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helenazbmrskai · 3 years

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It’s all timing - pjm

– If you’re searching for a light and fluffy read well, this won’t be your cup of tea so continue with caution darlings! –

Title – It’s all timing

Pairing – cold husband! Jimin x clocksmith! OC

Genre – fantasy, romance, extreme amount of angst, time travel, smut, marriage, established relationship, Ceo, exes to lovers

Summary – I learnt the hard way that marriage can change a person. I would have never thought that an old watch will let me have a glimpse of my ex-husband’s world but don’t be mistaken I’m not here to fix things. I’m here to change it.

Warning(s) – Jimin is not a loveable character here (until way way later), cheating, mentions of emotional abuse and manipulation, falling in and out of love, the past and present clash a lot, different timelines that may be confusing, this is going to be a wild ride girls and boys, themes of depression and sadness, feeling of worthlessness, and self-image distortion, numbness, discussion of not wanting to have children. Unedited.

Word Count – (5.2k)

[21st March 2021]

Things between us were not always complicated. Our friendship was always exceptional even when friends fought and sought different ways after freshman year at the local Community College, Jimin and I were glued to each other’s side and maybe that’s why no one was surprised as we announced our plans to get married after we graduated.

The new world that greeted us after we finished high school only seemed meaningful because I had Jimin by my side. At that time I had no idea I’ll fall for him this hard, he literally became the extension of myself, my arms and limbs and the lungs that kept me alive. He was my first serious boyfriend even though I dated a few guys here and there before him but none of those relationships seemed to work out either because of me or the guy. Jimin is someone who could easily have his ways with words so when he decided to show interest in me as in more than friends, it was inevitable that I would give in. He was a wonderful lover in the beginning. Passionate and loving, we had many movie nights that ended up with his hands down my pants as his thick fingers rubbed my clit. He bought me flowers and comforted me when I had a bad day.

His cunning smile could get him out of a lot of trouble. Maybe that’s why I never saw the other side of him that sometimes peeked through his carefully crafted mask. I decided to ignore all the red flags until I found myself in a loveless marriage with a man that I couldn’t recognise anymore. Once I realised what had happened it was already too late.

[12nd November 2018]

Jimin hated the fact that I was a heavy sleeper. He even threatened me once that he’ll sleep in the guest room if he had to wake up one more time to my alarm relentlessly ringing while I showed no signs of waking up any time soon.

My workspace was on the other side of town. The rent was cheap so it was worth the extra miles and the full tank of gas in my car but because of it I had to wake up extra early so I could finish showering then I would go to the kitchen to make lunch for Jimin to take with him to work and still have enough time to get ready with a freshly brewed coffee in one hand and toast in the other. Even after our first year in marriage passed by like a flash, Jimin continued to be his affectionate self, he showered me with kisses and felt needy for my touch.

It was one of our best years together. Jimin started to get more involved with his father’s company and my workshop began to gain more popularity to my greatest surprise. While I was working on an old clock that was brought into my shop by an old married couple a few hours ago my focus kept wandering back to this morning. Smiling under my nose as I thought back to why I was late to open up my little workshop this particular morning.

Jimin likes to be spontaneous he always calls me a bore when I hesitate to try out new things but this time he did not have to do much convincing before I agreed. It was weirdly satisfying to wake up to Jimin’s head buried between the juncture of my thighs, shaking and aroused even though I couldn’t feel or hear him do all those sinful things to me while I was asleep. I didn’t feel him take off my panties or lift the covers to expose my bare centre to his hungry eyes and when our gazes met he proudly told me how well I took his fingers even while I was unconscious.

Experimenting was not something I was willing to do before Jimin showed me the appeal of trying out new things. With him by my side, I felt invincible like I could conquer the world if he stays next to me holding my hand tight.

We outlived all expectations. They said high school sweethearts don’t last, well, we did. Even though both of our parents were against the idea of us marrying each other so young we ended up doing just that. Jimin proposed after we got our diploma and I said yes. We lived together as roommates throughout all those years we spent together studying and we moved in together after both of us got our first jobs as postgrads.

I was happy it felt like we were at the top of the world but if I had known that after that year everything will go downhill I would have tried to be happier.

[24th December 2019]

Do you know what are the telltales of cheaters? Well, it starts with subtle changes in his behaviour, you begin to see him less he makes up excuses of having too much work to do or stress so that he could avoid your advances.

He tries to make it up to you with expensive gifts but they mean nothing after the tenth impersonal present because all you would ever want is his attention and love instead of those pathetic attempts of showing their devotion with empty words. The last and most important one on the list is the new anonymous contact on his phone that shows several phone calls and text messages back and forth for hours.

Jimin did all of those.

He stopped experimenting with me. He would fuck me from behind even when I told him I want to see his face. No foreplay, no more cute nose kisses and breathless laughs between the acts of lust and playful wandering fingers.

He no longer cared if I finished first or not at all because after he was done it meant it was over. Jimin took a shower and crawled into bed facing away from me now that this task was taken care of. After the fifth time that he left me hanging, I gathered all the courage that’s left in me to stop his hands from dipping under my pants. I felt disgusted and used he made me think I’m a mere fucktoy that he can discard once it lost its appeal.

I had one of the worst days at work. The clock I was working on was missing a crucial part that I could only import from abroad and the man who wanted it fixed told me to don’t bother because he can’t afford such an expensive repair. It was not something that I could control, the clock was antique for fucks sake. He left without paying for my services even though I told him it was not the only part that I needed to change.

On my way home, a drunk man almost crashed into me with his Sedan and it left me a little shaken up, it was justified to feel the way I was and when Jimin tried to make a move on me by groping my breasts without asking permission first I just snapped.

Not one to back up he snapped right back and it led to one of our ugliest fights. I couldn’t believe the words he so carelessly let out from between those poisonous lips. We had quarrels before every couple has that, it’s normal to disagree to some extents but he went too far this time around. It’s not just the words that left me a crying mess on our bedroom floor with snot stuffing my nostrils, sniffing and rubbing the tears from my swollen eyes. I broke down once I heard the front door shut with a force that made the windows shake. It was past midnight when I heard shuffling and muffled voices, I knew Jimin was back so I cracked the door open just enough to peek into the dark living room.

It was not just Jimin, the smell of alcohol penetrated my nostrils as I watched my husband with disgust, making out with a girl in our shared apartment. I couldn’t believe the audacity he had to bring this chick back where we’re supposed to live together, it was just too much. Hearing him ram into her from the guest bedroom while I cried in our shared bedroom with just one wall separating us. I bet he didn’t even hear the front door closing while I dialled my friend’s number to pick me up. He couldn’t have heard that over that girl’s loud moaning.

I don’t remember when I finally stopped crying in my friend’s arms. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her what happened. It was enough humiliation to witness my once loving husband come home with a quick fuck after a fight, it doesn’t matter that he was reeking of expensive shots of alcohol. It didn’t make his actions any less painful.

My heart broke into a million more pieces when I saw him calling me the next day. I didn’t have the guts to pick up, all I could see was him kissing another girl. I bet he was so drunk that he couldn’t remember anything, I wonder if he yelled at the girl in the morning to get the fuck out once he realised it’s not me who lays beside him. Wishful thinking on my part, he probably fucked her in the morning too just before he called me.

Somi finds my body doubled over her toilet throwing up water since it’s been a while I last ate. She helps me through it and gently gathers my hair into a loose ponytail so I won’t get any in my hair as beads of sweat and tears are rolling down my face. My body works on autopilot going through the cleaning motions as I take a burning hot shower and then lay down to get some rest. My body aches and the fatigue is evident in every lazy flutter of my lashes.

I hear his voice, pleading to my friend to let him see me. Now it’s dark outside, it must be hours that I slept through. Somi denies that I’m here and I’m thankful for her quick understanding, the last thing I want right now is to face him. Even though I never told her what happened between us she could sense that it’s more than just a little lovers quarrel.

Our second anniversary would have been next month but instead of roses and kisses next to a dimly lit dinner table, there’s only a big envelope with papers. Divorce papers. The first time he sees me after a month of silence is to have his signature that would end this relationship for good. Today should have been a nice memory filled with laughter and passionate lovemaking. Maybe we were never meant to find each other. Better off as friends, these simple yet powerful words might have saved our future back then if one of us were brave enough to say it.

Jimin looks worn out, it’s obvious he rushed here from his office once you called, he wears his formal attire. He didn’t think you would show up even though it’s supposed to be the day that you should celebrate another year of marriage.

The papers lay heavy on his side of the table as he skims through the content he sees that you already signed your part. He picks up the pen that I prepared in advance, his hands are shaking almost crushing the poor stationery in half with the strength that he holds it.

”I don’t want to d-divorce.” It’s the first sentence that he says to me. His lips are quivering and fat tears are rolling down his cheeks by the time he dares to look into my eyes. I’m however are past the point of shedding crocodile tears. I cried over him enough times to make my face feel numb and puffy with the amount of sadness that poured out of my body in pathetic waves. I can’t keep eye contact for long as his face keeps reminding me of that night I tried so hard to erase from my memory this past month. A part of me is furious seeing him cry, he was the one who sealed out fate. He has no right to feel sad or plead with me to give him another chance.

”If you ever loved me, you will sign it. I give you a week to do the right thing.” With those last words, our anniversary ended.

[13rd October 2020]

”It’s been a whole year after your divorce, don’t you think it’s time to get yourself out there again?” So this is why she wanted to see me I realise.

I know Somi means well, but I dread those words coming out of her mouth every once in a while. If I think about it she was always good at choosing the worst timing to bring the subject up. She’s not aware that this particular day holds a lot of those sour memories that I once cherished. This day was once one of the most important days to me, to us.

Today is Jimin’s Birthday, it’s the first time since we became friends and then later lovers that we don’t spend this day together anymore. I don’t know how to feel about it yet. I used this new year to heal from my wounds that the love of my life left behind. Getting used to living alone after living with someone for so long was tough. I caught myself making more food than I needed or when I was shopping I got those yoghurts that Jimin loves so much even though I’ve always hated the taste of those. I end up throwing them out at home. I blocked his number and any kind of social media that I could think of from the top of my head. The silence between us was crushing at first, I thought that there are no more tears left to shed but when I got our divorce papers from my attorney I couldn’t stop the new waves of tears from escaping.

Yet all my efforts seem to be in vain as my mind keeps going back to him. I catch myself wondering how he’s doing. If he feels as shitty as me even after a full year apart. If he ever wished things would have been different between us. I just wanted to know if he ever regretted destroying our marriage because of another girl. I don’t know if they are together or not or if he dates her now that I’m out of the picture but it’s better left this way. I’m already heartbroken, seeing him again would just open up my barely healed wounds.

”Can we not talk about this today? I’m feeling kinda low right now.” I sigh, shaking my head habitually if only it would make me stop thinking about him. There’s an old fashioned watch with a silver-coated socket in front of me, it’s pretty. A middle-aged woman brought it to me today telling me that it was a gift from his grandfather but it was never in working condition. She went to several locksmiths over the years but no one could fix it so she asked at last that I would be willing to pay for it. I found it interesting so I agreed to buy it from her. I started working on the old watch and at the beginning, it didn’t want to tick even when I made the necessary changes. I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with it when seemingly it didn’t have anything that needed to be fixed.

On my way home after a rough day at work, I bought some soju from the corner convenience store so I could at least get drunk enough to sleep through the whole night. The pills my therapist prescribed for me doesn’t seem to work at all nowadays.

I placed the watch down onto my bedside table and pulled the comforter over my drunk head. I heard the loud ticking of a clock but I don’t remember having one on the wall. I thought that my drunk mind probably was still hung up on the fact that I couldn’t even fix a simple watch so I shrugged the noises off and closed my eyes until red dots filled my vision.

I just need some sleep.

[13rd November 2018]

”Wake up, baby. You’ll be late again.” There’s a kiss on my shoulder then on my temple as warm hands turn me around in bed. It feels oddly familiar to have two hands around my waist that pulls me into a hard chest, blond fluffy hair fills my vision once my eyelashes flutter open.

I’m back in our shared bedroom at his lavish apartment that’s a lot better than the shitty apartment that I was able to afford after our messy divorce. Divorce? Wait. A. Fucking. Minute. What is Jimin doing here holding me? It’s been too long that I saw him but he looks oddly young here, the Jimin I last saw started to get wrinkles and lost a bit of weight but this man reminds me of the boy I fell in love with. I remember getting drunk last night but I’m sure even at the state I was in I couldn’t get here on my own and I don’t remember getting a taxi or even getting up from my bed last night. I frantically search for my phone that I conveniently find on the nightstand, speechless as I watch Jimin stretch like we just didn’t share a bed together after one year of not seeing each other. He shouldn’t look so relaxed while I panic internally.

Then I see the date as my phone screen activates with my touch. I don’t use this phone anymore, I got another one after I blocked Jimin’s number because this device was a birthday present from him that kept reminding me of, well, him so I decided to change it even though I couldn’t afford a similar model like this with my single salary. I remember this day like it only happened yesterday it was around the time that he got a good position at his father’s company and we were both invited to a found raiser event. I bought this beautiful red dress that he eagerly ripped off of me once we were back at home slightly buzzed on the champagne.

It doesn’t make sense though. The only explanation that I can come up with is that I might be still drunk and I’m hallucinating of some sort after all it was just yesterday that Jimin’s birthday made me think about us again.

I lock myself into the bathroom. Sighing in relief once I am able to get away from Jimin’s inquiring eyes. He looked so confused when I refused to kiss him on the lips. I always kissed him goodbye before I went to work when things were still good between us. I just don’t know what to make of things right now, I’m so confused. It doesn’t feel like a dream at all and Jimin acts like he’s my husband rather than my ex-husband who cheated on me.

I splash some water on my face to calm down my nerves and I gasp when I look at my reflection in the mirror. My hair, it’s long. I got rid of those long locks after our divorce was done, Jimin liked my hair like this, long and curly, so I decided to cut it short.

”Baby, did you bring your work home? I don’t remember seeing this old thing on our nightstand when we went to sleep.” Eyes widening I rip open the bathroom door startling Jimin as I grab the old watch out of his hands. The digits are frozen one at eight and the other at one. 18. 2018? Jimin catches my hand mid-air as I try to slap myself so I could make sure this is not a dream.

”Baby say something. You’re scaring me. Are you alright?” Jimin holds my hand gently thumbs rubbing my skin as his eyes express his worry. It’s been a while since he was so affectionate. He stopped caring for me after he found that girl. I let him pull me into a hug, I missed this. I missed him but this moment doesn’t change the fact that the Jimin I loved so much cheated on me.

I left to go to work earlier than I used to around this time and I know Jimin noticed. I told him to get some takeout for lunch too.

I worked on the clocks hoping that it will distract me but it just made me think of what happened this morning more. Doing it the second time around made the process easier, I knew what was wrong with the clocks before I get them into pieces. I even remembered the young couple who brought an expensive watch to get it more fitted to his arms and he accidentally left his bracelet on my working bench after trying on the watch to see it fits after the adjustments.

Jimin sulked a little after I denied his kisses but he didn’t force me and for that I was thankful. He nagged me even when we were surrounded by his father’s workers at the found raising event to tell him what made me ’mad’ at him because he wants to apologize properly if he did something wrong. I didn’t say anything, I couldn’t just tell him he should apologize for something he will do in the future, it will just make me the weird one.

