#seriously my dude your writing is fantastic

[jojomiwbvb6]

The Shower Scene, Pt. 4

Taglist: @emzandthevoid @mentallynot-here @bloodymug @sprokat @princesspeach-00 @ghoulsquad @missduffsblog @yeehaw-my-guys @lma1986 @artificialbreezy

Author's Note: I apologize for taking so long to do this chapter! I have had a bit of writer's block and I have been busy doing a lot lately. This will be the finale to this series, I really hope you enjoy! Feel free to give me more ideas! I was thinking of writing some Sasuke or Itachi fics as well.

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, NSFW. Extremely long and descriptive smut, unprotected p-in-v (be safe about it, or use condoms please), overstimulation, degradation, praise, oral (female receiving), punishment, spanking, swearing, squirting, casual alcohol consumption

PSA: this is very obviously a work of fiction, and should in no way be taken seriously or literally. this piece of fiction uses real people in fictional and fantastical mindsets--and it is in no way a representation of the real person or who they are as a whole. Thank you for coming to our ted talk.

--

Atlanta.

The humid wind hits your face, the city never motionless around you. You inhale the air, closing your eyes and letting your body relax. Your nerves are completely jumbled and overstimulated as your mind mulls over the past week so far.

The pictures of yourself flash through your head. Noah's words flooding your mind. You can't escape the anxiety it brought you, and the excitement of your actions.

You stared at your feet, black vans reflected against tan concrete as you stood against the bus. Twiddling your thumbs and exhaling heavily, you turn to Davis as he approaches you.

"Hey, kid! Some of the guys were just thinking of exploring the botanical gardens and the zoo and maybe going for some grub, wanna come?" He smiles at you, raising an eyebrow for an inviting answer.

"Shit, bro, I'm down." You agree and smile back. It was the first day off in over a week and you were grateful for it. You were looking forward to moments with Noah, but you also needed to get out and do something else for once.

As you and Davis caught up with the group, consisting of both you two, Ruffilo, Noah, Matt, and Jolly (the rest went off to do other things), you could hear their jesting and cackles even from a ways back.

"Morning guys!" You say, smiling and out of breath.

"Hey (Y/N)!" You were greeted by multiple of them.

Noah turned, walking backwards. "Hey, (Y/N)," he smirks lazily, waving his hand, drawing his eyes over you subtly and licking his lips.

You huff, catching his eyes and offering a suggestive smile. "Hi, Noah." He smiles back at you, and then turns back around to continue walking. You admire his long, toned frame as he took smooth strides forward.

--

All of you thoroughly enjoyed the relaxing and wondrous vibes of the gardens and the culture of the city. Having been walking and exploring for over 2 hours, you all decide to pause your activities for a bit of lunch.

"What should we eat? I'm starving, man," Ruffilo comments.

"Hmm. Haven't had Chipotle in a while," Davis replies.

"How about sushi?" Matt adds.

You're silent. Honestly, you're so hungry, you don't even care what you guys eat. Anything sounds good.

Noah steps up beside you. "Sushi sounds fuckin' fantastic," he agrees.

When the others aren't paying any attention, Noah leans into your ear quickly and quietly, "I'm hungry for something else, though."

You almost gasp when he leans away, giving a quick caress to your ass while the others are walking away. He casually smirks at you, continuing to walk in the direction of the Japanese sushi bar on the corner.

Your face felt hot, and you were fighting the frustrated blush that crept up your face. You were nearly hyperventilating and you couldn't help it. You took a deep breath of the next gust of Georgia wind that caressed your face, composing yourself and catching back up with the group.

--

"Fuck, this hits the spot dude." Matt comments, and you're nodding along with the rest of the guys.

"Hell yeah."

You're all sitting at the table, a whole boat of sushi in front of you and then some. Ruffilo is sipping on sake while all of you make small chit chat.

"Hey! Ruffilo! Let me try some of that," you say.

"Ever had sake?" Ruffilo says.

"No," you state, taking the small white cup from his hands.

"What!" You hear half of the table exclaim, with pleas of interest in you trying the drink.

You slowly take a sip. Instantly the taste of the Japanese alcohol hits your tongue and you're writhing. "Yuck! Oh! That's revolting!"

Cracks of laughter erupt from the table. Soon, you are laughing as well.

"That's enough of that," you joke.

After lunch, you all go shopping and walk around downtown. After several hours of being out and having free time the whole day, it was time to return to the hotel that was booked for the night. In the morning, you would quickly pack up and shuffle back onto the bus for Orlando, Florida.

--

Walking away from the bus with a suitcase in hand and backpack over your shoulder, you step into the hotel. You stop at the front desk to get your keycard from the receptionist.

"Room for (Y/L/N), please."

"Ahh," she pauses, typing on her keyboard. "We don't have a room here, I'm afraid..."

You frown. "All of these rooms should have been pre-booked," you state. Your mind frantically searches for a solution. You begin to list the several names of the other crew members and band members, but most were already in their rooms. You thought of one more name.

Oh, you thought. He didn't!

"There may be another name," you try. "Sebastian?"

The receptionist, looking mildly annoyed now, huffs and types in the name. You ignore her annoyance, watching patiently. A look of resolve crosses the receptionist's face. You feel hopeful.

He did.

"Hmm," she says. "It appears one more keycard is available for this room. Just sign this document and you may have your keycard."

You fill out the appropriate paperwork, signing on the line. The receptionist pulls the paper back to her and slides the keycard across the counter. You exchange your thanks.

"Room 207, 3rd floor." The woman tells you and turns away.

You don't waste anymore time. As you walk down the hall to the elevator, the smirk on your face grows 10 miles wide, confidence enveloping you.

You knew exactly why he'd done it, and frankly, you weren't about to protest. Your heart slams into your chest with every sound of your heels and the roll of the suitcase wheels on the carpet.

You take a deep breath as you step onto the elevator.

--

207.

The silver numbers glint as you stand parked in front of the door. He was inside there already, waiting for you to come in. You exhale shakily as you grip the door handle, and you hesitate.

Closing your eyes, you begin to smirk. This is what you've been fiending after for several weeks. Taking another deep breath, you slide the keycard into the door.

The lock clicks and you twist the handle, allowing yourself into the room.

You analyze your surroundings. One lamp is on in the dimly lit room. A small walkway leading into a rather spacious double bed. There was a desk to the left, and a mini kitchen straight ahead. The bathroom immediately to the left. Without paying further attention, you walk to a bed and set your bag down on it.

You didn't seem to notice Noah, maybe he'd left the room for something. You shrug, bending over to open up your suitcase and lay it out.

Without you noticing, Noah slips out of the bathroom and leans against the wall, examining the rear view you're giving him.

"Well, well, already bending over? Princess, I haven't even taken off your clothes yet," Noah chuckles darkly.

You swear you jump 10 feet into the air, yelping loudly. If he hadn't scared you, his words would've gone straight to your core. "Noah Sebastian, for crying out loud!" You laugh and smack his shoulder. "Don't do that!" You both share a chuckle.

You can feel Noah decreasing the distance between you two and your laughter begins to fade. Noah's eyes flutter over you, landing on your eyes, your mouth, your breasts, feeling overwhelmed pleasantly.

You found yourself licking your lips. You begin to turn away.

Faster than the flick of a wrist, Noah's hand shoots up, gripping your jaw and squeezing your cheeks together. You are both silent, the tension shooting higher than ever.

You go to grab his hand and you are immediately caught by his other hand. He grips your wrist tightly, but not painfully. Noah's eyes change into dangerous slits and a playfully evil smirk takes over his features.

"The way that you have been torturing me has been driving me insane," Noah whispers into your ear. You want to collapse on the spot.

He begins walking you slowly backwards.

"You've been such a fucking brat, too, getting me hot for you at the worst times..." His hot breath fans your face, your own breath quickening in pace.

"The only thing I can think about is how I'm going to having you praying to me when I'm done ravaging you." You feel your hips hit the desk behind you.

"Noah..." you whisper.

He pulls at your face until you're eye to eye with him. He chuckled darkly.

"That's my fucking name," he growls into your ear. "And you're never going to forget it."

His hands leave your face and your wrist. Gripping your hips, he lifts you onto the desk and shoves you on it. He pulls you against his own hips, and his left hand rises to tangle in your hair.

Noah's cologne invades your senses, addicted to the scent. He tugs at the strands, inflicting a raspy moan from you. "How beautiful," Noah mumbles, helping himself to your inviting lips.

You both kiss as if life were going to end. His fingers flex against your clothed hips, pulling at your shirt and caressing you. Your tongues slipped against each other, nipping and suckling at each other's lips.

You wrapped your legs around Noah's hips, pulling him closer. Noah pulls away from your lips. Smirking, he pulls up your shirt with ease and tossed it away somewhere on the floor behind you.

"Such pretty, pretty tits..." he drawls, giant hands cupping them and he flicks a nipple. You gasp. Noah moves up your body, leaning over to envelope a taut nipple into his warm mouth. He flicks at it with the tip of his tongue and you moan quietly.

He pops off of you and smirks wickedly, and feigns a look of concern. "Is that just too much pleasure for you? Should I stop?"

"N-no! No, please, don't stop," You almost choke.

Noah stands. His bulge is prominent against his sweatpants and you almost drool. It seems so big and you can't focus on anything but the need you feel. Your core is hot and you squirm.

"Such a needy fucking slut." He pulls your body forward, running a hand oh-so-low but not enough.

You mewl as his fingers creep to your covered pussy and slowly tease the bud.

"Mmm.." you groan and Noah chuckles.

"Like that, babygirl?"

You nod.

"Too bad." Noah stops and you whine. "Enough of that. Strip,"

"Yes, sir."

Noah chuckles. "Such good manners for me. So desperate."

By now, you're a puddle of pleasure and you want it to swallow you whole. Noah sits on the edge of the bed as you peel your pants off your shaking legs. You remove your panties, tossing them aside.

"So pretty," he comments. "Come here and lay across my lap."

You obey, positioning yourself across his lap.

"Before we begin, is this something you're okay with me doing to you?"

"Absolutely," you confirm. "I can take it."

Noah hums in understanding. "Such arrogance. You will learn."

His hands begin to touch and caress the flesh of your behind, shaking the cheeks and watching them jiggle with satisfaction. He rubs in slow circles. His hand leaves your ass, forming a cup-shape, and crack.

The first spank stings, and you gasp out. His hand returns to rub the welt.

"Here's how this is going to go. You will get five spanks for our first time. This is your punishment for being such a slut," he rubs slowly. "If you fail to complete the spanking, I'll fuck your mouth. I won't stop if you choke or gag."

You whimper and nod your head.

"I'm glad you understand. If you succeed, princess, I'll have a taste of you for myself."

You mewl, squirming in his lap. "Now, now," he warned you. "Count for me." You nod frantically, wanting so desperately to please him. Although, you wouldn't complain if you failed the test.

The first two spanks were easy. His hand fell on tandem and you dutifully stated each number with each gasp and whimper he pulled from you. You really didn't think you could fail, how could you? Sure, it stung a little, but you could handle it.

As "three" fell from your lips, the usual soothing rub came to ease the sting.

"Everything okay, princess?"

"Yes, sir."

"May I proceed?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good girl," he whispered, making you squirm. He chuckled darkly. He pulled apart your cheeks, and leaned down. "Mmm, princess... so wet for me. Oh, I bet you're just aching. Let me help you..."

Noah dipped his fingers in between your legs. His fingers slid between the wet folds and you jolt. His other hand keeps you still and you're left victim to his merciless tease. He softly rubs into your wet heat and you're left mewling against his leg, head hanging.

Noah rubs the tip of his middle finger into your clit. "How's that?"

You nod frantically, unable to speak against his onslaught. At your response, he removes his fingers from your heat and resumes the next spank. The fourth spank is rougher and harder than the last.

"F-four!" You cry out, struggling to hold the composure that remained. "P-please, Noah, I--"

"Hush," he demanded. He caressed the welt, the red marks on your ass much to his liking. "One more for me, princess. You can do it."

Without any warning, Noah's fingers slip once again against your heat. Only this time, he doesn't relent. He teases and pinches your clit and you squirm, earning a dark chuckle from him.

Noah slides his fingers up to your entrance and sinks one finger inside of you and you moan.

"Noahhh, this isn't fair!"

"Be quiet, and don't you dare cum, or you lose," he threatens, and you obey with whimper after whimper as he pumps his finger in and out of you.

He adds another finger, and begins assaulting your clit with the other hand. You're an absolute mess against his lap, his fingers scissoring inside you and rutting against your g-spot. Bliss and pleasure overwhelms you, getting close to the brink as Noah's fingers continue to pump into you, faster and harder.

Your whimpers begin to form into cries, pleading for him to let you cum. Your eyes begin to roll back and you're trying to push back onto his fingers to get more from him.

"You like that baby?" He whispers in your ear. "Gonna cum?"

You nod, mouth agape. Noah smirks and removes his fingers entirely. You groan in frustration, and, as sly as he is, catches you off guard with the fifth and final spank.

Your brain almost can't comprehend the pleasure your body feels, the sting sending you into shock and you almost forget your task.

"F-f-five..." you stutter.

His large, long hands caress both cheeks of your ass and a kiss is planted onto the red welt on the swell of it.

"You're such a good, good girl, princess. I'm impressed. Good job," Noah praises you. "Lay down on your back for me."

You slowly get up and crawl onto the hotel bed mattress and lie down on the cushiony pillows.

"Spread your pretty legs, don't be shy."

You let your legs fall apart, spread against the sheets. Noah sucks in a breath and hums in satisfaction. He crawls up the bed to you, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside as you had. Your eyes feast on the tattoos covering his body.

