#service top eddie diaz

[megalony]

Ballet Dancer

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine, requested by anon. I'm sorry for how long it's taken me to write this for you I hope you will all like it. I'm working my way through some Eddie requests as I'm in the mood to write for him at the moment. Any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Summary: The team never knew how into ballet Eddie was... or the fact that he is married to a ballet dancer. Until they get called out to an accident at the theatre.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Eddie tipped his head back against the seat and closed his eyes while his hands moved to clasp together between his thighs. He brushed his thumbs over the back of his hands as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to level out the unease and panic in his system.

He didn't like where they were going on this call out.

He knew exactly where they were going; Eddie had been here over ten times during the last month alone, but never on a call out. Never with anyone from the team alongside him. And he had never been here whilst he was on duty.

It had to be a coincidence. There were going to be hundreds of people here tonight. That gave Eddie a good chance of not having his wife be one of the people they were here to attend to. He prayed his wife wouldn't be one of the casualties they had to patch up. There chances were slim when compared to how many people worked here and would be here visiting to watch the performance.

When the truck pulled to a stop, Eddie stilled himself and took a deep breath, trying not to act too eager to get out. He let everyone else filter out the truck first before he hopped down and grabbed one of the medic bags and slung it onto his shoulder.

"Well this is a new one." Hen slung a medical bag on the gurney and wheeled it down from the back of the ambulance. She moved to follow Bobby onto the pavement and all of them took a second to glance up at where they now were.

A theatre.

"Man, I wonder what they're performing?" Evan tilted his head back and looked up towards the midnight sky where the top of the theatre stretched up like it could reach the stars.

This place looked fancy. Old brick building, stone statues outside. Large marble steps leading up to the main doors and staff stood at the doors to keep people from entering late. It had been a long time since Evan had been anywhere like this; if he was watching a play, it was usually on the tv, not in person.

"Romeo and Juliet."

Eddie internally cringed when he spoke before he had chance to think. He tightened his hand around the bag on his shoulder and jogged up the steps with the rest of the team in his wake. He didn't have to say anything. The staff on the doors opened up for them immediately. They knew an accident had happened and they were waiting for the emergency services to arrive.

"I didn't know you were into ballet." A smile pulled at Hen's lips as they all filed inside, past reception and over to the doors beneath the Main Hall sign.

"Oh, you have no idea."

There hadn't been enough time when they arrived for Eddie to scour through the posters outside and find the dates and calculate which play was on tonight. He must have known already, which one was being performed.

"Romeo and Juliet's a play, not ballet."

"It was a play first, Buck, but it's been styled into ballet too." Bobby clapped a hand down on Evan's back as they matched pace with Eddie who was already through the main doors and walking down the darkened corridor.

Eddie turned towards one of the attendants when he reached the end of the corridor and came out into the hall. The lights were on, basking the large dome hall in brightness so people could see and remain or move from their seats. He moved towards one of the attendants stood at the last row of stalls in the ground circle.

He took a moment to glance behind him at the higher seats that went as far back as the eye could see until the very back row would have but a minimal view of the stage ahead. Most of the crowd were still in their seats. They hadn't gotten up to leave or gone for a drink or acted like this was the interval. There was a lot of chatter though, and Eddie tried not to pay any attention to whatever rumours were spreading around.

"What have we got?" Bobby placed his hands on his hips as he stood beside Eddie and looked over at the waiting attendant.

She was stood with her hands clasped in front of her and an anxious, but now relieved look on her face when they arrived.

"A dancer fell, and knocked into another, who fell onto another… we had to draw the curtain but we couldn't move anyone for the understudies to come on stage."

"The domino effect," Bobby muttered quietly. "Okay, show us where they are."

They had just finished another call out and had been redirected to the theatre instead of back to the station. Another ambulance was on the way as they were told they had a few casualties to get checked over and possibly take to the hospital.

But Eddie was glad they were the first ones on the scene. He had been hoping it would be someone in the audience who had had some sort of accident or problem. Knowing it was a performer only made his adrenaline spike and increase the frantic worry circulating throughout his system. That increased the chances of it being his wife who was one of the casualties.

Confusion plastered on Bobby's face when Eddie sped ahead after the attendant, overtaking Bobby who usually led the way since he was captain. Was Eddie a big fan of ballet? Was he interested in seeing which performers were hurt and who he could attend to? Why was he in such a rush?

Eddie internally cringed when a round of applause sounded as the team weaved around the outskirts of the aisles towards the steps that led up to the stage. They weren't part of the act. They were the first responders, they were here to help. These people shouldn't be cheering, they should sit quietly or go and take a break as they waited to see if the performance would continue or be rescheduled.

The attendant parted the blood red curtain and made enough of a gap for the team to squeeze through, along with their stretcher.

"Fuck." The word spat through Eddie's lips and he felt his shoulders tensing up and quaking when he looked around the mess.

He had been on this stage quite a few times during the last month, even Chris had been prancing around on stage and roamed the theatre when it was empty. He had watched the performance, both from the stalls and from a backstage view of rehearsals.

He shouldn't be behind this curtain in uniform.

He darted around the casualties, all laid out on the floor in various areas of the stage. Eddie knew a few of them by name, but there was only one he was looking out for and that one person was, sadly, one of the people sat on the floor in agony.

His eyes zoned in on his wife and he made a beeline for her.

(Y/n) was sat just to the left of the centre of the stage. Her body was jittering and trembling back and forth and she tried her best to smile when she looked up and locked her eyes on Eddie. But her smile didn't calm down his raging nerves because he could see the tears streaked down her face.

He assessed the way she was sat. Leaning to the left with her right arm curved tight around her chest and her hand splayed out on the left side of her chest.

"Mi amor. What happened?" Eddie slumped the bag down at his side and knelt down beside (Y/n)'s thigh.

Suddenly, he didn't care that the rest of the team were here and freely able to see him become affectionate. It didn't matter. All that mattered was that this was his call. This was his wife and she was the only one Eddie was going to put any focus and attention on. He wouldn't be dealing with anyone else but (Y/n).

He reached his hand out and cupped her chin between his thumb and finger, tilting her head back so they were level. His eyes narrowed and his head leaned forward as he scrutinised every inch of her to see what injuries she had and why she was crying.

(Y/n) moved her trembling hand from her thigh to cup Eddie's wrist and her lips curved into a tepid smile when she looked up at her husband. She could see Anna, one of the girls in the theatre group, smiling over at her. She had guessed that Eddie might just get wind of this call and make his way down here. (Y/n) didn't think so. She thought the team would be busy somewhere else, with a different call or a more demanding call. (Y/n) didn't think they would be here, she thought a few ambulances would be sent out. Not the fire department.

"W-we were doing the lift… I don't know what happened, Thomas stumbled and let go, I knocked Lia on my way down…" (Y/n) winced in discomfort and closed her eyes, trying to lean into Eddie's touch but she opened her eyes again when she felt him move.

"You dropped her?!"

A shiver tore down (Y/n)'s spine and she latched both hands around Eddie's wrist when he looked towards Thomas who was sat a few feet behind (Y/n). She could sense Thomas shuffling back and muttering apologies he hadn't stopped saying since the curtains closed.

"Sorry Eddie."

It had been an accident, although (Y/n) didn't know who had stumbled or tripped first or why. One moment she was being lifted, getting ready to twist and lean to jump into Adam's hold, then the next moment Thomas was falling and his hands were no longer on her hips.

She had only been a few feet high but it felt like she had fallen from the heavens when she crashed down to the harsh wooden floor. On her way down, (Y/n) collided with Lia who then pushed the domino effect and caused another three dancers to cause some kind of injury. (Y/n) wasn't sure what went wrong, but their entire performance was now ruined.

They didn't have the time to switch roles and get enough understudies dressed and prepped ready to continue the show. They would have to stop for tonight and refund whoever was in the audience.

Moving her hand from her side, (Y/n) reached her fingers out and danced them across Eddie's jaw until he pulled his eyes back to her. Rather than staring daggers into her dance partner who was supposed to look after her, not drop her.

"It hurts," She mumbled quietly, trying to stop herself from shaking but for the last ten minutes all she had been able to do was cry and tremble back and forth like a leaf in the breeze. Her hand retracted from Eddie's jaw and she brushed the back of her hand beneath her eyes to wipe away the stray tears.

"What does, mi amor?"

(Y/n) hovered her hand back over her side just below her arm but she couldn't bring herself to touch the area of pain. She had landed roughly on her left side and spasms and jolts like electricity rolled through her. For the first few minutes, (Y/n) hadn't been able to move. She laid, gasping and wheezing and crying until someone managed to sit her up.

Leaning up on his knees, Eddie kissed (Y/n)'s temple before he moved his hands out to try and assess her chest.

He pressed over the right side of her ribs first, just to check there were no scrapes or bruises or fractures there. But when he tried to touch the left side, he felt (Y/n)'s nails scratching into his arms and she cried out. Her head tipped forward until her face was buried against Eddie's shoulder.

"Okay, I've got you. Try and stay still for me, baby." He spoke quietly against her hair while his left arm curved around her back and his hand placed between her shoulders.

He continued to press his fingertips down the left side of her chest, counting two possible fractures and some swelling that was already starting to get worse and strain against her thin top.

"Two ribs are definitely fractured or broken, you'll need an X-ray." Eddie moved his hand round to cup the back of (Y/n)'s neck and his lips smothered the top of her head when she whimpered into his shoulder. This would set her back a few weeks. She wouldn't be able to perform now. (Y/n) would have to take a few weeks off and switch to being the understudy until she was cleared by the doctor.

Perfect timing. Right in the middle of their new show.

At least they weren't on tour. (Y/n) hated touring. She hated being away from home, having to get used to new stages and venues and changes in direction when they were dancing. New changing areas and rushing around in an unfamiliar setting when they had costume changes.

She didn't like being away from her boys either. That was why she had signed up to this theatre group. They stayed at this theatre and every two months, they would learn a new show and routine and switch up the roles and perform something different, but stay in the same venue. It meant the group didn't have to change or be on the road and do a different venue every three or four days. And (Y/n) didn't have to leave home, she could still go back to her boys at the end of the night after a performance.

"Stay still a moment," Eddie mused quietly as he unravelled one arm from her so he could find the stethoscope in his bag.

He listened to her heartbeat before he moved it to press against her back and listen to her breathing. He sighed and nodded to himself when he heard her lungs take deep breaths. The broken ribs hadn't splintered into her lungs which was a big relief.

"Shall we get you up?"

"No," (Y/n) shook her head against his shoulder before she lifted her head just high enough to perch her chin on his shoulder.

Tears began to fall from her eyes again and she felt Eddie's hand move to cup her arm. He smothered his lips against her temple and reeled her more into his chest as he dropped the stethoscope back into the bag.

"Why not, baby?" They couldn't exactly stay here for the rest of the night. As much as Eddie wanted to sit and console her and comfort her, he needed to get her to the hospital. "I'm not leaving you, you know. I'll be right here," He kept his voice quiet enough so only (Y/n) could hear what he was whispering against her ear.

Eddie dared to look around the stage and see what glances he was getting from the team. Evan kept looking over at him with a strange, unusual smile and Hen shook her head when their eyes locked. They were all trying to focus on sorting out the other dancers, but they couldn't stop looking back over at Eddie.

He never told them his wife was a ballet dancer. He never said what his wife did for a living and none of the team had met her. He talked about her often enough and so did Chris because he now started to call (Y/n) his mum. Eddie just wanted to keep his life a bit more private, just for the meantime. He wasn't used to sharing his life with the people he worked with.

"My knee…"

A frown pulled at Eddie's lips and he gently unravelled from (Y/n) so he could turn to the side and look down at her legs. She had been cradling her side when he arrived, he didn't think she looked like she was in pain with any other injuries.

(Y/n) moved her hands to her thighs, digging her nails through her pale cream tights until she created ladders in the material. Her chin perched down on Eddie's right shoulder and she tried to stop herself from crying and hold steady as he knelt in front of her legs and looked at her left knee.

It was swollen already and the mere touch of Eddie's fingers pressing down on the joint made (Y/n) cry out and drag her nails up her thighs to hold herself steady.

"Mi amor… it's dislocated. Can I put it back into place?" Eddie couldn't go ahead and do it without asking first, but he knew the answer. He knew (Y/n) would much rather he do it for her than wait for a doctor or a nurse at the hospital to set it back for her.

(Y/n) didn't have the words so she simply nodded and sank her teeth down into her lower lip. She didn't want anyone but Eddie to look after her. She'd never dislocated or broken anything before. Despite the vigorous training she had done over the years to get herself to this point in ballet, she had only ever pulled muscles or tendons. She hadn't broken anything until now, and she never thought it would happen during a performance with an audience like this.

"Afraid I need to tear these."

"Wouldn't be the first time," (Y/n) whispered, trying to force herself to smile when Eddie scrunched up her tights around the middle of her thigh. He had torn enough of her tights over the past few months, this wasn't anything new.

She watched his lips form a daring smirk that showed his teeth before he easily sank his nails into her tights and stretched the fabric until it ripped apart like a tissue beneath his hold. They were fancy, but they weren't thick or made of any strong material which made them easy to tear apart.

Eddie refrained from tearing them right up to the hilt and giving himself a view of his wife's underwear. He ripped the material down the other way until it was torn apart down towards her ankle. He needed a clear view of her knee and this saved her the embarrassment of taking off her tights in front of colleagues and his team.

His fingers curled around the top of her knee and his other hand moved to prod and assess the joint, wincing each time it made (Y/n) lean back or twitch and groan.

"Close your eyes mi amor."

She did as instructed, bracing both hands down beside her on the stage floor and she tilted her head back and kept her eyes tightly closed. She didn't want to see Eddie put the joint back into place and she didn't want to know when he was about to do it. The blood pulsed through her ears so loudly it was deafening and her breath held deep in her lungs when Eddie's hand moved to get a good grip on her lower leg.

A tortured scream pierced the air, almost as deafening as the horrid click that told Eddie he had put the joint back into place. His fingers dug into her thigh and he kept tight hold of her lower leg, keeping her leg resting over his lap when her leg started to jerk and tremble.

"Shh, all done. All done, I'm sorry baby." Reaching his hands out, Eddie hooked an arm around (Y/n)'s waist and shuffled her across the floor until she was sat level with his thighs and he carefully eased her leg back onto the floor. His arms coiled around her and reeled her into his chest so he could kiss the top of her head.

He looked down in the bag by his side before he looked across at Hen who was just finishing up an assessment on one of the other girls.

"Hen, do you have some morphine in your bag?"

She fished out a packaged needle of morphine and slid it across the stage towards him. Eddie tore the packet open with his teeth and looked down at (Y/n) before he pressed the needle into her thigh.

"That'll help with the pain, baby. Any more injuries I should know about?" His hand moved up and down her arm while his lips went back to kissing the top of her head.

"Just sickness," (Y/n) kept her eyes closed and buried her face into Eddie's chest, scrunching his shirt up in her grasp. The pain had given her a horrid headache and now she felt like she was going to throw up. But other than that, she didn't have any other injuries. Thankfully.

"Let's get you in the ambulance then."

Eddie glanced his eyes around the stage, seeing that Evan was finishing up patching up Lia who had gotten away with cuts and bruises and Evan talking her ear off. Hen and Bobby were waiting with two other girls who needed assessing in a hospital. And Chimney had one of the men on the gurney who had broken his ankle and jammed up his shoulder and he was on his way backstage.

It would be easier to go backstage past the dressing rooms and get out to the truck that way than go back past the crowds and let everyone be oogled at.

"Dispatch, this is Captain Nash. How far out are those further to ambulances? We look to need a third one sent our way."

"Y-you won't leave me, will you?" (Y/n) couldn't bring herself to pull away from Eddie's chest. Her face stayed tucked into the middle of his chest, her nose squashed against the buttons as she panted through his shirt and tried to breathe in his scent.

She didn't want another team coming over and trying to take her away from Eddie. She didn't want Eddie to have to go back in the truck and leave her with strangers.

"I'm not going anywhere without you, mi amor." He smiled into her hair before he turned to look at Bobby over his shoulder. "Cancel that last ambulance, (Y/n) can ride in the truck with us."

Eddie saw no point waiting around for another ambulance to be redirected their way which would take a further ten minutes or longer. They could send the two other dances in the two ambulances that were on their way. And Eddie could carry his wife and take her in the truck with them. Eddie was going down to the hospital anyway, he wasn't straying far from his wife and she needed an X-ray and an assessment.

(Y/n) kept her arms hooked around Eddie's neck as his hands moved down to her hips. He carefully pulled her up with him and stayed on her left side to prop her up. She had her knee bent and her foot held just above the floor, unable to put it down as it added pressure and agony onto her knee.

His hand squeezed her hip every now and then and his other hand moved to cup her arm that was looped around his neck. Eddie let his eyes dart across to Evan who was packing up his bag and moved to stand beside them.

"Right this way, Mrs Diaz."

(Y/n) had never been in a fire truck before.

