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#seriously they are all Gay™ and Terrible™ it is so much fun
tsintotwo · 2 years
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(Part 1/4)
Like a lot of us, I've been going through Tom Sturridge's filmography since watching Sandman on Netflix. I've watched a good amount of stuff so far, and I have Thoughts™ . Writing a few lines about him in each of the projects (because apparently this is a Tom Sturridge fan blog now??)
Now, you watch Tom in interviews and he is the DEFINITION of a cinnamon roll, so you would never think this- but this man has been absolutely wildin for over a decade. The projects he chooses? The roles he takes on? Half the time it's as if he's like 'if it's not excruciatingly dramatic, absolutely insane, and/or heart-poundingly, breath-chokingly sexy, don't even bother'. Also something else I think I figured out from watching these and Tom's interviews- it's possible that in his mind, wild/dangerous = seductive. So, anytime he's playing a character of that sort, he turns it on and immediately has intense sexual tension with everyone in sight. It's mind-blowing.
This is what I've watched so far:
Like Minds/Murderous Intent (2006)- Eddie Redmayne's first movie. Tom plays Ed's boarding school classmate, a psycho. He was 20/21 in this, unbelievably pretty, and nailed the 'devil with an angel's face' character to a tee. The chemistry with Ed is, predictably, insane. He says and does some seriously disturbing things in the movie. This was so early in his career too! It's possible that Tom's always been a 'choose the interesting project' person vs 'choose something that might make me a popular sweetheart' person.
Waiting for Forever (2010)- I have to say this first, I legit loved this movie so much. It strikes just the right balance between soulful and real, and the whole effect is incredibly sweet and touching. They don't make movies like this anymore. Tom's character is a very innocent type: naive and clueless to the extent of disturbing, but full of hope and belief. Tom is SO good in this. He plays it a bit slow and spacey, and captures the wide-eyed wonder and confusion of the character perfectly. *chef's kiss*
The Hollow Crown s2 (2012)- This was a series of BBC adaptations of Shakespeare's historical plays based on English kings. Tom was Henry VI, and I was fkn depres*ed for a week after watching this, no lie. Henry VI on screen is spineless, pathetic, and being manipulated left and right by every single person in his vicinity. The politics is nasty, the murders are brutal, and King Henry, 17, doesn't want any of it (but is still too much of a wuss to give up his crown so he clutches on religion instead). Tom, with his young face, long hair, gray cloak and his rosary that he desperately hangs onto, speaking of hope and heartbreak in Shakespearean lingo, just made me feel lots of emotions - terribly angry and frustrated with the king, then sad and horrified for him. It was draining. (The series overall is fantastic tbh.)
On The Road (2012)- Based on Jack Kerouac's novel, this movie is all sorts of nasty- drugs upon drugs, lurid sex, people treating other people terribly. Tom in this is sensitive writer boi in unrequited love with a fuckboy, and his personality is "we can take sexuality out of it, just hold me, man". I pray for the gays who will see this movie now because they won't survive Tom in this. (I mean I'm straight and I barely survived). The messy hair? Thick black-framed glasses? The hurt glances? Manic-pixie smiles? Teary-eyed, swollen-lipped monologue? (Edit: Scene) I'm f*cking deceased. (No kidding tho, I can't take movies that are so on-the-nose seriously and I skipped through it, and still Tom with his limited screen time managed to make me genuinely feel for his character. He was amazing.) Fun fact: The scene of him being bodily carried away for a threesome and proceeding to break the bed (literally) lives rent free in my head. No, I am not all right.
Far From the Madding Crowd (2015)- Adaptation of Thomas Hardy's classic novel. Tom plays Sgt. Francis Troy (opposite Carey Mulligan) and is a regular no-good rake. Listen, you'd think Tom with his sweet mouth and wispy facial hair couldn't pull off a moustache. You'd be wrong. He looks great. And he has that charisma that makes you wanna drive off a cliff for him even though you know he's an asshole. They made his character halfway decent tho, Troy is worse in the book. (EDIT: No they did NOT! I was skipping thru the movie and missed a scene lol. But I've watched the whole thing now and, yeah). And Tom switches vibes from sinister to emotional without missing a beat. What a goddamned treat watching this man is.
