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roselibrary · 1 year

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𝐏𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

The Darkling x OC Brekker/Rietveld (Grisha Character)

Trigger Warnings: none

Summary: the generals night sky was what they called her. She made his world glow and in doing so he promised her anything she wished.

Requests are open!

Kaz Brekker often wondered if his sister missed him. He wondered if she ever reminisced about her time with them before she went away. Before she became Grisha. His memory is faint, but he remembers well enough the bright grin, kind eyes that shone their brightest in the dark, the long dresses she favoured and the tight corsets that he only now understands were used as a means of attracting attention. His sister had adored that. Adored the attention her gift gave her. She shone like the stars she commanded flying fast and free and blinked out of sight in his mind just as they did each night. His sister was a shooting star one that had long since left his atmosphere with no intention of returning.

Kaz Brekker remembered the day they came. The red keftas and the blue all stood fiercely in front of his sister who held her otherworldly glow. Then he came, tall, dark, and fierce; a black kefta that swirled about him just as his shadows did. He brought forth the darkness and Kaz watched as his sister glowed; he watched as the stars filled the man's shadows and encircled them both like they, too, were constellations in the sky. Kaz knew, as he hid behind barrels with his brother, that their lives would never be the same again. His sister had always wanted more and as he saw the adoration, greed and, what he would soon come to understand as, lust take hold of the one they called the Darkling he knew his sister would fly away. She, too, had the same look reflected in her own gaze; two souls connected as one that fateful day on a long-forgotten farm. The darkness embraced the stars and in doing so intertwined two souls who would never be parted.

Kaz remembers the shock in his eyes when the darkness faded, and the sun reigned supreme once more. He saw those in red turn swiftly in his direction taking hold of himself and his brother. He watched as his sister's eyes glimmered with something akin to regret and grief before it was gone replaced with that dazzling glow and ethereal smile as she knelt before Kaz.

“Sweet brother, I must leave now. You understand, don’t you? I have to go and help those who are like me but do not worry I will visit,” poor sweet Kaz could not tell how brittle his saint-like sister's smile truly was, “Jordie will look after you, won't you?” his sister turned her head to his elder brother whom was stock still withholding tears he knew couldn’t fall; lest his younger brother realise the true magnitude of this goodbye. Unable to speak the eldest of the two boys simply nodded his head once and swallowed the lump in his throat. The sister's smile faltered for a moment and a degree of hesitancy took up on her visage - at least it did until the hand of a general grasped her own and the assuredness returned tenfold. Once more turning her gaze to her younger brother she smiled sweetly and embraced him for a final time.

A gentle kiss to his forehead and a whispered promise gone on the wind was the last Kaz Brekker felt of his sister before she was swept away in a swirl of black. Ushered into a carriage and lost in the gaze of a man whose eyes were as dark as the night sky, never to be seen again.

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capinejghafa · 10 months

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anon request | shadow summoners + hand gestures

#sabedit #shadow and bone #shadowandboneedit #shadowandbonecentral #mygifs15 #userbecca #tusermich #userzhr #useremerald #ughmerlin #tusererika #shadow summoner #baghra morozova #the darkling

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myladysprout · 1 year

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💖 baby boy ben 💖

#baby boy #ben barnes #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone bts #shadow and bone behind the scenes #darkling #the darkling #aleksander morozova #shadow summoner #general kirigan #shadow and bone cast #sab #s&b #shadow and bone sho #s&b fandom #s&b show #shadow and bone season 2 #s&b season 2

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theriverdiary · 1 year

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Can they say the same?

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myeur-n · 10 months

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Imagine that the Darkling had just caused the death of his own mother, and he needed to look for you once more

Note:

Purely based on s2 of the Shadow and Bone Netflix series, so some lore might be incorrect

"We've used the last of Baghra's remains for the others," the Darkling's Alkemi informed him, but he remained in his lonely despair in a mind unhinged. He needed a break from all of this planning to expand the Fold and consume the whole of Ravka in his darkness - he needed,

"The Wanderer," he murmured under his breath as his eyes darkened with a new way to beat this grief festering within him.

"Vladim, tell everyone to make use of their new Amplifiers. I'm going to scout ahead for some time," the Darkling pushed himself off his chair and began to march out of his own encampment.

"But General, why can't you just let the others do it for you?" his Alkemi raised a brow.

"That's none of your concern," the Darkling turned back at him, eyes glaring into his very soul while the corners of his camp turned darker. "Do as I say and speak nothing of it?" He ordered again through gritted teeth. The Alkemi pressed his lips hard against each other and nodded.

The Darkling mounted his horse and wasted no time astriding North, knowing what he needed was somewhere in the Fjerdan borders, the last time he had heard of her.

You were knee deep in a river with a ceramic vase in your hand. As you dipped it into the cold yet calm, icy river to collect the cold waters, you carefully walked your way out of river. Looking around your surroundings first to ensure that no one was looking, you slowly heated the vase with your own fire.

"Not very discreet now, aren't we?" A familiar voice suddenly called out from within the darkness of the forest ahead of you.

