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Seth and Rihanna Go Day Drinking Jun 20, 2019

Seth and Rihanna spend a day drinking at The Jane Hotel, where they do things like drink Rihanna-themed cocktails, dish out advice to one another and give Seth a Fenty Beauty makeover.

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Originally posted by billhater


You were having the time of your life. No, you were not at a club or anything, you just loved where you worked. You were a writer at SNL and you loved working there. And working with your best friend, John Mulaney, was a plus. Now, working with your undying crush, Bill Hader, was another thing.


It wasn’t love at first sight. No, you thought Bill was attractive but you didn’t start liking him the instant your eyes met his.


When you first started working, you were a nervous wreck. This was your first big break. At that time, John hadn’t auditioned; so you were alone. Bill and Seth Meyers helped you settle down, Bill more than anyone.


Then your childhood best friend joined you after you insisted that he will be great here. And the dynamic duo was back together. Except people very often mistook you and John for a couple. The both of you always laughed at that. He was more of a brother to you than your own brother.


Over the years, you grew close to Bill and everyone noticed. It would be hard no to when two people stare at each other with hearts for eyes. But the two of you were oblivious to each other’s feelings.


Bill loved you. More than anything. He had never met anyone who like true crime as much as him. You were a murder mystery fan and only encouraged him when he started talking about the various true crime shows he watched.


Bill loved Mulaney like he was his own brother. And the two loved to make each other laugh. But Bill hated that Mulaney had you the way Bill wanted.


Bill wanted to hold your hand. He wanted to kiss you. He wanted to wake up every morning next to you. He wanted to make breakfast for you every morning. He wanted to care for you as you cared for him last time he fell sick. He wanted to watch true crime shows with you.


Now, we all know that you and Bill both liked each other, a lot. Afraid of ruining your friendship, you didn’t say anything to each other. But that didn’t mean Bill wouldn’t lose it and yell and spill to John.


Bill had always thought something was going on between you and John. For the last couple of months, the two of you have been whispering to each other, murmuring into each other’s ears. Close wide open, looking around to see if anyone had caught their secret.


So when he saw you leave John’s office, not before giving him a hug, Bill couldn’t help himself and barged in.


“Oh, hey, I was just coming to you. I think you wil—“ John started but didn’t get to finish when Bill started talking over him.


“I hate you. I hate you so much. And I’m so jealous of you.” Bill paces back and forth in the small office. He talked fast with his hands wringing together. “I am so goddamn jealous of you! And I shouldn’t be. Y/n wants to be with you. And you make her happy. So I should be a good friend and be happy for you two. And I am,” Bill pulled the extra chair closer to John and took his hand in his own. His teary eyes looked into John which held a level of confusion even students in math class didn’t have. “I am so happy you two make each other happy. I love you both so much. You’re like my brother. But I can’t help but be jealous. And I’m sorry. I am so sorry.” As Bill closed his eyes shut and took deep breaths to calm himself down, he felt John squeeze his hand.


John, with confusion and worry weighing down on him, rubbed Bill’s back.


“Uh, it is so nice of you to be happy for y/n and I but why are you happy? And jealous?” John was confused.


For the past couple of months, after you had drunkenly confessed your love for Bill to him, he had been encouraging you to confess to Bill. He had come up with many ideas to help you but you had shot them all down.


John was aware that Bill had strong feelings for you too. But he didn’t know the extent. He didn’t know Bill felt this strongly for you. Upon your instructions (and begging) John had restrained himself from asking Bill about his feelings.


“I’m sorry,” Bill cleared his throat. “I-I um..” Bill took the bottle of water from John and chugged it down. “I am happy for you and y/n.”


“We are not together.”


“And I am sorry that I am jealous. I should get over it, move on, and—and I will. I promise.” Bill looked down and saw he was still holding John’s hand tightly and he let go.


“We are not together.”


“And I will never come between you two. I don’t know what I was thinking, barging in here, yelling at you like this. You know I’m not like this. I’m just … I don’t know, I guess .. I’m just … tired. Yeah that’s the word. I’m tired of—of everything and—“


Before Bill could launch into another ramble John decided to end it.


“Bill!” John shook Bill’s shoulders to get his attention. “Bill, y/n and I are not together.”


“What?”


“Yeah, man, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Y/n and I are best friends, we are the dynamic duo, as people like to call us. We don’t call each other that. And she is like my little sister. And I love her but not like that.”


Bill stared at John with a blank stare as the words settled into his brain. Bill opened his mouth to say something but John wasn’t finished talking.


“But you should definitely tell her.”


“What? No!” Bill pushed his seat backwards.


“Yes!”


“No!”


“Why not?” John questioned as he cleaned his desk that was cluttered with the various sketches he had written and was editing.


“Because she doesn’t like me.” Bill sighed.


“How do you know that?”


“I just do.” Bill stood up. “And thank you, man. But I have to go.” He quickly left the room and walked towards his office.




