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#she didn’t read it apparently bc she asked Why which i answered p well on the blog
asteralien · 3 years
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who the FUCK told my mom about my “probably quitting or at least taking a long hiatus from writing” Wordpress blog post
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infinites-chaser · 3 years
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val’s mementos
(or: a working masterlist of my mlqc fics created mostly for my own sanity)
everything on this list has also been posted to my ao3!
currently accepting prompts from this prompt meme~
(while i will do my very best to fill every prompt with writing that i’m proud of pls keep in mind that some may take longer than others for any amount of reasons!)
Lucien
dark night fireworks- my first (published) mlqc fic <333 2nd person and entirely too pretentious (rumor has it even the author doesn’t really know what she was trying to convey except. n e u r o s c i e n c e and MEMORY is cool). slight spoilers for ch.16
watch the universe expand- a long, rambly attempt to explore lucien’s character and also evolutionary biology and evols told through excessive metaphor and bedtime stories. spoilers for lucien’s childhood and ch.13. im proud of this one ^^ though there is a lot of projection involved. also lucien is an enneagram five.
to dwell on- c: lucien and homes and him and mc being soft together that’s it <3 or in more coherent language some bittersweet fluff for lucien’s bday based on moments from his mini-house and his most recent bday karma + date. in hindsight i’ve realized i didn’t use his or MC’s name at all outside of dialogue LOL
king lear and other tragedies- a prompt for the librarian ask meme linked above! im p sure anon prompted me a month before i got around to actually writing an answer hndkslgj but. here we are. shakespeare and tragedies and parallels between characters and a lot of pretentious dialogue, meant to be an extension of/missing scene after lucien’s theater date. this only rly exists bc of a single line in the date mentioning the production being put on was king lear and i took that and ran for all it was worth
Gavin
just a summer thing- a short little scenario that manifested in my head one warm summer night when i should’ve been sleeping and my first foray into domestic!gavin territory <333 i’d say it’s probably one of my lightest fics, if not the lightest ahfksldg (also heavily inspired by the way @belovedstill writes gavin/mc pst basia’s fics are to die for)
under a golden sun- high school era gavin, MC and minor! originally intended for gavin’s bday except (1) i didn’t finish on time LOL and (2) the fic never mentions his bday oops. also in 2nd person though if you asked why i couldn’t tell you it just felt more right. ft. basketball and memories and a bit of bittersweet nostalgia. simultaneously has some of what i think is my weakest writing (in terms of pacing/consistent tone imo) and some of my favorite lines i’ve ever written for a gavin fic and i’ve come to appreciate it more over time bc of that c:
today, this is the whole universe (and that’s okay)- gavin, MC, and domestic, sleepy sundays. and a long ao3 title that’s it that’s the fic (narrator: and then, she never wrote anything purely fluffy ever again). heavily inspired by gavin’s sleepy morning asmr and that one clip of his cn voice actor playing/humming his theme (aka soft soft SOFTEST) also just. i said it already but all of my domestic!gavin is inspired by and exists thanks to the breathtaking writing of @belovedstill <333
in the wind- a semi(?)exploration of gavin’s wind but also just him loving mc bc that’s what he and his evol are all about. short and bittersweet <3 (if anyone’s keeping track i think this is where my writing starts to lean more on the uhhh descriptive side and becomes less dialogue-based? or i feel there’s a diff from this writing style compared to the earlier gavin fics (besides parts of under a golden sun) which is just interesting for me to think about but not relevant to the fic itself ahfklsdf) 
winter’s end- winter world!gavin and mc and a softer, more bittersweet reunion. m a j o r spoilers for ch.22 and what comes before. also gavin’s past. it hurt to write and apparently hurts to read b u t there’s a happy ending. i promise c:
sunrise to noon- a secret santa fic that ended up being less holiday related than I originally intended but like all things domestic and Gavin I think it works well as it is <3 just tender winter mornings and domesticity and the return of my fluff writing
Kiro
falling down the stairs of your smile- this was a prompt for the librarian prompt meme and doesn’t have an official title on the ask but here’s the title in all its long all-lowercase ao3 glory. basically the first few chapters from kiro’s perspective with slight spoilers from his past! kiro is such a joy to write and i love this a lot and im super glad i got the opportunity to write this (the waY i banged this out in one night when i got the ask askfsdkfksl)
[deleted by Key]- i have an idea and i’m s u p e r excited about it but no spoilers except this quote: ‘But that is how a tragedy like ours or King Lear breaks your heart— by making you believe that the ending might still be happy, until the very last minute.’- If We Were Villains, M.L. Rio.
Victor
Of Corgis and Christmas- a secret santa present for a victor stan that conjured some fluffy victor writing from my victor-less heart,,, a christmas miracle aND im lowkey proud of how it turned out but the highlights of the fic are Goldman and Cindy T-T they deserve more screentime and someday. i will write the subplot that got cut where Goldman sends Cindy embarrassing Victor stories to try to impress her and MC helps :>
spend my whole life searching- i combined 2 victor librarian asks from the librarian prompt meme above would u believe he's the only suitor I got twice 😔 this man is so popular and for what (only kidding ahdjdjs we just have a relationship of mutual disapproval dont mind me dragging him just a little i need to compensate for the appreciation I developed for him while writing this :>) this is similar to the kiro librarian fic in that it kinda gives vic's perspective on victor/MC's first in-game meeting with a healthy dose of and they were soulmates and angsty longing™ and also. victor is an enneagram one
Shaw
i started a few things a long time ago for him maybe someday i’ll finish them :’)
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firelxdykatara · 3 years
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I've read your thoughts on the noncon kiss between K/ataang (and I agree 100%), so I was wondering what your thoughts were on when Damon kept on trying to kiss Elena even after she rejected him?? (Also, I'm genuinely asking! I actually ship Delena, but this has just always bothered me.)
I suppose the simplest answer to this question is ‘I hold vampires with dodgy morals who began the show as villains to a different standard than I hold the heroic protagonist of a kid’s show’--because the fact of the matter is, Damon began the show as a villain. (And, not that it makes much of a difference, but I genuinely do not remember Damon trying to kiss Elena again after finding out that she was wearing vervain in the third episode--with the exception of the first episode of season 2, which was absolutely a horrible moment and I’ve never denied that. So where did he ‘[keep] on trying’? Genuine question, bc it’s been a while since I saw the early seasons of the show so I could be forgetting something.) Damon was unequivocally a villain and a monster in the beginning of the show, and his road to become a good man was long and not at all linear, and he was never going to be the Hero, because that’s just not who he is. (Which is ok, because not all good people have to be.)
The way the EIP kiss is presented, with absolutely nothing bridging the gap between that and Katara making out with Aang in the finale, it makes it seem like she figured out her feelings for him because he crossed her boundaries, rather than coming to that conclusion because she actually had romantic feelings for him and had worked through them on her own time. Aang makes his feelings her problem, without even asking her how she actually feels about him, and reveals that he assumed they would be in a relationship by now (because of the last time he kissed her without her consent, something that he phrases as mutual when it very much was not). This is especially an issue because it’s a children’s show, and this could very well be some of the target demographic’s first concept of consent in a romantic relationship--so the fact that there wasn’t even an attempt to point out that what Aang did was wrong and why, nevermind allow Katara to actually work through her feelings on screen, is a big problem, and when this gets brushed under the rug by Aang/Kataang fans it seriously bothers me.
By contrast, Elena was able to work through her feelings for Damon on her own time. He killed her brother at the beginning of season 2, unquestionably one of his worst actions in the entire show, and he had an arc where he began to realize that he actually cared about what he’d done--he actually cared about her, and was in love with her--and did everything he could to make it up to her. Crucially, though, he never actually made his feelings her problem, once he came to terms with them. He told her that he was in love with her, but then he compelled her to forget it so that she wouldn’t be burdened with that knowledge--and he backed the hell off. He didn’t even ask for her to forgive him until he was literally dying. And he accepted when she said that she still needed time--time he didn’t have--and didn’t actually push the issue until he was so delirious from the werewolf venom and in the middle of vivid hallucinations that he couldn’t control himself.
Elena kissed Damon at the end of season 2, thinking he was going to die--this was 100% initiated by her and unprompted by him, and it was her saying both ‘I forgive you’ and ‘goodbye’, because she thought he was about to die. (And he would have if Katherine hadn’t shown up with Klaus’ blood.) The next time they kissed, you could actually compare it to the Kataang surprise kisses--because when Damon kissed Elena in 3x10 it was unprompted (though she held the kiss and did not react negatively to it, unlike Katara who looked upset at the pre-invasion kiss and got angry at the EIP one)--but the important difference here is that Elena herself phrases it as a mutual kiss later on when she is talking to Stefan and wants to be open with him.
And the real crux of the matter here is, Elena’s feelings are always front and center in her relationship with Damon. She initiates most of their pre-relationship kisses--2x22, 3x19 (where she nearly fucking jumped his bones lmfao), 4x7--and the one where she didn’t is a kiss a kiss she describes as mutual, and as something she needs to confess to her ex-boyfriend to keep all her cards on the table. (Actually, I just went back to refresh my memory, and she doesn’t just say ‘we kissed’, like Damon said to Bonnie the next day. She says ‘There’s something I have to tell you. And it’s not because I feel guilty that it happened, it’s because I feel guilty that you don’t know. I kissed Damon.’ And then Stefan goes on to punch Damon because of it, because that doesn’t have any gross implications at all, but I’m not gonna go into that bc this isn’t an ‘I hate Stefan Salvatore’ rant. Yet.)
Elena chooses who she wants to say goodbye to in the season 3 finale. Elena chooses who she wants to be with in the beginning of season 4 (because, whatever she felt for Damon [and she owns those feelings and admits to them multiple times without prompting], she never had closure with Stefan, and she needed that before she was able to truly move on), and she chooses who she wants to spend the rest of her existence with after that.
Elena’s choice is crucial in her relationship with Damon, in a way that Katara’s never is with Aang. And I’m not trying to pretend that there aren’t a lot of elements to Damon and Elena’s relationship that aren’t questionable (he’s a 172-year-old vampire with a lot of murders in his past and a history of being a monster pre-redemption, and she’s an 18-year-old girl when they start dating), but again the difference there is that I have different standards for a) enemies-to-lovers relationships vs friends-to-lovers where they are on the same side from the start, and b) vampires vs Kid Heroes, so I’m going to have different expectations going in, and am probably going to react with more distaste to actions in one that might be comparatively tame, but still read very differently in different contexts.
It’s 100% understandable to have a line in the sand re: sexual violence/rape, but there are still vast differences in what is considered ‘par for the course’ in a show like TVD vs one like ATLA. In TVD, compelling humans is normal, and almost every vampire has had sex with humans under compulsion, so when this is brought out as some mark against Damon and only Damon, it makes me wonder why some fans hold him to a completely different standard than literally every other vampire on the show (possible exceptions being the ones who get turned during the show--although Caroline compelled Matt to forget she was a vampire and then continued her relationship with him sooooooo). Not liking TVD because it has issues with sexual violence/how consent is addressed when half the cast can take away the other half’s free will? Very valid. Not liking Damon, specifically, for these reasons when stanning characters like Stefan, Katherine, or.... p much any other vampire on the show???? Not so valid. 
Annnnd I’ll get off my soapbox now lmfao. I still have A Lot To Say apparently, and some day I’m gonna get into why the TVD fandom has such a weird relationship w the show’s issues with consent (like why Stefan and Katherine stans will call Damon a rapist while ignoring that their faves are also rapists by the very same metric), but I think that’s a bit beyond the scope of this ask.
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trinimac · 5 years
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okay so i went through the datamined books from eso, taking notes as i went. @boethiah sent me a message this morning about it, asking what i thought. so i figured i might as well get real comprehensive about taking down notes to answer decently, or at least do it to organize my thoughts. 
before she sent me that i hadn’t heard about this, so i went into it bright-faced and intrigued. i didn’t think my notes would end up too long, so i just figured i’d send them to her when i was done, even “talking” to her in the notes (you’ll see what i mean by that). 
but uh. as all things lore-related, i got a bit carried away. stopped almost halfway thru to go to class, and by then i’d started to notice some really weird, kinda silly shit in it. and then i noticed everybody in tesblr talking about it, and finally realized, “oh. so it’s like that.” so i figure i’ll post it here publicly instead.
despite the uh. obvious nonsense in a lot of this, i think there’s a lot of interesting things hidden away. so what i’m going to do is just post my notes under the read-more. i’m too lazy to organize them into something more coherent lol. they’re basically just me commenting on certain lines and stuff. 
i won’t like, really go into why most of this is stupid, bc other people have already done so, and better than i probably could’ve. but you’ll know. somethings i quote things and just. have no idea how to even address them other than, at best, “??????” either bc it doesn’t make much sense, eludes useful analysis, or is just stupid.
anyways, here goes:
book 1:
azura: - "the Path"? am i wrong or has a "Path" never been referenced in khajiiti lore?
khenarthi: - alkosh comforts khenarthi after lorkhaj died? yeah right. - khenarthi's role as psychopomp for azurah mirrors kyne's role for shor. but azura doesn't factor into nord/atmoran mythology at all.
jone and jode: - azurah cares for jone and jode? interesting. (also, "Bright Moons"? full moons?)
lorkhaj: - lorkhaj as "White Lion?" - namiira (the Great Darkness) followed lorkhaj as his burden? - mention of a "path" again, made by lorkhaj with purpose. sounds yokudan. - "in conflict with himself" & "represents the duality of the Khajiiti soul" ... desert and jungle ... strife, hardship, and life, love ... both tainted deadly by nirni, according to ahnissi - "We honor his sacrifice by walking the Path with purpose and resisting the call of the Dark." ... the Path again ... the Dark? namiira? - (the khajiit seem to conflate namira and nocturnal. this isn't a new concept, as they both genuinely do overlap in many ways, but an interesting one.) - "the true spirit of Lorkhaj will sometimes appear" ... "by Azurah" - nerevar/ine, "or Khenarthi" - hjalti, "or by his oldest name" - ...ysmir?
magrus: - all of this magrus stuff is new, to my knowledge. - the importance of him fleeing from "Boethra and Lorkhaj" probably excites you :P - "fell into the Moonshadow" ... "too full of fear to rule a sphere" ... "tore out his other eye" (odin parallel? a "failed" odin, maybe? unless seeing "out of one eye" is metaphorical) - "Varliance Gate"???? "Aether Prism"???? they're the sun, but those names are brand new afaik. overall a strange alternative to the story of magnus and the sun - "Some sorcerers hold that Magrus left the eye willingly" - more odin stuff
book 2:
- azurah knows all the names of all the spirits, their protonyms? that's interesting. a lot of that "protonymic" lore is derived from the whole "true names have power" stuff, popular in magical circles from sources like kabbalah thru the lens of crowley. - "And Fadomai told stories of her children and her favorite aspects of each of them. When she reached Azurah, she smiled and told her favored daughter she could not decide. And Fadomai died." ;----; - "sat in the Great Darkness for timeless ages" ... sat with namiira? - seems to have carved moonshadow from the great darkness. (the great darkness seems to have dual meaning as both oblivion and namiira. then again, i think only clan mother ahnissi said the great darkness was namiira, so that (morrowind) lore might be outdated.) - this scene with lorkhaj and his empty dark heart is......interesting. - "UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA NA MII RA UR DRA AZU RA" - you can pick out "namiira" and "azura" in this, but the meaning of "UR" and "DRA" elude me. - lorkhaj gets his heart torn out YET AGAIN. very rude azurah - the "Moon Beast" and its hunger remind me of the yokudan sep. - i think once upon the time "dro-m'Athra" referred to daedra in general, but i think eso has made them a specific type of daedra resembling khajiit. even more specifically, some kind of "dark khajiit" born from dead evil khajiit. - "lighting the fire with lanterns of love and mercy" - your vivec is showing, azurah. or i guess, the other way around. - this "ashes of Lorkhaj" bit gets me thinking about ysmir, again. but i'm not sure what to do with that.
book 3
sheggorath: - now THIS is a not shitty interpretation of sheggorath! he's not a "god of madness," but a god of mental fortitude, a god who tests convinction. - more stuff about "the Path" - "must be ... overcome before a Khajiit can visit Hermorah's library"? - "Sheggorath is dead and has been replaced by something Other" - the hero of kvatch? but if this is from eso, that hasn't happened yet? unless the mantling of sheogorath is a pretty common occurrence; i remember someone on tumblr suggested that this might happen every era.
orkha: - "Orkha ... followed Boethra back through the Many Paths" ... what does that mean? - "Lorkhaj, Khenarthi, and Boethra battled the demon in the ancient songs" - ... as trinimac? - "but Orkha could only be banished and would not die" ;) - "serve as tests along the Path" - so far these princes are being painted similarly to their house of troubles counterparts
dagon (also called merrunz.) - no reference to merrunz being the kitty cat. :( next - ...okay not really. "explore the Great Darkness rather than the Many Paths"? - molagh "tortured him until the creation of the World?" but "the wife of Molagh freed Merrunz"? who is "the wife of Molagh"?
molagh (balls) - "twelve Demon Kings"? should probably look into how they got that number - "Boethra and Molagh fought to a standstill before the lattice, but it was Azurah who shackled the Demon King with secrets only she knows." - i dont have anything to say about this really, just an interesting line i think. - "you will overcome him with the might of Boethra, the Will Against Rule." - interesting...afaik, aside from HAVING a khajiit name, boethiah never really factored into their faith that much, and wasn't ever mentioned in clan mother ahnissi. i wonder if azurah at some point attempted to unify her plans for the dunmer and the khajiit.
merid-nunda - interestingly, the khajiit seem to call her by her magna-ge name. - "False Spirit of Greed"? - magrus "loved only himself and his own creations"? idk if this seems all that congruent with the magrus from his own description - "cold spirit, born of light without love" - interesting - "blame her for orchestrating the death of might Lorkhaj"??!?!?!? what?????????? - "When Merid-Nunda dared assault the Lattice, Azurah struck her down before the Varliance Gate and dragged her away from it. She then cast Merid-Nunda into the Void and bound her there with mirrors. The nomads say she has since escaped." this whole thing is interesting
book 4
nirni: - nothing interesting on nirni.
