#she claims shes not a typical asian mom but

[natashasfilms]

Chapter Three - Quick Reflexes

Summary: While having to deal with personal issues in her life, Aria Kaul has to fight off monsters from another dimension after one of the kids she babysits goes missing.

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Original Female Character

Warnings: This story contains mature themes such as sexual content, strong language, violence, mentions of alcohol and drugs, blood, gore, and death.

Note: I imagine Aria Kaul as South Asian but I have decided to let you, the reader, imagine her appearance, hence the reason why I have not given her a face claim. However, her race does not affect the story, whatsoever. You, as the reader, are free to imagine her however you want. If you don’t see her as South Asian, then that’s fine. It won’t affect the storyline.

Series Masterlist

School wasn’t something Aria typically enjoyed but at least she was smart and at the top of her classes. She was glad she only had one more year before she could finally leave this hellhole and start her life officially.

She was eating lunch with her friends from class when she heard some ruckus coming from the tables two down from hers.

“Oh, Steve!”

“Oh, Steve! Oh, Steve!”

“Oh, Steve…” Carol and Tommy continued making moaning and groaning noises, as well as banging the table, mimicking what Aria assumed was Steve and Nancy. She made a face at their table, instantly wanting to throw up. She accidentally made eye contact with Nancy and the girl started getting uncomfortable. Was she that scary?

Aria never hated Nancy and she doesn't hate her now. She had always wanted to grow a friendship with her but it was as if she was never interested. She seemed like a nice girl and she would always see her from time to time whenever she babysat the kids but otherwise, it was as if they were total strangers. However, she wouldn’t want to go near her now as she was in a relationship with Steve Harrington. One, because Aria just could not stand to be around him. And two, Nancy could do so much better than him.

Suddenly, Jonathan walked past the cafeteria and caught Aria’s eye, instantly ushering her to come over. She got up and threw her tray away, walking towards the Byers’ boy.

“Hey,” she breathed out.

“Hey…” Jonathan dragged, as if he was contemplating whether to say the next thing on his mind. Aria waited patiently, waiting for him to talk. He called her over so he would take his time to say whatever it was. “I, um, I don’t think mom’s doing so good…”

“What? Why? What happened?”

“She–she’s just…she’s starting to talk to the lights and she says that Will is talking to her through them?” Jonathan said, shaking his head.

Aria arched her brows. “Will is talking to her…through the lights?”

He looked at her and nodded his head. “I know, it sounds crazy, which is why I’m getting so worried about her. I don’t know what to do…”

Aria put a hand on his shoulder. “Jonathan,” she said, making him look up at her. “Maybe this is a way for your mom to cope throughout all of this, you know? Yeah, she sounds, um, a bit, um–”

“Insane.”

“No! No. She’s just not in the right state of mind currently but it will get better once we find Will, alright? You two are so strong and obviously it’s going to cause you and your mom lots of stress but it will get better. We will find Will and we will bring him home.” Said Aria, putting both of her hands on his shoulder. “Trust me.”

Jonathan nodded and hugged her. “I appreciate you for supporting us through all of this. I don’t know what I would do without you, Ari.”

“Of course, Jon,” said Aria, rubbing his back. “I’ll always be here.”

It was the end of the school day and Aria was walking up to her car when she noticed that group of idiots, Nancy, and Jonathan near his car. She instantly started rushing over, wanting to know what was going on and why they were taunting her best friend.

“Hey!” Aria said loudly, their attention towards her now. “What’s going on here?”

“Your little boyfriend here was stalking us last night,” said Tommy, an evil grin on his face. “Acting like the little pervert he is.”

Aria had a confused look on her face and looked at Jonathan. “What are they talking about?”

“Look at these photos and see for yourself,” said Carol, handing her a photo that was taken from Jonathan’s camera, the camera Steve was holding in his hand right now.

Aria took the photo and looked at it, seeing that it was a photo of Nancy, Steve, Tommy, and Carol in the pool. She obviously couldn’t defend Jonathan after seeing this. It was wrong, she knew that, and she knew Jonathan knew that. Though, she had a feeling this group wasn't going to leave him alone after this.

Aria looked up, purposefully keeping her head turned away from Jonathan. “Why are you holding his camera, Harrington?”

For the first time in years, she had finally addressed him face to face. They made eye contact, a look of hurt in his eyes, before he started speaking again. “Well, you see, the thing about perverts…it’s hardwired into ’em.” He said, now looking at Jonathan. “You know, they just can’t help themselves.”

Aria looked at Nancy, wanting her to do something. He was her boyfriend after all. Nancy understood, still intimidated by the girl, and called Steve. “Steve, can we–can we just–”

“No Nancy, we have to deal with this somehow,” Steve shushed her. “We just have to take away his toy.”

“No, please, not the camera,” Jonathan begged. This camera meant everything to him, Aria knew that.

It was as if time was moving in slow motion. Steve handed Jonathan the camera, Jonathan giving him a look before making a grab for it when at the last second, he let go of it. Right before the camera hit the ground and broke into pieces, Aria quickly grabbed the camera straps, saving it from falling apart.

Everyone looked at her, mouth agape. “Quick reflexes.” She stated, giving them all a look. “How about you assholes just leave before I actually give you something to break.”

Tommy snickered. “Look at Kaul defending her little pervy boyfriend.”

“Leave.” Aria told them.

They left, but not before ripping the photos Jonathan took apart, letting it fall onto the ground. Jonathan got down and started picking them up while Nancy looked at the photos, one catching her eye, and immediately started picking it up. Aria got down to help Jonathan, seeing that Nancy was taking the shredded photo and shoving it into her bag. She watched her walk away with Steve and the others, looking back over her shoulder, and then walking away.

As Aria was picking up the ripped pieces of the pictures, one shredded piece caught her eye. There seemed to be a shadow lingering in one of them, and not just any shadow, a really big shadow that seemed to only come from some type of creature. She started searching for the other pieces, making sure Jonathan didn’t notice, and started shoving them inside the pockets of her jacket. She doubted Jonathan saw as he was lost in his own thoughts while picking up the pieces of paper.

She looked over at Jonathan and could sense he wanted to say something but didn’t have the courage to do so. He felt ashamed and the fact that his best friend had to witness it made it ten times worse.

“I’m not mad at you,” Aria spoke out, causing him to finally look at her.

“You’re not?”

“No.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “It was definitely wrong but there’s no point in being angry at you over it. What’s done is done. Plus, I saved your camera so now you owe me in the future.”

He softly laughed. “Yeah, thank you for that. Those were some quick reflexes.”

“I know right?”

Aria went home later and immediately went upstairs to her room. She took out the shredded pieces of the photo out of her pocket and laid them out on her bed. There was something strange about the picture and she was determined to put the pieces together again to find out. Maybe Nancy saw something similar in the photo she took and decided to discreetly take it without Jonathan knowing.

She found some tape on her desk and started putting the photo back together, just like a puzzle. It took a few tries before she actually found the right match to each spot, her eyes widening at what she saw.

The photo was of Steve’s pool, not a single person in sight, but what irked her was the figure in the corner, a creature. It looked almost as if it was from another dimension. No animal looked like that. This was big and dark, and it looked like it had no actual face. She had to tell Jonathan. There could be a possibility that this thing may have taken Will as Joyce recalled hearing a creature through the phone the other night.

She carefully placed the photo into her pocket and got up. Just as she was going to get the phone to call Jonathan, the phone started ringing. She huffed and ran to pick it up, hoping that it was just the wrong number.

“Hello?”

“Ari,” Jonathan’s voice broke out at the other end. Aria furrowed her brows because his voice was shaky, instantly knowing that whatever he was going to say next, she wasn’t going to like. “They found Will.”

“Jonathan…” She knew what was coming. “Don’t.”

“He’s gone.”

Aria broke down for the first time in four years.

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve harrington x original character #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington series #reticent series #steve harrington x fem!oc #steve harrington x aria kaul #fluff #angst

[deonaenaeh]

filipino percy jackson — bulleted headcanons

my percy jackson is filipino <33

sally’s parents were OFWs (Oversees Filipino Workers) who migrated to the US for better job opportunities; however their death forced sally to stay in the US permanently as an immigrant

the reason why percy is the shortest among the trio during the first few books (and at some point shorter than annabeth), is because filipinos are genetically short

percy speedruns chores before sally comes home, loves rice and the rice cooker, wears slippers (tsinelas) all the time, sits with one leg up, points with his lips etc. — the typical filipino kid

he loves blue pancit canton (one of sally’s homemade specialties of course) and eats it with blue coke

he owns a teal jersey with “JACKSON 18” written on it that he wears whenever he plays basketball

percy is quite flexible and usually sits in an “asian squat” in which the other campers try to copy but fail to do so

percy gets so excited whenever he meets other filipino-american demi-gods and mortals alike

he started crying over seafood after being claimed by poseidon — filipino cuisine contains a large variety of seafood (coming from a tropical country) in which percy can no longer enjoy the same way

whenever he leads zumba/any warm up exercises in CHB, it’s always Otso Otso

percy tricks people he doesn’t like luke into thinking that “putangina mo” means “i love you”

he sometimes blurts “mahal kita” (the real “i love you”) when talking to annabeth, knowing that she doesn’t understand what he’s saying

he trolls people with jejemon texts;

percy: eLlOw fOe mUztAH kA nA fO3 (hey, how are you?)

annabeth: i don’t speak bullshit

percy loves and respects his mom so much — it doesn’t matter what his race or ethnicity is, this is canon in every way

he calls her “ma” (mama) or “nay” (nanay)

percy is the kindest kid you’ll ever meet —he’ll take care of everybody even when no one asked — because filipinos are known for their hospitality, be disrespectful and you get the slipper

his eyes have brown gradients around his pupils when he was younger but as he grows older (and more powerful) his eyes become fully sea green

the tips of his hair turns sea green when in contact with saltwater

percy has a good voice and teaches OPM (original filipino music) songs to other campers (especially the apollo cabin) to sing in the campfire

percy is left-handed (kaliwete) ; but was trained to be ambidextrous when he arrived at CHB

percy is the type of kid who likes burning things with a magnifying glass;

annabeth and grover: percy what are you do-

percy: CHECK THIS OUT *burns stuff*

“hatdog”

highkey fighting the urge to call athena “tita” because he might get yeeted

#percy jackson #percy pjo #pjo #pjoverse #au #pjo au #filipino #filipino percy #filipino percy jackson #filo percy #percy and annabeth #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson headcanons

[sarcasticsparkles]

Miraculous Ladybug is Bad

Alright! Since I’ve been told my grievances with the show are just whining and complaining, I will now make a whole post proving why this show is objectively bad.

Reason 1: Underage Ass

There is a lot of highlighted underage...parts on these characters. Many people would say this is just skintight outfits and that would be normal. Typically I would agree. HOWEVER, someone on the MLB team, Winny, was exposed about a year ago for drawing NSFW art of underage children and Thomas Astruc stood by this person. That is the cause for so much concern.

Let's look at some of the most egregious examples. If I looked at all the times Ladybug's ass was highlighted in horrifying detail, I would be here all day, so here are just a few OF MANY examples

Let’s add some highlighted breasts and stomach lines into the mix! Oh let’s not forget Lady Noire! Her outfit was so stupidly skintight you can see her belly button, crotch lines in many frames, and this one it’s kinda blurry but YOU CAN SEE NIPPLE OUTLINES!

And now Ladybug. You can see the highlighted details of her entire back and like... why is her ass like this? SHE IS 14.

Ladyfly didn’t exist for long and already she’s been subjected to that name and this nonsense.

Thought Chat Noir was safe? Well, you thought wrong. It still happens with him.

Reason 2: Whitewashing

I’d go more in detail on this one, but just look at Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Pegasus. It’s not hard to spot.

Marinette is also extremely whitewashed. Yes, I am aware biracial people don't all look the same and such, but Astruc has marketed this show and claimed on Twitter that this is about Asian representation. Still, Marinette shows no indication besides her Mom that she is Asian or even remotely interested. She doesn't know the language and the one time she had a chance to learn about her culture, she was taking advantage of her parents so she could go to Shanghai to stalk Adrien. This would be tolerable on its own, not all biracial people are the same, and others have their opinions, but again with how this was framed to be.

Reason 3: Marinette is the worst protagonist of all time

Did you know that according to French Law, Marinette has 186 years in prison? This number is because of her stalking! Her crimes include but aren't limited to stalking, unprovoked assault, trespassing, breaking and entering, vandalism, theft, the list goes on.

All of her movies are tied to her lust for Adrien. I went more in detail on this in another post, but her “love” is actually the literal definition of lust.

Here are some examples of these crimes in detail. Motive doesn't count, don't give me that, these are crimes no matter how you slice it, and no, being Ladybug is not going to excuse this.

In the Christmas Special, she beat the crap out of an old man because he was around Adrien. She says she thought he was akumatized, but given her track record with people who breathe around Adrien and how this man did not look akumatized at all, it’s hard to believe. And given her strength, she very well could have killed this man.

Stealing Adrien's phone in Copycat.

Breaking into Adrien's house in Chat Blanc and Bubbler and trying to break in during Oni-Chan.

Stalking in general, given how many photos she has on her shrine, is not all something you could get online. They seem largely taken during scenes. Also her entire schedule of Adrien’s that she has on a whole thing in her room AND in a little notebook she carries on her person at all times.

And in general, she is a terrible person in sabotaging any competition she has around Adrien. God forbid another woman breathes in Adrien's direction. And her treatment of Luka? She downright admitted to cheating on him, and while it wasn't literal, she still had her shrine up of Adrien and KNEW she still loved Adrien. Then in Crocoduel, she told Juleka to uninvite her brother to his own birthday party. I could go on and probably will later.

And her treatment of Chat Noir? I checked, and you can find the ENTIRE CYCLE OF ABUSE IN THE NEW YORK SPECIAL! People always say Chat is the abuser when everything he's done is a puddle compared to a lake.

And the main issue? SHE NEVER GETS ANY PENALTIES FOR THIS! She has committed crimes and, in general, been a terrible human being, but she never faces any repercussions! Nobody calls her out, she is never punished, and she gets an awesome reward most of the time! She teaches people that stalking and abuse are good!

Oh, let’s not forget Crocoduel was the very next episode after Chat Noir tried to kill himself. Ladybug brought on a much more powerful Tiger hero. That’s like the classic villain move of “I can always replace you.”

UPDATE: We have now had her stalking and abusive tendencies treated as a serious thing in-universe, proving it is not just exaggerated for “comedy” purposes. The writers did this and tried to justify that Marinette can do this because she has trauma, but goes out of its way to say nobody else can use their trauma to explain their behavior.

UPDATE 2: Gabriel won. We can’t say for certain how much Marinette is leaning into Gabriel’s lies and allowing Adrien to believe his abuser was a good person actually, but what can be said without any doubt is she didn’t tell him he was a sentimonster, which he has a right to know. Regardless of what you think of Marinette, there’s something to be said that a lot of the fandom sees Lila as more likely to tell Adrien the truth than Marinette is.

Not to mention that what tie does Marinette even have to the plot? Her plotline is "I want that famous dick!" but like...until season 4, what connected her to the Agreste plotline that couldn't be replaced with literally anyone else? Adrien is the one with ties to the plot and has the skillset to become the guardian, he is the one with more relation to Asian culture. Not much but certainly more than Marinette. Why is he not the main protagonist?

Reason 4: The plot or lack thereof

Nothing happened in the first two seasons of this show. If you combined seasons 1 and 2 and removed the blatant filler, nothing would change for the plot. And this ties into my point of "Why is Marinette the main character?" by this show's actual plot of the Agreste family is on the backburner for way too many episodes of Marinette foaming at the mouth over Adrien.

No, seriously, here are some charts of the screen time between Marinette and Adrien that I did with my former partner while timing this whole show, which let me tell you is a grueling task.

The show focuses so much on Marinette, when I am serious that her only storyline is not tied to the plot. The main plot of this show with the actual villain is put on the backburner for this little stalker.

Okay, if Marinette had a tie to the plot that wasn't her lust, and there was a real reason she had to be Ladybug and not literally anyone else, then go ahead and keep her. But she has no ties to the plot that matters and no reason to justify her existence since all she brings is a detriment.

Also, there is barely a timeline for this show! Season 1 was jumping all over the place but seemed to be over a year, but then in season 3, we're told EVERYTHING was over one year? Excuse me?! You're telling me the season that went from September to February in like 10 episodes was actually all in the span of 4 months?!

I will be updating this list, please know. I am not done.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous critical #marinette salt #mlb salt

[lady-of-disdain]

Taking the more recent actions of jk out of the picture for a second her series still has:

1. Fatphobia, so much fatphobia

2. Lycanthropy being likened to aids with a specific werewolf going only after children.

3. Goblins being equated to Jewish people and even including the Star of David on the main bank floor in the movie.

4. An abusive teacher that joined the magic n#zis who spent almost 2 decades bullying literal children including ones who were already in abusive homes.

