#she cannot live like that forever

[spotsupstuff]

If five pebbles was ever built for zephyr the same way he was built for moon, would he ever see her as a mentor?

i imagine that he'd!!! be more open with her than he is with Moon, because their personalities match better. Zephyr isn't really the doting, overprotective kind. She didn't have the chance to learn how to be affectionate and warm even though she wishes she could be and she needs to watch her own systems like a hawk 24/7 so she ain't got the attention to spare to nag at him even if she wanted to. they'd end up bonding over their anger at the injustice of the Iterators' fate, though

Pebs would probably take someone else as Mentor™ (she wouldn't be capable of fullfilling the expectations of that role), but he'd probably still look up to her a lot. she'd be like. a not-the-title mentor in the specific field of being angry at their situation and doing Something about it

#Spot says stuff #rain world #rw #oc tag #oc: abet zephyr #this scenario is such a headscratcher cuz like- zephyr is kept a secret from the public out of shame of the higher ups of her condition #not as a Person mind you but as a waste of resources. girl cant even Iterate because shes so broken. she cant do the One thing shes made- #-to do. oh what a shame. what a stain on our maps. the ancients never put Any effort into fixing her so making an entire Iterator right- #-next to her whos secondary goal is to Help her? unimaginable in canon. shed hate it because she thinks of herself as a lost cause #and now this poor kid has to deal with being Made for this lost cause. no matter what he does he will never be able to help her enough #it will be forever an itch and a heartbreak that cannot be mended #born directly into constant trauma just like her. instead of fixing Her they brought another life into this. she hates it so so much. #but pebbles himself shed fucking Love. hes her little perfectly self-sufficient boy and shed fucking throw hands with Suns for him #srry for the rambling these two combo'd together live rent free in me brain

[crunchycrystals]

what if i just pretend like he gets something else to hold the branches together

#crunchyposts #mcu #loki spoilers #was it a good ending? was it a bad ending? did i like it? did i dislike it? i genuinely unironically cannot answer any of these questions #i just cannot handle tragedies and unhappy endings #so to me he steps out he goes to bind it together and sylvie stops him #so in my head she steps out after him and she finds a diff solution #<- i say sylvie does it to justify why he was so emotional over it #and also im in the sylki trenches still i do not care block me if you dont like it #but then hes not forever trapped there and im fine and hes fine and theyre fine and im fine and im not anxious at all like i get w tragedie #my other option is sylvie goes with him so they both live in their worst nightmares but together #but like. i dont want pain rn lol so im sticking with the happy one

[theriverbeyond]

Epilogue; p. 471

she hadn't come on purpose; the scrap of black-eyed meat had asked for it

-> Alecto didn't wake on purpose. she woke because Harrow wanted her to. because Harrow fell in love with Alecto when she was 10 years old

the chain of a kiss: the ice that burnt the flesh of the mouth that had stuck to the mouth that was frozen.

-> when she was 10, Harrow kissed the Body in the tomb, and it froze her lips stuck to Alecto's, and the ice burnt her mouth

The teardrop on the hand. The hand that John had fashioned.

-> Harrow, 10 years old, cried over Alecto's frozen body and the tears fell on Alecto's hand

#nona the ninth #ntn spoilers #trb.txt #tlt thoughts #the entire last maybe what. 20 pages of this book. like free fall #alecto #harrow #i can believe a real sleeping beauty moment #what if alecto would have slept forever if she had not been kissed by a child who had nothing else to live for #cannot tell you what this could mean. just that it feels deeply important

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

#glass animals #honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh???? #like….. when i say wore out #i cannot describe how much i listened to it #i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number #like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened) #i cannot recall w this #gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke #so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao #(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol) #anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night #driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in #sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who???? #had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused #it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song #then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky & #ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work #(i was right & it blew her miiind) #god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok #i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this #highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift #a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them #as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?) #a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever

[creme-boylee]

My queer platonic long distance bestie that is probably one of the most beautiful people alive just posted a outfit photo for the first time in a while and she was wearing pants that have gotten slightly too small which made me realize she's gotten just slightly chubby HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE UNDER THESE CONDITIONS

#am i gonna think about the tiny bit of skin between the waist of her pants snd her croptop forever? #probably #like i knew she had gained weight cause we talked about it but OUGHHH to be fair she was like unhealthily skinny before so #so most of what she gained made her just look like a living person again #but now!!! she has the slightest beginnings of tummy!!!! #and i cannot be normal about it at ALL

[lorephobic]

idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?

