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#seriously you have the power to create anything you want
inkskinned · 8 months
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no, actually, where is the whimsy?
my ex had a best friend named larry who asked me once: what do you think comes after irony?
we were at the bar where larry worked. it was a quiet night, and he'd hopped over to sit with us on the patron side. i swirled the lemon around my limoncello martini.
earnest positivity, i said, while my ex said, art self-destructs.
i stared at my ex. he stared at me.
his argument was the cinemasins argument: look how bad media is becoming! look at the loopholes and the dumb shit!
it was roughly 2011. galaxy print was still in. at the time, i had a favorite shirt that was a wolf howling at the moon. it got ripped in half in the wash and i honestly still mourn it. i dressed like effie stonem, because everyone did. and irony was the name of the thing. men liked MLP "ironically." the internet liked the kind of crass, "anti-mainstream" vibes of things like fuck romance, touch my butt and buy me pizza. we put cats in sunglasses everywhere, which was because we only liked things in irony.
and media had the same vibe in it: anti-hero white men would be "hard to love" and then storm off the scene. nobody was just earnestly trying to save the world: they were jaded, angry, unoriginal. mad you even asked them to try to help.
my ex ends up not being wrong. cinemasins becomes super popular. a lot of people start viewing media with this lens that is the cruelest, most jaded depiction. it's wrong for your character to have unexplained powers, even if the entire movie is about how strange it is she has unexplained powers - that is still considered a "loophole." characters make thoughtless, panicked choices? loophole. characters are actually kind people, despite hardship? loophole. features a woman doing literally anything without assistance? loophole. movies become hyper-aware of scrutiny, and now irony rules the media.
which means you go to a movie, and the character has to turn to the screen and say "beats me!!" or one of the side characters has to have some kind of quip like "are you seriously telling me that you think this is normal?" because nothing can happen in earnest. like a sitcom laugh track, we now anticipate the fourth-wall break: the moment that the media acknowledges it is telling a story. the media has to apologize for itself, or else someone like my ex rolls their eyes.
but here's the thing: i wasn't wrong either.
the difference might be that i am (and always have been) so soft-hearted that any crack in the light of this world will spear me into the ground. and i was the poet in the relationship. (he thought that was the same thing as being naïve and stupid). i was making things daily. i knew how all of us artists are driven by some strange desire to evolve. he notably liked to critique art, not to create it.
so yes, i've made things that are bitter and angry and even ironic. i've made long, sharp poems with all capital letters, and i've made poems about how the silence stretches out like a song. someone wrote once that we will spend our whole lives just circling the place we grew up. i think it's more that we spend our whole lives trying to remake a home. i think it's that as we age, it becomes less exciting to build the castle on the beach - we become aware of erosion, of windforce. we realize what we really want is to come home to our dog, castle or not.
and while art in the foreground is mired in white male violence and irony, and aggression, and not taking anything seriously - i don't think that's true of all art. i think more and more artists are leaning in to the things we love. the world has changed so much. they have taken so many things from us. the only thing we have left is love. at the bottom of the moving box - all we get is the faint sense that we have to appreciate what little we've got. i can't enjoy this stuff ironically anymore: what room do i have for irony? if it makes me happy, that is an amazing thing. there are so few happy places left for me. i want to be happy because of how leaves shiver beside each other like nestling birds. i want to be happy because of the color pink, and how magenta doesn't exist. i have spent so much of this life suffering, i have earned my right to a gentle ending. if nothing matters, i get to assign meaning to the nothing. i get to create meaning. i am an artist first and foremost, which means creation is my thing.
where is the whimsy? wherever i fucking put it. because if this is my last fucking chance to do any good in this world - i want to do it earnestly. i want to write things that make you happy. that make people feel heard and seen. what comes after irony has to be positivity.
it was close to my 21st birthday. in 7 years, i would end up writing a book about this relationship, which is hopefully coming out somewhere around May 2024. i come back to this bar scene in my memories a lot. i keep thinking of how pale my ex was. the look that crossed his face. how i looked back at him. how for a moment, both of us couldn't recognize the other person. like the gulf between us was a suddenly wide and cavernous thing. like we were alien to each other. he never took my opinion seriously, and he always seemed surprised whenever his manic-pixie-dream-girl ever broke free of the plot. like in the whole time we were together, i wasn't human enough.
this knowledge: where he said nothing comes after, my only instinct was what comes after is love.
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pixiesndberries · 3 months
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𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃, 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 —
a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !
☆ OUR STARS : Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !
━ REQUESTED BY : none
━⁠ WARNINGS : none
ෆ PIXIE'S NOTE ! : were back again at daily posting 🙏🏻 to my pookies who supported me, y'all made me giggle and kickin' my feet in my bed last night 👉🏻👈🏻 love lots!
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GOJO SATORU, as your husband !
• Gojo being your husband is no different from being your boyfriend — he still gotta be that same person you dated few years ago, though he became more serious about situations and decisions because you guys are married but his goofy, annoying, clingy side is still there — I mean when he met you and been with you for like two weeks your caller name is already set as 'wifey'.
Gojo who totally acts like a mom when you leave for work, he is like a freaking HOUSEWIFE —
"honey!" he sings as he walks into the living room seeing you brush your hair Infront of the mirror, getting ready for work. "hmm?" you responded and quickly turns your head at him — he's wearing a this is what an awesome husband looks like apron which made you too stunned to speak, "I created a bento for you." he smiles as he hands out a nicely wrapped bento box which was really new to you because it's always you who keep creating bentos for him, usually when he leaves for a mission.
"thank you, honey." you say softly with a warm smile as you accept his bento that he specially created for you, he can't help but to feel like a love sick teenager seeing you smile like that. He officially takes the position of being a housewife 🫡
Gojo who couldn't stop talking about the future he wants with you like nonstop — this man would talk about having three million carbon copy of him with you and would name them after megumi, yuji, nanami and basically all of his friends, students, and dead relatives 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 — I FEEL LIKE HE GOTTA BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.
Gojo always flexes you everyday and YOU are his hyper fixation — argue with the wall, he gotta be the type of man to say "she's my wife." randomly when he's talking to an old friend he haven't seen for a long time. HE WILL BE THE HUSBAND WHO YOU WILL SEE WEARING "I LOVE MY WIFE" TYPE OF SHIRT WITH THE UGLIEST FONT AND PHOTO TEMPLATE EVER. Once a person mentions your name he ain't gonna shut the fuck up.
I just know this marriage go'n be like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's relationship 🙏🏻 ABSOLUTELY RANDOM TEXTS FROM HIM, UPDATING YOU TOO MUCH.
2:32 pm
gojo : shitting at the mall cuz i don't have anywhere to shit on.
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : i miss you my wife, my beautiful wife.
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : [sent an attachment]
gojo : your very handsome husband ❤️
2:40 pm
you : stop spamming me messages love, im at work 🙏🏻
gojo : why? is it turning you on 😏
you : that's a photo of your feet.
Gojo who became a seriously hands on person when you told him that you're pregnant — when he has missions with yuji, megumi, or maybe nobara and you told him that you're very tired to do anything today he will be like,"okay kids, I got to go I have important things to do." and dashed away before they could say something and mf arrived at yalls house within a second.
Gojo who cried when he carry his baby for the first time, he was sobbing like hell — girl dad? boy dad? BRO HE IS BOTH ‼️ "okay we'll name this one suguru and this one-" he is going to come up with the most ridiculous names, probably the worst one was his dead ancestor.
okay seriously, Gojo would be a full time dad after his children were born — he will always stay at home as much as he can, having twins isn't easy plus he's trying to help you with his full power and make sure you don't feel alone through this.
"gojo.." you grumble as you felt his presence disappearing next to you at bed, you open your eyes and sees he wasn't there which led you to stand up and start looking for him — you walk out of the bedroom and noticed that the twin's bedroom door was open so you check it out.
in your suprise, gojo was in the rocking chair with the twin's in his arms peacefully sleeping and he is snoring like hell. You can't help but smile seeing this moment, it warms you heart. You quickly grabbed your phone and took a quick photo, this is what you exactly wished for.
Gojo who couldn't stop posting you and his little angels and his fans are absolutely living for it, it's like his day wouldn't complete without posting cute photos of his angels and of course, you as well. Gojo is indeed a Facebook mom —
; gojosatoru
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tagged : @y/n.instagram | fam time 🤍 !
liked by megumi.22 and 8,957 others
itaaa.yuji | I volunteer as a tribute to babysit them 🫡
nobaraaa | CUTIES.
shokoleiri.7 | adorbs
─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!
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mellowwillowy · 5 months
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Yan! Lawyer Husband x GN Spouse Reader HCs
CW: mafia related stuffs
—𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒐𝒃𝒆𝒓 - 𝑳𝑰𝒇𝑬 𝑷𝒓𝒐𝒋𝒆𝒄𝒕 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕
Yan! Husband is a gentle soul to you, he can't and will never lay a finger with the meaning to hurt you! He just doesn't have the strength to do so, almost as though he was set to be so. It's another whole story when it comes to the others though, can you guess how many times he has pulled the trigger of a gun?
Yan! Husband who spoils you rotten with everything you could ever think of. Luxuries, reputations but never the forbodden knowledge he has tried so hard to keep away from you. No, he won't clip your wings. You are his songbird who gets to only fly inside the gilded cage but never in the outside world. He will create a stage of the outside world for you, but never the real deal.
Yan! Husband who paints a portrait of you whenever he's stressed over the cases he has to handle. To move the brush without any problem as your form starts to appear on the blank canvas, he has no trouble remembering you. Sculpting is no problem for him as well. He has spent all his lives honing his artistic skill just to eternalize you as pieces of art.
Yan! Husband loves you so much that he deems children as a burden and bothersome (adoptive too). He only needs you to build a family, he had no need for children to continue this lineage. His whole life revolves around you. If you pass away, he too, will pass away shortly after. That's how much he loves you to the point that death cannot separate you two.
Yan! Husband who might not look like he's able to do it but he is actually an S-rank gaslighter. He will trick you into believing that what he is suggesting is only to keep you safe! He doesn't really enjoy taking your autonomy directly unless it's needed (of course, in a way where you will not confront him about it).
Yan! Husband who will cover and remove all your bad track records (if you have any). He has the power and connection to erase any kind of dirt that is on you, you are his pristine pure lily-of-the-valley and you should not be defiled with those records. Live without any worry clouded in your mind dear, the laws will never tarnish your reputation when you have this lawyer backing you ^^
Yan! Husband who adores any sort of physical touch when it comes to you, yes, anything. Even if you hit him silly, he'd still love every moment your skin feels his. He loves hugging you the most, his face buried into the crook of your neck while taking a scent of you.
Yan! Husband who enjoys humming lullaby of yours to the point everyone's ears around him is bleeding from the repeating lullaby. Can this guy please hum something else for once?
Yan! Husband who will read for you whenever he has the time to sleep with you. He doesn't know what to say to you as his work is either foreign to your brain or a tad too shady. Childhood memories are not great too as he has long forgotten about everything the moment he pledges eternal vow to love you. He abandoned everything and lives only for you.