5. Expects us to have sympathy for said teacher because he wanted to bang the protagonists mom as if that erases abuse.

6. A magically enslaved race who wants to be slaves and only one person thinks it’s wrong.

7. A magical snake who’s enslaved by the bad guy and revealed to be an Asian woman.

8. Cho Chang being two Korean last names but the character is supposed to be Chinese.

9. Rita skeeter being described with features stereotypical to that of a trans woman.

10. The way she bastardized Native American sacred animals and beliefs in the new movie series.

11. Only one character is explicitly black in the book. His last name is shackle bolt.

12. Confirming dumbledoor as gay years after the series ended. Refusing to let him be portrayed as gay in the new series but still saying him and grindlewald have “hot sex”

So yeah… I know I’m missing things but the series really doesn’t hold up well after 20+ years especially coupled with the author being a terf.

I take a while to get to asks sometimes because my work week can be so hectic, so for anyone who thinks this ask seems very out of the blue since I don't really reblog any HP content, it was sent shortly after an incident where a Yashahime/Rurouni Kenshin/Harry Potter fan showed up on one of Billy's posts about hny and rk proclaiming that they support rk and just because they support rk doesn't mean that they support the creator's views. It was especially ironic because they tagged JK Rowling as well in their reblog with that statement, and it turned out they were a terf, which means they very much DO support the fictional media AS WELL AS the creator's views.

All that said as far as my response Nonny, I do agree. There was a lot of stuff that Rowling said or did even before she was an out and proud terf that made me question her sanity.

I grew up on HP just like a lot of us did, and there is no denying it made a large impact on who I am as an adult today that can never be changed. I still describe myself as a Hufflepuff, I still have the books I bought way back in high school sitting on my book shelf, and somewhere in boxes in my closet I'm sure I've still got my wand and my homemade Hufflepuff scarf.

But DESPITE the fact that her stories did have such an affect on me, I refuse to allow her to have any more part in my life, and I refuse to put any more money or attention into her current works.

I suppose this is on part a secondary response to that terf who showed up in the above linked post (if I hadn't already blocked their nasty ass), because they kept trying to claim that you can still enjoy a piece of media even if the creator is pretty terrible, and honestly?

If you are viewing the media on a paid subscription site, you are supporting the creator. If you are buying official merch, you are supporting the creator. And honestly, if you are going out of your way to tell other people that it's fine to do the above two things in order to "support the fandom community" you are inadvertently supporting the creator because you are fostering an environment in your fandom where the people partaking it it think it's fine to put their money into it.

I don't really partake in anything HP these days except maybe occasionally reading fanfiction. But fanfiction is all about continuing or changing media past what the original gave us anyways, so honestly I find that it doesn't typically count. (If I had a dollar for every time I read the words "I never played Undertale" when reading UT fanfiction comments.)

But if I DID want to see the new Fantastic Beasts movie coming out (lolno) then I would pirate that shit faster then Jack Sparrow could steal a ship right out from under it's captain nose.

AND I would make sure to proudly admit that fact any time I talked about it, AND I would help other people also pirate it. Because it's not enough to quietly enjoy your free media while hyping up the media in the fandom.

There is a YouTuber I've stumbled across once or twice that makes a great argument for Piracy of anime in light of how streaming services work, and in an effort to try to make them better. But I feel like this is also a great way to openly oppose the support of creators like Watsuki. "Oh you're gonna remake Rurouni Kenshin? Fuck you we're all pirating it just to spite him."

One of the arguments that people have made against his supporting of piracy is "what about the animators?" Well his audience has been supporting the animators via the Animator Dormitory Project for the past 3 years. Their entire stance being instead of paying for that streaming service, pirate what you want to watch and instead put that money towards the cogs in the system to keep them afloat until the industry gets the message.

Anyways this response has gotten way longer then I intended so I'm going to leave it off here with a hilarious response video from above YouTuber to the corporate bootlickers that were crying "waaah piracy is wrooooong!"

#anti yashahime #anti jkr #anti rurouni kenshin

[fmdkiana]

hiya i’m demi, she/they, pt. this is kiana, also goes by ki and kiki, & if that nickname brings to mind anything But kiki’s delivery service u shall b Wrong. here’s her musing pinterest, fc pin board (if you want to see the diff btwn equinox ki and the real ki), social media, past claims, public profile, private profile, and bio. you can reach me easiest at fmdjoosung or demi#6468 on discord if you’d like to plot!

background

may 28th, 1994 ya girl is a gemini

born to a pediatric surgeon and a software engineer (who specializes in ai bc her mom is Cool) kiana developed a love for science… then tossed it away to be A Star

not immediately though

really it all stems from the desire to be unique in a positive way

with seattle’s large (comparatively) east asian population, she was lumped together with everyone else, and places where she stood out, kids made fun of her for

she felt like an outcast in every sense of the word, which is why when A Boy gave her the genuine time of day, she latched on

they quickly became bad for each other, codependent at its best

kiana’s lil ass rly thought they were romeo and juliet torn apart when her parents made them break up

she kept sneaking out to see him, and eventually it became troublesome enough that her parents decided to move the fam to korea

heartbroken and with the desire to feel desired, she auditioned for gold star

since she was young, she had dance classes, just as her mom did before giving it up for something more stable

dance isn’t what drove her as much as the feeling of a crowd being entertained by her

trained for 3 years, gold star had high hopes for her given her dance background + looks, hence her role in platinum’s it’s okay. og thought she’d b a lil acting star 4 them

but they kinda forget abt her bc ppl cant Get her image. as a person she’s very 4d personality but gs wanted a chic member out of her and they just Didn’t mesh. so she had osts while gs didnt kno what to do w her. n even tho the songs were popular it did basc nothing for her individually

so they go back to actor era n snag her a role, where even tho the show tanked, her role becomes rly popular. then yadda yadda mismanagement they only capitalize on that with modelling til four years later she has another acting gig n she turns out to be not nearly as good as ppl thought she was in her first role

as hyeri put it her image and career thus far are like a ‘you tried’ gold star

it leaves her a little dejected, fearful, worried, but part of her still wants to strive for more attention, and claw her way there, because she aches terribly to feel special and different, and to a degree, idol life will always give that to her

personality

the archetype of the kid in middle school who calls themselves L and only draws in typical anime style and comes to school in cosplay and naruto runs around and randomly speaks japanese…….. yeah, that was kiana as a kid

and really, she’s only let the problematic parts of it go. she’s still a big fat weeb (& has lots of other fandom type interests too)

an internet kid, someone who never got a big following. draws fanart, has written fanfiction, engages on fan forums. stays at home unless she’s dragged out by friends

she’s a very Normal, Everyday type person in most ways, and that bugs her to no end

she’s someone who as a kid thought she had superpowers, like full on believed it, and to this day still thinks well maybe it’s just not kicked in yet

considers herself ~an empath~ because she naturally has very strong emotions, and seeing or “feeling” the emotions of others makes her feel that way too. that includes positive And negative emotions

she can b and is wrong about what she “feels” from others, but the emotional effect on herself is still the same

and because that happens so much, kiana retreats into herself

she has a very small inner circle, and isn’t very interested in more than surface level relationships with most people because it’s exhausting to feel so much all of the time

that means usually, most people meeting her will meet someone who can be doin a little doodle, you’ll say hi, she’ll say hi back, then go right back to her doodle. that, or she’s stumbling over her words bc she’s heavily overthinking smth mildly embarrassing

she’s Nice and polite enough, but doesn’t take those first steps to get closer. some ppl might view her coldly bc of it

HOWEVA if someone were to bring up one of her ~special interests, she would come off like a completely different person

animated kinda loud, won’t shut up. very entrapta. that’s more often the type of person her inner circle gets to see. this

she’s pretty expressive no matter who she’s talking to, like her face does a Lot of talking even when her mouth doesn’t, but that dial turns up to 100 when she’s comfortable and/or interested. if she’s not feeling anything she’s just like Blank face lol

she’s also a reversal of the hard shell soft inside trope, as a lot of her outward self and personality can seem soft, gentle, maybe even naive depending on someone’s view, but there is a core to her affection thats…

ki feels a Lot, and part of that is in the way she loves, platonic or not. she can be super clingy and obsessive and sorta possessive over the people she’s Chosen. and those who hurt the ppl she’s chosen, or get in the way of their relationship, have like,, azula levels of anger coming their way

ki is like a mushroom. most common mushrooms r pretty basic n plain, but there are so many copycats. and the same looking mushrooms, one can be perfectly fine to eat, and the other will poison you. and i think that really strikes the ki chord. u shouldn’t assume safety from a plain exterior

fun fax

claims her style inspiration is the 70s but really mixes in influences from ~the 40s to 80s

if she’s dressing herself, heavily prefers skirts and dresses over pants. naturally likes showing midriff but not having the choice to do so on her own terms as an idol means she’s usually covering up as much as possible

doesn’t like being touched unless she’s really close with someone, then she likes a lot of it

plant mom. apartment basc a greenhouse

insists one day she will make her own jam but has yet to get around to it so she just has a bunch of jars in her apartment and uses them for plants and paper clip holders and the like

her fictional character romantic Type is the tsundere. is convinced fictional characters are the best dating partners

i think she’s still not dated a wamen but bc she’s sooo all or nothing in love, she’d think she was a lesbian when she dated women and straight when dating men. being bi wouldn’t even occur to her

always wears glasses when at home, and a good amount of the time when not working in general

her mario kart main is link bc nostalgia and valuing a strong stat set that favors zoom zoom

the furthest she goes for environmental impact is always using a hydroflask

prefers having bangs and hair with a wave

always carries bandaids and bandages in her bag because she gets eczema patches when she’s stressed and it’s Embarrassing to her so she covers em up

#famedintro #this is the same intro from her first time with some changes n additions here n there #who she isn't hasn't changed at all she's just a lil more developed #also pretty sure she's coming back one day shy of a year from the first time i brought her in?? #completely unintentional but also fate mayhaps #but i was in quite a bad place when i brought her in the first time #i feel like i wasn't able to give her the proper shot she deserved #so i'm doing it now #i adore her and hope yall will too

[i-did]

if you’ve addressed this before I apologize but what do you think of claims that Kevin is a poc coded character and his supposed “mistreatment” is fandom racism?

I mean Nora definitely intended for Kevin to be white while writing him, as she did with all other characters who races are not stated as otherwise. And like, I think I’ve seen the post you're talking about and what they describe is not what coding actually means.* There also isn't any textual basis for Kevin to be a POC besides Wymack, who people often see as non-white due to the discomfort over his 90’s tribal tattoos. IDC if people HC Kevin as a POC, but usually he’s just vaguely tan in the way people make Neil. You’ll see a “The Rock” FC for Wymack, but I haven't seen anything that actually goes beyond that. I’ve seen fic’s actively treat Dan, Matt, and Renee racistly, but Neil and Kevin get the same “vaguely tan” treatment and therefore avoid it. Nicky and Riko are different since they're canonly POC and not fanonly, so they fall into a different area. 

I would also say Kevin is a pretty common fandom favorite too? So I would disagree with that claim as well. Most people I talk to their favorite is either Andrew or Kevin it seems, then like a few Aaron lovers, and my personal favorite is Neil. These are all canonly white main characters–and are largely still depicted and treated as such. Dan, Matt, Nicky, and Renee are all larger characters than Jean or Jeremy, and besides Nicky, are intended to be white but the fandom decided weren't. So Dan, Matt and Renee all get pushed to the sidelines over favorable ‘white’ characters. Fandom’s racism actually has such wild layers tbh, same with its misogyny, but that’s another thing. 

I do think with a lot of the characters in AFTG adding headcanons making them POC can add an entire new layer to the canon and recontextualize scenes and struggles which would make some themes a lot stronger–I do this with most of the foxes in fact. 

But Kevin to me, if I do HC him as a POC, he is going to be white-passing and raised essentially believing he is white until he learns otherwise. 

Kevin to me is very peak white guy. I love him as a character, but book 1 he shows very typical white guy arrogance. He comes to a team and bosses them around while also dismissing them in the same breath. He believes he is owed something from the people around him, and they will blindly follow him and do what he says. They should always listen to him, and he automatically knows what is best–better than Dan. This feeling of “what I ask will be given, and I am above them” is definitely due to the raven mentality of everyone is inferior, but I’m sure there were racist raven recruits along the way, and Kevin is usually HC to be brown and not East Asian/Japanese, which experiences a very different type of racism. I believe if Kevin was a brown MOC… he would act differently. 

Personally, I see white-passing Kevin discovering he’s not actually white as much more narratively interesting and fitting. His mom is Irish, and it's very rare for a mixed kid to be perceived by society to look more related to their white parent than their brown parent–unless of course they're white-passing. And since the fandom usually has Wymack be a MOC, then it would make sense for this green-eyed light skin baby that never is outside but when he is he just kinda tans but is still light skinned, and think “yeah I believe her when she said he’s not my kid.” I also think it could fit Kevin’s arc of realizing Exy isn't all there is to him, in fact there is a whole culture and a father waiting for him to connect with, that he didn’t even know was there ‘as an option.’ it gives him something else to tack onto his identity as well that he had no idea about and was sheltered from. 

I’m still not solid on my own HC for Wymack and Kevin and if he will be white-passing or just white yet, but I play around with the idea sometimes for sure. But I don’t ever see him as visibly a POC. He feels no need to prove himself like Thea does and the media is shown to go easier on him as well as the foxes. The foxes are annoyed with him, but they ignore it, and the media forgives him easily and fawns over him, telling him he’s handsome and talented. Kevin from an outside perspective is very privileged in a way that parallels with Allison a lot actually. Who was based off of Paris Hilton– disowned wild child of a rich family that owns Hilton hotels, struggled with the public eye and is credited as the original influencer. 

*But yeah POC coding isn’t really a term like queer-coding is. Queerness is something that must be unstated for various reasons, which led to coding for either vilification or because there was no other way for it to be shown. But media dives pretty hard into ‘othering’ with POC, doing it’s best to show all the ways whiteness is different from ‘the rest’ by playing up stereotypes or extra emphasis on non-white features. I mean the first ever ‘talkie’ or modern day movie, had blackface in it, (the jazz singer). There is no perceived societal need for ‘POC coding’. There is such thing as ‘Jew coding’ however, which again is used for vilification and dates back pretty far in depictions of devils in churches in Europe. Kevin isn't shown as a ‘gay pervert’ like queer-coding does, or ‘dark curly hair and a strong nose, with his hands rubbing together’ like Jew-coding does. POC aren’t treated with coding but rather a full dive into minstrel depictions instead. 

Kevin is shown as sympathetic but also struggling, he is a victim, but he is also harsh. He is struggling with addiction that gets enabled by the other people around him who don’t know a better way to help. He has an arc, he learns to grow, he gets the tattoo, he talks to Wymack, he fights with Dan, he speaks to Jean, he scores the last point on the winning game, he learns to stand up to Riko. He develops in the books, and is one of the 3 main characters, Neil, Andrew, and Kevin. 

I think the fandom definitely focuses mostly on Andrew and Neil, which is unsurprising since they're the main pairing and get the most development and attention by the author as well. But the nature of fandom and fanfiction typically is to have all the background characters act as overly invested props to get the main paring ending up together. That's just kinda the way fanfiction typically goes. Kevin still largely is a character with his own thing going on, often recovery or dating other people or grumbling in the background with his own thoughts, in fics a lot more than any of the other characters in AFTG who aren't Andrew and Neil. I don’t think Kevin gets excessively ‘mistreated’ either, I think he gets a lot of the similar flattening out of his character we see a lot in general in fandom, whether its for a joke post or a fic.

#ask #anti semitism tw #racism tw #homophobia tw #Stereotyping tw #mailob #fandom culture #fandom psychology

[potteresque-ire]

Is Cho Chang a Racist Stereotype? - [2] Her House

Another very long post (this time Confucius comes to say hello). My thoughts are under the cut.

Once again, this isn’t a JKR discussion. This is my 2nd post on whether I think it’s fair to call Cho Chang a racist stereotype. The 1st one is here.

My short answer is still no.

Another critique I’ve seen of Cho Chang’s portrayal is that she was a Ravenclaw, which fit into the “smart Asian” stereotype.

But what, exactly, is “Ravenclaw smart” and “Asian smart”? I think it’s worth investigating. Intelligence comes in many forms, and the allegation would only be valid if the two kinds of “smart” are equivalent.

Here’s what the books and JKR, via Pottermore, have said about “Ravenclaw smart”:

“if you've a ready mind, Where those of wit and learning, Will always find their kind;”

“Wit beyond measure is man’s greatest treasure.”

“…our people are the most individual – some might even call them eccentrics. But geniuses are often out of step with ordinary folk…” 

"Most of the greatest wizarding inventors and innovators were in our house…”

The day-to-day illustration of “Ravenclaw smart” was the answering of riddles to enter the common room. A good answer was “well-reasoned”, and it was known that the door would refuse to open until such an answer was provided, which sometimes led to long discussions outside the common room by the locked-out students. Another manifestation of “Ravenclaw smart” was described as going “full-nerd” on a subject that wasn’t necessarily practical or popular (ovomancy was the example given on Pottermore).

