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#seriously tho imagine them sneaking away to their secret place
zan-the-second · 2 years
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Y'all if the Flower Husbands don't get a “sneaking out in the middle of a party to spend time with your beloved” scene in the upcoming Festival, then what's even the point.
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okayeojin · 4 years
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loona as older brothers
➢ 💌; fluff
n/a: this got me so confused! bc i didn't know whether I should have used he/him or she/her pronouns TT i settled for using female pronouns, but you get the thrill, this is loona as older brothers
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。• ..・。.・゜✭・. ° • .
heejin
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I think we can all agree that she would be the typical brother that all your friends would have a crush on, at least once
she would have fun walking around shirtless, especially whenever your friends were around
she would be so flirty with everyone you brought home
but just to annoy you, let's be honest
she would love to tease you and drive you mad, just to enjoy and laugh at your reaction
like, every little thing she did, it was just to see how mad you would get
she wouldn't show it, but she would be very very jealous and protective with you
if any of her friends ever made a comment about you, you would probably never see that guy ever again in your house
in case someone bothered you at school, she would be so ready to square up
she would very rarely say out loud that she loved you but she seriously did. a lot too
hyunjin
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you two would fight a lot
for every little thing, one would get mad at the other, leading to your mom punishing the both of you
like, whenever people commented about how the two of you looked so much alike, you would get very offended, debating on who was the better looking sibling
I can stress this enough but she would utilize every single opportunity to prank you or annoy you
she would blame you for stuff she did just to get you in troubles
however, she would always be there for your big events
like, idk, your graduation ceremony, and so on
you too, if she had a football or basketball play (whatever sport you see her playing if she was a male teenager lmao) you would be there to cheer her up
you wouldn't be very used to showing affection, neither of you
and every time you were forced to take a picture together, anyone would easily be able to read the pain in both your expressions
haseul
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the protective big brother
she would be quite a few years older than you and she would be the one who taught you most of the things you knew
you had always seen her as your hero
she would be the person you cared the most about, and the one you would rely on for anything
ever since you were little, she would always buy you stuff, whether it be sweets or toys
and even as you were older, she would care for you, watch over you and give you all the affection she could give
she would be soooo jealous the first time you brought a significant other home, even though you had warned her before, since you cared a lot about her opinion
she would help you with your homework, give you advice and teach you new things
ngl, people who didn't know you, would often thing you were a couple, considering how close you two were
she would be very openly affectionate too, and sometimes you were the one embarassed by her display of affection
yeojin
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honestly it's hard for me to imagine her as an older brother but here we go ig
she would often pretend to be annoyed by you
like, if you wanted to play with her, she would shove you aside and do her own thing
but at the same time, she would crave your company
and slowly creep into your room to ask what you were doing, and if you weren't busy, she would ask to go play out with her
let's say she would be very protective and love you a lot, but would be way too shy to show it
whenever your friends, or hers, were over, she would stay miles away from you and pretend she didn't have time for her little sibling
although she would act like she didn't care, she would always give you some advice and ask if you needed her help in anything
she would also ask you every day how your day was and if someone was bothering you at school
if so, she would confront that person and stand up for you, but she probably wouldn't tell you about it
she would love you a lot, and she would treasure every memory with you, like all the pictures you drew for her when you were little
vivi
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she would be perfect in case you needed an advice
she wouldn't be invasive and ask you about your private life, the people you were seeing or dating and what you were doing in your free time
like, she would be very worried about you and constantly making sure you were okay but she wouldn't want to invade your privacy
to her, it wouldn't matter at which time you called her, because she would always answer
she would be so reliable and always there for her little sibling
and so supportive of everything you did!
she almost looked like your dad and you would be lowkey embarassed but deep down you were so glad she was the way she was
you wouldn't change your brother for anyone else in the world and you would make sure to let her know that
she would be very goofy, sometimes even more than you, despite you being the younger one
some people would think you were the old one
kim lip
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she would be the chill and cool brother everyone would love
like the type of older brother who would help you do things your parents said no to
you wanted to get your ears pierced but you mom wouldn't let you? she would take you to get them done
she wouldn't be careless or anything, she would always help you make the right choices, just with a little bit of fun
super supportive of anything you do, really!!
if you ever felt down about anything, she would be your biggest hypeman and your number 1 fan
she also would buy you a lot of gifts, and she would remember your favorite place to eat and take you there a lot
she would also spoil you a lot, i feel like
i think, when you were younger, you two would fight quite a bit but things changed when you grew up
jinsoul
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definitely the older brother who would embarass you anywhere you go
but not in a mean way, like, she would support you very loudly at every one of your events
loudly cheering you up like there was no tomorrow
definetely the couple of siblings that would often be mistaken for a couple
she would always love to spend time with you, even if sometimes you wouldn't really want to spend time with your older brother
like, let's say you wanted to go out with your friends, she would be pouty claiming that "you didn't love you brother at all" and didn’t spend enough time with her
she would always prepare something for you for your birthday
she wouldn't tease you like some other members would, but instead she would protect and care for you a lot, even too much sometimes
yep, very clingy and affectionate
but you knew you could always rely on her if you needed any help in literally anything. literally the best older brother
choerry
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always there for you
so let's say she wouldn't be much older, but like you would have only a year difference sorry she's my age so i cant imagine her too old but u can if u want
the fact that you would be almost the same age, meant that you grew up together and therefore you would share a lot of secrets and trust each other a whole lot
if you or her failed a test or an exam, you would tell each other and keep it a secret from your parents
if one of you had to sneak out, the other would help and distract your parents
you two would literally be partners in crime, and it would be hard for people to believe you two were siblings and not just friends
you two would barely fight, and if you did, it wouldn't be for major things
when one of you got their first partner, you would make a promise together that siblings came first and all that
you would never want to break that beautiful relationship you had with your brother
i feel like she would be such a supportive and helpful brother, who would play with you and help you with homework (even if sometimes she wouldn't even know what she was doing)
she would also proudly show you off to her friends, claiming you were the coolest sibling ever, but if one of them were to put their eyes on you, she would be ready to snap
yves
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i think for her, things would be different when you were young compared to when you grew up
when you were little, she would think you were an hassle to look after whenever your parents weren't home
let’s say, to her it seemed like you were wasting her time just to play with you, and every time you went into her room she would get annoyed
but you loved her nonetheless
and she would finally reciprocate your love once you grew up (even tho she loved you before too)
if you aksed her for a car ride to go somewhere, she would do it,, after asking where the hell you intended to go and with who
she would get really protective with you once you started going out on your own and taking your friends (and your dates) home
she would be protective but not so much that you would fight about it
like yes, she often worried about simple things, but you appreciated the fact that she did and that she would always be there to help you and be by your side
also let's say that your friends, almost everyone, would have a crush on her at least once and that would make you jealous, and knowing that it did, she would make fun of you a lot, saying that you would always be her favorite person
chuu
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do we all agree that she would be the type of child who would constantly beg their parents for a little brother or a little sister?
like she would want a little sibling and someone to look after so much that she wouldn't care if you were a boy or a girl
also i feel like she would put you in danger without intending to
for example, she would want to pick you up even if she wasn't strong enough to do so,, and maybe almost dropped you once or twice
once you grew up, she would still have a soft spot for you and everything you did 
you were her little sibling after all
as a brother, she would protect you from anything literally, even if you didn't need her help
and even if sometimes she would embarass you in front of others
you wouldn't be able to stay mad at her tho ):
to other people, she would look like the younger one, and even if she wasn't, you would also take care of her as if she was
gowon
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definitely the awkward type of older brother
what I mean by that, is that she probably wouldn’t show her love for you quite often you’ve seen that phone call between her and her actual brother right? 
and those rare moments where she was affectionate towards you (or at least, tried to be) would be very cringy
like, it would be embarassing for both of you to hug each other ngl
not to mention that whenever one of you showed affection, the other would tease them to no end
also she would question your love lmao
“I love you!” “okay what do you need from me this time?” “can’t I just say I love you?!” “yeah... sure”
but overall you two would be such a cute couple of siblings,, and both really good looking
like, her friends would get crushes on you, and your friends on her and that would make both of you quite jealous and possessive
despite her lack of showing affection, she would love you a lot
olivia hye
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all of your friends’ first crush
she wouldn’t be interested in them at all tho, but she liked the idea that you were mad that they would drool at the mere sight of her
as a brother, she would be so annoying
she would constantly think about new ways of getting in your way and making you angry, lke pulling childish pranks on you
she would hide your stuff or, worst, use your stuff, ruining it
you would costantly be at each other’s throat, fighting as if you were still 5 five years old
you would be your parents’ worst nightmare
in a way, she would be similar to hyunjin, she wouldn’t let you live in peace not even for five minutes lmao
however tho, she would definitely have a soft spot for her little sibling, and she would secretely square up with those people who bothered you at school 
she would never admit that she deeply cared about you, but it would be clear because of how she would blush and smile whenever you told her you loved her
.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。• ..・。.・゜✭・. ° • .
masterlist:°•☆
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okayoonoh · 4 years
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best part (1): lee taeyong
“you don’t know babe, when you hold me and kiss me slowly, it’s the sweetest thing.”
---
- PAIRING: lee taeyong x reader - GENRE: ANGST ANGST ANGST, a little tiny tiny smut in there but it barely counts tbh - RATING: it’s a good M for mature. - WORD COUNT: 4,514 - WARNINGS: it’s sad and there’s a little smut in here. it’s not super explicit tho.
a/n: this honestly makes me sad, but i need to learn to write angst and simply doing it is one of the best ways. i hope you guys like it :,)
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---
---
Knock, knock, knock
“Y/N please, let me in.”
Your heart aches at every knock. Every fiber of your being is telling you to keep that door shut, to keep him out and forget about him forever. It’s easier this way, for his career and your’s. Everyone knows that nothing about this is okay, you know it and he does as well.
And yet, why do you find yourself standing up and walking towards the door?
You take slow steps walking towards your front door. You hear his knocking becoming even more desperate, almost as if he thought that the louder he knocked, the quicker you would open your door. 
“Y/N please… just let me in. I just want to talk to you...”
Your hand comes in contact with the doorknob, tears still spilling out of your eyes. You keep telling yourself not to open that goddamn door, over and over like a mantra in your head.
And yet, you find yourself turning the doorknob and looking into those wide tear-stained eyes you told yourself you’d never see again. The second the door opened wide enough for him to enter, he wrapped his arms around you, holding the back of your head, pressing your sobbing form against his body. You grasped onto the grey sweater he was wearing, sobbing. You want to break away from him. You want to live far away so you’ll never have to see him anymore. You want to push him away. You want to live a life without him. 
It’s crazy, really. 2 months ago, your mindset about him was complete the complete opposite. 2 months ago, you thought you’d never push him away. 2 months ago you were his best friend, the one friend that stuck with him when he became an idol. You told him everything and he to you. Any little issue and accomplishment, he told you. Any little exam you passed and depressing mood you’ve been in, you’ve confided in him. You never thought you would ever want to let him go, he was your lifeline, the one and only thing you’ve ever wanted to hold onto for the rest of your life. He was your best friend, your ride or die. He made you feel so safe and accepted every when you were at your worst. So, why are you sitting here, the most confused you’ve been your entire life, about him? Someone you used to be so sure, so confident that you would never, ever, have to worry about him of all people. Why him?
---
4 months ago
---
“Y/N! Open your door! I have news!” 
You move your laptop to the side as you walk towards your door, rolling your eyes. You know that voice like the back of your hand. You twist the door handle and pull, greeted by the excited expression of your best friend.
“Hyunzie? Why are you here at 10:00 at night? I thought you were at Sicheng’s place?” you quip.
She rolls her eyes, already walking inside of your apartment, “Wow, I love you too. But I was at Sicheng’s place but this news is way too important for me not to tell you now!” 
She stalks over to your kitchen, making herself and you a cup of tea. 
“Okay, Hyunzie, if it’s this important, why are you making me tea?” You ask while accepting the mug she hands you. 
“Because I would like to ‘spill the tea’” Her eyes light up, waiting for your response. 
You give her a true, mint condition, authentic, fake laugh, “Ha ha. Seriously, Hyunzie. I was finalizing some reports while watching the last episode of ‘The Amazing Irish Cooking Show’. What is so urgent that you had to cut me off from Moira taking home the gold?”
“Okay, first of all, Moira doesn’t even win, second of all, why are you so sassy today?” 
“Hyunzie.”
“Fine Mr. Grumpy Pants I’ll tell you. So, I’m just going to tell you the most important thing now since I don’t think you want the build up. We’re moving to Seoul.”
“Hyunzie, stop messing around, just tell me the news and go home, it’s getting late.”
“No, Y/N, I’m being 100% serious. You remember how Sicheng and Taeyong sent in your song to SM? They’re offering us a job!”
You look your best friend directly in her eyes. You know when she’s lying, but none of those signs are being shown right now.
You stutter, “We-- We’re leaving? You’re not kidding me, right? And-- and us? Did they--”
She purses her lips and nods, “Yes! Sicheng sent in my artwork as well, they want me to work for them for their next comeback! We’re moving to Seoul!”
You open your arms, enveloping Hyunzie in the biggest hug. Tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You did it. You’re finally getting a chance to be heard. You can finally put an end to your mindless desk job and do the thing you’ve dreamed of doing ever since, well, ever. 