#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive. #like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love #and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me #she is. the most important person in my life #and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her #like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this #if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh #what more could i ever ask for #but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right #even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be #in just over a year #when she's making enough money for it #she plans on moving into a place of her own #which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point. #but i just. don't know what i'm going to do. #and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing #i thought we were going to move into a house together #i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke #but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year. #i would still want to be here. with her. #or somewhere else. with her. #like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me. #and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t #give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted. #and she's leaving. #she doesn't want to be with me. #sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do. #for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs #its what sufjan would have wanted #fucked up terrible no good week

[i-bring-crack]

The world has not done me any better, been rrading 2ha and all i can think about is Ashborn/Antares as Jinhae brainrot:

In their past life Antares had a deep obsession with Ruler Ashborn and the same could be said for the ladder but Ashborn didnt know how to express much of his love and ended up hurting him even more as a result.

Antares wouldnt care for a single moment whenever or not he was constly hurt by how much Ashborn seemed to care for others more than himself or him, whereas Ashborn didnt seem to notice that Antares was deeply in love and tried to see just how far that love truly ran since he wasnt sure that a dragon, much less a fragment of darkness could actually love.

Unfortunatly when he ended up noticing that he had fallen to the dragon's undying devotion, he decided to distance himself and push him aside because Ashborn was more so devoted to the Absolute Being and though that all his faith might shatter if the two actually were to become lovers, since– thats not how they were designed, they are to be rivals not lovers, thats what his god wanted— and so when the time came he fiercely fought with Antares and left him to almost bleed to death.

This is when Antares realized that he should have never tried to chase any kind of love and started to realize thag Ashborn had never loved him in the first place, so from that day on he swore to kill everyone and become the most powerful being in existence so that Ashborn can die at his hands.

And die he did, but only to pass his powers to his sucessor.

Even when he standed a top the world as the strongest being, his new incarnation had killed him, and he swore he would one day destroy him.

But alas he somehow ended up in the body of a child of 12, maybe 13 something like that. It was a girl with no parents, no lineage, no story of her own except for having a strong physique, capable of holding the small remnants of his soul left and somehow still being mentally strong so as to fight off much of his horrible personality.

Thus with all the knowledge in the world about magic, in a world with none of it, and being the emperor of a now ransacked, brutally massacred and destroyed empire, he had no choice but to stay low and find a way to become just as powerful as before and this time destroy Jinwoo!

Since no one liked this girl as much to begin with, Anatres managed to blend his own ambitions with Haeins pretty well and become adapted into society for a good while until, shocker.

Just as he was about to train he was about to heal himself after exterting too much power in the young girl's body to win the race, his old enemy, lover and killer appeared right in front of him.

And yeah, that was definetly Ashborn, kind both in monarch and ruler form, but also with detached eyes watching everyone in the world like a lonesome god, alien to evrrything and at the same time not.

He looked as though he had been at the start of the universe, and at the same time he smiled like a little boy.

Jinwoo went on to heal her calf and Haein asked of him just how he did that, but deep inside other questions arose too, why are you here? Do you know me? What do you want for me? Do you want to kill me again? Hah! I wont let you. This time I shall be the one to send you to your own damn pits of slumber!

And Jinwoo of course replied innocently, not knowing the true soul behind this little girl as he said "Ill tell you everything if you have a race with me."

