#seriously I could write a dissertation on their relationship

[puckarchives]

sweet girl / take a break: q. hughes

blurb: in which quinn takes care of you when you need it most — this was originally an ask i wrote for @sweetestdesire and i am not finally reposting!  / word count: 1.4k / pairing: luke hughes x fem!reader (WARNING: mentions of anxiety, anxiet attack, mental health.)

When you and Quinn had first begun seeing each other, a commitment that you joked “crossed international borders” because of the different sides of the border you were both on, you had made one thing particularly clear: school was something you took extremely seriously, and something you weren’t willing to compromise. Quinn, however, understood perfectly; he understood your want to be the best, to excel in everything, and to break your own records— in other words, you two were perfect for each other. 

Now, however, as you sat on the counter of your shared apartment two years into your relationship, (along with your relocation to Canada for graduate school and to be closed to the man you loved,) you couldn’t help but rethink every single decision you’d made when it came to school. Which is how you found yourself at your kitchen island at 4AM, caught up in trying to calculate and write one of your dissertation chapters based off of your research.

“What does that even mean?” you groaned, staring at the chart in front of you, trying to evaluate what type of funding allocations had been given to a certain subset of the community you were working alongside for your Sociology and Statistics dissertation, but feeling like you were majorly failing at it. 

You had been at this project for the past three years— and now, in your final year of your graduate program, you had been working yourself to the bone— being the first one in the lab at 6:30AM most days, and not making your way home until late at night, where you would kiss Quinn as he slept in your shared bed, but not join him unless it was to shower quickly before once again getting to work.

As the numbers swam in front of you, you couldn’t help but become more frustrated with yourself. Why couldn’t you understand this material like your colleagues? Why was it so difficult for you, and not them? Why couldn’t you just be good enough? Smart enough?

As these thoughts swarmed— a suffocating feeling of self-consciousness and imposter syndrome you had worked so hard for to trample down since you you had begun your undergrad in Washington, you tried to breathe— to remind yourself why you were here, but still failing; a failure that was making the streams of anxiety and panic bubble to the surface. 

Trying to distance yourself from the onset panic attack you could feel you were at the brink of, you tried to make your way outside to your backyard— falling on your knees at the back door as you could feel your frame shake with the sobs of self-disappointment and anguish; of the amounting weight of not being good enough, and of the feeling like you didn’t belong. 

You could feel the weight of the anxiety on your chest, a blanket made up of your deepest fears that you tried to breathe through, stuttering out shaky breaths on the floor as you tried to regain your composure. By your fifth breath, however, you couldn’t hold the tears at bay any longer— sobbing and letting the anxiety consume you like an endless and hungry wildfire— one that you couldn’t even trample down when you heard the opening of the door behind you, and felt the presence of the man you loved most kneeling down next to you, bringing you into his arms.

Despite how much you both pushed yourselves to the limit in your careers, Quinn was always there the moment you needed anything. He was your (albeit grumpy,) rock, and always the fresh of breath air you looked for. In a way, he was the Sun you stretched out to during the day, never shying away when he needed you in situations just like the one you found yourself in. 

As Quinn brought you into his arms, now rocking you back and forth, he held you— understanding that you needed to be brought back into yourself before he could speak to you first; understanding that you needed to be brought back to your physical state before your emotional one. 

As the two of you sat there for what felt like an hour to you, you could feel Quinn petting your hair and leaving small kisses on your temple, the scratch of his scruff leaving tiny trails of kisses as well on your cheeks. As your fears subsided, however, and your breathing went from rapid and choppy to calm and controlled, you disengaged yourself from his arms, only to look up at him immediately— seeing the worry in his big brown eyes, and seeing his sleep tousled hair and bloodshot eyes; remnants of the anxiety he felt seeing you break apart, no doubt. 

“You back with me, Y/N?” he asked quietly, wanting to let you come back on your own terms, and without startling you. Quinn, despite everything, was still a big brother— the sibling who was pushed to always put the needs of others before his own, and who was always looking out for others before even listing what he needed. He was the most selfless person you had ever met, but also one who, too often, overlooked himself as well.

“Mhmm,” you mumbled, your throat scratchy and raw. You rubbed your thumb on the collar of his shirt, entwining your fingers with his outstretched hand. 

“Y/N, sweetheart, you have to take a break, baby,” you heard him plead with you. As you looked up at him, you could practically see the desperation in his eyes— fogged over by the concern he had for your own well-being, which he could clearly tell had been deteriorating over the past few weeks. “I know this is a big project, baby, please believe that I do— but you can’t keep doing this to yourself; to us,” he said. You could feel the tremors in his hands from his pleading, and, looking at his eyes— the dark circles under them only made the pit in your chest cave more. You were hurting him— you were hurting the man you love, and it felt like you couldn’t stop— couldn’t fix it. 

“I’m sorry I’m hard to handle, Q, I didn’t mean to wake you up” you said, now sobbing directly into his chest. “I’m so, so sorry” you repeated into his chest, the sweater he had put on haphazardly now soaked through with your anxiety. 

“No, no sweet girl, look at me— please” Quinn said, looking down at you, and pulling you slightly away from his chest. “You didn’t wake me up, baby. I missed you, and I wanted to check on you. In no way is this your fault, you hear me?” he said, holding your chin between his middle finger and thumb, angling you to meet his eyes. 

He was entirely serious, too; he had missed you these past could weeks, and before he saw you mid-panic attack over your work, he was determined to simply drag you back— but at least now he could make you take a break; make you take care of yourself, and take care of you himself. 

“Sweet girl, you are my entire world, okay? No matter what you do, you will still always— and I mean always, Y/N— be the smartest person to me; but you need to let yourself take a break baby, please,” he pleaded. Seeing you like this— your eyes bloodshot from the tears and numerous sleepless nights, had him worrying about you, but despite that, you would always be perfect in his eyes— no matter if you failed or if you passed with flying colors, he would only be proud of you. 

“Y/N, you are my light, okay? I know I can’t always express it, but you need to understand how much you truly mean to me— I would be nothing without you, baby, but please— for my sake and for your own, please rest? We can go back to bed, and in the morning we’ll call in, both of us, okay? Please, baby, just let me hold you for longer than two hours,” he pleaded, trying to rope you into resting. 

You could only lay your head back on his shoulder; you nodded slowly, encompassed in the smell of his cologne, and breathed. You were alright; you were with Quinn, your rock— and even though you might not have felt it right now, you were going to be okay— you were going to take a break. 

In Quinn’s eyes, your image was unshakeable— something to behold, and something he would work for the rest of his life for you to see, too.

#quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes x reader #nhl imagine #vancouver canucks

[phoenix-fell]

Anti-Bumbleby criticisms answered with BB analysis - Big post

As expected, as Bumbleby gets more attention from the show, the anti-BB crowd have surfed in on their tidal wave of bitter lemons. So, I’d like to put my degree, job and training to use and compile my thoughts down in one place - a one-stop shop if you will - it’s long and will be largely unfiltered as I tackle the weirdest and most common criticisms and BB analysis. (I kinda miss Bumbleby analysis Megaposts, I might make one sometime to go alongside this as a point of reference as most I’ve seen end around Vol 6).

TIA for anyone who actually takes the time to read my ramblings and please feel free to give your thoughts/analysis and I’ll edit it in. FIRST EDIT - 8th Mar 2023 presenting labels and sexuality in Remnant - 4th from end.

Credentials: Double major 1st class grad in Literature and Creative Writing, specialising in fairy tales and WLW representation in media. Recipient of dissertation award exploring character psyche and the presentation of psychological themes. Literary critic, writer and content specialist. 

Let’s start off with a cracker from Reddit!

“Why couldn’t the BB scenes be more of a background thing? Why do they need to focus on them like they’re a main plot or something?”

Is... Is it stuffy under all that homophobia? I could easily rhyme off a string of sarcastic quips like ‘gee, I wonder why, it’s almost like it’s important to the development of two of the main characters or something.’ But it’s so lost on some people that I’mma spell it out:

We’ve seen Blake and Yang’s trauma painted across the screen from ‘Burning the Candle’ when Yang first confesses her abandonment issues, to the White Fang / Adam arcs that gave us a picture of the abuse Blake has endured - not just as a Faunus, but from her partner (“Adam used to get into my head, make me feel small.”), right through to their separation that dealt with their respective issues with running away/being abandoned and the shared trauma which has tied them both together indefinitely. They’ve been apart, they’ve repaired their relationship, they’ve grown together. In a current volume that’s so inherently focused on character’s individual development, seeing Blake and Yang together was almost inevitable as they’ve been so completely involved in one another’s development throughout the entire series. This is without going into their fairy tale allusions that tie them together which I’ll go into further down or the references to Yin/Yang and numerous romantic tropes that show how integral they are to one another’s characters. Contrary to belief, it’s not romance for the sake of romance - in this instance, the romance very much strengthens their development individually.

Asides from all of this, it was decided from the very beginning that Yang would lose her arm (foreshadowed in the Yellow trailer). The moment they decided that Yang would lose her arm protecting Blake, was the moment a decision was made to invariably tie these two narratives together on a very fundamental level.

But also, don’t clown yourself into thinking you’re not a homophobe if you think any LGBT content belongs in the background whilst also rejoicing any onscreen developments between straight ships.

“If BB was meant to be a thing then they wouldn’t have had Sun as a romantic interest.”

Is there a universe where love triangles and bisexuals are a foreign concept?

But in all seriousness, I think that certain corners of fanbases seem to struggle with any concepts that are non-linear; something I often see with anime. By ‘linear’, I mean: love interest introduced > build up > canon > together forever. As opposed to ‘non-linear’; a character that goes on their own journey of discovery and, through which, has more than one interest and path over time and has the ability to change their mind. The show was never a ‘romance’ as a primary theme; it’s an action/adventure which has some romantic subplots. But to honest, Blake changing her mind shouldn’t really be this much of a shock to the fanbase given that our FIRST ever interaction with Blake, in her TRAILER, is her changing her mind about her partner (and first romantic interest) and deciding to pursue a new journey. A scene which is actually referred back to in the Season 6 opener when Blake uncouples the train and sees what she believes to be a hallucination of a hooded Adam on the opposite carriage, foreshadowing the importance of that original decision later in the series (“you didn’t leave scars, you just left me, alone”). 

The arc that follows Blake thereafter is inherently tied to Adam (amongst other important themes), who is predominantly based off Gaston and the rose (or curse of the rose) from Beauty and the Beast. Blake and Yang are interchangeably alluded to as both Belle and the Beast throughout their character arcs from as early as the Red Trailer: “Black the beast descends from shadows / Yellow beauty burns gold.” and as recently as Blake describing Yang to the Hunter Mice in Vol. 9 Chapter 1. I can rhyme off these allusions until I’m blue, but again, I may save this for a master post.

