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#september 2020

Just when I didn’t think this year could get worse, it went and did. I’ve been trying to hide, I’ve been trying to remain but let me tell you, whom ever may be listening, I’m struggling. My father, one half of my DNA died by suicide in September and since then it’s been a whirlwind. I have grieved and I’ve yelled, even howled, I have cried so much that the salt tears are carving out a canyon on my face. This is hard. It’s just been a trigger to my own suicidal ideations and thoughts. I just needed this safe place to say out to the universe, that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t save him, I tried, 13 years I tried to save him. I wish someone would save me.

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