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I posted 1,410 times in 2022
That's 575 more posts than 2021!
488 posts created (35%)
922 posts reblogged (65%)
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I tagged 1,359 of my posts in 2022
Only 4% of my posts had no tags
#shawn mendes - 1,328 posts
#shawn peter raul mendes - 1,326 posts
#shawn mendes instagram - 129 posts
#wtwt 2022 - 91 posts
#asks are love - 45 posts
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#anon asks - 37 posts
#shawn mendes fanfic - 35 posts
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#shawn mendes fic - 22 posts
Longest Tag: 88 characters
#i promise i won't continuously bore you all with talk of healthy eating and fitness shit
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
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202 notes - Posted November 9, 2022
#4
If It Isn't You / Part 2
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Shawn Mendes x reader. Word Count: ~3.1k Warnings: A little bit of everything. Angst, fluff, slight smut. A/N: If you haven't yet read "If It Isn't You", you may want to. I hadn't originally planned on turning IIIY into a two-parter, but this request felt too perfect. It might not be exactly what you had in mind, Anon, but I hope you like it just the same. I know I haven't posted anything for awhile so be easy on me, yeah? 😜
/// ❤️ \\\
Four years later…
Aura barreled into her nana and papa’s house, straight for her auntie Aaliyah, who scooped her up and peppered kisses all over her face.
Shawn trailed behind, a sleepy Ezra in his arms. He gave his mum a one-armed hug.
Karen reached for the three-year-old to take him from her son and immediately noticed how warm he was. “Poor baby.”
“No nausea, but no appetite either. His fever is at 101. I gave him some Tylenol, and I’ve been pushing fluids. Water, juice, Pedialyte, whatever he’ll drink.”
Manny stepped up beside them and placed one hand on Shawn’s shoulder, gently squeezing, while the other tenderly rubbed his grandson’s small back.
“Y/n told me I could leave him home with her for a few hours, but she’s supposed to be on bed rest. He probably would have just slept beside her the whole time, but I would have worried all evening.”
“You didn’t have to come to dinner this week at all, bub,” Karen said.
“Y/n insisted,” Shawn smirked, with a roll of his eyes. “She’s annoyed with me for being a ‘mother hen’ and said a few hours of quiet would help her not smother me in my sleep tonight,” he chuckled. “I got her all set up and Mia is on call.”
“How’s she doing?” Aaliyah asked, approaching her family, Aura perched on her hip.
“Better than I am, or so it seems,” Shawn said with a soft huff. “I don’t think she’s letting me see the full truth of it. There were no complications with the twins and she was active up until the day they were born. She’s used to being independent and completely immersed in Ez and Aura’s routines, and I know it’s affecting her that she has to stay still and depend on me more than she feels is fair. We’ve always been a team, and to have to watch from the sidelines has been hard for her.
"She’s easily irritated and reacts in her frustration and then she feels guilty when she bites at me.”
Aura unexpectedly launched herself at Shawn and when he caught her, she clung to him, little arms around his neck. “Hey monkey,” he murmured, giving her a squeeze and a kiss. He realized that this conversation might not be best to continue in front of your baby girl. “Should we help Nana finish getting dinner ready?” he asked, shifting gears. She nodded but still wouldn’t loosen her hold on her daddy.
Aura watched as Nana gave Ezra to Papa, and as Papa carried Ezra to the living room couch to lay him down. She screwed her little face into a scowl. She didn’t like how everyone was fussing over her brother. It made her belly feel funny.
She felt better when she was helping Nana with dinner and watching Daddy and Auntie Liyah tease each other while they got the table set, especially when Daddy kept asking his ‘prettiest and goofiest and specialest girl’ which dishes and cups and napkins would be best.
///
Sitting at the table without a spot set for Ezy, listening to Daddy and Papa and Nana and Liyah talk about things she didn’t fully understand, Aura missed Ezy. She had always had her brother to talk to when the grownups were talking.
But even though she missed Ezy, she also didn’t like him right now because dinner kept getting cut up by someone always going and coming back and forth to check on him, even though he was sleeping.
She felt as small as an inchworm. Her little body would scrunch up tight until someone would ask her a question and then she’d stretch when it was her turn to talk. Too soon and everyone would go back to stupid grownup talk and she’d… scrunch.
Aura’s belly, and now her eyes too, started getting all twisty again. She stood from her seat without Daddy telling her she could be excused and with mean fists she stomped her foot before bolting from the room.
She almost ran back to tell Daddy she was sorry for not asking if she could be done, because the worst thing of all was when Daddy was ‘disappointed’, but her skin felt too itchy.
///
Shawn found your daughter in his old bedroom, where she was stuffing things into her extra dance bag. Karen and Manny had transformed it into a room for their grandbabies with two small beds, drawers full of clothes, and bins full of toys.
He paused in the doorway. “What are you doing, monkey?”
“I’m runnin’ ’way,” Aura said, giving her daddy the angriest face she could muster, but Shawn could also see the tears in eyes so much like yours.
Shawn knelt down before her and tugged gently on one of her braids. “I wish you didn’t feel like you need to leave. I’d sure miss you. Mommy too. And Nana and Papa, and Auntie Liyah,” he continued, looking over his shoulder where they were all now hovering.
“And what about Auntie Mia, and Uncle Brian, and Grumpy and Gran? Miss Annie, Ms Kelly, Jacob and Clara and Tess would all be worried if you didn’t go to school. But who would miss you the very most?”
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210 notes - Posted March 20, 2022
#3
Aw, Nuts
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NSFW 18+ / Minors, please DNI…
Word Count: ~4.8k Notes: I had fun with this one, until I didn't, and then again when I did. 😜 Some angst, smut, and some fluff. Didn’t stick to the request exactly. Let’s be honest, no sexy time for three months? None at all? Come on, it’s Shawn. 😝 I haven’t written present tense for awhile, so please forgive any mistakes you might see... Might be a bit before I get to another request. I’ve been neglecting my OC series, so I’m going to try to finish the next part of that before I sift through my asks again. As always, likes are wonderful, but reblogs are better, and comments are cherished. 💕
* ❤️ *
You scrutinize yourself in your full length mirror.
You’re wearing a blush colored, lace bodycon dress and the most comfortable of the cutest heels you own for a night out with your boyfriend.
You screw your face and huff, “Am I not attractive? Am I not sexy?”
“Of course you are, darling,” your best friend, JJ, hums distractedly.
“You would fuck me if you were straight, wouldn’t you?”
“In a heartbeat, Sweetie,” he mumbles.
You glance over your shoulder. The other occupant of your apartment is sideways in the plush armchair in the corner of your bedroom, his eyes not on you, but his phone screen.
His inattention further frustrates you. “Bitch, enough with the damn phone. I’m in the middle of a crisis here! I need your attention more than whatever sugar daddy you’re flirting with on Grindr.” You stomp across the room and yank his phone from his hands.
“What the hell?!” He snatches his phone back but wisely shoves it in his pocket and sits up properly. “All right. You have my undivided attention. What’s the goddamn crisis?”
“Shawn.”
JJ raises an eyebrow. “Shawn?”
You pout. “We’ve been dating for three months and we still haven’t had sex.”
“Wait, what??” JJ thought you were keeping your sex life private for Shawn’s sake, being who he is; he hadn’t ever thought there might not be a sex life to talk about.
“What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?”
“Nothing. He is wild about you. He looks at you like you hung the moon, and the stars.”
“Well then, what the hell?” you grumble.
“You’re not usually shy in taking what you want. Direct the outcome.”
“You think I haven’t tried? You do know that my boyfriend is one of the hottest men in the world, right?”
“Well aware, thank you,” JJ snickers. “Are you getting any kind of action? Come on, spill.”
“We have really hot makeout sessions.”
“Yes, I’ve seen the marks left behind,” he mutters.
“He loves my tits.”
“You do have phenomenal tits.”
‘We’ve gotten really good at second base… But when I try to stick my hand down his pants, he puts the brakes on.”
“I think the better question is, what’s wrong with him?”
You give JJ a little shove, by his face, and chuckle softly before you sigh again. “I miss sex. I really, really like sex.”
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217 notes - Posted October 13, 2022
#2
If It Isn't You
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Shawn Mendes x female reader.
Secondary (anon) prompt: "There are two steady heartbeats."
Word Count: ~6.2k ( HOLY CRAP! )
Warnings: Angst to fluff.
A/N: You should all know by now that I can't seem to write a short story, but even I'm shocked! 😜 This is the first time where I’m fusing two requests because they work well together. I always proofread, always more than once, but if I’ve missed anything, please forgive me. I hope you all like it!!
/// ❤️ \\\
You weren’t sure how to feel as you looked at the little window of the third pregnancy test you had taken, only to see a third plus sign. Granted, the first test you took you may have taken too soon after missing your period so you couldn’t be certain it was a true positive. Or maybe you were just too terrified at the time to entertain the thought of what it would mean.
When you started puking up your guts one morning a week later, and then again every morning thereafter, you took two more. And now you had no choice but to accept your fate.
You had always been safe. Or thought you had. You tried to recollect if there had been a time when you had been careless or impulsive, or if there had been any concern about a broken condom.
There was no question you would be keeping your baby. That was the easiest of the decisions you would have to make going forward. The most difficult? Do you tell Shawn?
Your globetrotting, world famous, now ex- boyfriend. The man you had believed, with every ounce of your existence, was meant to be your happily ever after. You had even made it to the stage in your relationship where you thought he was close to proposing.
You had weathered so much together, navigating his fame and everything it had entailed, including periodic bouts of social media brutality. You stood by each other through it all because it was worth it. Or so you promised, whispering affirmations of love and devotion into the skin and mouths of one another in those quiet moments when you shut the world out.
You still couldn’t comprehend how it all went so wrong, so quickly. You had had your share of healthy arguments and fights, but you had always worked through them after a brief cooling off period, neither of you wanting to ever go to bed angry, and it had only made you stronger. But this fight, the fight that had ended you, was something else entirely.
Abrupt, dizzying. Sharp, and unceasing. Surging, spiraling, and climactically, an explosion. He had stormed out of his condo, fiercer than a hurricane, your condo, after he had asked you to move in five months earlier, and you had been left alone with your anger and anguish, and exhausted to your very bones. He hadn’t returned that night, and had stayed gone for another 24 hours without so much as a text to tell you where he was or when he would be home. It was Brian who’d had the decency to let you know that Shawn was at least alive.
By the morning after that your things had been packed and you had left to stay with your ex-boyfriend, the ex before Shawn, and still good friend, Luke, in his guest room.
There were other friends you could have asked to temporarily house you, but you knew choosing Luke would aggravate Shawn the greatest, and at the time you had been enraged (and worried sick) by his… abandonment.
Shawn had never forbidden you from having certain friends or for spending time with who you wished to, he wasn’t that kind of man, but Luke had frequently been a point of contention between you, even though you had always taken Shawn’s feelings into consideration and limited your interaction with the other man who loved you.
The longer you stayed in Luke’s house, the guiltier you felt. And once enough time had passed where you realized Shawn wasn’t coming to apologize and bring you home, that’s when you knew it was over. You blamed yourself then, wondering if you had found anyone else but Luke to take you in, would Shawn have come for you then? Had you made the biggest mistake of your life by throwing that in his face?
Luke would have let you stay indefinitely, but you couldn’t offer him even a sliver of hope that your feelings for him might regress to what they were before Shawn, now that you were no longer with Shawn. You had loved Luke, but never like you loved Shawn. You would never be able to love anyone the way you loved your tall, curly-headed, big-hearted, Canadian boy.
So, you had quickly, fortunately, found a sublet, a small studio apartment, which would do until you figured out what your future would look like without Shawn in it.
You sighed heavily, wearily.
Shawn deserved to know he was going to be a father and to choose how much he wanted to be involved in your child’s life, but you were still hurting, aching, and keeping it from him, as spiteful as it might be, would serve him right.
He had moved on so fast. Faster than anyone should have after ending a significant, more than two-year relationship. Your heart had not only been broken but had been ripped from your chest.
Shawn was only two weeks into the first leg of Tour, and he already had some girl trailing after him all over Europe. That should have been you, was supposed to be you.
Tears fell from your eyes, streaking your cheeks; you didn’t even bother wiping them away. You had already cried so much, you were surprised you had any tears left.
You told yourself you had time to decide when and how to tell him, for you would wait until he returned from Tour. This was something he didn’t need distracting him until he had time to truly digest it.
Six weeks. Six weeks to summon the courage to face him without falling to pieces.
In the meantime, you would need to make an appointment with an obstetrician, and then start looking for something bigger than a studio.
///
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853 notes - Posted February 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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1,321 notes - Posted August 12, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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shawnmendesbuddy · 1 year
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I posted 22 times in 2022
21 posts created (95%)
1 post reblogged (5%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@shawnmendesbuddy
I tagged 21 of my posts in 2022
Only 5% of my posts had no tags
#shawnmendes - 27 posts
#shawnmendesxreader - 18 posts
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#shawnmendesfanfiction - 15 posts
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Longest Tag: 43 characters
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My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Realizations: Doubts Part 2
Summary: Reader is tasked with the job of being Shawn’s attorney for his lawsuit in a plagiarism case.
Warnings: Swearing, cheating, angst
Part 1
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Two years had passed since the dreadful fight between Y/N and Shawn. After he walked out of the door, he also walked out of Y/N’s life.
Two days after the breakup there was a knock on her door. Brian stood on her porch holding a box full of her stuff that she had left at Shawn’s. He looked sheepish (but anyone would if they were sent with this task).
Brian and Y/N had met through Shawn, but they instantly clicked and became close friends. Y/N and Shawn always made sure to keep Brian out of their arguments so that he wouldn’t have to pick a side, but now that they were broken up, it seems that Shawn didn’t care about following this rule anymore. However, Brian was Shawn’s friend first so Y/N wasn’t going to fight over him.
“Woah, you look like shit,” Brian chuckled to lighten the mood, but Y/N shot him a death stare.
“Yea well that’s what happens when you break up with someone who you thought would be your end all be all. But thanks for the compliment. Is this the stuff that I left at his house?”
Y/N felt a pang of sadness jolt through her. She knew she should probably grab all of Shawn’s hoodies to return to him while Brian was here.
“Yea. He said that it hurt too much to look at.”
Y/N sighted. “Let me go grab his stuff while you’re here. I don’t want to have bring it over myself either.”
“No, don’t! He ummm he said that he didn’t want his stuff back.”
Y/N was confused, but nodded her head taking the box that Brian held out.
“I’m gonna miss you Bri.”
Brian smiled sadly at her. “Hey, it’s not the end of our friendship. I just don’t think we should talk for a few months, you know. Just til you both have some time to heal.”
Y/N nodded and Brian pulled her in for a hug. “You know he never wanted it to end this way. You can still fix this,” he whispered.
“I…he was right. I wasn’t spending as much time as I should with him. I got too busy. Maybe will find each other again someday, but for now, we both need to focus on our stuff.”
“You know he said the same thing.”
Y/N chuckled. “Guess that’s one of the things we can agree on then. Tell him I wish the best for him.”
“Of course.”
Y/N sat in her office pouring over a case when her phone rang. She quickly picked it up. “Hello this is Y/N L/N from L/N Law Firms. What can I do for you?”
“Umm hi. It’s been a while. This is Andrew.”
Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. “I’m sorry. Andrew who?”
“Oh! Sorry! This is Andrew Gertler. I’m Shawn’s manager.”
Y/N felt a pang of guilt run through her. She and Andrew hadn’t been particularly close, but Shawn had seen him as a brotherly figure and he was very fond of him.
“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! How are you?!”
“I’m doing ok. And actually that’s why I called you. I have a huge favor to ask and you can decline, but I would really appreciate if you didn’t.”
“Alright. What can I help you with?”
“Well, you probably won’t want to take this case, but we recently decided that Shawn should do a duet with this new upcoming artist. She agreed to it, but after the duet, she released new music. But it wasn’t hers. She stole Shawn’s music. But now it’s gotten into legal matters and…well Shaw was wondering if you would be the attorney for his case. He said that you are the best and he knows that he has a good chance at winning with you.”
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12 notes - Posted July 4, 2022
#4
City Of Love
City of Love (Personal Assistant AU—Reversed Roles)
A/N: So, in this imagine, Shawn is Y/n’s personal assistant and Y/N is the popstar. Andrew is still her manager, but Brian is a girl, and his name is Brianna. Haha, hope you like it
Summary: Shawn is Y/N’s assistant and he’s head over heels for her. Does she feel the same for him?
Warnings: Swear Words
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            There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that Shawn was in love with the Y/N L/N. It was a known fact. The team knew, the fans knew it, hell even Y/N herself knew it. And it wasn’t like he tried to hide it either. Not in the loving glances he sent to her. Not in the long hugs he pulled her into at the end of her shows. Not in the soft kisses he planted on her forehead when she was feeling extra stressed. He was completely transparent.
            Y/N on the other hand was a different story. No one could really tell with her how she felt for him. And she did it on purpose. She couldn’t date her personal assistant. It would be too messy. Plus, he was her best friend. She couldn’t ruin that friendship for a relationship that might not even last.
So, when Shawn would give her those glances, she would roll her eyes at him and act oblivious. When he would pull her into those bear hugs, she would pat his back in a friendly way. And when he would kiss her on the forehead, she would brush it off as a kind act.
She was chastised by her friends, her team, and her family. “You can’t keep letting him wander around you like a lovesick puppy. Just put poor Shawn out of his misery. You have to tell him that you don’t feel that way about him.”
But she did feel that way about him. She just couldn’t. And she knew it was wrong to lead him on like she was, but she couldn’t do anything. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him in any way that she could get. And if that was just as a best friend/personal assistant then that was how it would have to be. And it wasn’t like he had ever told her about his true feelings for her. He had never actually said the words “I love you in more than a platonic way.” So, until that happened, she was perfectly fine with the way their relationship was.
*****
Shawn was mesmerized with the way she sung to the crowd so passionately. It honestly put him in a daze. “You’re so whipped,” Brianna laughed.
“Shut up,” he blushed. “If only I knew she felt the same. Does your best friend really have to be the most confusing women on this planet?”             “I ask myself the same question every day. I’m not even sure how she feels about you. She hasn’t ever come out and explicitly said she likes or dislikes you. It’s almost like she doesn’t know if she should like you or not. She’s undecided. It’s weird and so unlike her. You know her probably better than me. You spend more time with her. She’s never indecisive. She always seems to know what she wants. It’s only when it comes to you that she doesn’t. I can’t tell if it’s a good or a bad thing.”
