I rewatched The Lost Boys today and felt inspired
CACKLING OH MY GOD i love this so much i love your brain and how it works this is actually incredible
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The Lost Boys (S2: E10)
The really heartbreaking element is that Ford comes facec to face with the reality that he's no longer part of Sheppard's team. That the part of Sheppard that willingly lays down his life for a friend no longer applies to him. Sheppard's courage and fierceness are now aimed at him not guarding his back. I was so sure the first time that Ford would ultimately come back and get redeem, but real life isn't always that way.
It is a good reminder to be sober and vigilant, tender and gentle.
I love the moment when the Wraith come for Sheppard and Ronon blocks their path, and I love even more that Sheppard steps up so no one else will get hurt.
I love Lorne gently teasing Weir about her being worried about Sheppard and everyone, but then doing everything he could to find them.
The Hive (S2: E11)
My favorite Sheppard character trait is that the more danger he's in, the snarkier he gets.
Rodney: And that's what happens when you back a brilliant scientist into a corner!
Or, in which Rodney proves again that he will go to any length to save his people. 🖤
I love that it's Sheppard who pulls Ford back to the team, trying to help him. I love that two different women call McKay and Sheppard stubborn. Y'all have no idea.
But, after another suicide mission, the moment the gate powers up, I teared up.
Also, Rodney's whole scene on the enzyme is just brilliance.
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Ronon being helpful with the one-handed tip.
The unhelpful version:
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last one for the night because it's late and honestly i'm just nostalgia-bombing for me, but i found the poem. i've been looking for this poem for years. around 5 or 6 or 7 of them, since she stopped talking to me, moved away, and fell off the internet. i had lost the future but i find it difficult to not be able to carry the past, and how often do you get poems written about you?
god 16 was hard. and everything after that too.
since i'm removing it from its original context: some CWs for disordered eating, being 16, references to christianity and the republican-moderate agenda
when jesus ate my house
by [linna], Jul 8, 2008, 3:47:27 PM
1. do you hate me?, she asks.
my legs are in my face, pressed in the
crevice, earth-break, ripping of my nose, hanging
between my eyes like an extra arm, curling
in on itself. i feel sick, dizzy; the world is
a dribbled basketball, a honeyed ham,
an empty soda bottle, a gutter and
a staircase. i could grab her face,
stretch the skin, vomit.
no, i want to say. no, no, no. please,
don't think that. why would you think
that? no. no, no, no. please, no.
never.
i sob and shake. she wracks her
brain for reasons to hate
herself. i can't respond. my mouth
slows and my head fevers, paces.
i shiver. her eyes melt.
i am silent, fitfully,
regrettably.
2. my head is the new
batcave.
he starts up his car; the engine rears.
my stomach roars with fitful delight. my gut
cooks up a tornado against fasting, against
eating, against being awake.
she laughs at my stupid jokes, my
silly words, my bad metaphors. she laughs and
she smirks and she smiles and she grins, and
she laughs, she laughs,
she laughs. it is
enough.
3. at the books-a-million at the local outdoor mall,
we sip drinks and i anxiously count the minutes
to closing time, searching for the words on
the table. it will not hand them over. i look at her,
blank, unsure.
you listen, she says. i'm not leaving.
emily isn't leaving and i am not leaving and
i don't care who left you before, because
i am not going
anywhere.
in the middle of the night she is telling me about
gay men and a fire and her father's coffee
maker, and i am throwing my legs in places i don't
understand and my brain struggles with
the idea of not-sleeping,
while she smiles and begins to dream when
she is still awake, and i know that
she will for long
after.
oh, i want to say. don't you understand?
you're going everywhere.
4. the sky promises thunderstorms. i crack
my fingers and bury my head
between my knees, the
epitome of
safe.
she has been underlining things
with her voice. i italicize,
emphasize. she emboldens,
brightens. i shrink back, slowly,
step by step. she reaches
out.
