#seriously why does it matter so much who wins just have fun!

[astralis-is-typing]

Stray kids family as an actual family

⚝fic type: headcannon (comedy/crack)

⚝genre/contains: a rundown of the kinds of relatives you will encounter at a typical family gathering, except it’s stray kids

⚝word count: 1.5k

⚝A/N: hi hi! if you’ve ever been to a large family gathering you’ll probably relate to one of these, no matter where you're from haha. did these from jeongin -> chan instead of the usual order to spice things up (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠) p.s: this is just for giggles so don't take it too seriously. enjoy!

｡Yang Jeongin*ﾟ

Grandma Jeongin has two modes, and she will be interrogating you either way.

Most of the time she’s talking about other family members while she cooks or cleans up the kitchen. Jeongin knows who is most likely to get married next, who will never get married, who’s about to get a divorce and even which of your cousins is at loggerheads with their respective bosses.

Whether she ends up being right about her crazy notions or not, she does not care. Jeongin will always have something to talk about, no matter how controversial it may be.

If you’re in the kitchen, then it seems you must automatically join in on these speculations. Better play it up, because it’ll distract her from putting you on dish duty- and get you early access to whatever she’s cooking up (a storm piece of cake).

“Help your grandmother,” she’ll grumble, if she figures she won’t get much out of you. “Kids these days. When I was your age I didn’t have to be asked. You’ll never find a spouse with this behaviour.”

At other times, your favourite granny is sweet once she’s been sated by her 4th cup of tea. Or a cup of soda, on days she’s feeling ‘adventurous and bold’. Jeongin will spontaneously call you over and ask you who your girlfriend or boyfriend is now. Jeongin wants to know what you’ve been doing with your whole life, but all in good faith haha.

Grandma Jeongin will also be commenting on your fashion choices and giving you rather outdated skincare tips on how to age gracefully like her.

｡Kim Seungmin*ﾟ

The cousin you’re always being compared to, academically or otherwise. Seungmin is 100% that overachiever who is constantly being praised by all your uncles and aunts who think the world of him.

It’s hard not to be jealous or annoyed when your parents compare you to your genius cousin and ask you unbelievable questions. “Why can’t you get A’s like Seungmin?”

No matter what you’ve done in your life, it seems Seungmin has outdone you lmao. He’s the golden child who can do no wrong and you just have to live with it.

In spite of the pressure to be perfect, Seungmin is still really fun to be around. He’ll also do your homework/projects for you if you ask nicely enough.

(Who are we kidding, this is Kim Seungmin. You’ll probably have to cough up some cash haha.)

｡Lee Felix*ﾟ

The fun cousin. Now, one person like this is enough to survive a family gathering.

Felix is the cousin who you need to show up. He’s the person who actually makes family gatherings tolerable. Like, if Felix doesn’t pull up then everyone is kind of bored.

He’s everyone’s favourite cousin; you can count on him to make those boring dinners interesting, and be your crime partner in the event you and your cousins plan to sneak out- distracting you guys’ parents with detailed stories of how he managed to win 63 medals in ‘taekwondaur’.

He’s the adults’ favourite, too. When you were children, and needed to send someone to ask for permission to game/watch TV, he was for sure the one appointed- because no one can say no to him.

When your grandmother is interrogating you and you can’t think of an exit plan, this cousin will charmingly swoop in and save your ass.In any kind of familial sticky situation, Felix has got your back.

｡Han Jisung*ﾟ

Han was probably forced to come lmfao. He was most likely threatened by his parents because they’re tired of being asked where their son is and why he won’t visit.

Jisung is that relative you see once in a blue moon. You’re not quite sure what side of the family he’s from, but you are somehow related. You barely know anything about this guy- what he does for a living, or if he’s been to college… Han Jisung is quite the mystery.

He’s the person that shows up late, leaves early, and is really just there for the food. You don’t really blame him, though; family gatherings can be exhausting. It’s understandable that some people would rather just bypass as many of them as possible.

Your other relatives will call him antisocial because he’s mostly on his phone, but he’s really just trying to avoid being spotted (and probed) by Grandma Jeongin- or Auntie Lee Know, who you’ll meet further down this post haha. Someone like Felix might manage to rope him into making conversation here and there, but Jisung’s interest widely remains at large.

Jisung disappears from the feast as quietly as he came in, and it takes a while for anyone to notice his absence. With his ability to remain evasive, Han might as well be a spy bahah.

｡Hwang Hyunjin*ﾟ

The rich aunt who lives abroad and only comes to visit every three or four years. All the kids love her because she comes loaded with presents for everyone. She’s super fun to be around because she’s got this carefree nature that’s simply infectious. Hyunjin just oozes rich auntie vibes. I mean, did you see him in that 5-star trailer?! Definitely the one who’s been supplying Grandma Jeongin with her collection of eccentric footwear.

Since she’s not around much she doesn’t know what you like, and will give you enough money to buy yourself something nice. Aunt Hyunjin will also come through for you in any financial trial you might be going through. You need a new computer? She’s on it. Rent is due and you’re in a tight spot? Aunt Hyunie to the rescue!

Of course, quality family time cannot be substituted with money, no matter the amount. But hey, if Hyunjin wants to slap a fat wad of cash in your hand, you’re not complaining…

｡Seo Changbin*ﾟ

The relative who can’t stop gushing over how big you’ve grown. Whether you’re 15 or 28, you’ll have to endure his speculations over how it was ‘just the other day’ when he was changing your diapers, and look at you now. Once he’s had a drink or two, Changbin does not hesitate to dish out super embarrassing stories of you as a child.

Nevertheless, Changbin is really fun to be around. He’s present at most family gatherings and more or less keeps them happening.

Changbin is also that uncle who’s trying to help everyone get their lives in order lmfao. You’d easily mistake him for a life coach or fitness guru with the way he’s spewing out tips on how to live a healthier lifestyle every 15 minutes. His advice is valid, sure, but you’re really just trying to enjoy your food, you know?

“You shouldn’t be drinking that. Don’t you know coca cola can be used as a toilet cleaner?! And you’re still willingly ingesting it…” He’d say, shaking his head in disappointment.

｡Lee Know*ﾟ

The nosy aunt.

Auntie Lee Know will sidle up to you with an offering of cookies or potato chips while she not-so-subtly pries into your dating life. Given the chance, she can turn any encounter you have into the possible beginning of a romantic trope. You tell her someone was glaring at you on the bus? Strangers to lovers. Your classmate keeps gloating over the fact that they beat you in a recent exam? Academic rivals to lovers.

For all its worth, Auntie Lee Know is a fantastic cook and the thought of her beef wellington gets you through most interrogations.

If Auntie Lee Know isn’t grilling you, then she is most definitely gossiping in the kitchen with Granny Jeongin about you and everyone else. Those two are a force to reckon with when put together. And there is really no escaping them when they get their hands on you. Like, you literally can never win, this auntie wants to know it all.

Auntie Lee Know also acts as the kitchen’s bodyguard, keeping out hungry relatives (mostly her brother, Changbin) until Jeongin is done cooking. Beware, she’s armed with a wooden spoon and she sure as hell knows how to use it!

｡Bang Chan*ﾟ

That foive-year-old kid you find sleeping in your bed when you sneak away to your room for some quiet time.

If you’ve ever hosted a family gathering at your house, you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Sometimes you just need a moment to pull away from everything, and what better solace than your bedroom? Of course, you do not expect to find someone’s kid lying on your bed, and drooling on your pillow.

Going back into the fray to enquire who’s baby it is would only beat the purpose of your sneaking away, and additionally show your room to unnecessary people who might decide it’s the perfect place to lay down their babies too!

And you are not trying to run a day-care here.

Chan would also be that one kid who keeps asking if you have games on your phone. RIP your peace of mind if he finds out you’ve got Pokémon on there.

You can’t find it in you to get mad at him, though. After all, it’s not his fault that his slightly irresponsible parents left him in your room.

⚝A/N: Thank you for reading! As a present for making it to the end, here’s visual proof of Lee Know being the nosy aunt that he is jksbdiskancdg 💀 I hope they film skz family 3 this year, sigh... need to know if Chan is secretly Seungmin's son. Anyways, remember to reblog and share your thoughts with me if you enjoyed ʕ⁠ノ⁠•⁠ᴥ⁠•⁠ʔ⁠ノ

#skz headcanons #skz scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #stray kids x reader #stray kids headcanons #skz fluff #bang chan fluff #lee know fluff #changbin fluff #hyunjin fluff #felix fluff #seungmin fluff #jeongin fluff #lino fluff #felix x reader #hyunjin x reader #jeongin x reader #seungmin x reader #changbin x reader #lee know x reader #skz incorrect quotes #skz memes #stray kids #skz #han jisung fluff #han jisung x reader #bang chan x reader #staythoughts

[thequietkid-moonie]

Sweet S/O gets a cruel punishment

[ ONE-SHOT ] [ Kokichi Ouma ] [ Danganronpa V3 Killing Harmony ]

⚠️ This contain a little bit of spoilers

This was requested by @sleepyone2three, thank you for requesting it!! The version of the other characters requested you can find it in the masterlist

I have a love-hate for Kokichi, I don't justify Kokichi's actions but I kinda understand him, and from my point of view at the end he was brave and super smart the little bastard. Also, this is my first time writing for him I hope you like it!! 💜

It could be pretty surprising to see someone like Kokichi, who likes to mess with everyone and always put jokes on others, with someone so sweet and patient, people may don't completely understand why you two are together but that doesn't matter, Kokichi loves you and you love him, that is the only thing that matters

Once you two get into the Saishu Academy and the killing game his attitude doesn't change much, however at the start he was a little more calm, still he finds this whole situation pretty interesting and exciting, or at least that was what he tell everyone, he find it interesting in a bad way, he doesn't trust the academy nor Monokuma at all and the posibility of you getting killed terrify him (but he doesn't tell you this)

Kokichi doesn't really trust in people and whenever he is atracted to someone normally is just because that person could be of use or bring him some fun, so for you two being a couple means that Kokichi deeply loves and trust you (not blindly but he does trust you), that is why he wants to win this killing game with you, you may don't like his idea but he doesn't like the idea of losing you, the only person he actually trust

Kokichi really appreciate and loves your patience, he can say a lot of little lies or put on you a lot of jokes and tricks and still you never get truly mad at him, he may annoy you sometimes but you still love him and you still are sweet to him. Under other conditions he will like to test your limits but inside of this killing game it wouldn't be a good idea if he wants to keep you by his side, in addition Kokichi grows more clingy and a little more serious and strict with you (it could seem like he is just joking or may he himself says that he isn't saying it seriously, but with you and only you he gets sincere and you can tell that his worries are true), he loves your sweet and calm personality but in a killing game that is just a disadvantage, you could be easily tricked by someone and end up killed, or worst, use you to kill someone else

Kokichi tried to warn you more than once to don't trust in anyone inside of the academy, anyone could be planning something against you or even use you, Kokichi doesn't trust in anyone there aside from you and he is trying to make you see that too, is his weird way of trying to protect you

However, no matter what Kokichi says or do that doesn't stop you from still trying to help the others, with your sweetness and patience you easily inspire the others and motivate them to work together, specially after what happened to Kaede

Kokichi has his own idea of how to end the game and he doesn't care what he has to do to fullfil his goal he is planning to do everything in his power to make the two of you survived and win this whole game

The killing game was stressful enough, the only situation made everyone nervous and somehow a little paranoid from time to time, adding Monokuma, the Monokubs and the incentives that they bring after every trial it makes things more difficult to endure, even when everyone wanted to end with the game the attitude of some of them doesn't help at all (Kokichi being one of them)

As patient as you can be everyone has a limit, between Monokuma and the Monokubs, Kokichi messing with everyone and you trying really hard for them to not attacking him was driving you crazy, and the situation just get worst when you add the investigations, the trials and losing more and more friends. Kokichi tries to remind you that you can't trust anyone, specially after the trials, and he isn't really good to bring you comfort and support in those moments, in other situation he would have less troubles with trying and show some vulnerability with you, giving you and craving for some comfort, but he can't just let himself do it right now, he has to be strong and keep his facade, Kokichi feels like that is the better way to survive but in his need of survive he forget about you in a more personal way

Everything started with an argument between you two, you wanted to make Kokichi see the things from your perspective, you wanted for him to stop messing with everyone and just try to find a way out of there, a way to end with the killing game with everyone else, into the other hand Kokichi just insisted on his own plan, he insisted that you shouldn't trust anyone in there and that he himself will end with the killing, even if he has to do it alone. The stress were making both stubborn, even it were making you lose your patient, however the problem comes with Kokichi, he was starting to feel desperate and stop thinking on what he was saying and just start to compare you to Kaede, remember what happen to her! she tried to help everyone and now she is gone! Do you really want to end up like her? You can't trust in anyone in here! Heck, you shouldn't even trust in him! He can easily being planning something against you too!

What Kokichi told you hurt, it hurt a lot, the discussion was escalating rapidly, it was just rising and rising in tone, even if you tried to cut him and go away it was too late because your argument bring the attention of the Monokubs, now under the lead of Monodam and he can't just let this happen, everyone is supposed to be friends and don't argument like this

It was just like an instinct for you to shield Kokichi, you were always like this, standing up for him when he gets into problems for messing with someone and trying to calm the other person, so this time you, once again, stand in front of Kokichi like hidding him and tried to reason with Monodam, you tried to tell him that everything was alright, you two are friends and get along really well he doesn't have anything to worry about, but Monodam heard your angry voice, and the hurtful words Kokichi had told you a moment ago it still hurts, as much as you tried to put an smile and look calm the sadness was all over your face and tears were close to fall from your eyes

Monodam obsesion for everyone being friends blind him from understanding that the situation was stressful, that in this kind of situation will be normal to break out just like how you two were just doing, he just take your obvious signs of sadness to say that you two weren't friends and he can't alow that, since now he took the control from Monokuma he has the power to punish the students, his plan was to just give the two of you a lesson, hopefuly after this you two will be friends, but human bodies are diferent from the bodies of his robots siblings and the hit were too hard for you to handle, and since you were shielding Kokichi you were the only one who recived the attack

To Kokichi was like it happened is slow motion, he isn't able to react until your body hit the floor, screaming in desesperation your name he runs to your side, with tears in his eyes he kneel by your side and check all over you, the hit was really hard, the exterior of your body maybe doesn't look too bad but the internal damage was the problem, there is no way to help you now (specially since no one in the academy has the profesional knowledge to do so), from this point there is nothing else to do than wait for your death

Even if Monodam understand what he have done Kokichi won't let him get near you again, not him, not the other Monokubs, not even the other students, he isn't going to let anyone get near you for a long time. On your last moments Kokichi can't do anything else than cry and beg you to please don't leave him, this whole time he just wanted to make sure that you two could get away from that stupid killing game and now, for his stupidity, he is going to lose you

When Kokichi finally start to calm down he quietly apologize to you and promise to end with the killing game for you, even if you weren't hearing him anymore

After Kokichi calms down he returns to his normal self, he isn't going to let anyone see how sad he is, how hurt he is nor how much he miss you or how much he blame himself for your death. However the others can intuit it since he doesn't let anyone talk about you, not even if is something good he imediatly gets irritated and scream at them, also he never tell anyone what happened, if they want to know how you died they will have to find out themself because he isn't going to tell them (nor Monodam, he is too ashame for what he had done)

After this Kokichi is more motivated and eager to end with this stupid killing game, he doesn't care what he has to do nor even if he has to put himself at risk, he is going to to finish this hell for you

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #danganronpa x reader #kokichi ouma #kokichi ouma x reader #kokichi x reader #x reader #x gn reader #video games x reader

[k-martins]

Hello.... What do you think are Fushiguro and Itadori’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Thanks if you want to answer....

Hello! Sorry for the delay in responding.

That's a good question, thanks for submitting it.