Yan! Husband who prioritizes you as his number one, even above his own well-being and career. He can still live even if he falls ill, his career would never fall out of track as he has the mafia under his grasp, but you can slip out of his grasp. And he doesn't want that to happen again.
Yan! Husband is without a doubt an infamous lawyer. Especially with how many times he has let the ringleader of that renowned mafia group slip out from the prosecutor and judge's grip? If you seriously think you'll be pronounced guilty of that murder, you better throw that thought out just like how he throws all the scapegoats and falsified evidence into the court. (Should I write a fic for this?)
Yan! Husband who will always make time for the two of you. While vacations are not as often as he wishes he could have, cuddles and tea parties sound nice enough for him to kill time with you.
Yan! Husband who has this cute journal that's filled with what you have been doing every day instead of his own daily stuff. Oh, your diary is almost his if you know how he reads it daily like a refreshment.
Yan! Husband who as much as he hates having to show you to the people at the official parties and events he has to attend, he just can't shake away the butterflies in his stomach as well! You are not just some trophy spouse, you are his beloved! A hand on your waist and a face that is seen whispering sweet nothings into your ear with a glass in his other hand. Oh, he looks so o-godly-handsome like a man who comes out from a romance novel!
Yan! Husband who is a man of greed, the embodiment of Mammon. Wealth is not something that he has never not possessed. So whatever the fuck you do, gambling or blowing it off somewhere in a dumb investment or stock, he won't make a fuss out of it. Instead, he'll teach you more about money management instead :/
"Do you want to learn how to invest? I know a way or two from my predecessor."
He will let you play all the money game you want and gives you the illusion of success despite all the trials and errors you made (he's the one who clean up all the mess lol)
I know that this is AFAB! oriented BUT Yan! Husband never wishes to impregnate you even once. No, he doesn't like the idea of you being in pain over a damn baby(ies) that could just take your life as well. He does enjoy fucking you without any protection on but that is after he tracks your safe day (man is literally fighting the fate of having you pregnant). He prefers you to not consume any birth control for just in case it causes harm rather than good to you. (Shots are a pass if you are scared of syringes)
He is A-OK with adopting if you are persistent enough about this matter and is B-OK if you want to get pregnant (AFAB). He just can't refuse and upset you...
So please don't imagine what would happen if darling dies during delivery :)
Yan! Husband who will always open his pocketwatch and kiss the picture of you in his pocket watch. How many times and lives had passed just for him to enjoy the solace of being your husband?
𝐀 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐝𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐬, 𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫.
Yulian de Alpheus is a man of ambition. While he does share the same look as his 'father', the ambition he has is the complete opposite of Castiel. Castiel created him to seek the truth of life, Adam existed to be the Genesis of Life, Alan existed to be someone he didn't recognize and Yulian existed to live beneath the shadow of his spouse.
𝐘𝐮𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐡𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐢𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮. 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
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ash-says · 28 days
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Survival 101 :
Buckle up your seatbelt darling because this is going to be triggering and one hell of a ride. Don't expect mushy from me. Might do it when tapped in my soft girl era but today I feel like a Villain.
1) Keep your mouth shut where you don't hold the power. No power no expressed opinions that can put you in trouble.
2) Learn manipulation and seduction skills. This will help you to detect when someone is trying to manipulate and seduce you. Saves a lot of drama and heartache.
3) Fight back strategically. We don't want to lose a job, a degree certificate, a bruise on your body,etc depending on your situation.
4) Facts over emotions. Always.
5) 90% of older men are creepy. Speaking from experience here. Play with them by ear. Get what you want by being polite and respectful but if they try to harass you or take advantage we turn Medusa on them or if you are not in a position to fight and walk out safe just play cutesy and shy and dumb. Ask him what he means and do not take a word said by him seriously. Dodge his advances like your life depends on it until you get an opening to run for the hills.
6) Snap out of delusions and pay attention to reality. People are not what you make them out to be they are what they show you. Stop making excuses for them.
7) Anxiety can be crippling. Panic attacks are the worst but no matter what happens try your level best to never show them publicly. Men are vultures and vulnerable women are easy prey for men.
8) That one friend who is all sweet to you and is your bff but anything positive happens in your life and suddenly starts becoming passive aggressive. Not your friend. Don't share any secrets. Best to be kept as an acquaintance.
9) Develop sarcasm and don't be afraid to put self entitled bitches and bastards in their place. Better being called a 'Mean Girl' over a 'Doormat'.
10) Bully back the bullies. It's 2024 sweetie we don't wait for an opportunity for revenge we fucking create it.
11) No matter how tough your life is going everyone shouldn't be getting a broadcast about it. At least not by your own mouth. Try to act as put together as you can.
12) Kindness is virtue but being apathetic saves you. Don't be the fool who bleeds through the stabs of the same knives again and again. "Because I can't see them in pain. I have a heart." Babygirl you have a life too. All that emotional stress is going to result in some serious problems in the upcoming years.
13) Learn when to quit. The most emotionally intelligent people I know are great quitters. They know when it's the end of an era.
14) Never disclose your family issues to outsiders. Until and unless a person has proved their loyalty to you year after year only those selected one or two people should know your domestic issues. Anyone else knowing it is like having a good gossip for tea time.
15) Lastly, there are no fucking saviours in real life. You are your own saviour.
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circeyoru · 23 days
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Unwanted Soul _ Part 4 = Requested
[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader]
The Request (1) + (2)
@hoshinosama Maybe p4 is about Alastor learning about reader past? 🥺
Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 2.5 (ask) — Part 3 — Part 4 (here) — Part 5 *I suggest you read Part 2.5 if you didn't, it'll help
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When you found out all those years ago, back when you first manifested in Hell that you were still somehow alive, you seeked out so many ways to off yourself again. You didn’t kill yourself to live in torture again. Especially when there was no right entertainment for you
Unforturnately, you did find out that you missed the annual exterminations that was a one way ticket to death. You missed it! Then you went to the next big thing. You seeked out the King of Hell, your next way to true death
You caught Lucifer at an awkward timing. His daughter that he so loved was doing something impossible, as he claims and his wife was more and more distant for some reason he can’t point. Well, you’re not interested in any way so you kindly asked if he could kill you
That dead look in your eyes shocked Lucifer really. You were like a soulless being, a puppet? A doll? There was no spark in you, no wants apart from your wish to death. Lucifer took pity on you and took you in, offering you a job of being an information collector of sorts. His little informant
You only agreed because he said you had powers in Hell and tempted you to delay your death till the next extermination to see if you still want the same. A little below a year to see if you liked your demon life or self. You discovered quite the unique power you have and honed it to perfection, testing it and perfecting it
All the while, you made friends with Lucifer who was a bit too obsessed with making ducks. He gave you your own collection of ducks. During which you created a case just to put those ducks on display, uplifting his spirits
Now Lucifer notices that you never smiled nor show prolonged excitement for anything. You were fascinated with your powers and abilities, but you were hardly happy. So he tried something. He brought you back to Earth for a visit and for you to get whatever you wished 
Never has he seen you that happy and grateful like you were another person. You dragged him all over the place, actually requesting things and wanting stuff done. Lucifer happily fulfilled it all. It was the least he could do when you gave him company when his family was distant from him
Even better was when you gave up on your (second) death and was more energetic. To seems to Lucifer that bringing you to Earth was the right call, so he gave you exclusive access to the living world on the condition that you would never cause harm to the mortals and bring other demons along with you. Namely abuse it, you easily agreed with no issue
Throughout your years of serving Lucifer, you never actually caught wind of Charlie because you didn’t want Lucifer getting depressed even more due to the distance and you never actively searched for Lilith because Lucifer’s response to your offer nearly made your sda self cry for him
You kept a strict business relationship with Lucifer to ensure that all the gathered information was to his benefit and liking, you later allowed a friendship with him because he helped you see light in this hellhole. If you had taken your life, you wouldn’t be enjoying your afterlife or meet him
“Are you really seriously happy with that thing?” Lucifer asked as his face twisted to one of disgust and maybe anger when his eyes darted over to the demon humming a joyful tune while baking with a ridiculous apron You hummed, looking up from your tablet and pausing your search, “If you’re referring to Alastor, then yes, I am.” Lucifer let out a childish groan, plopping his chin in his palm, “Why is it that tacky piece of—” He cut himself off when he heard your giggle. At time he thought you were giggling at his name-calling, but you were looking at Alastor with a soft gaze before you caught yourself and turned back to Lucifer. He smiled along, “Maybe he’s not too bad if he can make you smile like that.” “Like what?” You tilted your head, not following. You blinked twice when Lucifer suddenly lean extremely close to you with a smirk, you raised a brow, “What are you doing? “Oh, darling!” Alastor sang, immediately came over and swatted Lucifer away from you like a bug. Before you could make a comment, he showcased a tray of freshly fried donuts. “I glazed it with some sugar. I can make more flavours, if you so desire, My Dear.” You picked up one and tried it, “Taste great, Alastor.”
Even though Lucifer is happy for your own happiness, he can’t help but want to rile up Alastor just to show that Radio Demon you had a close friendship with The King of Hell. When you were still in slumber mode, he warned Alastor thoroughly that if you were to cry under any circumstances, Alastor’s gonna answer to him
You found it odd how you were somewhat surrounded by people now. Just a year ago, you were trying to get Alastor out of your home and living your dream life. But now, you were in a hotel of all places. You wonder what your life came to really
Your eyes landing on Alastor, you can’t help but smile fondly. Your biggest change was letting someone else into your life and you like it. You can’t deny that Alastor was on the extreme side, but it was all his way of showing affection, so you can’t deny that any longer. They say time will time, and they proved Alastor was a devotee to your affection 
It was a mystery why you accepted the gang’s invitation to drink when you were heading to the kitchen for some food, since Alastor was out to visit Rosie. It left you drank and a talker, you were more energetic and carefree than usual, a completely different side. When Alastor came back, everyone was quick to scatter, not wanting to explain themselves to the Radio Demon for your state
“Alastor! Welcome back!” You waved, hopping off the high chair while holding onto your wine glass, wobbly but careful not to spill. “You’re very late today.” “Apologises, My Dear, Rosie was introducing me to some new shops for your steak.” Alastor took the wine glass away and threw it into the bar where Husk was hiding under, he held onto your hand to balance you, “What have you been doing, Darling?” “Oh, nothing. Charlie and the others invited me to drink, Husk made me this bubbly drink that’s a bit… bubbly!” You giggled, planting your face into Alastor’s front, hugging him as you snizzle at him. “Very bubbly.” Alastor looked up to glare at the bar, though void of the culprits that put you in such a state. You avoided alcohol for a reason. He picked you up, holding you like a princess. “Well, My Dearest, time to head back to your room then.”
