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I think I finally realized why I love Tonhon so much.

Because he’s me… if I’d been raised homophobic and was rather dumb.

I spent my entire life in high school and college being the ‘token straight person’ in all my groups of friends. I was the ‘only straight girl’ and I laughed about it a lot because ‘wow, everyone around me is queer!’.

It took me until I was 30 to realize that pretending to be a boy online, not really liking being thought of a girl/woman and having zero interest in sex actually MEANT something.

If I hadn’t been raised open minded? If I hadn’t always been friends with openly queer people?

… I see a reflection of myself in Tonhon. Yes, it’s distorted and no, it’s not perfect. But I see it.

I think it’s why I’m so invested in all these readings of him.

… There will definitely be more, by the way. I just love his potential. Because a closet you don’t know you’re in is just a room.

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