Well, I'll start with Yuji. I think his strong point (which was currently pointed out even by Sukuna) is his unshakable humanity. He is always willing to be a stronger version of himself, to evolve as a sorcerer and a person, to protect those he loves. No matter how many times Yuji falls, he will always get up and fight again to protect those he loves most. His willpower is impressive and one of the reasons why he hasn't lost control of his emotions yet, something Nanamin and Todo pointed out as being useless as a sorcerer (I felt like a proud mother seeing him fighting Sukuna so seriously, no. letting the memory of Nanami and Higuruma's "death" affect him, something that would have happened in his times in Shibuya.) I think this is what makes his character to the general public so good and easy to love.

Now, his weak point is certainly the great empathy he feels for people. Don't get me wrong, empathetic and kind characters are my favorites in any media, but Yuji takes it to a very high level. He feels guilty about things that are often not his fault directly (such as the large flow of curses that arose after he ate Sukuna's finger or the deaths caused in Shibuya). The empathy he feels for people makes him forget about saving his own skin (as happened in juvie, as Yuji sacrificed himself to save Megumi and Nobara and only managed to make things worse by, well, leaving sukuna free to kill him and cause harm to Megumi) and consequently puts her friends in danger. This is so real that even external characters have to state that he is not to blame, like Panda saying that Yaga died post-shibuya and Yuta hiding that Toge lost his arm when Sukuna expanded the domain, although it is pointless since Yuji is so trapped in the request from his grandfather who cannot bear to be responsible - directly and indirectly - for the deaths of innocent people.

In Megumi's case, I think his strong point is his wit and maturity. He is a very focused sorcerer who quickly analyzes situations and draws up logical plans to win. Even though she seems cold and distant, Megumi always thinks of others when he makes a plan and puts the safety of others above his own - something very similar to Yuji. His intelligence is what makes a character trustworthy, so much so that he was already going out on missions alone, he was praised by Nanami and Nobara and Yuji trust him a lot when it comes to having a plan. However, his weak point is, as Gojo said, his mentality. Megumi has serious self-esteem issues that end up affecting how he interacts with the other characters, remaining distant and stoic, and how he fights - always saving Mahoraga as a last resort because we know what happens when he summons him. He cannot see himself as powerful, so he does not fight much when facing a powerful enemy, using Mahoraga to secure a victory. He doesn't consider himself important to others, so much so that, despite thinking about Yuji when he's about to die in Shibuya, he doesn't regret his decision. This is Megumi's weakest point and it is for this reason that he still cannot suppress Sukuna like Yuji did. Megumi gave up everything when Tsumiki died (which is understandable) and is now just waiting for someone to kill Sukuna (I doubt he's waiting for salvation and I believe a "there's nothing left to be saved" moment could happen soon)

When it comes to dynamics, I love how Yuji and Megumi complement each other perfectly, which reflects in their fighting style. Megumi is a long-range fighter, while Yuji is a melee opponent. Yuji is muscular and Megumi is intelligent. And they're also a lot of fun to follow, both in battle and in their interactions. Going further, I really like how Yuji always claims that Megumi is someone who is smart, kind and trustworthy, valuing those little details that Megumi doesn't seem to notice (in fact, I really believe that Yuji is much more observant than most people he thinks, because that alone explains how he noticed Osawa's cute handwriting and the way she eats fish; my boy may be slow, but he's not a complete idiot). I also really like how Megumi always takes care of Yuji, whether it's making sure he's okay and thinking of ways so they don't have to kill in the slaughter game, and giving Yuji meaning to continue living ("so start by saving me, Itadori ", a real glue to repair the crack in Yuji's conviction and humanity).

Anyway, I think that's it. I'm a little tired because I woke up early lmao. Thanks again for submitting this question. It was fun and I love talking about my boys.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #megumi fushiguro #itadori yuji #itafushi #fushiita

[crownmemes]

House Sentences, Vol. 10

(Sentences from House (2004-2012). Adjust phrasing where needed)

"The past is the past. It's why I don't like talking about it."

"It's illegal. People go to jail for that. Pay huge fines."

"Your stunned look, I take it, is your way of saying 'brilliant idea!'"

"I know that this isn't a real marriage, but I really like you..."

"You know, when you're interested in something and nobody else is, the polite thing is to keep it to yourself."

"You always get your way, don't you?"

"You know, there's something seriously wrong with us."

"Why is it so wrong that I don't like to cheat?"

"However much it hurt, I did have a right to break up with you."

"You need to see a shrink. I'm serious."

"If you want to lecture me on my poor judgment, there would seem to be more relevant examples."

"Listen to me, you can't keep going like this. Something has to change."

"I want things to go back to the way they were before we started dating."

"I know one conversation isn't going to solve everything, but it is a start."

"You're miserable and you're angry, and I want you to actually deal with that!"

"You think I have unresolved issues, and that you are the unresolved issues."

"Whatever the reason, it was a bad reason and a bad idea. That's all that matters."

"You don't need to depend on people who are going to let you down!"

"You know, for someone who asks as many favours as you do, you sure don't make any effort to win me over."

"You can read people. You understand them."

"You're really not good at reading people, are you?"

"I'd call you an idiot again, but at this point I'm starting to doubt whether you understand what I mean by the word."

"Running away from home is a time-honoured tradition, but you're not doing it to flee your parents. You're doing it to protect them."

"I like you. I have fun with you. And, if you can honestly say that you don't like me, you don't have fun with me, I can accept that."

"Just do whatever you have to do to get over this. You can punch me in the face, kick me in the nuts. Either/or. Both seems excessive."

"We're going to fundamentally disagree about what it means to read too much into this, aren't we?"

"I'm not sure what you were trying to achieve. I'm never quite sure."

"So, either you're so insecure that you feel like you need to always have the upper hand, or you're so arrogant that the notion of a favour is insulting to you."

"Don't you think it's a little early to be dragging up our baggage in front of each other?"

"Everybody makes mistakes. They just don't usually broadcast all of them at the same time."

"Even the best-intentioned parents end up damaging their kids."

"People respect you. They just don't like you."

"Are you intentionally trying to get me to dislike you?"

"I know you want to believe that this is something we can cure. It's not. I'm sorry."

"You're incapable of human connection, so you want everyone to be like you!"

"I know this is weird for you, but you need to figure out a way to be okay with it."

"It really does suck being you, doesn't it?"

"Friends respect each other's decisions, even if they don't agree with them."

"Loyalty is a tool to get people to do things they don't want to do."

"I have been a disloyal, disrespectful jerk. I should have listened to what you wanted."

"Like it or not, you are a person."

"People don't change. Consciences don't spontaneously develop."

"You're destroying your entire life! You can't go back from this!"

#rp meme #rp memes #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #rp prompts #roleplay prompts #sentence starters #specific; #medical drama; #filmtv; #House;

[foxymoxynoona]

Tell Me What Changed (Part 11 A)

Banner and lines by the talented @awrkive

Summary: Alex and Jungkook have been best friends since childhood –actual best friends. She is NOT in love with him, for real, and wishes people would stop assuming that. Why does no one question if he’s in love with her? Huh? But it might have to do with his successful fuckboy status, while Alex is very much… not that. Which is fine and doesn’t matter! Until Jimin’s impending wedding leaves her eager for a date and willing to put herself out there, and Jungkook can’t believe what happens next.

Fuckboy Best Friend JK x OC

CW and tags: fuckboy behavior, jealousy, pining, heartbreak, angst, bad language, explicit sex, sexy photos, alcohol, f2l, who knows what else I'm making it up as we go

Read on AO3 here or below cut

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Read Epilogue

Note: I did it again, the chapter is too long for tumblr so I have to split it into three parts. Make sure you read A first!!!

Jungkook wasn’t nervous for his date with Alex. Why would he be nervous? It was Alex. He knew everything Alex liked. He knew how to have a good time with her. He knew how to make her laugh until she’d yell she was going to pee herself and go waddling to the bathroom while he shouted things after her to try and make it happen. He knew what food she liked and how long she could tolerate standing in line for an attraction and that she didn’t mind the cold but she didn’t like to get wet in the rain because she didn’t like her hair and clothes sticking to her skin. 

Once he had wanted to test that, run naked through the rain with her. She had of course refused and punched him in the stomach for the suggestion. He wondered if now he had a better chance of convincing her… for science, obviously! Did she still mind the rain if her hair was in a bun and she was totally naked in it? What if he was on top of her, blocking some of it?

But in all seriousness, he might not really date other than an occasional activity preceding a good fuck but if he was ever going to go on a date, Alex was the easiest partner for it. They could have fun –and had!-- anywhere: the grocery store, a furniture store, CVS to get their flu shots, McDonald’s at 2am, urgent care that time his ears were stopped up so badly and his fever was so high he started to cry and she forced him to go and kept referring to him as “my son” to the nurses and he couldn’t stop laughing despite the pain. 

So yeah, why would he be nervous about a date? He had no doubts about success. He was going to take her to minigolf, school her ass, then tacos from the best truck in town which he had confirmed would be at Hoff Memorial Park;  they’d eat sitting in the cold on a picnic bench and then he’d take her home to his bed before the rain started around nine and he’d, you know. Spaghetti her. He’d put a lot of thought into what positions he’d use too. A lot. Needed to be sure he’d maximize her pleasure and not bend or twist her in a way that hurt her. Stroke her just right. He wanted to win a scream! Leave her a trembling melted mess in his arms. Ah, it’d be so good… she’d be all fuck, Koo, I finally get it now, you’re really fucking good at this. Make her eat her words alongside his dick, that thing she’d always said with a laugh, damn, if the insta-girls could see the real you they’d be heartbroken.

He needed to show her what’s good.

He had a plan.

And then the comments started.

Nate: “Oh damn, you actually have a date with her? Wasn’t that last guy really good at dates? Good luck, my man.”

Namjoon: “Oh. That’s the date you planned? Isn’t that just… what you guys normally do?”

Taehyung: “Yeah this is the time, you can really show her that you’re serious and mature and want to do this, so like, whole nine yards, something big and– oh. Minigolf? Um…”

Sabina: “Don’t take her to minigolf. She deserves more than minigolf.”

Anita: “Hm, I think minigolf just seems a little easy and impersonal. But you know her best! If you think that’s the kind of date she likes, then…”

Jimin: “You messaged me on my honeymoon for this? It’s fine, Alex will think it’s funny.”

Fuck. Fuck! As Jungkook paced his apartment the afternoon before the date, he realized his plan was no good. He didn’t want Alex to think their date was funny. He wanted her to think it was romantic. He wanted her to be awed by his charm and suaveness… suavity…. State of being suave. He wanted her to be swept off her feet. He wanted her to forget Hobi was ever a guy she dated and it sucked because Nate was right, Hobi was good at dates. He showed up and showed out and Alex was always all flustered and bubbly after their dates. Jungkook wanted Alex to be like that afterwards. Not just like “yep that was an ok time hanging out with my good buddy JK.” He wanted blushes and giggles and then bam, spaghetti!

This called for a fucking re-plan. And fast. 

He showered so he’d smell fresh and lotioned and not like the mall, slapping on cologne and spot-fixing his acne in between looking things up on his laptop perched precariously on the bathroom counter. A few google searches and phone calls later and he’d completely redone their plans for the night, pulling out all the stops. Was it going to hurt his bank account? Yes. Was she worth it? Also yes.

Much more at ease about the whole thing, Jungkook took one more look at himself in the mirror, snapped a selfie, and posted it to his socials for the pep talk he needed.

[TheJK.1997]: look good feel good treat her good, ready for the surf and turf. Best wine recs for Hollyoak Vineyard go

He checked himself one last time, ran over a spot he missed shaving real quick, and was out the door in plenty of time to pick her up early, just to really surprise her. Definitely not because he was getting a stomachache from nerves and needed to do something other than pace from living room to kitchen and pick at his lips.

She wasn’t ready. There he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers even though it made him feel like a fucking idiot because Hoseok gave her flowers so it would look like he was copying but obviously he couldn’t not show up with flowers –there he was with a fucking bouquet of flowers, sitting in a living room he’d been in at least one thousand times since he’d known Alex, while her dad sat in the chair and watched a Planet Earth documentary and her mom made tea in the kitchen even though he had assured her he didn’t want any. They had said hello to him and not much else, both like this was any other time that he’d come over and also like it wasn’t and they weren’t supposed to acknowledge his presence as he just sat there on the couch in slacks and a button up with fucking flowers to give their fucking daughter who was fucking late. It was mortifying. Jungkook wished he could melt into the cracks between the couch cushions. He wished Dilong would come running out and scratch his throat or piss on him or something so he had an excuse to just leave.

“How’s work?” Baba Song asked him over the sound of flamingos feeding.

“It’s good. Busy at the holidays.”

“How is your dad’s– ah, I will just ask him, I’ll see him tomorrow.”

Jungkook nodded. He wasn’t actually sure what about his father was unwell right now, so he should ask. He pulled out his phone and saw they were going to have to hurry to make their dinner reservation. 

“AHh I had better check on her–” Jungkook mumbled, starting to stand. Mama Song was just setting tea in front of him and took it upon herself to shout for Alex followed by Chinese. Alex answered in short Chinese, then came down the hall.

“I’m ready, ok? What’s the rush? I was doing my makeup– oh?” She stopped in front of him and her eyes went right to the flowers. “You brought me flowers?”

Jungkook was instantly mortified. She was probably comparing them to the ones Hoseok had bought her.

“They’re for your mom,” he quickly corrected, thrusting them towards Mama Song. 

Who let out a cackle of a laugh and said, “I will put them in water for Alex. I have a perfect vase. They are beautiful.”

“Wait, I want to see them,” Alex cried, leaping after her mother. She bent down to look close and Jungkook felt like she might as well be examining his limp dick, he was so embarrassed. They were supposed to be nice. He’d bought really nice ones at the standalone shop next to the Starbucks –not the one she worked at, not the one Hoseok worked at, a different one! He didn’t know what kinds of flowers they were but there was lots of color and some spiky looking ones because they looked fun and he thought spiky flowers made sense for her. 

“They’re really pretty,” she said.

“You’re really pretty,” he countered automatically, an old way they had of teasing each other except this time he’d accidentally been nice. Baba Song coughed on the couch and Jungkook thought it had to be related. Cool, he already felt like he was dying anyway as Alex grinned wide and looked him up and down and he was sure she was laughing at him. Baba Song laughing at him too was exactly what he didn’t need.

“You look like you’re going on a date,” Alex mused.

“Uh…” The panic was instant. “Aren’t I?”

“Koopa,” she laughed and hit him on the arm. “You’d better be! Let’s go, weren’t you in a rush a minute ago? You know it takes time to do my makeup without you to help.”

“It looks good,” he said, though the points weren’t quite even which he only noticed because sometimes it took her ten tries before she’d give up and ask him to do it. He started to offer to fix it now but she was already headed towards the door and it didn’t matter. 

“Goodbye Mr. Song. Mrs. Song,” he called. Should he promise to have her home at a certain time? Even addressing them that way felt weird but like, he was taking their daughter out on a date, he had to seem sort of respectful and responsible, right? “Thank you for the tea!” He hadn’t even touched it.

Alex’s skirt was very short, he noticed as they went to his car. She had fancy green tights on underneath it so he couldn’t see skin or anything but it did occur to him that if she bent over, he might not even need to hike it up. Not that he was just thinking about fucking! It really felt more like a nervous impulse to think about it, because he was way more nervous about the not-fucking parts right now as he hurried around and slid into the driver’s seat. He wasn’t even trying to fuck her tonight! He just wanted to hit it out of the park, this whole “date with the goal of earning another date” thing.

“So where are we going?” she asked as he started the car. It was cold and he wished he had thought to run out and start it early so she wouldn’t have to sit in it; she was wearing a new coat, not her usual bulky one that made her look like a burnt marshmallow. You know, in a cute way!

“Um… you know that steakhouse over on–”

“Steakhouse,” she repeated, eyes going wide. “You can’t afford steak!”

“You don’t know what I can’t afford. I’m taking you to a steakhouse!”

“Ok ok geez.” She wiggled in her seat to get comfortable. “I figured you’d just take me for tacos or something. Steak is fine.”

He scoffed, “Come on. I’m a better date than that.”

“All right James Bond or whatever…” she mumbled. “Didn’t know you had something you were trying to prove or whatever.”