y'ffer: - y'ffer "corrupted by the Great Darkness," (namira), who apparently killed nirni???!??! what??????? - worth noting that ahnissi doesn’t paint y’ffer as “corrupted” or evil or anything. in her words he’s kinda just a moron who doesn’t *get it* and does his own thing instead.  - don’t get the obsession with making namiira some like. crazy super evil being. feels like eso took a look at the list of princes and was like “who hasn’t tried to destroy/take over the world yet. that’s what daedric princes do right”
hircine - hircine doesn't get a funny ta'agra name, i guess. - graht-elk?
hermorah - hermorah helps azurah maintain the ja-kha'jay?
sangiin - according to what this says about sangiin, khajiit are actually NOT one of the most hedonistic races on tamriel. suuuuuuuuure, buddy.
book 5
- a look at the khajiit afterlife w/ azurah in moonshadow. - first you walk the sands, then you walk the glass, then you walk the thorns, then you have a good time, then azurah sends you back to nirn do something else (reincarnated)? but it might just be this one guy who goes off to do something ("Bring my children back"), he seems kinda special. no idea who he's supposed to be.
book 6
- all this shit about akha and alkosh and alkhan is bullshit. the fuck is akha even supposed to be? according to his name you'd assume an association with akatosh, but alkosh is akatosh, right?
akha: - this book says akha is the first cat. ahnissi says alkosh is the first cat. - "Pathfinder and the One Unmourned" - are we talking about akatosh or dagoth ur here. - "Many Paths"??? again?? what are they. knockoff walking ways? - "mated with the Winged Serpent of the East [akavir], the Dune Queen of the West [yokuda], and the Mother Mammoth of the North [atmora]. He then went to the South [pyandonea] and never returned." then alkosh shows up and says "yikes that akha guy was a little fucked huh?"
alkosh: - alkosh is "The Dragon King" and "Highmane." association with the Mane of the khajiit - "In time, the children of Akha overthrew [Alkosh] and scattered his body on the West Wind." ...??? is this a reference to the middle dawn? seems unlikely - apparently khenarthi put him back together. also seems unlikely
alkhan: - oh so the khajiit recognize alduin now too. cool.
boethra: - and boethiah i guess, why not????
mafala: - mafala has always been part of khajiit religion, tho, afaik. she is the og clan mother. - "She watches over Eight of the Many Paths, each of which a Khajiit must walk in time." ?????????? wtf are the many paths!!!!! why are there eight of them!!!!!! is this a reference to the spiral skein, or satellite realms (the spokes) of it? - forreal i think they gave up on pretense here when they started listing allies and shit. - "Her numbers are Eight and Sixteen, and these are two of her keys." this just sounds like something from the 36 lessons tbh. this doesn't sound like khajiit lore at all
book 7
lorkhaj (moon beast): - confusingly, lorkhaj as fadomai's favored son and lorkhaj as the moon beast are called by the same name, and despite this have separate entries in these books. - wonder if there's some equivalent in other myths to the moon beast. he seems pretty interesting, being "born of the dark heart of Lorkhaj" - there's UR DRA again, attached to namiira, again, who is apparently an enemy of the khajiit.
namiira: - apparently eso has rebranded namiira as like, an absolute enemy of the khajiit, with the dro-m'athra as her corrupted-khajiit minions or something? except i thought dro-m'athra originated from the moon beast? anyways, ahnissi only said that the great darkness became namiira. didn't say that was a bad thing necessarily. - also, her khajiiti ta'agra name, namiira, just so happens to be her protonym, NA MII RA.
noctra: - oh, so they do have nocturnal, as "noctra". - wait, so she's the "daughter of twilight"??? isn't twilight, idk, azura's thing???? (i feel like i've heard nocturnal be associated with twilight before, but it still makes little sense. it was probably from eso, too.) - boethra separated noctra from namiira. one could say she *stole* noctra from namiira ;) - noctra is ok by the khajiit, whereas her progenitor namiira is not. ok?
varmiina: - ok we have vaermina now too i guess. why the fuck not. - "The Lost Daughter. This spirit was not of any litter, but was born from Fadomai's fear of losing her children." - "Azurah killed this dark spirit in the Underworld" what the fuck is "the Underworld". they just be making shit up now
[?????] (no, really. that's what it says. dunno if that's a placeholder or intentional): - "[?????] A spirit of vengeance. It has no will of its own, as it was born from Azurah's grief after the death of Fadomai and Lorkhaj." ????? - "It sometimes appears in songs as a black panther, a warrior in ebony armor, or as a hidden sword." idk about "a black panther," but the "warrior in ebony armor" evokes ebonarm, who's technically still canon, and "a hidden sword" could be umbra. not sure what the connection here is.
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All for the video game ask. (do I need to mention only if u r comfy w/ it at this point). Love you!!
alright u done done it now bitchhhhhhhh are u READY 4 THIS SHIT (dshfa;lkj thamk i am so pumped ur my biggest enabler) i already answered a couple of these for anon but i’ll go ahead and answer them here as well
1. First game you played obsessively?hmmmm i wanna say the legend of spyro the eternal night? i played it so much i could beat the whole game in four hours. i’ve heard lots of ppl actually hated the legend of spyro trilogy but honestly they can suck my ass i loved them
2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc.uh besides my answer for anon of skyrim not many games have actually just straight up influenced my art style but i’ve been playing this game called Fe (not fire emblem just Fe) and i really want to draw fanart for it bc it’s super cute if that Counts as influence?
3. Who did you play with as a kid?if this is meant in terms of co-op games nobody bc we didn’t have anyif just in general, my sister for the most part. i’d watch her play things like resident evil and she’d help me with the hard parts in medievil and crash bandicoot warped (read: racing levels)
4. Who do you play with now?myself lmao i don’t rly like co-op and multiplayer games and i prefer to play most games by myself
5. Ever use cheat codes?like i told anon, no bc i don’t know how they work and i’d probably only use them for the sims anyways
6. Ever buy strategy guides?not really? once we bought the collectors edition for diablo II when i was little and it included the strategy guide which i stayed up all night to read (bc i had run out of other reading materials in the house) but like i don’t really use them idk
7. Any games you have multiple copies of?the sims three and i know you know the reason why but in case anybody else wants to know: i didn’t know they had actually completely changed the game since i had played it last probably a decade ago so i bought it @ walmart this year and then i got mad bc it apparently SUCKS ASS now so in search of a copy of the original version i bought a second one from amazon bc the Image being used WAS of the original case but it really was the new version so now i have two SHITTY SHITTY VERSIONS of a game i used to love that i will never play bc it’s shit except maybe i will bc apparently it has real life music in it just replaced with sims language which is amazing and this response is far too long for the question but i asked u if u were ready so u signed up 4 thisi also have an xbox version of it tht i got for like christmas or smth years ago and a,,,,,, ds version??? that i got last year bc somebody was selling “the original version of the game including every expansion pack” for only like $30 and it definitely said disk version but when i got it it was this Pre-owned Dirty Ds Cartridge Covered In What Looked Like Strawberry Jelly and when i tried to contact them they shut their page down so there’s that which equals four shitty shitty copies of the sims three and i will never be more mad about anything than i am about this
8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection?uh well back when i had a job i spent A Lot of money (to me it was a lot) to get the collectors edition of the last guardian so that would be my most expensive. other than that i would have to say one of the hardest to find (maybe not rare but not common)games i have currently is medievil for ps1 bc it took me like a week of searching to find a copy in good condition online for sale bc i rly wanted to own it again since we had to sell all my old games when we moved to oregon which sucked bc we had a Bunch of cool games (mostly early ps era)
9. Most regrettable purchase?did you see my rant about the sims three for answer 7? yeah
10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours?never lived in an area where that is A Thing
11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games?i wanna make a homestuck joke here (srsly probably not like i said i don’t rly do any type of co-op or multiplayer games so)
12. Ever get picked on for liking games?not really?? is that a Thing?
13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has?uh idk literally any COD game, basketball games, Fallout games, overwatch, anything that’s co-op, shooter games or sports related etc idk i’m a simple fellow these types of games don’t appeal to me
14. Favorite game music?idk what this means? like genre-wise??? idk abt stuff like that i just like good game music but i’ll tell you the fuck what, hiveswap music fuckin SLAPPED
15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick?fuck shit idk man i don’t rly want a tattoo maybe uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh smth that could be vague
16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL?idk rip lmao
17. Ever lose a friend over a game?Nah man i can’t even imagine smth as dumb as that unless they’re screaming racist or sexist slurs bc then friendship is terminated but otherwise like wtf it’s just a game,,,
18. Would you date someone that hates gaming?i mean?????? sure????????????? they don’t have to game with me??????????? unless they tell me I can’t game bc they don’t like it in which case Bye u controlling piece of shit
19. Favorite handheld console?u kno those games that used to come in sonic happy meals? yah (jk uh i don’t have much experience w/ handheld consoles besides nintendo ds-es and they’re cool)
20. Game that you know like the back of your hand?like i said i played spyro the eternal night so often i could beat it in four hours so probably that one.
21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now?the only games i didn’t like as a kid i p much still don’t like now
22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories?i am Poor
23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into?currently skyrim or stardew valley
24. First Pokemon game?I didn’t get to play any pokemon games until this year actually but i got myself pokemon y and ultra sun so those are my first two! although you Could technically say pokemon go bc i played that for the first time like One month before i got y and ultra sun but like idk if tht counts so *shrug emoji*
25. Were you ever an arcade game player?i never lived where arcades were a thing tbh
26. Ever form any gaming rivalries?Why
27. Game that makes you rage?there’s this absolutely adorable and INFURIATING game called so many me that’s a puzzle platformer but the controls are so ridiculously precise that it’s absolutely the WORST to play bc unless you do it just right at just the right millisecond you will die over and over and over
28. Ever play in a tournament?nah
29. What is your gaming set up?the livingroom tv and my mom’s xbox one or my bedroom with my ps4 i got for my birthday and my xbox 360 that i got like 7 years ago
30. How many consoles do you own?alright so If ds-es count i own,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, roughly seven? i have my new ps4 i got for my birthday last year, my 7 year old xbox 360, another xbox 360 i bought from a kid @ school, a ps1 i bought last year for the Nostalgia that’s in rly good condition, a rly old ds lite a rly old 3ds and my new pokeball 2dsxl. i would also say that the ps3 my aunt left when she died is mine bc my mom never used it and she had bought most of the games For Me and Her to play together anyways so the idea that she left it to my mom is,,,, Weird but my mom claims it was left to her so Shrug emoji
31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches?“virtual boy” i love it omg. uh not really i don’t use my ds-es that often bc i don’t have a just wild amount of games but when i do use them it doesn’t rly mess w/ my brain or eyes too much
32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic?probably not?
33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games?i don’t think so tbh
34. Do either of your parents play video games?my mom does but she really only plays like three games (the newest assassins creed, skyrim, and stardew valley)
35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop?nope
36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game?man have u ever heard of brotherhood a tale of two sons? mom told me abt it and she didn’t warn me abt how it ended and i had to leave the room and cry bc it broke my heart
37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination?i didn’t know that was a thing
38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like?i can’t think of any tbh. oh wait i take that back sonic unleashed it’s terrible but i love it
39. A sequel that you would die for them to make?maybe not a sequel but they rly need to come out with another stardew valley type thing or maybe expansions or smth so that you can talk to and befriend more ppl and stuff
40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls?never been able to try them but they look super fun and i can’t wait to see how they improve the technology
41. A genre that you just can’t get into?multi-player games period. also first person shooters and sports games. there’s more but i can’t remember the title of the game bc i don’t know what genre it would be lmao
42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness?i assume this means game related nerdiness not just my inherent nerdiness in general so probably the very first spyro game
43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else?all the time my dude
44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters?none
45. How are you at Mario Kart?probably shit i’m not good @ steering in games
46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon?i love them! i have like 100+ hours logged into stardew valley and i only got it in like november of last year
47. Do you like competitive games?not really
48. How long does it take your to customize your player character?so long. i either have to make them gorgeous or beautifully hideous
49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character?yah tbh lmao. i have like eight thief stone khajits in skyrim rn
50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create?i have a Lot of ideas and not all of them are good
51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep?forgetting to sleep, yes. forgetting to eat? no 
52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid?i was a very sheltered kid i didn’t know about new games coming out when i was little bc we didn’t have any way for me to find out About Them. i’m making up for it by begging as an adult for ni-no-kuni II and the new spyro trilogy remastered
53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days?depends on the game tbh some of it is good and a lot of ppl who make mods are rly talented but sometimes the big companies just make dlc to make more money so it can be rly shitty so it’s kinda a 50/50
54. Do you give in to Steam sales?heck yes rn i’m waiting for house flipper to go on sale bc i’ve been waiting for it to come out since i found out abt it
55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them?no my style of playing the sims was more along the lines of make a hundred houses that are all P Much The Same House and making a hundred familys and never playing literally any of them hadflskja;sdfjdslkhja i just liked building stuff and that’s why i’m pissed abt how much they changed the sims three bc it used to be Way Better
56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests?we didn’t have it but i did have zoo tycoon and i’d release the dinosaurs sometimes
57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements?legend of spyro the eternal night
58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick?uh!!! that’s too much pressure and i would get so bored playing them for the rest of my life even if i loved them so i will not choose
59. Do you play any cell phone games?sort of? i’m big into abyssrium and i like viridi if those Count?
60. Do you know the Konami Code???????????????????????? guess not
61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever?keep them forever!
62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game?i got the last guardian before getting the ps4 does that answer ur question? (jk that is not the only reason i wanted and got the ps4 but it was One big reason)
63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? nah
64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming?not really? i just use whatever i currently have bc i am lame
65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file?nope
66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it?not a nokia but we had this one handheld thing that had a bunch of games in it that included snake i just can’t remember what it was it had like letters and numbers and it needed like regular batteries and you could only play the games that came programmed on it 
67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share?i cannot think of any right off the top of my head even though i know i played a lot of video games and loved them when i was little. hm it might not count as like a gaming-related childhood memory and more of just a memory of a game but we did have one really interesting little game that i absolutely loved i think we only rented it but u were a scientist who could turn into a mouse and it was absolutely amazing i loved it i have no idea what it was called hm
68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool?not really we didn’t have arcades around where i grew up
69. In your opinion, best game ever made? there are a lot of rly good ones i can’t choose a best game
70. Very first game you ever beat? like i told anon i’m p sure it was crash bandicoot warped
WHEW this was rly fun thank u for enabling me it took me like two hours to answer this i’m so happy. ilu 2 man hope ur day has been rad!
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caspinn · 6 years
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Repeating Apologies - Chapter 6
Summary: The Winchesters, the Angel and the Indigo go to Greece to search the second Indigo Child (a species created to purify humanity). One of the three Indigo’s happens to be Dean’s soulmate, the one who can save him from the Mark of Cain. But he doesn’t know which one is it and he doesn’t know how he/she should be able to save him. When Dean gets aggressive, Valo shows what his personal Indigo-powers are.
Warnings: Well, violence, again :)
Enjoy!
Tarja helped Valo pack his stuff and the next morning, way too early, the two brothers, the Indigo and the Angel drove to the airport in.
Since Sam booked the tickets only three days in advance, the four guys weren’t sitting next to each other on the plane and were split in pairs. Dean was sitting at the window-side again, next to Castiel. Sam was sitting next to Valo some seats further in the middle row.
Hours ago, when Sam and Castiel came to pick up Valo and Dean, Sam had asked Dean, while Valo was still upstairs, if he wanted to sit next to Valo to get to know him better. Because it was Dean’s soulmate they were looking for after all. Dean declined and Sam, as usual, stayed calm and understanding. Castiel guessed that Sam knew his brother good enough to know why Dean didn’t want to sit next to the Indigo.
 This time, Castiel had bought some chewing gum for Dean in advance. He knew Dean would forget to buy it himself and he remembered Sam giving some gum to Dean on the previous flight. When the plane started to take off, Castiel saw Dean flinching a bit. Upon seeing that, he took the chewing gum out of the pocket of his trenchcoat and gave it to Dean.
“Sam told me last time that this helps,” the Angel said. Dean nodded and stuffed his mouth with the chewing gum. Castiel wanted to lighten Dean's mood.“You know, we only have to fly three hours this time.”
“Praise the lord,” Dean grunted sarcastically. Castiel just choses to ignore his tone – and his blasphemy, for that matter.
Castiel knew that Dean wouldn’t talk much, so he started to push some buttons on the television screen that hung in front of him. The Angel didn’t know what to watch so he tried to think about what Charlie liked to put on. She once called her favorite movies ‘classics’, so Castiel decided to start with those.
Dean surely noticed Castiel scratching his head, trying to find something to watch. After a few minutes, he even shooed Castiel’s hand away and started searching a movie instead. A few clicks later, Castiel heard the intro music from Star Wars.
“It’s a classic,” Dean, who immediately stared trough the window again,told him.
Once the title on the screen started scrolling up, Castiel frowned. “But Dean, this says episode four? Shouldn’t I start at one?” he asked. Dean once again turned his head to look at him with a frown. “Dude, you wanted a classic. The Phantom menace is not a classic, and neither are episode two and three. They don’t even come close.” Castiel gave him a long look, and then reached back out to the screen. “I want to start from the beginning,” he said resolutely. He ignored the eye-roll coming from Dean.
“That little kid, Anakin, he's a smart and talented youngster…” the Angel said when he paused the movie. Dean shrugged.
“I’ve seen the movies, Cas,” he said distractedly. He was focused on his screen, so Castiel peered to the side to check at what Dean was watching. Apparently, he found out how to follow the course of the plane on his screen.
“Dean, I have to ask something,” Castiel started carefully. When Dean didn’t react, the Angel just went on with his question. “Are you afraid of Valo?”
