#she does NOT know it’s about dean

[autisticandroids]

FAMINE: That's one deep, dark nothing you've got there, Dean.

[youtube with closed captions]

dean and his father. dean and his family. dean and how bad it is.

(via @closetoyou1970)

#spn #vid #mind the warnings on this one for real #woe! fruit of my rewatch be upon ye. #pallas calls this my 'deangirl coming out vid' which honestly. true. but those who paid attention know i've always been a deangirl. #also. after this no more deanwinchester rilo kiley amvs I Pwomise #anyway. i'm not gonna give a full commentary here but a big reason why i chose this song is that the narrator #is essentially dismissing her own problems and instead watching the problems of someone else #and i kind of wanted to play with that theme. this is the parallels show so let's do some parallels. lots of things happen to characters #that are Like Dean somehow. either in personality or circumstance. that we know or can infer happen to him. but we don't see it bc it's #not sayable. not speakable. so like for an easy one. we see meg being tortured in caged heat. she also talks about apprenticing under #alastair just like dean. so i show her being tortured [in a way that is sexualized and demon-specific] and reacting how she does #because i invite the audience to imagine or interpret that this has also happened to dean at some point. we just don't see it #so there are many dean parallels in this video. some obvious. some subtle but textual. some products of my twisted mind. but that's the way #i am using them to make my argument. #oh also: dean voice sam's eyes going black is JUST like when he used to fight with dad and wouldn't listen to me when i told him not to. #i guess also the point is that because it's unsayable. dean can't say it. dean can't even acknowledge it. and so it bleeds through #into everything in his life #that's why it's important that the song narrator doesn't take her own problems seriously. dean doesn't either.

[bulkhummus]

do you understand how this rewired my fucking brain ….. they were grad students together…….carlos cant remember decades…we were both trying to prove ourselves… lubelle will march over anything and anyone…… cecils swiss cheese brain ….

#everyone worried about carlos……. enough to go looking for him #im was trying to find connections between dr. kayali in 55 and janet #kayali knew carlos as a professor who disappeared on sabbitical #lubelle knew carlos as a fellow grad student #dr blake knows carlos as someone who made an impact long enough at the university that his portrsit was both hung and taken down #he also took over carlos’ role as lubelles right hand man (implied by cecil stating it ) #which means either carlos was not telling the full truth and extent of his relationship to lubelle (highly likely) #or its a time and memory weirdness #but i keep thinking about the line we were young and trying to prove ourselves…….. #it sounds so unnecessarily foreboding to me like whatd they get up to what did they do #that made carlos question her ethics #i bet they were rewarded for it #i bet it ate him up inside sitting atop of an achievement that was ethically shakey for years #until he has a break down and dips #also so egotisical that she sets up a campus in town lol and makes herself the dean #on top of sacred ground #kayali said he was gone for decades…… so funny how decades keep haunting carlos what does it mean what DOES IT MEAN #wtnv #welcome to night vale

[quietwingsinthesky]

the fact that Dean is so gentle sometimes and so terrifyingly violent others is what is so compelling about him to me.

#(thinks about dean hugging Charlie in nearly every episode she’s in. and also about him breaking her arm and nearly killing her.) #dean winchester #spn #it really is like. he doesn’t have a dividing line between the two you know? #that what decides how he responds is not ‘is this going to hurt someone’ but ‘how in control of this situation do I feel’ #and if the answer is that he doesn’t then he gets violent until he does. and then he gets calm and gentle again. #and just!!! would have been fucking fascinating for the mark of Cain to focus on that!!!! that part of him!!!! #sure his random murders (what little there are) are neat and all but where is the Dean Winchester who will tell his brother to sit down and #eat the dinner dean cooked for him or else he’ll smash his head in. he made Sam’s favorite <3 either eat it or he’s getting a hammer. #mark of Cain dean should have had his control issues on steroids honestly

[cookiedoughmeagain]

Duke to Nathan, in Haven episode 3: "Does she know about the things you've done?"

Dean to Sam, in Supernatural episode 1: "Does she know about the things you've done?"

