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#sh relapse
edender · 14 hours ago
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TW: SH
Does anyone else get the sudden urge to sh for no reason at all? Like nothing triggering happened, no one hurt your feelings, you just feel like you need to do it?
No? Just me?
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jack-for-now · 4 months ago
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can’t wait for the day i get my own place and can completely spiral into my self-destructive behaviour
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bpdsucks · a month ago
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starryeyedb1tch · 4 months ago
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okay but fresh cuts under red led lights looks almost…beautiful.
this dark liquid dripping down my arm makes it seem like this addiction isn’t “that bad”
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bitchhhwithbpd · 3 months ago
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Not to be dramatic... But I genuinely think I'd die without music
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h4rmc0re · 2 months ago
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tw sh
the masculine urge to completely loose it at school, run through corridors, jump down flights of stairs, run into walls, scream, cry, kick stuff and sh in a stairwell while everyone stares at u in shock
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angelic-b0nezzz · 2 months ago
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I wish my brain would stop being fucking jealous every time I see someone with scars
i know it’s bad but all I can think is, I want to do that
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ratt-png · 4 months ago
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I’m so funny, get it because I’m fruity 🥲
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lilloserhereagain · 3 months ago
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I told her everything
And then when we got home... nothing happened. She didn't even ask to see my [email protected] or cvtts. Nothing.
She pretended like nothing happened.
Then a couple days later, she told me about a book I could read. So I later grabbed it and started reading... it's about how to get rid of demons. x-x
At this point. I. Can't. Believe. Her.
The story is not done yet.
TW TW TW TW--------TW TW TW TW
mention of cvttting, slf hrm behaviors, family problems, abuuse, and a really insane story overall...
So then a couple days later, she asked where the book had gone. lol
At first I was like, is this a joke? But before I get into the really insane thing that happened last night, I'm going to have to explain what happened before that. -oh, and before she told me about the book, she took my pocket knfe (i didn't tell her that I had been using shaver blds)
She asked for the book back and was even kind of upset about it. She hadn't yelled at me since. I kind of considered her a verbal abuuser, but I mean. Sometimes she's so nice. She always says she's sorry. She always goes back to being nice.
So on Saturday (the 12th I think), I told my little sister that I was a cvttter. She took it extremely well, cried a bit, but she was so sweet. I guess since she picks her skin (to a really bad point), she could understand and I really am glad she can get what I'm going through. (not to say that I'm happy that she does that, but u know what i mean).
Then last night, Mom cooked a turkey. XD lol that sounds so weird
And she asked everyone in the fam to come help. I went out of my room and walked over, starting to help take the meat off the huge thing.
Then she said: "Why are you wearing long sleeves? Push your sleeves up!"
And omg I started to hyperventilate.
I gave her a look that no one else could see. Like, why the duck is she asking me to roll up my sleeves? WHAAAAAAAAAAA-
And then she kept asking: "I don't want cat hair in the food. Roll up your sleeves." (In me and my sisters' room, our cat stays because Mom's allergic)
So I left to take off my jacket.
But when I got into the bedroom, I had a full on panic attack. Like, I couldn't exhale, all I could do was breathe in. And I stood there with my jacket off but my long sleeve shirt on, staring at the cat who was trying to sleep on my bed.
Then Mom came in.
"I don't know what you're hiding, but it's got to stop. Get out there and help the rest of the family."
She said a bunch of other stuff about how lazy I was and how terrible I always was, but I don't remember any of it. :\ Ngl, that's ok with me.
So then she left, but I was just standing there in the middle of the room absolutely frozen. Had I imagined telling her? Was it just a dream? Am I losing my mind? I seriously considered all of my options.
I stayed in the bedroom for a long time.
Mom came in again, called me some names and made herself sound like the victim. "...I do so much for you, can't you just be helpful for once? You know I don't like a half-a** job..." Then she left again and kept calling me from the kitchen, but I couldn't move.
I couldn't believe she forgot.
Did I really imagine telling her that i was a cvttter? I told her last Tuesday. I did. Didn't I?
I was there in the restaurant. I told her. I could swear I told her.
But seriously, wth is wrong with me? I'm losing it.
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rozandae · 23 days ago
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my dad is a pedophile ew.
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xxciggarettesandcoffeexx · 24 days ago
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me sitting in my classroom answering questions as if i didnt just hack up my thigh in the bathroom🫡
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jack-for-now · 4 months ago
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I need someone to beat me up, just absolutely batter my body in bruises and cuts, please someone make me feel the pain i deserve
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bpdsucks · a month ago
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stone-limbs · 3 months ago
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The aesthetic of wanting to sh while smoking until you pass out.
~Just lovely isn't it~
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bitchhhwithbpd · a month ago
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I'd rather listen to music and cry than tell a single person what is killing me and I know that is self destructive but it's better than letting someone else destroy me
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h4rmc0re · 2 months ago
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tw sh
smoking and sh > everything
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angelic-b0nezzz · 2 months ago
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That moment when you don’t have any bandages so you duct tape paper towels to your arm
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bleedingheartsforevr · 3 months ago
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TW SH MENTIONED
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ty to the person on the internet who explained how to c*t deeper and not leave cat scratches 🥰 bc i was a dumbass
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pupp3r · 3 months ago
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Tw: implied sh, blood!
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Today's aesthetic is frantically trying to find bandaids while your blood drips on the floor.
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I was cleaning it up and the stench was very strong.
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lilloserhereagain · 4 months ago
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Almost got caught today.
Decided to slf hrm after my shower instead of before, did a few styros on my thighs, ended up not having enough time to wait u til it stopped bleeding, and went out not realizing there was a half inch blotch on my freaking lightest pair of jeans.
We were about to do the dishes when my little sis freaked out and pointed at it asking what's that?!? And so I replied with something I'd heard someone on shtmblr say:
Chocolate.
Wasn't laughing at the time. Actually had a panic attack afterwards once I got alone.
But I'm laughing now!
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