I was nervous to go home after the event because I remember how this night was supposed to end. My hand tightens around his arm when I see her approach us. I feel my stomach sink when she smiles at the both of us, introducing herself as Jimin’s coworker. I didn’t remember meeting her here but at that time I had no idea she’ll be the one who my husband cheats on me with. It was dark that day but I remember her blonde hair and her voice. I remember her moaning Jimin’s name.

”Y/N?” I snap my head towards the sound of his voice. He looks concerned it’s not the first time tonight that he had to repeat what he said. I feel sick, my body subconsciously leans on him to get a grip of reality.

I realised this is when it began. Her smile is anything but genuine as she fakes her concern, I can see the jealousy in her dark orbs as she watches my hand around my husband’s arm. She wanted him for herself all this time. She just doesn’t know yet that she succeeded a year after. A tear slid down my cheeks but I aggressively got rid of it before it could reach my chin. Jimin caged me between his strong arms drawing soothing circles onto my back but it doesn’t affect my body positively how it used to I cried harder inside his arms.

Jimin excused us and she relented even though it was clear as day that she wanted to send me daggers through her stare rather than her wishes for me to get better. The car ride was silent, he didn’t let go of my hand and I let him. I let this version of Jimin comfort me because he didn’t do anything wrong, not yet. He had no idea that this was our last happy years spent together before everything went downhill after that.

He held me in his arms.

[5th March 2019]

After my revisit of 2018, I realised a few things. Firstly, I can travel between time with that old watch that only seem to works for a short period of time until it stops at the year I want to visit. The second thing I learnt is that Jimin can be manipulated with the right words. I decided after that night I saw her face raging with malice and jealousy that I’ll find out what really had happened between them. I know Jimin loved me even though I had doubts about it after our divorce. I knew him well we spend so much time together as friends even before we started dating. However, I never thought he would go so low as to cheat on his wife.

He was always gentle and understanding with me. Accepting the fact that I didn’t want to have children. He loved them but accepted me for who I was and never questioned why I felt this way. He was a good man, a good husband.

So I decided to watch him from afar and when she thought no one was looking, she showed her teeth like a venomous snake planting ideas into Jimin’s head talking shit about me, twisting my actions and words; going as far as telling him she thinks I am cheating on him! I know those pictures were fake as I did no such thing. I was so in love with him I would never betray him like that.

Then I remembered his odd change in behaviour, how he treated our once lovemaking sessions as fucking. How he couldn’t look into my eyes while he buried his dick inside my cunt made sense in a way now.

He thought I was the one who played him. He let himself believe that I was late from our dinners because I was fucking someone behind his back and when I told him I’m not in the mood to have sex. He got even angrier he thought that if I lied to his face he will show me what pain feels like by fucking that snake in our guest bedroom. My head was swimming overwhelmed with this information.

The truth hurt like hell.

I thought I will feel somewhat better once I discovered the truth but I feel even shitter. Jimin believed her, he didn’t bother to ask me if I was indeed cheating on him but can I really blame him? I didn’t ask either when I suspected it. We let our insecurities and that jealous bitch stand in between our marriage making it crumble down to pieces. I was angry, raging as my hand shook with it and it led me back to that day it happened. It felt too late to fix things so I closed my eyes and turned the clock. Leaving everything behind. Once and for all.

There’s nothing left for me to change in our past, I can’t fix our past mistakes but maybe I could change things in the future. Starting with exposing that snake. I wasn’t even surprised to see her as the head of the newly developed department.

[11st April 2021]

Jimin took over the firm after his father fell ill as I got to know from her assistant. I could tell she was surprised to see my face but even more surprised to realise it’s not Jimin’s whereabouts that I want to know but rather hers.

I shouldn’t be this smug about the fact that he cut all ties with her after our divorce. Deep down he was still a good man who couldn’t believe the fact that he fucked someone else while his wife cried next door with just one thin wall separating them.

I pictured this moment in my head a lot after I came back from the past. I’m way past the hurt and anger that settled in my bones for a full year and even before that. Instead, I felt eerily calm for someone who’s here to put up a show for the employees. I don’t even care if they think I’m crazy because once I locate her in her cubicles and dig my hair into her scalp pulling her hair hard with my iron grip all I could feel is utter satisfaction.

”I hope you enjoyed your good fuck. Was it satisfying to make my husband a cheater? I bet it was. Did you think I will never find out that you fed him lies and spread rumours about me sleeping around with men?”

Even the security watched as I pulled her by the hair the commotion around us almost drowned out the crying noises she made because of the pain. I didn’t pull that hard though, I hate her with every fibre of my being but I’m not a malicious person like her. She would deserve worse than what I’m doing but I never want to go down to her level ever again so I let her go.

”How did you found out?” She looked pale as a ghost. I know she was scared she had every right to be because I’m sure I have that crazy look in my eyes.

”It doesn’t matter. What does matter, however, is that now I know what you did to him. All for what? Just to have him all to yourself? Look how that turned out for you.” The people around us fell silent that’s how I knew Jimin is here. So I took a step closer to her and smiled.

”I never cheated on him but you know this well. This is not even why I feel so angry. The reason why I want to rip your hair out right this instant is not because you spread lies and badmouthed me but because you made him a cheater.”

It’s his first time seeing me after our divorce but I’ve been seeing him these past weeks thanks to the old watch. This time around I was able to look into his eyes and see that boy I fell in love with. We went through so much together, maybe.

Maybe we can overcome this too.

©️ helenazbmrskai (Like and Reblog don’t repost!)

#jimin angst #btsghostie #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts fanfiction #bts angst #jimin fic #jimin fanfic #jimin fanfiction #jimin x oc #jimin #bts

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todaysdocument · 3 years

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Anonymous letter to the House Un-American Activities Committee, and open letter from Gale Sondergaard regarding her decision to plead the Fifth Amendment at her hearing before that committee, 3/16/1951

Series: Committee Papers, 1945 - 1975

Record Group 233: Records of the U.S. House of Representatives, 1789 - 2015

Transcription:

Dear Sir: -

Thought you might be interested in this ad which appeared in today's Daily Variety.

Kindly note that she intends to avail herself of her Constitutional rights, as all these rats do when cornered. As a self-styled freedom-loving non-conformist, she should not be allowed to avail herself of the rights of freedom-loving AMERICANS.

Keep up the good work, for the more adverse publicity they receive the less the picture loving people will see of them, and that is all to the better.

AN AMERICAN

[page 2]

GALE SONDERGAARD

March 13

1951

Board of Directors

Screen Actors Guild

Hollywood

California.

Dear Board Members:

I am addressing you of the Board not only as the directors of our union but also less fellow actors. I am addressing you because I have been subpoenaed, together with other members of our union before the un-American Activities Committee. I will appear next Wednesday.

I would be naïve if I did not recognize that there is a danger that by the following day I may have arrived at the end of my career as a motion picture actress.

Wishing to place my position in my request of my union before both Board and membership before I take the stand next Wednesday, March 21st, I am having this letter published in the Friday, March 16th, issue of Daily Variety.

Surely it is not necessary for me to say to this Board that I have of my profession that I have tried to bring to it honesty of feeling, clarity of thought and a real devotion. Surely it is also unnecessary for me to state that I consider myself a deeply loyal American with genuine concern for the welfare and peace of my own countrymen and all humanity.

Today I read that this particular inquisition is not directed against the industry but is directed at individuals. This would seem to imply that any number of individual actors could be destroyed without injuring the industry — and that the employers, having been guaranteed that they would not be personally involved, have given the committee carte blanche to attack individuals to their own purposes.

Employers have been known to do this before and members of unions have, in just such times, come to know the comfort and the dignity of belonging to a union and of seeking its strengths and its higher moral dedication.

I believe in freedom of speech and religion and association as described in our first amendment. Unfortunately our present Supreme Court has not seen fit to spell out its legal availability to us in our own days. But it has done so in respect to the oldest right of the individual in recorded history — the right of silence — the right under the fifth amendment.

I intend to avail myself of this right before the committee.

Many Guild members, called before the committee, will not agree with my choice. They will take other roads looking to their protection from the attacks, insinuations, and sneers of the committee. But surely no one will believe that the economic well-being of our members or the security of our union or the welfare of the industry is being served by the committee.

I must earnestly and paternally ask the Board to consider the implications of the forthcoming hearing. A blacklist already exists. It may now be widened. It may ultimately be extended to include any freedom-loving non-conformist or any member of a particular race or any member of a union — or anyone.

For my own security — for the security of all our members, I asked our Board to weigh this hearing carefully — to determine whether it can afford to witness its approach with passivity.

I must especially appeal to the Board, to my fellow actors, to consider whether it will not be proper and necessary for to make a public declaration that it will not tolerate any industry blacklists against any of its members who see fit to act upon the enemy's decision of the Supreme Court and avail themselves of the privilege against self-incrimination which is once more available for the purpose for which it was originally established — as a barrier to political and religious persecution.

I can find no reason in my conduct as an actress or as a union member why I should have to contemplate a severing of the main artery of my life — my career as a performer — because I hold two views for which during the last war I was an esteemed member of the Victory Committee and the recipient of the thanks of my government, industry and union.

With my appreciation of the Board's consideration of this request,

I am,

fraternally yours,

Gale Sondergaard

(Advertisement)

#archivesgov #March 16 #1951 #1950s #House Un-American Activities Committee #HUAC #communism #Hollywood #blacklist #Gale Sondergaard #Screen Actors Guild #SAG

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ailtrahq · 7 months

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Former FTX CEO Sam “SBF” Bankman-Fried watched from the defense table as his former business associate and girlfriend Caroline Ellison testified at his criminal trial.According to reports from the courtroom on Oct. 10, Ellison admitted to fraud during her time at Alameda at Bankman-Fried’s direction. The former Alameda CEO reportedly placed the blame for misuse of FTX user funds directly on SBF, claiming he “set up the systems” leading to Alameda taking roughly $14 billion from the exchange.“Alameda took several billions of dollars from FTX customers and used it for investments,” said Ellison according to reports. “I sent balance sheets that made Alameda look less risky than it was.”Ellison met Bankman-Fried through their jobs at Jane Street Capital, with SBF convincing her to leave the investment firm and join his crypto-focused endeavors. Reports have suggested the two had largely been out of contact following the collapse of FTX in November 2022. Sam Bankman-Fried included this photo with Caroline Ellison in a document he sent me, noting that she “was wicked smart,” but “deeply insecure.” CAROLINE TESTIFIES AGAINST SBF IN COURT THIS WEEK. pic.twitter.com/n9WXyBXfd1— Tiffany Fong (@TiffanyFong_) October 10, 2023 Ellison’s relationship with SBF is one of the issues central to the allegations facing the former CEO, as he was in charge of the crypto exchange while she led the team at Alameda. Bankman-Fried’s fraud charges are based on him directing Alameda to essentially have access to FTX user funds without customers’ consent, which he used for purchases including property and donations to political campaigns. FTX co-founder and former chief technology officer Gary Wang took the stand starting on Oct. 5 as one of the first witnesses for prosecutors, claiming he committed crimes with Ellison as well as former engineering director Nishad Singh. On cross examination of Wang, SBF’s attorneys seemed to be attempting to shift some of the blame on the exchange’s collapse to Ellison, questioning the former CTO on her role. In opening arguments, the defense claimed she ignored Bankman-Fried’s request to put a hedge on Alameda investments.Ellison and Wang were some of the first FTX and Alameda insiders to plead guilty as part of an agreement with U.S. authorities for her testimony. It’s unclear whether Bankman-Fried will take the stand as part of his defense strategy.The former Alameda Research CEO’s testimony marked the fifth day of SBF’s criminal trial, where he faces 7 charges related to fraud. He has pleaded not guilty to all charges, and is expected to appear in a second criminal trial starting in March 2024.

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prettyinlimegreenboots · 3 years

Text

Code Silver - Life in the ER

This is the continuation of my “Life in the ER” series. This takes place two months after the previous installment. As always, you don’t necessarily have to read the previous installments but it may help clarify any questions you have.

Now take note of this MAJOR WARNING - there is an active shooter situation in this chapter. There will be blood, cussing, needles, surgery and death in this chapter. You have been warned.

I do not own Dr. Leighton. His name was originally used in Code Black, which is one of my favorite medical dramas. I do not own that name. And Dr. Weasley is named after the famous red-headed family in Harry Potter - I don’t own that name either.

As always, feedback would be wonderful and much appreciated. Buckle up kids, this is going to be a doozy of a ride.

June 10, 2021 11:00am

He never wished for a normal day while working in the ER but he wished for one today. Wishing for normal days, usually, meant that the hours in the ER were filled with chaos and craziness and somehow even more casualties than an average shift. He sighed as he thought back on the long night he had. Mack had been up most of the night, and usually Race could get her settled down but he was at his wits end. Spot ended up getting up to help him, making the 5am wake up call a struggle.

“Get it gear, Conlon.” Plums teased as she stood at the nurse’s desk giving a look. “Coffee not kicking in?”

Groaning, he looked up from the keyboard he was staring at a little too intently, nodding to the white cup sitting beside his hand. “This is my fifth cup; if it hasn’t kicked in yet then I don’t think there’s hope. Little miss only wanted me last night.”

“Ahhh those days are fun. Addie is in a Jack phase right now and I’m chopped liver.” Plums grinned. “Hopefully that won’t last long?”

Spot shrugged. “It’s been a week already. It doesn’t help when I’m working the early shift. She loves to party between 2 and 4.”

“Ugh do not miss those days. Addie is finally sleeping all the way through the night. She gets up at 5:30, just as I’m walking out the door though.” She smiled as Albert slid into a chair. “You okay, Al?”

He grinned. “Yea, patient in room four needs a checkup at some point. What’d I missed?”

“Noted - thanks. Spot’s kid throwing a rager from 2-4am.” Plums pointed out.

Albert chuckled loudly. “Ahh that sounds like fun.”

“Don’t laugh - this’ll be you this time next year.” Spot pointed his index finger in Albert’s direction. Finch and Albert had announced their little bundles of joy would be arriving around the beginning of December.

The grin slid from his face as Spot’s words made him pause. “Shit. I guess I will be taking notes from you both before that time.”

A call came over the intercom as Plums grabbed a chart before heading down the hallway. “Duty calls. Meet you guys in the cafe around 1 for lunch?”

“See you then.” Spot saluted her as he finished typing up his notes, looking over his shoulder at Albert who was writing in his own chart. “You doing good?”

A smirk crossed Albert’s face. “Doing well. Finch mentioned that we should have you and Race and Jack and Kat over for a cookout.”

“That’ll be fun.” Spot sighed, typing something in the chat he was having with another doctor, groaning as he stood up. “I’ve got to go draw another vial of blood. Don’t miss me too much.”

Albert blew him a kiss as he watched him walk away with a shake of his head. “Don’t worry, pooks, I won’t.”

Spot quickly drew the vial of blood from his patient in bay 12 before walking it upstairs to deliver Elmer. “Got some fresh, still warm blood for you. Orders should be in your inbox.”

“How’s the world of emergency today? Quiet?” Elmer accepted the vial before typing a few keys on his keyboard, giving Spot a quick smile.

Spot sighed, leaning against the wall, trying to stretch his back. “It’s quiet but two ambulances were pulling up just as I escaped up here. Is it 6pm yet?”