Since “wit” was such a heavily used word in Ravenclaw’s description, I looked up its definition as well.

* Intelligence and the ability to think quickly (Cambridge dictionary) * Mental sharpness and inventiveness; keen intelligence; a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humour (Google) * The ability to relate seemingly disparate things so as to illuminate or amuse (Merriam Webster) * Wit is the ability to use words or ideas in an amusing, clever, and imaginative way. (Collins)

My understanding of “Ravenclaw smart” from this info is: the ability to connect dots freely and nimbly. Social norms and expectations are noted, but happily disregarded if they get in the way. “Ravenclaw smart” is by nature argumentative and open-ended. It expects the dot-connecting to lead to places, but doesn’t have a specific place in mind; all endpoints are valid and welcomed as long as they’re logically sound. The strength of “Ravenclaw smart” is it leads to revolutionary innovations; its tendency to unbridle itself from social needs and expectations, however, can lead to amoral/immoral behaviour (Lockhart). The wisdom from “Ravenclaw smart” is also in danger of being ignored or misunderstood when its owner makes insufficient effort to make it comprehensible, or accessible to others (Luna, and likely, Rowena Ravenclaw.)

Those who’ve studied under an East Asian education system (especially in the 90s), or those who’re familiar with those systems, probably know by now where this discussion is leading to.

“Ravenclaw smart” isn’t “Asian smart”. It’s … about the opposite of Asian smart.

What is “Asian smart”? Outside this discussion, any kind of intelligence. But here, I’ll restrict it to the kind of smartness that leads to the racist allegation, the kind of Westerners typically associate with East Asian students (such as Cho Chang, who, for the sake of simplicity, I’ll assume is Chinese from this point on; however, the arguments will likely still stand if she was, for example, Korean, for reasons that will be clear later on). The kind of smartness that is good at math, that gets the highest scores in exams and seems to understand everything. Never asks questions, never makes trouble.

"Asian smart” sounds great. But what if I suggest the following “dark sides” to it?

1) Good at math: with practice, lower level maths are likely to require the least reasoning among school subjects, with their unambiguous, close-ended answers. A child who has done 7x9 enough times no longer need to calculate or think through the logic of their answer. They write down what they’ve memorised by repetition — 63 — and get full score.

2) High scorer: does everything as told. Prioritise the wishes of authority (teachers, parents) above everything else.

3) Seems to understand everything, never asks questions: views knowledge as “model answers” to be regurgitated in exams. Whether it makes sense doesn’t matter.

These are very cynical takes, aren’t they? I’ve cast in these students in a very negative light.

But what if this negative light isn’t negative at all if these students have stayed in the land of their ancestors? What if these “cynical takes” were considered virtues for the budding Chinese scholars of old?

What if “Asian smart” is purely a consequence of history and culture?

First of all, if you ask “Asian smart” students and they’re honest with you, most would tell you that their smartness isn’t the product of miracles or extra brain juice. Some would say it’s not even intelligence. It is the direct result of extra hours spent at the desk.

What is their motivation? Are Chinese children simply born to be extra hardworking?

Perhaps it’s their so-called “tiger moms”? If then, are Chinese moms born more … feline?

The answers, as you may expect, are no, Chinese aren’t born any different from other races. Their drive to study can largely be explained by an ancient, nation-wide exam system known as the imperial examination system (Ke-Ju, 科舉), plus a dude with a name of Confucius.

Many are aware that Chinese have long considered scholastic aptitude as important. But how long is long? The answer: 1.4 millennia. The imperial examination system, or Ke-Ju, began in 605 AD and while the system had evolved over time, the gist of it was this: students participated in locals exams and the “winners” moved up to the county, then provincial levels etc, until the students who’d won all previous exams sat for the final one in the capital palace, at times proctored by the Emperor, where the grand winners would be decided. The Ke-Ju system was essential in shaping Chinese’s attitude towards academic achievements, because the final top 3 winners, regardless of birth, would be hired by the Imperial Court (+ in some cases, get to marry a princess!).

Ancient Chinese studied and studied and studied for that reason; Ke-Ju was one of the very few social ladders available to commoners, who mostly lived in poverty. The Chinese folklore-scape has therefore been filled with “inspirational” stories about how people overcame exceptionally challenging studying conditions (like this one) to become successful in some way.

How, exactly, does Ke-Ju shape the traditional Chinese view towards studying and education?

1) Historically, Chinese views studying as a means to a better life. The pursuit of knowledge was secondary. The modern analogy to studying hard in ancient China is working three part-time jobs to pay the mortgage for a house, and there is, in fact, a famous Chinese idiom that reflects this: 書中自有黃金屋 (“In the books, there is a golden house”). According to the poem (勸學詩) where the idiom came from (written by an Emperor, by the way: 宋真宗, ~ 1000 BCE), other things found in books included high wages paid in food, beauties, chariots and horses. All practical stuff.

2) Because of 1), getting high scores, or “winning” the exams, was seen as the paramount goal of studying. Far less emphasis was put on understanding the exam material. The teachers of ancient Chinese schools (私塾) were known for doing little explaining; instead, they made recite passages and expected them to figure out the meanings by themselves later. The attitude that scores are everything was further fuelled by the fact that the Emperor had the final say on the result of Ke-Ju — the Emperor who’d most probably claimed the throne by genetics and was not always the most intelligent or knowledgable. While the ability to formulate well-researched and well-reasoned answers helped tremendously, the most important skill for the final Ke-Ju winner was, therefore, the ability to guess what the Emperor wanted to hear, and sometimes, what they wanted to see (there were instances where the Emperor swapped the rankings because they found the original victor too ugly).  

ie. The most important skill was to know the Emperor’s Answer, and to be able to frame it as the winner’s own perspective even if the winner didn’t, in reality, believe in a single word of it.

3) The tradition of having an “Emperor’s Answer” means its modern equivalent, having an “one and only” model answer, have remained the norm in education systems in many Chinese-speaking communities. Many educators have asked for reforms, argued that model answers discourage independent thinking and creativity, but teachers have also been trained on model answers and they’re often unsure of their own opinions, and at times, fearful that they’ll pass on a “wrong” perspective to their students. The latter is especially true in places under authoritarian rule, where school lessons must follow closely the regime’s propaganda (which can be vastly different from year to year).

You may wonder then: but certainly, the students would revolt. How could children learn in such a stifling environment for so long?

This is where Confucius (孔丘, 551-478 BC) comes in. The education system is only a slice of a culture where authority is not to be questioned, where silence is seen as a virtue even among the youngest of children.

Many may know Confucius to be a philosopher, but he was also a political advisor and not a very popular one. I’ve half-jokingly summed up his slogan as “Make China Great Again”, as he lamented his era for having lost the social etiquette and order of several centuries before, and he was set on bringing them back. He researched on rites and rituals that were already old for his time, postulating that every detail of how people behaved around each other would affect social harmony. Social order, he believed, could be achieved by people respecting and obeying their elders, not only in their thoughts but also in their day-to-day behaviour, which was to be bound with a set of intricate rules that dictated their word choices, actions and even postures according to the situation and kinship between the interacting individuals (a fun video here showing a Confucian rite, including the sheer variety of Confucian bows). The elders would, in return, take care of those with less authority than they had, share with them their wisdom.

Confucius also believed that harmony of the world could be achieved by self-discipline from the base level of the society to the top. In this “discipline pyramid”, individuals sat at the bottom. The discipline of families came above it, in which elder generations of each family reined in the rebellious younger ones, made each family a true unit where its members were unified in thoughts and actions. The nation (government) then exerted its authority on families and cured their conflicts — to drive this point home, the term 父母官 has remained in use in China today, which likens the government officials (官) to parents (父母) and constituents to children who should listen to their parents (imagine someone likening Boris Johnson, or Donald Trump, as your father). Finally, the world, with the Emperor as its ruler, smothers the insurgences among nations to achieve the ultimate order and harmony. (修身、齊家、治國、平天下).

Confucius did put a big asterisk in his theory. For this “discipline pyramid” to work, the asterisk said, the Emperor who’d establish the final world order must be a good one. The problem was: most Emperors thought they were pretty good. Confucius’ philosophy appealed to them because the Emperor sat at the pinnacle of this power structure, and as each level ruled over the one below, the lowest level — the individual commoners — had so many constraints piled on them that their individuality was stripped. This made governing much easier.

And so, while Confucius’ political theories were not particularly popular during his lifetime, Confucianism became the official school of philosophy for Chinese imperial courts after ~100 BC. China’s immense power in the ancient world meant Confucianism also became the prominent school of philosophy in its sphere of influence, which included, among others, the modern nations of Japan, S. Korea and Vietnam, all of which also held their own versions of Ke-Ju.

(Hence, this post would very likely remain valid if Cho Chang was Korean.)

In addition to locating talents among commoners, the Ke-Ju system further cemented Confucianism as the “proper” school of thought because it required the students to learn Confucian texts. These students, who would also become disseminators of knowledge outside the Imperial Court, would bring Confucianism to the commoners who’d practise it as well, as a display of cultured upbringing, in the hopes that their descendants would one day know it well enough to enter the Imperial Court. The discipline pyramid soon infiltrated every aspect of Chinese culture, and Confucianism became Imperial China’s tool for reinforcing social hierarchy and a social stabilizer. It remained revered in all levels of the Chinese society until, during the Cultural Revolution (1966-76), the Red Guards, with the blessings of Mao Ze-Dong, made an all out-attack on Confucian values and while remnants of them have survived in China’s social fabric, they’re largely in tatters (As a result, the best places to observe the legacy of Confucianism nowadays are in Japan, S. Korea and Taiwan.)

Back to the “Asian smart”. “Asian smart” was an impression built from students who were (children of) recent immigrants from Confucianism-influenced communities. Students who’d been educated in the tradition of those who’d sat in the ancient schools, their backs ramrod straight and spoken only when called, their mouths opening only to satisfy the teachers’ requests because teachers were the authority in the classroom and never to be questioned. Students who’d expected an Emperor’s Answer to every exam question, the answer that was, always, the final word. Students who’d studied hard because golden houses could be found in the books.

This “Asian smart” is as different as can be from “Ravenclaw smart”. Asian smart is quiet and unquestioning, while Ravenclaw smart challenges and argues. Asian smart views knowledge as a servant of society, while Ravenclaw smart sees knowledge, and the pursuit thereof, as lording over social expectations. Asian smart is about reinforcing social order while Ravenclaw smart is about breaking the mould. Asian smart has groomed the establishment for over a thousand years while Ravenclaw smart has nurtured eccentrics.

Of note, this disparity between the two “smarts” doesn’t mean one is superior to another. Our current pandemic has made a case for Confucian collectivism; individuals in E. Asian countries have shown themselves to be more willing to sacrifice personal freedoms and aesthetics for the sake of their communities, more comfortable at obeying new rules despite the questions of their need have yet be answered satisfactorily by science, and the benefits of these attitudes have been reflected in the case and death counts. The pandemic has also reminded us of the importance of knowledge that serves society (for example, epidemiological research, vaccine development, contact tracing), even if it’s not always the most exciting. Healthcare is a discipline that requires a “no ifs and buts, no matter how well-reasoned” attitude towards certain rules (how to put on and remove PPEs, for example).

Anyway, I digressed! The conclusion I have, after so many words, is this: Cho Chang being assigned Ravenclaw isn’t racist stereotyping, as some have alleged. I can appreciate where the allegation comes from. The common association with intelligence aside, many sorting tests have also tied academic achievements to Ravenclaw, even though Ravenclaws were never described as book smart in the series. But the allegation doesn’t hold up well after an investigation into the way Ravenclaw House was written, and the kind of smartness Cho Chang was expected to have if it was, indeed, race-based.

It doesn’t mean, I’d like to note, that some Asians aren’t being unfairly judged because parts of our society still hold the false impression that our racial group are somehow born to excel in academics or any work where maths are involved. I understand—I truly do—the frustrations of having one’s accomplishments belittled, attributed to a quirk in the DNA that doesn’t exist. I’ve, too, had to certify that my Mom is 100% human, free of the tiger too many times.

But the HP books cannot be blamed for that, and the longer the blame is placed on something that doesn’t deserve it, the longer the focus, and effort is shifted away from the actual problem and its potential solutions. The time and words spent on such “call-outs” can be better spent, I believe, by explaining how the misconception of “smart Asians” can affect real people like you and me.

And like Cho Chang, perhaps, if we love to think about the HP world. If her classmates wondered why she wasn’t the top of her class for her year, why she wasn’t famously book-smart like Hermione Granger to win them some house points. Why did she sign up for Quidditch? Why would any Asian, never mind a tiny, fragile E. Asian girl like her, even think about touching sports? Shouldn’t she be studying? Learning advanced arithmancy even though their OWLS were still a year away?

And Cho would come back to the common room hours later, flushed with sweat and smiling, and announced that she’d made seeker.

#pie metas #cho chang #ravenclaw

[insomniac-dot-ink]

The Long Bus Ride

Genre: supernatural horror

Words: 5.6k

Summary: When her late night bus stops in the middle of a rolling fog cloud Frieda starts to worry. Then she starts seeing words being written in the condensation on her window and she truly gets unnerved.

A group of strangers must now try to get through the night as something seems to be outside.

content warning: body horror

---------

The bus was mostly empty that evening. That was typical with rising fares and the fact most people would have tried to be home hours ago. It was too early for the late night party crowd and too late for the normal working crowd.

The bus driver was a big guy named Ted, I knew him by his portly size and baby-smooth clean shaven face. He had youthful thick brown hair grown a little long probably for vanity’s sake and a large pot belly that sagged over the shiny tight black belt around his waist.

He always nodded at me when I got on and always stopped for people when they were running to catch the 431. He wasn’t always on time like the other bus driver-- Nory, but he also honked his horn a little less than him too.

I flashed my bus pass at Ted that evening with our usual nod and a lingering achy bitterness settling in my core. Deirdre’s daughter had come to visit again that afternoon and there was always too much nasty energy in the house on those days. I liked to keep things neat, both personally and professionally. I kept my purse organized into tiny pockets and my clothes sorted in bins by season and I never mentioned anything personal at my job.

Everything had its place, but it was harder to be politely indifferent to the household when they were throwing barbed words at each and asking my opinion. It bothered me to have to be anything other than “day nurse Frieda” to them. It blurred our relationship when they turned to me and said “tell my mother she needs to finalize her will” and so on.

Of course, Deirdre should and did need to finalize her will, but expressing that broke far too many boundaries in a messy way. 

I was ready to be home an hour ago by the time I walked to the bus stop with the sun already carefully nestled behind the city skyline. The purple of a gloomy summer night was heavy across the horizon and I didn’t even both to check my phone watch. I knew my Friday night was almost already over.

My feet ached as I turned to walk down the aisle of the 431 bus headed to Oakland. My chin was sinking toward my chest like a balloon tug insistently downward by a toddler. An older man sat near the front.

He was a skinny, wiry man with a thick mustache and clothes with spots of what I hoped was motor oil on his patterned button-up and workman pants. He wore heavy boots and watched me with small eyes under enormous eyebrows that could have probably watched me as well for the sheer size of them. He had no bags or anything with him and he sat like there was a drill sergeant ready to bark at him if he so much as slouched a little.

No one else sat in the seats near the front designated for the elderly and pregnant. The seats themselves were blue and yellow with party designs on them like you might see at a tacky bowling alley. It was an older bus that hadn’t even been upgraded to “green” standards yet and rumbled like a thunder storm wherever it went.

In the middle seats was a mother and child. She was a middle-aged black woman with long beaded braids tied back in a ponytail and wore a bright pink shirt and a slouchy pair of comfortable looking jeans. Her daughter looked around 9 or 10 and had her hair pulled back in a tight bun at the top of her head. She wore a hoodie over what looked like leggings and carried a sports bag with her.

The mother was probably picking her up from something like ballet practice. The daughter was leaning on the mom while she absently stroked her head and looked out the window. Something about the easy intimacy of it made me look away quickly.

One seat up and across from the mother and daughter was a gently snoring man. He had a wild beard, knit cap, and fingerless gloves. I could tell by the smell alone that he was homeless and had probably been sleeping on the bus for hours now. However, I had smelled worse and his jacket and jeans weren’t as grungy or disheveled as they could have been.

Two other people sat in the back, but luckily neither of them had claimed the final spot in the corner of the bus near the window. A young woman was one chair ahead of my seat, a short white girl who looked around college age. I wrinkled my nose at her because she was holding a paper cup with what I assumed was coffee and her hands were shaking.

She had on a long skirt with mud splotches at the bottom and a pale blue shirt with a mustard stain on the front. Her long auburn hair was tied back into a ratty knot at the back of her neck. She had on huge glasses dangerously close to the edge of her nose and she was staring out the window with the look of someone trying to count the yellow street lines and failing.

Across from her in the other corner of the bus was a high-school aged looking young man with a huge bag blocking the seat next to him. He was Asian with ink-black hair that he had spiked, and wore all black with dark ripped jeans and a band t-shirt. His ears were covered by silver earrings draped over the lobes like angry criss-crossing Christmas decorations.

