"So, what do you think of my parents?" I ask, breaking the silence.

Seonghwa looks at me with a warm smile. "I can see where you get your kindness from," he replies. "They're genuinely caring people, and it's clear that they love you."

I blush at his words, feeling a rush of gratitude toward my parents. "I'm lucky to have them," I say softly. "And I'm lucky to have you too."

His eyes sparkle as he leans closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "No, Luna. I'm the lucky one." He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, his touch sending shivers down my spine. "We all are." he whispers

I lean into his touch, feeling contentment wash over me.

My parents return to the living room carrying a tray of tea and biscuits, taking a seat across from us on the sofa.

"Would you prefer to have coffee Seonghwa?" my mom asks

"No, tea is perfect with me." he replies

"I assume my daughter has been trying to convert you all onto British tea!" my dad says. My dad knows me too well.

"She has been pretty successful in that sense!" Seonghwa smiles with a light laugh

The air was thick with a sense of warmth and comfort, like a warm embrace. But as my mom settled into her seat, I couldn't help but feel a subtle change in her disposition. The light in her eyes dimmed slightly, and the corners of her mouth turned downwards ever so slightly. A hint of worry or concern seemed to weigh on her mind, making me suddenly feel tense and uneasy.

"Luna, how have you been coping?" she asks me

My heart leaps in my chest as I know what she is referring to.

"I've been absolutely fine mom, you don't need to worry."

"Have you been taking your medication regularly?" she asks, concern evident in her voice.

Seonghwa looks startled by the sudden change in topic, his eyes darting between me and my mother. My heart begins to beat faster in my chest as I look at my mom and nod, replying in a careful tone, "Yes, Mom."

"Are you absolutely certain?" my mom persists. "Taking it every day, without fail? You know how crucial it is for your health to stay on top of that. With all the recent changes in your life - your new job, moving apartments, and a new relationship on top of all that - it would be easy for you to forget such things."

"Mom," I say with a strained tone, attempting to keep my composure. I plead silently with my eyes for her to stop her questioning. Seonghwa's concerned expression only adds to the pressure building inside me, and I know I need to reassure him too. As I struggle to maintain a facade of calmness, beads of sweat form on my forehead, betraying my true emotions. The air in the room feels thick and suffocating, like a pressure cooker about to explode. "I promise you, everything is completely under control," I finally manage to say, trying to sound confident.

"Honey, you don't want to end up in hospital again."

Seonghwa speaks hesitantly, his eyes shifting between my mom and me. "Is everything alright?"

"Of course," I respond, placing my hand on his arm in reassurance. "It's nothing to worry about."

My mom lets out a sigh, "Luna..."

Luckily, my dad senses the mood and jumps in. "It's okay, honey," he says.

But my mom won't let it go. "Sambeom, it's not okay!" she says, using his formal birth name. It's never a good sign when she does that. And when she calls me mine too it means things are really serious. "Younhas bipolar disorder is not nothing!"

I feel my chest tighten, my hands begin to shake as I anticipate Seonghwa's response to my mother's words and I find myself wanting to escape from the lounge and the awkward conversation. My eyes frantically scan the room, desperate for a way out, but I know deep down that I can't just run away from this.

"Mom, I really wish you hadn't said that." I say in English, my voice trembles.

"Why not?" she replies, turning back to look at me with furrowed brows.

"Because I hadn't told Seonghwa yet!" I reply, feeling more anxious than ever now that he is looking at me with concern in his eyes and confusion etched on his face.

But my mom, ever the worrier, couldn't let it go. "How could you not have told him?! Seonghwa has a right to know. How can he look after you if he doesn’t know?"

"Actually," I counter, trying to keep my emotions in check, "It's my decision when and how to share something so personal. And also, I can look after myself!! I don’t need someone else to do it for me!"

She questions, "Shouldn't your boyfriend know everything about you?"

