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#seven stories
sevenfactorial · 1 year
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Any algorithm can be a black box algorithm if you're too lazy to read the documentation
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lokust · 1 year
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can u do lee!ed and ler! anyone where ed is being annoying on purpose and they tickle him as revenge? no worries if u don’t want to, thanks!!
IS THIS LEE!ED AS IN OFMD?? AS IN PIRATE ED? BECAUSE OH MY GOD ANON YOU JUST MADE MY WHOLE DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN OFMD REQUEST FOR FUCKING EVER AND I WOULD LOVE TO WRITE THIS
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downthetubes · 2 years
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Tove Jansson retrospective “Illustrators” book released
Tove Jansson retrospective “Illustrators” book released
Just out from Thames & Hudson UK is Tove Jansson (The Illustrators) by Paul Gravett, an appreciation of the life and art of Tove Jansson, creator of the much-loved Moomin books. Tove Jansson drew her first Moomin on an outhouse wall, before committing Moominvalley to the page in the 1940s. This book offers a fresh, insightful appreciation of her life and art, from imaginative child to art…
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watchyourbuck · 13 days
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I don’t think yall understand how meaningful it is to have Oliver say “when you close your eyes it all feels the same” (kissing on screen). The fact that he doesn’t laugh it off, or say he had to push through it, or that it was a little weird like other actors have in the past is so incredibly important. This is him portraying a character and his sexuality, and it’s so validating to have the actor do his job the way Oliver has, in such a caring, positive way. It’s the feeling of finally belonging, of blending in when you’ve been marginalized and picked out all your life. Love is love, and a kiss is just a kiss.
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artist-issues · 9 months
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I Hate How She Talks About Snow White
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"People are making these jokes about ours being the PC Snow White, where it's like, yeah, it is − because it needed that. It's an 85-year-old cartoon, and our version is a refreshing story about a young woman who has a function beyond 'Someday My Prince Will Come. "
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Let me tell you a little something's about that "85-year-old cartoon," miss Zegler.
It was the first-ever cel-animated feature-length full-color film. Ever. Ever. EVER. I'm worried that you're not hearing me. This movie was Disney inventing the modern animated film. Spirited Away, Into the Spider-Verse, Tangled, you don't get to have any of these without Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937.)
Speaking of what you wouldn't get without this movie, it includes anime as a genre. Not just in technique (because again, nobody animated more than shorts before this movie) but in style and story. Anime, as it is now, wouldn't exist without Osamu Tezuka, "The God of Manga," who wouldn't have pioneered anime storytelling in the 1940s without having watched and learned from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs in the 1930s. No "weeb" culture, no Princess Mononoke, no DragonBall Z, no My Hero Academia, no Demonslayer, and no Naruto without this "85-year-old cartoon."
It was praised, not just for its technical marvels, not just for its synchronized craft of sound and action, but primarily and enduringly because people felt like the characters were real. They felt more like they were watching something true to life than they did watching silent, live-action films with real actors and actresses. They couldn't believe that an animated character could make kids wet their pants as she flees, frightened, through the forest, or grown adults cry with grieving Dwarves. Consistently.
Walt Disney Studios was built on this movie. No no; you're not understanding me. Literally, the studio in Burbank, out of which has come legends of this craft of animated filmmaking, was literally built on the incredible, odds-defying, record-breaking profits of just Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, specifically.
Speaking of record-breaking profits, this movie is the highest-grossing animated film in history. Still. TO THIS DAY. And it was made during the Great Depression.
In fact, it made four times as much money than any other film, in any other genre, released during that time period. It was actually THE highest-grossing film of all time, in any genre, until nothing less than Gone With the Wind, herself, came along to take the throne.
It was the first-ever animated movie to be selected for the National Film Registry. Actually, it was one of the first movies, period, to ever go into the registry at all. You know what else is in the NFR? The original West Side Story, the remake of which is responsible for Rachel Ziegler's widespread fame.
Walt Disney sacrificed for this movie to be invented. Literally, he took out a mortgage on his house and screened the movie to banks for loans to finish paying for it, because everyone from the media to his own wife and brother told him he was crazy to make this movie. And you want to tell me it's just an 85-year-old cartoon that needs the most meaningless of updates, with your tender 8 years in the business?
