#shaysaysshit

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I think about human Markus having knee pain/past knee surgeries, poor vision in one eye and an arrhythmia a lot more than I should.

But it totally makes ✨sense✨ to me.

#rk200 #markus #Markus Manfred #dbh Markus #dbh headcanons #human!Markus #human au #shaysaysshit

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Hi! Here’s my idea building off your soldier!markus concept! First of all, I’m loving this soldier!markus (I was in the CoD fandom for a time, so this sparks joy xD). That being said, however, Markus had ultimately developed some mental health problems due to the trauma he endured (nightmares, depression, ptsd, survivors guilt), which resulted in his discharge. He later returned to Carl, his adoptive father, to live with him for a bit while he tried to recover and sort out what he would do from here on out. Carl had gotten him into painting, which for Markus, started as a form of therapy, and ultimately turned into his career. But when Carl passes away, Markus’ mental health takes a turn for the worst once more, as he feels absolutely alone, and art isn’t enough to help him work through his trauma. Connor, even though he has his own internal struggles as well that differ greatly from Markus’, understands what it’s like to be filled with hurt that never goes away, and with Connor by his side, Markus feels this lonely gap in his life being filled.

OH MY GOD. That actually melted my whole heart!

If there is one thing I live for, it's representation of how much these two have actually gone through. Markus especially. While he's such a strong character, the amount that he has to go through every day... Yeesh. As a soldier it's so similar because of all that you mentioned he's suffering from, it fits his character spot on in my humble opinion.

THE PAINTING PART!!!!!!!! ART. IS. SO. IMPORTANT. TO. HIM. Every AU, every DIVERGENT, keeping art with Markus is A++ so that like totally got me. It's in his roots, it's in his life SOMEHOW. It's close to him and represents Carl so double bonus points. Even if there is bittersweet grief because it's absolutely therapeutic but also such a strong reminder of him so freshly passing.

I absolutely love Connor understanding. Having this depth about him that works so perfectly with Markus' and reminds him every now and then that he isn't alone. That no matter how brave, how strong he is that there's still someone to support him. Not just on a level of rationality but helping teach Markus that he isn't on the battle field anymore. He isn't constantly one wrong move away from someone losing their life or one order, one command away from absolute disaster beyond his fathomable control.

He's here, with him, in the present and there's someone who knows how absolutely terrible it is to feel those things. They know because they've felt it themselves. Maybe they both learn a little along the way.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. I LOVE HIM. I LOVE THEM. I'm madly smitten with Soldier!Markus now and this just solidified my entire existence. THANK YOU FOR DOING THE LORDS WORK 😍 please keep me posted/tagged if you write this out or make more posts about it because i'm thirsty af when it comes to rk1k content and this idea is absolute gold

#rk1k #rk1000 #dbh Markus #dbh Connor #conkus #markus/connor #markus x connor #shaysaysshit #answered asks #charlietheastr0naut #this is outrageously good #this is what I live for #top tier content #Soldier!Markus

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So like... I finally caught a break on the box-boy AU for Connor and Markus since it won the vote. I was very, very stuck despite having like a good idea of where I wanted to go? Of course plenty of dehumanized/broken down Connor but...

I then became torn between having Markus' human injuries be from a simple car accident or having them come from being a deployed soldier.

Well I think we both know which one has the possibility of being far more intense and dramatic. And which one is much more befitting of Markus. 😌 I'm also making Leo a well intentioned but insufferable fool as he should be.

#rk1k #rk1000 #shaysaysshit #dbh Markus #dbh Connor

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For box boy AU, I wonder if you would consider Markus having prosthetic leg, or legs 👉👈

WOULD I?! 😍 Of COURSE.

...wow. what a concept though, what a potential for sacrifice on the battlefield. My brain already took off with so many scenarios. 👀 I was going to injure his legs some how but I think that hits the spot better! Way better than a double knee replacement that I wasn't sure how I was going to tie in. It also gives plenty of place for phantom pain and some very specific nightmares if the cards are played right.

So far he's blind and deaf on the right side, tachycardia/arrhythmia for the heart (I really haven't decided and need to study a little more) and he'll be an amputee with prosthetic legs. 🥰 I can't choose just one so I'm just sticking to the original double leg injury.