The story that Blake is based on is a love triangle - she was never meant to have one set path from the beginning and romantic interests were always meant to play a huge part in Blake’s story/development; she was always going to have a romantic decision to make after conquering the curse / Gaston. Blake being haunted by her first romantic interest is foreshadowed in the ending of her trailer and first referenced in her conversation (with Yang) at Mountain Glen, and becomes an undeniable path of exploration once Yang loses her arm to Adam at the end of Volume 3. Let it be noted that Sun was present when Yang announced she was going to find Blake at the Battle of Beacon - a decision was made here for Yang to be the one to lose her arm protecting Blake, as was Adam’s poignant promise to take away everything Blake loves - “starting with [Yang]” or, otherwise, the solidifying of this romantic subplot. Which, again, is called back to with the infamous line: “What does she even see in you?” besides the obvious subtext, it’s setting the stage for these parallels between Adam and Yang, past and future, the previous love interest identifying something in Blake that used to be reserved for him, now directed towards Yang.

This season began with Blake declaring that Yang “seems scary, but isn’t”. Because, once Belle knows the Beast isn’t scary, she allows herself to fall in love (conveniently, this is said whilst walking through a fairy tale).

I could go into a big post about romantic foils and the ways in which Yang, Adam and Blake are all foils to each other but I might make a separate post instead for anyone new to the FNDM. Either way, I feel it’s worth mentioning as it’s Blake who directly compares Yang to a past love interest who was designed with semblances and characteristics that mirror each other. Point being, no one should be shocked that Blake has multiple interests given the character and fairy tale she’s based off and heavy allusions where Yang is concerned.

“Oh yeah, because Yang ‘literally purred at guys in their underwear’ Xiao Long and Blake ‘literally kissed a boy’ Belladonna are clearly bisexual because of [insert out of context reasons]” and “yes but Monty said...”

1. You mean... the one, and only one scene in 9 entire volumes where Yang shows any interest (albeit jokingly) in a guy, and the literal scene directly before she sees Blake from across the crowded room and proceeds to never express interest in men again? (Ignoring the very obvious implied trope here). And, in fact, only expresses interest in a woman from this point onwards? This is your frame of reference? Personally, I find it quite lovely that Yang’s perspective is never the same from the moment she sees Blake. Asides from this, while ‘bisexual’ is the label that these guys have gone with, Yang’s sexuality hasn’t been confirmed outside of being sapphic - it’s not outside the realm of possibility that she is, in all likelihood, lesbian. It’s important to note here that any young character expressing an interest in a man would not invalidate that same character being a lesbian. In fact, if we apply this to real life, it’s not uncommon for people not to realise that they’re queer immediately (I myself didn’t until I was 21). But in the opening episodes of the series especially, I’d very much chalk this up to writers exploring the characters.

2. As for Blake - there are, from what I remember, three kisses in the entire show so far. The one between Jaune and Pyrrha - on the lips after prolonged romantic allusions between the two (their romance is explicitly referenced by Nora - “practice what you preach, Pyrrha.” - almost fitting that it’s Nora to call out the Bees in Season 7 - A Night Off, no? Neat little parallel for y’all). The one between Ren and Nora after trying to work out the status of their romantic relationship - again, on the lips. And the one where Blake says goodbye (and thank you) to Sun by kissing him... On the cheek. (So hot, I know). Which is immediately followed up with Sun telling Neptune “it was never about that”. One of these is not like the other, can you guess which? I’ll wait.

As for referencing Monty - I could go on all day about this one, and the quote most notoriously used is ‘they’re a sisterhood’. Firstly, let me just say that I find it disturbing that anyone would use the show’s deceased creator as ammunition, whilst also disregarding his other comments on LGBT rep - specifically, ‘maybe there are LGBT characters there now / they’re just kids rn and figuring it out / it needs to be earned’. But also, it’s really disturbing and egotistical that anybody would pretend to know what Monty wanted better than the crew he handpicked, worked with, collaborated with and was friends with (special mention to the fact that his own brother is one of the cast). If you truly want to honour his legacy, then show respect to the people he put his trust in.

“I don’t have an issue with BB, but why does it always have to take away from Yang’s moments with Ruby?” / “All Yang’s feelings for her sister transferred to Blake.”

One from the hall of fame. The age old question of ‘can a girl have a romantic partner and still care about her family?’ I wish this wasn’t a serious question, but there are actual sides of the Fandom that seem to think that Yang’s forgotten about her sister that she raised because she has feelings for someone and that the sole purpose of Yang’s existence is to be her sister’s keeper.

I’mma address this on 3 fronts. 1 - Logistically, the episodes for RWBY, excluding the intros, are 15-20 mins long currently and typically oversee several different storylines particularly as the cast grows larger, leaving us with... What? About 5 minutes of team RWBY interactions? It’s not a lot of time to pack in character development, relationship development, plotline, strategy etc. so often if they’re wanting to develop more than one relationship, they will alternate between putting these themes in the background (such as the yellow in Blake’s sword, references from other characters etc.) and foreground, and some developments have to be shoulder-to-shoulder to fit them in. This isn’t an indicator of how much one character cares for one another and is more a demon created by people’s perception of how they ‘think’ a protective sister should act.

Additionally, it should be noted that Yang fawning over Ruby and not allowing her to develop other relationships outside of her sister, would actually offer us nothing from a development perspective for both Yang and Ruby’s characters and would, instead, steer these two strong female characters down a path of co-dependency. 

2 - It feels like a very easy excuse for Anti-BB folk to throw out there, conveniently forgetting how great of a sister Yang actually is (contrary to the number of RWDE videos I’ve seen arguing otherwise, as this is an essay I could write in itself). These very often take isolated incidents out of context and conveniently forget important information like Yang 1. Literally sacrificing herself twice to protect her sister 2. Sacrificing her entire childhood to raise her sister and 3. Importantly, the fact that Ruby is her (self-sufficient) Team Leader needs to be factored into their dynamic, as Yang gives her space to find herself as a leader and steps in when her sister actually needs her - not when the audience thinks she does. People hear ‘protectiveness’ and seem to think that this should mean that Yang should be overbearing. 

3 - Anyone who says this doesn’t have siblings. I have older and younger siblings and, having largely raised my younger sibling, I can safely say that I still love them even when I’m in a relationship. I also feel extremely secure in arguing/disagreeing with any of my siblings because I inherently know they will still be there at the end of the day - a sibling love goes deep (referencing ‘Fault’ from Volume 8). However, in a romantic relationship that is not established and very new... you will feel insecure, that’s normal, it doesn’t have the luxury of established stability that siblings do, and therefore you will overtly express more anxiety about this as a result. It’s a very strange concept that if you have a sibling, you need to give them all of your attention and ignore any love interests. Yang has gone through her own traumas, she has every right to care about others, heal herself, and have a life that isn’t defined by being a caretaker for her sister. ESPECIALLY as she already gave up her childhood to fulfil this role, unselfishly AND as the person she’s bonding with is best poised to understand Yang’s trauma. Yang as a character deserves to receive the love she constantly gives out. Again, this is a demon born from the fact that it either doesn’t reflect the relationship commentors have with their siblings, or the fact that they’re *imagining* how that relationship should be.

Bonus picture below: Yang putting aside her anguish for Summer Rose, who she considered to be her mother, to prioritise comforting her sister about that same loss.

“I hate BB shippers because they pass off BS interactions as platonic. BS made more sense, there was no build-up to BB until Vol 6 and they let the BS build-up go to waste to force BB.”

First off, there’s nothing wrong with BlackSun as a ship. Shipping shouldn’t be dictated by canonicity and people have the right to ship it and to their opinions. And while a few of these seem to have referenced BS, I don’t actually think that BS shippers are at fault for the hatred coming this way, but rather that the ship seems to get used as ammunition from the Anti-BB crowd - to summarise, Anti-BB and BS shippers are not synonymous. I personally don’t ship BS, but I do enjoy the debate and actually think that Sun is a very important part of Blake’s development and arc. There did seem to be some form of mutual attraction between Blake and Sun. Had they gone down that route, I wouldn’t have hated it, I just never felt excited by it, which seems to be a large consensus amongst BB fans. An appreciation whilst feeling there was a better alternative.

Believing all the development between Sun and Blake was ‘wasted’ is also very closed-minded given how much he helped Blake in the White Fang arc and also disregards the importance of their friendship. BS has the potential to be one of the best and most supportive friendships in the series, I stand by that.

That said, I don’t think it’s entirely wrong to acknowledge that a lot of (not all) interactions between BS were platonic from Blake’s pov while Sun’s feelings were more explicit. The only real hint I saw of Blake reciprocating was a blush at the Vytal festival. Maybe the dance at a stretch, but there’s hints at both BS and BB and I will fight you on it. Now, it might be a question of timing; Adam was still a prevalent threat during this time which will have been weighing on Blake given the resurgence of the White Fang, and is clear when Adam rocks up seeking vengeance in Volume 3. For this reason, I honestly think it would have been disingenuous to have explored Blake in a full relationship with anyone at this point given these loose ends, and Blake undergoes a lot of development over volumes 4-6 as a direct result of this.

Additionally, if BB didn’t begin until Volume 6 then that means that BS had 4-5 volumes to happen - 2 of which where they were in their own arc, separated from the main cast. It didn’t happen. What happens instead is Blake’s guilt over Yang weighs heavily on her while she deals with her arc and Sun helps her come to terms with this, ultimately redirecting her back to her team, and Yang, while Sun’s interactions with her become increasingly platonic from his side.

Lastly, the only way you don’t see build up for BB, is if you actively will yourself not to see build-up. If you replace Blake and Yang’s moments with Sun, I don’t feel there’d be any misunderstandings on how these moments are supposed to be interpreted. Take off the hetero goggles, and we’re cool. 

But on a sidenote and personal pet peeve of mine, the cries of ‘BB is forced while BS had build-up’ will forever irritate me - BB has a slow burn, a full arc, developed from a friendship and partnership as well as several tropes and allusions without going into too much detail. BS, firstly, never ended up happening, but it starts when Sun runs past, winks at Blake, magically knows she’s a faunus, then proceeds to follow around a girl he doesn’t know for two days who, at his own admission, didn’t speak that whole time. But... BB is forced? I’d say it’s subjective, but logic defies when this is the barometer for a natural introduction of a romantic pair.

“BB is ‘queerbait’”

Let’s address the ‘Goliath’ in the room, shall we? ‘Queerbaiting’ gets thrown around like a reflex at the moment by pseudo-fans who I don’t believe actually know the gravity of their statements or the meaning behind the word. I often see this slur paired with BB being strung out to keep the shippers watching. Now, there’s an essay in itself that could exist in this section, but are people really still clowning themselves that a show that’s explicitly shown that it wants to have queer representation in the cast and foreground is ‘queerbaiting’ it’s audience? Even weirder for me is the part of the FNDM saying that it’ll be baiting if they make BB canon. Please stop this nonsense and do some research.