This state of yours was a wild card to Alastor. Sometimes, you were highly aware of your surroundings and played flirty, sometimes you were sleepy, sometimes you were talkative, sometimes you were cruel. It was like different sides of you were fighting for dominance
He have only seen you sleepy once when he added alcohol into the meal for taste, you fell asleep before you finished your food. The next day he inquired and you told him your drunken states, strictly telling him to not let you drink alcohol or put them in your drink or food. So he was puzzled how Charlie and the others got you to drink
Boredom got you to do a lot of things. Try out new hobbies only to revert back to your old ones in a matter of days. An intensive obsession that doesn’t last long, a frequent phenomenon with you. That’s why you were adamant about him leaving you, you think Alastor will get bored of you and leave out of the blue when you had no time to prepare
Alastor was well aware, though he had no idea where this rooted from, he proved you wrong by staying with you all these years without fail. He’ll continue to do so too
“Ask me something. I’ll answer.” You shifted to sleep on your side, eying Alastor who was cleaning up the mess you’ve been. “Anything.” “Dear, you’ll regret this. I won’t take advantage of your drunk state.” You pouted, “I won’t regret it. We’ve been close. I don’t mind letting you know things, I’ll not answer if I don’t feel comfortable, okay?” Alastor hummed, snapping his fingers to change your clothes to something more comfortable for sleep, then he took of his coat to place it on an armchair. He sat down on the bedside, “Are you sure, Dear? I will ask anything.” “Yeah.” You hugged onto a soft toy nearby “Why did you kill yourself?” “...My life wasn’t worth living.” You muttered, your eyes downcasted. It was a lucky thing that Alastor’s back was to you. “I didn’t see a meaning in my life, every day it was like I was torturing myself.” “Why are you hesitant about accepting connection, affection and love?” You chuckled drily, “That’s so direct, Alastor.” You hummed and closed your eyes, recalling memories of the past when you were alive. “I loved connection, I loved affection too. I never understood love. I had so many friends when I was younger, like a kid, but I realized they weren’t friends and it was a form of bully. I thought my family cared about me but when I wasn’t useful, they pushed me aside.” Alastor moved his hand to you, wiping away a tear that escaped your closed eyelids. “I’m sorry to hear that, you don’t deserve that.” Despite his gentleness to you, he was seething with rage. “No wonder you were pushing me away, Darling.” “I thought I had the love of my life though. He confessed first, I ignored it then accepted it. Then he and I broke off. Afterwards, we’re back together again. He called me clingy, annoying, he regretted giving me his love. So I broke it off. Then he came back to me, saying he was wrong. I was desperate. I accepted, thinking it was the last. I shouldn’t have accepted.” You took a deep breath, your eyes opened, glassy and dull “He’s not worth your time and energy, Doe.” Alastor sat properly, letting you lie in his lap while he played with you hair. “Forget him.” He almost growled, he controlled himself so his claws wouldn’t sharpen. “Forget all about him.” You closed your eyes once more, leaning into his touch. “I killed myself in my sleep. I wanted to sleep forever and ignore all the suffering around me. I don’t want to hear their laughter, I don’t want to see their smiles, I don’t want to sing them praise and congratulations. I don’t want to know about their achievements while I was… I don’t want it…” “Shhhhh… Darling, it’s alright.” Alastor looked down at you, bringing your fluffy blanket up to you. “You don’t need to care about them, you have me with you now. Whatever you desire is yours.”
The promises and whispers of giving you the world, in exchange for your presence in his life. You believed you took Alastor for granted. You were indifference to his affection and care in the beginning, when he showed you such extreme to protect and defend you (even when it’s not needed), you were scared that he saw you as the next entertainment
So you kept pushing him away. Showing him to the door when he was all healed up. You knew it only took that long because he was worsening his wounds to stay longer. It was a cliche tactic and you saw through it. When that didn’t work, he said he had to stay to replay you for your kindness. A rarity in Hell, which you agree. But you told him, “It was only to amuse myself.”
Alastor merely laughed and commended on your honestly. Freshing, as he claimed. Everything you did to get him away from you, it only drew him closer and closer to you. To the point where you have to take a break from it all, to clear your head and think. The hotel, it was perfect, so you sent him there. Maybe he’d find better entertainment there
But then he gave you reports daily, an excuse to hear your voice and feel your presence through the radio. He spotted a loophole. You found yourself looking forward to his reports. Even letting him visit once for a ‘job well done’ reward. He delayed his return to the hotel and you didn’t complain
You told yourself not to fall for him. Don’t let history repeat itself. Save yourself the heartache. This was Hell, no way would someone like Alastor devote to you just because he loves you. No way. Don’t hope. Don’t expect. If you do, you’re putting yourself up for a nasty fall
When you heard that Alastor’s old friend Mimzy came over, completely ignoring the way he treated a soul he owned that went by the name Husk. The next day, you found yourself on the streets searching for this Mimzy character. She didn’t have a good reputation, but who does in Hell. You felt your anger raising when she spoke of Alastor’s name left and right to take whatever she wanted
Before you knew it, you had fired a shot at her. You left before she found you. You left yourself slip. Why now? Why? What made Alastor different? Lucifer saved you from a quick suicide after your arrival to Hell, you didn’t feel the same with him as you did with Alastor. Why? WHY?
You thought you had a piece of mind when Alastor told you the exterminations were targeting the hotel first. This will end your mistake. This will save you the fall. You gave Alastor your order, “Protect the hotel and the Princess must be aided to the best of your abilities.”
To see things end, you stood a safe distance away from the battle. Your eyes on Alastor who took up the role of battling against Adam. You should have smiled that Alastor’s chances of winning was slim, but you found your heartbeat quicken as anxiety rose
The back of your mind shouted at you. Alastor will die. Adam’s an angel. He has angelic powers. Save him. Can’t let him die. One strike from Adam and Alastor’s history. You’ll be free. Wait. No!
Your hands moved as you brought out a spare blank book, you opened it and the winds picked up around you. The pages all came out, flying around you. You teleported between your enemy and your (potential lover) friend
The moment you activated your teleportation, you made your peace, you love having Alastor around you. You love his presence. You love him
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Note: I ended up writing too much again. And what's with all those asks suddenly??? So shocked to get that. What ever started them???
Circe Y.
Other Works: MASTERLIST
Taglist:
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@crowleysthings
@donustellaron
@nevermore-ramblings 
@justboredforreal 
@youroneandonlysimp 
@falsemain
@scenteddelusion5
@anni1600
@readergirlstuff
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esouliie · 2 months
Text
– TEARS ON THE GRAND PIANO
– pairing: wanda maximoff x fem!reader (MINI SERIES)
– synopsis: moving on from the only person you’ve ever loved is proving to be hard… so hard that hiring an escort seems to be the only way forward.
– warnings: poor dialogue lmao but my excuse is that it was written a while ago, offensive language, word count: 3K
– Prologue | Chapter 1
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13TH NOVEMBER 2022
You were pretty sure your face was melting off with the way your cheeks burned against your hands. Your jaw ached tremendously from clenching, each muscle protesting against the pressure of the emotions welling up inside you.
The room felt like a pressure cooker, and the silence was the ever-tightening lid that threatened to explode at any moment.
The weight of awaiting unspoken words hung in the air, creating a palpable discomfort that gnawed at the edges of your consciousness. Seconds stretched into minutes, each passing moment intensifying the unease.
Your mind raced, replaying the events that led to this standoff… of sorts.
Joining the Avengers four years ago wasn't anything you would’ve expected for yourself. Raised as a normal teenage girl in a quiet suburban household, with a normal life planned ahead of you, you never imagined that your destiny would lead you to the extraordinary world of superheroes.
Tony Stark, the genius behind the Iron Man suit, approached you with an offer that would change your life forever. He explained that the world needed new heroes, and your unique abilities were the missing piece they had been searching for. After some hesitation and contemplation, you decided to accept the invitation to join the team.
And here you are - now a grown woman - sitting across from the same Tony Stark. His jaw was slack, eyes wide to an almost inhuman degree. For a man who had faced gods, aliens, and powerful foes, the revelation seemed to have caught even the Iron Man off guard.
To put it shortly, he was stunned. Such an uncharacteristic reaction from the philanthropist.
“What did you just say?” He finally managed to answer.
This was supposed to be easy; simple enough to not stress you even more, but you should've known that nothing comes easy with this man.
“I think you heard me, Tony.”
“Yeah, but I never thought I’d hear that… come out of your mouth.” He slaps his hand against the chair excitedly. He was both amused and bewildered by the unexpected turn of events.
“I mean, everyone thought you were a virgin, with the lack of relationships over the years, but I guess not, huh?”
His laughter irritated you no doubt.
Despite being twenty-three years old, your teammates, in their misguided assumptions, were certain you were a virgin. It was a label that stuck, fuelled by your shyness about your personal life. No one ever dared to inquire about your relationship status, but subtle concerns were shared between them, creating an unspoken curiosity.
In reality, your heart harboured a secret love for someone you couldn't have – a person who existed in the realms of impossibility. It was a love that had silently grown over the years, nurtured in the shadows of silent words and unfulfilled desires.
“So, you want me to set you up with an escort?” He asks, humour still evident in his voice.
You nod, a mix of embarrassment and anticipation washing over you. Your eyes briefly met his before retreating to your fidgeting hands, the room still echoing with his laughter.
“That’s fine. But first, I need you to answer some questions.” Tony continues, his tone shifting to a more serious note.
Confusion creeps across your face as you tilt your head, thrown off course by his unexpected shift in seriousness.
“First of all, why?” He inquires, leaning back in his chair and studying your reaction.
You hesitate for a moment, contemplating how much you should reveal. "It's complicated. There was someone… but the feelings weren’t mutual, and it’s time to move on. I thought this might be a way to help me do that."
Tony raises an eyebrow, intrigued. "Feelings, huh? Well, I'm all ears. Spill the beans. Who's the lucky guy?"
You sigh again, knowing that this part might complicate things. “It’s not something … I just don’t think-,” You don’t want to tell him, it feels all too frightening, “I can’t say.”
He hums lowly, observing your obviously nervous state.
“Okay. What’s your preference?”
Your confusion grows.
He sighs, “Male or female?”
He asks so simply whereas you’re caught off guard.
Your ears burn in embarrassment as the implication dawns on you. You knew this would have to be spoken about at some point, you just didn’t expect it to be so soon.
“Uh, I t-think, female.”
Tony can't help but wear a sly grin. “So not a virgin and not into dudes. No wonder you shot Sam down.”
The mention of Sam makes you cringe, recalling your first encounter with the man who couldn’t take a hint that you were definitely not interested.
You attempt to regain your composure before warning Tony to be serious, but he interrupts your process, seemingly already moved on from your revelation.
“Anyways, what else?”
Again, you’re stumbling over how to answer but he saves you this time, deciding to lighten up on the teasing.
“I’m talking physically. What would you want her to look like? Tall, short, blonde, brunette, redhead?” His hands move drastically as if sculpting an imaginary figure in the air.
You raised an eyebrow, unsure if he was serious. "Does it matter?"
“Well, yeah, escorts are usually pricey, especially the ones I use to hire so… you might as well fuck someone you’re actually attracted to.”
He was right. It would cost a fortune for a high-end escort. Given your public image and the constant scrutiny you faced, you realise that anyone you brought into your private space would need to be discreet and accustomed to the world of celebrities. There would be NDAs to sign, and security measures to consider, and the whole process seemed more complex than you had initially thought.
