#she broke her sternum and needs to fucking rest
Text
Killer Cookie
A/n: I finally finished and I don’t know what else to say but I hope you love reading this since it’s the last part
Word count: 3.3k
summary: You get into a fight at school and Hailey helps you and your brother to stop fighting
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It was a chilly, no… freezing day in Chicago. It was snowing but not as much currently because the storm is supposed to hit later tonight.
You decided to walk to the firehouse instead of riding the bus because you didn’t feel like hearing everyone screaming whenever the bus would almost crash, even though you were one of those people with your friends.
Your class won a food party because they collected the most votes on the door decoration contest. Luckily none of the food had strawberries. Because you are deathly allergic to strawberries and always needed an EpiPen with you just in case.
Which reminded you to tell Will or Jay that you needed a new one since you lost your last one when you went out sledding with them.
But when you opened your locker to get your backpack and Jacket there was a box of chocolate chip cookies.
~inside the box
don’t worry there’s no strawberries,
-secret admire ;)
You screamed internally because you lived for Chocolate chip cookies, and you had a secret admirer?
***
On your way home you were starving since you didn’t eat much at school, only really some fries from the restaurant.
So you decided to eat 2 cookies and let everyone else fight for the rest, they were yours after all.
Opening the box carefully so you didn’t drop the box and whatever was in your hands.
You shoved the whistle cookie in your mouth. You may do girl things but you eat like a grown man, especially a football player.
Not even 10 seconds after swallowing the cookie your throat started to feel dry and you couldn’t breath
(Give me a break today this is all going to be in mine right now)
“Shit. There’s no strawberries in these, unless.” You picked up a cookie and broke it in half. “What kind of psycho put strawberries in chocolate? I- I need to get t-to the house”
***
You basically pushed everyone aside who tried to greet you and rushed to the kitchen.
“Ayy, Y/n how’s my favorite Halstead sibling doing” Kelly joked
Jay hit Kelly in the elbow hard. “C'mon man it was a joke, I can have favorites”
“Nah, I see how it is, guess I’m never bringing food over here again. And you can keep Y/n forever then” Jay shrugged.
“I was just trying to cheer her up, she looks upset” Kelly usually payed attention to
Your face whenever you came in. He would know if it was ok to make jokes or he needed to pull you to the side and talk to you. Right now you are upset but that’s because you weren’t processing anything.
But clearly ignoring everyone was for nothing because you barely made it to your drawer of the kitchen before you fell and your backpack cushioned your fall.
At least you didn't hit your head.
“Y/n you good?” Jay stood up from the chair he was sitting at. This was so unlike you. You always came in and said “Hi” or “Hello” to everyone whether or not you were having a bad day
“Y/n?… SHIT Y/N!”Jay screamed
“Take her back pack off,” Matt said. “What’s wrong with her? She turning blue”. Someone else’s voice came out from the other 10 voices.
“Give her CPR or something” Jay spoke as Kelly was rubbing your sternum.
“Jay we don’t know what’s wrong with her let alone why she’s turning blue it could be the cold” Kelly said “cmon y/n come back to us”
“I DONT CARE TJATS MY FUCKING SISTER WHOS DYING.” Jay roared.
Hailey practically runs in due to all the commotion with Stella and Sylvie right behind her
Sylvie and Stella ran over to you and started assessing you while Stella started CPR.
Hailey walked over your bag which was thrown a few feet away from you and decided to go pick it up, to help out.
Hailey picked up the box and your backpack so it was out of the way but when she looked in the box she saw something that she thought you wouldn’t have.
“Shit, where does Y/n keep all her stuff in here” Hailey was looking at both Sylvie and Stella but she hoped at least both of them would answer.
“Uhh bottom drawer far left”
Hailey rummaged through the draw until she found a tube with a bright orange tip. And sprinted to you and pushed everyone out of the way.
As everyone was yelling at Hailey like she was crazy she rolled up your pant legs and Jabbed the Epi Pen in the middle of your thigh.
“HAILEY ARE YOU CRAZY? WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER” Jay screamed
“Strawberries- she had strawberries” She sighed
***
My head feels like it’s underwater
Everything seems so muffled
What-what happened?
Your eyes flutter open and immediately shut them due to the light.
“C'mon y/n come on back to us” a soft voice says
“Give her space guys” as time goes on the voices get louder and it forces you to open your eyes.
“Just rest, we’re not gonna push you to talk, we’ll talk at home. We’re gonna leave soon”
Hailey had to go home while you were passed out because she had an early shift tomorrow so Will drove over to the firehouse to come and get both you and Jay.
“How is she?” Jay looked in his rear view mirror to see you guys.
Will checked your pulse again and looked at the watch on his wrist “her pulse is better but her breathing is slow, I might give her oxygen when we get home”
“Why would she eat strawberries?”
“They were cookie Jay, maybe she didn’t know. It happens”
“Well it better have been an accident or me her are gonna have a serious talk” Jay grumbled
“Don’t be to harsh on her”
****
You woke up around 5:30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep, and the one thing you hated the oxygen.
You’d much rather have the nasal one but you can’t exactly argue with adults on what’s better for your health so you just have to deal with the mask.
Eventually it got hot and you got bored since you couldn’t find your phone. You assumed it was still at the firehouse or Jay had it.
You dragged your little tank/ machine across the room and grabbed your comforter (the very top blanket on your bed) and your pillows and one stuffed animal and stuffed them into the bathtub and you found your laptop and you put on your favorite show.
This was better than being in your bed.
Will woke up to the sounds of Jay screaming in his ear. So much for trying to sleep in.
“Wake up, Y/n’s gone she’s not in her bed” Jay almost screamed at the top of his lungs.
“Are you crazy? Check her bathroom, I found her sleeping in there one time after a reaction and I heard sounds coming from there this morning” Will turned his back to Jay.
Jay ran into your bathroom which was connected to your bedroom and what he saw made his heart melt.
***
“Here’s the real story, the PTO had a cookie drive where you could buy cookies for your friends and stuff like that and they would put it in your locker and we would find them, mine had a note that just said that “thanks for being great friend, don’t worry there’s no strawberries” Okay, so maybe you lied a little but it’s better than jay beating up some poor boy.
“Did it say from who?” Jay asked in his detective tone
“Nope, and I’m pretty sure Hailey told me she threw the box away while I was passed out” you shrugged.
“I guess it’s fine, maybe the PTO forgot. It’s not like anyone hurt you on purpose so it's fine. Right jay” Will sent Jay that look to just drop this subject this one time.
“Yeah right…” Jay picked at his pancakes. He wanted to look into it more but Hailey would kill him.
But… the laughing and the image of you guys faded into his mind.
Flashback end… (WHAT?!??)
Will realized it, it was Milly. Milly was somewhat an old friend of yours and he remembered the day you said you told her that you were allergic to strawberries when she was over. You’ve only been allergic for around a year and half. There hadn’t been anyone else you told.
Except for Milly…
Will shot up from the couch, grabbed his keys from the bowl and ran outside to his car.
Will attempted to call Jay but he didn’t answer. So he was probably out with Hailey.
“Jay when you get this meet me at the Jail they have Y/n immediately. There’s not a lot of time”
***
“Uhh yeah, I just opened my locker and they were there. I didn’t think anything of it, I guess I was just excited” You shrugged.
“Did you tell anyone else about your allergy other than Milly” Jay spoke
“No, not until after the incident, I honestly don’t remember much from that day, but I don't really care to be honest.” You shrugged once again.
“Y/n listen to me, you’re going to have another court date. You’re going to tell everyone exactly what you told us. We’ll get security footage from the school and we’ll also get statements from everyone at the house” You’re lawyer was pretty strict and prescient on getting you out.
It wasn’t the first time someone has gone against Milly in court and you’re lawyer had won 4 cases against 2
***
1 year and 7 months ago
“Well well well isn’t it the detective's little sister?”
“What did I do not milly?” You sighed.
“Nothing, I just wanna make your life a living hell. Your brother is horrible and if I can’t do anything to him I might as well hurt what’s best to him, his little sister-.” Milly had a smirk on her face.
“Please Milly, I’m just trying to fix my makeup” you rolled your eyes and looked back at the mirror.
“Let’s see if make up can fix this” before you could ask her what she meant when you felt stinging on your right eye.
“WHAT THE FUCK MILLY, WHATS YOUR PROBLEM?” You screamed.
“It’s not you I have a problem with. It’s your brother's little squad.” She spits as the rest of her group come in and corner you.
A kick from behind throws you to the ground.
As you try to fight back Milly and get friends they overpower you as it’s 1v5
(And yes this happened at my school but in the hallways❤️)
After a few more kicks to the stomach one of the girls speaks up.
“Let’s go, don’t kill her.”
“You’re off the hook for now Halstead.” She kicks you once more in the stomach and you cry out in pain.
***
As soon as you got home you peaked behind the wall to see if Jay was watching Tv to make sure the coast was clear. Nothing
You ran to your room and to your bathroom.
You pulled open your draw of Makeup and crabbed your concealer.
(I don’t wear much makeup yet so give me break on how it works😭)
“Y/n? Are you good in there?” Jay knocked on the door
“Yeah, yeah just fixing something” you replied
“Alright, Will called and asked if you wanted to go out for dinner”
That made you freeze. You can’t go out like this… Will and Jay could tell the signs of when you used too much makeup.
“Uhh, I don’t really feel like it. Can her just pick up chick fil a or something”
“Are you ok? You love going out” Dam it Jay, did you really have to pick a being detective as your job.
“Yeah, I rather just hang out with you guys tonight y'know”
“Alright I’ll call him”
***
“Y/nnnn… Y/N”
“Is this one of those seizure things she used to have when she had that head injury?” Jay whispers to will
“No, it doesn't look like it. I’m hoping it’s not because I will sue this place down if they let her get a head injury and didn’t let any of us know.” Will grits that last part between his teeth.
“Y/N!” A voice pulls you out of your thoughts.
“Yeah, tell them in court got it. I gotta go bye”
“Alright, call me if you need to schedule anything or if anything happens” your lawyer stood up from the chair.
“Yeah thanks Chris” both Jay and Will got up and shook his hand and walked out.
“What was that about” Will mumbled
“I don’t know, Y/ns strange but you never know what’s going up in that head of hers.” Jay shrugged as he walked down the steps.
Just three weeks left Will said to himself, three weeks. And then you could go back to school. You missed a whole school year so you would be a year behind all of your friends.
How could Jay not care, he hadn’t fought or visited you as much as he did.
He would talk to him when they got back to his apartment. This was gonna be another fight
“Jay?”
“Yes will”Jay hummed
“You seem to not care about y/n all you do is sit her all day and watch these stupid games”
“First of all the games aren’t stupid, and second of all how dare you say that I don’t care about her. It seems like you don’t care about her”
“ME? Oh no you sit here and go to the district come back home and drink like your Addict”
“And you? Don’t act so innocent. You’ve been sitting there on your couch rotting away when you’re not at work” Jay scoffed
“At Least I’m trying to help, I’m trying to read about how we can help Y/n. Do you ever use your brain or are you so fucked up inside? You gonna turn up like dad if you don’t check yourself” Will shoved his finger in Jays chest.
Jay flung wills hand away. “Watch who you’re talking to. Don’t bother coming over. And you can have y/n when she gets out since I don’t care about her. Now get the hell out of my house”
Like I said, the Halstead siblings are falling apart.
***
January 29th 2024
Court date
“All rise” Everyone stood up as the judge walked into the room
Will,Jay and your lawyer Chris had given you a talk on behaving and doing exactly what they said.
You were gonna follow through with those rules but you had something else in mind to add. A way that everyone would see the true face of Milly.
***
“I have a question for my client”
“During your first court, Ms. Taylor accused you of abusing her over the months, and looking over CCTV footage from your so called confrontation Michelle walked over to Ms Halstead instead and she threw the first punch. If you had looked at the cameras you would have seen it”
Milly looked astonished that someone had said her real legal name and not Milly.
“MR. Olsen, I did look at the security cameras and I saw what I saw” The judge shrugged.
You had enough, the judge kept lying, Milly kept telling fake stories and everyone wans´t helping.
“I’ve had enough” You stood up. “Y/n what hell are you doing sit down” Jay yelled in a whisper.
“Back off Jay, Your name isn’t Milly Parker. It's Michelle. Isn’t that right? Ms, Taylor? There’s video proof of everything and every single one of your group of friends. You think I haven’t had an outsider for months? Giving me all the information I know right now. I knew it was you who tried to Kill me with the cookies. I got video permission and I saw it. Best part is I didn’t even have to wait for you to be proven wrong in a couple of years because IT'S ALL HERE. YOUR A FUCKING SNAKE, A LIAR AND BITCH”
Jay and Hailey got up and pulled you out of the courtroom before security did it themselves.
“Y/n are you crazy, you’re going to end up getting more Time in jail”
“You don’t understand Jay, she’s the one who hit me first. She’s the one who gave those strawberry Cookies” You cried.
Jay pulled you into a hug, so you wouldn’t run off and he could comfort you. “It’s alright, you’re ok. I’ll figure it out.” “Go get that footage on that screen, if they try to stop you someone named Harrison Butler will help you” Jay whispered to Hailey and she nodded back.
“Y/n I’m gonna leave you with Kevin for 5 minutes while I talk to Will about something really quick. Is that ok?” He could feel you nodding in his chest.
***
“Natalie, It’s Jay. I need you to send Y/ns medical records from when we came for a check up after she had a reaction”
Jay kept humming in response when Natalie kept asking questions
“Alright thank you”
“I’m getting super tired of the crazy shit” Jay mumbled to himself.
***
“You need to listen to me. When you go in there don’t get up and scream, don’t accuse, don’t exaggerate. Stick to what Voight told you” Jay was on your level giving you a pep talk. This was the final court session. It would be decided who was guilty and who wasn’t. “Do you understand?”
“Yes. If I get to go home can I get McDonald’s?” It was worth asking.
“Of course y/n. I’ll buy you all the McDonald’s you want and whatever you want.”
“Y/n it’s time, let’s go” Your lawyer Chris came out.
***
“Can Ms. Y/n Halstead come up” The judge “would please tell your side of the story to settle this once and for all.”
After the longest speech of your life which was almost 40 minutes. And other people are coming up to talk. A decision was made.
“I sentence Michelle Taylor 30 years for attempted murder, 10 years for fraud and 3 years for assault.”
“For Y/n Halsted, she and her family will be compensated 10 thousands from the star and 25 thousand from the Taylor family from what she has been through.” You looked at Jay with a shocked face, that was a ton of money. “Case closed.” The Jude spoke. Everyone around you started clapping and cheering.
People from your school who had also been affected by Milly were there, News stations, Your family from Med, Fire and Pd. The whole state had heard about your story and it finally worked, people came out told their stories with Milly and this Past year of Hell was over.
You won
***
Now in the car With Jay and Will you guys were one of the last to leave since people were interviewing you guys like crazy. You were starving for something, not prison food.
“Can I have McDonald’s now?”
Jay and Will looked at each other and then looked back at you “taking that as a yes, I’m tired of prison food so let’s go”
***
IT'S OVER, I don’t know if I’m gonna pick this up and add to it again but I want to say I’ve been adding to this every now then since late December early January ish.
I love this and now I can focus on working on some other stuff I have to write😁
Sorry it took so long as well. I wanted to make it good but I got tired of writing this like 2 weeks ago so it’s kinda bad.
Love yall so much and thank you for all the support
#chicago pd#jay halstead#chicago#halstead brothers#one chicago#will halstead#hospital mention tw#x reader#chicago med#halstead sister#Jay Halstead X reader#Will Halstead X reader
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Lemonade: The Poetry (A Gay Man’s Perspective)
This is an ode to gay men who have been in abusive relationships. Originally from Beyoncé’s Lemonade visual album, here is a gay man’s perspective of the poetry.
PART 1: INTUITION
I tried to make a home out of you.
But doors lead to trapdoors. A stairway leads to nothing.
Unknown men wander the hallways at night.
Where do you go when you go quiet?
You remind me of my father, a magician. Able to exist in two places at once.
In the tradition of men in my blood, you call me at 3AM and lie to me.
What are you hiding?
The past and the future merge to meet us here.
What luck. What a fucking curse.
*
PART 2: DENIAL
I tried to change, closed my mouth more.
Tried to be soft, prettier.
Less…awake.
Fasting for 60 days.
Wore white.
Abstained from mirrors.
Abstained from sex.
Slowly did not speak another word.
In that time, my hair grew past my ankles.
I slept on a mat on the floor.
I swallowed a sword.
I levitated into the basement, I confessed my sins and was baptized in a river.
Got on my knees and said, “Amen.” And I said Amen.
I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet.
I threw myself into a volcano
I drank the blood and drank the wine.
I sat alone and begged and bent at the waist for God.
I crossed myself and thought I saw the devil.
I grew thickened skin on my feet.
I bathed…in bleach and plugged my semen with pages from the Holy Book.
But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know. Are you cheating?
Are you cheating on me?
*
PART 3: ANGER
If this is what you truly want, I can wear his skin…over mine.
His hair over mine
His hands as gloves
His teeth as confetti
His scalp, a cap. His sternum, my bedazzled cane.
We can pose for a photograph. All three of us, immortalized. You and your perfect boy.
I don’t know when love became elusive. What I know is no one I know has it.
My father’s arms around my mother’s neck. Fruit too ripe to eat.
I think of lovers as trees growing to and from one another.
Searching for the same light.
Why can’t you see me? Why can’t you see me? (Why can’t you)
Why can’t you see me? Everyone else can.
*
PART 4: APATHY
So what are you gonna say at my funeral now that you’ve killed me?
Here lies the body of the love of my life, whose heart I broke without a gun to my head. Here lies the man of my dreams, both living and dead. Rest in peace, my true love, who I took for granted, most bomb pussy, who because of me, sleep evaded.
His shroud is loneliness.
His God is listening.
His heaven would be a love without betrayal.
Ashes to ashes…dust to side dicks.
*
PART 5: EMPTINESS
He sleeps all day…dreams of you in both worlds.
Tills the blood in and out of orifice. Wakes up smelling of silicone.
Grief, sedated by orgasm.
Orgasm heightened by grief.
God was in the room when the man said to the boy, “I love you so much. Wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in.”
Sometimes when he’d have his nipple in his mouth, he’d whisper, “Oh my God.”
That, too, is a form of worship.
His hips grind pestle and mortar, cinnamon and cloves, whenever he pulls out.
Loss.
Dear moon, we blame you for floods…for the flush of blood…for men who are also wolves.
We blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.
Every fear…Every nightmare…anyone has ever had.
*
PART 6: ACCOUNTABILITY
You find the black tube inside her beauty case.
Where she keeps your father’s old prison letters. You desperately want to look like her.
You look nothing like your mother.
You look everything like your mother.
Film, star, beauty.
How to wear your mother’s heels.
You go to the bathroom to try on the high heels.
Somewhere no one can find you.
You must wear it like she wears disappointment on her face.
Your mother is a woman.
And women like her cannot be contained.
Mother dearest, let me inherit the Earth.
Teach me how to make him beg. Let me make up for the years he made you wait.
Did he bend your reflection?
Did he make you forget your own name?
Did he convince you he was a god?
Did you get on your knees daily?
Do his eyes close like doors? Are you a slave to the back of his head?
Am I talking about your husband or my father?
*
PART 7: REFORMATION
He bathes me until I forget their names…and faces.
I ask him to look me in the eye when I come home.
Why do you deny yourself heaven?
Why do you consider yourself undeserving?
Why are you afraid of love? You think it’s not possible for someone like you.
But you are the love of my life…love of my life…the love of my life…the love of my life.
*
PART 8: FORGIVENESS
Baptize me now that reconciliation is possible.
If we’re gonna heal, let it be glorious.
One thousand boys raise their arms.
Do you remember being born?
Are you thankful?
Are the hips that cracked, the deep velvet of your mother, and her mother and her mother?
There is a curse that will be broken.
*
PART 9: RESURRECTION
You are terrifying…and strange…and beautiful.
Magic.
*
PART 10: HOPE
The nail technician pushes my cuticles back, turns my hand over, stretches the skin on my palm and says:
“I see your sons, and their sons.”
That night in a dream, the first boy emerges from a slit in her stomach.
The scar heals into a smile. The man I love pulls the stitches out with his fingernails.
We leave black sutures curling on the side of the bath.
I wake as the second boy crawls headfirst up my throat.
A flower blossoming out of the hole in my face.
*
PART 11: REDEMPTION
Take one pint of water, add a half pound of sugar, the juice of eight lemons the zest of half lemon.
Pour the water from one jug, then into the other, several times.
Strain through a clean napkin.
Grandfather, the alchemist.
You spun gold out of this hard life.
Conjured beauty from the things left behind.
Found healing where it did not live.
Discovered the antidote in your own garage.
Broke the curse with your own two hands.
You passed these instructions down to your daughter.
Who then passed it down to her son.
My grandpa said, nothing real can be threatened.
True love brought salvation back into me.
With every tear came redemption.
And my torturer became my remedy.
So we’re going to heal, we’re going to start again. You’ve brought the orchestra.
Synchronized swimmers, you are the magician. Pull me back together again the way you cut me in half.
Make the man in doubt disappear.
Pull the sorrow from between my legs like silk, knot after knot after knot.
The audience applauds…
But we can’t hear them.
Written by Jimmy
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26 or 13 for an oc of your choice :3
TY @swordcoasts DEE SORRY ITS BEEN LIKE THREE MONTHS HAHA 😭😭😭💀💀💀
how dare you (x)
characters: adrian (oc), river w/ard (canon)
words: 1,642
warnings: injuries, mentions of blood, riv is injured protecting her and adrian is taking care of him
Also I’m saying fuck it to the 3-10 sentence rule and just trying to aim under 1000 words for the rest of these bc that’s NOT ENOUGH SENTENCES. and i never write adrian river... sooooo
edit: I’m fairly certain I broke both the rules. Let me finish counting words.
edit 2: Rules are made to be broken
Her heart thrums in her veins, time moving agonizingly slow as Adrian keeps watch over River from an chair that she’d pulled up to the side of her bed from across the room. He’s asleep with her sheets pulled up to his collarbones, stabilized, dressings over two gunshot wounds. One on his side, the other on his shoulder.
To just jump in front of her, take a bullet for her… She’s struggling to wrap her head around why he did that. And it had all happened so fast, a red dot she just barely managed to spot crawling up her sternum to her forehead, and then darkness as he stepped in and shielded her from the shots.
Adrian’s heard a lot of wounded sounds in her life, but his keep haunting her, and it’s starting to make her feel nauseous as all hell. He should have let her just take the shots, her implants would have likely protected her. Or given her enough time to drag herself home and take care of her wounds…or she would have just died.
None are particularly terrible options to her, honestly. The way worse scenario would be River giving up the ghost for her, some random suicidal vigilante sniper who has been running around on twice borrowed time anyway. He’s a good man with a family that loves him and vice versa. Last thing she’d want is for them to lose him. Good men are hard to find in this hellish city.
Oh, fuck.
She’s starting to care.
A sudden need to put some space between herself and him propels Adrian out of her chair, her shoulder aching from being pushed into the least padded part of it–
She can’t move without checking his vitals.
Pausing, she casts one more glance at the cell phone-sized monitor displaying them before she quietly pads through the dimness towards the glow of the vending machine in her kitchen, trying to ignore this new revelation that’s making her skin itch.
It’s scary for her to care. Caring deeply for people was something she swore off when her family died— And there’s the guilt now. Making her feel heavy and her insides churn. It’s been years now, but she is ultimately loyal to a fault, and it almost feels like she’s betraying her late husband to have feelings for another man.
Marek would want her to be happy, deep down she knows it, he would hate to see what she’s become, but…
Adrian hits a few buttons on the vending machine beside her mini fridge, rubbing a hand across her brow with a heavy sigh as the eddies deduct from her account in the bottom left corner of her vision, two bottles advertising ‘real’ water dropping down into the basket with a thud that echoes in the silent apartment.
It doesn’t matter how she feels, River is here now and she has to take care of him for what he did. He should be fine though, definitely sore for a few weeks while his body knits itself back together, but she did a pretty fucking great job of getting them all cleaned and debrided.
It’s been a few years since she was a licensed medical professional, but years of surgeries and the way the military and then trauma team drilled information into their people made it pretty hard to forget…and thank fuck, thinking about anything except River and the growing feelings she’s been trying to successfully ignore until now is helping, until she realizes she’s quietly walking back to her bed– and him.
She freezes a few steps away when River groans and stirs, his cybernetic eye glowing a brighter white as he wakes up. It’s dim in her apartment, there’s just not a lot of light in it to begin with, but with her upgraded kiroshis she can see him blink as he takes in his surroundings, growing increasingly tense until his warm brown eye lands on her and he relaxes.
“Hey, Bennett.” His voice is raspy and deep from sleep, and way too fucking warm for her hyper-aware little brain to stand right now. “Surprised you haven’t sold me for parts yet.”
The teasing gives her just enough of a reboot, Adrian forcing herself to walk forward and set the two waters down on the night table. “I was, you just woke up before I could get started.”
River chuckles as he tries to pull himself up, his expression contorting into a grimace as she reflexively reaches out and puts a hand on top of his shoulder to stop him from moving and screwing up all her hard work.
“Don’t move.” Adrian’s voice wavers a little as she places her cold hand on his shoulder, taking care not to touch the dressing. Through she really should just give him a punch in it for being an overprotective dumbass.
There’s a pause between them when their eyes meet, the air shifting and suddenly feeling..heavier as she stands over him. He really is handsome…and she needs to stop. She pulls away with a sigh. “Um, I can get you anything you need. Just don’t move.”
“So, uh, what’s the damage?” River asks, sliding back down and mercifully pulling the blanket back up his toned chest. She pulls her hand away.
“Eh, a shot through your upper pectoralis major, another tore through your exterior oblique but missed a rib.” Adrian recounts, trying to ignore how the tips of her fingers tingle now and he listens to her so intently.
She loses the battle faster than she’d like to admit, rubbing her thumb over her fingertips to scratch the tingly itch. It helps a little.
“Some of us didn’t go to medical school.”
Adrian rolls her eyes at his poor attempt at the humor she's always hated in movies while River reaches for one of the waters, groaning in discomfort when his wounded shoulder stretches.
“Through your tit and side, dumbass.” Adrian swats his hand away, cracking the cap on the bottle and handing it to him with a pointed look. He never fucking listens when it matters.
“Thank you. Sorry.” “Don’t mention it.”
While he drinks, Adrian allows herself to settle back into the chair beside him. Fidgeting with the rough edge of her blanket so she isn’t just…staring at him while he drains the bottle.
“Y’know, this is a nice apartment.” River compliments thoughtfully, screwing the cap back onto the bottle with one hand.
The anxiety and tension that’s been making her feel so…edgy flashes to anger, Adrian finally starting to get a little pissed at how cavalier he’s taking all of this. He could have fucking died for her, and now he thinks he can be all cute about it.
“How dare you.” She snaps before she can stop herself, crossing her arms and frowning at him.
River frowns, offering the bottle of water back to her without stretching his injured shoulder this time. “I…can’t compliment your apartment?”