Now, one thing I would like to tackle is that, sadly, some will still see pairings on the show through heteronormative glasses, so let me use that here. If the pair were a m/f couple and had several seasons of development and increasingly intimate moments, there would be no doubt in anyone’s mind that 1. It was heading in the direction of canon and 2. That it was a slow burn romance that’s building to its’ climax. Interestingly, the show actually does use the hetero goggles to frame BB on several occasions by paralleling this budding romance with several straight ships such as Arkos and Renora. Why? Because this is a narrative technique often used by writers to frame LGBT romances to separate them from ‘just friendships’ and, let’s face it, use an unconscious heteronormative bias to their advantage.

“BB is badly written, they barely interacted in volumes 1-3 then didn’t speak for two volumes.”

Tickle me pink. Volumes 1-3 are a very strange reference point for ‘in-depth’ development between characters. Crumbs, sure. The odd scene, absolutely. But let’s be real here - the show started as a low budget web series with an onus on cool fighting scenes and, most importantly, the episodes were around 5 minutes long whilst entertaining teams RWBY and JNPR, the White Fang, the Vytal tournament and several other plots. Nobody particularly interacted much but the writers did the best they could with what they had and the rest is left to us, the audience, to interpret that relationships are developing off-screen. Though from a critique POV in the interest of fairness, I would say the current season is a breath of fresh air by re-focusing the plot on the central characters as I think the show can sometimes be guilty of taking on too many plotlines.

As for volumes 4-5, while they’re in different continents, it’s obvious that they’re prevalent in each other’s arcs. Whether it’s Yang admitting she’s struggling with Blake’s abandonment - in the same episode the first lesbian character is revealed confessing their feelings to Blake (sidenote, all of team RWBY left Yang, and it’s Blake she’s mad at, this was always meant to be framed differently to her other teammates and IMO the struggle they go through is meant to frame the characters coming to terms with the depth of what they mean to each other), the parallels of them both getting onto the ship (named ‘Pride’ - wink wink), or Blake actively struggling to talk about Yang, yet referencing it when Sun is hurt (“Not again!”) showing it’s at the forefront of her mind. All of which culminates in their reunion in the Vol 5 finale.

Is it the best writing ever? No, nothing’s perfect. But they do explicitly use parallels throughout the series to drive the narrative forward as a foreshadowing tool to strengthen subplots.

“Blake being bisexual makes no sense - she was interested in Sun, it just seems so out of the blue, she and Yang just seemed like friends to me.”

Funny, because she and Sun seemed like friends to me too.

There are so many things I wanted to fire back at this, from the insinuation that if a woman first shows interest in a man then it’s out of the blue that she’s bisexual now that she’s showing interest in a woman... Like, how do you think it happens for bisexuals IRL?! Did you want her to burst onto the scene in Volume 1, announce she likes men and women, and then express explicit simultaneous interest in both of them? Start a harem? Proposition a throuple?

This particular take amuses me most of all as someone who is very openly bisexual. Yes, she and Yang seemed like friends. Great friends, in fact. That hold hands and blush and want to spend all their time together. And check each other out when the other isn’t looking. And make excuses for casual physical contact and flirt and giggle like a couple of giddy teenagers. Just like me and my ‘best friend’ did, before I realised I was bi. I’m sure that a lot of people thought it came out of the blue for me too. Blake being oblivious to being bisexual until it becomes too obvious to ignore is actually a very realistic scenario.

Bonus headline - just because you don’t understand/identify with something, doesn’t mean that it’s not good representation or realistic. I feel it’s also important to mention Blake’s VA, Arryn Zech, is bisexual and has spoken numerous times on the matter. The reason I bring this up is because it’s clear that the way in which the bisexuality of her character is presented on the show is actually something that’s incredibly important to Arryn - because good representation is significant. 

Presenting labels and sexuality on Remnant: A Theory and - “BB is a terrible representation of LGBT and your critique ignores the female and LGBT people that have spoken out against it.”

They say, to someone who is both female and LGBT. Credit to the Anon who charged into my inbox to accuse me of the above - hope you enjoy. Now, there’s a couple of things I’d like to cover before I go into how sexuality is perceived in-universe. The first is that if you use this argument against someone who is queer without seeing the belligerent hypocrisy of your statement, please check yourself as, clearly, you only care about LGBT voices on representation when it aligns with your own rhetoric and ready to dismiss any narrative to the contrary from that same community.

Secondly,  the queer/LGBT community is a vast and vibrant community of *individuals* with their own opinions and own voices. I didn’t nominate anyone to speak on my behalf, just as I don’t speak on the behalf of the rest of the community. Moreover, any art is open to interpretation. My opinion does not override theirs, nor does their opinion erase my own. And, believe it or not, it’s quite possible to have two or more differing opinions within one community without being at war with one another. I respect their opinion, just as I hope they respect mine.

We clear? Great. Onto the analysis! Huge shoutout to @crimsonxe​ for the brilliant discussion and assistance with the analysis in the comments that helped me construct this section! You’re awesome.

Let’s dive in with the headline - Homophobia doesn’t appear to be an issue on Remnant and labels don’t appear to exist, in the sense that it doesn’t appear anywhere in-universe. Now just to pre-emptively disclaimer: this may change, but in 9 volumes and however many supplementary materials, we’ve not heard any labels or had any representation of this type of discrimination. If that changes, I’ll happily remove this. 

So why is this important, you ask? Ultimately, when you take away the inherent ‘fear’ that a lot of the LGBT community face IRL along with prevalent ignorance towards the community and society’s insistence on labelling sexualities and gender identity, it creates a world divorced from our own and is, from a narrative point of view, a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it allows the characters to explore themselves in a non-discriminatory environment that is inherently more fluid and free, whilst the audience will inevitably want to compare that to their own experiences. But we can’t - not properly - due to the still very real stigma and discrimination that exists in our own world. Instead, what we see are characters who express an interest in other characters and find other ways to allude to their preferences or identity. A prime example of this would be May, canonically a trans character, who does not use this term in-world but instead says, “To the Marigolds that meant I wasn’t their son, and I made sure everyone knew I wasn’t their daughter.” This is a theme that is poignantly reflected in the accompanying media for the series - such as the books; for instance, Coco, canonically lesbian, referring to “breaking the hearts of many women.”

How does this tie into the relationship with Blake and Yang? Glad you asked. If you bear in mind that Remnant has a very fluid outlook on sexuality and more of a ‘love who you love’ ethos which is blind to gender norms, it immediately subverts the assumption that interactions between m/f are romantic while f/f are platonic. It’s an open field, if you will. BB is a steady build from partner/best friend (though I’d argue that at least Yang had an immediate attraction, with Blake figuring herself out) with interactions that become increasing more intimate. Eye rolls and jokes become winks and innuendo (“I love it when you’re feisty!”), nudges become intimate hugs (Burning the Candle), become hand-holding (it isn’t coincidence that these two have held hands more than any other pair in the series), becomes pining, blushing, forehead touches (BB and Renora - remember those parallels), which evolves into flirting and... More. And yes, some of their interactions will still resemble the friendship they built their foundations on. But in a world where labels don’t exist, that journey from friend-to-lover is much more subtle and embedded in a gentle upwards curve of increasing intimacy.

“BB is only happening because the horrible BB fans demanded it, the show caved and gave in to the toxic fanbase, it wasn’t planned from the beginning.”

I’ve seen this in so many places, like a broken record. I have no doubt that there are BB fans that are fanatical, and I’d never justify the behaviour of any so-called fan that resorts to death threats or violence in any way. I’m hoping this surely must be a minority that has, hopefully, shrunk over the years as the audience has matured. However, this also really isn’t how shows work... 

As many have pointed out in recent weeks, the show would be a very different landscape altogether if CRWBY were, in fact, that easily swayed by fans; namely, I’m thinking of Clover/Qrow, Pyrrha, Penny etc. While I don’t doubt that show-makers pay attention to the fanbase where needed and where it’ll be beneficial (seeing how fans react to developments, if allusions are clear etc.), sending death threats or whatever is actually much more counterproductive than anything else. But also... You’re not on the crew, you’re not part of those discussions. I feel confident that Miles, Kiersi and Kerry aren’t writing BB content with a gun to their head.

Lastly, the ‘it wasn’t planned from the beginning’ war cry is a tale as old as time. Like Beauty and the Beast. (See what I did there?) Asides from the fact that 1. Yang and Blake were actually the first created out of the team, and made with each other in mind, regardless of in what context (check out the original character designs/concepts) 2. Even if it wasn’t planned from the beginning, what difference does it make? There are tonnes of examples where the writers have felt the chemistry between two characters as the story’s gone on and decided to put them together (case-in-point from outside the anime world.. Chandler and Monica from Friends). In fact, while some writers like to plan every element of their plot from the beginning, there’s a great many writers who allow the characters to steer the plot as they grow - especially arcs with romantic undertones. The series was made predominantly for the action - it’s not a romantic series, so if they didn’t plan it from the beginning that wouldn’t be unusual, especially given that the episodes of the first few volumes are literally 5-10 minutes long. But regardless of whether the romance of the two was planned or not planned, it does not make it any less meaningful.

But let’s be real, the issue at heart isn’t that they weren’t sucking face in the first 3 seasons, it’s that they thought Blake would be with a guy, and she chose a girl. To which I say... Get over your bruised ego, and move on.

“BB fans deserve the hate they get because of x, y, z and cos it has toxic shippers.”

And you’re... Not... Toxic? If you’re an Anti-BB shipper and go out of your way to stalk and comment on BB tags/accounts just to harass shippers etc, then are you any better than the toxic fans you supposedly hate? To me, following BB tags and looking at BB content whilst being an Anti-BB shipper is so weird, why you trying to hurt your own feelings?

Also, saying that innocent shippers who are just living their best life should bear the burden of the toxic FNDM, is literally the definition of tarring everyone with the same brush. Some of us just want to eat our crumbs in peace, and from our POV, you’re the toxic ones being disrespectful. Bonus point: others being toxic does not give you licence to be hateful to anyone you come across that doesn’t agree with you.

“I’m no longer watching the show cos it’s trying too hard to be ‘woke’”

This ain’t an airport, you don’t need to announce your departure. But since you are, if your issue is the gay representation in the show then wake up and look around... We’re everywhere. The show is literally just reflecting the diversity you see day-to-day; but you keep sipping that haterade, my dude, we’re here to stay.

#anti rwde #rwby analysis #bumbleby #rwby

[annislittleshopofhorrors]

We all see that she even tries to leave behind and ignore the films that may not do well. Maybe she has changed and improved. She is in a relationship with a man who is more experienced. Both in life and at work. She may have learned a lot from Chris. And she is trying to get better...//

Margs here, late night rant. (Post at your own discretion, friend). Uhhhhh. What is this? Are you forgetting MHGTP and her peak show WN? MH did well in getting attention for fashion/costuming. WN she was the lead character who was supposed to be a bad ass. While they might not have been critical successes, she failed to truly invest in the projects as far as overall promotion. Sure there are interviews, one premiere- but she dropped these projects like a bad habit …and the fact…the glaring fact that her coworkers were happy to put the time into it made a big difference. It comes off as selfish and entitled from her side. Idk if the goal is to just…stop acting…..but if it’s to learn from Chris, I’ve got some bad news. He didn’t want to do cap. He doesn’t want to direct anymore. (We think). He doesn’t want to produce. He turned down really good roles in favor of mediocre ones…and for the money. If it’s to stop acting…well that’s funny too, bc remember when Chris was like “wah wah if I didn’t act, idk WHAT I would do” 😂😂🤷🏻‍♀️sounds like he true love has helped him really explore his potential.