5. we are laying in my driveway. david jennings
(my arch-nemesis, my rival, my enemy)
rests at my side, crusted in my palm, and
she is absent-mindedly watching the moon
chew.
i am still babbling about my anorexia; it is
the day of my diagnosis. she listens. i
silently ask the stars to let the moment never end;
however,
i am the one who stands up finally and says,
it's getting late. let's go
back.
6. my dad does not understand
why i had to sit in the car to talk to her
on the phone. his eyebrows constrict,
contract, become semicolons and dashes
and questions murdering his forehead.
there is a contortionist
living in my father's brow.
i tell him he does not understand. the
telephone is like a dead rock in my hand, echoing
her words, her sighs, her ums, her giggles.
he shakes his head, mutters something about
teenagers. i recoil.
7. i want to, but
i do not tell her that i
am afraid. i am
strong, like milked bones and
tightened rope and prisoner biceps.
i am indestructible, i am clean, i am
fortified, i am unbreakable.
i am too much.
8. she makes me try on nicknames. they fit like
worn jeans, ballet slippers, ugly bathing suits.
lee is the first one she tries. i unsuccessfully
try to convince her that leeann is a name
on its own, that doesn't need to be shortened,
altered, modified, bloodied, pulped.
lunch comes next. i give her mine with a reassuring
glance and she smiles, sad, and works her
way through it, rhythmically. she senses the
awkwardness and drops the name; it sticks about as
well as her trying to shove food down my
throat.
linna, she finally settles on. it comes out of
nowhere: no backup, no story, no
explanation. it is simply there, attached onto my back,
hanging off my nose. she reads it in my eyes.
she does not let it go. and after a while, i don't know
if i want her to.
9. i don't feel real, sometimes.
like my feet are simply
weighted leaves, and my hands are
lightened bricks, and my head
is an empty balloon, about to pop. sometimes
i feel like i am the burden of someone's
imagination, a figment of someone's
unsympathetic hands. a clay figure, a doll, a
wooden statue, a house, a wall, a child,
a corpse.
i hope she feels skin and bones, tissues
and nerves, solidity and liquid, earth and
water and air and form. i hope she
realizes, and i hope she always
remembers.
10. this is a fic in which rodney is a unicorn
and john is a rainbow.
my face is lost to the curve of my elbow. it
is three-thirty a.m. and i cannot breathe. she spoons
her ice cream and smiles, laughing dryly, quietly pleased.
there is nothing more. there
doesn't need to be.
11. only you, she is cracking up, speaking
through the giggles, can listen to this
song while reading romantic fluff.
i grin. oh, be quiet, i say, and go
back to your bdsm and
bloodplay.
with pleasure.
12. she is my first victim.
i am practicing telling people i have a problem. it comes out
hasty, undefined, nervous. oh, i have a disorder. oh, that's just my
anxiety issues. panic attacks? yeah, i get those.
she does not know what to do with this
information. i can tell. she has her legs bunched
up underneath her, crouching to look at me
not-eating lunch on the cafeteria floor,
burrowed in the corner.
what are you doing here?, she says, instead.
she does not know what to do, so
she smiles.
i open my mouth. i think i like her
already.
13. i'll walk with you, she says.
i stare.
my voice cracks when i attempt to speak.
really?
yeah, really, she says, laughs.
why not?
14. there is a voice in the back of my
head that tells me to listen to her when she
talks about god, jesus, church. about
belief. there is a voice in the back of my head
that says to listen to her conservative views,
her republican-moderate agenda. there is
a voice in the back of my head that says,
shut up, for once, and
listen.
15. in a pool in north carolina in a smelly hotel with a full set of clothes on each,
we talk about our lives. we explain
ourselves, quietly, shyly,
unapologetically.