***

Leaning her head to the side, (Y/n) pressed her face into Eddie's abdomen and curled her arm around his back, keeping him close. She let her eyes fall closed and found herself smiling when she felt his hand rest on her neck with his thumb brushing up and down across the side of her jaw.

She was ready to go home. The morphine had worked to take away the throbbing edge in her knee and had dulled down her headache, but now she felt dizzy and tired and spaced. She wanted to go curl up in bed and try to get some sleep.

For the next few weeks, (Y/n) wouldn't be doing very much. She wouldn't be training or getting up early for rehearsals or going down to the theatre. Her time would be spent trying to push herself into recouperating and playing video games with Chris.

Eddie leaned down and kissed the top of (Y/n)'s head before he drained the last of the rather bland coffee he'd got from the machine in the hall.

"How you feeling?" He murmured quietly while he set down his cup and placed his hand in his pocket.

The team had dropped them off along with their other casualty and whenever they were ready to leave, Eddie just needed to give the team a call. Bobby had cleared it so Eddie could take (Y/n) home, his shift was officially over and he had the next few days off to be home with her and Chris.

"Ready for bed." Her response made Eddie smile and he hummed, darting his eyes over to the door when it opened.

The doctor they'd seen when they arrived walked into the room, a calm smile on her face and a file in her hand which Eddie guessed was the X-ray results. (Y/n) had had both her knee and her chest X-rayed when they got to the hospital, as well as having some bloods taken just to be on the safe side.

As long as the breaks weren't damaging or dangerous, all (Y/n) would need would be to have her chest bandaged and they could go home. Her knee was already in a foam brace since Eddie had saved the doctor a job and put it back in place.

"How are we in here?"

"Tired." (Y/n) kept her arm latched around Eddie's lower back and stayed leaning into his torso with a tepid smile. She liked the feeling of Eddie's fingers running up and down the side of her neck before his hand moved to rest on her shoulder instead.

"Well, I've taken a look at your X-rays. The fourth and fifth ribs are broken, clean breaks though not fractures which is a good thing. In three weeks I'd like you to come back just to check they are healing properly. And your knee will heal within a week or two, no lasting damage there."

That was some good news. (Y/n) didn't want fractured bones, they were harder to heal and didn't always repair themselves in the right way. At least a clean break was easier for her body to repair. Not that she wanted them to be broken, but she knew from the moment Eddie assessed her that they had definitely snapped in some way. This just cemented the fact that she wasn't going back to work anytime soon.

"Can I take her home?" Eddie kept his hand tucked into his pocket while he looked over at the doctor. That was all good news and he couldn't see a reason why they couldn't leave now.

"Well, the nurse took a blood sample on arrival, just to rule out any infections and I had to run a further test when I got the results back."

(Y/n) could feel her face falling and her teeth sunk down into her lower lip as she glanced up at Eddie. Somehow, that didn't sound very good. The doctor's smile wasn't calming compared to what she had just said. Was something wrong? (Y/n) felt fine. She had been fine until the fall tonight, that was the only reason she was here. Nothing else was wrong with her apart from her knee and her broken ribs.

She could feel Eddie's hand tightening on her shoulder and he tensed up beside her as his brows furrowed. What did that mean?

"It seems you're pregnant. Congratulations."

(Y/n)'s jaw loosened but she couldn't find any words.

Pregnant. They were going to have a baby. Now she well and truly couldn't return to work. Once her ribs and her knee were healed, she wouldn't have long before she started to show and she wouldn't be able to perform once that happened. She would have to switch to helping direct the shows and give the dancers their cues and pointers rather than joining in the performance.

When she tilted her head up to glance up at Eddie, her parted lips formed into a smile when she saw the way he was looking down at her. His eyes looked brighter and he was already grinning down at her, trying to bite his lip to stop his smile from spreading so wide.

His hand left her shoulder and moved round to cup her chin and he leaned down, brushing his nose against hers before he captured her lips in a kiss.

His fingers danced across her cheek and (Y/n) reached up to hold his wrist as she grinned against his touch. They hadn't exactly been trying, but this was a very welcomed surprise. They were going to have a baby. Chris was going to have a brother or sister.

"I guess we should be happy tonight wasn't opening night, huh?" Eddie mumbled quietly against her lips, barely pulling back enough to speak before he devoured her lips again.

At least (Y/n) had already had two weeks worth of performing this new play. It wasn't opening night that had gone horribly wrong and she had had the chance to perform as Juliet. Now she was going to have to take a step back. Maybe she could get away with one or two more performances before she had to stop when her bump started to show.

"Hm. So you're happy?"

"Are you kidding? Wait 'til I tell the team."

#eddie diaz imagine #eddie diaz x reader #eddie x reader #eddie diaz #imagine #911 imagine #pregnant! reader #evan buckley #bobby nash

[bucktommys]

‘plz let me know if u want me to make a p2 to this list because i could keep going’ - i’m not the same anon BUT as someone who just started the bodyguard fic thanks to your rec, please do!!! (if its not a bother ofc!)

omg of course, never a bother !!! (also isnt it so good, now i feel like i need a reread). again these are all around 40k+ !

ripples all the way down by @fcntasmas - buddie fic of all time? buddie fic of all time. canon compliant where buck goes on dates and christopher tries to set his dads together using penguin philosophy. its SO cute and good i wish i could reread it for the first time again

far away (from the one i love) by @woodchoc-magnum - again cannot recommend this writer enough, they too have a treasure trove of longer fics that are all excellent. this one is the one i read most recently, basically buck goes with taylor to chicago and leaves the 118 and eddie goes on a trip to get him back. SAUR good and sweet

maybe we'll make something by @buckactuallys - buckley-diaz family roadtrip fic ! ugh this one was SO sweet, i read it all in one sitting and just smiled the whole way through. so tender and soft and the pining is off the CHARTS. so so good.

to look and be seen by @princessfbi - royalty x bodyguard au!!!!! need i say any more. buck is the prince of england going to stay with his godfather bobby aka potus and eddie is his longsuffering bodyguard. oh this was SUCH fun, cannot recommend enough

to be found by @zainclaw - this is potentially my favourite buddie fic of all time, i recommend it to everyone but its SO good. its a werewolf au and just *chefs kiss* do yourself a favour and read this absolutely immediately (plus the author semi-recently released a lil follow up and its SO cute omg)

this could be our year; don't let go of my hand by @homerforsure - cannot adequately express how good this fic is. its so funny and creative and clever and also tense and suspenseful and angsty and its SO good. basically the 118 get sponsored by an eccentric fashion designer and attend a masquerade where then Shit Goes Down. absolutely top notch

a bleeding heart on a silver screen by @hoediaz - not a mia rec list unless i honk about this one. buddie actors au. just read it its incredible

in a week by @buttercupbuck - oh this one !! this one!!!! basically an au where instead of the 118 eddie joins the us forest service except the rest of 118 are there. its just such a beautiful tender fic and i adore it so impossibly

#ask #anonymous #fic rec #fic rec list #i acc love making these so much remembering all my old faves

[911onabc]

The one out on the water

teen & up | evan "buck" buckley/eddie diaz | 902 words

summary: On their honeymoon, Buck and Eddie try kayaking. Eddie doesn’t really want to paddle. He finds a way around this problem.

----------------------------

“Hey honey,” Buck called out from the back of the kayak as he pulled his paddle out of the water. “Are you planning on, I don’t know, paddling? ”

Once Buck stopped paddling, they were mostly just floating in the open ocean in a plastic open-top kayak.

Eddie had stopped paddling a minute or so after they had been pushed off the beach, instead leaning back and letting Buck do all the work from the back seat. After all, Eddie figured, they were on vacation. 

Eddie wasn’t exactly sure what had come over him, but the second they boarded the plane the morning after their wedding, all he wanted to do was lounge. And have sex with his husband.

Because, really–wasn’t that the whole point of a honeymoon?

All of this meant that by the time they made it down to the beach the second morning of their trip, it was almost noon. 

Buck, of course, still had energy. So when a resort employee approached them with a laminated picture of a kayak and a special low price of ten dollars, Buck agreed for the both of them before Eddie could even open his mouth to protest. 

So, if this wasn’t even his idea, why should Eddie have to paddle? 

“I don’t need to paddle,” Eddie smirked. “You seem perfectly capable of doing it alone.”

“Eddie, come on, if you don’t paddle my core is gonna get all sore.” Buck complained. 

“Your core?” Eddie asked, glancing back at him. “What about your arms? Or shoulders?”

“Really, most of the work should be coming from your core,” Buck explained. “And legs. Kayaking should be a full-body activity.”

“I didn’t even know that,” Eddie hummed, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “So really, I shouldn’t be paddling. I could hurt myself.”

“I think you could handle it,” Buck deadpanned, placing his paddle in the water again, and they started moving. “Eddie, come on! ”

Instead of helping Buck out, Eddie leaned back further in his seat, taking a hand to rub Buck’s calf behind him. 

“But you’re doing such a good job, baby.” Eddie said, his voice sickly sweet.

“Eddie–” Buck stopped, pulling his paddle out of the water again and letting the boat slowed to a halt.

“You think you can make it all the way down the beach and the back on your own?” Eddie asked. 

“I mean,” Buck scoffed, his voice uneven. “Obviously I could. I would just prefer not to. Isn’t the point of being married that we help each other?”

“I just think you’re so strong,” Eddie smiled back at him, ignoring the marriage comment. “You don’t really need my help, do you?”

“Are you really trying that?” Buck glared at him. 

“I don’t know,” Eddie mused. “Is it working?”

Instead of answering, Buck just let out a long sigh and put the paddle back in the water. As they started to move, Eddie got comfortable, rubbing his hand up and down Buck’s leg.

“Look at you go,” Eddie said, basking in the warm sunlight. “Doing all the work. What a good boy.”

Buck sighed, like he was trying to sound annoyed. Only he wasn’t. Annoyed, that is. Buck was something else entirely. 

Really, Eddie was doing both of them a service by refusing to pick up his paddle. 

“You know,” Eddie kept talking. “I’m so lucky to have such a big, strong, husband who can carry all of my weight. I bet you could go ever faster, too.”

“Hmfph.” Buck let out, not quite an approval but at least an acknowledgment. He started paddling a little harder, and the boat slid through the water faster than before. 

“Honestly,” Eddie said, taking the permission to go a little further. “You’re so good for me. So good at taking care of me. I can’t wait to get back to the hotel room and lie back on the fresh sheets so you can put your big strong hands inside of me, and–”

“Eddie!” Buck all but hissed, cutting him off and stopping the boat again. “We’re outside .”

“We’re on the ocean,” Eddie scoffed. “The closest people are like, at least a hundred feet away.”

“But we’re heading towards the shore, where I’m going to have to get up,” Buck stressed. “On a crowded beach. Where people can see me.”

Eddie, of course, shone with pride. He loved how easily Buck could become undone with just his words. He also didn’t mind the idea of everyone on the beach finding that out. 

But, Buck obviously did. And Eddie took pity on his husband. 

“Hmm,” Eddie hummed. “Well, I guess you better paddle me around for a little longer until you calm down a little. It’s kind of relaxing, actually.”

“Not for me,” Buck whined. “ Come on, you’re not gonna help at all?”

“I was helping,” Eddie argued. “I was giving you very nice encouragement.”

Buck sighed, but put his paddle back in the water and they started moving again. 

“I could get used to being carried around like this for the rest of our lives.” Eddie admitted, tossing one of his feet over the edge of the kayak to dip his toes in the cool water. 

“Yeah, of course you could,” Buck mumbled. “Passenger princess.”

Really, it only stung a little bit. And Eddie couldn’t even argue. Because, as much as knew Buck inside and out–

Buck knew Eddie just as well.

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie fic #buddie fluff #one word prompts #911 fic #911 #911 fox #911 abc #writing tag

[cinematics123]

LAFD chief: we are here to commend firefighter Eddie Diaz for his service. He was top of his class, top of the service rankings…. You just cannot top Eddie Diaz. Thank you for your service.

Buck (quietly to Hen): I topped him two nights ago. He wants me to come by again tonight.

#let Eddie be gay #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #911 fox #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #buddie 911 #evan buck buckely #911 #911 abc #your honor they are clearly in love

[sarahsmi13s]

Chasing Ghosts

whumptober day 23: begging / forced to watch

pairing: eddie diaz x reader (captain america!au)

characters: eddie diaz, y/n barnes, evan buckley, henrietta wilson (mentioned), chris diaz, christopher (oc from eddie's past)

warnings: 18+ MDNI, language, superhero au, death, falling, crying, fight scenes, flashbacks, please let me know if I missed any

word count: ~2.3k

a/n: this is for whumptober! please please please proceed with caution and use discretion, protect your peace

also if you are on the whump taglist but are not familiar with a character, you can skip it will not hurt my feelings!

i'm so so sorry for how late this is

whumptober 2023 masterlist

summary: ghosts haunt everyone, they follow you and they taunt you with things that could have been. they chase you through your own mind... but what will you find if you chase them back?

Eddie slipped his hand into his pockets as he walked through the museum, the Captain America exhibit having been added recently. 

He had just gotten into a heated discussion with Director Grant and needed to take a breather. So he went to the museum to see what his exhibit had to offer.

He looked around and walked past a display with a narrator and stopped to hear what it was saying. 

“Best friends since childhood, Y/N Barnes and Eddie Diaz were inseparable on school yard and battlefield. Barnes was the only Howling Commando to give her life in service of her country. She fought to be by Eddie’s side, not backing down because of her gender.”

Eddie sighed, the memories flooding back as he continued to walk through the exhibit. He made it to the movie room where Christopher, the very friend he named his only son after, had been interviewed after he had gone in the ice.

“Oh Y/N? Yeah, she was a complete fireball. Ambitious, strong, stubborn. Her and Eddie, they… they were a duo. Her death was… it was felt across the entire squadron. But Eddie took it the hardest… Y/N was his best friend. She had fought Eddie about going on the mission, claiming that he needed the best backup the Army could offer and that she was it.” Christopher sighed, “She fought alongside him from beginning to end. She was the best of us.”

Eddie cleared his throat, his emotions and memories getting the better of him.

He remembers the day he lost you, the image burned in his brain. Everything he should’ve done or said spinning like a broken record in his mind…

Eddie wanted to tell you that you were crazy, walking along the top of that moving train. That you were insane from the very beginning when you followed him into the war. But he knows you would have just laughed in his face.

He had watched you go toe to toe with his superior even after you had gotten taken when you snuck onto the front lines with Christopher. Eddie had found you on a lab table, strapped down and confused, but it didn’t surprise him when you attempted to fight alongside him as you escaped together.

You were his friend, his best friend. You had stuck by his side since day one.

Which is why you followed him into the fire without hesitation.

He wondered if you had regretted that in your final moments…

“Hey, Y/N… I know it’s been awhile..” Eddie said as he sat down in front of your headstone. 

He sighed, hanging his head between his knees as he rested his arms on them. The white marble in front of him was the only thing he had left of you, that and the copy of your dog tags he managed to find. The casket in the ground below him was empty because even after the war, your body was never recovered. So he had to take what he could get…

“I’ve never forgotten you… I don’t think it’s possible to forget you, not after everything we went through.” 

He sniffled a little and rubbed his nose. “Chris just turned three, he’s um he’s great. Such a strong kid, doesn’t let anything get in his way,” Eddie chuckled, his voice thick with emotion. “Sound familiar?” He wiped his face, “God.. I miss you so much.” 

Eddie sniffled, reaching into his shirt to pull your tags out and over his head. He sighed and threaded the chain around his fingers, his eyes closing as he brought the indented plate to his lips and held it there as memories played in the darkness behind his lids.

Eddie led the way into the cabin of the train. You were on his six, protecting his back as you both made note of the multitude of weapons that were being transported by Hydra.

The door at the end of the cabin was open and you were both making your way towards it.

Eddie led the way, crossing the threshold to the other car while you made sure you had no surprise guests show up.

Just as you go to cross the threshold yourself both doors slide shut.

Eddie watched the panic fill your eyes, as dread made his stomach drop, before you turned and started to fire your weapon.

“Shit…”

Behind him he heard a high pitched sound and he turned around to see a man wearing one of the weapons.

In a knee jerk reaction, Eddie fired his weapon before rolling out of the way when the other man shot at him.

He stayed behind his cover, peeking up to fire when he could.

Eddie needed to be strategic and careful. He could hear you in your firefight behind him and he needed to get to you to help.

He couldn’t afford to make a mistake.

Eddie waited to hear the high pitched recharging sound before making his move.

Once the ringing filled the cabin, Eddie ran out from behind his cover, using his shield for protection as he charged the man. Before he could take a swing, the man fired again. But he reacted fast and jumped up, grabbing a bar and tucking his feet in. 

After the man fired, Eddie gathered momentum and kicked the man square in the chest, knocking him to the ground. When the man tried to sit up, Eddie quickly struck him with his shield to knock him out.

He could still hear gunshots but he could tell that you had switched from your rifle to your handgun. He had to get to you fast, you didn’t have enough ammunition in your handgun to last much longer if your rifle was empty already.

There was no way to open the door from the inside, so he grabbed the Hydra weapon and fired it at the door – blasting it off its hinges.

