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onlyswan · 1 year

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summary: in which sour and salt could be so sweet when jungkook’s existence reminds you that there is still good in the world.

> fluff, a pinch of angst, suggestive / wc: 3.1k

> warnings: mention of the doctor bc oc missed their period >:(, allusion to s/x, making out, jungkook doing pull ups must be a warning for the faint hearted like me

note: we’re going through the seasons?! partly inspired by #that live and jungkook for calvin klein <3 we’ve all seen those pictures right… right… i hope the onlyswan prophecy continues with this drabble i need to see jungkook do pull ups at the beach <3 + reblogs & feedback are always appreciated :D

—

jungkook is a sunkissed daydream and a shirtless adonis. his tender hands are on your bare thighs, keeping himself steady on the light brown sand while you sit still and look pretty on a log.

“baby, are you pregnant?”

when a man spits out this question, it usually sounds a little bit something like an anxious and insensitive ‘you’re not pregnant, are you?’ your starry-eyed boyfriend is asking you in a calm tone, joking for the most part, yet genuine wonder is painted on his face as if you’re just supposed to tell him what day of the week it is.

you stare at him with a blank expression, silent for a moment as the fierce waves crash on the shore, finding it difficult to take him seriously. “i don’t know. did you break a condom?”

he breaks eye-contact to space out, pursing his lips as he pretends to be immersed in deep thought.

“uhh, not to my knowledge.”

“then i’m not.” you shrug your shoulders with a cheeky grin, scrunching your nose. “will you steal some mangoes for me now, please?”

“is my baby craving for them that bad?” he coos at you softly, inching closer to press a kiss on your lips. “no but why do you always ask me to steal mangoes for you?”

“what do you mean ‘always’? this is only the second time.” you scoff, offended by the accusation, shoving him lightly but he quickly takes a hold of your arms to save himself from falling.

he chuckles lightheartedly, recounting the first time you visited his hometown and you took a walk around his neighborhood together. you looked at the mango tree with so much longing, and he had so much love for you, it was untameable.

nothing much has changed.

except for the color of the mangoes, perhaps. they were yellow back then, ripe and soft. you ripped off the fragile skin with your bare hands as you devoured the nectar-filled fruit, and the both of you came home to his parents’ house sticky and satiated like little kids who played under the sun from noon to afternoon. today, they’re green and plump, and truthfully, his mouth is watering for a taste.

“you know, since the tree is directly infront of our villa-” he tilts his head to the side, briefly looking at your temporary private residence. “it’s technically ours, so it’s not stealing.”

your eyes are glitter with mischief, and they communicate without words before you burst into a fit of revitalizing giggles, filling your empty tummy with a childlike joy.

—

for a while before jungkook, you’d forgotten people are kind. you chose to live for yourself, and yourself only, because you thought that if you lose sight of your plans for the future because of a impetuous slip within the thrill of temptation, you would also lose the essence of your being that you’re actively fighting so hard to get a good grasp of. you’re in a never-ending, excruciating process of picking apart your identity; detaching yourself from what you learned in the past to make room for growth; and swallowing bitter pills of hard-taught lessons. but when you’re in a relationship, every decision goes through a filter, a need for an answer to the question of how would this make my partner feel?

your friends still ask from time to time, what it is about jungkook that made you bend this principle and compromise your plans when those were the reasons you impulsively ended relationships in the past.

you’d forgotten people are kind.

jungkook is messy. he always leaves behind a fragment of his heart, and you shake your head and you pick up each one to stuff it in the shallow pocket of your understanding of love… until the weight of them destroyed said pocket, and all of a sudden, you have awoken. he opened your eyes to the underlying implication of that filter, how having something sacred to protect is also what makes life more worth living after all.

more than two hours ago, at seven in the morning, he held back your hair while you emptied your guts in the toilet bowl. a week ago, he held your hand in the doctor’s waiting room and didn’t let go until your name was called. that same night, you sulked about the doctor concluding that the reason you didn’t get your period last month was stress again and he teared up when you said i eat well, and i exercise regularly. but in the end it’s all useless because stress is messing up my body and i can’t control it. what do i do? the next day, he cheerfully asked you if you wanted to go see the ocean with him. right now, he’s hanging on a thick branch of a tree, enthusiastically doing pull ups while you peel the raw mangoes he picked out for you.

the familiar sounds of moans and grunts convince you to move the log you’re sitting on, abandoning the view of the majestic blue sky kissing the sparkling ocean in favor of facing your gorgeous boyfriend. he moves on to doing hanging knee tucks, pulling his knees to his chest and gradually increasing his speed and range of motion after gathering enough leverage.

“ah, this is tiring!” his yell ripples across the near-empty beach. he squeezes his eyes shut, laughing through the pain that hurts so good.

you set aside the paring knife on the plain white porcelain plate, dipping a piece of mango in the hill of salt before taking a bite (you played rock-paper-scissors to decide who would call the front desk for salt and you won after jungkook said he lost because his rock was made of paper). this, it’s just what you needed to cure the lethargy that’s been eating away at you. the combination of sour and salty explodes in your taste buds, remedying your awful loss of taste and appetite.

you shudder in sheer delight, smiling sweetly at the man brazenly showcasing his strength infront of you. “i like this a lot. i can feel my stress melting away… like ice cream under the sun.”

“i’m happy you’re enjoying yourself while i-” he cuts off his sentence, letting himself fall on the sand before jumping again to adjust his grip on the rough wood. once again, he hauls his legs upward repeatedly, reaching higher and higher each time. he releases loud huffs of air, grunting raspily with every exertion of force.

you stifle a scandalous gasp when his knees touch his wrists, covering your mouth as you grind the food with your teeth. okay, you know damn well he is flexible and a human-shaped vessel of physical strength, but you mostly witness their irrefutable testaments during intense moments of love and lust… the blissful memories can be kind of hazy.

he heaves a deep sigh, taking a rest as he hangs motionless on the branch. picture-perfect, center-frame for your adoring eyes to feast upon. his honey skin is glazed with a fine sheen of sweat, further accentuating the well-defined muscles of his torso. you only get a tease of his v-line. it hides beneath the exposed white band of his calvin klein underwear peeking above his black swimming shorts. his stomach rises and falls with each breath, and you can’t help but to marvel at his abs with appreciation. beautifully prominent, sculpted not too much. you love that when you touch them, you still feel the tenderness of his flesh, so rawly and so uniquely jungkook.

“you like what you see?” he grins when your eyes meet, winking at you flirtatiously.

“i do.” you sheepishly admit, scrunching your nose before putting another slice of mango on top of your tongue. “keep going. i want to see more.”

“more? you want more?! aish- so demanding.” he complains, thick satoori accent dripping from his voice but still, he gives you more.

you giggle in satisfaction, closely observing the flexing of his muscles and the veins along his arms popping out. one must think you’re used to his tattoos by now, but you’re definitely not. you just learn how to act unaffected, like you can’t write a book of poems about how his body art never seizes to bring you in absolute awe. his eyebrows knit as he pulls himself up, face crumpling with the amount of force and strength he utilizes with every manuever. it’s a seductive scene, but then the dimples on his cheeks make fondness bloom in your heart.

for the love of god, it’s not compromising your plans, but making jungkook a part of your plans. you no longer fantasize about a perfect life. you just want to keep waking up somewhere safe— to be here, standing on the tips of your toes, planting a delicate kiss on the mole at the lower right side of his ribcage. your lips have made one too many sharp mistakes, but they ghost over his skin and he laughs. laughs so joyfully, a majestic string of musical notes from his mouth no other instrument on earth can recreate. it’s a good mistake, the best mistake you could ever possibly make.

“here, drink.“ you offer him a bottle of cold water.

“i’m so tired. oh, fuck-” he does one final pull up before letting go, deliberately falling on the sand and bumping against your feet when he rolls over.

he sits up, warm body vibrating with giggles as he looks up at you.

“did you pack a first aid kit?“

you put a hand over your hip, raising an eyebrow. “what happened now?”

“my hands-” he stares at his palms, sand coating half of the area, before showing them to you. “they sting like hell! seriously!” his little lisp slips out as he rants.

”then why did you keep going?!” you exclaim, grabbing his tattooed wrist to assess the damage. there’s no blood in sight, but his skin has turned a very bright shade of red.

“because it was fun.” he simply answers, and you can’t argue with that.

of course you brought a first aid kit. it’s a necessity, especially when you’re on vacation with your gym bunny boyfriend, apparently. while you grab the ointment in the bedroom, jungkook decides to clean himself up under the outdoor shower situated in a corner beside the swimming pool.

“what’s wrong with this? why are they going at the same time?” he scratches his head in confusion, looking up at the spraying shower head and down at the gushing faucet. he fiddles with the handle in hopes of fixing his problematic water consumption, unintentionally pushing it up higher as he does so. this causes the water pressure to become stronger, sending thin needles to crash down and pierce his fragile skin.

“aw shit-” he reflexively runs away from the rude attack of the silver device. “yah, you punk! what did i to you, huh?! how dare you-”

he clicks his tongue in irritation, resting his hands on his hips. after glaring one more time, he extends his tattooed arm to push the handle all the way down, turning it off. he proceeds to experiment, tilting it to the left, which turns on the faucet only, and then to the right for the shower.

he laughs sarcastically at his discovery, going back under the water. “ahhh, was i the stupid one?”

—

“i missed you!” he declares loudly as soon as you step out of the sliding door.

“me too, babe.” you hum as you walk towards him, standing a considerable distance from the shower.

he wipes his face with his hands to unblur his vision before pushing back his wet hair, droplets of water endlessly rushing down his body.

“why are you so far?” he protests. “come here.”

“but i already took a shower.”

“so what? you’ll get wet again when we ride the jet ski later.”

you pout at him. “i told you i’m scared.”

“i’d be jack if i have to, i won’t let you drown! don’t you trust your boyfriend, hm?” he attempts to persuade you again after failing last night, knowing well that you’d enjoy yourself only if you overcome your fear of the deep waters. “it will be fun, i promise.”

“ugh, fine. only because you promised.” you weakly succumb to his wishes, setting down the small jar of ointment on the ground.

he happily pulls you in for an embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck while your arms wrap around his waist. the only barrier between your chests is the thin and small fabric of your red bikini, thoroughly soaked by the cold water combatting the rising heat of the approaching noon. you can feel the rough grains of sand that were washed away from his skin under the soles of your feet, contrasting the feather-light kisses being scattered on your neck. and this feels so utterly liberating, you refuse for it to end, allowing yourself to be hastily pinned against the wall when his supple lips meet yours.

he cups the back of your head and his long and slender fingers dig into your hair, protecting you from accidentally hitting the hard cement. the small thoughtful gesture makes you smile into the kiss. he is not real, he can’t be. if this is a dream, you’re begging the sun to never rise. his gentle hands slowly travel down the expanse of your back, until they reach your hips, teasingly tugging past the side straps of your bikini bottoms before kneading the soft flesh of your ass. he swallows the strangled whine that escapes you, slipping his tongue past your parted lips. he’s addicted to how your body language speaks to him when you get intimate, how you lovingly caress his face and his arms, slow and sensual, but then unconsciously dig your nails to mark crescent moons on his skin when you begin getting lost in your combined passion.

he wants this. he wants you. he wants to spend the rest of his life kissing you and wringing the water from your hair.

—

you’ve deserted the log to comfortably sit cross-legged with jungkook on the lounge chair, under the shade of the brown umbrella rooted in the soil.

“mhmmm! it’s so delicious!” jungkook carefully dips the slice of mango in the salt once more, wary of the ointment from his hand smearing on the food, before muching on it eagerly. “so crunchy!”

you pause from tending to his left hand, looking at the plate between the two of you to learn that he is nearly finished with the second mango. you only have one left.

“damn!” he dramatically curses with his eyes squeezed shut, punching the salt air. without context, a stranger would probably guess that he tragically lost a bet or remembered an embarrassing memory from highschool. but really, he’s just enjoying some pretty good food. this is the fourth time in the past five minutes that he precisely did the same thing, and yes, you’ve been counting.

“is it that yummy?” you chuckle, extremely endeared and contented when he looks this excited around food. he is the only person in the world who can make you say i’m full just by watching you eat and mean it.

“it was your idea!” he bobs his head while energetically rocking from side to side, cheeks round and full as he chews. “i haven’t eaten something new in a long time. i love it… i should give the resort five stars for my review. just for this. i’ll say i’ll come back again for the mango tree.”

“or i don’t know, we can just plant one ourselves.” you propose before lightly blowing on his inflamed palm.

“but, baby, that would take years!” he interjects. “we need to buy another house, one with a backyard, and wait at least five years for it to grow. i’ll be thirty-two by then. are you hearing that?!”

the disgusted look on his face elicits a burst of amused laughter from you, stomach hurting with a reason miles better than earlier’s. he winces at the thought of entering his 30’s in the very near future. it feels odd to think about, but it’s a little less daunting with the tree added to the picture.

he picks up the final slice on the plate, smothering it with a thin layer of salt before devouring it entirely. he whimpers, high-pitched and wide-eyed, clasping his hand over his mouth before the other one you’re holding slips away from the solace of your care. he free falls from the chair, limply collapsing on the sand. and just like that, he’s covered in them again, from his damp hair down to his wiggly toes.

you move closer to look at him, dangling your legs on the edge. “darling, you’re still alive, aren’t you?”

he spreads out his limbs like a starfish, dreamily peering into the vast cloudy sky. “oh? i think this is exactly what it means to be alive.”

beyond his words, it’s the way he said them. without shyness, without qualms, without pondering. it makes him sound purely sincere, his mellifluous voice gracefully echoing louder than the nihilistic thoughts in your head, and you believe him.

he abruptly sits up, crawling on his knees to reach you. “baby! it’s too good! i want more!” he cries out, feigning desperate sobs as he hugs your legs. “i want more. let’s eat the third one, please.”

“fuck, okay. calm down. we’ll have it.” you cackle, stroking his hair while he rests his head on your lap.

you drag the plate to your side, slicing the last mango with practiced precision and skill. he, then, closes his eyes and bathes in your presence, his warm breath fanning you. it’s peacefully silent for a while, only the sounds of the knife dragging across the fruit and the waves chasing each other to the edge of the sea can be heard. that is until your boyfriend grows bored. he puckers his lips to brush against your soft skin, insatiable, climbing higher and higher until he’s peppering your inner thigh with kisses.

tingling sensations inevitably spark in your lower region, and you click your tongue to rebuke him. “jungkook, behave. i might cut myself if you keep that up.”

his lips curve into a naughty smirk, shifting a bit further down. “sorry.”

“do you want to get sunburnt? get back up here, on the chair.” you bounce your legs to shake him off, but your efforts prove to be fruitless.

he groans, stubbornly holding on to you tighter. “no, i don’t want to.”