16. eat, linna, she says.
please.
i don't know how to tell her where i would be
without her. without her telephone calls,
her pokes and her prods, her questions; her asking
of my writing, her encouraging me on, her
awkward silences and comfortable speeches; the way
she sometimes sounds distant on the phone,
the way she inches in closer; her ethical debates, her
historical trivia, her moral inclinations, her
nocturnal sleeping schedules and
her overloaded eating habits, her addictions and her
favorites, her confessions and her not-secrets, her
wish-secrets, her honest-secrets.
no, i say. i'm sorry.
i can't.
i don't know how to tell her where i would be
without her.
i don't know how to explain, to convey,
to write and to picture
nowhere.
if you told me to stop,
i would.
anything.
17. do you hate me?, she pleads,
begs, wonders and
fears.
i am silent.
and i promise myself that i
never will be again,
for her.
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Okay I finally made it to The Lost Boys in my rewatch!
And I'm dissecting Rodney's "I get nervous, I eat" moment.
It's complete headcanon but just roll with me for a second: Rodney suffers from EDNOS.
Comforts himself when anxious/nervous by eating
Eats rapidly, usually in large quantities
Suffers hypoglycemic attacks— likely as result of prolonged fasting and/or binging on high-carb/high-sugar foods
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AU game: TK is an Atlantean who guards the sacred island gateway to the city from the outside world. Carlos is the lone survivor of a shipwreck who washes up on shore. The island is, by nature, pretty much programmed to be hostile to humans, but TK feels compelled to keep him alive.
Okay, so first of all you said Atlantean and my mind immediately went to SGA (TK is Shepherd, Carlos is McKay, Paul is Zelanka, Judd is Teyla, Owen is Weir - this is funny to like five other people here, anyway).
Okay, going back to a more traditional lost city of Atlantis
1 - Carlos is the first human TK has ever met, and he's just so beautiful. He's nothing like the people they've been taught to fear and guard against. He can't see how someone so kind and with a smile like that can be dangerous.
2 - Carlos was sure he was going to die when his boat capsized, sure he'd died when he woke up to the most beautiful man he'd ever seen leaning over him, back lit by the sun. It takes a while for TK to convince him that he's not dead, he's just on an island that everyone says is a myth.
3 - A lot of their early conversations are just listing things they've been taught and finding out if they're true or not.
Do you have gills?
What? No, of course not.
Humans think raw vegetables are poisonous
What? Was the last time you talked to a human in the 16th C?
I mean more like 12th, but kind of.
How has nobody noticed the island? Are we underwater? Does the island sink?
We're not aliens. It's, I don't know, magic? Above my pay grade.
How do you not know this?
Do you know how everything in your world works?
Solid point. Okay.
4 - But then they start to just talk about things - they had different childhoods, their worlds are different, but they're also the same. They talk about wanting to fall in love, about loving their parents, about feeling like they're never going to be enough. It turns out they have more in common than they have that's different.
5 - They were always going to get found out, it was never going to last. The Council of Atlantis gives Carlos a choice - stay there forever, give up his life before, or leave but with none of the memories he's made while he's here. He wants to stay, but TK makes him go, tells him that he can't give up his family and his life just for TK. Carlos wants to say that surely it's his choice to make, but TK turns his back and doesn't give Carlos the choice.
+ 1 - Six months later there's a beautiful boy who washes up on the shores of the beach where Carlos lives. He doesn't understand why he lives there so far from his family, why he's so drawn to this shore, but he can't bring himself to leave. He follows the boy to the hospital when they take him there, and he sits in his room, even though he's not sure why. And then he wakes up, and then he kisses Carlos, and Carlos remembers.
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Thank you @ctrsara for the tag! I'm pretty sure I've done this one before but why not! \o/
How many works do you have on AO3?
96! But I have a lot of stuff on LJ that I never moved over to A03 and I recently discovered I put up a few fics on FF.net that I never moved over either, haha.
What’s your total AO3 word count?
1,249,703!
What fandoms do you write for?
In my fanfic career, I have written: Marvel Comics, X-Men, Harry Potter, Doctor Who, Supernatural, Torchwood, Stargate Atlantis, Marvel (Irondad), Heartstopper and a few misc ones in other fandoms.