“Assuming you want an escort for that?”
His words interrupt your thinking. He had a knack for understanding things without needing them explicitly stated. It was both a blessing and a curse. The fact that he guessed your intention to hire an escort without you saying it out loud was both impressive and mildly embarrassing.
Your blush deepens.
“I’d prefer her to be taller than me, brunette, green eyes.”
His grin slips slightly, realisation sinking in. Your preference seemed to match the appearance of a certain witch.
“Simple enough.”
“And also, old- actually, she can be my age, but I’d prefer an older woman.” You add, unknowingly unravelling another layer of mystery to your request.
Tony hums.
“Preferably not American, maybe like European, or…”
It couldn’t get any better for the man. The quick panic in your eyes, let alone the twitch in your lip, helped finalise his theory.
But ever the optimistic, there’s no way he’d caught that slip.
There are a lot of tall, brunette Europeans in America.
Surely.
He rests his head in his hand, feigning false nonchalance, “Sounds familiar.”
Oh.
Wanda Maximoff arrived in America with a heavy heart and a troubled past. The scars of Sokovia and the loss of her brother, Pietro, weighed on her soul, but she was determined to forge a new life. She was haunted by the memories of experimentation and the pain that had been inflicted upon her throughout her life. The scars, both physical and emotional, served as a constant reminder of the darkness she had endured. Yet, as she stepped onto American soil, she felt a glimmer of hope.
Hope for a new life.
Almost every day, she participated in training sessions to harness and control her formidable powers. Vision, an android and fellow Avenger, became her mentor and confidant. Together, they worked tirelessly to channel her abilities, turning the chaos into controlled strength.
Her dark eyeliner that used to coat her waterline thinned with each passing day. Her green eyes, now a striking contrast against her porcelain skin, began to reflect not only her pain but also the resilience that lay within. Her long, brunette locks remained a constant, gracefully cascading down her back.
The Sokovian Accords had torn her away from your life, but Steve Rogers, the man with an unyielding sense of justice, had set her free. She had been detained, left to rot in chains and a power-disabling device. But now, she lived in the shadows, on the run from those who sought to control her immense power.
The next time you saw her was on the battlefield in Wakanda. The sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm orange glow over the Wakandan landscape, and you found yourself standing amidst the chaos of the battlefield. The air was charged with tension, tangible electricity that mirrored the clash between the forces before you. Amid the chaos, you caught a glimpse of a familiar figure, moving with purpose and grace.
Wanda. The woman you once knew as a fiery teenager, full of anger and confusion, had transformed into someone entirely new. Her crimson hair, cut to a length that framed her face, caught the fading sunlight as she weaved through the battlefield.
The old Wanda you knew was gone and yet she was still as beautiful. Still the same Wanda you were in love with.
Even so, she was your best friend.
The age difference never seemed to matter; you clicked in a way that transcended space and time. To you, her friendship was everything. And yet, as life unfolded, so did the unexpected twist of emotions that left you utterly devoted to her.
But your love was unrequited. She fell for Vision. The robot born from the mind stone, the same stone that granted Wanda her powers. They clicked instantly.
Unrequited love can be a heavy burden, and you carried it silently, painfully. From a distance, you observed the deep connection between Wanda and Vision strum stronger. Your heart ached, knowing that you never stood a chance against the android who had become the love of her life.
Her space and time.
And then came Westview. It hit you like a tidal wave of sorrow. Wanda, now known as The Scarlet Witch, had created an alternate reality in an attempt to find solace, to build a life where she could have everything she ever wanted. It was a bittersweet revelation - she had her family, but it was a fragile illusion. Life had decided to take everything good from this woman and that included her husband and twin boys.
Learning about their fates left you shattered. It had been a while since you cried over Wanda. You felt so much for the witch. To you, she deserved the universe but for all the time you knew her, she had only experienced pain.
It was a heartbreaking paradox - the one who could rewrite reality couldn't escape her own suffering.
Tony moves closer to you, breaking you out of your trance.
“You could always look for her.” His hand hovers over yours, unsure.
“No, I couldn’t,” You whisper gently, afraid your voice will betray you, “I don’t want to.”
He doesn’t say anything as he moves back to his original position, battling with himself whether to accept your defeat or encourage you to fight for love.
“Okay. I'll look into it.” He answers shortly.
“Thank you, Tony.”
You really do appreciate his help. He has always been there for you, a fun yet steady presence in your life. He had guided you through tough times in your career and offered a shoulder to cry on when needed. In many ways, he was more than just a friend – he was like an older brother.
“It won’t take long for me to find your woman. So make sure you’re ready for the best night of your life.” He concludes by flicking his tongue grossly between his pointer and middle finger.
But he’ll always be a pig.
--
15TH DECEMBER 2022
A few weeks later, you found yourself in the penthouse suite of one of Tony’s infamous drunk hotel purchases- The Ritz. He had managed to find an escort that fit your preferences within the same night, but due to conflicting schedules and multiple anxiety attacks, you pushed the date back as much as you could.
Tony helped you understand all the unspoken rules of high-end escort services. For high-risk clients, such as yourself, it’s imperative that a fake name is given.
Monica Dunn.
Tony said you didn’t look like a Monica but you didn’t care. You’re pretty sure it wasn’t an escort’s job to care what name their clients use.
Afterwards, NDAs are usually signed, despite the use of a false identity, just in case the escort discovered who the clients were, and sold the information to the press.
This has happened before. You giggle, remembering the scandalous article about Tony and his rendezvous with an escort that gladly divulged a particular fetish of his.
Five minutes before the agreed meeting time, the front desk rings, informing you that your guest had checked in and was on her way up.
You pace around the front door, nursing on the almost empty glass of wine. Soft music playing through the TV just outside the large conversation pit, a sunken enclave surrounded by plush, velvety sofas and cushions in hues of deep royal blue and silver. The pit was nestled in the centre of the room, creating a cosy and intimate atmosphere.
Perfect for tonight.
The suite’s architecture was utterly beautiful. The walls were adorned with gilded frames housing masterpieces of renowned artists, and the floors were covered in an expanse of soft, ivory carpet that allowed you to sink your feet into its embrace. A grand chandelier, dripping with crystal prisms, hung majestically above the conversation pit, casting a warm and gentle glow over the entire space.
Residing in front of the large glass windows, a grand piano stood proudly, its polished surface reflecting the glimmering chandelier above. Your eyes were drawn to it, a majestic instrument that seemed to beckon you with its silent invitation. Unable to resist its allure, you gracefully make your way towards it. The rich scent of aged wood and varnish envelopes you. Fingers delicately glide over the smooth keys, feeling the cool touch beneath.
You sit upon the plush bench, posture adjusting with the grace of a seasoned pianist. You begin to play, letting your fingers dance effortlessly across the keys. The room fills with an enchanting melody, each note resonating through the space. Lost in the music, you start to hum along, your voice blending seamlessly with the piano's tune.
The same tune you wrote for Wanda all those years ago. It's been a while since you’ve played this song. You’re not even sure why you’re playing it now.
The keys dip. A sombre note rings true. The music swirls into a reflection of your emotions, a silent expression of the feelings you had kept hidden for so long and how they remained unbound.
“That’s beautiful.” A voice broke through the harmony, pulling you out of your musical reverie.
Startled, you turn to find her standing there, in all her glory.
And time ceases to exist.
She stands tall. The red hair that once defined her is now a rich, deep brown, still its usual thickness and tied into a high ponytail that exudes a casual confidence. Bangs frame her sculpted face as a gloss stains her lips. She looks different. You can't help but marvel at the maturity that now graces her features. There's a certain grace to the lines that weren't there before, a subtle testimony to the experiences that have shaped her.
The room becomes a backdrop to the flood of memories rushing through your mind. The air is thick with festering emotions as you look up at her, trying to process the unexpected reunion. It's been years since you last saw her, and the wounds of her departure still linger.
You don’t say anything but she does. She steps closer, eyes flickering over your stilled hands on the instrument.
She laughs, and familiarity strikes as she recalls the tune you were playing. "Is that the song you were writing that night?"
The question hangs in the air, summoning memories of the last time you shared your dreams and melodies, the things that mean most to you. She was your muse and you had bared your soul to her in your music. And now you’re trapped between the resonating notes of the piano and the echoes of your past.
For a moment, you struggle to maintain composure. Indifference projected as a firm shield, a sort of defence against the flood of emotions threatening to overwhelm you.
"It's just a tune." You reply nonchalantly, trying to downplay the significance of the moment.
With that, her gaze intensifies, a shadow of uncertainty rushes across her features.
You can't help but feel a sense of curiosity mixed with a tinge of unease.
All this time that has passed and now she decides to come find you.
You don’t understand why she’s here.
She goes to speak but you interrupt her. “What are you doing here, Wanda?”
She’s lost for words, not even fully sure herself.
“I came to see you.”
Wanda sees the strain on your face. She didn’t have to read your mind to know you were in turmoil. Without much thought, she gently cradles your face in her hands, thumbs tracing delicately over your lips, and you lean into the touch, momentarily forgetting everything that’s occurred over the last few years.
This doesn’t last long. The warmth of her touch turns cold, and you stand up abruptly, the piano bench skirting backwards loudly. Anger simmers beneath the surface.
“Don’t touch me.”
You don’t expect it to hurt as you see the pain your words cause her.  
“Seriously, Wanda. Why are you here?” You continue, voice thick with led.
Wanda sighs, unwilling to lie to you anymore. “Tony sent me.”
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msperfect777 · 9 months
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time, thoughts & meditation
⭐️part six of the understanding consciousness & non dualism series
we know nothing is real and everything is imagination. all this is just an illusion bc its forms of consciousness (forms of you) that appear separate and have different labels but all they are is just consciousness.
1. time
time is an imaginary concept; it is unreal. time is not real. yes ego sees time and the clock as real just bc its "physical" but we already know nothing is real period. time is imaginary. when you imagine something, you experienced it instantly. theres no amount of time that will make you experience what you want. the moment you imagine / observe something, it exists instantly. theres no need for waiting. theres no such thing as a "time delay" bc time is imaginary. you are consciousness. you are not "powerful"... you are power itself. if you are going to limit yourself to an imaginary concept such as "time," then you have not realized your true nature (dont worry you will get there *wink).
there is no "past" or "future" bc there is only now. when you imagine something, you imagine it in the present, in the now. when "you" remember a memory of the past, you are doing that in the present, in the now. when "you" stress and imagine something that "you" expect to happen in the future, you imagine it in the now. every "second" is the now. there is only present, no past, no future. "past" and "future" are imaginary, unreal concepts.