Speaking of sacrifice, this movie employed over 750 people, and they worked immeasurable hours of overtime, and invented--literally invented--so many new techniques that are still used in filmmaking today, that Walt Disney, in a move that NO OTHER STUDIO IN HOLLYWOOD was doing in the 30's, put this in the opening credits: "My sincere appreciation to the members of my staff whose loyalty and creative endeavor made possible this production." Not the end credits, like movies love to do today as a virtue-signal. The opening credits.
It's legacy endures. Your little "85-year-old cartoon" sold more than 1 million DVD copies upon re-release. Just on its first day. The Beatles quoted Snow White in one of their songs. Legacy directors call it "the greatest film ever made." Everything from Rolling Stones to the American Film Institute call this move one of the most influential masterpieces of our culture. This movie doesn't need anything from anybody. This movie is a cultural juggernaut for America. It's a staple in the art of filmmaking--and art, in general. It is the foundation of the Walt Disney Company, of modern children's media in the West, and of modern adaptations of classical fairy tales in the West. When you think only in the base, low, mean terms of "race" and "progressivism" you start taking things that are actually worlds-away from being in your league to judge, and you relegate them to silly ignorant phrases like "85-year-old cartoon" to explain why what you're doing is somehow better.
Sit down and be humble. Who the heck are you?
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reputayswift · 6 months
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Taylor Swift Songs as Books You Can't Put Down (2/?)
You're On Your Own, Kid as Daisy Jones & The Six August as People We Meet On Vacation Seven as Wuthering Heights Hoax as The Wicked King The Story of Us as Pride & Prejudice I Bet You Think About Me as You Deserve Each Other
insp. ( 1 2 3)
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novelconcepts · 6 months
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Fall of the House of Usher has everything, tbh. Seven Deadly Sins family. Everyone’s queer. No one has a moral compass. Nightmare goblin energy everywhere. The most grotesque deaths you’ve ever seen. Hilarious snark. The hottest women in the world. Carla Gugino in fifteen different wigs. Violent lesbians. Cats coming out on top. Cool tattoos. Orgiastic vibes. Katie Parker being Just A Lady, for once. Terrific hair. A granddaughter who takes no shit. Intimacy issues galore. Storytime. Storytime. Storytime.
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shkika · 10 months
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Blessed to have you.
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midnightsslut · 1 month
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actually maybe folklore is an album about looking back on all the things that have made you go from a wild, innocent, open child to a damaged, pained, often duplicitous adult
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kjdkive · 9 months
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couple questions with vogue — jjk.
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summary: yn, world-famous model and jungkook world-famous artist are invited as a couple to answer some questions for vogue on a video. both known to be a chaotic couple are expected to show their competitive side.
pairing: idol! jungkook and model! yn (afab)
warnings: cursing, some dirty jokes? jungkook being the best boyfriend ever i want him so bad, third person narration
a/n: thinking about doing this for some other bts members but not really sure lol let's see how this one goes and go from there. also i used to be a wattpad writer and there we use — not " and i actually hate writing dialogues with " oh and also i mention a few things that are not true about jungkook but this is my universe and in this universe that happened yn happened
— hello, vogue! i’m yn and it’s so nice to be back here — yn says to the camera. 
— hello, i’m yn’s boyfriend, jungkook — jungkook says, smiling to the camera — i am also in a band but not that that matters. 
— i’m your fianceé, babe, remember? — yn lifts her left hand to show her engagement ring.
— she’s my soon-to-be wife, guys — jungkook giggles and stands up from his seat a little to give her a short kiss on her cheek.
— okay, my boyfriend’s humble as you can see but we’ll see if he’s a good boyfriend/fiancé because we’re gonna do the couple questions challenge! — an assistant hands her some cards with the questions on them — are you nervous, babe? 
— not at all, i actually think i’m gonna crush you — jungkook responds. 
— confident much? — yn asks. 
— dude, come on, let’s go, i’m ready. 
video cuts abruptly to the intro, showing a few pictures of the couple and jungkook’s seven playing in the back. 
question no.1 for jungkook: how did you first meet? 
— it was at a party in L.A. — jungkook replies — june 28th, 2017. she was wearing a black dress and her favorite manolo heels because she told me that the same night, also her purse from a special chanel collection because she told me it gave her luck. 
— it definitely did, baby — yn couldn’t stop smiling — it made me met you, so bless the chanel bag. so, answer’s correct! 