I recently found a Boy Meets World fic I wrote like 15 years ago, so that's fun. Have no memory of writing it!
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + One Time He Shows Up Anyway
Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited
The Hero of Our Own Story
There Is Always One Last Light To Turn Out
For We Are Bound by Symmetry
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, all of them! It's usually just a thank you <3 but I will talk to people if they talk back.
What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Hm, I think it's If You Find That You Feel Lost, I'll Be Your Ticket Back.
What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
lol, I mean, all of them end pretty hopeful, yeah? That's the best I can do.
Do you get hate on fics?
On a few of them, yeah. People can think what they want, I know sometimes I walk a thin line when it comes to the "happy" bits or I sometimes make characters a little more unlikeable (I mean I consider it more realistic) but I sometimes get push back on it. Usually it's when I'm doing Irondad and they are like aren't father/son within seconds of seeing each other, lol. Opps, sorry I like realism in my superhero fics!
On Edge of Your Name, some people found Charlie unrealistic but I didn't think so at all.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes! Slash mostly but I've done het and femslash in the past.
Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
Not really! Maybe one day I'll consider it
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
A looooooooong time ago, someone poached a SGA fic I wrote and posted in, get this, in an LJ community I posted it in originally, lol.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
YES! Oh my god I was so excited, two fics of mine are in RUSSIAN. HOW COOL?
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Yes! Me and @royalhearthuff did a chapter in their, Through The Years Narlie fic and me and @brbrbeatrice are hovering around a Narlie colab right now too. <333333
I'm also open to collabs!
What’s your all time favorite ship?
Ugh, so hard to answer this because I have so, so many OTPs, lol. I mean McShep is always at the top of my heart, but Narlie since it's fucking canon and oh yeah Ineffable Husbands will never not make my 12 year old heart beat faster.
What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Hm, there are a few. I've got an Irondad that's a Tony presumed dead that I'd like to get finished but it's so hard to keep Tony Stark presumed dead and not escape wherever he's at.
I've got a Charlie at uni fic that I really want to eventually finish but I lose steam on it everytime I try!
What are your writing strengths?
I think I can do dialogue pretty well at this point, I think I've mastered the flow of it.
What are your writing weaknesses?
Everything else? Ha.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don't, lmao. I mean, I have but it's only small things that I can google.
First fandom you wrote for?
I think it was honestly something like Rainbow Brite or X-Men comics, to be honest. I also may have written self insert Power Ranger fics and Inspector Gadget lol oh and Captain Planet.
Don't judge me lol I was writing fic before I really understood what I was writing. I just liked adding myself into adventures with my favorite characters!
Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
I dunno, it's so hard to pick sometimes. I really love my SGA Disaster It Strikes On a Daily Bases, for Irondad it's always Just An Intern and I think I'm obsessed with my Narlie, And You Know For Me It's Always You.
And I tag whomever wants to do this because tagging people gives me anxiety.
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it could’ve started like this: a mcshep get-together per episode
s2e10: The Lost Boys | mood swings, t, (5min 35s)
A quick scan of the area reveals that Jace and Ford’s more scientifically minded henchmen are all over the dart, but that McKay’s not there. For a moment, panic sets deep into John’s skin, his hair on-end and his heart pounding—but then he sees him. McKay’s sitting in the shade of a tree in the distance, his head between his knees and John barely registers the fact that just the sight of McKay has the tension bleeding out of him.
read it on ao3 | listen on ao3 | full series on Tumblr
fic and art by @dedkake. Podlet recorded for the SGA fanart only server second birthday bash
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Tagged by @sga-owns-my-soul
Get to know me!
Relationship status: single. Dudes interested in me but its not mutual sorry boys
Favourite colour: purple!