"Who's there?" You frowned and clenched your fists tight, though you already had an idea whose voice it belonged to.

"Y/n, has it really been that long since we last saw each other?" The Darkling calmly sauntered out of the shadows of the trees, with both his hands clasped behind his back.

"Its you. How long has it been? Half a century, I'd bet," you moved toward him and shoved your vase into his hands.

"Do you not know who I am?" He turned to you with a cold tone, but you've been living in the Fjerdan mountains long enough to know that he was just playing around with you.

"Whatever identity you've taken this time, Aleksander, I don't care. Just don't bother me with your propaganda," and both of you began to walk towards your modest cabin made of wood and steel, blanketed in a thick layer of snow.

"Anyway, what brings you here? This place isn't exactly friendly to Grisha. And I've heard that you're not really popular in Ravka either," you opened the door and led him in first. Just as he was about to sit on your favourite spot and in your living room with his ridiculously massive fur coat, you forced it out of him, which he complied with a light, but bittersweet smile.

The Darkling was usually broody, but you knew that something was genuinely upsetting him.

"How about we sit by the fireplace while I make some tea, then? Just like old times," you offered.

"I'm willing to sit by the fireplace, but I do not wish to drink your horrible tea," he only said as he looked around your plain house. You nodded and went to the kitchen, still within earshot of what your guest would say.

"I didn't imagine that you would live someplace so... small, Little Saint," he remarked on the lack of decorations in your house. "Then again, you're the one who's lesser in ambition between us two,".

"You don't understand, Aleksander. Not everyone lives in your Little Palace, under the riches of the kings that betrayed our own kind," you brought two mugs of hot drinks to the fireplace and settled down slowly next to him, passing one of them to him.

"I told you, I don't want your tea," he groaned.

"Its hot cocoa. And stop complaining like a child," you rolled your eyes.

Cautiously, he accepted it and took a few sips, before he placed it down next to him.

"Y/n, there's something I must tell you," he began.

You didn't answer, but your silence beckoned him to continue talking.

"That is... I wish you could have accepted the title of Saint, y/n. If you had been at the Little Palace with me from the start, you could have kept me in check," he choked out his words.

"I don't think old friends could have changed you. You've turned from the path we used to walk together hundreds of years ago,".

"But with you there, you could have at least - burnt some sense into me, like you've always done," he hissed as his eyes glared into fireplace. "You could have...," he breathed, then your living room began to darken with his shadow.

"Could have what?".

"You could have saved me from killing my own mother," his voice trembled as the confession took place.

"What?" You resigned your comfort in his presence and began to crawl backwards and away from him.

"Its true. I killed my mother-,".

"How could you do that to Baghra?!" You shot upwards, now fully standing and prepared to summon your wildfire to protect yourself.

Had the Darkling came to you to destroy every reminder of his past? Both of you had been comrades since you were children - you were his first friend, follower and soldier. If he could kill Baghra - the very person who birthed him and stood by his side for centuries, then what of you?

"No, no, don't be scared, y/n!" He held his hands out, expression contorted in fear - but not fear of you.

You summoned a sphere of concentrated fire, but then, suddenly the shadow around you began to form a beast of more than 8 feet tall, barely able to fit into your own cabin. The beast brushed past the Darkling and stretched out its dark tentacles toward you, prepared to decapitate you - and you recognised it from Baghra's old stories, that it was a Nichevo'ya.

Only the Sun Summoner could stun this monster.

You spread out your fire into the Cut, prepared to fight against it.

"NO, don't do it!" The Darkling shouted, but his voice drowned out between you and the monster. You took a deep breath, and as the Nichevo'ya stretched its hands towards you for the killing blow, you quickly turn defensive and made a shield of fire.

It let out an ear-piercing scream, and you summoned a beam of fire from your core, before you penetrated it into the monster of darkness.

The Nichevo'ya disappeared into the shadows.

Your breathing was ragged and you needed to take a seat, so you clumsily rest yourself against your own wall.

"Was that the thing that killed your mother?" You let out a tired sigh.

"Yes...," the Darkling only stared in silence at you.

"And it's yours?".

"Yes,".

"How dare you use merzost again! Can't you see that its hurt thousands of people once, and now you've gone ahead and did it to your own mother," you exclaimed at him and rushed to open the door. "Get out and never come back. I can't see you like this," turning your gaze away from his scarred face, you tried to control your breathing.

"You know I never meant to, y/n," he began to unbuckle his knees and slowly approached you, as if he feared both your wrath and himself.

"It was always like that, Aleksander. You weren't a monster when all of this obsession to save our kind began. You were our commander - someone I could pour my loyalty for. But now," you turned your head away, holding back your tears. "You're obsessed with hunting down this Sun Summoner of yours and expanding the Fold. Won't that kill all Grisha too?".

The Darkling pursed his lips and studied your face. Slowly turning to finally meet his eyes once, you realised that he was displeased with your opinions, but made no move to silent you with any threat.

"I promised those that follow my command they will be safe," he added in a low voice.

"And I'll bet that they believed it. However, you know that you can't fool me. I was there with you for hundreds of years, heard thousands of your promises to all of Grisha. And you only brought upon them ruin and death with your ambition,".