I'll stop now, and do the next installment on another 5 Tom projects (I guess Remainder, Mary Shelley, Sweetbitter, Irma Vep, Sea Wall/A Life? We'll see.)
(Edit: Part 2 , Part 3, Part 4, Part 5/ Bonus)
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fire-fira · 2 years
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A Non-Exhaustive List of My Fiance @radioactive-earthshine​‘s Impressions of the 2003 TMNT Series:
First up--
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MIKEY
Her favorite
He screams in such a wonderful way.
10/10 would be friends with Bart Allen/Impulse online (where they’d talk about Star Trek, both headcanons and meta).
The cute one
Precious
GIVE! HIM! FRIENDS!
He definitely needs to hit up Roy Harper/Arsenal in New York to join his team, Titans East.
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RAPH
He experiences a LOT of male-bonding.
This turtle isn’t straight. (He’s masc for masc.)
Dramatic
He needs his boyfriend (meaning Traximus) around more.
While his brothers were all being traumatized in various ways during the arc that included SAINW he was off in a bike-race with a hottie on another planet.
Would absolutely swear more and probably only censors himself around his dad.
He’d be friends with Jason Todd/Robin II/Red Hood.
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DONNIE
The Kirby episode with him was one of her favorites.
Tim Drake/Robin III/Red Robin’s friend.
Why is he sitting on the couch like that? Sir, why did you put the couch like that before climbing onto it to sit?
He’s not straight because he sits on the couch like that. He’s not straight either.
Hasn’t made much of an impression. (Sorry Donnie, you don’t get a full 7 points.)
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LEO
O O F.  SON.
Ah, he’s a bi disaster.
He needs to get together with the rabbit.
Wants him to behead people more. Wants it to be a running gag that he beheads Shredder every time they encounter each other. (”Go apeshit! Do it again!”)
He needs to stop chasing Karai, she’s a bad choice. (”She’s hot, but son that’s a CHOICE.”)
✨T H E R A P Y✨
Her watching every moment between Leo and Usagi: “That’s gaaaaayyyyyy~.”
Orion (of New Genesis) would get along with him.
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SPLINTER
Unhealthy obsession with wanting to see him naked. (Seriously, she wants to see this rat without his robe on constantly.)
Wants to see him brushing his fur.
Is married to the Daimyo.
Wants him to have tea with Alfred Pennyworth. (Where they could go back and forth over hellion children.)
Where are your teeth? (”He’s a opossum!” -brings up google images- “Look! That’s a opossum! He doesn’t have rat teeth!”)
You’re one fucked-up rat.
Regularly quotes him as saying “Oh, you were so cute” about his sons.
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USAGI
Leo’s (long-distance) boyfriend
“Is he a lop-eared rabbit? If he takes that tie off will his ears just flop over?”
Ah, another disaster-bi.
A much better choice than Karai.
“You exchanged swords? That’s gay.”
“I do not want to see him naked ever.”
“Where are your teeth?!”
“Real original name.” 🙄
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KARAI
I have no thoughts about her-- no wait.
If I had that name I’d Karai too.
A terrible choice.
Hot though.
Needs to figure out her shit.
You don’t need NO MAN.
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CASEY (MOTHER FUCKING) JONES
CANADIAN????
It’d be hilarious if how he died in SAINW was something really stupid, like choking on air, or tripping into something, or choking on a muffin. Nothing impressive, just embarrassing. It’d be hilarious.
Fun to watch.
You’re too disastrous to not be bi.
I need him to handle all my retail returns.
He needs to use a baseball bat more.
Dumbass™ (because of his terrible hiding skills)
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APRIL
“I haven’t changed my outfit in over 10 years because I made a vow when I lost my Uncle Auggie to never change my wardrobe until he came back home so he’d recognize me!”