#Does she know about the things you've done? #spn #haven syfy #parallels #Duke Crocker #Dean Winchester #spn/haven parallels

[samdyke]

that give destiel a third poll is so funny like i would NEVER do that to any of the girlies on there. crowley is the only answer i can rock with bc it would be horrible and good for everyone equally the rest are getting way worse than they bargained for

#like why would u put donna thru that or smth 😭 she does not need that in her life….. #destiel is very toxic Is the thing. theyre that post thats like #two of the most insane people you know are dating and they make each other worse but they should NOT break up theyre #keeping that shit contained !!!!! #and feelings about megstieI aside ​dean would Never sleep with meg. not even as a triangulation of desire its not gay if theres a girl way #kora.txt

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

actually the fact that Heathers is technically a comedy — both in the classical sense, and in the marketed genre as a dark comedy — makes it sadder. because it's played for funnies, for the drama, for the fatalistic ridiculousness and facial expressions and ironically timed theme music. everyone is a caricature, except for Veronica. she's the one human in a cast of Muppets. and she is very, very real. and she is very, very broken. and because it's a comedy, because it's almost a parody, the weight of the plot is largely ignored. there's a tragic shade to it, in opposition to its narrative function, because Veronica is expected to play into that narrative. she's the real one, and the narrative continues to treat her like a cartoon, like a Muppet. but she's the human, and she's not given the weight of that. she's a final girl, the one left to tell the story, but the narrative doesn't allow for her. the narrative insists on standing by its genre, giving a hollow laugh and fading to black with the comical image of a girl lighting a cigarrette off of a suicide bomb. it's intentionally a John Hughes film gone sour, and the upturned ending is a facade. Heathers is a comedy, yes, but there's a tinge of tragedy to it as well, if you just look beyond the surface

#this is about the film but it's worth mentioning that the musical does a very good job of leaning into the weight of it all #barrett wilbert weed is a raw open wound and seventeen reprise is openly bittersweet #which maybe is why i think about this so much. the comparisons and the way the musical takes a different angle at the plotline #is always really interesting to me #the musical allows for serious moments without the camp and comedy of the film #anyway i know heathers (1989) starring winona ryder and christian slater is likely not meant to be scrutinized as such #but i do like taking a deeper look at things that weren't meant to be looked at that deeply ahdkdnsksndh #Lu rambles #meta finding tag #heathers #heathers 1989 #veronica sawyer #winona ryder #jason dean #christian slater #the way heathers is a deliberate dsconstruction of the john hughes format is something that can be so personal #(she says never having seen a john hughes film)

[chiisana-sukima]

Happy Wincest Wednesday!

What's one headcanon (cute, sexy, or otherwise) you have about the brothers and the Impala? Time spent in or on it, or things they've done in it, Sam indulging Dean somehow with it, or (etc)?

Happy Wincest Wednesday-Thursday, Phyn! Thank you so much for the ask. <3

I have so many headcanons about Sam, Dean and the Impala. The main one is that they're both very weirdcesty about it. They don't have a sexual relationship with--or even sexual thoughts about--each other. Obviously! That would be sick and bad, and especially in Dean's case, outright wrong. It would be the polar opposite of protecting and looking out for Sam, so clearly he would *never*.

...But it's hardly Dean's fault, or Sam's, that they've both banged chicks in Baby's back seat. That's just a natural outcome of the Impala being, for all those years, their only real home. And it's hardly his fault he's proud that Sam can pull such gorgeous babes, and that maybe when Sam was in high school and first started dating, Dean helped him out a bit by handing over the keys and telling him the best make out spots and giving him advice on what songs got which kinds of girls in the mood, and maybe even making sure he knew there were always extra condoms in the glove compartment (and although Dean *certainly* never looked in the glove box the next morning to see if Sam had gotten lucky, it's not his fault he has to replenish the supply so he does kinda keep track.) If he sometimes fantasizes just a little about some of Sam's chicks later himself when he's banging one out in the shower--about what they were like for Sam, maybe sweet and faux demure, laying on the worn back seat with their clothes still on but the door open to give Sam room to get his head up under their skirt, or maybe shameless and wild, going down on Sam at the drive in, with Sam still in the driver's seat and the soundtrack to whatever movie of the week was drowning out his cut off moans--well, if he thinks about those things on occasion, that's just because he's a red-blooded American man, and Sam has excellent taste in women.

Usually.

Sam usually has excellent taste in women.