“Sorry, you still have 6.5 hours to go.” Elmer was way too cheerful as he delivered that news to Spot, who merely groaned.

The hospital phone that was attached to his hip dinged with a message that made him smile. “Hey if you haven’t eaten by 1, we’re planning on eating in the cafe. Come by.”

“I’ll see if I can get away. These results will be in your patient’s chart by the time you get back downstairs.” Elmer grinned.

Saluting him, Spot grinned. “Thanks, Elm. You’re the best.”

Whistling along to a song that was stuck in his head, he headed back downstairs, via the stairs. He hopped down the stairs as he thought about everything that he needed to do before his shift ended. Just as his foot hit the bottom stair, the intercom blared to life with a “Code Silver” followed by the Emergency Department as the location. Words you never wanted to hear in a hospital. A shiver ran down his back as his brain processed the words. Gripping the handle of the staircase he faltered in his step. Active shooter.

Throwing open the heavy stairwell door, he found himself in a surprisingly empty hallway. His shoes squeaked softly as he made his way to an empty patient room, quickly darting behind the door for protection. Grabbing the blue hospital issued phone, he opened it, silencing the volume. He sent a message both to Plums and Albert asking them where they were.

As he waited, all he could hear was someone yelling and the blood rushing through his ears. The phone vibrated in his hand as he quickly brought it up to eye level. From Plums: Patient’s room, door locked, everyone okay. You?

Ignoring her message for now, he started making his way back towards the center of the Emergency Room. In the back of his mind, he knew he should get out while he could but not while his sister-in-law and best friend were in the middle of danger.

“Where the hell is Nicole Ridder?” A loud voice raged, catching his attention as he slid under a desk. “Where is she?”

A gunshot went off as several more screams pierced the air as a hand slammed on a desk. “Where is she?”

Looking around the corner, Spot’s eyes went wide, as he took in the scene. Albert was under the desk, the very desk the man was loudly banging his fist on. Sadie, a nurse that Spot didn’t know too well, was staring down the man. “Sir, there is no Nicole Ridder here. I just checked our in-patients and there’s no one here by that name.”

“She texted me and said she’s here and now you won’t fucking let me see her.” The man screamed as another gunshot exploded, breaking the silent air. All Spot could do was watch Sadie crumble as the bullet hit her.

The man hit his hand once more before taking several steps, waving the gun in front of several other nurses, the air returning quiet. “Nicole, where are you?”

The man neared Spot’s position, as he tried to make himself smaller. “NICOLE!”

His shouts became more desperate as he started pushing open closed doors. Spot tried to regulate his breath as the man’s footsteps came closer.

He stopped at the desk that Spot was sitting under, his hand pounding the top. His voice was gruff as he cocked the trigger of the gun. “I know there are more people here - just tell me where in the hell Nicole is and I won’t shoot up the place.”

A cry broke the silence, as both Spot and the man looked towards a closed door. Within seconds the man was standing in front of the door, the butt of the gun banging against the solid wood door.

His hand tightened around the door handle, jiggling it to open it but found it locked. “NICOLE, OPEN THIS DOOR! I know you’re in there.”

A noise behind Spot made him look. Albert and a few other nurses made a break for it, running for a door that would lead them outside. Spot felt a rush of air escape his mouth. Albert was safe. But he feared for Plums’ safety.

Plums’ POV

The jiggling of the door handle sent a shiver down her back. She was currently hiding behind the bed, with her patient and her patient’s child, trying to keep them both safe. Putting a finger to her mouth, she locked eyes with the two.

She had been about to discharge Josie, who had strep throat, when the Code Silver had come over the intercom. Immediately she had shut the door, locked it and put the chair under the handle, blocking them in the small room.

“NICOLE, OPEN THIS DOOR! Goddammit I know you’re in there.” The jiggling continued as tears crowded her eyes. She attempted to calm her breathing.

Grabbing the blue phone, she quickly typed something in and sent it to both Albert and Spot, hoping the two of them got out before this madness began.

“NICOLE DAMMIT OPEN THIS DOOR.” The man’s voice pleaded as his fists hit the door, each bang louder than the previous.

She slipped her hand into the little girl’s, giving it a squeeze, as she prayed that the ordeal would end soon.

Spot’s POV

He felt the phone vibrate in his hand as he opened the message.

I’m in the room with her and her daughter.

The gasp escaped his mouth before he could help it but the pounding on the door told him the gunman hadn’t heard. He wished he had his personal cell on him but the hospital frowned upon that. He just wanted to get a message to Race.

His thoughts stopped for a minute. Race. His husband who was out on summer break, at home with their daughter. Or maybe he and Jack took the girls out for lunch and were at least together. Leaning his head back, he stretched his neck muscles, praying that he’d get to see his daughter and husband at least one more time.

Taking a steady breath, Spot’s mind started turning. He needed to get that gunman away from that door if Plums had a chance to get away.

Opening up the phone, he quickly typed out a message to Plums Right outside the door under the desk.

His butt was falling asleep as he sat scrunched up under the desk. He slowly adjusted himself, cussing when his shoe squeaked. Spot cussed under his breath as the pounding on the door came to a standstill. “Who’s there?”

Eyes wide, Spot bit his lip in an attempt to stay quiet. “Show yourself or I will put a bullet through this door. This isn’t a game.”

Another gunshot sounded as screams pierced the air. Several more gunshots were fired in quick succession as the man growled under his breath. “Damnit, Nicole, get your skinny ass out here now. Quit playing these damn games.”

Another several gunshots were fired through the door, wood splintering as the bullet made contact. Several screams pierced the quietness, one of which was most definitely Plums.

Spot could hear the man pacing in front of the door, as his shoes squeaked with each pass. Every few seconds, the butt of the gun would knock against the door. Spot could hear him growl, growing frustrated by the situation at hand. “You leave me no choice, Nicole.”

Before he could take another breath, the gun was fired in quick rounds, several bullets hitting the wooden door as screams erupted from the small room. Spot eased out from his position, looking at the man as he screamed and unloaded his gun into the small room.

He heard the familiar click of the gun, signaling that it was out of ammunition. Spot took that moment to stand and look at the man. He moved stealthily, as he made his way to the man. Before he could think, he punched the man, successfully crumbling him to the ground. The gun went sliding down the hallway as Spot punched the man a few times. “Plums, get them the hell outta here.”

The man attempted to hit Spot back but was unsuccessful and several seconds later, the police came in, slapping handcuffs on the man before helping Spot up.

Spot stood, chest heaving as his brain caught up on what had just happened. He faltered in his step just as a police man caught him. “Sir, you okay?”

“Dizzy.” He mumbled just as he collapsed and fell to the ground.

Plums’ POV

Holding up her hands, she hurled herself over to the police and told them to get the hell in there, that the gunman had been subdued.

Without another word, she watched several police officers make their way into the building as she was led to a makeshift medical area. She was led to a stretcher where her vitals were checked and she was given a check over. She had some cuts from glass and bruises but nothing life threatening. The mental reminders would take some time to overcome. Albert wrapped a warm blanket around her shoulders as she sat on the bed. “It was Spot.”

Albert’s hands stilled as he took her blood pressure. “Spot what?”

“Spot subdued the gunman by hitting him and knocking him out.” Plums whispered as she looked at Albert.

Albert dropped the stethoscope, before pulling her into a hug, as she lost it. The tears, fears, relief all came bubbling to the surface. He hushed her, brushing his hand up and down her back as he attempted to calm her down. “Hey it’ll be okay. Jack, Race, and Finch are all outside and as soon as you’re done, I’ll bring them all back, okay?”

She nodded, her breath coming out in gasps, as he took her blood pressure. He did a few other checks, she figured for bullets or any other damages before jotting down something on the piece of paper at the makeshift table. “Do you want me to stay or go get them?”

“Can you stay and have someone get them? Also, where’s Spot?” She asked, eyes wide with the fear still radiating through her body. She knew the adrenaline would be cursing through her body for some time yet.

Albert nodded, stepping out for a moment before coming back in. “Maddie is going to get Jack, Race, and Finch and she’s checking on Spot.”

“Albie?” She asked, clutching the blanket tighter around her.

“Yea Plums?” He asked, scribbling something on a chart in front of him. He looked up, looking at one of his family members, trying to keep it all together.

She sniffled, looking at the cut on her hand. “Was anyone killed?”

He stilled with the question, dropping the pen before walking over to wrap her in a hug as she broke down crying. “Shhh.” He whispered as he ran a hand up and down her back.

Tears clouded his eyes as he listened to her heartbreaking sobs. Soon they turned to snuffs as she pulled away from him and wiped her eyes. “Sorry.”

“No, Kat, you have nothing to apologize for.” He shook his head. “You’re safe and your body is trying to regulate itself. It’s okay. But to answer your question, I haven’t heard anything about anyone. Once I got out, they checked me out and said they needed help with injuries so I’ve been doing this. I was just relieved to see you run out.”

Looking up, she gasped seeing Jack, Race, and Finch all standing there. Before she could do anything, Jack was pulling her into a hug as she busted into another round of tears. Jack was mumbling stuff in her ear and running his hand through her hair as she immediately felt safe in Jack’s arms. Leaning back, she pressed a kiss to his lips. “Love you too.”

Stepping away from Jack, she pulled Race into her arms as he sniffled. “I’m so glad you’re okay. Where’s Spot?”

“He was the one who subdued the gunman. He’s probably talking to the police.” She mumbled, watching Race’s face crumble.

She watched many emotions cover Race’s face as he faltered. “He did what?”

“I don’t know how but he knocked the gunman out and told me to get out of there.” She looked at him. “He’s a hero, Race.”

Tears clouded Race’s face as she pulled him back into a hug. “He was fine when I was running out of there so I’m sure he’s talking to the police.”

She soothed him, by rubbing a hand up and down his back. She watched Jack talk to Albert and Finch. “Where are our girls?”

“Medda has them.” Race pulled back, wiping his eyes. “Jack and I were hanging out at your house when she stopped by. When this came across the news, Jack said we needed to get down here. We held our breaths every time the door opened. We got here just after Albert came running out.”

Nodding, she sat back on the bed, wrapping the blanket around her. She looked over at Finch, whose fingers were laced with Albert’s. “Hi Finch.”

“Hi Kat. Glad you’re okay.” He smiled, squeezing Albert’s hand.

Nodding, she looked at the men in the room, sighing. “Hey Al, can you go check with Maddie?”

He nodded, leaning over to kiss Finch before escaping out of the medical area.

Sighing, she kicked her legs, antsy with wanting to know what was keeping Spot. She figured the police would want to talk with him but he should be done by now. She felt Jack stand behind her with his hand on her shoulder. She knew it would be a long time before he would be able to have her out of his sight.

Albert’s face was stoic as he returned with a police officer. “Plums, this is Office Ramirez. He’d like to talk to us for a few minutes.”

“Katherine Kelly, sir. This is my husband Jack and our friends, Tony, Albert, and Patrick. Tony is Sean’s husband. Can you tell us what’s going on with Sean Conlon?” Plums sat up straight, trying to look more authoritative than she felt. Her heart plummeted into her stomach as he was introduced. Usually having a police office come talk to them was never a good thing.

Officer Ramirez shifted, pulling his hat off before looking at the same group of friends. “I was first through the doors when I saw Sean on the floor punching the gunman. Several officers took care of the gunman while I went over to Sean. I got him to his feet when he mumbled that he was dizzy and before I knew it, he had fainted.”

“Doctor White was in the vicinity and immediately started checking Sean. In the initial check, he had blood on the left side of his scrubs. Several nurses and Dr White loaded him onto a gurney and rushed him upstairs to surgery.” Officer Ramirez’s face was grime as he relayed the information. Race gasped, processing the information. “If you’d like, I will escort you up to the surgery floor where you can wait?”

Kat sat back as the words hit her. She looked over at Race, who staggered a bit, only for Albert’s arm to wrap around his waist. “That would be great. But I have one other question - was anyone killed today?”

The officer paused. He was conflicted on how much he should actually tell them. “There were two nurses and an orderly that were killed. There were several that were injured by the stray bullets.”

Tears crowded Kat’s eyes as she thought about her coworkers and their families. Hanging her head, she let a sob out as someone put their arms around her. She looked up at Race whose face was tight with a mix of emotions as he hugged her. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked at Officer Ramirez. “I’ll need a few minutes to talk with some of my colleagues but after that, can you escort us upstairs?”

“Absolutely ma’am. There will be a police officer outside the waiting room just for some extra protection. And we will need to speak with you and Mr. DaSilva at some point.” The office said, as Kat nodded.

She pushed the blanket off of her before she looked at Jack. Leaning up, she gave him a quick kiss and hugged Race before walking out into the still mayhem scene.

Maddie came up and gave her a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay. Any word on Spot?”

“He’s in surgery but that’s all I know. We’re going to head up to the surgical waiting room. Can you let the head honchos know?” Plums asked, giving the young nurse a look, as she looked around the mayhem of police officers, nurses, and patients.

Maddie quickly nodded. “I can do that. Do you want me to have food sent up?”

“Thanks, that would be nice since all of us just want a status update.” She smiled at Maddie.

“Consider it done. Just let us know when he’s out and doing okay?” She asked, as Plums quickly agreed before going back to the medical area.

Making sure they had everything, Kat gave Officer Ramirez a look as he led them through the eerie empty halls of the Emergency Room to the elevators. Katherine moved quickly, not wanting to be reminded of what had happened there just a short while ago. The group was silent as they got on the elevators, watching the numbers slowly rise up to level 8, the surgical floor.

Several police officers were already waiting outside of the waiting room as they stepped off the elevator. Kat led the group into the room, where a couple of styrofoam containers were on a table along with two sets of scrubs. “If you need anything, my officers will be outside. When you’re ready to talk to us, just let us know.”

“Thank you for everything. Let us get changed and get some food, then at least I’ll be ready to talk.” Kat told him before she looked at Albert, who nodded.

Officer Ramirez gave her a slight smile before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

She watched Albert and Finch walk over to the food as Jack and Race hovered near her. She smiled weakly at them both before picking up a pair of scrubs and walking over to the bathroom to change. Not wanting to see the scrubs she had on ever again, she threw them into the trash before joining the men in the waiting room. As the door closed behind her, she pulled her hair down, wanting her hair to be done, instead of up in a ponytail like it normally was when she was on shift.

Jack and Race had styrofoam containers balanced on their knees as they ate. Finch and Albert were throwing theirs away.

“There’s a sandwich and mac and cheese there for you.” Jack motioned over to the table as he continued to eat.

Nodding, she sat at the table, immediately opening the mac and cheese container and eagerly eating the cheesy goodness. “Any word?”

Shakes of heads were her answer as she sighed and banged her head against the wall. She knew she should go downstairs to get hers and Spot’s stuff but she just didn’t have the energy.

Her eyes darted around the room. Apart from the eerie quietness, the people in the room were okay. She just wished she could find out what was up with Spottie and why it was taking so long. Her brain kicked into medical mode and she wondered how serious Spot’s injuries really were.

“Kat?” Jack broke her train of thoughts by softly calling her name. She raised an eyebrow at him. “The police are ready to talk to you if you are.”

Nodding, she quickly threw away her trash, grabbing a water bottle before she walked out of the room, ready to be done with the day.

Jack looked at Race who was twiddling with his hands, looking absolutely lost. “Race?”