— ever since that night i fell in love and my band members were sick of me talking about her. 
— just want to say that it took him two months to ask me on a date — yn laughs — like i literally said no to a few guys in those two months because i was waiting for him to ask me out and when he did i just told him “finally, bro.” 
— you guys don’t understand, she was and still is too pretty for me — jungkook whined, making yn laugh — i thought she was gonna say no and also tell me that she doesn’t date ugly guys? 
— weren’t you literally like on the top 5 of the hottest guys of the world? — yn asks him and he stops. 
— i think i was? i don’t remember. 
— of course you don’t, darling. next question. 
jungkook: 1 
yn: 0
question no.2 for yn: who initiated the first kiss? 
— oh! oh! this one’s good — yn says — i did! and it was a mess.
— no, you didn’t — jungkook tells her. 
— oh, yes, i did because you were shaking when you grabbed my face and you literally froze so i was like “well, let ME do this” and then i was the one to grab your face and kiss you — yn points at him. 
— okay, fine, i did froze but you tasted like fish — jungkook starts — and although i love fish, tasting it from someone else’s mouth isn’t that delicious. 
— you had just taken me out to eat sushi! what were you expecting? — yn asks him — besides, you tasted like banana because you had to eat your banana dessert of course. 
— guys, if you ever go out on a date and you think you’re gonna kiss — jungkook looks at the camera — do not take them to eat fish or pasta because else they’ll get pesto on their teeth or their breath will smell like fish. 
— oh, right — yn laughs  — in one of our dates you got pesto on your teeth. 
— stop, i don’t wanna remember how you had to get me a tooth pick cause i couldn’t get it out — jungkook rolls his eyes and yn keeps on laughing at him — if your girl gets you a tooth pick, marry her, that’s what i’m gonna do in a few months — he winks at the camera and laughs at yn blushing. 
jungkook: 1
yn: 1
question no.3: which songs did jungkook write about yn? 
— now this is a good one because you always get confused — jungkook laughs — which songs did i write about you? 
— still with you, dimple, love maze, home, seven the explicit and clean version — yn winks at the camera. 
— babe! — jungkook blushes and giggles.
— oh, so you can be no.1 on billboard, mind you the explicit version but your girlfriend can’t talk about it? 
— don’t get off topic, finish the list — jungkook laughs again — and you’re my fiancée, not girlfriend. 
— okay, fine — yn moves on her seat — your part in my universe, dna, paradise, best of me, my you and that’s it. 
— WRONG! — jungkook yells at her and stands up from his seat to jump and laugh at her — you’re a loser! 
— jungkook, what? i got them all correct! shut up! 
— you forgot the one i have performed the most! — jungkook stands in front of the camera — vogue subscribers, my wife doesn’t love me. 
— oh my god! — yn yells — i forgot euphoria and jesus christ, jungkook, sit down now, stop being dramatic. 
— how dare you forget the amazing and unforgettable euphoria? 
— i’m sorry, my love, please forgive me for i have made an awful mistake — yn holds his hand. 
— i shall forgive you. 
— thank you, my king. 
— i love you — jungkook kisses her hand and doesn’t let go of it — but i’ll never forget this. 
jungkook: 1
yn: 1 
question no.4: what are the top 3 celeb crushes of yn? 
— this one’s so easy — jungkook says — it’s matthew mcconaughey, chris evans and bradley cooper but as his character in the hangover. 
— wrong — yn laughs. 
— yn, you know i’m not wrong, those are your top 3. 
— babe, you’re a celebrity too, you’re my no.1. 
— don’t lie, yn, i’m not your celeb crush. 
— yup, you’re right — yn gives up — he got the answer right, whatever, next question. 
jungkook: 2
yn: 1
question no.5: when jungkook first started as an artist, what did he do to calm his nerves when he performed? 
— I PRAYED — jungkook yells before yn can say her answer — I PRAYED AND I PRAYED. 
— he didn’t — yn looks at the camera with a serious expression. 
— YES, I DID — jungkook sits back on his seat — I DID. i did. 
— can you shut up now? — yn asks him — he used to- — yn gets cut off. 
— PRAY. HE USED TO PRAY. — jungkook yells again and all yn does is stand up from her seat and put her hand on jungkook’s mouth. 
— he’s licking my hand right now but i couldn’t care less — yn still had a serious expression — he used to touch his bandmates’ butts and when they would question him he’d say “nothing better than your butts, you guys!” 
