#sex gone wrong

[hereticallyeverafter]

Speaking of people having sex around kids at inappropriate times... STORYTIME!

Warning: hospital talk; no death/gore, just wildly inappropriate lol

My son is ✨️medically fragile✨️ so we spend a lot of time at our local PICU- pediatric intensive care unit- because he's on a ventilator. Like, by default. So my husband and I are basically Bros™️ with the entire staff, many of whom have saved my son's life. Multiple times.

Anyway. So one day during a stay, my social butterfly of a husband who will shoot the shit with anybody, asked the nurse what's the most inappropriate thing they've caught a visiting family doing.

So, in our PICU, there's beds separated by curtains on the main floor, then 1 glassed-in isolation room, and three private rooms on each wing. We were in one of the private rooms. If you're visiting family, you step in and the child's bed is right there, then there's a bathroom with a shower. Obviously, there's no actual cameras in these rooms, but nurses come and go constantly. I know you know where this is going.

They've busted parents- more incidents than once- fucking having sex in these rooms, with their sick child right there, on a hospital floor full of CHILDREN fighting for their lives, with parents next door sobbing over their kid, alarms going off, everything's tense always etc etc.

What in the tasteless hell. People really are the worst.

#cursed knowledge #storytime #icu stories #sex gone wrong

[revivisection]

your gentle hands are used to killing

#my art #pathologic #artemy burakh #daniil dankovsky #burakhovsky #blood #violence #stabbing #idk #insane transgender sex #gone wrong gone emotional

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

#feel free to add thoughts! just be nice #Was a bit afraid to post this but now I don't care lol #I'm a tired bitch #Youtube and idiots on tumblr got me acting up. #This may be too thorough but idc. #idk why the colors get weird #I don't know how other people can see all these things lined up together and not see how he was not okay. #like I said you can still like circe the goddess but know this was wrong! #might make private sometime but fuck it #anti-madeline miller #Circe the goddess is “fine”. Circe the book is not #It sounds like it does her dirty anyways. Odyssey Circe would take book Circe out back and beat the absolute shit outta her. #As another Madeline I'm ashamed. #if you bring up the tele-GONE-y then BEGONE yourself #odysseus #the odyssey #odyssey #circe #tagamemnon #tw rape #tw sa #tw sex assault #crying shaking throwing up #greek mythology #circe rant #odyssey rant #anti madeline miller #anti circe #the BOOK #Mad rambles

[maulfucker]

So fucked up that obimaul is a rarepair. What do you mean not everyone is obsessed with enemies to lovers with a Force connection, where one side is completely obsessed with the other who barely acknowledges him (but is just as affected)

#hm i should make an original post tag #obimaul #like. say what you want but obi-wan saw a random dathomirian zabrak and immediately went 'maul?? alive??' #he DOES care about maul he just doesn't actively seek him out like maul does #post prompted by this song that makes me think about Maul in his crime lord era‚ all the luxury of the world within his reach‚ #but none of it satisfies him because what he really wants is to find (and kill) kenobi #'another night up in the best suite; everything's gone wrong already‚ my body admits; dreaming so high the floor is the limit; #once again i got lost.. [...] another night i give myself‚ top of a skyscraper; i'm the king of the world‚ dreams for rent; #and when i look at myself i sigh with a low voice‚ 'i don't feel bad i just feel nothing'' #(<- song is são paulo‚ 2015 by jão) #it's a song about feeling dissatisfied with the life of fame because there's an emptiness he can't fill with sex drugs or luxuries #and from the context of the album it's likely he's thinking about a past lover he's still not over #so. imagine with me. #i might make something out of this. maybe. #but like. posting about songs that make me think obimaul thoughts. not very productive. almost no audience. #... and while making this post i've been attacked by yet another song with a very obimaul words #'lie to me‚ run from me‚ we swear it doesn't count‚ in this way of ours‚ but it's not because i hate you that i can't kiss you anymore' #<- pilantra by jão and anitta

[mrscakeishere]

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beta reviews!

"Oddly sexy!" "Found this weirdly heartwarming!" "Don't sully that monkey!"

Polychrome (@polychromicron-persei-8) and I are kicking off the Polycakes Rotary International Collaborative Korporation (PRICK) (aka our smut and other goofy collabs) with an Ode to Eclairs (Rated Explicit, 3104 words).

It's our happy NYE weekend gift to you all and our precursor to the @goodomensafterdark smut war coming up January 8th.