Shawn sighed. “Somedays I wonder if she even wants me here. And then others, it’s like I’m the only person that exists to her.”
Y/N finished her last song and came running off the stage. Shawn pulled her into one of his famous hugs while she patted his back. “You were amazing! Not that I don’t think every show is fantastic, but I think this one is your best one yet!”
“You say that every night,” she chuckled.
“Cause it’s true! It gets better every time you preform.”
She pulled away from the hug. “You’re only saying that because I am your boss.”
And there she went ruining a sweet moment. She always had to bring up her job around him and frankly it hurt his feelings. She was more than just his boss to him. She was his confidant, the person who knew him better than anyone else, the person who helped him through his anxiety.
She didn’t seem to notice the shift in his demeanor as Andrew patted her on the shoulder congratulating her. Brianna sent him a sympathetic smile and rubbed his arm.
This small gesture caught Y/N’s attention from the corner of her eye. She felt a small pang of jealously go through her, but it faded quickly when Shawn turned back to her and sent her one of his signature smiles.
*****
After showering and getting back on the tour bus, Y/N headed for the back of the bus towards her room. They were going to Paris the next day, the city of love. It had always been on Y/N’s bucket list to go there, but they had skipped it her last tour. To say she was excited was an understatement. She had even convinced Andrew to give them three extra days after her show in Paris for her and the team to explore. Andrew obliged even though everyone knew that he secretly wanted to explore France just as much as the rest of them.
“Knock, knock,” Shawn said outside her door.
“Come in.” She was laying on her bed reading a book in her sweatpants and one of Shawn’s old band t-shirts. And that was another thing that confused Shawn. She and Shawn would often sleep in the same bed together because they both enjoyed the comfort. Occasionally Shawn would lend her his shirts (which he thought she looked adorable in), and she would willingly accept. Which probably wasn’t an odd thing for best friends to do, but she rarely gave them back which pulled on Shawn’s heartstrings, making him think that maybe he had a chance.
She glanced up at him and felt her heart stop. He was shirtless, which wasn’t a new thing for her. But damn did he look fine tonight. His hair was a tousled mess, and it was so extremely attractive to her. She tried to hide her infatuation by glancing back down at her book, but she couldn’t focus on the words.
“Are you going to stay the night in here,” She asked him to try to seem nonchalant.
“Obviously! We still have that season of the bachelorette to finish! I’m so excited to see who she’s going to choose.”
Y/N shook her head at him. “And to think that three months ago you thought this show was obnoxious.” She thought it was sweet that he wanted to watch something with her.
“Hey, once it gets started it’s actually kind of entertaining. But at first glance it doesn’t seem that way.”
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16 notes - Posted November 9, 2022
#3
Doubts
Summary: Y/N and Shawn both have big dreams, but what happens when those dreams interfere with the other person’s?
Warnings: None
Part 2
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Y/N was a hardworking and talented woman. She longed to be a lawyer, and no one was going to stop her from doing just that. It took her years to finally get off Harvard’s wait list and get accepted into the college. After that, it had been a long and grueling process to get to where she was; an intern for one of the best law firms in the world.  
Along with working hard came distance from her friends and family. She struggled to keep in contact while she studied for many hours a day. However, there was one person who was relentless and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cut ties with him.  
Shawn Mendes was her amazing loving boyfriend whom she had tried to break up with at least five times during the span of her law school days. He refused to let her. He knew the only reason she was breaking up with him—or at least trying to—was because she felt bad that she couldn’t spend lots of time with him.  
Not only was their relationship strained because of her job, but Shawn was an international rock star! But he made time for Y/N. She was his top priority, even above music. Because he felt it in his heart that she was the one. And so, whenever she tried to break up with him, he told her that he would quit his music if she did. Because honestly and truly, his music was worth nothing if she wasn’t a part of his life.  
So, with all the sacrifices Shawn was making came a frustrated manager, a loss of fans, and an increase of hate comments left on his social media accounts. To say Shawn was struggling was an understatement. And that was part of the reason why Y/N wanted to break up with him.  
Regardless, Shawn wouldn’t let her. He was getting exhausted though. He just wanted to know for sure that Y/N wasn’t going to pull her bullshit “breaking up with him” spiel again. He was agitated because he felt like he was putting more into the relationship, which really sucked for him because he was making a lot of sacrifices for her.  
Y/N did love Shawn, but it was really hard for her to focus on him and her career at the same time. And to top it all off, she knew she wasn’t good enough for him. He was a household name, and she was just some law student hoping that something would come out of her internship.  
Because of these things, their relationship had been strained. Y/N found it easier to stop going to Shawn’s house after work to avoid the arguments, while Shawn would just end up going to her house instead where the fight would ensue.  
It was always sharp jabs thrown at each other, nothing too serious. Until one day when Shawn had been yelled at by his manager for showing up late for the studio again. Truth be told, he was trying to fix Y/N breakfast to apologize for the fight they had had the night before. Unfortunately, this only added to Shawn’s stress.  
He was fighting so hard for their relationship, but Y/N seemed like she wanted to give up. She said she was ‘tired,’ and that she ‘couldn’t keep fighting anymore.’ And while Shawn understood her reasoning, he was fighting for her with everything in him.  
After being yelled at by Andrew, he got an unexpected call from Brian asking if he was still up for getting drinks that night. And as much as Shawn wanted to accept, he knew that he needed to fix his relationship first.  
He knew Y/N cared about him and really did want to be with him, but she was damaging their relationship by not trying to put Shawn first. And at this point, he was sick of it. He loved, he really did, but it was becoming too hard for him. He needed to confront her and communicate the way he felt to her.  
But when he arrived at her house that night to visit her, he didn’t expect to see a nice dinner made and her table set for two.  
“Surprise!” She greeted him in the kitchen, her hair tied in a bun at the top of her head. She had an apron on and flour coated her face. “I thought I would make us some dinner. We both need some quality time with each other.”  
Shawn smiled sweetly at her. It was moments like this that made him fight for her. “This is wonderful darling. Thank you so much!” He kissed her on the head and helped her finish off dinner.  
*** 
“So, Shawn as much as I love to cook for you, I actually invited you over tonight to tell you about how I got the job!”  
Ah yes, the job. The one she had been wanting for a year now. The one that made Shawn release the album four months late because he was so busy chasing her all around the country so she could get the job. He had sacrificed just as much, if not more for her job than she had.  
“Hmm,” he wanted to be happy for her, he truly did.  
But he also wanted to settle down and start a family and it was proving to be very difficult to do so when his girlfriend wasn’t around for more than five hours of the day. How was he supposed to find a time to propose to her in the chaos of it all?!  
He had brought the ring everywhere with him since he got it, which was five months ago. And every time he got close to her proposing, she seemed to always have to take a call or run into the office. It was infuriating.  
He knew he wasn’t perfect, and he also wasn’t around a lot, but he was around more than she was and that was saying something because his job was a lot more tasking than hers, truth be told.  
“That’s great darling,” he said. He tried to make it sound exciting, but he was also hiding a lot of disappointment. He was hoping she wasn’t going to get the job. She was very ambitious, and he loved her for that, but her having this job meant that they would spend even more time apart.  
“You’re not happy. You’re disappointed,” she said nervously. She had been on edge and didn’t want to tell him about her job because she had suspected this reaction. He was exhausted and she understood that. He didn’t want to keep chasing her around and she also understood that. But couldn’t he at least be happy for her, or at least pretend to?  
“No, honey I’m not. It’s just that…well I didn’t want to spoil the surprise, but I’m going on tour again and I was hoping you would come with me. But with this new job…it’s just…. never mind.” He sighed defeatedly.  
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18 notes - Posted May 18, 2022
#2
Mother’s Day
Summary: Mother’s Day is coming and reader and Shawn find out some exciting news
Warnings: None
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“Shawn…I know we were planning on just relaxing for this week, but I really feel like we should go see your parents,” Y/N said, sitting down on the couch next to her husband of two months. He wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer into him, inhaling her sweet scent.  
“Hmm, what about your parents?” 
“We saw them last week. Plus, it’s Mother’s Day and we haven’t seen them since the wedding. I mean I know we’re in LA and they’re all the way in Canada, but I think we should go see them. And besides, don’t you want to see Liyah?”  
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he sighed resting his head on her neck and pressing gentle kisses to her shoulder. “I’ll book plane tickets tonight then. When do you want to leave?”  
“Well maybe we should talk to them first and make sure they don’t have anything going on,” She chuckled at her husband’s excitement.  
“Sure, I’ll call them right now.” Shawn pulled away from his wife’s touch and grabbed his phone from his pocket. He hit the call button on his dad’s contact.  
Manny picked up right away. “Hey dad! How’s it going?” Shawn put the phone on speaker and rested it on the coffee table, snaking his arms around his wife again.  
“What’s up son? It’s been a minute since you’ve called me, bud. How are you and Y/N?” 
“Hey Manny,” Y/N said, “We’re doing great! Your son is the best husband I could’ve ever asked for.” She felt Shawn lightly pinch her side in a teasing way.  
“I’m glad to hear that. What’re you guys up to?” 
“What are you and mom planning on doing for Mother’s Day? We want to fly out to see you guys!” 
“You’re kidding! You guys are flying out this week to see us?!” 
Y/N giggled. “I told you it was the right decision to make.” 
“Of course, it was Y/N’s idea. You always have perfect timing. We were actually thinking about flying out to see you guys, but if you want to come here, that would be great! When are you planning on getting here?” 
“Hmm well we want to be there for Mother’s Day so maybe we’ll fly out Thursday night and get there Friday morning?” Shawn looked to his wife to make sure she was okay with that.  
“Yeah, that sounds good,” she said.  
“I agree,” Manny said. “Alright well I’ll talk to you kids tomorrow and figure out the details. Love you!” 
“Love you too,” Y/N and Shawn said in unison.  
Shawn hung up the phone and laid his head down on the couch, pulling Y/N with him. She fell on top of him as they both giggled, staring into each other’s eyes passionately.  
*** 
            The next morning woke up with a stomachache. She ran to the toilet and threw up, Shawn quickly followed after her and held her hair back. He knelt next to her pulling her against his chest once she had finished.  
“Babe, you’ve been throwing up a lot lately. Do you think…maybe that you’re pregnant?”  
Shawn and Y/N had been trying to get pregnant since their wedding night, but they hadn’t had any luck. It had only been two months and they weren’t expecting to get pregnant right away, but with the amount of times Y/N had thrown up in the last week, it led Shawn to believe that maybe she was.  
“I…probably. If not, then something’s really wrong with me. So, we should just go get a few tests then.”  
“No, no babe you stay here. I’ll go get them. Let me run you a bath.”  
“You really don’t have to do that Shawn.” 
“I know, but I want to. C’mere, let me braid your hair.” He gently braided her hair down her back and started the bath for her. He added a lavender bath bomb to it and then kissed her lips a few times before pulling back.  
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50 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
The Five Senses of Falling in Love
Summary: Shawn falls completely in love with the reader
Warnings: None
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Sight: 
It was the first celebrity party he had been invited to and he didn't have a clue how to talk to anyone. He was so star struck by everyone in the room his brain couldn't even begin to process how to start a conversation. He was only a 16-year-old boy for heaven's sakes. He didn't belong with these people. Or at least he felt like he didn't. 
She also happened to be 16, but this was not her first celebrity party. In fact, she had been going to these for years. She had gotten famous at the age of 12 when she went on America's Got Talent and won for her amazing singing. She was then recruited by a record label. She wrote two albums and then started her career as an actor. She was possibly the most famous teen of the decade. 
She had seen him from across the room and instantly blushed. He looked handsome in his black leather jacket, white t-shirt, and black pants. She couldn't deny that she had a little bit of a crush on him. So, when she saw him standing awkwardly in the corner biting his lips, she took the opportunity to talk to him. 
Shawn knew who she was. Of course he did! She was one of his biggest idols. But seeing her in person turned him speechless. He didn't know such beauty could exist in the world. His TV and photos could never do her justice. And when he saw her walking over to him, he panicked and started to walk in the direction of the bathroom until he tripped over his own two feet right in front of her. 
"Are you okay?" She had asked reaching out her hand to help him up. 
His breathing was shallow as he took it and stood up from the floor. "Thanks, and yeah, I'm okay." 
"Is this your first celeb party?" 
Shawn nodded shyly. "Is it really that obvious." 
She shook her head. "No, not really. You just look exactly like how I felt when I went to my first party. It's super nerve-wracking especially when you don't know anyone in the industry and don't want to get involved with the wrong people." "Yeah I think I've already made a fool out of myself, and I've barely even spoken." 
"Don't worry, it's normal to feel like that. I still feel like that sometimes. It's our ego that makes us feel this way, you know. When you first walk into the party you feel on top of the world, like nothing can bring you down. You think you're the coolest person here because you got invited to a celebrity party. And then the first two minutes pass, and if they don't go bad, then something is definitely wrong. 
"And then you realize that you're just a normal person with normal people who just so happened to get some of the same opportunities. But seriously, there are some people who walk around here that they are better than you when you are literally at the same party as them and you're famous, just like them. 
"Sorry, did I overwhelm you," and she sent him the most drop-dead gorgeous smile he had ever seen. 
*** 
Sound: 
Y/N and Shawn ended up talking the whole rest of the party and the night ended in them exchanging numbers and promising to hang out again soon. After that night, they became as close as any two people could become. 
Y/N took Shawn on tour with her as her opening act and it allowed them to become infinitely closer to each other. 
It was the first show of Y/N's world tour and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He really wanted to impress her and her fans, but he was worried that he wasn't good enough to be performing at a Y/N L/N concert! 
At his five-minute call time he exited his dressing room and made his way to the stage entrance. "Alright Shawn, you've done lots of performances before. This is nothing different. You're going to do fantastic!" His manager, Andrew, encouraged him. 
Shawn nodded his head, unable to speak. He feared that if he did, he would vomit all over the ground. He longed for his mother to embrace him and whisper into his ear that he was her 'special boy.' Her words always brought comfort to him. 
He heard feet pounding against the floor behind him and when he turned around, he saw Y/N hurtling towards him full speed. When she reached him, she threw her arms around his neck wrapping him in a bear hug. 
"You're going to do amazing out there. You're so talented and you know it. And that's all you have to do, prove to yourself that you can do this. You don't have to prove anything to me or anyone out there. We already see your potential or else you wouldn't be here. I know how it feels to think that you're not good enough, but once you let your guard down, you realize 'yeah, I'm just a human who loves music and I'm doing what I love.'" 
"Shawn, one minute until you're on stage!" 
The sound of screaming increased out in the crowd and Shawn felt his breathing quicken again. Y/N grabbed him by the shoulders and forced him to look at her. 
"Hey, hey. Just listen to my voice. Match your breathing to mine. Just breathe. In....out....in....out," and Shawn slowly felt his heart rate slow down listening to the beautiful sound of her voice. 
Touch: 
It had been a few years since Y/N and Shawn went on tour together, but they were still as close as peas in a pod. They didn't see each other as much as they used to anymore, but they tried to keep in contact as best as they could. 
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60 notes - Posted May 8, 2022
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brianc521 · 3 years
Text
Flannel | Brian Craigen
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It’s cold, that’s all she knows at this moment as she blinks her eyes open. Really cold. She blinks a few more times, trying to get the heavy weight in each eyelid to lessen just enough to hold them up and open. Once she’s successful she does a mental checklist about her surroundings. 
Blue plaid comforter, light blue sheets, arm under her head, plain white walls, bedside table with a picture of her in a frame next to two phones and a watch. She’s at Brians, and he’s stolen all the blankets. Leaving her cold and smiling at how her sleepy boy looks.
He’s shirtless, and curled into the blankets like a little kid with their boppy. His lashes are fluttering on his cheeks, making him look so peaceful and almost childlike with innocence. She leans over to reach for her phone, that’s buzzing and playing ‘Location’ by Khalid softly. He gives her a hard time for that being her alarm sound but her argument is;
“Why would you want to wake up to something so loud and obnoxious when you can wake to the soft soothing sounds of Khalid?”
Turning her alarm off she kisses each of Brian's eyelids softly to ensure he’s still having good dreams.  
She didn’t mean to spend the night, but he’d had a headache the night prior and she’d come over after work to take care of her boy. He needed a little tender loving care and she was more than willing considering he does the same to her on the daily. 
She sneakily slips out of bed, making sure to put a pillow on his outstretched arm that way when he goes to cuddle in he’ll have something to hold.
On the way to the bathroom she grabs her jeans from the day before, her bra and cami tank top. She makes sure to shut the bathroom door in the slowest, softest way she can. She goes about using the toilet, washing her hands (spread love not germs, her work’s motto), brush her teeth, swipe on some mascara, and put her hair in a suitable ponytail for the day. After dressing she makes her way to his closet and reaches for one of his white shirts, smiling at the promise he made the night before that she could borrow one if it meant she would stay with him for the night. 
It’s then her eyes land on the fateful flannel shirt hung up in his closet. He’s been wearing it more often now that it’s getting a bit colder outside. He claims that it’s not cold enough for big heavy coats, but just chilly enough for something extra to wear. All she knows is that he makes it look so snuggly and cozy and most of the time she just wants to cuddle into it. 
She goes to reach for it, and then suddenly remembers she’s not reaching into her closet. She looks back over her shoulder at the sleeping boy and sighs. Maybe she could just steal it for the day, would he even notice? Probably, she thinks to herself, he’s having lunch with Connor and Shawn, he’ll want to wear it. But she really wants it this morning. 
She fights herself, but before she can really truly say no to herself she’s crouching beside him. Reaching out and softly caressing his face, she thumbs over the dotted freckles on his cheek. He hums a little, leaning closer into her hand, his lips even twitch in a smile.
“Baby,” She whispers, tapping her thumb softly a few times.
She gets a grunt in return, and giggles a little because the roles are usually reversed here. She’s the grumpy one in the morning, and he’s the cheery one. 
“Baby,” She says again, already feeling bad for waking him.
“Hmm?” He asks, breathing deeply in his sleepy state. 
“Can I borrow your blue flannel today?” She whispers. 
It’s almost three beats before he answers and she’s trying to hide her happy smile at how cute he is. 
“Gimme a kiss and it’s yours.” His voice is raspy, so thickly lined with sleep that she struggles to not want to fall right back into the warm bed with him. 
Leaning forward she plants a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and quickly gets up to grab the flannel. If she wants to stop to get coffee before her shift starts she needs to leave within minutes. She turns quickly at groaning and the dramatic act of a hand pushing out of the heap of blankets making grabby motions at her. 