You separate from the hug and press your hand to your burning cheeks, trying not to freak out too badly. “So, when do we leave?”
Hyunzie doesn’t miss a beat, “As soon as possible. Sicheng has already laid out a place for us to stay until we find a place. I’m ready to go whenever you are. I know it’ll take a while for you to actually quit your job and stuff, but I’ll help you pack and everything! We’re in this together Y/N.”
You nod and grab your laptop from where you set it down. “I’ll send in the 2 weeks now.” Hyunzie nods back, grabbing the remote and pressing play, putting your favorite show back on. 
A couple hours past and Hyunzie fell asleep on the side of your couch when you added the final touch to your reports and your two weeks notice. You yawn, looking towards your best friend. Your heart fills with so much love knowing that she is sticking with you throughout this entire event. Ever since her secret relationship with Sicheng started, she’s been nothing but the best version of herself. No, Sicheng is not the man who “magically” changed her, he knows that, but he also knows that Hyunzie doesn’t need him. Hyunzie and Sicheng compliment each other so well, not one personality being overshined by the other. The sneaking around between the two is something that most couples would hate, but due to the secretive and private nature of the both of them, they find it thrilling to flirt in the shadows and act as complete “strangers”.  
If Hyunzie never took the chance to talk to the cute regular who showed up in the cafe where she worked, you would have never had the chance to even send in your music to SM. Sure, Taeyong could have given you the inside scoop, but you never wanted to seem like you were using Taeyong. Sicheng was willing to stop by and he felt the same about you and your music. He agrees that your music should be shared and with the help of Taeyong, your music now has a greater chance than ever before. 
Ring ring ring
Your ears perk as you look at the caller ID. Speak of the devil.
“Y/N, it’s me! Did Hyunzie tell you the news? I’m so sorry, I finally got a free chance to talk to you, I’m actually in the States right now with the rest of the member--”
“Hey Taeyong-ie, and yes, Hyunzie is actually sleeping on my couch at this very moment. She told be the information like an hour ago? Look, I can’t thank you enoug--”
“Nonsense, I’ve always known your music should be shared. I just didn’t know what time would be best and apparently Sicheng just sent it in today, and I wasn’t even there to see everyone’s reactions!”
You giggle, “Don’t worry about it, Youngie. I’m still in shock with everything right now.” 
“I know, it’s a crazy feeling isn’t it? I can’t even remember what went through my mind when I passed my audition.”
“I honestly am not sure with anything I’m feeling, but I have one thing for certain.”
“Hm?”
“I can’t wait to work with you on the daily. It’ll be just like when we were kids.”
You can practically hear his smile through the phone, your heart flutters at the thought. 
“I know Y/N! It’ll be just like old times! I can’t wait for you to meet the rest of the members, I just hope Johnny and Jaehyun can turn down the flirtiness when you get here. We have no room for any relationships, except for the godly couple of Hyunzie and Sicheng, they are the exception.”
“Amen. Well, I just finished my two weeks. I’m going to send it in tomorrow and begin packing as soon as I can.”
“I’m glad! You can do so much better than that mindless job, Y/N. I always knew you could… You’ve always been so -- What? What do you mean Xuxi broke the entire light structure? -- I’m so sorry Y/N, I have to take care of this. Look, text me if you need anything, I’m down to help you with whatever you need. We leave the States in three days, so I’ll be home to help you by then. I’ll see you when I get home!”
“It’s okay, Youngie, you have your leader duties to attend to. Tell Lucas to be careful and take it easy on yourself, okay? I’ll see you soon, thank you for everything.”
“Thank you too, bye bye!”
The call ends and you hold your phone close to your chest. Even just the sound of Taeyong’s voice makes you happy beyond belief. Imagining spending everyday with him fills you with so much elation, it’s hard to hold back. Taeyong and you grew up together, best friends before you even met Hyunzie. Together, you and him could conquer the world. Your parents would say that, even his sister. You both were notorious for talking the ears off of anyone and everyone and even conducting elaborate pranks you pulled on his sister and even your family members. When he joined SM, he had to move away to Seoul while you stayed in your hometown. He knew that he didn’t want to lose contact with you, and did all he could to make sure you would never lose this close bond the two of you have. There are underlying feelings between you two, you just can’t quite pinpoint it. Or your mind simply won’t let you knowing about all of that negative backlash that you would receive. 
A loud snore shakes you from your thoughts as your eyes shoot towards Hyunzie’s sleeping form. You giggle lightly, grabbing the blanket that drapes off of the side of the bed and lay it on your best friend. You turn off the lamp then head off to your room, getting ready to start this new era of your life. 
---
2 weeks (and, like, 2 days) later
---
Surprisingly, with the help of your movers and all of the free members of NCT, you were able to move and unpack almost instantly. Hyunzie and you basically sold all of your old furniture to buy new ones, so the only things you both had to worry about was your clothes and such. The new apartment is filled with loud music and laughs all throughout as the members all work hard to help you build all of your new furniture from the iconic Ikea. Hyunzie and Sicheng occupy themselves with the coffee table, flirting and lightly arguing more than building the actual surface. You, Johnny, and Taeyong busy yourselves in the kitchen, sorting out all of the dishes and pans, Johnny’s main goal is carefully placing all of your important bowls and dishes in the high shelf. 
“Again, thank you so much for all of your help,” You say, handing Johnny a decorative bowl your mother gave you as a gift when you moved to your own place for the first time.
“It’s no problem! We’re in between comebacks right now, so all we really do is wait for the Dreamies to post ASMR videos or my JCC stuff, but sometimes taking a break and doing things like this is better than filming everything 24/7 y’know? It’s almost therapeutic.” Johnny says cheerfully, giving you a gentle smile. 
“So Y/N,” Johnny begins, lifting the next box and moving to the next set of cabinets, “How did you and Taeyong meet? I know you guys grew up together, but like what’s the history?”
You smile, looking at the boy in the living room who is currently settling the argument between Sicheng and his girlfriend. 
“Well, historically, we’ve just been close friends,”
“No, no. Like, romantically. I’ve seen the way Taeyong lights up when he talks about you. There’s no way there’s no history between the two of you.”
You hesitate when you hand him the next plate. He is right, it’s not like there wasn’t anything going between the two of you, there definitely was something, “Well… if I’m being completely honest, there was. But it all ended when he left.”
Johnny nods, “I see, I see. Well, never say never! You’re back now, so anything could happen. And I mean, if it doesn’t work with him.... I know this tall, Chicago man that is available…” 
He smirks at you suggestively. You pull the towel that rests on his neck then hit his side.
“Hey hey, don’t hate the player, hate the game.” He laughs. You roll your eyes as you grab the empty box and put it in the pile of empty boxes. 
The rest of the afternoon goes rather smoothly as everyone finishes up with your’s and Hyunzie’s apartment. You and Taeyong sit on the couch while Hyunzie and Sicheng sit on the ground, leaning against the coffee table they assembled together. Hyunzie leans her head on Sichengs shoulder, dozing off. A movie plays in the background while you and Taeyong talk softly.
You stretch while Taeyong grabs your attention.
“Y/N, I just wanted to let you know that I’m so happy you’re here now.”
You smile at you him, “I am, too. I finally feel like I’m doing something worth my time, you know?”
He nods at you, “I know what you mean. Look, I also want to apologize for not being there for you--”
“--Tae, I’m going to stop you right there. I completely understand, I wouldn’t still be your best friend if I didn’t understand. I love you, more than you could ever know, Tae. You never have to apologize to me for anything.”
He gives you a somber smile, then gently places his hand over yours, “Thank you for being you. I love you, too.”
Your heart clenches, hearing him say those words truly fills you with joy. You know that he said it platonically, but you for sure didn’t. You honestly don’t mind it being a one-sided love. It’s better this way for everyone. Well, everyone except for you. But you were at peace with it. You know that Taeyong simply can’t be with you; the repercussions are too extreme. But right now, he isn’t Taeyong, the leader of NCT. He’s Lee Taeyong, your childhood best friend and the man you’re completely and utterly in love with.
---
2 months later
---
Your life as a songwriter has been amazing for its first month. Your song was recorded with all of the boys singing it wonderfully; the head producer said the songs you wrote were some of NCT’s best. 
You sit in a studio, laying some tracks over each other when you hear a knock at the door. The clear glass door shows the handsome features of Taeyong and you smile at him, stepping out of your chair to let him in.
He lifts up a plastic bag filled, two boxes of sushi inside. Your eyes light up as you walk with him to the couch inside of the studio.
“I got you your favorite,” he smiles while taking out a box for you.
“You know me so well,”
“Of course I do! I also know that you’re not going to be able to break these chopsticks evenly.”
Snap. Right as he says that, you broke your chopsticks, unevenly at the top. You stick your tongue out at him, giving him some sass.
“Okay you, you’re right but you didn’t have to be.”
He laughs, “I’m sorry. I just can’t resist. Anyway, how is the song-writing going? Are you giving Renjun any insane lines?”
You shake your head, “I’m actually just working on the beat for the rap track right now. Jaemin and Jeno have really increased their rap game from what I can remember. They can deal with something super complex.”
Taeyong nods, “Who would you say is your favorite rapper right now?”
“Between Jaemin and Jeno?”
“No, just in general.”
“NCT in general? Or in general, general?”
“In general, general! Y/N, stop bouncing around the question,” he whines slightly. You snicker. You know he’s trying to get you to say his name, but you won’t give him that satisfaction.
“Well, my favorite rapper right now has to be the rap god of NCT.”
“See! Was that so--”
“Yes, Mark Freaking Lee. Baby Lion really knows whats up.”
“O-Oh…” Taeyong suddenly finds his sushi really interesting as his gaze isn’t on you anymore.
You punch his arm, “Stop pouting dummy, of course I’m kidding. You’re my favorite rapper by default.”
His expression lights up, “Hehe, thank you.”
You both finish up the meal, happy and full. A chime goes off on your phone and you check it, your stomach drops. Even though it’s only your second month working for SM, other companies have noticed your work and they want you to work for them. SM gives you a pretty paycheck, but these other companies want to give you more. After they saw your work with NCT’s comeback, they want to see what else you can do. Other companies are offering you more money for your songs and you genuinely don’t know what to do.
“Tae, I have to tell you something.”
He knows that tone. He knows that you want to talk to him about something serious. “Let’s go for a walk.” 
---
You walk outside, your breath coming out as puffs of clouds because of the cold air. Taeyong walks beside you, walking perfectly at your side.
You hide your head in your scarf, attempting to warm your cheeks, as you sigh.
“Yongie, JYP is offering me a job. They’re willing to pay me almost double what SM is paying me right now.”
Taeyong stops walking as you do too.  “Y/N! That’s amazing!”
You sigh, “That’s the thing. I want to take it, but I love working for SM and more importantly, I love working with you.”
Taeyong sighs and places his hands on your shoulder, causing you to look up at him, “Look, distance has never been an issue with us. Whatever choice you make, you’ll make the right one. I’ll be by your side no matter what happens.”
“Yeah bu--”
“No! No buts. No matter what happens, we’ll be okay Y/N, I promise.”
You look up at him. You take in his beautiful face, something you’re so glad you can see it up close. You look at his big doe eyes, his angled nose and jawline that seem like they were sculpted by the gods themselves. You pay close attention to his lips that are formed in a slight pout. You never realized how soft his lips looked before. You question how they might feel against--
Woah. Where did that come from? 
You sniff as the lump in your throat isn’t so tight anymore. You look back up to his eyes and nod. You know you’ll be happy with whatever you choose because you have him. He gives you a light hearted smile then he reaches for your cold hand, holding it in his warm ones. Your heart flutters, but you don’t question him. This is exactly the amount of comfort you need right now. 
You guys continue your walk, hand in hand, his warmth reassuring you that everything will be okay.
Click. Click. Click.
---
3 months later
---
This all leads you  here. That night, you were being reckless and you or Taeyong didn’t think about the repercussions. Taeyong walked you home that night and you woke up to your social media and your email and your texts all full beyond belief.
New SM employee already cozies up to NCT’S Leader, Lee Taeyong
“Who is this girl? She’s a nobody.”
“It finally makes sense how she got into SM! It’s all Taeyong’s doing!”
“I can’t believe someone is taking our Taeyong away from us! She’s not nearly good enough for him!”
“What does Taeyong see in a girl like her??? She’s not even pretty.”
You read all those comments and immediately shut down. You didn’t realize what had happened that night until you read who the source was from. Dispatch saw you and Taeyong that night and ran with the story. Your whole career and Taeyong’s career was ruined. Hyunzie ran into your room that morning, throwing your phone away from you. You cried. Because that one night, you were so reckless, you ruined your best friends career. You packed a bag then headed back to your hometown, you needed to be away from there for a while.
From that moment, you cut off all ties you had with Taeyong, not even talking to him after that event. You were only thinking for him. It’s better for everyone this way. You took the job with JYP and you have been working there ever since. 
You moved back in with Hyunzie after everything died down a bit. She promised you that she wouldn’t let Taeyong in when he came, but it seemed that he didn’t want to see you either. He didn’t visit you after he learned you moved away. He was away on tour when you came back, so you knew you didn’t have to avoid him.
Except for now.