Favourite food: idk man. Uh. Breakfast foods. Almost all of them
Song stuck in my head: idk the song in my head rn it's a random one from the work radio (i think it's one of the latest miley cyrus ones?) . Last one I remember I can identify is timeless by we three (stick go listen)
Last thing I googled: the blue Jays, apparently. Probably yesterday
Time: 10:09pm (22:09)
Dream trip: I ask for nothing more than getting to Newfoundland. Though more would be wonderful
Last thing you read: I'm still working at @dedkake it couldve started when series. Love it love it I'm just a slow reader (but tbh finding it kickstarted my mcshep kick)
Last book you enjoyed: I have not read actual books in forever. Consider this another plug for the road by cormac McCarthy
Favourite thing to cook/bake: I love doing banana muffins/bread, quick and easy. Shortbread cookies if I'm feeling adventurous (rare). To hell with actual cooking cooking sucks
Favourite craft to do in your free time: I do love to write. Actual crafts? Those diamond painting things are fun
Most niche dislike: negative sports fans. Jaysblr you do not count. It's the people that constantly talk shit about every individual of their supposed team they cheer for that piss me off (work this summer has granted me this new displeasure)
Opinion on circuses: I feel like I don't know enough to form an opinion tbh
Do you have a sense of direction: lolll NOPE. A couple weeks back I almost got lost in a town I spent two summers walking through
Tagging @emptyflowerpots @lifeofpriya @gas0line-f0rest @gatefiles @malcolm-reeds-pineapple and @wastedonthesebutterflies
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Multifandom fic recs!
I mentioned doing a fic recs list the other day, and since I couldn't work on my needlepoint for a while (in which I feel like Mr. Thorton's mother doing her linen embroidering in North & South), I actually did one.
This is a multifandom recs list because it was more fun to just skim through various fandom bookmarks than to do a concentrated list for one show or whatever. Also.. some of these are for fandoms I read in and some are just fics I stumbled across one day, so they could be representative of their fandoms or not I have no idea. {insert shrug emoji here}
These are also all m/m and I think.... fairly cis? I did consider doing some f/f and trans and Rules 63 stuff but uh my bookmarks are a mess. The only fandom where I set aside some genderfuckery aside in any sort of organized fashion is Les Mis with Rule 63 stuff which maybe should get its own post. ? If people wanted?
Anyway, read the tags for each story, etc
Recs across the starboard bow, captain!
Star Wars Rogue One
waaay before the movie. I've recced this before. Chirrut/Baze
A Monk in Good Standing (Must Be in Need of a Bro)
The Eagle
Marcus/Esca
What Big Hands You Have
modern au, Esca is a size queen
From the Depths of His Heart
Canon-era werewolf AU
Póga
Canon-era Esca teaches Marcus to kiss slow
Devotee
Canon-era gay farmers with some yearning
The Losers
Jensen/Cougar
The First Eight Don't Count
Jensen is a cat sometimes. Like a house cat. Yeah it’s weird for him too.
By Daybreak We'll Be Gone
werewolf AU (sensing a recurring trope here lol)
Inception
(Obv Arthur/Eames.)
Breaking and Entering
Jeeves and Wooster
Misplaced
Bertie has lost something
Voltron (the… whatever the new cartoon’s subtitle was. Legendary Defender?)
(I know that fandom is a hotbed of strife) but I am not/was not involved in any of that. Yikes.)
the electric synthesized pop ballad of why keith can’t have nice things
a/b/o au... but like... he just wants to be good
The Vorkosigan Saga
This is Ivan/Byerly because that is the only ship that matters
Twenty-Year Man
Ivan's getting older and having some realizations despite himself. Also... side note but... carefully and cynically yearning Byerly is a delight.