She giggles again, thinking back to a time when she never once giggled at anything, and goes to him. “Bye Baby, I love you, have a wonderful day.” She leans down and kisses him, smiling against his lips. 
She grabs her purse and softly walks out of his room, making sure to shut the door behind her. Once out in his living room she slips her shoes on, reaches for a muffin on the counter and quickly scribbles out a note. 
‘Thanks again for the flannel. I think Sleepy Brian is my new favorite Brian. I love you!’ 
Before rushing out into the cold, hoping to get to her car before the cool bite of the morning catches her. Driving away she smiles at the thought that her boy is safely tucked into his bed, dreaming the morning away.
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brashierc · 5 years
Text
Baby Brash
July 13th, his 20th birthday. That night was the reason why you were here today. If that night wouldn’t have happened you wouldn’t have peed on a stick this morning, it wouldn’t have been positive and you wouldn’t be sitting on the bed at your OBGYN’s clinic awaiting for her results. 
You’ve been best friends with Connor since you both were 7. That was 13 years of friendship. 13 years of listening to him go on about photography, 13 years of supporting him and his dreams no one else really supported when he first got started in high school. 
It was also 13 years of being asked how long you two had been in a relationship. 
Girls and boys can be best friends without falling in love. Or well, that’s what you always said to everyone when they asked. You’d been in love with Connor since you were 17, but you knew he’d never feel the same, so you kept that feeling pushed way back into your brain.
Connor was there for you through every boyfriend, just like you were for his girlfriends. The heartbreak and the first time discussions after the fact. 
“Alright,” The Doctor walks in after tapping on the wooden door with her knuckle twice. “So your positive was correct, you are pregnant.” 
You sighed, shoulders sinking. “Really?” 
“Yep, really really pregnant.” She smiles, handing you a few brochures. “Let’s go over your options.” 
You look up with wide eyes, horror running through your veins and emotions. 
“Let’s not, thanks Doc, but I’m already attached to this kid, and if you knew the Dad you would be too.” 
She smiles, nodding but telling you to take the brochures just in case. 
She refers you to one of her colleagues who’s an Obstetrician with her practice and can take you through your pregnancy and birth. 
You take the information she gave you and leave with a small smile and a polite wave goodbye to her front office receptionist. Once you’re back in your car you let the new totally settle in. 
You were having a baby, with Connor, at age 19 and 20. Super cool. 
On Connor’s birthday everything went a little crazy. Shawn threw a rager, wanting to celebrate his newest addition to his team, and his friend who was turning the big 2 0. He flew you out to where they were so you could be there to celebrate and surprise Connor.
Everyone went a little crazy, everyone. 
Brian was so blacked out that he took Alessia back to his room with him, forgot that he invited her in, and called Shawn from the bathroom freaking out that she’d followed him home. (Even though we were all in the same hotel) 
Shawn was the only one that didn’t go hard. Knowing he had shows and other obligations like filming music videos and meeting up with Chance the Rapper. He supervised, and not well, but had a blast watching everyone be stupid and make fools of themselves. 
Connor was a clingy needy drunk, so throughout the night he just became more and more glued to your side. He hadn’t seen you in months, and missed you so much. It all started when he wanted to dance to the slow songs with you, hands on your hips, holding you close. You fell into his embrace, missing being held in such a way, and feeling so safe with Connor. He planted a few kisses to your neck, and one just behind your ear learning very quickly that that was your weak spot. 
After you let out a shaky moan of his name, tucking your fingers into his hair, you were a goner. You both quickly found your way back to his room, falling on the bed nakedly exploring the other between the sheets. 
By morning? You both swore to never speak of it again, pretend like nothing happened, and move on. Everything was normal, it literally was like nothing happened. He still picked on you, you still gave him shit in front of the guys, but you both were still there for the other in ways no one else could be. 
You clicked on his contact; ‘Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash” 
Brian really changed Connor’s name in your phone to the best thing you’d ever seen, you wouldn’t dare change it. 
“Whattup?” He answered on the third ring, and suddenly, you’re emotional. 
“Hey,” You choke out, looking around trying to distract your brain.
“What’s wrong?” His side of the phone shuffles, and becomes marginally quieter.
“Nothing,” You whisper, “What are you doing?”
“I’m talking to you, tell me what’s wrong?” 
“It’s nothing Con.” 
“You’re upset though, I can hear it.” 
“When do you come home again?” 
“I come home next week, I have to meet my counselor and then register for classes. I get into town on Monday, and I leave Friday.” 
You nod, knowing full well he can’t see you. “Can we meet on Monday?”
You need to tell him, and you won’t keep this a secret from him longer than you have too.
“Um yeah, I fly in at like 8, wanna meet for coffee and breakfast or something?” 
“Yeah perfect.” 
“Okay…..? Ready to tell me what’s wrong yet?” He asks.
You sigh, “I should let you go, you’re probably busy.” 
“No, hey,” He protests. “I wanna talk, I miss you.” 
You smile, insides running warm when you hear his voice say those words. “I miss you too Baby Brash.” 
You can hear him sigh and you can practically see him rolling his eyes. “So you watched the newest video?” 
“Of course I did, got your post notifications on.” 
“No you don’t.”
“No you’re right, I don’t, I have Shawn’s on.” 
At this he laughs, like a snort and everything and it makes you feel good, to be able to get him to laugh like that again, to hear that laugh. 
“Brashier, we gotta go!” Brian yells at him in the background.
“You’re literally standing behind me, why you gotta yell?” 
“Because I felt like pissing you off.” Brian snickers. “Who you on the phone with? Gots a girlyfriend?” Something must happen on Connor’s side of the phone because suddenly all you can hear is boys yelling. 
“Connor that’s the fourth girl you’ve been on the phone with today!” 
“There is no hot sex going on over here!”
“PASS THE WEED MAN!” 
“Shut the fuck up!” Connor’s voice is back, “Jesus it’s just Y/n, could you…?” 
“But we wanna say hi!” Shawn and Brian whine. 
You giggle and blush a little at the attention. 
Connor shuffles the phone, and then you can barely hear him, he’s really muffled but you make it out. “She’s upset about something, so could you fucking leave for a minute. I was getting her to talk and then you fuckers walked in.” A few seconds later and he’s back crystal clear. “Okay they left, you still there Honey?” 
“You didn’t need to kick them out.” 
“But I wanna talk to you.” 
“They just wanted to say hi.” 
“But you’re my best friend.” He whines, “They’d steal all your attention.” 
“You need to go, I’ll see you next week okay?” 
“Okay, love you kid.” He says softly.
“Love you too Brash.” 
**
He walks in, looking all nerdy cute, face down into his phone. 
iMessage from Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash: Im here where u is
“If you ever looked up from your phone you’d know I’m here too Bitch.” You say from your table, laughing when he jumps and looks over at you. 
“You scared the shit out of me.” He laughs, smiling really wide when you stand and give him a big hug. “Fuck I missed you Kid.” He sighs into your neck, letting your scent relax his stressed out mind.
“Missed you too.” 
 He takes the seat across from you, thanking you for the coffee you already had ordered and sat in front of his seat on the table. He takes a sip as you take a deep breath and shut your eyes to give yourself that last push of encouragement. 
“Connor?” 
“Yeah?” 
“I’m pregnant.” You blurt. 
It’s then that you realize your eyes are still closed, opening them one at a time to see his reaction. It’s comical almost, the sight of him, jaw dropped, eyes bugging, body frozen. 
You give it a moment, a second to really settle into his brain, you needed to do the same when you found out. Hell, you’re still doing that. 
He clears his throat, shakes his head a bit, but his eyes continue to flare out at you. 
“Excuse me?” He croaks. 
“I’m pregnant,” You nod, watching him nod with you. “And it’s yours.” 
He hums, and continues to stare at you. You take a sip of your decaf coffee, wincing at the weird taste. 
“Fuck man, I don’t know if I can handle 9 months of decaf, that shit is gross as hell.” 
This seems to snap Connor out of whatever daze he was in. 
“You’re being real right now?” He looks around, “Is Brian here filming me? Is this a prank or something? You got me, you got my reaction, turn it off now.” 
You sigh, worried he would think something like that. You just sit there, staring at him.
“You’re being real?!?” He says with persistence in his voice, leaning closer to you. 
“That night we swore to never speak of again? Well, we’ll be talking for at least the next 18 years.” You shrug.
He’s still in shock, just staring at you with a glazed over glance. You just nod and smile a little at him, trying to coax him through his shock.
“I-” He gapes, “Um, we...I...condom!” 
You giggle, shaking your head at him while rolling your eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re gonna do? Blurt ‘condom’ out like it’ll fix everything?” 
“But I used one!” He’s becoming defensive. Snapping at you in ways he’s done in the past when he’s stressed to the brim and can’t control his emotions. You can count the amount of times snapped at you on one hand. 
“They’re only 98% effective, if that, Connor. Or maybe it broke or something. It happened, and I’m pregnant.” 
“No! We can’t, a baby?” 
You take a deep breath, trying to tell yourself that he’s just in shock and that he’s gonna be happy about this, someday. He doesn’t mean the way he’s reacting right now. 
“How are you calm right now?” He asks in shrill. 
“I don’t know Connor, life happens. It’s not perfect but we’ll figure it out.” You shrug, raising your voice a little to match his level.
“Fucking shit,” He tugs at his hair, face grimancing as he groans. 
You sigh, grabbing your purse, collecting your phone and coffee and stand to leave. His head whips up when you stand, and he watches as you straighten out your shorts before starting to walk away.
“No, don’t go.” He pleads.
“Talk to me when this settles Connor. I can’t be here to watch you freak out. My hormones are all sorts of fucked up right now and I’m trying to stay positive about this whole thing but your reaction isn’t helping.” 
He gets up and follows you out of the coffee shop, racing to meet you at your car before you can leave. 
“Wait, talk to me, please.” He blocks your door so you can’t close it. 
You look up, tears in your eyes that tear his heart apart. “We really did turn into Ross and Rachel huh? Just like everyone said throughout high school. Except we won’t end up together, we’ll always be the Ross and Rachel before they got together.” 
He shakes his head, “I’m your lobster.”
**
Connor sits on your couch three days later. This was the first chance he’d been able to actually come over, any other conversations have been over the phone or text message since your meeting at the coffee shop. 
It’s kind of awkward, the both of you sitting in silence as you try to not bring up the elephant in the room. 
“I’m sorry,” You clear your throat, wincing as you lean forward and start this conversation. “I’m sorry that I up and left you on Monday. That wasn’t cool. I dropped a big ass bomb on you, something we would have never expected in a million years, and then just got up and left you alone. My hormones are whacked out right now but that’s not an excuse. So I’m sorry for being a shitty friend and making you go through that shock alone.” 
“Hey,” He shakes his head, turning towards you on the couch, scooting closer. “Don’t be sorry. I was kind of being a jackass. I shouldn’t have flipped out like that.” 
You sigh, smiling up at him. “I missed you, a lot.” 
His hand falls on top of yours, fingers intertwining. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” He sighs, letting his eyes rake over you for a moment, imagining what you’ll look like with a baby bump. “How the hell am I supposed to leave for tour?” 
“Just go, I’m not due until May. You’ll be back in December, that’s plenty of time.” 
“You’re pregnant, I want to be here for appointments, picking out and setting up the crib, cravings, all of it!” 
You smile, reaching over and caressing his cheek. “Then talk to Shawn, sit down with Cez, explain it to Brian because he’ll lose his shit if you leave him without a solid reason behind it. We’ll figure it out, and make do.” You shrug.
He nods, leaning into your hand a little. “You always make everything better.” 
“That’s because I know you Connor David,” You tap his cheek twice, “I know how to handle you.” 
He grins, rolling his eyes before flopping back into the corner of your couch he’s claimed as his. “Have you told your mom yet?” He asks, throwing your fluffy white and black throw blanket over his lap. 
“No,” You sigh, kicking your feet up and relax across from him on your sectional. He smirks as you take a breath, reaching over and grabbing your feet to give you a foot massage. “What are you doing?” 
“Gotta get used to pampering you, might as well get a head start.” He murmurs. “Are you scared to tell your mom?”  
“I mean not really. It’s not the ideal situation I was hoping for when I thought about having kids. But like, I can’t complain. I’m honored to have your kid Con, I think I got lucky when it comes to the baby daddy part of this.” 
He tilts his head, looking over at you with a blush on his cheeks. 
“I guess you could say I got pretty lucky with the baby mama part.” He mutters, watching you from under his lashes, grinning when you roll your eyes and throw your head back to hide the apparent blush forming across your cheeks.
**
Your guest bedroom that once used to be your small library and office area has now been bombarded with camera gear, a full sized bed covered in basic grey sheets and a black comforter.
Connor spoke with Shawn and Cez the first chance he had when he got back to tour. He explained the situation, as awkward and unexpected it is, and expressed his need to be home more for you and his unborn child.
Both were very understanding to him and his needs, granting him a week off a month ensuring that he’d still be able to get enough footage but also time at home. It also gave Shawn and the crew a moment of peace and not having to worry about cameras so much, not that Connor is like the crazy paps. 
But now that Connor will be home once a month it made sense that he move into your spare room instead of having to stay with his parents or pay for a place he really wouldn’t see all that often. It was the perfect set up, to be there and help you when you need it. 
You two were still adjusting to living together, or with another human (of the different sex). 
You walked into the apartment from class, stopping short when the first thing you saw in your kitchen was Connor, in only his black Calvins.
“Bro,” You shield your eyes setting your backpack on your bar stool, “Can you wear pants?” 
Connor looks over at the sound of your voice, a slice of cheese between his fingers, munching on a bite. He looks down, and then back up to you holding a hand over your eyes. 
“I’m in boxers, I’m not naked.” 
“No one wants to see your dick though,” You shake your head, grinning as you say, “Been there, done that.” 
He chuckles, leaning closer to you and peeling your hands away from your eyes so you can see his smug smile. “You weren’t complaining then.” 
Your jaw drops and you blush as he raises an eyebrow at you. “Well,” You stutter, “I mean,” He smiles, getting the best reaction out of you. “Shut up, go put clothes on!” You smack his arm shooing him to his room. 
**
You both were getting really good and creative with ways to hiding your pregnancy. The only people who knew were the team, and family. Not even friends from your high school knew.
The issue with hiding this was the fact that Connor was gaining a lot of attention from Shawn’s fans. You didn’t blame them, no matter what brought them to become a fan of his, it at least brought more attention to his work and was getting him that much more popular. This just meant that you had to take hiding your pregnancy to a whole new level.
For a while you were able to just wear some big sweatshirts to cover the smallest bump you had. When sweatshirts weren’t able to work so much you then resorted to really flowy shirts and a big purse you could always swing in front of your belly. 
There was even one time that Connor and the whole crew were in town. They had invited you to lunch since no one had seen you since Connor told everyone. But at the end of lunch the manager came to tell the group that the paparazzi had followed Shawn and his own lunch date. 
You were panicked while everyone just rolled their eyes and grumbled about how someone had probably called them so pictures of Shawn and his date could be taken. You looked to Connor and gulped as he laughed with Brian about a meme he was showing him. 
“Y/n, you okay?” Shawn asked from across the table.
He was always so kind, and it boggled your mind how he could always see everyone, even when there were thousands in front of him, he could see everyone and notice every mood change.
Connor looked over after Shawn’s question and noticed your worried expression.
“Um, I’m,” You looked down at your shirt that very clearly showed off your small baby bump. “We haven’t told-”
“Oh shit,” Connor mumbled now noticing what you were referring too. “Fuck they’re gonna get pictures of us.” He looked to Shawn.
“I totally forgot,” Shawn rubs his forehead. “I’m so sorry you guys.” 
“Do you have anything to like hide behind?” Brian asked.
“No, I didn’t bring a jacket because it’s so nice out.” You shake your head. 
“Actually,” Connor cringes, looking at Josiah. “Do you still have your pocket reflector?” 
Josiah nods, handing it to Connor. 
“We’ll head out first, and then you guys go with Brian and maybe they’ll won’t pay you much attention. We’ll take a walk down the block or something.” Shawn stands, giving you an apologetic smile before walking out with his date.
You look to Connor and Brian as Connor is unfolding the reflector that creates a decent sized circle. You just laugh out loud when he offers it to you. 
“What?” He asks.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” You laugh taking it from him. “It definitely doesn’t look like I’m hiding anything.” You’re sarcastic tone makes the boys chuckle. 
“Here,” Brian hands Connor an old disposable camera. “Pretend like you’re taking my picture as we walk to the car so it looks like she’s actually using it.” 
You just laugh harder and so do the boys at this elaborate plan to cover your pregnant belly. 
** 
At 5 months your little one is now starting to move. You’re really uncomfortable at the moment, in the stages of dealing with pregnancy and the symptoms. 
Tonight is no different, if anything, it’s worse. Baby Brash (literally) has the hiccups and it’s causing your belly to move every 30 seconds or so. So sleeping at the moment isn’t a reality. Finding a comfortable spot to fall asleep isn’t a reality either.
iMessage from Papa 👶: Stop moving, I can hear your bed springs, lord help our child when you get laid.
You rolled your eyes at Connor’s message. He changed his name in your phone when he finally saw what you had him under. He even changed your name in his phone to ‘Mama 👶’ with the baby emoji. 
iMessage to Papa👶 : Tell your child to stop moving so much then
You watched as he read the message, but frowned a little when he didn’t start responding. You jumped when your bedroom door creaked open, revealing Connor in a worn white t shirt and plaid pajama pants. 
“Hey you,” He crawls into your bed, shuffling under your covers with you. “Hey Kid,” He smiles, leaning down to plant a small kiss to your belly. “Stop moving in there so Mama can go to sleep. She’s keeping me up because you’re keeping her up.”
You roll your eyes again, glaring at him. “Really?”
“You told me to tell the kid.” He shrugs. 
His hands have found their way to your belly, rubbing soothing circles in hopes of calming his baby down and lulling you to sleep. 
You sigh and let your eyes flutter close.
“What hurts tonight?” He whispers.
“My hips and back.” 
“Roll to your side for me.” 
You do as told, and moan a little when he starts massaging at your tender hips. Your lower back is so tired and your hips are sore. 
He keeps rubbing and tracing designs on your skin until your breathing evens out. He rolls away a little to go back to his room before your rolling towards him, and resting your head on his chest.
“Don’t go.” You whine.
**
His whole life flashed before his eyes when he got the call. His whole life. 