He just returned from tour and it brings you back here, he’s knocking at your door. God, of all the times Hyunzie chose to be with Sicheng, it had to be now. You’re weak, you open the door and he lets himself in as he hugs you. Your tears spilling into his shirt. 
He holds you tight and he holds you close, seeming scared that you would float away from him if he let go. He holds the back of your head into his chest as he leans into your neck, crying himself.
“Y/N, why?” he sobs quietly. “What happened?”
You don’t answer. You quietly cry into his shirt. You don’t know why. You thought it would be best for everyone this way, but now, in his arms, you realize it wasn’t.
He breaks away from the hug and holds your face in his hands, his tear stained eyes staring into yours. You don’t think it’s possible for your heart to break anymore than it already has, but it does when you see his glossy eyes. He wipes the tears that spill from your eyes as he places his forehead against yours. 
He whispers so softly, “Please, don’t leave me.”
Again, you don’t respond. You gently brush your lips against his and he returns your kiss. He kisses you slowly, your heart clenches. This moment is the sweetest you’ve ever had, but it’s equally the saddest. You’re finally doing the thing you’ve wanted to do for the longest time, but why does it hurt?
You break away from the kiss as he keeps his forehead on yours. You close your eyes, trying to savor the moment. You feel safe, you feel protected, you feel love. 
You know none of this can’t last.
Those happy emotions you feel make everything so much worse. You know that he can’t stay. You know that it can’t be like this. You know that your heart will just break in the end.
He kisses you again, this time with more passion. It hurts, but you can’t stop.
“Y/N please, I’m sorry.”
“Prove it to me, then. Don’t stop kissing me.”
He doesn’t. He holds you so close because it’s almost as if he knows the second that he lets go, you let go too.
Your back hits your mattress, his lips still on yours. Clothes are shed, tears still fall. Your bodies mold as one as he proves to you, again and again, the extent of his love. You cry even more. You love him so much, but that’s why you can’t be with him. 
When he holds you, when he kisses you, it’s the sweetest thing. That’s why it hurts the most.
The life of an idol isn’t one for you and you know that. It fits Taeyong well, which is why this is your last night with him. You love him so much, that’s why you can’t keep him. He was never your’s to keep.
You look over at his sleeping form, his bottom half covered by your covers. You lean over and kiss his head one more time before you stand up. You quietly pack up your bag then head out the door. JYP has a branch in Japan that they want you to head and you were on the fence about it. 
Seeing Taeyong one more time helped you make up your mind. You leave a note for Hyunzie and send her a text. You found a last minute flight to Tokyo, you bought the last ticket, and you’re on your way.
You love Lee Taeyong too much to stay with him. Staying with him will only taint his image.
When he held you, when he kissed you, it was the sweetest thing. 
But it’ll just have to live on in that memory.
---
i hate writing angst for this exact reason....
this is my first official angsty piece tho! i hope you guys liked it :)
it’s been a while but my writer’s block is finally gone! i’ll continue on with more fluffy pieces for this series :)))
anyway, this part may have a part 2? we’ll see the vibes of the lyrics
- amy <3
26 notes · View notes
snkpolls · 5 years
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SnK Chapter 118 Poll Results
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The chapter 118  poll closed with 1,311 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated.
Rate the Chapter 1,217 responses
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“Sneak Attack” is the second highest rated chapter this year with only 1.2% expressing extreme unhappiness with the chapter.  The overwhelming majority (93.7%) rated it a 4 or 5 on our 1-5 scale.
A chapter I finally enjoyed with a lot of developments other than just Titan bashing. It would've been perfect if we also got some answers about Levi/Hange and Historia but well we can't have everything I suppose.
Finally got some great character development that is amazing payoff after all these years! The Shiganshina vets, Paradis Commanders, and Marley crew all had great moments!
Impressive how so many of the many many plotlines in the air were allowed some great development in just one, insane chapter.
I loved this chapter. I feel like shingeki is really at it's best when we have character moments and plenty of dialogue.
the chapter was too wholesome, I'm scared for next chapter
Which of the following was your favorite moment? 1,263 responses
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“Mikasa leaving her scarf behind” has the slight majority, but only a few percentage points separate the top  choices. “Falco’s confession” and “Armin rallying everyone to Eren’s side” follow in second and third.
Mikasa is best girl, she is no ones slave ! I just need ch 119 now!
Go Go Mikasa!!!
I'm so into Armin having some kind of game plan and Mikasa moving forward.
I love this chapter. It was an action chapter but damn there were so many touching, human moments it made me so emotional. Connie outburst about being constantly betrayed (pls give this boy a break, he lost so much), Mikasa leaving the scarf behind, Nile helping Falco and speaking about his daughters, Grice bros reunion hug, FALCO'S CONFESSION, Zeke and Pieck still caring about each other.....
I'm so glad to see I was right about Onyankopon lying to Yelena because he had no other choice and still be loyal to the 104th and Hanji!!!
Well, better late than never; I am truly happy to see Mikasa’s development, being more independent.
WOW JEAN MY SON YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE
Who was this chapter’s MVP? 1,245 responses
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Armin managed to claim the title of MVP this chapter, and it’s no wonder. Not only did he show some much-needed optimism regarding Eren’s current state, but he also chose to believe in Onyankopon’s sincerity regarding his lack of any awareness of the wine plot.
Honorable mention to Nile, who doesn’t show up in these polls often - but when he does he makes sure to give Armin a worthy adversary for the title of MVP. Best dad? Best dad.
A little insulted Yelena isn't an option for MVP, she is literally the ONLY interesting character this chapter
I believe in Armin. He is the understanding character who's really trying to understand things about Eren.
I believe in his statement that Eren's hatred towards Mikasa is a lie.
I love Jean. He is surely honest that he can't let Eren die and is willing to help.
Finally Armin puts it together for everyone
I'd say everybody was the MVP in this chapter: Onyan for being honest with AMJC Jean radiating bi energy towards Eren Mikasa for dropping her scarf Connie for being done with betrayal Nile for being a family man Pixis for admitting he drank too much Falco for confessing to Gabi Gabi for letting go of her prejudice AND OF FUCKING COURSE GENERAL MAGATH AND PIECK FOR MAKING THEIR MONKEY HUNT SUCCESSFUL HAHAHAHAHAHA
How dare you not have Yelena in the options for MVP! LOL but seriously woman is batshit crazy, u guys should have a "who did better" question comparing her psycho face with Armin's and Jean.
Nile deserves to live and see his family
Each of the commanding officers had a big moment. Whose did you enjoy the most? 1,252 responses
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Nile may have only come in second place for MVP of the chapter, but most (64.5%) respondents thought that he had the best moment of any commander who made an appearance this time - taking care of Falco and helping to reunite him with his family. Pixis was a distant-runner up (17.3%), with Magath and Shadis nearly tied for third place with about 9% of the vote each.
Nile is best dad
Magath’s shot might have been my favorite moment if he hadn’t missed. >.<
I'd fight a bear just to save Shadis :((((
Seriously though, who is Shadis trying to impress?
This is gonna be long but OOF I cannot express enough how much I loved the little Shadis panel. Bless him.
Has Armin convinced Yelena of his loyalty to her cause? 1,264 responses
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Armin seems to be acting like he’s on Yelena’s side once again, and her first reaction to his comments was visceral to say the least, but then she seemed to warm up.  57.9% of you think she’s rebutted acting with acting and is only pretending to give Armin her blessing, whereas only 15.4% think Armin’s Oscar worthy performance won her over.  26.7% don’t have a clue about what this crazy girl is thinking.
Yelena and Armin are both playing each other.
Yelena is CRACKERS and I love her.
Yelena isn't suspicious of Armin, just yandere levels of jealous that he will get to see the Jaeger on Jaeger action up close and personal
Yelena is so out of her mind it actually makes me think if there's something more to her?
Yelena gave me nightmares tho.
Yelena's crazy face scared the shit out of me.
yelena looks like she eats the gum underneath desks
Would knowing Falco drank spinal fluid deter Zeke from screaming? 1,263 responses
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Well… 8% of the people who took this poll have a level of optimism that is truly admirable. The other 92% have far less trust in Zeke’s compassion and empathy, most leaning towards the “Hell no” category - that Falco’s wine ingestion wouldn’t even be a consideration if it came to it. Press F for Falco.
After he’s told Falco has ingested his spinal fluid. He’ll give a cold look and say “ah... I see. *inhale* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
When he learns about Falco's confession and screams because he doesn't want any Grice-Braun baby on his watch
I scream, you scream, we all scream for- Oh shoot Falco's a titan
Zeke screams when Zeke wants to
Do you think Nile will live to see his family again? 1,262 responses
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Commander Nile Dok is one of the many citizens to have ingested the spinal fluid wine.  If they get transformed into titans, Nile would never get to see his wife Marie and their daughters again.  62.3% of you think he won’t reunite with them, while only 14.2% think he’ll see them again.  23.5% don’t know what they think his fate will be.
Nile deserves to live and see his family
Well, at least Nile and Pixis are goners for sure, but I still think that even if they are titanized, it isn't necessarily their end, because the power of the founder can be used to change the molecular structure of Titans, so if they don't die immediately Eren theoretically could turn them back into humans
please let nile see his family he's so underrated and he deserves it thank you mr. isayama
Which character’s feelings toward Eren best align with your own? 1,257 responses
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Close to half the fandom agree with Armin that Eren is only doing this because he has no choice. In second place, almost a third agree with Jean’s “He’s a bastard but he’s cool.” The remaining ¼ of the fandom are divided between Mr. Braus (“Can we just head on home yet”) and Connie’s “I’m sick of being betrayed.”
Connie's anger is valid (fuck Eren)
Jean is out of character for part of it and I really hope that Armin has a secret plan to subdue Eren/at least get angry at Eren for all the shit he's put them through. Connie's right; Eren has been completely shitty and betrayed them even if he does it because he thinks he's saving them or something.
I'm glad Connie hasn't lost his ability to speak his mind, and is sick and tired of everyone's shit.
Armin wonders if Eren will use the rumbling to wipe out the world. What do you think? 1,249 responses
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In this chapter, Armin thought back to Eren’s monologue at the ocean about killing everyone in the outside world. 56.2% of you don’t think that’s Eren’s goal at the moment, but that he would be willing to do it if push came to rumble. 20.1% think his end goal is in fact to flatten the earth, whereas 15.8% don’t believe Eren would ever do that in 2000 years.
ern got sneky plan up his slev
I think Eren intends to use the rumbling to destroy the world, but have confidence that Armin will be able to show him it's not the only way
Isayama has been making it so its not clear one way or the other. There are arguments for and against all of the options. I am waiting for a different plan altogether, but I would be fine with either way really.  
Eren himself will never do that. But if he is influenced by the memories of so many Attack Titan holders and the will to always move forward and fight, he probably will.
Eren will use the rumbling to deter the world, not destroy it unless he has to.
He'll use it but for a purpose we don't know about yet. Possibly a way related to the S1 miner story and the walls going deeper underground.
I think that Eren's ideology of being born into this world as a free person is something that isn't just applied to Eldians.  We know that Eren learned that those across the ocean are the same as those behind the walls.  Despite the hatred that parts of the world may have, I don't think Eren wants to take away the freedom of those who never knew any better.
The slight pause in Armin's expression seems to tell me there's more to what he's thinking! Not just rumbling  
I imagine we'll follow the time-loop theory and Eren will use the rumbling to rewrite (and rewind) the world to be one without any existence or recollection of titans. Or some weird shit like that.
Eren will turn all Eldian women into anime cat girls. That’s what I would do.
Do you think Armin is being genuine in his optimism about Eren? 1,248 responses
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With all of the opinions on Eren floating around at the moment, Armin tries to convince the others that their friend isn’t on the side of evil.  The majority, at about 60% believe that Armin’s not positive of what he’s saying, but is trying to be optimistic.  32.5% think Armin truly believes Eren’s had no choice in what side he’s on.   Only 6.2% think Armin’s lying and tricking Yelena in that way.
He is being naive and basing his thoughts on his own perception of Eren. Or, he knows that Eren is up to something but needs to convince the others to work with Eren.
I think he’s pretending to support Eren to trick both the 104th and Yelena. The emotion he had after Eren hurt Mikasa was real,  no way he’s just over that. But I think it stands true that without Eren, Pradise’s fight would be lost. After everything that happened, though, why would the 104th want to help Eren? Thus Armin knew he would have to manipulate them (and Yelena, for other reasons) for the greater good in the end.
I'm not sure. He wasn't against feeding Eren to someone else if he rejected the SC and now he seems to stand behind him? I think he wants to play along until he knows the truth for sure.
He's deluding himself. He knows Eren is going to destroy the world but doesn't want to believe it.
Yes I believe so. Armin felt like he did not understand Eren anymore because his actions didn’t make sense. That was until Yelena expelled their plan to him in prison. I think that was the missing piece that solved Armin’s puzzle. He may not be certain about the exact plan Eren has but he has enough to go on that Eren would never agree to euthanise people.
I don't think he fully trusts Eren, but he knows that right now, whatever plan Eren has, keeping him alive will be best for Paradise's side. I think he definitely wants to see the good in Eren, but he also realises there might be darker motives in him, though he won't tell the others that in order to rally them properly.
He’s half trying to convince others that Eren is a liar, and half trying to convince himself. Armin just wants to understand, and I relate him.
