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bijoulilou · 5 years

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If Jude's parents still lived pt 3

Days had passed since that night. When I awoke, I was in my own bed, Taryn sprawled on the floor. I had deduced that we had come through my bedroom window on the second floor. Vivi answered my question by throwing it open herself and crawling through gracefully. She had given me a triumphant expression that I couldn't help but complement with a tired but relieved smile.

I didn't bother running that morning or any other after that. Dad noticed right away and asked if something was wrong. I merely replied that I was exhausted. But it wasn't true. None of it was. As I sat at my desk taking notes for history, my mind starts to wonder if I should join a gym or run around the track something falls out of my book. My eyes widen and I slowly reach to pick it up off the floor.

A black feather, the plumage so dark its iridescence shines between a purple and blue twirls between my fingers. I look up to see if anyone notices but they don't. I quickly place it beneath my notebook and turn the page to continue with lecture. There are scribbles there, too elegant to be my own, written anecdotes that don't make any sense. At least not to others like me. At end of the page there's a familiar one, Tayrn and I used to wonder aloud what it meant growing up and Vivi would tease us with a possible answer.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

I remember Cardan tangling his arms through my own as we danced. The honeyed wine I was warned against drinking, the hungry eyes that gathered around and reveled in my humaness. How tired I became and the way we sat and talked for what seemed forever.

I glance at the page until class is over, I try to push the thought of it out of my head for the rest of day. After school, practice is a welcome distraction from the constant buzz of senior nonsense. During this time I don't have to worry about college admission, scholarships or be invested in Taryn's clique drama. She eats up the attention and admiration from everyone, particularly when she gets casted for a lead in a play. When we went back to public school, there was this expectation that it was going to be weird. After watching hours of television, with plotlines revolving around outsiders being rebuked by the general pop--it was natural to be wary. But no, not many people cared if we were homeschooled for a bit. They found us interesting and entertaining. I remember Taryn glowing with pride when our classmates would invite us over to their table for lunch or to hang out after pickup. I was bored and preferred Dad showing me his creations or mom her medicines. It amazes me how right the weapons always felt in my hand, especially the weight of the sword. Dad beamed and said I looked like a knight, I think that's why I took to sports so easily, I played other sports in the off season to stay in shape and ready. Mom would lecture us when we'd play with wooden swords about strategy and cunning. Vivi would leave the room, she didn't want to hear stories of battles that didn't happen or the undercut ways to win wars. But the way mom would describe would sound so real, she'd stop talking about when dad came in the room. Mom would wipe us with poultice and make us strands of hawthorn and rowan berries when we'd play in the woods. After we started hanging out with other children she'd stop doing it as much.

A teammate of mine had tackled the lights out of me, I felt the wind get wicked out of my lungs. This wasn't like me, to be here but not totally here. To be absentminded.

In the locker room, after a very long cold shower and scaring some of my teammates with my scowl, I slowly get dressed.

"Pick your poison." Katie, dark haired with deep bronze skin holds up a kinesthetic tape and baby aspirin. I pick the aspirin, taking two with a swig from my water bottle. Katie hands me the tape anyway and I reluctantly start to wrap up my ribs, hissing during the process. The phrase sticks in my head, like a rhyme.

Pick your poison.Pick your Poison.Pick your--

"Do you want to go to Laken's party tonight?" Mara asks us. She's the one that tackled me out on the field, she gives me an apologetic expression. I throw a pair of dirty socks at her and call it even. Mara accepts this with a wrinkled nose and sits next to me, waiting for our answer. Katie nods, we were going to go hang out at a coffee shop and do homework. But after today, I can blow some steam.

"Let me just drop off my bag at home at first." They both give me an unimpressed eye roll. They suspect that I'll bail, I'm not a huge fan of Laken's parties. They tend to get out of hand, not in a fun way either. "I gotta run it by parents first, you guys know how my mom hates texts."