Dean frowned, but he didn’t look up. For a moment, Castiel thought he wouldn’t answer. But then Dean mumbled “No.”
“Then why don’t you want to sit next to him?”
“Because I don’t trust him.” Castiel had to think about that for a second.
“So?”
Dean finally looked at Castiel. “He could be a coldblooded killer, Cas!” he grunted. Castiel looked his friend in the eyes and saw a flash of an emotion he suddenly recognized. For an outsider, it must’ve looked like the two were doing a staring competition. Dean was already used to the angel’s glancing and staring and knew it meant that he was thinking about something.
Finally, Castiel decided to be honest.
“I think you’re afraid of yourself.” Dean cocked his eyebrow and chewed on the inside of his cheek. “You're afraid that you’ll do something to him without a good reason, just to hurt him. You’re afraid that he's innocent, Dean. Oh and you’re also afraid that you're going to like him.”
Dean looked confused and apparently decided to not react and just started to stare at his screen again. And some time later, when Cas resumed watching the rest of the movie, he heard Dean quietly mumble.
“I’d be better off sitting next to Sam.”
“No, you wouldn't. He would say the same thing I did,” Castiel countered while watching how another drone got slammed by a lightsaber.
“Yeah, but I can kill him in his sleep. You, on the other hand, aren’t that easy,” Dean mumbled sarcastically. Castiel chose not to bring up the Angel Blade he knew was under Dean’s possession.
 “Athens!” Sam said happily when they walked out of the airport.
“Yeah,” Valo sighed happily.“Is there any chance we’re going to make a trip to the Parthenon?”
Castiel wouldn’t mind it, it had been ages since he had seen the Parthenon, literally. Well, it actually had been ages since he had been in Greece, and he immediately noticed many changes from what he remembered. Things looked so… concrete. Maybe it had been more ages than he had thought.
The Angel was so startled to see cars driving through Athens, that he accidentally bumped into Dean who looked at Castiel like he was expecting the Angel to say something. So, Castiel acted like he meant to get Dean’s attention to ask a question.
“So, did Sam arrange conveyance?” Dean nodded and at the same moment, Castiel heard Sam, who was walking ahead, yell at them. He had found their rental car. The older Winchester mumbled some wishes about the car not being a Polo again.
“An old Clio, really, Sam?!” In the end, Dean still complained.
After some small arguing it was decided that Sam was to drive the car since Dean was too pigheaded to get behind the wheel. They had to search for a little while, but eventually they found a motel for the one night they would stay in Athens. It was something before noon, so the guys decided to find something to eat and just wander around a bit in Athens.
Well, Castiel already knew where they would wander to. Valo and Sam would do anything to see the Parthenon. So,two hours later and a climb later, they were standing in front of the old, cultural place of interest.
Valo was unstoppable. He ran around the Parthenon like an overexcited dog. He also couldn’t stop throwing facts around like “Did you know that the Persians once destroyed this beautiful temple, I think that happened around…hm..500 BC,” and “It was once made into a church and later rebuild to a mosque after the Turks conquered the land. But the Turkish had the smart idea to stock their munition in the temple while they were fighting against the Venetians and the Venetians had the even better idea to bomb the temple. So, after that the Parthenon was half-destroyed, again! That’s why it doesn’t have a roof, you know,” and of course “There were once a lot of statues in and around the temple, but if you want to see some of them, you have to head back to England, to the British museum, because some rich Lord once took them with him to England. You see, this temple has been trough a lot, it has been treated horrible through many era’s.”
It kind of sounded like he was talking about a person instead of a building, but Castiel liked the respect Valo had for the old culture. And while Valo kept walking around, Sam and Castiel tried to follow him.
After a while, when Valo stopped rattling and was standing still, staring happily to the building, Sam noticed that Dean didn’t follow them. Sam already looked a little bit panicked, so they walked around the temple again to see if Dean was falling behind somewhere.
They found him on the right side of the temple, sitting on the stone stairs next to the building, just staring at the columns and spying on some typical tourists with flowery, bright, matching shirts on.
When he saw Sam, Castiel and Valo waiting for him, he stood up and walked towards them. Noticing that Dean was very quiet, the Angel quickly looked behind him to watch Dean’s face and read utter frustration and annoyance. The Winchester’s eyes stood dark and his eyebrows were knot together.
At the exact moment Castiel wanted to ask Dean what was going on, Dean suddenly looked confused, then surprised and then furious. He turned around. And as he did that, Castiel was able to see Dean’s problem as well.
 Dean was staring into the eyes of a man with sunglasses and a cap on his head, who was holding Dean’s wallet. A pickpocket. The thief didn’t see Dean's reflexes coming, so he looked startled for half a second. When he turned to run, Dean already grabbed him by his shoulder. He started pushing the thief toward a column as Valo yelled “Not against the Parthenon, Dean!”
Dean quickly used his feet while holding the man’s shoulder, to press him against the ground. The thief fell on his back and looked panicked.
“Look man, here’s your wallet, p-p-please don’t hurt me!” the man stuttered desperately. Dean took his wallet and put it back in his pocket. The thief looked a bit relieved, thinking Dean would let him go now, but Castiel knew better. So did Sam, who yelled at Dean…but it was too late. With a firm fist, Dean started stomping on the thief’s face, and with every hit, he made sure the next one was even harder. Blood was spatting on the groundand his eyes were watching the man he was hitting like he was some sort of prey, not a person.
“Dean!” Sam grunted. When Valo started walking towards Dean, Castiel stopped him with one hand.
“It’s not safe, he won’t spare you,” Castiel warned him, but Valo kept going forward.
“He can’t hurt me,” he answered. That sure didn’t sound soothing at all. Castiel shot a glance at Sam, whose face and body had the same expression as his: ready to help or attack, but they were both waiting to see what would happen. Valo stood behind Dean and called him, but Dean was too far gone to notice. So Valo calmly grabbed Dean’s shoulder, a move that made Castiel take a step forward. Dean was startled and stopped slamming the thief to the ground. He turned his head slowly and looked Valo right in the eyes. Valo stared back, emotionless. Valo didn’t even look surprised when Dean grabbed the Indigo’s arm and jumped up, ready to fight Valo.
It took Valo some effort to dodge Dean’s moves, he got to endure a few hits. The mark made Dean almost unbeatable.
“If you still have…some decency….in that head of yours…you would stop fighting…next to this…sacred building…” Valo puffed while dodging and ducking. But a few minutes later, Valo finally got the message: Dean needed more than just dodging and talking to stop. Every second of this fight, Castiel was ready to jump in, but somehow, he was curious to see how Valo would handle this. Sam made a hand gesture to Castiel to make clear that he was also still waiting for the right moment to jump in. Castiel was wondering how long Valo would let Dean bedevil him.
It took only a few more hits for Valo to change his approach. Castiel immediately saw a change in Valo’s behavior and posture. He suddenly looked more powerful, more certain. This sudden change in appearance made him look bigger than Dean.
When Valo quick and efficient grabbed Dean’s hair and pulled his head back to look him in the eyes, Castiel started running. The Indigo suddenly showing his powers forced the Angel to make a sprint.
Although, Castiel didn’t know who he would have to save if these two would have started fighting. His knowledge about Indigo’s wasn’t that rich, so he had no clue who would win or lose when the powers of the Mark of Cain and an Indigo Child went up against each other.
In the corner of his eyes, Castiel saw Sam running towards the fight too. And when they got closer, almost close enough to touch Dean or Valo, they were thrown back with a shock. Landing on his back, Castiel realized that the Indigo must be able to make some sort of invisible force shield.
“IS DEAN LOCKED UP WITH AN INDIGO?!” he heard Sam yelling. While standing up, Castiel tried to think of a way to shut the shield down.
“An Indigo is apparently able to guard himself,it seems,” Castiel answered.
“Can’t you do anything about it?” Sam asked. Castiel tried to get closer, step by step, to be able to sense the shield. The mix of different kinds and sources of magic, almost made the force feel like a total new way of magic, like magic and powers from a creature that doesn't exist. But Castiel held on to it and sensed some sort of pattern in the magic the Indigo used to hold up the shield, woven into each other with very much care and detail.
“I can take down some of it, but there are many parts of this shield that I cannot handle with my Grace like this!” Castiel yelled at Sam who was standing a little bit back, so that he wouldn’t be thrown back by the shield again.
They were lucky, because they were in Greece on a moment almost no one was on holiday, so there were only a few tourists giving them strange looks. The scene must’ve looked weird for them. Two guys acting weird and aggressive, a literally bloody thief running away on the background and another dude making Doctor Strange-like signs with his hands.
While Cas was working on the shield, he could hear and see everything that was happening in the shield. Sam was staring at it too.
“Don’t ignore my words and just stop fighting, Winchester,” Valo said firm, with a tone where you don’t want to argue with while pulling Dean back by his hair. Dean kept struggling and tried to hit Valo some more, but the Indigo was too quick now and saw everything coming. The more Dean fought, the more power Valo gained, it seemed. At some point, right before Castiel had unraveled some parts of the shield, he saw something strange happening inside of it, that made Castiel even working faster. He called for Sam to come and watch it too.
Cas and Sam saw how Valo's eyes changed. His right eye started turning blue, so his whole eyeball was suddenly shining bright blue light, so bright that it was hard to look at for humans. But his right eye turned completely black, which looked utterly creepy and unnatural.
“There you see the proof that the guy really is an Indigo, Sam. The eye of an Angel, the eye of a Demon and the body of a human.”
Dean finally, but probably by accident, locked his eyes into Valo’s. The aggression on his face made place for surprise and just one second later he looked a bit freaked out, but stayed calm.
“But we don’t know if Valo is more demon, angel or human! We can’t guess what his next move will be!” Sam yelled, a bit angry from the stress.
“We wouldn’t be able to guess his move even if we knew what the head source of his powers would be. He’s still an Indigo and still has the three kinds of instinctsto rely on. We don’t know what the Indigo’s do or how they work Sam! We don’t know anything about them or their powers!” Castiel yelled back while he was working away the last piece of shield where he could lay his hands on. He was so focused he forgot to check on Dean and Valo a last time before he ran through the shield, but by running through he felt like his energy got drained and he fell back on the ground like a bag of useless potatoes.
He looked up to see if he lost the fight and one of the two got killed, but apparently Valo already had gotten out of Indigo-mode even before Cas walked trough the shield. Valo was just standing there, calmly, watching how Dean helped Cas to get up. And as soon as Castiel was standing again, he felt the shield completely disappear.
Sam came standing next to Cas and Dean and the three of them were staring at Valo, not knowing what to do or say. Dean seemed to be a little bit in shock, because normally he would be the first to say something.
“Well?” Valo asked, almost sounding like he was ready to face the music.
“Well,” Sam said a bit nervously while taking a small step forward. “I don’t know if we should lock you up now or not?” Sam at least stayed honest. Valo nodded, and it was Cas who came to good sense first.
“Let’s leave this place, people are staring at us.”
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sambashua · 7 years
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questions tag
I was tagged by the cutest sweetheart @shinwrons​ aka my fave penta stan thanks for tagging me mariah:D
What are your five favorite songs from your bias group?
as most peeps well know, my bg is SEVENTEEN TEEN TEEN and ugh i love all their songs so much this is a real struggle but i think Pretty U, Beautiful, NO F.U.N, Healing and Fronting are the ones I listen to most consistently ??? (this was my biggest struggle in my 19 years idk man i like all their songs listen to them all)
What are your five favorite songs (kpop) not from your bias group?
Well this is even more difficult but I’ll list some I’ve been listening to a lot recently bc I am super indecisive: Blackout by VIXX (bc i finally added it to my playlist thanks to cass), CAMO by BoA (dude this song is so good i’ve listened to it so much she is my queen), Running 2 U by NCT127 (ah this song is so lit by i wish it was longer tbh), Happy by WJSN (i go so hard to this song) and You Smile by ASTRO (this might be my favorite astro song ever idk i just love it so so much like i love baby a lot but 10/10 shoulda been their title imo)
(um okay so i can’t just put five bc i’m a ho so imma do another five girl groups and five boy groups and these are the ones i listen to a lot not just recently more like long-time faves idk) (also this is so much ya don’t gotta read this i just get eggcited abt music)
Why So Lonely by The Wonder Girls (this was one of my first favorite gg songs after mamamoo and hyuna and stuff so it holds a v special place in my hort and i used to watch the dance practice on repeat that whole summer lol i miss them now i’m crying), Like a Cat/Heart Attack by AOA (ugh i can’t choose between these songs i listen to both all the time i just love aoa and i hope choa rests well and gets better) (also have you seen the dp where they dance in cat onsies honestly iconic), Rollin’ by Brave Girls (the mv is trash but the dance is lit like how much thigh power do they possess i’ve tried and i can barely do it for one chorus like ?? but support them pls also deepened and yoohoo are jams ugh), Why by Taeyeon (aka the loml) and Free Somebody by Luna (aka the second loml) (oops also coloring book by oh my girl)
All In/Need U by Monsta X (i listen to these alllll the time), Heartbreaker by NCT 127 (AH I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH), Wake Me Up by B.A.P (jam of the century), Chained Up by VIXX (who doesn’t love this song tho) and Sherlock by SHINee (hoo hoo hoo what’s better than shinee’s back badadadadada)
What are your five favorite non-kpop songs?
I’ll just list my favorite song for my five favorite western artists! Falling by Florence & the Machine (but flo is my all time favorite artist ever and i love every single song she has ever released she is a musical genius), My Body Is a Cage by Arcade Fire, 4u by Blackbear, Woman by the 1975 and All You Are Is History by State Champs wait also My Brother Taught Me How to Swim by Passion Pit (ah i love all their songs so much) AH SHOOT also Still by The Japanese House okay that’s all~
Who is your bias and why do you like them?
hmmmm well idk abt you but i just hate jeon wonwoo what a gross nerd who reads a bunch o books and makes dumb puns and laughs unnecessarily hard at the pain of others and is generally very violent w skinship and can’t eat seafood and is wayyyy overconfident and always hides his hands if he’s wearing long sleeves and is generally very shy and introverted and is afraid of dogs and cried at me before you and thinks he’s the best gamer in the world and has the dorkiest,  most adorable smile where his nose crinkles up and wow how gross don’t like him at all idk what to say
What do you usually wear for winter/autumn/spring/summer? What’s your “style”?
ahhh mariah i totally agree w you~~ my ‘style’ is just generally comfy lol usually i wear leggings and a t-shirt tbh but my job requires me to wear real pants rip so for work i usually wear jeans and an okay shirt ? my staple piece is long sleeve t-shirts tho i wear them all the time even in summer here it gets p hot but if i can i wear log sleeves and pants bc i’m crazy apparently. i like sweaters a lot too and jeans but idk i’m just so lazy when it comes to fashion help me
For your bias group, what was your favorite hair style/era for each member?
um this is illegal ugh okay 
scoops~ either nice era or last summer for kcon ny w his grey/silver hair i mean come onnnnn
hannie~ ummm his is difficult bc he’s def had the most range w his hair... but i’m gonna have to say pretty u era bc ?? i liked it so much but i feel like a lot of people didn’t?? he looks good w any hair tho tbh (also to clarify i do not mean the extensions bc those were low key cursed just his bob okay)
shua~ BISH IF YOU THINK I WOULDN’T SAY NICE ERA PEACH SHUA THEN YOU DON’T KNOW ME AND I DON’T KNOW YOU
jun~ okay i seem super nice era biased?? but surprisingly i really loved his blonde hair i thought the styling was good and the HEADBAND yes but also boom boom era was iconic bye
hosh~ well hosh legit always looks good rip but i think i really loved pretty u (all the hats were so blessed) and boom boom eras! his light hair for mansae and the light blue/silver were also frickin bomb af but i generally prefer dark hair~
wonu~ i think i talked abt this before but i reallyyyyyyyy loved pretty u/shining diamonds concert ugh also ofd1 (shoot i can’t find any pics but it was basically this but softer or award shows 2016 ah plz he always looks good tho and his hair rn is so good too ugh it’s like ofd reminiscent (i had 400 tabs open for this i h8 me self)
jihoon~ wow okay def nice era once again! damn i shoulda just say nice era for everyone and called it a day rip but also come on adore u era was everyone’s fave fight me HA FOUND A POST WHICH COMPARES THE ERAS WOW BLESSED
dokyumie~ my fave for him was for sureeee adore u era! normally i prefer bangs but seokmin is one of a few boys who i actually prefer his hair up ???
gyu~ as expected probably pretty u era! he just looked like such a soft puppy LIKE HE SHOULD!! but damn his black hair is so good too bye
hao~ he is always the cutest lbr but he looked incredibleee w his silver hair for highlight and also pretty u bc i am such a ho for brown hair why
boo~ honey blonde boo is such a blessing but he looked so cute for adore u too how it was styled up a bit AND ALSO MANSAE OR NICE W THE RED BROWN COLOR ICONIC AND ROSE QUARTZ BOO IT WAS TOO SHORT LIVED
bernonnie~ high key anything after mansae era destroys my life but i’ll say pretty u just bc he looked so young and cute ahjgka but i mean nice, boom boom and dwc are illegally good too so (look how softtttt)
chan~ p r e t t y u just bc that’s when my son started to grow up cry also his hair before that era was so endlessly tragic why pledis (boom boom was also v v good tho)
How did you “discover” kpop and how did you discover vixx?
okay i was like why vixx bc i didn’t realize someone else wrote this lol but kpop in general i found through youtubers yes yes and i was like wow dope then i only listened to bts for a couple months and here i am now (you can find a more detailed synopsis in basically any questions tag i’ve done if you haven’t seen it by now lol) BUT WOW VIXX HOW INTERESTING OKAY so i liked chained up and dynamite ya know back in the early days of my kpop career so like early 2016 i think then that spring/summer 2016 i was like okay i like bts and svt but i know there’s more out there *clenches fist* so i set out on the yt channel learnkpopnameswithme (?) and i saw vixx and was like wow cool i know a bit abt them and i watched a couple and i think i saw error and was like hollup this is too damn intense bye so i still listened to their music and stuff but i thought there were unattractive and i hated ken (I AM SO SORRY I LOVE HIM NOW IT’S OKAY) but i think when milky way mv came out i was like wow how good and pure! and then a month or two ago i really started watching more of them and their variety lol. but in conclusion i’ve known their names for forever but i was like not into them much haaaa sorry
What does your phone case look like?
it’s this sparkly grey case that’s half clear and looks like mountains/waves/granite/??? depending on who you ask but everyone asks me if it’s broken smh
Do you normally browse tumblr on your phone or on pc?
usually phone unless i’m already on my computer ?? or if i’m writing a post ? like i’m on my laptop now so
How are you doing? Got any plans for the day/night?
doing greatttttt when i started writing this it was my birthday so i was like yay i have plans but now i kinda don’t lol rip
i’m only gonna tag people i’m close ish with?? bc i can’t come up w any different questions and these are p good! @king-hao @kyungminie @yooncheoly @atshinee @hoshi-ssi @jungnoir @moonhyook @s-lay-ing@everyonesabiaswrecker @taeismyking @honestlay ofc only do this if you want but i’d like to see your guy’s answers
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bygoneboy · 7 years
Text
passengers (2820)
one week before hyperion reaches habitat 7, the pathfinder team is brought out of cryogenic stasis. their first obstacle: shouldering the weight of what they’ve left behind.
scott ryder/liam kosta. 5886 words, sfw, falling in love over improper use of the tempest group chat. written for fun 15 days before andromeda’s launch so everything is Probably Very Wrong
DISCLAIMER: this fic is not based explicitly on the andromeda gameplay that’s been revealed so far, but there are still a few canon bits hidden here and there. if you don’t want to read spoilers then please don’t read.