*clenches fist* A C T I N G
Mikasa is leaving her scarf behind as she heads out for battle. How do you feel about that? 1,251 responses
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The scarf coming off is a big moment for Mikasa, and most of us (59.7%) are optimistic that this is the beginning of some great development for her. For others (17.5%) the heartache is just too real. There was quite a bit of hopefulness in the write ins though!
MIKASAAAAAA <3 ok but... she's asking all the right questions!! putting away the scarf!!! thats my baby!!!
I was really excited about the scarf choice! I am not so much a fan of people misinterpreting what the scarf means though... Take a shot everytime you see someone say 'finally some development for mikasa'."
It keeps pushing along the development she has been receiving since the Time Skip. After her conversation with Eren, she more than likely associates it with the Ackerman Bond.  Her going out without is a statement that she's truly doing things by own will. Will it be the last time she wears it? I don't think so.
The scarf is her sanctuary and her cage. Leaving it behind is bittersweet and I think the next time she wears it (if she does so) it'll symbolize something totally new.
I want to see Eren's reaction to noticing Mikasa without her scarf
I'm glad that Mikasa decided to leave the scarf behind. She needs to live her life and become strong, independent, smart, mature woman. Being attached to Eren was only stopping her from her own growth. It doesn't matter if Eren was honest while saying about hating her. Mikasa is now opening her eyes and I hope that she will keep moving forward.
Mikasa removing her scarf leads into a perfect segway for Eren wrapping it around her again, as he promised in chapter 50. So I am actually quite excited for that as an Eremika fan, rather than worried.
Chekhov's scarf incoming.
I am more concerned about whatever the hell's going on inside Louise's head as she stares at that scarf.
Louise will take it for one reason or another.
The Marleyan's have new anti-titan rifles. Who will they be used on first? 1,239 responses
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The anti-titan guns will no doubt be useful fighting the shifters but a slight majority of the fandom (36.7%) thinks the wine drinkers will be the first victims. 36.4% think they’ll be targeting one of the shifters first.
It’s taken 27 chapters, but Gabi has finally realized the people of Paradis are not devils. How do you feel about her character development? 1,257 responses
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Gabi’s been in the story for quite a while now, and has finally come around to the idea that not all the walldians are evil devils.  Despite criticism of Gabi being a common sight, the majority of fans, at 37.8%, loved her development and are excited to see what she does next.  27.1% weren’t fans at first but have enjoyed her development, and 23.2% still don’t love her but she’s grown on them. Only 11.9% haven’t enjoyed anything Gabi’s had to offer the narrative.
Feeling validated in my love for Gabi, I'm so glad she finally reached this realisation!!
Granted, Gabi isn't nearly as bad as she was when she started, but her realization came way too late for me to feel anything for her. The damage at this point is already done, so I can't feel anything but complete disdain for her and could care less whether she lives or dies (though it seems like even now a lot of people are still rooting for the latter)
Gabi is best girl.
As expected from Gabi, so obvious and predictible "development " she is the proof that isayama isnt god, becouse everyone do mistakes. Worst manga character
I loved Gabi’s character development. I hope that she’ll do something useful in the next chapters.
I couldn't possibly care less about Gabi's "development". My interest/investment in this series died when Gabi killed Sasha and Isayama started painting the SC as "the bad guys". I didn't sign on for this BS.
I'm glad that Gabi had her moment of realization. It's easy to forget that she's just a child, brought up to believe certain things, and it's coming to that realization that matters the most.
Loved gabi’s character development so so much which i was waiting for. I’d call this chap kind of a heartwarming one in many ways. can’t wait for ch119.
How cute was Falco’s confession? 1,251 responses
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In the midst of battle, Falco confesses his feelings to the girl of his dreams, one Gabi Braun.  Over half of you (52.1%) gave this confession a 5/5 on the cuteness scale.  25.6% rated 4 cute blushes out of 5, 14.1% were right in the middle at 3, and only 8.3% rated it negatively.
Falco is so pure.... WHAT A GOOD BOY.
Gabi and Falco's scene this chapter really hit me. So much beauty and heart. I feel like the story would miss something without them, aside from their relevance to the plot.
The Gabi-Falco moment wasn't that important to me since I literally just don't feel any particular attachment to the characters, but it WAS important to the story and it needed it happen.
Falco's confession was too cute and pure... oh my god I AM WEAK FOR YOUNG LOVE.
I loved Falco's confession and how him and Gabi were staring at each other at the end of the chapter. They were just so fucking cute.
Wow, for once I found myself having fun with this chapter instead of stressing out. Also, I DIED when Falco confessed to Gabi, that was the cutest scene I've witnessed since 108 and I couldn't have asked for a better birthday chapter. Thanks, Isayama!
Gabi and Falco are getting too much attention but their moments were cute nonetheless.
Falco is sooo cute! Loved that confession scene.
IM OFFICIALLY A GABI STAN, FALCO IS A CUTIE
Is there a chance Falco and Gabi will get married and live happily ever after? 1,260 responses
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In a series as upbeat and cheerful as this, a happy ending for a young couple is certain!  Right?  RIGHT? 45.2% know the series they’re reading and are bracing for the worst form Isayama, and another 36.6% doubt it will end up all rainbows and smiles for this blossoming romance. 14.8% are holding out hope that it’s possible, and only 3.3% don’t think those little snots deserve a shot at happiness.
As cute as Falco's confession was, how is he going to marry Gabi and give her a happy life if he's going to inherit the Armored and then die in 13 years anyway?
Falco's confession was like a drop of purity and innocence in this cruel world. I wish they could live happily. That would be beginning of something new and hopeful.
Now when I say "they don't deserve a happy ending", I'm really just referring to Gabi. Falco deserves nothing but the best.
I'm also glad Gabi is finally awake, idk how I feel about Falco being some weird scapegoat shield foil for her (taking the hits every single time she gets herself into trouble), but I don't think her character development has peaked yet. She's too much of a parallel to Eren to be done already.
Bless Falco, he is just too pure for this cruel world... or maybe he is just what this cruel world needs.
Romances never end well in this series but somehow I hope that this one can come to fruition. I’ll be hurt if Falco actually dies. Maybe that’s what it means to suffer as a braun.
Can't wait for next chapter. PROTECT FALCO, COLT AND GABI AT ALL COST.
When will Zeke scream? 1,246 responses
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A solid 35% of the fandom believe Zeke will only scream if he’s totally cornered by enemy troops. Following behind that at 26.4%, respondents feel that he will be doing it immediately in the next chapter. 20.5% think it will happen if and when he is torn out of his titan by an enemy soldier. A small sliver of respondents don’t think it will actually happen.
As soon as he steps on that Lego
Once he notices the people with balck arm bands who are gathered in the front line as pixis ordered, it will be his only salvation... again.
Depends on how bad the interference gets between him and Eren. He panics whenever things don’t go his way and that would be enough of a distraction to reach Eren. Although once they titanise they will also try to eat any surrounding shifters excluding Eren because of Zeke’s influence. It’s a reliable last resort for him.
If Eren gets to him and does his own plan. Once Zeke realizes Eren didn't uphold to the euthanasia plan, he'll scream
The only way he won’t scream is if Armin transforms and turns the tide of the battle. It seems that Zeke is only going to scream as a last resort, but if the battle doesn’t shift back in his favor soon, then he will for sure. I think it’s on Armin at this point.
Not if Eren has a say in it. For all he knows the 104th are still in the building, along with anyone infected that he cares about. If Zeke tries to scream, I feel that Eren will somehow stop him.
Will the Rumbling be activated in this battle? 1,244 responses
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66.6% of respondents (is this an omen?) feel that we will at least see a partial rumbling during this battle. 23.4% feel solid about Eren not activated it at all, and the remaining 10% of respondents feel sure that Eren is going to unleash the big guns.
Destroying the world would be too simple. Eren might try to use the wake up call and make people to see that everyone is the same.
I'm still unsure whether this battle will lead to a full or partial rumbling. There are characters who are still missing the call: Kiyomi, Historia, Hitch, Annie…
I don't think Eren is going to activate the rumbling when he touches Zeke. I think he has something else up his sleeve.
Is it wrong that I WANT the Yeagerbros to use the Rumbling? It will basically wipe out the rest of the outside world that has done nothing but persecute Eldians and try to exterminate the protagonists. I see nothing wrong with this 'genocide' plan of theirs.
Eren using the rumbling to destroy the rest of the world makes no sense, especially after what he told Reiner and the fact that it’s what everyone assumes he wants to do.
Zeke is now close enough to titanize those infected by the wine. Do you think he'll do it? 1,251 responses
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Reflective of the earlier question about when Zeke will scream (we may not have realized we got a little redundant, oops!), the majority of the fandom believe that Zeke will definitely titanize the wine infected Eldians in the area. A small 11% have faith that he won’t do it.
Zeke stop being such a retard already and let's get to the good stuff! The rumbling the scream! Come on dude!
I both want Zeke to scream for cool storytelling but I don’t because I love the people who would be affected
Zeke screaming is too predictable, same with falco becoming a titan shifter, I will be a little disappointed if isayama does that
Is this the final battle? 1,252 responses
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While a third feel that this is climactic enough to constitute the finale, a clear majority (68.1%) feel certain that there is still more to come after this battle
This can’t be the final arc because it doesn’t really feel like the strongest arc. Isayama would make the final arc amazing
We're in the endgame now
If this is really the final battle I worry it'll be rushed. Mikasa only just started her development to "get free" from Eren and Armin still hasn't lived up to Erwin's legacy. Then there's Hange and Levi, who I still hope to see in action again. Same for Annie. If we don't get to see female titan in action one last time, I'll be disappointed. Not sure how can that happen, since she's still back in Wall Sheena (and I hoped Armin would see her wake up), but please...
Prediction time! Death flags are everywhere, who do you think will die in this battle?
Unlike the other groups in this section of the poll, a few hundred people chose not to make any selections for the Survey Corps, expressing confidence that they will all survive this battle.
When we look at combined results, the death flags are waving most prominently for Floch (741 votes), the senior military (650), Reiner (598), Connie (594), Porco (588), and Yelena (583).
Senior Military 1,196 responses
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When Nile waved goodbye at Falco, it wasn't just meant for him. It was also meant for us. This chapter really felt like this is the last we will see of Nile as a human. The next time we see him, he will be a Titan for sure.
My heart breaks for Keith. He also drank from the wine, so he´s a goner? What do you guys think?
Survey Corps 916 responses
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As much as I love Jean, it really hurts  me that I chose him and Connie as the next characters in the Survey Corps that will die, because it feels like they will.  I really hope I'm wrong.
Connie will die soon, mark my words.
I didn't really catch any death flags for the survey corps? Maybe hange or levi but that's it
Jaegerists/Volunteer 1,133 responses
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if floch dies next chapter many extremely manly tears may be shed for that lovable nutter
Can Zeke just die? It's been 3 times he survived from death. It makes it predictable
I don't want Zeke to die, I don't want Zeke to be betrayed by Eren. Eren, please... My heart is breaking.
Marleyans 1,150 responses
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I have huge soft spots for both Nile and Falco and am in denial about their eventual fate :(
pieck must never die
I hope Reiner doesn't join Berthold just yet
reiner must die
It’s really great seeing Pieck get more spotlight, now all I need is her last name, and I can accept her probable death
If my boi Reiner were to die I'd drop the manga
Which titan power do you think Falco will inherit? 1,204 responses
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Will all of Falco’s warrior training pay off now that he’s in a situation where he might become a titan?  The most popular option at 55.4% is that he’ll inherit Reiner’s armored titan.  26.7% don’t think he’ll end up becoming a shifter at all. The Jaw and Beast were the next most popular choices, at 7.9% and 6.9% respectively.
The stage is set for Falco to inherit Reiner's titan.
I know the prevailing theory is that Falco will eat Reiner and get his power (and it'll probably happen too) but something about letting a kid inherit Ymir's curse all over again doesn't quite sit right with me. Like what Eren said: Falcon deserves a long life too. But I guess it's better than being titanized by Zeke's scream and shot by one of those guns.
No Colossus option? C'mon.
What would you most like to see next chapter? 1,219 responses
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Levi and Hange top the wish list with just over one fourth of the fandom (21.7%) hoping for an update on their condition. Eren and Zeke touching is second (17.6%) and Eren noticing his friends in the fray is third (16.2%).
Annie will reappear, DRINKS ON ME
I fucking hope Eren and Zeke touch bc damn this chapter seemed to be so short and we’ve been eating for so long.
Glad to see Jean mentioning Levi & Hange, makes me expect (and fear) that they will be included in the next chapter.
Hange and Levi plz
I hope we can get a glimpse of Eren's thought. I need his perspective more, more than anyone else's. And last but not least, Levi's condition.
I'm excited to see the gang join the battle
I'm genuinely at a point where this whole 'mystery MC motives' thing is making me want to drop the series for a while. Please just rip the bandaid off if Eren is going to be a legit ~villain~ or whatever, stop dragging this out for so long.
With this being the last chapter of the current volume now would be a perfect time to check in on levi and hange's conditions and perhaps could pace the way for some good angsty chapters that eventually lead to them two coming into this battle with a brilliant game changing fighting strategy (maybe some hange backstory too if we are lucky enough like cmon its the final arc and hanges the only main cast that hasnt had any hint of a background)
Eren and Zeke touching lol phrasing
At this point, around which chapter do expect the manga will conclude? 1,163 responses
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Not a whole lot has changed here since last month, but we had a slight increase in the percentage of respondents that think 130 or 134 will be the final chapter of the manga. The percentage of people who believe the manga will continue to chapter 138 or beyond has stayed about the same. Similarly, the people who think the manga will end at chapter 122 or 126 are hanging in there - and it doesn’t seem like they have been convinced otherwise.