That’s the only words running through his mind. 
His whole life.
“What did she say?” Brian as he drove to the airport. 
“She said that she was being transported to the hospital and because she’s pregnant they wanted to take her in for more testing just to double check that everything was okay.” 
“And what happened again?” 
“She was driving home from work, her light went green and she proceeded through the intersection when some dipshit in a fucking truck ran the red and hit the back of her car, sounds like it’s totaled but luckily he just hit her trunk, so she wasn’t hurt to much.” 
“She’s okay though right?” Brian asked again.
“As far as I know, but I’ll keep you updated. Just tell everyone else for me okay?” 
“Of course man. Just go take care of her and that Baby.” 
Connor takes a shaky breath as he looks out the window. 
“Connor,” Brian said, surprising him by using his full name. “You need to breathe.” 
“My whole life was in that car Brian, my whole life was sitting in the driver's seat of that car, and-” 
“You need to breathe Connor.” 
“I’m trying!” He snaps at Brian, “But I’m freaking out! My girl and our baby were in an accident today and I’m not there with them! So please forgive me if I’m a little scared and panicked.” 
“I know you are, you just gotta stay calm. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.” 
“You really need to stop doing that weird fucking yoga thing with Shawn. It’s changing you man.” Connor jokes, trying to lighten his own mood. 
**
By the time Connor’s landed you’re already home and resting. He bursts into the apartment like a bat out of hell, slamming the door and flipping the lock before throwing his bag to the ground and racing to your room.
“Jesus, be a little louder why don’t you.” You comment when he falls into your room.
“Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Is our Bean okay?” He throws himself onto your bed, hands instantly searching for your ever growing bump.
“We’re okay.” You whisper, threading your fingers through his hair to calm him down. “I told you we were fine and that you didn’t need to come home.”
“Right,” He scoffs. “Like I was just gonna stay miles away from you after you’ve been in an accident.” 
“But we’re okay! You’re parents, my parents, our siblings, everyone was there with me. Really we’re okay.” 
“Okay, okay.” He nods, laying down with his head beside your big belly, rubbing and tapping at it, smiling when he feels a few kicks. “My Bean is kicking?” He looks up at you.
“Yeah, has been for a week or so.” 
“Why didn’t you say so?” 
“Well,” You frown, looking away. “To be honest I planned on pretending that the first time Bean kicked when you were home next was the first time so you didn’t feel like you were missing out on anything.” 
Connor smiles at you, shaking his head and leaning up to plant a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for planning to lie to me.” 
You giggle, before shifting to sit up more. You reach for the papers on your bedside table and hand them to Connor.
“What’s this?” He asks, looking down. His face falls, frown dropping his lips eyes looking up at you. “What is this? Why are you handing me this?”
“I think we need to talk about it.” You shrug.
“Not right now.” 
“Connor this is serious, it’s not just us anymore. We’re having a kid, we need to have a Will drawn up.” 
“I understand that, but I don’t wanna talk about it right now.” 
“Connor, in the event that something happens to one of us, we need to know what the other wants.” 
“Stop, stop, stop talkin’ like that!” 
“Connor,” 
“Please,” He tugs at his hair, “Please not right now. I understand we need to know, I get that and we’ll have it drawn up but I don’t want to talk about it right now. All my nightmares came true today.” He looks at you with sad eyes. “I haven’t told you this, but lately I’ve been having a few nightmares that something happens to you and our Bean, and I’m not there to help you or protect you.” He shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut. “And that happened to me today. You both were in an accident, and I wasn’t here.” 
“Connor,” You say again.
“I get it!” He snaps. “But I don’t like the thought of losing you okay? I’m fucking in love with you, and I don’t really have you, but I thought I lost you when I got that call. So can we stop talking like this for the day? Please? Please can you give my heart a moment?” 
You stare up at him with wide eyes, your heart rate picking up at his words. 
“You’re what?” You whisper, caressing his cheek.
“Huh?” 
“You’re in love with me?” 
His eyes go wide in panic now that he’s realized what he’s said.
“Are you being serious?”
“Yeah?” He nods.
“Why haven’t you said anything!” You slap his arm.
“I don’t know, you never-”
“I’ve been in love with you since Junior year!” You keep slapping his arm.
“Stop hitting me!” He grabs your hands, interlocking your fingers.
“You never said anything!” “Neither did you!” He responds.
**
Things were different now, you still hadn’t really said officially what you two were now, but it was this weird in between stage of best friend and boyfriend.
He would kiss you sometimes, and always hold your hand, he’d even let a few pet names slip, but when asked by others he still referred to you as his best friend. 
It confused you to no end, because now that something changed he’s moved into your room, claiming that he would just sneak in every night anyway, and now you had room for a nursery. 
“Babe?” He called from the nursery, seated criss cross on the ground, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for your response. “BABE?” 
“What?” You call back, walking down the hall to the laundry room.
“Can you bring me a water?” 
“Really? You can’t get it yourself?” 
“I’m building the crib!” 
“I’m doing your laundry!” You yell back, leaning against the dryer, rolling your eyes at his request.
“Please?” He asks softly. When you don’t respond he resorts to baby talk he knows you can’t resist. “Pweety Pwease? I’ll give you kisses.” 
You groan, waddling down the hall to the kitchen, grabbing him a cucumber mint flow from the fridge, and grabbing yourself a watermelon lime one. You make your way to the nursery, throwing him the water before taking a seat in the new rocking chair Shawn bought you guys.
“How you doing there Pretty Mama?” He smiles looking over at you. 
“I’m tired, and big.” You whine, looking down at your very pregnant belly.
“I think you look really pretty.” He blushes, looking back at the crib.
“You owe me kisses.” You pout.
“Do I?” He looks at you, “What if I was crossing my fingers?” 
You gasp, furrowing your brows and crossing your arms across your chest. “That’s so mean. You’re pregnant best friend just waddled her way to the kitchen and back to bring you your precious water and you won’t give her kisses like you promised?” 
He’s up on his knees crawling towards you. “Girlfriend.” He hums setting his hands on your thighs so he can lean closer.
“What?” 
“You mean my pregnant girlfriend.” He corrects you.
“Do I?” You asked softly, biting your lip as you stare into those blue eyes.
“I sure hope so.” He whispers.
“Is that what I am? Your girlfriend?” 
He pulls back a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean? I thought-”
“Yeah me too but then you told the guy at the baby shop that I was your best friend.” 
He sighs, hanging his head. “It’s so natural, or I don’t know, programmed in my head to introduce you that way. But I thought we turned into something more when we confessed.” 
“Me too, but when you did that it through me off.” 
“Babe,” He smiles, rubbing his hands up your legs, “We live together, we sleep in the same bed, we kiss, we love, we laugh, we fight, we’re pregnant.” He let’s his right hand wander to your belly. “I consider you my girlfriend. I hope you consider me your boyfriend.” 
“I do.” 
“So then why are you pouting?”
“Because I really want kisses.” 
“Oh my goodness.” He laughs, leaning forward to cover your lips with his own. He kisses you deeply, pecking your lips three more times before pulling away. “Better?”
“For now.” 
“Okay.” He laughs, shaking his head before going back to building the crib.
**
“Boyfriend?” You yell from the bedroom when you hear the door open.
“It’s Boyfriend and his friends!” Connor yells back. “Girlfriend?” 
“Yes?”
“Where are you?” 
You quickly finish tying the bow to his gift before making your way to the living room where Shawn and Brian are seated on the couch.
“Hey!” Shawn jumps up, giving you a hug before looking down to your belly. “Can I touch your belly?” 
You laugh a little, “Yeah go ahead, thank you for asking.” 
“Of course, it would be a little rude to just go ahead.” He says touching your belly. 
“Can you tell that to the rest of the world?” 
“Hey Bean!” Shawn says to your belly. “Uncle Shawn got you the coolest thing ever!” He says before running to the couch to show you a small guitar case. 
“Shawn you didn’t.”
“I couldn’t help myself, I was looking for a new one and saw this little thing.” He pops the case open. “I’ll teach Bean how to play and everything!” 
“There you are!” Connor smiles when he enters holding three beers and your favorite flow flavor. He walks up to you, planting a wet smooch to your lips before handing the boys their drinks. 
“I have something for you.” You grin, holding up the little gift wrapped box.
“Oh yeah?” He takes it from you. 
He unties the bow, rips the paper, and opens the box to reveal a small blue Polaroid camera.
“This is so cute,” He says holding it in his hand.
Shawn gasps and Brian stands up in excitement.
“Where’d you get this honey?” 
“It doesn’t matter,” You wave him off, bouncing on your toes in excitement. “What color is it?” 
“Blue?” He asks, looking up at you, and then over to the excited boys next to him that are punching the other in the arm.
“And blue is for what?” You pull it out of him.
“Blue is for….” He stares at you, “Blue is for boy.” His eyes light up. “Blue is for boy?” 
“Blue is for boy!” You squeal.
“Oh my god! Blue is for boy!” He wraps you up in his arms, kissing your neck. “It’s a boy, we’re having a boy!” 
“ITS A BOY!” Shawn and Brian cheer.
**
You groan in pain as you feel another contraction hit. You’ve been in labor for three hours now and your little boy does not want to come see the world.
Connor tries not to wince or complain about his hand he’s sure you’ve severely bruised. He breathes with you through the pain, running a soothing hand over your head and taking your matted hair back away from your forehead.
“There you go Baby.” He whispers, “You’re doing so good.”
“I love you Connor David,” You smile at him, “But I want to fucking kick you in the balls right now.” 
He winces at the thought and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Baby,” He looks away. “I wish I could take your pain away, I wish it were me.” 
“Me too.” You relax when the contraction stops.
“Still holding your hand?” The nurse smiles when she walks in to check on you. “You’re better than most Dad’s, they usually wimp out by now from the pain.” 
“He never lets go, no matter what.” You smile up at Connor.
“You’re my lobster Baby,” He leans down to kiss your lips.
**
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written by: @shawnm521 
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calumhoodless · 5 years
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ugh i luv u 🥺
happy birthday 🥳🥰
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borahebangtan · 5 years
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Like A Star
Summary:-  “You always said I burned like a star, but you never told me you intended to snuff out my light.”
Pairings:- Shawn x Fem!Reader
Warnings:- Cheating, Angst (My first time!), Cursing
Word Count:- 956
My Masterlist Is In My Bio
AN:- This was my first time writing angst and I dunno- please tell me what you think?
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(Y/N) had always been loud, always the one whose presence could be sensed a mile off. It was known to all who knew her, and even those who didn’t, that she was confident. This particular quality rubbed a lot of people the wrong way when they first met her, actually.
Not Shawn though. Ever since the moment he had met (Y/N), he had adored the way she was; she burned like a star and he wished for nothing more than to have a chance to bask in her light. Shawn and (Y/N)’s relationship, even when they were only friends, had always been one that provided warmth and comfort. 
Slowly though, their bond became the fire which fed their entire existence. Most would say it was unhealthy how much they needed one another, but they made each other happy and that was all that truly mattered.
One important reason why Shawn and (Y/N) were so dependent on each other was that both of them were insecure; forever doubting their abilities and questioning their worth. It was a toxic habit but they found that it became easier when they were together through it all. 
(Y/N) didn’t quite understand when Shawn would question himself in a deprecating manner; the man was practically a god for millions of people after all. Still, every time he felt like that she would cuddle into him and press as many kisses to his face as she could, telling him things she loved about him between each one. 
When (Y/N) felt bad about herself, Shawn would gladly return the favor. It was because of this constant support that the two had started to get better at knowing their own worth. Everything had been perfect, so perfect that (Y/N) couldn’t quite believe it sometimes. 
And two years into marriage, it seemed she should not have. Shawn, now her husband, had been unhappy for a while before the incident occurred. It was partly ‘post tour depression’ (as he called it) and partly the stress of making the next album that had him in such a mood. 
(Y/N) had tried her best to bring him happiness the way she used to, by planning dates and making him his favorite dinner and making pillow forts to watch movies in. Nothing she did seemed to work though. 
For a while it looked as if (Y/N) had just lost the ability to make him happy, which in turn made her miserable. The demons in her mind that had not plagued her for so long returned and their impact on her increased tenfold. Just when she felt she would break though, there was a light. 
Shawn began to smile again; his worries slowly washed away and his tensions eased. It looked to (Y/N) as if the previous time had only been a minor hiccup in their journey together and that things were changing for the better. Oh, how wrong she was. 
It was only little things at first, small clues that lead her to believe something devastating; a mysteriously gifted watch, a detail in his story that didn’t match up. Then, (Y/N) found bigger pieces of the puzzle; a hidden present she found in Shawn’s closet that he never gave to her, a whisper on the phone when she called him one night. 
On and on it went, that cruel game of observing quietly, collecting pieces of the puzzle that was sure to break her to pieces- until one day (Y/N) broke. She cried the whole night he was away ‘at Brian’s’ and willed her heart against combusting painfully into tiny bits. Tomorrow, she would end this suffering of hers. 
“Where are you going?” (Y/N)’s question to him was simple. “I told you I won’t be back for dinner, right? Please don’t wait up like you always do.” Even now, Shawn was polite. It took everything in her not to scoff at him. 
“I know there’s someone else.” It was a simple enough statement, just five words long, but (Y/N) quite enjoyed the tremendous effect it had on him. Shawn had never been a very good liar, not until recently. In that moment, she saw the old Shawn- the one who was reduced to incoherent mumbling at first sight of confrontation about a lie. 
Seeing that one glimpse of the man he used to be slightly soothed the burns on (Y/N)’s heart. It was reassuring in a way to know that that man still existed; somewhere underneath the stranger she was forced to love with nowadays. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Shawn finally managed to say. This, ultimately, was what broke (Y/N) down. “It hurts, Shawn. So much you can’t begin to fathom it. But I am begging you not to deny it anymore. I can’t keep on living like this, I refuse to. So just fucking admit it!” She screamed at him, for the first time in a long time, through the sobs that wracked through her. 
Shawn stepped forward, trying to collect (Y/N) into his arms, apologizing the whole way. It was meaningless, though, all of it. She fell to her knees because there wasn’t enough strength left in her. 
(Y/N) had always seemed confident, to all who saw her, but Shawn knew the truth. He knew how broken she was inside; he understood how she had felt all her life. And yet he chose to break her. 
Neither of the two spoke for a while, (Y/N) crying on her knees and Shawn sitting a few feet away with his head in his hands. When she did break the silence, her words were bitter; her heart empty. 
“You always said I burned like a star, but you never told me you intended to snuff out my light.”
AN:- I really hope you liked it, and would love feedback because I’ve never written angst before. Have an amazing day!
<3
2DreamCatcher8
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softiee-babyy · 3 years
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IN MY BLOOD
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Summary: The one where Y/N cheats on Shawn. And he gets really devastated and heartbroken. Shawn starts drinking a lot and starts sleeping with any random model every night to ease/ ignore his pain.
1.2k words.
P.S. This is my first time writing a fic on here. So pardon any mistakes. ❤
Finally, a sense of relief rushed through me as my world tour was finally over. I felt really relaxed cause at last now I’ll be getting more time to spend with my beautiful girlfriend y/n. As I was on my way to our shared apartment I started missing her more and more by every minute that passed. I wanted to see her, feel her, touch her, tease her, caress her and please her. Alas! The car stopped in front the huge multi story building in whose apartment me and y/n live. To say I was excited would be an understatement, I was feeling like kid whose parent bought him to a huge toy store and gave him the permission to buy anything. I exchanged pleasantries with the receptionist at the front of the lobby and patiently waited for an elevator. As I stepped in the elevator and it’s doors started closing a feeling a nervousness and excitement rushed through me, it’s been six months since I’ve seen my baby y/n . This is gonna be a surprise foe her, as I didn’t told her that I’m coming back today, I’m eagerly waiting to see her reaction to this surprise. Finally, the elevator stopped at the 27th floor and steeped out of it and started making my way to our apartment through the hallway.  I slowly inserted the key into the keyhole of our doorknob. I smoothly opened the door, and yelled “ I’M BACK HOME Y/N”
I expected her to run towards me as soon as she would’ve have heard this, but I didn’t saw her coming towards me at all. Instead I heard some noises, not normal sounds, those were of someone moaning, and those moans aren’t of someone else, they’re of y/n- I know this cause I could recognize her voice even from miles away- “Don’t worry shawn nothing’s wrong, she might just be pleasuring herself” my subconscious mind is telling me this . I don’t  know what to do, maybe she’s just enjoying herself, but what if she’s doing what a part of my mind is telling me that she’s doing. I finally mustered up some courage and made my way to our bedroom. I slowly turned the doorknob and braced myself for whatever’s gonna happen next. The door slowly opened to reveal me a sight which was more than heartbreaking for me. At first, I thought this is just an illusion and none of this is true but, There she was, my pretty y/n fucking another man on our bed, on which we used to make so much love and memories. She clearly hadn’t noticed me till now, cause if she would’ve, she’d clearly be jumping off that man and explaining to me the reasons of why she did, what she did.
Finally, her filthy little eyes-whom once were the most prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen- met mine. She did exactly what I thought she’d do, she jumped off of him, grabbed her clothes and started walking towards me with her head hanged low. She looked up at me with her teary eyes but she didn’t say anything instead she started crying, I almost got tempted to forgive her and wrap my arms around her tiny body, cause I can’t see her in pain. But I kept telling myself  that “it’s her fault”, “you did nothing wrong”, “she should be sorry” to keep me from losing my composure. Finally she spoke something, more like she whispered something, “Shawn I-“ , I quickly cut her off by saying ,”Save it”. She starts sobbing more harder and to be honest it kinda hurt me to see her like this, but it’s her fault, she bought this upon herself. “Shawn atleast please listen to me once”, she spoke in her tiny voice, “No I won’t, cause you’re the one who broke my trust, you cheated on me, and expect me to listen to you huh?” , “Shawn I had reasons”, “What reasons? Wasn’t I enough for you?” I firmly asked this question to her, but she didn’t answer, she just kept whimpering her sobbing. “Do not ever show me your dirty face ever again, we’re over, everything we had between us is over, I trusted and loved you with all my heart, but I never expected you to do something like this to me. I hope you enjoyed playing with my feelings. Have a great life ahead, but don’t expect me to be in it. Goodbye Y/N!” It took every ounce of strength that I had in me to say those words and to leave her fragile body sobbing on the doorway with that stranger still lying on our bed and walk out the room and apartment without ever looking back.