The first thing Liam Kosta thinks after six-hundred years of cryogenic stasis is: Am I awake?
And then, when it’s apparent that he is: We made it, right? Did we make it?
And after that he isn’t thinking much of anything but thank God, thank God– are the others–? Oh my God, thank God, because no amount of experience in the field could really prepare anybody for something like this, and they’d known that going in.
SAM had brought Doctor T’Perro out of cryo first, and she spends a few more minutes helping a blurry-eyed Lieutenant Harper find her balance before she turns to Liam. His joints are stiff and creaky as hell but he’d expected that much; he doesn’t feel too terribly groggy, his speech isn’t coming slow. It had been like a cold bucket of water to the face, waking up. And a bit like the spine-tremor feeling of falling and being caught, right before impact. He remembers going under like it was yesterday. He feels sort of sick despite himself, recalling how long ago yesterday really was.
Nothing could’ve prepared him for this, either, the impossibly absolute realization– a few relay jumps, six centuries of AI-navigated-drifting. Quick as the pop of a flash grenade, and the world they’d left behind is dead and gone.
It’d come up a lot during training, of course, they’d said no regrets, no attachments, say good-bye to everyone you know. Take count of what you leave behind, they’d said, and Liam had straightened up and done his best. He’d made peace with family, friends, everyone who mattered and a few that didn’t. He’d called up every ex he’d ever had, just to say– you know, whatever heart-felt sort of things had come to mind, it was nice. Or even if it hadn’t been nice, you were real to me, and I knew you, and you knew me. And by the next conscious month of my life you’ll be dead, your grandchildren will be dead, your great-great-grandchildren might be alive, depending on the progression of human medical advancements, and I’ll be eons away still feeling like I’m twenty-five.
Don’t let it get to you, they’d said; “Keep still for me,” says T’Perro, and tugs at his chin with her thumb and forefinger.
She sweeps the omni-tool past his eyes in a slow horizontal line. The bright spots stay etched into his eyes even after she lowers the beam. T’Perro’s face was the last thing he’d seen before cryo-sleep had kicked in, and the first thing he’d seen waking up. Six-hundred years. Yesterday. Still feels like yesterday.
He needs to focus on breathing. The rise and fall of his chest, lungs expanding and contracting. He ticks through every piece of advice he’d ever given to shock victims back during his work in the field, how he’d broken them from their glassy-eyes and sagging mouth. “Naturally,” T’Perro says, when he admits to feeling light-headed. She doesn’t seem too sympathetic, and considering the length of asari lives, he’s not sure she could empathize even if he did try to explain. “It’ll pass,” she says instead, matter-of-fact, patting his arm, putting away her equipment. “You’ll have more pressing things to worry about soon. I would tell you it’s imperative to be emotionally vulnerable, but I’ve read your file.”
There’s a lot in his file. “What’re you saying, doc?”
“That you know about vulnerability. Speaking as your psychologist, I’m not sure you’ll need me.”
“And speaking as my physician?”
T’Perro looks amused. “You’ve been asleep for six-hundred years, Kosta,” she says. “You can count on feeling a little sore.”
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SARARYDER: good morning sleepyheads!! is everyone up?!?
CORAHARPER: up and feeling good
LIAMKOSTA: ready for whatever’s out there
SARARYDER: scott where are u!! answer!!
SCOTTRYDER: This isn’t a personal communication channel, Sara. We’re only supposed to use this to share important information with the Pathfinder’s ground crew.
SARARYDER: :P
SARARYDER: blocked unfollowed
SARARYDER: anyway
SARARYDER: does the hyperion’s coffee taste like the bottom of a batarian shoe to anyone else
SARARYDER: or is it just me
Their long-range scans have given them a rough map of the area. They’d notified SAM to wake the Pathfinder and his crew about a week before reaching the first potentially habitable planet, to give the ground team time to prepare and everyone else a minute to breathe. Now that he’s awake, though, Liam sort of wishes that he wasn’t, that they hadn’t.
They’ve arrived in Andromeda thirty-four years late.
“Oh, what the hell,” says Harper, both of their jumpsuits unzipped around their waists, sweating through their tank tops in the drive core as they examine one of the ship’s fried engines. “What’s a few more decades under our belt, right?”
He knows she’s just trying to make light of it, keep her head up. It’s not like they can do anything about it now. But Liam has to bite down to keep his worry behind his teeth: the Hyperion will run out of energy eventually. And what if every one of their golden planets has already been settled? What if there somehow isn’t room for them? What if– 
“Hey, are you just gonna sit there and watch?” Harper snaps him out of it with a well-aimed jab to his abdomen. “This strip-tease isn’t for you,” she says, flexing one bare, well-muscled arm, “could you try to make yourself useful?”
He pretends to hit her over the head with the wrench.
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SARARYDER: oh my god guess what you guys
SARARYDER: i was talking to sam this morning and i found out
SARARYDER: i am officially THE OLDER TWIN
SARARYDER: i came out of cryo 2 MINUTES BEFORE SCOTT
CORAHARPER: i don’t think it works that way
LIAMKOSTA: congrats?
SCOTTRYDER: Sara, why do you have to break up your messages like that? You know you can type everything out all at once, right?
SARARYDER: sorry baby bro
SARARYDER: am
SARARYDER: i
SARARYDER: bugging
SARARYDER: you
SCOTTRYDER: There has to be a way to mute this channel.
SARARYDER: if i know i aint tellin
Their Pathfinder calls them all together at 0600 and 2100 hours every day for short briefings, but there isn’t really much to say, not yet anyway. Mostly he gives ship status updates, answers questions if they have any, and reminds them to check in with T’Perro as often as they need. Alec Ryder has a practiced steadiness to him, the kind that reflects age and experience. He’s a bit of a hard-ass, the sort who’s fought fair and square for the right to be one. Beyond his military record and N7 credentials, Liam doesn’t actually know much about him– or about his son and daughter.
The fact that they were Alec’s blood hadn’t mattered during training. Most things hadn’t mattered during training, apart from what they were there to do, whether or not they could reave as well as they could shoot, how well they could work together. At face value the twins are joined at the hip: Sara is bright-eyed and approachable, she smiles easy, she’s passionate. Harper makes the mistake of asking about her work in Prothean research and Sara talks her ear off for two hours; later the same day Liam finds her trying to teach SAM what a joke is. He isn’t sure she gets any further than an asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar.
She probably should’ve thought about trying it out on her brother first.
Scott calls his father sir, he smiles but it’s tight at the edges. Maybe base camp had kicked all the happiness out of it, maybe Alec had. But someone must’ve said drop and give me twenty one time too many, because apparently Scott’s face has stuck that way.
He catches him staring off into space during more than one briefing, fixed on something distant outside the conference room viewport window; sometimes there’s a look in his eyes that he can’t seem to place, far-away, dazed, like he’s been sleeping for another six centuries longer than the rest of them. Like he’s constantly cycling back to re-remembering where he is, two million light years from the galaxy where they’d began.
Sometimes he notices Liam noticing.
Which is how Liam learns that the Pathfinder’s son flushes as easily as Sara smiles.
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SCOTTRYDER: Can I get a status update from everyone?
CORAHARPER: habitat 7 shuttle is ready to go and everything should be running smooth down in engineering. liam finished repairs on the drive core last night
SCOTTRYDER: Great. Thanks, you two.
LIAMKOSTA: nbd, glad to help
SCOTTRYDER: Sara?
SARARYDER: yeah uh watch out dad’s in a mood
SARARYDER: he actually yelled at me this morning for agreeing with him
SARARYDER: he’s just pissed off bc i used up all the ship’s hot water when i showered yesterday
SARARYDER: and then he had to take an ice bath lol
SCOTTRYDER: Sara, seriously.
SARARYDER: ok fine one of the relays almost exploded but i fixed it, no sweat, ur welcome
On his down-time– and there’s a lot of it– Liam takes his protein bars, does his two hours of fitness, and showers. He’s started rearranging his locker, to keep himself busy, but they hadn’t really brought a lot with them. There’s really not much to move around, so when he’s tired himself out doing that he starts polishing his guns. And when he’s scrubbed his cartridges clean to the point of wear and tear he gets Harper to let him have a go at hers.
Eventually he runs out of distractions. 
He starts thinking again.
Six-hundred years is a long time, even without being thirty-four years behind schedule. By the time they go planet-side, whoever’s already settled in will have passed them up with advancements far beyond their own. They’re at a disadvantage. There’s nothing they can do about it.
Six hundred years is a long time.
He shouldn’t be thinking about it. Which means he can’t stop thinking about it. T’Perro is right; he knows vulnerability. He’s been witness to all kinds of anxieties and fears, he’s equipped to wall off panic and reinstall calm, order, breathe. Go back to the start, why he’d joined the Initiative in the first place:
New beginnings, and the good of the galaxy.
For exploration, for progress and purpose, for the vast expanse of space that he’d dreamed of when he was young. Gazing out from the Citadel’s docking bay, staring up from London bridges, wondering where the stretch of stars ended. Where new worlds began.
For heroes, and everything they’d fought for.
He’d first heard of the Initiative while he was still working crisis response; his HUS-T1 squad had crossed paths with an Alliance support team and the plan for Andromeda had come up in the lapses between cycles. So much had sounded like a pipe dream back then– Reapers, Pathfinders– the sort of things that people talked themselves in circles about, things that never actually happened. But later he’d gotten a call from Ryder himself. And Commander Shepard had started stirring up trouble in military circles around the same time, pushing Reaper lore and calling for strengthened defense around Luna base. And suddenly pipe dreams had been as real as anything.
By the time news of Shepard’s death broke over military channels, Liam had started his training.
He remembers– he’d watched the funeral broadcast in the bunkroom with the rest of the trainees, packed in a tight circle around someone’s datapad screen. The Alliance buried an empty box; they hadn’t recovered his body. Shepard would want us united, Hackett had said in his speech, now more than ever, Liam remembers that so clearly. Remembers how everyone had felt like the Admiral had been talking to them: stand together. The galaxy needs heroes.
Shepard hadn’t been married, he didn’t have family. So when they folded the Alliance flag into twelve they’d handed it over to Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko, and then the cameras had cut away– but not before everyone saw him bring the flag to his lips, and then his heart.
The galaxy needs heroes, said Hackett. And something to live for.
He’s pretty sure everyone in the Alliance had been a little in love with the commander. His military record was an inspiration, the guy himself could charm the armor off of a varren. Most of the squads Liam worked with followed every move he made, every interview he gave; Shepard showed one ounce of interest in a new brand of omni-tool and suddenly they were sweeping the shelves. Shepard bought a Model 12 Locust and Kassa Fabrications sold out of them the day after. The man couldn’t sneeze without someone scanning the area for leftover heat signals.
So there were always rumors floating around, fiction-based stories spread around in heavily commercialized pulp magazines and weeklies. Commander Shepard: Double Life As An Omega Stripper! Commander Shepard: His Secret Earth Gang Affiliation! Commander Shepard: Savior Of The Citadel Revealed To Be Half-Krogan!
Liam had tried to ignore them, for the sake of decent morality. But then the Collectors hit, and morality went murky for everyone, and Commander Shepard: Back From The Dead carried some real merit, real hope. 
And Commander Shepard: In League With Cerberus? ended up running clear too.
All-in-all, Commander Shepard: Heartbreak On Horizon! wasn’t the hardest thing to believe. 
Yeah, he read that one for sure, the guy who bunked across from him had sent a copy to him over the extranet. And he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it at least a little bit thrilling, the idea of a love affair between Shepard and Alenko– the hero and the guy at his back, the soldier going to hell and back and the guy following him there. It probably wasn’t the most worthwhile thing he could’ve been doing with his time before lights-out, fantasizing over someone else’s very real, very dangerous, and very immediate life– but oh, man, that last issue had sure been something to keep a romantic up at night.
Not that it kept Liam up at night.
Much.
Not that it’s keeping him up now.
He’s always had a hard time sleeping in new spaces– in this case, in new space itself. And he’s learned that it’s better to get his brain focused on something else than to stay staring up at the ceiling, so he grabs his datapad, hauls himself out of his bunk, and wanders over to the mess hall. He figures he’ll dig around in the rations cupboard, find some freeze-dried ramen or something, read a little more Blasto.
Apparently, someone else has already had the same idea.
Scott is there when he walks in, his back to the door with one arm bracing the fridge open, staring into the shelves like the answer to geth-quarian peace is stuck somewhere behind the evaporated milk cartons. “Hey,” says Liam casually, and startles him so bad that his grip on the fridge door slips.
He steadies again, quick enough to keep it from slamming on his hand. But when he looks back up his shoulders have squared, body language tense and nervous. He rocks back on his heels. “Hey,” he says. 
“Can’t sleep?”
“Guess not. You?”
“Guess not,” says Liam.
They look at each other.
“Ryder,” SAM’s strange soft voice bursts static through the comm speakers, and they both flinch this time. “I’ve detected a significant change in your heat signature. Your heart-rate has also rapidly accelerated.”
“Wow. Uh–” Scott goes beet-red, eyes sliding away to a spot a foot above Liam’s head. “I’m good, SAM. I’m just– I’m great, thanks for, uh, sharing that, though.”
“Your well-being is my primary concern.”
“So you keep telling me.”
“Analysis of your tone of voice implies sarcasm.”
Scott huffs softly and turns back to the fridge. “Good catch,” he mutters, yanking out one of the packets of freeze-dried ice cream and letting the door slam shut with a gust of icy air. “Feel free to go offline anytime.”
“Remember, Ryder,” says SAM solemnly. “Those packets are individually rationed–”
“Anytime, SAM.”
There’s a quiet chirp as he deactivates. And then it’s just the hum of the fridge, and silence.
The ice cream packet crinkles in Scott’s hands. “Sorry. He can be–”
“Yeah,” says Liam, shrugging like whatever even though he’s feeling a little hot in the face himself, “don’t worry about it.” Scott is still flushed around the edges– soft edges, squared jaw. Stubble-patched and tired lines. Liam’s still not sure what color his eyes are. Light. Gray? But sometimes blue, reflecting whatever comes his way.
“Well,” says Scott, and clears his throat, “it’s late. I should– go.”
Liam almost laughs, wondering for half a second whether that’s supposed to be a line. But then he remembers who’s speaking; Scott Ryder is the last person who’d try to pick someone up in a mess hall at midnight. “Okay,” he answers, sliding into one of the chairs with his issue of Blasto pulled up on his datapad screen. “Have a good night, then.”
“Yeah, I’ll– see you around? I mean, of course I will, I’ll see you tomorrow. At the briefing,” He’s going a steady scarlet, white-knuckling his neapolitan like it’s to blame for everything. “You– take care, Kosta.”
It’s not the fastest retreat Liam has ever been witness to. You can’t spend time with Alliance soldiers and not see someone’s heels beating up dust in your wake.
It does, however, cut it very close.
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD] 
CORAHARPER: god i hope habitat 7 has better food than this
SARARYDER: what!? listen up that freeze dried imitation crab is to die for
CORAHARPER: yeah bc i’m more likely to die than enjoy it
SCOTTRYDER: Actually, the ice cream is pretty good too.
SARARYDER: oh my god stop the world my brother actually likes something
SCOTTRYDER: Shut up, Sara. I like plenty of things.
SARARYDER: okay fair
SARARYDER: for example
SARARYDER: you like sucking the joy out of life
LIAMKOSTA: and ending texts with periods
CORAHARPER: and staring at liam during briefings
SARARYDER: woooooow
SARARYDER: called tf out
LIAMKOSTA: that’s out of line, cora
CORAHARPER: is it though?
CORAHARPER: technically i outrank him
SCOTTRYDER: I don’t stare at anyone. I just get distracted sometimes.
SARARYDER: i’m lauhgin g
SARARYDER: ‘distracted’
CORAHARPER: sounds fake but okay
SARARYDER: cora pls
SARARYDER: cora i’m dying
LIAMKOSTA: are you sure that’s not the imitation crab talking, sara?
SARARYDER: ASDFGHJKL;
Living out of a shoebox means his whole world is in a locker, and maybe that’s why he keeps coming back to it. Dragging his things out onto the floor, scrubbing up to his elbow with an oil-stained cloth– for some reason, no matter how hard he works, it never seems any brighter when he stops to take a closer look.