2. thoughts
thoughts are from the ego and we already know from last post that ego is not real and that ego will make you think that you need to do something else after you already observed something in imagination. ego makes it harder to understand that everything is imagination. doesnt matter if ego understands or not bc either way, you are only consciousness and so is everything else.
even though thoughts and emotions arent real, your false self can still have doubts and feelings of discouragement which is normal. my advice is that when you become aware of thoughts and bad emotions, remember that you are consciousness; you are everything; you are power itself. stop and realize that you are just the observer (= consciousness / awareness) and those thoughts and feelings are never going to be real. as the observer, just observe the thoughts and feelings come and go. consciousness doesnt have opinions; consciousness doesnt categorize things as "right" or "wrong" or "up" or "down" or "green" or "purple". consciousness is neutral. ego is what categorizes things as "good" and "bad" bc ego is "logical" (which is also unreal). since you are neutral consciousness, observe the thoughts pass without judgement.
just be silent and observe. thats your true being. thats awareness. take a step back and remember ego is not the real you; those thoughts arent real and they are coming from (another unreal thing), the mind. thoughts come from the mind / ego as we already know is unreal and imaginary. so they are basically useless. they are just there for entertainment. nothing serious. part of understanding non dualism is realizing that bc none of this is real, we cannot take anything seriously bc this is all just a game that we create. step back and remember that consciousness is all you will ever be. calmly and silently observe the unreal thoughts and emotions. there is no need to fight or stop unreal things right? consciousness doesnt see those thoughts as "bad" or "annoying". they just are. step back and observe in silence.
3. meditation
when you think of meditation you may think of sitting on a mat in a calm yoga sitting position while listening to silence. in reality, meditation is just consciousness. consciousness is naturally meditation bc, as said before, consciousness is already, naturally calm and neutral w no opinions or judgements. when i tell you to mediate. you are already doing it, you already are it. effortlessly. but ego tells you otherwise and ego presents "messy thoughts" and while you werent aware of your true nature (consciousness), you take the thoughts seriously when they tell you "this is the right way to meditate" etc bc you think you are the body that is actually thinking these thoughts.
challenge (?):
we are naturally the observer. remember when i told you to sit back and observe the thoughts that ego sees as negative? why dont you try to be present and aware of whatever you are doing once in a while bc most of the time, "you" are just thinking about the past or stressing about the future. be present instead.
the video said "put 1000 focus" and "attention"... just know he means be completely aware on (for example) washing the dishes instead of being aware of thoughts and other nonsense while you are washing.
be your natural, meditation self and next time you look out the window, just silently observe the trees. observe the leaves and its stems and the lines and the green color. observe the texture of the bark without judgment. theres no reason to stop or argue with the mind and its thoughts and opinions. just observe them. remember: none of that is ever really happening; you are just observing consciousness (everything is consciousness / imagination). you are staring at yourself so theres no harm in that. stare at "your" hand and silently observe the lines and color. i like to stare at something in my room or close my eyes and silently observe the rain sounds outside in silence. its peaceful and thats pure awareness. if im walking on the street, i observe the people talking while observing the cars honking while observing the way the trees move from the wind while observing how "my" legs move while "i" walk on the street.
i observe my breathing and quiet the mind and thoughts and observe. if thoughts dont stop coming, i wouldnt fight it bc they are just unreal. they are harmless. i just observe the thoughts. with or without thoughts, i am always the observer. i observe what i want. silently observe. with the challenge as said: observe / be aware of the things happening in the present. dont get swept up by the unreal mind and unreal thoughts. calm, stress-less, limitless, silent, neutral, peaceful. thats awareness. thats you.
© msperfect777
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bunniekittiee · 5 months
Text
Bi-Han x Fem. Reader
Bi-Han headcanons (idc if it’s ooc) because I cannot stand the characterization that people have created for him. Like he is not a crazy aggressive dominant man like seriously?? These are teeth-rotting soft so please enjoy. SFW and NSFW!
SFW-
Bi-Han may have a very rough exterior, and it was definitely hard to break the ice (haha).
But his wife is his life.
He adores you, and he loves you so very much.
He may have a difficult time trying to communicate this as he is not one for being ‘lovey dovey’ like Kuai Liang, but that does not mean he doesn’t try his very best.
Gifts, he loves giving you gifts. Sometimes they’re simple like flowers, sometimes they are extravagant.
Either way, he loves to see your smile when he gives you a gift, so it is a reward for him.
However, Bi-Han does have his moments where he can be a little rude.
If he is stressed from the Lin Kuei or feels as if he does not have the energy he should, he can be a little snappy.
He will never hurt you, it would wreck his soul if he hurt you physically.
He may hurt your feelings, but he doesn’t mean to do it on purpose. He can be a little blunt sometimes when he is in a mood.
So after he recovers from his mood, he will seek you out and apologize for his behavior. Yes, he will probably have a gift with him.
He does not like fighting with you. He feels that it is a waste of time, and also he hates to see you upset.
Absolutely loathes going to bed angry. He can be a bit of an overthinker.
If you both got into an argument that was not resolved and he goes to bed moody, he has fleeting thoughts of your possible demise if he went to bed without apologizing or discussing it further.
What if something happened and you died without knowing how much he loved you and how he was sorry? It seriously messes with Bi-Han.
Anything can happen, and he understands that.
So if he can, he will do his very best to make sure you resolve conflict before going to sleep.
Nicknames are: my wife, beloved, my dearest, firefly.
Firefly is definitely a unique one, but it is referencing the time you both watched the fireflies light up in the night around you both.
It was romantic, and your eyes were gleaming so bright, Bi-Han’s chest tightened and his heart yearned for your love.
“My firefly, for you light up my world in ways you do not understand.” He wrote one day to you. “My world will never go dark with you in it.”
He can have a hard time expressing his feelings with words as he has many layers to him, so sometimes he feels better writing it to you.
But that doesn’t mean Bi-Han cannot tell you sweet words.
He misses you very often, especially if it’s been quite some time since he has seen you. He is always thinking about you.
Sometimes he wished he could have a little less responsibilities as Grandmaster so he could spend more time with you.
NSFW-
He does not like to use his powers on you in the bedroom.
It is different if he slightly changes his body temperature, but full on using them, that is forbidden.
Bi-Han would suffer an eternity if he hurt you, so it is a huge no-no to him.
He can be dominant, but it is more so because he is a powerful leader.
However, he loves it when you take control as well. Again, he is the Grandmaster and sometimes he just wants you to take the wheel.
Does not like degradation. He loves you deeply, and he cannot stand to call you names or being so cruel.
Expect it to be very passionate and loving. You are Bi-Han’s world, and he likes to take his time.
Loves cuddling after.
Breathing in your scent makes him feel less stressed and he enjoys your body warmth.
Any scars, stretch marks, or marks, Bi-Han kisses.
He loves every part of you, and he makes it very known.
Bi-Han knows that your essence is sacred, so he takes sex very seriously.
He does not joke around during it (come to think of it, i dont think he jokes around ever).
He does not like to have angry sex, he thinks it does not accomplish much.
And he’s especially worried if he is too angry he will hurt you in a way.
The Grandmaster is traditional in many ways, so he does not speak of your sex life, let alone your lives together, to others.
He expects you to hold the same respect for your relationship.
Bi-Han is not one for kinky sex. He finds it difficult to enjoy the thought of it, and he personally hates to see you in certain scenarios that remind him of his anxieties.
If you do not feel up for sex, he will not pressure you. He will either take care of himself or fight the urge.
You are precious to him, he would rather die before making you do something you don’t want to do.
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intuitively-her · 1 month
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(Knight of pentacles, 6 of wands, 5 of swords rx, Queen of swords rx, Strength rx, 10 of wands, The Lovers rx, The Moon, 8 of swords rx, Judgement)
You're taking your power back and making your dreams come true. This year will be very rewarding for you. You've been putting in endless work, and your spirit guides/ancestors can see this. You will allow yourself to be more vulnerable and ask others for help, especially at work. You're putting your ego to rest and doing what's needed for you. Someone here may start going to therapy. You're finally starting to realize that you don't have to carry life's burdens on your own. You're leaving behind petty issues and distractions that have been holding you back. Self-love is the theme for you this year. Doing less of what you want, and more of what you need. You will spend more time discovering yourself and figuring out what you truly want out of a relationship. This year, you will step into your divine feminine/masculine energy and become a softer version of yourself.
☎️Angel messages: Helpful people, Opportunity, Get more information
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(Knight of wands, Knight of pentacles, Knight of cups, The Magician, 5 of wands, Death rx, 8 of wands rx, 6 of cups)
This year, you'll be living large and taking charge! You're going after what you want. Someone here will start a new job soon. Or you're switching career fields. This is the perfect time. You could be starting a new project, or you're finishing one. Expect a successful outcome from this. Someone here could have an online business, or you could be a content creator. This year will push you out of your comfort zone in so many ways. Someone here will take a solo trip somewhere. I heard "bungee jumping" lol. Someone here will have to do a public speech for a big event, or a performance. You will put yourself out into the dating world again. I see you having fun on dates and not taking anything too seriously. This year is going to make you slow down and live in the moment.
☎️Angel messages: Caution is warranted. Look deeper into this situation before pertaining further. Yoga and exercise are essential to your well-being, peace of mind, and spiritual growth at this time. You have a special bond with animals. Your pets on Earth and in heaven are watched over by angles.
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(Queen of pentacles, 10 of pentacles, Queen of swords, Page of swords, 6 of cups, The Emperor, Ace of swords, 7 of swords, Judgement rx)
This year will be very abundant. There's a lot of big wins in store for you. Someone here is getting a promotion at work. You should play the lottery more often this year. Luck is on your side. Someone here could be getting their own apartment/house. Or you could be redecorating your home. You're finally receiving what you've envisioned and dreamed for. Someone here creates vision boards to help them manifest. You will tend to your inner child a lot more this year. Doing the things that you've always wanted to do. Someone will go to an amusement park. Or you've been wanting to. It would benefit you to reflect on your childhood and do some of the things that you did for fun back then. Arts and crafts? Scrapbooking? You might make a drastic change to your appearance this year. I see someone here changing their style completely. New hair/makeup? This year will teach you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in. Be careful not to self-sabotage a good opportunity for yourself. Know that you deserve good things!
☎️Angel messages: Trust, Big & Happy changes, Ask for help from others
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(The Sun, 3 of wands rx, 3 of cups rx, King of wands rx, Ace of swords, 7 of cups rx, The Fool, 2 of pentacles, 8 of pentacles, The Star)
This year will be a reality check. It seems like you've been feeling unmotivated, or you're not as productive as you could be. There will be some obstacles and disruptions thrown at you this year. This is all to make you see the bigger picture in situations. For some, you can be naive at times, and this causes you to set impossible expectations for yourself/others. And then when those expectations can't be met, you act like it's the end of the world. That needs to change.🤷🏽‍♀️ You will spend more time alone this year. This is needed for your growth. You'll learn to balance your life and become more adaptable to new ways of being. Heavy on the self-improvement. This year is going to test your faith in many ways. Someone here will start a diet routine or get back into the gym. Someone here could be working on starting a new business. Family business? You will gain more recognition as the year goes on. The more you focus on yourself and mind your business, the more attention you gain from others.