Summary and excerpt below! CW: NSFW

An Ode to Eclairs

When Aziraphale and Crowley’s love life gets a little stale, they decide to spice things up with a sexy phone call. Turns out, communication isn’t their strong suit.

Crowley sat next to his phone and thought about Shakespeare. He and the great playwright had been wrong in 1601. While age may not wither Aziraphale, the custom of once-a-week-vanilla-sex-Wednesdays had indeed begun to stale and an infinite variety of intimacy was much needed. He had brought this up to Aziraphale—although not in such eloquent words[1]—and they had agreed to investigate their options and try something new. 

Aziraphale had done all the research, as usual, and after discovering a broad array of kinks and other intimate hijinks, had settled on phone sex. For one thing, it was cheap; there weren't any props to buy, equipment to assemble, or web cameras to set up (or computers to learn for that matter). For another thing, Aziraphale and Crowley had both agreed that it sounded like the simplest activity to try. All it required was talking about sex. No awkward attempts at unusual positions or knowledge about how to appropriately tie a knot. 

What they probably should have considered, however, was that talking—and conversation in general—was not their strong point as a couple. But Crowley wasn’t thinking about that at the moment. He was thinking about what his first words should be, and they had to be good.

[1] In actuality, following several misguided attempts at subtlety, Crowley had simply stated the obvious: “I think we need to have better sex.”

Read on at AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52581016

#phone sex gone wrong #A LOT of innuendos #polycakes #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #goodomensafterdark #goad #good omens fanfic #good omens fanfiction #good omens #ao3 fanfic #fanfiction #fanfic

[butchthirteen]

by the way i've been going through rtd's non-doctor-who work and the first thing i watched was queer as folk and i have to say. there's a lot going on in that show but my main takeaway is "it's extremely obvious that the guy writing this really wants to write doctor who." there are ten episodes and of those i believe seven mention doctor who in some capacity. the theme starts playing in the middle of gay sex. k-9 is there. the character responsible for most of these references breaks up with his boyfriend because the boyfriend can't name all the doctors. at the end he has a couple lines where i was like "wow this sounds like something the doctor would say" and then the next lines out of his mouth were about doctor who. all of this is retroactively much funnier now that rtd kickstarted a 20+-year-long reboot for the show

#doctor who #like the show itself is not all that similar to doctor who beyond like. rtd having a pretty clear voice as a writer #like the characters aren't similar the plots aren't similar it's a totally different genre #and like. ostensibly doctor who comes up so much because one particular character is a fan #but like. you can *tell* that it's coming from a place of appreciation and knowledge on the writer's part #i don't know. if i'd been an adult in 2004 and i'd seen queer as folk and then heard that that guy was going to be writing doctor who. #well i simply would not have been surprised. #i would've been like. yeah good for that guy. proud of him. #(i also found an interview with rtd from like. 2000. where he was like 'yeah i was going to do doctor who but then someone new came in so #that's probably not happening anymore :/' and again. very funny to read in retrospect) #anyway. the funniest reference was the theme playing mid-gay-sex because for half a second i thought i was watching the wrong show #and it had gone to the opening credits #also i need to find out if they used the original k-9 prop because i think that would be EXTREMELY funny

[chronicowboy]

buddie is literally so gay in every way in mixed feelings. its like: we're going to get dressed up to cheat at poker and i'm going to spend the whole time watching you like i can't decide between dropping to one knee to propose or dropping to both knees and sucking your new math skills out of your dick. but then its also like: when we reap the rewards of our scam we'll use the winnings to feed the child we're raising together and split the domestic tasks, you'll bake his class cookies right? and then you have: straight man shoved a vibrator up his wife's urethra can you fucking believe this shit?

#sami rambles #why did they send the 3 queerest firefighters alone to deal with straight sex gone wrong? that just seems unfair #let the straight people deal with the crazy straight people #911 spoilers #911 fox #911 show #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #buddie

[ladykissingfish]

*at an Inn*

Itachi: Look, I’m tired, you’re tired … both of us are in need of a good night’s rest, right?

Shisui: Right …

Itachi: Right. And there’s just the one bed. So there’s only one way that both of us can ensure a peaceful night.

Shisui: Are … are you sure about this —?

Itachi: I am. I think it’s the best decision we could make together.