I really fail to see where she’s getting better. She doesn’t invest in the people that invest in her (and I mean from a public front. Which just seems odd). Why even have a dumb Instagram if all you’re going to do is delete negative comments about yourself and let your bf do all the heavy lifting….so you can benefit by looking good? What did she learn? Not to contribute bc she’s garbage? You notice she’s v concerned with how things look. I won’t shame a photoshopped waist. Who GAF. but defending her moms age (when no one asked her to), doubling down re: yoga certificate (when no one asked her to), attempting to post her noods then getting an article about it (that no one saw), asking her FANS. HER. FANS to take down pics she’s not happy with, having her own mother claiming her shutting down IG was to improve things (and it’s not true) like…for someone who is learning….she’s awful concerned with how she’s perceived, but to like an odd level in my opinion. Trust me when she grows up and her balls drop, she won’t GAF. But to say she’s learning and growing i just 😂 did alba just write her own GD ask so we can take her seriously?

**I realize me writing this dissertation means I’m paying attention in any case. But don’t get it twisted. I am a disgusted fan, who is scooting out the door So 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

I really love your late night rant (when I'm having lunch 😅). What really gets me is how she treated her fans. Her fans spent money on her and the only thing she could do was posting a tweet. And this this was not long time ago - "trying to get better" my ass 🙄

[souryogurt64]

So I love your anons and they seem to have A KNOWLEDGE I NEED SO

I need to know everything there is on ryan ross like,,, pls help a guy out I felt like i knew much bc I joined the fandom in 2012 but as the "break of panic" happened i see people talking so much things about ryan that i didn't know and im just confused???? Stalker accident????? He cut pete off his life in 2009????? He was/is abusing drugs??? What was his actual relation with brendon??? Like I feel i need to know in order to understand him as an artist more and also stop being out of loop lmaoo

So yeah,,If there's any masterdoc on ryan ross,,,, anything pls share😭

Stalker: There was an incident where a girl allegedly impersonated Brendon to Ryan and was texting him for something like 6-9 months posing as his former bandmate and acting as a friend/supporter. She was doing this with the goal of "proving Ryden." It was a massive violation of Ryan's privacy and a genuinely horrific thing that happened. It kind of climaxed in "Brendon" inviting Ryan to Brendon's wedding and then obviously the real Brendon and Spencer didn't let Ryan in and the whole thing started to fall apart.

It is my understanding that she told some friends and the friends tried to contact Panic!'s management to deal with the situation but were not taken seriously/ignored and generally dismissed as crazy/lying. At that point, they went public with all of the receipts and there was a big fandom campaign to get Panic!'s team to deal with it which is why everyone knows what was said in the texts. She ended up supposedly getting banned permanently from concerts/M&Gs and had to write apology letters so the band didn't take legal action.

Right after everything came out Ryan posted some concerning photos on social media of blood smears in his bathroom.

Since then, there have been persistent rumors the ban was never actually enacted, that Brendon's wife was enabling her to some unknown extent, and the private photos she had supposedly got by "hacking" were actually sent to her by Brendon's wife. I have no idea if this is true, but it's just a persistent rumor that I think originates from the original people who blew the top off of it.

Anyway, as for everything else, this is from my Panic! dissertation.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN: “DREAMER’S STAR WAS FALLING”

That is probably more context, history, and backstory than anyone could have ever wanted regarding the events that led to the signing of Panic! at the Disco to Pete Wentz’s Decaydance record label. But… You’re probably still wondering what became of our sleepover princes.

The band—and Ryan Ross’ relationship with Pete Wentz—would not make it to the end of 2009. At first, all seemed well. In February of that year, Ross conducted a phone interview where he stated that Panic! was working on a new album; he and Wentz would have a “sleepover” that same month. (Via cross-referencing questionable clothing decisions, paparazzi photos, and Wentz’s Twitter account, we can determine this sleepover would coincide with the aforementioned video of Ross, Wentz, and Simpson drunkenly stumbling to a vehicle). During this sleepover, Ross was—according to Wentz—quoting Oscar Wilde.

A MTV article also written by James Montgomery immediately post-split would proclaim, “Ross…considers [Urie and Smith] to be his friends …The same cannot be said, however, about his former boss — Decaydance Records honcho / Fall Out Boy bassist Pete Wentz — who seems to have clearly aligned himself with the Urie/Smith camp following the split.” Despite the fact that Wentz supposedly did not respond to requests for comment, and Ross was quoted as saying he wasn’t sure if his new band would be on Decaydance, Montgomery would go on to assert that “[Ross’] relationship with Wentz might be finished.” In case you aren’t getting what I’m insinuating here, Montgomery wrote in 2008 that, ““I have no problem saying that [Wentz is] my friend except that… by saying that, I’m basically breaking every guideline in the “Ethical Journalist” handbook.”

Following Panic! at the Disco’s breakup, Ross would go on to start short-lived project The Young Veins; he was interviewed by MTV regarding the project approximately around 2010. In this interview, Ross appears more doe-eyed, spindly, and unsure than ever; the caustic facade he sported during Pretty. Odd. era interviews is gone, replaced by accommodating, mild-mannered precariousness. In his curious affectation that is the “phlegmatic drawl he must have acquired reciting countless Our Fathers in Catholic parochial school”— its desperate smoothness, pretension, and faux-poise doing little to hide the anxiety revealed by his constant twisting— Ross would profess that, “Some of the differences between major and indie labels is that when I call the indie label, they answer the phone….When you can’t really trust people in this business, it’s nice to have that.” Obviously, the major label Ryan Ross was on belonged to Pete Wentz.

The Young Veins did not do well commercially, either—they peaked at position 40 on the US Indie chart. In 2019, Ryan Ross said that The Young Veins was “The first thing in [his] career that didn’t go right” and having the band “fall through so quickly” caused him to struggle. Ross, who stayed away from substances until he was nearly 21, had begun drinking, was rumored to be using drugs, and was frequently losing money playing blackjack.

Ross was not only struggling to succeed commercially; he was struggling to take care of himself, too. Prior to the dissolution of her relationship with Ross, Keltie Colleen wrote that she did everything for him, such as laundry, bills, and sending his family birthday cards. A 2008 Kerrang! interview would also highlight Ross’ inability to manage his own life to the point of his hot water and electricity being shut off for several weeks (and his cell phone being regularly cut off) due to forgetting to pay his bills. Colleen also wrote that Ross struggled to properly care for his dog, Hobo. Ross seemed aware of, yet largely indifferent to this; in one interview, he carelessly drawled from behind a giant pair of sunglasses, “[Hobo] sometimes doesn’t get fed. Or she smells bad.” Ross and Colleen’s relationship, as depicted in her novel, ended due to Ross’ unfaithfulness. Colleen wrote, “…The history of rock music is littered with bodies of incredibly talented people who thought they could deal with the alcohol, drugs, and everything else the lifestyle offered without it changing them…. [Ryan Ross], who despised everything about the music industry, let it eat him alive…”.

An incredibly brutal review of a Young Veins show written by James Montgomery would summarize the overall vibes of that period in Ross’ life. Montgomery wrote that he “couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for [the band]” and “[he] had such high hopes for [Ross]… [but he] had squandered all that potential” and that “it was, for all intents and purposes, [over for Ryan Ross].” Though the piece did speak quite favorably of The Young Veins’ record, and did hold out a bit of hope for the band, it would end with, “[Ryan Ross is] fumbling and stumbling to the beat of his own drummer now. Who cares about the future when you’ve got the past?”. The Young Veins would announce an indefinite hiatus in December 2010; their Wikipedia page states that, “The Young Veins was a rock band…”.

As Ryan Ross’ flame sputtered, Pete Wentz was suffering from his own issues. Wentz told Rolling Stone that by the time of Fall Out Boy’s 2009 hiatus announcement (not-so-coincidentally the same year Ross departed Panic! alongside guitarist Jon Walker), “I was in such a haze of selfishness and pills it was hard to believe I could feel anything.” Later, FOB would cite mental health strain as one of the factors leading up to the decision. Wentz would reveal to Rolling Stone that, following Fall Out Boy’s hiatus, he suffered from paranoia and anxiety so extreme he had his house searched for cameras, and fell back on his old habits of abusing Xanax and Klonopin.

However, Fall Out Boy rose from the ashes and back to the charts in 2013, with Pete Wentz telling Rolling Stone he was in a much better place emotionally; he cited therapy and his desire to be present for his child as giving him the desire to manage his mental health.

Meanwhile, after the dissolution of The Young Veins and a few brief, half-hearted stabs at a solo career, Ross would, ultimately, feel that “[The attention and the fame] was overwhelming” and “[have] a little bit of a mental breakdown.” This was triggered by the commercial and interpersonal failure of The Young Veins and Ross realizing that, “Oh, not everything [I] do turns to gold.” Eventually, this would send Ross on a spiral that would temporarily land him in AA meetings.

[moonjxsung]

pls brain either keep doing mini skz fics in my dreams or stop altogether bc every time i wake up from one i can’t think straight😪

and frrr with religious trauma!! my religious trauma doesn’t even revolve around my fam forcing religion on me but like everyone else around me. my mother in law is super catholic and im not baptized so for like a year or two in our relationship she was trying to get me to get baptized. and in a way i’ve always thought of doing it bc of my guilt but i don’t want to do it by force, yk?

so yeah i guiltily love stories that contain blasphemous aspects!! (juno has an anon that wrote priest!hyune🛐). so almost having sex with changbin at a church was top tier. i still think about it all the time. i also dreamt that i dryhumped jeongin at a church once at minho’s orders🛐🛐🛐.

and let’s be honest!!! jisung would love blasphemous sex bc bro is the biggest freak (idk if he’s religious or not bc he’s made like references about jesus and has a jesus shirt) so it’s either a humor thing or religious but either way he’d love it but maybe with a lil guilt too. i think you’d write a fantastic blasphemous sexy story but i get the apprehension as well.

past lives is so good! im so glad your mom enjoyed it! i cried sooooo much as well. it’s such an interesting story. and so beautifully written and directed too. (my bf spent the whole movie saying yoo teo looks like an older version of taehyung and i cannot unsee it).

and i am also so keeping up with 🦢🧡🌙 and star drama and im living for it. my fav long-term storytelling.

the fact that you said that you’d read a dissertation from me, im crying. ilysm bb💜

-🐈‍⬛

No I totally get that! It should be on your terms and whenever you feel ready!