Your old friend remained silent and only stared at you, wide-eyed and furious. He shifted his gaze to the door you've opened wide to beckon for his leave. Nodding, his legs slowly brought him outside your house. You followed him out as if you're still attracted to his power of command like all those years ago.

"Aleksander," you said once more, and he stopped in his tracks at the middle of forest. "You're not a monster like what everyone has said, especially your Alina Starkov. If she had seen what the previous kings had done to Grisha, the way that people had hunted us down and refused to provide us any food and water - simply because you requested more from the king, she would have done the same despite what she thought of herself," you approached him and cupped his one metallic hand, and his real one in yours.

You flinched a bit at how cold it was.

"I know I can't stop you once you've started your plans, but please," you began to rub your fingers against his knuckles, warming them up with your fire of hearth. "Don't kill the Sun Summoner. You're already lonely enough, and I can't see you ruin yourself for another century again," your breath trembled.

He nodded, and only looked into your bright eyes of hope with his starless ones. You weren't begging him to promise himself to your words, for you knew that your old friend couldn't break his promises to you - and so his silence revealed to you - that even he did not know if he would kill his Sun Summoner or not.

Slowly, you wrapped your arms around his neck and embraced him. The Darkling closed his eyes, held back his breath and only buried his face within your arms.

Something was telling you that this might be the last time you'd see him, and he thought so too.

#shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #fanfic #fem reader #the darkling #ben barnes #friends #aleksander morozova #aleksander x y/n #inferni #grishaverse #final battle #aleksander x reader #alina starkov #sun summoner #shadow summoner #y/n #angst #shadow and bone s2

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purpurnight · 6 months

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“𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓻𝓸𝓫𝓵𝓮𝓶 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮𝓼 𝓾𝓼 𝔀𝓮𝓪𝓴.” Me? Obsessed with Darklina? Yes I am.

#fanart #art #the darkling x alina #the darkling #alina starkov #alina starvok #grisha #the grisha trilogy #grishaverse #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix #sun summoner #shadow summoner

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seronsalk · 1 year

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A waltz with shadows

My Masterlist.

Aleksander Morozova/The Darkling x Sun Summoner fem!reader

AN: I had this idea, and I changed some things because I always thought it was really silly how Alina, a girl from the army, suddenly just started trusting a shadow man. (It's not extremely romantic sorry)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, mention of alcohol and other substance use.

Cute starry dividers from: @saradika (who is an absolute blessing with their creativity!)

Word count: 1,310k

It was the day of the winter fate and the atmosphere couldn't have been more busy.

The constant thought of the last couple of weeks remained at the front of your brain, everything was so different, especially you and the general.

You still didn't trust him, but the eerie longing feeling you had towards him lingered on your skin. Craving him to wrap his hand around your wrist again, no. You pushed those thoughts away, you didn't need a man to be there, Baghra was right as much as you hated to admit it.

As if on que, snapping you from your thoughts, Genya barged in holding a kefta and a servant brought in her kit before exiting swiftly.

"Saints, thank goodness I got here in time," she said widening her eyes at the look of your messy hair.

You breathed out a small laugh and with that Genya was at work.

"I know the general insisted on black for the performance, but afterwards I was thinking you could go back to the blue?" Genya expressed.

"Unless somehow he convinces me otherwise, I probably will, though I wouldn't want to come off as ungrateful, " you stated.

Genya paused her tailoring, "Don't feel like you have to always please him, I want you to be careful." "Careful of what?" you asked, a little confused.

"Powerful men."

"I know, I've seen a corrupted general or two, if he is like them, there is no difference," you stated, thinking back about some of the generals who you knew had used there army salaries to just drown themselves in liquor.

You decided to not clue Genya in on how you were weirdly drawn to Kirigan. Immediately hearing your thoughts say 'Kirigan' made you remember he had given you his name, though you had honestly ignored him.

Genya smiled, before continuing her work.

Later,

you both were walking through the hall and many of the ambassadors and guests of the royals were definitely gawking at you.

You were certain that if self control didn't exist a couple of them would have asked to marry you right then, not that you would have said yes.

As you and Genya walked you came to the main hall, "I can't enter with you, besides they aren't ready for you." However before she could get that through your brain, your gaze landed on Kirigan. He was speaking to the king and queen, you immediately walked in.

Murmurs caught his attention as he turned his gaze meeting you, you noticed his eyes wandered downward. His eyes were always so enticing as somehow you could see no emotion on his face, but every emotion in his eyes.

No matter how deep, dark and black those two pools were, getting lost in them was honestly a gift.

Before you could continue to think about his eyes, you came to your senses noticing he was now in front of you, "you were supposed to enter accompanied by guards," he said his eyes looking around before meeting your gaze.

Ah, there they were again, "You look lovely by the way."

"I can see you really got dressed up as well," she said with a teasing smile noticing he was wearing the same black kefta he always wore.

He smiled, "You don't like my different shade of black?" Then again their conversation was interrupted.

The Inferni twins started their demonstration, keeping the eyes on them and not you and the general for too long. Tossing balls of fire between each other with a few murmurs of interest from the audience.