☎️Angel messages: Forgiveness, Reconsider, Communicate clearly, Recovery
💗Please DO NOT repost, copy, or steal my work. Thanks!💗
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I’ve noticed that in the marauders fandom, we tend to have a lot of young people and/or people who are new to fandom as a whole. I figured we could all use a refresher on general fandom etiquette, so here are a couple things to keep in mind as we all play side by side in the giant marauders sandbox:
Not everything you come across in the fandom is for you, and that’s okay. The fandom has many different sub-communities surrounding different characters, different eras, different ships, different tropes, and different ways of engaging with the source material. Some of it will be your cup of tea, some of it won’t be, and that’s okay and normal. You have the power to curate your own experience in the fandom and find your way to content that you want to engage with—don’t put that responsibility on the other fans doing their own thing around you. Ship and let ship, kin and let kin; learn that others’ way of “doing fandom” does not have to impact your own, and that your personal feelings of disgust do not need to equate to a moral judgment. It may just be created for an audience that does not include you, and that is fine.
TAG APPROPRIATELY:
It’s rude to post hate in a character's main tag. It’s simple; if you wouldn’t want to see such a post in your fave’s tag, don’t post it in another’s. Additionally, don’t post anything in a main tag that you wouldn’t want fans to engage with. A shitpost you don’t want fans to take seriously? A critical analysis that you don’t actually want to debate with die-hard fans? DON’T TAG IT. If it’s in the main tags, it’s fair game.
Respect the artist. Don’t post ANY hate on on someone else’s fan work (edit, fanart, fanfic, etc). It’s of a character or ship you don’t like? Scroll on. Your tags are always visible to the creator, and authors on AO3 often read all comments and notes on bookmarks. This is art provided to fans free of charge that took effort to produce, and fandoms wouldn’t be alive today without the work of these creators. If you value your community at all, encourage creating things as much as possible, and if you can’t find anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.
Only the characters and topics in the post should be tagged. For example, if you’re posting a headcanon about how Lupin, as Sirius’s bf, would react to Sirius’s new tattoo, you tag #remus lupin (or another remus variant, like #lupin, #moony, etc), #sirius black (or another variant like #sirius orion black or #padfoot), and the relevant ship: #wolfstar. Possibly #marauders (or a variant on that), #harry potter (or a variant on that) or something topical, like #tattoo. THAT’S IT. You do not need to, nor should you, tag James, Peter, Lily, Jily, Mary, Regulus, Jegulus, Marlene, Barty, Rosekiller etc. Tumblr’s tagging system is hard enough to search, and fans looking through their fave’s tags are going to be annoyed that it’s been cluttered up by posts that have nothing to do with the character/ship they’re searching for. You’re not getting “more eyes on your work” or “working the algorithm”, you’re just pissing off people who will report you for spam and/or block you.
Fanfic authors are, first and foremost, people just like you. Please remember to treat them that way. They have demands and projects and life events going on that have nothing to do with the fandom. They are under no obligation to write, they are under no obligation to post their writing, and they are under no obligation to write what you want them to. Be aware of their boundaries. Mind the tags and hit the back button if you don’t like something. Again, you are responsible for curating your fandom experience.
Fandom is a segment of someone's life. Fandom is not reflective of how anyone conducts their day-to-day lives, and it’s not reflective of morality, sexuality, causes they care about, political alignment, religion, etc. Don’t assume you know anything about anyone because of the ships, characters, tropes, etc that they like. Let them reveal as much of themselves as they feel comfortable doing; no one owes you any personal disclosures—ever.
If someone has asks on, feel free to engage and send them one! Most users really enjoy answering asks. Just make sure you’re treating the user with respect and that your tone is clear from your message. And don’t be afraid to leave (nice, kind, supportive!) asks with your username; it can be a great way to start to build a relationship with others in the community.
Reblogging > liking in fandom spaces. Obviously, it’s your blog, and you can decide what kind of posts you want to put on it, but in general reblogging is better because 1. it gets the original post in front of more people, who may not have seen it when it was first posted and may prompt a new round of interest and 2. you can’t search your likes, so reblogging is usually a much better way to make sure that you can find the post again.
This one isn’t really etiquette, but just general advice for new fans: Spend more of your time engaging with what you like in the fandom versus what you hate. If the ratio starts to shift, you might want to ask yourself if you even like what you’re defending, or if you’re just anti-whatever you hate.
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sencubussubs · 2 months
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The 3D is NEUTRAL
Hi lovelies,
I have talked a lot about reacting to the 3D but not this pivotal point! SO if you read this before my other 3D/ Circumstances related posts - good.
What does the 3D being Neutral mean?
The 3D means quite literally nothing. No, not just in the “ignore unwanted circumstances way”, the 3D itself and everything that happens in it is entirely ‘neutral’ it has no actual consequence on or causes from itself (the 3D). Because of this, anything that happens in the 3D only matters if you give value to it - not by interacting with it, but with what meanings you attach to events, people, ‘circumstances’ or whatever else in your inner world. Everything that happens in the 3D is inherently neutral, and what comes out of it is entirely dependent on how you perceive the event and if/how you continue to think about it.
After all it is the law of assumption, your assumptions - dominant thoughts are reflected into the 3D.
This is why it is easier than you might think to change the 3D - by for example ignoring a circumstance - and where the idea of “where your focus lies will manifest” comes from.
How is the 3D neutral if it stems from our Dominant Thoughts?
Yes, the 3D is a reflection of your dominant thoughts - assumptions - however it is only a reflection and an experience. The 3D’s position as a reflection is where its neutrality comes from: if you look in the mirror and don’t like your hair, you don’t blame the reflection, you change self.
Your reflection can not do anything to you to change it - thus it is neutral. The only way you create changes in your reflection is by changing self , perhaps because the reflection makes you feel a certain way, however, as creator you can decide how you let the reflection impact you.
(this is like the simplest way i can describe it)
Anything that happens in the 3D has no impact until you give it meaning. The reason most actions and events in the 3D continue or unfold in certain ways , is because you unconsciously and automatically assign meaning to things you perceive and experience. This is normal, humans are habitual creatures that act and react based on stimuli and repetition. Additionally if you live by assumptions like “everything happens for a reason” you will take 3D events much more seriously, so the 3D will not feel neutral - but it is.
When you take the time to consciously decide if an event, person or circumstance aligns with you as the version of yourself who has your desire, you are able to remove the meaning / impact or, conversely ,emphasize the meaning of it: This is when you’ll typically see the true neutrality of the 3D, because you really do get to pick and choose what stays and goes with no consequences.
Even if the 3D has, let’s say, an ongoing ‘plot’ where your SP doesn’t want a relationship with you, this literally can change in an instant as soon as you change your dominant thoughts.
The 3D is a reflection, it can not and will not argue facts and logic with you to keep a circumstance ongoing. If you look in the mirror and then put on a hat, your reflection is not going to refuse to put on a hat. like it does not have that power! The only way you give the 3d that power is by looking in the mirror and going “oh i don’t have a hat :(“ and then not putting on a hat.
Validating the 3D by letting it impact you is just validating pre-existing dominant thoughts, if they don’t serve you, don’t let them thrive!
The irrelevance of taking action
You can not change your reflection by breaking your mirror
I believe that is a quote from Neville and it explains this principle quite well. Since the 3D is a reflection of your dominant thoughts, you can only really change it with your dominant thoughts again (to change your reflection you do not do anything to the mirror you see it through, you change self). As such nothing you see in the reflection matters, only how you choose to perceive it and there from react to it (internally) does.
This is the choice between: “i don’t have a hat” versus going to put on a hat - just to clarify the hat is a metaphor for changes to your assumptions lol.
Don’t get me wrong, if you have a strong ass - i am talking netherite armour level - self concept, you likely can do whatever you want in the 3D and get what you want - but that also starts from within, with that self concept and denying all the times you took action in the 3D and didn’t get what you wanted. I also don’t like meddling with unfavourable 3D because i don’t want to give the circumstances my validation, time and attention.
This doesn’t mean that every action in the 3D is what i’m talking about, if i am hungry i eat, i am talking specifically about not needing to take action in regard to your desires.
How do we attach meaning to the 3D?
We do this unconsciously like over 95% of the time (i am using this value to give you an idea, this is not a scientifically confirmed statistic lol.) Most of the time this is done due to previous experiences.
example:
Someone messages you saying they don’t want to talk.
Since your associations to good relationships means people want to communicate and enjoy each other’s presence, you create the assumption they don’t like you, or will continue not to want to talk to you.
This is someone who you value highly and are desperate to have a good relationship with so you also find it easier to believe that you messed up to make this happen // that they wouldn’t want to talk to you - because of you.
This then develops an assumption of your relationship with that person that they do not like you and as such the relationship diminishes.
Since we are so used to deriving our understanding of the world from 3D experiences, we automatically apply meaning to new experiences based on old ones. Now just because most of the meaning we have attached to the 3D up until this point has been unconscious using logic and pattern recognition does NOT mean it has to stay that way. Since anything that happens in the 3D is inherently neutral, you don’t have to associate - in your inner world - with anything you don’t like.
Logically being told someone doesn’t want talk to you may follow the neural pathway of “if A (doesn’t want to talk to me) then b (doesn’t value or like me)” of course you can add in all the assumption that that lead up to that like “Event A (does not want to talk to me) was based off of D (assumption that i am not valued or worth being appreciated in relationships) and E (SP is amazing and deserves good relationships)” but like we could keep going like that all day…
However, who gives a fuck about ‘logical thinking’ (nerd ass emoji). On a more serious note, since your inner world (or as neville often put it your imagination) is what the 3D reflects, and you can imagine anything, you have no reason to follow or feed “logical” assumptions that make you feel bad. You do not have to internally validate any 3D circumstance or dominant thought that does not serve you. If you are able to avoid such in the 3D as well, great! if not, it doesn’t matter.
Actions like doing your job to pay your bills while changing your internal beliefs and knowing you have the better fun job internally, does not mean you are validating the belief that you are stuck at the job that sucks, cause 3D action doesn’t matter. Your internal will be reflected and you will be at the fun job in the 3D in no time, as long as you persist and don’t give in.
Only if you actively continue to think that you are stuck there and how much you hate it (and basically deeping your situation) then you are validating those beliefs.
An Important Note about the 3D and Law of Assumption
Just because the 3D is a reflection of your assumptions does not mean it isn’t real. I totally understand why some LoAss followers say it isn’t real, i personally don’t really know how i feel about that but my point is: Don’t just be a dick to people because of the lack of impact the 3D has. If you enjoy being a dick to people you likely have the assumption that they are affected by it - so yes, you are hurting people. REAL PEOPLE.
I get that the law is personal and you can do whatever you want, but if you decide to use any of the Law to hurt people etc honestly just get off of my page, my content isn’t for you. I believe people deserve to know about the law to live good lives, and no ethically good life requires the suffering of others. You have the choice on how to live your life, make the right one.
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charmedreincarnation · 8 months
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Hello sweetie💌 I accomplished the void last night and I want to share my story with you. Well, first of all I did a few days of self concept (I didn't do anything special, I listened to subliminals and reminded myself that I already have it). In fact, when people said that the self-concept was something important to the void, I didn't take it very seriously, I thought it was a limiting belief. but such an idea came to my mind, I tried not to achieve the self concept void, but to make me realize that I already have what I want. In this process, I really achieved great results, I felt better now, family problems decreased as much as possible, and most importantly, I realized my unlimited power. and here is the day i entered void!!!