“It’s not that and you fucking know it. Why did you take those shots for me? Didn’t take you for a total gonk.”
Confusingly enough, a smile slowly spreads across his face. Maybe she gave him too high a dose of painkiller and that’s why he’s being so chill, she did kinda have to guesstimate his weight.
“Aww, you don’t think I’m a total gonk?” He says lightly. “Someone was worried about me.”
“I was not.” Adrian retorts, not nearly as sharply as she meant to.
“I think someone might care about me.” River’s smile widens, the warm teasing making her feel like a petulant child in how it makes her just want to pout and turn away from him with her arms crossed.
Adrian scoffs. “I do not.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself.” River looks away, shifting around and adjusting his blankets. “Anyway, you would have done the same for me.”
“You don’t know that.”
She would. Of course she would.
“No, I don’t…but I like to think you would.” River says thoughtfully, looking back up at her with a look that she can't quite place. He's right...though she'll never let him know that until the time comes— and he fucking lets her. He needs to learn to share the protective life threatening stunts.
“I’ll let you live in the fantasy. Now go back to sleep, I haven’t discharged you yet.”
“Have you slept yet?”
“Don’t worry about that.”
He frowns at her, clearly displeased but he's alive because she stayed up...and she doesn't really sleep much anyway. He knows this. He also knows if he picks a fight with her she'll just get that much more stubborn about whatever they're talking about, so someone just needs to pipe down and get his rest.
“Adrian-“ He starts exasperatedly, about to continue bickering with her she’s sure, so she quickly interrupts him.
“I can put those bullets right back in if you don’t listen to me. Still got them over there.” She nods toward the bloody mess of towels, clothes on the few tiles of her kitchen floor, a plastic bag of metal shards sitting on the counter above them. Only one of the bullets had fragmented, and it only split into four easy pieces at that.
So whoever was after her tonight wasn’t that experienced, because it really should have been way fucking worse. Must be a bounty out there on her head now, she’s gotta remember to check her sites and see how high the price is and where she’s been posted to gauge whatever danger she’s in.
River just sighs, conceding as he relaxes into her grey sheets. She’s pretty certain she’s going to have to get new ones after this.
“Night, Ward.” She says victoriously, keeping her expression neutral, but she can’t resist giving him a firm pat on the arm.
“Goodnight, Bennett.”
#me: Yeah adrian has an apartment.#Me the other night right before i left for the river: *picking out houses to decorate in arroyo*#Smfh.#ocstuff#oc: adrian#a x r#hil writes#ANYWAY THIS IS MESSY AS HELL BUT ITS DONE SO. CLINK CLINK 3 MONTHS LATE AHWKFJAKS#THANKS DEE SORRY AGAIN#Hope i put all my edits in i was copying this to my google docs so i could get the word count and editing as i went in both tumblr and the#doc so. once again i’m the antithesis of work smarter not harder#I like adrian n riv bc adrian is like No i don’t fucking like u what the fuck. U will never know.#Fast forward like 3 years and he’s like *leaving late* Gotta work on a case sorry and she’s like#🥺 Without me?????? *trudging out to the truck as he’s about to leave with a big fluffy blanket around her shoulders#a rifle and her big first aid kit* What if u get hurt 🥺
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5, 12, 25 🫣
Ooooh! That was quick 🥰
#5. Describe their idle animations!
Tav tends to stand around with her arms folded, with an intense, far-off look on her face. She's the queen of resting bitch face. Should there be a wall nearby to lean on, she'll do so, and she crosses her legs when sitting on a chair. If she's not glowering at nothing and looking generally unapproachable, she tends to have her head buried in a book or her journal, but only with half her attention if she's around people she doesn't know or trust. Tends to look up a lot and scan her environment. As the story progresses, you'll find her in Astarion's camp, making use of his table and chair, increasingly engrossed in her writing. She's got the Sage background, though you wouldn't know it.
#12. Does your Tav have any tattoos or scars? Why?
The most obvious one is the black line bisecting her lower lip. After the death of Sylvar and her son, Tav had little money, no job, and refused to go back to Sharess' Caress. She did have her new powers as a warlock, but her overall appearance was a wreck - massively depressed, incredibly stressed, broke, and alone, and possessing a bit of a baby face only accentuated by her short hair, she looked more like a waif in need of rescue than a powerful warlock you should totally hire for your adventuring troupe. So, she got a face tattoo, grew out her hair, and started wearing heavy makeup as a way to reclaim her appearance and increase her intimidation factor. It worked! (I'll post a comparison later).
Tav also has both a small and a longer scar on her face from her early adventuring days, and chose to keep them for similar reasons. She has a scar to the right of her sternum from where an old lover stabbed her, a couple little ones on her knees, ankles, and hands from misadventures throughout the Rivington farmlands as a child, and a couple of minor nicks and burns on her hands and arms from potions work. She did have other scars, but removed them with some powerful scar removal cream, and doesn't like to think about them.
#25. What is something they would die on a hill over?
Ooooh! The phrasing makes me think this should be a joke thing, like a vigorous defense of the oxford comma, but I can't think of anything small and funny like that that Tav would necessarily have strong opinions about. She does think that the Baldur's Gate legislature is entirely composed of out-of-touch idiotic patriars who uphold and maintain a corrupt system exclusively for their own benefit, and cares little for laws after getting fucked over by them. She barely pays taxes and does most of her work under the table, and given a few more years, would probably just hex anyone who came knocking to fully complete her "Witch in the Woods" aesthetic dream life.
More specifically, she has strong opinions about the laws about prostitution in Baldur's Gate being utter tripe and written by people who wanted to keep people trapped in it, not help them, but that's for later chapters to discuss ;)
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Rib fracture
Pairing: Dragon Lee x Fem reader
Description: You get your rib fractured during No Mercy leading Dragon to help you win the match seeing how determined you are to finish the match
You jump around backstage waiting for your match against Lyra Valkyria to defend your NXT women's championship and it was a big match for your career since this was your first ever match in No Mercy. Dragon smiles backstage feeling pride for and over you that you were hitting big milestones in your career having your first no mercy match and your first title defense match and the match was going in your favor from the counters to knowing what lyra was going to do next truly made the match absolutely wonderful to the fans who were on the edge of their seats as soon as the match began until you get hit feeling the wind getting knocked out of your body gasping for air and in pain as you fight back until you were hunched over the ropes with a bleeding and dazed lyra laying on the ground dragon runs out while the ref talks to lyra whimpering in pain as he lightly ran his hand over your bruised sternum distracting the ref as you use a fire extinguisher courtesy of Dominik Mysterio surprisingly before you were laying over her getting the count curling into a ball crying as dragon rolls you out of the ring. After being put on a stretcher you're wheeled out and taken to the hospital finding out that you had gotten two of your ribs fractured when lyra hit your waist with a kendo stick fuck taped to a chair which made the sting of the tick and the force of the chair work on tandem which should've actually broke three of your ribs but because of your natural reaction of hunching over to protect yourself that left you with two cracked ribs and a bruised sternum rather than three broken ribs and possibly worse which truly scared you knowing that something even worse could have happened than how things ended up turning out with you back in your hotel room with an ice pack over your sternum propped over pillows taking pain meds being watched over by dragon who held a pillow over your chest when you needed to cough, wrap the ice pack in a towel before putting it on your sternum, and helping you eat when you were too tired to eat on your own falling asleep with dragon next to you always being right there when you needed anything at all. The first four days were endless pain and agony but thanks to small amounts of over the counter pain meds, ice, and and rest you were feeling much better two and a half weeks later growing antsy as the next five weeks passed by coming back to defend your title against Tatum Paxley and Kelani Jordan quickly letting off the past few weeks of built up adrenaline and antsy need to get back in the ring yelling when you get the pin on kelani and win smiling big jumping in dragon's arms backstage sharing a sweet kiss before standing ring side for his match against dominik stopping Rhea when she tried to intervene to help dom throughout the match cheering when dragon won the match showing that despite the pain and being injured for a bit you could always come back against the odds.
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Not Your Captain
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader
Word Count: 1695
Warnings: Falcon and the Winter Soldier Spoilers!!!!! Lots of Angst in this one, guys, lotta feels, some Fluff to counterbalance it, but mostly Angst, Cursing
A/N: This is Part Two to my previous FATWS writing, His Only Contact. FATWS SERIES STERLIST HERE! This one is from Reader’s perspective and gives you a bit more about Reader’s backstory. There will be multiple parts coming out in the next day or two based just on this new episode because damn. It was loaded! Due to this and my workload this past week, I haven’t been able to post the first chapter of my College!AU, Erased From the Stars, but I promise it’s coming! This’ll be my main focus for the weekend though! Expect more parts in the next 24 hours! I’ll be making a masterlist for this particular project in that time, too! Taglists are open! Please contact me if you want to be tagged! Thank you and please enjoy, loves! (Not beta’d, so sorry for mistakes!)
AGAIN: SPOILERS UNDER CUT!
The moment you saw it on TV, you knew you had to get to Bucky. You weren’t planning on leaving until the next day, but there was no way you weren’t going. So you caught the first plane you could from the base you were staying at.
You’re feelings were all over the place. Steve had been your best friend for more than the past decade. You were the one there when he first woke up. You were the one to help him get situated. You were the one to help him whenever he needed, to go over to his little place in DC when he was having problems, like the time he thought he was having an asthma attack when it was an anxiety attack or when you had to help him find a new phone after he accidentally broke his.
You were that close to falling in love with him. But life went the other way and, in a weird twist of fate, almost as if the universe wanted to spare you of the heartbreak it knew would come if you gave your heart to the dashing captain, you ended up tripping over your own feet for someone else.
Someone you would never tell.
He was the last thing you had left of Steve and you couldn’t ruin that because of your stupid feelings. And you couldn’t ruin the relationship you had now because it was working. He trusted you, more than anyone else. He trusted you because Steve trusted you and you wouldn’t dare break that trust.
You just hoped, with everything going down in relation to the shield - to his legacy - that you’d be able to keep that promise you made to yourself.
You were in front of his door early in the morning - around four - hesitating to knock. It didn’t take long for him to respond the moment your fist did meet the door.
He looked…tired. You wished, oh how you wished, that you could do more. Anything more. He insisted you helped him plenty already; he claimed he never had nightmares when you were by his side. But it wasn’t enough. Not for what he’d been through. You felt as though you were merely putting a bandaid over a bullet wound.
His chocolate locks were short, above his ears. You could remember how hesitant yet eager he was about doing it. It was difficult to not cut his ear off because he kept moving in anticipation. You would know: you cut it. Those blue eyes that made you trip in the first place were outlined by thick lashes, dark ebony bags beneath them, making the azure pop. He was shirtless, as he usually was when sleeping (or at least trying to sleep), his dog tags resting against his sternum.
You could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was watching TV for too long and his hair was less messy than it would be if he actually slept.
The moment his eyes found yours, his plump, chapped lips turned up into the grin he reserved for you and he was pulling you in. Your reaction was instantaneous, your arms slipping around his waist, your chin resting on his shoulder as he found home in the crook of your neck.
He was touch deprived. You knew this, but you never brought it up. Especially considering you were one of the only people he touched willingly. You didn’t want him thinking he was broken, more so than he thought he was already. And you definitely didn’t want to push him into fixing himself. So you didn’t tell him, even though you were pretty sure he knew, and you just let him take the lead.
Sometimes it meant he grabbed your hand in large crowds, or tucked you under his arm when he was threatened. Other times it meant laying his head in your lap when he was tired late at night, or a soft hug in greeting.
Hands slowly tracing his spine, fingers dancing up and down his back, you gave a small smile when you felt him practically purring in your embrace. You could never decide if he was more puppy or kitten. You used to make jokes about the three of them, Steve, Bucky, and Sam, being like a puppy, kitten, and bird that you had to reluctantly pet sit for a friend. You would give almost anything to be joking around like that with them when you went to visit Bucky in Wakanda with Steve.
“Buck?”
He hummed. You didn’t want to pull back, you wanted to stay connected with him for as long as possible, but you had to talk. You didn’t want to talk about it, because that would make it more real, but you had to. You had to.
“Have you seen the news recently?”
His eyebrows furrowed, his lips pulling down. “What happened? Is it Wanda?”
You looked down the hall, your lips pressed together tightly, before nodding inside. “We have to talk.”
He nodded, stepping back and pulling you inside. Seeing the makeshift bed on the floor against the far edge of the sofa made you inwardly sigh, but you didn’t say anything about it. Steve was the same way at first.
“Is she okay? Did you find her? Where-”
“It’s not Wanda.” Turning, you faced him, trying to control your own anger at the situation, knowing it wouldn’t help him any. “It’s…it’s about Steve.”
Those spectacularly blue eyes narrowed, bottom lip being sucked in between his teeth. “What about Steve?”
You gestured for him to come closer, holding out your hand in offering. He took it and followed you as you led him to the couch. A cleared throat and a deep breath later found you gently explaining what happened to him. That the government had taken back the shield and had given it to someone else. A ‘hero just for America’. A ‘new Captain America’.
You could see his features harden with every word, his jaw ticking dangerously, his chest heaving and his nostrils flaring. You squeezed his hand as you finished. “He’s got meetings and stuff with senators and governors. They’re taking him on a tour this week. They-they want me to meet him, considering I’m the last of the original seven. Active on Earth, at least.”
The tears that started forming in his eyes made you swallow your own emotions down thickly. He didn’t need your hatred of this wannabe to fuel his own. He needed your support and comfort. He needed to know you’d be by his side through this.
“Are you?”
You blinked, not expecting his first words to be that question. “Am I what?”
“Going to meet with him?”
“I-I…” You stopped talking, knowing that if you continued you’d end up ranting about how he wasn’t your captain. How he could never be your captain. Debating answers, you decided on a simple, blunt reply. “No.”
“Why…”
Running your thumb over his knuckles, you leaned over slowly to press a chaste kiss to his bare skin and blood shoulder. “Take your time. Collect your thoughts.”
He responded to your words by taking a deep breath, clenching his eyes shut, his jaw so tight you feared he might chip his teeth. It was a tense minute before he said anything, the room being filled with his harsh breathing. “You said he gave them the shield.”
“What?”
“Yesterday. You told me he gave up the shield. They put it in the Smithsonian. But you just said they took it from him.”
“He did give it to them, but-”
“Why?” His eyes snapped open, his features twisting into ones of frustration and resentment. “Why’d he give it to them?”
You shook your head, knowing Sam didn’t mean for any of that to happen. He had called you a few weeks ago to ask about your opinion on the matter. You told him that Steve trusted him, and you trusted Steve, so if Sam thought that was the right thing to do…you trusted him. “It’s not Sam’s fault. Don’t be mad-”
“Don’t be mad?! Don’t be mad?!” Bucky shot up, ripping his hand away from yours, making you bite your lip and hang your head as he paced in front of you. “Steve gave it to him! And he just gives it away like he’s regifting a shitty frisbee as a Christmas present! And you don’t want me to be mad?! Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?!”
Cringing at the use of your name, which you rarely hear fall from his lips, especially in vexation like just then, you looked up at him, eyes pleading. “Bucky, I get it. I do. I’m mad, too. I’m-I’m furious. But you can’t blame Sam. Please. He just - he’s trying, Buck. Just like me. Just like you. We’re all trying.”
Bucky’s shoulders fell as he stared at you, eyes darting from feature to feature as he studied your face. Before you could say anything else, he was on the floor in front of you, in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face pressed into your stomach.
You could tell he was holding something back - something big - but you wouldn’t push him. You never did. Displaying feelings was always hard for him, even in the early 1900’s; Steve used to tell you stories when you were looking for him after the fiasco in DC. Bucky grew up being the oldest of four and the only boy. On top of that, his best friend was a scrawny, stubborn, punching bag of a boy. According to Stevie, neither of them really learned how to cope or how to deal with feelings. And it showed. Boy, did it show.
Instead of getting on him and asking what was wrong and begging for him to talk to you, your fingers tangled in his hair, nails scratching his scalp, as you sat back to make the position more comfortable for him.
“Stay with me. I need you.”
You leaned down to press a soft kiss to his head, nodding into his hair. “I’ll stay. For as long as you need me, Buckaroo.”
Taglist (OPEN):
@happygoreading, @thatsdarwinism, @satellitespidey
#cjsinkythoughts#cjswriting#cjsspoilers#fatws spoilers#tfatws spoilers#falcon and the winter soldier spoilers#fatws#falcon and the winter soldier#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes x avenger!reader#bucky x avenger!reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes angst#cjsfatws#❤🐦💙🦾#💙🦾#💙🦾🥺#fatws pt 2#fatws series
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𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓
𝙋𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘱𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 | 𝘑𝘑 𝘔𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘹 𝘱𝘰𝘨𝘶𝘦!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝙒𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜: 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘢,𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦,𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴,𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵,𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘺 𝘴𝘮𝘶𝘵,𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦,𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘫𝘪𝘢𝘳𝘢,𝘳𝘢𝘧𝘦𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘺 𝘪𝘧 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘶𝘯 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘮 (𝙨𝙢𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨: 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘰𝘳𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦&𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨,𝘷𝘢𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘴𝘦𝘹,𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬)
𝙖/𝙣: 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 @outcrbcnks ,𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘩𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 :)
𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 5.3𝘬+,𝘣𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘭𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯𝘦
𝙎𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮: 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘙𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘺/𝘯, 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘰
✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵ ✵
Find the gun, find the gun y/n. It was all I could do to keep me calm down in the sewer, the disgusting sewage the covered my body in a thin layer made me nauseated. Kiara was ahead of me leading the way down the tunnel. The light of the drain was coming in to view. Almost there.
"Kie, I think I might throw up," the smell was making me gag.
"God this is fucking awful, why did we let them convince us to do this?”
“If you remember correctly, we are trying to find a damn murder weapon,” I might have said that a bit too demeaningly, but to be fair, I couldn’t ignore the way my boyfriend looked at her. The hardest part was pretending like I didn’t know what was going on.
“Whatever, let's just find this damn thing and get out of here,” Kiara said.
We eventually found our way to where the sewer met the storm drain on the street above. Searching felt like a waste of time, I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea to get involved in this bullshit, but I guess dating JJ came with its ‘perks’. Which happened to include searching for a fucking murder weapon at the bottom of a sewer.
I dragged my hands as deep as I could under the nasty water, trying my hardest to keep my head above water.
“People are so shitty,” Kiara said, disgusted by the trash that easily could’ve been recycled sitting at the bottom of the basin.
“Guys! I think I found something,” she held up something that was definitely not a gun, something dead. It elicited a yelp from her throat, definitely not good.
“Is it Gavin? Is it a body?” The sound of JJ emanated through the drain. That was when I heard the water coming.
“Kie, somethings wrong,” she was so caught up on the poor animal she failed to notice the water beginning to flood in.
“Oh shit!” She was starting to panic. Not good not good not good.
“Guys get out of there!” The voices of JJ and Pope slowly being drowned out by the rising water.
Kiara began climbing up the ladder leading to the drain on the street. Adrenaline was coursing through my body as I climbed behind her, the water closing in on me.
“Push Kie!”
“I am y/n, it's too heavy,” the drain was our only escape now. The water was at my chest, inching closer and closer to my neck. The adrenaline made my body act on instinct, but I also couldn’t keep myself calm. It felt like my body was numb as I tried to pull myself up the ladder, closer to Kiara.
I couldn’t keep my head above water now as it rose up above my head. I took the largest breath I’ve ever taken in my life and prayed that JJ and Pope would come lift the drain. Struggling for air was the worst experience I’d ever felt, I couldn’t hold it any longer. The water filled my lungs, it went black after that.
The boys were pulling as hard as they could on the drain. The combined strength of the two alone just wasn’t enough. But someone else had heard the screams of the two girls and came barreling down the street to help.
Pope had a look of horror on his face as Rafe Cameron himself began pulling on the drain as well. The three of them together much more easily pulling the manhole off and onto the street. Water came flooding out as JJ pulled Kiara out, she was sputtering the disgusting muck out of her lungs, begging for air.
“Kie, Kie! Are you alright?” JJ asked.
“She’s still down there,” she struggled to get out, still filling her lungs with clean air.
Rafe was in panic mode, he nearly dove into the water, reaching his torso as far down as he could. He had to find her. He had too. Rafe's head below the water and into the drain, reaching out for her. After what felt like hours, he felt something, grasping on with all his strength and pulling her body out of the sewer.
"Fuck, Pope! She's not breathing, Pope, I swear to god you better know CPR," Kiara was screaming, still in the arms of JJ.
Rafe began pumping his fists down on her sternum in a steady rhythm. All hell broke loose when he plugged are nose and connected his mouth to hers, blowing air into her water filled lungs.
"What the fuck are you doing!" JJ viciously pulled Rafe from her body, throwing him back onto the concrete.
"Saving her fucking life asshole," Rafe pulled himself back up, rushing back over her and continuing to do what her boyfriend could not. He pushed another breath into her lungs, pleading with himself that she would survive.
That was when y/n began coughing up the sludge lodged in her lungs. She was nearly throwing up her lungs as Rafe stared at her, a look of relief washed over his face. He was the first thing she saw when she came to. Then she saw JJ, clinging onto Kiara in a way she'd always knew would happen.
"Y/n! Fuck I'm glad you're oka-," JJ tried reaching out for her.
"Get the fuck off of me JJ," y/n pushed him back, disgusted yet not surprised by his actions. She had just been brought back from the dead and it felt like he didn't even care. The one person who did care was supposed to be her mortal enemy. A million thoughts were trying to process in her head all at once. Having no idea what to do, she picked herself up and began walking as fast as she could away from the group. On her heels was that same kook, the one she hated, the one she couldn't keep off her mind, the one who ruined her life, the one who saved her.
Y/n only made it 30 feet before hunching over and resting her hands on her knees as she heaved onto the sidewalk. Rafe had chased after her, now pulling the drenched hair from around her face. Once she had emptied her lungs of the filth, she only had one thing to say.
“Get the fuck away from me Rafe,” she said, still hunched over. He stood in shock, not knowing what to do next.
"At least let me take you home, for the love of God I literally just pulled you out of a sewer." She hesitated for awhile, finally recognized the car she had been throwing up next too. It was Rafe's truck.
The truck was filled with nothing but silence as they drove, y/n ignoring every word Rafe said. They had been driving in a giant circle around the island with no destination for hours. Finally Rafe pulled over on the side of the road, hazard lights on.
"Listen, y/n, we can't stay in the car all night, and it seems to me like you don't want to go home, I can take you back to Tannyhill, you can take a shower and get cleaned up, we have a guest room, stay the night if you'd like," Rafe said, hoping she would say yes. Y/n let out a deep sigh before speaking.
"Fine," it was all she could muster up. Her heart was hurting. Y/n had come to the realization that her boyfriend instinctually went for Kiara, and that she would always be his second choice. She never wanted to be a second choice, she wanted to be the only choice.
His house was enormous, probably bigger than any she had seen on figure eight. Rafe hopped out of the truck, racing over to the passenger side door to let her out. He led her into the massive home, before arriving at the guest room.
"There's a bathroom through that door, I'll bring you some clothes to wear," he said. She barely let him finish before bolting towards the bathroom door, locking herself in. She laid her back against the door, wondering how in the world she ended up here. It took a moment to take in the beauty a bathroom could hold. She'd never seen anything like it. Marble floors and brilliant gold detailed fixtures. It was easily the nicest thing she had ever seen. Finally, she reached her hand to the shower faucet, turning on a beautiful cascade of water. There was nobody in the world she believed needed something so fancy. Y/n stripped out of her muck caked clothing, tossing it onto those beautiful floors. Stepping into the waterfall was exactly what she needed.
Meanwhile, Rafe ran upstairs, grabbing whatever he could out of Sarah's closet. He ran over and over again in his head what to do next as he raced back down to the guest room. Leave the clothes next to the door? Wait for her to come out of the shower? Before he had a chance to decide, y/n came out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around her body. Rafe had a look of shock in his eyes, he never thought he'd see the girl he couldn't keep off his mind here, in his home.
Rafe stuck his arm out, holding the clothes just in front of her. She looked Rafe up and down before gently reaching out for the clothing.
"Thanks," that was all she said before turning around and locking herself in the bathroom again. Y/n struggled to hold her tears in, knowing what she would have to face in the morning. It wasn't an easy decision, but it needed to be done.
It was possibly the best sleep she had ever gotten. The satin pillowcases soft against her cheeks as she slept, the warm comforter encasing her. No interruptions or pogues banging on her bedroom door for her to wake up. Just peaceful sleep.
Y/n laid awake in the bed, sunrise creeping through the curtains, dreading the next few hours. She left the massive home as soon as possible, sneaking out at daybreak, making the nearly hour long walk back to the cut.
Rafe found no trace of her left behind, everything was in its place just as it had been before y/n occupied the room. She couldn't have gotten far.
He caught up to her in his truck, she had only made it maybe a quarter of the way to her destination. Wearing Sarah's clothes he had lent her, she fit right into the neighborhood. She kept her head held high and determined to ignore him.
"Y/n, what the hell are you doing?"
"Fuck off Rafe," she shoved her middle finger towards his window as he drove along side her.
"So I save your life, let you sleep at my house, lend you Sarah's clothes, and now I can't offer you a ride?"
"Correct, I don't need your help, the only thing I know you to be good for is hookups and rebounds," she said rather matter of factly. He couldn’t lie to himself, hearing her say that made his heart hurt a little bit.
“Whatever, there's a party at Topper’s tomorrow night if you’re interested, but I’ll go ahead and guess your answer is a no,”
Y/n stopped in her tracks, causing Rafe to slam down on his breaks. She finally turned to look at him, a smile growing on her face.
“You’re absolutely whipped.”
Rafe hesitated before driving off, this girl left his head spinning in circles.
Once she reached the cut, y/n made a B-line for the chateau. Finding the rest of the pogues wasn’t hard, they were usually out back up to whatever shenanigans they had planned. JJ especially came up with bad ideas, somehow convincing the rest of the group that they would work. Y/n rested her body against a doorway, finally making eye contact with JJ, then nodding her head back gesturing for him to follow.
They creeped back towards the front of the shack, still trashed from the hurricane.
“Jesus, where were you y/n? I was worried sick that fucking kook hurt you,” JJ hugged her, squeezing as tight as he could. When she didn’t return the enthusiasm, he knew something was wrong.
“What’s going on?” He questioned.
“Listen JJ, this, us, it’s not going to work,”
“What the hell are you tal-,”
“Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about JJ, I've seen the way you’ve looked at her for months, you’re always going to choose Kiara over me, always. I am not a second choice. I know what I saw.”
“Did that kook get into your head or something?” She was sure the others could hear them now.
“It’s not about that JJ, I was fucking drowning and you didn’t even try to help me, I’d probably be dead right now if it wasn’t for him!”
“Oh so it is about him huh? Did you have fun last night curled up in figure eight? Wait wait, I see, he didn’t get into your head, he got into your pants instead didn’t he?” Y/n didn’t know how else to react, slapping him square across his face.
“Don’t you dare, fucking accuse me of that, or I swear to God JJ,” she could barely hold back the anger boiling her blood right now.