#solo leveling #sung jin woo #cha hae in #jinhae but haein is bloody obssesed with fucking him and killing him and doesnt know which one she should do #ultimately haein is just completly a mess for jinwoo bc haha her past self was a complete mess for ashborn #there is also a part of dragon culture that is ingrainned in them about how if one dragon is willing to fall in love and love is #reciprocated then the dragons cannot fall back on their world and will forever be bound to that person in life and death. #so instead of marriage and a 'till death do us part' the dragons quite literally trade a piece of their soul with one another #usually half #so as to be bonded spirtually even beyond the end of time #and in every lifetime. #haein and jinwoo are literally just outright the other half of their souls to each other haha #and thats why ahsborn was also able to become a monarch and live with ease. #this WAS part of ABs plan but Asjborn thought he had been secretly been infused with a new power by AB when in fact it was the opposite #he had been infused with half of the fragment of darkness from Antares and Ashborn had in turn given him half the fragment of light #and Thats was also why Antares had been able to be revived #since his soul literally still lingered in Ashborn all his other remnants had to do was find haein and then little by little haein too #would get back the fragments of brightness that antares once had #aka they literally cannot killed each other bc they fuked #and will likely keep fuking in their new lives too haha #okay done

[disagigglebilities]

Trying to manifest "please realize I'm super disabled" vibes towards my ssdi case worker

#god im so depressed about this #like please just say yah youre disabled alright and stamp the form #i cannot live with my mother forever she will drive me to an early death

[eorzeashan]

Empress Acina's "Intelligence should have retired you when they had the chance!" is still sticking with me after Iokath, and I think it does for many agents who would be grossly offended by such a cruel statement given what they went through which was equivalent to being retired, but Eight...Eight would let the mask slip for a second.

Oh Acina, he'd say, soft and deep with a smile bared like fangs, they already tried. Didn't you do your research?

#swtor #oc: orradiz #is in love with death but cannot let himself die #to die is to lose to live is to win #to live is to fight forever and haunt every battlefield #still having thoughts over the original Eight as well. #he experienced a fear so great at having someone he loved be marked for a fate worse than any death #that he became desensitized to all fears after #reasons why he is so enamored by jadus #can you imagine knowing you cannot let yourself die or the worst of your fears will come true #can you imagine forcing yourself to live because dying would be a fate worse than your own death #I don't often talk about Nosta bc she haunts him as much as he does Intelligence #but her fatal flaw was having a life to return to despite being a cipher #and eight saw this and realized he couldn't let her be retired #because someone who is loved who is not an unfeeling weapon like him deserves to live. #oh to start your career as a Cipher by killing everyone who was supposed to be on your side... #admin you are sooo edgy. well you see i am a horror buff and being an agent seems like a horror in itself

[soldier-poet-king]

What to do when you want to *** but you're "not supposed to" drink yourself silly BC it's 11am, and also you can't leave your room without running into family and also you are useless and pointless and can't do anything right and that's just. How it's gonna be forever.

#franposting #ignore me. its just #oh it sure is a day #this was supposed to be a good long weekend #i really just want to be unconscious for the entirety of it and then also forever after permanently #i cannot spend the whole weekend drunk but i want to #and im supposed yo go see hamilton sunday as a bday gift with my mother which like #1 seeing it w my mother hell. shes gonns fuckin flipm she doesnt know abt the cheating plotline #and in my fucked family??? god i shkuld jjust kms #2 even if i wasnt going with her im just. depressed and useless and want to do notbing but lie in a hole and wait to die #bc i cant escape myself #anyway its just :) #physically i am fine pls dont worry #im just. well. u know #a piece kf shit. AND failed my highway test again. which is 90$ a pop. bc i cant do basic child shit #or bc everyone in the goddam city drives so bad and i dont even WANT TO USE THE HIGHWAYS #and the ttc sucks ass and i cant afford to live somewhere where u can just use transit (ie. parts of europe. parts of asia) #anyway!!! just.!!!! wow i hate it

[myname-isnia]

So… my childhood best friend, the boy I grew up with, the guy I unironically called my brother on multiple occasions, is currently in Palestine fighting for the IDF

I just.. have no words

#his mom is also going through like 50 levels of cognitive dissonance #like.. the woman packed up her entire life and left russia #with her mom and sons and ex husband and dog and everyone #claiming that she cannot in good conscience support the ukranian genocide by existing as a russian person #and moved… to israel #on account of her maternal grandad being jewish or smth? #and is now on facebook every day posting the most vile shit about palestinians that you can imagine #claiming she’s defending her homeland or whatever. bruh what homeland your family’s been living in Moscow since forever #and… I don’t know if her son shares her views or what he thinks about this whole thing #we don’t really talk anymore #but I cannot call him a brother anymore. not after this #can’t even call him a friend #don’t really know what to think rn

[highlifeboat]

Wait... If you thought Elena would be Chloe, then what is this about?