MOOD
You’re just as much of a dumbass™ as Casey, and that’s why you deserve each other.
GIRL, are you BARBIE? Because you have a lot of careers!
-a la Jurassic Park- SHOOT HER!!! SHOOT HER AGAIN!!!
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LEATHERHEAD
I WANT TO BOOP THAT SNOOT.
Wants to pet his snoot too. (”I think he’d like it.”)
Also would get along well with Orion of New Genesis.
✨T H E R A P Y✨
Deserves better.
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SHREDDER
wATch OUt fOr ShrEDdeR!!!
Can’t take him seriously and starts laughing every time he’s on screen.
Wants him to be beheaded constantly by Leo.
Mocks him by giving him Bane’s voice from the Harley Quinn animated series and pretending he has a fixation on cheese and shredding cheese. (”Soooomonnne! Give me the cheddaaaarrr!!! I’m so stressed!”)
Sometimes calls him Cheddar.
Desperately wants someone to call him a Kitchen-Aid attachment to his face.
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HUN
Hun. Hunny. Honey. (Absolutely must mock his name.)
“All the men call me Hun.”
Vaguely implied that the Purple Dragons were his harem??? (My fiance is wild y’all.)
Clearly smarter than Baxter Stockman.
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BAXTER STOCKMAN
HE NEVER LEARNS!!!
“I want him to call Shredder the Kitchen-Aid attachment.”
Her favorite line from him: “You’d make a horrible scientist.”
WOOOOWWWWWWW
Clearly not as smart as Hun when it comes to shutting his damn mouth.
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heytheredeann · 5 years
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You have been hit with a Whump Ask! Pick five different whumpees and let us know what aspects of them are the whumpiest!
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Mmmmh, yes, yes, let’s see. I’ll try not to pick more than one per fandom. In no particular order:
Garcia Flynn (Timeless). I mean. Giant murder tree with Tragic Backstory™ and a strong sense of duty when it comes to protecting the people he loves finds himself a bunker family to take bullets for, what’s not to whump? The man is also allergic to admitting to feeling shitty, he has no sense of ‘hey, maybe I’m pushing it a little too far’, he has trouble relying on others (ARE they his friends??? surely they hate him!! they wouldn’t care!!!!!!) and isn’t it enjoyable to watch him cry his eyes out in his friend/partner’s arms? Watch him as he’s totally baffled that people DON’T just want to rely on HIM all the time, but they actually sort of want to make this a mutual thing! 10/10 would recommend both for emotional and physical whump, maybe both at the same time.
Neal Cassidy (Once Upon A Time). This dude is a couple of centuries overdue for a breakdown. You can’t give me a guy who has had such a shitty life, with everything going wrong at every turn, and yet never stopped saying “Hey! I’ll just keep going, things will get better!” and not expect me to write thousands of words of people fussing over him. Totally unrealistic. Let Neal Cassidy Have A Breakdown 2k19. The abanonement issues alone offer material for a 20k emotional whump fic tbh. Also, he is a self-sacrificial little idiot, and he literally has been since when he was a kid, so this lack of what’s known as ‘sense of self-preservation’, or perhaps ‘common sense’, means that he is conveniently cooperative when I want to destroy him. 10/10 would recommend, there’s honestly a long line of people ready to be the caretaker here, I would suggest going for a group hug or something, everybody wins.