He can think of a few real-life scenarios to apply that to.
“Hey,” Scott says, interrupting his train-wreck of thought and flipping his stomach over instead. “Do you have a minute?” He’s standing a good five feet back with his hands in his issued-Initiative-blues pockets, watching Liam sort through his stuff for what must be the fifth time at least– he would know if he was counting, he’s sort of trying not to, though.
“I’ve got more than a minute.” He wipes his palms on his thighs, then wipes them again when the sweat seems to stick. “What’s up?“
“Just trying to get a sense of where the crew’s at,” Scott says, eyeing up Liam’s ongoing project. “What– are you spring cleaning?”
“Whatever kills time,” Liam says wryly, lifting one shoulder, letting it drop. “How long until we hit Habitat 7?”
“T-minus three days. You ready?”
“Honestly, I’d feel underprepared no matter what. You can’t really be ready for something like this, right?”
“Right,” Scott echoes. “That’s…what I keep telling myself, anyway.” He shifts on his feet, restless, stiff-backed. At ease, Liam thinks, but whether or not it would help, he isn’t sure. “So, uh,” he gestures to the pile at Liam’s feet. “This is all you, huh. Give me the tour.”
He chuckles, but it sticks like the sweat. “Nothing impressive. Just a few things I grabbed from home, backed-up transmissions. I had my family and friends record some before we went under. Snagged some Corellian whiskey, too, and– oh, yeah–” He crouches down, fumbling for the Normandy model. “There’s this, heads-up–”
Scott catches it easy, one-handed. A spark of interest lights up behind his eyes as he turns it over between his palms, “Shepard’s ship?”
“Yeah!” says Liam, stupidly enthusiastic. “I mean, er– yeah. I don’t know why I grabbed it, it’s not great, like, practicality-wise…” He wipes at the back of his neck, feeling his face heat up. “It’s signed, it’s– got his signature. Not that I ever met him, the Alliance was auctioning it off at a fundraiser and I spent a quarter of my credit savings on it. Figured I wouldn’t need those here, anyway, so– you know? I thought, why the hell not.”
“You admire him.”
“I did.”
“Past tense,” says Scott.
He’s like that, Liam is learning. He really listens, pays attention, maybe more closely than’s good for anybody. His chest is tight, like it’s fit with armor two times too small. Shepard’s gone, he should say. They all are, everyone we knew. He’d known they’d be; he thought he’d been ready. But it just hadn’t hit him. Not until he woke up, and felt the weight of every century settle down somewhere in his gut.
Scott runs the tip of one finger over the starboard wing. “He was a good man,” he says, filling the space of Liam’s silence. “He had a good crew. What did you think about all that Reaper stuff, did you believe that?”
“Yeah,” Liam says quietly, “I believed it. I still believe it. Although I guess it isn’t really relevant anymore. Being– two million light-years away. And all that.”
“Not unless they’ve got Reapers here, too. You won’t be disappointed if we don’t find any, will you?”
Liam doesn’t laugh the same way Scott doesn’t smile; they both give it a try anyway. There’s common ground somewhere in the middle, there must be: a compromise, thick throats but steady hands. “Believe me,” he says. “I’m not holding my breath.”
“Me neither,” says Scott. “Not for that.”
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SCOTTRYDER: Hey, Liam. I really enjoyed our chat yesterday. We should talk again soon.
SARARYDER: what??
SARARYDER: oh. OHO
CORAHARPER: is there a reason you’re posting this on the team forum
SARARYDER: ohhhh boy
SARARYDER: ohhhh man
SCOTTRYDER: I apologize, everyone. I meant to send that privately.
CORAHARPER: how come you never have these “chats” with me?
SARARYDER: CALL HIM OUT
LIAMKOSTA: down, harper. jesus, you two
LIAMKOSTA: i enjoyed talking to you too, scott
CORAHARPER: consider my feelings officially hurt
SARARYDER: i love u all so much pls never change
Alec Ryder begins the next day’s morning conference with a not-so-gentle reminder that there are, actually, individual rations on the freeze-dried ice cream.
And Habitat 7, he announces, with his arms folded firmly across his chest, will most likely not be stocked with the stuff.
So whoever’s been sneaking extra portions should know that once it’s gone, it’s gone for good.
The subject is dropped after that and they move onto a briefing of local fauna from there. Across the table Scott is dead quiet, and very interested in the grain-pattern of the table; Liam has to bite his tongue to keep from laughing, straight-out.
That night he goes back to the mess. But it’s empty and stays empty, through two (individually rationed) ramen packets and a quarter chapter of his now embarrassingly over-read copy of Blasto: Eternity is Forever.
“Liam,” says SAM. “If you are still experiencing difficulty falling asleep, there are multiple sleeping aids available in the medical bay.”
“Oh– no thanks, SAM. I’m good.”
“Perhaps I could attempt to improve your mood. Sara has often implied that humor is appropriate in attempting to lift one’s spirits.”
“That…depends on what your definition of humor is, I think.”
“I will proceed momentarily,” says SAM, sounding as pleased as an AI can manage to sound. “Scanning– transferring data files. Transfer complete: an asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar.” 
“Does the punchline involve Omega strippers and batarian shard wine?”
“Possibly.”
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SCOTTRYDER: hi everyone my name is scott
SCOTTRYDER: i like long walks on the beach at sunset and crisis response specialists ;)))
SCOTTRYDER: i also have an insatiable sweet tooth and fhdfdkjglkfjghksgohjlk’l;45
LIAMKOSTA: ???
CORAHARPER: oh my god
SCOTTRYDER: Fuck you, Sara!
SARARYDER: keep 👏 ur 👏 hands 👏 off 👏 my 👏 ice 👏 cream
The Hyperion isn’t called an Ark for nothing. It’s huge, on a new-age scale, and it’s frighteningly easy to keep to yourself, if you’re not careful.
That being said, Liam isn’t sure how he and Scott seem to keep managing to run into each other.
He wonders if this is just something else he’ll have to get used to: the mess hall door hissing open, his brain short-circuiting. Scott giving him that wonky not-smile and Liam thinking hey, thinking come here often? Fumbling for something smoother: what’s a guy like you doing on a ship like this?
Maybe he’d have better luck with something from Blasto. With false confidence: is that a thermal clip in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
“You should be getting some shut-eye,” says Scott, just honest, tired lines and three-day stubble.
“I was about to say the same thing,” says Liam, which is such a shit lie. “Are you back to check out the ice cream reserves? I’ve heard they’ve been dwindling.”
Scott flushes; Liam knew he would. “No,” he says. “Actually, I’m– SAM says you’re having trouble sleeping.”
Snitch. Liam glares half-heartedly at the comm, but the AI stays annoyingly silent, and Scott is waiting on an answer. “It’s nothing. I’m still just getting used to everything, that’s all.”
“He also says–” Scott looks troubled. “That you haven’t really…spent time with anyone else.”
Snitch! “SAM,” Liam says, exasperated. “Really?”
“I am required to report stress-induced complications of this kind.”
“Complications–! Scott, I’m fine.”
“Okay,” says Scott. But he doesn’t look convinced. “Well, I wanted to check in, just in case– I know you know this, but the worst thing you could do right now is–”
“Isolate myself. Yeah.” He does know; ergo, should know better. He’s seen it before, out in the field: division members who’d felt too deeply and seen too much, who stopped being seen at all. Separating from their squad. Becoming the ghosts of the victims they were too late to save.
“We could talk about it, if you want,” offers Scott. “Or– we could try something else? Stop me if you’ve heard this one before; an asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar.”
Of course he’s heard it before. But he’s not about to stop him, it’s a classic. That’s sort of the problem with it, actually, you can never be sure which punchline was the original, which answer is meant to be the right one. There are so many damn ways it could go. An asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar; the volus walks under it. An asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar; only the krogan walks back out.
An asari, a turian, and a krogan walk into a bar.
The human shows up thirty-four years late and says, what’d I miss?
“You can’t give up,” Scott says, pulling a hand through his hair, “I don’t actually know the punchline.”
His ears have gone red, again, around the edges, eyes shifting: Liam’s started to commit that face to memory, every time he sees it. Locking it up somewhere safe, somewhere in the center of his chest, behind his bones. I won’t give up if you don’t, he could say. Or they could skip the bullshit and try again: A human walks into the mess hall at midnight, and Scott Ryder says ‘I should go’.
You know how many humans it takes to save the galaxy, Ryder? Twenty thousand and one: twenty thousand to leave before the fight’s even started, and Commander Shepard to stay behind and deal with whatever bullshit they’ve left behind.
“You’re worse than SAM,” says Liam. Instead of what he could, or should, or any of that. Instead of a heart-to-heart, a real one, for the sake of sanity and the rest.
“I know,” says Scott. “I really am.” He puts his hands in his pockets, tips his head toward the door. “C’mon. Let’s take a walk.”
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD] 
SARARYDER: hey liam
LIAMKOSTA: what’s up?
SARARYDER: hey scott
SCOTTRYDER: Yes?
SARARYDER: lol
LIAMKOSTA: do you need us for something or??
SARARYDER: nah just trying to settle a bet with cora
LIAMKOSTA: sara it’s two in the morning
SARARYDER: and yet…ur both up…
SARARYDER: suspicious…
The habitation deck is dark and deserted, with the Pathfinder crew all bunked away like good soldiers, the rest of humanity along for their cryo-ride. The only thing keeping Liam from tripping over his own feet is five years of field experience and the blue emergency lights, glowing softly along the hall edges.
“Everyone’s here for their own reasons,” Scott tells him. “My father calls it his responsibility. Sara says it’s her calling– turn here, it’s just around that corner.”
There’s the hiss of a door’s hydraulics; Scott steers him through, fingers steady at his elbow. Whatever room they’re in is even darker than the hallway. Scott is just a low voice, warm breath at his ear.
“Every time I went out past the Sol relay I could always map my way home. I could look up and know where I was. Even if we were right out at the edge of the traverse, I could look out and say, there, that’s Fortuna. And from there, the Annos Basin, and the relay to Arcturus, and I could work my way to the Citadel, just stargazing…SAM?”
“Yes, Ryder.”
“Open the observation deck shutters, please.”
Light filters in as the night-cycle shutters draw back from the viewport windows. He’s been on the observation deck before, but never like this, with the lights cast low and Andromeda’s stars painted from floor-to-ceiling. Definitely never with Scott Ryder’s hand splaying flat across his back.
“Maybe it was only in my head. But it was like a tether. Knowing I could map myself back home again, whenever I wanted.”
Focus on breathing. The rise and fall of your chest. Their arms brush when he shifts his weight, and Liam pretends he can feel the heat of him, the thermal clipped waves. I bet you bring all the girls here. “Earth’s a long way from here,” he says. “A long way, Ryder.”
“It’s still out there, though.”
Six-hundred years. Liam didn’t know it would be so heavy, all that leftover indecision mixing with doubt. Afraid to be left behind, of what he’s left behind. Afraid to be here, too, in the first real uncharted world of their lives.
“Scott,” he says, “can you tell me– why’d you join up?”
“With the Initiative?”
“Yeah, you know, new beginnings…?”
“Uh,” Scott looks embarrassed. “I don’t know, I just…Dad wanted Sara to go. And Sara, she did really want to go, it was all she used to talk about. And I’d spent so many years watching everyone else go off to fight, the adrenaline of it all, the glory…back then I thought I wanted that, too. So when Dad signed on, and Sara, too– I couldn’t stand the thought of–”
Pipe dreams, Liam thinks. Empty boxes and folded flags and being left behind, in a galaxy without a hero.
“I didn’t want to be alone,” Scott says, very softly.
He’s close enough that Liam can see the shadow of his lashes against his cheek, and hear him swallow. He’s close enough to kiss; he wonders whether Scott would let him. He thinks there might be a sliver of something in his face that says he should, but maybe it’s just the light of stars they don’t have names for, reflecting off of the surface of Habitat 7. Maybe it’s just Hyperion’s low-power glow reflecting in his eyes, relay-blue and soft the way Liam feels, on the edge of everything unknown, on the verge of something incredible.
Those eyes would reflect anything.
“Ryder,” says SAM, “Habitat 7 is within range of short-distance scans. The Pathfinder is requesting your presence.”
Whatever spell had been caught between them, it’s broken now. Scott blinks and sighs, and rolls one shoulder. “Fathers,” he says, shaking his head as though it’s an old joke of theirs, but Liam knows better; Scott only has one joke in his arsenal and he still doesn’t know its punchline. “I should go,” he says, like a damn hero. “I’ll see you on board the shuttle.”
Despite the unknowns: Scott is going to carry him to hell and back; somehow, he’s sure of it.
Damn the unknowns:
Liam is going to let him.
“You know,” Scott says as the door hisses open, swiveling back around with his hands in his pockets, shy almost-smile and shoulders squared, “I think he’d really be proud of us– Shepard would, I mean, don’t you think?”
Liam’s heart thuds once, twice, out-of-rhythm. Skips a beat and then goes on beating, high in his chest, filling the hollow of his throat.
“Yeah,” says Liam. “I reckon he would be.”
[TEAM MESSAGE BOARD]
SCOTTRYDER: All right, team, we’ve got the green light. Who’s ready to set up some outposts?
SARARYDER: i’m ready!!
CORAHARPER: beyond ready
LIAMKOSTA: born ready
SCOTTRYDER: Let’s move out!
SCOTTRYDER: Liam, I don’t know what we’ll find down there, but I just wanted to tell you…there’s a lot I didn’t get to say, last night. But it’s been a real honor, getting to know you. And I promise you: I’ve got your back.
CORAHARPER: oh scott
LIAMKOSTA: why are you like this
CORAHARPER: poor scott
LIAMKOSTA: someone seriously needs to show him how to work this thing
CORAHARPER: scott come back
CORAHARPER: you can’t pour your heart out on the team forum and then leave
SARARYDER: THAT’S TWENTY CREDITS YOU OWE ME HARPER
SARARYDER: PAY UP
In the end, Liam thinks, as the shuttle engines flare to life, as the shuttle bay doors yawn open, as the Hyperion shrinks behind them–
Maybe they don’t need a punchline at all.
20,000 humans cross into Andromeda galaxy.
20,000 humans sleep for six-hundred and thirty-four years.
One human stares off into space and says: I didn’t want to be alone.
And the other says: I know.
The other says: you aren’t.
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thewishingcap · 7 years
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Hello. I noticed in the section titled "about fleets" that you are an INTJ. I am an INTP and I'm interested in what it's really like to be an INTJ, since of course the stereotypes aren't very accurate and the testing sites don't always get the full picture. Also, if you can, could you please list what you think the types would be for the characters you write about (besides Vaati)
Hi there anon!
(this… this turned out to be super long. I’m self absorbed apparently. aha)
Hmmm. What it’s like to be me huh. I’ve taken the test at least 5 times spread out across years and I’ve always only scored INTJ and agree with a lot of the descriptions haha. It uh… it kind of makes me sound like an ass. And I guess I am, and I’ve said that before, but I got comments telling me people didn’t believe me. But I’m an ass, and, well, more on that on the last few paragraphs but first: 
I think the part that struck me the most when reading the descriptions of INTJ was that we don’t think things are impossible. Nothing is impossible to achieve, though some things might be difficult. It’s not straight up idealism, just… I guess a sort of arrogant logical truth. If I can’t achieve something, it’s because I was lazy, or didn’t think the effort to get there is worth the result (like, if I really wanted to be an astronaut I could find some way to do it. Going to space sounds totally cool, but would I actually expend effort in it? Well, no, given that my baseline capability, my financial situation, and my mental health among other things… i wouldn’t be able to reasonably handle it. But possible? With enough time? Absolutely. Or I want to be a pro basketball player even though I don’t have the height for it? Will it be hard to succeed? Well hells yeah I’m starting with a disadvantage that I have no control over that other people don’t have to deal with. But impossible? Not if I try hard enough and take advantage of every advantage I could possibly find). 
… not saying people should agree with me on the above, but that’s just my approach to life in general and served me well so far. 
I guess the most important idea to me is that, if I’m not doing something, it’s not because of some outside forces that I wasn’t able to do it. It’s because I actively chose not to do it. It brings the responsibility of both my successes and failures onto me, alone, and even if it sucks sometimes I like the concept. 
And telling me I can’t do something is absolutely the way to get me to think of a way to do that very thing. 
I like rules. I like logic. I don’t like making situational rules that have no basis of fairness. I enjoy seemingly illogical contradictions that still, on some level, follow some kind of rule (even random-seeming characters that I write still have their own personal rules that make sense to them). I also like situations with loopholes that aren’t explicitly covered in the rules (kind of going back to point 1… sometimes solutions are there if you’re creative enough or a dick enough to find them. Does it seem fair? Not always. Is it fair? Absolutely, according to the rules, and I expect the rest to adhere to the same kind of dickery because it’s equally available to all, not just myself). 
Also I don’t do social. At least, I only do it on my own terms. Invite me to a party I hadn’t planned, and I’ll probably bail. I almost always have some kind of schedule on when I’m doing what, and for how long, and I tend to plan this days or even weeks in advance (and because these don’t include social hangouts, usually, unless I was the one to plan it, accepting these invitations tend to give me more stress than anything). Another thing I agree with the profiling: I’m unapologetically blunt, to both strangers and friends alike, if they do something I’m not fly with. People might get butthurt but they know where I stand.
One thing I disagree with on most of the descriptions from INTJ tests is that they often say INTJs ‘think carefully before they speak,’ or ‘are intelligent,’ or ‘present carefully constructed thought out answers to questions.’ I don’t see myself as any of these things. I usually say the first dum thing that comes to my head. 
Last… I’m highly critical, of myself and, I hate to say it, of others. Most folks on tumblr see my self-critical side, since I often lament about stuff I could have done better and my uh… cringe… regarding the stories I wrote that I once thought was passable. I can’t honestly let myself say “I love what I did, it’s perfect and great,” because I can always think of something I could have done better? But I don’t say this in any negative way, just… recognizing it as truth by logic, and self reflection so I can do even better the next time. 