There was the Ruby thing, of course. He knows--knows for certain, though he could never prove it--that when Sam would pocket Baby's keys and sneak out to get his fix while Dean seethed and pretended to sleep, that sometimes he and that demon bitch would bang right there in the Impala's back seat. Baby would stink of sulfur the next day, and Dean would hardly be able to contain his rage. But what was he supposed to say? "Alastair warned me you weren't the pure little Sammy I imagined and you'd get with any demon whore who'd give you what you wanted, so why didn't I come down off the rack and it could be me instead"? Obviously he couldn't say that. He only even thought it sometimes because Hell had fucked him up so bad.

And there was Rachel Nave. That one Dean had assumed was on him--so much so he'd still felt guilty years later and a djinn had made it the reason dream-him and dream-Sam were estranged. But okay, while he shouldn't have stolen Sam's prom date and definitely shouldn't have given in when she insisted she blow him parked behind the school only three days after said prom, it had all worked out fine. Yeah, Sam had been angry one of Rachel's friends saw the whole damn thing, but far from pulling him and Dean apart like maybe it should have, Sam had demanded Dean drive him to school the next day and pull Baby right up front; had paraded Dean around on his arm like--well. Like *Dean* was the prize in the exchange and there was no denying Sam won.

Anyway, that's all in the past now. These days, things between him and Sam are easy. Now when he gets an eyeful of a gorgeous naked babe like that Piper chick in Baby's back seat with Sam, it's just par for the course. She's hot, Sam's, you know, objectively hot too (what're you gonna do, Dean certainly can't help that). So whatever it's all about, maybe it's not exactly normal, and maybe Sam and him are both a little fucked up, but the world has bigger problems. It's only worth dwelling on in a good way.

#wincest wednesday #somehow i got stuck in dean's POV #so i couldnt add in some relevant headcanons that only Sam would know #but Rachel of course was possessed #so when Sam went to give himself to Lucifer at the end of S5 and found out about Rachel #he also found out Dean had banged a demon in the same back seat Sam banged Ruby in #i want Dean to have found out too so he can feel deliciously guilty about being mad at Sam for doing something he unknowingly did as well #but sam would never bring it up so i cant quite fit it into the spn in my head #also though! #sam would definitely be jealous about dean boning anna down in the impala that one time #but would be unable to admit to himself exactly why #anna was so pure and radiated innocence #all the things that sam has never been and can never have #and there dean was just... being handed it all on an angelic silver platter #it would never occur to sam that if ruby reminds him of dean #(and she most certainly does!) #then anna may have reminded dean of sam #but somewhere inside him sam does suspect it's true #and maybe dean's mistaken about any similarities but it still gives sam some comfort #makes him feel warm and loved #and a little less irreparably corrupt

[sosaysdean]

How was the episode?

very much the same. themes and motifs

#whole ep was about fate #dean starts narrating about fate and how he pushed the first domino and blah blah #but it was a vampire ep #and based on this magic amulet johns fate was to be killed by a vampire and the ep is like. everyone trying to prevent that from happening #also mary and John are dating now and they were keeping it a secret from latika and Carlos #betty who’s johns ex and also a cop is suspicious of Mary cause she’s like. a trouble maker blah blah #at the end John tells his mom to kill him (lol) and when the vampire bites him it’s dead man’s blood #and then they revived him ????? using cpr ??? like it didn’t work and they gave up and then he gasped and woke up like ok #also mary took on four vamps by herself #also since when does holy water affect vampires…cause they used it against them #wild #and now everyone knows John and Mary are together #and betty and. guy who’s name I don’t remember are working together to try and stop Mary from. whatever she’s doing #also dean pic for the promo the akrita and the akrita demon queen are trying to kill dean lol #thee prequel #ask #anon

[perhaps-mr-collins-has-a-cousin]

I saw you are reading the Emily books by LM Montgomery. Have you read them before? I like them so much. They have a very fall-like feel for me. 🍁🍂🍃

Yes!! I read them once eight or so years ago so there’s a lot about them that I’ve forgotten and am now rediscovering. They have a fall-like feel to me as well, there’s just a certain cozy coming-home vibe that I think characterizes so much of L.M. Montgomery’s writing. I recently finished rereading the Anne series and I kind of think the Emily series feels like the Anne series’s older, slightly more melancholy sister. Have you read any of Montgomery’s other books? I haven’t yet, but The Blue Castle is next on my list!