"Mom..." I pause, unsure of how to respond so she continues

"How can you expect to have an open and trusting relationship if you hide important details like that from him? On what planet do you expect a relationship to grow when you can't even be honest with him?!"

I try to reply but nothing comes out of my mouth. I know my mom has the best intentions and is only concerned for me but I feel so angry at this moment. Telling Seonghwa I am bipolar was one thing but to question my relationship was another. As the tension mounts, my dad clears his throat and attempts to change the subject. "So, Seonghwa, tell us more about your life as a singer. It must be very exciting."

I struggle to pay attention to the new conversation, my mind consumed by the revelation of my secret and the vulnerability it has exposed. Seonghwa notices my distress and tries to comfort me silently by holding my hand, but I need some space. I pull my hand away from his grasp and excuse myself to the bathroom, quickly leaving the room before anyone can respond.

"Luna!" I hear my mom call out as I enter the hallway.

"Give her a moment, honey," my dad interjects.

As I close the bathroom door behind me I fall back into it. I look up and see my reflection in the mirror of the door. I look awful! The tears that had filled my eyes has smudged eyeliner and mascara. My face is flushed red. My appearance mirrored the turmoil within me, a dishevelled mess that I couldn't hide or fix.

“Fuck!” I moan quietly, sinking to the floor, my body heavy with frustration. I slide over to the bath and rest against it. I pull my legs up and place my head on my knees. My hands pressed flat against the cool marble flooring, providing some sense of stability amidst the chaos in my mind. I close my eyes and take slow, purposeful breaths, trying to focus on the sensation of the cold surface beneath me in an attempt to ground myself before I spiral further and let it consume me completely.

After 5, maybe even 10 minutes I hear a light tap on the door and I raise my head, startled out of my thoughts. "It's me, darling," Seonghwa's gentle voice calls from outside. "You don't need to open the door, but please just let me know that you're alright."

I lean forward to unlock it before moving back against the bath, pulling my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. The room is dimly lit, with only a small window allowing a sliver of light to enter. Seonghwa enters slowly, his soft footsteps barely audible on the tiled floor. He sees me sitting on the floor and quietly closes and locks the door behind him before taking a seat beside me. His long legs stretched out in front of him.

"You don't have to face this alone." He says softly. "You have the 8 of us right here with you."

As I listen to his words, my frazzled nerves start to calm down. His reassurance is like a soothing balm, but even with his comforting words, I can't shake the fear that my condition will impact our relationship, despite his promises.

I start to speak, my words hesitant and uncertain. "Seonghwa...I never intended to deceive you. To lie to you all."

He interrupts me, his voice full of reassurance. "You didn't lie at all."

The weight of my guilt hangs heavy in the air, suffocating me with every breath. My hands shake as I grasp onto my legs tightly, fighting back the tears that threaten to spill over. "I did lie, by omission," I finally choke out, my voice trembling with emotion. "You all made it clear from the beginning that honesty was necessary for this relationship to thrive, and I wasn't. My mom is right, if I can’t be honest with you all then this relationship won’t work!” I say holding back the tears.

Seonghwas head quickly snaps to look at me. “Darling, my feelings for you haven’t changed. I am not letting you go.” he replies, putting an arm around me. 

“But…” I begin but he stops me

"I'm not upset that you didn't tell us; I understand why. You are an incredibly independent person, you made it clear to all of us from the start that you do not like being fussed over and you probably knew that we would do exactly that if we knew. All I care about is your safety and how you're coping with it on your own. Are you okay?" he says

“I am!” I confirm, letting myself lean against his body while still keeping my arms tightly wrapped around my knees. “I truly mean it. I’ve been diligently taking my prescribed medication and regularly visiting my therapist."

"That is good!" I can hear the smile on his face. "Does your therapy help?"

"It helps a lot! Remember when I said I was going to the karaoke room with my cousin last week?" I feel him nod in reply "I was actually at one of my therapy sessions. I hated having to lie to you all, but Hongjoong knew where I was. He has known for a while." I take the opportunity to look at him, hoping to gauge his reaction to what we are talking about.