Eddie sprinted over and looked in the window. He could see you crouched behind crates, dodging bullets as you tried to fire back.

His stomach felt like it was twenty pounds as he watched your gun lock because it was empty.

Quickly, he checked his own gun before opening the door. 

The movement and sound caught your attention and you looked at Eddie as he held his gun up before tossing it to you as you ditched your useless one.

Once it was secure and you were ready, Eddie charged forward with his shield up and pushed a weapon’s case towards the hiding enemy, putting him in your crosshairs and allowing you to actually shoot him this time.

You both took deep breaths as you walked towards each other.

“I had him on the ropes,” you said as you looked up at Eddie. He chuckled and looked down at you, relieved that you were alright, “I know you did.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, “Whatev-”

You were cut off by a high pitched noise and you watch Eddie’s face drop before he’s pushing you behind him. 

“Get down!”

You drop to the ground as the man fires and the energy is ricocheted off of Eddie's shield, blasting a hole in the side of the train.

The force had knocked Eddie back, leaving you exposed with the shield on the ground. 

When the high pitched noise hit your ears again, you picked up the shield and stood, firing your weapon back.

However, before you could hit him he shot at you and Eddie watched in horror as the force of the energy ball hit the vibranium and sent you flying out of the hole in the side of the train.

He rushed to his shield, picking it up by the strap and launching it at the enemy. 

Wasting no time after that, he ripped his helmet off and ran to the side of the train. “Y/N!”

You were hanging on to a handlebar, your grip coming and going as the train moved and jostled you.

Eddie knew that due to the damage that bar couldn’t hold your weight for very long. So he did the first thing that came to mind. He would come to you.

He stepped out onto the other railing, despite it probably not being able to hold his weight either. But he had to try.

He watched with anxiety as you made attempts to get closer to him, even as the bar groaned under the pressure. “Hang on!” He shouted, just wanting you to stop moving so he could get to you.

Eddie swiftly, but carefully, made his way to you, getting as close as he could before reaching his hand out. “Grab my hand!”

You looked at him, your eyes filled with fear but you trusted him to get you to safety. So, you reached for his hand.

But as you did, the metal groaned and creaked again before finally snapping.

“No!”

Eddie sobbed as he remembered your face as you plummeted into the ravine. You were terrified, falling hundreds of feet down to nothing but snow and rocks. 

And all he could do was watch.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry!” 

He knew he looked pathetic, sitting there in front of a headstone, sobbing and apologizing to a ghost. 

He looked just as pathetic now as he did when Christopher found him in that bar after he learned your body couldn’t be recovered. 

Eddie had sat there, throwing back whiskey for hours begging God to erase your horrified scream from his memory. He begged to forget the look on your face. He begged to just forget. Even if it was only for a little while. 

“Eddie?” 

Inhaling sharply, Eddie slipped your tags back over his head and wiped his face before standing and facing his friend.

“Is he safe?” 

Buck nodded, “Chris is safe. He’s with Howie and Maddie until this all blows over, he’s safe.” Eddie sniffled and nodded, putting his hands on his hips, “Good, that’s good.” 

“You up for this Eddie?” Buck asked, sensing his friend's nerves. But Eddie nodded immediately, “After SHIELD almost tried to kill us and now we’re bringing Hen into this. We need to finish this.” He straightened up and walked past Buck towards the car. 

“Let’s go catch a ghost.”

Eddie really should have expected this to happen. 

What else would happen when you kidnapped one of the Hydra moles with the most intel other than for Hydra to practically put a bounty on your head? 

Now the mole was dead and Eddie, Buck, and Hen were all fighting to survive against Hydra and their secret weapon.

Eddie had caught up with her when she was aiming towards where Buck had been hiding after she shot him in the shoulder. 

He flanked her right, running towards her, shield up and ready to hit her. She was faster and reared back to punch him, but he had his shield up and her metal fist collided with the vibranium. 

She pushed his shield aside and kicked him off the top of the car, immediately shooting at him before rolling off the car.

Eddie took that opportunity to roll out of the way, ducking behind the car as she fired at him.

When the gunshots stopped because she ran out of ammo, he jumped over the car and kicked the gun out of her hand. She spun with the force of the kick, rolling on the ground to put distance between them as she unholstered her handgun and fired at him from a kneeling position.

Eddie ran at her, keeping his shield up until the last second when he moved to bring it down on her. But with his midsection now exposed, she took the opportunity to tackle him, using his own momentum against him to knock him onto his back and knocking the shield off of his arm.

She rolled off of him, using her metal hand to slow down. She pulled her knife out but he was already up and charging at her by the time she was standing. So, she charged at him.

Once they were close enough, she slashed at his midsection and legs in order to shield her own.

But Eddie was a quick learner and he knew that because of the height and size difference she had to stick to his center mass when she was up close or else he would get the upper hand. All he had to do was force her to expose her weak points and to make a mistake.

And he did.

He deflected the shots at his stomach and chest, forcing her to aim for his face.

As he dodged and parried her hands, he saw an opening and swung for her face, hitting her on the cheek. He took the chance and spun to give her a firm kick to the chest, sending her flying back into the side of a van.

Eddie quickly got his shield and charged at her again, hoping to actually land a powerful enough hit. 

But she had shook off her disorientation and waited until he was close enough to roll out of the way. 

However, she was out of ammo, so distance fighting was not an option anymore. She had to get up close and personal. 

She unsheathed her other knife and charged Eddie as he turned around.  

He brought his shield up just in time to deflect her. She tossed the knife to her other hand and slashed lower, forcing Eddie to expose his face and giving her the chance to land a punch. 

Eddie spun with the momentum, switching his shield to his other arm and quickly deflecting the kick flying towards him. He dodged the right handed knife strike and stayed down for the metal handed swing.

Reacting quickly, he grabbed her left wrist and struck her bicep with his shield, denting the metal. He stayed there for a second before removing it and striking her in the face, discombobulating her. He spun, getting his back to hers before he grabbed her by the face and threw her over his shoulder.

She rolled into a standing position when she hit the ground, the mask that was covering her face falling to the pavement.

Eddie stayed crouched, ready incase she turned and charged at him again.

But when she did turn to face him, all of his defenses dropped and he stood up straight as he took deep breaths

“Y/N?”

taglist: @bradleybeachbabe @mamachasesmayhem @kmc1989 @lovinglyeternal @horseshoegirl @hangmansgbaby @fanboyswhore9 @nightowlalltheway @86laura11 @els-marvelvsp @valmare @startrekfangirl2233 @malindacath @nyx2021 @chaosofmanyfandoms

hi, if you're seeing this and are currently not on the taglist and would like to be please fill out the taglist form -> whumptober taglist

i can not stress this enough, but whumptober can have some very serious and heavy topics and i want to make sure i am doing my part as an author to prepare my readers for what they are about to experience and that includes not only warnings above but my taglists as well

so if you want to be added check out the masterlist and read that carefully and fill out the form -> whumptober 2023

#vinny's whumptober #vinny's rainy day records #whumptober #whumptober 2023 #ailesswhumptober2023 #whumptober day 23 #eddie diaz 911 #911 whump #eddie diaz whump #eddie diaz x reader #ca!eddie diaz #marvel au #whump angst #sarahsmi13s

[buddie-buddie]

we will find a way (through the dark)

9.2k - t - ao3 In which President Evan Buckley is kidnapped and Secret Service Agent Eddie Diaz falls apart.

This whole Wyoming trip was a bad idea. Eddie had said as much when the travel plans first crossed his desk. Buck, to his credit, had agreed. Neither one of them seemed to understand why a speech at an hour-long ceremony warranted a three-day trip, but that ship had apparently long since sailed.

“What’s there to do in Wyoming anyway?” Buck had asked one of his advisors. “Can’t I just fly in for the ceremony and leave as soon as it’s over?” 

Eddie thought that was a brilliant idea. The less time they had to spend away from the White House– the less time they had to spend in Wyoming, of all places– the better. 

Unfortunately, Buck’s team was prepared with an answer, quickly launching into some long-winded explanation full of Washington jargon like strategic and good faith and precedent-setting. It was buzzword salad, as far as Eddie was concerned. 

The way Buck’s eyes seemed to glaze over as they spoke indicated he felt the same. 

Buck going anywhere other than the White House or Camp David is already less than ideal, and heading to some rural area of Wyoming, where there’s bad reception, limited resources, and guns outnumber people 4:1 is pretty much Eddie’s personal hell. 

Now that they’re here, his feelings haven’t exactly changed. His team is incredible, as is the entirety of the Secret Service. They’ve been hard at work clearing buildings, mapping travel routes, surveilling, and filling the gaps left by the less-than ideal amount of local law enforcement support they’ve been provided. 

They’ve been here for a day and a half now, and while Eddie still isn’t feeling great about the trip, he’s no longer walking around with “resting bitch face so severe it might get stuck that way,” as Buck had so lovingly pointed out when Air Force One had first landed. 

Tensions had managed to grow since their arrival, which Eddie knew could be attributed to Buck’s overall frustration with this trip in the first place. A frustration Eddie shared, tenfold. 

Buck was exhausted after a particularly busy week, spread thinner than he had been in recent memory. Thinner than Eddie thought possible. And yet, somehow, even after all these years, Buck still manages to surprise him. 

The night before they were set to leave Washington, Eddie had brought up the idea of postponing the trip. It had been a long, draining week and to add a few days of travel on top of it felt like a cruel and unusual punishment, at least as far as Eddie was concerned. It physically pained him to see Buck so stressed, exhaustion materializing in the bags under his eyes, in the dark circles that cast an unwelcome shadow across his face. 

When Buck didn’t go for that, Eddie suggested shortening it to one day instead of three. He was met with protest, insistence that he’d rather go and be miserable than change his plans and disappoint his constituents. Buck had stopped for a minute, his half-packed suitcase in front of him, and promised that when they got home, he’d stay in bed for a whole day. 

“I’ll allow it,” Eddie had said, wrapping his arms around Buck from behind and dropping a kiss to his temple. 

“I have one condition,” Buck said, relaxing into Eddie’s arms, melting into his touch. 

“Let’s hear it,” Eddie murmured against Buck’s ear.  

“You,” Buck said, pausing and tipping his head back in an attempt to look at Eddie. “Have to stay in bed with me.” 

Eddie grinned. He couldn’t help but squeeze Buck a little tighter, fondness unfurling in his chest. “Deal.”

“Yeah?”

Eddie nodded, turning Buck so they were pressed chest to chest, their foreheads resting against one another. “Yeah,” Eddie murmured, stealing a proper kiss. 

-

The first day of the trip goes according to plan. Buck is exhausted, and Eddie can tell he’s losing steam towards the end of the day, but he still manages to keep a warm smile on his face until they make it back to the hotel room. Eddie follows him inside, locking the door behind them as Buck heaves a sigh and sits on the edge of the bed. 

“You did well today,” Eddie says, toeing off his shoes and shrugging out of his suit jacket before crossing the room towards the bed. 

“I– I feel like you guys are smothering me.” Buck’s reply seems to startle both of them. 

Eddie tries not to take it personally. It’s not his fault there are fewer police officers in the entire state of Wyoming than there were students in his high school! Usually when they travel, local police come in to support the Secret Service. The small police population out here has meant fewer support officers than they’re used to. It left Eddie and his team feeling a little stressed, and they had come to the decision that the best way to fill the gaps and compensate for the change in routine was to increase the presence of Buck’s personal detail. 

Instead of two agents shadowing him, they bumped it to three. Instead of four agents surrounding him in open air, they’ve had six. 

Frankly, Eddie isn’t a huge fan of the change in routine, either. He’s been on edge since the second they got here. But if it means keeping Buck safe, he’ll adopt whatever changes are necessary. He might not like it, might spend all day longing for the status quo, but he’ll do it. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do if it meant keeping Buck safe. Nothing . 

“I’m sorry,” Buck and Eddie say at the same time. 

“No– no, Eddie. I’m sorry,” Buck insists, his eyes wide and searching as he holds Eddie’s gaze. “I– I don’t know where that came from. I just–” 

Eddie sits down beside him. Their knees brush, and the tension in the air dissolves immediately. “You don’t ever have to be sorry for telling me the truth,” Eddie tells him. “I’m sorry that we had to change your detail. I don’t like it any more than you do.”

“There’s nothing here but open air and cows,” Buck grumbles, loosening his tie and pulling it over his head with a sigh. “Can’t we decrease it?” 

Eddie shakes his head. Annoying as it is, it’ll be a cold day in hell when he does anything that could potentially put Buck in danger. “No, baby. I’m sorry.”

Buck makes a noise halfway between a groan and a whine, flopping back onto the mattress. Eddie sighs, taking comfort in knowing that even as tired as he is, Buck hasn’t lost his personality. 

“We just have to get through another day and a half. Not even. First thing Wednesday morning, we’re on the way home,” Eddie reminds him. “And then I believe there’s a deal involving a bed and a locked door that’ll need your attention.” 

-

The following afternoon is Buck’s big speech, the whole reason for the trip in the first place. He spends 15 minutes speaking at a ceremony to honor the 100th birthday of a national park that Eddie isn’t convinced he himself had ever heard of before learning of these travel plans. As Eddie expected, Buck absolutely crushes his speech, complete with a standing ovation before he waves goodbye and heads backstage to meet up with his team. 

“Nice work,” Maddie says, beaming as Buck makes his way down the stairs, trailed by Eddie, Bobby, Chim, and Hen. He strides over to where she’s waiting with a few of his advisors and a flock of additional Secret Service agents. 

Buck lets out a deep breath, relief and gratitude shining in his eyes as he thanks her. “Now what?” he asks, accepting the bottle of water Eddie passes him with a small smile. 

“Now, you have to go get changed into something more appropriate for skeet shooting with the governor,” Maddie tells him. 

She manages to keep the grin off her face, but Chim fails, chuckling as he claps Buck on the back. “Now this, I can’t wait to see.” 

It’s a twenty minute ride in the motorcade to the rifle club, where Buck is ushered into a sitting room and promised that the governor will be with him shortly. He takes a seat in one of the oversized leather chairs, directly beneath a taxidermy buck. 

“It’s Buck-ception,” Chimney muses. Eddie grins, though it may have less to do with Chim’s bad joke and more to do with the horrified look on Buck’s face as he turns his head and sees the deer mounted directly above him.

“I miss Washington,” Buck grumbles. 

Eddie doesn’t blame him. 

Washington has the Oval Office, which is free of dead animals hanging on the walls. Washington has four times more law enforcement officers in its 70 square miles than Wyoming does in its nearly 100,000. Washington has Christopher. Washington has the Residence. Washington has their bed–– God, Eddie misses their bed. 

Washington has their best memories and some of their worst ones too, but it’s home. And while Eddie’s never felt homesick when Buck’s in reach, he finds himself longing for the city just as much as Buck is. 

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because the governor is striding into the sitting room and Buck is rising to his feet to shake the man’s hand. 

“Mr. President.”

“Mr. Governor,” Buck says with a warm smile. Eddie remains in awe of him– how even when he’s somewhere he doesn’t want to be, doing something he doesn’t want to do, Buck still manages to be so friendly, so genuine. He still manages to share the best parts of himself.  “Thanks for having me.”

The governor returns Buck’s smile. “Pleasure’s mine.” He leads Buck down a hallway to a private locker room, Eddie, Bobby, and Chim trailing behind them alongside the Governor’s security. The Governor motions for Buck to use the room on the left before heading into the room on the right himself.

Chim stands to the left of the door while Bobby walks through the room, returning a moment later with a nod to signal that it’s empty and safe for Buck to enter. He steps into position, standing on the right hand side of the door as Eddie moves to follow Buck inside. 

“I think I can handle this by myself, guys.” Buck motions to the bag in his hand. Eddie tries not to take it personally. He knows Buck is feeling overwhelmed. He said as much last night. And yet, there’s still a pang of rejection at Buck’s words. But he shoves it down, nods, and steps to the side, as much as he hates the idea of Buck being out of their sight. 

But it’s only for a minute. They’re in a building that’s crawling with agents, and this is a private room– Eddie remembers as much from when he saw the building’s plans during his briefing this morning. There are no exterior doors, no doors that connect to other rooms. Just a small changing area connected to a private bathroom. And Buck is only getting changed out of his suit and into whatever sort of skeet shooting attire Maddie put into the bag that’s slung across his shoulder. 

He’ll only be a minute. 

The Governor reappears a few minutes later, his own suit traded for a flannel shirt and a dark khaki vest with matching pants tucked into calf-high boots.

Eddie catches the way Chim’s eyes light up, already anticipating Buck’s getup. He shoots him a look, silently begging him to behave. 

They wait for another minute before Eddie starts to get antsy. He has no idea what could possibly be taking Buck so long. He’s pretty efficient when he gets dressed in the morning, only slowing down to swap lazy kisses with Eddie as they move around the walk-in closet at the same time. That and tying his tie. But Eddie’s out here in the hallway and he’s hard pressed to believe Maddie would pack him a necktie for an afternoon at the rifle club. 

Something must be wrong. 

Eddie steps forward, knocking on the door. “Mr. President, all good?” He waits with bated breath for Buck’s answer, only it doesn’t come. 