“Yeah well…” He didn’t know what to say to that. Yeah, of course he had something to prove. “Is it warm enough for you?” He made it warmer, just in case, even though he was starting to sweat. 

They lapsed into silence. The roads were icy so he didn’t want to be too distracted but it made him nervous for her to just be sitting there staring out the window. Silence was bad on a date, that was something everyone knew. Silence was definitely not going to leave her starry-eyed and weak in the knees.

“So uh, how’s work?”

“Ugh, next question,” she snorted, and reached for the radio dial.

“No, don’t turn music on. Let’s just… talk.”

“O…k….”

He started talking just to fill the silence. He told her about his own work, and about Appa thinking he wanted to do Christmas lights and throwing one lit net over a bush and calling it a day, and about his new nephew who was still pretty useless but starting to look cuter now. He realized they had seen each other a few days ago so these life updates weren’t necessary but he wanted some sort of connection.

“Uh… well, there’s not much going on with me… well, Hobi brought a box of my stuff to work today, so that kind of sucked–”

“He brought it to your work?!”

“Well he waited in the parking lot but yeah… I mean we agreed to do that today but still that sucked in the morning and then I got home and Dilong puked on my bed and I stubbed my toe while I was getting ready… but you brought me flowers, so that’s the best part of my day so far,” she smiled. 

“They were for your mom…”

“Oh yeah? For Mrs. Song?” she teased. 

But he didn’t feel like being teased because this was a date and they were supposed to be getting to know each other and charming each other, so instead he suggested, “Ok let’s not talk about Hobi or uh, other exes or anything tonight.”

“Um… ok… Geez, sensitive much?’

“It’s my date with you.”

“You just asked me how my day was and I told you.”

“Ok so now I know and I’m just saying we can talk about other things now.”

“Ok like what?”

“Um…” Jungkook wracked his brain, but everything that came to mind wasn’t the kind of thing he wanted to talk about on their first date. Funny but inappropriate memes, friend gossip, political outrage, bemoaning the economy, a really bloody anime he’d started and thought she might like too, none of it was the way he wanted to represent himself right now as a respectable and respectful guy. Boyfriend material.

“We’re here,” he announced. Saved by the drive time. He pulled into a spot near the water’s edge –just a pond, but definitely something the steakhouse capitalized on for atmosphere. Fairy lights hung above the walkway through a little windy garden to reach the front of the restaurant.

“Woah, this place is nice,” Alex murmured, bumping into him as she looked around. “Are you sure about this? It’s really fancy… I didn’t dress for something this fancy…”

“I’m sure.” He took her hand and looped it through his arm. “You deserve something like this. It’s our first date. Right?” He looked eagerly down at her, needing to hear her agree that it was in fact their first date and that was in fact a big deal to her too.

“I guess but you really didn’t have to go to so much trouble. You know me, I’m easy–”

“I don’t know you. This is our chance to get to know each other,” he corrected. “As –you know, this new way of seeing each other.” As romantic partners, he couldn’t bring himself to say.

He thought her smile looked unconvinced but at least she was smiling. They reached the front door –and now he saw a side ramp they could have taken right to the front door instead of wandering through the garden. Uh well. He opened the door for her and they walked in to easily the nicest restaurant Jungkook had ever been to in his life. The host was wearing a tux. 

Shit this place was going to be expensive.

“Good evening,” the host greeted them as Jungkook shirked his coat off.

“Hi. Um, Jungkook Jeon, table for two. I have reservations for 6:00.” 

“Ah, yes, Jeon, hm…” The host didn’t move as his gaze trailed down Jungkook and then slid to Alex. “My apologies, Mr. Jeon, but were you aware that there is a dress code for dining here?”

Jungkook glanced down at his slacks and dark blue button up and nodded, “Yeah. We dressed nicely.” He glanced at Alex and realized he hadn’t told her to dress nicely but yeah, she looked great: short red skirt, dark green legs, a fluffy white sweater with… pearls? Had she really worn a sweater with pearls all across the chest to their date– ok, but she hadn’t meant anything filthy by it, he was sure of that. Just because his mind went there didn’t mean hers did.

“I’m sorry, the dress code is formal. That means at least a tie and jacket for the gentleman and formal evening dress or pantsuit for the lady.” 

“Uh…” Jungkook glanced at their outfits again. “Well this is what we have on so…”

The host looked performatively apologetic as he said, “I’m sorry, I cannot seat you.”

“But… but I made a reservation,” Jungkook argued. “No one’s going to die because I’m not wearing a jacket.”

“Neither of you is dressed appropriately for the restaurant, I’m afraid–”

It was embarrassing, sure, but he also didn’t want Alex to hear someone insinuate she wasn’t dressed nicely, so he ignored that she was grabbing his arm and argued, “Ok but she looks like a million bucks so I don’t– you just need me to put on a jacket and a tie–”

“Jungkook, let’s just go,” she said, trying to push him back towards the door.

“But I made reservations. This isn’t the ‘50s. No one under 50 has a jacket and tie for dinner at a shitty suburban steakhouse on the swamp–”

“Koo, let’s go,” she grunted, and managed to push him back against the door. He pushed it and stepped back out into the cold and felt the anger flare up freely now.

“What the fuck kind of place– am I crazy? Who fucking cares whether I have a jacket and a tie on for–”

“Well they care, it’s their rule!”

“It’s discrimination against young people!”

“Yeah, did you see the people eating in the restaurant?” she laughed. “I don’t think they want young people eating there. They want like rich uppercrust people.”

“Those people don’t live here.”

“Well this place is kind of famous, isn’t it? Maybe they drive in…”

“Is it?”

“I think it was on a TV show,” Alex admitted, before pointing to a plaque beside the door. Apparently it had, and won a bunch of awards. No wonder they cared about the way they looked or whatever.

“Yeah well showing all that by the door is tacky,” Jungkook scowled. Waves of anger and embarrassment rolled over him. “My money is as good as the next guy’s.”

“Ok but who cares, we don’t have to eat at a place like this. Let’s just pick somewhere else,” Alex said, nudging him towards the ramp.

Ugh, Hoseok would definitely have worn the suit and tie.

“Maybe we can just run back to my place and I can grab the suit I wore to the wedding–”

“No, I’m not dressed like that either and I don’t want to change. I spent way longer than I want to admit figuring out what to wear that would be cute and comfy,” she protested.

“But I want to take you to this nice place–”

“I don’t care about the nice place!” she snapped. He really did think she snapped at him, and it shut him up. They marched in silence down the ramp back towards his car. They got into the car. They buckled their seatbelts.

Bad start to the date.

“We can go to Taco Bell for all I care,” Alex suggested.

“That’s a shitty date,” Jungkook sulked. “That’s the kind of date you think I am?”

“There’s nothing wrong with Taco Bell…”

“I’m not taking you to fucking Taco Bell,” he groaned and pulled out his phone and began scrolling again. What was close, and nice, and not a fucking Taco Bell, and not going to turn them away at the door because they weren’t dressed in some shitty elitist outdated formal dining attire. Fuck, he was so angry about it! Even if that was a rule, they couldn’t bend it? They couldn’t seat them somewhere private or something? He was trying to impress a girl here!

“We could do Italian… is that too much wine though? We’re going to a wine tasting afterwards.”

“A wine tasting?” Alex repeated. “Um…”

“You don’t like a wine tasting?”

“No no it’s fine!” Alex assured him. “That’s cute. You really… yeah, it’ll be great,” she smiled at him. “And sure, Italian is fine! Let’s do Italian. What place are you thinking?”

“Tomasso Trattoria and Enoteca,” Jungkook read, and handed her the phone as he started to drive so she could look at it.

“Woah… this place is still really nice though… I was thinking like Olive Garden–”

“Alex, can you please let me take this date seriously? I realize maybe you don’t care but–”

“I care! Care about this being our date? I care!”

“I want it to be a special date!”

“I get it! This place looks very special,” she told him, setting his phone in the cradle with the GPS up. 

He knew his frustration was a wall between them but she didn’t break it down this time. Usually she was good at that. He didn’t know what it meant, that she didn’t try. He wasn’t sure how to do it on his own, because if this was a date with someone else he wouldn’t care, he’d just change the subject and move on and vent about it to Alex later, or invent an excuse to take the girl home and go home. To Alex. Obviously she knew how he was, inside and out, but as he drove in the silence he started to feel a deeper embarrassment, like she’d seen him do something wrong. It wasn’t wrong for him to be annoyed with the restaurant for not letting them in! They had told him formal dress when he made the reservation sure but they didn’t explain that meant anything other than just looking your best! He looked his best! Alex looked her best! What, were they going to wear their wedding clothes or something?

“You know I was thinking about how crazy it is that just everything is Christmas this time of year,” Alex mused. “It’s not like I didn’t know everything is too Christmas and that there are lots of people who doesn’t celebrate who have to deal with it but I guess because we celebrate without being Christian, I didn’t really think about how fucking annoying it is for people who really don’t celebrate. Rebekah was telling me people always act like they’re sorry for her…” She continued to talk about it and he took the moment to breathe deeply. Ok. Change in plans. But Alex wasn’t demanding he take her home, so it would be ok. Even if he didn’t know why the fuck this was what she decided to ramble about, at least it was something.

The Italian place was busier, smaller, not on the water, but still nice and they didn’t get turned away at the door. The host took their coats for them. The tables had real candles, which Jungkook didn’t realize he cared about until they sat down and he saw the actual flicker from the breeze of their motions. The menus were short, which a Reddit thread had taught him meant it was a sign of a good restaurant. Their waiter had a bowtie and a black vest and offered to call over a sommelier to guide their wine selection.

“We’re going to a wine tasting after this,” Alex informed the waiter. “So I’ll wait on the wine.”

“We can have a glass or something here,” Jungkook argued.

Alex shook her head and tapped the wine menu, maybe trying to show him that the cheapest wine was $15/glass at a glance. But he had brought her to an Italian restaurant! For a fancy dinner! Wine was part of a fancy dinner!

“You don’t have to, but I’ll have a glass of something, send the sommelier over,” Jungkook insisted. 

Alex decided she’d have the glass too. They had to show their cards and mused as they always did about how old they would have to be before the stopped getting carded. The waiter brought them bread and promised their calamari appetizer would be out quickly.

“Wow, it’s so romantic here,” Alex murmured. Jungkook felt the sigh of relief radiate from his chest. The candle light danced across her skin as she studied the elaborate murals on the walls, partially obscured by heavy red curtains. Elegant music played over the low din of dining. They were towards the edge of a large room, tucked into a little booth by the window with a view of nothing but trees. A grand piano stood in the center of what looked like a dance floor, tables sparse on the wooden floor.

“I feel bad,” she continued. “I didn’t realize you wanted to do such fancy things, I would have dressed nicer.”

“I think you dressed nice.”

“I did too until I saw you,” she laughed. “I guess I forgot…”

“Forgot what?” he asked, not following.

“What you look like.”

“Whaaaat?” he grinned, warmed by the flattery. The compliments from her felt sincere in a way they hadn’t before. He was used to teasing, so he almost didn’t trust it, but she didn’t look like she was teasing him. Now he found himself hungry for more. Did she really think he was hot? Not just aware that other people thought so, but she thought so? She liked the way he looked? She liked the way he dressed?

“Oh my god,” she snickered and rolled her eyes. “Do you always take your ego on dates with you?”

“No, I left it at home tonight with my jacket and tie,” he joked. She smiled and looked so pretty in the candlelight. He draped his hand across the table, palm down, to see if she’d take the hint and put hers on it. Would they be the kind of couple that held hands at dinner? Obviously not on a first date, but someday would they sit on the same side of the booth? Well, in a more serious way than when they did that at Wendy’s so they could both put their feet up on the other bench, that was different.

“The mood lighting is so… romantic,” she said again. “I feel like I should have worn high heels.”

“Your boots have heels.”

“Yeah but you know what I mean…’

“Do you want to dance until our food gets here?” The question was impulsive. No one else was dancing. But that could mean she wouldn’t have to feel nervous or pressured about dancing on beat with him. They could just hold onto each other and sway, here by the table or over on the dance floor. Maybe other people could join. He had enjoyed dancing with her so much, it would be a nice thing to add tonight.

But her eyes went wide as she cried, “Hey, don’t make fun of me!”

“What–”

“Oh god, don’t joke about it,” she laughed and covered her face. “How fucking humiliating…”

Jungkook hadn’t meant it as a joke. He thought it would be romantic. He certainly hadn’t meant to embarrass her just by the suggestion of dancing together. Unsure what else to say, he racked his brain trying to think of topics. The problem was that the lists of things to talk about on your first date were things like ask about where they grew up and ask about their hobbies and ask them what makes them unique? And ask them where their favorite place in the world is. But Jungkook knew all of these things about her! He wanted to learn something new about her. He wanted to seem new to her.

“Uh… what’s your favorite place in the world?” he asked as she untangled the little legs of their calamari appetizer.

“Mine? I don’t know… my parents’ house? I guess it was our old apartment.”

“Oh. Really?” he frowned.

“Why are you frowning?!”

“That’s just kind of sad.”

“Ok. Ouch.”

“No! I mean because we don’t live there anymore.”

“Oh. Yeah. How annoying,” she sighed. “So what’s Namjoon like as a roommate?”

“He’s a good roommate,” Jungkook said because he didn’t want to gossip or vent or seem complainy. Namjoon was a good roommate! Sure, he had a household aesthetic and a lot of Jungkook’s stuff didn’t meet the mark so he was kind of crowded into his room. 

“That’s it? That’s all you have to say? Come on, you complained about living with me all the time.”

“Ah, yeah, sorry about that…”

“Huh?”

Embarrassed that she’d bring that up, he sipped his $15/glass wine. Yeah, he was worried about that. Alex was his best friend and he’d always treated her like a best friend but that wasn’t the same way you wanted to treat a girlfriend. He had a lot of things to undo. Actually, that was it, their first date wasn’t about learning, it was about unlearning all the things he would never have let a girl see about him. 

“You’re being so weird,” she laughed, and nudged his foot under the table. “Is something wrong?”

“Hm? No, why would something be wrong?”

“Don’t let that other place bother you. I like this place a lot better anyway, this calamari is really good! I hope you still like me when I’m bloated from too much fettuccine…”

Instantly he assured her, “Of course I do. I mean, not that you’ll be bloaty or– I mean, obviously the body naturally looks different after a big dinner but it’s not– I won’t notice that kind of– it’s just normal…”

“It was a joke,” she said. “I’m wearing a bulky sweater, you won’t be able to tell anyway. Unless you get me naked.” She arched her eyebrow. 

“We, um– tonight it’s um… were you thinking that? I thought we’d just have a nice date–”

“Oh. That’s not… nice? OK, I mean I’m half joking, I didn’t realize you had such a tight schedule for tonight!”

Jungkook had never felt so awkward and weird around Alex in his life. The only thing he knew to do was try and get the conversation back on track to Impressive Date Approved topics:

“Hey, so I was watching a really interesting show the other day. It was about the brain and all the changes it goes through from like a baby to a dead person– an old person.”

“The brain does very much still change after you die,” she pointed out. Yeah, dead people and rotting brains was definitely not on the approved list. No girl went home from a date and was like oh boy he was so handsome and charming and funny and we talked about decaying brains. I’m so in love.

She had not said that to him yet. That she loved him. There hadn’t been any real confession or labeling and he was obviously fine with that, he didn’t need labels, but still, it would be cool to get her to say something he could be sure of.

“No, don’t be like that, it was really cool to see– oh thank Christ the food is here.”

“You in a hurry or something?” she laughed. Which reminded him that they did have a scheduled start time for the wine tasting. He checked his phone as the waiter set their food down. 

“Our wine tasting is at 7:30.”

“What?! Then yeah we don’t have much time!”

“Yeah.” Hm, he hadn’t really done the math right– or well he had when he’d made reservations for six at the other place, he just hadn’t counted on needing to change restaurants. Actually they have very little time. “Uh, well, ok, let’s eat fast then…” Eating fast was not romantic. “Or we can miss it. It’s fine.”

But she waved her hand, already twirling pasta around her fork, “No way, we’ll make it. You worked so hard planning all of this! I can eat fast. Damn this is good pasta…. You want to try this?”