I walked out the building in pure rage, I was raged not because of y/n but because I started thinking myself as a lower person to that mediocre man whom y/n was cheating on me with. Thousands of questions were running through my mind and my blood was boiling. I don’t know what I was doing my body was not in control of my mind, I started running on the road ,to god knows where, I didn’t cared about any vehicles hitting me, cause the only thought that was going through my mind were about y/n. I almost got hit by a car but I didn’t cared, I kept on running, and screaming y/n’s name. Some fans noticed me and started running behind me, I somehow dodged them. But then suddenly I saw camera lights flashing at me, and there I saw dozens of paps surrounding me and taking pictures of me, asking me non-sense questions, I was not ready to answer any of them, so I pushed them all away. I don’t care what the headlines tomorrow are gonna be tomorrow, I just want to escape the terrible thing that I witnessed right now, I just wanna run away from this pain.
My mind was not working, my body was not in my control, and my heart was gone numb. I’m now at my house, I don’t know what to do, I’m just laying on my couch being all surrounded by alcoholic bottles, and thinking about how the love of my life betrayed me.
It’s been 3 weeks since y/n cheated on me, everyday felt the same, everything was blurry, y/n had called & texted me countless amount of time but I didn’t answered it, cause I didn’t had the strength to. All that my days were consisted of was drinking and hooking up with random models, it didn’t ease the pain but it most definitely made me ignore it. It still felt like a bad nightmare, but I had to accept the harsh reality. I still remember the day when I first met y/n. She accidently spilled her coffee on me and bought me a shirt in spite of me telling her no multiple times. Her cheekiness & down to earth nature attracted me towards her the most. And I was certain that it was love at first sight at least for me.
All thoughts about y/n were clouding my mind when the sound of my mobile phone’s ringtone interrupted my thought process. And It was who I expected it to be. MISS Y/N Y/L/N. I was confused on whether to pick up the call or decline it. After a few seconds of thinking, I finally decided to pick up the call.
Y/N: Hello, shawn…
 Hey! Thank you so much for reading this. I hope u liked it. Pardon my mistakes. Also sorry for the cliffhanger, but the rest of the story will be revealed in the next part 😊
p.s. send me some fic ideas/requests...
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buck-nialled · 4 years
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Lookalike - R. Mendes Imagine
NOTE: nearly 3.25k words of the triplets demanding they look more similar than Y/N lets on...
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It was just another Friday night at the Mendes house. Well, more specifically the Mendes Triplet house. Shawn, Peter, and Raul, though bittersweet about the move, had been craving this taste of independence for as long as any could remember. All three worked diligently through high school and summers working various jobs to rake up enough money to rent their own apartment. Granted, this piece of independence lied right near their local university where all three were attending, and only fifteen from their parents’ house. However, it did the trick. All three of the boys and Raul’s girlfriend were lounging in the living room, discussing recent events as the long-forgotten Harry Potter movie played lowly on their television served as background noise.
“Mm,” Shawn hummed, “Pete, I ran into that girl from your Econ class the other day. What’s her name…” Shawn snapped his fingers repeatedly as if it would power the energy to the dim bulb in his brain.
“Julia?” Peter’s piqued interest and raised eyebrows were noticed immediately by Y/N, who sat up from her lean against Raul’s chest on the loveseat they were claiming.
“Ooh, who’s Julia?” She sang in question. Peter found heat scorching his cheeks in seconds and shook his head.
“Nobody.”
“Only his crush for, what, two years now—”
“Shawn!” The younger of the three hisses, eyes narrowed through the frames of his glasses.
“What? Y/N’s a girl, she could probably help you ask her out.” Raul reasons, while Shawn nods along with him.
“Well, about that…” Shawn’s hand reaches up to scratch the back of his head. Peter’s eyes are swollen instantly and Y/N gasps, even more, invested than before.
“What? What’d you do?” Peter demands, voice stern.
“Well, when we were talking, she kind of thought you were me…so, I did the job for you—”
“You WHAT?!” Peter bellows, standing up and running his fingers viscously through his curls. HE shakes his head and murmurs ‘no’ many times, alongside a string of curses.
“Dude, calm down! She said yes.” Shawn informs. “She wants to go out with you!” Shawn cheers, reaching out in his chair to give Peter’s shoulder an encouraging jostle.
“No, you don’t understand! I-I’m way too nervous, I can barely talk to her half the time. I’m going to make a complete fool of myself.” Peter wails, scrubbing a hand over his face.
“Hang on, you’re telling me she thought you were Peter?” Y/N scoffs, pointing between the two boys. “I don’t believe that.” She gives a firm shake of her head.
“Um, and why not?” Shawn inquires, crossing his arms.
“Yeah, babe, I mean they call us identical for a reason,” Raul interjects, turning to face his girlfriend.
“You guys don’t resemble one another at all! I could tell you guys apart with my eyes closed.” She mimics Shawn’s cross of the arms, sending a challenging look in each of their directions.
“Well, that’s only because you’ve known us for so long,” Peter replies, now devoted to arguing this theory with his brother’s girlfriend.
“And you see and hang out with us all of the time.” Raul continues. This earns a challenging raise of your eyebrows in his direction, making him clear his throat and begin rubbing her side up and down in comfort with his large palm. “Not-not that that’s a bad thing…honey.” She rolls her eyes at his “save” and turns her attention back to the original instigator, Shawn.
“All I’m saying is, you guys aren’t as alike as you seem.”
Y/N thought that’s where the conversation had stopped. But after leaving the following morning, the boy’s picked her argument back up at breakfast to inspect it. They could be doppelgängers of one another, had they not been siblings, but personality and body-language wise, they could maybe see where Y/N was coming from. Until they refused to believe so, and rather, agreed to all prove her wrong.
---------------------------------------
That following weekend, Raul invited Y/N to meet him at a party one of his friends was hosting. Y/N just alerted him through a text that she was only a few minutes away from the house. This was when Raul turned to Peter to initiate their scheme.
“You remember the plan, right?” Raul asks, eyeing his anxious-looking sibling. Peter gnawed on his lip and took off his glasses, pocketing them into his pants.
“You sure this’ll work?” Raul eyed Peter’s gelled curls and frameless face with a smile. It was like looking in a mirror.
“Definitely. Oh, and don’t forget to lower your voice some. You still sound kinda squeaky.” Raul advises in a low tone. 
“Hey!” Peter’s offended tone reaches a high-pitched whine. Raul sends him a knowing, I-told-you-so glance that leaves the younger huffing. “Fine.”
“Alright.” Another text is sent to Raul’s phone with a BLING! He glances down at your announcement that you were looking outside for him. “She’s here, go out and look for her!” He ushers the nervous boy out of the door and into the chaos while he follows behind, keeping a careful distance and camouflaging himself in the crowd of warm bodies dancing to the beat radiating from the speakers.
“Hey, there you…are.” Raul’s ears perk up at his girlfriend’s apprehensive voice and he stilled, watching Peter spin around foolishly until Y/N is waving a hand at his face. “Hey!”
“Oh.” Peter clears his throat, trying not to make the squinting of his eyes obvious as he approaches the blurry figure. Lowering his tone, he attempts to speak a sultry, “Hey, baby.” His voice cracks slightly, but Raul hopes she does not acknowledge it. Y/N’s eyes flick down to his hands wringing and shifting feet. They were making this game way too easy for her.
“Hey, Peter. Nice sweater.” She points to the gray, knitted top with a sweet smile. A visceral beet red overcomes the man’s cheeks as a smile stretches along his face.
“Thanks, I got it at—” His voice is higher once he begins speaking again, and through his squinting, he catches Y/N holding a triumphant smirk. His smile falls before he is exclaiming, “shit!”
“Nice try. Now, where is my boyfriend?” She demands, crossing her arms. Raul comes out of hiding once summoned.
“Knew I should’ve asked Shawn to do it.”
“Hey!” Peter squeaks once more.
---------------------------------------
Raul and Peter had concluded that the clothing choice of their first attempt was poor and needed adjustments. So, with permission to Shawn’s dresser, Raul donned himself in a navy-blue button-down with jeans, sure to give only scant attention when taming his curls that morning. Shawn was very hesitant to also grant Raul permission to his guitar and swore that he and Peter would be the only sons in the family if Raul so dares to damage the guitar in the slightest. He took Shawn’s intimidating glare and words with caution before he was out of the door with the acoustic in hand.
As Y/N was exiting her usual coffee spot, she could hear familiar hums and single pluck of strings blowing in her direction. She kept following the trail of arbitrary notes and hums before she spotted one of the curly-haired giants by one of the fountains in the university’s courtyard. Raul’s head lifted from the strings he had been picking at mindlessly and matching the sound to in hums for over three minutes before his target was spotted.
“Y/N!” he calls over with a wave of his hand. He and Shawn’s voices (when talking) were probably the most alike. With his hair and clothes identical to those of Shawn’s, he was confident his girlfriend will be baffled when he tells her.
“Hey…” She slows her footing, approaching the look-alike at the fountain. “What’s up? I never see you playing out here.” Raul’s mouth opens and closes like a fish hooked and reeled to shore, unable to answer before the words are spewing out a few moments later.
“Oh, just needed a change of scenery. I’m working on a song right now and figured it would inspire me.”
“I see…and has it?”
“Oh, yeah! It’s coming out great, I’m almost done with it.” Raul brags with a chuckle. She has no idea, he is certain.
“Cool! Play it for me.” She took a seat beside him, and Raul’s cocky smile fell immediately.
“Uh…right now?”
“Yeah. Right now.” She nods, observing the man’s unsure state. His hands, which she’s seen coordinated with a controller in them, fumbled atrociously when trying to strum even one chord of the acoustic guitar. A dissatisfying noise resulted instead, making both her and Raul cringe.
“Ta-da!” He sings, waving one of his hands. Y/N only giggles and shakes her head.
“Yeah, real nice song, babe.” The familiar pet name deflates all of Raul’s hopes to fool her. “But next time, I’d at least try and remember your brother’s tattoos.” She remarks with a devious smile, before pivoting to leave her boyfriend still sitting at the fountain, gobsmacked.
---------------------------------------
“I don’t get it! How is this not working?” Raul sighs, laying back on his bed with an aggravated huff.
“Maybe we should give up,” Peter suggests, but his brothers refused to dissolve the issue.
“No! I want to prove her wrong!” Raul insists, jaw clenching. The way Y/N bragged about how different they all looked to her made the thoughts that they could actually all be one person seem a fallacy. 
“Me too.” Shawn crosses his arms with a pout. “I could tell you guys apart with my eyes closed,” he recalls your statement in a high-pitched, nasally voice, before scowling. “Yeah, right.” Raul sighs and shut his own eyes, before the lightbulb in his mind was flicked on, and illuminated the brilliant idea. He could almost hear the angels singing harmoniously in his head at the thought.
“That’s it.” He sits up. “Her eyes have got to be closed.”
---------------------------------------
They have reached the location of their final attempt. It took preparation, an order of three tuxedos, a pair of contact lenses for Peter, and some foundation Shawn felt very judged by the cashier at CVS for purchasing with no context given. But they were ready to begin the plan. Raul invited Y/N over for a special, romantic dinner, promising her that Raul and Shawn would be out of the house for the night and at their parents’ house to give the couple some much-needed alone time. Y/N, of course, did not refuse the offer and agreed right away.
“Hello, my love.” Raul greeted, opening the door wide to reveal the interior of the apartment. He decorated the dining room with tea light candles and some rose petals to not only sell the atmosphere but the act that it was just the two of them. “I have a surprise for you, so I need you to put this on.” He says, pulling out a blindfold from his coat pocket.
“Uh…”
“Just trust me, okay?” Raul places it over her eyes before she could protest further. She mumbles a small ‘okay’ as he takes her hand in his and begins leading her to the table. He instructs her to sit, guiding her to the empty chair below before Peter peeks his head out of the kitchen entryway. Raul gives him a thumbs up and tells Y/N he would be right back. This allows Peter to grab the two dishes of pasta he spent the past two hours cooking and baking to perfection and exit the kitchen. Meanwhile, Raul enters the kitchen to wait and watch the elaborate plan to unfold right before him. Peter walks towards the table, setting one plate down in front of his chair, which sat across from the table and the other in front of Y/N.
“Can I take this thing off now?” Y/N asks. Peter seats himself and brushes a hand through his gelled curls and gives her permission to do so. When the dark cloth is taken off of her eyes, she blinks but looks unfazed by the sight of Peter. They progress into dinner, Y/N asking what Peter’s recipe was because she has been with Raul too long to know the farthest his cooking skills expanded was to cereal and cup noodles.
She asked about his day, and Peter gave all of the typical Raul answers that her real boyfriend informed him off earlier. He asked about hers and brought two of the dishes to the sink, before excusing himself to the nearest bathroom, where Shawn was hiding out. He entered the small room, shutting the door behind him to find Shawn scrolling through his phone as he laid in the bathtub.
“Dude stand up! Your suits going to wrinkle!” Peter scolds in a hushed tone, yanking Shawn up by the arm.
“Ow! Relax mom.” He bites back, a bit loudly, rubbing up and down his jostled arm.
“Just get out there before she—” A knock sounds on the door.
“Babe, you okay?” Y/N’s voice sounds from the other side of the door, concern laced through it. Shawn pockets his phone right as Peter shoves him toward the door and steps inside of the tub, yanking the shower curtain to shield him. The bathroom door opens to Y/N, who is staring with raised brows up at Shawn.
“Are you okay?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah just needed to use the bathroom real quick.” She smirks, before leaning towards Shawn and placing her hands against his chest.
“Good, because I was thinking—” Shawn’s hands take hers instantly, and peel them off of his chest while saying, “of a movie? Great idea!” He does not wait for Y/N and instead, leads the way to the living room couch. She begrudgingly follows.
“So what are we in the mood for? Comedy, romance…?” Shawn lists with an inquiring tone.
“Netflix,” Y/N mumbles, looking up to her boyfriend who was sitting a whole two cushions away from their usual spot on the couch, where she was.
“Sure.”
“And chill.” She adds.
“…oh,” is all Shawn gets out before Y/N is scooting closer to him. He nervously chuckles as she begins pleading to him.
“Raul your brothers aren’t here, I figured we could make the most of it. I know it’s been a while…I thought that’s one of the reasons you called me over.” She admits, before glancing down at her heels in embarrassment. Had she bought that new lingerie set for nothing?
“N-no. It is.” Raul overhears from his spot in the kitchen and his eyes grow wide. He creeps out to the wall separating the dining room and the living room, peeking his head around it.
“It is?” Shawn’s eyes flick up to Raul, who was sending him a warning glance. Shawn was stuck, and could only answer in a meek, “yes.”
“Okay then,” Y/N was leaning forward again, lips only inches from Shawn’s before he is pushing her away from him, a little too forcefully, resulting in Y/N landing on the floor with a thump.
“What the hell, Raul? What was that for?” She grunts, dusting herself off once she sat up.
“Because you tried to kiss me!”
“You say that like I’ve never—” Her eyes catch something moving in the corner that was not Shawn. Rather, a similar stature, adorned in the same three-piece suit, hiding behind the wall and failing miserably.
“Shawn.” She states through clenched teeth, twisting her head back to the boy on the couch. All he did was send a sheepish smile in her direction. She was nearly growling in anger when she stomped to the bathroom, where she swore she heard more than one voice talking. Flinging open the shower curtain, it screeched against the rod and revealed Peter on his phone, lying down in the tub much like Shawn was earlier. He chuckled, assuming it was one of the brothers.
“Did she fall for—” When he finally turns his head and comes face-to-face with (a fuming) Y/N, his satisfied grin drops. “Uh oh,” he murmurs.
---------------------------------------
“Ow, ow, ow, ow…” Peter is dragged out of the bathroom by his ear. Y/N’s free hand latches onto Raul’s lobe on the way back and had him harmonizing in their moans of pain. Soon, all three triplets were sitting before her on the couch, looking down guiltily at their shoes like children in time-out.
“Anybody want to explain?” She scoffs before any of the boys’ mouths could open and spew out their answers. “You know what? Never mind. I think I already know.” She held up a hand. Raul, sat in the middle of his two brothers, tries reaching out for it.
“Babe—”
“No! God, I can’t even look at you guys right now.” She puts her hands over her face and sighs, still trying to process the entire situation. “Shawn, Peter, can you guys leave us for a second?” Not waiting any longer than needed, the two boys were scurrying to their respective rooms, while Y/N kept pacing the floor in front of Raul. Finally, minutes passed and she stopped, staring at him. “Why?”
“We just wanted to prove you wrong. Everything we tried always failed and you said yourself you could tell us apart with your eyes closed. We tried refusing the fact that maybe we don’t all look alike—”
“You do.” Y/N’s eyes fell closed as she threw her head back with a sigh.
“What?”
“All of you lookalike Raul. You’re identical for God’s sakes.”
“Then why’d you say—”
“Because I know all of your quirks by now. And Peter’s and Shawn’s. And you want to know why?” She sat beside him, on their cushion, running a hand through his perfect brown curls, not even his triplets could imitate to perfection. “When I first started dating you, I was scared something like this would happen.”
“Like what?” Raul furrows his brows.
“This.” Y/N repeats, gesticulating to the vicinity surrounding them. “That I would mistake you for Peter or Shawn somehow and accidentally do something with them that I was meaning to do for you; that you’d see or that they’d tell you and you wouldn’t believe me if I tried telling you my reasoning because why would you believe the girl you just started dating over your brothers?”
“Babe—”
“So I tried finding everything I could to differentiate you guys so I always knew who was who. It got way easier when Peter wore his glasses more and Shawn got the tattoos. But I’ll admit sometimes I still get scared it’ll happen. I mean it almost did.” She continues, tears blurring her eyes.
“Baby, no, come here.” Raul coos, pulling her towards his chest. Y/N might sound bias saying that out of all three boys, Raul gave the best hugs, but it was true. She sniffled into his shoulder, allowing his affirmations to comfort her. “I don’t think that would ever happen. Especially now that you went through all that trouble to make sure it was always me.” Raul chuckles, now finding the admission more adorable the more he thought about it. He brought her head away from his neck and cradled it as she leaned her cheek against his warm palm. It was the only hand she ever wanted to kiss, hold, and touch for the rest of her life.
“Yeah, I guess its kind of stupid looking back on it. But I just…” She shook her head, eyes darting down to the floor before flicking up to meet his brown ones. “I never wanted a reason to lose you.”
Raul leaned forward until their noses brushed against one another, “want to know something, Y/N?” She hummed, their locked eyes never breaking contact through his next words. “I love you so much, I don’t think I could ever leave you. No matter the reason.”