#for some reason with this second reading the character i have fixated on is dean priest #i am equal parts fascinated and horrified by him #i think he’s one of the most interesting characters in the whole series #complex mysterious imaginative intelligent melancholic kind of bitter and also a little pathetic #the friendship between him and emily is lovely and sweet and interesting but it is also weird and creepy as heck at the same time #because right now she is fifteen and he is her father’s age #and you know he’s just waiting for her to be ‘’old enough’’ to pursue romantically #and then there’s dear sweet personality-less teddy #i want to like him so bad but there’s just nothing there to like! #although i really enjoy the whole each-comes-when-the-other-calls thing #teddy by whistling like a bird #and emily by straight up using the Force #i kind of love the dynamic between ilse and perry #perry just repeatedly does embarrassing things without knowing or caring #and ilse gets very embarrassed on his behalf and it makes her so angry that she has to yell at him just to let off steam #she’s so mean to him! but it’s kind of funny #i can’t remember if they get married at the end of the last book? #anyway thank you for giving me an opportunity to ramble stupidly about these books 😆

[sothischickshe]

I find the wire stripping scene so hard to take seriously bc it doesn't seem like they had a plan to meet so like why would he think she's wearing a wire♻️ (plus the body doubling is terrible & the socks staying on is silly etc) BUT I do like my theory that rio finds the tracker drunk, stomps round the next day to have his tantrum, & then is like subsequently ~tipped off bc he realises she was being wildly agreeable during which is like ridonk for Beth 😂

#Gg rewatch 2021 #TV #Like it certainly doesn't seem they have a plan to meet when he turns up right? #I suppose they don't specify that they didn't so there is some leeway but yea def implied lack of plan. #I think he's drunk when he or whoever finds the tracker #Bc the show establishes he & beth permanently are. #Also I'm very here for exhibitionist Beth so it can just about stay. #But I will die in the hill that she should have thrown at least one of her socks AND her watch at him. #It's SUCH a weird scene. I do like how she's babbling abt Dean and the snacks at the beginning though <3 #And it does seeeeeeeem like him being like hi I know you did tip me off abt the secret service 2 mins ago sdfggdrtggg #And the sandwiching of the button opening btwn the two attempted belt openings is something something something something something #We were robbed of a scene of rio and Fitz unzipping each others' shoes or w/e 💡 #*on

[universalsatan]

can’t tell if i’m confusing wanting to look like almost stereotypically macho men or just being wildly attracted to them. or both i guess

#i mean i always used to say bi dilemma but im realizing this is mostly just gay now godbless. trans rights #for context. im thinking like. young harrison ford (i Know.; the reason im saying this is i remember Both my mom and dad acknowledging him #as the og Macho Man™️) and because it crossed my dash. jackles. but not really young jackles like s1 dean but matured jackles like more rece #it’s funny cause in practice. the person ive been pursuing (while Also an idiot. maybe i should just accept myself as morosexual at this #point) is actually. very effeminate HAHAHDHAHSJDHSJ #to the extent that my mom has thought he was gay in the past. i was talking about him to my sister and she asked if he was gay LMAO #which is hilarious because as far as i know (and ive known him for… almost 6 years ig? pined for almost 5). i’m Only aware that hes had a #crush on a girl ages ago. but this was also thru a secondhand source we’ve never actually talked about that #we probably should but we’re both idiots i have no idea how it’d be brought up #but in terms of effeminate. hm. he’s actually Really tall maybe over 6ft? and he Can have a deep voice. i think he can sing bass? but he #actually speaks in a higher register. god i wonder if he’s doing the opposite of me. who’s always consciously deepend my voice LMAO #he’s a HUGE plant enthusiast. HUGE. i dont Think he’s ND (or at least he doesn’t from what i can tell. I get vibes) but he straight up has a #plant fixation. knows so much about care. when he worked in greenhouses he learned the latin names for a good portion of them. i know this #isnt exactly ‘effeminate’ but he does all the gardening. oh and to add to it ig. i dont know HOW. he was NOT. irked by gore and blood??? #when i explained to him what my potential job as a crime scene cleaner could entail??? but he cannot STAND bugs. he FREAJED OUT (over text) #at the mention of a spider. so of course. me being the 8yo boy with a playground crush. proceeded to tell him all my Fun Spider Encounters #lets see i think he also really loves to bake? ive seen these elaborate cakes (tp roll for covid. a fish) he’s made on insta. and there was #that one time he brought me those three most MOIST chocolate cupcakes with raspberry buttercream icing. i deadass ASCENDED to heaven. #food IS the way to a man’s heart btw. #oh yeah and the fact that i met him in the first place — well. i play oboe in ensembles. and he’s flute/piccolo. yeaHAHSHAHSHH #LMAO remembering that while he doesnt keysmash (i’ve started to around him. it’s mostly emojis bless his heart) he deadass called me ‘hun’ #oh and the best part? i couldnt think kf what to watch. and he’s over here saying he doesnt watch ANYTHING. like bro how do u NOT. listen to #any music past 1900. OR OPERA EITHER. and NOT have any favorite movies/shows??? wh??? like. he deadass was like ‘unless [gardening channel #on youtube] counts’ like girl i am so in love #but yeah i was literally sitting there sounding like a pretentious film nerd bro i cant fuckin believe it. but i FINALLY wriggle it out of #him. because apparently he cant concentrate on most movies (valid.). the ones he CAN are cheesy chick flick comedies #saying that he can recite 90% of mean girls. thats his favorite movie #and he also mentioned like. legally blonde #and i have a feeling he almost was avoiding it in case i would judge him or whatever but ngl i honestly fell harder HAHSHSJAJDJAJ #fuck 30 tags but let’s just say. very effeminate compared to me. a full on Dad