“Mr. President?” Eddie tries again, more insistent this time. Again, no response. 

He looks between Chim, Bobby, the Governor, and the two state troopers trailing the Governor, concern written across all five of their faces. 

Fuck. 

Eddie doesn’t waste another second. 

The door is unlocked, but there’s something blocking it. He’s able to twist the knob and push it open, but it only goes a few inches before he’s met with resistance. He slams his shoulder into the door, using all of his weight to push it open far enough that he can make it through. 

A leather-trimmed bench has been dragged over from the middle of the changing area, if the dents in the carpet are any indication of where it once sat. It was shoved in front of the door, clearly meant to slow down anyone trying to make their way inside. Buck’s suit jacket is in a pile on the floor, just beside his dress pants and shoes. His bag lays sideways on the floor, a pair of olive green pants hanging out of the opening. 

His white button-down is in the middle of the floor, stained red with what can only be blood. 

There’s a lot of blood. Too much blood. 

A trail of it starting in the middle of the room, leading out through a wide-open window. 

Shit. 

There are bloody footprints on the carpet. Three pairs in the middle of the floor – two made by shoes and one made by bare feet. By the window, there are only two pairs. Both shoes. They dragged him out. 

The realization burns in Eddie’s chest, nearly breaks him. They dragged him out. 

How did they all miss this? How did none of them hear it? Eddie thinks he might be sick.

Behind him, he hears Bobby radioing in a mayday and calling for a total lockdown. He hears boots in the hallway, voices echoing in his earpiece. The Governor’s saying something, the state troopers, too.

But he can’t focus on any of that. Not when Buck is gone. 

No, not gone. 

Taken. 

The worst of it is the tiny black rectangle in the corner of the room. Buck’s panic button. Eddie beelines toward it, dropping down to get a better look. It’s still intact, which has Eddie trying to wrap his head around why Buck didn’t hit it– it must’ve been in his hand at some point if it made it all the way out of his pocket and across the room. Why didn’t he hit it?

He’s careful not to put any fingerprints on it, pulling a pen out of the inside pocket of his suit jacket and using it to flip the thing over. He’s not ready for the sight of the bloody fingerprint, just to the left of the button itself. It trails off, as if the device was knocked out of Buck’s hand before he could get his finger onto the button. 

But he tried. 

Something about that makes it even worse.

-

“Talk to me,” Eddie says, walking into the sitting room, which has since become, for all intents and purposes, Secret Service headquarters. 

He just got off the phone with the director, briefing him on what had gone down. It’s been fourteen minutes since Eddie breached the door to the locker room and they discovered Buck had been taken. Closer to eighteen minutes since Buck entered the locker room in the first place. The pit in Eddie’s stomach grows steadily with each passing minute. He’s desperate for an update– a real update. Not just “Yeah, he’s definitely gone,” which had been the latest one a few minutes ago, before Eddie stepped out to call the director and try to tamp down the rage burning within him before it consumed him. 

“We have footage,” Bobby says, looking up at Eddie from behind a laptop screen. He’s sitting in the same oversized leather chair Buck had been in before, the stupid taxidermy buck above his head. 

God, what Eddie would do to go back to that moment. The things he would change. The things he could prevent. 

“Let me see,” Eddie says. Bobby hesitates, one hand on the laptop screen, as if to shield Eddie from view. 

“Eddie,” Bobby begins. “I just watched it. I think–” His voice is gentle and sympathetic in a way that has Eddie feeling absolutely terrified. 

“No,” Eddie insists. He can hear the hysteria starting to creep into his voice. He clears his throat, takes a quick breath. “Let me see.”

Bobby hesitates once more, but Eddie steps up next to him, standing over his shoulder and staring down at the screen. Reluctantly, Bobby hits play. 

It’s from an exterior camera, one that had a perfect view of two men dragging Buck out of the locker room window. Eddie stands there fuming, his blood boiling beneath his skin as he sees Buck, covered in blood, wearing nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs and a strip of tape across his mouth. 

He kicks and claws, thrashing around as they pull him out of the open window and throw him in the back of a waiting golf cart. It has a miniature flatbed in the back, and one of the men jumps in beside Buck, locking his legs around him and holding a hand over his mouth to keep him still and quiet. 

The other man throws a tarp over the both of them, concealing them from view, before jumping in the driver’s seat and speeding off. 

And then they’re gone. 

Eddie can’t breathe. Buck is gone– taken – on his watch. He’s out there somewhere, barefoot and covered in blood and at the mercy of the two animals who just dragged him through a window right under Eddie’s nose and Eddie can’t fucking breathe. His chest is tight and his head is heavy and everything hurts. He can’t– 

“Eddie,” Bobby’s voice sounds far away, too distant to be coming from the man standing directly beside him. “Eddie, look at me.”

Eddie can’t get the words out. Can’t get the air in. Can’t do anything except stand here as his world falls apart and stammer out a broken,  “They– I– I can’t–”

“I know.” Bobby’s voice is even where Eddie’s wavers, smooth where Eddie’s grates against the lump in his throat. But the fire in his eyes burns just as furiously as the one in Eddie’s. The undercurrent of anger that Eddie can sense coming off of him is just as intense as the one thrumming beneath his own skin. 

And something about that is more comforting than the evenness of his voice ever could be. 

“We’re going to get him back,” Bobby says, matter-of-fact. There’s no room for interpretation, no doubt behind his words. 

“He’s… Bobby, I– I don’t–” 

“He needs you,” Bobby says, his voice low. Quiet enough that it doesn’t draw the attention of the other agents coming in and out of the room, but loud in all the ways that matter. Keep it together , is what Bobby doesn’t say out loud. Keep it together for him. And fall apart later. 

Eddie hears it all the same. 

He nods, managing to get a shaky breath. And then another one. The heat behind his eyes eases up, the pressure in his head and the burn in his chest ebbing away with each additional breath. Not all the way, but it’s enough. 

Bobby places a hand on his shoulder, squeezes reassuringly in a way that has Eddie’s chest aching for an entirely different reason. 

And then Hen is running into the room, waving a sticky note in her hand. “I got a plate.” 

“Let me have it,” Eddie says. Bobby, to his credit, doesn’t protest as Eddie grabs the laptop out from in front of him and pulls up the database. 

Hen reads off the plate number and Eddie types it in. The system shows a match immediately. He pulls up the driver’s ID and his heart skips in his chest. That’s the same guy from the security video, the one driving the cart away. He’s sure of it. 

If the way Bobby stiffens beside him is any indication, he’s sure of it, too. They share a small nod, and Eddie sends a silent prayer of thanks to every God he can think of before keying his radio. “All agents, be advised, we have an ID on one of our suspects. Dixon Allan, age 31. Driving a white Silverado with a busted left tail light. BOLO is going out now.” 

“Last known address on our friend Mr. Allan is 129 Fox Hollow Road,” Bobby says, looking between Eddie, Chim, and Hen. 

“Well, let’s pay him a visit,” Eddie says. 

-

Eddie kills the Suburban’s engine three doors down from the house. The road has a more suburban feel to it than many of the streets Eddie’s seen since they first arrived two days ago. And yet, despite the paved streets and the houses close together, there’s not a single streetlight on the entire block. Though that’ll work in their favor. The sun is quickly setting, leaving them with only a few more minutes’ worth of daylight before the street is completely blanketed in darkness.

Another two cars pull up behind him, all of the agents careful to close their doors quietly and move silently as they head over to Eddie’s car.

Eddie swaps his suit jacket for a kevlar vest, rolling the sleeves of his white button-down up his forearms as Bobby steps up beside him, clad in his own vest. 

“Eddie.” Bobby says, the fear on his face giving way to something softer, more compassionate. “I can go in first.” 

Eddie’s chest squeezes, the onslaught of emotion catching him completely off guard. 

“We have no idea what we’re walking into,” Bobby says, the compassion from his face bleeding into his voice and softening the razor-sharp edge of the truth behind his words. 

“I know,” Eddie says solemnly. He knows Bobby is trying to protect him, offering to be the first one in, the first one to see whatever it is these animals have done with Buck. To Buck. 

But what Bobby must not realize is that this – whatever it is they’re walking into – is what Eddie deserves. He’s the one who let Buck into that locker room alone. He’s the one who waited too long to breach the door and get inside. He’s the one who failed. He failed his country, failed his people. Failed Buck. 

And whatever horror scene they’re about to walk in on, Eddie deserves every second of it. He can’t put that on Bobby. Not when all of this is his fault. 

“I’ll lead,” Eddie says, the words scratching against the lump in his throat. 

He’s saved from having to say anything more about it when his earpiece beeps, signaling an incoming communication. “All agents, be advised. SWAT is eleven minutes out.” 

It’s Eddie’s boss, the director of the Secret Service. The unspoken words there are Wait for them. Which Eddie has no plans of doing. 

Eddie keys his radio. “We’re moving in.”

“Special Agent Diaz––”

“Do you have any idea what can happen in eleven minutes?” Eddie demands. He gives zero regard to the reprimand he’s bound to get for interrupting his boss– and over the team comms for everyone else to hear, no less. “What they could do to him?”

“Stand down and wait for SWAT,” the director says. “That’s an order.”

“I don’t give a damn if it costs me my badge!” Eddie hisses, careful not to raise his voice to the point of giving away their position. “It’ll be on your desk first thing tomorrow if that’s how it has to be. But I’m going in there and getting my President. And I’m not waiting eleven minutes to do it.” 

The comms are silent for a beat before Eddie keys his radio one more time. “Respectfully, Sir.”

“I would never ask any of you to disobey–” Eddie’s voice trails off as he turns to face his team,  only to find them all in their vests, their weapons drawn. They’re ready to go.

“We know,” Hen says. 

Eddie tries again, shoving down the ball of emotion that’s started unfurling in his chest. “No one is under any obligation to–”

Chim cuts him off with a wave of his hand. “Yeah, yeah. We’re all consenting adults here. Now, let’s go get our President back.”

Eddie nods. “Clip your lights on,” he tells them. “Stay light on your feet and wait for my signal.”

He’s met with a round of nods, each of the agents fastening their flashlights onto the top of their guns. As they’re walking down the sidewalk, approaching the house, his earpiece beeps again. 

“Be advised, SWAT recommends breaching at the alpha side.” 

Eddie knows that’s as close to a “You were right and I was wrong” as they’re ever going to get. He’ll take it. 

At least his badge is safe.

“Copy,” Eddie replies. He directs the agents to different sides of the house, approaching the front door with Bobby, Hen, and Chim on his heels. He glances back at them, and once he sees they’re all ready, he turns to the door and kicks it in.

The lights are off, the entire house swathed in a darkness that feels somewhat fitting for the gravity of the situation. Eddie steps over the threshold gun first, feet second. 

His stomach drops as he looks around. He freezes, the beam from his flashlight locked in place. His breath catches in his throat and from somewhere behind him, he can hear Bobby’s do the same. 

The front door opens up into a small entryway, just large enough for a coat rack and a small table pushed up against the wall, holding nothing but a single set of keys– no doubt belonging to the white Silverado parked out front, the same one they used to flee the scene– and a layer of dust Eddie can see from several feet away. Directly ahead is an open door that leads to what looks like the kitchen. To the left, a hallway. 

There are cobwebs in the corners and dust on the floor. The house is cold– too cold for anyone to be living here comfortably. But that’s not what has Eddie’s blood running cold, alarm bells going off in his head as he fights against the fire in his chest to get a clean breath. 

There, on the hallway wall, set clearly against the white paint, is a bloody handprint. 

Beside it, another one. This one messier than the first, the fingerprints trailing away, down the hallway, as if their owner dragged them across the wall. 

As if their owner was dragged. 

Not without a fight, though, if the fingernail scratches in the wall are any indication.  

“Jesus,” Chimney mutters. His voice is empty, hollow in a way Eddie’s never heard it before. Almost as if he’s shut off his emotions, tamped them down in the way Eddie so desperately wishes he was capable of doing himself. 

“Let’s move,” Eddie says, pushing the words past the fear that’s materialized by way of a lump in his throat.

He heads down the hallway, his heart hammering in his chest as his eyes scan the trail of blood and scratches on the wall. The need to find Buck is the only thing more powerful than the rage burning deep inside him. It’s the only thing keeping him moving forward, keeping him from falling apart.

The intensity of the blood against the wall trails off the further he gets down the hallway, the heavy, robust marks fading into barely-there traces with each step Eddie takes. He tries to take comfort in knowing that it means Buck wasn’t actively bleeding– at least not from his hands– but any shred of relief is lost to the fear and the fury dangerously close to consuming him.   

The trail ends at the second door on the right. Eddie holds up his free hand in a silent signal to his team to freeze. The quiet footsteps behind him come to a halt, and he turns his head to see Bobby beside him. 

The anguish in his eyes has Eddie feeling like he’s looking in a mirror. Bobby has the same clenched jaw, the same creased forehead, the same fire burning behind his eyes that Eddie feels in his own. But there’s something more there. Something softer. At first, Eddie isn’t sure what to make of it. Then, Bobby nods his head towards the door, a silent offer. 

I’ll go first. 

He doesn’t have to say it out loud–– Eddie hears the unspoken words loud and clear. He knows it’s Bobby’s last attempt to protect him. To shield him from whatever might be behind the door.

Later, he’ll let himself feel the gratitude. Later, once Buck is home and Buck is safe. 

Later, he’ll find Bobby and he’ll thank him. He’ll tell him that he’s never had anyone care about him in the way that Bobby does. He’ll tell him how much the seemingly simple gesture meant to him. How he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget it. 

Later, he’ll tell Bobby how even though it meant the world to him– maybe even more– he couldn’t take him up on the offer. He hopes Bobby will understand. No, he knows he will. 

Later, he’ll tell Bobby “I had to do it.” And later, Bobby will smile and clap him on the shoulder and say “No, I know you did.” Later. Once this is all over. 

But now, all Eddie can do is meet Bobby’s eyes and hope the look he gives him is enough to say all the things he can’t right now. 

And then he moves. 

The door is locked. Eddie wastes no time kicking it open. It slams against the wall, the hinges rattling as he barrels into the room, Bobby and Chimney immediately behind him. 

The room is dark, illuminated only by the beams of their flashlights. There’s a startled whimper from the far corner, and it’s a miracle that Eddie hears it over the sound of his own heartbeat hammering in his ears. 

“Buck!” Eddie crosses the room in three strides. Protocol says he needs to clear the room of any potential threats before entering, but he’s long past the point of giving a single damn about protocol. 

Someone behind him shouts out a “Clear!” and he hears Bobby on the radio, updating the other agents on scene. 

None of that matters to him. His sole focus is Buck. 

Buck, who’s sitting in front of him, eyes wide and wet even in the bright light of Eddie’s flashlight. He’s on the floor in the corner of the room, his knees pulled up to his chest. His hands are bound behind his back and there’s tape over his mouth. His captors are nowhere to be seen. He’s alone. 

For reasons Eddie can’t quite name, that makes the knots in his stomach coil even tighter. Buck was alone in here. Buck, who hasn’t been alone– not really, anyway– in years. Buck, who just minutes before being taken had insisted he’d be fine by himself. 

Sure, the alternative is that Buck’s captors could’ve been in here with him, doing god-knows-what to him. And that’s hardly better than Buck being left in here alone. But something about the sight of him all by himself, tucked in the corner of the room and looking smaller than Eddie’s ever seen him, has Eddie’s stomach turning, his chest squeezing beneath the agony of it all. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Eddie promises, easing one corner of the tape up. He’s not sure if that last part is true. Not yet. But it needs to be.

“We’re here, we got you.” That part is true. They have him. 

Finally, finally, they have him. 

“Are you hurt?” Eddie asks. He can barely stand the half-second of wait time between his second and Buck’s reply, which comes by way of a quick head shake. No. 

Eddie’s shoulders sag with relief, just as his radio beeps in his ear. “All agents be advised, we have both suspects in custody.” 

Eddie lets out a sound that’s halfway between a sigh and a sob. The relief is palpable, coursing through him and soothing the frayed edges of what little remains of his sanity.

“We got them,” he tells Buck. “It’s over.” 

Buck nods, eyes still shining in a way that feels like a knife to Eddie’s heart. “Gonna take this off, okay?” Eddie says, working hard to keep his voice calm and even. Buck nods eagerly. Bobby is there too, kneeling down at Buck’s side and starting in on the ropes wrapped around his wrists. 

Eddie brings one hand up to the side of Buck’s face, and his chest squeezes at the way Buck immediately melts into the touch. He pulls the tape off with his other hand, dropping it to the ground as soon as it’s off. 

Bobby gets the rope off at the same time and Buck collapses like a puppet whose strings have just been cut, falling into Eddie’s chest with a strangled noise that Eddie knows he’ll be hearing in his nightmares for years to come. 

“I got you,” Eddie says, fighting off a sob he can feel building in his chest. He swallows it down and brings a hand up to the nape of Buck’s neck, holding him close. “I got you.”