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fallinallincurls · 4 years
Text
Secret| Part 3| #ShawnMendesWritingCircle
week three! major apologies that this is so late, it was not my intention to get it up days later but that’s how it happened unfortunately. sorry about that!
i was lucky enough to continue the fic started by @wordsandshawn​ and then by @mendesficsxbombay​! you can read part one here and part two here along with the entire masterlist of all the various fics we’re working on here!
and like always, huge shoutout to the amazing @saysweartogod-og​ for starting this circle in the first place!
hope you enjoy! feedback is always appreciated x
word count: 2.7k+
~~~~~
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The phone rings and rings, continuing the endless cycle that you’ve been stuck in since you tried calling Shawn the first time. You’re trying not to lose the sudden confidence and nerve that is still coursing through your veins with each passing second. He didn’t answer your cryptic but straightforward message. Which is why you’re desperate to get a hold of him. This is what has to be done. Even though you thought everything would work out with the two of you, despite how badly you wanted that, you couldn’t have it. Just like everything else in your life, it is simply too good to be true.
“Pick up, pick up, pick up.” You mumble, bouncing on the balls of your feet while absentmindedly biting your bottom lip with anxiety. Since knowing him, it’s never taken Shawn this long to answer his phone since the device is practically glued to him at all times with the exception of being on stage. But the long wait and lack of response is only making you second guess yourself which sends your mind into a spiral.
He cannot be involved with me anymore. It’s not safe. He doesn’t deserve what could happen. I love him too much for him to get hurt.
“Hey, this is Shawn. I’m unable to get to my phone right now, but just leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks!” His familiar voicemail plays for the fourth time, the same honey smooth tone melting your heart while also stabbing you with the painful reality of what you’re about to do.
A sob almost tears through your chest at the thought of life without him. No more late night FaceTime calls that go on forever, surprise dates, warm cuddles that make everything else feel insignificant and the feeling of pure love and safety that only he can provide.
“Hey bubs, uh, could you just call me back when you get the chance? Nothing is wrong so don’t rush, just want to talk to you about...something. Okay, uh, see you later. Bye.” The words are empty of all emotion except devastation and are probably a dead give away to what is coming, but you don’t care. Getting Shawn out of this mess as quick as possible is all you're concerned about even if that means losing the man who you are sure is the love of your life.
Haphazardly, you begin packing your bag while trying to suppress the tears clouding your vision. Leaving seconds after having the painful discussion will only make it easier on both of you no matter how impossible it seems.
Just as you zip your suitcase closed and take a deep breath in an effort to calm yourself down, the sound of an insistent knock at the door floats through the hotel room. The world seems to stop for a second because you know who is on the other side of that door. He must’ve rushed over from the arena after soundcheck or something after hearing your message to get here in time.
“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Please, just let me in.” Shawn says softly, his voice muffled but you can hear the tinge of hurt and guilt in each word he speaks.
Slowly, you cross the room and open the door to reveal the boy you have fallen in love with. His curls are messily ruffled most likely from the wind, cheeks are extra rosy and a small frown adorns his lips as his gorgeous hazel eyes meet yours. The picture of perfection like always, but the pain evident on his face just from your voicemail practically shatters your heart. And you haven’t broken the worst news to him yet.
“Don’t you have to be at the arena?” You ask first, hoping to deflect Shawn’s inescapable worry and portray that nothing is wrong. He shakes his head and huffs out a breath before walking past you into the room.
“Not when I get a message from my girlfriend after missing a handful of her calls and a text where I can hear how fucking broken she sounds. I can’t just let whatever this is slide. You need to tell me what’s going on otherwise I can’t fix it, love.” Shawn explains honestly, his emotions seeping through his words. “I can’t lose you and if that’s what you’re trying to do right now, we’re going to work it out. I promise.”
“That’s the thing, Shawn. I can’t keep up this game of pretending everything is okay. My family is going to find me one day. They’ve been tracking me since the moment I left and I can’t risk putting you in that kind of danger. Not now, not ever. Doesn’t matter how good this is,” You gesture between the two of you, “I’m not worth the trouble. And if something were to happen to you… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” “So you’re just breaking it off? Just like that? You don’t care about anything we have or built together?” Shawn asks with a clipped tone, his eyebrows furrowing as he tries to understand your reasoning. He crosses his arms across his broad chest while leaning against the wall across from you. Before you can answer, his gaze leaves your distraught expression for a split second and notices the packed suitcase near the edge of the bed. “You’re...you’re leaving?”
“There’s nothing else I can do, Shawn. You mean the world to me and you’re the first person I’ve ever really truly loved. But they’ll use that against me, against you, and I can’t do that to you. Not when you have a life, an amazing career and so much ahead of you.” 
“None of that means anything if I don’t have you. I don’t care about anything else than having you in my life, Y/N. Don’t you know that?” The question falls off Shawn's lips, his sad eyes meeting yours once again and in that moment, you almost decide to give up the fight. The last thing you want is to have to let him go, but there are bigger problems looming ahead than your newly broken heart from doing the most painful thing in your life.
“I do know, trust me. It kills me to do this. But I have to because I love you and don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”
“You-you love me?” Shawn stutters in disbelief, his eyes widening and a clear indication his breath is stolen away.
It’s only then, looking at his awestruck expression, you realize that it is the first time either of you have ever said those three special words to each other. And that’s all it takes for your tears to finally spill over. 
Shawn doesn’t hesitate to rush over and wrap his arms around you in a warm, loving embrace that reminds you how special this thing you have with him is. Letting him go is easily the toughest decision you’ve ever had to make, so you savor the feeling of him holding you close against his chest and nuzzling his nose in your hair for most likely the last time. Nothing but comfort and safety fills your veins as you softly cry into Shawn’s shirt while he sniffles as well.
“I love you too, so much. You have no idea. Which is why I’m going to fight for this, for you. I can’t- I can’t just let you go. I know you’re scared and from what I’ve heard about your family, they don’t sound like the best people by far. But I’m in love with you and I don’t care what comes with that.” Shawn whispers gently, squeezing you a little tighter as if he’s scared you’ll disappear in a few moments. 
“Just promise me you’ll stay safe.” You reply, lifting your head off his chest to meet the beautiful gaze of his filled with countless emotions, but the most obvious is the adoration. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”
“I promise. And don’t give up on us. Nothing your family could do will take me away from you.”
And for the first two months, Shawn does try. After you return to Toronto from spending some time with him on tour, he is persistent in the kindest way to make the relationship work even though there’s still an inkling of that eerie and terrifying feeling lingering in your mind that something, anything, could happen to Shawn while he’s on the road by himself. Your relatives are ruthless and if they are that determined on finding you again, you had no doubt that they wouldn’t track Shawn down. 
Your curly headed, adorable and charmingly sweet boyfriend pulls out all the stops to make it work. From simple daily phone calls and surprise gifts appearing in the mail to dates in cities on tour stops and handwritten notes hidden around your apartment, he somehow does it all to prove that there is nothing to worry about.
You’re important to him. He loves you, more than anything. He is willing to fight for you, help you through the fear that has followed you through your entire life. No one has ever done anything like Shawn has for you before. And you cherish him beyond words, but you still find yourself drifting away from the boy you love so dearly.
Now, it’s been three weeks since you last spoke to Shawn and not because of lack of communication on his end. No, it’s all you. When the fear and anxiety of trapping someone who means everything to you in the danger and complete mess that you always put him in, you simply stopped replying to him. Although it hurt not to break it off cleanly with an explanation and reason why you can’t just get over this feeling, you panicked in the moment and just let the decision make itself.
Which is why you have countless unanswered texts and calls from him sitting on your phone.
You feel like the worst human being to walk the planet for being so cruel to him this way, but you know he’s better off. As one of the world’s biggest pop stars and a boy with a golden heart, he’s the last person you’d want tangled up in the web of lies, deceit and insanity that you endure from your family.
But one morning, as you walked into work and noticed a co-worker had received a pretty bouquet of roses, you couldn’t help but think of Shawn. It would only take a few seconds to open all his unanswered messages and try to explain your emotions.
Just as you reach for your phone from the purse hanging off your shoulder, you stop dead in your tracks at the sight in front of the conference room. 
“No, no, no.” The words rush out of your mouth in a single breath as your body locks up with terror.
“Why, hello darling.” Your mother drawls the moment she steps out of the large room to face you, “It’s been ages since I saw you and I think it’s about time you came home.”
Everyone in the office tries to look busy as if avoiding the scene will make it go away. You couldn’t even process your thoughts except for the fact that everything you’ve built up by yourself over the last few years has all gone down the drain. Every friendship, ounce of hard work and achievement you’ve acquired since you left your family behind doesn’t matter anymore.
Because they found you. Tracked you down and are now undoubtedly about to steal your life back under their control.
“How-how did you?” You barely stutter out, still trying to comprehend how everything has been turned upside down in the matter of seconds. 
“There seems to be a special and very well known boy in your life. Wasn’t hard figuring out how the two of you are connected thanks to the media which of course, led me right to you.” 
“No, you leave Shawn out of this. He’s done nothing wrong. You can’t- please don’t hurt him. It’s my fault he’s even connected to me, but if you do anything to him, I swear to God.” You cry, fighting with all your will to hold the inevitable tears back. Not the boy you love. Not Shawn. This is exactly why you had to leave, remove him from your life, because no matter how badly you want him, you can’t even bear the thought of something so terrible happening to him because of you.
“Y/N, love, would you mind stepping into the room for a moment? There’s some important business I need to tell you about and I don’t think this little office needs to know all the details.” Your mother says calmly and you clench in a fist in response, praying that Shawn is okay. Your mind is whirring with every possible way out of this situation, but you can’t find one that seems plausible.
The second the conference room door closes, the fake smile instantly drops from your mother’s face and she’s all business just like how she’s been since the moment you were born. 
“As you know, darling,”
“Don’t call me that.” You exclaim through gritted teeth.
“In order for your father and I to get the entire benefits of the company which you so graciously left behind, both you and your brother must be part of Ardes Corp. Now, James has been working with us for almost two years now, taking on the workload like the future CEO he is. But unfortunately due to the industry taking a major hit, we have lost a substantial amount of money which means we need you on board. This is a no questions asked situation. You’re coming with us and that’s final. We can’t risk your selfishness and ignorance getting the better of you once again.” The explanation sounds rehearsed and perfectly timed like everything else your mother has ever said in your lifetime. There is no emotion behind the words, only a business motive which sets your body on fire with rage.
You don’t want a part of this life and you never have. The whole point of moving out and starting over was to leave behind the past and escape being trapped in the extremely detailed plan to control you until the day you die.
And now, staring the threat directly in the face after thinking you were safe for so long, the fear overtakes you. Flashes of your life from the last couple years flash through your memory. Meeting Alicia in college, falling in love with Shawn, finding success in a job you thoroughly enjoyed. All of it ripped away right in front of your eyes.
Without another option, you simply nod your head in response to accept the fateful decision that’s been laid out. Panic and anxiety sets in at the realization of what’s happening, but you know you’re stuck. 
Except.
Your heart hurts at the single thought and suddenly the phone in your hand feels like a brick. The only chance of making it out of here relies on one person. The same one who you didn’t want to get involved in the first place.
And here you are, about to put him in actual danger.
“I’ll give you ten minutes to collect your things from your desk and say goodbye to everyone here. Movers are already at your apartment packing everything up. Use your time wisely.” Your mother sternly announces and a fresh wave of shock hits you. She walks out of the room, leaving you alone with a spinning head and a ticking clock. 
Rushing out of the conference room, you make a beeline for your desk while bypassing all the co-workers you’ve formed close relationships with. There will be time for explaining what’s going on, but right now you need to do one thing and one thing only. 
You pull up his contact and tap on the small call button just as you lean against the side of your desk. The taunting ringing fills your ears, only making your anxiety rise even higher. Last resort. You need this to work.
What if he turns you away? He’s probably so hurt from what you did that he doesn’t want to save you. Why would he? After everything you’ve put him through, how can you expect him to agree and not say no? 
There’s not enough time to push the overwhelming negative thoughts away as the call connects and he softly murmurs “Hello?” in that voice you missed hearing for so long.
“Shawn? I need you.”
taglist: @imaginashawnns​ @ellalynnrose​ @curlsofshawn​ @shawnwyr​ @serendipitousshawn​ @shawnmndes​ @profmcgonagall​ @particularstrings​ @tastebaldwin​ @vinylmendes​ @mendesficsxbombay​ @lovewithanattitude​ @lights-on-mendes​ @enchantingbrowneyedgirl​ @daisyangei​ @shawnieeboyy​ @adelaidestreets​ @kerwritesthings​ @itrocksmysocks​ @fallinfortom​ @lonelyreputation​
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daddymendes · 4 years
Text
Shawn Mendes Imagines: Sugar Daddy AU
Request?: Yes
Warnings: Suggestive but no smut scenes 
Pairings: Shawn Mendes x Reader
Word Count: 1k
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(y/n) had been going through the typical stage of a college student; she had student debts to pay off. She decided to start working part-time at a fast food place but that would only give her so much money that she would have to work there for months before she could even pay for a quarter of her debts. 
Her friend, Coralie, told her to try out signing up on a sugar daddy website where she explained that it was basically just older men looking for younger attractive women to distract them from their boring lifestyles and in return the women, whom they call sugar babies, get a certain amount of money depending on what they did with the man. 
(y/n), at first, was very disgusted by the idea of basically having sex with men, that could possibly pass for her grandfather, for money. That was until Coralie also explained that some men would still pay even if all they did was hang out, have dinner and make out for a bit.
Reluctantly, (y/n) signed up to a popular sugar daddy/baby website and started going through the different profile of the men in her area. Some of them messaging her looking for a quick fuck with a triple digit number attached to it but (y/n) declined them all not wanting to have sex with a man on the first meeting.
(y/n) was about to give up searching for a decent sugar daddy when she came across the account of a guy named Shawn. She looked at his profile and realized that he was much younger than the other men she saw on the website. She was deciding whether or not she should message him when she received a message notification. She didn’t think much of it as she thought it was another man just looking for sex and she was ready to decline them until she saw that it was a message from Shawn. 
She blushed slightly before opening the message. It read: “Hello my name is Shawn, I was looking through the profiles on here when I came across your account. You seem like a nice person and I would like to get to know you more” 
Since he seemed like a nice guy, (y/n) decided to reply back with a positive response. They spoke for the next hour or so, exchanged numbers and planned to meet up the next day at the local café in town. (y/n) felt comfortable as they were meeting up in a public space and if he ever tried something on her, she could just alert anyone close by. 
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(y/n) decided to arrive 10 minutes earlier to her meeting with her potential sugar daddy as she was scared since it was her first time doing this but luckily, Coralie had briefed her on what they would be going over which was mainly just rules that (y/n) would have to follow. 
(y/n) was sitting down at a table close to the window, therefore she was able to see when Shawn was coming in. She was fiddling with her finger when she saw the man she had been talking to the previous day walk in the coffee shop. He looked around for a bit before his eyes landed on (y/n) and started heading her way. 
(y/n) was absolutely gobsmacked at how good he looked in real life but somehow still managed to offer him a gentle smile that he returned which made her melt slightly on the inside. Shawn sat down in front of her and that’s when (y/n) realized what they where here to discuss. 
“Hey, I’m (y/n)” she said to break the silence that was between them 
“I know, I’m Shawn” He chuckled before smiling at her
She blushed and suddenly felt stupid, of course he knows who I am, she thought before composing herself again. 
“So we’re here to place down some rules before you officially become my sugar baby” He started and (y/n) just nodded, not having words to express how she was actually feeling
“After each hang out, I’ll send you a certain amount of money depending on what we did, anything from just having dinner to making out and maybe even, hopefully in the future, having sex. So you should send me your bank account number so that I can transfer over the money after out meetings” Shawn said and paused 
“Any questions so far?” He asked softly
“Nope, all good” (y/n) said as she made a mental note of everything
“First time” He chuckled before asking
“Is it that noticeable?” I asked giggling slightly
“Only a little, don’t worry, I’ll be gentle with you” He said 
The simple fact that the phrase had a double meaning was able to make (y/n) blush a deep shade of red. She tried to turn away and hide the lower part of her face from Shawn but he had already seen her mildly blushing cheeks. 
“You’ll accompany me to events and company dinners for money and gifts in return. If you follow my rules maybe I’ll even reward you with a trip abroad or something because good girls deserve to get rewarded” He ended with a soft smile 
“I’ll try my best to be a good girl” (y/n) says shyly 
“Good” Shawn says and smiles
The date continued with the both of them bonding over their hobbies and talking about their lives. It ended with (y/n) sending Shawn her bank account details and hugging him as he left. She sat back down taking all of this in before letting out a sigh and daydreaming about what Shawn would do to her in both the innocent and lewd way. She was brought back to reality from a notification from her banking app that notified her she just had a transfer made. She opened the notification to see that $1000 had been transferred into her account. Gosh I have to remember to thank Coralie when I see her. She though before grabbing her stuff and going back home. 
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xeunoais · 4 years
Text
Remember
(A/N: the idea for this randomly while i was eating breakfast the other day so here i am lol!! i hope you enjoy this!)
Summary: You got into a car accident on your way to the studio where Shawn was. And it was bad enough to where you were put into a coma. And if Shawn had learned anything from this, it was that, you don’t know what you truly have and how much it means to you until you lose it.
-
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-
I reached my hand into my pocket and pulled out the small diamond ring. I looked at the ring and then at the love of my life. Laying there in that hospital bed, almost lifeless.
I sat up in my chair. Still looking at her. I reached up slowly and grabbed her hand gently, rubbing my thumb up and down on the back of it.
With one more look at the ring in my other hand, I looked at back at her. I lifted her hand up and slid the ring on her finger. It was a perfect fit. It looked so good on her too. It was meant to be her’s. On her finger.
My hand picked hers up back off the pillow and gently held it again. I looked at her, thinking about her as my fiancé.
“I know this isn’t the best time to do this. But the past few days, I haven’t been able to shake this. You’ve always said that you don’t know how much something truly means to you until you might lose it.” I paused, taking a deep breath.
“And baby, these past few days, I could be losing you. I can’t lose you. You are my world. The reason I wake up everyday. You are going to be my wife one day. God, you will make the most gorgeous bride. And you are going to be the mother of our children.” I stopped as I felt tears run down my cheeks.
“I bought this ring when I was on tour. The same day that you actually left to go back home after you visited. Brian, Connor and I had gone out on a walk. And we passed this ring shop. I don’t know what made me do it but I walked inside and the found this one.” I said as I ran my thumb across it.