I adhere to others’ works with the same critical eye, which tends to bite me in the butt. Usually if no one personally asks me for help on improvement, I’ll leave it alone. They’re having fun and having a good time, I won’t ruin that: I know my own self-critique is always on High Mode that’s probably not reasonable and maybe a little too harsh, and even if I welcome that myself not everyone does. All of what I said so far, above, I only hold myself to unless…
If they ask for help…? If they lament that they want their situation to change? That’s when I’ll bring that criticism mode on high, what I have set for myself. And… sometimes people are shocked my critique went from 0 to 100 in under 2 seconds. Case in point, had a student who wrote really good assignments for the level of the class. Good grammar, good ideas, thoughtfully written etc. The class wasn’t particularly hard, and it was a first year class so it was more about giving students the confidence to move forward, and while I wrote some comments about improvement here and there, I didn’t ink the entire page red. That scares them. And it’s unnecessary inking for such a small assignment.Same student asked me to proof her personal essay for an application. Now, I knew this application was extremely important, and also part of a very difficult admissions process to which I knew the major folks who would be making the decisions. She asked my help, I want her to succeed, I know how to get her to succeed because by now I know the ins and outs of the admission committee. What do I do? I ink the entire essay top to bottom in red, everything I could possibly think of that could improve. 
She didn’t take that well at all, and probably expected a review that had been more or less what I’d given on the class assignments (but, to me, a 15 minute 1 page weekly assignment is not on the same scale as a 5+ hour 2 page admissions essay). Didn’t bother fixing what I suggested she fix, and what do you know she doesn’t get admitted, and she sends me back an email saying she doesn’t know how she possibly couldn’t have been admitted when she had straight As and good rec letters. Seeing people fail when they could have succeeded, especially when they didn’t do everything I feel they could have done to elevate their chances of success… and they still complain about their situation after the fact 
And that’s why I’m an ass. I had a friend describe me saying that I have a problem with putting myself and others on a “pedestal of perfection.” I’m chill on a lot of things, but that’s only because I don’t find a lot of things important to me. If I look like I’m chill about something, that’s probably why - I just can’t be bothered to try my very best bc it’s not very high on my own scale of importance (also p chill towards others’ shenanigans unless i have a personal stake in whatever it is they’re doin’). In line with that, I’m good at admitting and accepting losses. I tend to make a hierarchy of things that are important, and I’ll let go of the ones on the bottom of my list even if there’s an initial sting to do so. I’ll get over it. 
I’m all about efficiency. Expending the least effort for maximum payout.
The few things that are important, I have zero chill (group projects I have zero chill), and will unintentionally drag people down to my own personal hell of zero-chill when that was never what they wanted. My hyperfocus is real and you can sometimes see it when I post 5 chapter updates in the span of 5 days >_>;;;
ahahaaaa sorry this got out of control anon. When you say characters aside from Vaati, were you thinking of OCs or other characters I’ve written in stories, or my opinion on canon characters in general?
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vieuxnoyesrp · 7 years
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Sally. We were afraid it’d be a while before there were any takers for our teenage rebel, Jeremy Gilbert. But after reading your application, we were of the unanimous opinion that it was well worth the wait!  Your passion absolutely shines through this application, and we love how deeply you dive into a character’s story and head-space; a fact we are fortunate enough to know given your astounding portrayal of Malia Tate. But even if we hadn’t had that exposure we would’ve come to the same conclusion a few answers into your app. You bring a magnifying lens to the subtle points in Jeremy’s personality, leaving no stone unturned. Also, you ask all the right questions that arise from the snapshot of him that we gave in the bio, which tells us that you’re ready to explore his character in all the creative directions that we’d hope to see - and that we can’t wait to read on the dash!
Sally, thank you very much for applying. As for Jeremy…
               ⚜ ~ WELCOME TO VIEUX NOYÉS!!! ~ ⚜
Wondering what to do next? Click here and let the good times roll!
⚜ Roleplayer:
⤜ Name/alias: Sally ⤜ Pronouns: She/Her ⤜ Age: 24 ⤜ Timezone: CST ⤜ Activity:  I’ve been pretty consistent with Malia so far, I’d say maybe a 7?!?! I have a lot of school work to do because it’s my last semester so I really shouldn’t be thinking about another character to be perfectly honest. But Jeremy’s bio s p e a k s to me and I think that I could keep up a good and balanced activity level with him along with Malia. I’ve wanted a second character for a while it’s just been a matter of finding the right fit and getting Malia to a place where I felt comfortable picking up a new character. Because as you guys know I’m obsessed with her and I didn’t want to take any mental time away from her. But now I think that I am ready, also again, I can’t ignore Jeremy’s bio and how much interest I’ve garnered in playing him. ⤜ Best form of contact: Through my Malia account works fabulously. I would make Jeremy a secondary account on my Malia account if that’s alright with you guys/if I get accepted. ⤜ Any Triggers? No triggers. ⤜ How did you find Vieux Noyés?  Originally I found it through a recommendation by Kelly! ⤜ What drew you to the RP? Lolz, could gush forever. But you guys run such an amazing place. The intricacy of the the bios though, coupled with your leadership skills and all the fun exciting events we get to do. It’s just fantastic. I love it ⤜ What is one subplot/element from the Plot page that you are particularly looking forward to seeing in this roleplay? I can’t wait to see what happens with the harvest coming down the hatch. Also just generally all the changes and developments that each character will get a chance to grapple with.
⚜ Desired Character: Jeremy Gilbert
⤜ Why do you want this character? 
I want this character because I apparently love characters who are children with dead parents. JUST KIDDING. I thought it was funny that both characters that caught my attention had that in common. But no, I really want this character for a multitude of reasons. For one, I love the connections that Jeremy has. I love that he has his drug friends. I love that he has the Salvatore brothers breathing down his neck in the facet of, oh you’re Elena’s little brother so I must protect you, but oh also Jeremy knows that you two are vampires now who follow my big sister around and who I blame for killing Vicki Donovan (as if Jeremy needs a reason to dislike people). But that’s just a few the dynamics I love. I also love that he’s into drugs and substance abuse. I think that that is going to be a bit difficult to write, but I’m interested in the challenge that writing a drugged up or drunk character can present. I love the tiny details in this bio and just SING to me. For example, his blacklist? Like where does he keep this blacklist in his room and like how does he know when to add to it? Also what does he mean to do with it? LOVE IT. Also, I love that he draws, but shhh not anymore bc no, can’t give any of the people who want to ‘help’ him in his life something to hang there hat on. But lastly, I love the person that he is. I love this sad boy nature he has that is so stubbornly engrained in him. I feel like, if he doesn’t cling to this anger and sadness, then he’ll feel that he’s doing wrong by his parents passing. Especially since the beginning of his bio has this push and pull about how life moved so fast beyond their passing and how the people of Mystic Falls could so easily move past their memory. I think that driving force in him is SO powerful and one that he has yet to talk about with anyone because he is locked that part of himself away. There’s so many things I love you guys. This bio amaze balls. ALSO NOT TO MENTION THAT HE’S RECENTLY FOUND OUT ABOUT VAMPIRES. THAT’S HUGE. LOVE IT.   
⤜ What are your future plans for this character?
As far as where I see Jeremy going within this rp, just because of the fact that he is so stubborn and angry at the world, I think that gives him a huge amount of potential for growth. I think Jeremy is going to have to find something in this NOLA world that means something to him. Obviously you’ve got the doppleganger, Elena, Klaus situation happening that he doesn’t know about yet. You’ve also got him interested in weapons. I think that the weapons aspect of it is going to become a real serious thing for him as he starts uncovering the veil of the super natural despite the fact that he doesn’t want to. Jeremy finding access to these weapons and also maybe finding mentors to help him use them, will give him a way to feel like he is doing his part in avenging deaths of innocent people. Vicki Donovan being one of them obviously, in regards specifically to vampires. I think that will be a way for Jeremy to channel his sadness and guilt over his parents passing into a more healthy and productive manner. He’ll be able to satiate his anger in a way. While I think its harder to pull from him just yet, Jeremy does /really/ care about Jenna and Elena. So I think that their being in danger at any point will present moments for him where he will have to release real emotion. I think the rp generally will push him to feel that sense of responsibility in very real ways, which will inevitably develop his connections and understanding of the world. You’ve also got his connection to Sabine and her drugs causing him hallucinations, along with his realization of the super natural world. Obviously learning about the super natural world is going to force him to grow in new ways and despite the fact that he is staunchly against learning about it or knowing about it, it’ll become a reality for him either which way.   
⤜ Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Give us a few lines to describe a day in the life of your character... Where do they live? Where and how do they spend their time? 
I see a day in the life of Jeremy Gilbert as him sleeping in till about ten, maybe noon on a good day. I would imagine that Jenna would try to get him to go to school. It’s possible that she gets him out of bed but if that is the case then he blows right past her out of the house and gets into his car. On a general basis Jenna probably won’t see him until he shows back up in the house, in which case he’s likely to go back up to his room and lock the door so as to avoid fielding any kind of annoying conversations about his whereabouts and such. When he is out of the house, I think he’s looking into archaic weaponry. Jeremy likes to remain in this facade of not caring about anything or anyone. But I think he does have intellectual interests that are currently being geared towards how to protect him and the people he loves from super naturals as a human. But if he was pursuing that interest, it would be a particularly good day for him. Because other than that I think he’s trolling the Quarter for a good laugh or a good party. Of course, before he does any of that he’ll get himself a good little high off a perfectly rolled joint of which he took great pride in creating. If anyone questions him or looks at him funny, depending on his mood, he may be inclined to start a fight, especially if your name is Tyler Lockwood. On the more rare occasions that Jeremy does make it to school, he is likely under the influence there as well as it’s the only thing that would get him through that. Though Jeremy’s tolerance would be high enough at this point that he’s able to handle himself well enough. Of course, he wouldn’t use the hallucinogenic drugs that Sabine provides him with on these particular days. At school, unless provoked I think he just rides under the radar with a few unnamed stoner buddies he gets along with. If he does get provoked for any reason, Jeremy will be inclined to start a fight and not back down. He has a lot of aggression to get out and has no problem doing it to someone who decides to step in his way. Although, I don’t think Jeremy would hit a girl. I don’t think that Jeremy has ever experienced any consequences that have been too intense, or at least more intense than Vicki’s death or his parents. So I think because of that it’s become easy for him to rationalize such rash behavior. I think that because Jeremy is able to shirk so much responsibility, he’s also able to go out on any night he pleases, which he does please to do. Going out and partying allows him to will his entire world away with such ease. Often times I think he finds himself rolling (no pun intended) with Josh and Sabine. Though he’s just starting to question this motley crew due to the fact that Josh is less affected by substances and Sabine’s substances take him to a whole other level. But because I think in the back of his head he knows the answers will lead him to places he doesn’t want to go, he’s also subduing some of that curiosity in a way. Finally, somehow someway, most nights, he makes it back to his own bed when he passes out and repeats till the next day. The boy rarely goes to sleep without toking up first, and never wakes up without a good baking.
⤜ Give us three headcanons regarding your character of choice. (If your character is from one of the tv shows, please come up with a headcanon that is not explicitly stated on the show, but is rather based on your own imagination.)
So this list! So I think Jeremy first made this list immediately after what happened with Vicki Donovan. I think he was not sobered, but obviously very 'sobered up’ by what he’d witnessed. The images were just flashing through his head, all the horrors that he learned about seeming to come to life before his literal eyes. And he knew it wasn’t Sabine’s drugs in this case too. But the second he was all alone, his mind would’ve just been racing with such anger and fear. I think he pulled out a piece of paper and pen and began to write out this list of people, Damon at the top, then Stefan, then Tyler. I think this list made him feel slightly better, like he had /some/ control over the shit that goes on in his life, or could have control over it. And I think this list works in conjunction with his new found affinity for weaponry. Again, him needing to find a teeny bit of control.
 I don’t think Jeremy has completely given up on drawing. I imagine that he doodles to his hearts content in class, hood up, arms covering up the work. It’s very personal to him and something he wants to keep a secret. Think it would be cool to have someone accidentally discover his doodle notebook one day. 
Jeremy loves coffee. He is coffee connoisseur and enjoys trying all the different drinks the town has to offer in regards to it. I think he runs on coffee and drugs every day, sometimes staying up into all hours of the night. If he gets really inspired he might’ve even go on a drawing spree, though you can be sure the drawings will be kept well hidden away from Elena and Jenna. 
⤜ What are some plots you'd like to explore with your characater?
Plots that I’d like to explore with this character–so many. His new found affinity for weapons and how that might connect with the Argents. Already Allison has noticed his interest in weapons, so building off of that will be super interesting.His connection with Bonnie and how that will allow him to grow and develop since she has a specific little hold on him that he can’t seem to shake in regards to being just a tad bit more open. I want to see where Matt and Jeremy go. I think that the two of them have the potential to develop in similar ways. Which could allow them to befriend one another in this mission I see him having of wanting to protect those who can’t protect themselves.I’d love for someone to find his doodle notebook. I’d love to see what happens when people try to discipline him, or tell him that he is immature and childish (which he obvi is).I’d love to see how his and Sabine’s friendship progresses and how that pushes him to break more into the super natural worldI think Jeremy also has an affinity for beautiful women, of which there are an abundance of in NOLA. I could see him developing a flirtation with any number of women, at least those who find his immaturity tolerable. 
⤜ Para sample: 
(Retained for privacy.)
⤜ Would you like to be considered for another character if not accepted as your primary choice? Nope, I’d love to play Jeremy though. And If you guys need more from me, I would love love love to know about it so I can get on a page with you guys about how you see Jeremy. If I differ from your ideas or haven’t built enough on certain aspects of him, I’d love to do more work in that regard because I already LOVE THE INSIDE OF HIS HEAD.   
⤜ Have you read the rules?: I have read the rules!   
⤜ Anything else?  Oh man, so many other things I’d like to say that I haven’t already, but I think I’ll leave it there for now. Again, if there’s anything you’d like to discuss with me beyond what’s here I would love to talk about because eeeee I’d really really love to get a chance to bring him to life on the dash!
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celestialallstars · 4 years
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Episode #3: "Make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent" - Mo
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So first off WOOOOO! The vote happened exactly as it was supposed to. I'm hoping that means I'm actually on the pulse of this tribe. I've gradually been getting closer to Jared, and I think he trusts me probably more than I trust him.
Second off, this challenge my god. I hate it, like it's a good challenge but for me... oof. Doing this, it's like I have facial dyslexia or something. Like all of the mouths and eyes start blending together and it just starts to look nuts.
I'm hoping to keep trudging forward, if we somehow pull a win out of this, even better if Cyrena goes to tribal again given it was basically unanimous. Alternatively Orfeo to balance things out. I'm tired though and it's been a long day, so it is now time to sleep.
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I’m conflicted because I so badly want to be a bad bitch and create an over the top plan but there’s such a high chance that it will flop and make me look like fucking Doofenshmirtz when I’m trying to be like Maleficent. So I’m going to try to create my own kinda of genius that only applies to me. It sounds stupid but it’ll work. I’m being bold by saying it’ll work cus if I get eliminated I’ll look like a Doofenshmirtz. We’ll see. I’m already making charts to help me see who’s good and who’s not so good at comps. Comparing teammates to eachother and comparing the entire cast to eachother. Wish me luck. (Also I love everyone in this cast.)
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So like I have so many mixed feelings about this cast. In terms of talking a lot of them are BORING or LEAVE ME ON READ, and like maybe for some it’s cause I’m not in their tribe but like, some people on my tribe still make me want to hit my head against a rock. So like that’s what I’m feeling.
Also think we’re gonna loose this immunity which I’ve hardly done anything for. So go me.
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Just a small update Mitch and I are chatting so that answers that question
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"What's going on?" Well I shall tell you Anna Jane exactly what is going on. I need to get back into therapy that's what.
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Apparently everyone is stressed about results and then there is me who does not care cause I want bodhi gone cause he legit doesn't talk to me so meh.
ALSO ALISSA FOUND AN IDOL QUEEEN. so we now have an idol between the 3 of us which could come in handy very much later down the road which we love! I have 100% trust in jack and alyssa now, with mo as my number 3 on this tribe. As much as i love tobi personally (hi tobi reading this post season) but like idk something is still off. he hasn't spoken much game to me at the moment so idk where his head is really at..
god help us its results this challenge was hard woo go cyrena!
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we lost by 1 point. oh my god. 1 point. that makes me wanna cry. dear god let this be a simple vote or i will actually start crying
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WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE ON THE SHITTY TRIBE WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY IS THERE SOME SICK SATISFACTION OF ME ALWAYS GOING TO TRIBAL????? FUCK
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I am SO pumped! I do feel bad for the people on Cyrena, but where it stands now, them going to tribal I feel is best for my game just relationship-wise for me. Still, I can only hope I am making few bonds over on their end while maintaining the ones I have on my tribe and Tuatha as well. I do really hope Mo at least makes it because he helped me this morning when I was getting bummed about all the winner talk. I'm quite optimistic for right now!
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I Wrote Alexis Maxwell But I Erased It
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Well we won the challenge (BARELY), a bit annoyed that we submitted before I got another chance to take a crack at the photos. I feel like I could've maybe found 1 or 2 more before we submitted. Granted we'd need to have found either 3 more or beaten Orfeo to the punch if we had wanted the reward.
I think so long as Bodhi doesn't go on Cyrena I'm pretty indifferent about them losing. They're the people I talk to the least relatively. Ideally I'd probably want an Alyssa, or Matt boot, but I have no influence so we'll see what happens.
I'm just trying to be social and relatively unimposing right now. It's Day 8, now's not the time to be doing glaringly bold things.