Buck’s chest heaves as he draws in a shaky breath, fingers wound so tightly in Eddie’s suit jacket that his knuckles have gone white. “I got you,” Eddie says again. It’s just as much for Buck as it is for himself. 

He holds Buck as close as he possibly can, buries his face in his hair and finally takes a deep breath for the first time in hours. His hair smells like sweat and blood, but underneath it all there’s still the familiar minty fragrance of Buck’s fancy conditioner. It’s barely recognizable, but Eddie clings to it just as hard as he holds onto Buck.

Bobby backs off, gives them a moment to hold each other, to breathe. To let it sink in that this nightmare is finally over. Eddie’s gratitude knows no bounds.

“I– I’m sorry.” Buck’s voice is ragged, trembling in the same way his hands are. 

Eddie’s heart breaks all over again. 

“Shh,” Eddie shushes him. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“I-I told you… I told you not to–” Buck stammers. Eddie eases him back, putting just enough distance between them that he can take Buck’s face in his hands. 

“Buck, please–” It’s all Eddie manages to get out before his voice cracks, hot tears stinging his eyes, threatening to spill over. 

He blinks them back, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against Buck’s. “I’m sorry I left you,” he says, his voice wavering. He could apologize every day, every hour, every minute for the rest of his life and it still could never be enough. “I shouldn’t have listened, I should– I should have insisted.”

Buck shakes his head. “This is not your fault.”

“It is,” Eddie insists. “It is, I– I should have…” His sentence trails off when he registers the way Buck is shaking. He’s trembling in Eddie’s arms, his whole body fighting against what Eddie assumes is a combination of an adrenaline crash and the fact that he’s still barely clothed. Eddie lets go of Buck only long enough to stand up. Quick as their lack of contact may be, it’s still met with a sound of protest from Buck. Eddie helps him to his feet, and it’s the first time he gets a proper look at him, and it takes his breath away. There’s dried blood all over him. It’s caked onto his skin, his hair. It’s beneath his fingernails, stuck in the creases of his palms. Sweat-damp curls are plastered against his forehead, and dark circles hang beneath his weary eyes. 

“Come on,” Eddie says gently. He wraps an arm around Buck’s waist, taking on his weight as he leads him towards the door. 

He keys his radio with his free hand. “All agents be advised, I’m bringing POTUS out. Need medical on standby.”

“No medical,” Buck protests. “I– I’m fine. Just need a shower.” 

“Yes, medical,” Eddie shuts that nonsense down immediately. He leads him out the door and towards the waiting ambulance. 

Maddie is the first one to reach them, running over as soon as she sees them cross the threshold. She meets them halfway across the front lawn, pulling Buck into a tight hug. She’s the only person on Earth for whom Eddie would let go of his hold on Buck, and he doesn’t mind stepping back and letting them have a moment together. Eddie can’t make out what she says to Buck, but if the way his shoulders sag is any indication, it’s exactly what he needed to hear.

-

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Eddie asks. Buck is sitting on the back of the ambulance, Eddie directly next to him. Buck’s head is resting on Eddie’s shoulder, and Eddie finally, finally feels like he’s able to breathe again. Buck is dressed in Secret Service issued sweats, a navy blue crewneck sweatshirt and matching pants. Hen had been quick to bring them over as soon as they made it out of the house, and Eddie’s not sure who was more grateful– him or Buck. 

Eddie was quick to help Buck into them, hoping they’d help to fight against the chill in the night air. He had grabbed a rescue blanket off the back of the ambulance, too, and draped that over Buck’s shoulders in an attempt to get him as warm as possible.

“I– I promise,” Buck says, voice still a little wobbly. “My, uh, my wrists are a little sore. That’s all.” 

“And your head,” Eddie reminds him. 

“And my head,” Buck agrees. 

There’s a small gash on Buck’s forehead, just above the spot where his birthmark kisses his eyebrow. It’s no bigger than an inch wide, and there’s an angry bruise already blooming across the skin behind it. The paramedics already cleaned it and applied a steri-strip, and Eddie was able to find a tiny bit of comfort in the knowledge that it wouldn’t need stitches. 

That tiny bit of comfort was immediately chased away by rage when Buck explained that one of his captors had accidentally smacked his head against the window frame when dragging him out of the locker room, hence the injury. “It’s weird,” Buck had said, both to Eddie and to the paramedics as they tended to the wound. “He apologized. It was like… I– I don’t know. I almost feel like they didn’t want to hurt me.” 

Buck had also said that they dumped him in the room, tied his hands behind his back, and left him alone almost immediately. They didn’t hurt him, didn’t demand information or national secrets. Didn’t make so much as a single threat. Not that they would have had much time to do so– Buck hadn’t even been there an hour by the time the Secret Service arrived.

It all certainly tracked with what Bobby was getting from Dixon, who apparently started talking before the cuffs were even fastened. Bobby had come by a few minutes before and pulled Eddie aside. Maddie was quick to swoop in and sit with Buck while Eddie was briefed. Apparently, the two idiots were hired by someone to whom the governor had an outstanding debt. They were only supposed to rough him up, but upon realizing the man they had jumped from behind was the president, they panicked and took him. How kidnapping the president of the United States was a better decision than aborting the mission and making a run for it, Eddie will never understand. But all that matters is Buck is here. He’s safe. And Eddie isn’t letting him out of his sight any time soon. Possibly ever. 

Not even to deal with Dixon and his partner. Bobby had asked if Eddie wanted to speak with either one of them before PD took them away, to which Eddie had shaken his head. “You’d be wrong to trust me alone with either one of them,” he said. 

Bobby nodded, understanding. “Why do you think I’m over here?”

“It doesn’t hurt, though,” Buck says, pulling Eddie out of his thoughts and back to the present. “My head.”

“There was a lot of blood,” Eddie reminds him. He feels sick at the thought of it, the visuals playing in his mind sending his stomach churning all over again. ��It was all over the locker room. And on the walls in the house.”

“Not mine,” Buck says. “It was his. The smaller one. He tried to grab me in the locker room and I– I pushed him off. He hit his head on the corner of a locker. And then he must’ve gotten scraped up on the window, cause his arms were bleeding a lot. He got it all over me.”

Eddie remembers seeing the smaller of the two kidnappers get in the back of the golf cart alongside Buck, the visual of it seared into his mind. That would certainly explain the blood in Buck’s hair, not to mention the streaks of it across his bare body. 

“Okay,” Eddie nods, comforted by the fact that Buck seems to be alright. At least physically. And for now, he’ll let himself take solace in that. For now, that can be enough. 

He tips his head against Buck’s, their temples resting against one another as Eddie takes a shaky breath. Buck’s voice is so quiet, so small, Eddie almost misses it. “I fought back.”

“I know, baby,” he assures him, rubbing reassuring circles into Buck’s back. “I know you did. It’s over now. It’s all over.”  

-

When they get back to the hotel, Buck beelines for the bathroom, eager to shower off the blood and the sweat still caked onto his skin. Eddie fights every instinct telling him to follow Buck inside, to keep himself plastered to Buck’s side. Instead, he tries to give Buck a little bit of space, tries to wait to follow his lead, painful as it may be. He leans against the door frame and watches as Buck turns the shower on and grabs a towel off the rack. 

“Can you–” Buck says quietly, and there’s something uncertain in his voice, something almost a little bit shy, that Eddie hasn’t heard in a long time. He looks between Eddie and the shower, biting on his bottom lip. “I– I don’t… I don’t want…” His voice trails off, his question left unspoken. 

Eddie hears him anyway. Understands him perfectly, in the way he always has. “Of course.” 

He walks the rest of the way into the bathroom, kicking off his shoes and stripping out of his own clothes before helping Buck out of his. Steam fills the room as Eddie guides Buck into the shower and steers him beneath the warm spray. 

Buck closes his eyes, tips his head back against Eddie’s shoulder, his back to Eddie’s chest. Eddie wraps an arm around Buck’s waist, holding him close as the water sprays over them. Eddie can’t bear to look at it, can’t stand the sight of the water running pink as it swirls around the drain. He presses a kiss to the top of Buck’s head and closes his own eyes, taking a deep breath and allowing himself to relax into the feel of Buck pressed up against him.

“Thank you,” Buck’s voice is so small, Eddie barely hears it over the sound of the running water. “I don’t–” 

Eddie’s not sure how Buck was planning to end his sentence before his voice broke off. But it doesn’t change his answer. “It’s okay,” Eddie murmurs. 

“I don’t want to be alone,” Buck admits.

“You don’t have to be.”

He feels the sob tear its way through Buck’s chest before he hears it. Buck crumples against him, falling into Eddie’s arms as the gravity of the day’s events seems to finally hit him. 

“I’ve got you,” Eddie promises, taking on Buck’s weight and easing him onto the floor. He pulls Buck into his lap, holds him against his chest. He ignores the way the tiled floor is digging into the bottom of his thighs, and the way the water is beating on his back on the wrong side of uncomfortable. “I’m here.” 

There’s a certain weight behind his words. They hang heavier in the air between them, as if they’re suspended in the thick cloud of steam. They’re more than just an assurance. 

“I’m here,” Eddie says again. It's a promise. A pledge. And unspoken vow that he’ll never leave again. 

They stay like that for a while, until the sobs wracking Buck’s body fade into sniffles, until the water starts to turn tepid and Eddie gently eases him to his feet just long enough to wash off. He turns the water hotter and work’s Buck’s fancy shampoo into his hair, massaging his scalp and scrubbing behind his ears in the way he knows Buck loves. Eddie’s stomach turns as it rinses out pink, the last of the blood disappearing down the drain. 

He follows it with conditioner, the shower filling with its peppermint fragrance. Buck has been using this stuff for so long, Eddie feels like one of Pavlov’s dogs with the way the smell of peppermint instantly soothes him. It’s immediately grounding, and never more so than tonight, as it covers up the metallic scent of the blood washing down the drain. 

Once they’re done and all of the hot water is gone for good, Eddie detaches himself from Buck just long enough to turn the water off and grab Buck a towel, passing it to him before grabbing one for himself. As they towel off and step out of the shower, Buck’s hand finds Eddie’s wrist, holding onto him as he guides them out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. 

Buck stands over the dresser for a moment before crossing the room and pulling a t-shirt out of Eddie’s duffle bag. It’s the one he wore to bed last night, and as he turns it over in his hands, Eddie can see some of the lingering tension bleed out of his shoulders. He looks up at Eddie, who nods without hesitation. “All yours, baby.”

They make their way into bed, and Eddie relaxes instantly as Buck curls into his side. Eddie shuts the lights off and drops a kiss to the top of Buck’s head.

“Thank you for finding me,” Buck says quietly, the words muffled by Eddie’s t-shirt. But Eddie hears him loud and clear.

It feels like Eddie’s heart is splitting wide open. He wonders, briefly, if Buck is able to hear it do so from where he’s laying with his head atop Eddie’s chest. 

“Thank you for fighting,” Eddie says, running a hand through Buck’s hair. 

“I didn’t do much,” Buck replies. 

Eddie shakes his head. “You did more than you realize. You fought back, you…” he takes a breath, clears his throat as he searches for the right words. “You bought us time. You fought to make it out of there. You… you gave me– you gave us hope. We needed that.”

He shoves all thoughts of what might have happened if Buck hadn’t fought out of his mind and instead tries to focus on this, on being here with Buck. He tries to focus on the feel of Buck curled up against him, tucked into his side like they’re two puzzle pieces slotting into place. Like the two of them were made for each other.

Eddie likes to think they were.

Buck’s eyes are shining as he props himself up on his elbow, looking at Eddie properly. 

Eddie continues. “Even in our worst moments, we still make a pretty good team.” 

Buck smiles for the first time since this whole nightmare began, and the sight of it alone does more to mend Eddie’s battered heart than he ever thought possible. “You think so?” he asks.

Eddie nods. “I know so.”

"You know what could have stopped them even sooner?" Buck asks, a mischievous glint in his eye. He’s looking more and more like himself with every passing moment, something for which Eddie has never been more grateful.

Eddie knows exactly where this is going. "We're still not giving you a gun. Nice try."

Buck lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine,” he concedes. “But what about a really sharp knife?”

"So you can end up with an accidental self-inflicted stab wound?” Eddie asks. “I don't think so." 

"What about…” Buck begins, his voice trailing off as he inches closer to Eddie. “A super smart…” He brushes his nose against Eddie’s. “Absurdly handsome Secret Service agent…” he drops a quick, playful kiss to the corner of Eddie’s mouth. “...Who carries both a gun and a really sharp knife?"

Eddie grins, only for Buck to chase it away with a long, lingering kiss. "Deal," he murmurs against Buck’s lips as they part.

"Great,” Buck leans in again, smiling against Eddie’s lips as they kiss again. “I always did like Bobby."

Eddie can feel Buck’s chuckle rumbling in his chest, and despite his best efforts to keep a straight face, he can’t help but laugh alongside him. “You’re ridiculous,” he says fondly. 

“Yeah,” Buck agrees. “But you love me.”

Eddie nods, stealing another kiss. “I do,” he promises. “I really, really do.”

-

Eddie wakes up slowly, a tiny, content sigh falling from his lips as he turns over and reaches for Buck. Only instead of finding his warm boyfriend, all Eddie’s fingers are met with are cold bed sheets. “Baby?” Eddie mumbles, his voice thick with sleep. He props himself up on his elbow and blinks slowly as his eyes adjust slowly to the low light. 

It’s too dark for the bed to be this empty. 

He glances over at the door to the ensuite bathroom, but there’s no light slipping through the crack at the bottom of the door. “Buck?” he calls, a little louder this time. When he doesn’t get an answer, he kicks the duvet off and swings his legs over the side of the bed, sitting up properly. He reaches for the lamp on the nightstand, clicking it onto the dimmest setting. It’s still enough light to have him squinting as his eyes adjust. 

He rubs the sleep out of his eyes before standing up and looking around the room.

No. 

No, no, no . Not again. 

His stomach drops, his heart slamming into his ribcage. There’s a pool of blood on the carpet, just next to Buck’s side of the bed. And a trail of blood across the wall, leading from Buck’s side of the bedroom all the way to the door. Five lines for five fingers, fingernail scratches chasing after the bloody smears before cutting out abruptly at the door jamb. He stumbles, nearly falling over as he scrambles towards the hallway. 

“Buck!” The scream tears its way out of his chest, shredding against his vocal cords as he yanks the door open. “BUCK!”

“Eddie.” 

He blinks his eyes open. Buck is leaning over him, his eyes shining with concern. Moonlight pours in through the open window, dancing across his face as he looks down at Eddie. “It’s okay,” Buck assures him. He runs a thumb over Eddie’s cheek, his touch instantly grounding. “You were dreaming.”

Eddie swallows around the dryness in his throat and tries to catch his breath. His heart hammers in his chest as he looks around, trying to get his bearings. 

They’re in bed, in the Residence. The window is open, just how Buck likes it. Buck is beside him. Buck is here. The walls are perfectly clean. No blood. No fingernail scratches. Nothing but wallpaper. 

And Buck is here. Buck is pulling Eddie into his chest, holding him and murmuring “It’s okay,” and “I got you,” and “You’re safe.” 

Buck is here. 

Eddie’s breathing begins to even out, his heart rate slowing down as he holds onto Buck, his arms wrapped tight around him. “I’m sorry,” Eddie breathes. 

“No need,” Buck says simply, as if Eddie waking him up in the middle of the night plagued with nightmares of something that happened months ago is no big deal. 

Self loathing burns in his gut. He hates that he still thinks about that awful, awful night in Wyoming. He hates that everyone else seems to have moved on, and yet there’s a part of him that’s still right there, still standing in that blood-soaked locker room. Still kicking down that door. Still finding Buck, tied up and covered in blood. 

He hates how vivid the memories are when they come. He hates how he feels like he’ll never be normal again. Like it’ll never stop hurting.

He hates the nightmares. Hates the sick, twisted dreams where he sees that bloody wall again and again and again. Hates the dread that consumes him, the darkness that lives inside him still, even now. 

He hates that it ever happened in the first place. That he ever failed Buck like that. 

Eddie remains in awe at how well Buck is doing since that terrible night. Sure, the two of them both clung to each other for the first few days after their return. And it was weeks before Eddie felt like he could breathe again anytime Buck was out of his sight. But Buck seems to be doing well.

He hasn’t been plagued by nightmares in the same way Eddie has. He doesn’t look like he’s going to throw up every time their schedules don’t line up and they have to spend a few hours apart. Not like Eddie does, anyway.

He’s doing well. 

Eddie is not.  

“Was it Wyoming again?” Buck asks after a beat. 

Eddie’s breath catches in his throat as he nods. Buck passes him a glass of water from the nightstand. It makes something in Eddie’s chest ache. 

Buck is so good to him, so in tune. He always knows exactly what Eddie needs, always before Eddie knows it himself. Eddie could live a million lifetimes and still never find the one in which he’s worthy of being loved by Buck. 

“Y-Yeah,” Eddie says, his throat feeling better after downing half the glass of water. “I woke up and you had been taken again.” 

Buck sighs. “Oh, baby.” 

“I’m sorry,” Eddie is quick to say.

“For what?” Buck asks.