TW below the cut: long blurb about my impending religious trauma 🫶 (seriously if anyone struggles with religious trauma please proceed with caution lol)

I struggle so bad with religious ocd which is strange because I grew up attending church and I was baptized AND confirmed into my church so I was a very active participant and my parents never forced anything on me, but in college when I began questioning specifics and taking lots of science courses I became like a raging atheist and I would get so annoyed whenever religion was brought up and I just shut it out completely. Navigating my sexuality and just being a young adult and not understanding religion/feeling very detached from it was super difficult. And then in sophomore year of college was when I began getting really bad religious themed intrusive thoughts (I won’t bore you with the details) but basically I began developing ocd rituals that began to take a toll on my physical health and I was hospitalized twice for it and put on medication for about 5 years (I stopped about one year ago now!) and I felt like it was God punishing me in a sense. For 2 years straight I could hardly leave my house without feeling like I was under the watchful eye of a higher power and I would keep a BIBLE in my purse, it got so bad that I quit my job and almost took a year off college just to to engage in my ocd rituals 😭 luckily I had a really good support system so I got intensive therapy and I was really close to a writing professor of mine who was very understanding about it and encouraged me to write about what I was feeling so I have notebooks full of my 5 year struggle with religion and it was just…….. not fun LOL

Luckily I’m much better now (I still struggle with it, just not to a debilitating extent!) and I think that’s where a lot of the attraction to blasphemy comes from, because I already have been funneling my religious guilt into writing for so long and I already write smut after being so sexually repressed as a result of my medication (and fear that god was going to punish me for exploring my sexuality) so I think combining the two would be a fairly easy task. I’m always just worried that if I spiral again I’m going to equate it to my writing and blame myself 😭 BUT if you guys ever see themes of religious guilt in my writing, that’s a little backstory to it because it’s a huge part of my personal identity and I think it’s going to follow me around forever. ALSO THE JISUNG BIT…… I could so see him in a blasphemy themed story, he so gives off church crush vibes 😭😭😭😭 my brain is FUZZY I may very well have to write something about it 👼

I still need to get around to watching Past Lives BUT it seems so good and tragic from what I’ve heard!! I personally love media with sad endings too, it just scratches an itch on my brain 😭

Also thank you for keeping up with 🧡🌙🦢 drama we are a chaotic MESS right now……. I think I’m technically cheating on so many of my virtual partners right now (I still love u all) but their silly little messages keep me going fr

I love u so much pookie!!!! Also of COURSE I would read a dissertation by you it would be FANTASTIC like all your messages always are 👼💓🩷💕 I hope you’re having the best day ily ily

#🐈‍⬛ anon #ask

[azurelyy]

Aside from narusaku, what other ships do you like a lot ? It could be canon or even non canon ones

Hi there, Nonnie! Thank you very much for the ask!

So, I have answered a similar question here, but I am not sure if you mean Naruto specific ships or not?

To be perfectly honest with you, the only two SHIPS I have from Naruto are NaruSaku and ShikaIno. I LIKE other ships, but I don't SHIP them - ya feel me? I feel like, when I ship something, that means that I am thinking about them constantly every day. They haunt all over my what ifs, they linger within song lyrics and books I read... And I don't FEEL all those things with every pair I like in Naruto except for those two.

That being said, since your question specified ships I like a lot, then it wouldn't be a complete answer without going into detail on a few other, non-Naruto ships that are some of my OTPs. 💗

Zutara (Zuko x Katara - Avatar):

They are my all-time, number one OTP - forever and always. I will be a 70-year-old Zutara shipper, discussing the discourse and trajectory of their relationship. I will never, ever stop thinking about these two. They are seriously the couple that made be believe in parallel universes - because there is simply NO FUCKING WAY that they wrote all that development into the show for it to not go anywhere - there's definitely a universe adjacent to ours where Zutara is canon and I don't care what the stipulation of living in that universe might be, I want to go there lol.

Clerith (Cloud x Aerith - FF7):

I think you guys will see a trend in that I don't actually prefer friends to lovers as much as people might assume considering I ship NaruSaku lol. ANYWAYS, these two are fucking phenomenal and hurt me in the best ways. I think about them constantly. I rewatch videos I've made about them, rewatch videos others have made about them. I read fanfiction and consume posts about them like my life depends on it. The remake definitely reinvigorated my love for them and I think it added some much needed development that I LOVE but that also FUCKING HURTS MY SOUL. "I'm coming for you." THAT IS ALL. 😭😭😭

Dramione (Draco x Hermione - Harry Potter):

It's not a complete list of ships I like a lot without including the OG ship, one of the first I can remember having. Say whatever the fuck you want - I will sink with them. There is undeniable sexual tension here, and if "She who must not be named" had given Draco similar development to what Zuko had (he was SO CLOSE, just needed a few extra bits and bobs here and there)... I MEAAAAANNNNN... I think that's all I have to say! It also really hurts me knowing Emma Watson had a crush on Tom Felton... like ndfbsjdhfnksjd. They also had chemistry on-screen which didn't help my obsession with the pair... The punch scene? Iconic as fuck lmao.

Honorable Mentions (Ships I also love and could write whole dissertations about:

Spuffy (Spike x Buffy - Buffy)

Roy x Riza (FMA Brotherhood)

Harmony (Harry x Hermione - HP)

MiroSan (Miroku x Sango - InuYahsa)

InuKago (InuYasha x Kagome - InuYasha)

Delena (Damon x Elena - Vampire Diaries)

Klaroline (Caroline x Klaus - Vampire Diaries)

#ask away #azurelyy scribbles #zutara #clerith #dramione #spuffy #roy x riza #klaroline #harmony #delena #narusaku #shikaino

[vacantgodling]

hanzo

you’ve asked about the behemoth you’ve unlocked the gates—

Sexuality Headcanon: gay gay homosexual gay. i think hanzo’s sexuality in my mind teeters from him being so casual about it that you’d think he’s always known (imo he has) or it’s a source of a lot of grief because of the expectations of the head of the clan to bear children (imo it is).

so, to me, he knows he likes men, and he’s too straightforward to deny it, and in his time wandering he’s sought out quickies with men, but i also think it’s a source of stress and shame for him. esp if you get into any of my transzo headcanons the territory gets even messier. but at the same time i can see him being divorced from the desires of the clan as he gets older. like once he gets to 35 he’s kind of like i mean, fuck it—it’s already been some time and i want what i want so it is what it is. i seriously think trauma+his personality make him struggle in developing like actual close relationships in general let alone romantic ones but he is gay and he wants to be with a dude romantically to Me.

Gender Headcanon: tbh i headcanon transzo more often than ciszo but i do tend to write ciszo more often it’s weird lol. but i think it would be an interesting angle to explore if the clan kind of influenced him to be a man and unpacking his struggles with that but ultimately deciding that he’s a man on his own terms but that’s brain rot thoughts for three am—

A ship I have with said character: the only hanzo ship i have and ever will have is with cassidy. otp for life.

i think a lot of the reason i don’t ship hanzo with other characters (largest contender could be bap but i think he and genji or niran work better) is just realistically because when i put their stories and traumas side by side they have the most opportunity to really gain something out of being with one another. what they gain is understanding: someone who gets them on their roughest days, who can talk them down from a panic attack, who they can share a look with and just understand. the chemistry is there physically (see the “pretty handy with that bow” & “good looks are not enough” voicelines which STILL drive me insane by the way — and yes i know hanzo says the good looks are not enough kill line to several people HOWEVER it confirms that he’s only into men for me because he’s ONLY ever said that line to men. i think he only says it to cassidy, reinhardt, and baptiste that i’ve heard? usually when i play hanzo it is a CLUSTERFUCK and i’m SWEATING so there may be more that i’ve missed but he only says it to men confirmed. That and his va being gay is definitely 👀 but that’s a whole other convo).

they would never let the other one get away with their shit, but at the same time they like to pretend their loners when they desperately crave to be understood and have someone to lean on. i think when it comes down to it baptiste is almost TOO adjusted. he and han are similar in that they’ve done things in their past they’re not proud of, but baptiste isn’t running from it; he’s actively trying to make a difference and make it better and in many ways i don’t think hanzo is there yet, and more than likely he’d probably compare himself to bap and feel like he’s not good enough to even stand by him as a friend or coworker let alone romantic interest. similarly COULD be said about cass but there’s something about him that’s extremely disarming to hanzo i feel like.

i could wax poetics about their relationship for deadass fucking hours however i am going to move on before this becomes an entire dissertation.

A BROTP I have with said character: the one that appears in cage is hana and hanzo! i think their friendship is cute, helpful, elder brother/uncle with younger sister/niece energy. basically everything kiriko will never be LMAO. a lot of the reason i do care about this friendship so much kind of stems from my own headcanons about hana and her story which are entirely deviated from canon and WILL make an appearance in cage later on. but i think the two of them are more alike than it would initially seem—hana’s just better adjusted and more outgoing than hanzo. and every fic i’ve ever read that has them as friends has made me emo.

A NOTP I have with said character: hanzo with anyone who isn’t cassidy LMAO.

if i am serious though, hanzo and akande? like bro i understand enemies to lovers and corruption arc are popular ship tropes but i want hanzo to be well fed, well fucked, safe and happy and with akande that would not happen lmao. i don’t think he has the delicacy and tact to manage to break through han’s barriers and to love him genuinely or tender and i think hanzo (clearly) has trauma around authority so akande trying to take the lead in their relationship would be so fucking rough. like it’s toxic and while toxic relationships can be fun to write it ain’t fun for me because hanzo’s the love of my life and i want the best for him 😭

A random headcanon: HANZO IS INTO VISUAL KEI AND I WILL DIE ON THIS FUCKING HILL FUCK BLIZZARD FOR GIVING KIRIKO THAT VKEI SKIN ITS BOTH BAD AND HAN DESERVES IT MORE FUCK YALL SO MUCH. you mean to tell me that this broody angsty s.o.b wouldn’t be into the gazette?? buck tick????? x japan??? dir en grey???? kill yourself like i’m biting and maiming. i think he’d be more into the grungier and darker groups tbh like more of a dir en grey fan bc of their lyricism and imagery… and it’s also lowkey one of the (many) reasons why cage is named cage. cuz cage is a dir en grey song lmao.

General Opinion over said character: he’s the love of my life. like i have never connected with nor been as obsessed with than hanzo and i’m going to go to my grave loving this man. seriously considering getting a shimada clan tattoo just bc i love hanzo so fucking much (i’m just broke) and he consumes my thoughts just as much as hya lmao.