He did, but he already envisioned the noodles swinging down and getting on his dark shirt. And then she’d want to try his, which was spaghetti and meatballs (it was one of the cheapest things on the menu, ok?!) and he’d drop one and it would bounce onto her white sweater. It wasn’t worth the risk.

“Nah, we can just eat our own food,” he assured her. 

And promptly knocked his glass of wine to the ground, shattering it.

**

Alex had never seen Jungkook acting so weird in her life. He swung back and forth between distracted and too intense. One moment she’d think he was bored and the next he’d ignore whatever she just said and start telling her a play by play of some brain documentary he watched! He was clearly pissed about the first restaurant turning them away but then didn’t seem to care about the next place even though it was really nice; they had to leave so quickly to get to the wine tasting that they didn’t even get dessert. 

He wasn’t acting like himself at all. Honestly, she felt like another day he might have still been able to sweet talk them into that first restaurant –though she was glad he hadn’t because she wasn’t really comfortable in a place like that anyway. It was bad enough being at the Italian restaurant where Jungkook insisted on paying and the waiter gave her a menu without prices so she didn’t even know how much damage she was doing to Jungkook’s bank account. He didn’t want to talk about any of the things they normally talked about. He didn’t respond to any of her jokes. 

She couldn’t figure it out. Did he just not want to be here? But that didn’t make sense, because if he didn’t want to be here, he wouldn’t be! Jungkook had no problem peacing out of a situation he didn’t want to be in. He’d bailed on her plenty of times, that wasn’t hard for him.

They rushed across town to get to Hollyoak Vineyards for this wine tasting Jungkook had booked them for –and she was confused, because they couldn’t do a vineyard tour in the cold and dark or anything– and made it just in the nick of time. He kept saying over and over that it was fine if they missed it, which seemed to mean it wasn’t fine. 

And then, checking in, winded by the sprint from the car, Alex made a terrible discovery: she had left her wallet and ID at the Italian restaurant. Which might have been fine if Jungkook wasn’t with her, because often she didn’t get carded on her own. But Jungkook made her look younger with that charming babyface of his. The woman asked to see their IDs before they could join the tour and tasting.

“I left it at the restaurant,” she admitted quietly, turning to Jungkook.

For a moment he just looked at her.

“You don’t have your ID?”

“It’s at the restaurant.”

“Uh…”

He froze. He looked between her and the employee and Alex knew that look: somebody fix this for me because I don’t know what to do now. Usually she didn’t see that look unless he was drunk or in emotional crisis. Neither was true now, except that he still wasn’t saying anything.

“Is there another tasting tonight?” Alex asked the employee.

“No, I’m sorry. I can reschedule you for another day?”

“Could he start the tasting now and I’ll go and come back–”

“No, you’ll miss the whole thing,” Jungkook said, reanimated. He pulled his ID off the counter and tucked it back into his wallet. “Ok, we’ll go. Thanks anyway.”

“I’m sorry, I guess it fell out of my purse under the table,” she explained as they left the place. He didn’t say anything. She couldn’t tell if he was pissed or disappointed, but she felt bad either way. “I’m really sorry, Jungkook.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter,” he sighed. “Uh…” They reached the car and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. She didn’t know what he was thinking about or if he was just trying to control his emotions or what. “You want me just to take you home? This is all kind of a bust, huh?”

“Wha? No, don’t take me home yet!”

“You sure? ‘Cause this a pretty fail date so–”

“Oh my god are you serious right now?” she laughed. “It’s fine! Things go wrong sometimes, it’s not that serious. Can’t we just find something else to do?”

He let out a deep, heavy sigh.

“Hey look, I’m sorry I fucked up the wine tasting. We can just do that on another date, I’ll book it.”

“Yeah but…”

“Let’s just go to minigolf or something–”

“I’m not taking you to minigolf,” he huffed, and crossed his arms and leaned against the car, and rolled his eyes.

And frankly, Alex had had enough.

“Why the fuck not? What’s wrong with minigolf? What’s wrong with Taco Bell? I don’t want to be a bitch because I know you put all this effort into planning all of these things but why are you acting like we’re suddenly too good to– ok, we tried this fancy stuff and things went wrong so let’s just do something else! It doesn’t have to be a big deal!”

“It does have to be a big deal, Alex! It’s our first fucking date!”

“So?!” she shouted, throwing her arms up.

“What do you mean ‘so’?! It’s our first date! The first date we ever go on!” he shouted back.

“Yeah I know that! But it doesn’t have to be like some big…” She couldn’t think of the right words. Her shouting fizzled a bit as she thought through what he’d just said, and how actually very sweet that was.

“I wanted it to be big,” he insisted. “Hoseok always took you on these big fancy dates, right? Yeah, I can do that too!”

“Oh, Jungkook,” she sighed. And walked around and grabbed his coat and headbutted his chest and let her head rest there. “You dummy.”

“What?”

“Don’t worry about what Hoseok did. Who cares?”

“You cared.”

“Past tense,” she pointed out, craning her neck to look up at him from so close. “Now I’m out on a date with you. I don’t have this like high expectation of–”

“Of a good date? You should. That’s shitty, I don’t–”

“We can do anything and it’s a good date. I just wanted to spend time with you. We already know all kinds of things we like doing together.”

“Yeah but this isn’t just hanging out, Alex. It’s a date date. I wanted it to be special.”

“It is special, you idiot.” She hit him on the arm several times to try and make him smile. “It’s us. Obviously it’s special.”

“No, we’ve always been just friends. This needs to be big so you know it’s different–”

“Do you think I’m a stupid little baby? Is that why you were telling me about baby brains? I know this is different! You brought me flowers and looked all nervous and awkward on my couch!” It was more fun to tease him than admit her own nerves as she’d dressed and redressed and then redressed again. But the excitement for her had been a thousand times louder than the nerves. Nervous-excited, not nervous-afraid.

He sounded nervous-afraid.

“Yeah but–”

“I put on sexy underwear and eyeliner! The pointy way you said looks good!”

“I know that– I mean not about the underwear but–”

“So why are you being so weird about our date? There’s no point if you don’t actually enjoy spending time with me.”

“What are you talking about?” he demanded, eyebrows furrowing into the little V she had predicted. “Of course I like spending time with you.”

“Yeah? What do you like doing with me?”

“I don’t know, just… stuff. Like… but it’s just been friend stuff before–”

“I’m no expert, but I think dating is kind of just doing the same things we always did except we say it’s a date now,” she pointed out. “You don’t think so? Or are you worried you don’t actually like me or something?”

“I like you, Alex, that’s why I’m nervous. Pretty sure I used a word stronger than ‘like’ before too.”

She let that sit for a moment. Hearing Jungkook admit he was nervous was a completely different lens to look at the whole evening. Hearing Jungkook reiterate that he liked her was like, nauseatingly unbelievable. 

Ok, now she was having a harder time not being nervous-afraid because yeah, this was pretty crazy, being on a date date with Jungkook that he was taking so seriously because he liked her and she liked him too. Oh god.

“Are you… are you just cranky because you’re worried about having a bad first date?” she fumbled out.

“Yeah! Obviously! Jesus, it’s like you– are you fucking with me right now?!”

“Oh my god, you are so high strung right now,” she sighed and pulled on his jacket. “Jungkook! Chill! Are you serious?”

“I just…”

“Baby,” she said, and reached up to grab his face in a burst of confidence fueled by all of his nonsense. “Baby Koo.”

“Shut up,” he grumbled.

“No, don’t be grumpy. Look at me.” He begrudgingly did so; he didn’t have much of a choice with her holding his head. “Thank you for a wonderful dinner and for scheduling the wine tasting I fucked up. This whole evening is really special to me. The fact you worked so hard to make it special makes me feel really special. I don’t want to say goodnight yet, so I’d really like ice cream and minigolf with you.”

“Why are you so obsessed with minigolf?” he mumbled.

“I don’t know, I just think it’s a cute date idea and I like doing dumb things like that with you,” she shrugged, letting her hands fall away. He caught hold of them though and held. His fingers were cold. “I’m still allowed to like it, even when it’s a date date.”

“Yeah, well…” His mouth twisted in thought, so cute. “My original plan was to do minigolf,” he confessed. “And the taco truck. But then everyone acted like that was really lame and low effort so I wanted to do something bigger so you would know–”

“Fuck that!” Alex cried. “And fuck them! I like minigolf and tacos!”

“I know you like that but I wanted to like… I want you to be all giddy and stuff, you know? No one gets giddy over minigolf.”

“They do when they win,” she beamed. “You wouldn’t know about that. Since you never win.” 

His eyes narrowed. “Uh, pretty sure I always beat your ass. I can’t let you win, just because it’s a date.”

“Who said anything about let?”

“Ugggh but see? I can’t beat your ass, that’ll be a bad date.”

“Then let me win.”

“You’d hate me forever.”

“I wouldn’t hate you! I’d just be shocked you were down that bad for me– I don’t think your ego could let someone–”

“Hey, I let girls win that shit all the time,” he interrupted. “I don’t let you win because I respect you so much.”

“Yeah or because you aren’t trying to get into my pants.”

“No, but I do want into your pants now.”

“Well… sounds like you know what to do then…” She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows and felt full body relief. Everything made so much more sense now. She should have figured it out sooner that Jungkook was just nervous and frustrated that things weren’t going to his plan when he was trying so hard! But how could she have guessed he was this worked up about impressing her? It was just her!

“Alex,” he whined her name. She started to walk around the car but he was still holding her wrist and pulled her back. “We can’t play minigolf. Forty years from now we’ll be talking about our first date and I’m going to say I took you to play fucking minigolf?”

Damn. Damn that sounded serious. 

“Um, well,” she stammered, distracted at the casual way in which he’d basically just been like yeah we’re going to be together forever. “Well first you’ll probably tease me about forgetting my wallet and then you’ll probably tease me about being easy or childish because I wanted to play minigolf.”

“Ah, that’s true… you asked for it. I’m just giving you what you wanted.” His voice lowered as he said it, as he pulled her closer, no secret about the innuendo.

“Giving me what I want is always the right move,” she agreed, and lifted her face so he wouldn’t have to crouch too far for the kiss she thought he was leading into. There was only a moment of hesitation during which she worried she’d read him wrong. Maybe this just wasn’t normal yet, but they wanted it. He smiled into the kiss, giving too much teeth against hers, but she tilted her face and the kiss softened and Alex forgot to breathe. You know, just Jungkook, kissing her in the parking lot, nose pressed against hers, warm breath and saliva mingling with hers.

She overbalanced on her toes and they fell back against his car but he caught his own weight and towered over her. 

“Maybe you should go back to being pissy and mean,” she breathed.

“Huh?”

“You’re making me dizzy,” she admitted with a laugh. “I know we kissed the other night but–” 

Jungkook cut her off with another kiss that made her toes curl and her heart stutter.

“Yeah?” he murmured, sounding a bit breathless himself as his nose gently nudged hers. “Am I giving you butterflies kissing you in the parking lot of the wine tasting we didn’t get to do?”

“Yeah.”

He sighed, wine-scented breath warm across her face. “Can you please be a little more high maintenance? I’m giving you permission to be demanding!”

“Oh, I will be, without your permission,” she assured him with a cheeky grin. “You seem to be forgetting– well, I won’t remind you. You just keep those rose-tinted glasses on for a while. At least until I make you cry at minigolf.”

“Ok, are you just forgetting that you’re really bad at minigolf? Because I have not forgotten it–”

“That’s not true! I’ve won before!”

“Yeah, by sabotaging me,” he pointed out.

“Mm-hm and now I can sabotage you even more, right? Like… oops I dropped my ball!” she joked and slid from his arms to bend over and pick it up. So he had a nice profile of just how high her skirt would go. She was wearing tights, it wasn’t going to show anything but look, she’d learned a few things over the years about what Jungkook liked. He liked the tease. The suggestion. Maybe he liked it more than the real thing. 

She hoped he didn’t like the idea of her more than the real thing.

Also he really liked ass, so at least that was a safe bet.

He grumbled and demanded, “How many dates do we have to go on before I’m allowed to spank when you do something like that?”

Oh god be cool she begged herself because, you know, Jungkook had basically just asked to spank her. Jungkook. Spanking her. Just… spanking her. Cool. Cool cool.

“Um… three.”

He looked unhappy about it but nodded, “Ok. So you’re just going to tease me a lot tonight then?”

“Yeah, probably. But if you cry when you lose, I’ll comfort you. I’m not totally mean.”

“Yeah, I’ll give you a hug when you lose,” he promised. “I’m a caring date.”

“You’re a nice guy.”

“Yeah, I’m a nice guy,” he laughed, then tried to tickle and poke her through her coat. “I am. Sorry if I was weird or whatever tonight.”

“Hey, why are you talking like the night is over? You are still on a date,” she argued. 

“Right right, I have to make your dreams come true. Minigolf and ice cream.”

“And you,” she added, sort of without meaning to. At least the vulnerability of it hit her after she’d said the words. She just had meant to specify he was an important part of why she would like those things on a date!

But the thing was, she didn’t really feel vulnerable tonight in a bad way. She didn’t feel as nervous or impostery as she had feared. This was Jungkook! She didn’t think there was anyone in the world she was safer with and all his efforts and overthinking seemed to prove that. He’d taken on all the nerves for her. What a great guy.

He smiled, that goofy crooked toothy grin of her best friend, and said, “Well call me a dreamboy, baby, because I’m about to make all your dreams come true–”

“Ok you did not get laid with lines like that,” Alex said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, sure I did!”

“No.”

“I did! Are you saying that did not make you cream your panties? What kind of panties did you say again–”

“Oh my god, just get in the car.”

“Fine, what date can I ask about your panties? Because I thought that one was ok since we talked about it the other night.”

“My panties?”

“Yeah.”

“You mean because you’ve been hoarding my underwear at your–”

“Woah woah I did not– I told you they were just mixed in with–”

“They?! How many of my underwear do you have?!”

“Get in the car, Song.”

She giggled and continued to taunt him as the car heated up and he looked up places. There was an indoor one at the mall they were familiar with but Alex wanted the outside one which was still open through the end of the month and served ice cream.

“You sure you’re ok with outside?”

“I’ll be fine! I have a coat and sweater tights.”

“Oh is that why they look fancy?”

“Yeah, they’re textured. Want to feel them?” she teased as he drove. But he took the advantage, letting his hand slide across her thigh. She got very quiet. His hand just looked so familiar and comfortable there, like that was his thigh. 

“Yeah, I like these,” he nodded. “Your whole outfit.”

She waited, then sighed, “You noticed I couldn’t get my eyeliner straight, didn’t you?”

“Well, that’s why you have me now,” he laughed. “I can help next time.”

“Look you weren’t the only one nervous, ok?”

“Yeah? What were you nervous about, baby?” he asked, still rubbing her thigh. He might as well have been rubbing somewhere else with that firm grip. The devil part of her wanted to just ask him to let his hand run higher, maybe a sequel to the other night…

“Yeah don’t act all cocky now. I know your secret!” she retorted and adjusted her skirt.

“What’s my secret?”

“You like me.”

“You’re right, that is a very well kept secret,” he laughed. “Please don’t spread that around. There might still be a couple people in town I didn’t drunkenly blab that to in the last few months.”

She sighed happily at his expense. Maybe the craziest thing wasn’t being on a date with ex-best-turned-best-friend-again Jungkook. Maybe the craziest thing was that being on an actual date with him didn’t feel as crazy as she’d always expected it to. Would that come later? She hadn’t felt mismatched on his arm walking into either restaurant like she’d expected to. Yes, he was the hottest guy in any room. And he wanted to put his face between her legs, so what did that make her?

Ok, that part was still a little wild and crazy. Not only that he’d wanted to but she’d let him. Maybe she’d even let him do it for real next time.

“You ok?”

“Hm?”

“Is it too hot in here now?” he asked.

“Yeah, way too hot,” she agreed, reaching forward to crank the heat down. Jungkook cracked the windows. She drank the cool air in and pushed back against the warm tingling starting to build up. 