Where do you primarily discuss the series? 1,141 responses
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While Reddit and Tumblr hold steady, Facebook has been making tiny gains in recent months. Thank you again to everyone who participated, regardless of what platform you are on! If you are on an underrepresented platform, please feel free to share the poll there.
Additional thoughts on the chapter?
Some of you have never been brainwashed by an evil regime and it shows.
I ache for Nile, we misjudged him, he is such a sweetheart with his three little girls! <3 I have a bad feeling he'll die, but I really, really hope he survives this, because from *his* original trio, he's the only one left. Mike and Erwin are gone. :(
A lot of people think Armin only function in this arc is just to blow up and follow Eren's game but I think he is going to become the third option in this conflict, as soon he confirms his fears about Eren true intentions with rumbling.
As for the titan serum wine victims, maybe they won't be affected if they don't hear Zeke's scream if they cover their ears hard enough
AVENGE YOUR SISTER, KAYA! DESTROY THE HATED ONE!
Eren is a shit. Who puts his friends and family of dead friend into a prison together with potential titans? If someone from Sasha's family dies because they were locked in Shingashina, Eren will be officially the worst person ever and I will root for his terrible and painful death.
Eren looked so pretty in that last panel
EREN PLEASE- DO SOMETHING. SAVE THE KIDDOS.
Finally the story is starting to progress again after months of nothing really happening that builds the story. Finally we are getting answers without getting anymore questions. This is a lot less infuriating than previous chapters have been.
i feel like there is going to be a lot of deaths tho since we are in for a large scale battle, mainly with all the people that consumed the wine.  but i still think  Hizuru will come into play here and in a dangerous way.  
I just hope a happy ending for everyone (or most of them) but knowing isayama, I will read happy endings only in fanfiction
I like Gabi now
I hope Mikasa realizes she’s NOT a slave and Eren’s Ackerman talk was bullshit. Ackermans are the most free ppl in this series
I wish for Eren not to turn like a villain, I want him to keep his same goals from the very beginning and save his friends, the Eldians, and unite them with Marley all together. I hope he can team up with Reiner and defeat Zeke. Most of all, I would like Mikasa to break her bonds she has with Eren and live for herself. And for Armin, to free Annie with the help of the Survey Corps and Reiner with Porco together so that Annie could fight on the right side for once, then return home peacefully.
If Armin isn't lying I'll eat one (1) entire issue of Bessatsu Shounen Magazine.
It didn’t focus as much on the fights as last time, focusing more on how the characters are being affected by the fight
It was amazing and it felt a bit more hopeful than the other chapters. But since it is supposed to be the last arc, something big will happen for sure and i am not ready XD!
Mikasa does not wear the protective shields. Foreshadowing? My Eekstinct tells me she is going to be injured in this battle and then Kiyomi makes a move that shock everyone, drags Mikasa away and keeps her promise of protecting her.    And then Hizuru arc begins EEEEEEEEK
Needs more Annie and Historia but still a 10/10. Should be 11/10 though.
One of the greatest cliffhangers ever. It created such a conflicting feeling in me. If Zeke doesn't die asap, he is going to scream. If he does, Eren won't be able to activate the rumbling to defeat Marley. It's two terrible results.
People could use some pointers from Yelena and stop looking at Eren as this messiah-like figure who is here to bring world peace or balance or any of that stuff. Eren doesn't fight for the world, he never did. He fights for the freedom of him and his people and if flattening the earth gets him that then so be it. After all, he will keep moving forward, until his enemies are destroyed.
Probably my favorite chapter out of the last year! I thought it was going to be more action heavy but there were so many touching character moments and I absolutely loved it for taking its time to touch on almost everyone
This is like the 4th time in 5 chapters that Zeke is on the brink of death and my poor heart can only take so much ;-;
Unpopular Opinion (don't kill me), I feel that Pieck is such a Mary Sue.  I get that she is highly skilled among the Warriors, but she has seriously only had one "mistake" since her introduction (Panzer Unit explosion).  Other Warriors such as Reiner, Bortolo Colon, even Zeke have suffered multiple beat downs throughout the story.  I just want her to not feel as invincible at times, as it seems she's always one step ahead.
We’ve heard little to nothing about Eren’s philosophy and state of mind since after the time jump (and even after the RTS arc ended), I think we’re in for some info soon enough
Yelena is the representation of all the creepy fangirls who just wanna protecc their otp change my mind
Well, if I wasn't right about anything else, I was right in that shit has completely gone down. Probably one of my favorite chapters in the whole manga.
With so many airships this month cant we just rename Attack on Titan to Attack on Airships ? :D
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77marvelimagines · 5 years
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Beneath The Mask
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Behind The Mask
Thor Odinson and Female!Reader
Prompt(s): HI! I am absolutely in loooove with your imagines!! I was wondering if you could do one where like the asguardian royal family has always had like a network of people assigned to protect them, and the reader gets assigned thor. so they’ve grown up together and she’s always kept stuff in and her secrets and then one day they’re just kinda hanging and she spills the beans? and ya know he’s like “danngggg. i’m here for you tho” and it’s fluffy? Sorry! I know this is long
Note(s): Hello!! Thank you for your kind words, and for the lovely prompt! <3 I always love writing about Asgard and the royal family. Sorry this got put on backlog for so long- college is a needy, needy child. Also, sorry it got long. I had a lot of fun thinking up their background and relationship. I hope you do enjoy tho! <3
Warning(s): None.
Word Count: 1711.
Ever since Thor Odinson had learned to walk, (y/n) had been by his side. Her job hadn’t started until sometime between adolescence and childhood, but it had always been an overshadowing fact nonetheless. She was to be there for him, in every way possible, whether it be mentally, emotionally, or physically. (y/n) was his bodyguard, his protection. Should she fail, even in the slightest, it could mean his demise. And it was made clear, very clear, that that should never happen.
She began training at the equivalence of the age of six. By age ten, two years before Thor’s own training would begin, (much to his jealousy) she was a master with the sword and two other types of weapons. Age fourteen, as masterful as the guards roaming the castle halls. When she and Thor turned eighteen, she was considered stronger than some of Asgard’s strongest warriors.
(y/n) made sure that the fact was known far and wide. No one was to mess with Thor Odinson. Not under her watch.
She was a warrior. An assassin. The trainer to Prince Loki’s own bodyguard, who was the equivalence of four years younger to both herself and Prince Thor. (y/n) was stoic, serious, and respectable. She was knowledgeable, because she had to be, and knew much about health and magic. The practice may have been looked down upon by warriors, as she’d discovered long before Prince Loki had, but she was good at it anyway.
She was good at anything and everything. Because she needed to be.
But beneath all that, the hard shell and the gruff attitude, (y/n) was a kind soul. She was gentle and knew just the right things to say to the right person at the right time. She liked birds and books and learning, liked laughing and having friends. Few knew her soft side, which was how she liked it. She’d grown up playing in the gardens with Thor, and at some point Loki and his own bodyguard, before starting her training for real. Of course she still talked and hung out with him- the two of them were encouraged to rely on each other, to be comfortable with one another, for they’d be stuck together until either her own or his demise (and if she had any say in it, for Asgard’s sake, it would be hers).
But the point still stood that she had emotions, and sometimes it was just so hard to not yell in frustration, or laugh at something that Fandral the Dashing had just blurted out loud right in front of the Allmother. It was hard to be someone she was not, behind her mask, when she worried about the family she barely saw and the education she had (forcibly) given up. And try as she might to hide it, the people who really knew her always could tell when something was plaguing her mind.
Prince Thor happened to be one of those people.
His hand on her shoulder startled her away from the magic book she had splayed over her leg. Thor had less than a second to back away from the knife pointed at his throat.
“Whoa, (y/n)! Easy now,” he laughed, “it’s just me. Didn’t you hear me open your door?” (y/n) shook her head. Her and Thor’s rooms were separated by a single door, which usually creaked due to its age and use. Somehow, between the worrying of her thoughts and the re-read paragraph on the page, she’d neglected to listen. Thor shot her an apologetic smile as he extended a hand.
“Come to the tower roof with me. The stars are bright tonight and I want to see them.”
(y/n) raised an eyebrow, though closed her book anyway. “Since when do you like to look at the stars?”
Thor shrugged. “Sometimes it’s nice to. Come on!” He waved his arm, which was still outstretched. (y/n) took it, skepticism etched into her entire being, but Thor just grinned and dragged her along.
Together, the two of them snuck through the castle to the far north end. There was a tower there, old and abandoned. It was still structurally intact and sound, so there was no need to worry. It once belonged to the old royal magic department, which had since been disbanded. Dusty books and expired ingredients littered the small room at the top of the stairs, making any type of walking through the space difficult. After years of sneaking off, however, (y/n) and Thor wandered expertly through the mess to the window, where they hefted themselves onto the roof.
Thor was right. The stars really were bright. They twinkled without a care in the world, like the Norns had just adorned them to the night sky not even hours ago. The nebulae accented the inky blackness between with landscapes of color, lighting up the sky into something nearly indescribable. (y/n) sighed. She wished she could explore the universe to the cosmos end and back. Alas, she had a duty here, after all.
A nudge to her elbow startled her again. This time, (y/n) refrained from pulling out the knife hidden in her boot. Thor was undisturbed, however, instead gaze patient as he turned and stared at the stars above.
“You’ve been worried about something lately.”
“How would you know?” (y/n) said, knowing full well that Thor knew her like the back of his hand. The prince chuckled as he easily turned to sit, arms folded over his knees.
“Where do I start? With the targets you missed during archery practice today or the fact that Tiki almost won your sparring match?”
“He did no such thing!” (y/n) scoffed. She pointedly ignored the warm creep of blush on her neck. “I was distracted by the commotion that the stable hands were creating, that’s all. Tiki is getting better though. Loki has a good bodyguard.”
“Aye, though I’ve seen you fight and win battles in less time in the feast hall of all places, and you know how loud and rowdy it is in there.” Thor finally turned to level her with a pinning gaze. He looked like the cat who caught the mouse. “It’d do both you and I well if you’d spill.”
(y/n) pressed her lips together and sighed through her nose. She crouched down to sit beside her prince and, with fists clenched, finally began to pick through her baggage.
“I wanted to laugh so badly when Fandral said that to your mother. He was mortified and she looked ready to strangle some sense into him. Thor, I’m just.. so tired of hiding my emotions. My instructors always told me that I couldn’t have weaknesses, couldn’t be flawed, because it meant that something bad could happen to you. And I get that, I do! But…” She scowled and turned her gaze down to the training yards. “Do you know how much I would give to go to school like my younger sister?”
“Atla?” Thor asked, surprised. “How is she doing?”
“Well, though she’s trying to skip her classes. Skipping class, Thor! I don’t even have classes to skip, and I’d die for the opportunity! I… I’ve been this role for so long. Sometimes I’m afraid I don’t even know myself as a person because I don’t think I’ve had the chance to grow. I mean… do I even like fighting?”
Thor chuckled as he recalled a few memories from their younger days. (y/n) had always beat him in wrestling matches. The only reason she was never yelled at for it was because it was supposed to be her job, though she used to boast take pride in her victories. She didn’t anymore.
(y/n) continued on, oblivious to Thor’s silence. “I’ve been fighting all my life, Thor, I mean seriously, do I even enjoy it? What about education? I loved classes, I loved learning, and now I don’t even have that as an option anymore! Everything I know now is self-taught. My training took priority over everything past basics. I don’t even know anybody outside the royal family anymore. Do I even have friends?”
“You have me,” Thor offered. He sounded hopeful, his shoulder pushed gently up against hers. (y/n) suppressed a grin.
“I know, Thor. I… I’m just worried about myself, is all.”
The prince hummed as he considered her words. He scooted closer a moment later, his arm wrapped firmly around (y/n)’s shoulders. Her breath was soft in his ear, the pulse of her heartbeat steady. Just like her, Thor thought. In all his life, he’d never known her to hesitate.
“Perhaps I can ask Father for some time between my next few adventures. We can spend some time with your family, maybe Loki and Tiki will take you to the library. You’re a very strong person, (y/n), in head and spirit. I shouldn’t be rushing headlong into things without thinking of you first. It’d be nice to take some time and actually rest in a bed instead of dirt, too.”
They both laughed at the memory of their last trip. For days (y/n) had slept on dirt, since in his haste Thor hadn’t packed his sleeping roll. She’d made him take hers, despite his complaints, and in the end they played hot potato with who slept on it. The Warriors Three and Sif started making bets on who would get the sleeping roll on what night. Volstagg won most of them.
Thor looked over and took pride in that he’d been the first to make his kindred-sister smile for the first time all day. Not even Tiki and his dumb jokes could crack her shell. The stars overhead caught his attention again, causing him to tear his gaze away before (y/n) could catch him. She probably already had though, since she was good like that. He squeezed her shoulders tight and laid their heads together.
“Besides,” he said, “beneath that mask of yours, you always have me right beside you. We’ll figure this out, (y/n).”