When they finally ended their demonstration everyone clapped, but you nor the general did not. "It's time, let's show them all." He stated, before you could ask him any of your many questions.

He led you up on the wannabe stage-like platform before he drew the shadows into the hall quieting the guests and plunging them all into complete utter darkness.

As he turned, you focused on his eyes as you called your light. You split the beams into two and then heightened the light into the chandelier, like you had practiced.

Sending light bouncing off of everywhere in the room and the intensity of 'ouuing and ahhing' put a small smirk on your face.

When the light finally commenced, lots of them immediately started getting on a knee or so praying and saying "Sankta y/n." It felt extremely weird to be referred to as a saint.

The general helped you down and his facial expressions were unreadable, yet you found a strange emotion in his eyes almost hopeful.

Your suspicions had been confirmed when he simply said, "You are amazing, Miss l/n."

After being introduced to a few hundred people, you rejoined the general thinking about your bed and how tired you were. As if on que, the general held out his hand to you, "Would you like to dance?" You couldn't have imagined him dancing, especially with you.

As realization hit you hadn't given him an answer and instead left him patiently studying your facial expressions, you got out a quick, "I would love too."

With that he led you both to a part of the ballroom where a dance was about to begin. You grabbed his hand and rested your other on his shoulder. He placed his other hand on your waist and a chill was sent down your spine.

You both moved elegantly as one, and if anyone was watching, all they could see was the sun in the eclipse.

Your eyes locked with each other's as he spun you around before speaking.

"I know you aren't fond of my color on you, but I must say you look magnificent," he gawked.

Thinking on how to respond you smiled, "I must say its grown a little on me."

He smiled a little wider before they waltzed into a turn, even for a second of moving from each other's gaze it felt cold immediately, lost and empty.

And when it returned it was warm and sweet, safe and longing.

Feeling the need to say something you spoke up, "I would like to say that all these demonstrations of grishas abilities are honestly annoying, they aren't entertainers after all." He took a moment before responding, "No, We aren't." A slight smile creased your lips.

"It means a lot to know I am not the only one who doesn't appreciate these antics," he added.

Something in his eyes told you he was holding himself back on something else, but you didn't have to pry, he spoke softly, "You mean a lot to me and not just your power and what it means for everyone, but you yourself." That had your heart rate speeding up and you were sure Fedyor or Ivan were somewhere in the crowd silently smirking.

"Thank you," you paused before he pulled you closer for the last turn and in a near whisper so only he could hear it against his earlobe,

"Aleksander."

And the look in his eyes was all you needed to see, to know that he was your one and only future.

An: Alright shawty's I don't know about y'all, but this wasn't even like a big sappy thing I wanted, its just a little longing here and there let me know if you think I should I don't know make a part 2 or something!

Requests are always open, let me know what you got!

Thanks for reading, proud of you!

Shadow & Bone Masterlist!

#aleksander morozova x reader #aleksander morozova #shadow and bone #general kirigan x reader #the darkling x reader #genya safin #fedyor kaminsky #fanfiction #sun summoner #shadow summoner #baghra morozova #grishaverse

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croissntsblog · 11 months

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But somehow, they found peace

(A doodle from my sketchbook that i decided to color in digital. Messy and all but fun with the colors! Im in the first part of the third book, anticipating the end and already making fanart to cope what’s coming)

#shadow and bone #alina starkov #drawing #fanart #darklina #grishaverse #grisha #sankta alina #sun summoner #shadow summoner #the darkling #aleksander morovoza #general kirigan #s&b #s&b trilogy #fluff #happy comeback #just pls they can be so much #alarkling

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iamthehamburglar · 3 months

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#random crap #funny #meme #funny memes #shadow and bone season 3 #shadow and bone bloopers #shadow and bone cast #shadow summoner #shadow and bone #six of crows cast #six of crows duology #six of crows characters #six of crows book #six of crows #ben barnes #amita suman #inej ghafa #the darkling #aleksander morozova

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writerloversjm · 1 year

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Corrosive Jealousy

Darkling x Fem!Reader

A/N: Inspired by the events of Shadow and Bone S1

Summary: You know it's all part of a bigger plan, but you can't help but feel jealous every time he sees the approach between Aleksander and Alina. It gets to the point where even you can't take it anymore.

Warnings: Y/n is a Healer, Jealousy, anguish, mention drunk, canonical level violence, blood, bad thoughts, anger, mention of injuries, poisoning, Merzost.

Count: 3,1k

________________

You shouldn't be jealous of a Sun Summoner girl.

You knew you would never be more to him than a Healer while she was Ravka's salvation.

You also couldn't help the bitter taste rising in your throat every time you saw Alina and your general together.

How could? You never expected to be replaced after 150 years of working and living with Aleksander, let alone a pathetic, naive girl like her.

You saw how he was beside himself with excitement when he arrived with the Summuner, at first you wondered if it was just that the girl was what he had been waiting for, or something more. It didn't take long for you to have your answer.

“Did you call me General?” You asked, slowly opening the door, already predicting what you would find.