“Its over. Done. Have a nice life.” Y/n ran as fast as she could out of the chateau, tears pooling in her eyes, looking for any escape.
The next 36 hours were a daze, and before y/n knew it, she was getting ready for a kook party. What does a girl even wear to a kook party? A nice sundress? Little black skirt and a crop top? How fancy is this supposed to be? In the end she decided to wear a sleek black dress, knowing she would stick out like a sore thumb, regardless of what she wore. Being likely the only pogue in the middle of hundreds of kook's, it wouldn't matter.
Meanwhile, Rafe was already at Topper's house, making preparations for the oncoming chaos.
"Boys, if you see a little y/h/c pogue try to walk in here, let her in," Rafe said, handing each a $100 bill. The two door boys nodded their heads in understanding.
The easiest part was over, now y/n just had to get there. She didn't even know where Topper lived, well, figure eight obviously, but where? Actually, that's a stupid question, just follow all the BMW's and audi's driven by reckless teenagers.
Y/n knew something was off when the two kids stationed at the door let her through without question. Fucking Rafe. He was surely already here, and she was questioning what in the world led her to make the decision to come here tonight.
Rafe found her in the kitchen, downing shots of tequila.
"Didn't expect to see you here y/n," he slid next to her, pouring himself a shot as well.
"Didn't think I'd be here either, I have much better things I could be doing right now," she snickered back.
"So how'd it go when you got back to the cut?" Rafe asked, knowing something had changed.
"Well, I dumped JJ, so I am officially a free woman," she said, downing her next shot.
"And you're taking it well, obviously," he laughed, smiling as he watched her take the shot with ease. In true y/n fashion, she flipped him off before grabbing the bottle of tequila and disappearing into the house. He watched the way her dress clung to her hips as she moved, now more than ever aware of the ache he felt.
Only fifteen minutes had passed before Rafe went looking for her. Searching through crowds and empty rooms, finally finding a door on the second floor that was cracked open. Not locked out, but not to be unfound. He poked his head through the door, not seeing much at first, until his eyes landed on an open window. The cool breeze of the ocean drifted into the room. He climbed through the window and out onto a small section of the roof overlooking the backyard.
As soon as she saw him, she knew there was no escape.
“Ugh,” y/n rolled her eyes, taking another drink from the bottle she had smuggled.
“Excited to see me?” Rafe said as he settled onto the roof.
"How did you guess?"
"Just the fact that you even showed up, your actions speak for themselves," he said rather confidently.
"Do they now? Because it seems to me like you're the one who is stalking me," she let out a giggle.
"Well, I still need Sarah's clothes back,"
Y/n shoved his shoulder, the both of them laughing as she did.
"Mhm, I don't know, I think I look pretty good dressed in kook," y/n passed him the bottle now, he accepted her offer. He had to think long and hard about what to say next, his heart beating relentlessly in his chest.
"More than pretty good," there was a silence between the two, both reading into what he said.
"Y'know, I don't even know who I am anymore."
"And by that you mean?" Rafe asked.
"On this island, it's always kooks or pogues, no in-between, and I thought I was a pogue for the longest time, but I never quite, I don't know, fit in? It sounds fucking stupid, forget it."
"No no, it's not, I feel like we're actually having a conversation, not just bickering at each other, and it's, it's nice," his voice was becoming shaky now. She took a deep breath before continuing.
"I think I'm just in a rut, I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself. All I ever did was for JJ, I gave him everything,” he understood the magnitude of what she had given him.
“And now that we've broken up, I have this new freedom that I don't know what to do with, it was the first relationship I'd ever been in, and at this point I don't even remember how to be single. I hate to say it, but I feel like he took everything I gave him for granted."
Rafe smirked at his thoughts, knowing exactly what she needed.
"Oh what's so funny?” She said.
“You desperately need a rebound.”
“I do not!”
“You do, and I know the perfect guy for the job.”
“And who would that be exactly?” Their witty banter had turned to flirtation, and they were now physically closer than ever. Rafe had his hand cupping the side of her head, fingers tangled in her hair, leaning in closer to her. Her breathing has quickened as his face came closer to hers, knowing what he was insinuating.
The connection of their lips sent shockwaves through her body. It was the first thing in a long time that felt like it made sense. They disconnected for a moment, staring longingly into each others eyes for permission. A sense of understanding overcame them as their lips smashed together once again. Rafe's hand moved lower down to her neck, tracing his thumb to the other side and giving a light squeeze.
"Rafe I, don't get me wrong, I want this, but I don't think it's a good idea right now."
"You're right," he whispered as a whirring noise approached in the distance.
It was maybe thirty minutes past 11, the sound of an approaching boat caught their attention. They both looked at the boat coming to dock on the Thornton's boat dock. Rafe and y/n climbed back into the home, recognizing the boat pulling up to the dock. Rafe raced out the back door, y/n steps ahead of him as anger and adrenaline rushed through her body. She ran down the dock, ready to fight the boy hopping off of the boat.
"JJ, please explain to me why the fuck you are here right now, and it better be a good reason or I swea-,"
"Y/n please, I just need to talk to you okay? I've been thinking about the other day and I just needed to-,"
"Not good enough JJ, you had your fucking chance, got it? I never want to see you again," she had tears of anger streaming down her face, that was when Rafe lodged himself between the argument.
"You heard her pogue," Rafe said threateningly.
"What are you gonna do about it huh?" JJ pushed his hands against Rafe, knocking him back only slightly, Rafe stood solid.
"What am I gonna do?" Rafe shoved him back with all his strength, knocking JJ onto his back.
"I'm only going to say this one time for you," Rafe crouched down, grabbing fistfuls of JJ's shirt.
"Stay," he landed to first punch.
"The fuck," and the second.
"Away from her," finally the third, then forcing him back onto the ground in a sheer competition of dominance. Crowds had gathered around the commotion, watching the kook and pogue battle it out. Y/n felt a sense of relief, someone had finally chosen her.
"You already fucked her didn't you?" JJ struggled to spit out, coughing on the blood lodged in his mouth. Rafe promptly pulled JJ up by his shirt, making sure to look right into his eyes as he made his next threat.
"Stay off figure eight, or so help me God JJ, I will kill you." Rafe tossed the boy back onto the ground, watching as he struggled to pull himself back to his boat.
"Show's over everyone! Get out!" Rafe said, the crowd watching dispersed over fences and into cars, not wanting to face the same fate.
She was the only one who didn't leave. Y/n watched as he came closer to her, pulling her into an embrace.
"I'm sorry y/n, that asshole deserved it,"
"Thank you," her tears were staining his polo as they held each other.
"Also, neither of us are in any shape to drive, so what's the plan?" She asked.
They made the short walk back to Tannyhill, ending up in the same rooms they had been in the day everything changed. When morning came she stayed in her bed, enjoying the comfort she felt in this home. The sudden knock on her door awoke her from her daze.
"Hey, I uh, brought breakfast," Rafe said, holding up the bag of breakfast burritos. Y/n patted the empty place on her bed, inviting him to sit down. They sat and ate in silence, unsure of what to say to one another. Once finished, she ended up snuggling her head into the crook of his neck, arm tossed across his abdomen. Rafe wrapped his arm around her and they stayed there for awhile, simply enjoying each others presence.
Rafe placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, rubbing his thumb across her shoulder at the same time. Y/n looked up at him from her spot on his chest, moving herself up so their lips connected. The kiss was just as good as she had remembered. Rafe began deepening their kiss, pulling her in by the waist with his free hand.
I had woken up. For the first time in a long time I felt it. How it felt to be the only choice for someone, to be at the top of someone's priorities. Feeling his hand pull my waist into his sent lightning through my body, and I've never wanted anything more in my life than right now. I threw my right leg over his hips, anticipating to climb on top of him. I brought my hand up to the back of his head, threading my fingers through his hair.
"Think it's a good idea?" Rafe asked.
I simply nodded my head in response, bringing my mouth back to his. His hands began tracing further down my body, grabbing at my hips as he pulled me in closer. I got the message. I threw myself over him, sitting perfectly in his lap, hair hanging almost in his face. We reconnected and the speed at which we kissed quickened. My arms had snaked behind his neck, my entire body resting on his, legs straddled across his lap.
He was surprised when I removed my mouth from his, only to begin trailing kisses down his neck, towards the collar of his polo. He sat up, leaving room for him to pull his shirt up and over his head. I pushed him back down into the bed as I trailed lower and lower. Reaching the spot I needed most, I unbuttoned his pants, pulling them as far down as I could. He was already hard, clearly anticipating this when he walked into the room an hour ago.
I began leaving kisses down his clothed dick, teasing the throb. But I myself was too in-need to tease for long. I pulled his boxers down, revealing the eager member. Wrapping my hand around him, I pumped it a few times, leaving light kisses all around him. The taste of him spread in my mouth as I took him in. His hands pulled my hair back as I sucked on him, the pace of his breathing becoming more of a pant. One of my hands grasped onto his hips as the other pumped him in sync with my lips.
A shock ran through my body as he flipped me over on the bed. Rafe nearly ripped my shirt in half when pulling it over my head. He sat over me for a moment, taking in the sight of me like he'd been waiting to for so long. Just after, his hands came to either side of my head, propping himself up as he began kissing down my neck, surely leaving bruises. Moving lower to my breasts, he continued, tugging and pulling at the straps of my bra. He was now resting his entire body on me, his elbows at my sides as he started massaging my breasts through the fabric.
"You can take it off, you know," I said.
That was all he needed to hook his hand underneath me, tugging at the clip holding me together. Rafe popped it off with ease, not that I was surprised. His mouth attached itself to one of my nipples, teasing it with his tongue. The cool air hitting the wet spot he left behind causing me to gasp. Meanwhile, he had been rolling the other between his fingers, sending arousal between my thighs. The sensitivity rolling between my hips was begging for more.
Rafe's hands began trailing lower down my body, his mouth not far behind. The ache in my core was growing more and more with every inch he passed, until finally I felt a finger graze over my shorts.
"These need to come off," it was more of a question than a statement.
I nodded, because I needed more. He slid the shorts off of my legs, tossing them onto the ground, leaving my panties on full display for him. Then his mouth moved to my thighs, starting closer to my knees, slowly moving in towards my center. I could feel every breath he made against me, and knew he was just as in-need as I was. It felt like ages before he finally made contact with my core. His lips left kisses over my clothed clit, at this point I was begging for more.
He knew too, knew how much I needed him right now. The wetness soaking through my underwear as he played with me through them, thumb massaging little circles around my clit. My legs shuddered as he did, needing to desperately to be released. His fingers latched underneath the waistline of the fabric, and he pulled them all the way down my legs, exposing every inch of myself, and discarding them on the floor.
I was absolutely soaked, and he had barely even touched me. I could barely imagine what I’d be like once he had. When his fingers finally returned, I was a mess. He was eager too, not even waiting because I was already ready for him. His middle and ring finger teased my entrance, before plunging deep into me. The gasp that came out of my mouth was the loudest I’d ever had, causing my hand to close over my mouth in response. But Rafe didn't care how loud we got as his mouth came down to me, his tongue flicking at my clit, fingers beginning to thrust in and out.
My hips were rolling, legs shaking as the combination of his mouth and fingers pushed me closer and closer to the edge. Whimpers came out as his free hand was grasping onto my stomach, thumb tracing circles below my navel. I tugged at the sheets around me, needing some sort of grounding as he continued fucking me with his fingers. My pussy was aching for more, begging for something bigger to ease the ache.
"Rafe, I need you inside, like right now," I struggled to get the words out. But he wouldn't let up, he was determined. His fingers were moving faster and faster and his mouth was lapping at the wetness of my pussy. I couldn't take it anymore, and my legs closed around his head, squeezing as I came.
I barely had time to recover before Rafe was on top of me, lining his cock up with my entrance, then pushing himself all the way into me. My walls clenched around him as I tried to adjust to his length, but he wasn't waiting. Slowly he began thrusting in and out, plunging himself deeper each time. He reached down to kiss me as he pounded me, hand wrapping around my neck and squeezing.
"Fuck," I squeaked out.
It only got better when he threw my legs over his shoulders, they were nearly at my chest. He pounded into me at a hard but steady pace, and it was driving me to the edge once again. The whimpers coming from me were more than enough to tell him to keep going.
"You like that princess?"
"God, yes Rafe, harder," I pleaded.
He listened, but it was taking a toll on him, his breathing was now broken and unsteady as he thrusted. I could feel his body beginning to tense up on top of me, he was getting close. It was my turn now.
I used all of my strength to flip him onto his back, my legs on either side of him as I began riding him. Rafe's hands came around to my ass as I repeatedly moved up and down on him. Then I laid down on him, arms behind his neck for support as his arms held onto my waist tightly. Rafe propped his legs up for support and began thrusting into me harder than he ever has. The feeling of my walls clenching around him as he pumped into me, using me as a toy.
"Cum in me Rafe, please," but it wasn't a question. I nearly screamed as he released inside of me at the same time I came. We stayed that way for a few moments, simply taking one another in as our breathing steadied.
Finally, I slid off of him, releasing the tension of him inside of me. I could feel his cum leaking out of me as I laid on top of him. I could go to sleep right here if I wanted to. His hand laced into my hair, playing with the ends of it.
"I still need Sarah's clothes back," he laughed.
"Don't think so, consider it the start of my kook wardrobe,"
"To going full kook?" he asked.
"To going full kook."
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#rafe#rafe cameron#rafe cameron imagine#obx#outerbanks#outerbanks imagine#rafe obx#jj maybank#jj maybank imagine#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outerbanks smut
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Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
A Frank Adler One Shot.
Summary: It’s Frank’s wedding night… but you’re not quite ready to let him go just yet.
Warnings: Bad Language words. Smut (NSFW, 18+) allusions to cheating…
Pairings: Frank Adler x Reader
A/N: Just a little smutty one shot featuring everyone’s favourite Dirty Boat Daddy. Written for @onlyjamesbarnes 1.5k Follower Challenge. Prompt in bold. Congrats babe!!
Lyrics from Fall Out Boy- Thnks Fr Th Mmrs
Frank Adler Master list // Main Masterlist
❤️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔♥️💔
I'm gonna make you bend and break,
Say a prayer, but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show…
Frank had always been powerless to resist you. He was a moth to your flame, but like always, you play with fire and you get burnt.
But now, you were the one burning, burning hotter than the sun.
With a groan, you ground your hips down as you leaned back, rolling and rocking down onto him. That face, sharp chiselled jawline covered by a slightly nearer than usual scruff looked back at you, his perfect profile silhouetted against the moonlight which drifted through the curtains of the hotel room.
How could something that wrong feel so fucking right?
And I want these words to make things right, But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life.
"Who does he think he is?"
If that's the worst you've got, better put your fingers back to the keys
He shouldn’t have let you in, but you knew he would as soon as he fired you the message with his room number. Your signature knock had sounded across the plush suite he was spending his last night as a ‘single’ man in, and like a sacrificial lamb welcoming its slaughter, he’d opened the door.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“I wanted to see you.” You blinked up at him. He was still in his slacks and dress shirt, from the rehearsal you’d sat through, tie discarded, collar open. He cut a stark contrast to the boat greased and oil stained, salty air cured man you were used to.
He held the door open for you, stepping back and allowing you in. Without a word you walked over to the grand windows the space provided, offering a look at the shoreline outside and below. The view was breathtaking at night, the moonlight shining off the waves as they lapped at the shore, mere metres away from where tomorrow he would take his vows.
Through the reflection of the window behind you, you could see him just as his hands gripped at your waist. You turned on the ball of your foot, manicured fingers running up his chest from his strong pecs to his collarbones and over his shoulders to around his neck, your lips quickly on his. Your tongue slipped inside, tasting a hint of scotch, a half drunk glass of which sat on the small coffee table to the right. Frank moaned against your mouth while your fingers slipped through the neatly trimmed hair of his neck.
You pushed against him slightly with your body, the back of his legs hitting the chair besides the coffee table and he took a seat, breaking your kiss.
“This shouldn’t-“
“Shhh.” You shook your head. “Just give me tonight, please.”
He stared at you with lust blown eyes, different to the playful glint he normally possessed when he used to look at you, as you thought for a second about your next move, bottom lip already swollen from his kiss between your teeth.
You knew he was a goner.
"Y/N," he managed to croak out as you straddled his lap, seating yourself over his now hard cock, the rough fabric of his dark dress pants constraining him, giving you just enough teasing friction agasint your sensitive inner thighs. His large hands slid up your thighs and under your light coloured, flowy dress as you moved your lips over his again, giving him access to your ass, finger tips grazing the barely there material of your panties.
You ground down against him, your hips rolling in a circular motion as he growled into your mouth, squeezing your cheeks with his hands. You kicked off your sandals, making a thud as they hit the plush carpet. A sound that matched that of your heart. A heart that squeezed in your chest, as if someone had wound and elastic band around its middle knowing that tomorrow you’d watch him takes his vows.
And everything would change.
Frank broke away from your lips, to lick and nip at your jaw and down your neck, tongue rolling against your sternum. His face drilled between your breasts, inhaling your scent.
Your fingers found the buttons of his shirt and plucked them open skillfully, French manicured nails raking across his chest, causing him to shudder and groan. You reached for the buckle of his belt, undoing it with little trouble, lifting your hips slightly, showing a strength in your thighs as you lifted away from him, to undo his flies. You adjusted yourself, pushing up on your knees just a little to allow the room you needed to dip your hand just under his boxers waistline, gently gripping at his dick.
“No, not here.” He growled, teeth nipping at the shell of your ear. “I want you in the bed.”
The bed. Where he would spend his first night as a married man.
It was so wrong.
Yet you happily obliged.
It was a well practiced tango the pair of you had danced over the years, and now here you were, him keening underneath you with a desperation you’d come to know well.
You could feel his cock pulsing against your walls and it gave you the chills. You held the power and control as he struggled to keep his.
With a quick movement, Frank sat up, pulling you flush against his chest, the angle hitting you just at that pleasurable spot he always managed to hit within you. His head dropped, lips and teeth gently teasing your nipple, large hands splayed agains your spine as he lavished you with affection.
You started grinding down harder, looking for that clitoral stimulation you wanted and as you found it, he moaned deeply into your ear.
“I’m close, but I don’t wanna… not yet.” His words were a plea, a plea that he wasn’t ready to end, and you knew he didn’t simply mean tonight.
But it had to. There was no way around it.
One night and one more time, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
"Just...let...go," you purred against him.
"Oh fahk," he ground out as his feet planted firmly into the mattress and his hips thrust upward. It didn't take much, a few strong and hard drives and you were crying out his name, your head thrown back in ecstasy as you came around around him.
"Jesus, fahkk, I'm gonna fahking.... Oh fahk," he swore vehemently, his old Boston drawl thick as he drove hard into you for a final time, exploding his load deep into you, spraying your walls with ribbons of white cream.
The pair of you collapsed onto the bed, utterly spent. Frank kept you held to his chest as you both drew ragged, heaving breaths. After a moment, Frank pressed a kiss to the crown of your head, no words needed.
And you blinked back a solitary tear.
*****
I'm looking forward to the future, but my eyesight is going bad.
And this crystal ball, it’s always cloudy except for when you look into the past
One night stand
Frank had fallen asleep with you in his arms, not quite ready to let you go. But you were long gone by the time he woke the next morning, the only evidence you’d been in his room was a scribbled note on the pad on the night stand.
“Here’s to the first day of the rest of your life.”
He’d folded the note up and slipped it into his breast pocket, not quite sure why. Maybe it would keep you close to him in those moments he needed to feel you, who knows.
Who knows why any of this had started in the first place.
He watched Mary walk down the aisle first, her bouquet in her hand had been dropped as she had leapt into his arms for a hug, laughing as she told him how excited she was. He’d kissed her cheek and placed her down and she stood by his side, watching as his bride and her father started towards him.
It was then Frank’s eyes had found yours as you watched him, and he swallowed, his chest contracting.
He could still feel your eyes on him and he couldn’t get the image of you bouncing on top of his cock out of his head. He blinked as someone said his name, and he looked at the officiant, clearing his throat.
“Sorry, little nervous.” He apologised, flashing a cheeky grin before he took a deep breath.
A couple of I-Dos later, he was told to kiss his wife. So he did.
And all he could taste was you.
Man and wife walked hand in hand down the aisle to applause, and at the end they stopped and the new Mrs Adler peered up at Frank, a soft smile on her face.
“You happy?”
“Of course.” He smiled back.
“Good, because choosing me to spend your life with, well, I actually think it’s the second best choice you’ve ever made in your life.”
Frank blinked as he heard the click of the photographer's camera. “Oh? The second? What was the first?”
“Letting me into your room last night.” You grinned, your hand sliding up his tux, the diamond studded band catching the sun, glinting in the bright light.
Frank grinned at you, before he arched his eyebrow. “Time will tell if it really was bad luck to see my wife the night before.”
“Didn’t feel like bad luck to me,” you smirked, you hand gently tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck as he dropped his head to kiss you, the cheers and applause once more chiming in your ears.
One night and one more time, thanks for the memories
#onlyjamesbarnes1.5kchallenge#frank adler x reader#frank adler x you#frank adler fanfiction#frank adler fic#reader insert#Chris Evans#chris evans characters
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clocks on the wall
a/n: first Levi fic. blame/thank @vennilavee. don’t come for my neck. enjoy.
warnings: swearing, violence, softness, slight ooc Levi at the end, no spoilers for season four (everything written takes place from the ova - season three).
word count: 7.1k
You had never been Underground before.
It was beautiful, in its own way. The city had its own glow to it, made up from yellows, blues, and greens. It was known that without lights, the city and its people would be covered in darkness. Something about the greens and blues hinted at that being a lie. That it wouldn’t have been completely dark below the surface.
You were snapped out of your thoughts when Erwin turned his head at the sound of cables slicing through the air, gas hissing, and the sound of an excited voice cheering, the echoes bouncing off the dirt and sentiment walls.
Erwin looked back at the three of you and the Military Police, the look on his face reading “that’s them.” It was after that moment, you began to understand the kind of reform Erwin was looking for and why Erwin had chosen these random Underground criminals as the example.
Well, maybe it wasn’t so random, knowing Erwin.
You carefully set aside the ODM gear retrieved from their beings, stepping to stand behind Erwin, yet in front of the three criminals. The light haired one locked his eyes on Erwin, though his face was thoughtful. The young woman’s eyes were wide with curiosity, but locked onto Erwin as well; only occasionally did she spare a glance at you.
The third one, who you assumed was the leader from his quietness, refused to move his gaze from the ground. Until Erwin stepped up to him, waiting for a response; was he trained in the military?
He gave Erwin a cold look, keeping to himself.
When his head was slammed into the dirty water, you watched the way the others reacted. They seemed… worried. But not in the sense that they were worried about the physical harm on him, but his head was pressed into a puddle of dirty water, jumping to answer Erwin’s questions.
You watched the way Erwin got close to the quiet man, so close that Erwin kneeled in the same puddle of dirty water that the man had his face in just moments ago. You paid attention to the surprise evident in the man’s face when Erwin offered for them to join the Survey Corps. The deathly cold, yet fiery look in his eyes when he finally looked up at Erwin.
“I’ll join the Survey Corps.”
It was the way he held himself up, dirty water dripping from the ends of his hair and raced off his chin, onto his white shirt; hair clinging to his skin, thin brows furrowed as he never broke eye contact with Erwin. It excited you.
“Introduce yourselves!”
Curiosity evident in your eyes, you watched as Levi’s gaze moved from your left to your right; from Erwin to Flagon. His gaze moved to the top of your head as he subtly shrugged, finally speaking up in a cool, nonchalant voice.
“The name’s Levi.”
Gasps. Murmurs followed. They’d never seen someone so confident, so sure of himself, so… not caring about what others said or thought of him. You couldn’t help the little twinge of the corner of your mouth.
Levi’s face remained stoic as the Commander chastised him for not having discipline, before Isabel Magnolia and Farlan Church introduced themselves. Stoic while it was Flagon’s squad that they would belong to. Stoic, with the exception of his piercing eyes focused on Flagon, disinterested yet scheming eyes, when Flagon glared at Levi; he was pissed off that he had to do the work that should’ve gone to pretty boy Erwin.
You smiled, huffing in amusement the moment Erwin made eye contact with you after the formation was dismissed. You were in Erwin’s squad, tasked with overlooking the trio’s training and making sure one of them, specifically Levi, didn’t kill Flagon.
You followed closely, hands behind your back, listening to Isabel excitedly guess where they were going. Farlan took in his surroundings, barely acknowledging Isabel, just looking around with wide eyes. For some reason, you thought they’d still be adjusting to the brightness on the surface or marveling at the sky, but you reminded yourself that maybe it was their first time up on the surface. Who were you to assume anything.
Flagon moved to the barracks, pushing the doors open, announcing that this was their sleeping quarters. It almost broke your heart when Flagon explained that women slept in a different section of the barracks, almost. With Isabel demanding to stay in the same room as her friends, Levi walked up to one of the bunks and what he did surprised you.
Levi reached his hand under the top bunk, dirt immediately falling from the surface he touched. You noticed the way Isabel and Farlan quickly closed in on themselves, worry etching itself across their faces. Their eyes frantically moved from the back of Levi’s head to his fingers, rubbing them together in an attempt to remove all the grime from his skin.
It clicked.
The worry etched on their faces as Levi inspected the cleanliness of the bunks. The worry that had been etched across their faces when Levi’s face was pressed into the puddle of dirty water.
It didn’t click for Flagon. You forget that he wasn’t there, that night at the Underground.
“You lot have been living in the dumps of the underground, but do try to keep it clean.”
“Huh?” Levi sneered, turning to glare up at Flagon.
You raised your eyebrows in amusement, deciding to step in when it got a little far over the line.
Levi took a step closer to Flagon, invading his personal space. Isabel and Farlan unsure of what to do in that moment. Do they protect their leader or do they show loyalty to their new commanding officer?
Flagon stuttered as he attempted to reign his authority over Levi. You bit back a smile, looking to the ground, squeezing your fingers behind your back. Farlan quickly stepped in, speaking up for Levi, apologizing, promising to keep the barracks clean.
With a scoff, Flagon walked away from the trio. You spared a glance back at the trio. Levi glaring at Farlan, his disbelief barely masked; Isabel was in complete shock in the back.
“Isabel, I’ll be outside to show you to the women’s section. Try not to take too long. I’ll see you two at training tomorrow,” you finally said. Levi’s eyes immediately rested on you, the scowl never leaving his face. You just smiled, offering a quick nod before twirling to make your way out of the room.
You smiled at the feeling of three pairs of eyes not leaving the back of your head.
“You say that they already know how to use the ODM gear?” Hange beamed, rubbing their hands together excitedly. You offered a simple nod, not helping the smile on your face as Hange nudged you a little too roughly on the way to the forest just outside of the castle.
You glanced over to see Isabel on a horse, riding around in ease. You tilted your head; were there horses in the Underground?
You didn’t see Farlan, but Levi was in the process of attaching the ODM gear to his being. You nodded Hange in his direction, telling them to give him his space. You noticed he wasn’t too fond of strangers, so who knew how’d he react to Hange’s… disregard to personal space.