They nod. It's only half true that , mom hates when we text her, she'd prefer seeing our faces with face time or in person. She's been wary about us being on our own as we get older. Dad usually covers for us, like he did for that night in woods. He thinks mom worries too much.

"Hey Jude, there's someone here for you." One of the junior girls notifies me. My brow furrows in frustration. Taryn can be a real priss sometimes, she detests coming into the locker room. Taryn complains of the smell, but I swear the boys locker room's stench wafts all the way to the tennis courts.

Katie gives annoyed snort, " That sister of yours is a piece of work."

Before I can defend Taryn, Mara interrupts and says she'll walk me out and makes us confirm that we'll meet up later. Katie and I give a half hearted okay. When I try to hand Katie back her wrap she tells me to keep it. I give her a thanks, which is rare. We call it a truce.

As we're walking out Mara starts to ask me what's the deal between Katie and Taryn. I explain that those two have always been at odds since middle school. Taryn accuses her of being a nag and a bore, Katie says that she's pushy and manipulative. Mara sighs, but before she can say anything, a slight girl with thick cloud of white hair greets me. Except she's not a girl.

Mara waves goodbye, telling me she'll hopefully see me later at Laken's party. My visitor greets me but I can see through disguise. A boy in passing gives her a hooded look, she responds by winking. As she retrieves a beanie from her back pocket, he looks back repeatedly hoping to catch her eye. She's oblivious, or probably doesn't care, as she asks me to follow her. Without hesitation, she grabs my hand to lead me anyway.

Not sure why, but I follow her. I could easily take her, magical being or not. We walk the past tennis courts cutting through the now empty fields to some abandoned benches. There's a slumped figure sipping what seems like a slurpee, the closer I get i can see that he isn't human either. His crooked nose hangs at a strange angle while his skin has unhealthy green gleam beneath it. I ask if he's alright and she grins like it's a joke. She whistles and he looks up but I see another figure shoots up like a bullet.

I stop, unable to help my jaw from dropping. Its Cardan dressed in casual clothes like his companions.

"Are you all actually dressed in regular clothes or is that glamour?" The three of them stiffen. "Is everyone really that surprised that I figured that out? I mean my sister is one of you. Half of you?" I wave off that math problem and face the one at hand.

"Ah. Yes and no." Cardan admits, the other two don't know how to process his open honesty. He makes introductions, "These are my acquaintances, I trust them with most things and I hope you do the same. This is the Bomb and the Roach." The male does a little curtsey while the female does a flourish with her hat as she bows.

"Fancy," I admonish," I am Jude as you all know." I bend my knees a little and awkwardly wave. Cardan beams and I start to notice all the little details. He's wearing an outfit that seems oddly familiar with a few tags sticking out. The Bomb and the Roach's attire look worn and inconspicuous.

"Funny, I would have thought you referred to as the Queen." The Roach points one of my many embellished sweaters I have on. An oversized maroon pullover with my nickname scrawled in gold on the sleeves and crown on my chest. Dad gave it to me for Christmas. There's a knitted cal that's meant to look like a crown at the back of my closet. I wear that after a game to show good sportsmanship.

"Yeah. Hey, I've seen that before. Did you get that off a mannequin at Target?" I squint and start to pull off the tags. Yep, definitely from Target. I notice the venti spiked black matte Starbucks cup in Cardan's hand. "DUDE! I've been saving up to get that. Where did you get this?"

"I just happened to come upon this today." Cardan casually shrugs but the way he phrases it sounds strange.

" You took this from someone didn't you." I can imagine him on his way out of the store with bags in hand, spotting this cup and taking someone's order.

"It was there in the open, nobody had claimed it. I assure you." Cardan rises and beckons me forward. "Did you get any of my messages?"

Before I could answer, the Bomb steps in. "Your highness, perhaps it be a better idea to have this conversation in closed quarters."

Cardan assess her but agrees with a tilt of his chin. "Jude, would you join me?" He extends his hand towards me as the other two turn to leave into the woods.

"Where? Wait where are they going?"