[monstermoviedean]

no one cares that you're broken is a gamble line? all this time i'd forgotten. i thought it was an edlund line in which case i would actually give it consideration. but a gamble line? in this economy???

#years of criticism of dean for a stupid fucking line from gamble of all people. she doesn't know anything. #people complain about how much the show hates cas. and a lot of the time it's really just gamble. #dean ABSOLUTELY fucking cares. nobody else does but dean does. #spn #spn rewatch #07x23 survival of the fittest

[quietwingsinthesky]

what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing

#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy. #sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.) #hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help. #don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again? #sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone #if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you. #even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting? #sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death. #so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion? #[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with #himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was #turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3) #GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES? #such a good fucking concept. squandered. #anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change. #hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference. #both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line. #and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right #hallucifer #spn #sam winchester #amy pond

[thebiggestmenace]

wowie

me thoughts

why did I expect Mary to sort of know Dean? it makes sense that she wouldn't, but still

Dean knows everything about her :( I do not know all of this about my parents

so Sam did get shot

is Lucifer still around??

yeah, Sam, you tell her

that was a big hug, guys

I love how protective Cas is of Sam, I don't feel like we usually get to see this

wtf even is this drug??

of course they get hit smdh

I think I remember Mick?

Sam's trying so hard :(((

agents Beyoncé and Jay-Z 🤭

omg recap with everything for Sam's powers??? *

* oh, it's because she's psychic :(

Sam is so good with kids :(((

come on, Sam, you take all the fun out of antiquing!

surely in a house full of hunters, the demon would have limited vessels??? what happened to the anti possession symbol? does no one else have that?

I know he's the devil from the bible, but I can't say I don't get why Lucifer's so hurt about God leaving

omg isn't that Jack's mom? **

** it is!!!

of course Cas has the exact amount of time the boys have been in prison

Cas, don't beat yourself up :( there's no way you would've known

is someone just attacking all the angels???

"light stick!" tbh it is a light stick. that's not a normal lamp

firstly, this is the episode Cas professes his love. second, the fact that Dean immediately noticed Cas was hurt?? and Sam just kept talking to Mary??

oh, my god, is Crowley tearing up????

I knew it was coming, but don't you dare, Cas, don't you fucking dare

all that for the colt??????

Dean isn't gonna join the British Men of Letters, there's no way in hell

love the reference to the walking dead, JDM really does love bats

I love Claire

omg I have that nightstand!!! and a pretty similar bed? it's definitely from the same maker

he's learning sign language for her :(((

love that Sam is talking Dean down with Cas missing

actually, the nightstand is literally all of them???? Dean has it, too! I imagine the beds are all the same?

they're leaving their marks :((((

oh, the mixtape :(((

lmao they stole Baby

Cas is gonna be such a good dad

they never even took care of Toni???? I thought Mick would've killed her or something

why is there a hellhound after Eileen????

that's how they kill Eileen?? what the hell, man?? I thought we had more episodes with her

ugh, they are so cool

Mary, you will not be killing Jody.