This suggestion is GOLD and I think it will help give an excuse to pile the hurt on the comfort. 🥺

#rk1k #rk1000 #conkus #soldier!Markus #box boy au #bbu #shaysaysshit #answered asks #mimorugk

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Lucy = Markus' therapist in box boy au. (To help with his PTSD from being deployed in my hc. Connor's too in the future because we're pro-recovery around here. (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

Do not change my mind.

#dbh Markus #dbh Lucy #rk1k #rk1000 #shaysaysshit #unlike my connor's on coke story #i really wanna think this one out before I do it to it #also don't expect like... smut because that's not gonna happen with how badly Connor's psyche is damaged #sorry not sorry but this is going to make ya'll hurt in the feelings bc if I'm not crying while i'm writing it i'm writing it wrong #but at least they can recover ✨together✨

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$UICIDEBOY$: jksfahkjshfjah ajkdfhjhflajhfjahf jkfhaljfhalhf FUCK aijhfjhflhfah FUCK asjdkfhajlf

me: this song sure is a fucking bop : ^ ) wow i love it

#shaysaysshit #personal #am i the only one #suicideboys #$uicideboy$ #i'm not original I swear i've seen memes like this before #but I'm just here to say that it's really real #i love them but i don't understand shit until i look up the lyrics #from the beginning of time to the end of time is the exact song that makes me think of incoherent mubling #but i love them still

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So now that I've gotten over my aggressive, filthy smut to start off the writing season.

I've had a Markus and Connor tinder date (like actual date not sex) fic started and like 70% done for so long.. ITS GONNA BE SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME IF I CAN JUST GET IT GOING 🥺🥺🥺

pls wish me luck because it's the cutest thing I've ever fucking written but I have so many fics in progress I'm mildly overwhelmed /@ _ @/

Should I make a poll maybe to like- see what is more interesting to everyone?? I love them all so much I have trouble deciding..😭 (I also have executive function issues so that's even worse)

#rk1k #rk1000 #shaysaysshit

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Why the fuck do I have such bad

🤬💣✂️ Writers block ✂️💣🤬

#shaysaysshit #writing things #writers block #writing

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Sometimes I think of really soft, nurturing moments between Connor and North and I just... 🥺 I really love the idea of them being close. 😭

#fandom #dbh #North #Connor #shaysaysshit

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am I the only person with romance progression issues??? or do your characters fall in love within 5 chapters or less too??? 😭 If they're meant to be they're meant to be??!?!??

someone also once told me this was impatience but idk about all that

#shaysaysshit #shutupshay #writing

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Oh to go with the amputee, if he only has one leg then maybe he can use forearm crutches (something I use), or sometimes a wheelchair or even just a simple cane (or even a walker cause those things a great)

Ah!! Anon!

I was actually just recently thinking about keeping Carl having had his accident, so the house would already be set up for him. Keep the super cool (and fast) stair-climber/wheel-chair set up. (My mom used to have an old stair track but it never worked that smoothly so I totally geeked out over Carl's ngl.)

I imagine it takes him a good while to use the leg/legs so he would use it to get around the house for the first little bit. And you're totally right! I completely forgot about crutches and forearm crutches; canes, walkers. All those versatile mobility items.

Thank you so much for the reminder! I need to keep all the resources around that he'd use or be offered in the different stages, so this was super duper helpful. If you think of anything else along the way that might be in his house/used/help facilitate him a little better; I do want this to represent as correctly as possible so please feel free to share! (DM's are always open, anon is welcomed!) xoxo

#answered ask #anon answers #soldier!markus #shaysaysshit #Thank you so much omg I really appreciate it #I want this to be realistic as I try to do with all my real-life based stories #so if you think of anything or have any pointers it would really be appreciated #i do have a good deal of experience with disability but it's all second hand so I am going out on a little bit of a limb to do this #but like its a real thing that happens and it should get representation just like anything else is my thought #any help is greatly appreciated like you have no idea

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Rambles of a Broken Heart

I love you.

I love you so much it hurts. When we don't share good mornings, I miss it. But sometimes I'm too stubborn and feel forgotten instead. I never get quick responses from you, sometimes I wait hours in between and it hurts. But I can't stop responding as soon as I see it. When you come to me with a problem, excitement fills my chest because I know you'll talk quickly. We'll exchange back and forth until I soothe your problems away and we fade back into a lingering roar.

Three years have passed. I hoped it would go away, like crushes usually do. But this one has stayed and is so deeply rooted, it feels as though it will never leave. Always nagging, digging at the edges of my heart until I can't ignore it and can only sob in question.