Cardan sighs and extends his hand again, "Do you trust me?"

Without hesitation I hand him my bag and say, "No. But I've got questions. Perhaps you can fill me in." I take his hand instead and start leading him away from the forest and start dialing my mom's number. I press a finger to my lips, gesturing for him to stay quiet. Mom picks up on the third ring, opting for face time.

"Hey mom. My friends and I are going out to eat and I might spend the night at Katie's. Laken's having a party." I roll my eyes at the last bit.

Mom tucks her hair behind her ears, revealing the seashell drop earrings Taryn gave her for mother's day. With a grimace, she calls Laken an awful child which prompts her to ask questions. Where's Taryn? Have I heard from Vivi? Why am I going to said awful child's thing if I detest it so much? What's the point of having so many children if they dont keep an eye for each other?

While I answer her questions with mostly shrugs and half hatched answers, Cardan observes the contents of my backpack. I throw my shoe at him, quickly hanging up before my mom can hear his disapproval.

"You should be so lucky." Cardan sighs and pulls on a beanie with my name emblazoned on it. Taryn made that so people don't confuse us, I'm not that narcissistic. "Ah, there it is. So you did get my messages." He flips through my notebooks and pulls out what looks like the feather I found in class today.

Cardan zips up my backpack while I decide what's the best course of action.

"Is it safer if we go to a human place to eat or your potential hide hole?" He cocks an eyebrow in my direction. "I only assume it's not where you actually live. I doubt I'm welcomed there."

Cardan fixes upon me, measuring my pause and I'm afraid he can hear how fast my heart is beating. I put my hand on my hips, relieved that I left my sports bag in my locker. All that weight might slow us down again.

"Let's go somewhere safe for the both of us." Cardan gestures and I take his hand to lead us to the diner.

We walk at a leisurely pace as Cardan takes in the sights and observing my kind in their natural habitats. We make it to the Moonlight diner to find it mostly empty. I lead Cardan to a booth and wait for the waitress to greet us.

Watching Cardan bounce on the seats and dump the sugar out of the canister prompts me to apologize and order water and napkins. The waitress is not amused by my companion's peculiar behavior. I mouth that he's an exchange student before she walks away. Cardan flips through the menu, catching the reflection off the laminated surface, he starts to flip it back and forth.

Repeatedly.

When the waitress returns I ask for more time. With an annoyed look she leaves us and I slam my hand to stop Cardan from playing with the menu.

"What do you recommend?" Cardan sits forward with his hands under his chin, upset that I ruined his fun.

"The cat tendencies with you." I point out and then quickly add,"If you have a sweet tooth then I suggest the pie a la mode or a milkshake." He holds a hand up and asks for both.

When she comes back I ask for two order of the pie, a vanilla milkshake, and coffee. I'm going to need the caffeine.

"So...where to begin?" I muse bringing the cup of black coffee to lips. My eyes flicker to his as he's sipping his water. Cardan makes a face but keeps sipping it anyway.

"Let's start with my unanswered messages." Right then the waitress, Cindee, as it says on her name tag brings Cardan his milkshake. An expression flies across her face as she catches the last bit of our conversation. She walks away thinned lipped, intrigued by our table.

With a clearing of my throat I explain that I haven't a clue about what he's referring to. I raise my legs to put my feet on his seat. Cardan's eyes fall on them and he asks about my knee. I tell him that it's better, I hardly notice it at all. What I don't tell him is that I saved the scrap of cloak that he wrapped it in. It's locked away in my jewelry box.

"Those riddles and rambling in my notebook...the feather, were those what you're referring to?"

Once again, Cindee chimes in with our food. When I thank her, she slowly retreats away to tend to somebody else.

"That and other things. What about the others? I had them delivered on your walk home and at your window." When he sees my confusion he reaches for my backpack and retrieves an acorn. Before I can ask how that got in there, he pops the top off and reveals a thin scroll of parchment with familiar scrawling.