I don't even know if I have words after Dean talking Mary out of that? just ouchie, such a big ouchie :(((

oh, it's a family hug :(((

he didn't actually kill Rowena, right? right?

Cas took a doula class? that's so sweet :(

Bobby!! totally thought it was gonna be someone else :o

Crowley, no. please, no :(

and Cas??????

they just lost everyone

hi, Jack

I do not even know what to say. that ending fucking hurted, man :( this was such a funky season, though. you got the British men of letters, you got Mary coming back, you got Sam finding a new love interest only for them to kill her, you have all of the Nephilim stuff, and Lucifer coming back, and then that ending. I think I'm just not gonna say anything if the finale is normal cause I feel like this one came with double the ouchie

s1, s2, s3, s4, s5, s6, s7, s8, s9, s10, s11, s12, s13, s14, s15

#ellie is so fun #i love ellie #also loving sams hair this season???? #its so fluffy #the nightstand/bed is from the british invasion btw!! #i have also never seen them before!! #the bed isnt the same because mine does not have as much detail but it is the same maker #i can tell you that much #btw i knew eileen was gonna die i just didnt know the how #but i really really thought (and wish) she got more episodes than she did #i also thought we had crowley for longer #i didnt remember him literally sacrificing himself for the boys #(i know it was the world but still) #dean better not talk shit about him now #skdhfjsks this one hurted #rambling menace #menace watches supernatural #supernatural #spn #destiel

[laurelwinchester]

one of my many many many arr*w related grievances is that people in the fandom (including in the laurel lance sub fandom) are very hesitant or even outright refuse to admit that quentin lance was an extremely emotionally abusive father. i still don't understand why that is.

#the thing is it's not like you have to go deep to see the abuse #it's actually quite in your face literally from day one which is why i'm forever raising an eyebrow at all the praise he gets #he was an extremely emotionally explosive man who constantly verbally or emotionally abused and manipulated laurel #he shredded her self esteem and confidence #he kept her shackled to him out of selfishness and made her small so he could continue to control her #and eventually he was the direct cause of her violent death #like what's not clicking? #he's john winchester* and yet for whatever reason he still doesn't get the john winchester treatment and i'll never understand why #is it because he more openly loved his children? because abusers often love their victims. it doesn't change the abuse #this rant coming to you because i'm trying to shift back into htlgi mode for the new year so i can at least try to get something posted soo #and i know i've talked about how i'm going to be tackling laurel's mommy issues but with the mommy issues come the inevitable daddy issues #and something i'm currently struggling with is that i....don't think laurel will ever be able to save herself from that man #especially not htlgi laurel #she is simply not capable of removing herself from that cycle of abuse. not where she is right now. maybe not ever. #which means 🤔 #what if - and i'm just spitballing here - i kill him off? #........😏 #oh that does sound satisfying ngl #it's not like i've given him much else to do #he mostly pops up every now and then to trigger both dean's fight or flight daddy issues and his overprotective husband issues #hmmm #anti quentin lance #arrow discourse #(*my hot take is that i think quentin lance is worse than john winchester. disclaimer: yes i'm aware that's an unpopular opinion. #i'm also aware it's ~cringe~ to be arrow posting in 2023 almost 2024 but this is how long it takes me to write lol)

[mwydyn]

I hate paid for experience opportunities

like when you have to pay for yourself and it's not just covering your transport/accommodation/food

it's paying to be allowed to do it

and you still have to apply! and complete!

I can sort of sometimes understand when you have to pay to support yourself even though it's annoying and stupid. but hate when you have to pay extra

#like in a we don't have much funding and you're not very qualified to help but you scratch my back i'll scratch yours #but it still means richer people get more opportunities once again #being told about the dean of my department being a volcanologist who does trips to S. America and students can go along #but oh it might be expensive #(she said she'll try to find out at least) #also frustrating the my tutor didn't actually know that much about what fields have more jobs in them #she's about 70 so i guess it's not been relevant to her for awhile #but you're a university tutor!! #worm food