“Yea Jack?” He asked, looking up from playing with his wedding band.

“I know it’s a stupid question but you doing okay? Do you need anything?” He asked.

Race shrugged, sighing. “I just want to lay eyes on him and make sure he’s okay. My mind keeps playing the what if game and it won’t stop until I can see him.”

“Do you want me to have momma bring up the girls?” Jack asked, knowing Kat would want to see Addie sooner rather than later.

Race was torn. On the one hand, it would be good to hold Mack until he knew about Spot; on the other, the little girl would want to explore the unfamiliar place and Race didn’t know if he could be patient with her as his nerves were already frayed. “As much as I would love to say yes, she’s better off with momma at the house.”

Jack nodded. “Do you want to play cards?”

Race loved his brother but he could slug him at the moment. He understood what Jack was trying to do but he just wanted to know how the hell Spot was doing. “No Jack. I’m fine. Just anxious to hear how Spot’s doing.”

Silence fell over the room as Race began to day dream. He thought back to earlier that morning. Did he even say he loved Spot as he said goodbye to him? Did he say have a good day or that he’d text him later? Race let his head fall backwards as it collided with the wall. Tears crowded his eyes at the lack of updates and knowledge of what the hell was going on.

Race wasn’t going to lie. It was painful to see Jack and Kat along with Albert and Finch reunite as he sat there awaiting the news of his husband. Race just prayed to whoever that Spot was okay and he would be back by his side soon.

His eyes met the clock on the wall. 1:35. Just over two hours since he heard the news about an active shooter at the hospital and his heart damn near stopped.

Pulling out his phone, he noticed there was a 40 in the top corner of his messages. People had been contacting him to find out if Spot was working and if he was okay. Race just didn’t have the heart to reply to any of them. The only one he opened was from momma as she had sent a photo of Kenzie sleeping. He smiled slightly before locking his phone and putting it back in his pocket.

The opening of the door caught his attention as a nurse slipped through. “I’m Maeve. Is this the family of Sean Conlon?”

Nodding, Race looked at the young nurse with a pleading look. “I’m his husband. Is he out of surgery?”

“I was in the operating room. The doctor is just finishing up surgery and will be in shortly.” Maeve tight lipped smiled at them.

Race cleared his throat. “Is he okay?”

“I’m sorry but the doctor will be out shortly.” She apologized as she slipped out of the room.

Jack stood, stretching his back. “I’ll go let Kat know. Anyone need anything?”

Everyone shook their heads, watching him leave the room. Race tapped his feet, a renewed energy knowing that soon he’d have some answers and maybe he could see Spot sooner rather than later.

Kat joined Jack as they came back into the room. Before she took a seat, she held something out to Race. “I had the police collect his belongings from downstairs. He has quite a lot of missed calls and texts.”

Race accepted the phone and Spot’s canvas bag with a nod. He didn’t go through it, and merely pocketed the phone. “How was your talk with the police?”

“Okay. They just wanted to make sure they had all their ducks in a row. They’re going to want to talk to Spot and you, Albert.” She directed her last words to him as he nodded, fingers laced with Finch’s.

“It might be a few days before Spot’s up for it.” Race gave his sister-in-law a look.

She quickly nodded, looking at him. “The police are well aware of that fact. His doctors will have to clear it before he is able to do so. Plus he’ll have us by his side when he does talk to them.”

The door opened once more as they all looked up. “Doctor Leighton.”

“Katherine, I’m glad you’re doing okay.” He gave her a side hug as he turned to the other four. “I’m Doctor Leighton, I did Spot’s surgery.”

“This is Tony, Sean’s husband. My husband Jack. You know Albert and his husband Finch.” Kat made the introductions. “How’s Spot?”

Doctor Leighton nodded at all of them before taking a seat. “Spot’s okay. He’s in recovery at the moment. It was tough and go for a while. He had a bullet hit him on his left side. We ended up having to remove his spleen but he lost a lot of blood. We’re currently giving him blood transfusions to try to replenish what was lost.”

“Will he make a full recovery? Can he live without his spleen?” Race asked, looking between Kat and the doctor.

The doctor nodded his head. “Yes, he will make a full recovery and at this point, we don’t see any cause of concern. We’re waiting for him to wake up. And yes, he will be fine to live without his spleen.”

“What are your concerns for him in the next 48 hours?” Kat asked, as Race was glad she asked because he didn’t know what else to ask.

Dr. Leighton sighed. “You know the concerns, Katherine. Since the spleen is so instrumental in fighting infections, I’m a bit more concerned with him catching infections going forward. He will need to make sure he’s up to date on all of his vaccines after he’s discharged.”

“So I should be more concerned when he comes down with a cold?” Race piped up as the doctor nodded.

Kat nodded. “Yes, especially in the next year as his immune system adjusts.”

“When can we see him?” Race asked, his toes tapping anxiously, just wanting to lay eyes on his husband.

Dr. Leighton looked at Race, smiling softly. “Give us about 20 minutes to get him moved to a room then you can see him.”

“Thank you Dr. Leighton.” Kat stood, shaking his hand as the rest of them did the same. He gave them a tight smile before he left them alone.

“Well he was helpful.” Race choked out as Jack Finch, and Albert both snorted.

Kat shook her head. “He’s a brilliant surgeon but he’s got little bedside manner. I’d request him in a heartbeat, a thousand times over some of the surgeons in this hospital.”

Race nodded, trusting her 1000% with anything medical related. Standing up, he started pacing, just wanting the time to go by fast so he could see Spot. “Race?”

He stopped, looking at Kat who softly called his name. “Do you need anything?”

“Just to see my damn husband.” Race sighed. “Sorry but I can’t think of anything else until I lay eyes on him.”

Kat nodded, as she couldn’t imagine if that was Jack in surgery and wanting to see him to make sure he was okay. “You heard Dr. Leighton, Race. He’s okay but I understand your frustration. Do you want us to hang back when you first see him?”

“Do you mind?” Race asked, his voice small, not wanting to give away how scared he truly was.

She stood, pulling him into a hug, running her hand up and down his back. “Of course not. You should be the first to see him. We’ll hang around while you go to visit him. Al still needs to talk to the police so he can do that while you go see him.”

The door opened and the nurse from earlier stood there. “We’ve got him settled into his room. We still have him sedated but you can go ahead and see him.”

Kat nudged Race. “Go see our boy and give him our love. We’ll hang back and see him later, alright?”

Nodding, Race hesitantly stepped forward as he followed the nurse down the hall to a room in the corner. “I’ll be right at the nurse’s desk in case you need anything.”

She propped open the door as he silently walked inside. There were two IVs, one going in each hand, one fluid of clear liquid, the other full of blood. He stood at the foot of the bed, looking at the step up, two chairs, one on each side of the bed, along with a table and two chairs off in the corner. Stepping around the bed, he sat in one of the chairs, and being careful of the IV, lacing his hand with Spot’s.

“Hey Spot.” He whispered, torn between waking him up and letting him sleep. Race had always loved watching his husband sleep, due to the fact when he was awake, he was never still. Spot was always moving around, unable to really settle unless he was sick or sleepy. “I heard through the grapevine that you’re some kind of hero. You saved a lot of people today, Spottie.”

Time, Spot only needed time. Time to heal, time to recover, time to wake up. “I know you want to sleep but I really want to see your pretty brown eyes. It’s been a pretty rough afternoon and I need to tell you I love you, because I’m not sure I actually said it this morning.”

“I’m not leaving, Spot. Wild horses couldn’t pull me away.” Race promised, squeezing his hand. “Kat, Jack, Albert, and Finch are out in the waiting room. Momma is at the house with Mack and Addie. As soon as you wake up, I’ll get her to bring the two of them up to see you.”

He continued to ramble about random things, always being told that patients could hear when they were unconscious. He didn’t want Spot to be alone and promised to fill the quiet room with his cheerful chatter.

Race held his breath, knowing that Spot would wake up with time but he wasn’t the most patient person. Squeezing his hand, he felt himself relaxing in the chair for the first time since arriving at the hospital. Race kicked his feet up onto the bed and let his head fall back to the back of the chair, listening to the constant beeping from the monitor, his eyes closing as he dozed off.

Kat’s POV

She watched Race leave the room, wanting to join him as he saw Spot but knowing Race needed some time to adjust to having Spot in the hospital bed. Standing up, she felt antsy from waiting so she paced the room as she answered texts from family and friends concerned about her.

“Kat?” Looking up from her phone, she looked over at Jack who had concern written all over his face. “You okay?”

She sighed, walking over to him and sitting beside him. “Just antsy. I’m glad Race gets to go see him but I want to check up on him as well.”

Pressing a kiss to her head, Jack nodded. “I know. Despite our rough start, Spot is like a brother to me and it’s hard when we don’t know what the next few days or even weeks will look like. But we have to go along with the doctor who seems optimistic that he’ll be alright in the long run.”

Kat reached over and laced her fingers with Jack’s. “We’ll see him soon. Let’s give Race some time with him.”

She looked at Finch and Albert and smiled sadly at them. “You two doing okay?”

“Just hanging out until we can see him.” Albert looked as worried as she felt. “You two hanging out for the night?”

Jack shrugged, giving them a look. “Depends on what Race wants us to do. We’re kinda letting him dictate what we’re doing. I just checked in with momma and she said the girls are down for their afternoon naps.”

She didn’t get a chance to answer as the door opened slowly as an older man poked his head in. Standing up, she weakly smiled at him as surprise was evident in her voice. “Dr. Weasley.”

“Katherine, they told me you were up here. I just wanted to check in with you, Spot, and Albert to see how you were doing.” He said as she nodded.

Motioning for him to come in, she sighed. “Spot had emergency surgery and he’s in a room down the hall. This is my husband Jack and Albert’s husband, Finch. Guys, this the director of the ER, Dr. Weasley. We’ve just been hanging out here waiting to see Spot after his surgery.”

Dr. Weasley nodded. “I heard that he had to have his spleen removed - he’s a tough nut and will be okay. I’ve come to tell you that you and Albert have the next week off. There will be a check-in before you’re allowed back into the hospital, per guidelines. As for Spot, we’ll take it day by day with him and when he’s cleared to return.”

“Is there anything we need to do in the meantime?” Albert came by Kat’s side as he was curious what the requirement was going to consist of.

Dr. Weasley smiled at them. “You’ll both need to see one of the hospital’s trauma specialists before you’re released to come back. You will also need to take the mandatory 5 days off before you step back in here.”

“How long will the ER be shut down for?” Kat asked, knowing it was only one of three emergency rooms within the city.

Dr. Weasley shook his head. “It’s going to be shut down for tonight but obviously the hospital doesn’t want it down for too long. They’re hoping to have it back up and running tomorrow morning.”

Frowning, Kat shook her head. “It doesn’t seem right. There were people killed in that ER earlier today and tomorrow it’s back to business like their lives don’t even matter.”

“I agree with you Plums but you know how the head honchos are.” Dr. Weasley agreed as he shook his head.

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. “It’s just not right. But I make pennies compared to them and I know nothing.”

“Keep up that attitude Plums and you’ll be alright.” He smiled, looking between her and Albert. “Do either of you need anything?”

Albert shook his head with a smirk. “Million bucks, new scrubs, better hospital food?”

“Noted but not sure what I can pull out of my magic hat.” Dr. Weasley looked between the two of them with a shake of his head. “You have my number if you need anything. I’m glad you two are okay.”

Watching him leave, Kat shook her head as the door shut gently behind him. “That was nice of him to check up on us.”

“You know it was because we’re not down at the ER with the rest of the staff.” Albert told her with sarcasm laced in his voice. “He knew it would’ve gotten around the ER if he didn’t come check up on us and Spot.”

Kat nodded. “True. I’m going to check up on Race. You guys staying here?”

Albert agreed while Finch and Jack stayed behind, letting the two of them go. Her shoes squeaked as she walked down the hallway. Pushing open the door, her shoulders immediately relaxed as she took in Spot’s appearance in the bed. A noise drew her attention away from Spot and to the chair beside him where Race was snoring away.

Stepping up to the bed, she looked Spot over as his quiet breathes matched Race’s deep snores. Albert shook his head as he reached up to wipe his eyes before taking Katherine’s hand and squeezing it. “He looks better than I thought he would.”

“What did you imagine?” Kat asked, looking over at him with a smirk.

Albert shrugged. “Bruises, black eyed, ruggedness. You know, someone who just got into a fight but he actually just looks normal.”

“Excuse you, I’m ruggedly handsome.” A voice drew their attention from each other to the bed. A smirk was on Spot’s face as he looked at two friends.

Kat’s eyes immediately watered with tears as she looked at him. “Spot.”

“I’m sore . . . what happened?” He asked as he tried to move but felt instant pain.

Albert stepped up, giving him a look. “You had surgery. They removed your spleen due to a bullet. You fainted in the ER just after the police came to take the gunman away. Race was really worried about you and had been in here for about 20 minutes before he must’ve fallen asleep.”

“Is that what that train sound is?” Spot asked, craning his head to look over to Race, who quietly snored away.

“Yes. He’s been worried sick about you.” Kat smiled. “Do you want me to wake him up?”

Spot shook his head. “Nah, let him sleep. Who’s got Kenzie?”

“Momma’s got her and Addie. Last we knew, they were taking their afternoon naps. Jack, Race, and Finch have been here most of the afternoon. They watched Albert run out.” Kat explained.

Spot nodded, as he bit his lip as a wave of pain coursed through his side. “Anyone killed?”

“Two nurses and an orderly.” Kat frowned. “But thanks to you, no one else was killed. There’s a few injuries but you saved a lot of people, Spot, including Nicole and her daughter.”

Spot shook his head. “I about died when you texted me that you were in the room with them. I knew I had to draw him away from the door in order for you to escape.”

“I’m thankful that you did but I almost passed out when I saw you slugging him.” Kat shook her head. “You’re an idiot Sean but I do love you.”

“Love you too Kat.” He reached over and squeezed her hand. “Do you want to go get Jack and Finch? I don’t know how much longer I’ll be awake.”

Albert rushed from the room, leaving Kat and Spot alone with the sleeping Race. “He doing okay?”

“Worried about you but he’s been alright.” She smiled. “He has your phone but hasn’t done anything with it. I got your stuff from downstairs.”

Spot nodded. “Thank you, Kat for everything. Any idea how long I’m in here for?”

“Dr. Leighton didn’t say but I’m sure he’ll be around to see you later.” Kat shrugged. “I’m guessing in a few days you'll be released. Albert and I are on mandatory leave for the next week and we have to see one of the trauma specialists before we’re allowed back in the ER.”

Spot didn’t say anything as the door was opened as Jack and Finch stepped into the room with Albert behind them. Kat stepped back, letting the two talk with him. Albert came over and wrapped his arm around her. “Counting your blessings?”

“Something like that.” She smiled, laying her head on his shoulder. “Just really glad my family is okay. Really glad my closest coworkers are alright. Sad that we lost some good people but happy that everyone else is okay.”

Albert shook his head. “Love you Kat.”

“Love you too Albie.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Are you and Finch heading home?”

Nodding, Albert sighed. “I just want to go home and put today out of my mind. I have a feeling we’re in for a few rough days.”

“Agreed. We’ll be around if you need someone to talk to.” She smiled. “I’m only a phone call away, okay?”