Grant Ward (Agents of SHIELD). Okay, LISTEN. I don’t care if we are talking about Agent Ward or the real Ward, HE IS SO MUCH FUN TO WHUMP. Agent Ward is the Protector of the group, the Tough Guy, Can’t Show Any Weakness Ever, and half his team would like. panic. if he were to get seriously hurt. because??? so wrong?????? so weird???? He’s also an uncooperative little shit with no regard for his physical safety, so convalescent!Ward is Terrible™, both versions of him. Pushing it too far? Who’s that? Talking about real!Ward… EVERYONE HATES HIM. Betrayal! They are Angry! But! B u t . In a scenario in which Ward is sort of on probation with his team, slowing trying to work his way back to being trusted, you know what would make for a Good Scenario? HAVING EVERYONE WORRY THAT HE ALMOST DIED. Also, a Good Trope is throwing the villain in with the heroes because the poor thing is too hurt to have any better options. Poetry, I’m telling you. He also has tons of trauma and tragic backstory that could be used for emotional whump, but good luck unpacking that shit. It’s buried under about a thousand layers of shitty coping mechanisms, most of which include blood being spilled. 9/10 would recommend, that missing point being because god forbid he ever like. comes to life and takes his revenge. you should take into account the possibility of a slow, painful death as retaliation.
James Flint (Black Sails). I haven’t written much about Black Sails (yet.), buuuut THIS GUY. He is a big ball of rage and pain who just wants to be loved and is just a Soft Gay™. That’s it. Have fun writing all the emotional toll that a decade of suffering has taken on him, thankfully he has Thomas right there with free hugs. I believe he’s also Good for physical whump, especially if we have Mr John Silver freaking the hell out over it. Because Flint has tunnel vision and little common sense, the man took on a Spanish warship with one (1) functioning arm like five minutes after almost drowning, he’s way too stubborn for anybody’s good and Silver would just want him to LISTEN and STOP TRYING TO GET HIMSELF KILLED. Now let’s all take a minute, imagine what happens when he does come a little too close to getting himself killed and he’s bleeding on the floor. How Silver would flip. Ah, yes, how poetic. ALSO. Am I going to deny the appeal of stripping off the defences of someone with such a carefully constructed image to cover up how much of a sensitive soul he is? Of course not. 10/10 would recommend, so much potential, so much shit happening in canon, so good.
Harvey Specter (Suits). A show about lawyers is not exactly a place that offers much material for whump. Does that stop me? PFFFFFFFT. Harvey is generally put in the position of the caretaker, because his role in the show is generally to Fix Problems, be mentor-like, etc, and he is awfully guarded, especially in the beginning (as the seasons go by he gets more and more obvious about how he actually cares all over the place, but yeah). But. I think. that’s all the more reason to break him. ROLE REVERSAL OKAY. People being Shook™ to see him in such a position of weakness. Also, he’d hate every second of it and try to brush everything off with a bunch of ‘I’m fine’s, and doesn’t that add to the fun? Yes, it does. He has the Tragic Backstory with tons of abandonement issues that makes for good emotional whump, some delightful family members always so ready to throw shit at him for our convenience, he gets stabbed in the back too often not to take a toll and he’s prone to panic attacks. What more do you want? 10/10 would recommend, especially for emotional whump, but it’s also Good™ to make that follow the physical whump (good way to break down walls!), so.
It turns out that I sort of have a type.
Honorable mentions, because you can’t seriously think that I’d limit myself to five LOL: Wyatt Logan (disaster human being prone to bad decisions, has a hero complex, has a tragic backstory and is Bad At Feelings. lovely.) , Lucy Preston (suffers of My Mother Is The Worst syndrome, bad at allowing herself to have negative feelings, has suffered of PTSD, is claustrophobic, needs a lot of hugs asap because everything seems to always go wrong. She’s also a civillian thrown in warzones, so that always has potential), Jemma Simmons (she is SMOL and stubborn and the medic of the group, she is not certified for the field but she wants Adventure that she is not qualified for, lots of repressed trauma, I just want people to hug her, okay?), Camille Engelson (always busy taking care of everyone, represses feelings like there’s no tomorrow, I am 100% going to make her suffer and have Fisher come comfort her. Everyone needs a break from being the Reliable One), Dean Winchester (the big brother is always a good one to throw shit at, because Role Reversal. bad at admitting he’s not okay, always tries to Take Care Of It Himself, I want everyone to trap him in a group hug).
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