"God, princess, you're so fucking wet," you moan at his words and he dives in. Noah's tongue licks a wet stripe up your core from your entrance to your clit. You cry out, hands immediately finding his hair. Noah hums and you quiver, the vibrations stimulating you.

He licks into your folds with fervor, as if he hadn't eaten all day. His tongue dances and pokes at your entrance, pleasure spiking and you're squirming against his mouth. Noah laps at your clit, boldly taking the bud into his mouth and sucking at it. He then takes it into his mouth, swirling the sensitive area against his tongue, dancing in circles.

"Noah!!" you cry.

You arch your back, eyes rolling back as you grip his hair and pull, and he groans. Noah adjusts his position, shoving your legs up and he dives deeper into your pussy. He shoves his tongue up into it, swirling it and shaking his head like a rabid dog. You're practically crying out, thrusting against his face and leaving it a wet mess.

Offering you his fingers again, he dives against your clit once more, nipping at it and sucking it; this time, he aids his mouth with his fingers. Thrusting two digits in, his long fingers find your g-spot again. He mercilessly pokes at it, unrelenting with his tongue and fingertips. You're moaning and a mess and it's almost too much.

Your eyes see nothing but stars in the back of your head and you're moaning loudly. You cum and rut onto his mouth. "Fuck, fuck," you gasp.

Noah pops off of your pussy. "Tastes... so good..." he gasps. "I want more."

"I want you so bad, Noah," you whine. "I want you to fuck me."

"What a dirty mouth," he comments, stinking a finger in your mouth as he caresses your jaw. You wrap your lips around his finger and lock eyes with him. You suck and lock eyes with him. He smiles, and removes his finger.

Noah removes his pants and slides his boxers down his slim legs. The only thing you can do is lay there, mouth agape at the beautiful artwork before you. You bite your lip, you just can't wait.

He comes back to you, and you gasp in surprise when he forces your legs against your chest. Noah captures his lips in yours and lines his cock up with your entrance. He wastes no time in sinking in slowly. Due to your wetness, he slides in easily and sinks in as far as he's able. You're both gasping and long moans escape from your mouths and the intense heat between each other's legs.

He begins to move slowly, enjoying the teasing ways your walls grip his cock, threatening to take him deep.

"Fuck, baby... your pussy is just so fucking wet..." he mumbles. A low groan erupts from him, eliciting a moan from you.

His pace begins to quicken and he ruts in deeper. He just can't help himself when you give him the go-ahead by moaning louder.

Pretty soon, the room is filled with explicit sounds from the two of you. The sound of skin slapping fills the room and you're moaning. You're both mumbling the dirtiest phrases to each other, getting each other hotter and higher.

"Fuck" is the only word you chant as he thrusts into you like his life depends on it. He's fucking you hard and unforgiving.

"This pussy is mine," Noah growls into your ear, and you moan.

"Noah!!" You cry as his pace picks up, desperate and greedy. Skin slaps skin, near stinging, relentless. You can't help it when you cum, creating such a sinful sight for Noah as your wetness coats your legs and his cock.

He growls. "Fuck, I'm not done with you yet!" He pulls out and turns you over into doggy, pushing your stomach down and pulling your ass into the air.

He enters you again, finding his rhythm. Pulling you back against his hips in every thrust.

"Take me, take me, take me," you cry out.

Noah groans, picking up his pace. He twists his fingers into the strands of your hair, pulling your head back. He pounds into you, and at this angle the pleasure is overstimulating as his cock hits your spot over and over. He pulls you further back, forcing you to rise to your hands, the pace unforgiving and tears fall down your cheeks.

"Noah!" You cry once more.

Juices run down your legs as you cum one more time, but Noah doesn't seem to be done. You're worn out and fucked into bliss, drooling against the pillow. You can't think and your voice is hoarse.

He groans loudly, letting you know he's almost ready. You push back on his cock and he growls. Wrapping a hand around your throat and squeezing gently, he begins fucking in quick ruts. "Fuck, princess, (Y/N)!"

He pulls out of you, his cock glistening and pulsing as his cum shoots out in pearls against your stomach. You moan, but Noah isn't done.

His hand goes to your clit and he smirks. You cry out at the fast quick pace he uses on you, his fingers insert inside of you to smash against your g-spot in one final assault.

"Cum, (Y/N), one more for me," he insists. He doesn't stop, and quickens his pace.

"Noah, please!" You beg, too overstimulated and sensitive.

He doesn't listen, yet urges you towards an orgasm that feels like a tsunami coming for you.

It happens before you can stop yourself, your cum coming out in such a powerful wave that you squirt a little, making such a mess.

This absolutely pleases Noah and he smiles. "Perfect." He kisses your cheek. "You are wonderful." He praises.

You both lay there, panting and laughing, praising one another.

"Shower?"

"I think so."

#noah sebastian #bad omens #bad omens cult #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian smut #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo #nick folio #noah smut #the Shower Scene Noah

[vaspider]

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

Truly amazed at the people whose big takeaway from that thread is "you hate Pete Buttigieg" like buddy did you not... read... all of it?

I genuinely don't give a shit about Pete himself. If you think this is about Democratic self-devouring or whatever the fuck, please mentally substitute Ellen or George Takei or Rachel Maddow or your favorite Other Respectable Gay. I hear some dude named Rubin is even a conservative who is getting turned on for adopting a baby? I don't know who he is and I don't care (do not tell me, I do not care) but if it makes you feel better, substitute any of those names.

I think the ones that actually make me sad are the people who keep insisting that 70% of people support gay marriage, and that I'm just 'acting out my trauma', and we won't see things turn against us, we're perfectly safe now, how dare I say that cishets won't put themselves out for us when it counts, it's different now.

Honey, 99% of people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today, and what they'll support when it doesn't cost them anything has nothing to do with what they'll support when it does. Those of us telling you 'we were abandoned before, and we were the ones who took care of us then' aren't telling you because we're incorrigibly bitter misanthropes. I am annoyingly hopeful, actually, and in love with humanity and the beauty of life. Seriously, I have to write poems about it because I love the universe and all of humanity so fucking much. One of the things I love about humanity is its fragility and its uncertainty. I love the ways in which we fail.

And humans, over and over again, turn our eyes away from tragedy.

If you are lucky enough to have cishet friends and family who will put themselves out for you when it really matters, that is fucking fantastic. That's not nearly universal, and I'm afraid that you're going to find out sooner rather than later that it's far less universal for you than you'd like to believe.

At the end of the day, you can believe me or not about all of this. You can say that I'm just a bitter old transfag, an angry old dyke, a traumatized old queer if it lets you sleep better at night, if it allows you to just close your eyes and say 'this is all going to be fine, because 70% of people support marriage equality!' and get some rest. I can't make you pay attention.

And the thing is? I'd love to be wrong. I would absolutely love for every cishet who has ever said "one of them" or said "well, I mean, I just don't want to see it, they can do whatever they want in private" or whatever to turn out to be the raddest fucking ally the world has ever seen. I know it can happen! My in-laws went from being Baptist homophobes to getting weekly chatty update phone calls from the two trans women refugees from Latin America who they housed and helped get their papers sorted and who are now living in New York and call them Mom and Dad. Like, truly, it can fucking happen!

But you can't count on that from the vast majority of people, because when it comes down to it, most people want tomorrow to go on pretty much like today. You're much more likely to be able to count on someone with a dog in the hunt.

More than that, though, the point of that essay -- which, when people miss it, they miss it so hard that it feels deliberate, honestly -- is that all of our bullshit infighting doesn't mean dick. I've been saying that for years, begging people to think inclusively about our community, begging people to stop all the bullshit infighting because I could see this shit fucking coming, you didn't need to be Cassandra to see it coming but sometimes I felt like I was screaming until my throat was horse, the fucking tsunami is coming, it's coming, motherfuckers, can't you see the way the water is pulling back?

And here we are, and all the arguing about whether bi lesbians are "valid" doesn't matter, and everyone's attempt to gatekeep butch and femme doesn't matter, and everyone's arguments about whether neopronouns are bad doesn't fucking matter because we are all just fags, dykes and trannies to them, they do not care for one fucking second about any of this. None of them care for one second about our infighting. No one is going to stop and ask you what your orientation is so they can call you the right slur when they're gaybashing you, kids. They. Don't. Care.

So now here we are, and people are acting like the point of the essay is that I wanted to call one particular dude a fag, rather than that it doesn't matter how perfectly primed you are to fit into Respectable WASP Society, it is your queerness which is objectionable. It is your gayness. It is your transness. It is your bisexuality, your asexuality, your lesbianism. You will never be granted rights and respectability. You have to defend your rights, and stop giving a shit about respectability as a metric of whether or not someone deserves them.

I mean, for fuck's sake, some Iowa voters tried to withdraw their caucus support once they realized that Pete was gay. It literally fucking happened. There's video. Someone they supported above all the other candidates in the Iowa primary was immediately disqualified for them to the point where they tried to retract their support the minute they found out he was gay.

That's the fucking point. I don't care who you use as your Proxy Respectable Gay.

Pete Buttigieg is not the fucking point.

[faeriekit]

Health and Hybrids (XVI)👽👻💚

[I can't remember the original prompt posters  for the life of me but here's a mashup between a cryptid!Danny, presumed-alien!Danny, dp x dc, and the prompt made the one body horror meat grinder fic.]

PART ONE is here PART TWOis here PART THREE is here PART FOUR is here and PART FIVE is here PART SIX is here and PART SEVEN is here PART EIGHT is here PART NINE is here PART TEN is here PART ELEVEN is here PART TWELVE is here PART THIRTEEN is here PART FOURTEEN is here PART FIFTEEN is here and this is sixteen *SixTeen theme plays*

💚 Ao3 Is here for all parts

Where we last left off... Martian Manhunter finds out that,yeah, dude, when your brain is missing chunks, you can't write or access data without the hardware to store it. My dude remembers nothing.

Trigger warnings for this story:  body horror | gore | post-dissection fic | dehumanization (probably) |  my nonexistent attempts at following DC canon. On with the show.

💚👻👽👻💚

Days pass. Nights pass.

(He thinks.)

He gets a new room. This one has a window. He can’t stare at it all the time, but when he does, he can feel himself growing stronger. Steadier. The change in his body is borderline tangible.

If only it was physical. He’s still too weak to lift anything but his arms, and not even all the way. Moving his head is tiring. Lifting his head is impossible.

But he tries.

A lot.

The doctors and the lady have to make upset noises with him when he does, but he wants to be able to see everything they’re doing to him. So far it’s a lot of tubes and needles, but what if they become scalpels and clamps?

…Danny tries to assure himself that they probably won’t be.

But they might. Things could change.

And that eats at him constantly.

Someone puts a big circle on the wall in his room. It’s large. It’s a little fuzzy at its distance on the far wall, but it’s got little arms on it, and little dots in equal degrees around the circumference. It takes him almost two napping periods to realize that it’s a clock.  

Danny squints. He can...almost read analog. (Probably.) It sure doesn’t help that he has no idea when night is and when day is, though. He sleeps at one hour and wakes up at another, and the room will look entirely the same. Was it a few hours’ sleep, or a day’s? Was it longer? The world spins outside his window, big and blue, and he spins against it in a station on a lonely moon. There’s no way to tell.

Someone eventually notices that he’s bored, though, because he gets a television and a remote.

It’s a super thin television. At first, Danny spends time wondering why they put a screen with no system in his room, and then hour later the lady starts pressing buttons on the remote, and the screen lights up with a news program.

…The TV is too far away to see all that clearly. He can see some of it when he squints, but then all the colors turn lime green.

The banner on the bottom of the screen scrolls with headlines, and cool, it looks like they invented new letters while Danny was asleep. Fantastic. His head hurts from trying to squint to read, but it kind of looks like a kindergartener scribbled all over an otherwise serious news report.

Great. Now he’s getting a headache.

But the noise is…nice. It’s distracting. The news anchors chatter seriously as Danny gets yet another IV swapped out in his arm, and the heavily geared-up doctors have started telling Danny things he doesn’t like to listen to too much because if it is threats, great, he should ignore that; if it’s not threats, then, well, Danny’s bored of it all anyway.

“—Wel?”

Danny blinks. Well. That sounds like ‘Well’.

He shifts just enough to make eye contact. A doctor looks down at him from their place at his bedside. Their scrubs are kind of blue-green, with little flowers on the trim.

They have human eyes. The sight of soft, brown eyes probably ought to be reassuring, but they just make Danny more nervous.

“Eow eart wel?” They ask again, soft and slow. That middle bit sounds kind of like ‘art’. Ha. Old timey Shakespeare. ‘Art well,’ like ‘you art well—‘

Wait. Danny takes a deep breath. Blinks. His chest arcs up, just a little—just enough for the doctor to realize that Danny’s more than just looking, he’s paying attention. Are they asking him if he’s well?

Danny reflexively opens his mouth and flexes his throat, tries to answer—

Nope. Ow. The noise he makes sounds like the garbage disposal is backed up with angry blob ghosts. It hurts just to make. But the sound makes the doctor look at him; they see him.

“Inne cwic tima!” Danny hears, and then they’re jogging out of the room, and Danny is left alone. His throat hurts.

His head thumps back onto his pillow. The news program plays on. There’s a damaged city he’s never seen before on the news.

…And then the doctor comes back. Danny’s head is swimming, so he almost doesn’t notice their return, but they’re holding something, and that something has a sippy straw.

Danny is perfectly happy with a sippy straw.

The straw is put into his mouth. Danny goes sippy sippy.

…The water sloshes a little weirdly through his throat. Some of his tubes might not be where they ought to be, which is weird. Isn’t he supposed to be human right now? Or. Uh. Kind of human? Human equivalent? …Close enough…?