He nodded, a ragged sigh left his mouth. He watched Jack and Finch joke with Spot as he started to doze off. Once he was asleep, Finch and Albert made their way out, leaving Kat and Jack with Race and Spot.

“What do you want to do? I’m sure you could use a shower and some Addie cuddles.” Jack suggested as he looked between the two sleeping men in the room.

Kat stretched, a groan escaping her mouth. “You’re probably right but I just don’t feel right just walking away after everything we’ve been through this afternoon.”

“Kat, you’re not walking away.” Jack gave her a look. “How about I take you home, you can shower, cuddle Addie, then we can come back up here and bring them food? Does that sound like a plan?”

Nodding, she pushed off the way, pressing a kiss to both Spot and Race’s foreheads before walking out of the room, hand laced with Jack’s.

An Hour Later

The rustling of bedsheets was the sound he heard as he slowly woke up. Cracking open his eyes, it took a minute to figure out where he was. The hospital, active shooter, Spot surgery all came rushing back to him.

Sitting up in the uncomfortable chair, he cracked his back as he looked at the bed. The most beautiful sight he had seen was staring back at him. Spot, with a smirk on his face, and eyes opened as he stared at Race. “Hi.”

“After all this time and scaring the literal shit out of me, all you can say is hi.” Race was out of the chair and sitting on the side of the bed smirking. “Hi yourself. How are you feeling?”

Spot grimaced. “Sore, really sore. But other than that, okay. Kat and Albie filled me in on everything that had happened when they were here earlier.”

“You were awake and they didn’t wake me up?” Race frowned, giving Spot a look.

Squeezing their linked hands, Spot looked Race in the eyes. “I asked them not to as you were in a deep sleep. I’m sorry I didn’t wake you but I needed to know what had happened.”

“You doing okay, Spottie?” Race asked, worry in his voice.

Spot sighed loudly. “To be honest, I don’t know how I feel. I’m angry that someone interrupted the safe space the ER was. I’m upset that I lost coworkers. But I think I’m mostly grateful that Albie and Kat are both okay and safe.”

Leaning forward, Race captured Spot’s lips in a kiss. “I love you and it’s completely okay that you’re not okay. There were a lot of emotions involved in today but I’ll be here for you as we go through the next couple of days, weeks, and months. Kat and Al aren’t going anywhere and they’ll be here for you, when I can’t.”

“Love you, Racer.” Spot smiled slightly. “Also, you did tell me that earlier this morning before I left the house.”

A light blush raised on Race’s cheeks. “You heard me?”

“Yeah . . . but it was a big foggy so I couldn’t actually tell if you said that or if it was my mind playing tricks on me.” Squeezing his hand, Spot sighed. “I kept kicking myself that I didn’t have my phone on me. I only wanted to get you a message that I was okay and that I loved you. I’m just glad I have the opportunity to tell you that now.”

“Love you Spottie.”

“Love you too Racer.”

Later that Evening

He found himself sitting up in bed, a course of antibiotics and pain medication surging through his body. He was happily slurping on a strawberry milkshake while Race was cracking jokes with Jack. Kat was watching her husband and Race with an amused smile on her face. A few of their coworkers had stopped by to check up on them both, not staying long but to say their thanks to Spot for being a hero.

“You okay, Plums?” He asked over the crackle of Race’s laughter at something Jack had just told him.

Looking up from her fast food chicken nuggets, she smiled. “I’m fine. I got to cuddle Addie and Kenzie, take a shower, and pet Basil for a little bit. I had a good cry in the shower.”

“Promise me, you’ll text if you need anything?” Spot gave her a look, knowing full well that she was just as likely as him to keep things bottled up.

Nodding, she smiled. “Of course. I’ve been made to promise by Jack, Albert, Race, and now you. I scheduled my appointment for the trauma specialist for next week.”

“Good. I’m proud of you for scheduling it out already.” Spot said, giving her a look that he knew what she was thinking.

She couldn’t say another word as there was a knock on the door. Kat raised an eyebrow to Spot, silently asking if he knew who it could be. He shook his head, as she got up and answered the door. She smiled at the guests as she reached out and grabbed Addie. She pushed open the door as Momma walked in, Kenzie in her arms.

“Momma!” Spot sat up and grinned despite the pain on his side. Race stood, taking Kenzie from her arms before kissing her cheek loudly. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought it might be a good idea for you two to see your daughter. Addie is just along for the ride, though I thought her parents could see her too.” Medda grinned, watching Jack take Addie from Kat’s arms. “Besides, I wanted to check up on you to make sure you were okay.”

Spot grinned at the woman who had been the replacement momma in his life. Ever since he and Race started dating, Medda had taken him in as one of her own. “Doing alright momma. Will be laid up for a little bit as I recover but I’ll be just fine in the long run.”

“Good.” She patted his foot. “You make sure that son of mine takes care of you, waits on you hand and foot.”

Race, cuddling Kenzie, looked up at his mother with an insulted look. “Hey! As if I wouldn’t wait on him hand and foot! I take offense to that.”

Laughter sounded around the room as Medda shook her head. “I’m just thankful you, Spot, and Katherine are okay. I checked in with Albert and Finch earlier and they’re doing as well as could be expected. I’m just glad all my babies are okay and here with us tonight.”

Kat looked around the room, locking eyes with each of the people in it, giving them a smile. “I’m glad today is almost done and tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow we start to move on from today and though we'll never forget, we will start to move on.”

Kat and Spot locked eyes. Though they had always been close since college, it seemed their bond had dug a little deeper. And she smiled, there was no one she’d rather have in her corner than Spot Conlon, as he would always have her back, just like she always would have his.

Feedback would be wonderful and I'd love to hear your thoughts!

#Life in the ER Newsies #Writing #Spot Conlon #katherine plumber #Albert DaSilva #Racetrack Higgins #Jack Kelly #finch cortez #PA Katherine #Nurse Spot #Nurse Albert

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roses-ruby · 4 years

Text

sinner;

Jungkook x Female Reader

Genre: Cop AU, An onslaught of Angst, Thriller, Mature

Warnings: Obsessive/Possessive behavior, Toxic relationships, Yandere, Stalking, Emotional and Physical abuse, MiSoGYny, Violence, Bad parents, Bad cops, Kidnapping

Word Count: 11,000

Summary: No matter where you run, the past will find you.

The dark clouds approached along the light blue fabric of the sky.

You watched them from your car window, dreading the downpour you’d have to drive home through tonight. With a sigh, you open the door and step out of your 2012 Hyundai Accent, planting your soles firmly onto the cemented parking lot. Your rustic car shakes with the loss of weight and the door creaks at the hinges once you slam it shut.

Somehow the old you had managed to entertain yourself with the thought that receiving a promotion would ultimately be able to afford you a better car, but no – you were stuck with the same failing engine, same worn out tires, same chipped paint aside the right headlight and occasional oil leaks.

Old you was a fool, you think, placing your hands in your coat pocket and walking towards the station in a swift, rigid pace. The air was chilly, and the strong breeze hit your face in unpleasant streaks. You kept your head down, arms clinging to the sides of your body to warm you up. There were barely any people outside the station, just a couple of men in blue quickly ensuring victims or witnesses. Years on the force had given you the eye to spot the differences between your average citizen and a perp with ease.

Perps always had an emptiness in their gaze. A vacant spot that erased their crime from their own mind. Defense mechanism they call it. You weren’t a stranger to that emotion yourself.

With no time to waste, you rush up the steps. As you pull the door of the station open, your ears are immediately filled with chatter, paper clatter and ringing phones. More importantly your body is filled with warmth. Like it was memorized in your head, you sift through the desks and file cabinets with ease, trudging past several rushing bodies on your way to a hallway down the right. Reaching the end of the corridor, you see the four men you were expecting through the clear glass window in front of their room. They were laughing at something one of them had said, a laughter that came to a full stop the moment you burst into the chief’s office.

All eyes were on you.

“There you are, detective! Right on time.” The chief, a charismatically aged character, calls out your last name as he leans back in his creaky leather chair.

“Not like she has anything better to do…” Hyun, the Sergeant’s younger partner, remarks underneath his breath.

“It’s my day off chief…this better be good.”

“Why? Did you have a date?” You catch Hyun’s sarcastic eyes before he bursts into a fit of laughter at your unamused face.

“Like you ever get laid.” Jimin scoffs at him with a raised eyebrow from the opposite side of the room.

“Motherfucker I got laid last night!” Hyun shouts like that was the funniest thing he’s said while Jimin holds back his growing smile.

“Yeah? Your asshole still hurt?” Sarge slams Hyun in the back as they all break out into mutual cackles. Hyun fights back by pushing his older partner into a cabinet while making derogatory remarks.

You try not to scowl at the suffocating testosterone in the air as you watch the boys play around.

“All right, all right, quiet down.” The chief shouts, rubbing his forehead wrinkles with his fingers and looking back at you like he suddenly remembered you exist. “___- uh…we got a little situation for you.”

He reaches to the left of his desk and picks up a file before throwing it up ahead on the table. There was a sudden coating of thick silence around the room as your eyes roam from the detectives scrutinizing you, back to the thick manilla folder thrown out in front of you. You carefully walk up to where the file laid, picking it up and examining the name on the small name card clipped at the top left.

“Jeon Jungkook?”

You question in surprise. Your orbs fly from the chief’s empty face to the white name card.

“How much do you know about Jeon?” The chief asks slowly. You recognize that tone of voice. That tone you’ve witnessed multiple times in interrogation with a suspect. The aura in the room felt strange.

You drop the file to your side so you can look the chief right in the eyes.

“What do you mean? I know that he’s the most accomplished assassin-for-hire to this date. I know that he has his dirty hands everywhere across the East. I know that he’s responsible for Asia’s most influential triad trade. I know that he’s taken down too many of our own and I know he should be jammed into a cage for the rest of his life, chief.”

The chief exhaled, some tension leaving his facial features as he leans further back in his chair and shuts his eyes. You studied the man in pity. Was this how you were bound to end up in a few years? Bald, stressed, only black coffee in your system, suspicious of everyone and everything with a failing marriage and kids who won’t speak to you?

Half of that was actually how you lived like right now.

“I’m sorry, ___. You know how many rumors there are of officers under Jeon’s thumb. Patrollers, lieutenants, even agents…they are all chummy with that bastard. I can’t help but be careful.”

“What do you mean? What does this have to do with me, chief?” You furrowed your eyebrows, still not understanding what was happening or why you were called in on your day off for an ‘urgent’ matter.

“We caught him.” Sarge interjects, “Tip came in this morning about a deal in the abandoned mill off the northwest. He surrendered as soon as we showed up, no casualties.”

You couldn’t stop your mouth from dropping. Did you hear that correctly? Jeon Jungkook, who had been on the world’s most wanted list for 6 years now just happened to be caught in your city, at the abandoned mill in the middle of the day? It was hard to believe but Sarge didn’t seem like he was joking.

“T-that’s great…w- is he in custody right now? Here?”

“He is. But we have a problem though…” You look back at the chief who was staring right at you. “He won’t talk.”

“I mean we expected that, right? He did the same thing in Hong Kong. Wha- is...is he pleading the fifth or-”

“That’s the thing, he surrendered but didn’t make any attempts to cooperate, he’s just been sitting stationary on his ass for 3 hours. The deputy had to phone it in as soon as he got here, so Kane’s bound to show up at any minute. They’ll take him away to some fucking facility and we’ll just have to stick out our tongues and wag our tails while the big boys do the real work. Damn! We couldn’t find jack shit when raiding the fucking mill!” The chief rambled, still massaging his forehead like he had a headache. “And that deadly weapon expert? All he had on him was an old handkerchief.”

He snorted but there was no amusement in his voice. But suddenly his vigor died down and his eyes stared off into the distance.

“…There’s only one thing he said the entire time he’s been in that interrogation room.”

“…What did he say?” You ask carefully, noticing the way everyone present was glaring holes into you.

“He said he’ll only speak to you.” The chief leans towards you, placing his elbows on his desk with his eyes slightly squinting and an unspoken question on his lips.

Suddenly the room turns cold and you feel like you were outside in that freezing chill once again. Your mind runs a mile a minute and your skin breaks out into goosebumps. It all makes sense just then. The threatening atmosphere, the stare downs, the discerning. They all had one question staining their mind. Why would the world’s most powerful hitman and black arms dealer want to talk to some random low-grade rookie detective?

Hell, you didn’t know yourself.

“Me? Why would he want to speak to me?”

“He said he knows you.”

You couldn’t stop yourself from scoffing. That was ridiculous. If you met someone like Jeon Jungkook before, you would remember it…wouldn’t you?

“Chief, I’m telling you, I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

“Then how could he know your full name?” Hyun interrupts

You glare at him from your position in the middle of the room. “How am I supposed to know dumbass?”

He smirks, his disgusting gaze sharpening. “Maybe he just knows how to sniff out the cunts.”

“Watch your fucking mouth Hyun.” Jimin steps between you both in a flash. He was facing away from you, but you could tell he was pissed by how he clenched his fists. Hyun scoffs, the corner of his lips picking up.

“I sniff two.”

It all happens in the blink of an eye. Jimin tries to leap at him but you barely manage to hold your partner back by the shoulder. Smart mouth also gets up from where he was leaning before Sarge rushes up to the younger. They both glare at each other like they were ready to kill while you grimace looking at each of their loaded holsters. The fact that these men were allowed to open carry was the most terrifying part.

“Enough!” The chief shouts, standing from his desk, “Hyun learn how to shut your yap hole for once, and Park, I need you to back off. There’s already a lot of tension in this room cause of Jeon…let’s handle that motherfucker first, officers.”

He warns Jimin to which you hold him tighter, whispering at him to let it go. Eventually the blonde simmers down – they both do, and you watch the way the chief exhales defeatedly.

“___, is there any reason at all- anything you can think of- and really think now, all the way back to before you transferred here- as to why Jeon Jungkook would want to speak to you? Why he would say he knows you?”

“None, chief.” You state calmly. There was nothing to think about, you didn’t know him.

The man stares at you for a moment before nodding. “Alright then, officer. I’ll need you in that interrogation room immediately. Maybe you can find an answer to this whole mess of a situation.”

“What the hell chief?” Hyun immediately complains, “I brought him in! I should be the one questioning him! You can’t just do that to me-” He growls, stepping up to the boss’ desk.

“Shut it!” Sergeant smacks the back of his big head while you breathe through your nose to keep calm.

Hyun always made his dislike for you obvious. It was difficult to pinpoint the exact reason he hated you because there were one too many. You were a stickler for rules and tradition, a woman (more specifically a woman who has made more arrests than him), and not the type to try and fit in. He hated how you didn’t fall in line and mostly kept to yourself – private and introverted. Whatever, you didn’t give a fuck about what he thought of you. Although you were used to Hyun’s moronic nature, it was still rarely this chaotic and tense in your station. Everyone seemed to be at one another’s neck. The most thrill you all had was capturing a local drug dealer a few years back.

But then again, Jeon Jungkook was far from your average criminal.