"Is that why I keep finding acorns everywhere?!" I take it and hold it up to the light. Sure enough it's a message from Cardan about how he missed me for my morning run. Asking if he could join me. I try to imagine Cardan running and instantly laugh. He does not find this amusing.

"I sent them in pinecones and on ribbons. Imagine my surprise when I heard you finally came upon the ones I wrote upon your notebook. That's why I sent the Bomb to meet you. The Roach helped me blend in, you pointed out that my usual attire can be distracting."

"Sorry, I still can't wrap my head around the pinecone thing." There's a few that I found on the other side of my windowsill, one just this morning. Cardan makes crude noise. He tells me not to apologize ever to a faerie, especially himself. I reach for the extra milkshake cylinder and take a spoonful. Make sure to keep that in mind.

"What did you want to tell me that you couldn't tell me in person?"

One of Cardan's ears peek out of the beanie as he sips on his milkshake. I glance at it quickly before looking out the window. When we were little, Vivi let us touch her ears. The childish urge to trace them surfaces and I silently repress it. Sitting on my hands, I wait for his answer.

"I wanted to make sure that I was keeping up with my promise. You asked me to refrain from stalking you and I didn't want to offend you."

I turn to face him with a softened gaze, "Me too. I mean, I was half expecting you to show up at my window. I'm pretty sure Locke has been visiting my sister. Taryn doesn't want to admit that he can't tell us apart. " I recall how he called taped on my window one night and I threaten to push him off the roof.

Cardan bursts out laughing, the beanie falling off his head. Without missing a beat, he reaches to put it back on. His cheeks are rosy and I can't help the corners of my mouth from tilting up.

"I must admit, I was...wary of Locke being around. He tends to fancy himself a charmer."

I think back to the party, as Cardan and I conversed in the dark, from the corner of my eye I saw Locke talking with the blue haired girl.

"He doesn't sound like a good friend to me. I couldn't help but noticing the way the blue haired girl glared at us. They seemed to be talking half the night." I take a spoon and being to dig into my melting pie a la mode. "Was she an ex of yours?" I ask point blank.

Cardan frowns, "An ex?"

Taking a bite of the pie and melted cream, I supply the phrases 'ex-lover' and ''ex-girlfriend'. He nods and I can deduce that Locke had everything to do with it.

"Makes sense. I thought only girls on the field wanted to melt me with their eyes. Now I got a mermaid out to murder me."

Another chuckle leaves his lips, "It truly surprises me how quick you are." He uses his spoon to taste from my plate and I slap it away with my own. The metal clanging hirts my teeth but this is my life's honor I'm defending. He reaches for it anyway and I smack that back of his hand with my spoon this time. "Young lady, may I remind you that this is a prince you are dealing with. Most would find you bold--"

"Most do find me bold, dear prince." And I rapidly take a spoonful of his cherry pie and smile triumphantly at slight of hand.

Cardan does not find that amusing, "I've punished others for less you know." His voice is laden thick with warning and I serve him an equally cool tone.

"As have I. Though you are a prince, as funny as you may find, many consider me queen. This is my domain sort to speak and you are my guest. I expect you abide by our customs as most would yours."

His eyes darken at my words and he rapts his long fingers on the table. "If our roles were reversed and you were amongst my people instead of yours, would you pay me the expected respect of my title?"

"If you behaved as a faerie of your title should, with just and fairness?" I ask and he gives a little nod," If you didn't provoke or threaten my livelihood I might abide by those natural laws of your world. But that is neither here nor there. Besides, I can't imagine a situation were I would even get that close to you, much less be accepted under your court."

" Jude, even you with your lightly heeded title are respected amongst your peers. Though my kind are by your definition unpredictable but we still abide by rules and Mark's of respect. There are exceptions at my court, under my father's rule nothing quite surprises me. A human to be accepted as part of the gentry, it's not unheard of."

I'm not convinced, "Okay. Give me an example. A real example not something that you heard some inkling of from centuries before." I play with the last bits of my food the conversation turning my stomach as our light attitudes are dampened by what goes unsaid.