— she’s wrong — jungkook says. 
— jungkook, ew, you left my hand freaking wet — yn wipes her hand on jungkook’s shirt — and yes, i’m right, you can call up jimin and he’ll tell you i’m right. 
jungkook: 2 
yn: 2 
question no.6: yn has a scar and has had a broken arm, how did both happen? 
— on her chin — jungkook replies fastly. yn nods and lifts her head to show up her chin. — that’s like the only one from an ugly accident the other ones are just her being silly cause she has some scars, blame of our cats when she tries to shower them and another one from when she was trying to make some chicken nuggets on the air fryer last month and she burned herself.
— he’s correct. 
— the broken arm… she told me she was playing outside when she was in kindergarten and she fell and broke her arm, she also told me the school didn’t call her parents right away and waited until her grandma picked her up from school but she took her to the hospital right away. sadly, they didn’t sue the school because they’re good people, the teachers weren’t. 
— that story is also correct. 
— ugh, so tiring being the best boyfriend/future husband out there — jungkook sighs. 
jungkook: 3
yn: 2 
question no.7: how many tattoos does jungkook have? which one was for yn? 
— jesus christ — yn says — i kid you not, jungkook doesn’t even know how many he has himself. 
— i don’t know the total number but i do have a close number, if she reaches it she’ll get the answer right. 
— fine, uhm, the eye he had before was my eye but i told him to cover it because it was done really bad like the eyelashes and the color were a mess but there are other ones about me, the thunderbolts and the flower on your elbow, right? 
— yes — he nods with a smile. 
— and i think, you have a total of 21? 22? with the new seven tattoo behind your ear i think so, yeah. 
— she’s not close in the number but she’s right about the tattoos about her — he smiles at her. 
jungkook: 3
yn: 3 
question no.8: what are yn’s favorite hobbies? 
— reading, learning languages and trying out new restaurants everywhere she goes. 
— that is correct. 
— she’s currently reading beach read but her favorite book is the portrait of dorian gray because my girl is into classics but they have to be a little gay; she speaks 4 languages those being english, italian, korean of course and french. the latest new restaurant she went was momofuko ko here in new york and she loved it.  
— i love you — yn couldn’t stop smiling as she got close to jungkook to give him a little kiss.
— i love you more — he said, after kissing her back. 
jungkook: 4 
yn: 3 
question no. 9: what is jungkook’s pet peeve? 
— damn, he has a lot — yn laughs — but i can name a few. 
— i don’t have a lot! 
— oh yeah? — yn asks and then turns at the camera — jungkook can’t eat if he notices people being loud while chewing but he is the loudest chew-er ever, he gets mad if whoever is driving doesn’t know how to park and oh! he despises when people walk slow but he had to be patient with me because i am a slow walker. 
— she’s really slow but since i love her i can be patient with her. 
— thank you, means a lot. 
jungkook: 4
yn: 4 
question no.10 (final question, decides the winner): if yn hadn’t been a model, what would’ve she been? 
— oh, my girl’s born to shine — jungkook holds her hand — because she wanted to be a UN ambassador when she was young because she loved learning languages. 
— oh my god, i did! — yn intertwines her fingers with jungkook’s — but i don’t even remember telling him about this. 
— you said that on an interview but you also said that to me when we were on one of our first dates — he smiles at her. 
— i did? 
— you said you saw it on tv — jungkook nods — and that you wanted to travel the world like them. but now you travel around the world as a model, either way you were gonna be successful. 
— reached full success now that i’m marrying you. — yn kisses him — i guess you won. 
the interviewer behind the camera asked them if they wanted to say anything else before finishing the video.
— my soon-to-be husband has released a song called seven, not that it needs promotion because the song's killing it but if you haven't listened to it you should, the song saves lives.
— yeah, i released a song, i wrote it and it was just for her — jungkook smiles — my girl is also releasing her own clothing line so make sure to check that out too — jungkook points at the camera — and before we finish i want to say i won, yn lost — jungkook looks at the camera with a serious expression — vogue subscribers, i am here to tell you again that yn is a loser and i will write on my wedding vows to always call her a loser until death do us apart. 
yn hits him on his arm and jungkook giggles.
— i hate you, jungkook. 
— i love you too, my sweetie cutie pie, come here.
jungkook brings her in for another kiss.