Both of you stepped up next to Flagon, eager to watch Levi’s skills with the gear; you a little more than Hange, having already had a taste during the chase in the Underground that night.
You tucked your hands into the pockets of your jacket, left foot back and the toes of your boots pressed into the ground. You watched with fascination, sucking your bottom lip in and raking your teeth over the skin.
You nearly bit the skin when Levi pulled the blade with his right hand from its place with ease and elegance, holding the handle so that the blade protected his forearm, so that it mimicked his movement. The same way he held the knife to defend himself against Erwin’s attack. It made the hairs on the back of your neck stand at attention.
How did -
“That just might happen to you. All I have to do is slice the titan’s neck, right?” Quiet. “I’ll do it my way.”
You quickly stepped up, putting an arm across Flagon’s chest. He was fuming, but you knew that if Erwin wanted them for a reform, that they were to be trusted, that everyone needed to trust the trio’s doings.
“Give him a chance. You haven’t seen what he can do,” you warned quietly.
Levi stopped, throwing a glance over his shoulder, locking eyes with you for a brief moment just before he went off into the forest, flipping and twirling with ease.
Your eyes never left Levi’s form, even as he became smaller and smaller, completely disappearing into the training course. Not even when Hange began to babble and squeal in excitement over Levi’s movements, regardless of the lack of formal training.
“Why do you continue to defend him?” Flagon glowered.
“Why do you continue to hold a grudge towards him? Has he done anything to you personally, Flagon? Or are you just someone who doesn’t take well to someone that is better skilled? Someone with natural talent?” You simply asked, rubbing your thumb against Akiko’s, your horse, muzzle. Your other hand carefully brushed through her mane, playfully twirling it at the end.
Eyes moving to Flagon, you arched a brow, urging him to speak his truth. Instead, Flagon scoffed, rolling his eyes and crossed his arms across his chest. You rolled your eyes, turning back your attention back to Akiko, except -
“You don’t think that it’s a problem that criminals were recruited into the Scout Regiment? Into the Survey Corps? People look up to us. Now they’re going to look up to them?” Flagon fumed, disgust evident when he spat out the last word.
With that, you quietly apologized to Akiko before moving your body towards Flagon, rushing him until he was pressed against the stone wall, eyes wide in bewilderment. Finger pressed to his chest, jabbing into his sternum.
“You wanna know what I think, Flagon? I think that people like you are a fucking problem. You think the whole world knows they’re criminals? You think it matters to the people who aren’t in the regiment? Hmm?,” you growled, “you think that the people that look up to us know what we’ve done to survive? That they’ll ever know?”
Flagon was growing red in the face and you only pushed harder, your face only centimeters from his.
“Who gives a shit if they’re criminals? Are they criminals because they did what they could to survive? Or are they criminals because you and every other fucking person who thinks they’re God almighty for living on the surface assume that anyone from the Underground is just that, a criminal?”
The sound of hooves clicking against the ground, followed by feet landing on the ground snapped you out of your rage. You backed off Flagon, your face burning hot, your eyes narrowed in anger.
Flagon held your gaze before scoffing, brushing past you and out of the stable.
With a deep exhale, you shut your eyes and leaned your head back, hands clenched at your sides. You rolled your head to side, eyes growing slightly wide at Levi giving you a stoic look. No glare, no scowl, no furrowed brows or narrowed eyes.
You cleared your throat, straightened yourself out, moving to grab your things and bid Akiko a good afternoon, promising to visit her after dinner. With a gentle kiss to her muzzle, you rubbed the side of her face and left for the exit.
“You’re an idiot if you think defending us will get you on our good side.”
You stopped in your tracks, looking over your shoulder. Levi was facing his own horse, not bothering to spare you a glance. His hands gentle on his horse’s muzzle, reassuring, despite his cold demeanor towards you.
“And you’re a dumbass if you think I give shit about being on your good side, Levi.”
You walked out.
Levi was quick to discover that cloudless nights were his favorite. They didn’t remind him of the Underground.
The emeralds stuck to the surface’s dirt were nothing compared to the stars shining brilliantly in the night sky. The rich shade of blue, almost black, brought a sort of peacefulness over Levi.
Making his way to the top of the castle, Levi quietly moved to stand outside. With a cup of tea in his hand, he leaned over the edge, elbows resting on the bricks. He felt relaxed, until he glanced to the side and saw a figure. Sitting with their back against the castle, but on the raised lookover, knees pulled to their chest.
Levi allowed an annoyed sound to leave his body, rolling his eyes when he realized it was you. He refused to move from his spot, head turned towards the crescent shape in the sky. He was surprised that your presence didn’t… bother him.
Levi was also surprised that you didn’t say anything to him, didn’t even bother acknowledging him.
Levi arched a brow, sparing another glance towards you, memories from today running through his mind.
A Military Police officer called you Erwin’s bitch, taunting you, sneering that you would never be anything more than Erwin’s bitch.
Levi scoffed at the memory of you grabbing the man by the neck, slamming him down to the ground and beating the shit out of him.
Erwin just stared, watching you beat the shit out of the officer until his blood staining your shirt, splattered on your face. You finally had enough, simply wiping your face with the sleeve of your jacket, excusing yourself before walking off as nothing happened.
Levi almost smiled, taking a sip of tea.
“I enjoy the cloudless nights, too,” your voice pulled Levi out of his minitrance.
He turned to look at you with disinterest, but out of respect, after seeing what you were capable of today.
Your eyes never left the sky. The moon reflected in your irises, soft white glow accenting your features, making you… surreal.
“Seems like you do, too,” you continued, “Not to be a total creep. I just noticed that when the skies are clear and the heavens are on full display, the three of you sneak away.”
Levi’s eyes widened, a small gasp leaving him. You finally looked over offering a shy, apologetic smile.
“I don’t blame you. It’s a beautiful sight.”
You finally moved from your spot, carefully stepping down and stretching. With a tight lipped smile, you made your way to the door.
“They remind me of all the shit we went through, to be grateful,” Levi bullshitted, making you stop in your tracks.
For a moment, the silence was back, only to be broken by your short laugh.
“I don’t believe that for a second,” and you left, leaving Levi on his own before Isabel and Farlan joined him.
It had been two weeks since the return from the twenty-third expedition beyond the walls. Training resumed, research on titans continued. Erwin asked for your thoughts on the revised works of his new formation for the next expedition. This last one worked well, but Erwin strived for the best.
After confessing that he only joined the Corps to get close to Erwin for a job, that would’ve resulted in the death of Erwin and Erwin confessing that he knew all along, Levi was quieter than usual; especially after the death of Isabel and Farlan, leaving Levi alone.
You managed to pull some strings with the help of Erwin.
Isabel and Farlan’s bodies were cremated separately from the rest of the fallen scouts. Hidden underneath your green cloak, rested the urn.
It was early morning. The sky was still dark, with the exception of the light purples and blues that cleared the path for the sun’s journey across the heavens. They were your favorite shades of blues, even pinks. The quietness, the stillness that came with it was also your favorite.
Birds beginning their daily songs, the coolness in the hair and the smell of dew covered grass. The softness of the ground beneath your feet as you made your way to the edge of the cliff.
You knew Levi would be there. He’d been waking up early in the mornings for the past four days, since your squad (as you were taking temporary command for Erwin) and Flagan’s squad provided backup for Hange’s squad for the next week, due to some research and intel.
Just as you predicted, Levi sat on the cliff, feet dangling off the edge. His cloak draped over his shoulders, but you could tell he wasn’t in uniform.
You knew that he could tell you were behind him. That didn’t stop you from getting nervous. Your steps slowed, your heartbeat picked up, cheeks burning. You paused, inhaling slowly, doing your best to push the nerves aside.
“What could possibly be so important that you had to bother me first thing in the morning?”
You carefully walked closer, stopping right next to him but never sitting. The urn still hidden under your cloak, eyes softening at the sight of the first birds taking flight this early in the morning. Somehow, the urn was colder than the early morning.
“I never get tired of waking up to see the sunrise, or to see the sun hide behind the horizons and letting the moon paint the heavens in brilliant whites,” you implored softly. A little smile found its way onto your face for just a brief moment.
You inhaled, the smell of dew waking your senses, reminding you of the urn sitting in your hands. With the most care, you carefully unveiled the urn from underneath your cloak, catching Levi’s attention.
“I pulled some strings. All the fallen scouts are cremated, but their ashes are usually buried together. Doesn’t make much sense, but then again… you can’t bury all those bodies,” you rambled mindlessly, “They spent their entire life underground and I just… why spend eternity below the surface as well?”
Nervously, your eyes shifted from daybreak, past the urn and down to Levi. Lips parted in surprise that Levi was looking up at you. Furrowed brows, eyes wide in complete shock; his gaze locked onto the urn. The veins in his fingers visible from the way he was gripping his teacup.
You cleared your throat, eyes immediately moving to the ground. His reaction… it was too intimate for you to witness.
You inhaled deeply, quietly, taking a step back to set the urn beside him. You offered a small smile, never turning to look at him directly. Another few steps back before you fully turned, moving away from Levi’s spot.
Your heart pounded against your chest, threatening to break a couple ribs. You couldn’t explain to yourself why you were feeling this way after leaving the urn with -
You made your way back to the cottage, despite the quiet “thank you” you heard, tempting you to look back, to reassure that it wasn’t some figment of your imagination.
Wall Maria fell.
You watched in horror as the Colossal Titan disappeared, titans pouring in front the opening and spreading throughout Shiganshina. The screams and cries of the people embedding itself into your brain. Haunting you.
Move. Do something. Do anything
You stood there, frozen. Titans were inside the city. People were dead. People were going to keep dying unless they evacuated… or they didn’t get eaten by titans.
It was at the sound of one of the Garrison’s Captains calling out for the gate to be closed that brought you back to your senses.
“Do not close those fucking gates,” you snapped, pulling out the hand grips of your ODM gear from your jacket pockets, hidden underneath your cloak, “You are not going to leave these people to die. You are not going to abandon humanity!”
You couldn’t kill all those titans yourself. You were only to deliver paperwork to Pixis, but you found Rico instead.
You didn’t deliver the paperwork. You watched innocent people die; people who never imagined that they would live to see the walls breached by the titans. You watched the Garrisons shoot cannons at a new type of mutant titan. You screamed at the Garrisons to keep the gate open, zipping around to help whoever you could, to save those that you could. You cleared the gate of as many people as you could when the mutant titan ran towards the inner wall, the only escape.
The sound of Garrison Scouts taunting children pulled you out of your trance. He said something about the titans eating more citizens of Shiganshina, that it would’ve helped with the food situation. It made your blood boil.
You growled, reaching for your hand-grip, mind set on pulling out a blade and holding it to his neck. Until a small boy kicked him in the shin, screaming that they didn’t see the way the titans came into Shiganshina; they didn’t see family members, neighbors and friends get their bodies ripped in half.
You stopped when another small boy, a blond, came rushing to his friend’s aide. Passing the brunette’s outburst as a side effect of hunger, of trauma. People turned, their attention drawn to the dispute.
You could tell the scout was flustered, not wanting the rest of the people to think badly of him. To know his truth.
The officer walked back to his group. Just as he clicked his tongue, ready to rant, you quickly joined them. His eyes narrowed at the sight of you, but immediately widened when he noticed the symbol on your jacket.
With ease, you pulled him behind the corner of the building into the alley, making sure his friends witnessed everything. A groan left his lips when you slammed him against the wall, hand wrapped around the collar of his shirt.
“Such a shame to have such shitty people in the Garrison branch. Have you no humanity in you? Or are you a titan in disguise?” you sneered, “Would be a great reason as to why you’re in this branch of the military. Easy access, right?”
You watched the fear in his eyes.
“No, it’s not a disguise. It’s the fact that you truly are the shittiest of all people. You’re disgusting,” you growled, pushing him harder against the wall and letting go, watching him fall to the ground before walking away.
There was a soft knock on the door before you peeked in, offering Levi a shy smile. You quickly gave a small wave, pushing yourself in through the opening in the door. You closed the door behind you, leaning back onto it.
“Why are you trying to be cute?” Levi rolled his eyes, pulling down the bandana wrapped around his face like a mask.
“I don’t need to try, bug. I just am,” you replied quietly, pushing off the door to make your way to his desk.
Levi gave you a look the moment you tried to sit on his desk, swatting your thigh before you touched the desk. You offered a bashful smile, holding your hands in surrender and standing to your full height.
“Well. I just wanted to see if you were in the mood to go to the market. Mike mentioned new teas and how the smells were damn near intoxicating. I’ve been meaning to restock on some chamomile,” you trailed off, mindlessly dusting off the front of his shirt with one hand.
“Mmm. Give me twenty minutes. Maybe I’ll get extra black tea since I seem to have finished it quicker than usual,” Levi simply stated, arching an eyebrow at you.
You didn’t bother fighting the smile creeping across your face, eyes glued to where your hand rested on Levi’s chest. You finally spared a glance when Levi’s hand wrapped around your wrist, thumb rubbing back and forth against the back of your hand.
“You have good taste,” you shrugged, locking eyes with him.
Levi rolled his eyes, moving his hand from your wrist to hold your fingers, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. You couldn’t help the heat in your cheeks, shyly breaking away from his gaze and settling to your skin against his lips.
Twenty minutes later, you found yourself walking beside Levi. His hands tucked into the pockets of his black suit jacket. Levi’s hand-woven basket laid in the crook of your elbow, your other hand constantly checking your skirt pocket to reassure yourself that your money hadn’t fallen out.
“Would you stop being stupid and just put your money in the basket?”
“Levi, you and I both know you would have my head if I even thought about placing dirty money in the same basket as the goods.”
“Not if you had your money in that shitty excuse of a coin purse.”
“It is not a shitty excuse. I happen to really like it.”
“Which is why you forgot it.”
You shot Levi a side glance, pursing your lips. Levi huffed in amusement, holding his hand out. You sighed, slowing down and carefully placing your money in Levi’s hand.
Levi’s fingers closed around yours, but not all the way. Instead, his fingers easily maneuvered to slip between your fingers, but stopping at the tips. His fingers gently brushed against the middle joints of your fingers, giving your hand a slow squeeze before letting go, tucking your money into his pocket, walking off and leaving you stunned at such an assertive form of pda.
“Are you just going to stand there all day with your mouth open for the flies or are you going to buy some new tea leaves?” Levi called over his shoulder.
You made your way to the marketplace with a smile never leaving your face, the warmth of Levi’s hand lingered on yours.
At the stall that Mike mentioned, you and Levi immediately parted to opposite sides for specific interests. You sorted through the various types of herbal teas. You reached for the mint chamomile tea when a tin of loose black tea leaves was held up to you.
Leaning towards the tin, you sniffed, picking out the prepackaged peppermint tea for your own sniff test. Until Levi’s disapproving tongue click grabbed your attention.
“What?”
“Are you too good for loose leaves, brat?” Levi grumbled, moving the tin of black tea leaves from you. Your hand shot out to grab his wrist, pulling the tin back under your nose.
“You’re the brat” you sniffed, narrowing your eyes at him. Levi rolled his eyes and moved his tin again.
“Here,” Levi gave you an empty tin.
“What’s this for?”
“For your tea, dumbass.”
“Why does your face look like that?” Levi deadpanned quietly, shooting a glare Hange’s way after a particularly ear shattering squeal.
You held Akiko’s rein in one hand, the other rubbing and tugging at your fingers. The smallest of frowns painted on your lips, brows slightly furrowed. Your eyes observant as ever, yet there was sadness to them. A look so rare, Levi’s only seen it once or twice in all the years he’s known you.
“Bad feeling,” you muttered.
Everyone around you cheered, sending the best of wishes on behalf of all of humanity. Eyes bright and hopeful, children in complete awe at the sight of the Survey Corps. It did nothing to hide the fear burning bright in your eyes.
“About the expedition?” Petra piped up from your left.
Still tugging at your fingers, your gaze moved from the worn rein up to Levi. He stared back from the side of his eye, his brow arched in feign interest, but you knew that look in his eyes. That gleam of concern, the way he softened by focusing on you, the way only you knew he would.
“I just feel like… there’s something not right… about today.”
The bad feeling deep in your gut turned out to be another Colossal Titan kicking the wall, titans making their way in and hundreds of rookies losing their lives, their first times coming face to face with titans after the last evaluations were taken.
You were in Trost District, skimming for Titans, sending your squad to check around Hange and Levi’s respective squads.
You spotted three titans. Two to the right, one to the left. You decided for the two on the right.
Flipping through the air, pulling blades from their slots, opposite of yours, you heard Hange’s cheerful yelps. You heard the sound of something through zipping around, cutting through air. You could hear him inhale deeply, preparing for the impact of cutting through titan skin.
Quickly, you changed direction, aiming for the titan that was still standing, going for the kill when the sound of Levi’s boots hitting the metal roof rang through the air.
Just as you got closer, one hand twisted the handgrip. The blade was no longer upright, but held downwards, down the length of your arm; as if protecting your forearm.
You furrowed your brows, shooting the grapple hook into the titan’s neck and shooting yourself through the air, forcing your own momentum to twirl your body, cutting off a perfectly clean slice off the nape.
You landed beside Levi, eyes on his bloody hands. His handkerchief already working at his fingers, the gaps between the finger slots. He grumbled about how gross it was.
You both looked up, eyes locking. Levi’s eyes quickly scanned your body, checking for any visible signs of injuries before settling on your face. With a click of his tongue, his gaze moved back down to his bloody hands.
“You have blood on your disgusting face,” Levi pointed out quietly.
“So wipe it off.”
Levi shot you a look of warning, clicking his tongue. You grinned softly, jumping off the building, making your way down to check on your squad members, who turned their heads in the direction of Erwin.
“Pull back.”
Levi glared at Erwin, demanding to know what the change was for, to know if his men died in vain.
“Titans are traveling in groups and they’re heading north. It’s like five years ago.”
Memories of Shiganshina came flooding back. You couldn’t help the way your eyes widened, full of disbelief, of bewilderment. You couldn’t help the slight part of your lips, breathy exhales causing your body to tremble. Your eyes shot up to Erwin, then to Levi.
Levi’s eyes were trained on you. Watching every move, from the smallest twitch in your face to the way your hands shook and rubbing against each other, from trying to ground yourself. He simply agreed, telling his squad to start moving, telling your squad to start their move, too.
Blinking rapidly, you shook head and shoulders. You cleared your throat, regaining your composure. With a deep inhale, you looked over at Levi, waiting for you with narrowed eyes, lips parted.
“I’m fine. It’s fine,” you reassured quietly, sliding your blades back into place.
You walked past Levi, only to be grabbed by your bicep and twirled around, facing Levi. His facial features were soft, regardless of that damn stoic look. His eyes scanned over your face before locking with yours, his hand never leaving your arm.
“Focus on your squad.”
You furrowed your brows, preparing to counter when Levi continued, giving your arm a squeeze.
“Promise you’ll focus on your squad.”
“Levi, I always -”
“No. My duty is humanity, to my fallen men, to prevent anymore from dying in vain. I can’t fulfill my duty if you aren’t focused on your squad.”
Oh.
Oh.
“I… promise.”
The old Scout Regiment headquarters was as beautiful as you remembered, at least from the outside. With the exception of weeds, vines, and grime on the once pristine white bricks.
The sun shone brightly, casting a glow that reminded you of moonlight. The route to the castle was just as breathtaking with its path through the forest. You loved the way the sun peeked through openings of the trees’ canopy.
You rode alongside Levi, the hood of your cloak pulled over your head. You listened to Oluo explain the history of the old headquarters, why it stopped being of use by the Scouts. A giggle erupted from both you and Petra when Oluo bit his tongue.
Once arrived at the entrance of the castle, you called out to your own squad members to check the perimeter. Levi scoffed, eyes looking up at the sky.
You softened when you noticed Levi looking at one specific spot, at the tallest point of the castle. There was an opening there, where Levi broke the windows. Where the urn rested.
Akiko nudged against Levi’s horse, Ryu, before moving towards the outdoor stables. You shot him a small smile, turning around to join Eld and Gunther. You could feel Levi’s eyes boring into your back, your smile never fading.
You pulled out a simple white bandana, tying it loosely around your neck, but enough for it to cover your nose and mouth when you entered the castle. You grabbed another white bandana, holding it out for Levi as he walked up to stand beside you.
“Let’s get to work,” Levi called out, grabbing the bandana from your hand and easily untying the one around your neck. You glared at him, reaching to take it back from him, however he already made his way inside.
“Jackass,” you muttered, whistling loudly to get your squad’s attention.
Your squad and you handled cleaning the headquarters from the outside. Picking up debris, cutting the weeds, cleaning the horse stables and providing fresh water and hay, and scrubbing the castle’s exterior. The soft chatter and singing of birds filled the silence, never disrupting the peacefulness to it all.
With the use of the ODM gear, your squad and you were able to clean the windows and scrub the grime the best you could. You reached for one of the wooden excuses of a window, but beaten when Levi pushed it open, doors slamming against the brick.
Levi’s eyes bored into yours, leaning further outside of the window, closer towards you. You rolled your eyes, leaning in, too.
“Of course you’d be in this room,” you murmured, pulling down the bandana from your face.
Levi scoffed, reaching out to grab you by the lapel of your jacket, pulling you so that your legs came through the window, ass on the window sill. Your hand quickly shot out to grab him by the juncture of his shoulder and neck, fingers dancing over the knotted cloth.
“All work, but no play?” Levi arched an eyebrow, eyes scanning over your face. There was a hint of playfulness that only you would ever catch.
“Oh, there’s some play,” you grinned, fingers working quickly to untie the bandana around his neck. Your other hand hits the trigger of your handgrip, gas turning the turbines of your ODM’s main housing, pulling you out of the window and into the sky.
You winked at Levi, waving the white bandana before disappearing to another area of the castle.
Later in the night, after Hange got Levi’s permission for Eren to join her the next day and Eren being dumb enough to ask about the kinds of experiments that Hange would preforming on the two captured titans, you found yourself in the stables.
It was a cloudless night, the moon outshining the stars that scattered across the heavens. You smiled to yourself, hearing footsteps approaching.
You kept your back to the entrance, a cup of chamomile tea in one hand and the other hand held an apple out to Akiko. Ryu moved, head turned towards Akiko, as if to snatch the apple from her mouth.
“Ryu, of course I brought you one, too,” you chuckled quietly, pulling another apple and holding it out to him.
Ryu eagerly took the apple into his mouth, closing his eyes. You simply smiled, rubbing his muzzle, taking a small sip from your teacup.
“I didn’t forget about you,” you cooed, looking at Levi over your shoulder. Your eyes moved to the small table beside the entrance, gesturing to the hot cup of black tea.
Levi grunted approvingly, making a grab for his tea before walking up to you. His free hand reached up to pet Ryu’s muzzle, hand slowly settling over yours. You couldn’t help the heat in your cheeks, turning your head to look at Levi.
Levi’s face remained turned towards Ryu, yet his hand intertwined with yours. Elegantly, Levi managed to twist his fingers to cup yours, slowly tucking his thumb into your palm and fingers splayed over the back of your hand. He turned his face carefully to look at you, the same usual bored look on his face, but his eyes were soft.
The space between Levi’s eyebrows was flat, his overall facial features relaxed. He looked at you with such adoration, the corners of his mouth slightly turned upwards, bringing your hand to his chest as your fingers curled about his thumb.
“Thank you, sweet girl.”
“Come on,” you muttered to Akiko, moving the reign to get her to go faster, “come on, Akiko.”
The cottage that Levi’s squad resided in came into view, only encouraging you to push Akiko to move faster.
The sun was low, no longer the harsh heat beating down on you. The sky was blue, but littered with beautiful orange highlights against swirls of clouds. The breeze felt so good against your neck, your forehead.
You jumped off the moment you were close enough, trusting Akiko to move closer to the house as you ran to the door, not bothering to knock. You stood at the threshold of the dining room kitchen.
“Captain Levi,” you called out, stopping at the sight of everyone gathered at the table. Hange visibly shaken at the seat next to the window, Levi looking at you with furrowed brows; you never called him by his title.
There was a gleam in his eyes as you approached him, his body tensing.
“I have a message from Erwin. Nifa went to tell him about Pastor Nick,” eyes sparing a glance at Hange, “but she gave me this when she returned.”
You handed Levi a carefully folded note, your fingers brushing against his. Levi broke his gaze from yours, quickly looking over the note. He shot you a grim look, telling everyone to grab their things and move out; make it look like they were never there.
You watched everyone move around quietly, catching soft murmurs about what the note must have said. You moved your gaze back to Levi, never moving from your spot whilst he walked up to you, tucking the note back into your jacket, underneath your cloak.
You shot your hand out to cup his neck, fingers dancing along the nape of his neck, barely brushing against the shaved hair. Levi’s own hand moved from your pocket to the hem of your jacket, pulling you closer.
“I have to go back. I’ll meet you back in Trost District. Just… please be careful,” you whispered, eyes worriedly searching his face.
“Take the opposite path you came,” Levi commanded quietly, his eyes serious as they stared into yours, “outsmart those shitheads.”
“Levi,” you whispered, the worry seeping through, into your voice.
What Levi did next caught you off guard. He leaned in, placing a kiss on your forehead then on the crown of your head. His hand moved to your hips, giving you a reassuring squeeze.
“I’ll see you in Trost District,” Levi murmured, pushing you back to the door.
You couldn’t help the fucking stinging behind your eyes, not wanting to take your eyes from Levi.
“Go. I promise I’ll see you in Trost District. I need to focus on the kids,” Levi warned you softly, cupping your cheek, “We’ll see you soon.”
You nodded, running back out, jumping on Akiko and commanding Akiko back the way you came. You spared one glance back, watching the kids pile out in brown cloaks. It was the last thing you saw before directing Akiko down a different path.
You watched in horror at the sight of the titan crawling through the fields, mouth wide open and eyes watering. It was… it had to be bigger than the Colossal Titan. There was no way that it wasn’t.
Everything it touched burned, everything it was in close proximity went up in flames. It’s trails created a new valley in the ground, fires jumping off its body and onto the surrounding trees.
Your hands went limp, your eyes never leaving the creature, and for a brief moment, doubt spread throughout your body.
How the fuck were you going to take it down?
“Commander Erwin! It’s Squad Levi! They have Eren and Historia!”
Your head snapped in the direction that the Scout came from, watching as Squad Levi came right from behind.
Your eyes watered at the sight of Levi, your body shuddering in relief. You couldn’t help the soft sob that raked through your body, turning your head down, hand clamped over your mouth and eyes squeeze shut.
Slow inhale, deep exhale.
“Oi,” Levi muttered, nudging your foot with his.
You shook your head, damning the tears that wouldn’t stop trickling down your face.
“Oi,” Levi breathed, reaching over to pull your hand away from your mouth, “look at me.”
You sniffled, eyes narrowed, finally looking at him. Your vision was blurry, but you knew you weren’t imagining the soft look he was giving you, not giving a shit of who saw.
Levi’s eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes looking you over before locking with yours. His hand wrapped around yours, pulling you closer until you were centimeters away.
“I made a promise. I would have expected you, of all people, to know I keep my promises,” Levi mocked.