Shisui: Well, alright; if you’re comfortable with it then so am I …

Itachi: Good. *takes Shisui’s hands in his, holding them gently* I’ll admit this is a first for me, and I’m a little nervous, but … there’s nothing we can’t face, so long as we face it, together.

Shisui: *kisses Itachi’s knuckles* I agree. Alright; I’m ready. Let’s do this.

Itachi: *walks out the door and walks back in leading Madara by the arm*

Itachi: Here you go, Madara-sama! A nice comfy bed just for you!

Madara, grumbling: It better be for me, you little brats. I’m an old man, I need my rest. But first … which one of you is giving me my bath?

Itachi and Shisui: 

Shisui: W-when the clan gave us this mission to escort Madara back to Konoha, n-nobody mentioned we’d have to bathe him! But it’s okay because it’s just one more thing we’ll face together, right, Itachi?

Itachi: *already halfway out the window*

@shisui-bingo

#shiita #shisui x itachi #shisui uchiha #itachi uchiha #madara uchiha #One Bed and Mission Gone Wrong #one bed trope #good old cock block grampa Madara huh?! #Madara: I haven’t had sex in 40 years therefore everyone else must suffer with me #ShisuiBingo2023

[charliemwrites]

That @lilynotdilly ask made me think... Imagine Simon does give Kyle the green light to fullfil feral's spicy time requirements......

I don't think he does it enthusiasticly tbh, I think he mostly does it as an act of good faith -to show the both of you that he trusts you with the other- but then it's funny because literally none of you like the idea of this happening.

Simon would rather keep you to himself, is only allowing it to show you how good of a carer he is since he trusts you not to betray him with his friend AND priorizes your needs over his feelings; also he's doing it to show Kyle he's secure enough not to be jealous (he is tho) and that he trust him with his beloved, trust he won't surpass any limits Simon set for him. You don't wanna fuck Kyle, he's your friend. You always try to ignore the power imbalance between you and the boys for your own peace of mind, but it's honestly so much safer for you if Kyle is not attracted to you, if he doesn't have any incentive to force your limits -which you know you wouldn't be able to prevent if he decided that's what he wanted-. And poor sweet Kyle had been trying his very very hardest to treat you like an equal and make you feel safe and normal he does not feel comfortable or ok with being presented with the option of fucking you, feels wayyyy too much like being offered to fuck an intern.

It'd be kinda dark and fucked up and complicated, but it also I think objectively it would be hilarious to have Simon present the idea nonchalantly and kinda awkwardly, like a dad who had to give the bees and birds talk against his will and is trying to make light of the situation, while both you and Kyle feel your soul drop to your feet and your blood run cold at the remainder that ah, yes. This right here is actually a kidnapping situation. That right there is a kidnapper.

Hi!!!! That’s a really cool Thought(tm) and is absolutely rich for angst and comfort. If Simon was the main driver of the sex in his and Ferals… situation, I think that would absolutely happen 100% and in that way. But generally in this au, feral asks for things - including playtime with others and Simon makes it happen for her. So he would only agree to Gaz if she wanted him, and doesn’t have that relationship with Gaz.

#asks #I’m not trying to be mean to be clear! #that was a brilliantly written idea and I liked it #absolutely one of the Thoughts #it just isn’t how those to approach sex because one wrong move and all Simon’s progress with her is GONE

[tragedyandterror]

😏

slightly nsfw alt as well bc well. why not

#my art #i suppose this is technically #modern au #i think hed get his scars in a similar way to regular canon..sex game gone horribly wrong lol #this was absolutely partially inspired by malicious' tags from the other day abt bjr wrapping around jamie like a leech! #correct as always+such a fun concept to think abt #bjr wants to wrap himself around jamie the way a car wraps around a tree in a highspeed collision #<-guy tht has been reading crash+feeling normal abt it #using the community tags so hopefully tumblr wont flag me😭

[bunnyb34r]

Trying to undo the damage of Facebook w/o risking your relationship with a loved one is like defusing a fucking bomb sometimes I stg