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um so we won wooh but still no 2nd idol im sad i want one. um wanted green tribe to go tribal but blue going again i hope bodhi/jack/alyssa leave cuz they dont talk to me ever um ya thatd be cute or maybe tobi cuz hes a snake but maybe he not a snake this time? my stan list atm is jared > zach = rhys > loris = chloe > everyone else. my unstan list is: sharky jack alyssa mitch <3 um yaa hope i can do sth. chris so good gotta always watch out for him jared asked who i wanted to go to f3 with and i said def not chris and he was like oh i wanted chris in end so like hes def a threat also he likes zach so um that needs to stop real quick.
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I think it should be Bodhi or Tobi to go. Am I gonna say anything? Not right now, no. Will I say something later? No clue it depends. But Bodhi isn’t as active as the others and doesn’t participate all that much. Tobi is semi-active but isn’t great at challenges. I remember him being good at challenges so idk if he’s just distracted or not putting that much energy into this. I think a swap is happening after this potentially but if it ain’t it’s still best to vote out the weakest link. It might be me and I might just be super cocky rn but I don’t think it’s me.
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hi! yesterday was a monumental day. I tried to mend my social game with those I hadn’t talked much to, which resulted in me having a lengthy conversation with jack, and making me feel a bit more secure in my tribe/in the event of a swap. the people I don’t talk to keep getting voted out which I’m very much a fan of but that’s probably because they were inactive so that trend might not continue :(. also I lied in my last conf I’m now in an alliance with Chris Jared kori and Bryce? I didn’t expect it but i didn’t feel too close with kori so that should help me solidify something there!! :) I’m thriving. don’t call me ANGEL!
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don’t call me ANGEL! (in case of task challenge :p)
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So we won the challenge. Again. It’s really nice to be able to just sit back and relax in the game and watch people struggle but I’m really nervous about it because we’re all so kumbaya on the Oreo tribe that I don’t fully know who I can trust just yet. Another piece of tea is the fact that Alyssa has an idol which is great for me because it shows Alyssa trusts me and I can trust her for the time being. However I’m worried about Alyssa because we keep promising each other merge which tells me she won’t want to go to the end with me just yet so I gotta keep her close and we’ll see how much damage we can do but i think I’m thriving bc I actually know where an idol is compared to last time when I had no clue.
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so previously on The Adventures of a F*g, i had a small breakdown about the game. i dont know if true, but bryce informed me of an alliance between kori/jared/bryce/loris/chris, and the last two named are super close allies of mine (the closest on my tribe). they like.. didnt tell me shit about it and idk i guess i just feel excluded and it sucks that im in legit 0 (real) alliances. ive been doing good socially i thought and i dont know but i feel like i really sucked.
meanwhile, i sat down with a bag of salt and vinegar lays chips and talked to myself. why was i doing bad? why was i in 0 alliances? why no one like me?
then it hit me... like boom.
i realized that a typical flaw i had this game was caring too much. i pride myself on my ability to read situations (barring paranoia) and i know myself very well. like, i realized that since i was too concerned with doing good and proving myself, i kind of lost the fun of it all and probably come off as fake or forcible to other people. that isn't authentic.
BUT MY EPIPHANY increased even further. how? i dont know!! my brains so fucking big. i just had to be goofy. yes, i want to do good. i really do. but i played once before in this series and got RU pots and 5th. i know i am capable of being a good player and im content with that, and now that im moving into that mindset where this game wont no longer dictate whether im good or bad, im going to start having fun.
i know this isnt about game really but its like... #selfdiscovery
but ya i just wanted to update yalls on that. i won immunity though so im f18 and probs in swap. woo. finna get fucked. anyway, thank u.
and since i want like attention on this post im going to put tags.
#selfdiscovery #justgirlythings #l4l #follow4follow #gay #faggot #0alliances #disney #anime #weeb #lgbt #survivor #bigbrother #celestial
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After we won the face morph challenge, it has been pretty slow. I still have a solid group with me Stephen Z and Jared. Kori and Bryce are close, Jared and I are close, Rhys and Jared are close, and Stephen and I are close. Those are the allegiances I know of right now, but things could change. Lucky for the alliance of 5, they all get to stick together. If there is a swap though, I won't hesitate to flip on bryce/rhys/kori if the opportunity presents itself. I am also kind of worried I am not keeping up socially. I have had a busy week, so my availability is limited, but I try to talk to as many people as I can when I am available. If my predicitons are correct, we should expect a swap soon. I'd love to meet up with Michael, Bodhi, Alyssa, Chloe, Drew, and Mo just to name a few. I feel like I have been able to connect well with everyone except Matt H.
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So, as per my last confessional we are at tribal. And I'm conflicted. As said before I have an alliance with jack and Alyssa and they are my main 2 at the moment like love them both. We helped Alyssa find the idol and we now have a vote steal which I found. However I am feeling kinda conflicted over this vote. Jack and Alyssa want to get rid of Tobi but I personally want bodhi gone. He doesn't talk to me like at all and like he's not the best at challenges. I wanna keep Tobi as well for like a laugh because I genuinely love him. We all agreed to keep mo thank god but still, a lil conflicted. AGH. I have found a vote steal tho woo. I'm not going to be happy but I'll swallow my pride and just go with the alliance, because I'm not out here trying to make waves and be unloyal at the moment. That's for later LOL
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I think there is a relatively high chance that i'm going home here, considering its 1 and a half hours till tribal and people "still haven't heard anything" so i'm assuming that i'm getting the chop here which sucks... I tried pretty hard considering i've been pretty busy and like they're not giving me much to work with here and it feels like im trying to break through a wall. I'm trying to get the target on bodhi but no one is fucking online to even try to talk to about it so i'm at  a lost for what to do here... I want to stay but i just don't know how to do that when no one is talking to me... i could just be extremely paranoid and i sound delusional right now but idk something feels off here... its so annoying when I enjoy talking to other tribes more than my own NNNN like i really wish things were different but they're not so i'm just gonna try my best and see what happens
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Woo we win again. Im trying to step up socially with my tribe, although who knows how long it's gonna matter bc we're prob swapping tonight. Apparently people were saying mo's name, let's pray it doesn't happen bc he's a good fucking kid.
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Well it's been a slow couple of days for me. In game I can't really speak much to anything that may have happened. I feel like Tuatha has had a bit of a kumbaya casual flow going on. Which isn't necessarily bad but it makes it hard for me to know how I'm really doing.
Tobi was messaging me worried it might be him, which admittedly wouldn't be the worst thing given how we ended our last game. I was kindof an ass which I kindof leaned into after essentially throwing that game, but I still wish I'd found a way to end things better with him. While there are others I'd rather see go, his boot is one I can probably accept.
If it isn't him then oof who knows then. So long as it isn't Bodhi from that tribe. Overall I'm feeling ok, but I don't want to get complacent, it's just so early that I really don't know what to make of things. One world still isn't really helping since I'm still struggling to try and make conversation with EVERYONE. I really should consider just narrowing it down to some instead of all.
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I’m sure hoping this works out for me if there is a tribe swap like a suspect, I think I’ve built some strong enough connections but without going to tribal it’s just not possible for me to be 100%
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I've never been on a tribe with a winning streak I feel like I'm in the upside down hahaha. I'm having a great time and getting to know everybody and not having the stress of tribal is great. Sucks for the other tribes OOP
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Nothing much is happening! I am still set up perfectly on my tribe and Bodhi has informed me that either Mo or Matt might be going. That was at the beginning of the round so it could really be anyone. I just hope it isn't Bodhi Alyssa or Mo.
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Ok this past round was ok. I just kind of let us lose immunity and then we voted out Tobi. I didn’t want to vote out Tobi but that fucker voted for me so I don’t really care at all fuck him.
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So not very much has changed on Tuatha as far as I can tell. My tribe winning the immunity challenge has helped me delay any confrontation between my 2 alliances which is great, as it should theoretically allow me to maintain relationships with all 6 members of the tribe. Still, it's going to keep being important to win immunity or pray for a swap in order to keep these groups from clashing.
Jared and Rhys are still a ? for me. I don't know why/how Rhys was able to convince Kori to invite Jared to the alliance of 5 instead of Mitch, and it worries me that those 2 may have a stronger bond than I immediately suspected. Hopefully I'll have an opportunity to deal with that when the time comes.
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Tobi is voted out 5-1. We swap!
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madethisjusttorant · 6 years
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ACTUALLY JUST MADE THIS TUMBLR SO I COULD POST THIS RANT ON MY FINSTA.
Okay so I wasn’t going to talk about this with anyone, but after doing some research and hearing so many horrific things I need to speak out. Last Monday I believe I admitted myself to a mental hospital. I was having an extremely hard time and felt that I needed help ASAP and my schools health center (which is known to be p bad) recommended I go to Las Encinas hospital for a college student program. I felt SO good that I finally was able to ask for help and was excited to go get it. I arrived at the hospital and it was really pretty. After meeting with an admissions person they told me they felt it was best I spend the night. After signing some paper work I was taken back to the inpatient area where things INSTANTLY did not feel right. I was approached right away by an old woman who called me her “best friend” and was asking me if I like to do “Thai chi” and she kept asking me if I’m okay. I felt super uncomfortable and confused as to why there was a crazy old woman here because I was told it was for college students. The staff proceeded to go through my belongings confiscating notebooks, pencils, hair clips, makeup, and cutting strings off all of my clothes (which I only brought a pair of pjs). I told the nurse that I felt I was in the wrong place and that this was a mistake. He told me to keep to myself and just get through it and things will be fine. After that another nurse started giving me a tour. More crazy (I hate to say crazy but idk how else to describe rn) adults were making animal noises, saying absurd things, sleeping on the ground, and looking at me. I was bawling hysterically and kept telling my nurse I felt really uncomfortable and don’t think this is the place for me. She asked me why. I said because I thought I was going to be with people my age, a place for college students who are going through a tough time, not an insane asylum. She thought I was feeling “left out” and “shy” and proceeded to introduce me to a group of people. “Hello, this is mackenzie she’s 20 and she’s new here.” THE OTHER NURSE TOLD ME NOT TO TALK TO PEOPLE. Ok there is so much to say. But there were no doors on my bathroom and I was checked on every 15 min. The doctor determines your mental state and how long you should be there. The doctor didn’t even see me my first day. After a day of not being fed and crying all night, I was waken up at 6 am to be forced meds and to get my blood taken. I was sitting while a man shoved a needle in my arm and a patient next to me yelled “shit, fuck, cocksucker, asshole, douchebag” over and over. I asked a nurse if I could see the doctor and they didn’t have an answer for me. THEY DIDNT GIVE ME A SCHEDULE, they didn’t tell me what to do. There were no clocks and all I had was a journal they gave me. I just wrote all day. I had occasional conversations with people who seemed pretty normal until they either a) started imitating a baby or b) told me their younger selfs spirit told them they were going to be here or some shit. The meds they gave me made me very sick and I started vomiting so I decided to nap (also had nothing else to do). In the middle of my nap, my doctor finally saw me. He woke me up, and stood above my bed and questioned me. I was delusional from my nap/meds and also not wearing a shirt or bra so I felt super uncomfortable. He said I was severely depressed for sleeping during the day and he was concerned. I was like “well I am depressed but no I don’t feel well I was just socializing a while ago.” I began to tell him how I don’t feel like I should be there and he barely listened and told me that he was going to change my meds and left before I could even ask any questions. All they had for us to do was make bracelets or draw. I spent hours writing in a journal about how awful my experience was, drawing fucking nonsense, and making bracelets, and talking to drug addicts and people with schizophrenia. No one was my age. No one could relate to me. The other patients constantly asked me why I should be there. Unfortunately any time the nurses were even around, I was crying, so I probs seemed insane idk! Also every time I asked to see the doctor they told me they didn’t know when he would be there. HOURS AND DAYS went on and on my third day a boy showed up from UCSB who is 18. Normally I’m shy and depressed and don’t approach people but I immediately was like “HEY IM KENZIE HOW OLD R U?”. We hung out and talked about why we were there. He got caught smoking weed and his roommates told on him and the police forced him to go to the hospital and then he was transferred to Las Encinas and put into a serious unit where you are locked in your room for 4 days and then finally he was brought to my unit. HOW FUCKED UP. we spent our day making bracelets, drawing, and listening to horrific stories from other patients. He had the same doctor as me and at one point the doctor came to see him. The doctor walked right by me and ignored me. The 18 year old told me that he asked the doctor to talk to me and he just walked away. The 18 year old was being released later that day. I started to freak out (internally) bc why was no one listening to me! ALSO I could leave any time I wanted. I went there voluntarily. But if I left without a doctor saying I could then my insurance wouldn’t cover it and I’d have to pay thousands of dollars. So my parents told me I had to stay and thought I was overreacting. On that third day, I called my mom and told her to call them and ask if I am seeing my doctor and when I can see him next. See I had told my mom the truth that I saw him once for five min and that they said I only can see him at 10 pm (which I never did). They told my mom that I seen him every day and I’d see him later that day at 5. THATS when my mom knew shit was fucked up. So she complained some more and FINALLY the doctor saw me that night and told me I could be released the next day. I’m leaving out a lot of details because it’s so much, but I actually have PTSD from the experience and that is not an exaggeration. I felt so fucking trapped it was terrifying and the whole experience made me MORE depressed and anxious and terrified and hopeless. after that was when I knew I couldn’t be in school. THE REASON i am finally saying this is because the 18 year old boy got in touch with me and we have been talking. We read reviews about the place and apparently hundreds of other people have experienced what we did and a lot of cases are even worse. The place has 2 stars on yelp ( I gave it 1 only bc of their cornbread) and the LA times has written two articles on them (see pic for a quote). SSOOO my point of all of this is I have been  struggling for a while and have been so terrified to ask for help because of the stigma around mental illness. Finally I asked for help, and the fucking place I went to also KNEW NOTHING about mental illness. They treated us like we weren’t human and striped us of everything we had. Yes, there were people there that are actually insane and the place was probably good for them idk. But a majority of the people were drug addicts who said they are going to use drugs right when they leave and the doctors didn’t care. Homeless people who lied just so they could have a place to stay and meds. And then very few people like me who are genuinely looking for help. ITS SO TOUGH, because now if me or any of the other people who were there with me are going through a tough time, we most likely will not seek the help we need because of the horrible experience we had. Please if you are struggling with mental illness, do your research before you go anywhere and really talk to and reach out to other people you know who have dealt with or are dealing with the same issues. The people who worked at that place had no idea how we felt. They constantly complained about their long shifts and how far Starbucks was, while I’m falling apart. Sorry this is literally so much but after reading this horrible article I needed to speak out.
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bwicblog · 7 years
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EE: Wheeew, ånyone else feeling the recent heåtwåve?
EE: I just wånnå weår tånk-tops ålreådy but I cån't, so i'm DYING
ID: fuck the heat. seriously i traveled out of the desert to just end up in a muggier hot hellpit.
EE: Ugh muggy is even worse EE: So får the heåt here hås been dry, but I know we're in for å night of humidity ånd I dreåd it!!!
ID: it's like being in some giant's sweaty armpit around here. =:I definitely take dry heat any day.
EE: Omg, truuuueeeee
ID: ...fuck why didn't i think of that.
ID: you're a genius, uh.
ID: ...whatever your name is.
EE: Båsill!
ID: basill then. you're a genius.
EE: å genius tråpped in å not-cold-enough office TToTT
ID: complain to the boss about getting a better ac. that's something you can do, right? i've never worked in an office. you are working there. right? and just. slacking off talking to a chatroom?
EE: I åm the boss :'( EE: I'm on my lunch breåk
EE: ånd the åir works fine, but everyone else gets cold ånd complåins
AA: A N D R O U N D O N E B E G I N S.
AA: haha, j/k, they'rne fucking w/ each othern rnight now.
AA: fyi, loserns, name's siparna and i am yrn friendly neighornbornhood brnokern forn tonight! AA: pls place yrn bets now on if you think scrnuffy ass jade is gonna win, orn bighorns mcgee. AA: caegarns, beetles and chip trnansferns arne A L L accepted. >:}
AC: Ø .u. phew, I don't want to miss it Ø
SA: i believe in hadean.
AC: Ø .n. I don't want to bet against Emerel but I feel like it'd be mean to bet against Hadean too Ø
SA: I put all the money in my pocket on Hadean.
SA: which is a large amount, apparently.
SA: I will be seated on a different part of the stands, by the way.
EE: I'm not much of å gåmbling gål
AA: lmfao, phern's not paying attention, maidel. AA: he's too busy seething and wrninging his mitts in the stands. >:P
AA: you can T O T E S bet on whoevern you want.
AA: and wait, prni, wherne arne you sitting?? AA: come sit w/ us!!
AC: Ø .u.! yes! I'm with Sipara Ø
AC: Ø On the sitting with us thing Ø
EE: Go sit with them, it's good to måke friends!
SA: but we're using text to chat anyways...
AC: Ø and pfft. .u. that's true, Sipara, but Emerel might backread and he would never forgive me if I bet against him Ø
AA: and ee, yrn lame and that's fucking ternrnible. AA: wtf's the point of having blue cash if you ain't gonna flash?
AC: Ø bragging rights? .u. Ø
EE: I håve bills to påy :(
AA: and we arneee, prni, but, like. AA: if you sit overn herne, you can sharne ourn F O O D.
SA: ...
SA: okay, i will come.
AA: fuck yrn bills. AA: who needs bills? AA: go sleep in a
SA: wait a moment. I will find you.
AA: Y E S S S
EE: ånd I owe PP å nice lunch bc låst time I took å bet I lost
AC: Ø ouo!!! Ø
SA: here i am. feed e.
SA: love me marginally less.
AP: My money's on the red guy.
AP: Please make him less pretty, red guy.
EE: Shoot, lunch is over :'( EE: Hope the fight goes well
AA: y, y. dnw abt my hearnt level, brnah, we arne thrnowing food into you until we rnaise Y RN S. AA: rned hearnt orn fucking bust. >:}
AA: and aww, ty. AA: it will.
AA: i mean, not forn emernel, lmao.
AA: >:}
VA: Hey
VA: I fŏrgŏT T'say, buT i'm aT The faire righT nŏw
AA: !!!
AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
AA: come see the fight!!
VA: ŏk, where ya aT?