Aleksander was in his armchair without Kefta and with his shirt open, Alina was between his legs, trying to fix a deep cut. You would laugh if you weren't worried. You hated your stupid feelings.

His blood boiled. His heart bled. "I was healing a boy with a broken leg, remember that the next time you take me out of my job for nothing General, please" the two looked in their direction but only found a closed door. Ivan, who was at the door, said nothing before his furious look and his heavy steps moving away.

When you got back to the infirmary, Feydor was already done with the boy's leg in its place. You felt even more irritated. "Why don't you go get some air in the library Y/n?"

You, of course, understood Feydor's suggestion as get out of here before you explode. You nodded, calming your pounding heart. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I can cover for you for a few hours” your friend replied, you let out a sigh, feeling pathetic for letting yourself succumb to feelings after so many years. “And try not to have a heart attack, your heart is not so young anymore”

You laughed at his teasing as you left, the healers closest to you always unconditionally reminded that for all Ghisha, you had joined the Second Army a few years before General Kirigan's father died.

The library was silent when you arrived, not even the librarian was there. And by trade you entered the farthest hall. At the end of the hall was an inconspicuous door, made of Grisha steel, with a room filled with only books on romance, fantasy, and subjects you liked. It was made for you a long time ago.

You entered taking the last book you were reading and sat in your armchair to read and distract yourself.

You woke up to the sound of the door opening. It took her sleepy brain to recognize the tall figure that entered, but as soon as it did, her mood plummeted. "What are you doing here?"

“Were you here all night?” His relieved tone put you on edge. Something had happened. You nodded, closing the book that was in your lap and placing it on the side table. Her neck ached. "What happened?"

"Some Shu were seen circling Os Alta, you were gone all day Y/n, and everyone knows how you like to walk around the city" he said leaning against a bookshelf, did you notice how his skin seemed to be covered by a thin layer of sweat. "I'm sorry but I'm still here"

“Stop being an idiot Y/n, everyone was worried” Aleksander said and you did in a dismissive sound. All. All. But and you? You folded the blanket from your lap and stood up. “Have a good time Aleksander”

“Y/n...” as you walked past him, you heard his erratic heartbeat and the way everything seemed to be working slowly in his body. And it wasn't just that the Merzost that coursed through her veins and hindered her healing process like most of the time. “Y/n”

You knew he wanted to say something by his tone, but you didn't want to listen, you needed some time for yourself and distance from him, and all the feelings that were making you sick. "Go take a cold shower and relax, I'll stop by your room to heal you Aleksander."

You left the library quickly, going quickly to your room. You didn't stop to hear how happy and relieved everyone was that you were okay, you were too busy in your mind to pay attention to that. Alina appeared in front of her and you hurried past her. “Do you know where General Kirigan is?”

You entered her room – one that you hadn't used a while ago – and she followed you. You opened your briefcase with medicines and antidotes. Alina approached you. “I know Alina, and I need distance”

"Where is he?" Her demanding nature reminded you of a spoiled princess you once knew. You took what you needed to get the Darkling's venom out and left again, completely ignoring Alina. She followed you. “Could you not answer me?!”

“Alina, why don’t you go find something to do and let me do my job?” You were running hurriedly through the halls, with an annoying shadow behind you. “Y/n do I need to know where he is?”

“Not Alina, you want to know, and unlike everyone else, I don't give you everything you want. Now stop following me and get out of here.”

Ivan opened the door for you the moment you stopped in front of the door, which closed in Alina's face. “Did he get worse?”

“Do you take care of him? I'll bring David and Genya” he said leaving the war room and you locked the door. You entered Aleksander's room, Feydor was trying to take care of him, but apparently the poison was making him delirious.

“You can't summon General now, it will only spread more poison” his voice interrupted a series of meaningless words and Feydor looked at you in relief. “Y/n, thanks to the Saints, I'm trying to bring his fever down, but his body is too slow”

“Let me do it, can you start arranging the antidote dosages?” You asked and Feydor nodded, stepping away from the dying man. You approached Aleksander. “How are you feeling General?”

“It's cold, the clothes are itchy, and I want candy” you chuckled at his pitiful state. She didn't have to touch his skin to feel his fever. "I don't want that tomato near me"

“Are you going to be difficult today in?!” You joked to distract him. You made sure Feydor wasn't looking and summoned Merzost. You would never have lived so long without it.

When your fingertips turned dark you manipulated the Little Science to cure Aleksander, just enough to put him to sleep, you still needed to know how that poison got into him, and only David and Genya would know that. “Goodnight y/n”

“Good night Sasha”

“Why after healing the General does it always look like a carriage ran over you?” Genya asked as she made her dark circles disappear. “The poison was leaving serious sequelae, I had to work all night”

Her response was vague and she didn't question it. But the truth is, Merzost takes a toll, and refuses to be healed. You had to give yourself a lot to heal Aleksander. But you would do it a thousand times if you had to.

You just hated the doubts that roamed your mind. There was a time when you were sure what he would do for you, today you are not so sure anymore.