What a ridiculous notion, to fall in love with a person from a different world.

Cardan chooses his words carefully and he begins to trace the lines of my open palm. I've realized that he does this as a distraction and come to find all these excuses he makes to touch me. As if I might disappear like a whiff if smoke. He observes a garnet ring that I have on my ring finger. It belongs to my mom, theres an insignia on it. Honestly it could be anything for that matter.

"Actually, there was a general. A Red Cap that married a mortal." Cardan picks apart my fingers, memorizing their shape and intricate grooves. "I've been told that my mother was great friends with this woman, which is rare for such a mortal to not only be accepted but recognized as his legitimate wife. Those two would be at the center of it all causing mirth and chaos. One day the general comes back from battle to find his residence burned to the ground. His wife and child burned to ash."

I pull my hand away from the story. Something about it sounding so familiar. My voice is quiet and I manage to keep the quake out of it when I ask him to continue.

"Nobody knows. There are rumors that his enemies took advantage of his absence to take their revenge. Others say perhaps she had a spurned lover who committed a crime of passion." Cardan's eyes become engrossed with the outside world for a moment," But I believe otherwise. I'm convinced that our world, like for most humans, threatened to consume her and she ran away to start anew. Our ways are not for everyone you see. We fae are naturally violent and bloodthirsty. Our hedonistic lifestyles have lead many of then to abandoned their offspring to other faeries or creatures a like to look after them. Even at times switching us with human babies so that their parents can supply us with love and affection."

We stay silent, even as Cindee brings us our check and I hand her the money to pay. She returns with my change and I leave her a tip beneath the now empty sugar canister.

Cardan doesn't turn away instead he waits patiently for me to react or say anything. I don't do either but just sit there. My phone rings and Cardan's face finally breaks to retrieve my buzzing device. Its Taryn.

I quickly text back a response. Mom had told her that I left with some friends to go eat out before a party. She's making sure I meet up with her and that I wear something appropriate. I send her a snarky response and an illusive idk. Taryn quickly texts me back to no be lame and the time she expects me to be there. She's at a friend house getting ready it seems.

"I gotta go. Everyone's expecting me attend a kickback or whatever." I reach for my stuff and get up to leave. It takes a minute for me to go outside and process what he said. I'm not sure if the story sounds familiar or if it's a warning of what's to come if I choose to continue down this path.

Path? What am I going on a soul quest? No! I'm 17 and a senior in high school, waiting to go to college and figure out my life here. Nothing's changed. Except I met this weird boy whose definitely been stalking me for several months now. Sending me messages via pinecones and holding mybhand carrying my bag. The first part is off but the rest of it isn't anything new. I mean I've had boyfriends before that would do that stuff. Like Collin, he did that all the time before we broke up over the summer before college. Why I am worried about boy or whatever he is? This is dumb, my feminist foremothers did not--

"Jude are you okay?" Mara asks and I practically jump out of my skin.

While I was silently tail spinning, Mara and Katie happen to be going by. I'm not sure what I looked like, standing outside the Moonlight diner, staring at the void as all this new stuff came crashing down on me. But nonetheless, I'm glad they showed up when they did.

Katie and Mara share a moment before asking me where I'm headed. Katie's eyes narrow down at my backpack and she questions me about it. Just then, the last person that I wanted to be there decided to catch up with me. My friends do not hide their ogling as he butts in.

"Whose this?" Mara asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Oh this? This is Car-rigan. He's my new next door neighbor." Katie's sniper eyes move from my backpack back to me and then Cardan. Mara repeats the name that she was just given and Cardan promptly nods.

"That's what I'm called. It's a family name." Katie doesn't seem to buy it and asks where does he live because its obvious my family lives in every secluded area. "Its a hard to find but I can assure you it's back there."

They offer to give us a lift, that way we can all wait and leave for the party at the same time. I'm about to refuse until Cardan accepts their offer. As we get into the car, I worry if the amount of iron will kill him. But he seems unbothered by it for the most part. He reaches for my hand. I reflexively pull it way, still shaken by our conversation.