It took a moment, but (y/n) eventually replied. “I know, Thor.” Despite the doubts that crowded her thoughts, she knew that like an absolute certainty.
Tag list:
@princess76179 @kalechipps @a-confused-blogger @agent-valkyrie-romanoff  @starkslaufey @bad-black-angel @pieceofsupersoldiertrash  @chari-a @bluudhavens @wowitstonystark
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soldierwatch · 5 years
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             name ➔   ghost 
are you single ➔  i am »this close« to being married to @animosus
are you happy ➔  yeah, & it’s cause my lil sib spent two hours talking to me about reflective awoken eyes in dstny. just imagine trying to take a flash-photo of an awoken
are you angry? ➔   Pure Rage is my constant state of being.
are your parents still married ➔  surprisingly
NINE FACTS
birth place ➔  i’m a new yorker ;; lived in the country side of the state, though.  
hair color ➔   dark brown 
eye color ➔    blue w/ central heretochromia in both eyes ( the only hetero thing about me ). if you’re unfamiliar, it means i’ve got a golden ring around my pupils. when i was a kid, i didn’t know what it was, & i used to think my eyes were on fire.
birthday ➔   jan 27th ; me & mozart are birthday buddies.
mood ➔  4:59 is the current mood, my men.
gender ➔  genderfluid w/ preference for male pronouns
summer or winter ➔   winter, because i like when i get to wake up in the mornings under warm blankets. you can always bundle up in winter. ...but i like summer activities.
morning or afternoon ➔ i like mornings so long as i don’t have to be up super early for somethin’ i don’t wanna be doing. 
EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
are you in love ➔   i’m in love with jack morrison
do you believe in love at first sight ➔    not even a little bit. that’s ridiculous. 
who ended your last relationship ➔   i’ve never had a real relationship before grey
have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔   lmfaooo yup. i told them it’d happen. they had it coming. ...they were a p good friend before everything went to shit tho.
are you afraid of commitments ➔    i have nightmares about commitments.
have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔   ... :( no i don’t think so
have you ever had a secret admirer ➔   yeah, but they didn’t really try to keep it a ‘secret.’ 
have you ever broken your own heart? ➔   no but 2018 sure fucking did a good enough job FOR me. in all seriousness, my love goes hard for those i lost that year.
SIX CHOICES
love or lust ➔  love ; PLATONIC love. i’m not into romance.
lemonade or iced tea ➔   or
cats or dogs ➔    cats, w/ their li’l paws n’ soft foreheads.
a few best friends or many regular friends ➔  a few best friends, tbh. i don’t do well w/ trying to keep up w/ a lot of people.
wild night out or romantic night in ➔   wild night in,,,
day or night ➔  night, when it transitions into day. so, dawn, i guess. …so long as it’s not when i have to wake up. …i prefer dawn if i’ve stayed up all night and don’t need to be going to work lmao.
FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS
been caught sneaking out ➔    i’m too much of a goody-two-shoes to have ever even thought about sneaking out.
fallen down/up the stairs ➔   so many times. :(
wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔   g o d. you ever just fucking MISS someone ??
wanted to disappear ➔  so, like—in the book John Dies @ The End ( my fave ) there are these Shadow Men, right ?? and if they touch you, they completely wipe you from existence. you’re just GONE from EVERYTHING like you never existed——if they were real i would NOT hesitate to let one grab me.
FOUR PREFERENCES
smile or eyes ➔   I find myself staring at smiles more, but I like eyes.
shorter or taller ➔  doesn’t matter so long as i can Pick Them Up
intelligence or Attraction ➔   compatability lmfao,,,
hook-up or relationship ➔  relationship tbh
FAMILY
do you and your family get along ➔  yyyyyeah for the most part.
would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔  i wouldn’t. my ROOM is messy, my life is not. i’m just a weak baby.
have you ever ran away from home ➔    lmfao i tried to when i was, like, six. i got to the end of the neighborhood and turned back around.
have you ever gotten kicked out ➔   the threat has been made multiple times, but now that i’m actually All Moved Out it doesn’t matter.
FRIENDS
do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔   i don’t play that fake-friend shit. if i don’t like someone, we aren’t friends.
do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔  mmm,,, yes ? but not, like. on a deep-connection level ? like. they’re all Good People To Have As Friends, but, like. there’s a lot i keep to Myself w/ no intention of ever sharing—so i guess it’s my fault i won’t let people be ‘good friends.’
who is your best friend ➔  @animosus & also my lil sibling.
who knows everything about you ➔ the lil sib, cause they’re forced to listen to all my shit. 
tagged by: yoinked it. tagging: @animosus // @mulltitudinous // @greenxscarves // @owobunnyowo // @walcure // @preservedhearts // you !!
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kenjkats · 6 years
Note
HEYY because I have no self-restraint JakeXMC for numbers 1-23, 38, And 41? THANKS LOVE!!♥️
YOOOO ES3 ON THE HORIZON I AM HYPED FOR MY MANS JAKE THANKS FOR THE ASK
LOL I GET IT THO it’s JAKE. MCKENZIE. Who has the restraint???
Note: Using F!MC and default name Taylor. And these get specific so I might use personality/backstory HCs especially for MC
1. How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?
They’re quite cuddly. Even if they didn’t go to sleep in each other’s arms they often wake up to find that Taylor is resting against Jake’s shoulder and he has that arm wrapped around her. Waking up varies, either very lazy mornings filled with groaning and “five more minutes”, one of them stretching and smacking the other in the face. Or, groping each other half asleep that devolves into sex. I don’t make the rules.
2. How’s their team work? Do they share well?
GREAT. They got through a bunch of hellish life and death situations on La Huerta, their daily team work is a piece of cake. Although they argue over whose turn it is to do a certain chore.
3. Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?
VERY OPEN. Jake McKenzie doesn’t give A F*CK. If he wants to kiss Taylor, he’s gonna kiss Taylor. And she doesn’t mind at alllll. A big lesson from the island is you gotta live in the here and now and say you love the ones you love when you can. Everyone hates them a little for it. Lots of eye rolling and groaning and, “Seriously? Do you have to do that HERE?”
4. First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?
Not love, but they were attracted to each other right away. Taylor saw this pilot sleeping in the cockpit with his feet up and thought he was lazy, snarky, but cute. Jake definitely noticed her when he laid eyes on her, masking it with jokes and nicknames, of course.
5. Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?
6. Any tasks that are always left to one person?
They kinda settled into the routine of Taylor cooking and Jake doing dishes. Some sort of similar agreement goes for most of their other chores.
7. What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?
They love each other’s little quirks, but what annoys them both is that the other has the tendency to cut the other off for their sake. Taylor not telling Jake or the gang about some dangers (that she could talk about without messing up time) just to protect them. Jake trying to make her go when Lundgren was after them. Stuff like that. They wish the other would let them just be there for them cause they’re supposed to be a team, but the need to protect the other gets in the way.
8. What do they like best about their partner?
Taylor loves Jake’s hair (she runs her fingers through it a lot because it’s surprisingly soft), and the smirk he gives her a lot. Let’s not forget the beautiful blue eyes that like to wander over her body.
Jake loves her smile. He tries to hide it most of the time, but it makes him melt. And the way she smells. When they’re lying next to each other at the end of the day and he takes in her scent he feels happy and safe, because to him she smells like home.
9. Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?
Yes but they’re both a little awkward about it and there’s a lot of beating around the bush. But they eventually do, especially when a situation forces them to. Jake makes sure to insert a lot of jokes and puns to deflect the awkwardness of any conflicting opinions. Although they surprise each other with their very similar views anyway.
10. Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?
Taylor drives. Jake actually only knows how to work planes. Go figure. Taylor cooks most of the time except for when Jake is in the mood to barbecue or grill things outside. Jake does a lot of the handiwork around the house. Cleaning is split, with they heavy-duty outdoor stuff taken care by Jake (he likes it because you do those less often than say, sweeping lol). Taylor pays the bills. They hate the public XD
11. Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?
They do! They usually have a thing with the gang then sneak off to have some private time drinking together, lying in a hammock cuddling, or… things.
Their favorites are New Years and their anniversary. Add to that the anniversary of Jake’s name being cleared, letting him move back to the states so they can live together.
They also celebrate the anniversary of when they all returned home. It’s a special holiday only they celebrate. Lots of feels and good times on that day.
12. Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?
THERE IS. It was on the island. Their relationship never went along the normal progression anyway. Everything just happened quickly. Jake proposed one day after all the mess on La Huerta. They were still on the island, but everything was more lax. They could afford to party, relax, and figure out how to get home in peace.
Jake and Taylor were sitting quietly on the beach, talking about how great it felt to be free from all the weird stuff. And Jake is staring at her as she talks about home. He never thought about getting married, but he wasn’t stupid, either. He saw very clearly how lucky he was, how he wanted her and only her, and just asked then and there. Why wait?
It was a lovely little ceremony officiated by the Vaanti, with a feast of course and Raj getting everyone drunk. They saved the honeymoon for when they got back home, and had it on a regular island getaway without time magic nonsense.
13. What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?
They’re very chill. They like to lay around the house, or go for walks and hikes outside. Occasionally they do go for an adrenaline rush: surfing, jetskiing, diving, Jake flying them around, that kind of stuff.
14. Anything they both dread?
An angry Michelle, Zahra, Estela, and worst of all Grace lol
They can handle anything else, really.
15. How adventurous are they?
Very. They’re that type of couple that likes to go on mountain hikes and would try anything that gave you a big adrenaline rush.
16. Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?
Nope. By the time they get back from La Huerta they’re pretty much open to each other all the way. There are times though when they feel the need to hide something from the other when they feel like it would keep the other safer or it was unnecessary to worry them about it, but these things usually come out if they need to.
17. What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?
If they can’t keep up with adjustments in each other’s lives. I mean Taylor would be adjusting to the new life of being an adult: finding a job, getting used to paying bills, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life. Jake on the other hand has to get used to being back in the states, and could have trouble adjusting into the quiet normalcy of everyday life. 
I could see Taylor hang on even if they had trouble keeping up with each other on top of these life changes, but Jake would be the type of guy who might ask to cool off if he feels like he’s being a burden or hindrance in her new life.
Probably not permanent. Taylor is stubborn and would keep coming back.
18. What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?
They feel a little awkward at first readjusting to life back in the normal world and going on actual dates that didn’t involve simultaneously running away from prehistoric predators. But when they do adjust, they hang out a lot. 
Jake shows her around his hometown, and they like to take little trips together and he shows her all the places he’s been with his old plane Delilah. They like going to bars together, or camping, or just hanging out at one of their houses or in the backyard, lounging around, talking, and drinking or eating. When they get a little bored of the quiet, they like to go hiking, or to the beach and do fun activities like jetski races ofc.
I HC that Taylor doesn’t really have a home in the US like she thinks, so when they go back they move in together right away. They maybe date for about a year before Jake cuts the BS and asks her to marry him lol. They were never the couple to take things slow anyway. They were sure of each other from the start.
Ofc they need breaks from each other. Everyone needs alone time. Taylor likes to go out with the girls: Michelle and Estela especially, while Jake likes to have alone time in his hammock or watch a game with Craig, Zahra, and Sean.
19. What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?
They fought quite a bit when they were adjusting to a normal life and living together. Not having to worry about surviving attacks and starvation lets you notice the annoying things a little more. They argue about bad habits and chores, but nothing too big. Their arguments are just a few annoyed words, then one of them, usually Jake, walks off before they lose their temper and say something they don’t mean.
They make up by just approaching the other and hugging them, mumbling an apology. Always a lot of make up kissing/sex lol
20. What does their home look like? Their room?
Simple, but homey. These two could live on a shack on the beach and decorate it with a bunch of souvenirs from their travels, which is basically how they decorate their actual home. Nothing fancy. Same with their room.
21. Do they share any interests or hobbies?
Yes! I imagine they love watching sports and support Sean in his career. They also love outdoors-y type activities. Jake shares his enthusiasm for flying, and tries teach Taylor how to fly his new little plane. Taylor introduces Jake to a bunch of her favorite TV series.
22. Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?
In the way of time maybe. They feel frustrated when they’re trying to get into a routine. Taylor is a fresh grad trying to settle into her first job and she’s kept busy quite a lot. Jake on the other hand doesn’t have too many options after serving his country. He goes back to being a pilot and is away a lot.
23. How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?
Jake often does the side hug, draping one arm around Taylor to pull her in then kiss her on the forehead. Taylor likes wrapping her arms around his waist when he does this and buries her face in his chest.
Their kissing always leads to things. They can’t help it, they enjoy the feel of each other too much and if they are alone, they will take advantage lol.
Flirting is shameless. Doesn’t matter when or where, even in serious life and death planning mode with the gang, Jake especially will find a way to pull out a flirty joke or pull her into a kiss. You miss all the shots you don’t take, is one of his life mottos.
They comfort each other with light-hearted jokes, words, and light touches or lingering hugs. Like when Taylor found Jake’s idol. She hugs him for comfort and he returns it, asking her what’s wrong and reassuring her. Or like in the tent before they went after Rourke and Jake poured his heart out to her about Mike. She was there for him and reassured him, making sure he knew she was there for him.