Danny drinks. When the pain in his throat goes to normal pain levels instead of new and angry pain levels, he lets go of the straw, and the doctor lets him.

Their fingers carefully brush Danny’s hair. Not very hard. A little too slowly. Just at the hairline. But it reminds Danny so much of sitting at home with Dad on the couch, home from school with a fever as Muppets tapes play in the background, that tears leak out of his busted eyes. The tears are probably just as green.

“Eow eart wel?” the doctor asks again. So gently. So careful.

“I’m tired,” Danny rasps.

The effort of speaking crashes into him in seconds. If things are happening around him, he doesn’t understand any of it. Nothing reaches him. He’s so tired.

He’s out before he knows it.

#Martian Manhunter: he's bored. Give the boy a television #Medical: :0 Sir yes sir!! #Medical when they hear Danny: HE SPEAKS!!! :D #Medical when they realize they can't understand him: OH NO!!! D: MM COME BACK PLEASE #health and hybrids #dp x dc #danny phantom #dpxdc #dcxdp #tw gore #tw medical #tw body horror #dcu crossover #Danny realizing he didn't know how to read analog even when he was well: shit. >:(

[rationalisms]

sorry to whack a wasp's nest, and i am prefacing all of this by saying that i enjoyed the game and think there are a lot of good aspects to it, but!

i am genuinely so sick of the way people talk about baldur's gate 3

i don't think it should have won game of the year

it's so, so irritating to see people claim over and over that bg3 is somehow groundbreaking for the genre or some sort of trailblazing star in a charred wasteland that has seen no good release since dragon age: origins. and like, it's not just idiots in the steam reviews and on reddit who are talking like this (though they are fucking everywhere on both. one of the highest rated posts on the bg3 sub for months was some dude literally going "i've never played a ttrpg or crpg and i believe bg3 is a game changer" fucking lol). it's also like. professional video game journalists and reviewers. a lot of them!

and like. dragon age: origins is really not a particularly good game compared to many of its contemporaries and i seriously do not understand the chokehold it has on people but that aside, since it was released we've had so many incredible and amazing crpgs that featured outstanding writing, game design, art direction, music, voice acting, etc. the pillars of eternity duology, underrail, the wasteland series, tyranny, atom, the shadowrun trilogy, the pathfinder duology, even the fucking games larian made before this, the divinity: original sin duology are all doing what bg3 did, and often better than bg3 does it. and that's not even getting into the many, many games that came out before either that still hold up as masterpieces that leave both bg3 and da:o in the dust like planescape: torment or fallout 1 and 2!

in fact, it's really easy to compare larian's previous game, divinity: original sin 2, to baldur's gate 3 because they are incredibly similar in many ways down to the inciting incident being almost a 1 to 1 copy (you wake up captured on a ship and realize you've been shackled in a way thay suppresses your powers and harms you and the first act is dedicated to finding others who this has happened to and getting rid of it). except that dos2 handles a lot of the things bg3 also contains a lot better, like e.g. companion story progression. (it's absolutely baffling to have story progression tied to rests especially when the game goes out of its way to instill fake urgency in the player that can very easily lead to them avoiding rests and makes especially many early game moments permanently missable if you don't happen to rest enough times at the right time. my karlach romance got bricked in my first playthrough for this reason. also compounding this is the fact that even on tactician the game is so easy that you can go ages without needing to rest organically.)

dos2 also unquestionably has the better combat experience because the system was designed specifically for the game and around the games capabilities and limitations, whereas bg3 had to contend with trying to make d&d 5e work in a video game format when that's patently not what it was designed for. the amount of changes larian had to make to the ruleset to make 5e work for a video game should have been a sign that using 5e was probably just not a good choice. (and ftr i felt the same about the game solasta which also uses 5e.) and even with the rule changes and the way larian went out of its way to buff the extremely underwhelming and underperforming 5e martials, character building and progression is still nowhere near as versatile and exciting as it was in dos2 or other crpgs and you still have a lot of empty level ups or repetitive gameplay because you can only put so many rhine stones on a turd.

let me be clear: i don't think bg3 is a bad game. again, i liked it! i think it has some instances of really good writing (mainly in companion narratives and side stories imo, the main story is underwhelming as whole). the voice acting performances are fantastic. larian tried their best to make non-linear problem solving possible in a lot of places which is neat (but also makes the lack of them in other places really obvious and more annoying than it otherwise would have been tbh lol.)

i just hate the way that bg3 is treated like some sort of gold standard when it stands on the shoulders of predecessors who are just as good, if not better, but who get ignored because they don't have fully mocapped and voice acted character models or a 3D camera. there seems to be this complete reticence from so many people to play games that still utilize things like an isometric pov, despite the fact that the games which do so are designed around this. e.g. pillars of eternity and the shadowrun games are some of the most beautiful, artistically impressive rpgs i have ever played and make full use of the isometric perspective in its fullest to create absolutely stunning environmental design which wouldn't have been possible with a rotating camera. just because a technology is older doesn't mean it is worse! people absolutely should get out of their comfort zone more because they are missing out on so many gems otherwise.

also re: bg3 winning game of the year specifically: look, here's why this gets me so tilted. on release? vast swathes of the game were legitimately unplayable. act 1 was mostly alright because it had 5 years to cook in early release with constant community feedback and bug reporting. this was absolutely not true for act 2 and 3. act 3 in particular was legitimately just not working for me (and multiple of my friends). i have a soupy gaming PC that can play other contemporary games on ultra settings just fine, and yet i got as few as 2 FPS and frankly ludicrous amount of stuttering and lag on even the lowest settings while my poor CPU sounded like she was preparing for space flight. it's clear that they just did not optimize later acts at all. they did eventually fix the memory leak issue somewhat in later patches, but the performance in act 3 is still markedly much worse than the rest of the game. (also why the fuck is it like 200GB good fucking g-d learn to compress your shit larian!) and that's not even getting into how many quests were bugged and as a result not able to be completed.

in summary: i paid 60 bucks for something that released in an unfinished state that put my hardware at risk. i spent a lot of money on a game i was unable to complete in the state that i bought it in and that took several months to get to an actually playable state for many people. that is not fucking acceptable.

i am willing to cut larian a lot more slack than i would say, e.g. bethesda, on releasing buggy and poorly optimized games. which is why i was willing to patiently wait for a performance patch to replay it. i am not, however, willing to accept handing something that was patently not finished and did not give customers the product they paid for an award for game of the year.

that's a symptom of an industry that has gotten too fucking comfortable releasing unfinished games and putting the onus of bug detection and quality testing on its paying userbase. that's not my job! i paid for this because i expect a product that has already successfully underwent this process! but apparently games these days don't need to bother with that anymore because it doesn't matter if it's playable on release or not, they can still get a coveted industry award for it anyway.

tl;dr: bg3 is literally fine but i am begging everyone on my hands and knees to broaden their horizons and also the things we deem to be acceptable from gaming companies nowadays are shocking. ok. i'm done. sorry.

#txt

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

It’s time for another Fic Rec List fellow humans!!!

And boy howdy do I have a LOT this time lmao. A good chunk of them are Kyle-centric, bc I, like my son Stan Marsh, have been fixated on that guy. Also there are multiple from the same authors bc I find something I like and read EVERYTHING by them.

There’s a range of pairings on this list too bc I’ll read pretty much anything (still mostly style they do be my favorite) so hopefully if u see ur favorite ship or an intriguing concept this’ll steer you to somethin u like!

Here ya go!

* (rem)ember by boxwinebaddie. Ok we all knew I was gonna start the list w this one bc I am OBSESSED!!! Style holy shit! Crimson Dawn! Mentally unstable law student Kyle! RAVEN!!! The friendships and group dynamics! Rm lives rent free in my head dude plsplspls check it out!

* Painted In Shrouds by courtanie. Y’all want some Kysterion? This is one of my favorites! And NOBODY does Kenny like this author seriously. We got espionage! We got organized crime! We got overworked cfo Kyle! We got working together to take down the bad guys! We got blood and injuries and falling in love!

* Swansong by OrcaTimes. Fair warning this made me ugly cry. No one writes Craig like OrcaTimes YALL the Cryle destroyed me and doctor Craig always slays!!! It’s a beautiful story about love and grief, just GORGEOUS!!!

* Collector by cement_shoes. WHOLESOME STYLE ONESHOT!!! Them over the years, taking care of each other, Kyle handling bugs for Stan when he’s scared of them, growing up together and the trials of being human, but with someone always on your side. This one is SO sweet and gorgeously written, and a quick read too.

* A Ballad Of True Hearts by luckypoppies. Dude we all know I’m feral about SOT Style and THIS RIGHT HERE EATS!!!!! The history, the betrayal, the FANTASY VIOLENCE AND THERES THIS FIGHT SO FAR THAT SLAYS SO HARD! Being falsely accused of treason and subsequently exiled, tasked with escorting your prince to safety, GOD you just FEEL for the boys in this (plus we got them taking care of each other like yes yes gimme that fantasy whump) the world building is AWESOME I love sot AU’s and how different authors come up w the lore!

* Behind The Wall by Jwink85. Alright this one STARTS OUT nice, and is such an accurate representation of manipulative abusive relationships. Damien man holy shit. There’s so much going on in this, and the STAN PLOT OMG (yes style I love them) Kyle and Stan reconciling, Ike is my DISTRUSTING KING, high school angst, Tweek and Kyle friendship, Kenny being an icon, and I’ve said before but I love when Kyle’s written as generally wanting to see the good in people but still fiery in his own right, this is (a lot of jwinks stuff really that’s why I like their works so much) a great example of that!

* Simply Expandable by Kivea. YO WHO ORDERED THE MOB AU!!! Dude we got private investigator Craig, rival gangs, supernatural elements and mystery, conspiracy, fucking MOB BOSS KYLE?!?!? Kyle’s a bamf in this holy shit and bodyguard Stan, (this is Cryle btw and it’s fantastic) former k2, twenny, underground fighting rings, some KICKASS gang fights and the true antagonists bro the reveal was SICK! And when I say it’s a The Gangs All Here fic, I mean EVERYONE it’s wild and such a fun read it had me on the edge of my seat!

* And The Lightning Cracks The Sky by PastorCraigEnjoyer. Yeah yeah it’s cringe to rec your own shit sue me. But like Druid prince Kyle, Smokejumper Stan, forest fires, little mermaid but in the northern rockies ass plot, OVERLY PERCEPTIVE KENNY, mutual pining, magic, my beloved injury recovery (I gotta fuck Stan up ok) (I’m the worst)(giving Kyle chronic pain who me never) falling in love and saving each other’s lives, EVIL Cartman, I LOVED WRITING THIS ONE SO FUCKING MUCH it’s truly my baby.

* A quiet place (where I can scream how I love you) by sleep2thefr33zing. Coming of age style!!! So much emotional tension dude the pining is so fucking good, the first chapter is Stan’s perspective and the second one is Kyle and it’s BEAUTIFULLY PAINFUL WHEN THEYRE BOTH DOWN BAD BUT THINK THE OTHER ISNT!!! I love them being there for each other through all the bullshit of growing up, how resonant their falling outs are, it’s just so incredibly gorgeous and you really feel their emotions along with them.

* Knives by SparrowGrim. Ok so kyman isn’t my cup of tea but I’m putting it on the list bc some people do like it and this is an OBJECTIVELY FANTASTIC STORY!!! Tbh I only clicked bc I saw that it was Kyle centric (and that injury tag what can I say I eat that shit up) but I was HOOKED! Dark urbania, gangs running the streets, THE CODE NAMES SLAY SO HARD, we also got creek bunny stendy dip, the character relations are all so cool and the plot is WILD! Also Butters Kenny Stan and Craig are so badass jesus. Not even a ship I like but I loved the story.

* Peering Through Windows by Jwink85. C’mon I gotta have another jwink on the list and this one is SO. FUCKING. GOOD. K2 has been one of my favorites lately and THIS!!! We got dark cryle (my beloved) but when I say dark I mean CRAIG IS SO DEPRAVED!!! Like dude. But the story is THRILLING and artist Kenny is so kickass, Stan is a dad I literally cried over that small detail lmfao and I love jwinks Kyles and their idealistic nature (also I’m a sucker for any artist character) this story broke my heart and mended it again it’s incredible.

* Hunger Pains by Bellweather. Ain’t nobody doin Stan like bellweather MY SWEET PRECIOUS BOY UGH!!! The style is so great omg. The main four dynamic in this is wonderful, them trying to help Kyle through his ED (damn I really do read a lot of shit where Kyle’s suffering huh) all the characters are so well fleshed out and IKE I LOVE IKE IN THIS! The chapters have individual content warnings which is a great touch. Craig having prophetic dreams! Kenny dying multiple times! Chaos! Teenage camaraderie! There’s plenty of humor to make up for the dark shit but it DOES get dark. The mystery element in the beginning is really cool too I definitely have read this one multiple times.

* Find Somebody by hypercatt. STYLE!!! Stan-centric and so so so good, I love a platonic stendy team up too. some of the senior class goes “missing” and WHEN I TELL YALL I WAS so nervous that I read it out of order to make sure everything turned out okay lmao seriously this one had me WRITHING! There’s a gorgeous analogy throughout of physical hurts as a metaphor for mental illness and healing that just SPOKE TO MY SOUL!!! And there are so many beautiful moments, especially near the end, and the message of opening up and not running from your problems is beautifully written. Another one that occupies my brain lmao.