“You’re such an ass,” you sniffled, wiping your tears. You tried to pull away, to no avail.
The corner of Levi’s mouth quirked upwards, his hand pulling you closer while leaning in, capturing your lips against his for a brief moment. Your face burned hot, pulling away and looking around in bewilderment.
No one was around. A moment of privacy.
You allowed yourself a moment to be selfish, looking back at Levi and stealing another kiss.
This one was different. You poured everything you had, everything you felt; fear, relief, shock, sadness, hope, love. Levi reprociated the kiss. His own feelings poured into it; his own hopes, his own relief, his own moment to be selfish, just for a moment. Even the strong had their weaknesses, had to recharge.
Erwin called out that it was time to move.
Levi pulled away, but you pulled back in for one more quick kiss.
Levi hummed lowly, pulling away, shooting you a look of warning.
“Let’s go. They’re not going to wait on your ass forever,” Levi scoffed, moving Ryu away and ahead of you.
“Yeah, but you will,” you murmured, following him.
#levi x reader#levi ackerman x reader#aot fic#captain levi x reader#levi ackerman#snk x reader#aot x reader
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A very, very angsty one-shot. Warning for pregnancy loss. Crossposted on my Ao3.
-
Clouds of noxious smoke filled up the crystal cavern, wall to wall. It was only as Levi soared above it, over it with the vigilance of a hunting hawk, that he watched as the hook buried itself in Hange’s left shoulder. Time seemed to slow before his eyes, and that infernal shot was followed by three resounding bangs, each louder than the last in his ears. bang. Bang. BANG.
The bullets were cloaked in sprays of red as they impacted Hange’s falling form. The hook unlatched and the assailant retreated in a burst of steam, but Levi’s eyes never strayed from the squad leader.
“Hange!” More than one of the kids shouted her name in distress as the cavern began to shake.
She struck a pillar, body limp, then slid down its faceted surface, leaving a trail of dark crimson in her wake. One of her hands cupped her bleeding middle, blood welling between her paling fingers.
Levi cursed, dropping down to her side. The others were already crowding around, chips of glittering crystal were beginning to rain down from the cavern’s high ceiling.
“Hange?” There was so much blood. It pooled around her, seeping out of her middle and between her legs. Her eyes were half open, aware but glassy. It looked like one shot had struck her sternum, another just beneath her breasts, and the last had lodged itself in her lower abdomen.
“You-
She coughed, blood spattering from her lips.
“You need to get... get out of here,” her fingers worked weakly against the smooth floor, body tensing like she meant to sit up. “I can’t... just leave me.”
Levi shook his head, pressing a gentle hand into her good shoulder, “Fuck that. Stay down. Moblit, Armin, can you carry her? She needs medical attention, now.”
The men in question rushed to scoop her up, suspending her between their bodies. She winced and sighed, breath coming out in stuttering gasps.
Levi watched them retreat, biting back a torrent of emotion as Hange’s toes dragged trails of blood into the floor. She was close to death, that was obvious. Three pellets of lead had lodged themselves into her insides and torn her body asunder.
Hange Zoe.
His Hange.
The Captain’s heart was in his throat, hands shaking. He wanted to hit his knees and scream and beg whatever powers loomed above to spare her. He’d already lost so much. Levi felt as though his heart were being rendered in two. He would gladly have taken those shots for her, if it were possible, to spare her the pain and fear that accompanied death.
Just the night before she had been so lively, excited for the coming battle. Sweaty over him, moaning under him. Kissing him. Whispering his name in mantra, like a prayer.
Now he wasn’t certain that they would ever make love again, and he couldn’t even be at her side as she faded.
It was Jean who broke him from his trance, “Your orders, Captain?”
Levi shook his head, eyes still stinging, but no tears were shed. He steeled himself, braced himself for the ultimate loss of another friend, a companion, his secret lover. He was a wounded man, but also he was a soldier, and he had a duty to uphold.
Anything for the greater good. Everything.
When he spoke, motioning with his blade towards an opening in the crystal, his voice was low, dangerous, deadly and dripping with venom, “We kill Rod Reiss.”
Someone had to pay for what had happened to Hange. The true king of the accursed Walls would do nicely.
-
Rod Reiss was dead and Hange was alive.
Upon his return from Orvud, that was all he knew of her condition. Alive. Badly injured, he knew. But gracefully alive.
Levi wasted no time in stabling his horse and rushing through the neatly laid halls of HQ towards the infirmary. Perhaps he was being too obvious, perhaps the kids would catch on to his attachment, but he didn’t care. Hange was all that mattered, he cared about nothing else in that moment.
They were keeping her in a private room, a benefit of her rank. Levi had no intention to leave her side for any longer than it took him to bathe.
When he arrived he found Erwin had beaten him there. The man stood in a shaft of golden sunlight, it caught in his blond hair and brightened his icy eyes, which were paradoxically grim. Dust motes danced around him. Beside him stood redheaded woman in white nurses garb. Her lips were pursed, and when she spotted Levi in the doorway her expression darkened.
Ignoring them entirely, Levi rushed to the side of the bed where Hange lay on top of the linens. She was naked from the waist up, but her entire upper body was bound in fresh bandages. There was a cool rag laid over her forehead and eyes. Relief flooded Levi’s chest and pooled in his gut. He knelt beside the bed, grateful for her peaceful expression and the steady rise of her chest.
“Has she woken up yet?” Levi asked, gaze unwavering. He took her hand in his, not caring that the Commander was watching over his shoulder.
“No,” The nurse answered. Then she cleared her throat, “Mr. Ackerman, there are some complications we need to discuss.”
Levi’s thumb stroked over the backs of Hange’s knuckles. His brow furrowed and he scowled, forced to look away from his lover and at the nurse, “What?”
His irritability seemed to surprise the woman, who took a step back. Levi’s reputation had clearly preceded him.
Erwin laid a hand on her shoulder smiling sadly, “It’s okay, Nyla. I’ll take care of things here.”
“But Commander it’s standard procedure that I inform-
“Shhh,” he shushed her delicately. “Dismissed. Take the rest of the day off.”
She pursed her lips, but didn’t argue any further, retreating from the room on light feet.
“What’s going on, Erwin?” Levi demanded, “You were both acting like someone shit the bed.”
“Succinctly put,” the Commander answered, dryly. Then his expression darkened, and he continued. “I’ve known about the relationship the two of you share for some time now.”
Levi paled, “Shit.”
Erwin sighed, “Though I believe relationships between comrades are ill-advised, I’m not going to stop you.”
“How did you figure it out?”
His thick eyebrows shot up near to his hairline, amused, “Hange isn’t particularly quiet in bed. One stroll by her quarters was all it took.”
Levi rolled his eyes, squeezing Hange’s fingers in his. Of course it was her fucking sex moans that gave them away, “I always tell her to keep it down.”
Erwin cleared his throat, “That’s besides the point, though. I’m only informing you that I know as preamble for what I’m about to say. Levi, please sit on the bed. This is going to be quite the shock.”
Feeling suddenly cold, Levi obeyed without a word. He still held on to Hange’s hand, her touch anchoring him to reality even from sleep.
“When Hange arrived here she had already been stabilized, save for profuse bleeding from the vagina. They managed to dig out the bullet that had perforated her uterus, but the bleeding continued for some time.”
“But she’s okay now, right?” Levi glanced back at her, down her lean body and between her thighs. She was wearing simple grey pants. They were unstained by blood.
“She was pregnant, Levi,” Erwin stated, his voice was even and his eyes were emotionless. “They believe she was between three and four months along. The baby was killed when she was shot.”
Levi went rigid, hands beginning to shake in his lap. His slate eyes widened and he looked up to Erwin with pure confusion and blended agony swirling in his eyes.
“That’s not... that’s not possible,” his voice shook, his heart thundered in his aching chest. She had taken a contraceptive tea... Him? A father?
Erwin pursed his mouth, extending a hand to rest on Levi’s shoulder, “I’m sorry, Captain.”
Levi dropped his head into his hands, closing his eyes tight. It hurt. God help help him it hurt so badly. Every inch of him ached. They gave up so much for this life, and they did so willingly, happily even, but this was simply too much. A baby. Hange had been carrying a baby. Their baby. A baby that they had made together.
“I need,” real, tangible tears stung at the corners of Levi’s eyes. “I need a moment, Commander.”
Erwin nodded his head and left the room without another word, shutting the door carefully behind him.
Finally alone, Levi turned to Hange where she lay unconscious. Her breath was even, chest rising in steady intervals, blissfully unaware of what they had lost. There was no way she had known, she would have told him immediately if she had even suspected she was pregnant.
Levi cried silently, staring at her peaceful face. The tears were hot against his skin, and no matter how he tried he simply couldn’t stem their flow.
He’d had a chance at a family, a life beyond the Survey Corps, beyond all of the violence and carnage and death. A fleeting, beautiful chance. And now it was gone, cruelly ripped from his hands on the floor of that damned crystal cavern.
He looked out the window, at the sky which had once awed him as a boy from the Underground. Now the blue seemed dull, the sun dim.
Nothing good ever seemed to stay.
Nothing save for Hange, who still breathed peacefully beside him. He pulled a chair up beside the bed, content to wait at her side until she opened her wine-colored eyes again.
-
It was two more days before Hange stirred, and when she did it was well past midnight. On the wall the steady ticking of a clock had lulled Levi into an uneasy sleep in his chair. Moonlight was the only thing illuminating the little infirmary room, splashing through the windowpane in long, silvery shafts. A vase of fresh picked wildflowers was sitting on the bedside table, courtesy of the 104th.
Hange shifted on top of her sheets, shivering slightly in the cool air. Even that tiny reflex pained her, and she made a small discontented noise that awoke Levi with a start.
“Levi?” She exhaled painfully, wincing as her shoulder pulled when she turned her head to face him. Her eyes brightened at the sight of him, ruffled and half asleep beside her. She smiled at him, “Levi, guess what?”
Levi leaned forward, hand reaching instinctively to touch her cheek before dropping to settle over her own hand, “What, four-eyes?”
“I’m not dead,” she wheezed out a laugh, which quickly morphed into a moan of pain.
“No joking around right now,” Levi scolded softly, standing to help cover her with a blanket. “You need to rest.”
Hange’s smile fell as she watched him unfold the blanket then drape it over her body, “Somethings wrong.”
“Nothing’s wrong,” Levi lied, unable to meet her eyes.
“Don’t lie to me, little man. I can read you like a book.”
Levi settled back into his chair, “I’ll tell you later, alright? Get some sleep.”
“No,” she would have crossed her arms if she weren’t full of bullet holes. “Tell me now, Levi. Your eyes are a little swollen, you never cry. And you’ve got dark circles. Something bad happened. Tell me now... oh my God, are the kids alright?”
She actually started like she might sit up, frenzied by the thought. Levi rushed to ease her back down onto the pillows.
“Easy four-eyes. The kids are fine, I promise,” he soothed. He took her hand again, stroking her knuckles.
“Then what’s wrong?”
Levi bowed his head, watery eyes obscured by his hair. His very soul ached as he whispered the words, “I love you, Hange.”
She went very still under his touch. They had never said those words to one another before, each afraid it would make what they had too real, too painful were one of them to die. But it was obvious to Levi now that their apprehension had never mattered.
“Levi...”
“You were pregnant,” he choked. “You miscarried when you were shot. Three to four months along, they said.”
Tears were streaming down his cheeks again, glimmering with a beauty that belied their source. His insides were a tangled mass of barbed wire, blood, and pure, unadulterated sadness. Everything hurt.
Hange was quiet for a while, hands folded neatly over her middle, eyes trained on the ceiling.
When she finally spoke her voice was so soft, so low that Levi could barely make out the words, “I should have known. All the signs were there but I ignored them as stress. Oh God, Levi. I should have known.”
Levi leaned onto the bed, “You can’t blame yourself for this.”
“Can’t I?” Wincing, she raised a hand to touch her forehead, “I went into battle pregnant, I allowed myself to be cornered and shot, pregnant. How did I miss this? How? I killed our baby.”
“No.” Levi said, fiercely, “Kenny and his damned fiends killed our baby. Rod fucking Reiss killed our baby. They’re all dead now. I made sure of that.”
Tears were brimming in her eyes now, and Levi couldn’t help but touch her cheek.
“We needed you there, Hange,” he said, softly. “We’re soldiers. We have a duty to the people of the walls, no matter what.”
The last three words were painful to say, but it was true. Their duty came above all else.
Hange cried softly for a while. Levi held her hand, crying silently with her. He touched her face, her hair, her hands. Eventually he leaned forward to kiss her gently on the mouth. She tasted of salt and blood, and she cupped the back of his neck to deepen the kiss.
When they parted, he whispered into the narrow space between their lips, “If you had died-
His voice cracked, then. And he realized for the first time in two days that he really, truly still had Hange. As long as she was breathing at his side, everything would be okay.
“Don’t think about that,” she breathed, and kissed him again. “We already lost so much.”
Hange scooted over to the left side of the bed, patting the right with her hand, “Come here.”
Wordlessly Levi joined her on the bed. The flow of his tears was beginning to stem. He savored the heat of Hange’s body next to his, and when he rested his head on her good shoulder he could hear the steady beat of her heart. His hand ventured delicately down the taut line of her stomach, settling reverently over her abdomen, right above where the baby had been.
Hange laid a hand over his, sniffing, “Do you think... I mean, someday this will all have to end, right? Eventually?”
Levi kissed her neck, “Eventually.”
“We can try again,” she promised, voice ragged, fingers combing through his hair. “When this is over, we’ll try.”
Levi hummed into her skin, inhaling the scent of her, feeling her alive beneath his touch.
“Levi?” Her voice was clearer now, tears slowing. Her fingers were rubbing circles on his knuckles over her abdomen.
“Hmm?”
“I love you, too.”
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Tangerine
pairing — Mingi x reader (fem)
genre — fluff, angst, friends with benefits au, smut (first time)
warnings & tags — reader uses a bratty attitude as a defence mechanism, Mingi’s soft side as well as his dom side make their appearance, semi-fwb to fully being fwb, power bottom! Mingi, kinda bratty & sub! reader, handjob, blowjob, praising, masturbation, mention of cunnilingus, fingering, choking, explicit unprotected sex, spanking, pull out method, mention of blood.
word count — 4.2k
synopsis — Mingi and her agreed to help each other out whenever they need it, but after this incident...how long will it take for them to realise that their agreement isn’t only an ‘agreement’ anymore?
A drop of spit landed on her sternum as she slightly relaxed her jaw. The contrast between her body’s heat and the drop’s made her notice it as it slid down and tickled her a little. Mingi, carefully, ran his hands along the sides of her head, fingers dipping in the smooth hair until his hands met each other on the back of her head to hold her hair in the most loose ponytail.
“you’re doing so well-”, his gaze is soft when she looks at him with mouth stuffed and eyes hazy “-so so well, baby”
Her tongue ran on the underside of his cock to show her appreciation for the validation Mingi offered her, and right afterwards, she slightly grazed his tip with her teeth. Mingi sighed at that, a sigh that was content and on the verge of becoming a moan.
He pressed his hips forwards, as much as he could from the sitting position he was in. The couch screeched slightly and her hand gripped his thigh harsher in an attempt to bear the gag reflex that made its way to her. His tip found the back of her throat and her eyes watered in a second but Mingi could only see the flushed cheeks and swollen lips that had him wondering if it’s worth it, right now, to just stop everything and kiss her. It was, but he didn’t. Instead, he let himself enjoy the view of her tears making their way down her cheeks until they, somehow, disappeared.
“such a good girl -my godd”, his head fell on the back of the couch. The praise was simple and one she’s heard several times before, but that didn’t stop her knees from weakening even if they were already resting on the floor. She hollowed her cheeks, giving him a more intense pressure around the tip and Mingi groaned, letting his hands fall from her hair. y/n snickered mockingly, loving the effect she had on him and the next moment, Mingi barely took a few words out “d-don’t make me come-”, a sharp breath followed “-just yett”.
The demand had her slowing her ministrations in an instant...her eyebrows furrowed in confusion and her lips detached from him with a wet pop that echoed louder than she expected. Only her hand kept pumping him slowly, just enough to keep him hard “no?”
“no”
“did I do something wrong?”, she asked, looking up at him, even though she already knew she was doing great. Her only view of his face was his Adam’s apple that was dancing pathetically inside his throat while his chest rose and fell constantly and his hand was gripping the wearied fabric of the couch harshly.
“no”
“what is it then?”, she cocked a brow, though he couldn’t see her.
Mingi took a moment to calm down. He was way too close and he only realised it now that she stopped.
“I just- fuckk-”
As he had just managed to stabilize his breaths, she licked a stripe from his base to his tip making shivers wash his thighs. It wasn’t unusual for her to tease him like that, so the reaction didn’t go unnoticed and the mocking smile from before made its appearance again before Mingi tried his best to finish his sentence. “-want us to try something new”.
She tilted her head in confusion, “right now?”
“right now”
“all of a sudden?”
Mingi nodded and felt his heart tightening. He didn’t know how she’d react to his idea, especially since it wasn’t a part of their deal.
To him, y/n was the good girl that had his body shaking and his dick twitching just by the skills of her mouth and hands, and to her, he was the guy that had her legs quivering and her lips releasing lustful moans just by the games of his tongue and fingers inside her. They were only that for each other and just that...until now.
Mingi needed more, he’s been needing more for quite a while now, actually. He needs to feel her all over him, on him, around him, under him, however she likes as long as it is only for him, and he needs it desperately...even though it isn’t a part of their agreement.
He doesn’t only want her to wrap her pretty lips around his tip anymore, but to lay her lips upon his and to rest her tongue inside his mouth...he wants her to tangle her fingers in his sweaty locks and be able to look at her in the eyes as she does and he, especially, wants to finally hear her pretty sounds, all of them, without her trying to hold some back.
“I want you to ride me”, Mingi spoke fast.
“what the fuck?”, was her first reaction “that wasn’t a part of our agreement”, she let him go.
“I know...you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to”
A moment of complete silence followed, with only their breaths -especially Mingi’s heavy one- echoing in the room. y/n looked as if she was ready to defend herself any minute and Mingi couldn’t blame her. What he was asking for, after all, wasn’t just a favour, he was asking her to lose her virginity to him and he was no one important or special to her.
Anyone reading this right now would’ve guessed that y/n isn’t a virgin, but appearance is often deceiving. Other than foreplay (lots of it), she’s never had penetrative sex with anyone before, as surprising as that may sound. That’s why Mingi was insecure about what he was asking for.
“I just thought-”
“if you want me to do that-”, she talked back fast.
Mingi waited to hear what she had in mind.
“-you'll eat me out twice next time I come over”, she said while standing up and trying to regain her balance because of her sore knees “you owe me for blowing you, anyway”
Mingi was the one who was taken aback now. Her first reaction had made him decide that there’s no way she’d agree, and now she wasn’t only willing to do it, but demanding and straight forward too. The stereotypes had taught him that when a girl decides to lose her virginity, she does it with someone she trusts and she’s shy and, maybe, a little scared before doing so. Mingi was either foolish enough to believe those stereotypes or y/n didn’t see virginity loss as something as important as others (he didn’t even consider the case of y/n actually wanting to lose her virginity to him).
“deal”
His heart skipped a beat at the images that flooded his mind. As she stood up and stripped herself from all the clothings, something inside Mingi told him that he had to see her breaking down for him, to see her real self, and he only realized what was going on when she straddled him. She managed to do it without touching his erection but once he was back to real life, Mingi gripped her sides and forced her to sit on his lap, trapping his hard on between their bodies. He did it on purpose and she knew it. The sensitive bundle of nerves on his tip sensed the wetness on the thin fabric of her panties, instantly, but she didn’t seem to care one bit. It was reasonable for her to grow wet, she was sucking him off, after all.
“do you have a condom?”, she broke the silence.
“fuck”
“you asked me to fuck you and you don’t even have a condom?”
“I hadn’t planned it”
She rolled her eyes “can you at least- pull out?”
“I think so”
“just warn me when you’re close, I don’t want you coming inside me”.
Mingi nodded in anticipation and guided his hand on her back, touching her feather-like, and travelling upwards until his hand met the back of her head and his eyes, y/n’s gaze. He forced her head forward until they were eye level with each other. She looked relaxed but he knew she wasn’t as chill as she seemed. Her heart was beating faster than every other time inside her ribcage and her breaths were jerky, that’s why he stretched his neck and got closer to her face. He let her feel his calm breathing for a moment before connecting their lips simply (kissing was a part of their agreement as a ‘mood maker’ only). Her eyelids fell shut and her hands rested on her thighs but the burn inside her was still hot and bothering.
“no need for that”, he said as he broke the kiss.
“what?”
“your hands are shaking”
She looked at them and Mingi realised she wasn’t aware of it until he mentioned it. He rested both of his hands on top of hers, an action that was new both to y/n and him, since they haven’t been intimate in this way towards each other before. Everything they ever did was restricted to their primal needs and lacked any type of emotion, and this right now broke the second rule.
She shook her head as if the shaking was nothing but Mingi didn’t take long to speak the first thing in his mind, “I’ll take care of you”. His thumbs caressed her knuckles and as much as she liked this side of him, she still tried to overlook it, she tried every time.
He’s always been good to her, praising her good job, complimenting the little details, giving her all the validation she needed...the complete opposite to her. She had never shown him a single hint of deeper emotion or given him the slightest praise. Even when his fingers were buried inside her, even when she was on the verge from the pleasure he gave her and even when he called her “baby”, she didn’t show him everything she felt. She fooled herself by thinking that she shouldn’t let it get to his head when, in reality, she was just scared. If she did show Mingi how he made her feel, he’d want to get better and give her more and...she’d fall for him.
She didn’t want that but the fact that she agreed on what he had asked her for and the way her heart skipped beats at his words, said otherwise. She knew it, but she overlooked it again. Thus, she kissed him once more, only this time her hands rested on his bare chest.
Her lips moved smoothly against his in a slow yet needy pace until Mingi, suddenly, moaned. y/n smiled against his lips, barely grinding on his erection, loving the effect she had on him and careful not to make a sound herself. And as he was about to slip his tongue inside her mouth...she parted. Mingi chased after her lips but y/n lifted her body and held herself up on her knees as a careful hand found her underwear and slid it to the side. Dropping her head forwards, her pointer and middle finger massaged her clit for a bit before the neediest lip Mingi has ever seen of her, got trapped between her teeth. Her eyebrows furrowed, accompanying the bitten lip, and Mingi thought that if the expression on her face could take the form of a sound, that sound would be a breathy, ecstatic moan on the verge of turning into a needy meowl. If she only let him see that expression again, while he’s inside her, Mingi would be the happiest man alive.
He sat there, watching her in awe but the force of habit made him replace her fingers with his and stretch her hole by inserting two fingers in it, without even thinking. y/n’s breath got caught in her throat and her hands landed on his shoulders subconsciously, only for Mingi to pump them slowly to test the wetness at first. She had to be prepared for something larger so he added a third one, not long after, expecting her to moan out loudly as she always did, but she didn’t. Instead, she smiled and bit her lip in content at the new stretch. Her head fell backwards and her hand gripped the wrist that was working magic inside her but didn’t try to stop it. She let him speed up and give her the sweet stimulation she deserved.
“that was s-sudden”, she chuckled as if this was nothing, yet she was secretly loving it.
Mingi was already mesmerized by the view in front of him but that didn’t stop him from speeding up sensibly. Her wetness resounded with every thrust of his digits until he decided to bury them inside her and collide his palm with her clit. He curled his fingers while massaging the bundle of nerves, something he’s never done before, and y/n cursed. She clenched around him and that’s when she finally moaned loudly.
Mingi couldn’t wait for the moment he’d see her reaction to him getting buried inside her. He didn’t know why he wanted that so much...he’d seen her reaction to his fingers and tongue multiple times before but something about her losing it over his cock, took him to heaven.
On the same side, y/n had always thought that if Mingi was this good with his hands, there’s no doubt he’d be ten times better with his dick. She was indeed a little scared of losing her virginity, but she was much more impatient to find out if her conjectures would get confirmed. Thus, when she felt the knot in her stomach tighten, she grabbed his wrist harshly and stopped his ministrations instantly.
“I-I thought you’d fuck me”, she said out of breath.
“I was preparing you”
“Do I look like I need fucking preparation?”
There it was again...that attitude that had Mingi needing her more. Her eyes were drowsy but her voice strong and in any other case, he would get mad at an attitude like this but when it came to her, he found it the hottest thing in the world. He wouldn’t lie if he said that sometimes, when he thought of the way she acted, he got helplessly hard at times that his hand was the only solution.
She stared at him but instead of getting a response, Mingi licked his lips and moved his hand from her, to his erection fast. If she wanted it now, she’d get it now.
She was already keeping herself up on her knees, so he aligned himself with her core easily but instead of pushing in, he grazed his tip along her sensitive parts, taking the time to travel from where she needed him the most, to her clit and back again.
“fuck”, y/n sighed, the new type of friction getting her weaker than she expected. Her legs trembled and Mingi noticed and exhaled in content, seeing how such little stimulation started tearing her wall of pride down, already. It felt like her previous bratty attitude stayed in the past as her brows raised in need.
She was just as cute as he always thought she’d be and when she rested her forehead against his (as a readiness indicator he thought), Mingi found the chance to push in, wanting to see her very first and honest reaction.
To say that she didn’t let him down would be only an understatement...her breath fanned his lips, her face scrunched up and her lips took the shape of an ‘o’, and all of this while a soft cry resounded in the small living room. He almost witnessed her real self.
His tip was, for sure, larger than his fingers so her body going into autopilot mode, was understandable. She didn’t move one bit, so Mingi held her by the sides and started pushing her body down on him, slowly and gradually. Her voice broke more and more with every inch that was inserted and occasional ‘ah’s’ found their way out of her lips...it didn’t feel comfortable yet, it was painful for her. She’s never had something as big as this.
“fucking hell”
y/n shut her eyes in pain and Mingi let her take all the time she needed once he bottomed out, in order to get used to the stretch. They both knew she wouldn’t bleed (because Mingi was the one who had broken her hymen the first time he helped her out), but she still needed to adjust to something as new as this.
No words but only looks were exchanged between them when she tried to lift her body, and Mingi could’ve sworn to any God that tiny tangerine speckles danced in her eyes when she lowered and let him fill her again. A rough moan escaped him at the pressure she offered and after a few more knotty bounces her own pleasure sounds started making their own appearance. Her silk helped a lot and so did the slow pace.
It started feeling good sooner than she had expected and so, her arms rested on his shoulders as his, layed on her thighs. She moved agonizingly slow, often hissing at the girth, and once she got used to the sense, her body started asking for more.
She went faster, just enough to gain more stimulation and Mingi moaned at that. His hands were caressing her thighs in the rhythm of her bounces, his eyes were glued on her face and even if y/n wanted to increase the pace, she wanted something else more. She had the need to see him take control.
She wanted Mingi to do her as he pleased, to show her how he liked it, to be rough with her and to just...be at his mercy for once, but how would she ask for that without seeming weak?