#marquilla #i had a whole thing typed out ab this but ugh #im trying to explain to my mom that no they are not fighting to let children have sex changes. the only sex change sugery they preform on #minors are the fucked up shit they do to intersex kids at birth #that hormone therapy would be the only 'trans treatment' a minor could get and no it will not be w/o parental consent. and that hrt is #reversible. #id love to try to deradicalize the rest of my family but im sorry those motherfuckers are too far gone for me to try and keep my own sanity #like 1 went from far right to libertarian which isnt much better but it's something but im still leery of him ngl #and tra/dwife cousin's husband is full blown far right and i know it's wrong but i dont care enough ab them to want to try #ahdhdgdg i know it's bad but like they can all go to hell idc #and then theres the cousin i dont talk to who is a bible thumping freak who told his sister at her fucking lesbian wedding something #something god doesn't approve or something like that like 😬 #and hes in a cult of some kind im sure but i didnt dig deep enough to find out if it's just WS flavored or full on WS shit #but theyre dead to me. i only have my lesbian cousin w/that last name sorry i dont have any [name]s in my family besides her #wouldnt put it past tra/dwife cousin's sister to be in some cult or cult adjacent beliefs honestly #i know shes being abused in some capacity and that her husband is a fucking asshole but shes a bitch so i dont talk to her at all anyway #(not that her being a bitch makes her deserving of that. those statements are two sep things. i feel bad shes being abused. AND separately #shes a bitch and her being a bitch is why i dont talk to her) #ANYWAY I Have a headache so im gonna wash the gunk off and hope i feel better

[coochiequeens]

Finland’s Center for Legal Protection of Health Care also stated that Penttilä should be classified as an extreme danger to others, and the Appellate Court intervened and extended his prison term by one additional year.“ The original sentence was only 9 and a half years and that was the THIRD woman he strangled to death.

A Finnish serial killer who targeted young girls and women has been categorized as a “female” criminal by Wikipedia, prompting criticism on social media. Michael Maria Penttilä, 57, has been described by national media as the “only Finn to meet the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s (FBI) definition of a serial killer,” having sexually abused and strangled multiple female victims to death, including children. Penttilä was born Jukka Torsten Lindholm, but is also known as Michael Pentholm.

Penttilä has a lengthy criminal record, which was recently highlighted in response to the revelation that he is classified as a “female” by Wikipedia. Many women expressed their outrage using the hashtag “notourcrimes,” which indicates opposition to male violence being recorded in statistics as having been committed by a woman.

Even as an adolescent, Penttilä committed sexually motivated and violent crimes. In 1981, at the age of 16, he abducted a teen girl, locked her in a basement, and beat her. Penttilä choked the girl with scarves and threatened to rape her, but she was able to flee. As punishment for the sadistic offense and a series of petty thefts, Penttilä was held at the Kerava Youth Facility in 1984 for one year.

Penttilä’s first known murder victim was of his own mother, Laina Lahja Orvokki Lindholm, whom he strangled on August 26, 1985, just after his release from the youth detention center. However, the crime was initially considered accidental by authorities, and the verdict in Penttilä’s case was ultimately decided to be wrongful death.

The next year, Penttilä met two 12 year-old girls and convinced them to accompany him to his apartment by promising to give them money to buy alcohol. He then locked one of the victims in the bathroom before using a belt to fatally strangle the other girl. Penttilä proceeded to rape the surviving girl, who was eventually able to escape after neighbors overheard her screams for help and contacted law enforcement.

It was only upon his arrest for the rape and murder of the young girls that the truth about Laina Lindholm’s death was revealed. During interrogations, Penttilä described to police how he had waited for his mother to fall asleep before donning her blue leather gloves and one of her scarves and choking her to death. He told authorities he killed his mother because she had begun dating another man since divorcing his father, and because he blamed her for not attempting to secure an early release for him from the youth facility.

In March of 1987, the Oulu District Court ruled that Penttilä was guilty of the murders of his mother and the child, and sentenced him to 9 years and seven months’ imprisonment. Despite this, the Rovaniemi Appellate Court intervened and held that Laina Lindholm’s death was not a murder, but instead a lesser crime of negligent homicide, and reduced his sentence to seven years.

Disturbingly, Penttilä confessed that he visited his mother’s grave after the killing.

Just one year after Penttilä was granted parole in May of 1992, he again choked a woman to death in his apartment in Kempele. The victim was a 42 year-old woman identified in press as Arja, and Penttilä admitted to causing her death, but claimed the murder was accidental and a result of engaging in the sadomasochistic sexual practice of erotic asphyxiation. 

Months later and while in prison, Penttilä told law enforcement his chilling motive behind the slaying. He said that he had confessed to having a “sexual abnormality” to Arja. Before her death, he told Arja that he was only capable of sadomasochistic sex, which included bondage, whipping and strangulation.