You, John, Seth, and Bill were occupying a table. The rest of the cast of SNL were spread around the bar. After another successful show, everyone came out to celebrate. And you couldn’t miss it. Seeing as you were going, Bill decided to join in.


The four of you were making conversation when someone called Bill who left the table. A couple seconds later, Seth changed the conversation.


“So, when are you telling Bill?” Seth asked as a teasing smile came on his face.


“Tell him what?” You ripped your eyes away from Bill and looked at your companions. John was playing with his napkin, avoiding your eyes and Seth was teasingly smiling.


“You told him!” You smacked John on his arm.


“What? No!” John rubbed the place you had hit him. “I didn’t do anything. It’s just very obvious to everyone.”


“He’s right.”


“Ugh!” You put your head in your hands. “Does Bill know?”


“He is a very oblivious man.” Seth nodded towards Bill where a beautiful woman was flirting with him.


You narrowed your eyes as a frown came over your face.


“Hey,” Seth grabbed your attention and placed his hand over your own. “He likes you. No, no. He’s crazy about you.”


You turned your head towards Bill to see him watching your table. He quickly looked away and nodded at something the woman said.


You swallowed thickly and let the conversation pass on. Soon, you were at the bar, waiting for your drinks. A body placed itself next to yours and you turned your head to see Bill holding his beer.


“Hey,” you said.


“You know Seth has a girlfriend right?” Bill asked you.


“Uh, yeah, I know. We met her that one time she came on set, remember?” You didn’t know where Bill was taking this conversation.


Bill didn’t say anything, only nodding his head. He kept his eyes downward, staring at the countertop.


“Hey,” you placed your hand on this shoulder. “You okay?”


Bill looked into your eyes and nodded.


“Yeah. I’m-I’m fine.”


“You did great.” You smiled widely at him.


“I love you.” Bill blurted out.


As the words settled between the two of you, your has hung open and Bill slapped a hand on his mouth, looking at you with wide eyes. Your brain had shut down the second those words came out.


“I—I I’m sorry.” Bill whispered the words and quickly walked towards the exit.


Your brain kickstarted and you immediately followed him. Your eyes scanned the area and found John and Seth still at the table. Your eyes zeroed in on Bills jacket.


You dashed towards the table, grabbed your and Bill’s jacket. Ignoring the questions coming from the two, you rushed towards the exit. As you came out, a strong gust of wind knocked into you. You hurriedly put on your jacket as you looked around for Bill.


When you found him, you yelled out his name. Bill immediately stopped when he heard your voice.


You bounded in front of him and held out his jacket.


“You forgot your jacket.” You handed him his jacket and he put it on. “I can’t believe you were going to walk home without a jacket in this cold.”


“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve forgotten my jacket.” Bill tried to make a joke but failed miserably. “Well, I should… I should go.” He sidestepped you and walked forward.


“Do you?” You didn’t move from your spot as you put your hands in your jacket pocket.


“What?” Bill turned around.


“Do you love me?” You turned to face him as you asked this question.


Bill thought over the question. If he says yes, he could potentially ruin your friendship. But what John had said rang in his head. If he says no, there is a chance you can salvage your friendship.


As Bill debated on what to do, he looked in your eyes and he was a goner.


“Yes,” Bill said the words without thinking.


“I love you too.” You said as a smile came on your face.


“Really?” Bill questioned. Pure joy could be seen on his face.


“Really.” You said and closed the distances between you two.


You put your hand on Bill’s face and closed the distance, placing a soft kiss on his lips. You two pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes.


Oh how you loved his eyes.


And his smile.


And — and everything about him.


Bill placed his hand on the back of your neck and pulled you in. He kissed you with all his might. Your toes curled in your shoes and you moved your hands in his hair.


You returned the passion. You pulled away, took a deep breath and went back in. Your mouths moved in sync and you two stood chest to chest.


The two of you stood on the sidewalk, in the dark, cold wind blowing away, just holding onto each other.




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sometimes when i get sad, i remember facts about the snl character stefon zolesky. here are some fun ones that made me smile today:

- his mother is ms stefon

- his father is david bowie

- his dog is named bark ruffalo

- he canonly married seth meyers in his final episode but he was originally going to marry anderson cooper. seth realized his feelings towards stefon and objected to the wedding and they got married instead

- he described his pose with his hands on his face as “a tent for his secrets”

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- his lawyer is named shy and isn’t only a lawyer; he’s also a “conceptual piss artist”

- oh shy is also played by john mulaney wearing a latex suit

- his brother was played in a sketch by ben affleck

- john mulaney wrote for the character with bill hader and would often change his lines right before the bit in order to catch bill off guard and make him laugh. bill would always apologize for laughing after

- john mulaney said that he thought the character was too weird and that he’d be cut

- stefon lives in a trash can outside of the radioshack at 23rd and 7th

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