"That makes me feel better knowing you weren't dealing with it all alone." he smiles softly at me

"I was planning to tell you and the others when I was ready. I swear to you!” I say as I slowly unwrap my arms from my legs and let them move towards him

He pulls me closer, and I allow myself to fully sink into his embrace now. "I know you would have," he says as his hand strokes my face. "You just needed the perfect moment, huh?" I nod silently, feeling grateful for his understanding. He kisses the top of my head, and for a moment everything feels okay. His hands move me so I am sitting on his lap facing him.

"My bipolar doesn't define me. Just like my allergies don't but it is a part of who I am." I say looking into his eyes "As much as I want to, I can't change that. It makes people treat me as if I am about to break or a child who can't do anything for myself, like manage my medication or keep on top of my condition." I look down as my hands rest on his chest, "I was scared that you would all treat me the same way or decide I am not worth it."

"I know, Luna," he says softly, his voice unwavering. I feel his fingers touch the tip of my chin, gently tilting my head to look at him "We would never think you aren't worth it. And I don't normally speak for the others but I will now because I am 100% certain of these words - none of us are going anywhere. I don't think any of us can imagine life without you in it now." The sincerity in his gaze brings tears to my eyes and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I don't deserve such understanding and compassion. Leaning in, I press my lips against his, relieved when he kisses me back. We stay that way for a moment, our foreheads touching.

"I am sorry for leaving you alone with my parents like I did." I say with a small sigh.

He responds, "It's fine. You needed space. Your mom explained that when you get overwhelmed you need time alone to do a little reset." He takes my face in his hands. "Please don't be mad at me for what I am about to say next, but she does have a point. About the new changes you've gone through lately, I mean."

I pull back slightly to look at him, noticing the worry in his eyes. I lean in for a kiss to reassure him. "I'm not mad and of course she's right! She usually is but it just doesn't make her overbearing nature any easier to deal with." I say

"I can see that." he says softly "Do you want to go home now?"

"Yes, please. Anywhere but this bathroom floor. I'll speak with my mom tomorrow, when we're both in a better state of mind." I let out a sigh of relief that he understands what I need.

"I'll talk to your parents and grab your things. Don't worry," he smiles at me reassuringly. "I'll wait by the door for when you're ready. Take your time."

"Thank you," I smile back as he helps me up and stands up too. He kisses my cheek before unlocking the bathroom door and leaving. I look at myself in the mirror and groan. My makeup is smudged all over my face, making me look like a panda. I try to clean it up, but it's no use. I grab a makeup wipe from the counter top and remove most of it. Even though my face is still red and puffy from crying, Seonghwa has seen me look worse first thing in the morning and at this point of the evening I don't even care. I take out my contact lenses, which have become incredibly uncomfortable from all the tears.

As I go into the hallway I see Seonghwa and my dad at the front door. My bag and coat are in Seonghwas hands as he talks with my dad quietly. I can't hear what they are saying in their hushed voiced but they both have serious looks on their faces so I can only assume it is about me.

"There is my beautiful girl!" my dad smiles as he sees me and opens his arms. "It was lovely to see you both tonight." he adds as I sink into him

"Is mom okay?" I ask quietly. It didn't feel right leaving without saying goodbye to her but at the same time I didn't trust myself not to say something and inside there was still a bubble of anger in the pit of my stomach.

"Don't worry, she is fine! You two will patch things up when you are both in a calmer mood, just like you always do." he whispers into my ear. "Now make sure to text me when you are both safely home!" he add louder for Seonghwa to hear.

Seonghwa helps me put my coat on and my bag then we leave after my dad hands over a bag full of leftover food. As we walk out of the apartment building and into the cool night air, I feel a sense of relief washing over me. The tension that had built up between my mom and me is still there and will be until we speak properly, but for now, I feel a little calmer. Seonghwas hand clasps onto mine as we walk back to our apartment. In the dark surroundings of the night and without my contact lenses in, my vision is bad and I am relying purely on Seonghwa to guide me.