He had a tattoo of what appeared to be a wing on his neck and smeared eyeliner around his indifferent gaze. He was wearing small earbuds and listening to something with an audible thrumming base.

I ignored both the messy girl and the punk boy as I took my seat and got out my book for the forty minute ride home. It was another pirate romance story-- which my sister recommended because she assumed she knew my taste. The action scenes were fine, but the actual tension between the main couple was blase at best.

I had to make sure no one sat behind me during my bus rides home though because I didn’t need anyone looking over my shoulder and finding the words “he touched my wet throbbing womanhood.” To say the least, the erotic parts of the novels were not that good either.

It was better than scrolling my phone right then though. I hated work emails more than I hated mud trailed onto the carpet in my house or slow-walkers on the sidewalk.

I peeked out the windows sometimes to get a look at the city as the street lights and building lights and headlights erupted one by one in a pale cascade. We were getting closer to the Oakland Bay bridge and the lights threaded along the beams like spiderwebs of frantic energy all captured and blooming at once. I had an affection for the city despite being trapped there.

I hadn’t actually come to California to be a geriatric nurse again. I already spent ten years working as one in Louisiana when an old college friend had called me up and asked if I wanted to join his startup. It sounded like a fairy tale: join an up and coming tech company and watch as you get boosted past “middle class” into something glamorous and decadent. Kitt knew me and knew I was good with people and offered to let me run the PR department.

Of course, I hadn’t joined for the money or the fact I was that interested in PR. I had been working in a nursing home for almost a decade by then and it had started to wear on me. I liked listening to people, especially people who were made of stories, and the job had originally suited me fine. But there was this… shadow over it all that started to eat at me.

A shadow of loss, of empty words, empty places where a sharp mind used to be, empty reassurances that meant nothing, brief glimpses of grief so intense that it split people in two. That shadow loomed larger and larger the longer I stayed. It chased me as my favorite grandma’s hands started to shake and my favorite patient stopped being able to play piano. I saw it in how some of them stopped meeting my eyes when the months dragged on and their time was coming. I saw in the way they stopped remembering my name or their own.

No. I didn’t want to work as an elderly care nurse any longer.

Of course, I was also 33 and single, and a change sounded good. So I moved all the way across the country, got the smallest apartment I had ever lived in, and dared to be a little bold. I wore brighter colors, spoke out more in meetings, cooked spicier foods, I went on dates with women for the first time.

But all good things come to an end. Most startups don’t make it, no matter how many twitter algorithms you try to “hack.”

I looked out the window and ignored my phone as it buzzed. There were other reasons I didn’t check my phone on the bus as well. Cynthia still wanted to meet now and then-- to see if we could make it work after all. I ignored the buzz.

I was lost to the erotic adventures of a very loud and very incompetent heroine when I heard a soft gasp come from in front of me. I usually had a rule of ignoring everyone else on public transport, but there was something about the sharp surprised sound that made me look up.

We were on the bridge now and it was damp and dark out. I blinked a couple times as I noticed a thick cloud seeming to descend. Fog was all but normal in San Francisco so I decided to go back to reading my book.

A small murmur passed between the daughter and mother in the middle of the bus, “it’s alright…” 

I looked up again and the cloud was quickly eating up the view and making the road ahead look shrouded and strange. Cars around us had already turned on their headlights and I could almost feel the bus slowing down as visibility ahead quickly disappeared.

I wrinkled my brow. I didn’t know much about weather, but we usually only saw fog like this in the mornings. I looked to the other side of the road and noticed that I didn’t see any cars coming toward us.

“Look mom,” I heard a small voice say and the little girl was pointing out toward the ocean. I tried to look out the window and make out the sea too, but only saw that same thick white. It was dense and shapeless around us and the bus was slowing down further.

“Where are the lights?” I snapped my head around and the punk kid had taken his earbuds out. His face was even more stony than before and his eyes were narrowed toward where the bridge would be. 

I set my jaw as I realized I didn’t see any of the glowing yellow lights that should be at least breaking through parts of the fog. Even worse, I checked ahead of us and behind, I had never known the Oakland bridge to ever be empty.

There were no more cars on either side of us.

I gulped. The bus was almost at a standstill.

“Hey!” The messy college girl holding the coffee called up from the back. “What’s going on?”

“Yeah, what’s the meaning of this? We’ve all got places to be.” The working class man stood up at the front.

Ted the driver didn’t turn around and there was something about his figure that sat wrong.

“Where the fuck are the lights?” The punk kid was standing up now and craning his neck to look outside.

“Excuse me, sir, is there a problem?” The mother had dragged her daughter into her lap and the little girl was looking directly out the window at something with the utmost focus.

I shifted uncomfortably in place and watched the scene unfold. Something cold was trailing down my spine. I liked to keep things neat, and this felt like it was about to pick up my wardrobe and dump it outside onto my muddy lawn.

A couple voices kept demanding to know why we had stopped, and the homeless man somehow kept dozing. “Ooh,” the little girl touched the window and suddenly my eyes were drawn back to my own window.

The fog was dense to the point of nothingness, and beyond the fog seemed to be an even thicker night. I furrowed my brow and drew back into myself. Condensation was gathering on the other side of the window-- the type you might see when your warm breath touches glass.

A thin layer of white was spreading across the window and then I saw what the young girl was “oohing” at.

“Everyone, step back from the windows.” I heard myself saying, reasonably, in as a controlled manner as I could.

Little droplets had now formed on the other side of the glass and the white haze was thick and tangible. That’s not why I jumped back though. A perfectly formed fingerprint was pressed into the condensation there. A clear oval that was dragging down, down, down the window and creating one long, straight line.

There was nothing behind that finger. There was no body or hand or anything attached at all. Only the imprint that was meticulously drawing downward.

“What the fuck?!” The punk kid scrambled back from his window as well.

“What’s going on?” The college student said in a panic as more little finger tips pressed against the glass. Hands, but not hands. My heart squeezed in my chest and a flurry of possibilities went through my head: I was in a coma, I was asleep, I was asleep in a coma. I was dead.

I was dead and hell is a bus ride.

“Ah!” I jerked my head around again and saw the old man in heavy work pants standing by the front with his mouth wide and eyes as round as silver dollars. He was staring at the bus driver in the way one stares at their parents declaring a divorce.

“Ted…” I muttered and forced myself forward. I wrapped my hands around the bus poles with each step and the metal was almost freezing at each touch. I stumbled across the long space.

“Mommy, what is it?” The window next to the little ballerina was absolutely covered in those floating strokes carefully applied by invisible fingers. They were drawing spirals and zig-zags and something that I dearly hoped wasn’t a letter of the alphabet.

I made my way past the sleeping homeless man who still managed not to wake and all the way to the front of the bus where the old man was staring at Ted.

“He’s-He’s--” He stuttered at me and fell back against a metal pole next to the door. 

“It’s alright, I’m a nurse.” I took a deep steadying breath. I had seen corpses plenty of times in my life and I knew how to keep myself focused on the tasks in front of me. Ted was slumped over and unmoving.

I reached for his arm first and picked up his limp wrist. I exhaled the second I reached his pulse and felt a faint thrum there. His skin was clammy and far too cold, but he was breathing. “Don’t look at the eyes.” The old man grabbed my shoulder. “Don’t look!”

I was never very good at averting my eyes when facing car crashes or jump scares in horror movies. He had a pulse. I needed to check for head injuries. I glanced at his face. Something was dripping down his cheeks in a steady flow.

I reached and tipped his chin up. I swallowed my scream before it could escape. His eyes were gummed shut with something black and bubbling. It was like tar that held both of his eyelids clamped closed and water was leaking out of the seams.

Droplets beaded down his cheeks and when I let his head fall again it leaked like rain down upon his lap. I stopped myself from heaving at the sight and looked downward. His foot was still on the gas, but we weren’t moving forward.

“Let’s go.” I ushered the old man away from Ted’s body. Something told me we shouldn’t touch it or be too close to it. We retreated back toward the other seats.

“E,” the little girl was tracing a letter in the condensation. Something outside was writing the letter E and then another letter next to it. “N.”

I walked down the center of the bus in a daze and the others looked at me. The disheveled college student stumbled toward us. “Is the driver alright?” I just shook my head and couldn’t find the words to explain that one of us was surely dreaming up a nightmare. 

The punk kid was sitting in the center of the back seats clutching his bag to his chest and his earbuds were back in.

“Little girl.” A voice barked. I turned and suddenly I noticed that the homeless man had sat up and his clear blue eyes were darting around the space frantically. “Don’t touch the windows.” His voice was deep and smoke-beaten. “Again, again, again.” He repeated, “Don’t touch. Again.”

I looked back to the shapes being drawn in the window panes. 

They were impossibly strange, but no sounds came from the drag of their fingers. In fact, I didn’t pick up any noises from the city at all: no honking, no sirens, no hums of life. I groped for the right words to try to make sense of this.

“Little girl!” The homeless man said sharply and he looked toward the closest window. “Don’t.” “Sheryl…” Her mother warned, but the little girl, Sheryl, kept tracing the letters the Things were drawing.

I watched in a trance, “T.” She said softly. “E.” I was watching the tip of her finger move when I caught the first glimpse.

My whole body froze like a jolt of ice pouring down my spine. Just beyond the invisible hand was a face submerged in the fog-- faint and shifting. It was hard to make out, but two black eyes drooped like runny eggs down it’s sunken cheeks and a mouth grotesquely frozen in a scream took shape for just a moment.

I grabbed for the mother, “everyone!” I found the energy to fill my words with urgency, “get away from the windows!” They all looked to me and I mustered every bit of my authority, “NOW!”

Reluctant shuffling followed. “Wait!” Sheryl protested as her mom picked her up and carried her to the center of the bus. “Wait!” She repeated, “it wasn’t finished.”

The fingers outside became more frantic as we retreated into the center of the bus as far away from the windows as we could get. They clawed and dragged and I could make out more and more faces, some with three fingers and some with seven. Faint outlines of the hands and faces morphed and danced just out in the darkness.

They never stood still or seemed to stop shifting and twisting as if unnaturally alive.

A shudder went through the small group as we huddled together like penguins being accosted by the arctic breeze. The punk boy was the last to reach us as he clung to his huge bag and entered the loose circle we created.

The old man was shifty-eyed and looked the most on edge. I kept an eye on him, as well as the homeless man who was hunched over into himself. “Again,” he muttered to himself. “Again.” The moments after we gathered were long and strained before anyone dared to speak and break the ghastly immense silence. “Something was wrong with the driver,” the old man finally announced as he looked to the fingers, “something is wrong here.” “Very wrong.” The college student echoed.

“Duh,” The pink kid said back with his teeth clenched.

“Perhaps it will be over soon.” I added softly, mostly speaking to myself.

“What’s everyone’s names?” I looked up as the homeless man finally broke himself upright again.

“What? Why?” The old man practically growled.

“Everyone here has got to have a name.” The homeless man’s blue eyes were still frantic and traveling faster than I thought they should back and forth across the space. “Got to have a name.”

“How do we know that will--” “Angela.” The mother spoke up. “And this is Sheryl. Have you seen this before?” She looked to him as if he must often see buses descend into hell before.

“I’m Rick.” He said without hesitating, “Angela, Sheryl,” he pointed to the college student as if to pose a question.

“Laura.” She said softly. Her hands were still shaking, but probably for different reasons now.

“Angela, Sheryl, Laura,” Rick almost sang and then prompted the old man to speak.

“I’m Drew.” The old man said hesitantly after a moment.

“And I’m Frieda.” I added as the punk kid spoke as well.

“I’m Jinu.” 

A silence spread and I didnt know what I expected to happen from swapping names with a group of strangers. Sheryl was frowning deeply. She whispered, “We shouldn’t have left where they can see us.”

That made me look back to the people I was stuck with and I opened my mouth to ask Sheryl if she was alright.

Bring

We jumped as one when a sudden and angry sound crackled and shook the space. 

Bring, bring

It was like the sound of an old phone back from the 90s. A classic, angry noise that ate up the whole area with its loud buzzing undertone.

Bring!

I felt my pocket and felt something vibrating there.

“It’s our phones…” Jinu said in a hush.

My phone was ringing. And I knew we were being hailed.

Bring, bring, bring

I felt sick.

Laura was the first to dig out her phone from her bright yellow purse and hold it in her hands.

Bring, bring

The iphone vibrated and almost shook its way out of her hands. It’s screen was completely black and something, something was making it ring. “What’s,” I couldn’t contain the question any longer. “What’s causing this?” No one answered me. Drew took out his phone next, a first generation android it looked like with a cracked screen that was just as black as the last one. Slowly, everyone except for Rick, extracted our phones and watched as they made the same cry together over and over again: bring, bring, bring, bring, bring.

I stared into the shiny black surface of mine. It was perfectly smooth and almost… too dark. A dark I had never seen before and reflected nothing back. It felt like it was eating the light up.

“Maybe,” Laura spoke up. “Maybe we could call the police.”

“It’s a little late for that honey.” Angela said with a forlorn sigh.

“Why are they ringing?” I asked dumbly.

“We shouldn’t answer.” Jinu growled and tossed his phone all the way to the other side of the bus.

Rick nodded, “Do. Not. Answer.” “But…” I frowned deeply. “We can’t stay here.” “We can’t answer either.” Rick said in his same husky, withered tone. Drew nodded and threw his phone away, I followed suit mostly to stop looking at the shiny blackness of the screen. Angela seemed to almost break hers as she chucked it away as well, and Laura was the last one. She gripped it tightly and looked up.

“What do you think those are?” She finally voiced our fears and looked back to the fingers and morphed faces. “Are they… are they what’s calling us?” I shrugged, “does it matter?” I glared, “we can’t risk it. Throw it away.” “What happened to the driver?” Laura whispered and I just shook my head. She threw her phone away.

We all looked at each other carefully, and then we waited.

--------

Time ticked by with an anonymous meaningless face. On some level I think most of us expected to wake up soon, or for the sun to rise or to have God yelled “pranked!” from somewhere up in the sky. At least, that’s what I was waiting for.

The bus was still, just as cold and faceless as before, immobile as it had ever been. Alone in the middle of the bridge and alone in no place at all. I had a switch knife I carried around that I now held in my clenched fists and the world stood still.

Empty, except for the constant, unending sound of the phones: bring, bring, bring. They chorused and buzzed on the other side of the bus as we huddled in the center. It was endless. People did what they could to distract themselves from their impossible voices. 

Jinu put his headphones back in and turned them all the way up. Laura covered her ears with both hands and rocked back and forth in a ball. Rick gazed unseeingly up at the ceiling with a deep frown on his face. Drew was drawing something on his palm as if doing math equations on his skin.

I distracted myself by talking to the mother and daughter. “You want to be a prima ballerina when you grow up?” I asked softly as I watched Sheryl’s small face. Angela was still stroking her daughter’s head and holding her close as the minutes ticked by.

Bring, bring

“I want to dance in The Swan Lake,” she said factually. “I’m not good enough yet, but I will be.” I beamed. “I believe you.”

Bring, bring

“What do you do?” Angela asked and there was something forced about it.

“Nurse.” I said simply. “Though I came here for an app startup of all things.” 

“Oh?”

Bring, bring, bring I wasn’t usually one for idle-chit-chat, but a damp coldness was working its way through my chest. I had already noticed that Laura was shivering fiercely.

“Yeah, we were going to change the world or something he said,” I rolled my eyes, “but it didn’t turn out that way of course.”

“What kind of app was it?” Sheryl was still looking to her window, but she seemed present enough. 

“Oh, a ride sharing one. It was supposed to be a public minded service called ‘Democracy Bus.’ It was meant to help people get to the polls on voting days for free or get to civil rally's or debate parties,” I shook my head. “It never got off the ground.” Angela opened her mouth to respond, but seemed to be drained of some force within her.

Bring, bring

“That settles it.” Drew stood up with a hardened look on his face. “If I run I might make it to the other side of the bridge in a few minutes.” He nodded, “we were more than halfway to the other side by the time we stopped.”

We openly stared at the old man. Jinu took his headphones out, and Laura uncurled herself. Rick kept looking at the ceiling.

Bring, bring, bring

My mouth became a hard line, “We don’t want to let any of those things in here…” I whispered.

Drew dusted himself off, “I only need someone to pull the door open for a second. And beside,” his lips curled up, “we can’t exactly stay here and starve.” My skin prickled and I didn’t mention the fact I hadn’t felt hungry since the moment we stopped. I hadn’t felt thirsty either, or anything at all. Just cold. And damp.

“We’re not going out there.” Angela hissed first. “It’s too much of a risk.” She held her daughter tighter to her.

“Does anyone else have any ideas then?” Drew seethed. We were quiet.

Bring, bring

“Maybe we should answer one.” Laura said again, “just to see what happens.” She cocked her head to the side, “maybe they’ll let us go.”

“That sounds like an even worse idea than his.” Jinu said flatly.

“Don’t. Answer. The. Phones.” Rick finally joined the conversation and haltingly declared.

“Why not?” Drew narrowed his eyes icily, “What do you know?” Rick looked back up to the ceiling and set his jaw. Drew took a menacing step toward him, “What does he know?!”