—

taglist in the reblogs! send an ask / dm if you want to be added (or removed) :D

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#jungkook #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #jungkook scenario #jungkook imagine #jungkook one shot #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook au #bts fluff #bts reaction #jungkook angst #jungkook smut

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psychelis-new · 4 months

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pick a pile: "New Year's message for you"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to find a message that this new year wants to be delivered to you as it starts.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL! May you stay blessed, healthy, safe and happy all year long. May you be able to see your dreams come true before your eyes.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

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- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - some piles are interconnected so if you feel called by more than one it's fine, you may find your messages divided among them.

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pile 1

Honeybun this year I want you to focus on doing a bit more for yourself. More of the things you enjoy, more of the things you can do to show yourself love and care: make yourself a cup of that drink you love, stay hydrated/eat well, make your bed carefully, take a long bath, read or watch a movie, start that course you wanted to try, go to that new shop/market you wanted to see, dance and sing, draw and paint, go for a walk, take a nap, give yourself accolades for all you've done until now. Give yourself small gifts here and there to show yourself how much you appreciate all you do and the person you are becoming. You deserve that. Working on yourself while handling relationships and life is not easy, and you're doing your best. Take a breath, take time for you and set your boundaries. You're giving a lot on the outside to others, and I'd like for you to learn how to include yourself more into that receiving side. Not everything others need has to be so impellent: give it the right importance. Give to yourself too, you are as deserving as anyone else just because you're alive now: you don't have to do anything in particular to deserve love and care. Remind yourself that is not perfection what you're aiming for, as it doesn't exist: mistakes are okay, they help you grow and better yourself. Be nice, be happy: beautiful things are coming. Stretch yourself out, take (up) your place/space in your life. P.S. I know you like to write, so write. Write it all down. You never know... Don't be scared of talking about yourself and your needs.

song: cure my desire | hannah wants, clementine douglas

Possible meeting of new people especially friends and especially if you've been alone for a while now in the most unexpected ways/places (maybe also while you're expressing yourself in some -even artistic- way: could be photography, writing, talking, taking notes, studying, classes/courses...), follow your guts.

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pile 2

Little cutie you're so lovely you have no idea. And you're hurt, even if maybe you're not entirely aware of the ways you are. But that's okay: it'll come to you with time. We don't have to know and understand everything immediatly: that'll be too much, don't you think? We need to let things move and develop at their own pace. And at our own pace too: we need to respect ourselves. I know for now you may just feel confused and hurt, and I'm sorry. But don't give up. What I can tell you is: I'm gonna be gentle with you. I'm gonna watch you grow and learn how to take care of you and of your past, step by step (baby steps!). Your inner child needs you so much... Don't shut them off, listen to them. Help them find the answers they seek and could never get. Help them receive the love and attention they deserve. Those bandages you put over your wounds are now in need to be removed and the wounds need a better healing. Let them go, don't hold onto them anymore. I know you feel so worned out now, but you will make it. You have no idea what can be born on a healing wound. Think about the cracks in the concrete and how flowers can born from them. You're the same. You have buildt up walls and confined yourself behind a rigid structure to protect yourself but now it's all starting to crumble: you're too sweet to not be willing to deal with others and receiving love. You need others, everyone does. Let it all crumble, let others come closer. You will know who to trust, trust yourself. You will know how to make flowers come out of that place of hurt, you will survive. You will make it. I love you.

song: release | editors

You have probably jaded yourself out of pain or have been jaded for a while, maybe you're finding out about triggers and traumas you may need to work on. I feel things will start to improve this year, you may be approached by good people. Some of you may also be approached by someone from their past trying to make things up: up to you if to let them in again in your life or not but please be aware of who they are now and keep in mind the pain they caused you. Stay grounded. I don't see much career/school-wise, probably it's not the main focus of the year or there aren't huge changes in sight as for now.

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pile 3

Sweetheart, it's time to move. It's time to change, to travel. To see new places and experience new emotions. To start a new life. I know you want it too, you're hungry for all that at this point. It's time to travel in time as well: go to your past once more, it's almost done. Take care of your inner child and younger self, help them heal the last bits of pain. Love them and love your present self the same way, as they're still part of you. They still live inside of you: embrace them, embrace your whole self, embrace every part of you. And plan your future: don't let life and others decide your moves entirely. Listen to what they want to say and find the hidden meaning of what happens if you need, but then act according on your intuition. Trust yourself and your guts the most and be aware of others' real intentions and energy around you. Be graceful and delicate as you've always been but don't let anyone fool you, don't let their fears win you over, don't let your hurt self control you and hinder you. You already know it: it's time, it's time. It's time to shed a light onto what is hidden, onto what is dark; it's time for clarity, especially of your mind. Be open to receive, also new downloads from us. We're not leaving from your side, ever. It's our time too now. Be a ray of sunshine for everyone to see, be always lovely and warm with others as I know you are. Dream big and act even bigger.

song: set fire to the rain | adele

For some, strong love energy (possible counterpart/fs/long time partner-- their higher self may be in contact with you); also new start in career/change of career/start of business/change of school or way to study/results

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pile 4

Dear one, this year I would like you to focus on creating your new self, on crafting yourself with no fear of failure. You have all that you need, just let yourself see that and welcome who you are from within. Take time to know yourself/build up yourself again, if this is what you need now. You've been through a lot now so it's okay to be confused and maybe even angry. But do not give up on the amazing person you are. Shine bright, and let those who like you, see the real you. Let your real self out and be liked by others, and don't worry about how they may perceive you. I know it's hard and you only want to be accepted, as you are tired of feeling alone, but trust me: the moment you start embracing yourself, people will come at you, attracted by your amazing talents and abilities. You can't see them now, so please, go within to find them. You have plenty, trust me. Be nice and compassionate with yourself: you've been through a lot. And remember it's okay if it's going to take a little more time to get where you want: the path you will choose, will take you anywhere you want. Just don't let others' images of you make you change your mind. Life and relationships are pretty complex, and it's hard to get through them tbh. But you can make it, you can come out of the storm and you will. And out of this storm, you'll find exactly want you want. Even me.

song: le cose più rare | cosmo (at the end it keeps repeating "then maybe one day we'll meet again" and I think it may be important for someone of you, especially if about someone you're no longer in contact with/cannot be in contact with)

For some, there's possible love/partnership (also friends) in sight; career-wise you may receive an important offer and/or as said get into a partnership or find clients interested in what you offer (you may come up with that in a few months if you aren't still sure about it)

#pac #pick a pile #pick a card #divination #pick a card reading #pick a photo #pick a picture #pick a card tarot #tarot readings #tarots #intuitive readings #clairs readings #psychic readings #tarotblr #tarotcommunity

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zeldasnotes · 1 year

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Neptune Notes🧜‍♀️

Check out Moon Notes and Venus Notes

♆If you have a prominent Neptune in your chart you might notice that its hard for others to take you seriously when you are angry because you look so innocent? Thats because your power lies in that innocence. You power lies in looking helpless and getting others to rescue you and getting sympathy from others. Not saying you should use it just saying thats it. Just like ppl with prominent Mercury got their power in their sneakiness and their sharp tongue.

♆ A lot of people with Mercury/Neptune aspects grew up being ignored or left alone in their room a lot. So they had to fantasize to survive mentally which leads to them having a hard time with reality as they get older. They learned to view life from rose colored glasses to survive.

♆ People with Neptune in the 1st house probably feeling like they have never met anyone like them before. They give off this angelic otherwordly aura. Like they are more than human.

♆ People with Venus/Neptune had a mother who constantly criticized herself and was obsessed with her appearance. So they learned early that flaws are something to be covered up and fixed. Thats why they become the perfect partners and do everything they can to look their best. Their mother could also have been very submissive to their dad or blindly in love with him while their father ignored their mother.

♆ Neptune in the 2nd house can be way to generous.

♆ Neptune in the 10th house can be known for being a drug addict. You know in every town there is a group of addicts who everybody knows, they probably have Neptune conjunct Midheaven.

♆A lot of Neptune aspects especially squares can make a person very submissive with a inferiority complex.

♆ Moon aspecting Neptune can indicate a mother who suffers with some kind of addiction.

♆Im so sorry but when people with Mercury Square Neptune tells me a story I have to ask somebody else who was there if thats what really happened.

♆ Mars aspecting Neptune can others an impression of being weak or afraid. Men with this aspect probably gets ”tested” by other men a lot and might be unable to go out to pubs and nightclubs because of men wanting to start fights with them.

♆ Ive seen Mars Square Neptune to be a common placement in people who get used for sex. These people are easily taken advantage off and might believe that they are gonna get into a relationship with the people who just wants to sleep with them.

♆ Neptune rules who we overidealize:

Sun/Neptune: You overidealize your father and men. Moon/Neptune: You overidealize your mother and women. Mercury/Neptune: You overidealize siblings and younger people. Venus/Neptune: You overidealize beautiful women in general and your partners/female friends. Mars/Neptune: You overidealize men and sexual partners, and your enemies.

♆ Neptune in the 1st house can change the way their voice sound depending on who they are talking to. They can even change body language and the way they walk. The scary part is that it comes naturally for them.

♆ People with Venus Square Neptune are so cute and pretty. Like little dolls.😍

♆Neptune dominance in a chart can make someone very kind with huge ammounts of empathy and compassion.

♆People with a lot of Neptune probably get approached by beggars on the street. They look like they will give you what you need. (As a Neptunian myself I have to say ive always been weak for beggars, I cant just walk past them without giving something. When I was little my mom got mad at me because I always wanted to give them our stuff😂)

♆ Squares to Neptune in the chart reminds me of those ”once you see it you cant unsee it” pictures. When you finally figure that planet out you can use it to your benefit. Venus Square Neptune once you stop trusting everyone you will realize that you got the gift to make people trust you and see YOU as the ideal partner, instead of painting others as some kind of ideal.

♆ And once people with Neptune in the 1st house realize the power they hold its over. Kim Kardashian is a perfect example of this constantly creating scandals and extreme ammounts of money because she know how easy it is to make people think all kinds of crazy things about her.

#astro notes #astrology #astro observations #astronotes #ascendant #neptune ascendant aspects #birth chart readings

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icanseethefuture333 · 5 months

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Celestial alignment: Pick a pattern in the sky

Messages to realign you with your soul path

Pile 1:

Shufflemancy -

Replay by Lady Gaga

JMK by Sango ft. Xavier Omar

Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine

Ten of Wands, Eight of Cups, The Magician, The World, & Three of Cups

There is a call for you to let go of thoughts that are holding you back. There is something about repetition here that is preventing you from progressing into the next chapter of your life. You could be taking on the burdens of other people as a way to help them. Your guides are urging you to please stop. You are constantly making sacrifices for others when they aren't doing this for you. Your lesson right now is to focus on making yourself the top priority. You are always putting yourself on the back burner. Some people here take care of their family members or work in the medical field. It's understandable to be worried and to care for your loved ones or other people, but who's be concerned about you? Who is making sure that you are alright or have what you need? If nobody is there for you, then you have to be there for yourself. Start making goals or a list of things you wish to accomplish. You need to realize you are worthy and deserving of what you desire, start dreaming again, pile 1. The universe is waiting and ready for your call and demand. Once you have faith in yourself, the universe will be ready to make your dreams come true. A journey of peace, abundance, and celebrations will be coming your way soon.

Summary:

Change your thoughts & way of thinking.

Practice mindfulness & work on releasing limiting beliefs.

Learn how to include self care in your daily routine

Set boundaries

Think about what your goals or dream are

Make a list or a vision board

Research information on manifestation or spirituality that aligns with your beliefs

Pile 2:

Shufflemancy -

Bruises by Kelela

Brain by Mariah the Scientist

Omega by SAAY

Seven of Wands, King of Wands, Wheel of Fortune, The Aeon (Judgement), & Nine of Pentacles

This pile gave me goosebumps when shuffling - You have a very intense aura and strong presence, pile 2! Something about having to "fight" or the "brain" being significant. I'm reminded of this wounded emoji: 🤕. You could suffer from past trauma or have a mental disorder. I had to rewrite for this pile because it didn't save and I felt so frustrated having to write for this pile again, but it made me realize that this is possibly how you feel in life. You are constantly having to work with difficult circumstances without seeing any progress of the outcome. There were a lot of struggles that you had overcome and I am reminded of movie The Truman Show. His entire life was just programmed for him and he was forced to live a life he didn't want for the entertainment of others just so they could have a TV Show to watch. So I feel like people found joy in your misfortune and suffering, which I am terribly sorry for. The thing is though that was in the past and you don't have to deal with these people anymore. You don't have to pretend to be this character that obviously doesn't resonate with you. You can create an entirely new life, new self concept, new everything for yourself. Think of who you want to be as an individual, not what other people have labeled you as or want you to be. You have to start realizing that you are free to do as you please. Life can be like a simulation and we could all be considered avatars, but we don't realize is that we are able to customize our reality in anyway we wish. You have the inner strength and passion but you are just stuck in this survival mode that is not serving you anymore. It is time for you to move on and your spirit guides are being stern with me right now but they're saying "take this shit seriously". If you have a dream or goal you know you wanna do, take action and stop complaining. Stop with the excuses, the self pity, and the martyr complex. Once you start asking the universe for help is when you can start to achieve your dreams. "It's like clockwork". I am seeing that you feel that you're running out of time in life to accomplish your goals but I am reminded of Maddy from Euphoria when she said "Don't worry, this is only just the beginning". Your "shift" or soul purpose has only just begun and time is ticking for real now. I am getting a vision of someone holding a bright lantern in a dark cave and they are like making a come hither motion with their hands. So I believe this is the universe and your guides saying if you need guidance and you are unsure what to do or where to go or how to even begin the project you wish to work on - Ask them. Once you start asking the universe for help shit is going to change in your life dramatically because your purpose is very significant and it is going to be for the better of society but you have to stop being in your ego and acting stubborn because it is not helping you or anyone else for that matter. I'm not saying you have to be some sort of holy messiah or the rebirth of Jesus Christ himself, but you are going to be someone who will make a difference in this world. As you embark on this journey, it is crucial that you pay attention to the signs the universe or spirit gives you. It is okay if you make mistakes but you have to be careful and aware of people or vices that will sabotage you in the end. So listen to your intuition and notice those gut feelings. I feel like people will be giving you your flowers in the future, that could mean you will be someone who has a certain level of status, or this means people will show appreciation or gratitude for your benevolence and charity. You have this gift or tool that the universe has blessed you with and you have to utilize it for the good will of others.

This is a powerful message I channeled from spirit: "Others who have begun early are merely the matches that were chosen out of indulgence, for candles & waxes, the faster they burn, the quicker their ashes will fall. The last one to be picked, is the match that is the resource for those in need of hope and warmth when faced with the darkness."