"Are you alright?" he asks with concern. "Your face looks like you're in pain."

"Oh no, this is just my 'I can't see shit without my glasses on' face." I reply

"What about your contacts?" he inquires

"I had to take them out in the bathroom. They were making my eyes irritated from all the tears." I explain.

"Darling, why didn't you tell me you couldn't see? Hop on my back and I'll carry you the rest of the way." he offers, moving in front of me.

"Aww, I appreciate it, but I'm fine!" I laugh lightly. "Just hold my hand tight and make sure I don't walk into anything like a streetlight or a plant!"

"Okay." he sighs, I can't see his expression clearly enough but the tone said it all.

He takes my hand in his again, guiding me gently as we make our way into the park. There is a peaceful quietness between us. Seonghwa leads me to a tree adorned with twinkling fairy lights, and in the soft glow, I can see his face a little clearly now. He pulls me into an embrace, wrapping his arms around me in a comforting gesture. I nuzzle into his chest, inhaling his familiar scent mixed with the crisp autumn air.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of this," he whispers into my ear. "But just remember, no matter what happens with your mom or anything else in life, I'll always be here for you."

A single tear escapes down my cheek, and I cling to him with even more strength. "There's something else I need to tell you," I manage to say. He remains silent, giving me the space and comfort to continue. "I only found out about my bipolar disorder because... I did something really really stupid."

He speaks softly as I pull away from him, trying to gather the courage to tell him face-to-face. "You can tell me," he reassures me.

"I-I tried...I wanted to..." I stumble over my words, struggling to voice what's on my mind. "I'm sorry, I'm just... scared."

"If it's too difficult for you to say, then you don't have to. Our relationship won't change either way," he assures me again.

"No, I need to tell you, it is the least you deserve." I reply taking a deep breath. "I was in a dark place early last year - overworked, overwhelmed, exhausted, and incredibly lonely. I was missing my family, missing my friends. Due to the pandemic I was working very long hours then going home alone. Everything just felt like too much to handle and I didn't know what to do. I wished for peace more than anything though. Just wanted things to stop. I wanted the thoughts to stop." I sigh looking down, scared to look at his face. My eyes focus on a button on his coat as I continue. "My friends brother found me. He was dropping off some food their mom had made for their neighbourhood, she always made extra for everyones friends too so Minjun dropped mine off. He thought I was working that night so had only planned to leave the food in my fridge and go but I wasn't and he found me unconscious. He drove me to the hospital and stayed with me while they.... fixed me" I struggle to say the exact words. "I was soon transferred to the psychiatric unit for assessment, even then he stayed in the hospital building until my Uncle Jihoon and Aunt Soomin arrived 2 days later. They had been in Jeju Island with her family. I stayed in the unit for 5 weeks, during which time I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and started medication and therapy treatment." I can feel his arms tighten around me. "It is why I always wear a lot of bracelets or long sleeves, I don't want people to see the scars."

"Thank you for trusting me enough to share this with me," he says, his voice filled with empathy. "I can't begin to imagine the pain you've been through, but I want you to know that I'm here for you now."

A wave of pure relief washes over me. I hadn't expected him to be so understanding.

"Lets get you home!" he smiles.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

The apartment is bustling with noise as we enter, now that more people are home. Mingi and Yeosang are engrossed in a game of Mario Kart on the sofa, while Yunho and Jongho watch them play.

“Ah, wasn’t expecting you two back so early!” Yunho smiles looking over at us

"We're all playing Mario Kart, you should join us," Yeosang suggests, eyes fixated on the television screen

I exchange a glance with Seonghwa and give a slight nod. To be honest, I just want to crawl into bed and sleep it off, but I know Yunho will start worrying if I do that. And Seonghwa would definitely be concerned as well, considering recent events.