“I saw this ring and then knew I had to get it. It had you written all over it. So I did, I bought it. I had it all planned out in my head too. I was gonna come home, and we were going to the diner that your mom and dad met at, and then I was going to ask you.”
More tears fell from my eyes as I thought about that. She always said that if I didn’t propose there, she would tell me no. She said she had dreamt about being proposed to there ever since she was little.
I almost feel a little dumb for doing this now but I can’t help it. I couldn’t wait anymore.
I stood up slowly and stood beside her. I grabbed her other hand, so that was I was holding them both.
“Baby. I need you to wake up. I need you wake up and marry me. Y/n, will you please wake up and marry me?”
I felt a squeeze. And another one. I looked at her hands and felt it again. I started yelling for a doctor or nurse.
Once they came in there they pushed me out of the way. Then before I could even react I was being pushed out of room and the ring was being handed to me.
The door was shut and I stood there watching them surround her bed. Then I saw it, her eyes opened. She was awake and I’m not there.
-
The next she was going to be released tomorrow morning. They wanted to keep her one more night to monitor everything. Make sure that she was fully okay before being sent home.
Everyone came to the hospital again. My family and friends, and all her’s. I didn’t want to be rude but nobody was letting me in there. Nobody was letting me get to my girl. And I was almost to my breaking point.
I spent five days. Five fucking days at this hospital. Sitting by her side, hold her hands, talking to her. Trying absolutely everything I could too help her wake up or just move.
I’m not gonna say that nobody else cares because I know they do. Everyone love Y/n. Absolutely everyone. But nobody stayed by her side like I did. There was not one moment that I left this hospital room.
I was pacing up and down the hallway when her dad approached me. I walked over to him as fast as I could.
“Can I see her now? How is she?” I asked trying to push past him but his arm raised up, and blocked me from walking. I looked at him confused. All I could see was pain in his eyes.
Something wasn’t right here. Something’s wrong and if someone doesn’t tell me something soon, I am going to fucking lose my shit in the middle of this hospital.
“What’s wrong? Why won’t anyone let me in there to see her?” I asked again as I placed my hands on his arm to push it out of my way.
“Shawn. Stop and listen to me.” He said, grabbing at my arm with his other hand.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Let me go see her.” My anger was slowly rising inside of me. I pushed him out of my way and walked into her room.
I saw her for the first time in like 3 hours. My girl was awake. She looked at me with no expression on her face what so ever. What the hell?
“Who are you?” She asked quietly.
“Huh? Baby, its me. Shawn. You know who I am.” I said slowly. What the fuck is going on right now.
Then it hit me. Does she not remember who I am? The doctor said that was a possibility. But he said it wasn’t likely. She seemed genuinely confused when I told her who I was.
Does she really not remember anything?
“Uhmmm, I don’t know a Shawn..” She mumble turning towards her mom with a questioning look on her face, almost asking her if she was supposed to know who I am.
“Shawn, I need to talk to you in the hall. Please.” Her dad said as he walked into the room and placed his hand on my shoulder.
I looked him in the eyes and then back at her. Then I looked at her mom and she nodded to me, telling me to listen to him.
The second I stepped out of the room, I broke. My whole body went numb and I fell into the chair outside the door. My mom rushed to my side and wrapped her arms around me. I leaned into her embrace and cried into her shoulder.
“Mom. This can’t be real. She doesn’t know who I am. She doesn’t re-remember me mom.” I mumbled against her shirt.
“I know honey. Its all gonna be alright.” She tried to reassure me. But I snapped at her words and pushed myself away from her.
“No mom. Its not going to be fucking okay. My girl. The love of my life doesn’t even know who I am. She doesn’t remember me, Mom!” I paused for a second. Slipped my hand into my pocket and pulled out the ring. Everyone gasped when the saw it in my hand.
“I proposed to her right before she woke up. I put the ring on her finger and proposed. And then she woke up and I wasn’t allowed to go back and see her for five hours. But the second I do, my worst nightmare comes true. She doesn’t fucking know who I am and everyone keeps pushing me away from her. I should be in there right now telling her who I am, how we met and everything after that. I should be by her side helping her try to remember who I am but nobody is-“
“She’s never going to remember, Shawn. Doctor said its a one in a hundred chance that she will remember who any of her friends or anyone is. She only remembers her family because of when she was little.” Her dad cut me off. I looked at him and titled my head.
“What do you me she’s never going to remember me?” I asked, voice way lower than it just was.
“Shawn. You are a complete stranger to her. And you probably always will be.” Her dad explained.
He’s lying to me. I can see it in his eyes. He’s got that look that in his eyes that she always has whenever she tries to hide something from me.
“So she’s never going to remember who I am, or what we are?”
“No. She’s not. And her mom and I have agreed that’s is best she comes back to the states with us. And gets back on her feet again.” He said to me, lying again.
Her dad wasn’t ever the biggest fan of me. He doesn’t hate me but he doesn’t think I’m the right fit for her. That because I was always on the road, there’s no telling when I could possibly slip up and make a mistake.
I don’t blame him. He just wants what’s best for her. Its just that, I want what’s best for her too. And he chooses to not see that about our relationship. I stopped trying to fight for him to accept what I have with her. And instead just focused on what was more important. Her.
“Okay. I will go back with you all. I will rent an apartment ther-“ I started to say but was cut off again.
“That’s the issue Shawn. We want to bring her back to the states so she’s not around you or in Toronto where she doesn’t remember anything. We want her to go back home with us, where she remembers everything. Where she is comfortable and able to get back on her own two feet at her own time. We want to bring her to the home she knows.” He said slowly
“What? That’s not fair. You can’t do that. You can’t just make me stay away from her. You can’t do that.”
“Yes we can Shawn. And I’m sorry but its whats best for her. She needs time. And if you loved her, you would give it to her.” Her mom said as she walked out of the room.
Her mom and I were closer than her dad and I. Her mom and my mom were best friends. They loved each other. And they would always gush to each other about how we treated each other. How much we loved each other.
But I’ve always known that she wanted more for her daughter. She loved how happy she is with me but she’s always said that I needed to give her girl stability. That I couldn’t go on tour for the rest of my life and expect her to go with me every single time.
“Shawn. I think you need to listen to them, and give her space. Let her refind herself.” My dad said.
I looked my dad in the eyes, how could he say that? Then my eyes went to my moms and she had the same look in her eyes telling me she agreed with him.
I shook my head and looked through the window at the love of my life sleeping peacefully in her hospital bed.
She is supposed to be the woman I marry. The woman that carries my babies. The woman that I grow old with. The woman I get buried next to when my time comes to end on this earth.
But she doesn’t remember who I am. Or what we had. Nothing. I’m a total stranger to her, but to me, I relive three years worth of memories with her. And that’s what hurts the most.
I’m being expected to just be ready to throw away all the memories. To just walk away and give up on her and what her and I have together.
As much as I know, it’s probably whats best for her. The selfish side of me, doesn’t want to let her go. I want to be the one to take her home to out apartment and help her try and remember everything.
But I know that she doesn’t remember me or what we had. And she may never remember because nobody will let her.
-
The End
(A/N: i am crying rn. literally sobbing. but anyways i hope you enjoyed this. feedback is highly appreciated!!)
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l-ivingforstyles · 3 years
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Hey yall my new account is @s-tealyourheart I will no longer use/be able to use this accunt as tumblr wont allow me to log in on my new ohone. It will still be multifandom but is it based around austin and ally :) love you all <3
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shawnmendesbuddy · 2 years
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“Stale”
Warnings: Talk of suicide/depression, swearing
Summary: Y/N thinks their relationship is “stale.“
Part 2
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She loved him more than she had loved anyone or anything else in her life. He was her sun, her moon, and her stars.
He was happier than he had ever been. She was the love of his life, and he knew they were meant to be together forever.
The first time they met, he had saved her life. Having been in an abusive relationship, and falling into a depression, she had sat on the edge of a bridge, staring down at the twenty foot drop into the freezing depths below. She was ready to end her life. She had nothing else to live for; her parents had died in a car accident a year earlier and the abuse was getting to be too much. She felt worthless and unworthy of love. She was a little curvier than other girls, and her skin always had at least one zit on it. She felt ugly and unwanted.
He had been taking his dog for a walk in the rural parts of Toronto when he found the girl crying atop the railing of the bridge. He quietly walked towards her and threw his legs over the balcony, sitting next to her.
“Hey, my name is Shawn. What’s yours?”
She stared at him with puffy red eyes and chuckled slightly at the humor of the situation. He was an attractive man, and not only that, he was a famous celebrity. What a time to end her life? Right as she was meeting someone famous.
“It’s not important. You should get on with your day. I’m just enjoying the view from up here.”
Deeply concerned for the beautiful woman sitting next to him, he let out a little laugh, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You can enjoy the view from behind the railing.”
“It’s more fun like this though. Not knowing if I’ll accidentally fall into the abyss below or not.”
Shawn furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m guessing if you ‘fall’,” he did air quotes,”it won’t be an accident. Listen, come back with me to my condo and we can talk about this.”
“What if I’m done talking? What if I just want the aching inside of me to go away and this is the only way I know how to get rid of it? It’s not like anybody would miss me if I fell.”
Shawn could just cry for the girl sitting next to him. She was in such a dark place in her life, and his heart hurt for her.
“I’m sure your parents would. And your friends. But most importantly, the world would miss the beautiful aspects you bring to it that no one else can.”
She frowned at him. “My parents are dead, I have no friends, and no one would come to my funeral because no one knows who I am.”
Shawn’s heart broke for her and he wrapped her in his arms. Her skin was soft and she smelt like flowers.
“I would come to your funeral. And I would tell the world about who you are. But that’s not what you need. You don’t need the world to know you, you just need one person. Trust me, I’ve been where you are.”
The girl found it hard to believe that a man like Shawn Mendes—singer, songwriter, and overall amazing human being—could have been suicidal. But she felt so safe wrapped in his arms that she didn’t argue with him. And for the first time in a while, she was able to take a deep breath. And then the gut wrenching sobs came.
Shawn rubbed her back and soothed her, relieved that he had possibly talked her out of commiting suicide. “Come with me back to my house. I’ll make you a cup of hot chocolate—it’s cold out here—and we can talk.”
He felt her nod her head against his shoulder and he let out another breath of relief. He slowly pulled away from her, throwing his legs over the ledge before grabbing onto her waist and hoisting her onto the road next to him. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, called Tarzan after him, and escorted her back to his condo.
They talked and she cried a lot. But finally, she agreed to go into counseling and he vowed to help her get out of her abusive relationship.
After knowing each other for a few months—and with meeting in the circumstances that they did—they became best friends quickly. He brought out the best in her and made her feel less depressed. She was able to get out of her abusive relationship (more on that later) and the weight of her parents’ death didn’t feel as heavy.
Shawn was inspired by her to write new music, curing his writer’s block that he had had for months. He requested Y/N to make an appearance on his Instagram to speak about her depression and her toxic relationship which she gladly obliged to.
The fans loved that Shawn was spreading mental awareness to others and that was what made him decide to open up about his anxiety.
Y/N noticed his anxiety within the first week of knowing him. She had been staying with Shawn since the bridge incident (it was determined by the police that it wasn’t safe for her to live with her boyfriend anymore) so Shawn was allowing her to stay with him.
She had just gotten done from a session with her counselor and an interview with the police. She was emotionally drained and just wanted to sit down at Shawn’s piano and play a song.
She had learned piano at a very young age and was extremely good at it. Shawn was impressed with how well she could play the piano given that she hadn’t played it in a few years.
But when when she opened the condo door, she heard no noise. The dishes from Shawn’s breakfast were piled in the sink, music sheets lay out across the countertops, his guitar was sitting on the couch, and his manifestation journal was lying facedown, halfway opened as if he had thrown it.
“Shawn?” She had tentatively called. She felt bad about staying with him since she barely knew him and vice versa, but he had insisted. Now she felt bad about intruding in his private life. She didn’t think she was supposed to see his life a mess like this.
She walked down the hallway to his room and gently knocked on the door. No answer. She was worried what she would find on the other side.
She gently pushed the door open and still no Shawn. She saw the light on in his bathroom and heard shallow breathing on the other side.
She pushed the door open, worried that something might’ve happened to him. He lay there on his bathroom staring at the ceiling. His phone rested in his hands and his eyes were swollen and red.
She knelt down next to him and shook him. “Shawn! Are you alright?!”
“Y/N, I feel so numb.” And it was then that it hit her why he stressed so much about making a song perfect. Why he read and reread any post he made to Instagram at least a hundred times before posting it. He had anxiety. Bad anxiety too.
And that is how the song In My Blood came to be.
So you see, Y/N and Shawn both saved each other from their mental health issues. That is perhaps the reason why their friendship grew so quickly. They would rant to each other about how they felt and then if it was bad enough, they would encourage them to talk to their therapist about it.
After a month of trying to get back on her feet, Y/N had found herself a steady job and was well on her way to moving out of Shawn’s apartment. She ate healthier and worked out and felt better about herself.
The people around her were appalled at the quick recovery she had made. She blamed it on Shawn and how he had been an amazing friend to her. Not to say that she was completely cured of depression, but she was the fastest moving case.
One day, about 3 months after the incident, she received a text from Shawn while she was at work.
Shawn: Hey! Umm…this song is really personal to me and it’s going on my new album. I want you to tell me what you think.
Y/N clicked on the audio link he had sent her and his melodic voice filled her ears.
“Why do we put each other through hell? Why can’t we just go over ourselves?”
The song came to a close and Y/N was in awe over the beautiful sound of the song.
Y/N: that! was! beautiful! Please publish it to the world.
Shawn: ;)I’m glad you liked it. It was about a special someone.
And later that night, while she was lying on his chest during their annual movie nights once a month, he confessed that the song was about her. She was hesitant at first, not feeling the same way about him. She asked for space which he gladly gave to her, but after three weeks, she came around and confessed that she felt the same.
After being his girlfriend for 3 months, Shawn was leaving for tour. Y/N had quit her job to travel with him and to say he was ecstatic was an understatement! He couldn’t wait to show Y/N the world.
When Shawn and Y/N finally became public, the fans weren’t too fond of her. They body shamed her for being anorexic and being too fake. They accused her of using Shawn for money. They told her she was ugly. They told her she didn’t deserve Shawn.
Y/N handled the fans in a good way, ignoring what they said about her. But there were some nights when they got the best of her and she would cry onto Shawn’s shoulder. He would wipe away her tears telling her she was beautiful.
One day, pictures surfaced of Y/N wearing a sports bra and leggings while out for a smoothie with Shawn. The pictures were heartfelt and cute. One even showed Shawn wiping off some of Tarzan’s fur from off her butt. And then there were the pictures that came after that, showing Shawn wiping away Y/N’s tears after a fan had harassed her. Shawn had never been more pissed off in his life.
He wrote a huge letter to his fan explaining that they should respect his girlfriend and if they liked him then they would respect his choice to be with her. Most fans backed off or apologized about what they had done.
After 1 year of dating, Shawn and Y/N couldn’t have been more in love.
So when Shawn came home from the studio one night and Y/N said the four most dreaded words in the English language to him, his heart plummeted to his stomach.
“Hey, Shawn, we need to talk.”
He slowly walked towards her, sitting down next to her on the couch. “What’s up?” He asked tentatively, grabbing her hands in his.
She felt herself choke up. She was about to break this man’s heart. But she had been thinking about it for the past month and it was a thought that wasn’t going away.
“I…lately I feel like we haven’t really…I don’t know, been in a relationship.”
Shawn’s face dropped. He was shocked. “What do you mean? I’m not sure I understand what you mean by that.”
Y/N took a deep breath. “I feel like we’re just best friends that kiss. I don’t know if that makes any sense but-“
“Wait, I’m sorry, I still don’t understand. You…you feel like we’re not in love anymore?” His voice fluctuated at the end as his beautiful honey eyes glazed over with tears.
“I…,” Y/N didn’t look at him. She couldn’t. “Yes. Yes, I think that. We started this relationship off as best friends and I think that maybe we are better as just that. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love you. Just not in that way.
“I…I used to feel in love with you, but now I feel like our relationship isn’t progressing, you know? It’s gone kinda stale.”
A tear fell from Shawn’s eye as he listened patiently to her. “Stale? What the hell does that even mean?! I…this is a lot to take in. Holy shit! We’re both at completely different phases in this relationship. Just give me a second to process this.” So he sat there—head in his hands—for what seemed like hours can, but was really only five minutes. And when he looked up at her, she knew she had completely and utterly destroyed his heart.
She turned her head away and slowly got up off the couch, making her way to their kitchen. She grabbed a kettle and made some hot chocolate for Shawn, slipping a little bit of his anxiety powder into it. Just because she had broken him, didn’t mean she didn’t care for him.
She walked back over to the couch and passed him the hot coco. Then she wrapped the throw blanket form the back of the couch over him.
His eyes were bloodshot and he was staring off into the distance. “So, you’re saying you want to break up? You don’t want me anymore because you’re bored?! That still doesn’t make any sense! All good relationships go through a ‘stale’ period. That doesn’t mean you should give up on them. On us,” he whispered in a melancholy voice.
Y/N of course knew this, but it wasn’t about their relationship being boring. It never was. She just though the relationship was at the point where Shawn and her either a) got engaged or b) broke up. She couldn’t see the former happening anytime soon so she decided it was time to end the relationship. They couldn’t progress any further until they were engaged/married.
And another big thing was that she was ready for kids. But she made two vows to herself when she was little:1) no sex before marriage and 2) definitely no kids before marriage (although that was a given because of her first rule).
Shawn knew these things and respected them, but Y/N was ready for marriage. She was ready to start a family, and if Shawn wasn’t at that point, she couldn’t force him into it.
Although they had talked about these things before, they had never for sure said they would get married and have kids. Which scared Y/N shitless to make the first move and ask him about getting engaged. And so she decided to end it.
She gripped his hands in hers and he pulled them away. “I…just please don’t. This is already hard enough.” And with that he stood from the couch, throwing the blanket down, and walking toward the front door.
She heard the jingle of the keys and the turning of the door, but she didn’t dare look up at him, not wanting to see him leave. “I’ll be at my parent’s house if you need anything. Sleep well.”
And then the door closed and Y/N was left with nothing, but the scent he left behind and the cold hot chocolate sitting on the coffee table.