Summary:

Use your intuition

Release the version of yourself that is no longer serving you

Embrace change & endings

The end of a chapter means a new beginning

Rely on your inner strength & wisdom

Ask for guidance

Focus on what it is meant for you

"All that glitters isn't gold"

Pile 3:

Shufflemancy -

Lemon by N.E.R.D ft. Rihanna

Starface* by Jean Dawson

Screen Time by Epik High ft. HOSHI

The Tower, Four of Pentacles (reversed), Three of Wands, The Sun, & Four of Wands

The pile's energy instantly chirped me up and made so happy! Its interesting how the piles are always so unique in their own way. You could have been or are currently in denial with your circumstances. It reminds me of Hey Ya! by Outkast. Go take a look at that music video or listen to the song if you're unfamiliar with it. It's a fun happy song, but the meaning of the lyrics are actually quite depressing. You could have this mindset of: "Y'all don't wanna hear me you just wanna dance!". You could be someone who is pessimistic and a downer, always wanting to look at things from a more "realistic" perspective. Although, your spirit guides are asking you to actually change this way of thinking. I actually see that you have a really bright and energizing aura! You could be really funny, pile 3! Your purpose could align with having a good sense of humor or being a source of hope and optimism for others. You could be interested in working in the entertainment field. Once you get past this, you will realize how much fun life can actually be! Your past challenges could also be viewed from a more positive standpoint. For example, the situation might have been unfortunate, but did you learn anything valuable? Or was there any positive outcomes because of that said situation. Reflect on your life experiences and lessons to see where the universe actually might have helped you dodge a bullet or blessed you with protection or love. You could also attract new people into your life who will make you feel a sense of joy and gratitude. This pile just reminds me of a fun summer day, where people eat watermelon or have fun at the pool. Another song I'm channeling is Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff & Will Smith. You will be celebrating and having a good time with your loved ones in the future soon. I believe honestly your path for now is to focus on happiness and sharing love and light with others!

Summary:

Have fun!

Make jokes that uplift people's energy

Focus on the good vs dwelling in negativity

Try to make someone laugh or smile!

Make plans for the summer

Hang out with your friends or spend time with family

Your past struggles are why you're still here. You overcame a great deal and should be proud of yourself!

#pac #pick a card #pick a pile #astrology #astro observations #astrology observations #spirituality #tarot #tarot cards #tarot deck #tarot reading #oracle #oracle cards

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viaoverthemoon · 10 months

Note

I have a small request here too✋ I was thinking about Leon (damnation maybe) x fem!reader with reader being his daughter's kindergarten teacher, and the little one falls in love with her and wants to spend more time with reader, and Leon he finds himself forced to accept this, so he falls in love with the reader. It can be with smut at the end or just something romantic, it doesn't matter.

I hope I explained it ok, I've had this idea in my head for some time but I don't know how to express it 😂❤️❤️

Oooo this sounds so cute stawpppp.

Since I have another fic in the works that's drenched in smut, I'll keep this one fluffy. ;)

Damnation!Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're a kindergarten teacher for Leon Kennedy's daughter and she wants to keep you forever!

Tw: Fluff, Mention of deceased relative, Mention of past miscarriage

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!

Enjoy! <3

To Belong

❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁

"Congratulations, Arabella! It looks like you're our student of the week!"

You gently place the pin on Arabella's shirt, smiling widely at her proud expression.

Being a kindergarten teacher definitely has its downs. But also has its ups as well. One of those ups being the honor of teaching these innocent children. Every day is something new, a new experience that makes you realize the importance of raising the next generation.

Arabella turns towards you, smiling so wide her cheeks must hurt. She grabs onto your leg. "Thank you, Miss (L/N)! This means so much to me!"

You smile down at her, proud of her for using the feelings lesson you'd taught her, and crouch to her level to give her a hug. "You're welcome, Arabella! I'm so proud of you. Thank you for being such a kind student!"

She seems to take your praise very seriously, being super kind to her classmates and staying by you side, asking if you need help or service in any kind of way.

❁

At the end of the day when everyone has left, you sit alone at your desk.

Whilst flipping from one graded paper to another, the door to your classroom creaks open.

You raise your head just in time to see Arabella run into the room, screaming with her arms in the air. "MISS (L/N)!!!!"

You laugh as she runs around your desk and hugs you, babbling nonsense excitedly. "Oh my goodness! Back so soon, Arabella?"

She gives a hyper nod. "Yes!"

"'Yes ma'am', Bella."

Your eyes snap up, locking with a pair of bright blues.

You look at him, surprised.

The man held a strong resemblance to Arabella, minus the straight blonde hair Arabella carried. They shared blue eyes and a soft face. If anything, his rough exterior yet light features suited him. Gave him a mysterious and alluring air that draws people to him, searching to learn more about him.

"Oh- yes ma'am- Daddy look, look! This is the nice teacher I was telling you about!"

You rise from your chair and hold out a hand with a smile. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Kennedy."

He shakes your hand and offers a nod. "Pleasure to meet you too, Miss (L/N). As you can see, I've heard quite a lot about you."

He gives his daughter a pointed look that makes you laugh. You gesture to the seat across from your desk, offering him a seat as you settle back into your chair. "I assume there's a reason you're here that I could help you with?"

Mr. Kennedy sits in the chair, seemingly tired as he falls into the seat and instinctively spreads his legs.

You try your hardest not to acknowledge the action, but your eyes fail you, flickering down his frame for half a second before returning to his face.

You instantly regret your mistake when he smirks at you, straightening up just a bit and resting his arms on his legs. "Actually, I was hoping to discuss what Arabella's behaviors are like while she's at school, as well as how she's learning." He pauses. "I mean, obviously if she's getting student of the month for the 2nd time, she's doing pretty good."

He smiles and playfully ruffles Arabella's hair, earning a laugh from the 5-year-old. "But still. It would be nice to hear from her teacher, not her."

You clear your throat and nod, turning away to escape the burn of his gaze and pulling out a folder labeled A.K., Arabella Kennedy's character chart.

"Of course, I understand. Let's start with how she handles assignments."

❁

After about 45 minutes of talking, Leon seems satisfied with his daughter's school life and begins to pack up his things to leave. But Arabella becomes upset, running to you and refusing to let go of your leg.

"No! I'm not ready to say bye to Miss (L/N) yet!"

She throws the standard child tantrum, small tears streaming down her reddened puffed out cheeks as you gently try to coax her into letting go.

"Arabella... Don't be upset. You'll see me again on Monday-"

But she's relentless, shaking her head and kicking away Mr. Kennedy's hands as he tries to reach for her.

Eventually, he sighs and looks at you embarrassingly. "I'm so sorry Miss (L/N). She's hardly ever like this."

Seeing as this is something you deal with all the time, you just shake your head, offering a small smile. "Don't worry about it. I'm used to this behavior... I'm about to leave for the day. If you guys want, we could go out for a quick dinner? This way, we won't have to part so soon."

This gets the crying 5-year-old to quiet down almost immediately. She looks up from your leg, tears and snot smeared all over your pant leg. "Really? Can we?"

You look up at Mr. Kennedy, raising a brow for conformation. And, seeing as there was no way around it, he gives in.

❁

And from that moment forward, you and the Kennedy family became quite close.

You shared a few dinners and spent time together at amusement parks and entertainment events, eventually becoming so close that you'd even watch Arabella when Leon had to leave for reasons of his job.

You listen to his stories, and he listens to yours.

He shares how he and Arabella have no one else to depend on. Her mother, although she and Leon didn't have a good relationship, had died during childbirth. And how he'd lost his own parents long ago, growing up an orphan and not having much.

And you share only having your parents. You could have had a little one yourself, but unfortunately grieved a harsh miscarriage and the father of the child leaving soon after didn't help.

You both end up having more in common than you'd originally thought.

And now, you share more than just experiences and memories. Now, you share shy looks and ghostly touches.

Somedays his hand will graze yours and you both will avoid each other's gaze, ignoring the sudden spark that comes when you make contact.

That is until, one night Leon returns from a particularly long job to find you curled up on his living room couch with a book in hand, reading glasses perched on the bridge of your nose.

"Hey, sorry for the long night. Never meant to be gone that long." He shrugs off his leather jacket and throws it over the arm of his second couch.

You eye his fatigued figure for a moment before removing your glasses and putting down your book. "No, it's alright. You know I don't mind, Leon."

Sitting up, you pat the spot next to you on the couch, offering him a seat. "Arabella's upstairs asleep in her room..." He gives a soft grunt and falls on the couch, rubbing the back of his neck while nodding and muttering a 'Good. Thank you.'

Eyes skillfully assessing his behavior, you decide to ask him the question that's been on your mind. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

He glances at you through his peripheral but instantly looks away. "Yes. I'm fine. You can go now."

In all honesty, the way he suggested you leaving hurt your feelings. But you didn't relent. "If it's alright with you, I'd like to stay..."

Reaching a hand out, you place it on top of his on his lap. He flinches slightly, but doesn't push you away. He pauses for a second...

And then he relaxes, flipping his hand over to wrap it around yours.

Your heart is in your throat and the palms of your hands begin to sweat. But you don't show it, smiling shyly at Leon and holding his hand.

He doesn't look at you. Doesn't show any signs that he acknowledges you besides the fact that he isn't letting go of your hand. "Why do you stay? Why do you want to stay?"

The monotone question catches you off guard. You momentarily freeze as his eyes find you.

Blue frozen glaciers filled with oceans and rivers of pure sadness and regret. The emotion in his eyes makes you briefly wonder where he finds the space for the happiness he feels with Arabella.

Or if he'll have the space for happiness with you.

You take a moment to think, looking down at your linked hands and gliding a thumb over the warmth of his skin. "I feel happiest when I'm here with the two of you. As you know, I don't have much. All I've had to look forward to has been my students... but now... I have the both of you."

You look him in the eyes, trying to convey your emotions through the look in yours. "These past few weeks have been the best I've lived through in years... I'm tired of living alone, Leon. Life is worth so much more when you spend it with somebody else."

He looks at you in shock, not sure what to say about your sudden confession. His mouth opens and closes like a fish, trying to choose the right words to say.

You look away bashfully. "Er- What I'm trying to say is... I'd like it if we could spend... more time together. And see each other more often. But-! It's completely up to you, of course."

For a moment, the silence is nerve wracking. You try not to fidget too much or show that you're anxious in awaiting his answer.

You're beginning to lose hope when Leon's hands are suddenly on your hips.

You're so surprised by his actions that you hardly notice him gently coaxing you into sitting on his lap.

Your legs straddle his thighs, backside rested on his knees when you suddenly notice your position. Your face burns hot, and you rest your hands on his shoulders.

His hands find purchase on your waist. "If I'm being honest, I expected you to leave us a long time ago... I didn't mean to be rude. I just didn't think you'd stay."

He caresses your sides, warm hands heating through the fabric of your clothes. "And... I would like it- a lot if you stayed with us. Not only would you make me happy, but you'd make Arabella happy too. And that matters more than anything."

You pretend to ponder on your decision, looking away with a small smile on your face before turning back to Leon. "Well... I guess I can stick around-"

The sentence barely leaves your lips before Leon pulls you in, kissing you with so much relieved passion that you momentarily feel dizzy.

And for once, you feel like you truly belong somewhere.

Yes. This feeling is definitely one you can get used to.

❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁❁´◡`❁

Nobody: My inbox screaming and crying for help: 😓😭😭☠️ Me with 0 internet or data: 🧍🏾‍♀️💃📖

Hope you enjoyed!

More requests coming soon!

Requests are open!! <3

#viaoverthemoon #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy #leon x reader #resident evil #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #re4 leon #re4 #smut #leon s kennedy #resident evil leon #leon re4 #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy smut #leon scott kennedy #re4 remake #leon kennedy x y/n

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silvershiningtarot · 3 months

Text

🧸Pac: Message From Your Divine Masculine & Feminine 💪❤️🍂

Disclaimer: this is a channeled message from your Divine Masculine and Feminine and see what kind of message they had to say to you guys. Enjoy! Remember this is a general reading.

Pile 1🫢 Pile 2🤞

Pile3🫂

🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾❤️🫶🏾

“Hey, You! This is your husband. I'm gonna come out and say it. I'm kinda little jealous. I'm looking at someone else's success. Sometimes I be wondering how the fuck they got it and I didn't. That shit should be me. So I am trying to build up my business and seriously, be fucking jealous baby. But whatever though. Don't be like me. Baby, please, be better than me don't look at other people's success thinking or wishing that was you. Nah, you don't want their success because you don't know how they got theirs. I am your divine masculine. I dealt with a lot of bullshit from people who tried to knock me down. But I fought my way back up. I keep my head on my shoulders. I am my boss. I am an honest man/woman. I take accountability for my mistakes because I dealt with a lot of dishonest people in the world. I don't fuck with liars. I can't stand them. It frustrated me. So I know you are dealing with a lot of karmic friends and those people are lesson-learns. Don't worry about that contract is done with these friends of yours. I'll be there standing by your side making sure that these assholes don't touch you. That's right, I am your bodyguard, and if anyone has a problem with it then guess what I'll knock their head off their bodies. I dealt with a lot of bad friends in my life who stole from me and continued to say they loved me. Like the fuck! Wack! Forgot those bastard babies. You are so much better than that. Your aura and energy are perfect for them. So let's move on. I've made some mistakes in the past. That is unforgiven. Even I believe myself is unforgiven. But all the mistakes you've made and that I have made will help us grow to become better. But I am willing to change my attitude and my mindset on love ❤️. So, baby, we can do that together. I can feel it in your soul that you are willing to change your life and mindset. Here is my surprise to you. Will you marry me? I will get on one knee for you and ask you in front of the whole world that I will marry you. Do you fantasize about our wedding? Because I do. I would want to take the next step with you. Okay, whoever cyber-bullying you let me know. I will bust their head wide open. My advice to you is that don't listen to people and their bullshit. People love being happy in misery. So take my advice and focus on yourself and our future together. Imagine our wedding together. Once we do meet, baby, we will start our life together. You and I are each other’s new beginning. Remember us and where I'll be your new beginning your fresh start. We all need something new. My Queen to be as my forever. Don't ever tell me never. I promise you I'll make your life wild. I'm already crazy about you, my love. If you find me attractive then that's cool with me too. Yes, I have a big egotistical issue but I am working on it.

🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂❤️‼️🍂‼️❤️🍂‼️🍂❤️‼️

“Okay, I know you think I do flirt with a lot of females and males. But that's just my nature. I am a charmer. I am a friendly kind of person. But with you, you are something special. You make me work for you. There are times I don't like that but other times, I fuck it with heavily💪. You put me on a whole different level than I ever experienced in my life. I have a little message for you, I'll be the type to bring you flowers even if you don't like flowers I'll change your mind about it. I'm starting something new in my life. I had to walk away from a situation that wasn't meant for me. I'm ending a lot of cycles in my life. I'm planning on relocating somewhere else. Maybe, closer to you. I want to clear my mind and move forward. I'm working on healing my inner child and watching a lot of cartoon movies and shows 📺 to heal my wounds. I feel that you and I will watch a lot of movies together. I know you need to heal your inner child as well. Watch some movies and cartoons shows whatever makes you happy. Shit, I'll watch it with you. That's not a problem with me. I feel that you need to pay close attention to your inner child. They need some attention. I have been feeling so lost. I went through some shit that I felt that nobody wouldn't understand. Because I felt stupid, unloved, and not heard. I didn't work on myself so now I'm trying too. I know you probably dealt with toxic connections whether it's a relationship, friendship, or family relationship. If that shit is toxic for you then might as well, get the fuck out of it. I dealt with a gaslighter and manipulated people in my life. I'm still going through it. I don't want you to go through it. Because I don't want you to feel lost or lose yourself for someone else bullshit. It just fucking lame to me. Excuse my language. I know it. I'm still dealing with a toxic relationship. I'm trying to move forward but my ex keeps coming around and I'm still in a relationship. Don't be as stupid as me. I keep getting heartbroken by her/him but I'm trying.”

🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸👏🏽🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸👏🏽💐🌸

“Hey, Baby do you hear me calling? I don't want no drama. Because you're my darling. I'm sorry, my Goddess. I've been hard on myself lately, a lot of fears have been creeping on me. I don't know how to confront someone. Got any advice? I'm afraid to talk to you sometimes I feel that you are going to reject me. I dealt with a lot of false mask people. Some of my friends aren't showing who they are and my ex-lover is mine. I think I've been betrayed. I don't have time for it. My heart has been shattered plenty of times. I am just ready to move on with my life. Are you? I know you probably have unfinished business with your ex and so do I. But I am manifesting new love in my life. I want that new hope so I can have a fresh start with you. Can you believe me when I say it? I fantasize about having good sex with you. I wanna fuck your brains out. I wanna blindfold you and feed you strawberries 🍓. I wanna put all kinds of fruits around your lips and put them in your mouth 👄. Your tongue is sexy. Can I lick it? It’s just this ex won't leave me alone. They won't back off me. Every time I've tried to move on she/he always pops back up. What am I curse? Do you feel the same way? Like don't you wish that we could just open our eyes and then we just ended up in each other’s lives? That would be fucking fantastic. Haha 😂 anyway, how are you? Have you been eating? Are you eating healthy food and water? I hope that you are because your body is important to me 💔 your health is important to me. I want us to watch our children grow up and watch our grandkids play in our grass while we sit in our rocking chairs. As old people together. You are my rest of my life. Remember that.”

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they-call-me-emmy · 5 months

Text

The Past is The Past 3

Part 1 and 2 on my account <3

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tara was faced with her 3 ghostface, and this time got so seriously injured she was in a coma. When she wakes up, she has no memory of the past 3 years...including you, her girlfriend.

Notes: Imagine this as our gals scream 7...since Jenna apparently quit and left me fucking DYING

Warnings: Uh, injury, violence, blood, our boy ghostyface with knives. Coma and memory loss if thats even a warning. Swearing. Uhm. Shitty 7th grade writing.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tara pushed the food around her plate using her fork. She'd barely eaten a bite all dinner, busy glaring at Sam and avoiding any sort of eye contact with Y/N.

"So." Sam began, putting a hand to her mouth and pausing, to finish chewing. "Y/N. How's life been treating you? I haven't seen you around in a while."

There was a second of silence as Y/N finished her food.

"Fine." She stated, setting her fork down on her napkin. "Work's been rough, but nothing besides that."

Sam nodded. "You work at that bookstore, right? The one with the bunny in the window? I drive by it on my way to the grocery store."

Tara had no idea what they were talking about. She hadn't gone shopping since she'd come home. What bookstore? What bunny? It was like listening to people speaking nonsense.

"Yeah. That's the one. Shifts have been longer recently, we're low on staff."

Sam nodded, continuing to eat. Y/N cleared her throat.

"Tara," Tara startled from her daze at the sound of her name, in Y/N's voice no less. "Sam's been telling me your getting back into horror? Is that true?"

Tara glared at Sam.

"I've always been into horror."

Y/N nodded, pursing her lips, sensing the tension in the room. The need to just...not talk.

"I was-" Y/N cleared her throat and took a sip of water. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to watch some of your favorites...y'know, the few we watched in the last year you really enjoyed? I wouldn't mind re-watching them with you."

Tara couldn't help but feel weird. She's watched movies with this girl. She'd watched horror movies. She'd watched horror movies and enjoyed them. With this girl? This girl she hardly knew now?

"Maybe."

Y/N nodded.

"I've been busy lately." Tara pushed a cooked carrot into her napkin. She didn't like those.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Tara, you've been sitting on your ass for the past week-"

Tara suddenly stood up. "I'm finished. I'm going to go wash the dishes." She took Sam and Y/N's plates and left without another word.

Tara knew they'd talk the moment she left. She hovered at the door, running the sink in the background so they'd think she was cleaning. Maybe they'd mention the big thing tonight. Maybe they'd say something that would finally help her understand her past.

"I'm sorry she's being an ass." Sam's voice was muffled through the kitchen door.

"It's fine. I wasn't expecting a heartwarming welcome. I mean, come on, I'm practically a stranger to her. And it's hard on her too, Sam. Remember she's struggling too."

Tara would have felt mad if anyone else had said this, as if they pitied her and felt sorry for her state of mind. But hearing those words, those words in Y/N's sweet voice...felt like reassurance that someone understand how she'd been struggling.

"I know...I'm trying to get her to...connect. Y'know? Re-enforce those bonds...god, you two were like peas in a pod. I can't imagine how long it'll take for that to be back, especially with her new...attitude." Sam sounded empathetic, but there was still a twinge of annoyance in her voice.

"I'm not expecting it to just click again...but I can wait. I'm assuming you haven't told her?" Y/N asked.

Tara could feel her heart beat a little faster. Was this it? Was she about to learn what this secret was that everyone seemed so desperate to avoid?

"No. I don't feel like it's the right time. I mean, you see the way she is. Putting that much more pressure on her is bound to do no good."

"You have to tell her at some point." Y/N said. "You and her would both prefer you telling her rather then her randomly learning one day, or even worse, getting a flash of memory from it. The doctor did say those happen, especially with traumatic experiences, at least in her case."

"I don't feel like now is the right time."

"Soon, Sam. Please. The girl deserves to know. This is important."

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I'm a slut for comments people.

#jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter

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mariii1 · 7 months

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( ʃƪ˘ﻬ˘)(˘ ε˘ʃƪ) What's your sexuality (like)? 18+ (´ε｀ )♡

..........sooo i need to get out of the pattern of making time based promises, I've lied every damn time 😭😭 We'll see when the next pac will come out since im probably gonna do a lot more choices. Let me know if this resonated!

1. There might be something taboo you're holding back. You might not have delved a lot into your sexuality which isn't inherently bad but there might be a specific part you feel ashamed about. For some you this is about a fetish or your orientation for others its just shame that comes from purity culture/r@pe culture. To get rid of this is different for most, for a lot of you time and gaining more experience in life in general will help you feel more comfotable and for others you may need to take a more active role in getting rid of your conditioning. Y'all might be like me where your into our want to get into fetishgear like latex and maybe want to learn bondage but you may feel isolated in who to talk to and where to go. Getting past these anxious thoughts and actually doing your research is what's gonna help you, you might be procrastinating on this because of your own internal conflict.

2. Lord have mercy...You DO NOT want a romantic relationship or a family 😭😭 its coming through stroonnggly. I think some of y'all could be aro and don't know it. People might've told you you're cold hearted or weird for not wanting to date. For some this is toxic because you don't communicate that you don't want romance to people, which ya needa start if you don't. Yeah some of you in this group might have problems being honest either with yourself or other people. There may be pressure to fit in when there's no real harm if you don't, in this case at least. A lot of you don't believe in traditional relationships or just have no desire for romance. A lot of you are planning to be childless when you're older and if you're thinking about getting sterilized, it might be something to start thinking about seriously.

3. Oooohhh someone KNOWS fr what they want. You have this huge boundary and expectations of what you want and this couod for anything: hooking up, sex with a partner, casual dating, etc. Because of this though you might not have been in a relationship for a very long time. You're very headstrong about this and want a fair and equal relationship. I'm specifically getting a lot of femmes in this pile who are fed up with cis men. I don't have any other comments for you, you seem set in this mindset and if its working for you, great! 👍🏽

4. Me 😜 JK tbh i might be your type for some of y'all the same way I think Che Guevara is finee😩 I'm also getting hopeless romantic from this pile but ive never seen that stereotype as something positive and I feel like in this case you guys pine after people a lot but don't try to make any moves. I feel like you could have multiple crushes currently ir multiple ppl u got ur eye on but you haven't even said hi or anything to them yet. As a fellow introvert and someone who's just starting to try to make friends I get it, but it's time to get out of this mindset and just make the first move even if ppl don't like you or they don't turn out as great as you thought.

Rainbow divider @enchanthings

#pick a card #tarot #pick a pile #queer tarot #tarot reading #pac #love tarot reading #pride

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

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It’s me I’m back with Lesson 34 spoilers below. (including the hard lesson)

I always try to write these posts shortly after finishing the lesson so that it’s like… my immediate and unfiltered thoughts lol. Sometimes I change my mind about stuff after I see other people’s interpretations of things. So if you were wondering why I’m taking the time to write this at 2 am, that’s why. I totally forgot about the lesson during the day due to the whole Thanksgiving thing.

ANYWAY.

I feel like we got SO MUCH BARB in this lesson?? He was barely in it. But we had other characters talking about him and that honestly makes me happy, too. Probably because I like when they give us some perspective into his character.

BUT FIRST.

Belphie. We were actually playing the role of Lilith in his little Celestial Realm dream sequence, right? And then at the end it’s all but we’re not siblings.

Listen. I just think that Belphie has a lot of unresolved trauma surrounding Lilith and I really don’t feel like having MC play hide-and-seek with him in a dream is going to be enough to help him move past it. Enough to make him want to help MC? Maybe. But I dunno.

However, I also think I probably shouldn’t expect anything more intense than that from an otome game. They were just trying to give us SOMETHING to explain why he was cool with making a pact.

WHICH WE FINALLY DID. With Beel, Belphie, AND Levi. I get Beel & Belphie doing theirs at the same time, but I’m still a little baffled about why Levi waited so long. There probably isn’t a reason, but who knows maybe they’ll surprise us with something lol.

Ah. Lucifer.

This was my favorite part:

I love Mammon, he always just says exactly what he’s thinking (unless it’s how much he loves MC lol).

But we all knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, right? We knew Lucifer would be last. We knew that Lucifer would be the most difficult one to make a pact with. Remember what happened with him last time? Of course he doesn’t want to make a pact with us now. We’re likely going to be going through some kind of long drawn out drama that will eventually lead to Lucifer giving in and making a pact with us.

However, I found both Solomon’s and Diavolo’s reactions to this absolutely hilarious:

Can the two of you take this seriously, please?? I know you both find Lucifer highly entertaining and yeah, I'm usually laughing at him most of the time, too, but I need that pact to get back to where I'm from, thanks.

But we’re only on Lesson 34. So I think we still have plenty of time to make a pact with Lucifer, learn the truth about Nightbringer, and return to our timeline (or have the timelines merge or whatever nonsense they’re gonna do).

I’m still hoping for all that to get resolved by the end of this season lol.

Now, I found this exchange from Belphie’s Celestial Realm shenanigans especially interesting:

Assuming this is accurate to what actually happened when Lucifer was still an angel, this means that the angels knew Barbatos. They know him by name, they clearly think he’s a big deal, and they’re surprised that he’s agreed to be Diavolo’s butler.

I was always under the impression that the demons and the angels didn’t really know much about each other. But now I’m wondering if maybe Barbatos had something to do with the end of the war that happened before the Celestial War. The one that was between the Celestial Realm and the Devildom. I have no reason for thinking this other than the fact that as angels, Lucifer & Simeon clearly know him. And what else would they know him from? Though I suppose anything could have happened lol.

And then there was all of this:

What does it MEAN?! (Obviously I chose the second option for MC's dialogue, which increased Barb's intimacy.)

Barbatos my true love. Why did you give MC a real piece of paper from your grimoire? He’s always been cautious, always keeping MC at arm’s length, and now all of a sudden it’s here’s a piece of my grimoire? There is NO WAY he doesn’t have all of the build up from the OG. I can’t believe that he would actually give MC a piece of his grimoire if he had only just met them at the beginning of Nightbringer. So I’m tacking this on as additional evidence that Barb knows all.

Also can we just appreciate Lucifer in 32-A? All his brothers are completely out of it and he single-handedly motivates every one of them back into action.

It sure worked, huh? Do you think the credit card is in the freezer yet?

You guys. THE HARD LESSON.

It was everything. I LOVE the Little Ds. I LOVE them hanging out with Diavolo. I LOVE that Barbatos couldn’t accompany MC because Diavolo requested some fancy human world dish. This entire hard lesson was *chef’s kiss*

GOD I love Barb's knowing look and Dia's little frown. I love them so much it's almost painful lol.

Okay that’s all I’ve got to say about this lesson. In general, I enjoyed it. They coulda played up Belphie’s yandere tendencies a bit more. I felt like his change of heart was rather rushed, but they really can’t put him through the therapy he needs. I don’t think the lessons are long enough for that.

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heartsofminds · 2 years

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Blooming (II)

So instead he settles for an affectionate squeeze to the right side of her face with his palm. “I wish you weren’t so young.” or Bradley Bradshaw is emotionally immature and he knows it, but she just wants to kiss him.

Warning: Contains curse words, a failed age-gapped relationship, and sexual connotations. 18+ readers, only.

A/N: Welcome to part two of my new series, Blooming. Here we learn about Rooster and Hangman’s past and his lack of emotional stability. Stay awhile, and enjoy 9.1k words in honor of our favorite aviator’s birthday.

Read Blooming and Blooming III here.

Bradley knows he has a temper.

One that makes his face hot and his chest flush a deep pink. His ears are always scarlet and the vein in the side of his neck attempts to become four-dimensional. The voices of everyone around him become muffled and he breathes deeply through his nose. His view of his immediate surroundings becomes blurred; almost as if he’s underwater and opening his eyes without goggles.

And although Bradley knows he has a horrible temper, he also knows that he desperately needs to work on keeping it in check. It’s been a long time since he’s blown up. It’s been an even longer time since he’s felt so angry that he couldn’t breathe; his lungs feeling crushed and like he’s up in the air with no oxygen.

He doesn’t know who he inherited his short fuse from. His mother was the most patient and kindhearted woman on Earth and his father, from what he had been told, was an oddball who was so obnoxiously goofy that nothing would ever be taken seriously enough by him to set him off in such a volatile way.

And then there was Bradley.

Bradley Bradshaw, who already had a chip on his shoulder from his father’s reputation, his mother’s death, and the fact that his beloved godfather didn’t believe in him enough to hold his own that he pulled his papers from the Academy the first time he applied and refused to acknowledge why Bradley was so pissed at what he had done.

So that’s how he found himself in a class with people younger than him, literal infants in his humble opinion, and was embarrassed knowing that he stuck out the minute someone asked him how old he is.

He made friends there, of course. He even had himself something sort of a girlfriend too. Her name was Tanner, and she was a knockout; tan skin and curly red hair with freckles that dotted her skin like how craters kiss the moon. But she was only nineteen and here he was at twenty-four; hopelessly in love with her and treading in the dangerous waters of knowing that their relationship was going to inevitably end. Mostly because they lived in such different worlds.