“You were in there for 2 and a half fucking hours with the captain himself, Hyun. What did you get out of it?” Chief groans

“I-I just need a little more time, just a li-”

“Time we don’t have!” The older man yells at the top of his lungs. “I know you’re the one who cuffed him and I’m real happy for that 20 second thrill you got but you can’t just get your panties in a twist when things don’t go your way. ___ here is just as capable of an officer as you. If she can get him to talk and we can gain some info on him and his little gang before those FBI pigs show up – just think of what that could mean for the team…”

Hyun scowled at the elder for a minute before contemplating on what was just said. Pursing his lips, he took a step back with a face that screamed defeat. “Yes, chief.” He mumbles.

“Good. Now ___,” The attention was once again placed on you. “We don’t have much time. Get out there and find out what that son of a bitch is thinking.”

“Yes, chief.”

“But listen, this man knows your name meaning it’s safe to say he knows your identity. He’s smart and he’s dangerous. Don’t get caught in any of his traps. We’ll be listening from the other side of the wall so if you feel like something’s off, signal us at any time, alright?”

His order had all the men in the room frowning for different reasons. Jimin had on his usual concerned face and even Sarge seemed worried. The thought of any stranger knowing your identity terrified you. But these were the last people on earth you would tell that to. You paid their disturbed expressions no mind as you nodded in determination, pulling your posture straight and holding your head up high.

“Yes, chief.”

You clench the file towards your chest.

There was an unsettling feeling you felt standing outside the door of interrogation room 4. Same one you had felt the first time you became a detective and were ordered to interrogate some big burly guy who had slashed his ex-girlfriend’s tires. Even though you thought you had left your past behind, here it was, surrounding you in an uncomfortable heat. This wasn’t just some petty thief who robbed a local convenience store or some middle-aged man who tried to choke his wife to death.

No. This was much, much bigger than that.

Jeon Jungkook, also known as JJK was a notorious hitman with several successful operations carried out around the world. In Washington, Libya, Hong Kong, Brazil and even Rome. He made the most wanted list when he was only 19 and was infamous for getting the job done. None of the men in his list survived…ever. Not only was he a perfectionist in his handiwork but also knew how to deal with the preparation.

A master of weapons; he could operate a H&K P7 in his sleep and take down 10 operatives with a single combat knife. His knowledge of artillery made him a big deal amongst the triads so setting up a little side business as a black arms dealer was a walk in the park for him. He was strong, fast, smart and feared. Not even the finest could catch him and at times months would go on by without a sighting.

Yet suddenly…he was just behind this door.

And who did he desperately want to see?

You.

By name.

Of all people.

Now you consider yourself a logical person. Someone guided by intellect before anything else. You did the math, worked on the equation, pondered on the systematics but nothing clicked. Nothing. There was absolutely no reason for someone like him to want to meet you but then again, the whole situation was the strangest fucking thing you’ve seen.

Surrendering at an abandoned mill in your jurisdiction would be the last place you’d think Jeon Jungkook would be captured. In your mind, his destiny was meant to end on a grander scale at the edge of the world. Some Hollywood theatrical-like bullshit where they would have him cornered on some rooftop with multiple choppers and snipers ready to take him down. This however – the threatening but anticlimactic atmosphere… it didn’t make any sense. Not for someone as careful and calculated as Jungkook.

For some reason, it just felt like he was waiting on something…something big to happen. A sensation of doom coursed throughout your body. Everything about today felt wrong. Like you and your colleagues were caught right in his talons.

By far, the most bizarre part about the situation was how he knew your name and you. You’ve always kept such a lowkey profile, it just didn’t make any sense.

“___?” The sound of your name startles you and you whip towards your side to see your partner dressed in his usual face of worry. “You alright?”

“…I’m good.” You choke out, trying to sound as lucid as possible.

It doesn’t seem to convince him however as he tilts his head and frowns at you.

“Listen, if you don’t want to talk to him, you don’t have to. Chief shouldn’t have pushed you into this bullshit – why do we even have to listen to what a criminal wants anyway? I-”

“Jimin, calm down. I’m fine.”

“Bu-”

“Your mollycoddling doesn’t help as much as you think it does, Park.”

Your words seem to have surprised him, his stubborn expression morphing into denial.

“That’s…I didn’t mean…”

You shut your tired eyes, feeling bad about the way you spoke to your only friend at the station. This is exactly why everyone thought you were way too rigid and unapproachable. Jimin however was too much of a nice guy, always going out of his way to make friendly with you. It always made you wonder – why would a well-liked, popular and talented guy such as Jimin want to hang around you or even ask the chief to be your partner? Maybe it was pity he felt for you.

That feeling was not something you desired. It left a nauseous impression down your throat. All you wanted was to do your job the best you could, go home, take your pills and sleep your days away. You didn’t want anyone’s kindness or company, you just wanted it to be over. Park Jimin’s sincerity was a hindrance.

“I’m sorry it’s just…I’m real tired of getting treated like this. I get it, I’m a woman and somehow that means I’m a less than, a cause for concern or just a fucking HR liability. I fucking get it without every single one of you reminding me every damn day.”

“You know that’s not what I meant, ___.” Jimin stares at you apologetically

“Then please, Jimin. Let me do my job.” You hold his stare until he eventually sighs, giving you a nod and retreating.

Once he walks away, you let out a shaky exhale, reaching towards the door handle with trembling fingers. Get it together, you whisper to yourself. After all the tough talk, the truth was you weren’t ready. You were scared shitless. Maybe Hyun was right about you.

Maybe your father was.

Drowning out every negative thought, you turn the door handle and push the door open.

You were immediately greeted by the usual silent man on the interrogation chair. His dark orbs were soundlessly watching the wall ahead of him. When you step into the room, he turns his head to look at you. Once he notices you, he instantly breaks out into a smirk. Clenching your file harder, you physically stop yourself from shivering.

You had seen him before, in blurry internet sightings and news coverages. But never up close and personal…and never smiling. It was like you entered a whole different world; the room you were pretty familiar with felt like a surreal fantasy. He was drop dead gorgeous. Lethal, you could say. His face was round, and features were sharp. A prominent nose, pink lips, sharp jaw and intense, smoldering eyes. Midnight black hair shyly covered his temple as he sat upright and confident in his chair.

He was dressed rather casually – a dark blue denim jacket that molded around his muscles and black top that covered his long neck. Tight fitted black pants that were ripped at the knees, displaying his thick, strong thighs and the heaviest leather boots you’ve ever seen. His hands were cuffed to the table so everyone can see them at all times. All he did was sit still but somehow commanded your whole attention. You gulped involuntarily at the sight before you.

You’ve never seen a man more comfortable in his own skin.

When he notices you ogling, he raises a brow in amusement. It alarms you, your eyes shooting to the large mirror on the other side of the wall. They were probably watching you…waiting for you to mess up.

Not wanting to throw them anymore bones, you clear your throat. Walking in and sitting down opposite to Jungkook. You don’t give him the time of day, pretend not to notice his bottomless orbs following your every move as you flip the file open a couple pages. As you continue to ignore him, you swear you could hear him tsk under his breath.

“So… Jeon Jungkook. Aged 23. Professional hitman. Side arms dealer. Wanted by the CIA, FSB, NSA and the Navy seals. Says here you’ve pissed off a lot of people, Jungkook.”

This was routine. The lighthearted police tone you always used. Very rarely would officers come off strongly when interrogating perps unless they were fucking morons. It was better if everyone just cooperated like this was an elementary school’s playground and none of the children got violent. Perps had to feel comfortable enough to spill it all. Being approachable, calm and levelheaded was normal for an efficient detective.

It was normal.

But it didn’t feel normal. You found yourself cringing at your voice, at the way you spoke. Your words felt so out of place and awkward. For some reason, you were hyper aware of everything you were doing. Maybe it was because you were under Jungkook’s extremely scrutinizing gaze or maybe because you knew Hyun was probably sounding out some sarcastic remarks about your abilities behind that mirror. Whatever it was, you didn’t feel good. Yet you continued on like everything was fine.

“You’ve been quite the busy boy, haven’t you?” You continue on, flipping through the file and swallowing the uneasiness.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, doll.”

His pet name for you stops you in your tracks. In the middle of turning a page that hung in midair. Slowly, you look up at him from beneath your lashes and he has on that same damn smirk. Stress-free posture and concentrated gaze. Looks like he was comfortable.

“…Really? Mind telling me about it?”

He continues to stare at you for a moment before letting out a humorous sigh. Jungkook leans forward, resting his elbows on the table and rolling his tongue in his cheek.

“What would you like to know?”

“Whatever you have for me.” You reply back, leaning in and using in the same low tone he used. Mirroring the suspect, playing the game. No matter how shaken you were, you knew how to do your job.

Another smirk appears on his face before he props back on his chair.

“Mhmm, I don’t know how much I can tell you doll. We all have secrets you see, we all got someone to fool. Like you right now.”

As his words settle in, you become confused. And by the way he chuckles, you know he can see it.

“That face you have on, that cute look of determination. Flipping through those pages like you’re learning something new about me. Something that I myself might not know. Like you didn’t already memorize it front to back, way before you came in here...those eyes that are desperately trying to win us over…like you have so much to prove still.”

You were thrown off. The way he unflinchingly delivered his speech in the most persuasive way. There was a certain way you had expected this to go in your mind, a certain power your brain gave you over him but now you realize all your thoughts were dust. In reality, you couldn’t comprehend what the fuck he was going on about which gave him the upper hand.

Thus, you looked into his eyes for an answer. Genuine eyes that shone as clear as day. It made you realize that he had nothing to hide. There was nothing he was trying to erase.

It left you speechless.

Your face must have been very obvious because next thing you knew, he was answering the question that lingered your thoughts.

“Your uncertainty gives you away. I guess it’d be present in anyone who’s constantly been made to feel inferior. All your life, you’ve had to go above and beyond to be considered half as good as your colleagues with dicks. No matter how much pain and humiliation you’ve endured, everyone expects more from you. It would drive anyone mad.” He moves in further, practically whispering at this point. “It could make anyone commit sinful acts.”

“…sinful?”

“My mother used to tell me about them,” He relaxes back in his chair, “…before she left that is. She was big on religion so she’d tell me all about these people who did bad deeds- sinner, she would call them. She’d go on and on about how they look and how they act. How they don’t have a place in this world amongst the good, non-sinners. We’d know exactly how to identify them, wouldn’t we doll?”

In the bright center of interrogation room 4, your pools were glued on the stranger that knew too much but let on too little. Jungkook was the one in cuffs, but you were the one who was starting to feel trapped.

“You don’t know me. We’re not the same.” You said out loud.

He turns silent for a moment, before grinning. “I think we’re more alike than you are aware of, detective.”

“Don’t fall for any of his traps.”

“W-” You swallow, “We’re not here to talk about me…”

You tried sounding as rational and self-assured as before, but your voice was barely above a murmur. And after you spoke, he smiled. His smile was way too innocent compared to who you knew he was.

“So, you want to know about me?” He chuckled “What do you want to know?

This was your chance, you thought, surprised at how easily he seemed to be ready to change the subject matter. You began flipping through the folder nonchalantly again, trying to get back on track.

“How about you start at the mill. Who were you meeting with so early in the day, Jungkook?”

Suddenly, his eyes darken and the look on his face becomes sinister, but that smile never falls. You couldn’t help but shift in your seat at his unexpected gaze.

“If you really want to know about everything that led up to this morning…then we’d have to look back quite a bit. Maybe back years ago…to a kid whose mother was never around and whose father beat the living shit out of him twice a day.”

He throws his head back and breaks out into a laugh at your unimpressed face. You were all ears but the last thing you wanted to do was spend an uncomfortable hour or two in here. The man creeped you out, so if he could just hurry up and get on with it, maybe you could go finish your nap and forget about today.

“Okay, okay, hah,” He sits back up straight, trying to conceal his laughter, “We don’t have to go that far back, but yeah this kid had it hard. But he was never one of those cucks. As he grew older, he couldn’t just sit there and take it. No…it wasn’t like that for him…he had to fight back, and he did fight for what he could, no matter what it took. He-”

“Open this fucking door you little freak!”

The door’s pounding shook the whole room. His anxiety was through the roof as he watched the weak wood quiver each time the monster banged against it. It could break at any moment now and he was afraid. He always, always acted tough. Always fought back the best he could. But the truth was that he was just a skinny teenaged brat.

He didn’t want to fight. He wasn’t built for it.

“Fuck off!” The kid tried to sound as menacing as possible, but it came out a pathetic whimper and only seemed to anger the man on the other side of the locked door even further.

It was hilarious really; the kid couldn’t help but leak tears. He hadn’t eaten in days, it was his 4th beating of the week – he felt lightheaded and his body was on fire. All he wanted in that moment as he clenched his fists over his ears inside the dark bathroom was for the door to stay strong. For anyone to help him.

But as the lock broke and the wood let out a heinous whine and he was hit with sudden light and a large shadow, he realized circumstances do not work in your favor when you stand there and do nothing. And the moment he understood that, was the moment his life was about to drastically change. More accurately, the very next week.

When you entered his life.

“So- Jeon Jungkook, age 16, failing high school student…written up 4 times, visited juvie twice. Now, tell me why you beat up that kid, Jeon?” You stood up straight, writing away mindlessly in your small notebook.

The kid did nothing but stare at you through his bruised eye and busted lip, while he sat on the edge of your desk. It wasn’t his first time dealing with the cops and something inside him always knew it wouldn’t be his last. When you didn’t hear his answer, you huffed, looking up at him from the pages between your fingers.

“Well? I don’t have all night you know. I could just lock you in.”

He smirked. It was easy to tell you were new, he noticed as soon as you walked in and were told to book him by the guy who arrested him. Your uniform had been pressed with great care, not one hair was out of place and your badge was polished and perfectly positioned. It felt like you just came out of one of those corny films about the ‘good’ cops; fighting crime for justice and truth. The kid was even younger than he was at that moment when he realized just how full of bullshit that trope was.

One glance around the room, at the other pigs in uniform and he knew you had just gotten the job. That your spirits hadn’t been crushed unlike these soulless bodies wandering the station’s premises.

That was the best quality about the kid, he had always been observant. A lot more than his peers or even the adults in his life. He could tell a great deal about you at one glance. You seemed jittery and nervous, trying to write as neatly as possible. It felt like you were trying to get someone’s attention – a high ranking older officer, who you kept observing from the corner of your eye. As the kid watched that man chortle with his equally dull colleagues, he thought there was a resemblance in you both, but that there also wasn’t.

“Then why don’t you?” The kid replied a bit too sarcastically, wanting this to be over with as quickly as possible so maybe he could get some sleep for the first time in 3 days. It would do him a lot of good actually, being away from that house for a little while. Subtly, he was pleading.

“Look kid,” You grimaced, “I know that guy you beat up, he’s a racist little shit. He probably did something to you, I’m sure or you wouldn’t carry so many self-defense wounds along your hands. There might be some way I could help you; I want to help you. But only if you tell me what really happened, alright?”

It was silent just then. He was silent.

“I want to help you.”

He was expecting you to reprimand him for his smart mouth and then lock him up. That’s what anyone who took one glance at his file did. It was filled with crap about him, shit that they peered their nose over because they were so much better than him. The kid never trusted adults; they never did anything for him. He was the child that everyone discriminated against to remind themselves how lucky they were. At least my child’s not like that, is what they all thought. No one cared about his side of the story. No one but…you.

Your answer was something that caught him off guard for the first time in years.

“Why do you want to help me? I’m a criminal.”

“Oh yeah, you got a record,” You reply casually, flipping through your notes, “I glanced over it, it’s all for stealing food.”