“Sure.” Seonghwa says, his hand strokes my back gently.

Sitting in the middle of Yunho and Jongho, I catch a subtle exchange of looks between Yunho and Seonghwa. Suddenly, Yunho declares that he's going to make ramen for everyone. He leans in to kiss my cheek before heading to the kitchen, Seonghwa follows closely behind. My heart races with fear that Seonghwa might spill my secret to Yunho. He sees me looking at him, probably with a look of fear in my eyes and comes over to me instead, he surprises me by leaning down and planting a gentle kiss on my other cheek. In a hushed tone, he reassures me, "It's alright. I am just going to put the food in the fridge. Would you like some toast and jam?"

I shake my head, "Not hungry." I respond.

"Maybe a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits?" He inquires.

"I'm fine," I say.

"Have some noodles at least, even just a little bit?" He suggests. I look up at his eyes and they look almost pleading-like.

"Okay," I reply quietly. There's no use arguing with him; I can tell he's determined to make sure I eat something.

Seonghwa runs his fingers through my hair gently before heading back into the kitchen. Jonghos body settles next to me on the couch, and I follow suit by bringing my feet up and crossing my legs. Mingi and Yeosang are still engrossed in their game as Jongho and I sit in silence, my gaze fixed on the coffee table in front of us. Tears begin to well up in my eyes again, and I let out a small sniffle that goes unnoticed thanks to the noise from the game as well as Mingi and Yeosangs playful banter with one another over who was in the lead. Or so I thought until I feel Jongho's hand slip into mine. I look at him, surprised by his sudden contact but also comforted by it at the same time. His eyes remain focused on the TV. My gaze shifts down to our linked hands as he gives it a gentle squeeze, our intertwined fingers hidden from view between us on the couch.

As we sit in silence, a sense of understanding permeates the air between us, offering an unspoken solace. I let my head fall against the plush back of the sofa and gaze up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill from my eyes. I decide to focus on my breathing. With each inhale and exhale, I can feel my body slowly succumbing to the tiredness. I feel the heavy weight of my head listlessly roll to the side and come to rest on something sturdy and warm. The faint aroma of Jongho's signature cologne lingers in my nose as my mind slips into a state of emotional exhaustion.

─ ｡☆: 3rd person POV :☆｡ ─

Jongho's gaze shifts down to his shoulder as he notices that Luna has succumbed to slumber, her form nestled against him in peaceful repose. He can see the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathes, her body completely relaxed against the side of his body. Unsure of how to proceed, Jongho takes in his surroundings - Mingi and Yeosang engrossed in their race, Seonghwa and Yunho bustling in the kitchen - before returning his attention to Luna, studying her delicate features.

Over the past few weeks, he has made a conscious effort not to stare at her. Which has been easier said than done when he wants nothing more than to look at her, wondering what she sees in him to want to be with him. His thoughts carrying away and convinces himself that maybe it's because of the others around him and he's just a small part of the package deal.

Whenever they are alone together, he becomes too flustered to even speak, let alone truly look at her. But now, for the first time, he can admire Luna's features without feeling self-conscious. He notices that her natural lip shape resembles a heart and she has light coloured freckles sprinkled across her cheeks, a little mole underneath her left eye and a tiny indent of a very old scar on her cheek. He takes this opportunity to fully take in all of her unique features. Jongho allows himself to sink into this moment, feeling grateful for the calm bliss it brings. That Luna feels safe and comfortable enough with him to fall asleep beside him.

As soon as Luna had sat down beside him, he could sense the tension in her body. The murmuring tone of her conversation with Seonghwa when her voice is usually animated even when being quieter, the way Seonghwa looked at her like he was concerned and then the soft sniffle he heard confirmed that something was bothering her. He couldn't just ignore it; he wanted to offer some kind of comfort to her. Without drawing attention or making her uneasy by asking if she was ok, he gently took her hand in his. For a moment, he was worried she might pull away, but when he felt her hand relax in his grasp and he knew she welcomed the support. Now she had fallen asleep on his shoulder.