“Oh,” Sheryl pointed, “Look. They’re trying again... E.” I looked up just in time to see the fingers all in one motion write the letter “E” over and over again on each window. I swallowed thickly. “We should all cover our eyes.” I announced, “We need to wait this out.”

Bring, bring, bring! Drew shook his head. “We just gotta open the door for a moment. I’ll go get help.” Angela looked like she was ready to pounce on him. “I told you! It’s too risky, there’s children aboard.”

“A child who keeps trying to communicate with them!”

The fingers were now writing “N” over and over again on every surface of the windows that there were. “N” She read softly.

“Guys,” I repeated and my voice rose, “I think we should cover our eyes.” “T,” Sheryl muttered and I dove for her first.

“Cover your eyes!” I screeched and slapped a hand over her gaze so that she couldn’t read it anymore.

Bring, bring!

“This is crazy!” Jinu started stumbling backward away from the group.

“Don’t leave us!” I reached for him as well.

“No!” Rick shouted, “I told you not to!”

I turned just on time to see Laura crawling toward her phone. She pressed on the screen with one finger and brought it to her face, “hello?” “E.” Sheryl said as my fingers slipped and the whole world came crashing down around us.

“Get back! Get away from her!” Rick pushed the three of us he could reach toward the back of the bus. Jinu let out a wordless scream and Drew reached for Laura.

“Young lady?” Laura’s face was completely contorted as she stood up. Her mouth opened in a grotesque snarl as her jaw jutted out awkwardly to the side. Her eyes were lifeless and started to leak drips of water down her cheeks.

She moved all at once-- like strings were unevenly tied to her knees. She took one jerky, tin step forward and then another.

“Drew,” I hissed and reached for him. “Get back.” “She’s so young,” he muttered. “She’s so young. Can you hear me?” The water was running down Laura’s cheeks like a faucet now and I couldn’t look away as her eyes sunk into their sockets. The white disappeared first into some unseen blackness. I pulled Drew back with all my physical strength and Laura took another step forward.

Could we fight her? Could we fight these things?

I took my knife out and slashed the air in front of us as she took her unpleasant, rigid steps forward. Her eyes had all but sunken into her head and her hanging mouth was now dripping water that smelled of something like mold and damp earth.

“Stay back,” I hissed and slashed the air again. “I’ll kill you.” To my surprise she turned. She faced one of the windows, the one that Sheryl has been sitting at only hours before back in the sunlight world. She touched the glass tentatively and the fingers repeated their last letter over and over again. Sheryl said a final ringing letter, “R.” ENTER.

I hugged myself and held my breath, bracing for the worst.

The windows did not break open though and the distorted faces did not slither inward. Laura got up onto the seat and started pressing into the window. Her eyes were completely gone and her ears and mouth and eyes were all steadily running over with streams of water.

It was wrong. It was hard to watch as she hands pressed gradually through the glass in an impossible manner.

It was a slow and painful process as she joined the mist. Hands grabbed her and pulled at her, her hair came loose and fell down her shoulders, and one of the people beside me started sobbing.

“It’s taking her…”

Someone started humming, Jinu I think. It was a sad and reluctant song that carried soberingly through the space. He hummed a funeral march just as she was tugged through the window and off into the white expanse with no name.

Our phones stopped ringing all at once and the fog began to lift as if in a dream. The next procession was mechanical and done in complete silence. We picked up our cracked phones and returned to our seats.

I didn’t know what compelled us, but I knew it had to be done. I knew we had to return to our exact same spots.

I took my seat at the back of the bus with my head bowed downward and Jinu sat across from me with his eyes focused on the skyline. Angela and Sheryl sat close and fixed in place. Rick went back to sleep. Drew sat closest to the driver and watched Ted sit up again.

Lights appeared beside us. Sounds of cars and bikers and voices reappeared. Headlights blinked on the other side of the road. Ted started the engine again. And we drove.

The bus rumbled onward through the beautiful dark night and city.

The only sign that we had ever been trapped in some place beyond here was the fact that my face was wet with tears and that there was an empty seat in front of me. I couldn’t remember her name though.

I looked down at my phone and I had 127 missed calls from “UNKNOWN” and a very brief text message from the same number. All it read was “again” and “enter.”

I closed my eyes and figured maybe it was time to move back home.

#writeblr #horror #writers on tumblr #supernatural #short story #original story #my work #creepy story #cw: body horror

[thecomfywriter]

On Writing Eating Disorders...

@thecomfywriter (original post; remember to tag me or lmk if you want to repost it)

NOTE: Everything in this post is based off of my personal research, thoughts, opinions and experiences. 

If you or a loved one has an eating disorder, please seek help by letting a loved one know, or contact one of these resources. Take care of yourselves, lovelies. 

Toll-Free Number (NEDA):  1-800-931-2237 or text NEDA to 741741

Eating disorders are often misrepresented in the media, rather in being glorified, or romanticized, or flat out ignoring some types while claiming others are a choice. As a person who has recently recovered from an eating disorder, these representations can be incredibly harmful and add to the stigmatization of the serious mental illness. As a writer, I thought I’d give some pointers of what to do and what to avoid when writing eating disorders.

1) Do your research

There are many different types of eating disorders, each with different symptoms and different treatment plans. It isn’t just anorexia nervosa, bulimia and binge eating disorder (although this one is also not handled much or not properly). Here’s a list of eating disorders and their basic definitions. 

TRIGGER WARNING:

Anorexia Nervosa: officially defined as the ed with dramatic weight loss or an aim for a weight below the healthy amount for age and height. characterized by extreme restriction in food, types of food and calories. 

Bulimia Nervosa: subtype of anorexia involving a purging method in order to maintain low weight or dramatically lose weight. Purging can include extreme/obsessive exercise, vomiting, and/or use of laxatives. 

Binge-Eating Disorder: reoccurring episodes of eating large quantities of food followed by shame or discomfort. Typically, these episodes are performed in secret, and include a feeling of lack of control. Binge eating disorder is not overeating once. It is a very serious and life threatening disorder where the sufferer feels a lack of control in eating to a point of discomfort repeatedly. 

OFSED: encompasses individuals who don’t meet the specific guidelines for the other types of eating disorders but still engage in disordered eating behaviors. Includes frequent binge eating episodes and possibly purging episodes, body image issues (may include body dysmorphia), frequent dieting behaviours, restriction, “burn off” calories consumed, etc. 

Orthorexia: included in OFSED, which is defined as an unhealthy obsession with eating healthy/clean to the point of disorder eating and restrictive behaviors. Often shares symptoms with bulimia nervosa (burning off calories through exercise) or anorexia (needing to eat clean/vegan/organic/etc.) Individuals may express body image issues through their desire to be “lean” or “skinny”

ARFID: known as the Selective Eating Disorder, involving limitations to types of food or amount of food consumed without the distress of body image or fears of fatness.

NOTE: these are general terms and definitions. I want to make clear that eating disorders do NOT have a body type or “look”, which brings me to point two. 

2) Eating disorders do not have a “type” or “look”

We see this a lot. The anorexic girl is stick thin, dainty and pretty. The bulimic is probably thin too. The binge eater is fat. 

It’s not that general. 

I was anorexic long before I was skinny. Some anorexics never become skinny. Most people with restrictive eating disorders are actually on the ‘average’ to ‘higher’ end of the scale. Just because someone has a specific weight, that doesn’t mean they don’t have a mental illness. That’s not how mental illness’s work. They are mental meaning they are about what’s in your head, not how your body looks. 

If you’re writing an OC with an eating disorder, consider separating their body type from their eating disorder. Eating disorders are about the mental anguish and the overthinking and fear related to food. It’s an unhealthy relationship with food, not a weight or body type. Not only will you be representing ed’s better, it is actually a lot more interesting to read (the books I’ve read focusing on the mental pain of having an ed are wayy better than, omg I wanna be skinny but I can’t see that I already am. Not saying that body dysmorphia isn’t a thing. It 100% is. I have it. But it’s often oversimplified and almost mocked in media, which sucks ass).

3) Do not discriminate

First of all, there is a huge underrepresentation of men with eating disorders. NEWS FLASH: BOYS CAN HAVE EATING DISORDERS TOO 

This also goes for age. I personally know people who have eating disorders ranging from 6 years old (I know it’s sad) to in their late 40′s. Eating disorders do not discriminate based off age, nor sex, nor sexual orientation, nor race. 

There are black people with eating disorders. There are asians with eating disorders. There are south asians and latinos and hispanics with eating disorders. There are old people and young people, and boys and girls, and gays and straights with eating disorders. It’s not just the average white teenage girl. Take it from the indian recovered anorexic. 

Don’t be afraid, and honestly, please do consider adding diversity in your representation of eating disorders. Consider the cultural aspect of how the standards of each of these POC societies affect body image. 

An example of this is, in indian culture, people are very blunt. They also glorify weight loss, but don’t be too skinny either. It’s all about looking fertile, but heaven forbid you put on too much weight. This affected me so much when I went on vacation and met with family, and they all started commenting on my weight or pinching at my developing body. It was hurtful. It was even worse to hear them say I looked healthier because of my weight gain because for an anorexic, hearing ‘you look healthier’ is synonymous with ‘you look fat’. 

Also, the type of food per culture! Indian food is very healthy but also very dense, so it was my number one fear food when I still had my ed. 

Consider all of these things when adding representation, and ADD REPRESENTATION.

4) DO NOT GLORIFY or ROMANTICIZE EATING DISORDERS

I can’t say this enough. Please do NOT glorify or romanticize eating disorders. Often times, the anorexic girl is “dainty” and “pretty” with a “slim weight that you can hold in your hands”, or “is so beautiful but she just can’t see it”. 

BLEGH! VOMIT!  STOP! DO NOT DO THAT!

Every time I read that, a part of me dies inside. There is nothing aesthetic or dainty about having your bones show, or having such little weight on your body that you physically can never get warm, even after wearing four layers of clothing. There is nothing romantic or aesthetic about having your bones rub together every time you try to sleep or having joint pain at 17. There is nothing romantic or aesthetic about shaking in fear every time someone touches you because you are so scared of someone touching your body, or judgement, or discovering how sick you are. There is nothing aesthetic or romantic about eating disorders. Period. 

Please stop using language that makes an aesthetic out of eating disorders. Please stop describing it as if it is just a “dainty waist” or “tiny wrists,” because a) it implies only skinny people having eating disorders, and the skinny people with eating disorders are more brandable and “pretty”, whereas every other body type isn’t (WHICH ISN’T TRUE); and b) it adds a positive connotation, or almost makes eating disorders seem like a choice; like a diet gone wrong. 

Repeat after me: Eating disorders are NEVER a choice

5) STOP. WITH. THE. ROMANCE. SAVING. LOVE STORY. 

For some reason, most plots involving a person with an eating disorder (typically a pretty and skinny girl) involves a guy falling in love with her and saving her from herself, and being the reason she recovers. 

News flash! If love was the cure all for mental illness, my family would have saved me a long time ago. 

Mental illness is complicated. It’s debilitating. It steals your life away from you and it’s a long and gruesome process to try and recovery from it or learn to cope with it. I didn’t recover from my eating disorder ~through the power of l o v e~ 

My mom begged me with tears in her eyes for me to try harder and to eat properly. I yelled in her face. 

It’s a sad reality. There’s never a day in my life where I don’t regret doing that. But eating disorders change you. They can turn you sour. Starving is painful and it makes you cold. I wasn’t a kind loving person anymore. My family’s love wasn’t enticing enough for me to recover. The truth was, I was more scared of food and my eating disorder than I loved them. I hate admiting that, but its true. Which is why they couldn’t have been my reason to recover. 

It’s not the same for everyone. For some people, their family is the reaosn they recover. And I definently did try harder for my family too. But when I was in the deep, love wasn’t going to make me rational. It wasn’t going to cure me from my suffering. I was too busy pushing people away for that to happen. The sad reality of ed’s are that they ruin relationships a lot of the time. It takes a lot of resiliency to support a person with an ed because of how complex and difficult it is. 

I’m lucky my family did it for me. But I couldn’t expect that much from anyone beyond them. My recovery came from myself with the support of my family. I wasn’t saved by love. I was definently motivated by it, and supported by it, but that was only later. 

I’m sorry if this isn’t the happy truth you want to hear. I’m only speaking my own reality. Eating disorders are tragic. They have tragic consequences. Ultimately, some guy who is crushing on your OC, or who your OC is crushing on isn’t going to be the person who “saves them from their ed”. Your OC has to help themselves by reaching out to the people they love and to professionals for support. 

Don’t minimize the strength and bravery of a sufferer by making their mental illness disappear with love, because love is not a cure. Empower your readers by showing how your OC was strong enough to seek help, and what a big step it is towards taking care of themselves and recovery. 

This is just a general list. Sorry it’s so long. I can go more in detail if you guys want a part 2, or I can make more tip posts. Let me know if this helps. And if you know anyone or if you yourself are suffering from an eating disorder, please use your local resources. Tell a friend, a loved one. If anything, you can always message me on tumblr (@thecomfywriter) or insta (@tovwriter). I’ve been there, and I’ll always be here to support you guys <3

You deserve to recover and live a free and happy life. Recovery is possible. For you and your OC’s. Write a story that makes you feel powerful. 

Happy Writing <3

#writing advice #writing tips #writerblr #writers on tumblr #amwriting #wip #oc #writing community #writeblr community #original post #eating disoder recovery #writers #writing #tips #advice #books #bookworm #rant #writers on ig #eating disorder #representation

[thecorteztwins]