Suddenly you became quiet. Taking a step back, you begin to study him up and down from where he sat.

“Is… is your dad not feeding you?”

Your gaze shifted further into concern and he held his breath. He’s never seen those eyes before on anyone – never for him. Shit, his own mother never looked at him like that. Like she felt something for him. Not even when the bitch ran off with the neighbor and left him with that monster – young, weak and helpless.

Having someone worry about him made him feel strange, his whole body broke out into a quiver and his eyes watered. That kid could see himself in the reflection of your eyes that had widened dramatically at the change in his demeanor. And he tried to stop himself but for some reason, he wanted you to worry about him.

“Uh- I..wai- don’t cry-'' Flustered, you scrambled around, trying to find a tissue. You were new at the job and you weren’t used to people breaking apart yet. Everyone around you seemed so busy, hustling around the station like they didn’t see a teenage boy in the start of a mental breakdown…that or they didn’t care. Finally, you grab the handkerchief your mom had stuffed inside your uniform pocket and carefully hold it out for him.

But you drop it in a flash when you witness him get struck across the face the very next instant.

“YOU FUCKING TROUBLESOME BRAT!”

You flinched at the loud, unforgiving voice that resounded throughout the station. Everyone instantly went noiseless and it felt like the station just halted for the first time in years. All you could hear were the lingering ringing of phones.

“How many times have I warned you not to make trouble? You’re a disgrace!” The man spit into the kid’s face. He was tall, maybe 6’2, and muscular compared to the teenager but stood unevenly, favoring his left foot and walked with a limp. His face bore a scar on the cheek that was partially covered with a jungle of facial hair. His eyes seemed insane with anger and he reeked of hard liquor. You had to remind yourself that you had a taser in your holster.

Slowly, you looked back at the kid whose fringe covered his eyes. He hadn’t moved an inch since the man slapped his face. A large red handprint on his already wounded skin. It pulled at your heartstrings.

“S-sir?” You cleared your throat to which the crazy man turned his sneer towards you. But you couldn’t let that faze you. “You can’t just hit a child like that, I need you to back away.”

That was the best you could do at sounding confident, but your strength wavered as soon as the man took a step towards you.

“You trying to tell me how to raise my son, girlie?”

The scent of alcohol clouded your senses. You opened and closed your mouth like a fish. Your body started trembling, but you still tried to stand your ground until-

“Jeon!”

Another loud voice interrupts you. This time though, you recognized that voice. Your dad steps between you and the snarling man and you almost cry out of relief. You gape at both of the men in awe, staring one another down. The tension wraps around your throat and you worry for the kid behind all of this. If a brawl breaks out, he’s likely to get injured…

For a second you tried peeking back at your desk over your dad’s shoulder, until you hear sudden robust laughter in front of you.

What the fuck?

“You son of a bitch, how’ve you been?” Your father daps his hand with the terrifying man and your face morphs into confusion.

The demeanor and the whole damn atmosphere between the men changed, just like that. All the suffocating animosity had vanished in an instant as if it never existed, which left you dumbstruck and standstill.

“I’ve been good you dick. You’re a lieutenant now, I see. No wonder I haven’t seen you around the parlor much.” The guy cackles loudly, making you cringe at his rotten teeth and bad breath.

“Ahh~ You know, the old ball and chain.” Your father so kindly refers to your mother, “Heh, actually I’m a sober man now! My oldest just became an officer like her father a month ago.” He moves to your side to pat you on the shoulder. You freeze under his touch and your wide pupils flicker between him and Jeon who took a newfound interest in you.

In any other instance, you would have been ecstatic to have your father compliment you. But right now, your brain had a hard time processing everything and you kept glancing at the stoic kid.

“This one yours?” The man smirks, eyeing you up and down in a disturbing way. You almost tasered him then and there. “She’s a bit noisy, isn’t she?”

Your dad laughs louder than before while you clench your fist.

“Relax, she’s just a kid – a whole rookie. She doesn’t know how all this works yet.”

You try not to grimace at his words. Here you were hoping he would have believed in you a bit more if you received a perfect score on the academy’s exam.

As his laughter dies down, your dad looks off to the side, just behind the giant man and raises his eyebrow. “And I take it this one’s yours?”

Jeon sighs, ruffling his hair with his calloused fingers. “Sadly. The kid’s a lost cause, ___. They can’t all be like your pretty little daughter. Every damn day hurting someone, busting balls, messing with the other kids…stealing. Just…you know after his mother left…”

He becomes mute suddenly. Staring at the ground in great concentration like he just got too emotional. Funny, you saw that look in another man last week. A man who lied about not murdering his wife. You tsk under your breath and look back at the kid, almost jumping out of your skin when you catch him staring right at you from where he sat. No more vulnerability in his young eyes. They were once again making the same hardened expression you saw when he first walked in here. Something felt very off.

Your attention flies back to the taller men when you feel your father shift towards the older Jeon.

“I understand.” He states sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder for comfort. “Take him home…”

It took you a second to snap out of your mute state.

“But dad, he-”

“Let them go, ___. This man here,” He signals at the guy, “He used to be one of the greatest and most respected officers of his time. Spent his best years serving. It’s the least he deserves. It’s alright.”

“No that’s not- Dad!” You begin flipping through your notebook, trying to show your father your notes, “Look at the kid’s fingers and arms! His face! He looks malnourished and some of those wounds look old- and- and this man’s obviously drunk and agressi-”

“___!” Your father shouts in rage, effectively shutting you up. “This is a command from your direct superior! They’re leaving.”

“But-”

At that moment he menacingly leans in, close enough to breathe in your ear.

“Don’t embarrass me further, child.” He whispers with pure venom.

And just like that, all the fight in you leaves. Your shoulders slump and head falls to the floor. There were tiny needles poking you everywhere and your face felt hot – ashamed. His words ring inside your head like a mantra and you want to just run away and hide.

All you did was disappoint him.

Your dad apologizes for you and the next thing you hear is the man grabbing the kid by the arm and you couldn’t help but physically wince at how much pain he would be in at the moment. He staggers out of earshot and you do nothing but look at the ground. How could you possibly face the kid now? After you told him you’d help him.

Because of that you don’t notice anything. You don’t notice the fact that your handkerchief was no longer on the floor. Nor do you notice the kid’s eyes which stayed on you the whole time he was being dragged out of the building.

You sat there, speechless.

Jungkook tilted his head, softening his gaze at your shaken form.

“He looked at you the whole time after that. Only you…but you never noticed.”

You on the other hand couldn’t hear shit he was saying. All you could think about was that vague, really fucking vague memory you had of the moment he described. Your mind was everywhere, on your father, on his father, on that event that you ended up failing to recall somehow, at your conversation with the chief earlier.

“All he had on him was an old handkerchief.”

How does someone process this? How did you forget this? There were countless of cases you’ve dealt with before, so many unusual moments that you just began throwing them out of your head for your very own sanity. That was the truth, but would anyone believe you? Jeon Jungkook was from your old hometown. Jeon Jungkook was someone you almost booked before. Jeon Jungkook was not someone who could’ve been forgotten. You, no longer in control of your facial expression, glance over at the mirror in horror. Would the chief actually think you lied?

In the back of your mind, you knew the real reason you chose to leave all the memories of your past behind – suppress them down and drown them out. But that information wasn’t something you could reveal to anyone. Ever. The one thing you were told to do was not fall into his trap, yet here you are. Your mind was a mess, which meant there was no way you could have the advantage in this situation, and you were no longer fit to interrogate him. Desperate and anxious, you place your palm on your forehead like you were in deep thought. In reality, that was the signal. You wanted to escape this place.

Jungkook glares at the side of your face, getting angrier the more you ignore him. Today was supposed to be different, his one free day where he could finally get you to notice him. And there you sat, still not looking his way. Didn’t you know you didn’t need to worry about anyone else when he was right here?

“Doll.” He practically sneers but then simmers down and smiles when you finally turn back to him – all wide eyed.

“I wanted to thank you.” He continues, “Because that day changed me forever…”

You said nothing. Wondering why the men on the other side were taking so long. He took your silence as a chance to finish his story.

“I took my beating…took all of it and said nothing. Broke my rib and wrangled my neck but I said nothing. He was drunk, so I waited for him to tire himself out…waited till he passed out on that fucking couch. Then I strangled him…with that very piece of cloth you gave me.”

This has got to be some fucking nightmare.

“And it felt really good.” His voice slightly waivered, “To watch him turn red and struggle, to watch that bastard’s life leave his eyes while in return he saw me become his demise.” He stops rambling suddenly as if recalling where he was, “Within a span of 8 minutes…I became a criminal for killing the monster who tortured me every single day. I was a sinner. I hit rock bottom. And once you’re there, it takes a lot of blood, sweat and tears to climb back up to the top.”

As you heard him rant on, your mind started to drift off. For some reason, once you slowly start to remember that tethered kid, you felt something you haven’t felt for a while. Sympathy? Sadness? Or were you just reminiscing about who you were back then. The bright young woman who had a lot to offer the world. You shake your head, looking down at the table. That girl was dead, you chose to forget her and went along with whatever life threw at you.

Your father was right to criticize your soft heart and if he were alive today you were sure he wouldn’t be able to identify you. No longer were you that naïve child who stubbornly believed that there was good in this world – in its people. It didn’t matter to you the reasons why someone committed a crime – criminals were just labeled orange jumpsuits. Jungkook had met a completely different person back then, not you.

Then why did your chest ache this much?

“J…Jungkook…I…didn’t remember…”

“I know,” He states ensuringly, making you look back up at him, “You left your past behind, after all.”

Suddenly, all the color left your face. Your heart started beating faster and you broke out into a cold sweat. You faintly thought you heard a bang behind the mirror, but you didn’t care. For the first time since you got here, your whole attention was solely on Jungkook.

It made him so happy.

“W-what…”

“It hurt when you transferred, leaving a big hole in my already impoverished life. But I understood your reasons. How can someone stay after such an incident?”

He knows.

“H-H…How did you know…”

“Oh, I know everything about you, doll.” His sinister smirk reappeared as he relaxed back into his chair and you pursed your lips as you felt an oncoming panic attack.

He knows, he knows, he knows, he-

“I know your dad wanted a son. I know that it kills you inside to never get the respect you deserve no matter what you do and even the men who claim to respect you patronize you in subtly conditioned ways. I know what your favorite food is. I know how much you love whiskey. I know you’re wearing those red panties that I fucking love on you.” He takes a breath as you let out an involuntary gasp, “And I know it was an accident.”

The first tear fell down your cheek. Shock, anger, fear? None of it mattered anymore; it was useless to pretend. You knew he knew. It was over. He stared at you in pity, like seeing you cry made him hurt.

“How could he not want someone as beautiful as you, doll?” Jungkook whispers, as if he couldn’t believe it himself.

“I wanted…to be the best for him…I tried…” Your voice strains

“I know you did. I know. Which is why you had no choice…”

In an instant, it all comes crashing back.

You drove down the lane a bit too clumsily, as you took the long way home.

It was almost midnight and you were speeding past 80 on a two-way lane off a cliffside road, but you didn’t give a single fuck. Your smashed mind was preoccupied at the moment.

A whole year had gone by, but your dad still hadn’t given you an ounce of trust he had for the other officers. Your dad – the fucking police lieutenant. You told him – you warned him that the man was armed, but he still charged in blind, without back up. Almost got the rest of the family members killed by doing something so crazy and careless.

Then he blamed you for not following his lead when he came out.

The tears came out faster than you could wipe them. Growing up in that home was horror. Him being on the force somehow also made him a conservative, self-righteous douchebag. Berating you for the way you’d dress, the way you ate, the way you talked to the way you styled your hair. It made you sick.

You tried so desperately to win over your own father’s love and approval from such a young age and you had nothing to show for it. Deep down, you knew it was because he wanted a boy. A boy who could become a cop like him. And a part of you thought that maybe if you became a cop anyway – one as respected and admired as he was, then he would finally admit he was wrong. At the very least he could finally tell you how proud he was of you.

You went to such lengths to spend the year being the best damn officer your town had seen. 26 arrests, 1 successful drug raid, multiple successful testimonies and extensive gang knowledge. As a plus, you had become beloved in the community. That took the most effort – you had to look the prettiest even while overworking yourself with double shifts. Be traditional and confident but not an overbearing prude. And never let the ‘unnatural’ masculine traits your job gave you, overpower your ‘natural’ feminine ones. Sounds completely simple doesn’t it? Now everyone praised you right and left. It was record breaking; you were the shit.

Yet he still wouldn’t refer to you as detective.

It broke you apart. You were at the end of your wits. Out excelling every male peer in your force. But you had zero to show for it. Which means all your efforts were for nothing.

The pain in your chest got heavier by the minute which made you whimper. Tonight, you had drunk yourself silly but not enough to take away the ache. To help yourself along, you grabbed the half-empty bottle laying in the driver’s seat in a swift motion and popped it open. Your car entered the opposite lane without your knowledge.

You chugged down the last of the bitter liquor, smashing the bottle against the driver’s side window. The anger still remained as you wiped the remnants of alcohol away from your mouth. Your vision was hazy, and you felt so pathetic – dirty, disgusting, like you were rotting from the inside. All you ever wanted to do was earn your father’s acceptance, so much so that you lost sense of any individuality you had left in you.

For a second, everything was so still and quiet, that it felt like all would be okay. The night was dark but serene.

But that tranquility vanished the instant you witnessed two bright lights closing in on you.

It all happened too quickly. You immediately swerved to your right, a loud honking and the friction of tires blasting through your ears. Years of practice and one whole one of police chases makes your instincts faster than normal and you immediately apply the clutch as your foot floors the break and you grip the handle sturdy. Your car rotates haphazardly to the right, but you were able to come to a complete halt before your front engine crashed into a tree.

Yet it feels like you did just that as your body lunges forward and the sounds of a car smashing against shrubs pierces through your ears. You were thankful you had your seat-belt on so you didn’t go flying out the windshield, but all you could think about was the immense pressure against the front of your body. The whiplash left you in shock for a couple seconds.

“Fuck.” You breathe out in agony, bringing your arm up to your sprained shoulder.

As you gather yourself together, you finally remember your surroundings and your head whips to the opposite end of the road to where you finally spot the car you almost hit. In the disoriented dark, you really had to strain into the distance. The car hadn’t been as lucky as yours as it thrashed towards the cliff side of the road. Seemed like it was laid halfway out on the edge. A non-threatening, old compact SUV – most likely a family car. Possibly children present. You could hear them screaming.

Fuck.

You had to help them as quickly as you could. But the instant you tried stepping out, you saw the gleam of a bottle under the driver’s seat.

And just like that, your body fell limp. Because you were more sober now than you’ve ever been in any moment of your life, you barely remembered…you were drunk.

All of the pain in your body immediately changed into fear – your eyes became wide and your pores leaked sweat.

You were drinking.

If you get out to help them, they were bound to smell the alcohol. If they’re able to identify you…if the police are called-

Everything would end tonight. Your career would be over, your family’s name will be dragged through the mud publicly and your father-

Your father would never forgive you. He’d never speak to you again. You’d be disowned.

Don’t embarrass me further, child.