She kept bouncing on him in a steady pace...Mingi was big, she knew that very well and he felt...perfect. Every time he got buried to the hilt, her walls tightened but Mingi wasn’t in the right state of mind to notice she was doing it on purpose. Instead he let himself enjoy it until his body started needing more and that need came out in the form of a groan that was deeper than his already deep speaking voice. He wanted her to bounce on him faster, to feel every corner of her, to feel his tip reaching her deepest parts.
“go faster”, he commanded but y/n continued moving as she was, like she didn’t hear him. Mingi tried to snap his hips upwards but it was impossible with both of them moving at the same time, so he said it again and louder this time.
“I said go faster”
y/n tried her best to keep her composure and talk to him, without her voice betraying how hard it was to think straight.
“why don’t you man up and fuck me yourself then?”
She said with effort and then stopped...with him buried inside her, twitching at the attitude she gave even now. Mingi’s eyebrows raised in surprise and y/n cocked a brow full of pride, because she knew exactly what her words were doing to him. She wanted him to ruin her and she’d get it the way she knew best...by provoking him.
“what’s that supposed to mean?”, he tilted his head, obviously bothered by her comment.
“can you even fuck me properly or is fingering the only thing you can do well?”
Mingi’s tongue poked the side of his cheek at the frustration that washed his body. He didn’t want to go hard on her for the sake of this being her first time, but her attitude hadn’t given him a single break. There’s no way he would take it anymore.
“you really don’t think before speaking, do you?”
The provocative eyebrow disappeared when Mingi placed his hands on her ass and gripped each cheek harshly. A harsh slap resounded before he lifted and pressed her down on him with full force...and then he did it again and again and again and y/n found her jaw going slack. He didn’t hold himself back at all. Her hair moved in every which way and landed on her face messily, her arms wrapped around his neck, holding for dear life, her legs lost all their strength but Mingi kept it up. He got drunk on the slapping sound of her ass against his thighs and her high pitched cries and, maybe, he liked more than he should the fact that her lips ghosted over his...open and ready to be kissed. And he would kiss her if his mind wasn’t hazy and if he didn’t want to prove that, what she’s gotten herself into was brattier than her attitude.
y/n cried out in pleasure, he reached so deep that he hit every right spot, every part that had the burn inside her turn into a big fire and she’s sure she wants to feel that more often. Even though Mingi couldn’t do it, she did it herself. She captured his lips in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss as he still bounced her on him. It was messy, but she needed it and Mingi returned it feverishly. Their noses brushed each other’s, their breaths got mixed creating a heavy sound and they only parted when y/n cursed under her breath at the part he reached.
“right there, baby?”
“pplease more”
“huh?”
“M-Mingi please”, she cried out.
They fucked shamelessly, not giving a damn about Mingi’s neighbours hearing them. They got addicted to each other’s effect.
y/n lost herself when he wrapped his hand around her throat. His dominant side was better than she had expected. No one’s ever treated her like that and only now did she realise how much she liked it.
“you’ve gotten y-yourself into big trouble, d’you know that?”, he squeezed the sides of her throat making her yelp.
“ha-harder please”
“can you even ttake it?”
Mingi said before forcing her to come face to face with him. He kept her stable right where their lips almost touched and before y/n could connect them, he snapped his hips up. Her eyes rolled back and her jaw went slack. He found it, he found that one spot and with every thrust, he hit it harder and harder and harder until she went completely crazy.
Her body trembled, her head was left on the will of his hand and her core tightened so much that Mingi felt his body burning.
She cried out for more, though she couldn’t take it. Mingi knew he had reached her g-spot, her pathetic voice confirmed it but he didn’t complain...he felt better than ever before and he loved her sounds, he always did. You could say they were the ones that brought him to his climax right after hers.
Mingi thrusted fast until he suddenly left her throat and raised her body enough to pull out fast. He pumped himself with quick, small strokes as y/n fell messily on his thighs. Her hands found his chest and her face took an expression Mingi’s never witnessed before.
Thick white liquid got spread on his thighs, right under her body but he didn’t notice it as his climax made its way to him. He let out moans, both rough and sweet, both needy and full of relief and came on his stomach and chest (some of it reached her hands too).
His arms fell on each side of his body lifelessly and his head fell on the couch as low curses showed how rough his high was. He breathed fastly and so did y/n who rested her upper body against his, not minding the cum that got trapped between their bodies.
It took them a moment to calm down. y/n was so weak she could barely move, it was even hard for her to feel her legs and when Mingi looked at her form, he realised that all that attitude she gives, hides the version of herself she’s afraid to show. She needs someone to take care of her for once, for her to not have to take care of herself by her own all the time. She wants someone to take control and guide her. He wanted to kiss her softly and tell her that he could take care of her but when he gripped her sides and slid her upwards and closer to him, she hissed lowly. Her clit got dragged on his thigh and the sensitivity was unbearable but when she raised her head and looked at him with eyes drowsy and features soft, he couldn’t help but cup her chin and kiss her.
“you fucker...you’re good”, she whispered, resting her forehead against his and making him giggle.
“I’m even better at the missionary”
“next time?”
“for sure”
How long would it take for them to realise their agreement isn’t only an ‘agreement’ anymore?
‹ previous series masterlist next ›
taglist: @barnesbabee @byekyoto @yunhozone @yunhowhoitiss @amultislifeforme @middle-of-a-wonshua-sandwich @mirror-juliet @chansungies @deonghwa @lunarmingi @toffee-hwa @lqsience @yunderland @cutemaknaegirl couldn’t tag: @joshuasfairy @yunhosillegirl
#atzinc#ateez smut#mingi smut#I had to change the synopsis bc this one fit more#mingi fluff#mingi angst#mingi x reader#first time#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#kpop fics
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Ezekiel reyes x reader
A/N: I’m new to posting/publishing my works so any feedback is welcomed! Maybe will do a part 2?? Depending on you readers. Also don't be shy to ask for more characters or different shows. ☺️
Summary: Ezekiel leaves their romantic partner high and dry as he deals with supposed club business. Y/n feeling quite lonely sends an attention grabbing video to Ez only for his phone to be left behind. After a confusing phone call with Angel, y/n decides she needs to see who Ez has been talking to. When Ez’s past crashes with his future puts Y/n in a bad position, y/n must figure out what’s better for her future and their relationship.
Warnings: Mature language, smut, oral sex, fingering, masturbation, mention of bodily fluids, mention of abuse, angst.
Word count: 3073
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Light shuffling wakes me from a blissful dream. My eyes adjust to the light shining through the window blinds. I rub the sleepiness away and make eye contact with the bare back of Ezekiel Reyes. Shamelessly, I take in every inch and mark of his body, happy that he's mine.
Ez turns around feeling eyes on him. "Like what you see cariña" (darling) the corner of his mouth curves up into a devilish smirk.
I'm sure I'm drooling at this point. Recapturing my composure, I throw a pillow at the back of his head. "It surprises me that your ego is bigger than your head" I retort.
He turns away from the dresser facing me “you didn’t mind my head size when it was between your legs,” a shit eating smile filling his face.
“Ezekiel Reyes!” I scold giggling. Warmth floods my cheeks as I hide underneath the covers. Large hands make they’re way up my legs, kisses trailing close behind them. My breath hitches as his lips make contact to my inner thigh. His teeth nip at certain spots making sure to leave many love bites. My fingers scratch the back of his head leading him further up to where my body most craved. He licks my slit, his focus now on teasing my clit.
A soft moan escapes my lips as my hips involuntarily buck up closer to him. Ez smirks kissing up to my sternum. He looks up to me with mischievous eyes. I pout from the loss of contact, “you just want to get me worked up.”
His hand molds my breast while playing with my nipple, “You look so sexy when you’re frustrated.” His hot tongue connects to my erect nipple sucking and tugging lightly, the other hand not stopping its menstrations. He bites the side of my breast causing loud moans to escape.
My hips grind against his abdomen looking for friction and much needed relief. “Fuck.. Ezekiel” my nails scratch along his shoulders driving him further on. “Please mi corazon” (my heart) I moaned, needing more of him. His hand leaves my breast, sliding down to where I ache the most. Two digits pump in me while his thumb gives attention to my clit. I ride along Ez’s hand getting closer and closer to my climax. His fingers feel like magic, hitting every sensitive part. I’m arching from the immense pressure of pleasure that’s fighting to be released. Just as I’m reaching the edge a ringing freezes Ez’s actions. Ezekiel looks to me, then to his phone across the room on the dresser, then back to me. “Don’t you even think about it,” The need for release takes over my emotional state.
Ez kisses my forehead, “Lo siento mi amor.” (I'm sorry my love) He climbs off of the bed making his way to the dresser and answers his phone. He turns away from me talking low to the person on the receiving end. I don't know if it’s my sexual frustrations or the fact that he’s acting sneaky but something was definitely up. Ez’s hush conversation ends as he rushes to get his clothes on. I sit up worried, “Is something wrong with the club? Is Angel alright? Bishop?” Here I am frustrated since we didn’t finish, yet my Mayan family could need help. Even worse they could be hurt. God I’m so selfish.
“No hermosa, everyone is fine. The club needs me for a run. I can’t say no to them,” He eases my mind. “Rest baby, I’ll be back before you know it.” He kisses my head rubbing the crease on my forehead.
“Be careful, I know it's just a run but things can go bad so quick, so please be careful.” I hug him snuggling my head to his chest hearing his beautiful heart beat.
He rubs my back holding me close, “See you in a few, sleep mi corazon” He takes my face in his large hands planting a soft kiss to my lips. After a brief moment he lets go and grabs his kutte from the corner chair. I hear the door close seconds later and sigh sadly. He just left and I’m missing him like crazy. I’m so whipped. Maybe I should show him how bad I’m missing him.
Grabbing my vibrator from the nightstand drawer, and setting my phone on the stand to catch all my naughty actions. I flip the switch to High on my vibrator moving it along my wet slit. The vibration re-excites my sensitive clit, as I rub it through my folds, lubing it up. My other hand finds my breast playing and tugging my nipple. “Ezekiel I want you so bad baby” I moan imagining his hands, his tongue, his huge thick cock. “I want you fucking every bit of me to pieces.” I rub against the vibrator gathering friction on the bundle of nerves. Feeling tired of waiting for release I thrust the vibrator into me. Not stopping to get used to the size, I thrust it fast in and out of me hitting my g-spot repeatedly. Taking my hand away from my breast I moved it down to my clit rubbing the sensitive bud to push me over the edge. “Fuck! Right there Ezekiel!” I moan arching my back. A split second later the burst of release and pleasure fills my body. I take the vibrator out seeing my cum drip along the sleek tool to the tip as I rub my orgasm out. “Would’ve been better if you were actually here,” I look at the camera. “I miss you, baby. Come home soon. I love you,” I blow a kiss toward the camera and end the recording.
After a long hot shower, I lather myself in lotion and get dressed. Checking how the naughty video looks, I send it to Ez satisfied with the results. A ding sounds from across the room. Investigating where the sound came from leads to Ez’s forgotten phone. For someone with great memory he forgets a lot of stuff. I’ll call Angel to let Ez know.
“Hey princess, you finally wise up and realize I’m the hottest Reyes?” Angel answers.
I roll my eyes laughing, “Sadly you’re mistaken Angel, Philippe will always be number one.”
“I’m gonna tell Ez you said that.”
“What makes you think Ez doesn’t know,” I smirk.
“Gross” he groans is distaste.
“Like your face. Anywho, how did the run go?”
“What run? Everyone is given the day off until the party tonight”
Confusion wracks my brain, “none of you went on a run this morning?”
“Not that I know of. What’s wrong?” He asks worriedly.
“Uh nothing, I just thought Ezekiel was with you and the guys. My mistake, sorry to bother you Angel.”
“You’re no bother princess, let me know if you need anything.”
“Okay thanks Angel, bye.” My heart sinks. Ez lied to me. He actually lied and broke his promise. Why would he do that. It has to be important if he needed to lie to me. Yea that’s it.
I look towards his phone thinking back to who he was talking to earlier. If it wasn’t the club then who? Going against my conscience I look through his messages to see Emily pop up on his recent. The messages showing meet up places on days Ez left early to do club business or met up with his dad. My heart is breaking into pieces. Shattering even more with the lies and betrayal. He knew how I felt about starting this relationship, about the trust issues, and trauma. He knew every part of me yet decided to destroy all that was built between us. Liquid drips onto my arms, I wipe my eyes not realizing the tears pouring. I don’t want to cry. I shouldn’t cry. Not over someone who didn’t truly love me. Yet I cry for the love that I gave him. I cry for being dumb enough to fall so hard for him, for giving my all to him.
~Months prior~
Slowly slipping out of strong arms I reach for my shirt and panties laying across the floor. Trying to be stealthy, I look for my missing shorts. How can someone lose shorts in a trailer?! There’s literally no way it’s too small, but of course my luck. I yelp as I feel myself being pulled back into a warm chest. Ez chuckles beside me, happy to catch me by surprise. “Buenos dias hermosa” (good morning beautiful) He kisses my temple leading more down the curve of my neck.
I hit his firm chest, “You scared me half to death, jerk!” Trying to hold back my smile, but Ezekiel being Ezekiel can see right through it.
His hand frames the side of my face as his thumb lightly trails across my bottom lip. “You weren’t trying to leave without saying goodbye were you?” His brown eyes bore into mine taking in every feature.
Not able to lie to him, “Yes, but only to get to the office before Chucky,” I explain while trying to climb off the bed again only to be pulled back to straddling Ez’s waist. “This is what got us in this situation in the first place, Reyes,” pointing to our current position.
His big hands slowly crawl their way up my bare thighs causing shivers to run up my spine. “You’re too irresistible, and you didn’t seem to mind it. I do remember you begging for more.”
Curse his memory. I hit his chest, ”Not my fault you kept following me around, I felt bad. You were like a lost puppy.” I smile thinking back to the first day we met. “Speaking of memory, where are my shorts?”
A mischievous smirk slips across his lips, “now what do I get if I tell you?” His hand now on my ass, pushing me slightly on his erection.
I jokingly ponder his question, grinding my hips slowly to tease, while tapping my chin in a thinking motion. “Hmm.. Not getting caught by Bishop, nor beaten to death. Oh and possibly get buried in the desert.” His smirk falls off his face. “But knowing Bishop he’ll probably castrate you first,” I grin thinking how protective the Mayan President can be.
He groans, pulling my shorts from behind his pillow. “Take them.”
“You were hiding them!” I laugh pinching his side teasing.
“I didn’t want you leaving,” he taps his finger along my thigh nervously.
“As sweet as that sounds, I don't want your death on my hands if Bishop catches us,” I joke.
“I want Bishop to know,” he states confidently. He sits up having us chest to chest as he watches my features. “I want us to date, be a couple in front of the club, in public. I don't want to hide it,” his hand caresses my face.
“Ezekiel,” I stop his hand. “I can’t do that. I can’t put sheer dumb trust in another person, not with my emotions and body.” Heat fills my chest from the traumatic memories. “I will not put myself in a position to be beaten down and taken advantage of.” Slipping out of his hold, I put my shorts and flats on trying to make a quick exit.
His hand gently wraps around my arm catching my attention. “I don't want you for your beauty and body, you’re so much more than that. You’re so strong and very smart, your humor and wit make you, you.” His arms wrap around my waist pulling me a bit closer to him. “I will never hurt you. I’m not that low life thug. I will never lie to you or make you feel uncomfortable. I respect you so much. Just give me a little trust, I promise you won't regret it,” he begs, his eyes full of love?
A knock on the trailer door interrupts the moment. “It’s Chucky, I brought by coffees for a morning wake up,” he explains happily.
I walk over to the door, opening it coming face to face with Chucky. “Thanks Chucky,” I take the two cups. “Do you mind letting Bishop know that I need to talk with him? He’s gonna wanna know I’m dating his prospect,” I look over to Ez smiling.
“Of course young love is beautiful, I hope to witness it myself one of these days.” Chucky sighs dreamily.
I peck his cheek, “You will Chucky. She’ll be one lucky woman,” I assure him.
Muscled arms snake around my stomach as Ez’s chest warms my back. “Chucky, y/n is gonna be late to clock in. I won't keep her for too long,” he kisses my temple.
“I love you Chucky, thank you!!” I squeal as Ez shuts the door and picks me up kissing me all over the face.
~End of Flashback~
My phone ringing brings me out of my haze. I answer it hearing the one man I didn’t want to contact. “Hey I’m calling from a pay phone, I think I left mine on your dresser. Any way I’ll be by to pick you up for the party tonight in a few minutes.”
I hold back from crying anymore, not wanting to show how hurt I am. “Don't worry about me, I’ll drive over by myself,” trying to keep my voice steady.
“Are you sure the house is on the way.”
On the way from where? Is what kills me. “I’m sure. I’ll see you there, bye.” I hung up before he could get another word in, not able to handle a longer conversation. Grabbing a duffle bag from the closet I pack every belonging of his. Erasing any sign of him from my home. As I fold the last of his shirts, his scent takes me in its embrace. I’m really going to miss him. Holding his shirt to my chest I hug it letting the last of my tears drip away.
After pulling myself together, I toss his stuff in my Jeep and head over to the club house. Chucky opens the gate and greets me. “Lovely night to let loose, huh y/n?”
I can’t help but always feel comfort from Chucky, he’s a true sweetheart. “Indeed Chucky. Make sure you get to enjoy the party a bit too.” I pat his arm before driving into the lot.
Hopping out, I head into the clubhouse to see Bishop playing a card game with Hank and Reaper. I greet the men hugging them one by one, leaving the last to be Bishop. “Can I talk to you in the temple?”
He nods a look of worry flashes across his face, “Of course mija. We’ll be back.” He tells Hank. We walk back to the temple, him taking a seat as I stand. “What’s wrong y/n? Did something happen?” He scopes out my face for any bruise or marks.
“Yes but it's not for you to worry about, Bish. Just letting you know I’ll be in Charming for the next couple of days.”
“Why are you leaving? Did the prospect do something to you?!” He starts to stand up to head toward the door.
I stop him shaking my head, “There is a job opening at the hospital there that I’ve been invited to try out. I think it’s a great opportunity for me since I’m back on my feet.” I explain leaving Ezekiel out of the situation.
“But that’s not the only reason. You look like you’ve been crying. What did the prospect do.” He demands an answer.
“Nothing that deals with the club. He didn’t touch me nor hurt me in any physical way. I can’t deal with being in a relationship, they don’t work well with me.” There’s no point in getting Ez into trouble with the club.
He gets up and embraces me, “If that’s what you want then I can’t stop you. Just make sure you’re doing it for you and not just running away.” He kisses the top of my head.
“I’ll call you when I get to Charming,” I pat his chest. “Please keep this between us, for now?” He nods his head in agreement. “Thank you for everything, El Presidente” I smile leaving him to head back to the Jeep. As I exit the club I come face to face with Ezekiel.
He smiles seeing that it’s me, “There you are hermosa,” he leans down to peck my lips. I step back avoiding the gesture. Confusion washes over him as I step around him to get to my car. He follows close behind, “Hey, wait up!” He grabs my arm only for me to yank away from him. “What’s wrong mi amor?” (my love)
“How was your run?” I steal my voice, staring at his brown orbs.
Worry taking over his emotions, “It was fine, everything went well. I’m okay.”
I scoff shaking my head at his lies. “Here,” pulling his phone out of my pocket and shoves it into his chest. “Emily has been messaging all day.”
Realization flashes through him, “wait baby no it’s not like that!” He tries to grab my hands.
“Don’t touch me. You lost the privilege the moment you decided to lie and sneak around. I don't want any part of your charades.” Tiredness heavy in my voice.
“Let me explain, please,” he pleads. “I didn’t cheat. I only helped her with a business issue,” he explains hurriedly.
“I don't need your explanation nor do I want it, Ezekiel. It’s not fair for you to live in your past, while you tell me to move on from my own. It’s hypocritical of you to think she loves you. Emily is a married woman, she loves Galindo, she’s moved on.” I sigh grabbing his duffle bag of belongings from my car dropping them at his feet. “At least I know I’m not the only stupid one in this relationship.”
“I don't love Emily, I love you, you are my everything. You make everyday worth it. I can’t lose you.”
“The problem, Ezekiel, is I don’t believe you. Your words are just that. Words. No meaning behind them. I’m not gonna give my time and trust to a man who doesn’t respect me. I’m done. It’s over. Don't contact me, don't go to my house.” I rush into the Jeep starting it and backing up out of the lot. The only thought is to drive away and don't look back. If I look, then I know I’ll turn and go back into his arms.
A/N: please feedback and let me know if there should be a part 2
#ezekiel reyes#ezekiel reyes x fem reader#mayans#SOA#ezekiel reyes x reader#smut#SOA SMUT#angst#ezekiel#reyes#angel reyes#mayan mc
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A Year (Steve Rogers x Reader)
Summary: Steve realizes he doesn’t belong in the past.
Warnings: I’m undoing Steve’s Endgame ending (I didn’t like it I’m sorry not sorry), hurt feelings, angst, also the Quantum Realm stuff is confusing so in this a week in the past is a year in present-day. Time travel is confusing.
Word Count: 3.3k
Feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy!
“I think we need to quit while we’re ahead,” Steve told you. You were shocked. You opened your mouth to speak – to object – but you quickly shut it.
The team had just come back from the time heist. You stayed behind. Your older brother, Tony, told you it was a safety precaution. If anything looks out of the ordinary, you pull them all back. They were flashed away, and in a minute, they were back.
They all had grins on their faces, each team retrieved their designated stones. But Clint had a somber expression on his face as he fell to a knee. The thud had everyone’s head snapping to his direction as the cheery atmosphere quickly decimated. “Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked his smile quickly fading. But Clint didn’t need to answer. Natasha’s absence made it clear. She was gone.
“Is this about Natasha?” You finally asked. Your head was spinning. He shook his head. You withdrew your hands from Steve’s and looked up at him with teary eyes. “Steve? Why?”
His jaw clenched as he looked away from you. He couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I… I think it’s better if we ended it, (Y/N).” His voice broke at the end as he choked back his own tears. He had a speech. He had it planned in his head. But it all went out the window when you stared up at him with those glossy eyes.
Steve thought you’d argue. You were good at arguing. You had a talent for it. He prepared himself for your outburst – in fact, he wanted you to yell at him. But you just nodded. “Goodbye, Steve,” you whispered before walking out the door and leaving the Avengers Compound – and Steve – for good. As soon as you were completely alone, your hand fell to your womb as you cried even harder.
Steve believed he was doing the right thing. In his and Tony’s separate mission to get the Tesseract and extra Pym Particles, he saw her. Peggy Carter, his first love, was mere feet away – a glass window stood between them. And Steve felt awful about the longing feeling that crept into his chest.
He had once imagined a future with Peggy. It was all ripped away from him when he nosedived into the ice.
He was thrust into a new, modern world. Boiled food items weren’t the only thing on the menu, the internet made everything accessible (not that he understood it all that much), gas prices were higher. He was displaced, but Steve adapted. He clung onto what he knew best – being a soldier.
He met you months after the first Avengers team up. Tony Stark’s little sister. You were all the Brainiac that your brother was but less arrogant (though you were just as snarky). Tony invited the team – though Thor was a bit preoccupied in the other worlds – back to New York for a charity gala. Steve saw you for the first time in a navy-blue gown with a sweetheart neckline. He eyed you for hours until Natasha accidentally (it was not) pushed him into you. His face had turned beet red as he profusely apologized. After that, you two spent the entire evening together and quickly became inseparable (much to Tony’s dismay, but he liked the idea of you with a good man… he’d never admit that though).
Everything he imagined he’d have with Peggy, he saw it with you. He had your future together so vividly outlined and painted in his mind. It was a true masterpiece.
But then he saw Peggy again. And it only felt right.
A year had passed since Tony’s death – a year since Natasha’s. A year since Steve took the stones and returned them. The plan was for him to return, too, but all that came back was a long letter attached to the shield. You were told that he returned to the past, but you knew what it meant. He returned to her. Bucky offered to give you the letter – “Steve’s farewell address” as Sam called it – but you refused. You didn’t need another goodbye. You told yourself if Steve was happy, then you’re happy.
-=+=-
But Steve wasn’t happy.
The first day he knocked on Peggy’s door and she opened it with a shocked expression. “Steve,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around him, “you came back.” They shared their long overdue dance, but something felt off. She didn’t fit in his arms the way you did. He felt as if he was jamming the wrong puzzle pieces together. But Steve told himself that he made his decision. He’d have to stick with it.
“I’m married, Steve,” Peggy admitted to him. “The dance is nice and all, but … you don’t belong here.” She shook his head at him. She looked deep into Steve’s eyes with a frown. “There’s someone else out there for you, but … it’s not me.” Peggy released herself from his arms and shut off the record player.
He spent a week in the past, keeping his head low. Peggy and her husband offered to let him stay with them for the time being. Steve didn’t know why he stayed in the past for as long as he did.
Perhaps he was looking for a reason to stay, but deep-down Steve knew. He didn’t want to return to the present knowing he had hurt you. He was wrong for doubting the love he had for you. When Peggy had told him there’s someone else out there for you, his mind instantly went to you and your teary eyes. The last time he saw you, you were crying because of him.
He just knew he had to right his wrongs.
-=+=-
“Nathaniel,” you said sternly as you tried to feed your baby his bottle. The pot on the stove started to release some smoke. “Bucky, little help?”
Bucky laughed as he took the infant from your arms, allowing you to refocus on cooking. “Okay, little man, you heard your mama… Say ahhh.” It took a few moments, but Nathaniel finally obliged and opened his mouth. Bucky fed him and then soon began to burp him.
“Oh, he’s so big!” A voice called out. “Look at you! (Y/N), he’s gonna be a future lady killer.” Sam emerged with gift bags in hand. Nathaniel grew excited upon seeing him. Sam cooed at the baby that rested in Bucky’s arms for a few moments before walking up to you. He gave you a friendly peck on the cheek and giving you a tight hug. “And Happy Birthday to you, (Y/N).”
Hours later, your guests started arriving at the Stark Tower. (Tony had left it to you as a parting gift after he and Pepper moved into their cabin. “It’s as much yours as it is mine,” Tony told you. “I mean we share the last name.”). The party was intimate. Your closest friends – the ones who’ve been with you every step of your pregnancy – were the only invitees.
You cooed at your baby in your arms. His eyelids grew heavy as he curled deeper into your arms. You smiled before putting him in his crib. You stared at him, admiring your creation, although your heart did ache. He looked so much like his father.
You grew teary eyed once again. You bit your lip to stop the sob. “C’mon, (Y/N), there are guests downstairs,” you told yourself. “Pull yourself together.”
“Hey, doll,” a soft voice whispered. You turned to meet Bucky’s soft eyes.
“Sorry,” you muttered, wiping away your tears. “Hormonal.”
“C’mere,” Bucky motioned for you and you walked over to him. He knew it was more than just hormones. He engulfed you in his arms, rocking you both side to side slightly.
After Steve’s departure, you and Bucky found solace in one another. Bucky thought it was an unlikely friendship – he did kill your parents after all. But you found comfort in the once super assassin despite his misdeeds to your family. (To you, it wasn’t Bucky who killed them). Although Bucky didn’t agree, you felt as if you were both tossed aside by the same man.