@esteicy-blog “I'm convinced that they didn't even check the wiki page of her comic version when writing her in the mcu because movie Mantis has absolutely nothing to do with what you describe.“ I haven’t see the MCU movie, but I have read a bit about that version of Mantis and they sound NOTHING alike to me either! Comics Mantis is: - Not an alien. She’s a completely human woman with a Vietnamese mother and a German father. She was raised by Kree priests in a temple, but that temple was in Vietnam, not space, and then when she was an adult they wiped her memories so she remembered only growing up in Saigon. She never goes to space until her destiny as the Celestial Madonna is revealed. She MARRIES one of the Cotati aliens, but she isn’t one herself. Which means I think GotG has more POC who are playing aliens than actual POC characters? - Her powers are very different. As I understand it, movie!Mantis is a generic empath. Comics book Mantis had what she described as “empathy with nature” often calling it simply “empathy” for short, but what it actually was was just like...this very vague and generic psychic sensitivity. She wasn’t exactly a real telepath, nor a true empath, nor a precog, but she could feel “vibrations” that gave her clues if something was wrong, get a general sense of a person in a vague sort of way, and just generally gave her really good intuition. For instance, this one time a cop with a split personality had his other personality take over, and Mantis sensed SOMETHING was wrong because his “vibrations” changed, she just couldn’t say WHAT was going on. But more than her psychic sensitivity, was her martial arts prowess. Mantis has such martial skill that she’s able to grapple with Thor and WIN---quickly win, at that! At one point ALL THE AVENGERS try to physically restrain her, and she TOSSES THEM THE FUCK OFF (again, including Thor) She also once kicks Pietro in the face WHEN HE’S RUNNING! Again, this woman is HUMAN, she just has really extreme training by alien priests. - Her personality. Again, I haven’t seen the movie, but she seems kind of...cute and fragile and ditzy and naive from what I understand? Comics Mantis is intelligent, fearless, and very much NOT naive. She’s extremely assertive and serious, she’s not shy or giggly at all. She’s also framed as very intelligent and logical, though that’s more something the writing tries to convince us of than what’s actually on the page. She’s not stupid AT ALL, just we’re told she’s a brilliantly logical deductive mind on par with the Vision, when actually she just mostly makes guesses based on her intuition powers but calls it deduction. She’s definitely clever though, both in a fight and in terms of getting what she wants from people and situations, and how to best utilize her powers. She’s also never unsure in her abilities either; she’s so confident in them that in fact she defends them to others when they think her psychic intuition is wrong, or that she didn’t measure her strike correctly, and BOTH times she’s proven correct. But she’s also not arrogant about her skills either, and in fact demures from compliments. Mantis doesn’t tolerate anyone underestimating her abilities, including allies, and she trusts in herself completely...but she also doesn’t need praise from others either, and doesn’t seem to want it. And the story supports her, there is never a moment where she’s proven wrong in this. Mantis is NOT a character who EVER struggles with control of her powers. Mantis can be great. For instance, when she’s reuniting with the Avengers after having been away in space with the whole Celestial Madonna thing, they’re all super happy to see her. Silverclaw, a new Avenger (who is also indigenous Latina) stands off the side and is left out, because she doesn’t have any connection to Mantis. Mantis notices this, and she immediately reaches out to Silverclaw, putting her arm around her, saying that “Yes, they gather around this one. But this one would rather gather around you.” and explains that she was the new girl once and the Avengers supported her, and she wants to support Silverclaw too. It’s very sweet! Mantis absolutely can be a big jerk. The way she meets The Avengers is that some guys are being creeps to Wanda on the street, and Mantis jumps out to kick their asses and defend Wanda. This is great. But it’s not coincidence. Mantis wasn’t just passing by. She and her boyfriend the Swordsman (a former Avenger) want to join, and had come to the US for the express purpose of joining. So she was probably following Wanda and just jumped out at the moment she knew would make her look best to Wanda, so that Wanda would vouch for her as an Avenger. Mantis shows this capacity to be manipulative other times as well, and in fact in the end she seems to have been just using the Swordsman as a way to get America and be an Avenger, even though she claims to the Avenger that she doesn’t care about being one and just wants to be next to “her man”. She acts like the typical “submissive Asian girl who loves her big strong white boyfriend” at first but the minute she decides that she’d rather have the Vision, who is actively involved with Wanda, she starts pursuing him. She’s a huge jerk to Swordsman and Wanda in the process, insulting the both of them as being weak and not good enough for her or Vision, at first behind their backs, and then to their faces, she and Wanda get pretty catty. Mantis is very adamant that she wants a strong, heroic, INTELLIGENT man, and the Swordsman falls short for her. Which is her choice, but the way she handles it is very shitty to him (not to mention going behind his and Wanda’s backs trying to seduce Vision). He tries more than once to have a discussion with her about it, and she evades him, avoiding giving him any kind of straight answer when he asks her very straightforward questions. It’s not towards the end that she finally coldly dismisses him and tells him he’s not enough for her and that she doesn’t care for him any longer. Even when he’s dying after saving her and she’s begging him to live and apologizing, she’s still frankly kind of a selfish dick about it? She says she used him and that it was wrong and that she sees that now, but she says he needs to live so she can make things up to him. So he needs to live so SHE can feel better, basically, and she’s only feeling remorse in the first place because he sacrificed himself for her. Even after death, he can’t catch a break---she says she prefers the version of him that is actually the Elder Cotati possessing his dead body (I’m still not over that) because its smarter than the original Swordsman was. Ouch. But Mantis isn’t all bad for this! She’s not actually demonized for it at all, to be honest, nor is she punished by the narrative. Her story with the Swordsman is honestly more just a way to get her to the Avengers, then she quickly overtakes him in terms of importance as a character. It’s easy to forget he’s there most of the time compared to her, and he’s got rid of the moment he’s no longer really needed, and the next chapter of her story can begin as she’s revealed to be The Celestial Madonna. It’s the reverse of the typical male and female roles in a story, ESPECIALLY for a white man and an Asian woman. He’s HER prop, he’s the one devoted to her, he’s the one who is cast aside and dies for her as a part of HER story. Mantis also evolves. When she comes back from her journey as the Madonna, she’s straight with the Avengers about why she’s come to them, and she asks directly for their help, there’s no manipulative games. Wanda and her still have a bit of an issue on Wanda’s end, Wanda understandably still doesn’t like seeing her be close with Vision, but BOTH of them work at having a better relationship---Wanda in fact goes out of her way to tell Mantis that she and Vision are separated now, so it’s fine if he hooks up with Mantis (which he does) And Mantis hasn’t said an unkind word about Wanda in a very long time. Being a mother brings a whole new dimension to her. Ben Grimm cracks about how any “red-blooded American kid” would have a hard time calling her “Mom” due to her sex appeal, and Mantis rightly points out that people don’t often think of her as a mother---which is a small but VERY true commentary on how people can’t seem to conceive of motherhood and sexiness in the same woman outside the MILF stereotype---but she is, and she is a very devoted one, and she’s a great mom while also having sex with the Vision even while she also has a “mate” in the Elder Cotati, and she’s not portrayed as wrong for this in any way; she and the Elder Cotati seem poly I guess. And being a mother, being the Celestial Madonna, gave her a bunch of additional new powers, she’s stated to be a GODDESS now, and she ends up being able to TAKE ON THANOS and she WARNS him---”This one is life, Thanos, but hurt her son and she will kill you. That is a promise.” So, she’s a very well-rounded character, she’s very assertive and confident woman with every right to be, while not being arrogant. She’s got some really nasty flaws, she can be cruel and catty when it comes to romance, manipulative when it comes to achieving her goals when there’s not even any need to be, but she also matures and develops. She’s a great mom who also has an active sex life and nothing is shown as wrong about it. She starts out with admittedly very racist trappings---the mysterious seductive martial artists Dragon Lady from the Far East who seems devoted to her white boyfriend--but grows beyond it in spades. I can see why a modern movie might want to shed SOME of that baggage...but making her into a cutesty-poo side character with nearly all her incredible canon powers gone, while ALSO erasing her ethnicity and cultural identity, doesn’t seem at all a step in the right direction to me.

#mantis #marvel #avengers #gotg #guardians of the galaxy #meta #mantis meta #sorry for the novel but I wanted to talk about it #and you provided a very good opportunity #out of cortez

[theparanormalperiodical]

The True Story Behind The Ring (2002) And The 11 Real Cursed Videotapes And Films That You Should NOT Watch

As a paranormal blogger, I often find myself treading the line between honesty and hoaxes. 

It could be the photographic evidence behind a ghost story, or it could be the claims of those that have supposedly witnessed something unexplainable - I spend most of my time trying to work out what's real with a capital ‘R’.

But if there’s one thing I can always rely on, it’s this:

The Japanese know how to make horror films. 

Sure, each corner of the world brings its own flair to the genre, but it’s a very specific aesthetic that runs like a piece of thread through Japanese horror, weaving together the cloak of Asian horror. 

And it was the British winter weather that reminded me of this aesthetic (and had me emotionally prepared to see a clump of black hair snake around my hand and upvote a Teen Mom 2 meme on Reddit).

So, in true Paranormal Periodical fashion, I’ve decided to dig deep into the reality of a horror icon native to Japan:

Samara, the creepy-ass chick from The Ring (2002).

Check out the trailer to her cinematic debut here!

But the thing is, the true story behind one of the most famous horror movies of all time goes much further than any ol’ cursed videotape.

Turns out that Samara’s life - and afterlife - is based on a very real story, and a very real set of ghosts that Japanese culture cannot get enough of.

Yep.

This means that there’s twice as much chance that The Ring is based on a true story than any other horror film. Great.

So, for all of the readers that haven’t hidden under their duvet, this article is going to be summarising the true story behind Samara, the Japanese folklore of the Yurei (imagine multiple Samaras just, like, existing all at the same time), and all of the cursed videos that bring us uncomfortably close to the plotline of The Ring. 

And if that wasn’t enough to traumatise you, I’ve even included all of the cursed horror films you need to know about!

Why? ‘Cause fuck you. 

If I’m going down, you’re going down with me. 

Now, let’s get spooky.

First, Let’s Recap Samara’s Screen Time (The Ring Movies And The Ring Novel Series)

Our story starts in 1991.

We are in Tokyo. News breaks that four teenagers have died on exactly the same night at exactly the same time. A journalist piques interest in this suspicious occurrence, and winds up in a holiday resort where they stayed a week before their mysterious deaths. 

When he’s not shacked up on the beach and living his Love Island fantasy, he discovers a videotape has been left in the room. This tape contains a set of weird-ass images and a warning appears which basically says:

“You gon’ die in seven days. If y’all don’t wanna die in 7 days do thi-”

An advert cuts off the instructions. (So, just like Love Island, then?)

This plotline sounds familiar, doesn’t it? That’s ‘cause it gets repeated in every novel and every film. But that’s not to say that this saga slacks story-wise. 

In the first novel, the investigations lead the journalist to the story of Sadako. Turns out that she was the daughter of Shizuko Yamamura, a medium who was branded a charlatan. Shizuko committed suicide by throwing herself in the crater of Mount Mihara as a result of her disdain by the world around her, but the fate of Sadako was declared unknown. 

The journalist follows the trail back to a well. And at the bottom of this well? What’s left of Sadako. 

Firmly believing that a proper burial will restore peace to Sadako’s ghost, he believes that laying her body to rest has fulfilled the duty expected of the viewer before the Flat Tummy Tea advert cropped off how to stop her.

But fit with the surprise ending that kills a sidekick of the journalist, we discover that copying the videotape is what spares the watcher of the tape from Sadako’s curse. 

Sadako doesn’t want to be laid to rest - she wants the world to know of her suffering and thus by copying the video and showing it to someone, more people will know.

Swap out a couple Japanese destinations for Seattle inspired locations, and we end up with The Ring (2002) - the American film. 

Still with me? 

Good. Because this is where the Japanese story and the American films diverge:

The American films go off-piece, either churning out this same plot, or go deeper into Samara’s past. This includes seeking out her mother and the child of the journalist being possessed by Samara. 

The Japanese, however, shake off such a simple plot and stick to the novels.

Spiral (1995) is the sequel to the first book, from which it is deduced that a tumour is what kills the victims of Sadako. The tumour forms in the throat, and then blocks the airway when the 7 days are up. This tumour is transferred from the tape to the body via an organism known as the Ring Virus.  

Investigations continue, questions go unanswered, and then the virus mutates and uses a report on this case to become a medium to transfer the curse to the reader. Some bloke reads it, and begins to think of Sadako and the well. He follows these thoughts to the well, and meets a girl called Masako.

They zig-a-ziga, and he discovers that Masako is actually Sadako.

Oh, and she’s up the duff.

Sadako then makes him publish the files that are essentially now the tape.

The rest of the book series sticks to the growing spread of the virus, and includes a supercomputer project, someone giving birth to Sadako… The Americans only went so far as someone sending a video clip to her next victim!

Yet despite the escalating Japanese side of things, there is something that I need to mention to bring out yet another component of Sadako’s uncomfortably realistic story:

It’s her tragic death. 

Having fled to Hakone - the site of the well she died in - to visit her father in hospital, she is raped by a doctor. She defends herself with her psychic powers, but once she is strangled, she is incapacitated and cannot fight back. She is then thrown (still alive) into the well. 

Nevertheless, the premise is still clear - and uncomfortably accurate to Japanese folklore and the true story inspiring this set of novels and films.

*Runs away*

The True Story Behind Samara 

Now it’s time to discuss the woman of the well herself.

Samara, or Sadako, is the leading lass of these films and novels, and is known for her mop of tangled black hair, her debut appearance in the creepiest cursed video tape known to mankind, and desire for the world to know her name!

(I’m telling you, this whole saga could just be a metaphor for Love Island.) 

But it turns out that this tale is based on a similarly tragic set of events taking place 700 years ago:

It is claimed that a woman named Okiku worked in the dungeon of Himeji castle, and was the servant to a samurai. Among her tasks was looking after a set of 10 golden plates. 

In true rom-com fashion, the samurai fell in love with her, and wanted to leave his wife for Okiku. However, in true patriarchy fashion, when she declined his advances he blackmailed her by hiding one of the golden plates and threatening to tell the authorities that she had stolen it.

We are uncertain of the exact events following this, but we know that she either committed suicide by throwing herself in the well, or was murdered by the samurai and then thrown in the well.

Either way she ended up in a well.  And this well actually exists…

(Note the iron bars covering the well. To keep her contained, perhaps?)

Well, I say ended up - Okiku made a point of revisiting the samurai after her death. She would haunt him by crawling out of the well each and every night, and would make a point of counting the golden plates. When she found once was missing, she would scream and throw a fit of rage. 

If that story wasn’t similar enough to the theatrical version of events, then Okiku’s portrayal as a yurei will be sure to send a shiver down your spine...

The Yurei

Okiku is far from alone in her ventures in the afterlife. In fact, a whole branch of Japanese ghosts bare similarities to her existence.

And they are known as yurei.

Take a look at this gif of Samara:

A dark mop of wet, let down hair. A white, flowing dress. Arms outstretched and hands limp.

These are all core traits shared by this #squad of spirits.

The japanese word translates to ‘faint soul’ or ‘dim spirit’, but the main focus of the yurei is actually their burial and afterlife.

Women are buried in Japan in white flowing dresses and have their hair down, hence this aesthetic crossing over to the other plain of existence. Unfortunately, the plain of existence they reach is far from the heavens expected:

The yurei are spirits who are kept from a peaceful afterlife, thanks to the unfortunate nature of their deaths. The yurei are ghosts which have died under unnatural circumstances - think traumatic deaths or having no official rites to bless than during their final moments. Oh, and you can’t forget the burden of jealous feelings and the desire for vengeance! 

“So, is sharing round their tragic stories like Samara’s the way to cleanse this spirit?”

Nah. 

Performing the rites or resolving the circumstances of their desire for vengeance or their unfinished business typically does the trick.

In fact, letting the ghost have intimate relations with an intended lover is a very popular method of de-yureing your life. 

Not willing to shag a spirit?

(Of all the sentences I thought I’d say on this blog, that is definitely not one of them.)

I’m afraid you’re going to have to let the yurei carry out their final actions forever…and ever… and ever…

So, we know what yurei are - but is Okiku the only recorded case of one?

Nope!

In fact, she’s one of three famous yurei that are repeatedly portrayed in theatrical and cinematic productions. Otsuya and Oiwa make up the rest of the trio, but unfortunately I can only find Oiwa’s story. 

Well, the terrifying part, that is: anyone that portrays her in a film or at the theatre is sure to be haunted by her!

Currently freaked the fuck out? Here’s how you can spot if you are being haunted by a yurei:

Their appearance is often what gives them away. Aside from the white dress, the hair style is actually key to their aesthetic. It is believed that Japanese women often wore their hair pinned up during their life, and thus had it down for their burial. That or the characters portraying yurei at the theatre would wear wigs, giving the appearance of a cloak of long hair. 

Speaking of the white dress, yureis wore white kimonos as this was the symbol of purity, again the traditional garb of buried Japanese women. They would also wear a small piece of cloth to cover their forehead.

(Perhaps explaining why Samara draped her forward and covered her face - and thus her forehead, too.)

“So, they just look like women that have been buried?”

Nearly - they are often seen hovering above the ground, with wisps of colour coming off of their bodies. Also known as hitodemon, these often stick to the colour palette of greens, blues and purples.

These colours feature heavily in the American Ring films. 

The Real Cursed Videos You Seriously Shouldn’t Watch  

Aside from Samara’s #aesthetic, the main feature of both the novel series and the films is that of the cursed video tape.

Bearing a similarity to a student film from an edgy undergrad, it contains a mix of abstract and hyper-realistic images bound to unsettle the watcher - all set to a soundtrack of high pitched noises.

The tape contains traces of Samara’s life, and is intended to leave a mark on the watcher to encourage them to make the world know of her pain. But being creeped out isn’t the only effect of this tape. Over the week prior to their deadline, weird effects in photographs, bite marks and other physical afflictions are also noted. It's these mental and physical effects that give the real life cursed videos lingering on the net their ‘cursed’ label.

Unfortunately, these effects tend to be much more drastic than those envisaged in The Ring.

*sigh*

#1 - suicidemouse.avi

Mickey Mouse is one of the most iconic cartoon characters to date. His lovable charm and his adorable voice make him the extrovert of the age! However, this video might make you regard the frontman of Disney in a different light.

This video - which first appeared on 4chan - sees a sad looking Mickey walk through a dark, grey city, with hands behind his back. 

Things take a turn, however, when a series of creep-AF things go down.

The screen goes blank for a couple of minutes. The piano music stops. The music comes back on. Screams are heard. The music gets fucked up. The buildings around him crumble. He wears an uncomfortable grin as the city falls apart. Mickey collapses with a syringe in his hand. 

The final shot shows a blurry logo for the cartoon character, and Russian text appears. It reads:

“The sights of hell bring its viewers back in.”

It is claimed that after a single watch you will experience panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. 

Could it have simply come from a troll on the web? Potentially. But the urban legend follows a much darker tale, claiming film critic Leonard Maltin was reviewing old cartoons that would be brought into a compilation when he saw this one. He voted it out immediately, and actually left the room thanks to the video.

But it is also claimed her kept a version for his own records.

Oh! And it gets worse!

The original editor was supposedly driven to insanity having watched it, stealing a security guard’s gun and shooting himself having yelled “Real suffering is not known!”.

Yeah, fuck this shit.

#2 - The Japanese Kleenex Advert (1980s?)

The Japanese film industry makes yet another feature on this list, and once again, it's the traumatising stuff that puts them on the map. 

The advert shows a woman sitting next to a baby painted as a red ogre who sits on a pile of straw. If that wasn’t weird enough, music with the innovative lyrics “die” in German repeatedly being chanted is the soundtrack to this freaky advert. 

Well, depending on the time of day, that is. The soundtrack would alter depending on when it was viewed. 

Viewers also noted an unsettling feeling whilst watching the advert, some even complained of sudden intense suicidal thoughts. The advert was quickly pulled from air thanks to the complaints, but not before it could take its toll on the creators of the advert.

Unexplainable accidents and a series of mental health issues plagued the creators of the film, leaving both viewers and producers haunted. The baby in the video? Killed in a car crash. The actress in the video? Hung herself in a mental hospital.

#4 - The Grifter

Potentially the scariest video on this list, the Grifter is a collage of images and clips relating to human torture, sacrifice and a variety of other gruesome scenes. Splash on some unsettling music and you have yourself a 4chan icon!