Original, historical
Darling and the Cinderella Club
Teen Wolf --HOWEVER! These are all Teen Wolf/SGA fusion
Why? Because the space marine vibes are impeccable
All Sterek
Show You What All That Howl is For
The Ring of the Ancestors is Not a Euphemism
Faint is a Medical Term
What We Do in the Shadows
Something Here Will Eventually Have to Explode
Guillermo/Nandor
Venom
Venom/Eddie, obviously
Heartthrob
Good Omens
Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy
Get Religion Quick (cause you're looking divine)
The Hobbit
all Bilbo/Thorin
Rations
pre-adventure sexual tension
The Subways of Men
modern au, but still with hobbits and dwarves
okay and then because idk I just love them finding each other after things
Plant Your Trees
It's Been a Long Day Without You, My Friend
(slight au)
And then one just to be sad
Hold Onto Hope If You've Got It
Les Mis
Enjolras/Grantaire because I am basic aw yeah
The Laurels of Doing is Enough
modern AU
True Love's Kiss
modern AU but with magic
Adequate
The first in a small Star Trek AU series that is cute
A Reversal of Celestial Mechanics
Canon-era, Enjolras takes Grantaire up on his offers… offers Grantaire didn’t realize he was making lol
There is one where Grantaire is fucking Courf while they both discuss/hint at his feelings for Enjolras but I cannot begin to express the chaos of my bookmarks so.... couldn't find it.
And finally...
Check, Please
Dex/Nursey
Bless This Mess and Call It a Home
Magic AU
The Most Room in Our Hearts
Dex sees Nursey holding some kids and gets Feelings about it
(there is a small nurseydex commentfic with sort of a similar bent but like so many things, it was posted to tumblr then deleted so is now lost forever.)
ok this one is uhhh read the notes and tags. It is known to me and @vashti-lives as the one we don’t talk about aka the 1950s coal miners AU
Strange Lovers
And to finish up, a Ransom/Holster kink/getting together fic that was actually the first thing I read for this fandom.
When You Got Skin in the Game (you stay in the game)
I will post this to pillowfort too but I need to stop and eat first.
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words for the wips (you can pick any wip to share): fire, yours, kitchen, and/or suit
I don't have fire in any of my WIPs right now, but I checked fiery and got this from my noir SGA fic:
“This is Carter and McKay Investigations, right?” The woman was gorgeous, even with her figure mostly hidden by a trenchcoat. The defiant cant of her chin was in stark contrast to her uncertain tone, and Rodney tried to shake off the distraction of her red, red lips and fiery curls.
Apparently, the only times I've written "yours" is as part of already posted fics. So here's a "your" from Hoping that you're happy now:
Erin is a ragdoll in her arms by the time Peg walks over to BJ and Hawkeye. "BJ? I think it's time your daughter and I said goodnight."
Half out of his chair, BJ asks, "Do you need help putting her to bed?"
She waves him off, "No, she's out. I think I can handle her by myself tonight. You should stay up talking. Although," Peg turns to Hawkeye as if she's just had a brilliant idea. "Hawkeye, would you be a dear and let BJ stay with you tonight? He'll wake up Erin if he comes in late, and I'm afraid she'd never get to sleep again after."
Ooh, kitchen is the in BJ is the worst!
Daniel puts the phone down with a frown. That wasn't Peggy on the phone. And he knows BJ hasn't responded to anything Hawkeye's written in the years since the war. He can't help the worry that seeps into his voice as he yells from the office, "Hawkeye! Phone for you."
The sound of his son practically falling down the stairs follows, and he shakes his head. That boy has an unhealthy relationship with gravity.
"I've got it in the kitchen. You can hang up now!"
It's like high school all over again. Daniel sighs and goes back to reviewing the appointment book for the day and gets lost in the file of yet another expectant mother who he remembers as a baby in his arms.
This is the only instance of suit I found, from the noir fic again:
Rodney hid his startlement with a disapproving frown. He took quick stock of the man taking cover in the darkened doorway next to Teyla’s. Even with this rain, he wasn’t wearing a hat or jacket, but the shoulders of his suit were only damp, and his shock of messy black hair wasn’t slicked to his forehead as you’d expect. Teyla didn’t allow smoking in her club, which was actually one of the reasons Rodney had started drinking there, even before he’d become friends with the owner. The man must be desperate for a smoke if he was huddling out here.
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