You didn’t even get the chance to tell Steve you were pregnant. You didn’t tell anyone. Bucky was the first person you told. You begged him to keep it to himself. You were hellbent on going through it alone, but Bucky was the one who rallied everyone behind you. Pepper, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Wanda – he made sure you weren’t alone.
After you gathered yourself, you returned to the small get together. You chatted amongst your guests for a while before Wanda excitedly clapped, “okay! Presents time!” Everyone took turns giving your gifts. You told them they didn’t need to, but everyone insisted.
“Best for last!” Bucky called out. He stood up from your side, sifting through the mess of wrapping paper to find his gift. “Aha!” He called out, triumphantly lifting a neatly wrapped box.
“Hello?” A voice called out from the elevator entrance. You felt the color drain from your face, instantly recognizing it. Everyone else frowned as they turned towards hallway and out emerged, Steven Grant Rogers.
“Steve?” Sam said in disbelief.
Bucky’s eyes glanced from you to his friend. You were shaken. It was as clear as day. You sat stiff and tense in middle of the couch, your wide eyes were trained to the floor and your jaw was so clenched he was afraid you’d break your teeth.
“What – it’s great to see you,” Pepper greeted, similarly shocked.
“Likewise,” Steve nodded. You felt your heart thudding against your sternum as your ears grew hot. “Everyone… It’s great to see you all.” He licked his lips nervously as he walked into the heart of the party, the living room. “Happy Birthday, (Y/N)…”
Attention quickly shifted to you. Your hands had clenched into fists and were shaking. Everyone knew what was coming. You had kept it all in for a year… It was bound to come out.
They were expecting rage, but all you said was a quiet, “get out.”
“(Y/N) – “ Steve began.
“GET THE FUCK OUT.” You finally snapped. Everyone winced. There was the rage they were waiting for. A year of bottling it all up had you finally exploding. You quickly stood up and stomped over to Steve. You grabbed his arms and began to pull him towards the elevators, but the super soldier didn’t budge. “Get the fuck out of my home, Steven.”
“(Y/N), please – “
“No! You don’t get to come back, Steve!” You screamed, your tears running down your face. “You left. Remember? You broke up with me and then you left. You went back to Margaret freaking Carter. My brother died saving the universe and you left!” You pointed at Bucky. “Remember him? Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky,” Steve winced at your harshness. “You fought so hard to get him back. You fought against my brother to save him. And you ditched him like you ditched me. I don’t want to know why you’re back. I don’t care. Get the fuck out of my home, Steve. You son of a – “Your anger quickly diminished as soon as you heard it. It was faint. The thick walls of the tower muffled it, but you heard it. “Oh, god, Nathaniel.” You rushed back up the stairs.
It was as if he had sensed your anger because he surely couldn’t have heard your yells through the walls. You took him in your arms as you began to coddle him, shushing and cooing at him to ease him. “I’m sorry, baby,” you whispered, tears still falling. “Mama’s sorry.”
Steve wanted to follow you. He was confused. Nathaniel? He took two steps before both Sam and Bucky stopped him. They shook their heads, silently telling him it wasn’t the best idea. “I – I …” Steve stuttered but nothing came out. “I’m sorry, Buck. Sam.” He finally said. “I’m sorry to all of you. I shouldn’t have left the way I did especially after Tony… I’m sorry Pepper.”
“I’ve made my peace with it,” Pepper smiled sadly.
“We all got over you leaving, eventually,” Sam said.
Bucky pointed up the stairs. “But she hasn’t…”
“Everything happened so fast, Steve… One minute you loved her, the next you told her you wanted to end things. Then, her brother dies. On top of everything, she was pregnant… She put on a brave face for us,” Bucky sighed. “She told herself she’d survive for her baby and that’s what she did… But man, she struggles daily…”
“She was pregnant?” Steve asked. Why didn’t you tell him?
“And you come back on her birthday of all days?” Sam scoffed.
“I have a kid?”
“No,” Bucky shook his head. “She has a son. You can’t waltz back in here after a year and have your old life back, Steve. It may have been – what a week? – for you, it’s been a year for us.”
“But I’m back… for good. I swear,” Steve said. “I… I don’t belong in the past. I never did. I belong here. I just want to talk to her.”
Sam and Bucky shared a look. Sam nodded but Bucky stayed still. He looked back at his oldest friend with a glum expression. “If she wants you out, you leave. Got it?”
“Buck – “
“I mean it. You weren’t here for a year, but I was. I was the one who held her when she broke down. I was the one who force fed her when she refused to eat. I was the one who got her out of bed. I was the one who was there when they delivered her baby. You weren’t there for her for a year.” Bucky snapped. “So, if she wants you out, you leave. No ifs, ands or buts. Got it?”
“I do,” Steve nodded. “I do.”
-=+=-
Steve wasn’t sure which room it was, but then he heard, “it’s okay, baby… Mama’s here.” He followed your voice to a dimly lit room – the only light was a crescent moon lamp that was hung on the wall. He leaned against the doorframe of the room, admiring the nursery.
The walls were painted a light, sky blue. There was a white wooden crib and a matching wooden shelf. (They were housewarming presents from Clint’s family). The room was very neat for a nursery. The toys were tucked away in crates and everything was organized.
He watched you as you bounced your baby. You softly whispered sweet nothings to his ear, lulling him to sleep. Steve felt a pang in his chest. It dawned on him that he missed a year of this. Soon, the baby was fast asleep, and you placed him back in the crib.
You stared at him again. You always did. An 18-hour labor brought you this miracle, so, of course, you would admire him. He was never fussy, never too difficult. (You liked to think karma gifted Nathaniel’s calm temperament to you because of all the shit you had to go through). He looked so much like Steve. Except your eyes. He got your eyes.
“Come look,” you whispered. You knew he was in the room. You could always feel when Steve was nearby. Steve detached himself from his position, eager to get a glimpse of your child.
“He’s beautiful,” Steve muttered in absolute awe.
“Nathaniel Anthony Stark,” you said, softly. “He was 8.6 pounds. 18-hour labor. Healthy pregnancy.”
“I’m glad.”
You sniffled but quickly wiped away your tears. “The pushing part, though… God, I hated you.” Steve frowned and glanced at you. You looked back at him. The same teary look you had given him when he broke up with you. “I never talked about you after you left, but when the labor pains kicked in, god,” you chuckled, “I cursed you out so much. I wish Bucky recorded it.”
Steve smiled a bit. “I’m glad he was there for you.”
“I think he felt responsible,” you shrugged. “His best friend knocked up his girlfriend, broke up with her, then chased an old flame.”
“I’m sorry,” Steve sighed. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You nodded and led him into the hallway.
“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you said as soon as the door was shut. “I… I just saw you and the rage – I should’ve controlled myself.”
“I deserved it,” Steve assured you. “You deserved a decent explanation and I couldn’t give you that.”
“I didn’t give you much of a choice… I just left,” you shrugged. “But I know how you get. If you made up your mind, it’s a done deal. No use in arguing.”
“I was conflicted,” Steve admitted. “When Tony and I went back, I saw her, and I reminisced. I remembered everything I wanted with her…” Your face fell. “I went back with the intention of staying there.”
“I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want an explanation.”
“No, please,” Steve begged. “Please, (Y/N).” You bit your lip and sighed before nodding. “I made a mistake. I knew it when Peggy and I were dancing.”
You smiled at that. “You finally got your dance with her.” You remembered the story. You remembered how your heart broke for Steve when he first told you.
“I did,” Steve nodded. “But it didn’t feel right.” You frowned at that. “Peggy and I aren’t meant to be. I know that now. We don’t… we don’t fit. Her life went on without me. Time moved on. And I moved on, too… with you. I remembered a time when I wanted a future with Peggy, but I can’t envision it. Not anymore.
“But when I think of the future with you… I see a wraparound porch and a sweet home by the lake. I see Christmas trees decorated every year and Thanksgiving dinners. I see a ring around your finger – a simple diamond. You weren’t like Tony… you were never really into flashy things. I see a family,” he gestured towards the nursery. “I want all of that with you.”
“My life has been on a standstill ever since you left,” you confessed. “I can’t bring myself to move on. I couldn’t. I saw a future with you and only you. And then you were gone, I didn’t want a future anymore. But I had Nathaniel. I had to keep going if not for me, then for him.” You looked at Steve with those same teary eyes.
“You broke me, Steve. I can’t even explain how it felt. I woke up every day and I felt like I was in hell. I can’t… I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”
“Then, don’t…” Steve said. He reached for you and you let him hold you in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. Words can’t describe my regret. I swear to you, on my life, I will never abandon you again. I’m here for good. And I’ll never leave.”
“You shouldn’t promise that,” you shook your head. “Something will always – “
“You’re my present and you’re my future.” Steve promised. “You don’t have to forgive me yet, but I want to make it up to you and Nathaniel if you’ll let me?”
You looked at Steve before sighing. “Okay,” you nodded. “Okay, Steve.”
“I love you.” He blurted out. His eyes widened in realization. “You don’t have to say it back… Not yet. But, it’s the truth… I love you and I’ll love you until I die and even after then.” You smiled at him softly before nodding.
“Okay, Steve.”
You wanted to say it back. It only felt natural to do so. But you restrained yourself. You wanted to heal the relationship with Steve first.
(But soon enough, after several long months, and many of Steve’s I love you’s only to be met with an “Okay Steve”… You were able to return those three words).
#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers#steve rogers imagine#chris evans imagine#chris evans x reader#chris evans#angst#fan fic#marvel#captain america x reader#captain america#captain america imagine#imagine#fiction#fluff
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Moving On - Chapter 4
Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic
Masterlist
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Character Pairing: Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader
Word Count: 2107
Rating: E
Warnings: Smut (MF, oral sex, vaginal sex, accidental exhibitionism/voyeurism)
Synopsis: You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life. You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world. Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.
Then Thanos comes.
When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving. Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy.
Gradually you open your heart up to another. Carol Danvers has lost people too. First her daughter, then her wife. As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.
So what happens when Sam is returned to you?
Chapter 4: On the Run
It is strange how quickly your whole world can change. One minute you’re planning a wedding and living in the Avengers Compound in Upstate New York, an official agent for the Avengers. The next you’re considered a war criminal and you’re on the run with your fiance and three other people, one of them who happened to be Captain America.
It had been like a slow-motion car wreck watching everything go wrong. First, there was a completely unnecessary fight against your friends in the airport because no one wanted to listen to each other. Then you’d been arrested by people who you’d once considered not just friends, but family. Then you’d been shipped off to some secret supermax prison in the ocean for enhanced individuals with no trial, even though you weren’t enhanced. Then Steve Rogers had busted you out and you’d ended up on the run.
You were with Sam though, and you’d rather be with him on the run knowing you were on the right side of the fight than safe in New York alone.
You’d all been trying to make the most of your time working as vigilantes. There had been a lot of alien tech ending up in the hands of criminal organizations and Steve had been leading your little band of merry men to go and get it back.
Things weren’t easy for any of you. There was a lack of money coming in and everyone had had to quickly withdraw their entire savings before the government blocked all of their accounts. Thankfully Steve’s pension from the army had accrued a lot since he’d been lost at sea, but he hadn’t been able to withdraw all of it.
It had meant that a lot of the income came down to you, as out of everyone - you were the least recognizable. Yes, there were alerts out for you, but you were a spy - you knew how to disguise yourself and you knew where to find under-the-counter work when needed.
The trick was never staying in the same place for long and returning to countries that didn’t sign the accords. Even those weren’t safe for long - Ross was not above sending people into countries illegally to detain people who he was hunting - Bruce Banner was a testament to that - but they were safe for a little while and meant that once a month rather than sleep in the stolen Quinn, you could splash out and get a hotel. Although you were pretty sure that Wanda was often sleeping in hotels - with Vision most likely - anytime she said she needed to have some alone time.
You woke up and stretched on the cold metal floor of the Quinn, your spine popping loudly. Sam shifted in close to you, his arm draping over your sternum and his hand resting on your neck so his fingertips lightly caressed your jaw. “Was wondering when you were gonna wake up,” he murmured.
“Is it late?” You asked, blinking your eyes in the dark of the jet. There was light coming in through the cockpit window, but it was low and you couldn’t tell if that was because it was early or just overcast outside.
“Not particularly,” he said, his hand running down your neck and over your collarbone. “You just normally sleep like shit in the Quin.”
“Who says I didn’t,” you grumbled, rolling in toward him, and breathing him in. There was an acrid sting to his scent thanks to the fact that neither of you had showered for a few days. You were all due for a trip to somewhere remote with beds and good water pressure. Steve had said maybe going back to Wakanda for a few weeks was in order. He didn’t like to go too often because T’Challa had already extended himself above and beyond anything that was fair to ask of him just by harboring Bucky. But it had been over six months since any of you had been there, and you had accumulated a lot of alien technology that you knew Shuri would love to get her hands on.
Sam chuckled and his hands ran down to yours, linking your fingers together, and playing with the engagement ring that sat on your finger. “What if we just get married in Wakanda?”
You looked up into his eyes. They looked black in the dim light and when he smiled at you, the corners of them crinkled slightly. “I’m not sure that’s what you really want,” you said. “Don’t you want Sarah to be there? And the kids?”
Sam frowned. Sarah’s kids had been two and four years old when you’d gone on the run and every month that he missed of their lives hurt him. He’d been sending money back to his sister to keep the family business running back when you’d both had actual jobs, but these days he was barely scraping by himself.
He sighed and nuzzled into your neck. “I just want us to start our lives together.”
“I know, but life had other plans,” you said. “I love you and I don’t need to get married to know that. It’s not going to change anything. We will still be on the run and we won’t be able to build a stable life and have kids.”
Sam sighed and leaned his forehead against you. “I know, but I want you to be my wife.”
“I am your wife,” you said.
“Not legally,” he said.
“We don’t do anything legally at the moment,” you said, playfully. When Sam didn’t laugh, you sighed and wrapped your arms around him. “Sam,” you said. “If you really want to get married in Wakanda, I’ll do it. I’m sure I can get something nice to wear together, and Nat and Wanda can be my bridesmaids. I’m sure given how close we’ve all gotten they would be who I’d have picked anyway. Just like I know you’d have Steve be your best man. But I know you. This isn’t really what you want. You want the big wedding down in Louisiana like you always planned. With the catering done using fish that were caught by your family’s trawler and you want AJ and Cass to be our little ring bearers. And I know… I know that if you do this - if we get married in Wakanda without Sarah, she’ll murder you. She will murder you and then disown you post humus.”
Sam started laughing. “Yeah, she will.”
“Sam, I love you. I’m yours, no matter what,” you said.
“I know,” he replied with a sigh. “I know we’re doing the right thing now. I mean - Tony can get all on his high horse about how important the accords were, but he still broke them immediately. That fucking kid he brought to the fight is still breaking the accords and living his best life. I just… I wish we could have both.”
“So do I,” you said. “I hope they come around, but I’m scared that the thing that makes them realize how wrong they are is gonna be real bad. Like; world-ending bad.”
“Yeah, me too,” Sam said. “Which is why I’m doing this.”
“So, what do you want to do? You asked.
“I guess… we can wait,” Sam relented. “But maybe we can see if there’s any way we could do something small that we could sneak Sarah to? Like … she goes to the Maldives and who just happens to be there getting married?”
“They’ll be watching her,” you said.
“Yeah, I know,” he said. “But we can look into it.”
“Yeah, okay,” you agreed. “We’ll look into it.”
Sam leaned in and kissed you deeply. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him down on top of you, so the full weight of his body pressed down on the cold metal floor of the jet.
Sam groaned softly and rolled his hips, his cock starting to harden against your thigh. “Where’s Steve?” you mumbled against his lips as he continued to kiss you. He was currently the only unknown factor as Wanda was on another of her ‘retreats’ and Natasha was dealing with some ‘personal things’ that she wouldn’t tell the rest of you about. He pulled back and smirked down at you. “Why? You want him to watch?”
“No,” you giggled, smacking his arm. “I want the opposite of that.”
Sam laughed and nuzzled at your neck, pushing his hands up under your sleep shirt. “On his morning run. Just you and me, baby.”
You kissed him again - more frantic this time, and your hands dug into his shoulders. Sam began to squeeze and massage your breast as he ground down against you, sending a warm buzz through your body. He began to move down your body, taking his time to both undress you and kiss every part of you. By the time he was crouched between your spread legs, your whole body prickled like a live wire.
He gripped your thigh with one hand and reached up and began massaging your breast with the other as he dipped his head down and began lapping at your cunt. You moaned and arched your back, gripping his bicep with one hand as you reached over your head with the other. A hot current ran through you as Sam focused on your clit, sucking and nipping at it as he squeezed your breast. He moaned into your cunt, the sound sending vibrations through you. You slowly fell apart under him, writhing as a coil of hot pleasure wound itself tightly in your core. Sam thrust two of his fingers inside you, and as soon as they hit that sweet spot inside you you cried out loudly and came hard, your whole body shuddering as your orgasm crashed through you.
Sam sat up onto his knees and looked at you. “Gonna have to be a little quieter,” he said tapping your thigh. “Steve’s got pretty good hearing you know.”
You scrunched up your face. “Maybe you need to gag me.”
Sam chuckled and bit his bottom lip as you got on our hands and knees. Even on the bedroll, your knees were going to hate you after this, but right now you didn’t care at all. Sam moved up behind you, held onto your hips, and thrust hard into you. You stumbled forward a little but managed to catch yourself on the cargo trunk in front of you. He began to fuck you hard immediately, not even waiting to steady yourself. You cried out and clenched around him as it felt like a hot shard tore through you.
Sam leaned over you, kissing your neck and shoulder, as he put his hand over your mouth. “Hush now,” he growled in your ear. “You don’t want to wake up the whole forest.”
You moaned into his hand and opened your mouth, letting him push two of his fingers inside for you to suck on. He railed into you, his hips moving quickly and erratically as your bodies slapped together. You tried to bounce back on him, adding to the pleasure coursing through you, but it wasn’t long until your arms gave out and you were helpless under him as your orgasm built.
As his hips began to stutter, Sam wrapped his arm around your waist and began to rub your clit. It was all it took for the dam inside you to burst. You buried your face in your arm and cried out as you came, clenching around Sam’s cock. He began to thrust even more erratically as he chased his own release and with a jerk and a low groan he came, releasing inside you.
You let yourself flop completely on the floor, breathing heavily and feeling a little high on endorphins. “You think Steve is out there and heard us?” You asked as Sam lay back down next to you and kissed your shoulder.
“Caught the tail end of the show!” Steve yelled, his voice muffled through the jet walls.
You and Sam both broke down into peels of laughter and you hid your face in Sam’s chest.
“Get a move on, would you?!” Steve yelled. “We have a lot to do today.”
You laughed even harder and Sam held you close, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Come on, duty calls,” he chuckled.
You let him help you up and the two of you both started cleaning yourselves up the best way you could. You hoped to god that Steve would say it was time for a break soon, but in the meantime, you were glad you were here with Sam.
// NEXT
#sam wilson#carol danvers#sam wilson x reader#carol danvers x reader#falcon#captain marvel#falcon fanfic#captain marvel fanfic#fanfic#fanfiction#reader insert#smut#moving on
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A Modern AU
or
Namaari is randomly assigned a night shift in the ER where she meets a patient named Raya, who appears to be suffering from broken ribs. However, the shift takes a turn when Raya flatlines, and Namaari pushes herself to save the girl whose smile is engraved in her head.
Word Count: 2199
Warning’s: Major character injury, and a temporary death
--
Raya and Sisu are being walked into a patient room by an ER nurse called Atitaya.
Sisu loudly states, “Stupid! All these injuries were caused by stupidness!”
Raya glared at her as she held her sternum; she felt a lot of tenderness and trouble breathing. She couldn’t see, but she was sure that her rib cage would be bruised if she lifted her shirt. It’s just a few broken ribs, she thought before answering, “Tong was looking at me funny!”
“He smiled at you…because you tripped,” Sisu replied, rubbing her face with her hands as they entered the patient room.
Once entering the room, Raya quickly jumps onto the patient’s bed, resulting in her groaning in pain. “The details on how the fight broke out don’t matter. I WON: I broke one of his front teeth, his nose, and made it nearly impossible for him to have children again”. She answered as she licked the inside of her left cheek, tasting iron. She must have bitten the inside of her lip when she received a punch to her face.
Both Raya and Sisu noticed the nurse was now nervous. Then again: Who could blame her after what she just heard. But no matter how scared Atitaya was internally, she still placed a pulse oximeter on Raya’s left index finger and a blood pressure cuff on her right arm. Before taking an oral temperature.
“Remember, I work here, Raya! Please don’t scare my coworkers,” Sisu pledges as she looks at Atitaya smiling before sitting down. “Tong should also be a patient of yours tonight. I know this sounds crazy, but we’re all great friends.”
Suddenly Tong’s voice is echoing through the ER hallways. “ARE YOU OKAY, RAYA” Atitaya jumps as she finishes taking Raya’s temperature.
“I’M ALRIGHT! SORRY TONG, I HOPE YOUR MANLY HOOD WASN’T LOST,” Raya screams back, smiling, as his laughter is filling the hallway once again. She turns to look at Sisu, who is practically crying in the chair from embarrassment.
“Ms. Hart. I’m going to have to ask you to not scream,” The nurse says in a calm voice, trying not to smile.
Raya begins to nod in agreement before she starts clenching at her chest before gasping for air. The pain is excruciating. Yet, she is still hopeful it’s just broken ribs, and they haven’t punctured her lung; because that would hurt way more...right?
Atitaya was about to excuse herself from the room to locate Namaari, the nurse practitioner who can order an X-ray and medicine. Yet as she unbadged herself from the computer, she hears three knocks on the door. A tale sign that Namaari was about to enter the room. The three knocks are a secret signal she uses with all her nurses to know of her presence.
“Hello. My name is Namaari; I’m the nurse practitioner this night shift. I heard the screaming and your very muffled voice. Could I take a look at your injury?”
Raya’s head jerks in the direction of the knocks spotting the new nurse, Namaari. She smiles widely. The new nurse is wearing a white coat over grey scrubs. Her scrubs were tightly fitted, showing that under, she had a muscular figure. Her skin was golden brown, with piercing brown eyes. She also had a very attractive undercut screaming, ‘Sapphic.’
Raya also notices a tattoo cuff on her left ear, probably because it’s a safety hazard to wear jewelry in hospitals: They can easily be pulled by angry or upset patients--She lightly bites on her bottom lip before answering, “Are you sure my voice was muffled? Maybe you were just attracted to my voice and needed a reason to come in here,” She felt pretty winded after that finishing her sentence, but she was still able to lift her left eyebrow.
And yes, Raya was dam aware she shouldn’t be hitting on the hospital staff, but come one. She’s hot.
“RAYA” Sisu screamed from the corner of the room.
Namaari stood at the door frame with a gentle smile on her lips.
Raya assumed the flirting attempt went over Namaari’s head. She couldn’t bear to think the gorgeous nurse was choosing to ignore her. “I would have gotten myself injured sooner if I knew this godly woman would show up to rescue me,” Raya struggles to say as she winks.
Seconds later, Raya’s body was overwashed with a painful sting “ah fuck” she states as she curls into herself, gripping at her right ribcage.
Namaari was used to patients flirting with her; It comes with the job. However, It’s usually easy for her to ignore flirtations. Yet Namaari wasn’t blind; this patient was gorgeous even in her physical state.
Raya was beaten, a purple bruise appearing on her left cheek, her clothes dirty from the struggle of her disagreement.
Namaari cannot deny how Raya’s smile made her feel some weird sensation in the pit of her stomach: People call that feeling butterflies.
This patient was trouble, but that somehow excited Namaari.
Suddenly Namaari remembered the other voice in the room and turned to see Sisu, jumping from her seat running over to Raya. She didn’t necessarily consider Sisu, a friend. Still, she often saw her in the ER because she is part of the psychiatry department. Sisu would often come and evaluate patients for hospitalization. “Quite ironic, how a trauma nurse is in the ER for a trauma injury,” Sisu hummed as she ran her hands through Raya’s hair.
Namaari forced herself out of her thoughts and walked over to Raya. Looking up at the vital machine monitor. Her pulse was high, resting in the 110s, and her blood pressure was also abnormal. “Call for an X-ray and tell them I okayed it.” She finally says, looking straight at Antitya, who nods and exits the room.
Namaari walks over to the computer in the room, quickly badging in and ordering her some narcotics to give Raya once the broken or fractured ribs are conformed by the X-ray.
Sisu is just smiling at Namaari from afar as she consoles Raya, who is cussing in pain with each of her breathe’s.
“Can you please lay back on the bed so I can look at your injury” Raya hears the attractive nurse say. She hums as Sisu lets go of her stepping back, her place now replaced by Namaari smiling gently at her. Raya tried to shift her position to lay herself on the bed, but it hurt so much to do it.
Raya felt as she was being punched in the lungs if she moved even an ounce. To distract herself from her pain, she watched as Namaari, who looked over at the vital machine, and for a moment, panic showed on her face. Nevertheless, Namaari’s eyes meet hers again as she smiled, trying to comfort her, which she did.
However, seconds later, Raya felt her brain becoming fuzzy with the pain radiating all over her body, her breathing very labored as she gasped for air. Raya knew she was about to pass out, but she never felt safer. She knew she was in Namaari’s hands, and something deep down within her knew she would be okay.
Namaari watched as Raya’s pulse shot up to 140, while her Oxygen dropped to 87. This wasn’t just a case of broken ribs anymore.
Namaari quickly walked towards the wall and pulled on a red switch, the rapid code. Its unique alarm went off, and she knew that the call light was flashing red outside. Both these tools allow for the other medical staff to be informed the patient in that room is deteriorating, and further assistance is needed.
Raya’s vision was becoming blurred with speckles of black as she was consumed by her agony. All she wanted to do was scream or even cry, but the pain was so immense that her body forced her to stay silent. Raya felt like a prisoner in her body, unable to communicate what she was experiencing.
Soon enough, Raya was overwashed with a need to close her eyes; it’s like her body was promising her that if she went to sleep, the pain would stop. She wanted to give in to this promise, but she fought it for now.
Raya couldn’t move, but she felt as the nurse slowly guided her down onto the bed as Sisu cried in the background. The rapid alarm echoed throughout the room, and she couldn’t help but laugh in her mind as this time it was pulled for her. Most times, Raya was running the rapid codes saving people’s lives, yet right now, her life rested in that beautiful nurse’s hands.
Those were Raya’s last thoughts as her mind went blank, properly passing out.
Once Namaari guided Raya to lay on her back, she quickly placed an oxygen mask on her as the room was suddenly swimming with more staff members. Everyone trying to help in some way, taking blood pressures, starting an IV, calling for a portable X-ray machine, and calling for an OR in case of emergency surgery: as it seemed, Raya did have a punctured lung caused by her broken ribs.
Suddenly Atitaya was next to Namaari. “I told Sisu to wait in the waiting room; she didn’t want to go, but I showed her out” OHH, yea Raya’s girlfriend, Maari thought.