* To Have And To Hold by courtanie. Yes this is another one where Craig is SERIOUSLY DEPRAVED but hear me out!!! The plot, like I would DIE to adapt this to the screen, you feel like you’re watching a dark kidnapping race against time when reading this. And THE K2 IN THIS HOLY FUCK!!! Another one of my favorite Kennys ever and it’s so frustrating for the reader and the characters because WE ALL KNOW WHO TOOK KYLE BUT THE COPS ARENT DOING SHIT! The ending is unbelievably satisfying and the rest of the gang teaming up is so awesome STAN AND KENNY GOING FERAL OVERPROTECTIVE I live for that. But god the shit Kyle is subjected to, but he doesn’t lose that fire (Kyle ily sry)

* When The World Shakes, Hold Me by Bellweather & Blinkxs. The world building in this is PHENOMENAL!!! Post apocalyptic stuff, survival, STYLE!!! Some serious dark themes tho this is a heartbreaking read like damn check the tags frfr but the writing is MAGNETIC!

* -South Park- Style Sickfic/ Injury Fic Requests by AlwaysInSTYLE. Alright alright we all know I love my style hurt comfort and this is a request book/ oneshot series that’s JUST Stan and Kyle taking care of each other and I LOVE IT. you’d think it would get old but it DOES NOT. they’re not repetitive at all, and really fun reads! If you check it out, tell her PCE sent you we’re homies.

* Rookie Mistakes by espyonz. I love me some stenny and BRUH STANSTERION!!! Long oneshot that had me hooked. We got gentle hearted detective Stan who truly wants to protect and serve and is out of place in a corrupt police department. KENNY AS MYSTERION we know I love that shit, and he’s so awesome in this!!! The team up of Kenny Stan and Wendy to find missing people and uncover the truth behind their disappearances is AMAZING. We got Wendy as the tech girl which is SO slay (plus she and Heidi are together asjdhdks) and Kenny is hilarious in this, like he’s such a little shit and I adore this adaptation of his superhero persona. This one dropped LAST NIGHT and I’m so glad I didn’t make a red list post until now bc THIS NEEDED TO BE ON IT!!!

* Seven Candles by courtanie. Yep another one I’m tellin u, one of the best Kenny writers out there. So uhh Kyle in a Very Bad Situation again, like some of it was really tough to read. BUT!!! We got a war between heaven and hell!!! KENNY AS A FUCKING ARCHANGEL ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!? (I live for courtanie’s overprotective kenny holy shit) this is legitimately my favorite Kenny interpretation IVE EVER READ HES SO FUCKING AWESOME!!! Plus we got satan being Done with Damien’s shit lmao and Kyle making friends with a hellhound which is fun. THE FINAL BATTLE WAS SO COOL TOO I LOST MY MIND!

* Why Remind Me by Kasen. One of the best style oneshots BRUH it’s so good with such a wholesome ending and the FEELINGS CONFESSIONS!!! The boys playing superhero, then later we got high school style and an accident that leads to a reminder of a kiss and UGH ITS SO CUTE!! Just- just read this one I love it sm.

#south park #fic recs #recommendations #recommendation list #sp fanfiction #ao3 #fanfiction #multiple pairings #style #k2 #cryle #stenny #stendy #stary #twenny #weidi #kyman #I don’t personally ship kyman but it was still a good fic #fic rec #courtanie Bellweather and Jwink85 slay ok #I live on ao3

[anotherfuckingmarvelfanaccount]

Tony’s Birthday (Tony Stark x Reader)

God, the writers block on this one was real, my dudes. I couldn’t come up with anything, and then I finally had a breakthrough and no time to write. And then I wrote like 2k words in a night. So, my brain works in fantastic ways. Now that it’s finally written, please enjoy this shameless sex with plot with Tony Stark.

Warnings: There is smut in this, and I think I’m like legally obligated to warn minors about that. Remember that you choose the content you consume. There’s swearing, I’m sure. I don’t normally get through a paragraph without one. Mentions of lingerie, dresses, alcohol, and hangovers. Tony Stark, always comes with his own warning.

Word Count: 6149

Summary: After weeks of not knowing what to get Tony for his birthday, you finally come up with an idea. Spoiler alert, he loves it.

Tomorrow is your husband, Tony Stark’s, birthday. And you have no idea what to get him. He’s throwing himself a big party, or rather you and Pepper are, and you’re just having Tony foot the bill while you two plan. But what do you get a billionaire for his birthday? He has everything he could ever wish for, as he’s told you multiple times. But seriously, he doesn’t even have something on his Amazon wish list, especially since he bought Amazon a couple years back.

So that, again, begs the question. What do you get Tony; genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist that he is; for his birthday?

Well, what about you? You’ve been married a while, you’ve obviously had sex. But what if you went out and got yourself a new set of lingerie? Give Tony a surprise for his birthday, and maybe put a bow on top. Tony would love that. You thought, grabbing your purse and leaving.

At the store, you looked through many different sets, even finding ones modeled after all of the Avengers. Sets after Sam and Thor here, you and Natasha there, Bucky and Steve, Clint, even Loki! Or was that Bruce? Nope, Loki, his name was written across the ass of the panties. Oh, but there was the set modeled after Bruce, more coverage, that made sense. Oh, and there was one for each of the twins too, wow. Tony would get so jealous he’d just rip it right off of me and- nope, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves in the middle of the store. Before moving, you saw a set for Peter too and decided not to grab it since Tony might literally kill you. That’s my son, you thought, moving it to the side. Not only has Peter become a son to Tony, he called me Mom by accident last week. You did pick up one of each of the rest though, just thinking about what Tony would do to you seeing you in them lighting a fire within you.

And then you saw the set you were looking for. Red adorned with gold, sheer lace cups with gold accents and crotchless red panties with IRON MAN written on the back in gold. He won’t even have to take it off to fuck me. He might buy this entire store just so he can- your train of thought was cut off by your phone ringing. Tony, of course.

“Hey Tone.” You said, picking up and adding the set to your basket.

“Hello, my beautiful wife.” He replied. “I was looking for you, where are you?”

“I’m just picking up some last minute things for the party tomorrow. Why, do you need me?” You asked, walking over to an open register and placing your basket down.

You could hear the smirk before he even started talking. “You’re late for our weekly lab meeting.” Of course. He means your weekly fucking in the lab while Bruce takes a convienently long lunch break after walking in on the two of you going at it 4 weeks in a row.

“I’m almost done here, and I’m not that far, I’ll be home soon.” You said, hanging up quickly.

The cashier looked at you star-struck and you were confused for a moment before you remembered that you too were an Avenger and you were married to Iron Man. “Can I have your autograph?” She asked softly, holding out a notebook filled with the signatures of the other Avengers.

“Of course, hun.” You said, taking the pen from her and signing in the last available spot. Which ironically, was next to Tony’s. That wasn’t hard, though. The man you chose to marry had a gigantic signature. “You need anybody else’s?” You asked softly.

“No thank you. You’re the last one. Do you need a bag?”

You nodded, internally facepalming at not having brought one. “Yes please. Do you need anything else or just for me to pay?”

“I can’t think of anything ma’am. Did you need anything?”

“Why don’t you and everyone that works here come to Tony’s birthday party tomorrow? Since I’m the last one to sign your little book, I assume everybody else comes in here pretty regularly.”

“Yes ma’am, they do.” She said, handing you the bag. “Mr. Stark is here about every other month.” Well that lines up with when I get surprises. You thought, smiling. “Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes always come in together, and they got quite the laugh out of the Avenger’s line of sets last time they were here. Mr. Wilson has come with them a few times, but he normally likes to come by himself. Thor and Loki have come in together more than once, but Thor really prefers to look.” You laughed at that. “Mr. Barton usually comes in alone, as do Ms. Romanoff and Dr. Banner. And the Maximoff twins have come in together before, but they usually prefer separately. It was funny the day one of them was in here and the other came in and saw them.” She told you. 

“Has Peter Parker ever been in here?” You asked, seemingly innocent.

She looked sheepish, “Just once, ma’am, and I guess he must’ve used Mr. Stark’s card since after buying his one item, he got a very angry phone call which sounded like it had something to do with safe sex and why Mr. Parker was spending Mr. Stark’s money at a lingerie shop.”

“Oh, Tony.” You sighed, turning towards the door with your bag. Before you left, you turned back. “Thank you. But I never caught your name, hun.”

“Oh, I’m Rachel Green.” She said, “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Stark. Your husband is one of our best customers.”

You nodded, sighing again. “Yeah, I’d believe it. Thank you, Rachel. And don’t forget to come to the party tomorrow.”

“I won’t. Have a great day!”

“You too!” You told her, finally pushing the door open and walking quickly back to Stark Tower so you could hide your shopping from Tony before having your lab “meeting”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day, after a day of Avenging Paperwork (aka, filling in mission reports from the last month and filing them since you were the only one Tony let into the records room, digital or otherwise), you went up to the penthouse that you shared with Tony to find a bright red dress laying on the bed, with gold jewelry laying on your vanity.

“Mr. Stark has requested that you wear this tonight for him, Mrs. Stark.” JARVIS said. You’d been through so much with Tony and JARVIS that him speaking out of quite literally nowhere didn’t even scare you anymore.

“Why am I not even surprised, J? How long has he been picking outfits out for me now, 5 years?”

The AI spoke again, “Ever since your first party as his date, Mrs. Stark, 8 years ago now.”

“God, has it really been that long?” You asked yourself, stripping down and pulling out the Iron Man lingerie. “We’re getting old.”

“At least he let you pick your wedding dress.” JARVIS said, with a hint of humor in his robotic voice.

You laughed out loud while slipping on the dress, noting that it hugged you perfectly, had a much deeper neckline than you anticipated, and a very long slit up your right side up to your hip. “Very true J. And even though he told me that there was no limit, I still didn’t want to go too overboard.”

“He found it funny that he gave you unlimited money and you picked what was essentially the cheapest dress in the store.”

“That sounds like my husband’s sense of humour.” You said, sighing softly as you clasped the necklace behind your neck. When it came to the bracelet, however, you couldn’t get it on. When it was clasped, you couldn’t slip it on around your hand, but unclasped, you couldn’t shut it around your wrist. “Ah, fuck, Tony should know better by now to get me bracelets. I can’t ever get them on by myself.” You slipped on the extra rings Tony had left for you, knowing that you liked to wear lots of them, and put in the dangly earrings that were mini Iron Man suits.

As you were finishing up your makeup, Jarvis spoke again. “Mrs. Stark, would you like me to call someone for you to help you zip up your dress and clasp the bracelet?”

“Would you call Natasha for me, J?” You asked, starting on your hair, since the rest of your outfit was finished and ready for the party.

A moment later, there was a knock on your bedroom door. “Y/N? Are you okay? JARVIS said you needed my help.”

You opened the door. “J, you gotta stop worrying people. I’m fine, Nat. Zipper and bracelet.” You pulled her in and shut the door behind the both of you.

“My dearest apologies, Mrs. Stark. You know I never mean to worry anyone when their assistance is needed.” JARVIS told you both softly, trying to match the volume you both were speaking at, something Tony had thankfully programmed in him a long time ago.

“Okay, turn around, Y/N.” Nat told you, slowly taking in the new dress Tony had bought for you. You did, and she zipped you up. “This dress is lovely. One of Tony’s best choices in a while.”

“I’m sure he thinks it’s his birthday present, getting to spend money on me again.” You said, chuckling as you fidgeted nervously with your rings.

Natasha noticed your change in demeanour immediately. “Why are you nervous? You’re never nervous for one of Tony’s parties.” She said, clasping the bracelet around your non-dominant wrist.

“I just bought Tony’s present yesterday on a whim, and now I’m not as sure if he’ll like it.”

“What did you buy him? Can I see?”

“Um, well.. kind of.. not really.”

“Can you tell me what it is or where you got it from?”

“You know that cute little shop on 43rd that has the clerk with the notepad of Avengers’ signatures?” You asked, not making eye contact with her.

Natasha gasped softly. “You got yourself a new pair of lingerie for Tony’s birthday! Which set? Which set?” She went from shocked to excited in the blink of an eye.

“I mean, there’s that new Avengers line, y’know?” You continued nervously.

“You got the Iron Man ones?” She asked bluntly.

“I got all of them except the Spiderman ones. But I’m currently wearing the Iron Man ones.” Natasha raised an eyebrow. “Bruce isn’t the only one with a raging green monster.” You said, looking at her to gauge her reaction.

She smirked, nodding her head in agreement with your plan. “So not tonight, but at some point, you’re gonna have crazy jealous sex with Tony when he discovers you bought every set from the Avengers line except Spiderman?”

“He’s like a kid to both of us!” You started to defend yourself. “But yeah. Yup. That’s the plan.”

“He’s gonna fuck the shit out of you.” She said, laughing.

You laughed along with her, knowing from your girls nights how much the both of you enjoy having your brains fucked out of you. “And that’s exactly what we want. You ready to go?”

“I am ready if you’re ready, Mrs. Stark.” Natasha said, offering you her arm to walk down the stairs in the stilettos Tony had picked out for you, despite knowing you couldn’t walk in them. You assumed that he did it on purpose at this point, so you’d have to stay near the Avengers the whole night as a form of using him (or one of the other Avengers) for balance.

“My husband is an asshole for doing this to me with every new pair of shoes he picks out for me.” You said, stumbling down the hall even while Nat was holding you up. “And every year for his birthday, he gets me a new sparkly red dress with gold accents. The entire world knows that I belong to him, does he really need to have me in his colours?”

“You’re currently wearing his colours under the dress, on purpose, with his name across the ass of the crotchless panties.” You went to make a smart remark about how would she know when she answered the question you hadn’t yet asked. “You weren’t the only one that’s checked out the new line, hun.”