The Oulu District Court sentenced Penttilä to 9 and a half years, and a psychiatric evaluation was conducted. The examination concluded that Lindholm was sane and aware of his actions, and was therefore guilty. Finnish media reported that “[Penttilä’s] sexual inclination towards S/M sex and desire for strangulation did not show up in the examination because he focused on being as normal as possible.”

Finland’s Center for Legal Protection of Health Care also stated that Penttilä should be classified as an extreme danger to others, and the Appellate Court intervened and extended his prison term by one additional year.

In 2000, while incarcerated in Hämeenlinna Central Prison which houses both male and female inmates in separate wards, Penttilä began to wear make-up and dress in women’s clothes. According to psychiatric reports, Penttilä had a preoccupation with a hyper-masculine and violent male ideal, despite his fetishistic crossdressing tendencies. 

However, the prison’s director soon forbade him from wearing make-up and dresses, citing concerns about security. Penttilä then filed a formal complaint to Parliament’s ombudsman and attempted to argue that he was being discriminated against because female inmates were permitted to wear “men’s clothes.”

While in Hämeenlinna, Penttilä was granted permission to marry a woman named Hannele Pentholm, who was convicted of killing her husband and serving a life sentence. The two were married a short time, only two years, and after their divorce Penttilä adopted the name Michael Maria Penttilä and began claiming to be a lesbianwoman.

After he was released on parole in November 2008, Penttilä again attacked three more women on separate occasions. In May of 2009, he attempted to strangle a healthcare worker who he had called to his home to perform chiropractic services. The woman was eventually able to escape after calming Penttilä down and convincing him to release her.

He continued his violent pattern twice more: first strangling a female housecleaner he had hired to tidy his apartment, and the second just three weeks afterwards.

On June 11 of 2010, the Oulu District Court sentenced Penttilä to six years for three aggravated assaults and attempted aggravated assault, as well as aggravated rape and deprivation of liberty. The next year, the Rovaniemi Appellate Court once again interfered with the ruling and reduced Penttilä’s sentence to just four years and five months. The final verdict was upheld in October of 2012.

Penttilä was released in December of 2016, and just two years later, he murdered a prostituted woman by strangling her with stockings in his Helsinki apartment. Additionally, he had been found to have planned to murder a 17 year-old girl in 2017.

He is now serving a life sentence for the brutal slaying. 

During deliberations to determine whether Penttilä should be charged with homicide or the lesser crime of manslaughter, the court heard how he had spent hours of each day viewing pornography depicting asphyxiationleading up to the murders he had committed.

Psychologist Jan-Henry Stenberg told the Helsinki Court of Appeal that Penttilä’s pornography consumption illustrated the premeditated nature of his crime and highlighted the tendency for pornography use to escalate towards more extreme content. It was revealed that Penttilä had mimicked the actions of one of the men in a pornographic video he had watched.

Despite repeatedly targeting women and girls for sexually motivated violence, Penttilä is now listed as a “female serial killer” on Wikipedia, where editors have argued amongst themselves over this classification in the site’s open-access backend.

The page was initially created in 2018 under Penttilä’s birth name, Jukka Lindholm. 

Few changes were made until last month when, on April 5, a trans activist Wiki editor known as Maddy from Celeste updated the serial killer’s name to Michael Maria Penttilä and cited “deadnaming” as the reason.

Editor Maddy from Celeste, a pseudonym which is a nod to a video game character and its developer, is credited with having created the page “Transgender history in Finland,” and identifies as queer, trans, and non-binary.

“A serial murderer has zero rights – stop with the pathetic gender crap, HE is not a she,” reads one comment on the article’s edit page.

Other comments can be seen in the edit history and depict a back-and-forth exchange over “misgendering”, with one anonymous editor stating, “This person was born a male. Humans cannot change sex.”

In July of 2019, the category labeled “transgender serial killers” was deleted by Wikipedia editors. However, a category does exist for “female serial killers,” and Penttilä is one of two entries in the section regarding Finnish criminals.

Penttilä’s sadistic killing spree resembles the criminal behavior of American serial killer Harvey Marcelin. Marcelin, who identifies as transgender and uses the name Marceline Harvey, murdered three women and dismembered two of his victims’ bodies. Marcelin similarly targeted women trafficked in the sex industry, and is currently being held in the women’s ward at Rikers Island in New York. 

