#she freaks me out way more than michael did cause i have no fucking clue whats going on with her

[cherryskyies]

The slashers reacting to their s/o passing out.

This was requested by anon!

Includes: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Pennywise, and Ghostface!!

“I was wondering if I can have hcs with Michael, Jason, Freddy, Pennywise and Ghost face reacting to their female!s/o passing out? Thank you”

I hope you and everyone else who reads this enjoys it!

Warnings: Suggestive nsfw with Michael. Not any actual nsfw though.

Main Masterlist

(Take this gif, it’s all I can offer photo wise)

Michael

Confused. One minute you were standing in the kitchen cooking dinner, Michael beside you leaning against the counter, and the next you were on the ground. I mean, honestly, he should have known you were going to pass out but he took your slow and wobbly self as the aftermath of last night (wink wOnk)

Stares at you. Michael will watch you for a second before taking any action. Once he realizes you aren’t getting up, he takes it upon himself to lift you and drag you to your shared bedroom. Michael couldn’t just leave you there, he isn’t a total monster.

Finishes cooking, kind of. This man can not cook, so instead of finishing up what you started, he takes it off the stove and stores it away for when you wake up. He might clean up a little, only if he’s feeling generous though. You were lucky he didn’t just leave you on the kitchen floor and eat some snacks while he waited for you to awake and finish dinner.

Jason

You knew what was going to happen before it actually happened. This isn’t the first time you’ve passed out, but it’s definitely the first time Jason has. You were on your way to the bathroom when the dizzy spell and black dots hit. You tried supporting yourself on the wall as you walked, hoping it would pass. Instead of it passing though, you passed out. The thump alerting Jason.

Freaks out. Jason freaks the fuck out. All he knows is one second you were getting up to use the bathroom, and now you were in front of him unresponsive and lying on the floor. Thank god for his mother though, she calmly informed him that you probably passed out, and to check your pulse and place you on the bed till you wake.

Doesn’t leave your side. For the 5 whole minutes you were knocked out, Jason didn’t leave. Hell, he almost crushed you with a hug when you did wake up. ‘You had him worried sick, (Y/N)!’ Next time, try to inform him that you feel like passing out so he doesn’t freak again.

Freddy

One of the few times he was in the real world with you. He was rarely ever in the physical world with you. Usually, he preferred when you two spent time together in his world. But sometimes you’d convince him to join you and he’d agree. This was one of those nights.

You were happily making popcorn out in the kitchen when it hit. You didn’t want to alarm Freddy or anything, thinking that it would just pass and you’d be good for the movie night you two planned. Well, you were wrong. Just as the microwave signaled for the popcorn being done, you fell. It wasn’t a long-lasting pass out, your vision cleared and you were awake once you hit the ground. That still didn’t stop Freddy from rushing in worried.

Scolded you for not telling him right away. “I may not show it as much as I’d like, but I really care about you darling and if you get injured because you didn’t tell me you felt sick or something, I might just have to keep you in the dream realm where you can’t get hurt.”

Pennywise

He was out doing his usual scaring and killing business while you were “home” cooking. The food was mainly for you as Pennywise didn’t need to eat human food. Every now and then he would eat some just to taste though. You were going for the spices when you slipped on a water pile and crashed against the floor, your head hitting against it hard causing you to pass out.

You were out for around 30 minutes, the feeling of someone shaking you awaking you. When you opened your eyes, you were met with Pennywise’s yellow ones. He was obviously worried and why? You had no clue as you were just starting to regain your senses. “Oh, hey Penny.” You greeted, to which he frowned. “Why are you on the floor, love? And why do I smell blood?”

That’s when it hit you. ‘You were cooking dinner and when you went for the spices and slipped on a water puddle.’ You groaned, the ache in the back of your head making itself known. “Haha, yeah I fell earlier when I was cooking. Sorry.”

It’s safe to say he was not impressed and contemplated banning your kitchen privileges, the only thing stopping him was you being the only one that knows how to cook.

Ghost face

You both should have seen it coming. He had scolded you multiple times today to eat, and each time you would nod and say “Yeah yeah, I will after I complete this.” You’ve just been so busy today that the thought of food totally slipped by you and he would always scold you about it when you were busy.

By the end of the night, you were finally done with work. And planning to keep your promise that you would eat something by the time he came home, you set your laptop down and got up to walk to the kitchen. Halfway to the kitchen, you felt light-headed and black dots blurred your vision. Too busy trying to stay up and walking, you didn’t hear the door open or your name get called.

Disappointed. He was disappointed, but not surprised. This wasn’t the first time (and it won’t be the last) you were too caught up in work to eat, even with the hourly scolding he’d give. This was the first time it got so bad you passed out though. Even though you were out maybe 20 seconds, he was still scared and promised he’d force-feed you soup the next time he had to tell you to eat more than once.