“Fair enough.” You said, just as the elevator doors opened for the both of you into the party.

Nat wrapped her arm around your waist and led you over to Tony. “Stark, I know you love Y/N, but why do you give her shoes she can’t even walk in every time that you pick them out?” She said, picking you up and placing you on the barstool in between Steve and Bucky but next to Tony.

“I like her staying over here instead of talking to the rich assholes in the room.” He said, passing you your drink of choice.

“I’m married to the richest asshole of them all.” You said, sipping at it. “And if they’re such big assholes, why do you invite them to every party you throw?”

“Because us rich assholes have to stick together, sweetheart. Now, if you’ll excuse me…”

You grabbed his wrist. “I will not, birthday boy. I wasn’t done with you yet.”

“Ooh, are we starting the gifts early?” He asked, rubbing his hands together childishly.

“You’re not getting your present from me if you get yourself drunk tonight, Tone. I love you, but you’re gonna wanna remember this present.”

Tony gave you a kiss on the forehead. “I won’t touch another drop of alcohol, sweetness. If you say that I’m going to remember this, I’m going to memorize every single detail of whatever your surprise may be.” He told you, before squeezing your hand and walking away quickly.

“Loki?” You asked, leaning to see him better.

“Hold on, brother, it’s not quite late enough to be as drunk as you are. Just wait a little, and then you can have it back.” He said, pulling Thor’s flask out of his hand. “Yes, Y/N?” He asked, turning to you. 

You pulled the flask from Loki’s hand and passed it to Steve. “Don’t drink that too fast, super soldiers.” You told them before turning back to Loki. “You know a sobering spell, right?”

“I do. I should hope that I won’t need to use it tonight, but I have a sobering spell should you need it for your husband.”

“Thank you, Loki.” You said, striking up more conversations with the Avengers, even though you had seen them not even two hours ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Five hours later, since Tony’s parties always ran late into the night, all of the guests had left, and it was just the Avengers back upstairs in the living room of the penthouse.

“Okay, present time?” Tony said, hopefully. 

“Hasn’t gracing you with our presence all night been enough?” Loki asked sarcastically. “Besides, what do you get the man who can buy himself whatever he wants?”

“Yeah Tony, you don’t even have an Amazon wishlist.” Clint said, spinning a drumstick.

Rhodey passed him a box. “You just have to get him something from the heart.” 

“You’re just saying that because you’ve known him since his drunk MIT days.” Bucky said, also sliding a box in Tony’s direction. 

“Oh, honey bear!” Tony exclaimed. “An AC/DC mixtape!” (“What is this, the 90’s?” was said by Peter in the background) “And their newest album!” (“They’re still releasing music?” Peter continued, more than a little drunk.”)

You stood up, “Okay, Pete. Time for bed, buddy. I’ll call May and let her know you’ll be home in the morning after breakfast.” You told him, taking him down to the room you and Tony had specifically set up for Peter for when you couldn’t pry the two of them from the lab with a Hulk. Trust me, you tried. 

Since you had taken off your stilettos hours ago, preferring to just wander around barefoot since you couldn’t sneak another pair of shoes in, it was only Peter who was stumbling down the hall, clinging onto you. When you got to his room, you realized that the only clothes in the drawers were from when this was your room, before you and Tony got together.

“Peter?” You asked softly.

He rolled his head towards you, slurring his words slightly. “Yeah, Mom?”

You smiled, looking fondly at the drunk boy you had come to see as your son. “We’ve gotta get you out of your fancy clothes, but the only clothes in here are mine. Is it okay if I go get you one of Tony’s shirts and a pair of sweatpants?”

“Of course!” He said excitedly. “I might never bring clothes to keep at the Tower if I get to wear Dad’s!” 

You chuckled softly, knowing that was exactly why he didn’t have any here yet. You’d make sure you picked some up from May when you dropped him off tomorrow. “Can you stay awake until I get back?” You asked, knowing he’d be asleep by the time you got back anyways.

“Sure I can!”

“And can you take off everything but your boxers for me, bud?”

“Mhmm!” Peter said, nodding excitedly in agreement. “I’ll start right now for you, Mom!” He started fumbling through it, but got one shoe off before you left the room, walking back upstairs to get some of Tony’s clothes for the boy to wear.

“How is he?” Natasha asked, noting your return.

You laughed. “Very drunk. And without clothes in the room we set up for him, Tone. I’m gonna steal one of your shirts and a pair of sweats for him, ‘kay?”

“Anything for that kid. Did you get him down that easily?”

“He wasn’t out when I left. But he had started taking his shoes off so I could help him into some sleep clothes.” You called from the bedroom, rummaging around in the drawers. “And I’m gonna make him drink some water, and I’ll leave pain pills on the nightstand for him. Also, how the hell did you get him drunk? He has a faster metabolism than most people, he’s fucking Spiderman!”

“That was me.” Clint said, holding a shot glass. “Spider metabolism takes about 4 shots of tequila to overcome.”

Thor added, “And he was only slightly tipsy after that! He quite enjoyed the Asgardian mead that the Captain, Sergeant, and I were drinking!”

“You gave Peter alien alcohol?!” You and Tony exclaimed at the same time.

“It didn’t affect him all that much until the 3rd shot, and by that point he had had shots of rum and whiskey in his system too.” Loki told you, gauging your reactions.

“You mixed alcohol in my kid?!?” Tony exclaimed.

You closed your eyes, feeling a headache coming on just from the sheer stupidity of the Avengers when they’re tipsy. “I’m gonna send May a text that Peter’s sleeping over. And J?” You asked.

“Yes, Mrs. Stark?”

“Will you remind whoever drops Peter off to pick up clothes for him to keep here when he sleeps over?” You asked, quickly making your way back to Peter, knowing now why he was so drunk.

“Of course, Mrs. Stark.” JARVIS said, his voice following you as you moved through the hallways.

“Mom! You’re back!” Peter said, still slurring his words but in his boxers sitting right where you left him.

You walked over to him and passed him the clothes. “I’m back, bud. And I’m so proud of you for doing what I asked. I know that must’ve been tricky in this state.”

“I couldn’t figure out the buttons on my shirt.” He admitted, throwing Tony’s Led Zeppelin shirt over his head. 

“Hey, that’s okay. It happens when you’re drunk.” You passed him a glass of water once he had the sweatpants on too. “Can you drink this for me?”

He took the glass from you and sipped at it slowly. “Sure I can.” He smiled. “This tastes better than what Mr. Barton and Mr. Thor were giving me.”

“This is better for you.” You told him, rubbing his back.

“Mom, I don’t feel so good.”

“What’s wrong?” You asked, still softly rubbing.

Peter bolted towards the bathroom. “I think I’m gonna puke!” He said, leaning over the toilet.

“J, call Tony please.” You said, kneeling beside him and rubbing his back.

Tony burst into the room, “What’s wrong?!”

“Pete feels very nauseous right now.” You explained calmly and softly, in an attempt to calm your husband.

It worked. “Oh, okay.” You stood as Tony knelt with Peter, rubbing his back and sitting quietly with him. “I know you don’t do so well with puke, sweetheart.”

“Thank you, Tone.” You told him, kissing his forehead and refilling Peter’s glass. “Get him to drink some more water, maybe it’ll flush it out of his system a little.” 

“Can you tilt your head this way for me, bud?” 

Peter lifted his head and turned it towards Tony. “Sure can, Dad.”

“Drink a little of this for me? It should help you feel better.” Tony said, heart warming at being called Dad.

“Yeah. Okay. Can you help?” Peter tilted his head back a little and Tony slowly poured some water into Peter’s mouth.

“Swallow.” He said.

While the two of them were doing that, you were grabbing a bottle of Tylenol to leave on Peter’s bedside as well as a pair of sunglasses, knowing how bright the tower feels when you’re hungover.

After Tony got Peter to brush his teeth, and drink some more water, you refilled his glass and you both tucked him into bed, kissing his forehead. “Goodnight, kiddo.” Tony said, turning off the lights.

“Goodnight, Mom. Goodnight Dad.” Peter said, snuggling deeper into the covers.

“Goodnight, bud.” You told him, shutting the door softly behind both of you.

As you and Tony walked back upstairs, he had a question for you. “So, what’s my present from you, sweetcheeks?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I very much would.” He said, pinning you lightly to the wall.

“Back to the penthouse bedroom, Tone.” You panted out softly, his cologne overwhelming your senses after not being able to be near him much today. “Please, c’mon, private gift, Tone.”

After you said that, Tony dragged you upstairs, barely allowing you to take off your jewelry before he was sucking hickies on your neck. “Please tell me the gift is you, sweetheart.” He growled against your pulse point.

“Yeah, Tone, it’s me! The gift is me, but you don’t you dare rip this fucking dress.” You cried, tangling your fingers in his hair. Tony unzipped the back of your dress, telling JARVIS to turn on the “Do Not Disturb” protocols until at least 8AM. You hadn’t had nearly as much to drink as everyone else, so you were going to make everybody hangover breakfast and coffee.

Pulling the dress off of you, Tony threw you on the bed, and you bounced slightly towards the headboard. You turned and crawled up towards it, giving him a full view of your ass, and what was written on the lingerie. “Oh, so this is my present.” Tony said, smirking as he captured your lips in a kiss. “I get to have my name across your ass while I’m fucking you. Is that what you want, sweetheart?”

“Yes!” You yelled as he left hickies down your throat and tits. He slipped two fingers in you while marking up your torso, knowing that if you couldn’t take them yet, he’d have lots of fun opening you up to take his cock. “Oh God, Tony, please don’t stop.”

“I would never, sweetheart.” He said, sucking a mark right below your belly button. As Tony kept fingering you, he swirled his tongue quickly around your clit, working you up to the edge even quicker. Tony loved when you came before he was even inside of you.

“Oh, Tony, please- I- fuck, close, Tone!” Your brain was turning to goo, and from previous experiences, you knew Tony was going to fingerfuck you straight through your first orgasm of the night.

You were right. “Cum for me, my sweet Y/N.” He whispered softly in your ear, rubbing your clit quickly with his thumb while he was still fingering you. “Princess, just let go.”

And that was what did it. All the tension that had been building up released all at once, leading you to one of the best orgasms of your life. And Tony fingerfucked you through it, stimulating you even more and working you up to your next orgasm. When he retracted his fingers, though, you let out a small whimper, which caused Tony to chuckle and you to blink your eyes open, not knowing when you had shut them. You watched as Tony stuck his fingers covered in your cum in his mouth and licked them off.

“You taste so good for me, sweetheart. I could eat you out all goddamn day. But I won’t. You know why?” You shook your head. “I wanna fuck this pretty pussy of yours that you have all dressed up for me for my birthday. How lucky am I to have such a loving wife that knows I have everything I want?” He tapped your hips in a way that you knew meant ‘roll over’ and did so.

“What are you gonna do to me, Tone?” You asked softly. You weren’t nervous or anything, you just really liked hearing all the shit that was gonna come out of his mouth. You liked hearing how he was gonna fuck you, and he knew it. As always, he turned the dial to 11.

Pulling you up onto your knees, Tony twisted your head so you weren’t face down in the pillows. “I’m gonna hold you up like this, even though I know your legs are jelly from that orgasm, and I’m gonna fuck your pretty little pussy while staring at my name on your ass. Because you’re fucking mine, right, sweetheart?” He asked, slowly thrusting into you and burying himself to the hilt.

“Oh, God, yes! I’m all yours Tony! Just don’t stop!”

“That’s right. Nobody else’s name is on that ass of yours. Nobody else sees their name on that ass of yours. Mine.” Tony said, lightly biting the back of your shoulder.

You rested your forehead on your hands. “Don’t wan’ nobody else! Just you! Fuckin’ love you, Tony! Never loved anybody like I love you!” You said, having found enough strength to thrust your hips backwards in time with his thrusts.

“Oh, God, Y/N, sweetheart. Fuck, yes. I’m gonna cum. Can I cum inside of you, sweetheart? Don’t wanna wreck this new set of yours already.”

“Don’t wreck it! Just cum in me, Tone!” You screamed in pleasure as you felt him thrust as deep into you as he could, stopping and pulsating. The feeling of him cumming inside of you triggered your second orgasm. 

What you guessed was a few minutes later, but was actually probably just seconds, you heard Tony say, “Make a sound or move something if you can hear me, sweetheart.” You knew you had screamed your voice out, so you did your best to tap the index finger on your dominant hand. “Okay, I’m gonna pull out now, is that okay?” He asked. You tried to nod in response, but had no idea if you had actually succeeded until you felt Tony pull out. “Oh fuck,” he groaned. “God, it’s just spilling out of you. That’s so fucking hot, sweetheart. I wish you could see this.”

“Take a picture.” You croaked.

“Okay, sweetcheeks.” Tony said softly. “But after, we’re getting you into a bath and out of this lovely fucking set of lingerie. Next time I’m cumming all over your tits.” He told you, taking a picture and picking you up. JARVIS had starting running a bath at the perfect temperature, as he always did after you two had sex, and Tony carefully placed you on the toilet so you could pee, he was not letting you get a UTI.

“Happy birthday, Tone.” You whispered, snuggling back against his chest once the two of you were situated in the bath with some epsom salts.

He kissed the top of your head softly, “Thank you for making it the best birthday, sweetheart. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you responded, drifting off in the tub, not for the first time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, you woke up wrapped in Tony’s arms. This was very unusual since Tony was always up in the lab hours before you woke up. You actually weren’t sure if you had woken up next to Tony since your honeymoon. You rolled over and nuzzled further into his chest, wanting to enjoy this for as long as you could.

“Honey? Are you awake?” Tony’s morning voice resonated against the ear you had pressed against his chest.