Eddie sighs, setting the glass down. “Everything,” he admits. 

“Eddie,” Buck says gently, placing a hand on Eddie’s knee and squeezing reassuringly. “Stop being sorry for that.”

“But I–”

“You came and got me,” Buck says, cutting him off. “Like you always do.”

“I always will.”

Buck smiles, and still, even after all this time, it’s the most beautiful smile Eddie’s ever known. “I’ve never doubted that.”

#well #sorry in advance to anyone from wyoming #i am sure it's a lovely place #just not for buck and eddie #this was supposed to be 2k in the oneshot collection #and suddenly it became 9k+ so she's gotta stand alone #this one is whumpier than i usually do but still soft #my writing #white house au #hurt/comfort #protective eddie diaz #hurt evan buckley #soft buddie #buddie #buddie fic #buddie white house au #evan buckley #eddie diaz #president buck #secret service agent eddie diaz #special agent eddie diaz

[king-buckley]

there's a shimmer in your eyes, like the feelin' of a thousand butterflies.

Explicit | Evan Buckley & Eddie Diaz | Word Count: 811

Buck loved weddings, he had always wanted to get married - he didn’t use to know what kind of person he wanted to marry but when he met Eddie he knew, Eddie was the only one for him.

Bobby had walked Evan down to his love, only Bobby, Athena, Chim and Maddie were invited to the service, it was small and intimate, just they way they had wanted it.

Christopher was their joint best man, it only seemed right that their son was the one stood right at the top of the aisle with them.

The party was in full swing, their first dance had gone surprisingly well considering Eddie was the only one who had any rhythm, they had danced and danced.

Eddie and Christopher after Buck and himself, then Buck and Maddie.

“Edmundo Diaz, you are the love of my life - You listen, you care and you encourage all my insane ideas but most importantly, you love me for me.” Buck says tears in his eyes, as he stands facing his new husband. “You chose me.”

A ruckus applause came from the guests as Eddie stood up, placing a gentle kiss on his husbands lips.

“I love you so much.” Eddie sniffs, a gentle smile on his face. “You are the best dad I could’ve ever wanted for Chris, you see who I am and love me, even at my worst.

It felt kind of strange that they were saying all of these things in front of people, their relationship had always been very private, just for them.

#buddie #evan buckley #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #911onfox

[buckspuppyeyes]

Service top Eddie taking so much pleasure from making Buck feel good just speaks to my soul. He loves the feeling of Buck's body holding onto him well enough, but what really does it for him are the the breathy moans, the toe curls, the fingers bruising his back, the needless exclamations of his name, the pure bliss in Buck's expression.

That's what he lives for.

#evan buckley #9-1-1 on fox #buck buckley #buck x eddie #eddie diaz #top eddie diaz #service top eddie diaz #bottom buck #he just wants to make him feel good #buddie

[capseycartwright]

i watched it begin again

Eddie deserved to be happy too. He didn’t believe that, every day, but he told himself that every day in the hopes that one day, believing it would come more easily. He wanted to believe he would be deserving of Buck's love, too, one day, but he wasn't quite there yet either. One day, he knew, he would be - but that day wasn't today.

- or, Buck and Eddie share a dance at a wedding, and begin to address the elephant in the room that is their feelings for each other.

ao3 link

aka, i saw the wedding bouquet, my brain ran with it, this happened. 

The music was soft, gentle as it played over the speaker system installed on the terrace. The sun was just setting, low in the sky and bathing everything around them in a soft, orange glow - it was picture perfect, Eddie decided, a quiet moment of peace in the midst of their hectic lives. The peace was appreciated, Eddie knew. It had been a tough few months, for all of them, in different ways, and so to have an evening like this where they were doing nothing but celebrating love - well, it felt well deserved.

The song changed from the gentle pop song that had been playing, turning to something slow and romantic, and Eddie couldn’t help the soft smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched Hen and Karen, Bobby and Athena, Maddie and Chimney, all take their places on the dancefloor, swaying to the music. A few months ago, Eddie would have been jealous of them - jealous of their peace, of the way they looked so happy together. For a long time, he’d convinced himself that he would never be deserving of that kind of love again, and it was only recently that he’d begun to unlearn all the ways he’d so determinedly tried to hurt, and punish himself.

Now, Eddie could only be happy for them - for Toni and Clive, who had finally gotten married, making up for years spent apart, and for Hen and Karen, who had tearfully renewed their vows on the same day, a reaffirmation of the deep love Eddie knew his friends shared. For Maddie and Chimney, too, who had spent so many months apart that year, and were together again, Jee-Yun on Maddie’s hip, their family back together.

Eddie could be happy for them, because how could he not be? His friends - his family, the family he chose, day after day - were an incredibly special bunch of people, all of them dedicating their lives to the service of others, in different ways, and they deserved to be happy.

Eddie deserved to be happy too. He didn’t believe that, every day, but he told himself that every day in the hopes that one day, believing it would come more easily.

“Can I have this dance?”

Eddie snapped out of his reverie as Buck spoke, his best friend standing in front of Eddie, holding out a hand. He was wearing a new suit - bought especially for the occasion, Eddie knew - but he’d long since discarded his jacket, leaving him in a pair of checkered trousers and a neat blue shirt, the top buttons open, exposing just a glimpse of the sinewy muscle of his neck, and chest. Buck was beautiful - he was always beautiful - but even more so now, bathed in golden light, looking free, and happy, for the first time in months.

And so - Eddie hated how he hesitated, unsure of how to respond.

“No expectations,” Buck reassured, his voice soft, because of course he could read Eddie like a book.

Eddie Diaz had denied himself a lot, in his life, but he wasn’t about to deny himself this - a dance with his best friend, as the sun set over Los Angeles on a night that felt as though it signalled a new beginning, the end of a chapter of Eddie’s live he was glad to be leaving behind.

“You can,” Eddie smiled, taking the hand Buck offered him, letting his friend lead him onto the dancefloor. A few months ago, even the thought of doing this would have sent Eddie spiralling. Going back to therapy had opened quite the can of trauma worms for him, and as they’d worked through the PTSD, the survivors guilt, and gone deeper, to Shannon, to before Shannon, to his childhood, Eddie had discovered a wealth of things he’d packed so deeply away, never to be addressed.

His sexuality, for one.

Eddie wasn’t exactly proud of the way he’d began his own coming out journey - starting the process with an adamant refusal to believe he could possibly be queer, and no, Frank, he wasn’t homophobic, but he himself couldn’t possibly be gay - but he had begun it, at least, and he was doing his best to try and unlearn a lifetime of internalised homophobia and hurt.

Today, Eddie realised, as Buck tugged him in close, the two of them swaying slowly in time to the music, would be a win. He was dancing with the man he loved, in a room (was it a room, if it was an outdoor terrace?) full of people, and Eddie Diaz wasn’t ashamed.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Buck asked, his voice a quiet murmur. It was funny, really, how even surrounded by all of these people, it felt like he and Buck were dancing in their own bubble, in their own pocket of peace amongst the celebrations happening around them.

“It’s been a hard year,” Eddie admitted, and he didn’t need to say it for Buck to understand - Buck, after all, had been the one to find Eddie sitting amongst the wreckage of his life, baseball bat in hand, as he’d finally broken open, the pieces Eddie had been so desperately trying to hold together with slivers of duct tape straining against their cage and shattering like glass. Buck had been the one who’d sat, as Eddie cried, the tears not stopping now they had finally begun, and he’d been the one to hold Eddie carefully, as though he was something precious, reassuring him that he wasn’t in it alone.

Buck had been the one to knock on Eddie’s door at five am, on the first anniversary of the shooting, grey in the face and shaking as he admitted he’d woken up from a nightmare and had needed to see Eddie to reassure himself that Eddie was really okay. They’d held each other close that morning, and then they’d held even tighter the rest of that day, only barely resisting the urge to keep Christopher out of school and hide under the covers, the three of them, the memory of that day too painful, too fresh, even a year later.

Buck understood what a hard year it had been without Eddie needing to say it.

“It has,” Buck hummed his agreement. “But we’re doing better now. Aren’t we?” he asked, clearly seeing some reassurance from Eddie that his assumption was the case.

“Yeah,” Eddie confirmed, surprised at how easily the positive affirmation came. “We’re doing better now.”

Better.

Better was an objective word, Eddie knew, and Frank had reassured him that better meant whatever Eddie wanted it to me. Better meant that panic attacks were a rarity, rather than a regularity. Better meant that Eddie could get out of bed, most mornings, and feel - if not excited, at least appreciative - of the life he got to lead. Better meant that Eddie wasn’t plagued with feelings of constant guilt, wondering why he had gotten to live while Shannon, his army squadron, and so many others, hadn’t.

Better meant that Eddie could dance with his best friend at a wedding and not feel overwhelmed by it all.

Buck smiled, again, that soft, crooked smile that was so genuine Eddie could feel the impact of it right down to his toes. It was a smile reserved for a few lucky people in Buck’s life - Jee-Yun and Maddie, of course, and Christopher.

And Eddie.

Eddie had realised, recently, how much of an inevitability falling in love with Buck was. How could he not fall in love with a man who radiated kindness, who was gentle and good and so full of love he was so happy to give - even to people who didn’t deserve it? Buck was - he was beyond anything Eddie could have ever dreamed of for himself. Even if Eddie had sat, and tried to design himself a partner in life, he would have never come close to creating someone as good, and as kind, and as wonderful, as Evan Buckley.

Evan Buckley -

The great love of his life.

“You know how I feel about you, don’t you?” Eddie found himself asking, because he thought - he hoped - it was obvious by now. He wasn’t good at letting people in, and letting them see, and know, all the broken parts that made up Eddie Diaz, but he had let Buck in. He had let Buck in, and let Buck know the best parts of him, and let Buck know the worst parts of him, and Buck loved him, all the same.

Eddie didn’t always believe he deserved it - but selfishly, he was happy to have it, happy to keep that love for himself.

“I know,” Buck reassured, and his smile didn’t falter, even as Eddie made his next admission.

“I’m not ready, Buck,” Eddie admitted, and he wished that wasn’t the case - he wished, more than anything, that he could lean in, in the middle of this dancefloor, Buck’s hand already on Eddie’s waist, the other wrapped tightly around Eddie’s fingers, and kiss his best friend. Eddie wished he was there - he wished he was ready, but the reality was, he wasn’t. It had only been two months since he had started therapy, and there was so much he still needed time to work through.

Buck deserved to have the best version of Eddie - and honestly, Eddie wasn’t sure he’d be ready for it, for them, before he was a better version of himself. Buck was - Buck was it, Buck was the rest of Eddie’s life, and Eddie was determined not to ruin it, was determined not to make a mess of the greatest love he had ever known because he had jumped too far, too fast, too soon, and the jagged edges of Eddie’s broken pieces had ended up tearing Buck, tearing them, apart.

“I know,” Buck reassured again, and he gave Eddie’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m not ready yet either, Eddie.”

And -

Oh.

If that wasn’t a revelation in itself. Of course Buck wasn’t ready, Eddie realised - his relationship with Taylor had only imploded a few short weeks ago, and Buck had struggled, in the weeks that followed. Eddie hadn’t seen it - Buck determined to hide it from him - but Hen had explained how Buck had hit the self-destruct button and had kept hitting it, jumping into bed with Lucy, taking risks that worried even the most steadfast, calm members of the 118. Chimney had lost it, apparently, Hen had explained over coffee - he’d shouted at Buck in the middle of a scene, accusing him of being reckless and dangerous and acting as though he had something to prove, when he didn’t, because he had a family who loved him and who wouldn’t survive it, if he wasn’t there.

Eddie wouldn’t survive it, if Buck wasn’t there.

Bobby had signed Buck off work for three weeks and given him his orders to go back to therapy, and Buck had appeared on Eddie’s doorstep after that disastrous shift, exhausted, lip wobbling as he’d asked Eddie if he could stay for a few days.

(Eddie wished he’d had the confidence to ask Buck to stay forever, then - but they weren’t there yet.)

Of course Buck wasn’t ready - he had his own demons to battle before he could be.

“But we will be, right?” Eddie couldn’t help but ask for reassurance, fingers knotting in the crisp material of Buck’s shirt. They were close - close enough that Eddie could breath in the familiar, sweet and woody scent of Buck’s favoured cologne, close enough that Eddie could smell the fading aroma of his own laundry detergent, Buck long-since converted to the same brand (“So we can buy it in bulk, Eddie,” he said, as if it were obvious, as if the most sensible thing for two best friends to do was get a joint Costco membership to cut grocery costs), close enough that he could smell something so distinctly Buck, underneath it all.

The song had already changed, the slow, easy romance changing to something more upbeat, Jee-Yun’s giggles adding to the symphony of noise they were surrounded by. But Buck didn’t change their pace - and Eddie was happy to let the younger man lead, the two of them swaying slowly, out of time, happy in their own little world.

“Eddie,” Buck’s gaze was intense, but Eddie couldn’t look away - he didn’t want to look away, not when beneath the intensity Eddie could see nothing but love, and affection, and the rest of his life. “When we’re ready, this is going to be the greatest adventure of our lives - I promise.”

There was a lot, Eddie wished he could say - but he hadn’t untangled those feelings from the shame he still carried in the pit of his stomach, hadn’t detached them from the pain and the hurt that still made his every step ache, and Buck deserved the right words, not a half-thought out confession that came because Eddie couldn’t hold it in, anymore.

Eddie didn’t have the words, yet, but he could speak in actions, tucking his chin into the groove between Buck’s neck, and shoulder, hugging his best friend tightly. Their hugs were normally limited to those ridiculous, bro-like, back slapping hugs that tried to reassure the world around them that there was nothing too affectionate contained within the boundaries of their friendship - but this was more, this was the kind of hug you gave someone you loved, and loved deeply.

Buck pressed a kiss to the side of Eddie’s head, the embrace brief, but still something Eddie would feel the ghost of for days, the two of them still swaying out of time to the music as the celebrations continued around them.

I love you, I love you, I love you -

The words would come, one day, but for now, their family was happy, and Eddie was dancing with his best friend, and as the sun made its final descent beyond the horizon, the fairy lights strung up around the terrace flickering to life, bathing the terrace in smooth, golden-yellow light, the day at its end, Eddie made himself a promise.

Tomorrow, he decided, would be the first day of a new chapter of his life -

And it would be the chapter where he finally found the words to tell Evan Buckley that he loved him, that he loved him in crazy ways and calm ways and ways that he was only beginning to learn and understand.

But for now -

For now, Eddie conceded, safe in his best friend's arms as they danced - for now, they had this, and that was enough.

#911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911fic #in which i ramble #in which lorna writes fic #anyways no excuse for this i just couldn't get the scene out of my head

[thatsveryood]

a 911 buddie rec list

a rec list for @heathyr but honestly anyone else with taste 💅🏽 all completed except for the lil bonus fic. i have fallen deep into this fandom and i haven't even watched the show yet, send help

of men and angels by extasiswings - 13k, rated T Lots of repressed biphobia and PTSD but GOD did this make me cry, honestly made my top list of fics

Leave the Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania - 44k, rated M would you like some pain? lots of angst with a side of childhood trauma? major character death except NOT so this is my favorite type of angst with a happy ending.

Close My Eyes and Stumble (Right Into Your Love) by HMSLusitania - 22k, rated M honestly anything by HMSLusitania is gold. this one is basically what if Eddie instead of Abby and i dig it but i also never really cared for abby much?

your love got me slippin' by An_Optimist_Prime, Tails89 - 2k, rated T a short ficlet but had me cackling

Buck Down Under by scarletmanuka - 75k, rated M i didn't think i'd like this at first because OCs tend to be very hit or miss but this was great!! i also learned a lot about australia and it hit all my heart strings

the blues, and then purple-pink skies by lecornergirl - 8k, rated T secret relationship fics are usually fun antics but this has some absolutely riveting calls and damn i'd love to see them played out on the screen (with the buddie of course)

all good things come to an end (but it's not the end) by wafflesofdoom - 11k, rated E friends w benefits but platonic. honestly reminds me of one of my fave teen wolf fics no homo, but with "platonic" and i love it

Five Minutes by Onelonely_tortillachip - 72k, rated M cowboy!buck and angst with a happy ending, what more do you need?

ripples all the way down by iriswests - 57k, rated M i saw parent trapping in the tags and i was sold. i never loved kidfic until this fandom and christopher diaz really IS a national treasure.