“So what did your parents say when you told them I was picking you up for a date tonight?” he asked, throat clearing. It made her suspicious in two directions.

“Why, what did they say to you?” she asked, the safer question than: why you clearing your throat, boo? Whatcha thinking about? 

“Nothing, they were just acting kind of weird…”

“I told them we were going on a date date and they were just like ‘oh really? That’s nice.’ I don’t think they believed me!”

“Well I was dressed up with flowers.”

“Plus you were acting super weird too,” Alex pointed out.

“Thanks, babe.”

His hand left her thigh as he took a sharp turn and Alex wished he’d read her mind and put it back, but he did not.

“Let’s get your wallet, dummy.”

Fifteen minutes and one returned wallet later, he pulled into the minigolf parking lot and pressed, “You sure you want to do this?”

“Why? You scared?”

“No, I meant because it’s cold–”

“You’re scared.”

“I’m not scared, Alex. You golf like a toddler.”

“It’s minigolf, that’s the point!”

“That’s not the… whatever, ice cream before or after?”

“During. I’m ready to doublefist a cone and a club.”

It really was fucking cold outside, but the course was lit and they weren’t the only ones. The snack bar served them the ice cream, the employee giving them a raised eyebrow but handing the cones over. Jungkook hit his first ball straight into a pond and Alex got a scathing look from a mom when she shouted what are you the fucking hulk? It’s minigolf! While he shouted accusations at her That was your fault! Why are you bending over like that to tie your shoe? Your boots don’t even have laces! 

The truth was they were both pretty bad at minigolf tonight. Their teeth chattered and they huddled together from one hole to the next. They fucked with each other every single turn –dirty jokes, terrible impersonations, quoting memes and movies they knew would get a rise out of each other. Jungkook tried the same move she’d done in the beginning, even pulling his coat up to make sure she could see his ass, sulked when it didn’t work, and pretended like he was going to do a full on striptease –which would definitely have led to Alex’s premature death. Later she offered to suck his fingers to warm them up and he fell to the ground claiming he’d sprained his dick. 

And then it started to rain.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Jungkook shouted as Alex grabbed his hand and ran with him into the mountain tunnel in the center of the course. “It wasn’t supposed to rain until 9!”

“The weather does what it wants.”

“Yeah but it’s fucking with my date. You don’t like getting rained on! Unless today is the day we try the naked thing–”

She laughed and pulled him down closer to kiss his wet face. His skin was so cold. Their lips and noses were stiff. The sweetness of his mint choco ice cream lingered on his tongue. Alex stood on the railing for height and lost herself in the taste. She thought she’d be taking this dumb fantasy to her grave and yet here they were, making out in the minigolf mountain like the horny teenages they hadn’t gotten to be with each other. 

After several long, lazy, uncounted minutes had passed, they huddled together at the exit to survey the remaining distance. The rain was not letting up.

“Did you make it rain?” he demanded. “You’re that upset I’m beating you?”

“Uh… you aren’t beating me.”

“Alex, I’m totally beating you.”

“You totally aren’t.”

“Then what’s the score?”

“I don’t know but you don’t know either!”

“7-11.”

“You liar!” she laughed and tried to hit his ass. “Fine, we’ll count for real now.”

“Wait, what for real now? It’s raining!”

“It’s not raining that hard.”

“It’s hard enough!” he cried, then instantly laughed and wiggled his eyebrows, then groaned, “But I’m not, I’m freezing!”

“All right, let’s golf fast! Orrrr you could admit defeat.”

“Never,” he glared and grabbed his putter and took off.

The cheating was flagrant and largely futile. Putters were traded for kicking, rolling, and eventually just dropping the ball in the hole. They shouted numbers to make each other lose count. They were laughing so hard, doubled over at times as the rain grew heavier and colder. She really did hate the way her clothes and hair clung to her wet skin, but it was worth it to endure. This was a special night.

“We’re idiots!” Alex laughed, then shrieked as she slipped on a little bridge. Jungkook dove forward and rammed his elbow on the metal railing, didn’t help her, and sank to the ground like he’d been knocked out. “Get up! Get up! You’ll get hypothermia!”

Instead he took her putter and shouted, “Good luck winning now!” and limped forward, clutching his elbow. Alex ran ahead of him and managed to shove her ball into the final return hole just as he tried to kick his in. Instead he kicked her in the shoulder and shouted in horror. She tried to stand, he tried to crouch.

“Fuck!”

“Up up we have to get back to the car, we’re going to freeze to death!” Jungkook shouted at her, grabbing her arm. They half-limped, half-ran back to the parking lot, tossing their putters in the return rack without stopping.

“We’re such idiots, we’re going to get sick and die,” Alex wailed as they stripped their wet coats off and shoved them in the backseat. Jungkook cranked the heat up. “Fuck, I hate my bangs!” she laughed, swiping at the hair plastered to her face, poking her in the eyes. “At least I wore my contacts.”

Jungkook’s hands replaced hers, pushing them back, followed by his cold lips against her forehead, her nose and then her mouth, all one smooth motion that completely overwhelmed her. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders in surprise as he grabbed her arms and pulled her closer, like the laughter and running and cheating had turned into raw energy that he now funneled into a hard, desperate kiss. The joy in that kiss made the world spin around her. The windows were fogging up and she felt that desperation again. Touch me, taste me, take me, do anything to me, let me be the girl you want.

“Alex.”

“Koo.”

His breath warmed her frozen nose and stung her frozen cheeks. 

“Was this the worst date ever?”

She glared. “No! It was good because it was with me, right?”

“We’re both going to get the flu.”

“Stop complaining and just kiss me again,” she ordered, pulling him across the console this time. He pressed her into the seat, contorted, mouth getting hotter against hers by the second. 

“God I can’t believe this was the best date of my life,” he completely contradicted himself.

The giggles burst out of her, “Damn. Really? That’s sad–”

He shoved icy fingers under her sweater to tickle and she screamed and kicked the dashboard in her attempts to flee. He just wrapped his arms around her and pressed his frozen nose into her neck, squeezing tighter.

“You asshole, let me go!”

“Never.”

“Jungkook!”

“You said you wanted outdoor minigolf, you suffer the consequences! I’m warming my nose up.”

“I’m so uncomfortably wet!”

“Yeah baby–”

“No, in a bad way!”

“Love leaving a girl wet in a bad way on our first date–” She couldn’t hear what else he said, drowned out by her laughter. Someone was going to think they were fucking in here with the way windows had fogged up so quickly and they were shaking the car. She pushed him away and adjusted the heat and wiped at the condensation on her window. Now it was uncomfortably hot, and also her clothing really felt disgusting like this. The fluffy sweater was scratchy and gross. She pulled it away from her skin but it just clung right back.

Jungkook shook his head.

“What?”

“I tried so hard to make this date nice,” he laughed.

“Oh my god you’re so hung up on this. I’m having a great time!”

But perfectionist Jungkook. She should have known he’d have some specific idea in mind! He struggled when things didn’t go the way he planned, if he wanted them a certain way. Usually he’d insist he didn’t care and overcompensate in his frustration, make too much of a joke about things in an effort to be cool that was always obvious and annoying. He hadn’t done that! But she knew frustration lingered with him and she didn’t want that to be what overshadowed their date!

“Seriously. Please don’t remember our first date as a failure. Ok, how about this, what if we decide this was just a trial run.”

“Uh huh.”

“Our next date is our first date,” she explained, twisting in the seat. It was gross, her tights and skirt squished. “We’ll just keep having first dates until you’re happy.”

“Wait, but I’m happy. Don’t make it sound like I’m not.”

“Uh, you aren’t though, you’re the only one in this car who’s unhappy.”

“I’m happy,” he insisted, eyebrows going up, lips pouting. “It’s just not as good as I wanted to do for you, but I’m happy. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m on a date with Alex Song!”

“Oh please…”

“I meant that seriously.”

“You said it like a joke.”

“I meant it seriously,” he insisted. “I want to impress you, you know? You’ve seen the worst of me for so long, I want you to see the best of me too. Like that I can take you on a really fun, nice date, not that I’m just some lazy, sex-obsessed asshole–.”

“I see the best of you all the time too, or I wouldn’t be on a date with you in the first place. I already know we can have a great time even when things go wrong. This date was genuinely great but even if it was actually awful, I’d still have fun with you, it’s one of the things I’ve always… liked about you.” Loved about you.

She didn’t say it.

She balked.

She didn’t know why she didn’t say it. She had expected the words to just roll right off her tongue. Because she did, she knew she loved him, and not too long ago she could have said it without any hesitation.

But it meant something more now, and the words tangled up behind her cold teeth.

She hurried to add, “I know that you can be both a really sweet, thoughtful guy and a lazy, sex-obsessed–”

“Ok ok,” he huffed, pouting he’d set her up for a zinger like that. He turned on the headlights and sighed. “I’d better get you home so you can put on your jammies. I’ll feel like an asshole if I really do get you sick right before Christmas.”

“I’m the one who insisted on minigolf.”

“Ok, it’s your fault then.”

“Jungkook!”

“Hey don’t hit me, I’m driving! That’s just what we need tonight, a car wreck!”

“Fine, you’re safe for now…”

She curled up in her seat and tried not to make it obvious she was staring at him. The streetlights flickering through the rain on the windshield cast spotted shadows on his wet face but she could tell his nose was still red and sniffly. 

He was cute. And sweet. It was endearing he’d been so serious and competitive about their date. She’d known him for so long but still she had learned something new about him tonight: he was not confident on a date. She had always known he had a gooey soft interior but he was so suave with women, she had assumed he would be all confidence and charm on a date. Instead he was a grumpy sulky baby when things weren’t going the way he planned. 

Her grumpy sulky baby. Just like she’d always wanted. Hot as shit on the outside, sulky baby on the inside.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” he asked, glancing nervously her way at a red light.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“Nothing!”

He reached out and sank his fingers into her thigh like a claw.

“NO! Don’t tickle me, you’re driving!” she shrieked and tried to fend him off. Fortunately the light turned green, saving her. “Rude!”

“I just want to know what you're thinking. I’m on pins and needles here.”

She decided to tease him more. “Well… I’m thinking I’d like to see you again.”

“Oh? Yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe at our joint family dinner on Christmas Eve?”

“Booo,” he scowled. “Before that. That’s not a date, that’s a duty.”

“You want another date before that?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow, I’m a really good date, huh?” she grinned.

“Yeah, you’re cute.”

“I was joking!”

“I’m not.”

“Fine. How about I’ll plan the next date. When are you free, is it on the calendar?”

“Yeah, it’s on the calendar. Any time I’m not working is yours.”

She didn’t comment. She couldn’t comment on any of these things. Because this was just mundane, joky conversation, but the fact they casually making more plans together hit her like a bus. Part of her brain was like yeah, making plans with Jungkook, totally normal while the other part reminded you’re dating Jungkook. 

He pulled to a stop in front of her house and started to get out.

“No don’t walk me to the door, it’s still pouring.”

“Yeah, but–”

“No, seriously. My parents might be watching the door anyway.”

“Yeah but…”

“Hey,” she said. “Save it for the first date. I’ll walk you to your front door at the end of the night.”

“Oh you’re driving?”

“Yeah, babygirl, we are equals,” she grinned.

“Did you just… just ‘babygirl’ me?”

“Yesssss,” she started to laugh before his fingers even tried to wedge under her shirt again. He kissed her before she caught her breath; she laughed and squirmed and it made their lips slide, the messiest kiss. 

“K, get out of my car, I need to get home and shower before I get sick,” he said.

“Hold on, Jesus, I’m dizzy.”

“Huh?”

“You can’t just kiss a girl like that and then kick her out of your car, I’ll trip and die–”

“Ok, I’m walking you in.”

“No, stay put.”

“You said you’re dizzy!”

She squeezed his face so full of concern, and shook her head, “Goodnight. Thanks for the amazing date, I had a lot of fun despite your whining about it.”

“Hey!”

His shouted protests were swallowed quickly by the rain as she held her coat over her head and ran into her house. She was right that Baba had been watching the door and swung it open to let her in quickly.

“Alex, you’re wet! Did you get caught in the rain?”

“Thanks, Baba, goodnight!” Alex sang as she yanked her boots off, tossed her coat, and floated to her room. 

There in the privacy of her bedroom, she covered her face and let out a silent scream.

He tried so hard!

He cared so much!

He was so handsome!

He was so awkward about their date and god, she loved him for it. Didn’t he understand how perfect it was? It was exactly what she had hoped for. The effort. The attention. All for her. 

She looked forward to teasing him about it for forty years. 

Especially the photo he posted to his Snap and Insta story of him with a towel around his shoulders, shirt clinging to his body, hair damp and tousled, giving a thumbs-up with the caption yeah everything went wrong but I got a second date so… Followed by a text only post on insta lol she ain’t on here fam she deleted insta a while ago

So he wasn’t talking about their date on insta as some kind of game or lure or to signal to her that he wasn’t still trying to hook up with women? He did it just to… share? Brag? Signal to women on instagram he wasn’t looking? Was he just excited about his date and used to sharing things on social media and didn’t think through the impact on his free sex life because that wasn’t a priority to him?

“Grrrr why are you so fucking cute,” she grumbled. “I’m supposed to be the cute one. Stay in your hot lane. ”

She DMed him a kissy face emoji in response to the story to give him a heart attack and went to shower. And afterwards had a good laugh when the stories and the pre-date photo were gone.

[AlandPals]: 😘

[TheJK.97]: 😎

[AlandPals]: take off the sunglasses

[TheJK.97]:  😵🪦

[TheJK.97]:  so uh when did you dl insta?

[AlandPals]: night bunny

[TheJK.97]:  that is NOT my petname

[TheJK.97]:  night earwig

[AlandPals]: night weevil

[TheJK.97]:  night shrimp cocktail

[AlandPals]: night nutter butter

[TheJK.97]:  night cheeto finger

[AlandPals]: night kookie crisp

[TheJK.97]:  night booberry

[TheJK.97]:  night pistachio

[TheJK.97]: night titmouse (that’s a bird look it up)

[TheJK.97]: did you fall asleep on me??

[TheJK.97]: I win 😁

Alex let him have this one. He’d earned it.

KEEP READING PARTY B

#jungkook x oc #jeon jungkook x oc #jungkook smut #jungkook f2l #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bangtan smut #bts smut #jungkook fanfiction #fuckboy au #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook series #jungkook/reader #jungkook/oc #jungkook #tellmewhatchanged #tell me what changed #tmwc #fuckboy jungkook #jeon jungkook ff #jungkook fanfic

[fizzigigsimmer]

Nerd!Steve but lets make it fun. Steve comes from a family of brilliant people. His dad’s a super genius who married another genius and they’re both off winning awards for cultivating life on Mars or whatever, meanwhile there’s Steve the “dumb” one. The disappointing son with his weird interests in the paranormal whose inventions never seem to quite work and his job as an IT tech. “Have you tried turning the system off and on?” Steve and his friends (Enter Dustin and the scoops troop) have been convinced for years that the Russians are developing some kind of supernatural super weapon, and it turns out he’s actually right.

The Russians have been working on opening gates to a parallel dimension and as a result freaky shit keeps leaking through and causing death and mayhem that the government has to sweep under the rug. Most of that cleanup falls to the CIA’s Stargate division. Billy is a top field agent with a reputation for getting the job done no matter what the stakes. Unfortunately for his operations team, keeping up with his maverick tendencies is almost as much of a headache as the operations themselves. His life tangles with Steve’s when a machine of his actually works and he and his friends end up in the cross hairs of Russian agents who happen to be targets in Billy’s latest mission. Shit goes sideways and Billy ends up needing their help to complete his mission.

Billy’s team is used to his antics. Heather has betting pools going about how quickly the next “Bond Girl” will show up and whether or not Billy will fall into her web before she trys and kills him when it’s inevitably revealed that she’s been working for the enemy the whole time. Seriously the guy wouldn’t know a healthy relationship if it walked up and volunteered to pay for his therapy. No one was counting on the nerds or how Billy would respond to one of them in particular. It’s insane, but also hilarious AF watching Billy struggle to keep the bumbling civilians alive, and don’t think she hasn’t clocked how he can’t leave the pretty one with the glasses alone. It’s like watching two little boys in a sand pit. He’s always in Steve’s face and pulling on his pigtails, you’d never know this was the man of mystery who has left a trail of broken hearts on seven continents. If he can just pull his head out of his ass maybe she’s not going to have to start setting him up on blind dates after all.