A/N: If you didn’t notice, this was based loosely on the Shawmila break up. Do you maybe want a part two? Like and comment to let me know. Thanks, love you all!
Part 2
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brashierc · 5 years
Text
NBLD
4 minutes late 😭😭 in my defense I was reading all day but I wrote a little sum sum to celebrate National Book Lovers Day! Happy reading y’all
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He smiles to himself when he sees her insta story, now that it’s finally loaded. She posted a picture of herself curled up on his couch (though no one knows it’s his) his favorite blanket draped over her lap, coffee cup in her left hand, book on her lap with the caption ‘Happy National Book Lovers Day!’
He was so far in love with her it wasn’t even funny. The thought of her sitting on his couch with his favorite blanket made his heart beat faster than normal, and his emotions shot up like a rocket. 
He’s just walking out of the office building Shawn and the team had him meet at. They wanted to discuss visuals for the new single being added to the tour set list, and to get updates for how the documentary editing was coming along.
“You’re chipper,” Shawn nudges his shoulder, as they walk toward the parking lot together.
“My girls at my place.” He says stopping at his car, squinting in the sunlight with a small grin on his face. 
“Oh,” Shawn wiggles his eyebrows. “Spending nights now huh?” 
“I’m 20 Shawn, I’m an adult.” Connor stands straighter.
“Chill bro,” Shawn chuckles, “I’m just giving you a hard time. I’m glad to see you happy, Y/n’s cool.” 
“She’s amazing.” 
“Do I smell love in the air?” Shawn raises an eyebrow.
“You do, you do.” Connor mumbles, shrugging as his cheeks blush profusely.
“Good for you man! I’m happy for you.” 
“Thanks Shawn.” 
“You guys got plans for the day?”
“Well it’s National Book Lovers Day?” Connor looks back at Shawn, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So I kind of planned on dropping by the book store to get a few books and then some coffee before heading back to my place to spend the day watching her read.” 
Shawn just grins, “You’ve got it bad Bro.” He laughs when Connor shrugs and continues to squirm in his stance with how embarrassed he is. “Well, if you find yourself needing food, and maybe wanting to chill out or dance with her for a bit, I’m throwing this party tonight at my place. It’s gonna be chill but at the same time it won’t. Please feel free to drop by, bring Y/n, have some fun.” 
“Thanks man, I’ll talk to her about it.”
“If you make it you make it, if not, I’ll just know you’re getting laid.” 
At this Connor punches Shawn in the arm and laughs before bidding him goodbye and getting in his car.
He searched her bookshelf this morning, looking up authors and book titles to figure out if she was in the middle of reading any series and if she had all the books to the series. He found one series she was missing three books from, and those were the three he planned to pick out for her.
Walking into the bookstore he didn’t even try to pretend like he knew the first thing about looking for her books, he did what any boyfriend does. He went to the help desk. A young girl smiled as walked up. 
“How can I help you?” 
“I’m looking for this author and series,” He says showing her a screenshot of what he found out this morning.
She nodded, but looked up and stared at him. She blinked a few times before smirking and taking him to the section. He was oblivious to where he was until she pulled the three books he was looking for off the shelf, showing the covers to him, that were of shirtless men. 
“Oh,” He jerked his head back a bit, double checked his screenshots, and pictures of the books you had on the shelves before grabbing the books and rushing to the front counter. 
He was going to get out of there as fast as he could. The guy at the counter stared at him as he rung him up and he tried to avoid eye contact. 
He was so out of sorts he totally spaced on stopping at her favorite coffee shop before heading home.
“You’re back!” She cheered as he walked in.
“Hey Babygirl.” He smiled, snapping out of his thoughts as he sat next to her on the couch. 
“What’s that?” She asked pointing to the light yellow bag in his hand. 
“Oh,” He held it up, forgetting that he had it. “Happy National Book Lovers Day Babygirl.” He smiled, leaning over and kissing her cheek as he set the back down on her lap.
She squealed a little when she realized he bought her books. “You didn’t have to.” 
“I wanted to.” 
She pulled the books out of the bag and gasped when she found the three books that she’s been waiting to get. 
“What? How’d you? Con?” She looks up at him in amazement.
“I might have dug through your bookshelf.” He motions a thumb over his shoulder. “Looked up some authors, and some book series.” He rubs the back of his neck.
“Wow I love you.” She smiles, leaning forward to kiss his lips, but pulling back when he doesn’t quite reciprocate. “What’s wrong?” She whispers.
“Why are you reading books with shirtless guys on the covers?” He blurts, not meaning too.
He shuts his eyes, jaw clenched as she giggles a little.
“I wondered if you’d ever ask me that question.” 
“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” 
“Don’t be.” She leans closer to him, hand around his neck, thumb rubbing up and down behind his left ear. “Unless your judging me.” 
“Of course not.” He shakes his head. “I just, I’m-”
“Listen to me.” She pecks his lips. “I love you.” He grins instantly. “The books have nothing to do with us or you, it’s everything to do with the fact that I’m in love with the idea of love. I love reading love, I love watching love, I love loving you. I love feeling loved by you.” 
He smiles, big, and leans back into her hand. 
“It’s a story to me, and I like to get lost in their world because it makes me look at mine through a brand new prospective with each book I open and close.” 
“Much like photos and videos are a memory, and each time I watch it I find something new to see.” 
“Exactly.” She nods. 
“Okay, I like that. I like learning new things about you.” 
“I like learning new things about you too.” She smiles, kissing his lips softly. 
“The guy at the counter looked at me funny when I bought you your books.” 
“The guy on the other side of the counter won a lot of brownie points for dealing with the guy at the counter looking at him funny when he bought me my books.” 
“Oh yeah?” Connor smirks, leaning in for another kiss, this time slipping her a little tongue.
“Yeah.” 
“Enough to take her out of the house away from her books tonight?” He asks with a slight cringe look on his face.
“Awe, why? What’s going on?” She asks, pouting a little.
“Shawn’s throwing a party, but we don’t have to go.” 
She sits on it for a moment and nods. “Let’s go, Shawn’s parties are always fun. Someone always breaks the internet, and if it’s gonna be you I’d rather be there to watch.” 
He laughs, shaking his head. “You’re trouble.” 
“I am not.” She fake gasps. 
“Yes you are, don’t deny it. You’re my trouble.” 
“Thought I was Babygirl?” 
He blushes, taking the book off her lap and setting it on the table before he pulled her on his lap. “You are my trouble Babygirl.” He nips at her lips.
“Yeah well, you’re kind of hot Connor David.” 
He grins, leaning up a little bit. “Hot enough to take you away from your books, maybe take you down the hall, lay you on the bed, and not sleep, and maybe have you teach me what you learned from reading Fifty Shades?”
She gasps when he brings up the book series.
“I found those, hiding them on the bottom shelf isn’t a good hiding spot.” He kisses down her neck. 
“I’d much rather you be my Will Sumner.” 
“I don’t know who that is but I’m willing to learn.” 
“Be my book boyfriend.” She laughs as he stands up with her legs wrapped around his waist. 
“I’ll be the best book boyfriend.”
**
iMessage to ShAwN the bOsS: Hey man, thanks for the invite, but she looks too pretty reading.
iMessage from ShAwN the bOsS: No problem, you’re not missing much other than Brian sucking at beer pong.
“What are you doing?” She asks as she looks up at him for a minute.
She’s currently laying on him, book in hand, head on his chest.
“Just letting Shawn know were not gonna be able to make it.” 
“Oh my god! His party, I’m sorry, I’ll get ready.” She starts to move. 
“No,” He whines, holding her close. “I don’t wanna go anymore. Just wanna lay with you and watch you read.” 
“Watch me?” 
“You’re pretty, and you’re my muse, and I need some inspiration. Just read your book, I won’t bug you I promise.” He kissing her nose before settling back against the headboard.
//
written by: @shawnm521 
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dontworrysunflower · 4 years
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I’ll Be Home for Christmas | v. (final)
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welp...this is the end. i know it’s like way way WAY too late to post anything christmas themed but i wanted to get this done so i could work on some other things (which is a lot). anyways, thanks for sticking around and hope this is okay, it was kind of rushed and i would think of something and then completely forget about it the next second so i might be suffering for short term memory loss?? but anyways enjoy! OH ALSO i accidentally deleted one of my old fics so imma have to rewrite it so look out for an updated ‘First Date’ fic!
Warnings: horrible rushed writing, angst, tears
Word Count: almost 2.2k
Enjoy! previous parts in my shawn masterlist
•••
“You’re gonna be fine, Mariah.” Tilly said calmly over facetime, hoping her soothing voice would calm down the girl that was rapidly pacing her room hours before the party.
“I don’t know, Tilly. What if,” she snatched her phone off her desk and shoved her face into it, the only thing on Tilly’s screen were Mariah’s eyes. “what if he hates me for what I said to him? Now he realized I’m really not the one for him and he goes off to see some other girl again. This is all because I was too fucking scared.”
Tilly sighs. “It is because you were so scared.”
Mariah gives her a pointed look. “You’re not helping here Til.”
“Look M. At the end of the day you guys both obviously love each other and need to talk things out. So just listen to him. And he’ll listen to you. Because I know he’s suffered just as much as you have. But both of you need to give each other a chance to be happy with each other.”
Mariah sighs and sits on her bed. “But what if it doesn’t work out?”
Tilly chuckles. “But what if it does?”
Mariah rubs her face and looks at Tilly on her screen. “Why did you have to leave me when I need you most?” She joked, a sly smile on her face.
Tilly feigned shock. “I have family too ya know.”
They both laugh. Then a silence washes over the two girls.
“Just,” Tilly starts, her face soft with concern. “I want you to be happy. And if that’s with him then never let it go because there is no one like him.”
Mariah gave her a smile. “Thanks Til.”
There’s a yell on Tilly’s side. “Well I gotta go. Good luck and call me tomorrow!”
Mariah nods before the call ends. She stared at herself on her phone screen, the look of fear, and some hope.
“Mariah! Thirty minutes!”
Mariah walked over to her closet. She didn’t want to dress up, didn’t want to make it seem like she was desperate, because she’s not.
I don’t think anyone is more right for my brother than you are
Aaliyah’s words have not left her mind. The feeling of regret has eaten her up. She feels bad for getting mad at him, but could you blame her? He left her after an amazing night for someone else for publicity. She wanted to run back in his arms and forgive him, give him all of the affection they both have been craving from the other. But she can’t. It’s not like her to just give up easily, to just fall on her knees for a guy when he finally notices her. She grew up with only her mom, and she learned the hard way not to just give men what they want.
And even though she does want the certain guy, she needed to see him fight harder for it, for them.
But she has to work harder too.
She was mad at first, but now, she has to fight.
What a christmas this was going to be.
•••
There was soft muffled music playing just outside the Mendes household. Cars were parked on the side of the street, people visiting on this christmas eve.
“I think you can just-” her mom said as she opened the door, holding a dish of food with the other against her hip.
The warmth rushes past Mariah's shoulders, soft holiday music filling her ears, kids yelling and adults laughing and drinking come into view.
“Mariah? C’mon sweetie.” Her mom said, beckoning her further into the home.
She looked down at the carpeted group as she took off her coat, hoping no one noticed her and brought attention to her.
“Mariah!” She hears Karen’s chirpy voice shouted. She had a tray of food in her hand, a christmas themed apron around her waist.
Mariah flashed her a tight lipped smile and walked the small distance to her, giving her a side hug. “Merry Christmas, Karen.”
“And to you, love. Would you like anything to drink?” She put the tray down and wiped her hands off on the apron.
“Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll find my way around.” Mariah insisted, waving off the older woman.
Karen gave her a pointed look, but picked up the tray again and smiled at her sweetly. “Well, this is your home, so make yourself comfortable.”
She smiled back and walked into the kitchen, watching as other people put food on plates and opened drinks. Parents serving their kids food, the kids faces scrunching up as they watch their parents put food on their plate they don’t like.
“Hey Mari.” Mariah turned to see Aaliyah, smiles at her and holding a soda in her hand.
“No boyfriend today?” Mariah teased, picking at the end of the table.
Aaliyah laughs and sips at her soda. “Unfortunately no, he went to visit his family in Edmonton.”
Mariah nods and looks down at her fingers, not knowing what else to say. Where is Shawn?
“He’s on his way.” Aaliyah said out of nowhere, as if she was reading her mind.
“Oh, I-uh I wasn’t going to ask.”
“No I know,” Aaliyah started, her eyebrows raised. “just, thought I’d let you know.”
“Okay.” She breathed out nervously, turning around to pour herself a drink.
•••
After a while, and Mariah has a couple of drinks in her system, her ears perk up when everyone lets out a loud cheer and the front door slamming.
Wait, I’m not ready. She thought.
Mariah hurriedly gulps down her drink, eyes wide in panic. She runs to the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind her as the yelps calmed down.
“Honey, are you okay?” Her mother knocked on the wooden door, her voice laced in worry.
Mariah scratches her neck in nervousness. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute.”
She waits to hear the footsteps fade before letting out a loud, exasperated breath. She digs her fingers in her hair, eyes bulging, lips chapped from her heavy breathing.
She’s not ready. He hates her for how she reacted. He tried explaining but she kept interrupting him. She waited for this moment for so long and she doesn’t know if she’s ready. He could have completely changed his mind in a day and went back to her, he could have forgotten all about her.
But she won’t know unless she talks to him.
So she straightens out her shirt and unlocks the door, bravely swinging it open to the dark hallway. She sighs heavily, “You can do this.” Mariah softly repeated to herself as she walked into the light of the living room.
And there he was, his tall lanky self walking around greeting everyone. He gets to her mom and as he hugged her he must have whispered something in her ear, because she gives him a knowing smile and points to Mariah.
Shawn stands up straight and flashes her a smile before giving her a little wave before he disappears into the kitchen.
Maria walks further into the living room and thrusts herself into a conversation with one of his aunts, distracting herself.
•••
After a while, a little past midnight, everyone gathers in the living room to share gifts. Aaliyah sat on Mariah’s right while her mom sat on her left. Mariah’s eyes never left Shawn’s figure as he walked into the living room, his tattooed hand holding the neck of a beer bottle, his cheeks rosy from all of the alcohol, his smile wide as he laughed along one of his cousins.
Mariah and Shawn lock eyes for a split second before she looks away and he clears his throat, sitting on the edge of the ottoman across from her.
“Before we get to passing out the gifts,” Karen started as she sat on the floor by Manny’s feet, her arm locked around his leg. “Shawn has to sing his annual christmas song of choice.”
Everyone cheers and claps and Shawn gives his mom a pointed look as someone came behind him and handed him a guitar.
He situated the instrument on his lap and strummed a couple of chords, tuning the guitar. “Any suggestions?”
No one spoke up, people looking around and raising eyebrows at each other. “You choose!” Someone shouted.
Shawn’s brows furrowed as he continued to play with the guitar. Mariah could see his eyes widen in realization as he fixed the guitar on his lap and cleared his throat.
“I’ll be home for christmas, you can count on me. Please have snow and mistletoe,” His eyes flickered up to meet Mariah’s, his fingers plucking each string. “and presents underneath the tree.”
Mariah sucked in a breath, her clammy hands rubbing against her jeans.
“Christmas eve will find me, where the love light gleams. I’ll be home for christmas, and you’ll be in my dreams.”
His eyes were still trained on her as he absentmindedly played every guitar string. Her mind was racing and her heart was beating rapidly as he gazed at her and continued to sing.
“I’ll be home this christmas, darling, I’ll be coming home to you. And there’s nothing in the world, gonna get in my way.”
And suddenly it’s too much for Mariah to take. His stare on her boring holes into her. The words he’s singing hitting her aching heart are too hard for you to handle. She heaves, her hand clutching her shirt to keep the tears in as she runs off.
She hears the gasps and whispered questions as she runs off the back porch, her breath visible in the cold winter air.
She looks out onto the grass, trying to calm her breathing and to stop the tears before they fall down her face when she hears the door slide behind her, heavy feet crunching the snow beneath them.
“Mariah-” His voice was rigid and hoarse from the alcohol and the singing, but she can hear the disparo in his voice, the sadness, the guilt and all she wants to do is turn around and hug the life out of him, but she can’t. She needs to know how he feels before she can do anything.
“I’m sorry.” She interrupted, her voice shaking as she sobbed, the hot tears blurring her vision of the white landscape.
“No honey,” He starts, his hand coming around her to hold her close. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You-you acted exactly how I thought you would and I’m sorry I took you for granted. I was a complete dick for how I treated you and you have every right to be mad at me.” He stroked her arm as she sobbed into his chest, his lips grazing her hair in a sweet kiss.
She calms her breathing before she can think of what to say, his warm embrace bringing her back to reality. “Why didn't you just tell me the truth in the first place?” She sniffed, her arms moving to wipe at her cheeks.
He sighed against her hair. “I guess, I always thought you’d be there for me and I took that for granted. I never meant to hurt you.”
It was silent between them for a while, their minds racing with every little thought they had that could be put into words.
“I want to be with you, more than anything.” He broke the silence, his hand coming up to stroke her hair. “And I will spend the rest of my days showing you just how much you mean to me and how much I cherish you and need you.” He pulls away to cup her face, his fingers warm against the cold tears on her cheeks. “I need you in my life. More than anything and I understand if you want to be friends but I cannot live in a world without you, I refuse to. I’m sorry for all of the shit I’ve caused, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to explain sooner, but I’m here now, and so ready to have you,” He paused, his eyes trailing over her face. “if you’ll have me?”
Mariah stares at him for what feels like hours but it was only a couple of seconds before she lunges further into his arms and kisses him like it’s been a thousand years (it has).
She lets the tears fall against she feels his own start to fall in mix with her as they kiss, teary smiles and laughs between the two as they pull away.
“I want you more than anything.” Mariah sobbed. “I want you through the bad and the good and the ugly, just all of you.”
He nods vigorously in agreement, his smile taking over his face. He cups her face again and pulls her back in a chilly kiss.
After a while of just kissing, they resorted to hugging when their lips were too swollen to continue their attack on the others.
Mariah sighed contently into his shoulder, squeezing him tighter.
“I’m so glad you came home for christmas.”
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myshawningstar · 4 years
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𝐵𝓊𝓉𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒻𝓁𝓎 𝒦𝒾𝓈𝓈𝑒𝓈 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉
~𝗦𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆~
You have the ability to make people to fall in love with you, but only after you kiss them. What happens when you have a chance to meet singer/songwriter Shawn Mendes at a meet and greet?
𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸
𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸𝙸
𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸𝙸𝙸
𝙿𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝙸𝚅
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