38. What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?
Insatiable, really. They just go at it whenever they can and wherever they can, you saw them on La Huerta lol EVEN IN THE CAVE XDD
So they’re really hungry and rough about it, especially in the beginning, but then they also have that side where they’re softer, slower, and are more gentle - usually in quieter moments and later on when they fall hard for each other.
They won’t do anything too crazy, but they do like to mix it up now and then (cough tying each other up is canon cough). Hmm stuff with food, blindfolding, doing it in non-bed places, stuff like that. Jake loves LOVES watching her though, it’s a simple thing is a huge turn on for him. Like he’ll watch her as she moves on against him or he rocks against her, drinking in the way her face looks, how her hair is splayed over the sheets - all of it. Drives him crazy.
41. Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?
Yes but in that relaxed way. Like, they’ll go to a party, but are the ones sitting around and just drinking in their own little group. Jake isn’t drunk too often. The man’s threshold is HIGH. But when he is, he gets kind of sleepy and is extra touchy with Taylor. He also either laughs more or gets a little miffed with people around him who make fun of him cause he looks so drunk. Like Craig will crack a joke and Jake tries to push him a little, but he misses and just ends up sitting on the floor. Idk XDD
Taylor is drunk more often. She tries to drink the same stuff Jake does, but usually can’t keep up. She’s a happy drunk, prone to dancing, yelling, and lots of giggling around her friends. She’ll also drape her arms around Jake a lot, kissing him all over his cheek and ruffling his hair, still giggling.
Send me a ship and some numbers and I’ll give you HCs (limited, see this link for ships I do!)
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karikitdemon · 7 years
Text
Time to Wake Up
And more. This is the last one tho. What a ride. @eradition also, kinda sorta spoilers for the game at the end. Sorta.
———-
Link and Kari traveled to the last Divine Beast, Vah Naboris, on horseback as swiftly as they could. They stopped at a nearby stable for the night only to leave their horses behind and travel on foot to the Kara-Kara Bazaar. Kari chuckled, remembering when she first met Urbosa. She was wounded from a fight before entering the bazaar only for Urbosa to find her, bandage her up, and take her home.
“–ri?” Link called.
“Hah?”
“You okay? You kinda spaced out there.” Link asked, a bit worried about her.
Kari nodded. “I’m fine. Just feeling a bit nostalgic. It’s been over a hundred years since I’ve been here.” Kari gave a small smile. “Nothing’s really changed now that I look closely.” She giggled happily. The two went to the town, only to have Link be turned away due to the no voe rule. But Kari was allowed in. Link was left to find a way in on his own while Kari got information. She looked around and saw so many places that made her remember hanging out with Urbosa, or just doing her own thing. The shops, the open areas. It made her happy that it was all so familiar. Then she saw something near the center of town. A large carving on the ground of the town’s center. Kari gulped when she relized what it was. A carving of her symbols, which were shaped like waning crescent moons. A little explanation was written off to the side.
“This symbol is in remembrance of Champion Urbosa’s adoptive child, Kari. The girl who froze herself in time to prevent an enemy from threatening the champions from a possible early defeat. May she forever be remembered by the gerudo people and maybe even across all of Hyrule.” Kari gulped and stared at the carving for a while.
“Sav’aaq.” A woman called upon seeing the child staring at the ground. Kari looked up.
“Ah, Sav’aaq.” She replied fluently, startling the woman slightly.
“So fluent. Ah, sorry. I don’t meet many Sheikah vai who are that fluent with our language. Much less a child.”
Kari giggled. “I can only imagine.” She smiled kindly.
“I just came by to see if you wanted me to further explain the–” The woman gasped and widened her eyes slightly upon seeing the symbol on the child’s forehead, which was also on her torso, back, backs and palms of her hands, and tops and bottoms of her feet. That same symbol depicted on the ground. “P-pardon, what might be your name, young vai?”
“Kari.” She smiled. The woman widened her eyes more and bowed. “H-hey, n-no need to bow miss. But, Sarqso for the gesture.”
The woman stood. “My apologies. I-I just never thought I’d ever meet someone such as you.”
Kari smiled nervously. “Mama must’ve bragged about me while I was frozen. I swear to Hylia mama you can be a bit dramatic… She must’ve missed me. Can’t blame her.” She thought and sighed.
“Would you mind coming with me? I believe there is someone you should meet.” The woman escorted Kari to the chief’s house happily. There she was introduced to Riju.
“So, you are Kari. I’ve heard stories about you from my mother. She from her mother and so on.” She smiled kindly. “I never thought I would actually meet you. You are spoken of highly throughout the whole gerudo race to this day.”
“Oh boy, mama seriously. Even after one hundred years you still manage to embarrass me.” Kari chuckled shyly. “W-wait. If you heard stories of me through your mother, and she before her… Nah, probably just rumor or spread of the stories.”
“If you are suggesting that Lady Urbosa and I are related, then yes. Though, you would have been the younger sister to my ancestor. Urbosa’s birth daughter left on a journey to find a husband long before you arrived in Kara-Kara Bazaar and met Lady Urbosa.” Riju giggled. “Anyway, I suppose your fight with that follower of ganon went well? Core, am I right?”
Kari, who was still shocked she had an older sister at some point, shook her head. “N-no.” She replied. “Well, I dunno. When I unfroze from energy loss Link managed to chase him off since I had gotten weak. It’s hard maintaining a small area frozen in time. I’m surprised I stayed that way for so long.” She sighed.
Riju hummed. “Well, that is no good. But at least you are alive. That is something to be grateful for.” Kari nodded bitterly.
“I mean… I guess…” She replied. “Anyway, I’m here to get information on how to calm Naboris. Mama’s trapped there and I gotta help her.” Riju chuckled.
“I’ve heard of how determined you are, it’s very infectious.” The Gerudo Chief informed. Kari blushed. “Anyway, I know of a few things. It can’t be reached on foot so a sand-seal would be best for this trip. And since it uses lightning, you will not be able to get too close to it unless you want to be struck down on the spot.” She informed. That was when another vai walked in. Kari stared at the vai and sighed.
“… Looks good on him. Blue really brings out his eyes. Though he’s wearing it rather sloppily.” She thought, eyeing the disguised hero. Riju swiftly found out about Link’s identity and decided to have him stay, since he could calm Naboris. She gave them more information on how to approach the divine beast, using an item called the thunder helm, which could protect them from the lightning. However, the two would have to get it from the Yiga clan, who stole it from them. So, the two set out to get it. While exiting the building, Kari wrote something down on a piece of paper after hearing a woman pleading for help from a guard nearby. Something about her husband being ill and needing Molduga guts to cure him. Kari would do this while on the way to the Yiga clan hideout.
Not long later, the two encountered one. “Kari, seriously?!”
“Shut it, I won’t be long!” Kari called and raced towards the giant beast, swiftly killing it with a few hard hits from ranged attacks. It took her about thirty minutes to kill the beast, grab the guts and other items, and head back to Link.
“And you complain about my side quests.” Link huffed.
“Hey, this one was to save a man’s life. Yours were mainly about giant horses, rupees, and shrines.”
“Hey don’t hate my horse! He’s giant and strong and can easily plow through enemies!”
Kari rolled her eyes. “Yeh, and he’s also slow and doesn’t listen well.”
“Venice doesn’t listen. You even did that quest to get him.”
“Hey, Venice and I get along just fine thank you! Just because I bash you about your love for side quests doesn’t mean you can bash my horse!” The girl growled.
“Fine, fine. I will admit, I do more quests than you. But it does keep a stable income, so you shouldn’t complain too much.”
Kari grumbled. “Fine.” She looked around. “I think we’re close.” She mumbled and put her guard up. The two managed to sneak in and snoop around. They then found a secret area that held the leader, called Kohga. The three fought, ending in a victory for Link and Kari. They left, grabbing all of the Yiga clan’s loot along the way and their mighty bananas as well. Once finished they left back for town Kari gave the guts the woman who gave Kari three hundred rupees in return and said she would name her child after her, if she ever had one. Kari blushed at the outcome and watched the woman run off to get her things to head back to her husband. After that Link and Kari gave the helm back to Riju, who used it to help Kari and Link get on Naboris.It took some time, but the two managed to get on the divine beast and look around. Kari smiled widely as a memory resurfaced.
“Mama, what’s it like being a champion?”
“Hmm? Why do you ask?”
“It seems hard. I mean, it’s a lot of pressure, yeh?”
“Well, yes, it is a lot of pressure. The lives of so many people are riding on my and everyone else’s shoulders.”
“Sounds stressful. But you show so much passion in doing it.”
“Yes, it is stressful, but it is worth it. … Kari, listen to me. When you find something you are passionate about promise me one thing. Go for it. Full force. Put all of your passion, energy, everything into it. Work hard, be smart, be brave, don’t be afraid to take risks. But also take care of yourself and stay healthy. If you are truly passionate about something, the stress won’t really matter in the long run. You’ll hit rough patches and sometimes it will be hard, that is true for life. But that will make it much sweeter when you succeed.”
“I promise! If I ever find something like that I’ll work hard at it! Just like you, mama.”
“That’s my Vehvi.”
“Hey, Mama.”
“Yes hun?”
“You’re lap is super comfy.”
“Haha! It’s like a bed to you, isn’t it? I mean, you are rather small.”
“AM NOT! I’M A GIANT!”
Kari chuckled happily at the memory. “… I’ll work hard, mama.” She mumbled.
“Well, well, well. Link, I was wondering when you’d show.” Urbosa’s voice echoed followed by a gasp. “K-kari?!” She sounded surprised and relieved, yet also worried.
“Mama, I’m here. Don’t worry, Link and I will free you! I promise!” She called out and rushed onward with Link, getting the maps and terminals like with the other divine beasts then going to the last terminal. Kari narrowed her eyes, stopping Link before he activated the main terminal. “Link, if things follow the same pattern as the last three divine beasts.” Kari’s eyes showed pure rage. “Then I will take this enemy down. Alone. Please.” Link gulped and sighed.
“Kari… Just, please be careful. Okay?”
Kari chuckled. “If push comes to shove I’ll just freeze myself again for a while so you can kill it.” She replied.
Link sighed in defeat. “Please don’t let it come to that.”
“We’ll see.” Kari shrugged and Link activated the terminal. An enemy formed and Link took cover while Kari stood her ground, ready to fight.
“Kari, that is Thunder Blight Ganon. It is insanely fast, so be on your guard.”
The sheikah child nodded. “Hey!” Kari called. “You may be strong, but I’m stronger!” She roared, her eyes forming three silver rings around her pupils which were now slits. “Because I have a reason to fight!” Kari vanished and reappeared behind the beast, only to have it zip away. It then raced back to strike the girl, but she blocked and attacked with her scarf ends in the forms of blades. Kari was doing her best to keep up with the beast’s speed. Attacking, dodging, blocking, doing everything she could to avoid much damage. It eventually started to use metal pillars as lightning rods to get the girl down. Kari gulped and did her best to avoid the attacks, but she was struck last second by one of the attacks.
“KARI!” Urbosa called as the child yelped in pain. Kari laid on the ground for a moment, eyes wide as a bit of static circulated her body. Thunder Blight Ganon approached the child to finish her off. “KARI, GET UP!” Urbosa called. Link rushed in to attack, but was quickly shoved away by the enemy.
Kari groaned and shakily stood as Thunder Blight Ganon raised its sword to attack. The child smirked. “I’m not d-dyin here. N-not in front of mama. She won’t have to feel that pain again.” Kari managed, gripping her scarf. Both ends pierced through Thunder Blight Ganon and swiftly ripped through it, upward, killing it instantly. Kari gasped and stood on both feet while Link sighed in relief and reclaimed Naboris from Ganon.
Urbosa’s spirit then approached the two. Upon seeing Kari she gulped and raced to her. Kari did the same. The two cried and did their best to calm each other. “Kari, my sweet Kari. Are you okay? You’ve been eating enough, right? You look a bit skinny. Nothing broken? Are you warm or cool enough?” Urbosa asked.
“I’m okay Mama. Nothing’s broken. Link’s been making sure I eat enough. Yes I’m cool enough. And I’ve been this skinny for a while. It might be a temporary side effect of being frozen in time for so long.” Kari replied with a sniffle.
Urbosa sighed solemnly. “I-I’m so sorry you had to see me like this. I thought our reunion would be different.”
Kari sniffled, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I-it’s okay mama. I’m-I’m just happy to see you, even if it’s just your spirit. But… I’m also sad because I’ll never be able to hug you again a-and you’ll move on without me eventually.”
Urbosa gulped sadly, collecting herself before speaking again. “Just because I’m dead physically does not make me dead permanently, Kari.” The child blinked out of confusion. “Someone only truly dies when they are forgotten. Not when they are killed. That person lives on in the memory of others. That is why I told stories about you to the gerudo people and to those who would listen. So, in my heart and theirs, you lived on. I was unsure back then if you were… physically gone. I knew you were just frozen but I was not sure if that would last, so I did what I thought was best.” Kari teared up and hiccuped.
“Aw, mama. Sarqso.” She smiled and hiccuped. “S-Sarqso.” She repeated.
Urbosa smiled happily as she saw her daughter’s pure smile for the first time in one hundred years. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”
“I can only imagine.” Kari replied, wiping her eyes and nose again. Link sighed.
“Hey, uh, hate to break it to you guys. But we gotta go.”