AA: we'rne up in the AA: uh, bottom rnow, by the gate. >:}
VA: I'll head ŏver Then
VA: And I'm gŏnna say iT nŏw. VA: I am nŏT wearing a cŏsTume, sŏ yŏu're jusT gŏnna lŏŏk like an ass if yŏu Tell me hŏw "auThenTic" ŏr "rusTic" I lŏŏk
AC: Ø .n. I hope nobody does that! Though...most people are dressed up pretty fancy, hopefully not? Ø
AA: lmfao. AA: y, y, we will rmemebern. you arne always abt that 24/7 cosplay life. >:}
VA: ŏhhh my gŏd
VA: A Tunic dŏesn'T mean cŏsTume
SA: to some people it is.
SA: I don't think anyone will, though, AC.
VA: They're cŏmfy
VA: I Think I see yŏu guys
AP: It depends on who you ask. AP: A tunic is a costume piece, at least.
AP: Maidel, are you here?
AP: A ...very sparkly seadweller bought most of my stock, but I saved you a few things.
AA: n, she's watching the fight, dude, keep up.
AP: I'd like her to answer that, thank you.
AA: lmfao, 'kay, enjoy yrn rnesponse in the next thirnty.
AP: I will.
AA: a~and looks like they'rne actually.. mb.. gonna stop shit-talking and starnt fighting. AA: gee whiz. AA: ... n, false alarnm, still gabbing.
AA: booooooooo.
SS: (Oh em gee, the natterin's the best part, pal!)
SS: (Why you gotta be a killjoy?)
AC: Ø I am! I'm talking to a lot of people though. .u. Ø
AC: Ø but ooh! thank you Ø
AC: Ø ...oh, I think I see Gliese talking to that seadweller Ø
AC: Ø Huh Ø
AA: dude, n, shhhh. AA: say hern name thrnee times and she'll pop out of the ethern to bug us!!
AP: Gliese, Gliese, Gliese.
AA: jokes on you, dude, gotta have hern last name in therne, too. AA: but good trny, herne's a starn forn effornt. https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.13056045.3033/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg
SA: that star makes me angry.
SA: Look at it.
SA: It can't even try itself.
AP: I think that's a good star.
AA: awww. AA: chillax, brnah. AA: let me, like, ftfy.
AA: http://i.imgur.com/cGIay9e.png
AC: Ø I...don't think so, she looks pretty busy with that seadweller. And pffft. Those are some sad stars. Ø
VA: This is jusT awful
SS: (Sipa, negl... http://i.imgur.com/iRDM4n8.png )
AA: oh my god.
AA: O H M Y G O D.
AA: y. amazing. a+. prni will fucking love it.
VA: WhaT dŏes iT say?
SS: ( http://i.imgur.com/I4Ktcaf.jpg )
AA: but also, considern. AA: https://68.media.tumblr.com/8e2668725f5bdbf4a68f95a179462600/tumblr_inline_nxkqgwmYFJ1tn0tli_540.png
AC: Ø these are some rude stars, my goodness Ø
AA: which one, vatty?? >:}
VA: Dŏ nŏT
LL: ( http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/325/925/ca7.png )
AAA: don'tcha see how darnk they arne, maidel? AA: this is what happens when you don't have a pale, dude.
SS: ( https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQTg6TYtpdVKWz85f1ZkRS2TamK5gQDIQPIrh62UQrNgl9Kr_C4 )
VA: And any ŏf The picTures hŏnesTly, I can'T read a single ŏne
AA: yrn language gets | Positively | Drneadful | >:P
AC: Ø ... .u. I have no idea what my not having a pale has to - PFFF Ø
AC: Ø Oh now I get it Ø
AA: >:}}}}}}}}}
AC: Ø Don't worry, Vatrra, they don't say anything important. Ø
AC: Ø Sipara's just being silly. Along with SS. Ø
VA: Sŏunds dangerŏus
AC: Ø the stars can't hurt you, only insult you umu Ø
AC: Ø they're just sad and mean Ø
VA: I meanT Sipara being silly
AC: Ø OH, hahaha Ø
AA: http://cdn2-www.craveonline.com/assets/mandatory/legacy/2013/02/man_file_1042548_3dc.png
AA: >:}
AA: okay, okay, enough starns. AA: we want nemorne, therne's lals fucking head herne.
AA: he's got, like, what...
AA: five horns herne.
AA: that's prnactically enough forn a starn. >:P
SS: (Nah, pal, don't you remember? Last time you checked, I have eight. (\eue/) )
VA: Hŏly shiT
AA: y, well, that's bc i counted beforne i snatched 'em off, duh.
AA: c'merne and i'll snatch the rnest of 'em, too. >:}
AC: Ø but Sipara, we're already about to watch a fight .u. Ø
AC: Ø I'm sure they can make space in the ring for that one later. Ø
SS: (Also, like, I totes can't fight. (\qnq/) It'd up and mess up the face you made me. Too bad, totes sad, mb next time. (\unu/) )
AA: well, shit, i didn't sprnay you w/ sealant, did i?? AA: gdi. >:{
AA: w/e, w/e, we'll fight L A T E RN, obvs.
SS: (Insert obnoxiously unsubtle fist pump at my narrow escape from certain death.)
AC: Ø huzzaaaaaah ouo Ø
AA: help, help, i'm being smotherned by a woolbeast.
VA: Happens sŏmeTimes
AA: >:"{
VA: Cry all yŏu wanT, ThaT's yŏur lŏT in life nŏw
VA: An armchair
AA: wherne the fucks' yrn rnusty solidarnity? herne i am, being, like, supern crnuelly C U L L E D in frnont of yrn verny own gandernbulbs, and yrn like. AA: trnoll darnth vadern. all stoic and shit. THIS IS YOUR LOT IN LIFE. AA: CRY ALL YOU WANT.
AA: well, jsyk, i am fucking weeping. AA: you just can't see it b/c my faces bein' eaten by hairn.
VA: Dŏ yŏu see hŏw much hair I have?
VA: I am nŏT sympaTheTic Tŏ yŏur siTuaTiŏn
VA: AT leasT yŏu have sŏmewhere cŏmfy Tŏ die, ThaT's nŏT sŏ bad righT?
SS: (Nm, I take it back! Pheres can up and help me defeat Sipa, she's clearly no match for us.)
AA: wtf is this trneacherny??
AA: someone narnrnate the fight forn me, i can't see shi.t
AA: shit.
AA: ffs.
SS: (It ain't treachery, it's tactics.)
AC: Ø They haven't come to blows yet but they're both holding out their weapons at each other. Ø
SS: (LOL. I'll be your oculars, pal. (\eue/) )
AC: Ø Probably not long now. Ø
SA: it is very disappointing.
AA: lmfao. AA: y, get the fuck down therne, lal. AA: be my seeing eye trnoll.
SA: I wish they would just get to the quick.
VA: Me Tŏŏ
AA: you and me both, prni.
AA: and v.
AA: wherne's the blood??
AC: Ø In the future. .u. Ø
AA: , , . n .
AC: Ø .M. Ø
AA: ònó
AC: Ø hahaha Ø
AC: Ø that's a great face Ø
AA: i am helping you make yrn emojis GRN8, dude. >:P
VA: -M-
VA: Was ThaT an emŏji
AA: omg, yes.
AA: gj, gj. >:D
AC: Ø that was a great emoji ^m^ Ø
SA: Oh, there they finally go.
SA: a miracle.
AC: Ø Red vs. green, dun dun dunnnn Ø
SA: the battle of ugly christmas colors.
AC: Ø Prisma, oh my god Ø
AC: Ø ...not wrong though .m. Ø
SA: are they not--
SA: see.
AC: Ø I feel _bad_ calling Em an ugly christmas color but .m. Ø
AC: Ø I mean Ø
AA: hey, girnl, don't feel bad forn telling the trnuth. >:}
AC: Ø .m. I mean he's not an ugly christmas color but. it is kind of funny in that context. Ø
AC: Ø ... .n. I hope he doesn't read this and get mad Ø
AC: Ø I mean, I'm green too, I can't really talk Ø
SA: yes but your green is more tolerable.
AC: Ø Em's chrome is nice...I mean, jade is better than olive. but. that's really nice of you to say!...I'm conflicted. .n. Ø
SA: embrace it. who cares what emerel feels about it.
AC: Ø .n. he's my friend Ø
AC: Ø I don't want to upset him Ø
SA: everyone here makes fun of everyone else.
SA: I dont think they will mind.
AC: Ø .n. I try not to though. I always feel bad. Ø
AC: Ø I don't mind if people make fun of me but I always worry about hurting someone. Ø
AA: giiiiiirnl. boy. bb.
AA: em dgaf.
AA: prnomise. >:}
AC: Ø ... .m. how long have you known him Sipara? Ø
AA: dude, have you hearnd phernes talk abt him??
AA: haven't even met him, and i feel like I'M the one quadded to the guy by now. >:P
AC: Ø Sometimes! Ø
AC: Ø Pfffff Ø
AC: Ø he's so tall, I think you'd have to like, get on a stepstool .m. Ø
AC: Ø ...though he's not nearly as tall as Riccin I guess Ø
AC: Ø I don't know _anyone_ as tall as Riccin Ø
AC: Ø ...except for one troll but I'd rather forget she ever existed Ø
AC: Ø So, Riccin Ø
SA: they are too tall.
SA: This is troublesome.
AC: Ø .u.! you know Riccin? Ø
SA: oh, no, but if they are taller than emerel they are too tall.
SA: I meant the fight, also.
AC: Ø Pfff - oooh crap. and Riccin is _much_ taller than Emerel, by...gosh, must be a foot, or almost Ø
AC: Ø and they're yellow! it's surprising Ø
SA: oh, he's bleeding.
SA: oh.
AP: Oh.
AA: welp!
AP: Shit.
SA: good.
SA: i enjoy this turn of events.
AA: L M A O.
AA: wow, didn't think you werne the blood thirnsty kind.
SA: it means Hadean is winning, doesn't it?
SA: surely no one expected this to be clean. that isn't how fights work with sharpened weapons.
AC: Ø ;N; Em Ø
SA: he will be fine. surely there are doctors here.
AC: Ø I saw a yellowblooded one .n. Ø
SA: he could have moved anyways, but he decided to unwisely make an offensive move when it would have been more intelligent to disengage or release the weapon and counter another way.
SA: Unfortunate.
AA: don't lose yrn shit, maidel, we alrndy got one mess on the stands. >:P AA: calm down, he's a mossball, he'll be fine.
AC: Ø ... .n. I guess Ø
SA: you can also look away if you wish, Maidel.
SA: I will give you a play by play.
AA: chilllll. he's obvs a totes bb at this, but eyy. AA: look on the brnight side, he'll be total pity-bait with that sornt of scarn.
AC: Ø I wouldn't. Em is my friend. Ø
SA: You can even hide in my shoulder if that helps.
AA: lmao, oh my god.
AA: prni. prni, if they'rne hiding theirn face, you don't wanna AA: give them AA: no, n/m, go ahead.
SA: emerel is the real winner of the fight emotionally.
AC: Ø .n. Emerel is the winner of first knife wound, more like. Ø
AA: c'moooooon, don't think of that.
AA: think of how much money some suckern made betting on the jade forn firnst chrnome. >:}
AC: Ø .n. wheeeeee Ø
SA: why do people call it chrome...
AA: awww.
SA: why not blood.
AC: Ø ...why didn't he dodge... Ø
AA: bc he's a newbie, duh.
AA: classic rnookie mistake. think yrn tough shit and get a knife to the gut.
AA: happens to, like, half of 'em. >:}
SA: did you make that mistake sipara.
AA: .. and blood's a highblood ternm, dornklornd.
AC: Ø But Em does these fights all the time. Ø
AA: lmfao, y, i totes did. AA: when i was S I X. >:P
SA: oh see that's a much more resonable time frame.
AA: ikrn?
AA: that's when yrn supposed to get all yrn gutwounds overn and done with.
AA: when yve still got yrn entirne pre-adolescent pupation to carnrny it off. >:}
SA: oh right. you all pupated.
SA: hm.
AA: ..........................
SA: regardless, Maidel, i am sure they both knew what they were signing up for.
SA: so just enjoy it.
AA: what, did you grnow in a vat, clonebb?? >:P
SA: shh... the fight.
AA: 😢 AA: 🤐
SA: is he stepping on his hair?
AA: y.
SA: couldn't that break his neck?
AA: naaaaaaaaaaaaah. who the fuck goes into an arnena w/o like, a detachable brnaid??
SS: (Sure, pal, if Hads up and tried real hard-like!)
AA: hads prnobs took a rnazorn to the frnonds just forn that.
SA: someone who is very attached to their hair.
AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!
AA: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SS: (Mother grub's saggy chesticles, HAH)
AA: i am in fucking love. AA: soz, lal, you arne eternally rneplaced, that was the wornst fucking thing i have evern hearnd and i fucking love it.
SS: (Best fight ever.)
AC: Ø ...you know, I can't even pretend to be surprised Ø
AC: Ø this is just how this is going Ø
SS: (S'cool, pal, but we're officially on for fightin on accounta: n, fuck you, he's mine.)
AC: Ø I am resigned now Ø
SA: I am greatly beginning to wonder who it was that decided that this was a nonlethal fight and yet allowed a psion with lethal abilities and unblunted weapons to be used.
SA: this is strange, and unnecessary.
SA: it would be like telling a soldier to go easy on a street fighter and yet standing by in horror as the injuries escalate.
AA: is anyone herne hornrnified?? AA: nobody uses blunted weapons in fights, dude. therne's no point to 'em if _someone_ ain't bleedin'. >:P
AA: no one's gonna pay to watch two fuckerns stand arnound in a cornern and hit each othern w/ sticks. AA: it's like, idk, cirncle rnacing. ppl pay forn the opporntunity to see someone get fucked up!
SA: what's the point of bleeding if someone doesn't die.
SA: it's a waste of time amd resources.
AH: to have fun, you goddamn twat
AH: ever heard of that
AH: though I'm fucking let down by Em right now
AA: lmfao. you bet on him?
AH: Lol, no
AH: I didn't know what Hadean's psi was until now, I'm no fool
AA: also, stfu beforne i crnam those twigs you call horns up yrn ass. AA: don't use that language w/ prni. he's fucking delicate.
AH: oh shit, my fucking bad
AH: Lol, big words coming from nubs almighty
AH: did you steal those from a wriggler?
SS: (Shit, pal, s'called 'wait your damn turn'!)
SS: (FIght's ongoing rn, ain't no need to be disrespectful-like.)
SS: (I'm sure there's, like, a proper queue somewhere.)
AA: y. you found me out. gotta steal all my mean jibes frnom the wrnigglerns. AA: i'm just sweet as fucking sugarn w/o it. >:'{
AA: and lmfao. y, rnight.
VA: IT's a gŏŏd fighT, nŏbŏdy is dyin'
AH: I meant your horns, brainless
AH: considering how minuscule they are
SA: oh, yes, because the chat needed another edgy pissbaby.
SA: tell me more about how much of a badass you are, AH.
AH: nah
SS: (LOL) SS: (Super delicate, y.)
AH: you don't deserve stories of my cool stunts
AA: he's got a delicate constitution, brnah.
AA: >:P
VA: SA is cŏŏl
SS: (Hey, pal, I ain't said nothin disagreeable!)
SS: ( (\uwu/) )
VA: I wasn'T direcTing ThaT aT yŏu SS, yŏu're fine
SS: (What? You sayin I ain't cool??)
SS: (Hashtag rude.)
VA: I'll leT yŏu knŏw when I reach a decisiŏn
VA: I'll send yŏu a cerTificaTe even
SS: (That ish better be notarized, pal, or else I ain't gonna know it's legit!)
VA: Yŏu knŏw iT will be
SA: regardless, i mean more to say that fun and practice can be attained with sparring with equal effort exerted and just as much skill gained.
SA: this is borderlining blood sport. it's painful to watch two people hold themselves back for the sake of attrition.
AH: lmao why'd you even come then
AA: y. to the cull matches arne way bettern, tbh.
AA: and pay bettern.
SA: When we sparred on the colonies it was either murder or handicapped practice.
SA: Because Hadean is my friend, and I will be there for him.
AA: but eyyy, therne's totally a benefit to, like, shitshows like this, dude. AA: it takes S K I L L to maim someone w/o just culling them.
VA: I like Th'nŏn-leThal ŏnes beTTer
AA: shit's a goddamn arntfornm.
AH: wow that's the first thing you've said that isn't just blah blah blah
SA: i suppose so Sipara. But i am hard pressed to see this drag on.
AH: fair enough
VA: Sipara has a gŏŏd pŏinT, maiming wiThŏuT culling is a fine line
AA: you need to hide yrn face in someone's shouldern?
SA: It just seems illogical to me. but that is fine.
AA: bc the left one's frnee. >:P
SA: no, it isn't like that.
SA: it doesn't make me sick it just makes me sick.
SA: ?
AA: >:?
VA: yŏu cŏuld Try Tŏ Think ŏf iT as sparring if iT helps
AA: prnotip, dude, squeamishness ain't just puking in the bushes.
VA: I dŏubT eiTher ŏne 's Them will cŏme away frŏm This wiThŏuT learning sŏmeThing
AA: .. also, lbrn herne, it's less funny now that, like, hads is getting hit.
AA: booooooo.
AA: and y, va, i agr
SS: (I mean, I'm up and learnin plenty tonight, vocab-wise.)
SS: ( (\eue/ ))
VA: Likewise
SS: (But, shit, all I ever learned from fightin's that you gotta get 'em down afore they get their fronds on you.) SS: (Idk what the pointa sparrin is when you end up effed up permanent-like if you ever let someone get that close irl proper-like.)
SA: usually violent stabbing and battering isn't part of sparring.
VA: IT can be if yŏu're dedicaTed
SA: dedicated or foolish.
VA: Usually ya have armŏr ŏn if yŏu're gŏing fŏr blŏŏd Thŏugh
VA: Like, armŏr armŏr
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