#ff: cage #about renjamin

[sewercentipede]

love that I can write 10 walls of text like a whole dissertation about my lifetime of dealing w my parents’ abuse and cruelty and neglect, and my husband will read all of it and respond to all of it with thoughtful and empathetic and loving kindness and understanding he never gets annoyed by any of it he’s just so caring

it feels amazing to — after a lifetime of being treated like shit, abused (verbally emotionally financially and physically), dismissed, belittled, criticized, shamed, blamed, traumatized to where i lived my whole childhood until I was 20 (when i legit just had enough, packed what I could fit in my now-husbands car one night, and ran away to live w him) in a constant state of fight/flight and fear of what kind of retaliation/punishment I’d face for every single action I’d take or thing I’d say however benign — find and have a life partner who makes me feel safe and secure and heard and loved and lets me make mistakes because he meets my mistakes with understanding and love and empathy and treats them as teaching moments instead of moments of terrifying trauma and blame shame punishment etc.

I’m still, even after almost 8 years of being with him, regularly amazed that I have a partner who wants to hear what I’m thinking and feeling and is happy to listen to me rant about my feelings (or read about them) and appreciates me opening up to him and is always there for me. Always. and frequently communicates that he is there for me always and loves me always and wants to hear everything I’m thinking and feeling., without judgment, and never ever ever shames or criticizes me or has raised his voice at me.

and when I have issues with him (which is like So rare basically only 1 thing ever) he hears me and believes me and takes it seriously and we talk it out and he actually changes his behavior. and that makes me so much more open and willing to hear him when he talks about his issues with me and it makes me want to change my behavior too and therefor I actually work on changing it. bc it’s not coming from a place of criticism or control, it’s from a place love and respect and self-respect and what will benefit our team and therefor our lives together. and him showing that he is capable of changing a behavior of his in order to meet my need for security/respect, I see that and I see that he is a person who deserves the same treatment in return, so he deserves a wife who will change a behavior he wants changed in order for his need for appreciation/respect to be met. It’s just that simple. Any kneejerk ego reaction or defensivness i learned growing up, with him I’m willing to recognize it and work past it and grow out of it for our relationship because our relationship and how we view each other are based in genuine love and care and appreciation , not resentment , so I feel pride and joy becoming a better person to make him happy, because I want to.... I love making him happy, because he deserves it, because he works hard to make me happy and care for me and it shows (because he believe I deserve that). Basically conflict resolution is infinitely more successful when someone shows you, every day, that they respect you and value you. It makes you respect and value them back.

I just feel so lucky to have found someone who is like this and that he’s my husband!!! and so I’ll always have this source of healthy love that someone decided I was worthy of enough to commit to being my partner and team mate for our whole lives thru everything that happens; he chose me. every day he chooses me.

I’m so grateful for him because I won’t ever get anything but abuse, defensiveness, threats, blame, shame, neglect, cruelty, rejection, manipulation, criticism, dismissal, belittlement, gaslighting, and terrifying traumatic punishments from my parents. they’ll never change, they’ll never acknowledge my pain, or any other emotion i have, they’ll never empathize with me on anything, and they’ll never listen to me or admit they’ve ever hurt me or wronged me.

and Lately I’ve been truly beginning the process of realizing that fact about my parents—that they’ll never apologize for the trauma they inflicted on me that I must spend my whole life healing from, that they don’t care that they abused and still abuse me, that they don’t even feel sorry and never will, that they won’t ever admit responsibility or feel accountable, and that I won’t ever receive any amount of empathy, acknowledgement, or understanding from them in their lifetimes—and figuring out how to accept it. and it’s really fucking painful and heartbreaking. but when I think about my husband I feel a sense of relief and safety and hope that I’ll be okay: because while I can’t I get all those things that I need emotionally and physically from my parents, and I sadly never will, I can (and do) get them from the one person I chose to have in my life instead, and this knowledge makes life much easier, more beautiful, more joyous, more peaceful, more loving, happier, and healthier.

and with that comes the prospect that eventually, I will no longer even desire or need any respect or love from my parents. because the respect and love I get from my husband is enough, and it also makes the contrast between toxic relationships/ppl and healthy ones so stark that my standard for how I should be treated has changed; it’s become based on respect, not fear/avoiding punishment. my husbands love is helping me heal the wounds of my parents’ past and current and future treatment. and he is constantly teaching me the tools to love, empathize with, and care for myself. his love helps me grow and become a better person, and that’s the kind of love I want and deserve. love that pulls me up, holds me accountable, makes me want to reciprocate out of genuine care, teaches me how to love myself, and makes my soul blossom with joy and appreciation. my parents can’t give me that. they’re not capable, they don’t have the tools, so all they know is how to be miserable, drag people down and crush their souls, because that’s what happened to them and that’s what they do to each other, and they don’t want to change that.

#long post

[fluentmoviequoter]

hi hanna!

what are your thoughts/feelings about the latest episode of the rookie?

also, what are your thoughts about swat getting renewed for s8?

Hi Rachel!! First, I have to say that I love your new theme!! Tim Bradford and Blue Öyster Cult as a Tim Bradford reference? Impeccable taste and design.💙

There's lots of spoilers and opinions below the cut! I could seriously write a dissertation on this, but I'll try to keep it brief-ish. :)

"Secrets and Lies" should have been "Heartbreak and Betrayal (from Alexi Hawley)". I think one of my biggest issues with season 6 as a whole is Lucy's character because of how different she seems; which is the writing and nothing against Melissa! To me, it seems like Lucy's actions and reactions are different than they used to be. But that could just be me! Regardless, the Chenford breakup was hard to watch. After five seasons of pining and rooting for them, I just wanted them to be happy!

I loved getting to see more about Tim's Army history, though, even if it is causing a tremendous amount of issues. Like "Reaper"?? That's 1) kinda sexy, and 2) has to have an amazing story behind it. I'm excited to see more about that element of his story and hope that as he works through it he can fix his relationships and everything!

Other than Lucy and Tim, my thoughts are pretty quick! Angela helping Tim and being the perfect BFF was adorable, and I love her character even more now. I've honestly never really cared much about Nolan, but the baby storyline seems kind of forced (esp considering they don't mention Henry much anymore); I know it's probably because of Jenna but they've been covering it, so I don't know for sure. Not show-related really, but Nyla's hair looks amazing in this season!!

I've talked a bit about S.W.A.T. season 8, but I probably won't watch it. Without Street, Luca, and possibly Deacon it just won't be the same. And while I haven't seen s7, I've heard the the writing and pacing are pretty bad compared to previous seasons. My biggest worry is that they're going to keep treating the actors poorly and replacing them with younger cast members. After two cancellations, it seems possible that the show has run its course, plus the fact that s7 was set up to be the end so they risk it feeling like a reboot and filling gaps with exposition. My understanding is that the previous cancellations were money issues, but with the negative feedback on the content of s7, it seems like money is the only concern which doesn't usually end well for actors or fans. However, if the studio and writers actually listen to fan feedback on the current season and do better with s8 (and bring back the loved stars) then I can see it continuing!

#hanna's asks #I'm may drop in your inbox and ask your opinions too👀 #one of my dreams is to use tags as well as you Rachel #they're so cute and organized and mine are the opposite.

[theeoriginals]

Out of all the stuff you’re working on, what is your favourite, or what do you think is going to be your favourite?

I could probs write a dissertation on how much and how differently I love all of my stuff, but my favorite thing I've ever written and am still writing is the end of the world. I think that charlotte is one of the best characters I've ever written, and her relationship with damon is something I treat very seriously and it's near and dear to my heart in a way that I genuinely can't even describe.

my second favorite is probably tied for my succession fic or my criminal minds fic because they're also some of my (imo) better projects and I've put a lot of love into them even though they're still WIPs

#me and my parasocial relationship with my own fictional characters #and what about it!!

[collectingrobins]

The list of my favorite things include: 1) hugs, 2) Dick and Damian’s dynamic duo.

#my art #grant morrison's Batman and Robin run was so fun to read #seriously I could write a dissertation on their relationship #it's just such a well-written reversal of personalities #and such good found family material #dick grayson #Damian wayne #dynamic duo #batbrothers #fanart #bonding

[softwarmfur]

ok. cough cough hackkk. ahem. midam enthusiasts. cage discussion enjoyers. chuck observers and likers. irl religions spn fans...ive called you all here tonite bc ive got a smackerel of shit i need to discuss. the last of the caffeine from the cherry coke i had earlier is taking its swan song (ha, ha.) dive thru my bloodstream right now. my hands are shaking so hard i can hardly type.

anyway, first thing on the agenda is: as a person who believes in God, something that i enjoy and also hate having to think about it, if God is thee ultimate creator, then all versions of God that exist in fictional media (such as supernatural) are just hollow facsimiles of him. Thus making Chuck (and all other representations of the divine in media) a demiurge of sorts. bc if the media. well. exists. then in this little fake story universe, he is a god. completely unaware as to the real nature of his existence. I’m referencing the gnostic system of thought in which there is an all-powerful creator who at some point created a demiurge that never became aware of its creator. It made the known universe, thinking itself to be the original god. Much to think about in terms of ‘Chuck isn’t actually god” theory. whatever.

second thing on the agenda: ive recently come to conclusion that caffeine, while fucking me up if over-consumed, does focus me and elevate my train of thought for a beautiful but brief period of time. the caffeine high i’m experiencing right now is coinciding with the natural waxing of my midam obsession, creating a beautiful eclipse of drug-induced frenzy and autism. my god i love being alive. on to the main point: i consider myself to be generally neutral when it comes to things such as midam one-or-two body truthing, beautiful room truthing, the timeline of their love story, what their relationship dynamic is exactly, etc. but overall i am ultimately a believer that adam let michael possess him out of a sense of combined fear, awe, and duty. michael, being michael, put adam ‘away’ for the stull cemetery confrontation and while still retaining a cold and callous attitude and a general sense of angelic entitlement, fully intended to fullfill his promises to adam once he was done using a vessel. thus, he was reluctant to let adam come back “online” when he was in the cage. once adam realized what had happened, he was understandably furious and refused to interact with michael. however, the cage has a way of bringing people together, namely, by being mind-numbingly, oppressively still (boring), to the point that adam and michael sort of sought each other out naturally and eventually repaired things between each other.

However, i have to wonder about THE very beginning of their work relationship-  Adam being approached by zachariah as a potential/eventual vessel for michael.