Steve thinks Billy is the WORST. He’s pushy and arrogant and won’t stop touching Steve’s tools even though he’s made it clear he has a specific system for them!!! He gets that Billy is trying to annoy him to death as payback for ruining his operation, but none of that was Steve’s fault and Billy should really be a lot more grateful that Steve and the others are here to help; because they never would have known what the Russians were up to or had a chance at stopping it without them. So what if Steve can’t win a fight, he’s about to save the fucking world so give him some credit! Billy could at the very least stop teasing him with that ‘Pretty Boy’ crap. Steve went to high school okay, he knows he doesn’t compare to guys like Billy.

Billy is pretty sure Steve is the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. He’s not sure how he’s still alive when he attracts disaster like a magnet, or how someone so brilliant can be so dense. The fact that Steve thinks he’s dumb though like genuinely baffles him and he kinda wants to punch everyone who ever made him feel like he was less than just because he didn’t meet their expectations. Kinda wants to punch something every time he looks at Steve honestly. Billy’s used to beautiful people throwing themselves at him constantly, so can someone explain why his favorite thing all of a sudden are the little folds in Steve when he’s concentrating, and the way his eyes light up all ‘Aha!’ right when he thinks of a good comeback to one of Billy’s jibes? He is not this guy! He doesn’t do attachments for damn good reason. So Why does he want to listen to Steve and Dustin fighting over what the CIA is hiding in Area 51 and why does he get such a kick out of how they collectively lose their minds when he hints that he’s been there.

Billy’s not attached, but if Steve wanted to sleep with him he’d be down. They’re hot and tommorrow might never come and all that. But hey, if it does he’s hinted a few times that the teams Digital Targeter Daniel has been talking about retirement. It’ll be hard finding a replacement you know, cause Billy is picky and he doesn’t just want someone who knows tech but someone who isn’t afraid to be in the field with him.

Steve’s like, “oh man, I can see what you mean. Good luck, I really hope you find someone”.

#harringrove #billy hargrove #steve harrington #Secret agent Billy and Tech nerd Steve #I can hear the banter #Steve would totally think Billy hated his guts and only tolerated him for the mission #But then Steve would do some dumb hero shit and Billy would be losing his mind #Why didn’t you stick to the plan!!!! And Steve’s all confusion cause Billy like NEVER sticks to the plan #And then it clicks #oh #he cares #He cares 😍!!!!

[mauesartetc]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss Episode 203 (”Exes and Oohs”)

Pros:

- Crimson’s facial animation is great, especially when Moxxie and Millie first walk through his door, and when he finds out Chaz isn’t rich. His expressions convey a lot of menace through the timing and eye movements alone. It’s subtle, but I hope whoever animated those scenes knows their efforts haven’t gone unnoticed.

- I like the concept of Crimson’s trophy wall, which shows he actually keeps mementos of those he’s killed, seeing them as no better than animals for him to hunt. Now if there are actually cops in this version of Hell (which the existence of jail implies), this would look very suspicious if they ever stopped by, like a serial killer displaying the hands, eyeballs, etc of his victims. But I guess he could always press a button and flip them all to the dildo side if he didn’t mind the weird looks he’d inevitably get.

- I actually liked Moxxie’s introduction to Blitzo in the flashback. It showcases his fast-talking, big-thinking personality well. Shame he’d go on to treat Moxxie like shit after this.

- I wasn’t expecting the dildo scene to get a laugh out of me, but goddammit it did. It’s such an absurd overcompensation from an old straight dude who thinks he knows what the gays like that it caught me off guard. It’d be kinda tasteless if Moxxie were the butt of the joke, but clearly he’s the straight man (no pun intended) here. The real source of humor is Crimson’s misguided, ridiculously silly attempt to accommodate his son, which just shows how little he really knows (or cares to learn) about him.

- Fuck YES, Moxxie standing up to his dad. Great, satisfying scene. Now do it to Blitzo, Mox. It’s been a looong time comin’.

- Millie’s climactic fight scene is pretty good. The choreography is fluid, the kills are creative and fun to watch, and the music fits perfectly. There’s just one aspect holding the sequence back from being great, which we’ll get into later.

- Good ending. Shows what became of Chaz and hints that Crimson might try to get revenge on Moxxie in the future. More Crimson is a win in my book.

Cons after the cut.

Cons:

- Dammit, the “Moxxie is fat” jokes were never funny, show. Let ‘em die.

- So Crimson lives in the Greed ring, yeah? Why is everything green? The color traditionally associated with greed as a sin is yellow, while green is reserved for envy. For that matter, you’d think all the sharks here would fit in better in the Envy ring, since it’s ruled by Leviathan, a sea creature. Did they seriously just slap the wrong name on the Envy ring? They used the traditional deep blue for the Lust ring back in “Ozzie’s”, so this is a glaring inconsistency.

- I’ve mentioned before that Viv Medrano likes using the same design elements a bit too much in her characters (bow ties, gold teeth, differently-colored fingertips, etc), and it looks like we can add concentric eye rings to the list. Notice how both Striker and Chaz have these.

The other sharks in the mob have them too, but Striker’s an imp, not a shark (despite looking like he was ripped off from a shark), so it’s not species-related. Does it represent the characters’ personalities or serve any sort of plot function? Fuck if I know.

- Bit of a nitpick, but the black “cross” shape at the tip of Chaz’s nose is wildly inconsistent from scene to scene. Sometimes it’s thin, sometimes it’s thick, sometimes it has pointed tips, sometimes it has rounded ones. More thorough model sheets for the cleanup department would help mitigate this in the future.

- So prison is a thing that exists in Hell, huh? And so are banks, I guess. And they look exactly the same as they do in the human world. See, this isn’t the kind of episode that’d necessarily benefit from worldbuilding, since it’s not relevant to the plot (or not yet, anyway, but we’ll get there). But seeing all these ordinary settings just reminds me of how pointless the entire “Hell” thing is, and how no one could be bothered to invent a new world for the characters to live in. (Seriously, demon characters disguised as humans in the human world. I’m tellin’ ya. Barely anything in the story would change.)

- Guys, ya didn’t have to explain the Titanic reference. Most viewers probably would have caught it even if Blitzo hadn’t pointed it out. I’m sure even the zoomers who hadn’t been born when it came out would at least recognize the meme. Give your audience more credit.

- I’ll level with y’all: The dildo pixellation is distracting as hell. If a show made for network TV had it, fine, I understand. But Helluva Boss is made for the internet, which has much more lenient censorship standards. Hell, BoJack Horseman, a Netflix show, features a sex robot with a couple attached dildos, neither of which are censored. Is this just a Youtube monetization thing I’m not aware of? Because I checked their community guidelines, and while they mention “using sex toys to give viewers sexual gratification”, there’s nothing remotely sexy about their use in this episode. They function only as comedic props, not tools of titillation. All about that context, baby. Not that I’m super gung-ho to see a bunch of multicolored dicks in their full glory; the censorship’s just a little annoying.

- I understand the need to give Moxxie a reason to fear Crimson, but the physical violence is a tad gratuitous. Crimson didn’t really need to hit Moxxie’s mom in the past, or Moxxie in the present, to be intimidating. Abusers don’t have to lay a finger on their victims in order to frighten them.

I’m starting to see a pattern: Stella tried to hit Stolas, too. It’s like these writers think abuse needs to employ some physical element, or else it’s not really abuse. Which... no, that’s not at all how it works. And considering how Moxxie escaped an abuser only to find himself working for another one (oh, but he’s hard on him because he CaREs, guys! Yeah, bullshit), it only makes this sequence harder to watch. Mox deserves so much better.

- Helping his dad drown that guy seems like a traumatic memory for Moxxie, so why is he in a business where all he does is kill people? Hasn’t he ever wanted or tried to be anything else? A musician, maybe? We know he can sing and play guitar, so...

- Holy shit, did we really need that shot of Crimson with the dildos just after the exceedingly dark flashback? Talk about tone whiplash!

- I mentioned earlier that worldbuilding wouldn’t affect this episode’s plot... for the most part. The wedding scene is a case in which it would.

So, really think about this for a second: We’re in Hell. And there’s a wedding that looks like a typical one would in the human world. We’ve got flowers, an aisle, a block of chairs on either side, and...

A priest?!

Seriously, the dude officiating is dressed up like a Christian priest. White robes, hat, the works. Sure, his outfit and book have inverted crosses, but that doesn’t explain why everything else looks so similar to what you might see in a Christian ceremony. It’s like the demons of Hell saw a Christian wedding and were like, “Oh cool let’s do it exactly like that”. Don’t you think Lucifer, the king of Hell in this universe, might have a tiny problem with this??

And for that matter, why is marriage even a thing in Hell? Why do demons feel the need to justify their long-term relationships with human customs? Why can’t they form their own traditions to celebrate their love?

I get that this is all visual shorthand the audience will be familiar with. I get that they’ll take it all in and recognize this event as a wedding in seconds. But in earlier scenes, Crimson already established that a wedding would take place the next day. So with that label in mind, the audience should be able to tell that this ceremony was a wedding, no matter how it looks.

Would a more unorthodox version feel out of place in the very “humanized” culture and surroundings the show has established? Yeah, kinda. But there could be a throwaway line from the priest explaining that he insists on doing things the old way, with the traditions demons once embraced before Hell was overrun with human souls and human practices (”This is how we did it back in my day, before the sinners came.” Then Chaz is like, “Ha! You said came!” or something). This could be a glimpse into a demonic subculture fighting to preserve their heritage, which future episodes could explore further. Think of all the subtext and story potential packed into a single sentence. But, y’know, creating a by-the-numbers world is just easier. So.

-  Remember how I said there was one thing holding Millie’s fight scene back from being great? It’s the camera. It zooms in too far and moves around way too much, to the point where it’s hard to see what’s going on at times. Ideally, the animation and frame composition should work in tandem, hitting all the snapshots of action they need to hit for visual clarity, and doing little else. A bit of camera shake here and there is fine, but there’s no need for all this wobbling back and forth. I shouldn’t need Dramamine just to watch a damn web series.

- At one point, Crimson says to his minions, “What the fuck! She’s a dame! She’s a broad! Kill her!”, implying that women should be easy to kill. I don’t know if Horvitz improvised those lines or what, but considering that Crimson’s gang has two female members (one of whom we even saw moving a body earlier), it feels like there’s a disconnect between the dialogue and the art department.

I dunno, man. If women aren’t that tough, maybe don’t use them as soldiers in your crime syndicate?? Inconsistencies aplenty in this episode, sheesh.

In conclusion, running the script by another set of eyes during the writing stage would benefit this show immensely. I know it seems like I had a lot of gripes with this one (what else is new, amirite), but honestly, this is one of the better Helluva Boss episodes. When the series ends (or when the writing gets so bad I can’t watch anymore), I might post my personal ranking of all the installments I’ve seen. For the first time in a long time, I’m actually curious to see what kind of story the next episode will tell. It’s almost like a series with an episodic plot structure can be interesting without the creator’s favorite ship hogging the focus. Funny how that works.

Later!

#helluva boss #hellvua critical #writing #critique #criticism #long post

[androdetective]

Basic notice: I'm aware the show isn't serious and is basically just jokes. It's just fun to psychoanalyze

Cindy as a character wasn't developed much past being Tulio's girlfriend (and/or ex 💀) Which is really unfortunate, as the show doesn't have as much developed female characters. This is really unfortunate as from what we've seen of her, she seems like an interesting character with more to bring. And even more unfortunate was that over time she was made into the "spiteful obsessive ex lover" character. From what we're aware of her, in the beginning of the second season she had a summer fling with Tulio. She took it very seriously and was head over heels. When Tulio was trying to host the news, he would be interrupted by many incoming letters for him. They were all sent from Cindy trying to get his attention. They got so invasive that he couldn't continue on with the news. Eventually she gets inside the studio and manages to talk to him. Tulio, embarrassed, by all the attention he's getting from Cindy and his friends cooing at him, tries to get her to leave and deny things that happened between them. He then says something rude to her that gets her to break up with him and leave. Tulio only did this to impress his friends, and has now realized his mistake and wants Cindy back. Later, Cindy does give him a chance to make it up to her. Initially, he fucks it up stupidly bad, but then wins her over. (Bc he remembered her cell phone number, which is insane)

The next big appearance she had was in episode 33. She arrived at the studio, saying she was upset at tulio for lying about the show being educative. Tulio again tries to win her back, this time by reenacting a play of Don Quixote. It went badly and Cindy left him. (I'm amazed by how bad Tulio is)

The last bigger appearance she had in the show was in season 4. She pretends to be a dangerous, escaped criminal who wants revenge on Tulio. She is aided by the help of the other studio members to teach Tulio a lesson. Tulio, the entire episode, is scared shitless. Until in the end, it's finally revealed to him it was actually Cindy. Cindy tells him the reason she did this was because he forgot her at a restaurant 6 YEARS AGO. and to make matters worse, a TV in the restaurant was playing a live interview Tulio was doing. In it, he said he "would never miss a chance to talk about himself" and "he had nothing important to do." After that, she reasonably held a grudge towards him. But to have such a strong grudge for six years seems depressingly desperate. She evem had pictures of Tulio she'd throw sharp objects at. Why did she hatch such a dramatic plan to get back with such a shitty guy. A guy that forgot about her for six years. We're aware that she loves people strongly, to the point of it being excessive. But to do that with such an awful partner is concerning. We don't know her background, but I do wonder if if she was given one, would it explain why she attached herself to someone so quickly? Does she not have other better people in her life? Why Tulio of all people?? At the end of it, Cindy just wants to be loved and have attention. She does it in unhealthy ways, though, and attached herself to an overall bad partner. Tulio is far from mentally healthy and has rocky relationships with everyone. He has a push and pull relationship with people in his life. This generally isn't Cindy's fault. If either were more functioning, they'd communicate their unhealthy habits and reach a mutual conclusion. But they're not that at all, so that's never gonna happen. Tulio ended up hurting Cindy, a lot. This isn't unusual with the closest people in his life, but this feels particularly egregious. I hope Cindy ends up leaving Tulio for good one day, manages to recover from him, and evolve mentally.

#31 minutos #cindy miraflores #tulio fumbling a bad bitch on live tv so fucking hard will never not be funny to me #i still want him gone though #cindy needs to move on from that stupid monkey and get with someone that treats her with respect #someone like amapo- *gets dragged away by demons *

[onthecourtbugs]

Nash and Jason dating someone who plays a sport? like volleyball maybe

Sporty Girlfriend

Pairing: Jason Silver x Reader/Nash Gold Jr x Reader

A/N: Thank you for requesting! 😚 I haven’t forgotten ya’ll, I promise! 

Summary: Jason and Nash with their sporty girlfriends.

Jason

Jason don’t know nothing bout no volleyball but watching you on that court? He bout to learn today.

You and your teammates got that aggressive play that keeps the other teams scrambling to keep up and it’s hilarious watching them struggle.

His favorite thing about the sport though, for real? It’s the uniform.

Ooh-WEE. Ain’t nothing quite like a baddie in sport shorts.

Not short shorts.

Sport shorts.

Them volleyball spanks got his boo looking RIGHT, m’kay? He be grabbing you up by your hips after every game cuz he has to.

“Were you paying attention this time?”

“Why you gotta grill me every time you come out? I was paying attention!”

“Alright,” you lean back and give him the squinty eyes, “what was the score then?”

“‘Nuff for you to win.” 😁

“You know what…” You sigh and shake your head. “Nevermind, let me down.”

“Nah, you good up here.”

I swear he was paying attention to the game play,it’s just… the booty was calling his name… 

Your teammates couldn’t stop staring at Jason when he first came around.

“Oh my gawd…”

“Right?! Y/n really hopped into Space Jam and stole one of the MonStars!”

They got used to him eventually, and sometimes you’ll hear him talking about you to them after games.