When we get to my door, they're surprised to see him follow me out. They offer to take him home but I decline. I'm surprised when they pull away, they text me that they were heading to moonlight diner for some grub anyway and just to text them when we were ready. Mara sent me a wink in our group chat and I had a hard time understanding what she meant.

Surprise surprise, my dad was out back. It was already dark but there was an half empty pizza box on the table. Typical. Cardan looked around, mystified by it all. There were drawings and portraits scattered throughout the house with pictures of all of us even Vivi. Recently there was a one of her and her girlfriend Heather on the fridge. Dad had wondered aloud if she should be included in our family Christmas card. Mom pointed out that we never had a family Christmas card.

"Yeah, it's an eclectic mix of bohemian meets OCD. It's like mom likes the idea of chaos but lives for rigid order. Don't get mud on the carpet, she'll skin you alive and show all her friends her rare pearl prince throw rug in the spring. "

I tell Cardan to wait there as I go upstairs. But I hear my dad call my name from the back porch and I grab Cardan's hand and race with him up the stairs. I shove him in my room and lean over the banister with a 'yeah dad?'. Dad pokes his head through the door way but doesn't move to join me. He thought it was me when he saw me through the window and he offers me pizza. From here I can just make out the graying temples of his hair, most men in his family gray early. He pushes his glasses that he seems to use more of now in older age, his olive skin with a smattering of freckles that make him seem younger than he is. Dad smiles and asks about my day. I give him mostly sincere answers and he tell me a bit about his. I'm trying not dance in panic because theres a boy/magical prince in my room. Dad doesn't catch on and waves me off to get ready. He informs me that mom is out with her friends so she's more than likely to come home buzzed and forgetful about curfew. Dad shrugs playfully and I giggle at his cleverness. The old man has it figured out.

When I hear the door close, watching dad's retreating figure return to his converted barn through the back porch window, I race back to my room. Cardan is casually sifting through my things, bauble earrings are threaded in his lobes and my knitted crown sits right above his head.

"You know it's really unfair how attractive you still manage to be when quite clearly look silly." I finally drop my bag and jump to lay on the bed. Cardan removes the earrings but not the crown before sitting beside me. In a flash I rip it off and replace it the hat from before. This time without tucking his ears. I nod at my handy work and lay down. Cardan doesn't move. At first. Eventually he moves to lay beside me, put feet dangling off the side of the bed.

"Now what?" Cardan asks but stay fixated on the ceiling. If I were to turn, there's no question what i would do. I would behave illogical as most girls would have done. But I Jude Duarte have no time to act illogical.

"This whole afternoon just came out of left field. It was unexpected. A pleasant un-expectation. Though I can't let it happen again." My voice sounds different but it's the tone I need to convey right now.

"Jude, look at me." Cardan's voice is soft but there's an edge to it like my own.

"If I do," I keep myself focused on this one spot above me, " will you kiss me?"

"If you allow me to do so, yes."

For a moment we don't move, my chest barely rising up and down nor do I hear the breathing of his. It almost startles me when Cardan begins to talk again. He's waving a thin piece of black almost gossamer fabric above me and I recognize what it is.

"Why did you keep this? I had earnestly believed this meant nothing to you. Just a simple bandage." He is about to toss it when I take it from him, his fingers quick to tangle with mine. "Jude?" Cardan asks softly.

I close my eyes as I admit "After the night, when I woke up in my room. I kept it as a reminder that that night was real. In case I ever forgot to keep my word."

"A reminder of my favor." There's a dulcet tone to his voice as he says my name again but I stay fixed upon the ceiling. It isn't until he start to kiss my fingers, palms then wrists. The controlled yet hungry manner he rolls up till we see chest to chest and he buries his hands in my hair.

For a moment, I allow myself to be young foolish and illogical. But even I have a hard time swallowing that lie.

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