#seriously i'm gonna be so happy when orchestra rehearsals start up again | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

tommyoboe · 2 years

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PARIS - PART FOUR.

Happy Halloween!

My only real contribution to the festivity today has been a suitably black, white and orange outfit. Not gonna lie, I look pretty fabulous. Just need some eyeliner and I would be ready to hit the clubs.

Nah, I'll be staying in to watch brand new Doctor Who and Strictly instead, with a soft sugary brioche I bought earlier at the patisserie. Parfait.

It's been quite the two weeks. Lots has gone on, primarily visits from my dad, Rachel and Cameron, which have all been wonderful. I shall get into the details of our antics later on, but first some musical updates.

My last couple of oboe lessons have been extremely different from each other. One left me feeling euphoric, having done some excellent work on my concerto piece and my overall sound being one I was impressed with. This week, I just sounded crap. No exaggeration, but I soon realised why. All this time, I had been finishing my reeds incorrectly, hacking away at the wrong parts and making my life a lot more difficult. With this my teacher and I spent some time the next morning perfecting a whole new box of reeds for me, ahead of recording for an orchestra audition next week. I really couldn't have been more grateful for the extra time my teacher gave me, as well as three reeds he had made for me there and then at no cost. It was better than Christmas and now I owe it to him at least to make them work and future reeds and playing work much better.

Despite all the lovely things I have experienced recently, motivation has been particularly low. Having to reacquaint myself with the Mozart Oboe Concerto was challenging to start with, results including me wanting to throw my oboe at the wall and even at one point coming to the conclusion that the oboe is no longer for me and I have to think seriously about doing something else.

But then I was like, what else is there? Even if I no longer really want to do this and am losing the passion I have had before, it's the thing I'm least bad at, so perhaps it really is what I'm supposed to do. Who knows.

It does suck though, feeling these rehearsals and practice sessions go by with a lack of real engagement and energy and excitement to get the most out of them. I suppose I'm in the room but the lights in my mind are off. That is when I'm most melancholy, when I can no longer truly be a part of what it is that I want to be, whether as a player or a conversationalist or just as myself, by myself.

The stress that week was affecting my sleeping patterns considerably, meaning I was pretty cranky and more direct with people, which is not really my personality trait. I think of myself as a friendly and open person, who is passionate but willing to listen and work with others, but during one particular rehearsal I had with piano, I took control out of stress and fatigue, bringing the whole event to an abrupt close. "That's it for today".

I say all this with a tint of sadness, but it is also necessary to experience all of this so more reflection can be done. With reflection complete, I have come out feeling better, free from the majority of my stress and open to doing everything with commitment again. I know now what's working and what's not. Doing things the wrong way seems to be a bit of a theme and cramming too much into one small space of time. It's not healthy and I'm constantly drawn back into that way of living, but I shall resist right now.

Being forgiving on myself is another reflection I have made. In the last few years I have found not having success plays a key role in later breakthroughs, so now that's how I see any lack of results I have in coming weeks, months and even years, as I audition for orchestras and set up the life I want to lead long-term.

Right, now that I've dragged you into that both depressing and uplifting rut, shall we get on to the fun French stuff?

Last week I discovered the joy of true French crêpes and galettes, which are essentially also crêpes but with buckwheat. My dad, Rachel and I enjoyed savoury and sweet versions on my first meeting with them since August, which was delightful. Then, when Cameron came on Saturday, we reunited with them for more crêpes and galettes, with countless combinations to choose from.

Unsurprisingly, more French food and drink followed, including fresh baguettes, pastries wine and charcuterie. This was intertwined with wonderful Italian pasta and pizza and an enormous quiche in Montmartre. We also visited the Musée de Luxembourg and Jardin du Luxembourg, as well as the famous Shakespeare and Company bookstore and café (well, actually just the café), where I spoke French to a fellow Englishman on a gap year who didn't understand my French. It was probably the one and only time I would actually give someone a lesson in French, but we had a lovely conversation about the joys of music and travel generally.

There was the Eiffel Tower, of course, lit up in its majesty on a chilly Thursday night, but perhaps preferable the following week on a warm Wednesday afternoon with life changing Boneshaker Doughnuts and iced coffee.

I was beyond excited to welcome Cameron last Saturday with chocolate and a hug. We then enjoyed a cute lunch and stumbling upon my favourite boulangerie I have found so far during my time in Paris.

On the Sunday we enjoyed sensational brunch, including warming pecan pie and filter coffee, then a stroll down the Canal Saint-Martin and pumpkin beignets back at the apartment.

We headed to the top of the Sacre-Cœur on Monday for a view of the entire city, then took on busy Bastille on Tuesday, followed by numerous pastries and a one off trip to a French restaurant for a delicious meal. Overpriced for the portions quite frankly, but it is France, so...

I said happy birthday to my mum and nephew Frankie on Wednesday (a whole year since he came to us!), then Cameron and I said hello to the iconic Louvre Museum, with its impressive exhibits. What was perhaps most interesting but also bizarre was how small the Mona Lisa was, and how gargantuan the queue was to see it. The whole scene was something I don't think I'll ever see anywhere else. We picnicked in the Tuilleries, then gazed upon the Pantheon and Notre Dame, before relaxing back at the apartment with treats and quiz shows.

After a final traditional baguette and cookie each in the park, I bid my boy farewell and it was on with the rest of my week. I felt pretty lost that day and the last couple of days as well, but today I certainly feel better after the shock of 'normal' life again. And tomorrow's November, so it really isn't long before Christmas!

So on that merry note, I am going to settle down with my leftover gnocchi and relax for the evening, as I have to do ace recordings tomorrow and Tuesday. Even if the end result is an unsuccessful audition, it has to be something I am proud of. So, on with it.

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