“It’s easy to tell when she be in the zone. Watch, she be like…” He over here bending down with his hands on his knees, back dipped down, his butt poking out, mimicking your voice. “Come on ya’ll, we need this next point!”

The girls laugh, but when they see you behind Jason, they look around, suddenly finding a lot of other things interesting.

-coughing- “Turn around genius.”

He does. “Hey! Heyyyyy, baby, you did so good this game!”

Your crossed arms and quirked eyebrow tell him he’s busted.

“You talking bout me?”

“I was just playing, you know, you got that lil thing you be doing-“

“I don’t bend like that!” 💀

“No, you don’t bend on me like that!” He shuts up when you throw your water bottle at him. Even so, he’s not taking your attitude seriously.

What you gonna do, beat him up for being honest? You do poke your butt out. Shoot, all the time he spend looking, he would know.

-----

Practicing when Jason is around is decidedly not the move.

He has so many times to do something with you while you’re free, but for some reason he likes to wait til he sees you about to warm up before you start training.

He’s coming and it’s not to save the day. 

“Uh-oh, what we doin’?”

You immediately straighten up from touching your toes. “Jason nooOooo, don’t come over here! Go find something to do!”

“I’m bout to, I’m bout to! Bend back over real quick~.” 😈

Like, where is this coming from, he couldn’t try to mess with you earlier? Now he’s distracting you and (sometimes) making you laugh and now half your session is the two of you messing around until you find a way to banish him.

That’s why you gotta train when he ain’t around, he play too much.

Very much the kind of guy who reminds you to have fun with what you’re doing. 

There will be no sticks up your butt with him.

Nash

Dang, is this your man or your personal trainer?

He stay with the regimens, and he is pushy about it. Healthy diet, regular check ups, steady exercising schedule.

“Dang, the only thing missing is vacation time!”

You laugh, but he actually has that on there too…

It’s annoying if you don’t like being told what to do, but you gotta admit it, it works. He carefully tailors everything to fit your habits, your limits, and your preferences, all that.

Watching you play is something else, especially when you’re in the zone.

What are you? Spiker? Libero? Middle Blocker? Never mind, it don’t even matter.

No matter where you are on that court, no matter what your role, every move you make is heated, animalistic instinct.

You and your teammates are often compared to sharks in the water, and when the ball is on your side, everyone can see why.

It’s that powerful, frenzied-yet-calculated kind of play that makes it so much fun to watch. He doesn’t get to do it as often as he’d like, being an athlete himself, but he makes the most of every chance he gets.

Unlike Jason, Nash will seriously work out with you and help you practice if you feel like you’re lacking in some way.

There are times when you feel pressured to train nonstop, but Nash ain’t bout to let you run yourself ragged for any reason. 

He wants you to be able to play without abandon, but sometimes you need a break.

-----

He goes a teensy bit overboard with the rest and recovery when it comes to injuries.

Don’t even attempt to do anything yourself before you’re done healing, Nash don’t play that. 

It’s bad enough you got hurt in the first place, now you’re about to make it worse moving around trying to lift stuff, get to the fridge, ect.?

Nah baby, that ain’t happening. You can argue your case all you want but at the end of the day, you’re the injured party and he’s bigger than you so he’s gonna get his way.

“If you need something just ask me!”

“Nash, don’t even start, I can do stuff independently at this point!”

“You can get some independent rest, go lay back down.”

And then you get carried back to the little Squishmallow nest he’s made for you, and you gotta stay there til the doctor says you’re good to go. Lowkey on some Yandere kidnapping mess.

Can’t leave the room unless he’s helping you, can’t pick your own food, can’t do nothing. 💀

“Nash move, this is overkill!” You try one more time to get him to chill the hell out.

He just leans over you and kisses your pout. “Next time you’ll play more carefully, won’t you doll~.”

Just this once, he will bring you junk food and not make a big deal out of it.

“Spoiled brat.” Shaking his head in feigned disappointment.

“But you did that, tho.”

“….Damn, I did.”

#courtsidewith #courtsidehcs #KNB #jason silver #jason silver x reader #knb jason #courtsidewithjs #courtsidewithng #knb nash #nash gold jr x reader #NASH GOLD JR.

[lumenflowered]

[A video is attached. Janine—a young woman with spiky purple hair and a long scarf on over what sure looks like ninja attire—appears to have just shut the door behind Maria into some sort of break room.

"So! Good to finally meet you, champ," Janine says cheerfully, practically bouncing on her feet as she makes for a comfy-looking couch and launches herself backwards into it, the camera following her there. "You beat Dad, so. I knew I probably wasn't winning, but damn if it wasn't fun to try!"

"I can see the resemblance," Maria comments, looking around the break room and eventually choosing to just remain standing, very awkwardly, near the door.

"Aw, really? That's really sweet, thank you. But anyway!" Janine beams at her. "What brings you here? Are you just the sort of overachiever who wants to get all sixteen of the viable badges, or... something else? My guess is something else. Though you do have overachiever energy."

Maria blinks, clearly confused. "Thank you? I... think?"

"Eh, it can be a compliment, could be not, I mean it as a compliment so you're welcome. Seriously, though, what are you doing here?" Janine pauses. The smile drops from her face. "It's Rocket, isn't it."

"As in the team? I... had intended to ask you that."

"Wait what."

"How much has Lance told you?"

"Pretty much just that he did get defeated but for personal reasons you're not taking over for him at the Indigo League quite yet. Also a quick physical description of you so we'd actually know when you turned up. Which... understated a few things, but never mind that." Janine sits up, arms crossed over her chest. "What's going on?"

"After being driven out of Johto, Team Rocket seems to have plans of some variety here in Kanto instead," Maria clarifies. "They seem far more afraid of me than they are of Lance—"

"Wait, were you the one who crashed Ho-oh into the Johto Radio Tower???"

"—and as such the plan is for the rest of the League to monitor Johto while I search them out and deal with them here in Kanto." Maria pauses, brow furrowing. "Also, no. Ho-oh crashed themself into the Johto Radio Tower; I was merely taking advantage of their offer of a way into the building."

"What the fuck, you're way too cool to be the new champ," Janine mutters. "Anyway. Uh. Got it! Fully understood. Honestly it wouldn't be the first time that Rocket has managed to listen in on League communications, so I get why Lance didn't want to say much, but also what do you want from me here?"

"I'd like to know," Maria says, "if you have seen anything particularly suspicious in or near Fuchsia City recently. Anything directly related to Rocket would be ideal, but anything... out of the ordinary would work."

"Hmm. Hmmmmm." Janine steeples her hands thoughtfully, shifting to an even more ridiculous sitting position on the couch if she does. "See, I can't think of anything off the top of my head, but I've seen Rocket's work before, and I've got a hunch about where they will be if they're anywhere near here. Give me a couple days, I'll let you know. Or I'll have one of the girls let you know."

"...One of your gym trainers is a boy?"

"Oh, Barry? Yeah, he's bigender. He delights in being one of the boys and one of the girls. Not the point though, I'll get on that after the gym closes tonight. In the meantime... stay close, give me a call if you find something first, and I hope you enjoy Fuchsia City!"

"Thank you," Maria says. "There is one other thing, more of a... personal matter."

"Oooooooh? Do tell?"

"I... believe there may have been a challenger here... close to a month ago?"

"Okay...? I'm gonna need something slightly more specific, I get a lot of challengers. It's mostly people who are here for the Safari Zone and figured they might as well try for a badge while they're in the area, but hey."

"Dee. The name she would be going by is likely Dee."

Janine's brow furrows. "About a month ago... yeah, I think I remember her. Actually, I thought she was you at first—Lance's original description of you wasn't as specific as it should've been, he didn't even mention that you're an edgelord."

"...A what."

"Uh, you like dark clothes and... don't worry about it, actually. What about her?"

"I..." Maria hesitates. "She... did Lance mention that I was a Faller?"

"Like Surge, yeah. But also it's pretty... you're not subtle. I like you a lot but you're not. What about it?"

"I believe that she may be too," Maria says. "That she may be from the same place I am, and... may even be someone I knew once."

"Oh shit? That's a good thing, right?"

"...I don't know."

"What, is she your ex or... yeesh. For real? That's rough." Janine pauses. "Also, you can totally sit down if you want. Like. There are plenty of seats."

There are, indeed, plenty of seats. Maria equally awkwardly takes one.

"Perhaps I am wrong," Maria says. "I hope that I am wrong. But any information on her that you are willing to share may help."

"Okay. Well. Um..." Janine's brow furrows. "Let me think on that one too, actually, it's been a long month."

The video ends.]

#ooc: have I mentioned that I adore janine #kanto rocket arc #rotomblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp #pokemon irl

[anonymous-astronaut]

Saw this post and got super inspired! Made me want to jot down my own ideas. Go read op’s version tho, it’s really fun

Mercs with a s/o that loves to play fight

Scout:

When it first comes up, he puts on this usual confident facade and says he’s totally down to wrestle, but he’s actually a little hesitant. He was the baby in his house as a kid and always lost to his brothers no matter what, so it’s a bit of a sore spot for him. Rough-housing used to be a little too rough for lil Scout. However, once he tries it with his s/o for the first time, he realizes its actually supposed to be fun when one person isn’t crazy overpowered. Then his playful nature takes hold and he just can’t get enough of it, he loves sneak attacks and random tussles.

Soldier:

He sees it as the perfect opportunity for some training, and fully believes it will have benefits for both of him and his partner. He will hold nothing back and isn’t afraid to fight rough, but won’t go as far as to actively try to hurt his s/o. That said, he is still very likely to do so accidentally, and it’s isn’t uncommon for both of them to come out injured but grinning. There is always a winner declared at the end of the fight, unlike some of the other mercs who just tussle for fun.

Pyro:

They love pretty much anything that can be described as a game, so as long as no one is taking it too seriously they are down for some horseplay. Honestly they like chasing games more than they like rough housing, but attack hugs and tackles are all welcome. Sometimes it’s more like aggressive cuddling than actual play fighting, but it’s still fun.

Heavy:

Heavy is very patient and has no problem letting his s/o to try and fight him. In fact, he is very amused by how hard they try to win and will happily sit to watch them struggle. Even if he’s busy it doesn’t bother him very much, he can be totally absorbed in a novel while his s/o tries and fails to put him in a headlock. If asked nicely, he will politely pretend to fight back, but in reality he just gently pins them down until they give up since they absolutely cannot win. He has full confidence that they aren’t capable of hurting him, and has full trust in his own precision so he know he won’t hurt them. It’s like a puppy chewing on the tail of a Great Dane.

Engie:

Engie is relatively sure he likes the idea in theory, but in practice he’s really awkward about it. He hasn’t play fought with anyone before, and he isn’t sure how to be fun or affectionate about it. He pretty much resorts to always letting his partner win with very little push back, because he really is afraid of hurting them. He does like hooking their head and ruffling up their hair though.

Demo:

Demo is probably the most fun to play fight with. He fucking loves horsin around, he is super affectionate about it but also has enough ambition to legitimately want to win. He doesn’t go easy on his s/o, but he has enough self control to keep from hurting them too. He’s a very tactile person and it makes him feel closer to them. It’s always fun, and they end up tussling a lot.

Medic:

Medic is very particular, so his s/o has to catch him in a silly mood. If he is being serious he shuts them down fast. But sometimes he is feeling cheery and goofy, and his s/o can manage to sneak up and nab him. He has a playful side and will chase them around gleefully until he inevitably catches up. It can be almost scary (in a fun way) because he is deceptively strong and can win very easily. He knows it too, which is why he usually turns them down. It doesn’t happen often, but he isn’t completely opposed to the idea of rough housing.

Sniper:

A little unexpectedly, Sniper loves rough housing, but only in private. As long as he is super comfortable with his s/o and knows it’s something they’d be okay with, he might even be the one to initiate it provided they’re alone. If they’re shorter than him, he loves scooping them up from behind and just tossing them around in general. A shorter s/o could also absolutely climb him like a beanpole. He’s got strong arms, but other than that he’s a bit of a stick so he’s definitely not impossible to beat, so the end result of the fight is anyones game. All in all, he has a lot of fun with it and makes sure neither of him nor his partner actually gets hurt. Around other people though, he gets super shy.

Spy:

If asked outright, Spy will refuse because it sounds childish, and also because he’s SUPER competitive and he doesn’t want to lose. If his partner does decide to tackle him, he knows he could escape with ease, but the problem is his escape maneuvers tend to be very…. deadly. So while he could, he isn’t willing to use those tactics, and his s/o beats him when it comes to brute strength because he has noodle arms. They can absolutely jump him and pin him down with little effort, and he acts all pouty and mean about it until his partner catches him hiding a smile. Once his secret is out, it’s possible to get a laugh out of him. As long as they go easy on him and don’t damage his suit, he will tolerate it and maybe even humor them for a little bit.

These are just my own interpretations, I legit love op’s headcannons so pls don’t see this as me trying to correct them or anything ❤️

#tf2 sniper #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #tf2 #tf2 headcanons

[the-white-soul]

We've got some good thoughts already, aside from Sans. The only thing he's eager about is quitting. You can't blame him with how hard this all is, but we have to win this case despite that!

Let's see... During the war, we couldn't even manage to take one life while countless monsters died. They were also allowed to make these murders since it's a given of war, but all this means is monsters haven't manage to kill anyone until Asgore's seven souls. Humans are much more bloodthirsty, and most monsters could hardly even hurt humans if they tried. At the point when souls were taken, we were forced to do so just to live free from a barrier which was put in place for no real reason in the first place. Monsters were innocent for the longest time and beaten down on by humans for that one instance with the curious child who absorbed the soul of their already dead friend. The kid didn't even try to harm anyone with it, like Alphys said.

I'd like to say I should go as a witness as well since I also know asgore well and grew up in politics so I know how things work, but then again I didn't perform well last speech and I might ruin this again in addition to sparking some negative reactions just by showing me face.

Speaking of, d'you think people are going to try to take me for murder? Or would the police not care since that human was obviously an idiot? At least I hope it was obvious.

(Kara) "Honestly, I have no idea. How hasn't he been arrested? I'm happy about it but confused." (John) "While you are probably a criminal, you are a criminal of war, so…" (Dess) "It doesn't matter. We have great security." (Kara) "People spraypainted your house." (Dess) "They were protecting you. They are everywhere." (Kara) "Spies cost money." (Dess) "You want to know how we can afford everything? There's one monster who's so popular even some humans give him plenty of money." (Mettaton) "It's me, darlings! You can see why, can't you? I'm so glamorous it connects the world because everyone agrees I'm hot." (Kara) "Whatever pays. Now, one last question." (Dess) "What is it?" (Kara) "What will we do with the Anons?" (Dess) "I was about to ask the same thing."

(Kara) "How many problems can we handle? I feel like I'm about to explode. You can change your voice, as well. Great, now you could all be psychos. 'Hey Kara, did you have enough stress today? No? Well, let's make it so you want to pull out your hair and punch yourself so hard you'll be unconscious. Won't that be great?'Looks around and sees the monsters hiding behind a chair. Sorry, something slipped out. Now, how did you get here? Cause when one person gets in…"

(Kara) "Wait, Chara did this again?" (Dess) "Um, Kara? I don't mean to alarm you too much, but we're not hiding because of you." Kara turns around and sees Chara pop out. (Chara) "Howdy!" (Kara) "Oh shit!" (Chara) "Don't worry, I'm not here because of blood lust. Well, not now. Tee hee. I'm here because I thought a flower would've been my mailman, but he seems too afraid. Don't worry. I'll tell them. Winks. You see, I think you should take this more seriously." (Kara) "Why?" (Chara) "Oh, let's just say monsters will be free one way or another, whether it's by death or love. Most likely both. I guess you've met some of the anons. I thought about giving you a little fun because we all know how boring court dramas can be." (Dess) "Don't you want monsters having less discrimination? How does bringing more hate solve anything?" (Chara) "Well, if you can't handle a simple creature like an anon, you should give up! I promise you I'll make it quick." No one spoke. The wind could've gone 1 MPH, and everyone would've heard it. (Chara) "Okay! If you want a ridiculous trial, then who am I to judge? Good luck! Try not to die to the anons!"