Related to this - sam and dean actually didn’t meet their brother until the fifth season, which kind of fucks me up if i think about it too long. we were TECHNICALLY introduced to the character or rather the existence of adam in the fourth season via the iconic “Jump the Shark”, but that ended up being the ghoul who had killed and consumed adam and his mother, which is super fucked. Would sam and dean have ever learned about their brother if it wasn’t for the ghouls’ family desire for revenge? as a bit of an aside, it does make me chuckle to think of dean and sam never meeting the ghoul, and then being contacted about adam during the fifth season with no prior knowledge of him. i’m imagining zachariah calling dean and being like, “we have your brother, come to this building in california if you want him back alive, yadda yadda” and dean just repsonding with. what the fuck? man, sam’s sitting literally directly to my right. in the car. is this some kind of a joke? fuck off. then he hangs up on zach and makes a comment to sam about angels being dicks.

on a sadder note, i’m trying to remember how long the period of time was between adam’s death and sam and dean’s first meeting with the ghoul. if my memory serves me right, it was some months before the ghoul could finally reach them. it makes me unmanageably upset to think about the Milligan’s little home sitting quiet and unwillingly abandoned, the air going at first stale and then foul with the smell of their remains coming through the tunnel system. Did Adam have any friends? a romantic partner? did they try to look for adam and his mother? did Kate’s nurse co-workers worry for her? are they still worried? or are adam and his mom afforded no one to give a shit about them because they’re side characters chuck cooked up to keep the story interesting? do their lives begin and end with their involvement with the winchesters? is is sad or funny to imagine adam, youthful adam, alone in a locked room with an archangel, looking up in the utmost terror, and completely misunderstanding the beast’s request for him? Adam can’t help it, he’s only human! very funny to me to think of Adam hoping he won’t get smiting for saying this, but, um, he’ll have to politely decline Michael’s request for “his body”, as he’s very sure michael has a very lovely personality, but he’s never slept with a non-human, and most certainly never with an angel. And, is it, like, a virgin Mary thing? Does he just want adam as some kind of holy womb? And if that happens is the birth going to be all fucked up, like the chestbursters in the Alien movies? Unnecessarily torturing myself by asking, well, is Adam trans? Is he filled with guilty rage and grief at the thought that god wants him pregnant? or, touching on what i asked earlier, would adam say he has to decline because he already has a very devoted boyfriend back home in minnesota who, by the way, is probably still worried sick over his whereabouts right now. On the flip side, would it be more in-character for michael to quickly rectify what he meant exactly and tell Adam he needed to possess him to defeat the devil, or for michael to take Adam back to minnesota in spirit and show him how his boyfriend is just beginning to move on from his death, and how adam suddenly returning to him would just screw him up further? You see, little one? what has died is meant to stay dead. allowing you to return to your life would just be...messy. the only reason you’re back on earth right now is so you can host me. If michael goes with the second option, is the minnesota he shows adam to convince him actually what’s happening, or is it a false vision hastily whipped up to nudge the human in the ‘right direction’? Or is it perhaps BOTH? Is michael aware, to some extent, of the ‘levels’ of creation chuck has made? does he know Adam didn’t exist until chuck needed new material? Does he know that the winchesters are the main characters, or from his perspective, Very Important to the plot? does he know that his father creates all people real, but some people are more real than others? does he know how real he is? does he reveal to adam the true nature of his old life in minnesota, how it’s a shoddy fabrication implanted in him by his father? Was adam’s consent based purely off a coerced existential crisis? Was adam’s consent desperate and confused? Did Adam even consent, or did michael just annihilate his entire sense of self to the point where Adam wasn’t even a ‘person’ anymore, just a self-aware plot device, and michael no longer needed a ‘yes’ to enter him? Would Michael knowingly push Adam to the asymptote of his own nonexistence just so he could bypass his father’s pesky consent rule? In any universe where he does do this, it’s never, ever, personal. (back to the whole Michael is a huge entitled dick until he has to make pretty with adam in the cage thing - does it ever weigh on adam, later on in the relationship, that, up until he and the archangel irreconcilably crossed paths, all of Michael’s interactions with humans were likely only ever transactional - brief bursts of light and terror, a bat snatching a moth out of the night air, a quick meetup to secure Michael’s access to their body. Is adam, in a way, sort of the prostitute michael fell in love and settled down with? If Michael ever interacted with humans before him at all...)

Pretend i didn’t say all that, up until i mentioned Adam’s possible partner back in Minnesota. when i think of Adam rejecting Michael on the grounds of “I have a boyfriend!” not only does it make me giddy, i think of the moment after in which michael immediately thinks out loud, “What does that have to with ME? I’m trying to banish my brother, the devil, and bring paradise to earth, and you think your boyfriend who doesn’t even know where you are will be concerned if I ride your meat for a day or two? Oh my god i didnt mean it like THAT i meant if just highjacked your vessel long enough to cage Lucifer-OK, OK, i came on a bit strong, I’ll admit, but PLEASE let me in man You gotta.” Are we feeling better? Think about that funny tiktok audio excerpt in which TisaKorean exclaims, “Man, I don’t give a fuck, I’m tryna get up in the club! I’m tryna go crazy, dawg!” Just imagine it, please.

Anyway. this post has become...unreasonably long, so I’ll cut things off here and wish you well, if you managed to make it this far.

#teehee this is deranged fan behavior...im not sorry about a word of it though. #i might as well tag this? it kind of became a whole ass dissertation so #midam #michael spn #adam spn #chuck shurley #midam dynamics #michael and adam #long post #just a general brainstorm of ideas surrounding michael and adam's unknowably complex relationship. and other things. #so insane how i could KEEP WRITING AFTER THIS...caffeine got me going CRAZY. #seriously off the shits. god help whoever's near me if i ever finally do actual cocaine. #forreal i havent done a huge long adamichael centric post in a while...i need to consume drugs more often i think. #ALSO SORRY IF THERES ANY ERRORS IN THIS....I REMOVED AND SWITCHED SOME PARTS AROUND POST-TYPE..

[kaijugolisopod]

I’m gonna fuckin say it:

Dennis doesn’t deserve Mac because Dennis is a manipulative bastard man and Mac is a damaged boy that deserves a big strong boyfriend that will treat him like the king he is.

No I will not take criticism. DMs mf closed!!! Come back when y’all have drank your respect Mac juice!!!

#in this house we stan non-toxic relationships only!! #i could write a dissertation on why mac//dennis is toxic but i mf wont!! #mac deserves so much better #no hate just tea #pls dont take this hella seriously

[prncssguya]

Hi ! I am sorry I’m actually just writing to commiserate with you about the devil judge, I saw your post about how everyone just puts everything on Yohan and I agree sooo much, it’s infuriating to me, how Min Jung Ho just like immediately says it’s his fault he got attacked, and don’t get me started on the fucking priest, what the hell bro? He was a child, a lonely, weird, abused child, not the fucking devil. Seriously it is getting me crazy, it feels like the only person who sees him as a human being is Gaon. I know a lot of people have made a parallel between tdj and Hannibal, and like, I really disagree ? I understand where it comes from, but Hannibal and Yohan are vastly different characters, and the whole characterization of Yohan to me feels like the writers are saying that while every one thinks this guy is the devil, he is very far from it, whereas Hannibal is definitely a monster, and his relationship with will is monstrous as well (and very captivating don’t get me wrong). What do you think about that parallel ? It just rubs me the wrong way but I don’t know if I put it into words correctly. Sorry for the really long ask btw 😅

Hi! thanks for the question. I completely understand what you’re saying. I hope I can answer this well because it’s really so complex. Sorry if this turns into a whole dissertation essay, Hannibal is like my favorite show ever.

Yea I can see a lot of people draw comparisons to TDJ and Hannibal saying things like “tdj is just Hannibal in a courtroom” or “tdj is Hannibal without the cannibalism” lol. I think what people are mostly looking at is the dynamic between Yohan/GaOn and Hannibal/Will and how they’re similar to some degree.

Gahan and Hannigram have a similar type of tension with each other. The difference is Ga On already had suspicions about Yohan from the very beginning and was very antagonistic towards him. Will, on the other hand, initially thought Hannibal was just psychiatrist and sought out his help. It wasn’t until a little later that he started suspecting him and grew to understand his true dark nature.

Yohan/Hannibal— wealthy socialite, sociopathic tendencies, hiding a secret, wearing a “person suit” (more on this later) to fool those around them, misanthrope and thinks humans are beneath them, thinks no one in the world could possibly understand them until they find the one person who does and they can only show their love through violence and manipulation.

Ga On/Will— sensitive, empathetic, intelligent

Will is first introduced as this tortured genius who has an empathetic ability to recreate scenes. In short, he can vividly construct the mentality of criminals and psychopaths. Being able to step into a darkness like that, you have to eventually lose a part of yourself and start sympathizing with the monsters and that’s what eventually happens to him. They’re both capable of murder. Ga On was ready to kill the con artist for his parents if SH hadn’t intervened. They have a moral compass in their corner to keep them grounded (Jack Crawford for Will, Soo Hyun for Ga On—I won’t even mention Min Junho because the guy is sus). They’re both fighting against an internal darkness

Gahan/Hannigram— THE HOMOEROTIC TENSION.

“I want you to admit what you are.”

“Must I denounce myself as a monster, while you still refuse to see the one growing inside you.”

Actual lines from Hannibal. I can’t even mention all the lines that could apply to Gahan (I could hear these words being exchanged between them). Both Hannibal and Yohan bring out the best, and worst, in their partners. Hannigram is toxic as hell. Hannibal would go through all kinds of sick shenanigans to get Will on his side, Yohan has said he would do bad things to get Ga On on his side. Gahan’s relationship is one that starts out tense and mistrustful, then grew to curiousity, comaderie, now Yohan has come to rely on Ga On without him even realizing it or admitting it to himself.

“No one can be fully aware of another human being unless we love them.”

This is obvious. Hannibal is a cannibal, Yohan is not.

I was rooting for Will to finally succumb to his darkness and join Hannibal’s side because he found the truest version of himself in Hannibal. I have different expectations for Ga On because my sweet summer child is more different from Will, he’s not as drawn to darkness as Will is (in the recent episode, he was so horrified at the blood on his hands). Will in the end basks in it.

I agree with you about Hannibal, there’s really no denying that he is a monster. And there’s really no explanation for why he is the way he is; he wasn’t abused (as far as we know) but he was orphaned and left to raise his beloved sister (who died) and later became a serial killer. Yohan, on the other hand, was an abandoned and abused child who only had the love of his older brother. It’s no wonder that he puts up a tough exterior because all throughout his life, people have made assumptions about him without trying to get to know him. I mentioned the “person suit” earlier, this is a mask Hannibal puts on to blend into the human world. He carefully built his life and reputation as a surgeon/psychiatrist and socialite, presenting himself as the sociable doctor while living his philosophy of eating the rude on the other side on the veil.

Yohan’s person suit is a defense mechanism. Whereas Hannibal is using his suit to hide a monstrous nature, Yohan uses it to hide his vulnerabilities. He’s wearing this suit to blend in with the elite he hates, but underneath that exterior is just a lonely and misunderstood man (who’s actually a softie in reality)

Finally, I think these two shows don’t really have a whole lot in common besides the homoerotic tension. Gahan are vastly different from Hannigram. Yohan isn’t a true monster/devil while Hannibal is. Will turned his back on his moral compass and succumbed to the darkness, while Ga On can’t seem to let go of his moral compass and he doesn’t desire to become a monster.