After she finished making you presentable, you tucked the gloves into your hands and headed out into the day, even though walking through the cafeteria made your stomach do somersaults and your head hasn't stopped hurting since you woke up.

“Where is Ivan or Feydor?” You asked one of the men guarding the Darkling's door. “Not arrived yet”

You nodded and left, just then you saw the time. Of course you knew it was early, but you were surprised at how early it was, it was barely dawn. You felt bad for making Genya wake up so early.

The quiet morning gave way to a noisy afternoon, and you were barely enduring your migraine when one of the General's men warned you that you were being summoned.

You felt like you were in déjà vu. “Did you call me General?” You asked, opening the door slowly, not knowing what you would find.

Aleksander was in his armchair without his Kefta and his shirt open, Alina was between his legs, trying to examine the cut on his shoulder. She completely ignored her, in fact she seemed to be in another world. You took a deep breath.

"My shoulder is killing me Milaya" Aleksander said with a murmur, but he broke into a huge smile when he saw you, which you couldn't help but reciprocate. You knew the antidote was working, you just didn't think it would get so soft. "Lucky for you it's just the shoulders, a few hours ago it was the whole body"

"Why the gloves?" Alina asked moving away from Aleksander, you took her place to see the stitches. You rolled your eyes. "I know you don't like her, but you could at least disguise your dislike for her, she's important!"

You gave a bitter laugh as you started to heal him again. Who knew that even knocked down by a dose of medicine Aleksander Mozorova still managed to hurt you. "I rolled my eyes at your idiocy in preferring stitches over a quick heal, Alina was just your victim"

“He's pretty doped up now, isn't he?” Feydor questioned entering the war room joining Alina, immediately Aleksander threw him a withering look. “You will not steal my woman Feydor”

“General are you having an allergic reaction?” You knew it would, but it wasn't serious enough to worry, so you could have fun. It masked the aching thud of his heart with his words. He ignored you and tried to get up. "What do you think you are doing?"

“Going to teach Feydor what happens when he looks at my woman like that” he was actually furious in his somewhat questionable state of mental equilibrium. You stopped healing him to place your hands on his chest and stop him. “I'm sure he loves Ivan too much to look at Alina the way he's thinking, you'll just stand there sir.”

His heart stopped for a second as he realized what he had admitted, it was a great relief to his soul nonetheless. You just went back to healing Aleksander's shoulder, looking only at the wound now.

“Stop being such an idiot Y/n, I don't care how he looks at Alina, I don't want him looking at you like that” You ignored every word he said in your state, avoiding the disappointments that would come as the medicine wears off. A tear trickled down his face. You finished healing him in silence and the moment you finished, you practically ran out of the room.

Hot tears made a path down his face.

You'd spent the last three weeks willfully ignoring Feydor, Ivan, Genya or anyone else who could and would report you to General Kirigan, you'd gotten good at it. But now you had no way out. It was the Yule Ball, and you loved it. Not showing up today would be doubly suspicious.

You grimaced as a servant pulled your hair into an elaborate bun. “I hate men, why are they so complicated?!”

“Women are not easier” the servant who was fixing you commented, looking at the one who was fixing your dress.

And okay, after you got some alone time to analyze your feelings and the circumstances, you came to the conclusion that Alina wasn't so bad. You knew about your husband's plan, and you had allowed it, only her feelings got out of control with the amount of time spent with the girl, her old ones start to take root in your head again and all the circumstances made you react badly. Alina was scared and clung to the first people who showed support and understanding, like a scared child.

But you were still very angry, especially with Aleksander, and you had no intention of forgiving him so soon. You were mad at Alina for the jealousy you still felt, and mad at yourself for acting like a freaking bitch; but for one night everything could have a truce.

“That's why book characters are better,” you said, getting up after they were done with your face and hair.

Someone knocked on your door, and you saw when they delivered a box, you already imagined what was inside and you weren't quite willing to use it. “Help me with the dress please”

Some of Ravka's most powerful Ghisha, as well as nobles and the royal family would be in this year's Fate, security would be more than doubled, there was no reason for you to use a Kefta.

Your maids helped you into your heavy dress and high-heeled sandals. After the fight against the fabric you could finally see yourself in the mirror.

For an instant you were reminded of the dresses you'd worn when you were a young Ghisha, smells of skirts and layers, with gems and tulle. In fact, you could just as easily have been dressing for a ball back then in her red tiered gown, with embroidered silver tulle.

Just their colors, no rings, no wedding symbols. Just Y/n and her eternally youthful looks. You felt beautiful and desirable. You would think that time had not passed if not for your hands.

They hadn't yet recovered from the use of Merzost, and from his fingers to the middle of his forearms they were streaked black, a stain that wouldn't go away for nothing. “Your Gloves”

You said thank you by reaching out to put them on and then you were done. Someone knocked on your door and before you could even think, the servant was already opening the door.

Aleksander came in in all his glory, his Kefta looked even blacker, all the light seemed to flee from him, his beard was clean and a slight smile graced his face. You knew that not even the Saints would be as beautiful as he was, but today it was hard to even look at it for very long.