As Seonghwa comes in from the kitchen holding some bowls of ramen he quickly noticed Luna on Jonghos shoulder.

"Is she sleeping?" he whispers, setting the bowls down on the coffee table.

"Yeah, she just dozed off suddenly," Jongho replies.

Seonghwa disappears into Luna's bedroom and returns with her favourite kuromi blanket in his hands. Mingi and Yeosang turn their attention to Luna as well.

"Is everything alright? With Luna, I mean." Jongho asks as Seonghwa gently lays the blanket over her as Yunho comes in with drinks.

"Yeah, she is fine." Seonghwa replies

"You sure?" Yunho asks, his eyebrow raising slightly

Like Jongho, Yunho had also picked up on her body language when she got home and the look in Seonghwas eyes.

"Yeah, she was just tired on the walk home. I think seeing her family after so long probably took a lot out of her." he explains, gently stroking Luna's cheek. "You know how we can get when we're away from our families for too long."

"Yeah, we definitely do." Mingi nods his eyes looking at her, "It must be harder for Luna though. Her family doesn't even live in the same country as she does."

"How will we get her into her bed?" Yeosang asks

"We can let her rest here for a little while. I don't mind sitting out of the next game, Seonghwa can take my spot. If she doesn't wake up within an hour, I can carry her to her room and one of you can help get her ready for bed," Jongho suggests.

They all agree with that plan. Seonghwa and Yunho sit down and they begin to eat and play. As time passes by, Luna remains sound asleep on Jonghos shoulder, not moving an inch and their hands still entwined. The room is filled with a hushed silence, broken only by soft laughter at the game antics and the occasional clink of utensils as they ate.

Finally Luna begins to stir, feeling a slight stiffness in her neck from the angle her head had been at. Her eyes flutter open, trying to take in her surroundings with her blurred vision.

"Hey sleepyhead!" Jongho greets her quietly with a gentle smile

Luna suddenly sits upright and looks at him, realising she had fallen asleep on him. "Sorry." she mumbles, her hand leaving his. "You should have nudged me to wake up!"

"It is okay, you must have needed the sleep." he says

"You want some noodles? We have some left over." Yunho says

"No thanks, I just want to go to bed. I have work in the morning." she replies yawning loudly "Oh sorry!" she covers her mouth, blushing lightly at how loud it was.

Yunho's hand caresses Luna's back, eliciting a small smile from her to him. He senses something is off, but he doesn't want to pry. At first he thought she was feeling uneasy about their night together but then remembered how she cuddled into him earlier as she waited for Seonghwa, kissed him infront of both Mingi and Seonghwa. While in the kitchen he had asked Seonghwa if everything was okay with Luna, he received the same answer as everyone else - she was just exhausted. And when Yunho discovered her sleeping soundly in the lounge a few minutes later, it seemed to confirm that. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to it, and he wondered if it had anything to do with the insecurity she had confided in him about the night before.

Yunho is pleasantly surprised when Luna turns to hug him properly. Seonghwas eyes carefully watch her, looking for any signs of feeling upset, as does the others. She stands up from the sofa with the help of Yunho and Jongho, exchanging hugs and goodnight kisses to each of the guys except Jongho. She wasn't sure if he was ready for that level of physical contact yet since he has only held her hand twice and then there was the near kiss in the kitchen the week before.

As she bids Jongho a good night, he reaches out and gently strokes the side of her head before she can turn away. His smile is soft and kind as he looks at her. The others begin to tidy up the lounge, taking the dishes into the kitchen, leaving them alone in the lounge.

"Sorry again for falling asleep on you." she says

"My shoulder is always available if you need it again." he laughs lightly "I hope you have a good sleep sweetheart." he adds moving his hand to cup her cheek delicately.