Sooo ultimately…

#the devil judge #gahan #lawful husbands #hannibal #hannigram #murder husbands #kdrama #sorry if this is an incoherent mess #i could go even longer on this but i won’t #hopefully i answered your question

[galina]

Heya, I was wondering when literary theory / critical theory really clicked for you? I’d love to be able to throw myself into it, and I do find it interesting, but there seems an inexhaustible quantity and tbh I struggle to understand a lot of it. I’m in the 2nd year of a literature course - did it take you a while to learn to navigate/appreciate theory, or is it just naturally your cup of tea? xx

Hi – tricky one, I think it all happened quite holistically and very slowly, it crept up on me. The short version is I spent many years faffing about and then it all kind of came together when I realised reading and writing theory is very personal/like a conversation. The long version is below the cut, seems the button isn’t coming up on the blog so click here if that’s the case

In my second ever seminar at university we talked about theories of interpretation and it was like a big light that had been off in my head for my whole reading life suddenly came on. I was excited, because the death of authorial-intention-based approach gave life to theory, empowered readers to enter into a relationship with the text that was meaningful and new. It made me feel like I could use my experience as a frame through which to view literature rather than just searching for a right or wrong answer to unlocking the text. Despite this I thought reading the actual theory was exceptionally boring (probably Saussure’s fault, or rather my fault for being too stupid to understand the genius implications of Saussure) and struggled to connect my excitement at reading fiction theoretically and, well, actually reading theory texts.

I was on a joint honours creative writing programme which I had been accepted to based on a portfolio of my prose, but my first year was terrible. It wasn't even that I was a bad writer, I was just painfully mediocre and felt I had nothing to say. I constantly felt I was contriving to make something meaningful, my tutor was encouraging enough that we shouldn’t wait for a muse or a moment of inspiration to write but though I pushed through I was consistently marked down in submissions and peer reviews. It was really tough and I wanted to drop out many times, to go and pursue art which was becoming a bigger part of my life all the time – I was making work with other artists and entering into the world of art school which seemed more exciting. At the end of my first year I was seriously thinking about dropping out to pursue fine art full time. 

Something made me not do that, and I think it was theory – probably in the disguise of modern poetry. I had really enjoyed reading poetry before university but I was convinced I was not good enough to write or write about poetry myself. The class made me realise that poetry was a perfect example of the kind of reading and thinking I really loved: poems are puzzles, often they read like a big knotted textural wall of words at first, and then one line comes out like a thread and you pull it and it all starts to become understandable. The thread lodges itself in you, or becomes part of your own tangle. That’s like how theory feels to me, like the tangle of texts and ideas coming together to tell us something about our own tangles. I wanted more of that.

I had to choose whether to take a prose or poetry focused class in my second year creative writing programme, and given how poor I was at prose I decided to take a leap and try poetry. I still had a year to go before I had to choose for my final dissertation portfolio, so I figured it made sense to get a bit of both anyway. Basically I resigned myself to being lost and looked for guidance. I also took classes in the most basic principles of literature and culture – a class on Shakespeare, a class on Modern literature, a film class. 

I fell in with a group of incredible young poets in my second year class. Their grasp on it was already so well-formed, they could do things with words in a ten-minute exercise that I couldn’t write in ten years. I fully assumed the role of the blank canvas and let the class shape my writing. I had some good tutors too who were hard on me at times but ultimately completely changed my approach. I think it’s something to do with having gone in completely humble to it second time around rather than in my first year when I thought I had an understanding already. One of the poets was really into theory. They showed me how it wasn’t all boring, how some of it was really radical and pushed the boundaries. 

It wasn’t until my final year that I put two and two together I think. It was the thing of experience, reading, writing, all becoming the same process, informing each other. I chose poetry fully, threw myself into it, and I also discovered creative non fiction. The two together led me to theory in a big way – writing about my experience, reading about others’, writing about both. I don’t know if that even makes sense but that’s what it felt like. My portfolio, on liminality and duality and transnationality, argued for a personal, subjective approach to poetry, not an objective one. That was when it happened for me, reading about things I understood not because I was smart but because it spoke to me and my experiences, became part of my ‘tangle’. 

Anyway this is a very long way to say theory is deeply personal and that approach worked more for me than any amount of academic commitment to marks, grades or careers. It’s a deep seated need to understand myself and the world that takes me to theory again and again. And the understanding too that the process with theory is never over, there’s always more, but not being overwhelmed by it – I find it comforting to know how little I know. That’s where my appreciation for it and my way of navigating it come from, just knowing it’s bringing a personal and subjective view as part of an enormous collective dialogue between all these different minds across all of time. The texts talk to each other and they talk to us, you just have to enter the conversation.

whew that was quite the brain dump!

#studyblr #bookstagram #bookblr #literature #literary theory #theory #long read

[crackinglamb]

Hi! I hope it isn’t too much trouble, but I’d like to ask how or why you decided to write Twist? And then also how and why you decided to write Wicked Games a little bit after. Did you wanna explore different relationships with characters when having a different personality in your ‘Modern Girl’ or different goals, because Carly talked Solas down and guided him into a different path, while Imogen seems to want him to go through with his plans with her help and a large dose of “what the heck is the canon timeline?” I love both of the stories, I might reread them again to help with the Modern Girl in Thedas withdrawals.

I ask because I’ve been reading “Modern Girl/Person in Thedas” stories and really wanna try my hand at them, I just feel like I am only writing it for little one shot type interactions between characters, and don’t really know why I’d actually have a “Modern Girl” be sent to Thedas, how and why, and what they would do, If your willing to give insight I’d love to hear it. I just hope I’m not a bother.

Oh no, you're not a bother at all! Thank you so much for this ask!! I love to talk about how I fell down this rabbit hole! I hope you're ready for a dissertation, because this got really long. 💕💕💕

I came to Dragon Age backwards. I didn't know anything about the series other than a lot of people liked it and had very strong opinions about it. Then a fellow writer began to write a Varric/Hawke story and I read it because I wanted to support her return to posting.

And I fell in love with a world I'd never seen.

I realized that, due to its age, I actually did know more about the games than I thought I did. I knew the ending already, and who this bald dude was that had the fandom so divided. A classic villain, right? Wrong. Some people think he's just terrible and some people defend him to the death. Some people think he's terrible but don't let that stop them from defending him to the death. So what was the real deal?

I did some research (because at that point I was writing my own Varric/Hawke fic and I'll still die on that ship hill. Anyways...moving on). I discovered that everything I thought I knew about Solas was skewed by fandom interpretation. Which is valid. I mean, all our opinions end up that way when it comes to fandom, right? All interpretation is subjective. But the fact remains that Solas interprets the world around him through the eyes of the Inquisitor and how they treat him. And that is player based. Low approval proves his opinion that this is a world not fit to live it. High approval shows him that his decision is going to destroy something beautiful, but he still feels he needs to do it.

I got to thinking about what it would take to stop him. Through the course of watching his romance, reading a lot of meta and lore posts and listening to his companion banter, I had a headcannon emerge: Solas could only be stopped by someone who knew what he was doing from the start.

But that's not gonna happen in canon. He already allegedly killed the only person who knew. (Seriously, #saveFelassan) So who else would make him rethink it?

The answer that came to me was a person he needed, so he couldn't risk eliminating them. The Inquisitor who bears his mark. I then went a step further, and decided that someone who knew all his secrets and plans, and who could possibly help him shift them, would have to be from our world. Enter the Modern Girl in Thedas, because I love a good romance, and I wanted a happy ending to this otherwise tragic love story.

And Carly was born. A modern gamer girl, sucked through to a fictional world because the universe is vast and unknowable (and certain wisps of certain Evanuris like to nudge). I'd read a bunch of fic by the time I started writing Twist, including some self-insert types. None of them told him flat out from the beginning. So I determined that she would. She'd tell him what she knew and try to persuade him that his plans were awful and that if he wanted to claim he wasn't a monster, then he'd have to find another way.

I knew from the start that I wanted her to save the orb, because losing that is what tips the scales for Solas. Losing that means he has to find power from somewhere else and sets him on his path of death. Saving the orb meant his plans, while derailed, weren't ruined. Yes, I know in Trespasser he'll tell the Inquisitor that the world would have burned in raw chaos while he rewrote it, but considering the nature of magic and reality on Thedas, I think that's more due to human reaction than any actual destruction simply based on the lifting of the Veil. Demons are real and represent emotion. Humans look down on elves and do everything they possibly can to oppress them. Like the colonizers they are. Of course they'd react to an elven demigod rewriting the world to give his people back their strength poorly.

And then covid hit. Twist rapidly became a beacon of fluffy stability to my readers. It was an escape from the literal dumpster fire that my country was, so I was highly motivated to keep writing it. To keep it light and happy and epic in a way that felt satisfying to everyone. So that's what I did.

But...

I still hadn't played Inquisition when I started (and I still need to play the other two). I was missing so much of the nuance of the world. In the end, Twist wasn't the story I really wanted to tell. I mean, I'm proud of it, and I love it. I am deeply humbled and gratified to know how many people look at Carly with love and admiration. I love hearing how many times a reader has opened it up and binged it. That kind of feedback is the lifeblood of a writer, as I always say.

Wicked Game is the story I wanted to write. A little grittier, a little more plausible in keeping with the lore. Having Imogen be human gave her the power to call out other humans on their bigotry. And to show Solas that he's not the only one who can see how damaged the world is and want to fix it. Having her be a scientist gives me a chance to explore how magic works, and what the Veil really is after a year of immersing myself in this world. Yeeting canon so thoroughly came from thinking about the major plot points and what could be changed about them from the POV of a character who knows how this is all 'supposed' to happen...and the resultant fallout from her decisions.

Imogen can see the forest for the trees. Her outsider perspective gives her all sorts of insights on her companions and the world at large. The fact that she falls ass over teakettle for the Dread Wolf against her own better judgment is just a good trope. Having him do the same is my clapback against his racially locked romance. (Here's where I'm gonna throw out my own extra kudos to writers who also portray Solas as bisexual, because dammit, he should be. Immortal beings would not bend to any heteronormative conventions.)

Carly and Imogen have rather similar motivations behind them: they want to save the world and not lose him. They often go about it in similar ways too. I guess the biggest difference between them is that now I know what I'm doing and I have more confidence in my storytelling ability. Neither of them is a self-insert. Plenty of people do that and that's totally valid. I'm just not really a fan of it myself. These two characters are no different to me than any other OC starting out at the beginning of the game. They just have slightly more backstory than the average Inquisitor.

Now, in regards to you writing your own and feeling like all you have are oneshot ideas. Go for it. Doesn't matter if they're oneshots. A story doesn't have to be hundreds of thousands of words to be awesome or complete. Write what YOU want to read. The best reason to make a character be a certain way, like being MCIT, is because you want them to be. No other justification is necessary. The only rules in storytelling are grammar ones, and even those are iffy at best. The only courtesy if you decide to go ahead and share it is don't plagiarize and tag it properly. That's it. The sky's the limit and up for grabs. Go forth and be bold.

#ask #Lamb writes #Lamb rambles #Lamb...gives advice? #👀 #solas #modern characters in thedas #on writing #long post