Don’t embarrass me further, c̴h̶i̵l̴d̶

don’tembarrassmefurtherd̸o̴n̷’̸t̶e̶m̷b̷a̴r̴r̴a̴s̸s̷m̷e̶f̷u̷r̴t̸h̸e̴r̴d̵̜͓̈́͝ǫ̵͖̏͝n̴̘̈́’̷͕͐̈́t̴̗̺̃ẻ̵̢͓m̷͉̕b̸̡͕́̆a̴͔̬͆r̴̦͒r̸͉͑̿ạ̵̳̽s̵͙̏s̵̳̣̀̇m̵͉̬̐͋ë̸͓̝̕f̶̙̑u̶͈͠ř̷͔͈̃ẗ̴̠̈́h̸̖͍̅e̵̟̘͆r̷̫̕d̵̜͓̈́͝ǫ̵͖̏͝n̴̘̈́’̷͕͐̈́t̴̗̺̃ẻ̵̢͓m̷͉̕b̸̡͕́̆a̴͔̬͆r̴̦͒r̸͉͑̿ạ̵̳̽s̵͙̏s̵̳̣̀̇m̵͉̬̐͋ë̸͓̝̕f̶̙̑u̶͈͠ř̷͔͈̃ẗ̴̠̈́h̸̖͍̅e̵̟̘͆r̷̫̕d̴̼͚̠̈́̓ơ̶̪̜̅n̸̻̬͕͂͊͝’̸̼̪͉̌̒́t̷̲͓̐͒e̸̗̅͗m̵̨̹̫̓͑b̴̯̗̪̌̑å̷̬͕̻r̵̤͌̅̈́r̸̦̃̅̑ą̵̢̖̋s̷̟̜̄͆s̶̢̬̄m̸͎͗̈́́e̸̘̩̒̋f̷̝̦̟͆ũ̴͚̖̤r̶̙̫͒͝t̸̘͓̾͗͝ḩ̴̫͔̏̒ȇ̶̪̳͠d̶̳̆͂o̶͈̣͊̈́͐ņ̴̼̾’̵̨̆͂t̷̠̺͒̾̔ę̷̯̮̅̓m̸̪̑ͅb̷͇͐͑a̶̩͛̇ͅr̴̢̟̰̄͝r̸̞͙͎͑̅a̶̓̋̃ͅs̴̹͍͋̅̉s̷͓͓͎͒̆̐m̴̹̮͙̃e̶̲͗͠f̷̨͇̐́u̶̫͆̿̉r̶̰̗͑̾t̵̨̼͉͊͘h̸̻͔̥̎̒e̴̲̍̚r̷̺̘̆d̷̟̀̌̃õ̴̲̬̕n̸̡̕’̷̨̭̘̽t̶̛̼̀ë̸͉̲̂ḿ̶͚̌̚ḇ̸͇̗̿̏ȃ̶͖̥͔̿͑r̶̲̝̣͗̅r̴̖͖͘͝a̶͚͉͚͝s̴͎̘͑s̶͙̲̜̾̚m̵̨̧͒̈ẽ̵̱f̶̯̓̑̀ủ̶͍ȑ̵̻̼̍͒͜t̸̞͕͐̉̚h̵̺͐e̷̟̠̪̅͑́r̷̹̔͠d̶̯̼̫͒̑̅ȏ̴͎n̵̹̯̈͗’̷̢͋ṯ̵͓̈́ȅ̸̠ṃ̶̲̓b̸̘̻̈̆͜͝ä̷̢́̈r̴͍̫̐̌r̷̞̂͐͑à̵̛̤̌s̶̠̟̃ş̸͍̜́m̵̰͋̏̈́ë̴̬́f̵̝͈̋̄̚u̶͉͉͇͂̓r̴͚̉̎t̴̹̤͆ȟ̸͔͔̈́ė̶̹͆d̸̟̫͆̈́ő̸̲̔͠n̸̠̈́͌’̴̮̏̂̏t̷̩̦̓̿͒e̵͉̲̰̽̿m̶̡̛b̸͓̥͙͋ă̵̭̈́r̶͓̓͐r̵̤̮̾̌a̴̗͒͘s̸̫̉̆̀s̵̠̉͝m̸̪̗͛̽e̸͈͒̔f̶̺̟͂́u̷̢̧͈͐r̵͉͚̈́͝ẗ̴͚̹͉́̋́h̵͈̰̥̔d̷̟̉ͅo̶̩̟̺̍̒̾ṇ̴͋̾’̶̟̣̓̚ť̵̳̩e̵��̡̼m̷͉̺̈́b̶̢̙̝͌a̶̳̟̐͠r̶͉̅̿ŕ̶̞̌̃a̶̠̿̊̽ͅs̸̡̨̩̽ş̶̯͎̃̀̈́m̵͙͓̦̍́e̸̠͍̳̽̆f̷͔͛̈́u̴͉̻͂̆͒r̴̥̩̀̑̋ṭ̶͔̯̊̂ḣ̵̡̭̰̔͆ễ̵͎̚r̷̝͔̙̀d̴͈͕͔͊ȍ̴̅̓ͅn̷͙̈’̴̪̜͎̓̈́͠t̴̝̾̚e̵͇̭͐ḿ̵̙̊b̷̧̝͆͛̔ͅa̴̗̲͒͠r̷͉͍̹̀́r̶̨͎̤̄a̶̙͔̳̾́͐s̸̳͑s̴̨͆͆̀ṃ̸̏̕͠è̴͎̻͆̚f̷͎͇̀ͅu̶͔̺͌̏̊͜r̷̩̂͗t̸̝̓̏h̶̠͉̏͝ȩ̷̬̣̈r̵̼̍ď̵͔̊o̵̡͉̣͑͂͒n̵̜̋́’̵̠̈́ͅṭ̷͛͝͝e̸̮͆m̷͚̈̃͊b̵͚͐͊a̷͈̲̘͛͆̚ŕ̵̻̦̘̓͠ŕ̵̹̭̈̎a̷̻̺̫̍͝s̶̜̠̹͑s̴̼̈́m̵̯̏ĕ̷̲̯̣f̵̹͔̍͝ų̸̤͌̿̀r̵̨͓̳̽͝t̵͉̟̃̐h̴̘̰͖̓͛e̵̺̽͠r̸̡̟̻̒̈́

“NO!” You shout, covering your ears with your palm to drown out his scalding voice.

Jungkook finally stopped talking, watching you cave into yourself on the chair in front of him. He would’ve done something if his hands weren’t tied down to the table. You looked so fragile and pained, it reminded him of himself in those days. This was the very look you had on after your father whispered something to you all those years ago. As he thought, he was always right about you.

You both were the same.

“_-”

“Shut up!” You scream, clenching your eyes shut and trying to erase the image of the car from your mind. “Just shut the fuck up!”

“You had no choice, ___.” He continued, his voice softer than before, “You had to drive off.”

“No I…” You look back up at the man in front of you through hard blurry tears, trying not to choke on your words. “I didn’t mean it…I didn’t- I promise dad…I did- i-it was an accident…”

“___...I know. It was you father who broke your spirit. It was the world that crushed your soul. They drove you mad, doll. They made you a sinner.”

You say nothing as the tears continue to fall, getting lost inside his bottomless pools.

“You drove off and left the family there. But he didn’t.”

He?

“That kid you never noticed…the kid who would’ve done anything for you.”

His response further tethers you into confusion. You furrow your eyebrows, not understanding what he was trying to say.

“That kid who only looked at you. He was right behind you that night.”

You feel a shiver crawl up your spine.

The kid was only slightly older and less miserable that night.

He was involved with every bad name in that town, aka his late father’s acquaintances. They provided him a new shelter, transportation and a means to earn food, as long as he did their bidding. Crime was a lot more organized than he would have ever thought. It was a hard life, but he was learning to survive. Committing small acts here and there for big games. No longer was he some petty thief who stole in desperation, he was a kid with so much blood on his hands that he couldn’t even stand looking at them

There were nights where he would have these dreams about ruling over an empire, of being feared and respected and every time he took a life, those dreams seemed closer to his bloody grasp. Although he hated taking orders, he became obedient to the never-ending pain. There was nothing he wouldn’t do to move up the ladder, but it would be a while till he could see a light.

Throughout this struggling livelihood, he did have one small, precious source of sun in his life. You.

Anytime he could, he would come watch you. Sometimes just small glimpses to get him through the day. Watching you on a stake out, prance around town, or just lounge about in your room. It was the most dangerous thing he did since you were a cop. Every time he went to you, he risked everything, but he was extra careful. There were times where he almost got caught, like the time he was masturbating in your bushes as you walked around with a towel on – don’t look so disgusted, he was just a dumb kid – but thankfully you never did find him. On the contrary, you helped him build all the stealth he’d need for his future.

In some ways, he thought of you as the better half of him. A person whose existence was nothing but a cause for regret, yet you didn’t let that corrupt you, unlike him. You were better than him – righteous and kind. Deep down inside, you were who he wanted to be.

Now that he was free of that monster’s grasp, he would imagine walking up to you as a free kid man. Wondering if you would remember him. He didn’t know what he would say, if there was anything at all he could have told you. It was a yearning he didn’t understand, he was just too young and unsettled.

The kid was content with watching you from far away because he knew he wasn’t worthy of you. It still didn’t stop him from being utterly in love with the thought of you alone.

That night he saw you leave the station. He observed you outside the bar’s window getting wasted. There was a strange feeling he had that night as you left a drunk mess, stumbling towards your 2012 Hyundai Accent and rushing out of the parking lot. The kid would soon learn to always trust his instincts.

He was driving right behind you, making sure he kept his distance. You were one hell of an officer, no doubt. Nevertheless, you were too out of it that night to tell anyone was tailing you. It all happened too quickly. The clumsy driving, the crash, and the aftermath. His heart almost jumped out of his chest when he saw you skid, pressing his own break as hard as he could. But you were able to stop before you crashed into anything, much to his relief.

The kid was trying to think about what he could do. You weren’t too hurt, were you? Should he come out and help you? He didn’t even care about the other car, just observing you in the far distance. As he continued to think, he decided he would come out and see if there was any way he could help you.

And as soon as he clicked his door open, he watched you do something he never would have imagined.

He saw you drive off.

It took a minute to realize what just happened. And the kid had always been observant, so he knew exactly what you were thinking. For the first time that night, he looked over at the other car.

These people could destroy you. Everything you have worked so hard for. He knew exactly why you had to leave. But he couldn’t do something like that. The kid had to help you, just like you did for him at one point.

So, he did the only thing he knew how. He drove up to the edge where their car hanged halfway. There were people yelling from inside, he could hear children. The car began blaring their horn as soon as they saw him drive up.

He drove up really close, close enough that his bumper banged against theirs.

Your mind was a blank state.

“He pushed them off.” Jungkook finishes off calmly.

You let out the breath you were holding, your bottom lip quivering softly. “Is…is that why-”

“Yeah. That’s why when you came back a minute later…they were gone.”

They were gone. Everything was as clear as day. You remember driving off, rushing even harder than before as you cried your heart out. It was such a stupid and rash decision – so fucking stupid. Half a minute later, you stepped on the break once again. As your car came to a halt, all you could hear were your sobs and the immobile engine. Your body hurt, everything hurt so, so, so much.

Was it worth it? Is gaining your father’s love worth killing someone over? Slowly, you glanced at the rear view mirror. Looking at the girl with swollen eyes. She wasn’t someone you recognized. The promise to serve and protect rings in your ears. All you were in this moment, was a hypocrite. You didn’t deserve anyone’s praise if this was your reality, you didn’t deserve anyone’s pity.

It was really dark out, and you found the slightest comfort in the world’s shadow. You bit your bottom lip, trying to stop your tears. It didn’t work – it was useless. All worth nothing.

Which is why you screamed out on the top of your lungs, banged your fists against the wheel before turning your car back around.

No matter what happens…you had to save them.

And you tried to. Within a minute, you were back where you before. But once you got there, that one place you’d never forget – those shrubs, the cliff, that road – they were gone. You got out, looking around, hoping that the family survived. The cliff itself was too high and the night was too dark to see below. Pulling at the strands of your hair, screaming out ‘hello?’, you appeared mad.

Till this day you don’t know if it was your gut instinct or an entity bigger than you that gave you a sign, if not the newspaper a few days later, you just knew they were dead. You fell to your knees – a broken woman. Not having any idea of those dark eyes that cried along with you that damned night.

Not until now.

Jungkook was the one who killed them, but how much does that change, really? It was still you who drove off, still you who left them in his hands. You were so deep in thought that you didn’t hear the sound of the interrogation room’s door cranking open. The man opposite you kept his eyes unflinchingly on you, waiting for this all to come to an end.

The last thing you felt was something heavy against the back of your head before you fell unconscious.

“Shit- that was so hard you bastard, I told you to use the chloroform shit.” Jungkook shouts at the man holding the gun’s handle.

“I couldn’t fucking find it, I told you that at the house, kid. Besides, she’s a big girl, she’ll be fine.” The man puts the barrel back in his holster before ripping his badge off his belt and throwing it aside.

“Shut the fuck up and uncuff me, Jimin.”

The blonde sighs, grabbing his keys from his back pocket.

“Tells me to infiltrate a police department, forces me to befriend and stalk some random cop girl, makes me hang out with those pigs. Fucking prick.” Jimin murmurs under his breath as he paces over and unlocks the shackles on said prick.

Jungkook winces, grabbing his wrist and twisting it around to get some circulation going. Then he stretches his neck before standing up and dusting his pants. Fuck, this chair was uncomfortable. He points at some fresh blood staining the elder’s chin, prompting him to wipe it off.

“So, what’s the situation outside?”

“Me and Kane took care of all of them. We took our time with Hyun, like you wanted. Now Kane’s waiting in the van for us.”

“Good.” Jungkook nods, looks like everything went according to plan. He glances over at your limp form and walks up to where you sat insentient. With a huff, he got on his knees so he could see your face up close, like he’s always wanted to.

“I can’t believe this day is here.”

Jimin looks between you both. “What are you gonna do with her?”

The younger cups your cheek. “You know I was ecstatic that night. I was…fuck, I never thought you could be with me. But that night, you proved that you were meant to be mine. And I waited so long for this moment. This moment where I could introduce myself to you as your equal. It’s why I was out on that mill this morning, detective. I wanted to meet you so much that it hurt.”

…That wasn’t an answer to his question but Jimin knew not to further bother his boss. There probably was a lot he had planned for you, but he wasn’t going to say it. No one ever really knew what this kid was thinking, anyway. He was a cryptic bastard.

Jungkook turns towards Jimin and extends his free hand out to him. Without being asked, Jimin reaches into his front pocket and pulls out the old handkerchief. His boss usually didn’t go this long without holding it. He places it into the younger’s hand without a word.

Turning back around, Jungkook places the cloth right underneath your shut eyes. He gently wipes away the tears leaking out.

“No one will ever hurt us again, doll.” Jungkook whispers before standing back up.

He places the handkerchief back in his own pocket and moves in to pick you up bridal style. Safely tucking you in his arms.

“Lead the way.” He orders Jimin who nods before opening the door of interrogation room 4.

___

This is absolute trash :))) I hope ya’ll enjoy tho. Lemme know what you thought, srsly because this fic stepped out of a certain comfort zone for me. I am absolutely open to part 2 if ya’ll want. if there is something you’re curious about, ask away.

#yandere bts #yandere jungkook #bts angst #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts #jungkook #R:SIN

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