Venus always looks close to Mercury until you realize that they orbit at different speeds.

And despite it all, he was ready to bite the bullet for her. He was ready to settle down the minute she said: “Go.” He was ready to do any and everything she wanted if she just as much as felt the need to ask him. She was his everything because he had nothing and he knew it was a dangerous game to be playing; putting all that trust and responsibility in a person, let alone a nineteen-year-old girl. But Bradley pushed this fear aside and realized that this was his new normal. With his mom dead and Maverick out of the picture, she was the sole proprietor of his grounding and he assumed that he would be her’s as well.

Bradley knew that he liked being comfortable and because he loved this girl so much, he was willing to swim in a sea of unknowns and discomfort. It was uncharted territory but it couldn’t be so bad. And boy, how that came back to bite him in the ass.

While he did trust her fully (well, three-quarters of the way if you were to be exact), Rooster knew that they probably were not on the same page. Reading the same book? Yes. On the same page? Maybe sometimes, but definitely not reading the same paragraph and he’s for certain they’re not comprehending any of the words the same way.

He knew she was young and still in college, a breeding ground for meaningless hookups and boozy frat parties, but he never wanted to be too controlling. He had seen enough of that bullshit in his fellow midshipmen. He had witnessed the kicking of walls when their significant others pissed them off or even the disgusting “locker room talk” that he assumed all guys grew out of after they graduated high school. But with each “Her tits are huge!” and “God damn I’d do anything to fuck her!”’s he hears when getting dressed after an intense training session, he realizes that a lot of the people he’s around are still boys and teenaged ones, at that.

And then the realization clicks again that man, sometimes it fucking sucks being so old.

But despite it all, Bradley knew that he wasn’t in control of her and couldn’t make himself have the heart to if he tried. So he didn’t loom over her the way that he would’ve liked to sometimes and understandably, he did get rather jealous every now and then. And he was working on being more open and communicating what he’s feeling when he’s feeling it or whatever his friend Phoenix was always on about when he came to her with relationship troubles.

While Phoenix’s advice did work and he had admitted to himself that the female pilot is more emotionally intelligent and sensitive than she ever let on, the fights and disagreements still happened despite him using her tactics. Sometimes he would find himself shouting hurtful things at her or refusing to speak whenever she was attempting to rile him up so he would yell at Tanner. She had told him once during a late night pillow talking session that she picked fights with him so she would have some reason to actually be mad at him.

But whenever he felt his cheeks get hot and his ears turn red while arguing with her about spending too much time with one of her male friends (for what feels like the eightieth time in the nine months they had been dating), Rooster remembered that he was yelling at a nineteen-year-old girl, with turquoise bedsheets and fairy lights all around him in a shitty dorm room with a nosy roommate on the other side of the door.

So while Bradley does have a temper, he learned rather quickly when to pick his battles. He took deep breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth. He clenched his fists at his sides and closed his eyes. His thumb rubbed circular motions over his pointer fingers and he would picture his mom’s face, bleach blonde hair, and ocean blue eyes giving him a soft smile and saying, “You’re alright! Just calm down, babycakes.”

When he would get like that he would always think of what his mom would do and he knew that his mother was the kindest woman in history and that she raised him well. He would always see women as an extension of themselves and not an extension of him.

Girls have their own brains and own consciousnesses and own sets of morals. Bradley recognized that keeping his unwarranted thoughts to himself was easier than letting them out and causing an F6 tornado of problems that were just a poor projection of his own unhealed trauma and insecurities.

And while this along with Phoenix’s pep talks helped him be the best man and boyfriend he thought he could manage to be at the ripe age of twenty-four, Rooster realized that he had some shortcomings and that he kept failing to realize one thing: That not every girl he’s with is meant to be his.

One thing that routinely had Rooster seeing red regardless of how much self-soothing or how much he tried to focus on his mother’s voice in the back of his head is whenever Tanner would visit him on base.

Jake Seresin was not shy in the slightest and Bradley was (and still definitely is) convinced that God put him on this Earth to see if he had a hidden brain aneurysm because he’s sure one will erupt from how much stress the blond regularly puts him through. And yeah, Hangman’s annoying, and yes, Rooster is definitely not one of his biggest fans, but his girlfriend’s wandering eyes on the younger pilot wasn’t Jake’s fault in the slightest. But since he can’t force himself to be angry with Tanner, he settled for directing his anger towards Hangman and God, did that make his blood boil.

He had already brought it up to her numerous times before; telling her that he wasn’t trying to be a dick or prove that he was an Alpha male. Just that the idea that she always seemed more intrigued in what Jake had to say or was doing whenever she comes around bothers him like no other. Of course, that started a screaming match with her face as red as a tomato and his breathing resembling that of a woman experiencing contractions, but he had thought they worked it out.

Well, shit, the make-up sex they had after was enough of an agreement, he had thought, but obviously not because it was happened again and this time, it was enough to make Bradley lose it entirely.

Bradley knew that their relationship was probably coming to a close soon. He had a sixth sense for these kinds of things and he didn’t know if his intuition was really strong or if he just had a propensity to worry himself to death, but he felt like he could always tell when people’s feelings about him had shifted.

Well that, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Tanner was losing interest. She didn’t remember the small things he had told her in passing like she used to and she never divulged much into her daily life with him over the phone anymore. She always sounded tired. Bored, even, and he couldn’t tell if she was bored of the conversation or bored of him.

He chose to ignore it. He chose to ignore the sounds of unfamiliar voices in the back of their phone calls. He chose to ignore the fake interest she had while giving him the little reactions people usually have when you’re talking to them. He had caught her a few times laughing at morbid things he would say, which proved his theory that she was hearing him but never really listening. He chose to ignore the fact that she never told him she missed him anymore or that all the letters she would send would be signed with her name neatly at the bottom.

She clearly had surpassed the need to declare her love for him with a comma following her signature on a piece of stationery paper.

Bradley chose to ignore all of this because living in denial is always better than having the burden of proof thrown in your face for you to forcefully accept it.

So as a last-ditch effort to mend the relationship before biting the bullet and calling it quits with her, he invited her to the base to visit him. He made a deal with himself; if it went well, he would leave it alone but if she seemed like she’d rather be strangled with barbed wire than be there with him, he would let her go.

When Tanner arrived, it was all butterflies and rainbows. She engulfed him in a hug and kissed his face like crazy. He didn’t remember her being such a fan of lipgloss when he had seen her two months prior, but he figures a lot can change about someone when you very rarely see them. So when she laid sticky cherry flavored kisses on his cheeks and neck, he didn’t question her on it and relished in the fact that she was there with him and that maybe, quite possibly, she was still in love and that this was it for him.

She’s eager to hold his hand and to listen to his stories about whatever bullshit he has going on at the moment. She even gives him a rundown of her current friend group at college and what drama is brewing between whichever group of people and how she found out about it and what she intends to do to prevent things from getting so insanely messy.

She’s basically glued to his hip the entire weekend. Her hand is always twisting their fingers together and the band of her purity ring (which has definitely been rendered useless since she’s been dating Bradley) rubs against the junction between Bradley’s thumb and pointer finger and fits like a cog in a wheel; as if it had always belonged there. She smiles sweetly at him, and he has her full attention whenever he speaks or walks into a room.

When Tanner asks to use the bathroom and insists that she can find it herself without his help, Bradley doesn't think anything of it. She’s a big girl and as much as he wanted to go with her so he could soak up every second of the limited time they had together, he had to be laissez-faire. He couldn’t control her and he knew that lurking around every corner would make her feel like a child.

So Bradley settled on passing the time by sitting down and relaxing. He leaned forward slightly, his elbows rested on his knees and his legs were spread enough to be proportionate with his torso. He tapped his feet, drummed his fingers on his legs, and fiddled with his watch. He knew that she was a slow walker with zero sense of urgency to her. There were some exceptions to that; those only being if she was running late for class and she had an exam that specific period or if she was horny beyond belief and was begging him to “fuck the shit” out of her on a shitty ass college dorm mattress.

It didn’t seem weird that fifteen minutes had passed and there was still no sign of her. As a means to prevent himself from worrying to death or pacing around the base like a fucking lunatic, Bradley decided to busy his mind by going over his ever-growing “to-do” list that he kept in the back of his head.

Despite all the mundane tasks and intrusive and borderline obnoxious thoughts he had going a mile a minute in his brain, Bradley was surprisingly an organized thinker when it came to remembering all the things that he had to do. He carefully sifted through his responsibilities and assigned them blocks of time and where they would fit in his day before he checked his watch again and realized that an entire forty minutes had passed since he had last seen his girlfriend.

Something was off, and the familiar impending pit of doom that often plagued his stomach made a reappearance as he sped walked up and down the hallways of the base.

She’s fine, right? The base is huge and she’s terrible with directions so she may have just gotten lost, right? And figured that he would come looking for her, right? She’s fine. She had to be.

And when Bradley rounded a corner and was met with a supply closet at a dead end, he paused at a loud thump that followed a high-pitched moan.

“Oh God!” he heard a breathy squeak from a female voice, “Harder, daddy. Please, I’ve been so good!”

The pit in Rooster’s stomach turned into a ball of fire. He recognized that wheezy gasp anywhere. Hell, he had heard it two nights ago when he had her face down in the backseat of her 2002 Ford Focus.

He should be the only person eliciting those kinds of sounds from her. He had a death wish for whoever was on the other side of that metal door, because one thing about Bradley Bradshaw was that you never messed with anything that was his.

Rooster kicked open the door with his fists clenched to his side. He knew his ears were bright red and he felt himself starting to sweat bullets through his uniform shirt. The anger was hot as hell, and if he was in a better mood, he would make the joke that hell was right in front of him.

Her blouse was unbuttoned and it's been shifted over to one side of her chest, her nipple poking out through the gaped hole the button was supposed to secure. Her bra had long been taken off of her and the denim shorts she had worn to the base are hanging off of a random filing cabinet that was stored in there; showing that they were taken off in a frenzy.

And low and behold, the man of his disdain (even more so now than ever before) was in front of her, hoisting her up around his waist and fucking into her relentlessly. His uniform top was unbuttoned and his slacks were limp around his hips.

The sudden kick of the door opening did little to interrupt them, but Jake noticed Bradley standing in front of them; a damn near homicidal gleam in his eye and his entire body flushed pink with red hot anger. And like the asshole that Hangman is, he sent him a smirk and a wink before leaning forward to suck a hickey behind the redhead's ear.

“You son of a bitch!” Bradley screeched, “I’ll fucking kill you!”

He barreled his way into the small and rather dingy supply closet. Bradley grabbed Jake by the collar of his shirt and pushed him into the wall. Jake sputtered a cough; the wind knocked completely out of him.

His girlfriend (or soon-to-be ex-girlfriend, really) shrieked and gawked her eyes in horror at the scene taking place in front of her. Bradley wasn’t supposed to find them, and he wasn’t supposed to know that the reason for their break up was because she was unfaithfully faithfully fucking another man.

Tanner buttoned her blouse as fast as she could and pushed her denim shorts up her legs speedily. She had been embarrassed and ashamed before, but this was a whole new level. Not only had she been caught red-handed, but caught doing something dirty and quite possibly something illegal.

Hangman had finally caught his breath. His blue eyes gazed up at Rooster with a gleam of mischief. He knew that there was no way for him to charm himself out of this one, and if he was gonna get his ass beat, the least he could do was have some fun with it.

Jake sits up, tightening his belt his head, a smirk still on his face as he pulls up his pants and tightens his belt. “Oh look, it’s Chicken,” he scoffs, “I mean Rooster. How are you, man?”

Bradley seethed with rage. His fist went straight to Jake’s eye, the impact making the blond pilot stumble back a bit. Jake had to admit, Bradley was one strong mother fucker and his eye swelling shut definitely proved his realization right.

Bradley paused, trying to calm his breathing a bit before speaking. He knew that if he didn’t get himself under control, he may actually fucking murder Jake Seresin and although that wouldn’t be half bad, he worked too goddamn hard to get kicked out of the Navy and face criminal charges on the base.

His ears were still glowing red and his breathing even heavier than before. Tanner stood in the doorway of the supply closet in shock and utter panic.

“Ooh, you’re lucky you didn’t get my good side, Bradshaw,” Jake taunted, “But I’m sure Tan over there thinks every side is my good side. Don’t ya, baby?”

And oh shit, Jacob Michael Seresin did have a fucking death wish and in that moment, it was evident that he really didn’t give a fuck what Bradley could do to him. Any opportunity to get underneath Bradshaw’s skin was a golden one, and Jake just couldn’t bring himself to not be an asshole.

And oh, how Bradley fucking hated that. He grabbed the blond pilot by the collar and yanks him up to stand. He was too angry to speak. Shit, his brain was so fried from all the heat his body was exuding that he couldn’t even begin to think of words to put into sentences that would even make any fucking sense.

“Bradley, stop! Let him go!” Tanner yelled, and all of his senses in his body are turned off except for his tunnel vision sight and his sense of touch. That was made unmistakably apparent as each blow delivered to Hangman’s face and torso kept coming and coming and coming.

Jake’s face was black and blue and he’s sure he has baseball sized bruises all up and down his upper body, but he didn’t care. He finally had another missile to add to his arsenal of things to fuck with Bradley’s head. The result of that alone outweighed the healing time he would need.

Eventually, a commander walks by and pulls Rooster off of Hangman, and that was how he and Jake and Tanner all found themselves outside of Admiral Gadson’s office to tell their accounts of why Tanner’s bra was in the hallway and why Bradley’s face was beet red and why Jake’s right eye was swollen beyond belief.

Rooster sat straight up and looked ahead, choosing to ignore the sounds of Tanner and Jake’s hushed conversation beside him.

So that’s how Rooster found himself on garbage duty (”indefinitely”, Admiral Gadson had said, but he liked the kid and felt bad for him, so really, he said it meaning two weeks) and with no girlfriend.

And yeah, Bradley Bradshaw definitely had a temper and was definitely naive. And as he’s picking up orange peels and scrubbing dried piss off of toilet bowls, he made note of two things: One, he desperately needed to keep his temper in check and two, he would never make the same mistake to trust a young girl like that ever again.

Man, does it fucking suck being so fucking old.

ii.

(Y/N)’s body is on fire.

She’s not particularly hot, per se, but she most certainly is flustered. And for once, the source of her panic isn’t from a deadline or an application or some bill she had to have transferred over from her college apartment to the new one she would be living in come fall semester for law school.

No, (Y/N) is on fire because of the sandy-haired pilot beneath her right now.

Bradley Bradshaw’s old Bronco was a lot roomier than she ever anticipated it being, but then again, she wasn’t that great with dimensions (Damn you, astigmatisms.) and she wasn’t big on cars or motorcycles or boats or planes or anything that supplied humans with transportation, really.

She had just been responsible for closing the Hard Deck by herself again and like clockwork, the handsome aviator wandered his way inside to tell her about how he had misplaced his sunglasses and despite the fact that they were closed, he just had to find them tonight.