Even if it wasn't for you. The servants left and you were alone with him. You saw that immediately when his gaze met you a crease formed in his forehead, showing displeasure. “You are not using your Kefta”

“I can't get through if you keep ahead of me” even the slowest of men would know that this is a sure sign that a woman doesn't want to talk to him, but *age must be getting to him* you thought how much he continued in front of you. "What do you want?"

“Stop being childish Y/n” his tone was scolding and you were already fed up. “Have you come to give me directions on how not to ruin your perfect night with Alina? Don't worry I promise it will be easy for you to forget I'm there, and by the way, please never pass your kids that notebook you pull the best quotes from to make me feel like shit.”

Aleksander looked at you in panic, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. You pushed him out of the way and left the room.

You had no idea how you ended up in that situation. One moment you were drunk and leaving the ball to spend time in your library, and now you felt your blood trickling down your gaping throat with an ugly wound.

You could have healed earlier, but the shock of fright and the alcohol made you lose precious minutes and now you didn't even have the strength to raise your hands.

The hallway you were in wasn't the most used, and the situation only gets worse because I don't move at all with everyone having fun at the ball. You never imagined that you would die alone, but perhaps it was a punishment for having become so bitter.

When the familiar darkness opened around you, all that was left was to close your eyes and accept your fate.

“It's going to be a slow recovery, she's going to be fine” your head ached at the sound of the voice, which although familiar you couldn't place. "I'll be back in an hour, if anything happens before then call me General"

You felt your throat extremely dry, and tremors of weakness in your body, and cold as if not all the blankets of the earth could warm you. His only source of heat was in the palm of his hand. But you couldn't open your eyes.

“Forgive me milaya, I should have realized how bad I was doing you, how I was hurting you, I should have been with you, be on your side, this would never have happened if I wasn't being a selfish bastard, it's my fault, please forgive me...” You recognized that voice, and your head didn't ache, but the inconsistency soon took over again.

The next time you woke up, there seemed to be an argument going on. You couldn't keep up with everything, your head was too heavy. You thanked the Saints when you blacked out again.

And then the next time you woke up your eyes opened to complete darkness. You immediately identified where you were, not only by the contours of familiar furniture or all the black walls but mainly by the quiet breathing behind you. “Aleksandr?”

The movement behind you was immediate, soon he was leaning over you, checking if it was you and then he got out of bed quickly and got a glass of water. He helped you lift your head to drink. You pulled away after your partnered throat better. You sighed, and tried to put into words everything you felt. "I am tired"

“I'm so sorry milaya” his words were also loaded with meaning and promise, but the doubts that had been creeping into your mind made you skeptical. He saw it. “I promise you that I will spend every remaining day of our lives making up for everything bad I made you feel, every doubt, bitterness, sadness, everything.”

“Can I go back to sleep in my bed?” You asked shyly, you saw his eyes fill with tears before he leaned his forehead against yours. His tear trickled down her cheek. “Of course you can my love”

“I think this is a good start, but I'm still mad at you” you said feeling the weakness hit again and he chuckled softly, then he settled you on the pillows, and lay down next to you, hugging your body with his arms. Careful. “I will earn my forgiveness milaya”

________________

#imagine #aleksander morovoza #aleksander x reader #jealousy #shadow summoner #shadow and bone #the darkling x reader #general kirigan #merzost

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aesthetic--mood · 6 months

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Aleksander Morozova "The Darkling" Aesthetic

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thedelusionreaderbitch · 1 year

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Kaz Brekker x male! Reader - Infinite

A/n: I think I kinda trauma dumped onto this fic a little so whoops-

Request (by anon): Hii! I found your blog not long ago and I LOVE YOUR WRITING AHHHH 🫶🫶

I was wondering if you could write a gn or male shadow summoner!reader x Kaz Brekker where they're Darklings kid but ran away due to him being a bad father. The reader lived in Ketterdam for quite some time now and met Kaz in his early days there. They trust eachother and know alot about other but reader hides who his father is. then one day reader has a worse day remembering all the good – and bad – memories with The Darkling and in The Small Palace and is overwhelmed, so he helps reader and that's how he finds out about why they ran away and all, but Kaz understands and doesn't push the reader away and it just brings them closer??

Sort of a hurt/comfort. If you won't write it that's fine, I'd just really wanna see you do this! (￣ω￣)

Warnings: child abuse, trauma (10X but not in the way you think), the darkling, death, canon? we don't know her, there is a bit of inej slander but it's a trauma reponse and gets fixed later on in the fic, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The 3 P's:

[pov: 3rd person] [pronouns used: he/him] [pairings: (past! parental!) darkling x reader, (romantic!) kaz x reader, (platonic! mentioned!) kaz x inej]

Finite.

That's what would happen, if he did something wrong, or truly let him in. Kaz could only see so deep into him before he would stop him, send him away or make it seem like everything was okay.

His shaking hands gripped the sink as tears ran down his face.

How could he do that to him? How could Kaz chose Inej, over himself when he knew, he knew that he was a shadow summoner, that if he was found out he would be killed, or worse. Taken back to the little palace.

He couldn't, he can't, he-

He would never go back.