Apparently, Sisu was screaming in the background, which she completely blocked from her head. Namaari’s excuse being that she was trying to save Raya’s life. “I should have known she was high on adrenaline, and It was muting her pain symptoms--” Atitaya whispered to Namaari.
Namaari knew her nurse was blaming herself for something she didn’t think about either. She let the girl’s beautiful coffee eyes distract her. And now she’s watching her vitals plummet.
Suddenly a women’s voice screamed, “She decompensating. She’s about to flatline someone start compressions NOW.” Namaari didn’t look up to check who ordered that; she assumed the order was from a resident. Namaari quickly crouched and pressed on the CPR lever under the bed that laid the bed completely flat. She quickly placed her left hand over her right interlocking her fingers after standing up before placing her hands on Raya’s sternum. She began compressions, two inches deep each time. Simultaneously, Atitaya was bagging Raya so she could breathe for her.
After the first round of 30 compressions; The resident speaks again, “Turn her onto her side Namaari” Namaari did as she was told, recognizing the voice to belong to Amba. Anyways, another staff member slipped a flat board under Raya’s back. Once it was in place, Namaari quickly laid her back down and continued compressions. Soon a tiny monitor was placed below Namaari’s hands, which actually told her if her compressions were deep enough.
After about 3 minutes of constant compressions, Namaari’s compressions weren’t deep enough. “Switch,” She states as Atitaya takes over compressions and Namaari begins to bag Raya.
Only once Namaari stopped compressions did she notice the room was full of various staff members; the rapid code was now a code blue, a whole different sound echoing through the room.
It’s crazy, but you don’t hear these changes during an emergency. You only listen to what’s essential to saving the patient’s life.
As Atitaya performed more compressions, the sound of one of Raya’s ribs breaking under her force was heard. Atitaya flinched, realizing she caused her recovery to be longer if she survives. But that sometimes happens; you hurt the person you’re trying to save. Most people don’t mind a broken rib if it means you saved their life.
Namaari was snapped back into the present when she heard “charge to 100” before “CLEAR.” That’s all it took. Raya’s pulse came back. Namaari felt so relieved: She’s always happy to save someone’s life, but today, right now, she’s overjoyed.
Nevertheless, Namaari doesn’t understand how two sentences from this patient had her heart throbbing within her chest.
She doesn’t know how or why the relief she’s currently experiencing is so overpowering.
With all these inner thoughts, Namaari still smiles as now she has the chance to get to know Raya. UGHHH, no, you cannot get to know her! She’s dating Sisu...
Stop overthinking Namaari. SNAP OUT OF IT!
“Thank’s, Namaari. We’ll take it from here,” Amba, the surgical resident, says; As a portable x-ray machine is brought into the room to scan Raya.
Once a resident or doctor from a different unit takes over, Raya is no longer her patient, and she needs to let her go and help another patient. Even so, she left the room and waited outside it to listen in. “She’s punctured her left lung; we need to rush her into emergency surgery, page Pengu. He’s the best cardiothoracic surgeon!”
Namaari exhaled as she watched nurses and doctors from the surgical unit transport, Raya, off the emergency unit to the operating room.
Namaari had gotten Raya’s heart to pump again, but the surgery will decide whether she lives or dies. Knowing this, she rested her head on the wall regaining her posture, putting a smile on her face as she heard her name being called from another patient’s room.
--
Let me know if you want me to continue it! :)
#namaari#disney raya#Disney Namaari#raya x namaari#Namaari x Raya#rayaari#raya namaari#RatLD Raya#raya and the last dragon#ratld#ratld namaari#ratld incorrect quotes#raya of heart#namaari of fang#rayamaari#sisu
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EVER SINCE NEW YORK | MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER
Description: I was messaged saying: “If you don’t write a young Matthew enemies to lovers fic featuring an obsession with sucking on boobs then what’s the point 😔.” So, here it is, folks! The ultimate College!Matthew fic.
PART 1! - for Sara [@bravadostyles], the ultimate muse.
SOUNDTRACK:
Empire State of Mind - Jay Z.
Animals - Maroon 5.
Dopamine - Børns.
Word Count: 4,731.
Rating: M.
Warning/Includes: Sexual intercourse, recreational drug use, a bit of angst.
Spring, Freshman Year.
Tisch School of the Arts,
New York University.
New York City.
“You’ve got that face on,” Claire said.
“What face is that, Claire?”
“Your trademark ready-to-go-home face,” she giggled. “You tired?”
“Just a little,” you whispered, head resting on her shoulder, feet hanging off the bed. “Had a long day at rehearsal.”
“Ah,” she nodded. “Well, if you wanna go, we can go. I’ll walk you home.”
“No,” you shook your head, and placed your hand on her arm. “It’s fine. I’m having a good time.”
Soft music played through the small speakers on Jonathan’s desk, mixing in with the chatter of your friends. Everyone sat in different spaces around the room, some on the desk, some on John’s bed, and you and Claire rested on his roommate’s bed. Open solo cups of beer were scattered amongst the room. It was calm, chill, and then the door swung open.
“Yoooooo!” The entering voice rang, instantly earning a happy response from Johnathan, who hopped off his bed and ran towards the entrance.
“Gube!” John exclaimed, arms open wide to embrace his friend. He always got a little touchy-feely when he was tipsy. “Where the hell you been, man?”
“Consider my good time ruined,” you murmured to Claire.
“Be nice, [y/n],” she responded, patting your leg. “Everyone’s having a nice time, don’t start anything.”
“Me? Me? I don’t start anything, I never start anything. It’s him who starts it. That di—“
“Hey, [y/n],” Matthew greeted, taking a seat beside John. “Hey, Claire.”
“Hey, Gube,” Claire smiled. She gave you a gentle nudge with her elbow.
You rolled your eyes, “Hi, Matthew,” you reluctantly replied, refusing to make eye contact.
“Aw, c’mon, that’s all I get?” Matthew teased. “What’s wrong, sleeping beauty? You tired?”
“Oh, you have no idea,” you told him, finally looking over at him. He wore a white polo, paired with a busted pair of jeans and white converse with his mismatched socks poking out. On his chest sat his trademark gold chain, the medallion set in the center of his sternum.
“Might be past your bedtime,” he shrugged. “Really. Might be better if you just left.”
“Me?” You scoffed. “Why don’t you leave? We were perfectly fine before you got here.”
“Oh, God,” someone groaned. “Here they go.”
“John wants me here. I’m a little more fun than someone who falls asleep mid-conversation, so I can see why.”
“Matthew, why are you talking to me? Can you just pretend,” you waved your arms around. “Pretend there’s a wall here.”
“Don’t mind her,” Claire interjected. “She’s crabby because she hasn’t started editing her project yet.”
You gasped, “Why would you just announce that, Claire? I didn’t wanna be reminded of that.”
“[y/n], you’re gonna be fucked if you don’t get that shit done. It’s due next week.” Another friend told you.
You groaned, “Yes. I know that. But I’ve been killing myself practicing for the show every night. And when I finally sat down to start editing, I didn’t know how to work the damn software!”
“You don’t know how to work EasyEdit?”
“No,” you sighed. “I missed class that day. I tried to learn on YouTube, and that confused me even more. So, I have since then given up.”
“Hm,” John hummed. “You know who’s really good with EasyEdit?”
“Who?”
“Gube,” John answered. This prompted Matthew to lift his head up at astronomical speed, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “He taught me how to use it. He could help you, [y/n].”
“John...” Claire said.
“What, Claire?” John replied. “[y/n] needs help and Gube can help. I’m just saying.”
You cut your eyes over to Matthew, who was watching you, but he quickly turned away when you made eye contact.
“You’re not clever,” Claire shook her head. “You’re nosey is what you are.”
“Nosey?” You pipped, tapping Claire’s arm. “What do you mean nosey?”
“I mean, if you and Gube just...” John said. “I’m gonna say it - fucked - one good time, the two of you could get over this whole rivalry already.”
“And stop arguing all the damn time,” someone added. “The shit’s annoying.”
Your jaw had been dropped since the word ‘fucked’ was uttered. You looked up at Claire who gave you a sympathetic smile.
“I-“ You stuttered. “I...never say that again, John! Ever. Ew!”
“Ew?” Matthew exclaimed. “You’d be lucky if I tossed you a bone.”
Your jaw dropped even lower, stunned by Matthew’s words. “You arrogant son of a bitch,” you muttered. “And this is who you want me to allow near my final project?” You directed at John.
“Hey, if you don’t wanna fuck me, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” Matthew taunted, biting his lip and tilting his head.
“No. I don’t wanna fuck you! I also don’t want to spend any more time with you than I absolutely have to. So I will learn EasyEdit by myself.”
“Okay,” Matthew shrugged. “You’re not gonna figure that shit out in time, but fine, princess. Be stubborn.”
You rolled your eyes at him, shaking your head in annoyance.
“[y/n], let Gube help,” Claire said. “You’re gonna drive yourself insane with that and the show coming up, plus finals? Just this once.”
You looked over at Matthew, instantly getting angry again. Hate is a strong word. It’s a very, very strong word. And you’d never use it against anybody. Ever. Except Matthew Gubler. That may sound a bit dramatic, so to clear up any confusion, here’s a composite list of every asshole, dick, bastard, bitch-ass move he’s made in one semester:
1. Broke your editing equipment trying to do magic tricks in class.
2. Didn’t apologize.
3. Called your last documentary “uninspired, dry, a little like a lullaby.”
4. Took the last spot for an internship over Christmas break.
5. Which he knew you wanted.
6. Refused to partner with you on a final project because “you can’t even get to class everyday.”
7. In front of everyone because he’s a jackass.
8. Told you that you were insane for majoring in film making AND ballet.
9. Proceeded to tell you that you look better in a leotard than a suit.
10. Fucked your roommate.
11. While you were in the room.
12. Insisted that Wes Craven is a better horror director than Tim Burton? Is he dumb?
13. Calls you ballerina barbie, short stack, princess, anything other than your actual name.
14. Won’t drop dead.
And, because you’re not going to let anyone treat you that way, here’s a list of things you’ve done in retaliation:
1. “Accidentally” stepped on his canvas.
2. 3 times.
3. Uploaded a video of you calling him a dick in place of his documentary.
4. Yes, he did play it for the class on accident.
5. Told him you didn’t want to be his partner anyway since he walks around stoned 24/7.
6. Laughed.
7. Told him he’d be a good ballerina. His tiny dick would fit perfectly in a leotard.
8. Fucked his friend. While said friend was supposed to help Matthew with his project.
9. Told him none of Edgar Allan Poe’s work was actually interesting enough for screen time. (He almost passed out, he got so mad.)
10. Told him his mismatch socks were dumb.
11. Consistently call him asshole, dick, jackass, or just Matthew. All synonyms.
12. Refuse to let him mess with you.
So, the idea of him helping you with your project, coming into your room, bothering you for hours on end, was a ridiculous thought. You should punch John for even mentioning it. Except. It wasn’t a bad idea.
“Hey, pants stay on,” Matthew said, giving you a smirk. “Boy Scouts honor.”
Everyone was looking at you. It made you queasy. Annoyed. Angry. And you couldn’t take it. So, you sighed heavily and cut your eyes towards Matthew. “Fine,” you grimaced. “Fine. Monday night. You will teach me how to use EasyEdit. And then we can all drop this.”
“Ah, success,” John cheered. “I’m not worried, though. Look at [y/n], she’s so innocent. She looks like she belongs on top of a Christmas tree. She does ballet for crying out loud. I doubt fucking is on her to-do list.”
“And on that note,” you pushed yourself off the bed. “I’m going to my room. Goodnight.”
Your room was just down the hall, and you showered, changed, brushed your teeth and got into bed in all of 30 minutes. Just about to fall asleep, you were disturbed by the sound of keys jingling in the door. Sloppy footsteps stumbled into the room, accompanied by silly giggles.
Thinking you were asleep, your roommate admired your sleeping frame, “Awwww,” she cooed. “Precious, precious, [y/n].” She walked over to you and rubbed your shoulder.
“You’re crazy to not wanna fuck Matthew,” she whispered, chuckling. “You don’t know what you’re missing, kid.”
And you stayed still, silent, pretended to snore. All while Claire crawled into her bed.
When Monday rolled around, you spent the entire day with a chip on your shoulder. Claire kissed the top of your head and insisted you’d be fine, that your project would be done by the end of the night and you’d be grateful for Matthew’s help. But she knew that was a dead cause in her heart of hearts. You both knew it’d be a miracle if Matthew and you made it through 15 minutes of editing.
When she left to go to a friend’s place, you changed into pajama pants, combined with a cozy cropped button sweater. You sat at your desk, and waited. You’d told Matthew to arrive at 7.
He got there at 7:59.
By then, you were laying in bed, pissed and upset that you’d actually been convinced to give Matthew a chance. He knocked on the door, and you answered with an attitude. “Go home, Matthew.”
“Don’t be like that, short stack,” he sighed, following you as you stomped into the room. “I got caught up. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah? What’d you get caught up with? A gram?” You spit.
He laughed, “Haha, so funny. No, I was not getting high. I was working on my own project. That I finished. Ahead of time. Can you relate, [y/n]?”
“Get out of my room,” you scoffed. “I asked you for one thing. One. And you couldn't even do that. You knew how important this project was to me, and you didn’t give a fuck. I wasted time waiting for you that I could’ve been working or rehearsing! I—Are you listening?”
Matthew’s eyes had been concentrated solely on your chest, “Are you wearing a bra?” He asked.
You took a step back, stunned, blinking rapidly as you searched around the room. “I’m sorry,” you said. “I’m just trying to find where the hell that came from?”
“It came from that itty bitty shirt you’re wearing,” he replied with a shrug. “Doesn’t really leave much to the imagination.”
“Stop staring at my tits!” You shouted, face turning red. “God, Matthew, I can’t stand to look at you right now. Just, leave. Please.”
He did not stop staring at your tits. Not for a very long time. But when he did, he had this look in his eyes. Like a wire had snapped. And he kissed you. Cupped your face in his hands, pulled you close, and kissed you. You pressed your hands against his chest, face contorting in shock and confusion.
You pushed him away, lips retracting with a sharp smacking noise. Saliva dripped from your lips, and you stood there, huffing and puffing like the two of you had just run a mile. “What the hell was that?” You snapped, your fingertips lightly touching your bottom lip.
He didn’t reply. He was just as speechless as you were. Speechless, and confused, and out of breath, and so, so pretty. He was so pretty. Has he always been that pretty?
You grabbed onto the hem of his shirt and pulled him back in, pressing your lips together in an aggressive collision. Matthew’s hand gripped onto your hair, his body pushing itself against yours in an eager attempt to get as close to you as possible. His other hand made its way to your waist, gripping onto your skin so hard, his nails left marks. Both his hands began to snake down your body, landing on the back of your thighs.
Very suddenly, Matthew scooped you up in his arms, yanking your feet off of the ground. You let out a breathy ‘oof’ as you found yourself perched in his grasp, your legs wrapped around his torso, your hands on his shoulders. He supported your weight so easily, all while sliding his tongue into your mouth.
He carried you over to your bed, where he abruptly dropped you onto the mattress, and looked down at you with a lustful grin. Standing beside the bed, he leaned in as if he was going to kiss you — slowly, with his hands reaching out to touch your body — but he didn’t. Instead, he placed his hands on your ribs and pushed your sweater up, over your breasts to reveal your chest.
“I knew it,” he whispered. “I knew you weren’t wearing a bra.”
Your breath caught in your throat, before you released it shakily. His lips wrapped around your nipple, wetting it with his tongue and applying light suction. A soft moan left your mouth, and you gripped onto his hair in ecstasy. He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He sucked harder, to the point of pain, just to hear you make some noise. Any noise. When one nipple began to pulse between his lips, he moved to the other, leaving a trail of love bites between them.
The heat between your legs was suffocating, and you rubbed your thighs together for some relief. Matthew noticed this, and proceeded to stick his hands down your pants, fingers sliding underneath the band of your underwear. He smirked at how soaked you were already and rubbed your clit as he licked a trail up to your neck. You tightened your thighs around his hand, gasping at the friction and pulling at the bedsheets.
The sound caused Matthew to take in a sharp breath of air. His cock was pressed against the zipper of his jeans, and was getting to the point that it was excruciating. So, as he massaged your nerve, he undid his pants and pushed them down his legs.
He nibbled on your ear, and as you gave him a quiet moan, your eyes flickered down to look between your bodies. Flushed, and horny, and suddenly so desperate, you grabbed onto Matthew’s large erection and pressed the tip against your clit.
He grunted and pulled back to stare you in the eye, a sly grin creeping onto his face. He laughed, “I knew it. I fucking knew it. Innocent? Innocent, my ass.”
As you rolled your eyes at him, he kissed your lips softly, hands holding onto your thighs. You positioned his cock at your entranced and allowed him to press into you. He stood up straight, watching his cock disappear inside you, slowly, steadily, before he suddenly slammed into you. The sound of skin colliding on skin mixed in with your and Matthew’s moans, and he watched your head roll back in pleasure.
He licked his lips, smirking. And he did it again. And again. And again. Pulling out all the way and pushing back into you. Hard. The sensation struck your chest, and elicited vulnerable moans from you every time he pounded you. Matthew instantly began to speed his hips up, nails digging into your thighs as he pressed your legs open for him. His used all his strength to fuck you, your head knocking into the wall with every thrust. It was sloppy and messy and you couldn’t stop whimpering. Your eyes were screwed shut, and when you opened them again, the first thing you noticed with his chain. The gold medallion dangled in your face, Matthew’s lips pressed against your cheek.
Absentmindedly, you tangled your fingers in the chain, tugging on it as your volume increased. “Fuck,” you muttered. “Oh, fuck.”
He brought his hand up to your face, placing his thumb on your bottom lip. “Open your mouth,” he ordered, quietly, softly. And you did it without thinking. His thumb slid into your mouth, twirling around your tongue and stifling your moans.
He removed his hand and placed his thumb on your clit, wetting the skin with your own saliva. You let out a loud yelp at the new sensation, and a bubble instantly formed in your stomach.
Oh, no, not Matthew, you thought. Don’t let it be Matthew.
But with his cock and his hips and the way he kissed your neck and rubbed your sensitive nerve all at once. You came, you came with a fit of pornographic moans, trembling and writhing around on the bed.
And it was Matthew — the first guy to make you come. Ever.
He licked his lips as he watched you come undone beneath him, proud of himself — to the point of cockiness. Giving you a few more forceful pumps, he pulled out of you and released himself onto your chest, watching the fluid cover the hickies he’d left there.
He looked angelic on top of you, moaning, panting, swearing under his breath. But the moment he finished, he stepped back, fastened his pants and walked away. You propped yourself up on your elbows, watching him in a daze.
Matthew logged onto your computer, pressed a few buttons and then closed the laptop shut. Then he left.
However, the next day he sent you an email. Your project. Fully and perfectly edited.
Okay. So, that happened. They said it would happen and it happened. Didn’t necessarily make you hate Matthew any less, but it happened. It was good. You hated to admit it. And it was all you could think about. You couldn’t even touch yourself or hold your pillow without thinking of Matthew. It was bad.
Especially, given the fact that after the whole situation, he decided not to talk to you. At all. Not in class, not while hanging out with friends, not even to pick a fight. Complete and utter radio silence. He looked at you enough though. Not while you were looking at him, of course. So, as far as you knew, you were far off of his mind. But life had to go on. You had to focus on school, and on top of that, you were due to perform in NYU’s production of Swan Lake in less than two weeks.
You landed the main role of Odette, meaning for the next two weeks, you had to eat, sleep, breathe ballet. You practiced for hours on end, barely saw your friends, which gave you a good break from seeing Matthew.
Opening night rolled around and you were so nervous, you thought you might puke. Only a freshman, it was a miracle you landed the role in the first place, which meant your performance tonight was a make or break moment. Claire could tell you were sick to your stomach and tried to distract you by taking a bunch of pictures on her phone.
“Smile, pretty girl!” She beamed, the flashing going off in your face as you posed. “[y/n], you’re gonna kill it! I’m so excited! Aren’t you excited?”
“Yeah...” you whispered. “Deathly excited.”
“Aw, poor baby,” she swung her arm around your shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’m gonna be front and center, cheering you on. Just focus on me, okay?”
You smiled and nodded, taking in a deep breath. “Okay.”
Your body was on autopilot out on stage. The movements you’d practiced everyday, for hours and hours on end, just flowed. The lighting in the audience was dark, but you could just barely make out Claire’s figure under the soft hue.
It wasn’t until the finale, when you stood ready for your closing performance, that the lights switched to their full intensity and you noticed a hand resting on Claire’s shoulder. An arm resting behind her head. Someone whispering in her ear, making her laugh.
Matthew.
He was here. He was here and he was with Claire. He was with Claire and he was watching you. And it made your stomach feel weird. But then the music kicked up. So, you had to go. You fell into your dance, your rhythm and for some reason, you could not stop staring at Matthew.
Every twirl, you made him your focal point. Looking at him again, and again, and again. Until the lights went out.
Supporting ballerinas cheered you on as you walked offstage, throwing flowers at your feet and giving you applause. Your instructor marched right up to you, kissed both sides of your face and embraced you. It was a wonderful feeling, but right then, you were drained, emotionally, mentally, physically, you needed some rest.
You locked yourself away in your dressing room, taking a seat in the mirror and beginning to remove your tights. Pressing a makeup wipe to your skin, you jumped, startled by a knock on the door. You rose from your seat and walked to the entrance casually, expecting Claire to greet you.
But you froze, as soon as you opened the door. Eyes glazing over the person in front you, your breath caught in your throat. “Matthew.”
“Hey,” he smiled. He looked you up and down — your naked legs, your breasts poking through the thin material of the leotard. “You...you were amazing tonight.”
“Thank you,” you whispered. “Bye.”
You attempted to close the door on him, but his put his elbow against the frame, stopping it in motion. “Whoa,” he exclaimed, pushing his way into the room. “What the hell is your problem?” He closed the door behind him.
“My problem is that I’m very tired, and still need to change, and greet everyone waiting for me. So, I don’t have time for this.”
“Time for what?” He crossed his arms over his chest.
You ducked your head down, “Nothing. Nothing. You need to leave.”
“Hey, hey, hey, ballerina barbie,” he mocked. “What’s your deal?”
“I don’t have a deal! I have nothing to say to you Matthew. Same way you have nothing to say to me.” You scrunched up your face in a frown.
“I...” he paused, laughing under his breath. “I never said I didn’t have something to tell you. In fact, I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”
You looked up at him — the gel in his hair, his black button down shirt flowing over his belt buckle, his dark eyes, his lips and the way they were pouting just a little. And like a magnet, you found yourself being pulled towards him. You jumped into his arms, hands on his face, and connecting your lips, mouths open, tongues touching.
Matthew held you up, moaning against your lips. “Mm,” you hummed. “Wait, what if someone comes in?”
Matthew thought quickly, hiking you up in his arms and shoving your back against the door. “Well, now they can’t get in, can they?” He mumbled, leaving kisses along your neck.
Your jaw dropped and you started to undo his belt, freeing his cock from his pants. He grunted against your skin as you stroked him, your head leaned back against the door, your chest heaving. You used your other hand to pull your leotard to the side, revealing your throbbing core.
Matthew smirked, letting you guide his dick to your entrance, and pushed his way into you swiftly. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his shoulders, burying your face in his neck to keep yourself quiet. His thrusts were quick, rough, messy. He was much more vocal this time, making no effort to stay silent.
“Fuck,” he moaned in your ear. “F-fuck, I forgot how good your pussy is. Fuck.”
The feeling was mutual. For the past month, you’d be wondering what the hell about Matthew had you so stuck. So fixated on him. And this was it. He filled you up perfectly, could manhandle you however he wanted, and always, always made sure you came.
He fucked you harder when he noticed your orgasm nearing — your quickened breaths, frequent moans and whines, and your legs tightening against his torso. “Oh, my God,” you whimpered.
“Shit, are you gonna come?” He asked. “Good.”
Breathless, speechless, you stared into his eyes helplessly as your body began to crumble. All power left your body and you held onto his shirt for dear life. He gave you a small smile, and flipped his hair out of his face, looking down at his cock. He could pinpoint the exact stroke that did it. The one that sent you into a state of euphoria, sent your eyes rolling back, your body into intense shock.
You let out a long and weakened sigh as the wave washed over you, and Matthew continued to plow into you like nothing was happening.
“It’s so cool how your pussy tightens up when you come,” he chuckled. “It’s hot.”
You rolled your eyes at the sound of his voice, clawing at the back of his neck. His breathing became ragged and hoarse, and he had to pull out of you before he came. He jerked himself off until he exploded onto your clothing. And with you being dressed in all black, his stains stood out perfectly on your costume.
This time, he gave you a kiss on the cheek before he left.
The week after that was finals week. And neither of you could be bothered to reach out. Despite the not-so-subtle confession of bitterness and the very intense orgasms you shared, you and Matthew simply went back to not talking. Your friends thought it was strange, even commented that they missed the bickering. The two of you shrugged in response.
Most of your dorm room was in boxes by the time you finished your last final exam. Claire was slower to pack up than you were, considering she only lived an hour away, but she applauded you for your determination. The day Claire did start packing was the day before you left for the summer. The two of you spent the day getting everything cleared out, cleaned, squared away.
While the two of you sat on your bed, watching Netflix, a knock sounded from your door. Claire hopped up and headed towards the entrance, opening it with a grand smile. “Gube!” She shouted, instantly opening her arms for a hug. Matthew wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up, carrying her into the room with a smile.
“Are you about to leave?” She asked him, holding onto his arms as he placed her feet back on the ground.
“Yeah, my mom’s here. So, I wanted to stop by and say goodbye,” he nodded.
“Aw, Gube, you softie,” she giggled. “[y/n], come say bye.”
“I can say bye from right here, Claire,” you replied. She gave you a look, and you felt compelled to get off the bed. So you did, you approached them, “Bye, Matthew.”
“Bye, shortcake,” he laughed. “Bye, Claire.” He pulled your roommate into another hug, while you stood there, crossing your arms in annoyance.
Matthew peeked at you over Claire’s shoulder. One hand rubbed her back and the other reached out to you, holding a small note.
Your eyes went wide as you looked at him, then the note, then Claire. You ripped the paper from his hand, and stuffed it into your pocket right away. He smirked at you, and turned his attention back to Claire.
“Hey,” he said to her. “Come back to my place, I want everyone there to show my mom I actually have friends.”
Claire chuckled and nodded, “Okay,” she shrugged. “Let’s go. [y/n], you coming?”
“Uh, no,” you shook your head. “I’m gonna keep packing, but I’ll text you later.”
“Okay,” Claire smiled, and she let Matthew whisk her away.
You sighed, and as soon as the door closed, you pulled the crumpled piece of paper from your pocket. You opened it up to reveal — not a meaningful message, not even a few words. Just one string of numbers, writing in his handwriting:
505.
[PART 2.]
#mine#matthew gray gubler#matthew gray gubler imagine#matthew gray gubler fanfiction#matthew gray gubler fic#matthew gray gubler x reader#matthew gray gubler/reader#matthew gray gubler smut#college!matthew#esny
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