Does Your Firehouse Know? by allyasavedtheday - 7.5k, rated T short but satisfies that friends mondler arc i wanted for buck and eddie with chim suffering in the best way 😈

With A Little Help From My Friends by extasiswings - 3k, rated T eddie makes friends who aren't buck and learns what actual friendship looks like vs being in love with your best friend

the distance to the stars by cloudydaisies - 27k, rated G absolutely adorable with a lil punch in the gut near the end but absolute sweetness. a fluff sandwich if you will

Buy Back the Secrets by allyasavedtheday - 19k, rated T amnesia!buck knows he's in love with eddie and it's adorable. i just love amnesia tropes tbh 🙈

before the night fades by MilenaDaniels - 8k, rated T POV outsider which when done well I loooove and this one totally satisfied that, esp as former food service

bonus WIP:

Just My Luck by DarkFairytale - 59k, rated T, incomplete status but updating still I don't usually read WIPs but this one was v cute and also has sort of concluded the main arc so if it never got completed i'd be okay? but i hope it does

#buddie #i don't even go here #tv: 911 #fic recs #i refuse to watch until they make this canon! i will not be destieled again!! *pounds fist on table* #i will be using this tag every time to explain myself from now on #also i can edit in tumblr links for authors if you want me to just message me! i just wasnt sure if ppl wanted that shared!! #buck x eddie

[buckactuallys]

congrats on your follower milestone!! 💜💜 🐙 + smiling in between kisses for buddie?

thank you so much, isha!! 💖💖💖 everyone's been writing married buddie so i was in a sappy mood, i guess? i hope you like it!

[read on ao3]

It’s bright outside when Buck wakes up, some of the morning sun shining through a gap in the curtains and casting the room in warm yellow light.

He's warm and comfortable, Eddie's body a familiar shape against his, tucked under Buck's arm, chest expanding with every breath he takes. Buck presses his smile against the back of Eddie's neck and spreads his fingers on the warm skin of Eddie's stomach.

Eddie takes another deep breath and tangles his hand with Buck's, humming sleepily. He pulls Buck's arm further around himself until he can lift Buck's hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his palm and then each knuckle, lingering on the fourth finger.

"Good morning, Mr Buckley-Diaz," he says, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Good morning, Mr Buckley-Diaz," Buck replies, unable to stop himself from sounding giddy about it.

His husband - husband! - turns around in his arms and smiles at Buck, hand coming up to cup his cheek.

"We're married," he says, voice full of wonder, and Buck rubs his finger over the gold band on Eddie's ring finger.

"We are." He can't get the smile off his face but doesn't really want to either, never wants to lose that bubbly feeling in his chest.

Eddie hasn't stopped smiling for the last 24 hours either, and Buck reaches out to trace his smile with a careful finger. Eddie kisses the pad of his finger and moves even closer, slotting his leg between Buck's and pressing them together from head to toe.

"I love you," he tells Buck, and Buck hides his smile against Eddie's neck.

"I love you too," he kisses Eddie's neck, "husband."

Eddie shivers and tightens his arm around Buck. "That sounds right."

"Yeah," Buck agrees. "I'm going to be so annoying about it. I'll introduce you as my husband to everyone, I'll be like "my husband said this, my husband said that, I'm just waiting for my husband", I'll just keep finding excuses to bring up the fact that you married me."

"Can't wait," Eddie says with a low laugh, and Buck feels the vibrations of his chest against his own. "I'll do the same, I hope you know that."

Buck pulls back a little to look at him. "Say it, then."

Eddie's smile widens. "You're my husband."

Buck's eyes immediately water and Eddie reaches out again, his thumb soft against the skin right below Buck's eye, ready to catch any tears that might spill over.

"My husband is a big crier." Eddie's voice is soft and fond, a little amused. "But it's because he loves with everything in him. My husband makes me so happy, happier than I've ever been. My husband hasn't kissed me yet this morning, which should be illegal-"

Buck snorts and scoots closer, slotting their lips together in a soft kiss. He pulls back, smiling, and Eddie's smiling too before he brings his hand to the back of Buck's head and kisses him again. They're chaste kisses, short and sweet because they both can't seem to stop smiling, and Buck runs his hand up and down Eddie's back, holding him close.

Eventually, the kisses deepen and Buck rolls them over so he’s on top. He’s got a lot of ideas on how they can make the most of their honeymoon.

Later, Eddie will order them room service breakfast, making sure to mention that he's ordering for himself and his husband and Buck will watch him, still with that smile on his face matching the one on Eddie's face, and he'll think about how he's the luckiest man in the world. He’ll kiss Eddie’s shoulder and tell him out loud.

His husband will argue that he's the luckiest, and that is an argument Buck will be happy to continue having for the rest of their lives.

#i totally wrote this while i was technically supposed to be listening to a conference lmao #buddie fic #911fic #buddie #911 #pia writes #pia's 1k follower celebration #ask #alltoowellmv

[outrunningthedark]

Considering that JLH chose to switch Maddie's love interest from Eddie to Chimney, do you think Buddie is entirely accidental (because Ryan and Oliver clicks so well so they decided to go for it), is made as second option but they are still unsure whether people will like it or not so they give superficial teasing as teasers aside from a few episodes ("Stuck" comes to mind), or a different scenario altogether?

I think it's a combination of both scenarios you just laid out, nonnie. It's accidental in that nobody was prepared for what would happen when those two shared the screen. Ryan was brought on board to test the waters opposite Jennifer, those plans get nixed before they begin, and by the end of his introductory episode, Buck and Eddie are vowing to have each other's backs whenever possible. Something about the way they interacted made Tim & co. decide that their connection should be cemented right away. The "teasing" you brought up is how I view all of season two. Episode three had Buck watching the Diaz boys reunite after the earthquake, and then in the very next episode he's going with Eddie to the hospital for a family emergency, receiving permission for them to bring Chris back to the station, and we are given the scene where they catch Chris as he slides down the fireman's pole. All of that (probably) would have been enough to make viewers see that their relationship is going to be...different from the rest, but THEN Buck takes it upon himself to request Carla's help in getting Christopher the necessary services to adjust to life in L.A. In that moment, the co-parenting (sharing of responsibilities) officially began. But then two episodes later, what happened? We were introduced to The Reporter. That was the first test re: Could the attraction between Buck and TayKay compare to, or even one-up, this thing between Buck and Eddie?

And the week after that? Eddie's estranged wife is back in the picture. The three week period from 2x06 -> 2x08 felt like TPTB knew they had unexpectedly stumbled upon something special, but they had to first figure out if the audience was genuinely interested in/rooting for their relationship. Had TayKay/Ali/Shannon (any of those three) come in and won over the majority, Buddie would not be where they are right now. TBH, I think Tim & co. were mulling over canon!Buddie when Ali was reintroduced. Buck had just hooked up with TayKay and decided he didn't want to go back to his pre-Abby days, so he goes out for a coffee date with Ali. Their relationship progresses off-screen right up until the finale (red flag!), and then when we finally DO see them, they're not even comfortable with the idea of officially moving in together. (We talk a lot about BT's lack of communication, but it seems Buck and Ali weren't much better.) And to top it off, Ali confesses that she's not sure she can handle being with a firefighter due to the risks that come with the job, but instead of having a make-or-break conversation where they lay all their cards on the table, Ali leaves and we never see her again. In his post-season interview, Tim was quoted as saying "Ali is a possibility for [Buck]. She is somebody that's with him." and that is exactly how it felt like they treated the character. She was an option, and TPTB ultimately chose to go in another direction. By the start of season three, Shannon's deceased, Buck and Ali are a thing of the past, and we're witnessing the first part of a three episode arc that involved the Buckley-Diaz family. That? Was our turning point.

#anonymous #tina speaks #tv: 911 #tv: 9-1-1 #buddie

[bibuddie]

63 for the kissing prompt?

63. trying to concentrate on a task, but your lover kisses your neck, making your head spin

buck furrowed his brow in frustration, tapping his foot as he leafed back through the last six months of internet bills. ever since moving into the diaz house, he'd made it his personal mission to get their finances in check, starting with the internet.

he could hear the customer service agent tapping away on his keyboard on the other end of the phone, and he pursed his lips as they began to ramble off a plan for him. he tried to listen, really, he did, but it was a little difficult with eddie trying to make a physical map of his neck with his lips.

buck sucked in a sharp breath, muting the mic on the phone as he closed his eyes. "eddie. stop. i'm trying to concentrate here." he felt rather than heard the chuckle against his skin, felt the scrape of eddie's teeth in his bones and downright shivered. he turned his head over his shoulder as he raised a brow. "you just don't know when to quit, do you?" eddie opened his mouth to respond just as sound began to filter back in.

"-ckley? mister buckley? what did you think of the package?"

scrambling for the mute button on his phone as eddie laughed silently into the crease of his neck, spluttered, "um- sounds perfect! can you get that set up for me?"

"i- yes of course! is everything okay?"

buck let out a squeak as eddie's hands wormed their way under his shirt. "y- yeah! we're all good! just send me an email with the terms and conditions please!"

"okay, is there anything else-"

"nope! that's all! havealovelydaythankyoubye!" buck mashed the end call button before turning and throwing himself into eddie's arms, kissing him ferociously. eddie responded in favour, sitting buck on top of the dining room table and standing between his legs. eddie's hands felt like an inferno against his thighs, and buck felt it all the way into his core.

"what about the bills?" eddie teased, tugging gently on buck's bottom lip.

"one saving is enough for today." buck murmured, reeling eddie back in for another bruising kiss.

(a few hours later, buck reviewed the contract he'd signed up for and realised - completely through his own fault - that he'd been massively oversold. eddie laughed all the way through the explanation, the laughter dying in his throat when buck smugly informed him that as the account holder, he would have to be the one to cancel the order, knowing they'd ask for a reason why.

buck couldn't wait to hear what eddie had to say.)

#evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #911 on fox #buddie fic #rebecca writes

[buckleyblueyes]

buddie + “what’s mine is yours. always.”

Thank you so much for this prompt! I hope you enjoy tooth rotting fluff (softness prompts)

Eddie woke to a disappointingly cold and empty bed. He let out a soft grunt and slowly opened his eyes to see that his husband—husband, shit, that was going to take some getting used to—had, in fact, abandoned him.

“Buck?” He called out, squinting in the bright tropical sun that poured in their window. It was their first full day in Hawaii, two days after their wedding. It still felt surreal to Eddie. Not only that they were actually married now, as if that wasn’t amazing enough, but that they were on their honeymoon. Two full weeks of just him and Buck, without interruption. It almost felt too good to be true, like it was all a dream that could be interrupted at any moment by the sound of the station bell.

Maybe it was because he and Shannon had never gotten a honeymoon--she was already pregnant at the time, and money was tight anyway. They always said they’d take a special trip for their tenth anniversary, but of course, that never happened.

He hadn’t even realized how badly he wanted a honeymoon until Bobby and Athena had surprised them with the trip to Hawaii about a month before the wedding, Bobby assuring them the time off was taken care of, and Athena even offering to let Christopher stay with them for an extended sleepover with Harry. He’d started crying at their dining room table, unable to articulate exactly what it meant to him.

Eddie was pulled from his thoughts when Buck stepped out from the en suite bathroom, inspecting a bottle of complimentary coconut scented body lotion. “Yes, dear?”

“Why aren’t you in bed?” He grumbled, and then, taking a longer look at Buck, he added, “Why are you dressed?” It was the first day of their honeymoon, he’d be damned if they left the bed. The beach would still be there tomorrow.

Buck chuckled, blue eyes shining. “Did you want me to talk to room service naked?”

Eddie furrowed his brow. “You ordered room service already? How long have you been up?”

Buck shrugged. “About an hour?”

“And you didn’t wake me?” Eddie’s frown deepened.

“Not for lack of trying,” Buck smirked, stepping toward the edge of the bed. “Someone must’ve really worn you out last night.”

Eddie huffed. “Oh, don’t look so smug. I think it had more to do with the five hour flight.”

“I’m just saying, that was only the first night, old man.” Buck flashed that insufferable look that always made Eddie want to kiss the grin right off his face.

“Shut up,” he groused instead.

“Make me.”

So Eddie did. He curled his fingers around the waistband of Buck’s sweats, and pulled him down onto the bed and into a searing kiss. Buck’s hands found their way onto Eddie’s bare chest, pushing him back down into the mattress. There was a time, early on in their relationship, when Eddie may have been more reluctant to give up control, but he’d long since let go of that desire, realizing at some point that he didn’t need to be in control with Buck; he was safe with Buck. It was a vulnerability he’d never found with anyone else. He let himself be pliable under his husband’s gentle touch. He settled into the soft nest of pillows, relishing in the firm weight of Buck on top of him and wrapping his arms around him.

Of course, the moment was broken by a knock on the door. “Room service!”

Eddie groaned when Buck pulled away from him. “Do we have to eat?”

Buck rolled his eyes, pushing off the bed. “I’m not letting you starve to death on our honeymoon.”

Eddie sighed. “Fine.” He lifted himself up on his elbows to watch Buck walk toward the door, shamelessly raking his eyes over Buck’s backside, hugged perfectly by his soft grey sweatpants. Eventually he pulled his gaze away from Buck’s ass to Buck’s upper back and shoulders, muscle bulging in his old, slightly too tight LAFD t-shirt. Eddie’s breath caught in his throat when he read the name on the back of Buck’s shirt.

Buck came back from the door with a cart laden with French toast, bacon, sausage, eggs, orange juice, and coffee. Eddie’s stomach growled against his will as he sat the rest of the way up.

Buck snorted. “Told you,” he said, sitting back down on the bed and pushing a coffee mug into Eddie’s hands.

“Whatever,” Eddie mumbled into his coffee. His eyes didn’t leave Buck’s shirt.

“What?”

Eddie shrugged. “You’re wearing my shirt.”

“Yeah?” Buck raised an eyebrow, clearly not understanding. “Is that a problem?”

“Nope,” he said, keeping his voice light and casual. “What’s mine is yours, always.”

Buck flushed. “Then why are you staring at me?”

“I like my last name on you, Mr. Buckley-Diaz.”

“Oh.” Buck grinned. “Well, I like my last name on you, Mr. Buckley-Diaz.”

And Eddie just had to kiss him for that. He kept it quick, barely more than a peck on the lips, knowing if they let it go any further the eggs would coagulate and the French toast would go soggy. He reluctantly pulled away, pressing a sloppy kiss to Buck’s cheek on his way. “I love you so much.”

“Y’know, before the wedding none of our friends believed me when I told them how sappy you are.”

Eddie rolled his eyes fondly. “Hopefully writing our own vows showed them how wrong they were.”

“Hm,” Buck nodded. “Hopefully.” He turned to the breakfast cart and picked up the plate of French toast. “The French toast and sausage is for me, and the bacon and eggs are for you,” he said.

Eddie pouted.

“What?” Buck asked, through a mouthful of French toast.

“Are you not gonna say you love me, too?” Eddie whined, fully aware of how petulant he sounded, and not caring one bit. This was their honeymoon, damn it. The whole damn point was to be lovey-dovey idiots.

“Man,” Buck shook his head, grinning. “You marry a guy and all of a sudden he gets needy.”

“Excuse me for wanting to hear my husband tell me he loves me on our honeymoon.” Eddie crossed his arms.

That was all it took for Buck to break, grin softening into a warm smile. “I do love you so much.”

Eddie mirrored Buck’s smile. “I know.”

“Good.” Buck shoved the plate of eggs and bacon into Eddie’s lap. “Now eat your breakfast.”

#buddie #buddie fan fic #buddie fic #buddie drabble #prompt fill #my fan fiction #containing misters buckley-diaz bc IMO they should hyphenate bc it's like #they're creating their own new family #out of all the pain and heartache from both their pasts #it's not about Buck becoming a Diaz #it's about them coming together to become one family

[somebodycall911onabc]

Spoon me, you idiot

Post ep4x13 Buddie because my brain is just that episode on loop. Hands up if you're not ready for the season 4 finale, folks. Have some cuddling and love confessions in the meantime.

Buck helps Eddie over the threshold with one hand at Eddie’s elbow and the other pressed against his hip. Eddie’s fine, he’s fine, he’s alive, but he’s exhausted. Pain and shock weigh down his shoulders, make him unsteady on his feet.

Carla breathes in sharply at the sight of him. Then she’s stepping forward, folding Eddie into a soft embrace, pulling his head down cheek to cheek with hers. Buck drags his eyes away from his living, breathing, living friend to find Chris, who’s lying on the couch with his glasses askew, mouth open in sleep. Buck’s heart clenches like a fist. He’s going to remember Chris’s haunted, horrified expression for the rest of his life, the light dying in Chris’s eyes as Buck had to tell him… had to tell him that his dad wasn’t coming home that night.

Buck walks over to Chris and kneels down beside him. He’s pretty sure it’s the first time Chris has slept since he heard about it. The first time in more than 48 hours that the kid’s closed his eyes. Buck brushes the curls back from Chris’s forehead, trying to be gentle, not wanting to wake him.

Eddie gets down next to Buck, their knees pressing together. Buck feels the shudder that runs down Eddie’s spine, feels it echoed in his soul. Buck isn’t the religious type, but he feels like this is another miracle. Years after his first brush with death, Eddie coming home once again to his son.

With a hand on Chris’s shoulder, Eddie murmurs, “hey, my little Superman. Chris, I’m here.”

Chris’s eyes open slowly, reluctantly, until he sees his dad’s face and wakes up all at once.

“Dad!” Chris shouts, hands flying up to attach themselves to Eddie’s face. “Dad!”

Eddie’s smiling, huffing out laughter in pure, unadulterated joy at seeing his son’s delighted expression. Chris is grinning and whooping, falling forward to curl himself into his dad’s chest. Eddie lifts one arm to hold Chris close and buries his face in Chris’s hair.