“If I say yes, does that mean you’re gonna get up?” You mumbled, really just wanting to snuggle with your husband in bed.

He wrapped his arms tighter around you, “Not if you don’t want to. I like cuddling.”

Of course, since the two of you could never have a moment’s peace, JARVIS started speaking. “Mrs. Stark, you said you were going to make “hangover breakfast” for the Avengers. And they’re all in their rooms, with the blackout curtains shut, whimpering about the amount of light.”

“One morning in bed with my husband, is that too much to ask?” You asked, rolling away from Tony and sitting up.

“Apparently.” Tony said, rolling out of bed to grab clothes for you both.

“J, will you start the coffee machine?” You got up and brushed your teeth before getting dressed in the clothes Tony picked out for you and doing the rest of your morning routine. “Tony?”

He poked his head into the bathroom. “Yeah, hon?”

“Can we have tomorrow morning in bed to cuddle?” You asked, pouting slightly.

“Anything you want, sweetheart.” He kissed your cheek and wrapped his arm around your waist as you walked into the penthouse kitchen together. 

You grabbed out everybody’s individualized mugs that Tony had gotten for Christmas last year and set them all out at the table while Tony grabbed the cream and sugar so you could personalize everybody’s coffee for them. Steve took his black, it’s the way he had always drank it, and he wasn’t changing that. Bucky took his with so much cream that you were pretty sure it was actually coffee flavoured cream in the mug. Natasha’s mug had a lid so that nobody could actually see the colour of her coffee, especially since everybody assumed she took it black, but she had the homemade equivalent of a latte in that mug. Clint’s also had a lid because everybody assumed he took his like a latte, but he really drinks it black. He grew up in the circus and has 3 kids. That shit doesn’t need sugar or cream, he’s drinking it to stay alive. Tony and Bruce both drank so much coffee that theirs was essentially black by the end of the day due to refills, but they both start with a decent amount of cream and sugar so that they feel like it lasts them the whole day. Thor has a sweet tooth, that should explain everything about his coffee, sugar but no cream. Loki also has a lid, for while everyone would assume he likes black coffee, there’s a decent amount of cream in there. Wanda and Pietro both take their coffee with a bit of cream and a bit of sugar, no overboard in either direction. Sam didn’t really care, as to him, coffee is coffee, it doesn’t matter what you do to it as long as it still tastes like coffee. And Peter.. you had never seen Peter use his mug for anything but hot chocolate.

“Tone?” You asked, still fixing up Sam’s mug of coffee. “How does Peter take his coffee?”

“Oh, with- J, how does Peter take his coffee?”

“Two cream, one sugar, sir.”

You chuckled, fixing up Peter’s mug in the way JARVIS said he liked. “How did we not know that?”

“I’ve never seen him drink coffee before.” Tony said, wrapping his arms around you while you started frying up some bacon and sausage.

“Me neither. I’ve never seen him use the mug for anything other than those gourmet hot chocolates that he makes here because we can afford your fancy ass caramel.”

Tony hummed in agreement and started swaying while you were still cooking, kissing the back of your head. “Can I have a real kiss, N/N? I haven’t had one all day!” He exclaimed.

“Oh, honey. Did I forget about you this morning?” You asked, teasingly. “Are you gonna die if you don’t get a sufficient number of kisses before breakfast?”

“Yes!” He whined, teasingly. “I’m just wasting away here, can’t you see?”

You chuckled, knowing what would happen if you gave in and gave Tony a real kiss. “You know why I can’t, Tone.”

“No, N/N, you have to either kiss or tell.” He said, kissing just under your ear.

“If I give you a kiss now, you’ll turn it into a full blown make-out session and I’ll burn breakfast.” You deadpanned while flipping bacon. 

“No I won’t! You have no proof!” He said, dramatically.

You reached over and grabbed some eggs out of the fridge, some more greasy protein wouldn’t hurt a hangover. “Tony, that’s what happened last week.”

“I’m a changed man!” Tony exclaimed, pouting and sitting on the counter next to you.

“I hope you haven’t changed too much from the man who fucked my brain out last night, because I would very much like that to happen again.”

“No fucking in the kitchen, Stevie doesn’t like that language.” Bucky said, sitting in front of where you had placed his mug.

“One time!” Steve exclaimed. “And you weren’t even around when I said it, Buck!”

Bucky laughed, sipping at his coffee before raising it towards you in a silent cheers. “News travels fast, Stevie. Now sit down, drink your coffee, and shut up.”

“Alright, gentlemen, calm down. How do you like your eggs? And what do you like in them?”

As everyone trickled in, sat in front of their coffees, and gave you their breakfast orders, they slowly nursed their headaches while you and Tony shared more banter. Peter was the last one to stumble in, wearing the sunglasses you left for him, though his eyes were shut.

“Here, bud.” You said, sliding the coffee across the counter towards him. “How ya feelin’?”

“Like that time Vulture dropped part of a building on me.” He said softly, sipping the coffee you had made him before adding more cream to it. “Thanks for the coffee, Mom.”

You smiled, turning back to the stove. “No problem, kiddo. How do you like your eggs, and what do you like in them?” Receiving the last breakfast order, you started plating up some bacon and sausage, as well as the first few eggs you cooked. “J, add eggs, bacon, sausage, coffee, cream, and sugar to the grocery list, please.” You said, sliding plates to Bucky and Steve. 

“Of course, Mrs. Stark.” JARVIS said, showing the items on a list on the fridge.

“Can I have my kiss now, sweetheart?” Tony asked, pouting on the counter where you left him. 

“Oh, Tone. One kiss?” You asked.

“One kiss, I promise.”

“And I’m not going to burn breakfast?”

“One kiss, I promise.” He repeated.

You shook your head, chuckling again and sliding more plates down the island. “No kisses until there’s nothing left to burn, Tony.” You handed him a plate. “Sit and eat.”

Tony sighed as you kept passing out breakfast to everybody, not sitting yourself until Peter had his plate. “Thank you for the best birthday ever, sweetheart.” He said, giving you his puppy dog eyes.

“You’re welcome, Tone.” You told him, kissing his cheek.

“All that and I don’t even get a real kiss?” Tony complained, stabbing a sausage with a fork. 

You grabbed his cheeks and tilted them in your direction, so he was facing you, and pulled him in for a kiss. “Every birthday will be better than the last. But if you’re real good today, that wasn’t the only present I got you.”

Tony’s eyes widened with the implication. “There’s more?!”

You smirked, kissing him again. “Only if you’re good, Tone. There’s only more if you’re good.”

“Who else did you get?”

“Fuck around and find out.” You said, finally eating your own food and causing Natasha and Wanda to laugh with the implication. 

I am so sorry that it took so long for me to write this, y’all! But it’s finally done, I hope y’all enjoyed that little FRIENDS reference in there, and yeah, I really just hope you liked it.

#tony stark x reader #reader insert #fem!reader #tony stark #iron dad and spider son #peter parker #tipsy peter parker #reader is like a mom to peter #steve rogers #natasha romanoff #bucky barnes #bruce banner #thor odinson #loki laufeyson #pietro maximoff #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #clint barton #clint is married in this #i kinda picture a background stucky #and brucetasha #but it's never explicitly mentioned #and i'm so sorry #tags don't really have autocorrect #and i can't spell explicitly #so i have to hope that's right

[rinadragomir]

Julie Plec and convenient diversity 🙃

Okay so when I found out they chose a British guy to play Dimitri I was a bit upset but in a super chill way cause 1)he looks fantastic 2) British accent kinda reminds me of Russian so I thought they not gonna have any problems with working on it.

Then my Tumblr friend made a post and I found out they erased that part of him. TV show Dimitri is not Russian anymore. I was kinda confused cause 1)then why would he have a Russian name👀 2)what about the fact that Rose spends the whole book in Russia, what about Roza, what about half of their jokes😟

BUT TODAY 🤡I FOUND OUT 🤡WHAT THAT PIECE OF HUMAN 🤡SAID ABOUT THAT CHANGE 🤡

Okay it's not a literal quote but it's almost it:

Dimitri is not Russian anymore, you'll be fine with it when you learn more about that amazing man playing his role.......It was important for us to convey the spirit of modernity, to show today's world with all the diversity of its cultural idiosyncrasies. Accent, origin and race do not matter because we are all part of the same community.

That clown living her clown life 🎪

Okay let's see

So she put 1) diversity is important, we all different and it's cool to show it AND 2)why diversity if we're the same person? 🥺 IN ONE FUCKING SENTENCE?!?!????!

Julie Plec literally said: OF COURSE diversity is important, we have Black Americans! Latins, Chinese guys...or not Chinese, I mean asian people = only Chinese right? And of course ...*whispers* I can't remember more..... um.....what? Turks? what is it? Turkey? Like ...Turkey on Thanksgiving day?🥺Yeah? Russian? Russia... sounds familiar where is it👀ugh nevermind some white dudes, they sound like British anyway

I forgot to mention I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST THE CAST they're babies and they do the best they can, their acting is the reason I watched that trailer✋they just do their job and do it perfect

I have BIG ISSUES with creators of this show

⚠️Before some of you start with your American "um bitch u know dat black people live in Turkey and British people live in Russia and Latin people live in Romania" I'll say: they definitely MIGHT live there, tho I've never seen anything like this in any of these countries (I live in one of them and I've been in two others

But after Dimitri being a British announcement, there's no way Rose is Turkish. No fucking way. No one actually cares about the diversity. Diversity is a thing ONLY when it comes to people who live in America.

When people from Turkey, Russia, Romania even slightly open their mouth EVERYONE SHUTS THEM UP with "um....white dudes talking again 😴we have Black and Asian people, others don't actually exist👁️👄👁️)

If you think that "WOW we have a cool beautiful black girl as a lead, finally some good fucking food, finally a WELL WRITTEN WOMAN OF COLOR"

no think again😍you really believe that a woman who thought "ugh....idk all of these Turkish and Russian....ugh language, traditions are so hard🥺" will MAKE AN EFFORT?! To write a proper black lead girl? Seriously? I have some news

If you look at the cast and think "we have a proper diverse cast! That's so great! Different cultures were so important in the books, I'm sure tv show creators will explore this topic even deeper" you're poor innocent silly soul, that's who you are.

👉🏻IT'S NOT ABOUT AN "AdApTaTiOn" IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THESE BOOKS AND THEY DON'T WANT TO, BUT THEIR LITTLE DAMAGE BRAINS CAN'T COME UP WITH THEIR OWN NEW UNIQUE STORY (and even when they can, it's so fucking bad, no one wants to watch it), SO THEY TAKE A POPULAR TITLE AND MAKE THEIR OWN SHIT PRETENDING IT'S ALL THE SAME CAUSE THEY DIDN'T CHANGE CHARACTERS NAMES. 👈🏻

And a little reminder how people look outside of England and the USA for my beloved Julie Plec and people saying "real diversity is here, who needs these white guys on the screen" (Turkish, Romanian, Russian)

#va #vampire academy #fuck julie plec #julie plecphobia #yesyes #anti julie plec #rose hathaway #dimitri belikov #lissa dragomir #christian ozera

[timemachinereviews]

I Watched The Big Lebowski — Am I Part of the Cult?

HELL YES. (Spoilers ahead.)

I’m not entirely sure what I just watched. 

But it was fucking amazing.

The Big Lebowski. Where do I even begin? Well, why not with the fact that I finally watched the damn thing? You don’t need me to tell you how beloved this film is, how it’s one of the biggest cult classics out there. I was alive the year it came out, I had no excuse. Sure, I was in diapers, but that’s still no excuse. I’m kicking myself in the shins right now for not having watched it sooner.

Regardless, I watched it, and the minute I finished it, I knew this was going to be one of those movies for me. You know, the ones you constantly quote, the ones you have dozens upon dozens of conversations about with several different people, the ones you force every movie fan in your life to watch.

I’m not much of a Coen Brothers fan. Before The Big Lebowski, I had only seen one of their other films: True Grit. That was such a long time ago, though, and I don’t remember much — really, the thing I remember most about it is that it introduced most of us to Hailee Steinfeld. However, The Big Lebowski has got me seriously interested in watching more Coen Brothers films, particularly because of how fantastically funny the screenplay is.

Man, this movie is quotable. So, so quotable. I tried to keep note of all my favorite quotes while watching the film but after a certain point, there were just so many, I decided a rewatch would have to be necessary. I’m sure I missed out on a ton, but here are some of my favorite quotes from my first watch:

“I’m talking about the Dude here.”

“It’s down there somewhere. Let me take another look.”

“Yeah? Well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man.”

“Her life is in your hands, Dude.”

“Careful, man! There’s a beverage here!”

“The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountain!”

“I dig your style too, man. Got a whole cowboy thing going.”

If you think these quotes are a lot, they’re not even half of all the great quotes present in this movie. According to IMDb, very few lines were improvised and virtually every line, every "man" and "dude," was scripted. That’s insane to me and a testament to just how talented the Coens are at screenplays — but it’s mostly insane to me because the acting in the film felt so natural, I was convinced some of these lines had to be improvised.

Jeff Bridges, especially, owns the role of The Dude. No other actor could’ve played him, which is pretty wild because according to Joel Coen, he and his brother did write for John Goodman and Steve Buscemi, but didn’t know who was going to play the lead role. Mel Gibson was even considered and thank God that didn’t happen, because The Dude was pretty much the role Jeff Bridges was born to play. The way he brings this character to life is absolutely top-notch.

The rest of the cast is a delight too — nearly all of them shine in their roles, delivering their lines with terrific comedic timing and a perfect understanding of their respective characters, but the two particular standouts to me were Philip Seymour Hoffman as Brandt and Julianne Moore as Maude Lebowski. The two aren’t on-screen a lot, but when they are, they’re irresistible — it’s near impossible to not pay attention when they’re talking.