The thing is, only screenshots have been shared of this video. All we know is based on the whispers and wonders of the internet pit that is this website. This includes a clip of a rotting plant with the words “Your race is the one dying”, writhing maggots, paintings melting, flashing colours, random forests, text in different languages...

“Hold up - doesn’t this sound like all supposedly cursed videos?”

The images of a very realistic looking baby/doll set this apart from the other videos (dis)gracing this list. Well, that and the supposed subliminal messages people claim to be lingering on the frequencies in the music.

A very clear message is laid out to viewers, however, when a voice says:

“This child (now a young man) is still alive and lives in a local shelter whose name was not given. He never spoke, and still is katatonie [sic].”

We then once again return to the parallels with the other videos:

Negative physical effects and internal afflictions are frequently noted by viewers; sudden nosebleeds, nightmares, hallucinations, depression and suicidal thoughts haunt anyone who dares watch.

Fancy clickin’ ‘play’? Good luck with that. Any clips found on any corner of the web are often taken down, and are near impossible to copy. 

#5 - Satan’s Sphinx

Most of the videos have been traced back to 4chan, and have left us with much speculation regarding their backstory. But the urban legend accompanying this video starts with its creation:

It was supposedly uploaded to the internet in 2006 by the US government in order to test subliminal messaging. But when the reports of madness started rolling in, it was taken off the web.

Don’t fancy watching it yourself?

Then you’re missing out on a succession of bloody images overladen with high pitched sounds and murmurs! Eventually the images flick through so quickly that a flash of is all that is left.  

So, no, you’re not missing out on much. Apart from depression. 

The Real Cursed Movies You Seriously Should Watch (They’re All Great Movies, Okay, It’s Worth The Sacrifice)

Everyone okay? We all good? Had a little cry?

It’s ok, it’s over now. 

Now it’s time for the cursed horror movies you can watch! 

But before I continue the train of terrifying-shit that is this post, I wanted to begin with a personal story regarding cursed videos: In case you didn’t know, I captured paranormal activity on audio whilst recording a video for my long-dead YT channel. It was when I mentioned the true story of Anneliese Michel that strange occurrences began to plague my sound. 

Given that, I firmly believe that discussing the true stories behind certain hauntings is what cursed these films, most of which were based on true stories or unholy themes.

#1 - The Exorcist (1973)

It’s famous for being one of the scariest horror films to date, becoming a cinematic icon that would lead the the horror movie genre forward in terms of both CGI and storyline. But it's also earned its reputation through the claims of a curse.

Fires on set, actors being seriously hurt during filming - and the death of actors whilst the film was barely out of post production - all scar the film. Heck, in 1987, the actress who voiced the demon experienced the curse herself when her son murdered his own family before comitting suicide.

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDGw1MTEe9k 

#2 - The Conjuring (2013)

Both the cast and crew cited paranormal activity, but it was a slash of a claw on Vera Farmiga’s laptop that sparked the rumours of a curse…

Digital claw marks ripped through her laptop and then appeared on her thigh, bearing the mark of a demonic attack or violent spirit. 

An exorcist was thus made to be on set throughout filming for the sequel.

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k10ETZ41q5o 

#3 - The Passion Of The Christ (2004)

The presence of Mel Gibson was not the only thing to have cursed this film. 

In fact, is was an ungodly amount of lightning strikes that plagued production - even if ‘ungodly’ isn’t the right word to use. In the filming of one scene, lightning struck the set, specifically Caviezel, a key actor in the film. And this was the second lightning strike felt by the assistant director. 

Unfortunately, this was one of the few ailments and issues Caviezel would fac including lacerations due to whipping and pneumonia. 

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Aif1qEB_JU 

#4 - Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

It’s time for another biblical tale! 

The sudden death of the composer and the infamous death of the director’s wife at the hands of Charles Manson have scarred this film. In fact, Manson supposedly cited that he was the devil and doing the devil’s work when he killed her. 

A producer also suffered sudden kidney failure soon after the film, amping up the evidence to suggest this film was cursed.

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjpA6IH_Skc 

#5 - Poltergeist (1982)

There’s a lot going on with this film. Like a lot. Like real, human skeletons being used in the pool scene. But that was just the start of this curse.

Unfortunately, this fantastic film has a fatal backstory. 

Carol-Anne, the little girl at the centre of the film, died at the age of 12 as a result of a cardiac arrest, and across a mere 6 year window 3 crew and cast members also met their demise. 

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eZgEKjYJqA 

#6 - The Omen (1976)

This film certainly racked up the greatest number of tragic occurrences, and this supposed curse is believed to be linked to the film itself.

The plotline follows the birth of the antichrist, and follows his life as he takes out his enemies and seeks to dominate the world. 

(Mwahahahaha)

And honestly, it seems like outside of the set this may have just been true:

3 planes carrying both cast and crew ran into dangerous weather conditions. The screenwriter himself was on two separate flights that were struck by lightning, and an executive producer was on a flight that flew through a storm.

Another plane that was supposed to carry Gregory Peck - one of the masterminds behind the film - crashed. Peck had cancelled his ticket moments before deciding to fly.

And the director? His hotel was bombed by the IRA. A special effects artist? His girlfriend was killed in a car crash. Still wanna watch? No thanks. 

Here’s the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS-sXcx30O4 

So - What Do You Think?

Are you planning to watch any of these cursed videos?

Or are you currently googling ‘how-best-to-protect-from-yurei-and-maybe-the-antichrist-too-why-not’?

Whatever your doing this fine evening, you can find more spooky stuff on this blog - including a new ghost everyday. You in? Then hit follow!

#long post #the ring #the ring 2 #the ringtwo #the ring 3 #the ring imbd #7 days the ring #the ring original #the grudge #ju on: the grudge #scary movie #Best horror movies 2019 #horror movies 2019 #best horror movies #scary movie 2 #horror movies on netflix #good horror movies #classic horror movies #cursed film #cursed video tapes #cursed youtube #cursed films #the exorcism of emily rose #poltergeist #the omen #rosemary's baby #based on a true story #based on real events #the curse of la llorona #scary youtube

[mixedfeelingsproject]

Helena

Where are you from? Poland

How would you describe your race/ethnicity? i'm white slav, white tatar and asian tatar. i usually describe myself as white + west asian.

Do you identify with one particular aspect of your ethnicity more than another? Have you ever felt pressure to choose between parts of your identity? i feel like i have to identify with white only because i'm fairly white passing. also, tatars are a very varied group, some look asian (as in monolids, tan warm toned skin etc, sparse brows), some look white, and some look brown. my great grandpa was one of these who looked completely asian, but i'm always scared people won't believe me without proof.

Did your parents encounter any difficulties from being in an interracial relationship? no, my mom is fairly white passing as well (although she's darker skinned than me, she has more white facial features)

Have you been asked questions like "What are you?" or "Where are you from?" by strangers? If so, how do you typically respond? yes, when I was little i was significantly less white passing and strangers would ask me this.

Have you experienced people making comments about you based on your appearance? people often told me i have "chinese" eyes, or that my eyes make me look like im always high. when i used tinder people would constantly ask if i have east asian ancestry (i just told them i have asian ancestry but not east asian)

Have you ever been mistaken for another ethnicity? japanese, chinese, generally east asian.

Have you ever felt the need to change your behavior due to how you believe others will perceive you? In what way? i never know where the line is for me to speak on race and being mixed. im approx 1/4 or 1/5 asian, it was enough to be teased and mocked but im still fairly white passing. so i feel really uncomfortable with topics related to race because i dont know how much im allowed to say

What positive benefits have you experienced by being mixed? i like the way i look, i think im prettier and more interesting-looking than people who are entirely white (no offense to them lol). a more practical benefit is that because my skin is warm toned and more tan than of full-white people, i never get sunburn so that's fun. also, researching my own ancestry meant i learned a lot about history not just of tatar people but just of poland in general, and knowledge is always good. 

Have you changed the way you identify yourself over the years? i didn't know i had asian family members until last year, so for majority of my life i identified as white. then i identified as mixed white, because i felt it was a good way to claim mixed ancestry without denying white/white-passing privilege, but i got mocked for that online so now i identify as white+west asian. 

Are you proud to be mixed? Sometimes

#mixed #slavic #tatar #asian #identity

[malakhai-ozera]

(( TW: mentions of mental illness, past child abuse, substance abuse, & suicide  ))

FULL NAME: Malakhai Brenan Ozera

NICKNAMES: Khai, Mal

AGE: 26

DATE OF BIRTH: November 19th 1993

ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio

PLACE OF BIRTH: Henderson, Nevada

HOMETOWN: Bradford, England

LOCATION: Kingsboro, Brooklyn, New York City, NY

ETHNICITY: Pakastani/Asian.

NATIONALITY: British, Pakistani, Irish, Asian, American.

RELIGIOUS VIEWS: Agnostic

EDUCATION LEVEL: Graduate High School

OCCUPATION: Business Owner, Musician

MENTAL CONDITIONS: depression, anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar Disorder

PHYSICAL IMPAIRMENTS: wears glasses for reading

ADDICTIONS: Sex, Drugs, Pain, and Smoking.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

HEIGHT: 5′11

BODY TYPE: Slim and defined

EYE COLOUR: Hazel

HAIR COLOUR: Black

STYLE: Khai’s typical look would consist of a t-shirt and jeans (most likely ripped), a pair of boots and a leather or jean jacket. He also likes comfy hoodies and flannels. Although his style differs with his moods, he likes to be comfortable. A bit grungy but also laid back and stylish.

TATTOOS?: He has 60+ tattoos all over his body. ( most of them found here )

PERSONALITY

POSITIVE TRAITS: Dedicated, Compassionate, Empathetic, Creative, Honest, Coquettish, Charming, Adventurous, and Charismatic.  

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Impulsive, Clingy, Addictive, Insecure, Introverted, Evasive, Indecisive, Stubborn.

WHAT DO THEY CONSIDER TO BE THE BEST AND THE WORST PART OF THEIR PERSONALITY?:   He would probably consider the best part of his personality to be, his ability to talk to people. Everyone always feels comfortable around him and opening up to him. His worst part would probably be his ability to self destruct and push people away.

ARE THEY MORE EXTROVERTED OR INTROVERTED?: Introverted.

ANY TALENTS?: Cooking, Singing, Acting, Drawing, Dancing, and Playing piano. He’s also been told he’s very talented with his hands.

WHAT ARE THEIR FEARS?: Not being good enough, Rejection, and Dying.

ANY ALLERGIES?: Liliacs

DO THEY HAVE ANY PHOBIAS?: Atelophobia and Monophobia.

LIST 3 PET-PEEVES THEY CAN’T STAND: Homophobia, Racism, and socks with sandals.

PAST

BEST MEMORY: His mom teaching him how to play piano as a child.

WORST MEMORY: The day his mother and sister committed suicide.

BIGGEST SECRET: He has been beaten and molested his entire childhood.

BIGGEST WISH: Finding happiness.

BIGGEST FEAR: Losing his loved ones

FIRST LOVE : Ella Nazari

ROMANCE & SEXUALITY

SEXUALITY: Bisexual.

TURN ONS: Choking, Slapping, Bondage, Flirting, Biting, Hair Pulling, Dirty Talk,  Dom/Sub Play, Exhibitionism.

TURN OFFS: Furies, and Anything involving things that should be done on a toilet.

MISCELLANEOUS

SPEAKING VOICE CLAIM: Zayn Malik

SINGING VOICE CLAIM: Zayn Malik

RELATIONSHIP WITH MOTHER: Despite the fact that his mother remarried a man named Joseph Dagher. Who she would quite literally do anything to appease. Khai was pretty close with his mother. Some may even say he was a bit of a mama’s boy.

MOTHER’S NAME: Lisette Evangeline Brenen Ozera-Dagher.

RELATIONSHIP WITH FATHER:   He and his father were never particularly close. Khai constantly sought out for his fathers acceptance and approval but never actually gained it. His father thought of him as a mistake, a loser who was going nowhere with his life and would beat him constantly, usually for no particular reason at all. 

FATHER’S NAME: George Yaser Ozera

SIBLINGS: He had five siblings in total. A younger sister named Mackenzie( who deceased at the age of 18) he shared both parents with her. He also has a younger brother and sister with his birth father and new wife, Devon(19) and Doniya(17). And a younger sister and brother with his birth mother and new husband, Esmerey(23) and Parker(18).

PETS: A black lab named Kahlua and a hairless cat named Rajha

FAVORITE PLACE: Pompeii, Italy.

ROLE MODELS: Roman Beckett and Freddy Mercury

FAVORITE ANIMALS: Dogs, Cats, and Tigers.

FAVORITE BOOKS: The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, The Harry Potter books, and Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk.

FAVORITE MOVIES: He doesn’t have a favorite but he enjoys watching horror, mystery, thriller, and paranormal movies

FAVORITE MUSIC: R&B, Pop, and Classic Rock.

FAVORITE FOOD: Samosas

QUIRKS

ARE THEY RIGHT OR LEFT HANDED?: Right

WHAT’S A WORD THAT’S ALWAYS ON THEIR LIPS?: "Definitely”

WHAT LANGUAGES DO THEY SPEAK?: English, and Urdu (but not fluently)

DO THEY CURSE?: Yes.

WHAT’S THEIR WORST HABIT(S)?: Smoking Cigarettes, Weed, and Drinking.

DO THEY DRINK OR SMOKE? HOW FREQUENTLY?: He definitely smokes more than he drinks. But he still does both more often than he probably should.

ARE THEY AN EARLY BIRD OR A NIGHT OWL?: Night owl

HOW TIDY IS THEIR ROOM?: Decent.

HOW LONG TO THEY USUALLY TAKE GETTING READY?: Anywhere between 15 to 30 minutes.

#kingsboro.task #tasks. #about:khai #kingsboro.characterstudy

[i-did]

wait id love to hear your rant about how fanon deals with the race in tfc fics/fanon's of everyone else’s race :0

I would like to start this response with the fact that I do not believe anyone is being intentionally harmful in their race head cannons, simply that people tend to follow Fanon blindly and I believe people should not do that, and remember Fanon is only Fanon and we should make our own ideas and stray from the pack more often.

Okay, my thoughts on common race headcanons for the foxes and how they are often accidentally racist:

I know @bloodydamnit has spoken up about this before, but people specifically portraying Seth as black falls into a lot of unhealthy anti-black stereotypes of black men, especially the lack of development people tend to give him. She has written him and deconstructed these issues from her perspective and me a non-black person don’t think I could ever achieve such a thing and therefore do not headcanon him or will write him as black.

I personally headcanon him as hard Vietnamese and half white and made a long post about him before, I love Seth.

Matt and Dan are also often written as black, this isn’t inherently problematic necessarily, but it does often overlook the issue that people see this likely because of Matt’s history with drugs and Dan’s sex work playing into anti-black stereotypes without a tally going into race theory or redlining or any of the following issues in a way that gives them any development.

I like to headcanon Matt as Filipino, his straight hair is perfect for spiking, and dan as 75% black and 25% Oceti Sakowin (commonly known as Sioux), I want to write about how her leaving the reservation was a big deal for her, especially at the 25% mark which means if she is with anyone who isn’t of the same tribe her kids would not be considered a part of the tribe since the US minimum to register is 25% and this was part of her hesitance to be with Matt as well as other pressures. I like to think the baby her aunt had in the EC she ends up adopting from the foster system and that baby is 75% Oceti Sakowin and Matt is super excited to learn about their traditions and bring in both indigenous Filipino culture that he got disconnected with as well as Oceti Sakowin culture that she got disconnected with into their lives with their unexpected kid.

Renee is often headcanoned as Asian, but typically just generally Asian without nuance or explanation and also this plays into the passivity stereotype of Asian women. I headcanon her has African American, with very dark skin and Stephanie Walker was the first black foster mom she had and they hit it off really well, also Renees hair is a wig, no one can bleach their hair to white that’s just… it melts before it does that usually.

Again I’m not saying Renee can’t be Asian, It can be done right and written well, but overall I think it’s important for people to remember why they headcanon things and not accept Fanon blindly. Fanon often plays into harmful ideas. While people of color don’t have to have a reason for being people of color, I think it’s important to notice why you think charters who aren’t described at all are whatever race you headcanon and think critically. Our cultures and races make us experience the world in a certain way that contributes to who we are outside of blanket diversity, and it is important to think about that.

I often see people saying they headcanon Womack as Native American to make him having the tribal tattoos “unracist”, and to make Nora not racist, but Nora wasn’t being racist by saying Womack has tribal tattoos, Womack having shitty Tates in tattoos, which faux tribal was a huge cultural staple despite how cringe it is from the 90’s to mid 2000’s in America. It’s important also to not just say Native American but to do research on specific groups because each culture is unique and different.

That being said, I bounce back between Wymack just being some 70’s looking dad with cut off shorts to Maori where the swirl tattoos are very significant, and Kevin is white-passing but discovered he’s not white like he thought he was, and becomes an AOA history major (Africa, Oceana, Americas, aka indigenous history major).