— thank you, vogue! see you next time — jungkook says while squishing yn's cheek with his own cheek.
— save me — yn mouths.
and the video finishes.
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sevenfactorial · 1 year
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Me, trying to find a pair of socks but instead having a single of many different pairs of socks: pigeon hole will kick in eventually. Eventually. Please.
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azural83 · 1 year
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The way these would've slayed the box office if they were released today...
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delugguk · 9 months
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4:17am || jungkook
genre: drabble.
word count: 700 (lmao 7)
author note: this is not edited.
he deep breathes. “I like your waist a lot.” as you’re hugging on top of him while he traces his fingers onto your lines.
jungkook is the type to kiss your waist whenever he got the time to. there’s nothing he loved more than to kiss all over your entire body. it was like a monument for him. his favorite place to stay, his favorite piece of art. like he always says.
“‘want to eat you whole. you have no idea.” he snorts to himself with a little cheeky but shy smile. you wondered how he managed to look so cute but hot at the same time every time he did that.
he liked sex with you so much.
hard.
hard and wild sex.
messy sex in specific.
even though his angelic but sinful (at times) face doesn’t really show that.. jungkook’s very crazy and passionate about sex. but don’t get this wrong.. he it isn’t to the point of him being obsessive. — he says that not just anybody can make him be this turned on. said he has only felt this horny for you.
you believed him.
not because he had those pretty doe eyes once he told you but because ever since you started dating jungkook, he has always showed you how sincere he was with whatever he did or even said. telling you about how much he doesn’t get why people have the necessity to lie when it comes to relationships or anything else, really. - that actually was a very nice conversation you both had that you’re surely telling whoever is reading this letter, later.
he enjoyed eating you out and god damnit how much you loved that too.
he lays your body down while his kissing your tummy and waist. every time he did that you already knew what was coming next. — his piercing.. his new one in specific, you could feel it hit your clit whenever he kissed you there each. time.
smirking about it, he always did that whenever your legs glitched.. god. he even spits on it, you adored how much he wasn’t afraid of getting so messy even his chin shined of how wet you are.
not feeling even embarrassed, you could never feel that way with him. feeling him as your own cozy home, he truly is your safe place. could never get embarrassed in front of him with these type of things.. but you do are whenever he randomly compliments you..
“turn around and close your legs. want to see your ass while I fuck you like this.”
his dirty mouth.. he should shut up, but not actually.
you do as he says.
“mmh this is what I wanted.” he hisses once he opens your pussy with both fingers. very slightly. your arousal sticking to your walls just like glue is what turns him on the most. “I’m the only one who gets you like this, huh?”
he slap-grabs your ass. only making you arch your ass a little.
“fuck” he whispers more to himself.
when his dick is full out and angry slightly red, he can’t help but stroke it with your arousal before entering you. he’s playful, you hated-loved that.
pushing your ass so he can finally enter, he smirks getting the memo. a soft moan falling down his lips when he does.
he goes deep and slow. just how you like it. he preferred going a little hard but strangely enough, whenever it came to this particularly position, he always liked going so deep and slow. said you wrapped around him even better.
you could feel him full. pussy lips wrapping around him just the way he loved it. you cummed and he continued to fuck you. he cummed and still continued to fuck you. the creampie just going crazy for him, it turns him on so badly and you know that when jungkook gets like that it’s dangerous.
dangerous because of his energy and stamina. a horny jungkook is very.. dangerous.
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okay I’m ending it here lmaosososksk
I guess part two will start with “a horny jungkook is very.. dangerous.”
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bunniebi · 2 months
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Seven @ the diner (+ my mc)
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Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.
Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince
NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE
That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.
Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~
Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:
~
Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.
Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.
But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.
All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.
Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.
As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.
Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.
"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."
Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.
But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"
So this was the famous Arabeth.
"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."
The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.
He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.
"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.
"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"
And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.
It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?
Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"
She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"
"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"
"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"
"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."
"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.
"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"
Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.
Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."
"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.
Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?
But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.
It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.
By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.
"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.
"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."
"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.
"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"
Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.
Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.
She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"
"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."
She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"
"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.
"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"
This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.
You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."
But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."
She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"
"No! I'm marrying the prince!"
Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.
"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"
She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."
Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."
Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."
"Dad don't-"
"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.
He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."
"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."
"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."
"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"
"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.
He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.
Now all he had to do was ask.
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