Like with Penttilä’s entry, a dispute between various Wikipedia contributors broke out over Harvey’s pronounsin 2022.

By Genevieve Gluck

Genevieve is the Co-Founder of Reduxx, and the outlet's Chief Investigative Journalist with a focused interest in pornography, sexual predators, and fetish subcultures. She is the creator of the podcast Women's Voices, which features news commentary and interviews regarding women's rights.

#Finland #wikipedia #Michael Maria Penttilä Is Jukka Torsten Lindholm a man #NotOurCrimes #He was sent Kerava Youth Facility for only A YEAR for abutting beating and choking a teen girl #Rest In Peace Laina Lahja Orvokki Lindholm #Another TIM with a history of violence against women and his own mother #Rest In Peace 12 year old girl murdered by this freak #Oulu District Court #How is choking you mother to death negligent homicide and not murder? #Another man claiming a woman being choked to death was a sex act gone wrong #Rest In Peace Arja #Transbian #he had spent hours of each day viewing pornography depicting asphyxiation

[theflirtmeister]

please tell me about "weird fic" i am intrigued 👀

the fact that EVERYONE always wants to know what weird fic is and I'm always so ashamed <3

At least teenage Mark had cried to Angie, let her wash him in the bathroom tub, sobbed when she’d gently cleaned up the blood with her flannel. Adult Mark has nobody. He’ll be clearing up his own blood again, alone.

#ANSWERED #sex pollen gone wrong fic <3

[grahamdollton]

#my peculiar wife #i'm not rewatching speaking of sex atm i just found this in the vaults (my screenshot folder) #then again i might rewatch it today because i feel like shit and seeing him in such a..... state..... might improve matters #at least yesterday wasn't a total bust #and by that i mean i actually had a decent day yesterday which i haven't been able to say in ages #i left my cave and went to an estate sale where an incredibly attractive middle aged gentleman with silver hair let me have #these two big wooden roll top boxes full of cassettes (many of which are sealed blanks!) for five bucks..... #i haven't gone through them thoroughly yet but it looks like there's a lot of early appalachian gospel #can't go wrong there......... #the man kept calling me sir #sometimes it baffles me that i “”“pass”“” these days because my hair is so damn long and i keep my face clean shaven #so that's nice #with how depressed i've been sometimes i hate to acknowledge when i have a decent day or even a decent moment #because i almost superstitiously feel it will act as a magnet for my depression to swoop in and feed on it #and out of that fear my depression has developed this sort of..... personified stubbornness #where i both consciously and unconsciously avoid what might allow for an opening for “decent moments”.. pleasure.. joy.. whatever might #might grant me relief from pain even just for a moment etc #i don't know what i'm trying to describe here all i know is i feel trying to announce or acknowledge any sort of happiness i experience #feels like i'm directly endangering it #my brain is too scattered right now to try to articulate anything and i don't know why i'm doing so in the tags of a photo of #my peculiar wife james spader #just trying to exist again and not let myself be a hermit to the extent of harold smith which is very much the path i've been on for a long #long time #and i'm chipping away at that nonexistence in strange ways but chipping away nonetheless.......

[debtsunpaid]

what's really interesting to me is that in some ways, the demon constantine is the more emotionally intelligent of the two? motherfucker had time to think about life and humanity and himself in hell, freed from all inhibitions; it's a maverick entity, being a golem, so he had no duties, no hang-ups, no problems to solve. it had all the space and time that john never did to contemplate and explore his own identity, and i think it found a lot about itself and the ways it differs fundamentally from his creator. the ways he wants to further separate himself from its creator.

like yes, he wants to steal john's place on earth and usurp his life, but because it thinks it could do his life better than he ever could, not because it envies him. he's like the hell version of the golden boy: believing itself to be a well of untapped potential that's actually been cultivated, studied, and culled into something better-defined than john's ever done for himself.

#OOC. #idk i love the idea that even the worst parts of constantine are capable of becoming fully realized / fully rounded out given time #demon constantine has a better concept of its genderweirdness than john and a much healthier relationship to sex #in fact i think it is comfortably sex-repulsed asexual #don't get me wrong! he's still a raging piece of shit! that part hasn't gone away! #he's just a raging piece of shit that understands itself and what he wants in its life better than john ever could #Does this make sense. i am very tired and i am rotating him in my mind #CONSTANTWO HC. ( i'll add some scars to the ones you already made. )