It was evening hours, I didn't specifically listen to a meditation or a frequency void subliminal. I lay down on my bed, closing my eyes and concentrating on my heartbeat, just with an idea that I was sure was going to enter a state of emptiness. I relaxed my body, then repeated the familiar affirmations inwardly (like I was in the void) After that, I got to the most important stage, my body started to take off, it was like I was floating in a vacuum. I suddenly realized that the sounds were gone, the flashes of light before my eyes and the darkness that followed were pulling me in. At that moment I realized that I was in void and said my wishes.
My manifests:
• I passed a university exam and it cannot be said that I was that successful. so i first manifest the result i want.
• I added the foods that I had been craving for a few days on a board I created on Pinterest, I wanted them to be in my closet when I woke up.
• 50 kg and my dream body type
• The most beautiful state of my own face, free of all my insecurities
• a pet cat
• Every time I want to just close my eyes and affirm, enter the void in seconds.
• Albums and magazines of all my favorite kpop groups
• some anime manga
• mastering the manifest, the instant reflection of my wishes on my reality
• have a perfect self concept
• that my mother is completely healthy and peaceful
• a laptop, a new tablet, the latest headphones and my dream phone
• large amount of money in my safe for myself
• My dream room and also a closet to put my snacks
I had manifested that all my wishes would come true the moment I woke up. The first thing I did when I woke up was to look at the phone and it was exactly what I wanted! then i got out of bed and looked around my room, it was exactly the same as in my dream! then i checked my new tech and money, they were in place too.everything was exactly how I wanted it! I literally felt like a dream, but it was all real. After I suppressed my excitement, I heard my mother's voice, she was saying that the exam results were announced. I entered the site from the phone and checked my result! I have quite enough and an excellent result for the university I want!
I just want to say, you can achieve anything, my dears! Just discover that limitless power and don't give up no matter what. You don't have a single thing missing from successful people, first realize that. You are in control of your reality and it is up to you to shape it according to your wishes. I will give an example from myself, I had so many problems that I was not even in good health. I overcame all this myself. And now I am very happy, living my dreams. take care of yourself, believe in yourself, believe that what you can do is limitless, respect your achievements. I believe in you.
I’ve gotten so many success stories lately. I won’t post all of them and still don’t plan on coming back but I promise I see them and I’m so happy for y’all even if I don’t post it 💓💖💖💖
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misc-obeyme · 3 months
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You know the drill.
Spoilers for Lesson 40 below, including locked and hard lessons.
Just to clarify: when I say that it’s “the end” in my rantings, I am referring to season two, not the entire game. ☺️
Hmm.
I'm confused. And... underwhelmed? What even just happened?
I mean, we had lovely moments with the side characters and we got to kiss them all and of course I'm incredibly pleased I got to kiss Barbatos and Solomon, but aside from that we just... went back?
Most of the lesson was about the RAD founding ceremony. We say good bye to the side characters and they even address how we told Solomon his cooking was bad (more on this later).
But just as the ceremony is about to start, a dark rift opens in the sky. It's a rift in space and time. Barbatos straight up asks Solomon if he did it. Solomon says he didn't, but that he wasn't expecting it to show up so soon. (So who did create it? Nightbringer? And if so, doesn't this prove Solomon at the very least knows enough to know when Nightbringer is going to open a portal back through time??)
We miss the ceremony because we have to go through that rift if we wanna get back. The brothers come with us because we need their power. Just like when we summoned the white dragon, we call upon each brother for his power. Then Solomon adds his. Then there's a bright light and..
...roll credits.
Yeah. That's it. That's the end.
There's a locked lesson where Diavolo gives a speech at the ceremony.
And then the HARD lesson... is us returning to the House of Lamentation in our time. The brothers are all like oh hey MC good morning like nothing even happened. They say it's weird because it feels like it's been a long time since they've seen MC but that can't be right because it hasn't been that long at all.
AND THAT'S IT.
No Nightbringer. No further insight from Solomon or Barbatos. Not even sad angsty brothers who have been missing us.
It was like they didn't know we were gone.
So either we went back a little further in time or there was never a point where they decided as a group to send Solomon back to help us.
We didn't even get a Michael appearance!
THAT WAS VERY ANTICLIMACTIC.
I am confused because it wasn't bad, it was kinda cheesy, there were some sweet lines and like I mentioned previously I got to kiss my malewives but WHAT THE JUNK.
I'm not suffering, more like I'm just left hanging???
My one consolation is that we're back in our timeline now. So maybe NEXT SEASON we can FINALLY get some ANSWERS.
I really thought they couldn't drag it out any further and yet...
I didn't take a whole lot of screenshots this time because again, it was kinda just... underwhelming. Overall this lesson was just me going that's it?! And being baffled.
First I'd like to present you with these lovely Barbatos moments.
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As sweet as this is, the man knows. Not that I ever thought anything else, but he's so subtle about it. I'm onto you, Barb.
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My HEART. If I wasn't going back to another version of him, I would just be like nope staying by your side forever the end I don't care about anybody else.
But before all that, there was also this:
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I'm glaring at you because you let Solomon into the kitchen.
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I DIDN'T WANT TO.
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OF COURSE I DIDN'T.
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GOOD. SOMEONE ELSE CAN SUFFER WITH ME.
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OHHhhhh Barb I love when you get all threatening and smile like that 💕
But seriously, then Barbatos and Luke help Solomon make a lunch that's actually delicious and we eat it with everybody and they're all amazed. I was like OKAY WELL I do feel a bit better about that whole fiasco now. But still, was it even necessary to begin with? No amount of sweet kitchen buffoonery with these guys is going to make me forget the pain.
At least we had a cute Solomon moment, too.
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Yeah but I'm still wondering about the past version of you, Sol. I'm just saying, where is that guy?
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I mean you don't have to look so sad about it.
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Ah. Your jealousy is showing, Solomon. (I don't mind.)
Hard Lesson bits because I'm still just ????
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YEAH BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T.
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YEAH IT'S BEEN TWO WHOLE SEASONS.
Once again, I am left with more questions than what I started with. Will MC tell the brothers what happened? Will we just never see the past brothers again? Will we return to the past in the next season? Will we ever see Nightbringer again, the being for whom this game was named?
At the very least, we still have Mephisto being himself and man I can't believe I ever disliked this guy.
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THAT'S MY BOY.
I'm feeling extremely unsatisfied but it isn't like that's anything new.
I will say that it wasn't as bad as I expected. I was expecting them to do some really terrible things that made me freak out and scream and scare my cat. But no, I was mostly just ?? the whole time. And confusion is preferable to suffering in this case.
But I am also ANNOYED. We have waited long enough for the Nightbringer reveal, please give it to us now Solmare!!!
I fear we only have a short time before we are dragged further into this game that has truly become a hell of its own when season three is upon us... (I'm being deliberately melodramatic but still...)
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cursedartistnelari · 2 years
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DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE???  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL
 The best 120 minutes of my life were there
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 I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but the university has seriously been ruining me.  To be honest, I still haven't been able to make much progress on the next chapter, but as a reward, I decided to give you the context of my story.  So today I come to explain what the hell is going on here :)))
(without spoilers)
 The drawings are not in order. I actually didn't finish all the pictures but suck it. Take it or leave it.
Enjoy
------
It's been a while since the end of the second season, they're all a year older, and apparently blue is the leader now. Does everyone like the idea? Nop
The boys managed to save the world after the almost destruction of everything at the hands of the Shedder, but not without leaving consequences. Strange cracks have recently been reported in the hidden city and New York. These cracks usually appear in random places, have magical properties, their exponential growth periodically, and are characterized by being accompanied by earthquakes wreaking havoc on both worlds. If they do not stop them soon the reality of both civilizations could be harmed. However, no one knows precisely the cause of these, their nature, or their true power... except for Draxum(? He has seen that kind of brilliance before, in his years as a warrior, yokai alchemist, and hater of humans. 
As a last resort to save the world, he decides to look for someone who he hurt terribly in the past, Usagi.
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Usagi is a 16 year old boy, he was born and raised on the outskirts of the hidden city in a very gated traditional community. Where what is professed is the importance of teaching and preserving the traditions of the first yokais who came from Japan to New York settling in the hidden city to build a new life there. Some time ago, his clan was the only one that had New York, they supported each other. They had a great sense of community and union thanks to the great chief who was blessed with the power of the gods to bring harmony and order.
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However, with the passage of time and modernization of human society, several members were moving away from it opting for other forms and lifestyles. This greatly displeased the sages and elders within society, causing new severe rules against anything related to change. Thereby creating a smaller, closed, and remote community until total isolation. 
Usagi was born into a society almost forgotten and close to change, he as the only son of the boss, had to learn everything necessary to one day succeed his father and continue with the tradition, he is aware of this. He knows the importance of this. He loves his father and loves his people. 
But is it really what usagi wants? What if it wasn't? 
Sadly before he could know the answer to that question, misfortune knocked on his door.
"Being different takes you bad places son"
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It is one of the words he remembers most from his father as he waits his turn in the cell to get in the ring and fight for his life followed by Draxum's face, he cannot forget it, nor does he want to. Yes, there was a time when he believed he would be the chief. He really thought that some days he would make a change. He thought that he had friends. Did he was someone? Did he ever have a life?
Now he only fights to survive one more day... until some turtle boys appeared to look for him.
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Things have not been easy for mad dogs, since the change of leadership from Leo to Rapha, the missions have become more complicated not to mention that his success rate in these has been declining thanks to Leo always ending up acting on his own more than in a team causing arguments between him and Rapha, followed by his two other brothers trying to calm them down.
Raphael is the older brother of the boys, he has been the natural leader of his brothers for years, and despite that, the truth is he has no problem with leaving the leadership to Leo. That is, at first the whole thing brought him a lot of mixed feelings. Was there anything wrong with him? If he was no longer the leader of the mad dogs, what is his role in the team?  It was all very confusing, but if Dad thinks it's the right decision to make Leo the leader, that's fine, he wants to support him and teach him everything he knows. But sometimes it's so complicated and frustrating to make Leo understand that every decision that he makes has consequences.  The most recent thing they must solve now are those rare and complicated cracks. Honestly, they have Rapha very worried and if Leo does not take it seriously, he does not know what else he can do.
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Mikey was always the youngest in the family, he was always loved and protected by his older brothers since dad was not always available for them due to personal problems related to PTSD.  Therefore it is normal that he has never liked the conflicts between his brothers and since the change of roles, these have become more frequent.  He genuinely wants to help everyone, he is no longer a child who must be overprotected by others, sometimes he can also do the same for his siblings, listen to his problems, propose solutions, and talk.
Things like that. 
It's just frustrating that they always underestimate his abilities and treat him like a baby by hiding things that they think he can't handle.  Since the magical cracks appeared Mikey has the feeling that this could be his chance to show his brothers that he can help them too, he is the most magical of the family he just needs a chance. 