Of course, given the spoiler warning above, you’ve probably already seen this movie, or you just don’t care much about spoilers. Let’s talk about this film’s ending then, where apart from the death of a friend, nothing in The Dude’s life really changes. Everything just kind of resolves itself and The Dude goes on living nearly the exact life he had at the beginning of the movie, presumably never interacting with the majority of the characters he met in this film ever again.

Does this make the whole thing pointless? I can see why one would think that. After all, if the protagonist doesn’t seem to have undergone any significant changes throughout the story, why bother telling the story at all? If, by the end, he’s almost the exact same person he was at the beginning, why was this specific period in his life the one the Coen brothers thought was worth making a movie about?

The way I see it, The Big Lebowski’s whole point is that it’s pointless. There have been plenty of times in my life when something big happens, only for everything to go back to the way it was right after. That’s just how life works sometimes — does that mean these stories aren’t worth telling or remembering?

Of course not. Maybe this film is just a blip in The Dude’s life, an interesting story he tells at parties but one that never really made a big impact in his timeline. (Again, apart from Donny’s death.) Still, he has fun telling this story, doesn’t he? Or at least the Coen brothers do. And we have fun listening to it. Maybe that’s just what life is sometimes — a series of events that don’t seem to add up to any discernible purpose, but we have fun living through them anyway.

But you know, that's just, like, my opinion, man.

P.S. Y’all know that stoner comedy cult classic called Dude, Where’s My Car? Apparently, that title is a reference to The Big Lebowski. I knew it the minute John Goodman said, “Dude, where’s your car?”

#The Big Lebowski #Big Lebowski #Coen Brothers #Film #Dude Where's My Car

[sophieswundergarten]

@nobody33333333 I got all of this one to fit on Tumblr!!

Sophie's... Commentary? on Chapter 18 of S.O.S. (You know the drill, go read it) Now with less property damage because I was too excited to think of good threats!!

MADGE MOMENT!!! Fantastic start. I love he seriously she’s taking everything

AND SHE MISSES SQ. I WISH HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN A LETTER FROM MADGE :( 

Oh boy, Constance is set out for Revenge. Someone might want to stop her!!

But, seriously, the way you write her thought patterns and how she comes to such conclusions is amazing. It’s very in-character, and though she is gifted and has experience in this, she’s still a child, and she doesn’t have the full perspective the adults do

I love how casually the host moves on from betrayal and war crimes to “This dude is going to seize control of an abstract emotion. Perfectly reasonable and not at all something to be suspicious of” /s asjdfjdsjdjd

But he still feels guilty about Dr. Garrison :( 

Ahh. And it’s not just that Curtain has hurt her family. It’s that she can relate to him, and she’s scared about what that means in Mr. Benedict. She probably feels like if can take Curtain down personally, then she’ll have also conquered that part of her that she feels is “bad”

Sometimes I forget that all the other adults disappeared and left Rhonda in charge of Constance for months(?). I’m really impressed with her

And she’s still in the mindset of grownups underestimating her!! I mean, of course all of the kids are really worried about the Curtain Problem, but the treasure hunt game was supposed to be fun and challenging! They know who these kids are, they wouldn’t just throw together some asinine, patronizing time waster for them

“the second worst thing that had happened to Number Two that year” 

Adjkdfjkd I simply adore how you write her

I really enjoy how Nicholas thinks he can just… wander off and Number Two isn’t going to stop him. How many times has he pulled this stunt? Probably too many to count, and at least once on a train adsjdj

And the poor man. He’s not jealous necessarily, he wants to continue his fight for the truth but he also is desperate to get his brother back. That’s a lot of conflict for him to hold inside all of the time

And on top of that there’s still the “He’s my brother and I need to smack him over the back of the head because he’s being a nuisance and mean”. It would be really hard to keep bouncing between viewing “The Sender” as this unpredictable, out of control supervillain, and knowing “Nathaniel” as his ridiculous and overdramatic brother

And some more hints at Number Two’s siblings!!

WHOO!! You’re so good at mirroring the visuals from the Show in words, and without giving anything away :D 

Ahhhh Kate not knowing how to be parented versus Milligan not knowing how to parents hurts me so much

ASJDKDJKF STICKY IS OVER HERE HAVING TO DEAL WITH HAVING TOO MANY FRIENDS??? THIS KID. THIS CHILD. He really got thrown into the mix with no preparation, didn’t he?

But, as always, I love how you explain and detail his experience at Boatwright. I wish we could have seen it more, and your take on the situation delights me

And Reynie’s having the opposite problem. Which is ironic, because he’s the most personable out of the kids, so while they may not be deep friendships, he’d probably be able to get by. However, he’s scared (Probably at least in part to the kids at the orphanage), and he really misses his first and only true friends

BUT MISS PERUMAL WAITS WITH HIM!!! THREE CHEERS FOR HER BEING SUCH A GOOD MOM

MARLON /loathing

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO

Gahhh I’m on the edge of my seat because you write SQ’s hesitance and Curtain’s (un)subtle forcefulness so well!! It’s a perfect storm :( 

OH AND YOU TIED IN THE PAINTING SCENE. GENIUS.

SQ. CHILD. YOU’RE A LOT SMARTER THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR. YOUR DAD JUST IS GASLIGHTING YOU. PLEASE TRUST YOURSELF

ALSO. EVERY TIME CURTAIN BLAMES STUFF ON GARRISON I AM REMOVING A FAN BLADE FROM YOUR HOUSE, BODS. AND IT WON’T ALWAYS BE FROM THE SAME FAN. BE PREPARED.

Come on, SQ!! You’re almost there!!! I’m really scared about what will happen if he keeps pushing his dad, but he’s getting closer to the truth!

Begrudgingly, I will admit that “an outreach program designed to provide employment to individuals suffering from neurological conditions that resulted in memory loss and cognitive impairment” is a pretty good answer to smooth over the topic of the Helpers. Great writing!!! Horrible decisions by the character

HEY, CURTAIN. BUDDY. IF YOU ARE GENUINELY SHOCKED BY YOUR CHILD HAVING AN ORIGINAL OPINION.YOU’RE PROBABLY DOING SOMETHING WRONG

IT’S NOT BETRAYAL, YOU IDIOT. IT’S YOUR KID BEING HIS OWN AWESOME UNIQUE SELF THAT YOU’VE BEEN TOO WRAPPED UP IN PARANOIA TO SEE

OH BOY HERE WE GO

(And the tie-in with his art is so powerful and awesome!!! It’s just a fantastic literary device)

SQ. I KNOW THINGS ARE BAD BUT YOU SHOULDN’T BE READY TO GIVE UP ON WHO YOU ARE LIKE THIS

THE “it’s a binary choice” LINE AAHHHHHHHHHH

Curtain battling his delusions about wanting to believe this is genuinely a good idea and ignoring the consequences are so well written. I’m losing my mind

AND THE MEMORIES ABOUT SQ’S MOM!!!! AND SQ GROWING UP!! AND BEING LIKE HIS PARENTS THAT CURTAIN MISSED SO MUCH BUT HE STILL LOVES HIS SON AS HIS OWN PERSON

MARLON /disgusted

Oooh, he yelled at him with his full name. This is not going well

WHY ARE YOU ASKING MARLON FOR ADVICE AT ALL????? LET ALONE PARENTING ADVICE

ALKJSFKJHDSGKJHDFS STOP SURROUNDING YOURSELF WITH MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY IMPAIRED YES-MEN AND MAYBE IT’LL DO SOMETHING FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AND SANITY, MY GUY

Milligan just pulling random, very useful skills out of his backpocket is amazing

And you illustrate the difference between this and their last mission so well!! They had no other choice last time, but now it is completely possible and genuinely desirable for the kids to stay as far away from danger as possible

However. The kids don’t exactly see it that way.

Constance taking advantage of her tiny child appearance and throwing people off is very funny. I love how you write Milligan and Rhonda’s reactions

(Also, something something something, both Milligan and Kate making plans because they know the required distance for someone to be out of earshot…)

FAKE TAXI

“What sort of person would pay money to install a fake window crank?” YOU ONLY KNOW ONE PERSON WHO WOULD GO TO SUCH LENGTHS NICHOLAS, COME ON

Oh, Number Two imitating her mother when she starts screaming?? Ah goodness. Once again, lovely beautiful writing detail, feeling concerned about the in-story consequences for the characters

Mr. Nicholas Benedict. PLEASE HAVE A SINGULAR OUNCE OF SELF PRESERVATION FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE

I feel so bad for Milligan. He can’t really be fully honest with Kate, because she’s a young child and he’s an adult, so they have different priorities and viewpoints that are sometimes incompatible. BUT HE JUST WANTS TO HELP. HE’S TRYING HIS BEST. AND KATE DOESN’T WANT TO TRUST HIM YET BECAUSE SHE’S SCARED

ASkjdfkjdfskjdfskjd

BODS

The music notes confused me SO MUCH at first, and then I just started full-on cackling. You’re amazing

OH NO IT’S THE WATER POLO PLAYERS

ASJFJDSJ

OKAY

IT’S NOT THAT RHONDA AND MILLIGAN ARE BAD WITH KIDS

BUT THEY’VE BEEN DUMPED WITH SOME HALF GROWN ONES. SO IT’S REALLY FUNNY WHEN THEY ARE CAUGHT OFF-GUARD LIKE THIS. BECAUSE AS ANYONE WHO HAS RAISED KIDS TO THAT AGE FROM A BABY KNOWS. TEN SECONDS OF SUSPICIOUS SILENCE SHOULD BE SETTING OFF ALARM BELLS. 

IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT THEY WERE LEFT WITH SOME OF THE MOST CRAFTY AND GIFTED KIDS EVER AND NO INSTRUCTION MANUAL

Not to mention THE WHOLE OTHER CRISIS GOING ON AT THE TIME

I feel so bad for these two. At least Mr. B, Dipika, even Number Two had some experience being around kids before and watching them grow up. I supposed Milligan did too, but he seems to keep forgetting that Kate is his child and will also do crazy dangerous stunts with no supervision.

Alright, sorry for ranting, but I just love how well you can define and develop all of the different relationships going on. Because there are a lot of them. And you are doing impeccably with following through on natural character growth and allowing them to “learn lessons” before they master a new concept, as it were. You are a very detailed author

The complete and total irony of Curtain “believing” that Marlon’s reassurance means anything, and then two seconds later considering how he doesn’t have to be vulnerable anymore because everyone around him has been brainwashed

Ajjdsjdf Marlon is broken out of the Happiness (However temporarily) because he’s a judgemental jerk. Outstanding

HE KEEPS CALLING HER “associate”. I FORGOT HOW MUCH I DESPISE HIM FOR THAT

(But, once again, you’ve managed to sneak a tiny spec of sympathy in because we know why he’s doing it and why he’s angry about Nicholas considering her family. Darn you, Bods /j /lh /just playing you’re really good at writing this stuff)

HE’S TRYING SO HARD TO MESS WITH HIS BROTHER. TO TICK OFF HIS FRIENDS.

OKAY OKAY OKAY. BUT THE ISSUE HERE IS THAT THEIR PERSPECTIVES HAVE FLIPPED. IN S1 NICHOLAS WAS DESPERATELY HOPING THAT NATHANIEL WAS A PAWN, THAT HE’D REGRET HIS ACTIONS, THAT HE’D STOP. AND CURTAIN WAS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DETERMINED THAT NICHOLAS WAS OUT TO DESTROY HIM

BUT NOW. NICHOLAS HAS FINALLY ACCEPTED THAT HIS BROTHER WAS/IS WILLING TO HURT A LOT OF PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY ONES NICHOLAS LOVES, TO GET WHAT HE WANTS. BUT CURTAIN HAS TURNED IT INTO A GAME. SOMEHOW, THE STAKES ARE LOWER FOR HIM NOW, AND HE’S JUST TRYING TO MESS WITH HIS BROTHER

DO YOU SEE HOW THIS IS AN EMOTIONALLY CONFLICTING ISSUE????

One thing I loved about S2 is Miss Perumal and Milligan going through really similar concerns about their kids, but also Kate and Reynie present what they're dealing with in a very different way externally. I like seeing them help each other learn to parent

THE PARALLELS, BODS. THE PARALLELS

I also did really like that all three of them acknowledged that this is who they encouraged the kids to be. As adults, they viewed it as a one-time necessity in the middle of a huge emergency situation of imminent danger. But the kids took it to heart because they’re those kind of kids and that adventurous, independent, self-sacrificial attitude has been incorporated into who they are. And that bit of the Show specifically fits really well with your style and message of writing, so I was excited to see it in your words

“control is the key” NO IT’S NOT. GO TO THERAPY!!

Oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no

I REALLY WANT SQ TO BE SAFE AND AWAY FROM HIS DAD’S LUNACY BUT ALSO THIS IS REALLY SCARY

AS I’VE SAID, BODS, WE’RE OUT OF CANON HERE. YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT /fear /excited /fear

Also, this little italicized voice in his head is very interesting…

(I really like how you describe SQ’s thoughts in particular. It is a very neat example of your writing skills)

The fake violets!!! And the Ivanhoe!!! Also the photos got me really excited

SECRET BOOKSHELF HIDING PLACE YEAH!!!!!!

(How dare you legitimize the stupid fake bookshelf /j /affectionate)

AND YOU USED THE “CONTROL” KEY

I WAS REALLY HOPING IT MIGHT POP UP AND YOU DID NOT DISAPPOINT

AMAZING

“The S.O.S. For Ledroptha.”

SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The stuffed bird!! I love that bird :D 

Ooh, and you used the “Bon Voyage” sign off again!!!

Also

KID. YOU BARELY KNOW HOW MONEY WORKS. I DON’T THINK YOU’RE AS PREPARED FOR THIS AS YOU THINK YOU ARE. YOUR DAD’S BEEN PROTECTING YOU FROM A LOT. PLEASE DON’T GET SCAMMED OR KIDNAPPED OR END UP DEAD IN A DITCH AS SOON AS YOU STEP FOOT IN THE “REAL WORLD”

Ooooooh I’m terrified. He made it!!! He did it!! He actually left the compound!!! But who knows what’ll happen next…

And I really like how the chapter title initially seems like it's just reffering to the Society (Which is expected), but it's actually including SQ!!!! (Which was not expected)

OH MAN. What a wild ride. This was incredible from start to finish, as usual, and I am Just So Full Of Screaming Right Now. I am really excited to see where you take all of the new developments in Season 2, even though I'm sure there are going to be a ton of twists. Ajdsfkjsdfkhjdsfkjhdsfkj I just don't gots the words to express how amazing this is. Bods, you are a wonderful author. Your floorboards that Katie just reinstalled are mine now. I am really happy that I got to read this so soon after it was published!!! I was unfortunately quite busy the day you updated, so I made a note to make time for it as soon as I could :)

Thank you once again for being amazing and sharing your skills with us, and good luck with classes and being busy and everything!! Please remember you are under no obligation to write or create if you don't want to. You're a human, you've got your own life. Take care of yourself

AND DRINK SOME WATER

#I am so lucky to have to many talented friends #I love getting to read y'all's work #And every single time I am just so happy #I got up early and then stayed up so I could read this so I think I'm going to go take a nap now #Love you guys #s.o.s. #Also I'll try to come up with some better threats next time #Maybe something with the microwave. Hmmmm

[ao3commentoftheday]

I saw this story a while back, left a guest kudos, and went on my way. Then, I watched the Punisher for the 3rd time and desperately tried to remember that one fantastic story I read with Frank and the suit. I couldn't remember the title, the author, or anything about the story, but it had something to do with a suit. Cut to me sifting through two years' worth of fanfiction to find this very specific fic and then DEVOURING it all in one sitting, loving every single word of it. Seriously, dude, I was so immersed that I forgot that this isn't canon, and as far as I'm concerned, you wrote everything so impossibly beautiful that you should have been a writer on the show. The mannerisms, the dialogue, quite literally EVERYTHING was perfect. While I'm mentally planning the possibility of a Punisher fanfic, your story is the vibe I want, the vibe I crave. This wasn't a quick one-and-done dopamine rush of a fic; this was long-lasting serotonin high that I floated on for hours. I mean this compliment from the depths of my heart, and as a fellow writer, you have a fantastic gift for telling stories, and I can't wait to read more.

>> I decided to share this comment because it's one of the most rewarding comments I have ever received. Nice Suit represents a huge turning point in my writing and getting this kind of reaction to it means everything to me. I can't even begin to thank the commenter for their wonderfully kind words. <<

#ao3commentoftheday #submission

[crappymixtape]

psa • hi, you're lovely

okay, circle of trust time.

as a writer on this platform – in fucking FANTASTIC company with other writers i might add – i just wanna say, i'm here for you! we're a community, right? it's so easy to get caught up in stats and likes and reblogs and cranking shit out, but don't forget why you're here. here's why i'm here ( you do it too if you reblog this!! ):

i love to write

i love sharing my love of fandoms and characters with others

i love being able to grow a beloved character into something more and give them the attention and detail they so deserve

i love when someone shares the same thoughts and hc's as me

i love nerding out about the details

i love putting music / playlists together to go with my writing

and...i love me some smut. i'm sorry ( i'm not )

but seriously, so many other reasons too and i just think we should all be kinder to ourselves. because at the end of the day? this lil silly space is so special. getting to share our writing and have people read it without having to publish a book ( and if you do SHARE IT! i wanna buy itttt ). and what a cool time to be able to make friends from all over the world all because of a couple of dudes named steve and eddie.

okay. love you, love yourself, love your writing and your craft, and this is your note to be kind to yourself today. cos you're talented and worth it! SMOOOOOCH! ♥️

tagging some bbs, don't feel pressured to re-post! i just want you to know this applies to youuuu xoxo, @upsidedownwithsteve • @familyvideostevie • @loveshotzz • @forevermoreharrington • @roanniom • @plainemmanem • @stvharrngton • @theemporium • @honeymunson • @livingintheupsidedown • @luveline • @1986harrington • @lucasnclair • @stevebabey • @stevestummy • @sattlersquarry • @curiositydooropened • @willowherbal • @annab-nana@acourtofsnakes • @starryeyedstories • @fiveraccoonsinatrenchcoat • @katsu28 • @lovebugism  • @fleurfairie

#repost this and tag your moots #or people you love #or your fav writer #or whoever comes to mind! #cos this shit can get nutty real quick #and honestly we're all just here cos we love to read and we love steve and eddie and james and sirius and remus and rooster and hangman and #yep

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

Hello hello!!

Just dropping by to tell you how much I look forward to your writing!! I may not be caught up, but I always know I'm in for a treat!! I mean, come on, that fantastic fic you gifted me for FTH last year? "The Different Shades of Bilbo's Love"??? Excellent!!! You're one of my favorite authors, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next (even tho we talk about these things all the time - which I am so grateful!!)

But also, thank you so much for being an amazing friend. I'm honored to share not only a fandom with you, but genuine friendship!! We're so lucky to have the opportunity to hang out together, and I look forward to whatever our next adventure is!! Whenever this move I'm going through is done lol 💖

RAZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZYYYYYYY!!!!!

You are absolutely the best friend I could ever ask for, and I'm so thankful that we both looked at the same little dudes and said "those bastards deserve to be together". 🤣 No, but seriously, I enjoy every interaction we have (whether in person or virtual although the in person is always a blast!!), and for all that you get excited for my fics, I'm DOUBLY excited for yours!! Bookbinder//Songwriter, Below the Belt, When Darkness Shines Brightest just to name drop a few. 😉

#sunny answers stuff #i actually wanted to cry #this was such a sweet thing to find in my inbox #you're the best razzy!

[bonesandthebees]

omg i just remembered the apocalypse au u wrote w roxy, bc i was thinking about how u pull scenes from ur irl experiences and how it makes your writing feel that much more alive and it reminded me of the learning to drive scene from 17 hours and MANNN talk about an underrated bee fic

i dont know if ive ever seen someone talk about that fic man, i love that fic

i remember excitedly telling my friend that ROXY and BEE were writing a COLLAB !!! dude i was so fucking excited, my two fav fic authors?? collabing??? wtf?!?!?

and i also saw that youd be writing crimeboys and i was like FUCK YEAHHH I LOVE BEE'S CRIMEBOYS and then it was them fighting the entire time and i cried /j /lh

at least i got sandduo out of it LMFAOO

but yeahh :DD seriously such a cool fic

YESSS 17 HOURS MY BELOVED!! thank you thank you I also think it's an underrated one. roxy did such an incredible job with their half of things and I had so much fun writing my half.

the format was really cool to work out, and I remember when roxy and I first started a shared google doc for it and we decided to parallel the POVs in certain ways and it just started flowing so easily. roxy is just a fantastic writer and we had so much fun working on that fic together. the idea was literally pulled from me talking in a discord server about my dad calling me to remind me of our 'get the fuck out of dodge' plan in case things went to shit (this was when the ukranian war had just begun so my dad was paranoid about nukes), and I was joking about how the plan basically involves a post apocalyptic road trip. roxy brought up how that could be an interesting fic premise and suggested a collab, and things just sparked from there

ok crimeboys fought the entire time but they also had a lot of brotherly moments too so it wasn't all sad :( but ayyy sandduo. and then you get the sheer perfection of roxy's aeduo half. those two were having the worst time ever everything went wrong for them

tysm :))

#ask #icyfox17 #17 hours

[bisexual-horror-fan]

Bex I did it. I wrote my first smut fic. It’s Mickey x Reader (obvi) and I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for your advice the other day. It really helped me out a lot so thank you a whole bunch!!! - CJ <3

I ran to read it as soon as I got this ask! So obviously I gotta talk about it! So I love small details that communicate movement in fics, esp when establishing, so opening your fic with, "You sat on the couch, your fingers lightly tracing the ridges of the red solo cup in your hand as you listened to a drunken Randy babbling on about what movie to put into the VCR."

Was so fucking great. Starting strong is important and you deff did! Making the reader a Woodsboro survivor and a friend of Sid and Randy is a staple and a total classic, works here, and knowing what we know about Scream 2 and Mickey, makes this dynamic all the more interesting! Makes me think of how this would go down the line, you know? It gives intrigue! The pair of them interacting feels natural, I loved the line, “Yeah. Sidney’s got Derek and I’m sure he keeps her very distracted,”

Amazing.

The reader not being over the events of the first movie, solid! Love that kinda thing, esp when it leads into the reason for the smut! There are a million reasons to have sex and thus, a million reasons for smut to occur, and a distraction from grief, trauma and stress? Perfection. What better outlet than Mickey? What a good guy to help the reader out!

Okay, now we are at the goods, and I gotta say, the rushed nature of it hits hard. Also fucking in the bathroom at a party! Classic, even though I don't think I have written it myself yet, actually! Bathroom sex, yes, sex at a party, also yes, but sex in a bathroom AT a party? No! Shocker, I know. But future project, who knows.

I like the back and forth, love the development and as you know, I looove denial, and raw sex, condom? Who needs condoms?

I love some of your word choices here but let me focus on my fave moment of this whole thing. Mickey being a dick, denying her the whole time, fantastic, but when it gets to this moment,

“Please let me, please let me.” You began chanting those three words like a prayer and you felt his thrusts begin to stutter a little. You felt tears from the overstimulation begin to form in your eyes as you were all but sobbing and begging him to let you cum.

Okay. So. Wow, hot, very hot. As a person who reads almost exclusively denial based smut to get off, this is like top tier, this is what I am talking about! Something about the "please let me" over and over again is like stellar, a true standout.

So! I gotta say, for your first smut? Really fucking good job! Loved the ending too, very good point to finish off on, like you clearly got some skills, you keep on writing, keep on reading and no doubt you are gonna keep improving! I am excited to see what else you are going to do! Seriously dude, you got great bones and already some hot as fuck moments, I have no doubt if you stick with this you are going to only go up from here!

#MWAH #Thank you so much for sending this in #I am so glad my advice helped push you! #And that it helped you write this! #Amazingggg #BHF asks #mrsaltieri real

[evansbby]

oh……. my……….. GOD I am so sorry for how long this message is going to be. YOU HAVE KNOCKED IT OUT OF THE PARK ONCE AGAIN. I was so so so so so so excited to read poyt part 4 and I was so hype and so happy and I literally felt my heart skip a beat when I saw that you had posted it and have spent the last half hour freaking out about it. Your writing is genuinely so incredible oh my god…….. and you have no idea what it did to my heart to see omega finally stand up for herself and for Steve to finally realize how much he fucked up. THE FACT THAT HE SAID I LOVE YOU???????? THAT HE FINALLY SAID THAT????? THAT HE FINALY ADMITTED THAT HE CANNOT BRING HIMSELF TO NOT CARE ABOUT HER?????? He still was a little bit fucking crazy with the accusing her of sleeping with sam like hello dude I think it’s clear she would never treat you the way you treated her. I physically felt the pain in my chest when omega genuinely believed that everyone hated her and started asking Steve why everyone always leaves. It just broke my heart bc it finally made Steve realize that all of his efforts to break her down actually worked. AND THAT CLIFFHANGER??!!?!?!?!?!?!??!?! Good god do you know how to write a fantastic story that always leaves me wanting more. I just wanted to commend you on your genuinely prolific writing. Smut is absolutely amazing, but I think what you’ve done, tying in these complex and emotional arcs adds so many layers to it that it reads like one’s favorite novel. You have done such an unimaginably good job taking us inside the tangles inside of omega’s mind, how so much of her past and deep feelings of inadequacy inform her present and her future, and how one reacts when pushed to the breaking point. Hats off to you, this is phenomenal, beautiful, breathtaking work and I just am so grateful that you choose to share your brilliance with us time and time again. You made my day, and THANK YOU!!!!!

Okay so this was one of the first feedbacks I got when I posted the new chapter and?!!? This literally made me so emotional when I read it bc wow!!! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying my story, bestie!😭🫶🏼 seriously, I’m not worthy of all this praise!😩💕

And yes exactly, this chapter was about Steve realising that he’d achieved exactly what he initially thought he wanted to do — break her down. Except it turns out that (surprise, surprise) he took it too far and actually, he’s not happy with what HE’S done to her. Made her feel inadequate, insecure and broken💔 As for omega, this was a long time coming. You can only push someone so far before they reach breaking point.

#anon #poyt ask #keep this safe #poyt 4 ask

[sharpth1ng]

The fucking debaser the movie soundtrack is fucking galaxy brain shit dude!! Like I can visualise all of it and the song choices are fucking fantastic

Love your work bro, I was seriously fed reading through that. Thank you <3

Ahhh thank you! I've been literally working on it for months at this point so I'm rly glad y'all actually like it. I shoot little movies like this in my mind a lot so it was fun to write one out like this.

I'm going to try to get chapters 6-12 out when I post chapter 12, but realistically I'm probably going to finish chapter 12 before I'm totally happy with the rest of the playlist, so it will likely come out a little later.

#debaser the movie the soundtrack #ask