Kari looked up at Link. “Ya know. I’ll stay here and talk with mama. You can go back and do those quests and shrines and all that. Okay? I… I wanna catch up with mama. Tell that to Riju too, I think she wanted to talk with me some more when shr had the chance.” Kari informed then approached Link and handed him a whistle. “Here. I made this myself. It has my power imbued in it so when you blow it I’ll hear you wherever you are and warp to you. Only use it when you’re about to fight Ganon, okay?” She informed and smirked. “Because I wanna help bring down the man or beast or whatever responsible for all of this.” She said. Link nodded and took the whistle.
“Got it. You take care of yourself. Okay?” Link smiled and waved goodbye to the two. Urbosa drove Naboris to a good spot to lock onto the castle and crossed her arms. Once that was done she sat down with Kari with a smile.
“So, where should I start? Oh I know, so I woke up about three months ago and–” Kari began telling Urbosa her adventures she had with Link happily. Making gestures and a few jokes and enjoying the time she had left with her mother. Eventually the time came when the two had to part ways so Kari could defeat Ganon with Link. It was a long and hard battle, but they won barely. As for Core, he was not seen or heard from. He must have fled when Ganon was sealed again. But, he might return when Ganon threatens Hyrule once again.
Years had passed since Ganon’s defeat. Kari was living in Zora’s domain with her husband, Sidon. She was now technically one hundred and twenty seven. She had gained a good amount of muscle from fights in the past and training as well as a few scars. Things were peaceful now, still a few monsters here and there, but still overall not as bad as they were. Everything was going well with Hyrule now.
“Mama!” A young voice called behind the sheikah woman as she walked home from training.
“Mama, mama!” Another voice called. The woman turned and smiled. A young gerudo girl and a young rito boy raced to her side. “Mama, what’s for dinner?” The rito boy asked with a smile.
“Not sure. How about you two help me decide?”
“I wanna eat something with volt fruit in it!” The gerudo girl giggled happily, her long hair flowing in the gentle breeze and her piercing teal eyes shimmered in the light of the sunset.
Kari chuckled and the rito boy huffed, ruffling his silver and white feathers. “No way, those are gross!” He stuck out his tongue in disgust while his sky blue eyes squinted slightly.
“Says you, Revba! Volt fruits are delicious!” The gerudo girl stuck her tongue out at her brother in a taunting manner.
“Stop that!” The rito boy growled, apparently named Revba, while ruffling his feathers more.
Kari chuckled and sighed. “Alright, settle down you two. Urboha, don’t antagonise your brother, you know how he hates it. Now come on, you are both helping me with dinner.”
“Yes mama.” The two called in unison, following the sheikah woman happily.
“Hey, hey mama.” Urboha called happily while pulling up her long hair into a high, floofy ponytail. “Tell us about granny Urbosa again while we cook! Please!”
“No, no, tell us about Great Uncle Revali!” Revba called while trying to flatten his feathers to the way he liked them. Kari rolled her eyes at the two.
“How about I tell you something else? Your father and I thought about adopting two more kids. A goron and a Zora. Maybe a third, a hylian. But nothing is certain.”
“Really?! Awesome!” Revba chuckled, a wide smile on his face. “I can’t wait to have a little sibling!”
Urboha smiled. “Yay, more siblings!” Kari giggled at her children’s happiness. “Hey, are we gonna see Uncle Link and Aunt Zelda any time soon? Or Uncle Yunobo? Or Aunt Riju? Or even Uncle Teba and Aunt Saki?”
“I dunno. Maybe. Your aunts and uncles are very busy you know. So if they can visit, I’m sure they will let us know.” Kari smiled. “Right, let’s get cooking. My mama taught me this recipe so it should be delicious.” Kari smiled and cooked with her two children, telling them stories about the champions from so long ago while doing so.
You’ve grown so much, Kari. I’m proud of the vai you’ve become.
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calcinators-blog · 7 years
Text
FN-2187, TR-8R
I can’t tell you what it was like. And by it, I really do mean all of it.
“Indoctrination” was one hell of a thing. But then, well… back then, I didn’t know any different. It was all one way up until it wasn’t, until Dr. Thos pulled me out of my mental stasis and I could really think for myself. Do you understand what I mean?
I guess that’s maybe not for me to wonder in the first place; I know your mind has been yours the whole time. I know you choose this and you know I couldn’t. Insinuating it’s possible for you to place yourself where I’ve been is out of the question, not that you wouldn’t try to because I know you well enough, but I couldn’t explain even if I had all the time in the world to. And I don’t.
I’m still coming to terms with it. I know that we’ve already said goodbye. Maybe I’m only talking myself through because it’s too quiet and no one else has said anything to me in hours. Maybe because I still feel like I’m going to see you later and I’m practicing re-telling this story.
If you could hear me, right now, I don’t even know what would I say to you. Maybe that watching the hatch seal over your face was death enough for me. But that’s not the important stuff that I should have said. The one chance I had, I kept it back. Everything. All the nitty-gritty details, the stuff that a part of me would rather get vaped than admit to you. I wanted to come clean, really, but I just couldn’t burden you like that. I held my tongue then and I hold it now, inching closer to the great wipe.
Being reconditioned feels like a joke. But, I’m not laughing.
As I was saying, I broke out of it all, sure, then came pretending like I hadn’t, which was easier than you’d think since you can never really forget what it’s like. I mean, it was both a barrier and an alarm. It was an invisible wall blocking a spectrum of thought, protecting me from revelation and natural impulse. It was an inaudible siren, influencing my brain to duck and run or stand in line. To lay my life out for the cause and all that.
In time, you can imagine, that you’d grow to tolerate it. And I did. Fighting against it only makes headaches. Real bad ones. Ones that grind and pound at your brain like it’s the Resistance itself. I think it’s because our minds were conditioned not to do what they want to do.
Well, I’ll call them headaches, but in truth, they were more than that. The programming and programmers, the ones who do this to us, they are not our allies and they are not our friends.
The end feels all too similar to the beginning. I blame the hallways. The repetition of steel and stone. These worn down boots of mine are ticking like a detonator against the floors, slick with polish. I’m amazed I can walk without falling on my ass.
Hell, now I can’t see anything but Slip’s face. I’ve been in my share of accidents but he was by far the clumsiest trooper I’ve ever seen. I mean it lovingly when I say his dexterity was fictional… ‘Cuz he was also as sharp as a sarlacc’s tooth and that’s why they kept him around. Slip, walking to reconditioning and tripping on his way, would have been the greatest “fuck you” to the General over here. I’m sure it’s a mood killer. It’s gotta be.
Anyways, he’s at my left and a psytech I can’t recognize is at my right. So, there’s a black coat on one side and white at the other. It feels almost like a devil and angel on my shoulders but neither is interested in mercy.
I should also mention that Hux here, has been staring at the back of my head so intently I can feel his glare burning away at my scalp. On one hand, I want to ignore it but on the other, I can’t help but feel he’s annoyed that my hair is  redder than. I must have established myself as the alpha. And I say that as if, wherever you are right now, you’ll stop what you’re doing and laugh– or at least roll your eyes in that way you do when I say something unbelievably corny. I know this look well from too many sour jokes.
I think suddenly to when you told me my hair was as red as poppies. I’m not sure why, but it’s always stuck with me. Maybe I liked the association to something organic and innocent, maybe I just liked how your face lit up when you told me. I think about how you had mentioned they would stain your palms  because you would hold onto them, collect them. Keep them close.
I hope I haven’t left a mark.
Everything aside, I just wish you could hear me. You know, even still, as I march on knowing what’s coming, I don’t think I can take this moment seriously. I don’t think so, but it sneaks up on me. I’m fine in one step, a mess in another.
I contemplate decking the General, then running as he’s stunned. He’s confident that I won’t. I don’t have cuffs. But where would I go then?
It’s hard to stomach how close we were to— it. I guess the absolute worst thing that I could do is measure the distance between here and freedom. I’ll forget about freedom soon enough but damn, if I wasn’t right there.
It’s just ahead now. I’d be lying if I told myself that I didn’t feel scared, or worse, alone. It’s intimidating to know I’ll be fine on the other side or that I won’t remember this moment of not being fine.
I’m not okay right now. I’m the exact opposite. I’m shaking under these outer plates. I feel it breaking like sheets of ice, shifting and crackling along moving water. This armor, my second skin, won’t prevent what they plan on doing to me. Can’t.
I always imagined, in the end, you would show me your home world. I thought about what it would be like to see it with order restored because that’s why you were here. In some vague, ridiculous way, I’m thankful that it pushed you here. I’m not, for one second, pleased that your planet is suffering now but we met and that’s something I would never regret. The universe is too big to not host such happy coincidences and if my memory serves me right, you did say I was like your brother.
Yeah. Happy.
Starkiller isn’t going to get some ceremonious goodbye from me. No one did– not even my Captain. She handed me over; they must have not trusted that I could do it myself for sending her as a chaperone. She came to collect me before any of the others had woken up. We marched soundlessly from the barracks to the main bridge all to find the General waiting for me, sipping tea and reading something on his holopad. He gave me this look, like I was a dog on a leash or something, and told Captain that he was “sorry it came down to this.”
Sorry... Can you believe that? That he was sorry?
She didn’t.
We didn’t have to talk, you know. I mean, I respect the hell out of that woman– under the armor, I wouldn’t be surprised if her flesh was also chromed– but she was thrown through a loop. I don’t think I’ve ever been so quiet; maybe she was waiting for me to brush it all off my shoulders. She didn’t think I could bear the weight of it all without comedic relief to shake the tension loose. But I did.
They’re connecting me to the machines now.
They’ve kept to themselves how potentially dangerous this procedure is. They haven’t warned me that it’s excruciating, that I might wake up in the night with sweat-soaked sheets from nightmares of this life. Dr. Thos forewarned us. You know if it were simple, being reset, they would have done this to me the moment I started laughing more than I blasted things to bits. They don’t do this to wise-mouths; only turncoats… and I wouldn’t have made it as an FN without faking my undying devotion. I’ve never shown that my allegiance is outside this white skeleton.
They look at me, close-lipped. No one has explained to me why I’m here. The only disclaimer they’ve made is that this is what is going to happen. I’m lead to believe our secret is about to make itself known if they do not already know. But I don’t want to entertain that. Thinking about the others… They just can’t.
I’m suddenly terrified of what will happen to the rest. I can’t do anything, secured tightly to this chair, each limb pressed down to the surface. I can only blink and move my head. Neither action is sufficient, so I do nothing.
I put so much belief in the plan. I depended on inertia, and maybe to a fault, that it would just keep us all creeping forward undetected. I never thought I’d be halted. I’m trying to be okay with it. If the skifflin is out of the sack, I only hope it means that you’re right on the edge of figuring it out too.
Damn.
I just couldn’t risk it though. I couldn’t include you in it all when I knew how unsafe it was to house these thoughts. Sometimes I would rip myself out of sleep and have to fight not rocketing down the hall to tell you… It’s just that there is so much happening beneath.
Maybe I should have told you– I should have said something, right? I can’t say anything now. No. Nothing. Not in a metaphorical sense either. Stars, they’ve tied a strip of ashen, flimsy fabric over my mouth. It tastes like gauze and I can’t help but think of being stitched up in the medbay a few cycles back for being a little too reckless. I can’t help but think while I still can. I can’t help it at all. I’m not going to make a sound– untie it. Please, General. I can’t go through my final moments like this. And why do you have to look at me like that? Like I’m a wounded animal about to be put down. My limbs are transformed to claws and wings. Let me go. Let me go.
Am I awake for this procedure? There was no countdown. It’s happening. God. I can feel parts of me going numb and cold. It’s a submersion into ice water. I’m not ready. I’m not ready. I don’t want to forget your face. I’m thinking really hard about you. I’m not ready to give you up. They can try to steal you and everyone else from me but I refuse to let you go.
I feel something moving down the pathways of my memory. There’s no way to describe this feeling, only that I’m all too aware of something slithering about inside my head. Starkiller is absorbing my mind in preparation for total annihilation.
I won’t forget you. I won’t forget you when you had been watching the interstellar dust. We had everything then– the one last perfect moment.
General Hux has his hand on the controls. I can’t see much but I see him from the corner of my eye. The techs, in ghostly white robes around him, are supervising. He must think he’s deleting the problem; that it began and so dies with me.
I can only hope this buys you enough time.
Whatever happens after this, you’ll make it out. I know you will. You’ll go back to your planet and see the poppies. I don’t know where I came from but I trust you don’t mind if I go there too. It feels like it’s home enough for me. I hope you know my consciousness will be there, preserved and flowing through the stems of every single flower, bursting into petals you used to admire.
We’re all finally free there. Everyone. Please, you have to keep holding on.
You just have to.
I wonder if they can see it in my eyes, the brilliance of the view we had. I’m thinking about it hard enough that I’m surprised that my skin hasn’t become one with the darkness we hang in.
You’re here. With me. You’re next to me. I feel our last hug become our last once more. I feel you holding me together, but you’re fading to quickly to keep me in tact. But I’m not ready to let you go.
The fabric over my mouth slips; it falls down my chin and hangs at my neck like a noose. This vision of you, the last I’ll see of you and know who you are, but I whisper to you regardless:
 "We will escape. We will all escape."
The man with red hair, whose name and face have left me, cannot control his rage. He slams his hand on a button and I’m shocked with so much invisible electricity that I–
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