(Y/N) knew it was a ploy for him to get to talk to her alone. The mischievous glint in his eye when the words came out of his mouth told her so and besides, his beloved aviator shades were practically glued to his face. So how the hell did he manage to lose them?

“Crazy how they’re basically glued to your damn head and you managed to lose them,” (Y/N) teases, rounding out from behind the bar to help Bradley search for the glasses, ”How the hell are you a pilot? Get lost often, too?”

Rooster shakes his head, his gaze falling on the floor and his hands finding the sanctuary of his front pockets. The smile on his face gives his true intentions away, but he’s unaware that (Y/N) notices this.

“Directions are different than placement,” he jokes, “I do happen to be smarter than a fifth-grader, you know.”

The joke sits in the air for a few seconds before (Y/N) realizes that she has a stupid grin on her face and that damn, he looks really good in the lighting of Hard Deck.

“Obviously not because you can’t do simple math,” she chides, “I’m twenty-one. Not ten, jackass.”

“Hmm,” he leans on the side of the bar top with a smug look on his face, “Couldn’t tell. That baby face of yours says otherwise. I think it’s the dimples.”

She scoffs and puts her hand to her chest. “Jesus, Bradshaw. Weren’t you just trying to take me out on a date last week? Now I’m in fifth grade?” she starts looking around the bar floor for his sunglasses, “Seems pretty fucked up for a Navy man, don’t you think?”

“Pretty fucked up that you know I’m in the Navy and have a rank but refuse to use it when you address me,” Rooster quips. He starts to look on the floor of the booths near the area (Y/N) is searching.

(Y/N) stands up straight and crosses her arms. She takes a deep breath before approaching Bradley, putting a hand on his chest and giving him her doe eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Lieutenant Bradshaw,” she adds extra thirst to her tone, ” How could I ever can I make it up to you? I’m just so young that I don’t know any better.”

Bradley grins and takes (Y/N)’s hand on his chest in his and entangles their fingers. He looks down at their conjoined hands, his pointer finger running across her newly obtained class ring.

His tongue comes out to lick at his bottom lip before his gaze shifts from their hands to (Y/N)’s face.

“I can think of a few things.”

He reaches up to grab the side of her face and pulls her in for a kiss. It’s soft, sweet even. It reminds her of how grooms kiss their brides during their wedding ceremonies. His lips are soft and plush, she thinks, and that was the best goddamn kiss she’s ever had in her entire life.

(Y/N) detaches their lips and reaches up, taking both of her arms and looping them around Bradley’s neck. His hands move to her waist and he leans down to kiss her once more. This time he deepens it. The kisses are still soft and on target, never leaving her lips once at all. He’s not messy or miscalculated. It’s almost eerie, how his kisses are deep and starting to get rough but yet he was still thoughtful and delicate with her.

His tongue swipes against (Y/N)’s top lip, and she opens her mouth to let it enter. (Y/N)’s not super experienced. She’s only ever kissed her college ex-boyfriend like this and they had broken up the summer going into her Junior year so it’s safe to say that it’s been a while.

The sparkle in both of their eyes says the same thing, and she’s taking his hand in hers and leading him out of the front door of Hard Deck. He hugs her from behind as she struggles to lock the door, the kisses he’s planting on her neck making her giggle and lose focus.

“Stop it, Bradshaw,” she says between laughs, ‘Penny’ll kill me if this door doesn’t get locked which means you can’t keep coming back to get me alone because I won’t be allowed to close by myself again.”

Rooster giggles into her neck, his chuckle and the hairs from his mustache tickling her neck.

“I bet I could sweet talk her,” he says, landing another kiss on the dip of skin just behind her earlobe, “She doesn’t call me sweet pea, for nothin’.”

(Y/N) turns around and kisses him on the lips. “You stole my nickname, you fucker, so matter of fact, maybe I won’t lock the door because you can’t be trusted anymore.”

Rooster brings her face closer to his again. His teeth tug on her bottom lip, not hard enough to draw blood but hard enough to make her wince.

“She was my aunt before she was yours,” he says, lips grazing over hers, “Remember to respect your elders, chick.”

“Well if you’re going off of that guise, I’m not sure how Penny would feel watching us make out in front of the door when she watches the cameras back tomorrow morning.”

(Y/N)’s statement makes Rooster back up and embarrassment washes over his face. (Y/N) had only ever seen the pilot with a smirk on his face; confidence and glee the primary emotions energizing his expression. To see him embarrassed was a sight for sore eyes.

“Let’s move our transaction to my car, hmm?” he asks, hands finding her hips. (Y/N) nods eagerly and Bradley takes her to the beloved 1977 baby blue Ford Bronco that he had inherited from his father when he had turned sixteen many moons ago.

He opens the passenger door for her before walking to the driver’s side. (Y/N) climbs in and shuts it, and the soft sound of metal falling on the floor of the car can be heard. She cranes her neck and moves her knees to the side to retrieve whatever had fallen from the force of the door closing.

And fuck, Bradley Bradshaw was either blind or a liar because low and behold, his “lost” sunglasses are in her hand.

He shuts the door to his side of the vehicle and a small smile is on his face. He doesn’t turn to face her just yet. He knows that she’s found them and if he’s starting to figure her out as well as he thinks he is, he knows that her voice will be pipping up from the right side of his car in three, two, one-

“You know, if you wanted to make out with me, Bradshaw you could’ve just asked,” she says, placing the aviators in his cupholder, “I’m not a floozy, but I wouldn’t have said no to you.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he asks, turning to face her head-on, “And I don’t think you’re a floozy, baby. If so, only for me, right?”

He gives her a smile and the inky blue of the California night sky paints a mural for her eyes. She never thought she would be into pilots, let alone older men, but yet, here she is in the passenger seat of a Ford Bronco, trying to debate if she should leave him hanging and only make out with him, or go all the way.

He’s so damn fit and such a good kisser. The way he looks at her makes her mouth water and the way he teases her makes her so fucking wet. The ball is in her court and the hard part isn’t playing, but deciding when to start.

(Y/N) leans over to kiss him again and this time, she grabs his face with both hands. There’s a warmth in the pit of her stomach and a hunger in her eyes. Bradley reclines his seat with one hand and guides her over to straddle his lap with the other.

He thought he was way past the need for messy sex in the driver’s seat of his car, but you can never set expectations without some minor setback now, can you?

(Y/N) is so goddamn horny and ready for him. She can’t remember being this desperate for anyone, really, and of course, she’s had sex before but she never remembers it being exceptionally good. It was just okay enough to get by and she always figured that she had enough time to have all the mind-blowing sex in the world the older she got. She was only twenty-one now, for fucks sake.

Bradley’s as hard as a fucking rock and he doesn’t know if it’s the adrenaline pumping through his veins at fucking in the parking lot of such a popular place or if it’s exciting because he has a knockout sitting in his lap, her clothed cunt (that he knows has to be absolutely soaked for him) grinding like hell over his growing erection.

He’s not been this horny since high school and if he was in a clearer state of mind (and maybe a better man too, he thinks) he would’ve opted to have taken her to dinner and then back to his place. At least there he had a bed and a couch they could fuck like rabbits on. Both pieces of furniture are government property technically, but then again, so is he until his service duty is up, so what even is the big deal?

“Fuck, chick,” he breathes, grabbing her hips to push her down on his hardened clothed cock even more, “You’re such a good kisser.”

She giggles into his mouth and fuck, he’s a goner.

‘Yeah?” she asks, grinding herself even more onto his erection. She lets out a small moan (one that she thought Bradley couldn’t hear but his slight chuckle of amusement lets her know that she’s been caught) as the layers separating her bare pussy from his denim-clad package catches on her clit just right.

“Yeah, baby. You’re a fucking knockout.”

This makes her smile even more. Their kisses are sloppy now, the constant grinding crafting a veil of ecstasy around them both.

“(Y/N)?” he asks. His fingers unbutton her shorts and starts to slide them down her legs.

“Yeah?” she answers. Her cut-offs are completely off her legs and on the floor near Bradley’s feet. The lilac-colored panties she had on were completely soaked where her weepy hole sat.

If it was under any other circumstance or with any other person, she would find herself flushing pink and attempting to hide her face in her hands. But her arousal and also the fact that she feels so secure in what Bradley is doing with her prevents that.

“Are you awake?” he asks.

She doesn’t answer him, just continues to move her hips in circles in his lap. Her head is thrown back and the pressure and slight burn his jeans are providing her hardened clit feels like a slice of heaven.

“Sweet pea? Are you awake?” he asks again, but this time, his voice doesn’t sound like his.

It’s too high pitched; too womanly.

“What the fuck?” she questions and then she hears it again, and the view of her surroundings starts to blur and everything starts to fade.

She’s completely pantless standing in a sea of black and then she hears it again.

“(Y/N )? I’m headed out. Text me if you need anything!” and she recognizes it as her godmother’s voice. And then it clicks, and holy hell, the idea of Penny finding her like this terrifies her.

(Y/N) shoots up in her bed, the sleep shirt she had worn completely soaked through with sweat.

“Jesus Christ,” she sighs to herself, palms rubbing at her eyes to help process what the actual fuck just happened.

And as she stands in the shower with the cold water running and the sunlight shining through the stained glass window Penny had in her guest bathroom, she feels ashamed.

She just had a wet dream about Bradley Bradshaw like a fucking teenager and shit, maybe he was right. She was too young for him to take her out.

iii.

Bradley was always surprisingly nervous.

As a pilot, he was a total adrenaline junkie and small things that make his heart race satiate him enough to get through the day. He was naturally inclined to panic but every time his stomach dropped or he felt like his heart would stop from how hard the muscle was pumping, it filled him with a sense of euphoria.

Pilots can’t be nervous wrecks. Especially naval pilots, and that was a lesson he had learned rather early. He picked this up through recounts of his Uncle Mav and Uncle Ice’s stories when they would be in charge of watching him while his mom worked the night shift. The mission impossible-like stories replaced his bedtime stories when his mom wasn’t home and Bradley never had the heart to tell her, but he would rather listen to Maverick and Iceman before he ever heard her rendition of “Goodnight, Moon” ever again.

But one thing was sure and that one thing stuck with him forever. Pilots can’t be nervous. Getting nervous would get you killed; whether that be shot down, captured, or ejected from your aircraft was up to the pilot and the cockpit was already small enough as is. There is absolutely no room for such a large feeling like nervousness.

So his entire life up to this point at thirty-five years old, he always found a way to dodge his nervousness. Is it healthy? Not really. Does it help? Well, not really either but he doesn’t really have much of a choice now.

Wanting to ask a girl he liked out on a date? Oh, the fast beating of his heart when he approached her wasn’t nerves, it was just because he liked her so much. She thought that him saying his heart “Beats louder for you because it wants you to hear how much you mean to me,” was endearing and Bradley knew he was lying and he was literally about to shit himself from the anxiety looming in his chest.

He was the starting pitcher for the boy’s high school state game? He wasn’t nervous, just excited, he would say even though the blown look of his pupils and the gnarly sweat stains near his armpits told everyone else otherwise.

He was getting ready for his promotion to Junior Lieutenant and had to be absolutely perfect and could not afford to fuck up under any circumstances? Bradley wasn’t nervous. He was just so undeniably ready to work his way up the ranks. But really, his palms were so goddamn sweaty he’s sure that he grossed out two Captains and one Admiral when he went to shake their hands.

And there are so many other instances that he could name and correct his nervousness for another feeling, perhaps.

Unbeknownst to him, Rooster Bradshaw never really knew that thinking about his feelings this way was unhealthy and was probably (well definitely, really) preventing him from being a fully emotionally intelligent man the way his mother would have liked him to be.

So no, Bradley Bradshaw didn’t get nervous per se but when the dark-haired pilot walks into a room filled with twelve of the best naval fighter pilots in the nation, he’s alarmed. Bradley is competitive, no doubt about that, but at the end of the day he can’t help but remain the team player his parents had raised him to be.

His “no man left behind” mentality had gotten him caught up numerous times before and his need to ensure that everything was fair made him known to be a stickler.

But is he nervous? Hell no. Just slightly worried; scared, even because when the nation’s best is sitting in a squad room with their flight suits on and no information about what was going on, whatever was to come had to be huge; even bigger than all their egos totaled together.

Hangman makes some shitty joke about Bob’s glasses; something along the lines of “four eyes” and how the Navy doesn’t need satellite cameras to spy on people. They could just look through Bob’s glasses and see all that they need to see.

It earns a few chuckles from the other pilots sitting around and even if Rooster was itching to talk or do something to occupy his mind, he absolutely refused to acknowledge Jake Seresin more than what was necessary.

Phoenix walks to her seat and “trips” on Hangman’s chair, tugging the leg back not enough to pull him out from under completely, but enough to startle him and make him choke on the words he was fixing to leave his mouth.

Everyone chuckles a bit before they’re made aware of Admirals Simpson and Bates coming to speak to them. Bradley straightens up in his seat. He was always so painfully self-aware and he didn’t need something else to pick apart about the interactions he had had today while he lays in bed at night.

They’re given the run down of why they’re all there which, in Rooster’s mind, is always the same.

They get told how talented they are and how well they perform in their roles. It’s always one big confidence boost before getting pushed off the cliff to the reality of the situation. Because they’re so good they’re going to be shipped off to play mission impossible, and because it’s mission impossible, there’s an even larger chance that they won’t make it back alive.

Rooster’s had at least twelve of these talks in the last ten years he’s been flying and before, the thought of being up in the air, unaware if clouds and a blue sky were the last things he would ever see scared him.

But then he kept making it back and he kept getting “invited” (more like ordered) to carry out more prestigious and dangerous missions. So no, Rooster isn’t nervous at all. There’s nothing new to the expectations he and his fellow pilots are under. The word “curveball” ceases to exist in the Navy’s vocabulary, anyway.

And as much as he tries to be respectful and attentive, his mind starts to wander and the evasive thoughts that he usually has take precedence over what’s currently unfolding in front of him.

He looks the Admirals in the eye, but little did they know that his mind was far from the pupils of the respected Navy men in front of him.

It’s not until he hears the word that he freezes. His heart stops. His blood runs cold. His ears start to glow red and he has to flex his fingers on both hands repeatedly to keep it together. He’s not felt like this since high school when he had to give his Valedictorian speech.

“Maverick.”

He didn’t know that the word alone would make his blood run cold, but it does.

It’s then when he realizes that fuck, he should’ve allowed himself to feel nervous every once in a while because he’s not even sure what feeling he’s feeling right now is even called.

He’s scared. He’s angry. He’s hurt. He’s saddened. He’s resentful, and he guesses that all of this can be added up and made to equal out to simply being nervous.

Bradley figures that Maverick feels the same way too because it’s obvious that his gaze refuses to catch his the entire time he’s speaking. He hadn’t seen his Uncle Mav in years, and he certainly wasn’t planning on the first time he saw him being today of all days.