But Kaz had made him go back, on a job, to get that stupid sun summoner, then he chose Inej over him, by asking if she was okay. He never asked, he never looked, he just had to make sure that his little Wraith was alive. His greatest investment.

A scream tore through his throat and shadows were ripped from him as the cut went around the room.

How could he. He was a fool, he trusted him, why couldn't he-

Why couldn't he just care?

Though, he doesn't care for him, he tells himself over and over again, he doesn't care for Kaz Brekker, not when they were children and certainly not now. He can't care, because love can't be given that easily, he has to work for it and he has certainly not worked, or given Kaz enough.

His love would always be restricted.

The sound of a cane coming into contact with the broken in floor boards made him laugh, it was a mean sound, it was cruel and broken but so right.

He sounded like him.

That didn't matter, just like how Kaz was nothing.

A hand was placed beside his, and his breath caught in his throat, he couldn't do this, because as soon as this was over Kaz wouldn't even look his way. He wouldn't ask if he was okay, he wouldn't ask how he was holding up, he wouldn't be of value to him.

Abruptly he pulled away and crossed his arms over his chest, his shadows dancing in the distance, mocking him. Another reminder of what he cannot escape.

"I shouldn't have brought you on that job."

Something in him snaps at those words, no he never wanted to go, but he was enough- no he deserved to go and get that money. He didn't need Kaz to tell him things he couldn't change, he needed Kaz to tell him things he could. Like his love wasn't limited, please say it isn't.

It is though, isn't it? All things have limits.

Scoffing, he turns around to face him and he's not prepared for the emotion, the boy with the cane presents him with.

Sorrow, incredible sorrow.

Has he seen how he's been spiraling? Is all he truly feels is pity?

He doesn't want Kaz's pity, he didn't when he handpicked him off the streets only weeks after Jordie had died. He doesn't need any more pity, he got lots of it from certain members of the little palace, from Baghra.

"Leave me alone Kaz. I don't want to talk to you."

His words are a juxtaposition to what he's really feeling, it's the irony in it all. The greatest joke of all time, because he does want Kaz to talk to him, and he doesn't want Kaz to leave him alone. To leave him, to find someone better, someone more worth his time.

"No." Kaz speaks softly. "I saw how you reacted when you saw the darkling that day, I knew that you were a shadow summoner and I was a fool to think that man could be a good father."

He blinks at Brekker, once, twice, three times, before everything releases.

Oh.

The shadows in the distance stop dancing, as his shoulders fall down, so do his shadows. They stop dancing, then they fall, only to be left with the occasionally swirl now that his emotions aren't everywhere at once. Now that he understands Kaz's intentions, now that he's slowly realizing Kaz understands him.

"The darkling isn't my biological father." Is where he starts, and simultaneously's pauses to see if he would stop him. Walk out at the mere mention of his sob story. He doesn't.

"But my parents left me the moment they found out I was a shadow summoner, then he took me."

He squeezed his eyes shut, he didn't remember much about his biological parents, but he remembers his mother's smile, and his father's hands. Often he wonders what would have happened if they had stayed, if they would have loved a monster child enough so he could love them back. Enough so he wouldn't become one later, or that one would never find him. The world isn't fair though, and it is made up of monsters. He just so happened to be raised by one, and perhaps even became one.

It's feasibly disturbing that he doesn't back away and retch at the thought.

"I don't know if he wasn't ever not, bad, if he was I don't remember him as such. He only treated me cruelly, as a-"

Mirror to himself.

Was that all he was? A mirror to the terrible black heretic? A mirror to the monster who killed, to try and make things better? Was he destined to become him?

Then, a hand without the familiar leather clasps that enclosed them, brush against his face and his eyes shot open.

It's Kaz, it's always been Kaz.

"You are not their mistake, you are not him." He whispers in his ear. "You valued and safe."

He doesn't know if he'll ever be able to tell Kaz the true extent of everything the black heretic put him through, if he'll ever even tell him why he's like this. So dependent, but pushing away the moment they connect.

But he knows he can't be a reflection of the darkling, because he would still be at the little palace then. He would still be training with that man he used to call his father, he would have not run away to meet his faithful one in Ketterdam.

They were both broken, and bruised, and hurt beyond what anyone could ever comprehend. For now though, they have each other, and he has to remind himself that it makes it all worth it. That it's enough.

Kaz lets his hand slide but he understands, he always will.

Kaz may ask his Wraith if she's okay because she's a valuable investment, his friend. However Kaz will come back to him after, and they'll be the one brushing hands, skin to skin. Kaz will be the one to show him his inside, without his armor, and he'll desperately try to do the same.

Love can come easy, people can be redeemed if the person who's forgiving them so wishes it. He's done terrible things under the command of a man he called his father, things he can never take back. Lives he can never get back.

His father would get no redemption, but he would make sure that shadow summoners would, that he would not be just a reflection of his father.

He does that by staying in Ketterdam, staying with Kaz.

"Thank you." He murmurs back to the bastard.

Kaz just gives him the barest of smiles. "Always."

Love isn't finite, love is infinite.

Words 1236

-thedelusionreaderbitch

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