"PriceMarsh feels closer to Belena, but if Elena didn't know how to handle guns".

We literally go to junkyard and watch Chloe shoot shit. She literally shoots a guy in one of the story branches.

I mean, she's not professional, but neither is Elena, let's be honest :p

Chloe doesn't know the first thing about handling a gun.

Chloe, who thought a good idea of a fun afternoon was "I'm gonna drink alcohol and then go target shooting with my friend right next to me". Chloe, who thought it was a good idea to steal a gun in the first place. Chloe, who pointed a loaded weapon at her friend for a joke.

She literally treats the gun like a toy. She's 19 with a temper and some clearly unmanaged problems, she should not have a gun.

Elena might not know everything about guns, but I can guarantee you she knows more than Chloe.

#just because chloe can use a gun doesn't mean she knows anything about them #i can fire a gun at bottles too that doesn't mean I should have one #it's also worth noting she cannot aim at the bottles without max and also her shooting frank and his dog does not feel... on purpose #like it feels like she shoots the dog out of getting startled and then she shoots frank in a panic and now she has to live with that foreve #none of what chloe does with this gun screams ''yes she should be allowed to have this weapon'' #i can at least infer elena knows how to use a gun because she grew up in a village that seems to hunt or at least use guns regularly for #protection. it only makes sense she knows how #her technique with holding a shotgun at her hip is questionable but still #asks #horror lady00

[julie-finlay]

Finlay Friday

13x01: "Karma to Burn", script extracts. Pt. 3/3. Unaired scenes under the cut.

#CSI #CSI CBS #Julie Finlay #Finlay Friday #DB Russell #Barbara Russell #Carlos Moreno #Karma to Burn #script extracts #my gifs #1. the good news is the next six episodes are all back to fitting in one post #the bad(?)/glorious(??) news is that CSI on Fire is definitely going to be a four-parter lmao I cannot wait #2. re: unaired scenes - i'm off to live forever in the AU where Russell killed Briscoe #so Winthrop never met his brother and s15 didn't happen #ps give me the Barbara/Finn scene or give me death #(although by omitting it we move from Brass telling DB “Go home. Be with your family.” straight to Finn walking in) #(because she is his family) #3. my brain is trying to spin meta on the theme of Finn/hope #like I never know what to DO with CSI Unplugged and her 800 assertions the kid is dead #and here she's SO scared that the same has happened to Katie #and lately I've been thinking that if you add it together with the 'lost someone she loved' backstory then #hope becomes dangerous; hope gets you hurt #I think I'd like to write something coherent on this but for now tag meta will do!!!

[countess-of-edessa]

baked a cake from scratch, fed the dogs and the father, cleaned the kitchen, wrapped christmas presents. wearing a beige sweaterdress and black ballet flats, hair in bun. reading a profile on hilaria baldwin…the cottagecore tradwife in me is winning i fear

#im being sarcastic but honestly though i keep having the creeping and uncharitable thought of like. i don’t think this is quite as hard as #my mother has always made it seem. and my father is literally zero help and she works really hard but also there was always the not-always- #unspoken implication that the reason the house was always kind of messy and disorganized and everything was kind of chaotic and accompanied #by a distinct sense of overwhelm was because of my sister and I #either our stuff or our actions or the fact that taking care of us took up too much time she could devote to other stuff #but neither my sister nor i live at home full time anymore and when we do at least i am objectively more helpful than anything else #so im like okay well that wasn’t it then #and like i also get that everyone thinks they could do better until THEY get married and have kids and then you see #but the backlash against the pressure for everything to be picture perfect has turned into (imo) a general “relatable” idea that #adulthood and especially marriage and parenthood is nothing but a slide into complacency and chaos forever and like. i just don’t agree wit #that. obviously you cannot live as you did as a single person or a non parent but the prevailing image of parenthood i see advertised as #“realistic” is one where everyone is constantly exhausted unhappy and living in filth #i See a question from a woman asking how to SURVIVE nine whole days of winter break with her children. SURVIVE? wtf? #i do think parents of today spend too much time with their children and that’s part of the issue but also like. i cannot believe that #everything is as thoroughly and completely awful as it is pretty much always portrayed nowadays #and how i see it reflected at me. and this isn’t like a housewives don’t work aaaa thing because no. #but like. when i see people being like you can’t expect your sahm to get the laundry done OR dinner made OR the house clean on a consistent #basis EVER i am kind of like…..but literally what are you doing then if none of those things?? #cause unless you homeschool or have literal infants (whole different ballgame) then like…what are you doing #maybe an unpopular opinion but I think a lot of women are bad at being housewives. because it is a skill that women used to study and learn #and now it’s not but it’s still the most important job in society #so we took away all the instruction manuals for the backbone of society and now who comes the closest to approximating an educational resou #? influencers. which is horrible because any person you are taking advice from on Instagram is someone with a public Instagram account #which automatically makes them odd and untrustworthy and not someone at least I would want to emulate. #my mother doesn’t apply to this she is a great homemaker her issues are (1) time management (2) fatigue (3) starts too many projects #but i digress #i suppose i shouldn’t say that I reject the idea children turn your life to chaos because I don’t. but I do reject the idea that #the chaos of parenthood sentences everyone to a perpetual state of overwhelm and reactivity #that simply has never been the case for people in any time period before now even when raising children and the daily business of living wa #far more labor intensive