Also considering Neil and Allison are supposed to be significantly attractive I don’t like them being white because of that, so I headcanon Allison as half middle eastern, (or maybe Indian I have more research to do before I decide), she was told she was adopted as a kid and often her mom would buy her whitening cremes like fair and lovely as a kid, but later found some papers when she was older finding out her dad actually got a woman pregnant and to keep her quiet took Allison and pretended he was such a good philanthropist and adopted a brown kid. She has a lot of problems with this, and bleaches her hair blond to try and fit in with her family without even realizing it. She never finds out who her birth mom is

I am a bit annoyed at white fans constantly calling Nora racist, while also using the lightest skinned headcanons every time for black characters playing into colorism and Spanish Nickys instead of darker toned people. Also, I think people should really try to critically think about their own ideas before calling out someone else. Do I think Nora is perfectly woke? No, no one is, but Fanon is just as bad but in a different way. There is a lot of colorism I see in both headcanon photos people use for the foxes as well as people tending to draw looser curls and thinner noses for characters they headcanon as black. Not every black person is half white and darker-skinned rep is very important. I’ve also seen people use Reece king as a Nicky face claim before and I wasn’t even surprised.

I've also seen people almost always have Erik be “Aryan” some even using the word to describe him unironically, and as a Jewish person this obviously doesn’t sit right with me. I would like to see less straight passing blond haired blue eyed taller than Nicky Erik sometimes.

Again I’m not calling anyone racist, I just think that people should go outside Fanon and think of their own ideas on who they want the characters to be in their headcanons and why. I'm tiers of the same 4 Instagram model photos being used for every Aftg edit, the same light-skinned Dan’s, Matt’s, and Nicky’s. Also while I’m at it, add some body diversity, they’re athletes all playing different positions, I think all the defense players are at least chubby if not plus size. Aaron, Andrew, and Renee are all fat and proud, Nicky and Matt are bulkier with their bodies good for blocking, while Seth is an awkward string bean, an offensive striker who can slip through people quickly despite his height.

Again I know discussions about race can be tense, I am not trying to sound like I am attacking anybody, and I'm not calling out anyone in particular, I didn't even touch on how nicky is written in fanon or canon and how it can often be both racist and homophobic coming from my prospective as a gay latino.

Okay I'm tired sorry this took me so long to respond lol

#aftg #all for the game #fandom politics #tfc #the foxhole court #ask #mailob

[mrsrcbinscn]

Franny Sor Framagucci Robinson Character Sheet 

Dear Mom and Dad, I'll send money, I'm so rich that it ain't funny It oughtta be more than enough to get you through - (x)

Archetype — The Creator 

Birthday — January 17, 1980

Zodiac Sign — Capricorn

MBTI — ENFJ-A (The Protagonist — 93% Extroverted, 56% Intuitive, 60% Feeling, 60% Judging, 83% Assertive)

Enneagram — Type 3w2 — The Charmer

Temperament — Sanguine 

Hogwarts House — Slytherin Primary, Hufflepuff Primary model, Gryffindor Secondary

Moral Alignment —  Lawful Good

Primary Vice — Pride

Primary Virtue — Charity or Diligence 

Element — Air

Song —  A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Overview:

Government name  —  Darareaksmey Francine Sor Framagucci Robinson Name  —  Franny Robinson/Franny Sor Robinson Mother — Sophea “Sophie” Sor

Father — Adrien Framagucci (stepfather, legally adopted her), Peter Boyd (biological father)

Mother’s Occupation — Restaurant owner 

Father’s Occupation — Construction worker

Family Finances — grew up in poverty, insanely wealthy now

Birth Order — Youngest

Brothers — stepbrothers Gaston and Art Framagucci (mother legally adopted them, if you say ‘step’ Franny will kill you), claims no others but has biological half brothers from Peter Boyd; John-Curtis “JC”  Boyd, Timothy “Timmy” Boyd

Sisters — claims none, but has biological half sisters by Peter Boyd; Sarah Boyd, Stacy Boyd, Shyann Boyd 

Other Close Family — spreadsheet

Best Friend — Daniel Maitland, Molly Vaughn (deceased)

Other Friends — Lora Lopez, Serghei Anton, Delia Weiss, Vanessa Pham, others

Enemies — most men on principle 

Home Life During Childhood — It was a good childhood. Working the restaurant was normal to Franny so she didn’t realize it was abnormal at first. Her parents tried not to let the kids realize how poor they actually were. 

Town or City Name(s) — Payne Lake, Georgia

Any Sports or Clubs — In high school she was in drama, show choir, orchestra, National Honor Society, and on the quiz bowl team

Favorite Toy or Game — Franny honestly loved hide and seek well into her teenage years because she was small enough to fit it the weirdest places to hide, and in the 80s and 90s in a small town in Georgia there wasn’t much to do so her friend group played Extreme Hide and Seek. Everyone wears all black like some kind of cult. Turn off all the lights in the house. Go crazy. 

Schooling — K-12 in Payne Lake, Georgia ; B.A.s. in Musical Theatre Performance and Jazz Studies at NYU; M.A. in Jazz Studies at Pride U

Favorite Subject — Anything that wasn’t math or chemistry 

Popular or Loner — Popular, has always been magnetic 

Important Experiences or Events — Her first time on stage, getting enough scholarship money to justify going to NYU, quickly growing to love the nerd she hit up to buy her waffles and never letting him go, the accident that changed her life, marrying Cornelius Robinson, finding the magic singing frogs, adopting Wilbur, discovering the severity of her fertility issues in 2008, 

Nationality — American-Cambodian (born American, given Cambodian citizenship in 2019)

Culture — Franny identifies most strongly with Cambodian, followed by broadly Southeast Asian sometimes with Buddhist attached, and that’s tied with ‘Rural Southern (USA)’ sometimes with POC attached. Franny feels pretty detached from “American Culture” in general. She more closely would identify with Southern USA culture in general than with general American with no modifiers. She also feels a little detached from Asian American culture in general because even though she grew up right outside of Atlanta and is familiar with Atlanta, she didn’t grow up in one of the big hubs of Asian American culture like LA, San Francisco, or NYC. White American and Black American culture surrounded her, and the Asian cultures surrounding her were immigrant or first-gen cultures that hadn’t really developed an American flavor yet. Franny understood more about Vietnamese and Thai culture than she did about general Asian American culture for a long time, because immigrants straight from Southeast Asia were the only Asians she grew up around. And she grew up in the 80s and 90s where Asian representation was yellowface and Long Duk Dong. She didn’t meet any Asian Americans who didn’t speak or at least understand their heritage language until college. And the experience of POC as a whole in the South is very different to the experience of a white person, so sometimes Franny feel disconnected from her white southern neighbors and more closely relates to black or non-white Latinx southerners in ways she doesn’t relate to white southerners, or Asian Americans from LA or NYC. 

Religion and beliefs — Buddhist

Languages spoken— Khmer, English, Vietnamese, French, Italian, (less fluently) Portuguese, Spanish, (can understand some) Thai, Lao, (impressive tourist) German, Dutch

Physical Appearance

Face Claim —  Elodie Yung

Complexion — Tanned skin, pale brown 

Hair Colour — Black

Eye Colour — Brown

Height — 5’5

Tattoos — Yes, a few. Wilbur’s adoption date over her heart, most notably

Piercings — Lobe, upper lobe, tragus, helix, and cartilage on both ears, and an anti-tragus on her left ear. And a nose piercing she got in college

Common Hairstyle — typically keeps her hair long and done nicely but she cuts it and donates it from time to time so will also rock short hair

Clothing Style — vintage-inspired but not proper vintage

Mannerisms — Biting the pads of her thumbs, gesturing wildly, narrating her actions sometimes in song, if she’s looking for scissors she walks through the house making a scissors motion with her fingers

Usual Expression — she’s got resting bitch face 

Health

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — No, her immune system is the real MVP and when she does get sick she’s like ‘I’m dYING’

Physical Ailments —  Infertility 

Neurological Conditions — Depression, Cyclothymia (rapid cycles of depressive and hypomanic episodes)

Allergies —  none 

Grooming Habits — Typically rinses her body daily, uses soap on the armpits daily, but proper washes her body every other day. Washes her hair every two or three days as needed, but if she was extra sweaty that day it gets washed. Waxes leg hair and eyebrows. 

Sleeping Habits — she generally gets a decent amount of sleep but it isn’t usually all at once. She’s a champion power-napper, and if she has three days cleared she’ll often sleep mainly all at once except have like a 2-3 hour period of wakefulness and productivity and then go back to sleep for two more hours, then take an hour nap later in the day.  

Eating Habits —  She’s a grazer. She doesn’t usually sit down and eat three times a day she’ll sneak like five small meals a day

Exercise Habits —   works out at least three days a week somewhat because she’s really sensitive to when people comment on her body so she’s afraid to give people a reason to say a negative comment. Like. She’s body positive, big supporter of you don’t gotta be skinny to be beautiful or healthy. But when people say things like “oh Franny you got a little jiggle in those thighs” it’s never said like a good or neutral thing. She had a lot of body image issues throughout high school and college, and came dangerously close to developing an eating disorder freshman year at NYU but kind of logicked herself from the ledge  

Emotional Stability — generally emotionally stable, like for someone with her mental illnesses she does great 

Body Temperature — runs hot 

Sociability — A social butterfly

Addictions — None; did abuse adderall in college but when she quit cold turkey she didn’t like. Suffer cravings. She wasn’t addicted, but she did abuse it to the point she realized “oh I need to...stop”

Drug Use — occasional use of drugs to make her trip, like acid, shrooms, but this is very rare, she doesn’t do it at home, usually if she’s on the road with other musicians or has gone to LA or NYC or London for a few days to have a songwriting session, the group will sometimes partake. Even then not every time. Used to experiment with drugs more in college, but still it was never...a TON. 

Alcohol Use — More than occasional less than frequent

Your Character’s Character: 

Bad Habits — swearing, next to no filter, temper when it comes to perceived injustices, tends to overload herself 

Good Habits — Keeps a detailed planner, is a maniac about drinking lots of water, is vocal about her needs and boundaries 

Best Characteristic — her warmth! She really is friendly and easy to get along with and wants to be nice. But she will not be walked over and will not allow her kind, marshmallow husband to be walked over so she will flip a switch to protect herself or her boys. 

Worst Characteristic — unforgiving

Worst Memory — it’s a tie between her experience with sexual assault, and the time her biological father’s wife found out Franny was his biological child, and came into her mother’s restaurant when she was visiting with her pretty new HUSBAND, and Nancy Boyd proceeded to beat up Franny and her mother

Best Memory — Adopting Wilbur! It WAS marrying Cornelius but sorry Neil it’s her baby boy now

Proud of — Her husband, she is so proud to be Cornelius Robinson’s wife. She proud to be her mother’s daughter. And she’s proud of her accomplishments in music and philanthropy 

Embarrassed by — Nothing, she’s great

Driving Style — Oh, aggressive. She’s an offensive driver. Cusses. 

Strong Points —  she doesn’t quit, she’s the walk through hell and keep going type of person

Temperament — generally she’s pretty even-tempered. It’s easy to set her off in an instant though if you’re being racist, sexist - any type of shitty person tbh, or being shitty toward her husband or son, but for the most part she’s pretty chill. She deff has crazy bitch energy just under the surface though and you can tell

Attitude — Franny’s not particularly bitchy, but you know, she can be

Weakness — can’t do basic math, very overly self-critical, perfectionist

Fears — Something happening to Wilbur tbh. That’s her greatest fear, losing her son. 

Phobias — Franny does not throw up. She refuses. She will literally feel nauseous and horrible all day to avoid puking. It makes her so anxious, she will nOT. 

Secrets — None really? Like she doesn’t blab her life story to everyone but Cornelius knows everything about her. She has no secrets from her husband. 

Regrets — Not adopting more children when she and Cornelius got married knowing they both wanted a big family; ever meeting up with her biological father 

Feels Vulnerable When — She cries in front of people. Franny hates doing it. She’d rather die tbh

Pet Peeves — when people are rude to wait staff 

Conflicts — She sometimes feels a surge of resentment for her husband during her depressive episodes because she kind of feels like she’s pulled most of the weight in their marriage from Day 1 as far as running the home, and feels like although he purported to also want a big family he never even offered to take HIS turn pulling back from work so they could adopt a second child when it became clear it wasn’t gonna happen for them biologically, but then Franny hates herself for that because Cornelius is the kindest, most loving, most wonderful husband and father and she feels so privileged to call herself his wife and...yeah they just need to have a long talk about it tbh

Motivation — to be the best at everything she does; to force space for herself where she and people like her have previously been excluded, to be so great that you can’t ignore her

Short Term Goals and Hopes — have a baby, but she’s 40 now and knows its not gonna happen 

Long Term Goals and Hopes —she’s...kinda done everything she ever set out to do other than have lots of children

Sexuality — Bisexual, leans toward women, but had more experience with men because compulsory heterosexuality in the US in the 90s and early 2000s, and genuinely fell in love with a man are has been with just him for twenty years now

Exercise Routine  — Doesn’t spend much time on cardio because she gets enough cardio walking around town and Pride U. Mainly works on her core, legs, and strength training so if a man tries to grab her she can kick his ass

Day or Night Person — Would be nocturnal if she could be

Introvert or Extrovert — Extrovert

Optimist or Pessimist — She’s naturally pretty cynical but she’s worked for like twenty-five years to have a more optimistic outlook on things. It’s 50/50 now I’d say 

Likes and Styles:

Music — there isn’t really a genre she doesn’t like - like her initial fame was in jazz, but she has an equal affection for jazz and bluegrass/classic country/folk music. She also is in an indie band, Seoul Hanoi’d. And like rap music - usually old school Atlanta rap, but she likes Kendrick Lamar and some other current rappers.

Books — She likes to read or listen to audiobooks about pretty much any subject except music and musicians.

Foods — Cambodian food!!

Drinks — She likes sweet tea, aaaand her alcohol of choice is Anything

Animals — Possums :3 She wants a pet possum so bad, she follows pet possums on instagram and cries at their cute posts

Sports — She played tennis in high school, that’s the extent of her sports knowledge

Social Issues — all of them. Climate change, racial justice, intersectional feminism, VACCINATE ALL THE CHILDREN UNLESS THEY MEDICALLY CANNOT BE, de-mining, Green New Deal, punch Nazis, hey maybe don’t put children in cages, Myanmar can you please not do that genocide you’re doing that would be swell, poor people deserve access to healthcare and education, housing-first approach to homelessness, the good stuff 

Favorite Saying — “Hoes mad”, usually said dismissively when she receives a death threat after a political tweet, or after a racist one for just being an Asian woman in the public eye

Clothing — Franny prefers skirts, dresses, and jumpsuits/rompers to shirt + trousers

Jewelry — She never takes off her wedding ring. She’s married af

TV Shows — Schitt’s Creek, Kim’s Convenience, a lot of Canadian TV she really thinks is funny

Movies — She’s a big nerd that loves a good documentary or otherwise educational movie

Greatest Want — More children, including one biological child because her mother always talked about pregnancy and childbirth like it was the most humbling and empowering experience she’d ever had, and Franny wants that. But she’s 40 and knows she won’t have that. 

Greatest Need — a baby lmao

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — In a big-ass house in the wealthiest part of town, maybe even the biggest house 

Household furnishings — Not overdecorated. A lot of people live there, but Franny’s very much the lady of the house, and even more so than her husband is the head of the household. She’s not a dictator, like her mother-in-law and other relatives have added their touches to the home decor, but it is very much Franny’s Home with notes of the others. She’s very particular about her kitchen, but is very flexible with the rest of the common spaces. 

Most Cherished Possession — Family photographs of her mother and her family before the Khmer Rouge. Franny bears a striking resemblance to her Aunt Kesor, who was the older sister her mother had idolized, but who died during the Khmer Rouge years. Franny only knows of the resemblance from photographs.

Neighborhood — The rich people part of town 

Town or City Name — Swynlake, England

Details of Town or City — lol

Married Before — Cornelius is her first and only husband and unless he cheats on her she’s never ever leaving that man

Significant Other Before — nobody important 

Children — Wilbur Robinson, wants/wanted more

Relationship with Family — Close! Both to her in-laws, biological maternal family, and stepfamily

Car — 2020 Nissan Qashqai

Career — Singer, song-writer, musician, composer, musical actress, actress, university music professor

Dream Career — Musical actress

Dream Life — Married to Cornelius, with lots of kids, living her best life

Love Life — Happily married to the love of her life, her sunshine, the jelly to her fish, Cornelius Robinson

Talents or Skills — music, cooking, acting

Intelligence Level — High? Like she can’t do basic math but everything else. She’s a musical genius, is good with languages, and is pretty perceptive

Finances — Loaded

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — restaurant worker, event staff

Past Lovers — nobody worth mentioning 

Biggest Mistakes — “I don’t make mistakes”

Biggest Achievements — Grammys, induction into the Songwriters Hall of Fame, being the first Cambodian person to win a Grammy, International Bluegrass Music Association awards, ASCAP awards, and being awarded the national medal of the arts by Barack Obama in 2015 

#&&...hc #meet the robinsons