It’s hard to believe that he was his stand in dad for so much of his life. He was the guy that attended his Kindergarten graduation. The guy who taught him how to shave his face and how to talk to girls. He was the guy who came to as many baseball games that he was able to fit into his busy military schedule and the guy who he practiced his Valedictorian speech in front of for weeks. He was the same guy who held him when his mother finally passed away and the same guy who let him sleep in his bed while he slept on the floor when he had nightmares after her death.

Maverick encapsulates what Bradley’s childhood was and even though he can’t help it and wants to hate him, he can’t stop himself from looking at his godfather with child-like wonder.

But then Bradley shuts that down as soon as it enters his mind.

Fuck that.

He was Bradley then. He’s Rooster now, and Maverick had his chance and blew it.

Pilots don’t get nervous because it can get you killed. But what they don’t clarify is that you can be killed physically or emotionally and Bradley is too damn prideful to figure out which one they really meant.

iv.

It’s been two days since (Y/N) found herself closing the Hard Deck by herself with the unwarranted help of Bradley Bradshaw.

It’s been forty-eight hours since he flirted with her and offered to take her out on a date. It’s been two-thousand eight-hundred and eighty minutes since he smiled at her and asked her how old she was. And it’s been one-hundred seventy-two thousand eight hundred seconds since he laughed at her and told her that she was too young.

And although two days isn’t a long time (unless you’re five years old and your perception of one minute is a literal fucking second) it feels like a lifetime and God, the counting and the flashbacks and the remembering has been eating her alive; even more so than her being bored.

The embarrassment of her recent wet dream is all consuming too, but she knows she’s too shy to ever utter that admission out loud. It’s one less thing she has to worry about, but five new insecurities and emotions she has to face now.

(Y/N)’s kept her eye out for Bradley the entire night.

She had seen the familiar gang of Navy pilots come in. Hangman had come in and sat with her at the bar for a little bit, telling her about his day and throwing in some cheap flirtatious remarks here and there. She has half the mind to ask him where his friend is, but from the interactions between the two she had clocked from the corner of her eye two days prior, she knows better than to do so.

Jake would probably laugh in her face and accuse her of having some school girl crush on Bradley. The blond was relentless with his teasing, and if he had come across a weak spot, he would use it until the river of discomfort it caused the other person ran dry.

“Don’t look so sad, pretty girl. I’m here now,” he had said, and all (Y/N) could offer him was a free beer and a soft smile.

But that was two hours ago and the fleet of Navy pilots had long since left Hard Deck. Jake had mentioned something about early training tomorrow morning and how he had to leave so it left no surprise that once he headed out, everyone else who was in Miramar for the same mission followed.

(Y/N) is slightly relieved that she didn’t have to face Bradley tonight. She knows that she has a tendency to ramble when she gets extremely nervous and the fact that she dreamt about dry humping him in the driver’s seat of his car definitely adds fuel to the fire of embarrassment that burns deep in the pit of her stomach.

It’s a Monday night and the bar closes at midnight rather than its usual 1 AM. Aunt Penny had let (Y/N) close the bar by herself for the past two nights so when she had slipped out with some excuse about Amelia (which (Y/N) knows is bullshit and that her godmother was really going to visit Maverick, but nevertheless she doesn’t call her out on it) it was decided that (Y/N) was responsible and ready enough to close on her own.

Even though the bar has been closed since midnight, (Y/N) can’t help but take her time shutting down for the night with hopes that the brunette pilot would show face before she turned the lights off and locked the door.

The jukebox had been unplugged and the glasses had been washed and set out to dry. The bar top had been scrubbed clean and all the napkin dispensers were full. (Y/N) even went the extra mile and made sure all the bathrooms had soap and paper towel because she was that desperate for stupid Bradley Bradshaw to come in and kiss her breathless.

She doesn’t think of herself to be a hopeless romantic, but she does have a tendency to hope for the best and sometimes the best isn’t realistic in the slightest. She would probably never see him again and he probably was turned off by how young she was. He was probably ready to settle down soon and get married and be a homeowner and have kids and the thought of something so permanent made (Y/N) a little nauseous.

Sure, she wanted to be a wife and a mom and a homeowner but that’s some day and not any day soon. She hadn’t even gotten a chance to live by herself with no roommates yet, so how could she possibly be ready for marriage or kids?

(Y/N) then realizes that she’s being extremely theoretical and that she should just turn her brain off and stop being delusional. Bradley Bradshaw was not walking through those doors tonight and Bradley Bradshaw was definitely not thinking about her the same way she was thinking about him.

So as she scrubs the bar top counter one last time before she gets ready to leave, she hears the bell above the front door go off. She has half the mind to look up and to yell out that they’re closed, but she stays quiet. She figures the person who walked in would take the hint and see the bar basically abandoned and would turn on their heel and walk right back out.

But when (Y/N) doesn’t hear the bell ding again signaling that the person had left, she puts the rag down and looks up.

And holy shit, it’s Bradley standing right in front of her with his arms outstretched and leaning on the bar.

He’s wearing a gray t-shirt with “NAVY” written in the middle and black running shorts. He has on Birkenstocks and his sunglasses are pushed up to rest on the top of his head.

“Penny here?” he asks, “It’s kinda urgent.” His eyes look around, taking in the surroundings of the bar and fuck, he may be too late. Matter of fact, he knows that he’s too late.

(Y/N) shakes her head. “We close at midnight during the week and it’s,” she looks at her watch, “Nearing one-thirty. You missed her by like two hours, Bradley. Sorry.”

Bradley shakes his head and locks eyes with her. His eyes are filed with so much emotion and she can almost see his subconscious drowning in whatever sorrows he was battling with internally. He looks hurt, scared even. It was totally opposite the fire and childish twinkle they held two days prior as he mindlessly flirted with her when searching for his wallet.

(Y/N) knows something had happened but she figures that it’s not her right to pry. She’s quite a private person herself and knows how annoying it is when people try and get into her head.

Some things just aren’t for other people to know.

“Hey, why don’t we go for a walk or something as soon as I close this place up?” she offers.

She only does because she knows that he needs someone to talk to and something to take his mind off of whatever was troubling him, but she also does it selfishly; knowing that this was also an opportunity for her to get him alone and actually get to know who Bradley Bradshaw is.

He offers her a soft smile. “Yeah. Yeah,” he says, wiping the corners of his mouth with his pointer finger and thumb, “I would like that. A lot.”

(Y/N) offers a grin and a light laugh before exiting the bar and turning off the lights. He opens the door for her and she locks it, putting the keys in her car before they head out to the beach near the strip of buildings where the Hard Deck is located.

The inky blue sky takes (Y/N) back to her rather embarrassing but hot dream about the Lieutenant and she feels her cheeks getting pink. She thanks God that they’re outside and that it’s dark and that he’s not really looking at her because her sudden flush would be hard to explain.

While they walk down the beach they talk about any and everything.

She tells him how she choked on a Lifesaver once in first grade and cried so hard that she threw it up. He tells her about how he sliced the back of his ear open in third grade from climbing on top of his kitchen counter and banging his head on the door to his mom’s spice cabinet. She talks about how she had totaled her first car when she was sixteen because she was riding an old lady’s ass and didn’t have enough time to brake before a turn. He tells her about the time he concussed himself from hitting his head on the glass of his aircraft because he wasn’t strapped in tight enough.

The silences in between stories is comfortable and his voice soothes her. Her heart isn’t beating out of her chest like she thought it would be doing. She’s not anxious or panicked. She’s relaxed and she realizes then that that’s what Bradley Bradshaw’s aura does to her.

They walk back to the parking lot of Hard Deck and he walks her back to her car.

He opens her car door for her and she teasingly gasps, “Oh, what a gentleman, Bradshaw.”

Bradley gives her a grin, “Can say my momma raised me right. Nothing but the best for you, chick.”

Chick.

It makes her tingly inside that he calls her that. It’s her nickname for him and although it’s kind of funky, it’s sweet, in a way. Well, she relishes in the fact that Penny calls her sweet pea still so chick can’t be so bad in comparison to that. Besides, what else did she expect from a guy who goes by “Rooster” casually?

“Told you I wasn’t cheap, Bradley. None of this should be a surprise to you.” She smiles at him and he steps closer to her.

He looks down into her eyes and his hands go up to cup the side of her face and for a second, (Y/N)’s heart stops. Is this really happening, or is this some plot to another one of her embarrassing wet dreams again?

Bradley wants to kiss her. He wants to kiss her so fucking bad but it’s almost like there’s some invisible force preventing him from moving. He knows that that’s not true and that the force is himself because he tends to be his own worst enemy in situations like this.

So instead he settles for an affectionate squeeze to the right side of her face with his palm. “I wish you weren’t so young.”

And with that, he walks to his car and shuts the door, starting his car and sitting in it until (Y/N) decides to pull out of the Hard Deck parking lot.

He wishes she wasn’t so young and that he wasn’t so old as he drives back to his government supplied housing and little does he know is that (Y/N) lays in bed with a frown on her face thinking the opposite.

#bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #rooster x reader #rooster top gun #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #rooster x you #top gun #top gun maverick #miles teller #mt #rooster bradshaw fic #rooster bradshaw fanfic #rooster fanfic #bradley bradshaw fic #writes #rooster

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writingquestionsanswered · 5 months

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how to be more creative?

Three Steps to Being More Creative

Step One: Filling Your Creative Well

You can't create something out of nothing. You need not just the right tools and medium, but also knowledge, ideas, and skills to help you know what to do with those tools and that medium.

Ideas come from the data that's already stored in our brains. That data comes from a variety of places: your day-to-day life, your life experiences, what you hear about others' day-to-day lives and experiences, your experiences with the people and places around you, etc. Any little thing your brain absorbs can become an idea.

So, the number one thing you need to do if you want to be more creative is to fill your head with ideas. I like to call this "filling your creative well," because it's all about filling up your brain with a variety of experiences, stories, and experiences so that you have someplace to draw from when you need ideas.

Guide: Filling Your Creative Well will walk you through how to do that.

Step Two: Learn to Take Creative Risks

Another important part of being more creative is learning to take creative risks. By trying a variety of creative endeavors, even if they're not something you think you'll be good at, and by trying new things in current creative endeavors, you can exercise and expand your creativity. For example, grab a friend or family member and head to one of those "paint and sip" places where they guide you through doing a painting. Alternatively, a lot of craft stores offer free and inexpensive classes that teach you how to do different crafts. You could also go on YouTube and learn how to do something you've never tried before, like origami, crocheting, or calligraphy. Even doing things like building and decorating homes in The Sims, decorating homes or your island in Animal Crossing, or any game where you get to exercise creative choice is a good way to try new things and take creative risks. For writing, try doing some writing prompts or participating in a writing challenge, like a six-word story contest or challenge yourself to turn a favorite song into an actual story (just for fun and personal use.) If you've never written fan-fiction before, try that! Or try writing a story in a genre you've always wanted to write but never have before. Even reading a book, watching a TV show or movie, or playing a game in a new genre can help expand your creative horizons.

Step Three: Let Go of a Need for Perfection

One of the biggest enemies of creativity is a feeling that everything you create needs to be perfect, and this is such an unfortunate thing because most things that require creativity are not things you're ever going to do perfect the first time. So if you can't get past this need to be perfect, you'll never be able to exercise and grow your creativity. So, don't be afraid to paint a bad painting, crochet an uneven scarf, fold a lopsided paper crane, or write a bad story. The point isn't to be perfect or even good. The point is to do it, because even bad art is good practice.

And... if you just wanted to know how to be more creative within a story you're writing, all of the above advice still stands. Fill your creative well, take creative risks, and let go of a need for perfection. ♥

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biblio-smia · 1 year

Text

at the top of my list [ethan landry x reader]

pre-ghostface / no ghostface alternate - no spoilers for scream vi

masterlist | requests are open!

warnings: underage drinking (brief), brief angst but mostly fluff

pairing: fem!carpenter!reader x ethan landry

Rooming with Mindy Meeks-Martin came with its pros: for one, she got you out of having to room with your two sisters — as much as you loved them, you couldn't bear the thought of having to live a tiny, cramped apartment with them, — plus, she was your gateway to the "full college experience" (her words). Then, there were things that came with Mindy that you hadn't decided were pros or cons; after all, she was the reason you met Ethan Landry.

It wasn't entirely her fault — but Mindy was Chad's sister and Ethan was Chad's roommate and in no time, he was part of the group.

It was strange, allowing new people into your lives, but first came Ethan, then Quinn, then Anika and eventually you got used to the feeling.

You warmed up to Ethan first and the fastest, despite making the worst first impression. You'd misheard his name as Ethan Laundry and laughed little too loud for a little too long at a joke only you were in on.

Ethan looked past this; he was far too focused on not stumbling over his own words even to recall the event that mortified you for weeks.

Your relationship with Ethan grew steadily as he came around more and more. It was always in a group setting and usually alongside Chad, but as the months grew on you engaged in more conversations by yourselves. Always somehow left alone with him, you felt yourself becoming increasingly comfortable around Ethan.

Anytime Mindy attempted to make a comment on you and Ethan, she was shutdown immediately, sometimes even before she could get a single word out.

You enjoyed Ethan’s company and he enjoyed yours — the dynamic you had now didn’t need to be changed.

Moreover, you certainly didn’t need Mindy messing things up.

You were adamant enough in your position that Ethan and you were just friends and you didn’t want anything more to Mindy that she cooled down on the would-be comments at least to your face.

“I just know they like each other. I can feel it.” Mindy argued.

“Jeez, I thought Chad was the matchmaker here.” Sam joked.

“Hey, it runs in our blood.” Mindy grinned. “But seriously, all I hear is ‘Ethan this, Ethan that.’ It’d be cute if the two of them weren’t so painfully clueless.”

“Well, why don’t we let them figure it out on their own?” Tara suggested, taking a sip of her drink. She knew how you felt about others meddling into your life, even if it was people you loved — she and Sam learned that the hard way.

Mindy groaned. “That’ll take months. Maybe even years. Do you really want to watch these idiots pine for each other for that long?”

Sam let out a “Hey!” in your defense, while Mindy and Tara looked around for support, both sets of eyes falling on the only person who could clue them into Ethan’s perspective: Chad.

“Well,” Chad glanced nervously from his sister to both of yours, eyes settling on to Tara’s warm brown ones. “He does talk about your sister a lot. Like… a lot.”

“That doesn’t mean we should do anything.” Sam said before Mindy could say anything. “She really wouldn’t appreciate it.”

“Even if it would get them together?” Mindy pleaded desperately.

“Let’s leave them be for now,” Sam stated decisively, offering Mindy a small smile. “Let them figure it out on their own.”

「 ... 」

Knowing Ethan Landry was the best thing that’d ever happened to you in moments like these; it was another group movie night in the apartment your sisters shared with the usual seating arrangements — Mindy, Anika, Chad, and Tara were comfortably squished on the couch meant for three while Sam stretched out her legs on the second couch; effectively shunning you and Ethan to the love seat.