[chimonai]

In her main verse now that she has a body again, what does revenge look like to her? Does she have an idea of what she would go? Basically what would be the best scenario for her and if she does get it, what she would do with herself afterwards??

Plainly put, she wants all people involved with her death to suffer the same anguish she had to suffer at their hands. While she was still alive, her murders were motivated by the need to cover up her original crime, the staged kidnapping. As such, they were more “business” than pleasure, though that’s not to say she didn’t derive gratification from her deeds all the same ( she might not have started to kill if it hadn’t been for her circumstances however ). Now that she’s back once more, she doesn’t only want to get rid of the people she despises, she wants to torment them, before granting them, one after the other, a slow, painful death.

If she managed to achieve this, I don’t think it would appease her. Nothing will ever truly rectify the wrongs that have been done to her. She’s animated by her goal for revenge, yes, but its completion will instill her with a fleeting sense of satisfaction, before emptiness and ennui will take over. She's still D.ahlia H.awthorne; dead, dissatisfied, with no hope of ever leading the life she has envisioned for herself.

#ofgentleresolve #* ∙ ✿◞ answered. #* ∙ ✿◞ chr. study. #kinda depressi huh. #she's truly been doomed by the narrative 😔 #honestly to me she's one of the most tragic characters in the game #but it's just like m.ia f.ey said #she will always be someone who cannot win at anything #and she will have to live with the punishment of forever being herself

[ultimategirldad]

✨️ The long awaited return...! ✨️

*rises from the ashes like a phoenix with a body clock innately attuned to deltarune and deltarune only* hello. I live!          ...anyway. 1 week till DR CH2 anniversary how y'all doing? 

#it has been a WHILE holy shit have I missed you all #I give you a recent electra sketch as an offering. a little treat. a morsel. #she looks extra girl boss here omg yes girl slay. live rent free in my mind (apparently forever???? because I Cannot Get You Out--) #right! let's do like a quick life update since it isn't really a capri post without paragraphs of tags lmao #short version: I'm doing pretty good despite my country economically falling apart! yay! #I had a bit of a hiccup a few months ago though bc my iron deficiency anemia got so bad I couldn't walk-- #from my bedroom to the lounge w/out getting super breathless and ill and. it was bad. #I was worried I was gonna end up having a heart attack it was terrifying. Waiting to recover was anxiety inducing :( #but! I'm doing a lot better now and can go on walks again and it makes me so so happy holy shit #still like... got some unexplainable chronic pain issues that have not been solved. so not perfect. but good enough for now. #apart from that I have some exciting things going on that I'm waiting for confirmation on. will elaborate another time. #I really missed this lovely community 🥺💜 I have SO much art and writings to catch up on!!! I'll be a reblogging machine honestly sdfgjkl #you are all kind and wonderful and so creative and...! just. I'm vv excited to celebrate DR and UT anniversaries with you all 💕💕💕 #fingers crossed I might have some time to create celebratory art! let's wait and see 🤞 #deltarune oc #electra