I've done all that I can to express myself. I still do all that I can to love and support you, even when you're loving someone else. Just like the tattoo on your shoulder, your hand is printed on my heart. I fill with doubts when I can't manage to reach you and I know it's wrong of me.

I should be happy that you're in my life.

I should be content with keeping any reflection of you. The gifts you've given me, where my eyes can't linger for too long without tears.

I filled the journal you gave me with more longing. With more rambles from my broken heart.

#personal #writing #anti love letter #journal entry #shaysaysshit #tw heartbreak #tw sad thoughts #tw anti love #may delete this later idk

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I think my favorite random head-canon for D:BH is the fact that Chloe is modeled after someone Elijah thought fondly of. 

An ex girlfriend; a crush, a woman that he admired from afar?

He used Amanda’s image so what’s so far fetched? Plus it’s a little odd that she has TWO models of the same face-claim. ST and RT. Not to mention that he chooses to surround himself by that model ONLY or so it seems. 

I JUST THINK IT WOULD BE SUPER CUTE OKAY?! Nervous little Elijah making a subconscious likeness to a crush he never had the nerve to talk to; because she was just that beautiful and burnt into his mind.

Maybe it’s him making his ideal woman? Like that’s HIS type since he’s such a low-key hermit.

 Probably has self esteem issues seeing as he’s so obsessed with beauty and later in life, himself.

On a darker note could you imagine it being homage to a lost friend/flame? He wanted to see them beautiful forever. He even mentions that the beauty will never fade/that they’ll stay young forever. 

Or perhaps another tribute to someone who helped him a lot through school, someone that was kind to him and held a place in his heart. Never imagining that he’d get anywhere with his androids so what would be the harm. I can’t see him as being a very openly affectionate person so maybe it was his weird way of showing his gratitude in his process. 

I could literally go on this train-track for years if someone doesn’t stop me. I have wild day-dream fantasies of this man and I NEED TO BE RESCUED.

#Elijah Kamski #dbh #random headcanons #random dbh #fandom #Elijah #Kamski #detroit: become human #shaysaysshit #LIKE I LOVE THE IDEA THAT HE'S JUST SMITTEN WITH THE LOOK OF THIS ANDROID #NOT THAT HE DOESN'T HAVE A PROBLEM SHOOTING IT OR LETTING SOMEONE SHOOT IT #BUT THAT HE IMMORTALIZED SOMEONE FOREVER THE WAY HE REMEMBERS THEM #ugh i'll shut the fuck up now

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Do you ever research the fun out of writing? I SURE DO.

IDK WHY MY DUMB ASS THINKS I HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE FOR EVERY FIC I WRITE ON SOMETHING. BUT HERE I AM.

Sucking the fun out of everything by studying the subjects too hard.

#shaysaysshit #i wanna be accurate though #i studied so much on addiction when it came to between these white lines #so many dozens of articles and information pages #and it takes so long it really kills the joy #i wish i could just do whatever and be okay with that AHAHAHAHA

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Woah, sorry for the long radio silence. Been caught up in every day life, work has been catching up to me and this year has been super dry for inspiration. I’d like to be able to say “oh hey guys, I’m back” and dump about 10 finished stories on everyone but.. This year hasn’t quite worked out that way. While I am miles away from completion, I haven’t fallen off the bandwagon yet. So keep the dreams alive guys.

A quick shout out to say thank-you to everyone who has/is/will be following me and I promise I’ll sift through my feed and get some more content flowing or maybe just reblog some of my old works to keep appearing on everyone’s dash. Again, thank you for your patience and amazingly, people are still finding my most recent RK1K fictions and sending them some love. So I really can’t express my gratitude enough that I’m still on the radar. 

I’ve got a lot of big plans this year and I really hope I will get a chance to share them all with you but for right now; it’s grind time. The things I want to start doing aren’t cheap and in order to have everything I need, it’s hustle time but rest-assured the pieces are being put together!

So yeah, just as a quick update, I’m absent but not forever! There will be more stories and more content to look forward to and everyone’s extreme patience with me has been amazing. I love my little archive/tumblr family. 

Until the next one and as always, stay frosty guys XOXO

#shaysaysshit #personal #update #3-11-21

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Why did I spend 4 hours of my life trying to get an overwatch skin on ps4??? THAT I ALREADY GOT FOR XBOX TF

#Shutupshay #shaysaysshit