Buck blinks back tears, feeling relief crash over him. He rubs his eyes and starts to get to his feet, wanting to give the Diaz boys some space, until he feels a tug on his shirt. Eddie’s hand twists in the fabric. He’s not even looking at Buck, head tucked against the curve of Chris’s skull. Buck sinks back down and tentatively puts his arms around the both of them, Chris’s knobbly spine and Eddie’s strong back, his cheek brushing Eddie’s forehead. Buck lets out a breath that trembles like an earthquake.

It feels like home. It feels impossible. It’s what he’s always wanted. It feels like something Buck isn’t allowed to have.

When they finally let go of each other, what could be a minute or a year later, Buck notices Carla standing at the end of the couch. She’s smiling fondly at all of them, and Buck realizes abruptly that this is the first time he’s seen her since the pandemic started. He gets up—although it’d be more fair to say he tears himself away—and moves toward her, and there’s always been something magic about Carla because she takes one look at him and she knows.

“I missed you,” Buck says, his nose smashed into her chin. She’s hugging him like she’s trying to pack Buck down tight and snug him into a little box where she can keep him safe. Or maybe that’s just Buck’s wishful thinking. He’s so goddamn tired.

“I missed you too, Buckaroo,” Carla says, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. Buck swallows the lump in his throat her tenderness causes.

She pulls away and very gently pats his cheek, looking Buck in the eye. “He needs you, you hear?” She whispers, holding that eye contact like she’s bet money on a staring competition. “Take care of each other.”

Buck can only nod.

She lets go of him and Buck shakes himself into standing straight, even though he’d much rather crumple to the floor. But he needs to get Eddie and Chris to bed, he needs to figure out what’s still edible in the kitchen and take out the trash, he needs to call the pharmacy for Eddie’s meds and the station for Eddie’s med leave, he needs to—

“Alright boys, get some rest.” Buck blinks and Carla comes back into focus. She’s addressing all of them, voice firm. “I’ll be here bright and early tomorrow to help out.”

“Thank you, Carla,” Eddie says.

“No need for that.” She bends down to give Eddie a quick hug, and Buck hears her tell him, “just try not to get on the bad side of any more sniper-rifle-wielding nut jobs, alright?”

Eddie’s reply is somewhere between a laugh and a choked-back sob.

Buck walks Carla to the door. Before she leaves, she looks at him, sharp-eyed and commanding again. “You call me if you need anything. Anything. You look just as bad as he does.”

“I’ll be fine. Thanks, Carla.”

She narrows her eyes at him, but this is what Buck has always been best at. He wades through the hurt and the pain and just keeps going. He gives her a tight smile, reminds himself that he wasn’t the one shot (no, just the one sprayed with Eddie’s blood, he can still feel it on his skin, still taste it on his lips), and closes the door behind her.

Getting Chris and Eddie to bed is easy. Buck lifts Chris up, carries him to Eddie’s room, and pulls the covers over both the Diaz boys. Eddie tries to catch Buck’s eye while Buck leaves the room, but if Buck stops moving then he’s not sure when or if he’ll start again. Buck pulls the bedroom door most of the way closed, leaving a tiny crack in case Eddie or Chris need him in the night.

In the kitchen, the clock on the stove informs him that it’s just past 9 pm. It’s jarringly early. It feels like time doesn’t really exist, that he’s been moving in a place defined by the hours since Eddie dropped, the hours since Eddie went into surgery, the hours since Eddie woke up.

Buck opens the fridge and looks into it without seeing anything, like when you’re reading only to realize that three pages have gone by without you remembering a single word. He closes the fridge door and opens it again, and oh, there’s the carton of milk and bottle of ketchup on the top shelf, the egg carton down to its last egg, a container of left-over fried rice from… was it yesterday? Buck folds back the top flap and sniffs it, decides it will be fine for one of the boys to eat when they get up.

He closes the fridge and investigates the pantry next. Two boxes of spaghetti, a can of beans, three cans of chicken noodle soup, an unopened bag of quinoa that is probably the result of Ana because Buck’s not sure Eddie has ever heard of quinoa—like he’s taking inventory of the truck. Thermal blankets, C-spine collar kit, 3L of sterile water, 3L sodium chloride, hug-a-bear. The 118 has a blue elephant courtesy of Athena. Buck could honestly really use it right now.

Buck runs a hand through his hair and pulls out his phone, planning to make a grocery list. He sees two missed calls from Bobby and eight from Maddie. One from Chim. Hen texted him at 4pm: How you holding up?

Buck very slowly puts the phone down.

He takes a step back and grips the edge of the kitchen counter. Breathe, Buck, he thinks. Just breathe.

His vision is spotty when he opens his eyes, like he’d shut them too tight. He doesn’t remember shutting them. It doesn’t matter. Buck finds a scrap of paper in the recycling bin and a pen from the junk drawer and writes a list. It’s late, so he’ll go to the grocery store in the morning, early, make sure breakfast is on the table for when Eddie and Chris get up. Oh fuck, does he have a shift tomorrow? What day is it?

Buck puts down the pen and presses the heels of his palms to his eyes. He can’t do this. He can’t stand here and pretend like he can take care of Eddie because he can’t stop seeing Eddie die. It’s in the back of his head every moment, it’s what he sees every time he closes his eyes, it’s the memory rewritten by his cells as they multiply and decay, it’s in his fucking genome now or whatever they call it—

it’s in the air he breathes, the reminder that for a moment that lasted an eternity, Eddie’s heart had stopped beating.

It’s a loud silence. Deafening.

Buck thinks, take a breath before you pass out, idiot.

Buck thinks, get a glass of water and pull yourself together.

Buck thinks, your best friend just got shot, you don’t have time for this bullshit.

Buck peels his hands away from the counter slowly, carefully, like if he makes one wrong move he’ll come away with flayed palms. He pours himself a glass of water and makes himself drink the whole thing. He picks up the list he wrote and reads it over and over and over. He thinks: what do I know is true? I’m standing in Eddie’s kitchen. I’m alive. Eddie is alive. And: I should get carrots.

Buck hiccups. Carrots—fucking—

No. Get it together. DAMN IT, Buck!

Buck bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds and does not add carrots to the grocery list. Because apparently they cause emotional breakdowns, and Buck can’t afford one.

He puts himself to work. He ties the trash bag and then he wipes down the counters, and then he unties the trash bag to throw some paper towels in. He transfers the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher, quiet as he can, and locates a broom at the back of Eddie’s hall closet to sweep the floor.

When he’s emptying the dust pan into the trash (he’d tied and untied the bag again, but nobody’s counting, so what does it matter), Eddie says: “Are you OK?”

Buck jumps at least three feet in the air. He’s got the quads for it.

“Hey!” Buck whisper-shouts, turning to face Eddie. “What are you doing up?”

“Was wondering where you were.”

“Uh,” Buck looks around at the spotless kitchen and the broom in his hand. “Just, you know. Thought I’d be of service.”

Eddie raises his eyebrows at him. “Buck, the last thing I’m worried about is the state of my kitchen.”

“Right. That’s why I’m taking care of it. You know, so you don’t uh. You don’t have to.”

“OK.” Eddie squints at him like maybe a closer look will explain why Buck is sweeping his kitchen at 9:45pm three days after he got shot in the street in broad daylight. Buck sincerely hopes he doesn’t figure it out. He leans the broom against the counter and clips the dust pan to it in a rare display of tidiness. The pan slides down the broom handle until it hits the floor.

“When’s the last time you slept?”

Buck shrugs.

“Answer, please.”

God, what a dad.

(Not that Buck would know.)

“Uh… I think I got a few hours while you were in surgery.”

“That was two days ago, Buck,” Eddie says, frowning at him. “You look like a stiff breeze could knock you over.”

“Well, we’re inside.”

“Why are you being so stubborn? You need to sleep.”

“I’m just not really feeling it,” Buck says, folding his arms and resting his hip against the counter.

“Not giving you a choice,” Eddie says, looking extra grumpy because he can’t fold his arms. Unless you count the one in a sling as folded.

“I’m fine, Eddie. Don’t worry about me. You should be with Christopher.”

Eddie lifts his hand to his face and rubs his temples.

“Buck,” he says, “the only thing I need you to do right now is come to bed.”

“But I—“

“Come to bed, Buck.”

And it’s the repetition. It’s the look in Eddie’s eyes like a slow, early flame: the promise of a fire.

Buck’s throat is very, very dry.

“I… yeah. OK.”

Eddie gives him a small smile. Buck’s reeling. Because here’s the thing—they’ve shared a bed before. They’ve shared a too-small bunk at the station and a backseat and even a beanbag once (courtesy of a very poor decision on Buck’s part, but at least Chris likes it). But it’s always been “just bros.” It’s always been necessity. It’s been about efficiency and familiarity. Which maybe Buck is reading this all wrong and snuggling up with your best friend and his son after a near-death experience is totally no homo but… come to bed. Come to bed. Like it’s their bed. Like Buck belongs there.

Buck’s ears are ringing while he follows Eddie down the hallway to his bedroom. Their bedroom? He’s losing it.

The hallway light illuminates a strip of the room as they step inside. Buck can see Chris tucked in the sheets, curled into the rumpled spot where Eddie slid out to fetch Buck. This has to mean something, right? They’ve been dancing around and on the edge of something for so long, Buck doesn’t know how to interpret anything anymore. He loves Eddie, though. And probably the only way he’ll sleep right now is if Eddie’s in arm’s reach. So it doesn’t really matter what this is, because Buck will take any scrap of Eddie he can get, not just tonight, but always.

Eddie slips into the bed and scoots forward, leaving a space behind for Buck. Chris makes a heavy, sleepy sound and turns his head into his dad’s shoulder. Carefully, so, so carefully, Buck lowers himself onto the bed and fills the space Eddie made for him.

“What are you doing?” Eddie asks, exasperated.

Buck blinks at the ceiling. “What?”

“Idiot,” Eddie mutters. “Spoon me.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Buck, this bed is small enough as it is with one person. I know you’re hanging half off it right now.”

“You’re not even looking at me.”

“Call it intuition,” Eddie says, dry as the desert.

Buck gingerly turns on his side, his chest just a breath away from Eddie’s back. “I…” He swallows. “Where should I put my arm?”

“Buck, you must have done this before.”

“That’s your bad arm, Eds.”

Eddie shifts a little, his calf coming into contact with Buck’s shin. Buck breaks into a cold sweat.

“Shit, well… under the sling, then. Around my waist?”

Dry, dry, his throat is so dry.

Buck lifts his arm up and drapes it over Eddie’s waist. He shuffles in closer, pressing them together from head to toe. His nose is in Eddie’s hair, his dick is nestled in the curve of Eddie’s ass, his ankles are knocking into Eddie’s. Buck feels like he might reverberate out of his skin.

“You sure you wouldn’t rather have Ana here?” Buck whispers. His mouth is like, one inch from Eddie’s ear.

Eddie turns his head a little, so his ear actually brushes Buck’s lip. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Eddie says, “There’s no one in this world I want here more than you.”

Buck stutters on his next breath.

“I wish it’d been me,” he says, suddenly. Eddie has to know. Eddie probably already knows. Buck’s grateful, so goddamn grateful, that Eddie survived. And sure, part of it is that self-deprecating shit he’s been working through with this therapist: Eddie has more to live for, Eddie has a kid, Eddie is a better man than I’ll ever be. But mostly, it’s far simpler than that.

If Eddie had died, the sniper may as well have shot Buck too. Because Buck doesn’t know how to live without Eddie. He’d found that out ages ago, when he lost Eddie under fifty feet of mud and water.

Eddie’s next words are nearly a growl. “The only good thing to come out of all this,” he says, “is that you didn’t get hurt.”

“What are you—“

“After it happened, when I was… when I was lying there, I—I looked at you. I looked at you, Buck, and I was terrified. Not because I might die, but because if I did, who was going to protect you? Who was going to keep a sniper off your self-sacrificing, heroic ass, and make sure someone came home to Chris? Who was—“ Eddie cut himself off with a sigh. “I was worried about you.”

Buck feels like… like an unbroken, empty tundra. Like a fried electric socket. Like someone dropped him to the very bottom of a very deep well.

“Eddie, Eddie I—“

“Shh,” Eddie murmurs, as Buck shakes apart. As he bends his head to hide his tears in the nape of Eddie’s neck. As he bites his tongue to stay quiet and not wake Chris up. Eddie presses backward into Buck’s hold. “I know, I know.”

“I can’t lose you,” Buck grits out between several halting breaths.

“You won’t,” Eddie says.

“I almost did.”

“You had my back.” Buck’s throat makes an awful, wheezing sound as he fights a losing battle against crying. “You got me out of there. You saved me.”

“I love you,” Buck says, losing the fight against that too.

“Buck… I…” Eddie sounds like someone knocked the wind out of him.

“Sorry,” Buck hurries to say, chest icing over with panic. “Sorry I just—“

“I love you,” Eddie interrupts. “I do. I know it took me a long time to realize, but… I’ve been in love with you, Buck.”

“Oh my god,” Buck says. I mean, what else do you say to that? No wonder Eddie froze up. Buck is in shock. “Is this real?”

“I hope so,” Eddie says. “And if it isn’t, then I’ll just have to tell you when we wake up.”

Buck feels fit to burst with more emotions than he can name. Relief, joy, fear, disbelief, pin-prickly. It feels like another miracle.

“Deal,” Buck says. And places a kiss to the fatal, devastating spot behind Eddie’s ear.

Eddie is the first thing Buck sees when he wakes up. “Good morning” are the first words he hears.

And then:

“Just so you know, I love you.”

#buddie #long post #ray writes #i know nothing about gunshot wounds so sorry if this is wildly inaccurate

[himbobuckbuckley]

build-a-bear (from a wip)

this is a short flashback taken from a wip i may or may not finish but i though it was cute

chris, buck, and eddie go to build-a-bear

Eddie gave him a look when he announced it. Something equal parts exasperated and fond over the top of Chris’ head. Still, he obliged, tagging along to the mall with an excuse of craving a soft pretzel. The food court put them all in good enough spirits that when the Build-A-Bear employee demanded Eddie and Buck jump up and down “to get the bear’s heart beating,” both did so with an enthusiasm only exceeded by Chris and his wild laughter.

Of course, Chris picked out a firefighter uniform for the soft, brown bear he chose. “Just like you and Dad!” he chirped to Buck as they stood in line to pay. Eddie was fumbling with the bear, trying to get the outfit on before they left.

“What should I name him?” Chris asked as Eddie handed him the bear back, uniform neatly in place.

“Well, you’ve already got one Firefighter Diaz in the house, so you might have to get a little creative, bud,” Eddie said, ruffling his hair.

Buck took his card back from the cashier and looked down at the bear. “Is there a pun we could do with Smokey the Bear?”

“Not everything has to be a pun.”

“What's Smokey the Bear?”

“Puns are fun. Why doesn’t your kid know who Smokey is? You’re a firefighter.”

Eddie rolled his eyes, leading them out of the store. “He’s a mascot for the parks service, I think. He tells people not to start fires in the woods.”

“He wears a hat and says, “‘Only you can prevent forest fires.’” Buck affected a deep voice as he mimicked the ads. “He also wears jeans, I think.”

Chris laughed and Eddie shook his head. “Yeah, the jeans are really important.”

“Hey! They could have dressed him up, full forest ranger or firefighter,” at that he gestured to the bear Eddie held for Chris as they walked. “But no. Hat and jeans only.”

“No shoes?” Chris asked.

“No shoes.”

They sat down at a bench, Chris between them, so he could thoroughly inspect his new toy. “I think we should make him a badge like dad’s that says Diaz on it. Then everyone knows he’s my bear and he matches.”

“We should just get him a LAFD badge,” Buck joked. “Heck, we should have him join the team. Probably be better at the ropes.”

“Think so?” Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow over Chris’ head. “Remind me to drop you next time.”

“You’re just jealous that there’s a new firefighter in town.”

“Isn’t that your shtick?”

Buck stuck his tongue out. Chris giggled, looking between the two, hugging the bear to his chest.

“Eddie, no. You're jealous over a teddy bear, Diaz.” Buck opened his mouth to say something else, but cut himself off with a loud gasp.

“What?” Eddie looked alarmed.

“Chris,” Buck said, looking down at the kid who stared up at him with wide eyes. “I just thought of the best name.” Eddie sighed, reaching over Chris to pinch Buck’s shoulder.

“What, Buck?” Chris asked, holding up the bear. Buck leaned in conspiratorially, and Chris followed suit.

“Teddy Diaz.”

Chris let out a peal of giggles, so contagious that Buck couldn’t help but laugh, too. Eddie, however, put his face in his hands and groaned.

“Can we go back to Smokey?”

“Teddy Diaz!” Chris exclaimed, holding the bear up to Eddie. Eddie gave Buck a look over Chris’ head, equal parts exasperated and fond.

"Yeah, yeah." He addressed the bear directly. "Nice to meet you, Teddy Diaz."

#buddie #911 fic #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #buck #eddie #chris #my fic #will i ever publish a fic not in the middle of the night