At first, it was awkward — you and Ethan crashed into your respective, opposite, sides of the couch, trying to create as much space between the two of you as possible. Then, as time went on, the distance between you grew smaller; as Ethan grew more comfortable in your presence, he began a habit of whispering random movie trivia into your ear, always carefully watching for your reaction, whether it was a gasp of shock or a cute string of giggles. You weren't sure when it started; despite your tendency to hate people talking during movies, you began to look forward to Ethan's voice in your ear more than the actual movie. By the midway point of each movie, you would always end up leaning against Ethan's warm chest with his arm wrapped around you, insisting it was so Ethan didn't have to work hard to whisper in your ear.

Tonight, Ethan was huddled next to you, the fluffiest blanket you owned draped over the two of you. His hands found yours, playing with your fingers. The movie started around fifteen minutes ago; a fact from Ethan was overdue now. However, as you looked over you realized that Ethan's fidgeting with your hands was nervous and accompanied by frequent glances toward his phone.

"What's up?" You were the one whispering now, a look of concern on your face.

"Hm? Nothing..." Ethan trailed off, distracted, his eyes never leaving his phone.

Ethan wasn't much of a phone guy — especially not during movie nights.

However, you didn't press further, leaning back to try to watch the movie for once.

It wasn't until Ethan's phone dinged, and he reached for it faster than you'd ever seen — breaking the only contact you had with him —, that your suspicion began to grow. Ethan's phone was always on do not disturb, a habit you'd chided him for when he was unresponsive in the group chat — though you were the only exception, the only one he always responded immediately to.

It was surprising to see — you wondered if he was waiting for a grade to be submitted; but as far as you knew, Ethan had no big assignments due recently.

The notification was just an email and the disappointment was clear on Ethan's face. As soon as his phone screen turned black — his home screen photo of you and him disappearing — the screen lit up again, as did Ethan's expression. You averted your eyes. Whatever Ethan was excited about, he'd tell you. On his own time.

You were painfully aware of the minutes that ticked on and on as Ethan typed, waited, stopped to think, then typed again. The sounds of a text conversation suddenly seemed like the biggest interruption to the movie you could have experienced.

Just as your curiosity reached its peak, Ethan turned to you with one of the biggest smiles on his face.

"So, there's this girl..." He went on, eyes bright as you felt your heart drop. You weren't paying attention to his words, only mustering up smiles and nods at the appropriate times to make it seem like you were.

Just like that, the sacredness of movie nights, the hour and a half you intimately shared with Ethan, was gone. It was tainted by the prospect of another girl on Ethan's mind and you suddenly couldn't stand being within five feet of him, an unfamiliar ache sprouting in your chest. The pain only worsened the longer you sat there, processing as the sound of your heart pound drowned out everything else.

You got up suddenly, clutching the spot that screamed in agony. "I don't... feel good." You looked around, cheeks heating up as you realized you caused a scene, glancing at the one now paused on the television.

"Are you okay? Do you need medicine?" Sam asked, suddenly sitting up. She made a motion to get up and you waved her off; if she came up to you know you knew you'd cry.

"No, no, I'm just gonna... go lie down. I'll be fine." You stood true to your word, making your way through the small apartment to the closest room — Tara's — before anyone could say anything more. With your back turned to the living room and your quick exit, you missed the way Ethan sprang up, only discouraged from following you with a shake of Tara's head.

「 ... 」

Being alone with your thoughts in the dark might have been your worst idea yet — but at least you had no audience.

Ethan was talking to a girl. They weren't dating — he would've told you that immediately — but they were talking. Worst of all, there was no reason for Ethan not to talk to other girls. It wasn't like you were dating.

You began to analyze the entirety of your relationship with Ethan, trying to pinpoint where everything went wrong. Somewhere along the way, Ethan had climbed his way up and became the person you cared about the most — sometimes even more than yourself. You'd tried so hard to convince yourself that the love you felt for him was platonic, but you weren't sure platonic friends felt so strongly when there was a romantic involvement with someone else. This was jealously in its purest form.

You groaned, hands on your head as it began to pound. The sudden thought that Mindy was right popped into your head, making you groan even harder.

Knowing Ethan Landry had suddenly become the worst thing that ever happened to you as you realized, too late, that you were hopelessly in love with him.

「 ... 」

Tara and Sam came in after the movie ended, much sooner than expected. Tara instinctively flipped the light switch on, flooding the room with bright yellow light. The sudden irritation led you to cover your eyes with a pillow and groan once more.

"Do you still feel bad? What hurts?" You felt Sam take a seat on the bed, pulling your hands away from your face. You squinted, your eyes still not adjusting to the sudden light when Tara spoke up.

"You're crying."

Your eyes opened and saw the looks of concern on Sam's and Tara's faces, hands reaching for your cheeks where, as correctly observed, tears had streamed down.

"I didn't realize." You said softly, wiping your face quickly. An uncomfortable silence laid upon the three of you, unsure of what to say. Tara and Sam exchanged glances before Tara took a seat on the other side of you, placing her hand on your leg comfortingly.

"Did... Ethan do something?" She asked cautiously.

"What? No!" You shook your head to emphasize. "Well... not purposely."

Sam took your hand in hers, a knowing look on her face.

"He's... talking to someone. It's stupid, I know. It's my fault I didn't give him a reason to... I just didn't realize I..." Tears welled up in your eyes again as you trailed off. You didn't need to finish. Your sisters knew exactly what you were feeling.

「 ... 」

Mindy was next to find out about your feelings toward Ethan and the situation you found yourself in. To your surprise, you weren't met with the "I told you so" or other celebration you expected. Mindy accepted your statement quietly as the two of you lay on your separate beds, dark encompassing your shared dorm.

"What are you going to do about it?" Mindy asked.

"Nothing." Your voice came out shakier than you'd expected. "What can I do now?"

「 ... 」

Chad was the last to find out, after your permission to let him in was granted. You would've told himself if you didn't think it was useless to. There was no point in admitting something that was too late to act on. To say you were hopeless was an understatement; you no longer left your dorm for anything other than class. You hadn't hung out with your friends in days, including Ethan. You were running out of excuses to throw at him and you knew you were running out of time to be upset. You'd have to pick yourself back up eventually — but for now you let yourself be sad.

This decision, however, was not supported by your friends. Tara and Sam's position on their involvement in your life changed drastically. It started as a plan to get you out of bed, they swore, but ended up changing as they realized who the girl Ethan was talking to was.

Chad had reported back to the group everything Ethan had told him about her; Tara recognized her as the girl you sat next to in your English class. You'd mentioned her a few times in passing; she was a friend of a friend of Tara's.

"She's weird," Tara said, eyebrows furrowing as Chad pulled up her instagram profile. "Not in a mean way. As in, she's kind of obsessed with my sister way." Tara crossed her arms, suddenly defensive.

"So what do we do? I mean, I don't think she actually likes Ethan?" Chad asked, looking back and forth.

Sam shrugged. "She might. If we gave her the benefit of the doubt. But it's starting to sound more like something else..."

The four exchanged solemn glances, all understanding what had to happen.

"We have to break them up."

「 ... 」

It was a party that got you out of your room (after days of pleading from Mindy). You were warned beforehand that Ethan and that girl would be showing up. You were only attending, despite this fact, due to the promise of alcohol that you knew would help you get through the inevitable. It was going to happen eventually. Why postpone it?

You separated from Mindy immediately, downing a cup of whatever drink was available — that and a refill was the only prerequisite you had before you forced yourself to find Ethan. Though, it seemed to be the other way around as you turned and were met with an overly-enthusiastic girl on an uncomfortable looking Ethan's arm. It took you a moment to recognize the girl in the dim party lights, but when you did, you didn't bother hiding the shock on your face.

"Madeline?" You almost dropped your cup in surprise, recalling an interaction that had occurred a few weeks ago.

Your teacher was running late, and you were unsure if he was going to show up. You pulled out your laptop to try and take advantage of the hour and a half you had of your lost lecture to get some work done.

Madeline, who was always late, took a seat next to you, as she usually did. She was sweet enough from your limited interactions with her, though the class you were taking didn't leave much room for you to talk.

Though, as there was no excuse not to now, Madeline had the opportunity to engage in small talk with you.

You responded politely but shortly, a little irritated that she continued trying to talk to you despite your obvious desire to get work done. You quickly concluded that Madeline was one of those people who enjoyed the sound of their own voice; a normal person would've stopped talking by now at your short replies.

Your phone lit up out of the corner of your eye and you knew it was Ethan; his class had just ended and the two of you had plans after you got out of this one. You'd always told him to head back to his dorm and wait out the rest of the 45 minutes you had of class there; but he always insisted on waiting for you and walking back together.

"Ooh, who's this?" Madeline giggled, snatching up your phone, much to your surprise. You thought you'd left people like her back in high school.

"Your boyfriend?" She inquired suggestively, pointing at your lock screen — a picture of you and Ethan celebrating his birthday exactly at midnight.

You shook your head, grabbing your phone back a little aggressively.

"No." You responded. It was none of her business; but you weren't assertive enough to say that to her face.

Madeline gasped exaggeratedly. "But he's your lock screen? You sure you're not dating?" She asked as innocently as she could muster.

"No." You repeated, harder this time. "We're just friends."

It was weird enough of an interaction to make sure you were never in a situation where you had to sit near her in that class again, but you chose not to say anything. It was a standalone, isolated event. But now, she was here with Ethan and you weren't sure what to think anymore. However, you were certain you did not like her.

"Oh my God! Isn't this the biggest coincidence?" Madeline exclaimed, though the tone of her voice suggested it wasn't.

"Wait, you two know each other?" Ethan asked, his own surprise evident.

"Of course we do!" Madeline said, letting go of Ethan and bumping her shoulder with yours, your drink dangerously close to sloshing onto your shirt. "We're like, best friends!"

You couldn't help but scoff.

"Really? You've never mentioned her..." You weren't sure if Ethan was talking to you or Madeline, but it pissed you off regardless. Maybe the alcohol had been a mistake.

"Well, have fun." You said curtly, taking one last look at Ethan before walking off. You quickly found Mindy, Chad, and Tara hovering close enough to watch the interaction but far enough that you hopefully wouldn't notice; too late.

You made your way over to them, sighing as you took another sip of your drink.

"What are you guys up to?" You asked suspiciously.

Mindy and Tara looked around at anywhere but you; Chad, however, was not so fast. Your eyes landed on his and you could see the fear in them.

"Nothing!" He insisted too quickly. "Just waiting for her to make a fool of herself so Ethan hates her?" It came out more of a question, but a smile grew on your face. You'd caught them.

Mindy groaned, smacking Chad's arm. "Seriously, you are the weakest link."

"Guys, seriously, it's fine. I'm fine. Can we stop worrying about it and just have fun?" You insisted.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Chad asked, eyes looking at something behind you.

You turned just in time to see Ethan storming away from his date and to the kitchen where he poured himself a drink. Ethan never drank.

"I'll go... check on him." Your words were quiet but the rest of the group nodded anyway, pushing you towards Ethan.

"Slow down, there," you said, a little hypocritically as Ethan chugged the mystery contents of his cup. He reached for a refill but you placed your hands on his, stopping him. That was more than enough alcohol for someone who barely tolerated it.

He was agitated, you could tell, but not at you.

"Have you been avoiding me?" Ethan asked boldly despite the hurt in his voice. Maybe a little at you.

You sighed, stepping closer to him. "Let's go home?"

He hesitated, but nodded, letting his hand fall in yours as you motioned to Mindy across the room.

「 ... 」

You didn't let go of his hand even after you left the crowded sea of warm bodies and were met with the cool air outside. You glanced at him from time to time, though for the first time since you'd known him, his expression was unreadable.

"I wasn't avoiding you. I mean, I didn't mean to. I mean, I just... wasn't in the right mindset to see anyone." You attempted to explain, feeling ashamed all over again.

"You should've told me. I wouldn't have been mad."

"I know. I just didn't want you to think it was your fault."

You continued in silence, though you took your still interlocked hands as a good sign.

"Are you mad now?" You asked carefully.

Ethan shook his head. "I could never be mad at you."

Though instead of relief, you felt guilty.

"She said you were weird." Ethan started after a while. You raised your eyebrows, but kept quiet. "She said it was weird I'm your lock screen. And that you were obsessed with me." Ethan paused and laughed a little, as if acknowledging how ridiculous the accusation was. "She didn't realize you're mine." Ethan flashed his phone up to prove it as if you weren't well aware of the picture. But isn't it weird how she knew we knew each other? And she didn't say anything to me? I thought so." Ethan didn't give you a chance to reply, but he didn't need to; he made his decision, on his own. Though, you couldn't help the relief you felt at it.

It wasn't a long walk back to your building, and the two of you made your way up to your room quietly. Ethan habitually kicked off his shoes as he entered, making his way to your bed and taking a seat. You joined him and sat there, staring at your hands. The two of you looked at each other and opened your mouths to speak at the same time, suddenly stumbling over your words to try and let the other go first.

"You. Go." You said a little awkwardly.

"I love you. I'm in love with you." Ethan started.

"Ethan—"

"Let me finish, please. If I don't say this now I don't think I ever will." He looked to you and you nodded your encouragement.

"I love you so much it's terrifying. I don't know how to date or what any of that is like... but I know how I feel. I love you and I know you're my best friend and I don't know what to do anymore..." Tears were beginning to pool in his eyes as Ethan sighed. "Your turn?"

You couldn't help but laugh.

"I love you, Ethan. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize and even more to accept it... I think I picked the worst possible moment to realize..." You took a shaky breath. "But I think it worked out?"

"Yeah. It most definitely worked out." And with that, Ethan's lips clumsily crashed onto yours, your hands immediately moving to his face to guide him. You could taste the last hints of liquid courage on his lips and you were suddenly grateful he'd had that spiked punch; there was no way you'd gotten a confession out of him otherwise.

You separated to catch your breath, taking a chance to admire Ethan as you ran your thumb over his cheek. He grinned toothily, placing his hands on yours. You kissed him, softer this time, savoring the feeling of his soft lips on yours.

"I knew it!" A voice exclaimed from the doorway, causing you and Ethan to jump approximately five feet from each other, cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

There they were: Mindy, Chad, Sam, and Tara with smiles on their faces as they high-fived each other proudly.

"This was all my idea," Mindy said excitedly. "I said we should make a plan—"

"That's enough out of you." Tara said, placing her arms around Mindy and beginning to drag Mindy out.

"You two should be thanking me!"

"We'll leave you two alone now." Chad said with a smile and a wink, causing you to roll your eyes playfully.

"Remember, it's my room too!" Mindy's voice carried from the hall as Chad shut the door behind him, leaving you and Ethan alone in the quiet once again. You groaned at Mindy's comment while Ethan laughed.

Ethan flopped down on the bed, patting the spot next to him. You joined him and he wrapped his arm around like he loved to do.

The comfortable silence was broken by Ethan — it was a whisper so quiet you almost missed it.

"You're my number one," Ethan confessed. "You always have been."

"Good," you replied with a smile as you leaned in to place a kiss on his lips. "Because you're mine, too."

#ethan landry #ethan landry x reader #ethan landry fluff #scream #scream x reader #scream vi #scream 6 #v writes #v + ethan

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