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Donnie has never been the best when it comes to feelings or change. There are many things that have changed since the battle with the shedder, starting with Leo who is now apparently the leader.  Honestly, he is not very sure about this new change in the team, I mean he loves his brother and he must admit that he has some leadership qualities, but Raphael has always been in charge of leading them, it is a big change that he is terrified that It's going to go wrong and to be fair over the last few weeks Leo hasn't helped him change his mind.  Recently cracks started appearing everywhere and maybe his brothers don't understand but if they don't work as a team this could go very wrong, not being good at this feeling thing, he doesn't know how to tell others his worries about the cracks. 
Draxum insists that he knows someone. Yeah, of course. Let's trust him.
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 Leonardo, to be fair with him…
He never wanted to be the leader, "the face man" was a much more comfortable title for him.  Honestly, what was dad thinking about that decision?  Everyone knew that he didn't have the ability to be the leader, you don't have to be very smart to realize that he's not the one for the job.  Being the leader of the mad dogs comes with so much responsibility and pressure, you only have to look at Rapha's forehead to know what he meant.  Not to mention that everyone is against his way of doing things, he doesn't want to be the leader, but when he tries, nobody listens to him! He gets results, right?  What is the problem, then??  Maybe he doesn't take it too seriously, but he just doesn't want to do this.  Must be a bad dad joke and by this point, it's not funny anymore. 
The cracks appeared recently and Draxum says that he knows someone who might have an answer for her, he honestly just wants to accomplish this one more mission to prove her point, until a cute boy shows up.
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------
 I thought about this comic as a way in which I would like to develop different aspects such as trauma, sexuality, their relationships with each other, and insecurities of the characters within the TMNT universe, etc.  Since I didn't want this to get stuck on just in one ship.  This led me to make the comic longer than I originally intended... and I mean A LOT longer.
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For example, the typical rivalry between Leonardo and Raphael, but taken in a different way where Rapha tried to be like a mentor/guide for Leo developing their friendship (just like in the movie)
Donnie's problems over the idea that Draxum is now one of the good guys and he honestly doesn't believe him and doubts that someone like him can change so quickly.
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 Show a nice relationship between Mikey and Leo, where Angelo acts as a support for his brother and Leo is really willing to listen to Mikey's concerns.
 I had planned that after Leo, Donnie would be the one who gets along best with Usagi although no one knows why, maybe it's because they are both quite quiet.  At some point, Usagi turns to Don to tell him about his confused feelings for Leo, but Donnie would not be of much help in this regard because I was thinking of doing him aro/ace hahaha therefore he does not understand 100% what is happening to these two but he is sure They like each other and it's annoying to hear them both being so dramatic.
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Another relationship I wanted to show would be Rapha's with Cass.  In other adaptations, we saw that they have been very close and I wanted them to get along in some way in my AU.  For example that Rapha and Cass started talking to each other since he helped her with anger management issues and getting over her past as part of the Foot Clan.
 Leosagi wouldn't be the only ship in the AU either.  I love Cass x April and I imagine them in a dynamic of enemies to lovers, for me they are girlfriends and I don't care what the rest say they love each other.  Since they helped each other grow up, Splinter was the first to notice that they both have a lot in common even if they don't notice it.
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Venus de milloooo, she will definitely have an antagonist role~ a turtle that splinter forgot to take and after surviving on her own in the streets of the hidden city. She ended up in the hands of big mama, being one of her champions in the battle of the nexus, earning her trust, leveling up and working for her as her right hand.
 Finally, I think about including other characters for which I already have designs and others I don't see idk I want to pamper myself.  Everything is possible.
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Comic part 1
note 1: to be honest I doubt very much that I will draw the complete story that I develop for this Au, due to lack of time and nobody is paying me asdhadkjk at most a couple of vignettes of my favorite parts, explain the context, fanarts, and designs. But nothing more, I would let the fandom do what they want with this idea, just write leosagi fanfics please, I emotionally depend on that.
note2: I really want to thank @herm_izz and @nanakase_01 for helping me with the art and the script. THEY ARE SO AMAZING JUST GO AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER
note3: I know my English sucks I'm doing my best :')
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crystaldivination · 1 year
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STOP AND ENJOY THE MAGIC 🪄
Your life in a bright light - what makes your life beautiful and how come you don’t see it?
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PILE ONE PILE TWO PILE THREE
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Sometimes we don’t see what we have in front of us and how wonderful all this is put together. If only we can take a better look at it and only focus on the present… So in this pick a card reading I want to shed a light on what’s so beautiful in your life and about what you can be so grateful for.
◟ପ my other readings • paid services • leave me a sprinkle of magic dust ✨💫
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How to choose your pile? As always meditate or close your eyes before looking at each picture. Trust your intuition and pick out a picture you feel the most drawn to.
Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.
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🤍 PILE ONE
Welcome to your pile, beautiful creature. So to me it seems like disappointments were present in your life and have shaped you to a point that it feels like it’s scary to believe in something new.
But don’t crumble to that fear. Don’t let it scare you from experiencing all the beautiful things that you haven’t known before. Life is all about discovering right? So all those feelings and the journey you made were part of it. Some are necessary for you to grow and some just happen to exist so that we can make something out of it. It’s in your hand to create. You have a very deliberate and free spirited soul that is waiting to go on adventures again. Use that to your advantage. You never know what could happen. Even if you trip you can always stand up again but rest assure because all you have learned so far is of use to you. You’d know when to go forward and when to be careful. What a wonderful gift, don’t you think? Everything has it good and seemingly bad side so choose wisely. You can be the one who makes the choice. What you can be grateful for is this and also your ability to go beyond. You have people who are believing in you and even look up to you for the person you are today. Don’t let it go to waste. Stand straight and firm. Be proud of who you are and what you’ve accumulated until now whether that be on a personal or material level. You’re so inspiring to me, pile 1!
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🤍 PILE TWO
Welcome to your pile, beautiful creature. To me it seems like you’ve been through a lot. You must’ve faced a lot of delays and having to be patient about things but remember nothing lasts forever especially the things that we want to break free from. There are always new beginnings so have faith in that.
Don’t take life too seriously. Go with the flow and enjoy the journey. You might be someone who is like a perfectionist in a way or someone who just likes to go and do things in order. But you know to exist is to live and experience. Take things as they are while adapting and changing it for the better. You don’t need to always buckle up your seatbelt preparing for the worst. Give yourself a break. Don’t go all in when it’s not necessary or needed. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself to be in the moment. You’re a diligent and happy soul that is full of life waiting to feel the best in doing something that gives you true joy. Channel this energy of yours again deep in you and create something wonderful out of this. With this purposeful intention and power you can be anything you want to be. Don’t restrict yourself with your self criticism. Be free and let yourself see a different side of things in life to gain another perspective on everything or anyone you thought to be out or not of use. What you can be so grateful for is your determination and ability to persist. You have beautiful and helpful people who are there to support you at any time. Ask for help or lean on someone when you feel like it. I’m so proud of you for coming this far and believe in yourself, pile 2!
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🤍 PILE THREE
Welcome to your pile, beautiful creature. It’s hard to keep up right? Especially nowadays in this time and age. This society is making you doubt yourself even to the point of losing sight of your dreams. You might be confused about what you want but you know what you need right now is peace. Only so you can calm down and ground yourself to gain focus again. It’s not that you’re incapable, it’s just the outside noise that’s clouding your mind at the moment but you’ll come back soon.
Stop and observe. Slow down to see and take in all the things that surround you. Laugh again, go see the sunset you like so much. Enjoy the little things in life to feel whole and alive again. Life is not a race and you’re not competing against anyone. You have your own missions and goals and your own lane with your own speed to do the things you want to do in your life. Ignore all the people and things that are telling you what to do. Ask yourself what is that that you want and remind yourself of what you used to enjoy. Do the things you are good at and most importantly what you truly want. You can get out of your comfort zone to try out new things as well. Focus on what is important to you. Contemplate whether you do this for your own sake or is it just to satisfy others. You’re so talented and have so much potential. It’s time you realize that. This is also what you can be so grateful for. Take your time and let your inner child shine again. There are many people who can help you connect to your creativity. Surround yourself with like-minded people who can uplift you and give you inspiration. Shine brighter, shine like you’ve never before, pile three!
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PLS VOTE FOR MY NEXT GAME HERE IF YOU'D LIKE 🥥🦢🌸
ਊ Thank you for reading. Hope you like it!! Leave a feedback, like & reblog are highly welcomed! Have a lovely day <3
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© 2023 crystaldivination ── all rights reserved. do not copy, translate, edit, alter, or redistribute my work. Plagiarism in any form is prohibited.
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v0xtvdemon · 2 months
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Crackfic but I haven't written in a bit
Well, here we go. I made this one short because my head's a bit empty right now but I must write-
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Type: Crackfic (Written somewhat seriously)
Vox x Alastor (One-Sided)
Words: 478
Vox sat at his computer screens, all had lost signal from him going a bit overboard because of Alastor, his rival that he hated very much and did not have a crush on at all. That damn radio demon had managed to take over Vox’s thoughts again.
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK!” Vox yelled, putting clawed hands over his own face in embarrassment. “What the FUCK am I supposed to do now…:
Ah, right… pretend Alastor treated him seriously…for the 5th time in 3 days.
Vox silently moved to ‘VoxDocs’, another thing he created that also had his name in it, upon entering the application he was reminded of the many documents he had created about him and Alastor. They ranged from ways to confess to full on fanfiction created of the two. Neither Valentino nor Velvette knew about these secret documents. They would’ve questioned him way too much about it at best.
Checking back to see if anyone entered without him noticing, a new document was opened and immediately titled ‘Alastor gives me attention’. It was all he wanted at the moment. Attention from his…rival.
“I swear if someone walks in I’m going to destroy them.” Vox muttered, focusing on the fanfiction he was writing.
‘I look up to the screens in front of me, grinning as Alastor begins to mock me with his pathetic voice and choice of words. His attempted insults mean nothing to me but it’s amusing to watch him try, after all it showed who was the more powerful.
Anything he said about me, hell even insults about me being weaker than both Valentino and Velvette, were useless and it was obviously getting to him by now. Or it should’ve.
Alastor was stupid enough to ignore the lack of effect his words had on me, he was completely unaware I was gaining more power from his attention!’
Perfect, absolutely perfect. Vox loved the idea of Alastor’s attention even if it was purely insults. After all they were rivals, it was perfectly normal for one to want the other’s attention, ignoring the fact Alastor only saw him as a joke and nowhere near a rival.
“Ah Alastor..your attention is what I crave..besides Valentino not losing his shit for one day.”
“What-” A voice somewhere behind Vox said, causing him to turn around roughly 188 degrees given the fact he was leaning slightly and wasn’t turning straight around because of that.
“VALENTINO FUCK OFF” Vox yelled, covering the screen as best as he could while the moth had the blankest stare known to demons ever. “Did you stare at a light for 4 hours again?!”
“Light”
“Fucking dammit” Vox growled, grabbing the other’s arm to go drag him away from the tv screens projecting way too much light for Val’s brain to handle.
Of course, distracted from making his amazing fanfiction once again.
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