#undertale #the white soul #kara #flowey #ask flowey #airspeaker #sans #Let's just shoutout to whoever you anons are besides from airspeaker #Unless you're all him #Sorry #I couldn't answer the question about Clover. #It was about other people's comics and nothing is canon if it's for any other blog for mine. #If that's confusing assume everything not on my blog isn't cannon unless I say so.

[ayahachitwister]

On top of what I posted yesterday for Neshiki, another reason I love both them and Rindoka is that both couples have healthy teasing, yet it feels different for each of them.

Rindoka teasing is often Shoka being a brat who cares about her loser, but her love shines through. And Rindo can hold his own, too. For him, it depends on a lot of things—his mood, how off-guard she caught him, what the teasing’s about… but honestly, he can also catch her just as off-guard sometimes, especially when he lets some honesty shine through.

Both Rindo and Shoka can range anywhere from teasing to flustered when they decide to pick on each other, with Shoka more often getting the upper hand ‘cause she’ll go all in on the flirtiness, only to pull away and tease him when Rindo thinks he’s won.

Also, the Rindoka teasing may sound bantery like their arguments in the game, but now mixed with love to make it lighthearted and just be a playful way to show their feelings.

Meanwhile, the way Neshiki teases each other is more like they’ll pick something dumb to “argue” about. Are they seriously arguing? Nope, not one bit. Even when Shiki gets all huffy with Neku about his dumb takes on fashion or something, she knows deep down that it’s in good fun and wouldn’t change it for the world.

…even if yes, she would change his fashion takes.

But anyway, they also exchange the upper hand in it, but in a different way. Neku knows he can get Shiki worked up and in a mood where she’s being adorably stubborn… but also, that means he can’t win no matter what he says. If she calls him dorky, then no amount of his arguing otherwise will change her mind when she’s in that sort of mood. Their banter’s more obvious to outsiders that it’s all playful fun, ‘cause unless Shiki’s super huffy, they usually have smiles on their faces. But even when she’s huffy, she’s never actually mad.

And like Rindoka, a lot of it is dependent on the situation, the teases, their moods and what hits right… All of them are extremely dynamic with it, which is so much fun to write and RP 💕

And I also look forward to seeing more with how the BeatEri dynamic will progress there—‘cause Beat can tease people in a different way that feels more… well, almost like a little innocent play fight, where he’ll just tip their hat in their eyes (which I think he did do to Eri once long ago in our RP)… or just snatch it and let them try to get it back.

Meanwhile, the way Eri teases is very much with her words, like when she teases Beat about having an emo look or messing up phrases (which she thinks is adorable)… but because an unconscious part of her still remembers her argument with Shiki (plus her abandonment issues), that part right now does worry about screwing up, so she’ll always let him win in the end. That’s still something she needs to grow past so she can let go of her worries there, but… I feel like she still might let him win more often ‘cause she’s just so head over heels for him.

So yeah~ A little insight into why I like the teasing banter with my favorite TWEWY couples~

…Though actually, I could probably go into Hishiba for another type of teasing, but… well that’s just Hishima roasting Shiba over an open fire, really.

#twewy #the world ends with you #neshiki #rindoka #beateri #hishiba #nekushiki #neku sakuraba #shiki misaki #rindo kanade #shoka sakurane #eri twewy #daisukenojo bito #beat bito #aya’s shipping talks

[overtake]

how DID you become a max girlie ? ❤️

This accidentally turned very long-winded so it’s going under a read more. TLDR: I consumed all content of Daniel I could get my hands on, which naturally included a ton of Max, and he really struck me as just a weird little guy that I wanted to put in a glass jar and shake around. Related, this tiktok makes my heart burst with fondness and it explains a lot of the “I just want to perform science experiments on him and keep him fed and warm” attitude I have towards him.

It started with the on the sofa videos. He was so funny and lively, and I was extremely confused why everyone made him out to be this soulless robot. He’s clearly very passionate and serious about what matters to him (racing), but he’s just a completely normal, fun guy. Maybe his personality isn’t for everyone - he’s not going to fake nice and he doesn’t have the same universal charisma that someone like Daniel does, but he’s so funny and entertaining in a more subtle way. Daniel constantly talking about how Max is unintentionally funny is exactly it. Max is so himself, unshakeable and matter-of-fact with a little bit of goofiness and inappropriate jokes. Also, the way Max is so unimpressed by fame and celebrity is so refreshing. He doesn’t give a fuck about status, he cares if you’ll listen to his stories about his cats or play iracing with him or indulge his long-winded explanations about every nuance of the car. It’s nice to see how utterly unaffected he is by the fame.

I was already becoming turned around on him around winter-time with all this content, but I didn’t know how I’d feel about him going into a season. I started watching some old races, and he was so much fun to watch. Then I made the potentially poor choice to search “Max Verstappen” on tiktok and oooo boy. I came out of that three hours later in a fog of fondness and that weird kind of protective attraction that first strikes a lesbian’s heart when she’s about to add another little guy to her eclectic collection of celebrity men.

I’m not used to individual sports since I only watch team ones, but I became really obsessed with Max’s drive and determination to win without apology. It’s so much fun - I can’t believe people hate him for Brazil. That shit was both petty and deserved. He has his morals and beliefs and he will stand by them, and he’s not rolling over for his teammate who was happy to screw him over. I wasn’t a Max fan then, but I was so thrown off by the outrage and hatred for him. Even if we didn’t know it was about Monaco, Max takes racing so seriously. I know he wouldn’t fuck around in a race and have had these talks with the team beforehand if it wasn’t for a legitimately founded reason. I think people just want to think the worst of him at all costs.

Then I became extra endeared from his documentary. That man loves racing so much that he puts up with the utter bullshit he has to deal with every race weekend - he seemed so stressed by crowds, extra interviews, etc. He’s not here for that and doesn’t want to put on this show. He just wants to drive. And then at home and with his family, he was so soft and funny. There were so many fun little nuggets of information (Max having a Harley? Okay, slay). Of course, the cat bits were deeply important as well. It’s obvious how much his childhood affected him, even when he usually laughs off what his dad put him through or avoids discussing how he grew up largely without his mom and sister. I found him a really resilient person who became a talented driver and genuinely kind-hearted person in spite of Jos’ shit.

I love that he doesn’t put on an act with the media. I am so sick of the same platitudes, the recycled and sickly sweet and fake ways to talk around shit. I think f1 in general is way better for getting real, raw quotes (I cannot emphasize enough how fucking unbearably boring hockey pressers are. If you get a coach saying a ref did a bad job, he’s getting fined and the whole hockey world will debate it for three days). But Max in particular doesn’t hide his contempt for their bullshit and tells it how it is. It’s so funny to watch him put people in their place.

Also: cat dad. Cat dad. Cat dad!!! Very important quality to me. I know people joke about cat dads being a green flag, but they really are. Max is so sweet with his little demons. He’s also so soft and kind to children, always making time for them (which is bare minimum human decency obviously, but it’s very cute how good he is with them as well. He really engages with them and gets down to their level and understands their boundaries well - like with that girl at silverstone who was very obviously overwhelmed and shy, and he talked with her while very carefully keeping his distance to make sure she was comfortable and felt safe and had a good experience).

In sum: there was no one moment where a light bulb just went on, but he grew on me so much the more I learned about him. It’s so much fun being a Max fan (and I don’t just mean winning, though that’s very fun after being a long-suffering fan of a cruel flop hockey team). The community of Max fans is so much fun, just celebrating all his weirdness and bad habits, and genuinely loving and embracing him for all his track terrorism and obvious hatred of the f1 circus. I’ve never seen so many people talk about wanting to eat a man (his love handles and thighs are that good though, very true). Letting myself actually learn about him and love him instead of trying to conform to the peer f1blr pressure to hate on him once I realized there might be something more to him (even when half those people seem to secretly consume and enjoy content with him anyway while pretending they can’t stand any part of him) is the best thing I’ve ever done.

#um #this got very long-winded christ #i’m so sorry #long post #ask

[floofe-trans-doggie]

I think a lot of you need to hear this. It's never correct to be mean online.

Obviously there's a lot of people who are assholes just because they can get away with it online and who don't care if everyone immediately recognizes that they're being assholes because it just doesn't matter to them, but I'm referring to people who wait for someone to say something socially unacceptable or 'problematic' and immediately get really aggressive and rude with them because suddenly it's okay and they have the moral high ground. Sometimes the person they're being mean to is genuinely an awful bigot who no, you probably shouldn't feel sorry for, but a lot of the time it's a well-meaning person who just misspoke or doesn't know why something is wrong.

If someone just misspeaks or they don't know any better, being mean to them is going to make them resent anyone who holds your beliefs because they're just going to think about you being really dickish to them about a misunderstanding. That makes it very easy for right-wingers to recruit them. Politely explaining why they shouldn't say that or asking if that was what they meant is a much better option, and the block button is always there if you don't want to deal with them.

If someone is being a toxic asshole for the sake of being a toxic asshole, being mean back is just 'feeding the trolls' as they say. Block them and report them where possible/necessary. Engaging with them isn't going to help things.

If someone is a genuine bigot or says/does something really fucked up, being mean to them is only going to reaffirm their beliefs because look, the other side is being mean!

When you engage someone online, ask yourself what your goal is in this engagement. If your goal is just to win an argument for your own satisfaction or to get a bunch of attention for your roast, that's not a good place to engage. If your goal is to attempt to dispute them and try to change their mind (your mileage may vary regardless of your approach), then being mean is just going to make them resent you and not want to listen to you. If your goal is to warn people about them (such as in a callout post), doing so publicly may just give them more attention and a platform. If you really feel they're a danger to others and reporting them won't help, do so in a calm manner and avoid making jabs at them as well as explaining why you're making the post, because being mean in it makes it easier for them to claim they're being harassed (which frankly may not be entirely incorrect.)

That's not to say there isn't a time or a place for being aggressive or making fun of someone who's being a genuinely awful person. Hbomberguy's famous "Sell their homes to who, Ben, fucking Aquaman?" clip did a good job of pointing out a fatal flaw in Ben Shapiro's argument and made a lot of people stop taking him seriously, which is great. Punching Nazis tends to work, judging by the asshat who got punched in a viral video and lost much of his platform following. But chances are you aren't going to get that effect by making a mean-spirited tweet that just brings someone to more peoples' attention online.

I know this is a long ass post and a frankly rather toxic online culture has made talking about 'being mean' be viewed as 'cringey' or whatever negative word of the day 4chan has cooked up, but just think before you come after someone online. The block button is right there, and always works for keeping them back. When one guy is yelling at you, they're always quite blatantly the asshole. When two guys are yelling at each other, they both look like asses.

Thanks for reading all this, and I hope you have a nice day.

[navree]

Okay but also the most interesting topic about this love triangle-

Rhaenys is frivolously (said Visenya herself) and free-spirited. I picture her as a spoiled IT-girl who loves parties, pretty men, and doesn’t takes anything seriously, everything is a fun for her (GRRM please give her a personality). It might be really hard for her to be faithful to someone, so I guess Aegon and Visenya might be very bothered by it but couldn’t do anything about it as if not to lose her affection they allowed her to mess around. Does that makes her a horrible person?? I see people still slut-shaming her all around twitter

People slut-shaming in this fandom is just a thing that's going to happen no matter who the woman is, doesn't matter what side you're on if you enjoy a woman in ASOIAF someone's gonna call her a whore for no reason. With Rhaenys it's particularly infuriating for me at least just because she's one of my all-time favorite characters in this franchise and I do not do things by halves.

Personally, I don't really see Rhaenys that way. I'll readily admit to bias because again, she's my fave, but I think that just because Rhaenys liked doing things that enjoyed herself and was more lighthearted and personable than either of her siblings doesn't mean she can't take things seriously. She fought in the Conquest, she was the one in charge of capturing Storm's End and getting the Baratheon/Stormlands submission, which she succeeded in doing in, she participated in the Field of Fire, she was willing to be the person in charge of Dorne's submission if Dorne had been willing to submit (and I think there's a real intelligence behind her not attacking Dorne right away but instead giving them an opportunity to peaceably surrender without her risking her own life unnecessarily), and she went back to Dorne to fight them and finish the Conquest even when she'd have had a perfectly legitimate reason to stay behind now that she was a mother. She was just as much a true Targaryen as Visenya and Aegon, and just as vested in their burgeoning dynasty, which is why I don't really subscribe to the theory that Aenys isn't Aegon's kid (no hate on people who do subscribe to it, headcanon away, it's just not for me).

I also wanna note that the "frivolous" quote isn't just someone writing down that Visenya thought Rhaenys was a bit flighty and then left it at that. The specific quote reads “Queen Rhaenys was a great patron to the bards and singers of the Seven Kingdoms, showering gold and gifts on those who pleased her. Though Queen Visenya thought her sister frivolous, there was a wisdom in this that went beyond a simple love of music. For the singers of the realm, in their eagerness to win the favor of the queen, composed many a song in praise of House Targaryen and King Aegon, and then went forth and sang those songs in every keep and castle and village green from the Dornish Marches to the Wall.” Visenya is someone who appears to have preferred a simple "might as power" strategy when it came to it, while Rhaenys seems to have been slightly more well equipped to deal with certain aspects of administrative rule, and Visenya is acknowledging this. Rhaenys is essentially running an incredibly skilled propaganda campaign, getting as many people on board with her regime via the art they listen to propagating her version of events and propping her up in a way that's accessible to the masses. And Visenya is acknowledging the skill and the importance of that, even if it's not something that's in her wheelhouse herself or something she entirely gets, which goes back to my earlier point about how Visenya clearly didn't mind her sister's involvement in ruling and trusted her decisions in areas she wasn't as well versed in.

I also think that Rhaenys genuinely loved her siblings, and at the very least loved Aegon romantically enough to stay faithful (the rumors about her infidelity are incredibly sparse and basically just boil down to some sources going "hey what if" and leaving it at that). But there's a way to play on some of that and make it angsty for the siblings, or at least Visenya. If Visenya's affection for Rhaenys is more one sided, and at one point just becomes Visenya kinda pining, then you can have a moment where she sees Rhaenys surrounding herself with these pretty young things and she assumes (incorrectly) that Rhaenys might be having affairs. And she goes to Aegon about it, more angry than she should be, clearly more angry than just on her brother's behalf, and Aegon doesn't really do anything. Maybe he also thinks Rhaenys is having affairs but loves her enough to let it slide; maybe because they're closer he knows that Rhaenys isn't doing anything and trusts her in a way that kinda leaves Visenya as the odd one out. But either way, he tells Visenya not to bother him about this and that he doesn't care, she lets it slide in the moment because even in her own jealousies she still loves Rhaenys and ultimately wants her to be happy more than she cares for Aegon's feelings or even her own in that respect. And then you've got groundwork for their later rift. Visenya can take that to mean that Aegon doesn't care about Rhaenys like she does, because if he really loved her he wouldn't be able to stand that kind of betrayal, and Aegon, after Rhaenys dies, can think back on this moment with a warped lens and accuse Visenya of always wanting to dishonor Rhaenys and sully her reputation for her own selfish gains.

Like, no knock on your interpretation, everything about this is open to interpretation and any inter-Targaryen love triangles are going to be quite open to all kinds of theorizing (though I'm at least glad most of my people have hopped on board the "Aegon and Visenya were both in love with Rhaenys and semi-competing for her rather than Rhaenys and Visenya competing for Aegon" train, I'll pioneer this until I die), but I think trying to flip things on their head and giving Rhaenys a bit more credit than fandom tends to give her because they don't get the concept of administration and soft power is more interesting to me than just kinda going with the flow of what the general conventional wisdom is. And with a source like F&B where everything is so open to interpretation, you're almost encouraged to do it, and I will follow that encouragement.

#personal #answered #anonymous #rhaenys targaryen #rhaenys the conqueror #as an augustus enjoyer you cannot be surprised that i can appreciate rhaenys's propaganda skill #like yeah she's not going around fucking shit up with a sword but she's getting shit done nonetheless #and still has her own dragon #i love her so so much