Luna feels her heart skip a beat at the pet name he has suddenly started calling her recently. Resisting the urge to hug him, she simple smiles and says "You too." before going to her bedroom. Unbeknown to her, Jongho was also holding back from pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly.

Luna smiles as she sees the large kuromi plushie Yunho got her on the bed indicating to her that he had put it in her bedroom while she was out this evening. Immediately she goes over to it and pulls it into her arms, lying on the bed. The soft fabric and faint scent of Yunho giving her comfort.

Once a few moments have passed, she stands up and prepares for bed. She follows her nightly routine of washing her face and brushing her teeth before selecting her pyjamas for the night. After glancing at her usual long-sleeved nightshirt she throws it onto the chair at her desk and instead pulls a vest top from her dresser. It is too hot at night for such a heavy material of the long sleeved shirt and tonight she just wants to be comfortable, not covered up.

She puts on the top and a pair of shorts before picking up the clothes scattered on the floor and tossing them onto the chair with the discarded night shirt.

A soft voice interrupts her thoughts, causing her to turn around and see Seonghwa entering her bedroom. He closes the door behind him before walking over to her.

"I just wanted to check on you before I go to bed," he says gently. "Tonight was a lot for you."

"It was, but I'll be okay Hwa," she replies. "I feel safe here... in my home with all of you."

"I'm glad this feels like home to you, because it is. And I think it's safe to say that we all feel more at home with you here too," he responds.

Luna moves closer to him and wraps her arms around his shoulders, feeling his warmth against her own body.

"Are you okay?" she asks. "Tonight must have been overwhelming for you too – not just my parents, but everything else that occurred. You had a lot of heavy information thrown at you."

With a serious expression, Seonghwa says, "I won't hide the truth from you." Luna takes in a sharp breath, bracing herself for whatever he is about to say. "I know it's a lot to handle, but all I want is for you to be happy and healthy. If you tell me that you have your bipolar disorder under control, then I will trust you. But please promise me that if you start feeling like things are slipping or not quite right, you will tell me or Hongjoong immediately." He leans in closer, looking into her eyes as she nods in agreement, her hand moving to the side of his head. "Promise me!"

"I promise you, Hwa. I will tell you." she replies firmly.

A look of slight relief washes over his face, causing his features to soften into a gentle smile. He reaches for her hand, carefully threading his fingers through hers and pressing a tender kiss against the delicate skin of her wrist. Normally, she despises any attention being drawn to her scars, but with him, she feels nothing but safety and acceptance. She knows that he sees and understands her past struggles.

"If you need anything tonight, just come to my room. Even if I am asleep, wake me up." he says looking back at her eyes

"I am sure I will be fine but thank you." she replies

Seonghwa smiles softly at her, nodding his head in understanding before pulling her close and pressing a gentle kiss against her lips. Their breaths mingle in the air between them, warm and sweet.

"All right, then," he whispers back. "Let's get you tucked into bed."

Luna nods as Seonghwa helps her lie down on the soft, cosy pillows of her bed. The sheets are cool against her heated skin but comfortable. He hands over the kuromi plushie, smiling fondly at it as she wraps her arms around it while he pulls up the blankets over her, taking care to make sure she's snug and warm. He tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear and leans in close again to kiss her forehead.

"Goodnight, Luna," he whispers, stroking her cheek with his thumb as he pulls away from her slightly but not letting go of their entwined hands.

"Goodnight, Hwa," she replies softly, her voice barely above a whisper too.

She watches as he switches on her fairy lights, turns off her bedside lamp and makes his way across her room to her door. He gives her one last smile before leaving. She yawns and closes her eyes, as she hears the others quietly making their way upstairs to their respective bedrooms. Tonight didn't go as planned, however Luna knew one thing for certain - she felt lighter knowing she wasn't lying or hiding something from one more person in her life but hoped the time would come soon she would feel ready to tell the others, and that they will be as understanding as Hongjoong and Seonghwa have been.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

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