#slasher #Slashers #ghostface #ghostface headcanon #pennywise #pennywise headcanon #michael #Michael Myers #michael myers headcanons #jason voorhees #jason voorhees headcanons #freddy krueger #freddy krueger headcanon #slashers headcanons #michael myers x reader #jason vorhees x reader #freddy krueger x reader #ghostface x reader #pennywise x reader #michael myers imagine #jason vorhees imagine #freddy krueger imagine #pennywise imagine #ghostface imagine #slasher fluff #michael myers fluff

[jadedlavendergemini]

As Promised

Summary: If you were to ask Emma Moore how out of control her life became just before the apocalypse, she would have told you how she had never seen it coming. How she fell for someone that she should have avoided at all cost and how she had no control of any of it in anyway possible. Of course she had no clue of her own ‘destiny’. Michael Langdon x OC

A/N: Sorry for the wait! I just started back at my second job and things have been crazy. I want to thank everyone for the positive feedback. I’m so happy so many of you enjoy my writing. If anyone would liked to be tagged in the next update, just let me know! Also I am STILL posting from my phone’

Tag list: @7-wonders @fallenangeldreamer @plymptxn @fckinsupreme

Part one here!!

——————————————————————————

Emma wasn’t always stuck in her dorm. Occasionally she did attend lessons in the classroom with the other students. She did get along fairly well with most of the students. Sometimes she was annoyed at how she was treated by other students but there were a few she liked to call friends.

Most of the time the other students were afraid of her father. John Henry tried not to show favoritism, but not that he needed to. Emma was treated as fair as his other students. He was thankful Behold felt the same way. He felt proud of her progress since her powers first showed. The two agreed that she would better off residing in Hawthorne than Robichauxs. To them, Cordelia was just dangerous. She attracted danger like a magnet.

Three times Cordelia tried to reach out to him in regards to his daughter. She insisted that Emma would excel and grow with her fellow witches. And every time he would tell her no. He wanted her close by at all times. The fear of losing her to some freak accident caused by Cordelia or any of her girls haunted his thoughts often.

She never put up an argument about Robichauxs, she was comfortable where she was. She was a good kid, Behold always told him. She had her fair share of anxiety so naturally giving her her own space was good.

Ariel and Baldwin detested the idea of her attending the school. They argued with John Henry for at least three hours before giving in and laying down the rules. At this time Behold had his back and agreed to help teach the young witch. And she proved herself almost immediately to the instructors. In no time she was already considered at level three.

She was currently sitting in the class room with a few students listening to one of Behold’s lectures. She had paid attention for the first half but towards the end, she felt a strange, low vibration in her skull. Her head aches as she presses her finger tips to her temples.

“You good?” She looked to her left. Edward, another one of the nicer students asks.

Emma nodded. “Yeah, just a headache.”

He just nods and returns his attention back to their instructor, but she cannot focus. All she can do is close her eyes and wait for it to stop.

By the time the lesson was over, Emma noticed that the constant buzzing in the back of her head had stopped. She followed the rest of the class out of the room and into the halls toward the private wing of the school.

She was caught off guard when a strong force knocked the two books out of her arms. When she stopped and looked up, she was met with the faces of three male students who stood to the side of the hallway.

“Sorry ‘bout that, Emma.” Thomas Albershaugh said. Thomas Albershaugh was one of the few students that gave the young witch a hard time. His friends Erik and Justin did just about the same.

Erik used his foot to push off the wall where he had been leaning and approached her. “Let me get that for you.”

Emma glared as he reaches down, picked up both books and place them back in her waiting hands. Before she could turn to walk away and not bother to make a smart comment, once again the books went flying out of her hands by an unseen force. Most likely made by Justin or Thomas.

“Oops.” Justin laughed as Erik stepped around Emma. By this point many of the other students had stopped to watch.

Emma rolled her eyes. “Very mature, assholes.”

“Why don’t you bend over and pick them up for us?” Thomas laughed. “Give us a show.”

The witch now self consciously gripped the ends of her black dress Skirt to make sure it was pulled down. Hesitate steps were taken to where the books had landed right in front of the morons themselves. She slowly bent her knees and with her right arm, she extends it to grab them, while the other hand is holding onto the skirt to prevent any kind of ‘show’ she was teased about.

Just as her hand gripped one of the books, another unseen force knocked her down completely. Luckily for Emma, her skirt kept down, but The boys laughed and she swore she heard other student whistle.

And in that moment, she felt pure rage. Nothing like what she had felt before. Before, she would just walk back to dorm and cry with frustration, but today that was not the case. She remained sitting on the floor and glared at the three boys. Her heart raced and hands formed into fists. Before she could intentionally hex them, Thomas went flying back into the wall, his head made contact with the wall with a loud thud. Erik’s head flew back as if he had been punched directly in the nose and Jared was thrown face down onto the cement floor.

Just like that, all the laughter and whistling stopped. The students became silent, some whispering as they stared at the three boys and the witch. It took Emma a good minute to realize what had just happened. Her eyes stayed glued to Thomas in shock as he lay there, not moving. She was in such shock, she didn’t even hear Behold’s voice

Behold had just entered the hall from the class room to see what noises he was hearing from the students. He slowly pushed his way through the students to see Three students, the troublemakers he knew they were, laying on the ground. He followed the other student’s stares to Emma who was currently sitting opposite of the boys, avoiding eye contact with the instructor.

“Alright, what’s going on?” John Henry made his way out next. He immediately stopped when he saw everyone, including Emma.

As he made his way quickly to his daughter, one of the students answered. “Emma kicked their asses!” More students chimed in. “She didn’t even touch them!”

“Out of the hallway now! Get back to your dorms, shows over.” Behold directed the students out and began checking on the three boys who were luckily still alive. His eyes moved to Emma who finally looked away from them but remained seated. “What in the hell happened?”

Erik sat up, blood coating his hands as he held his nose. “She’s a fucking Psycho that’s what happened!”

“You started it, asshole!” She shot back, her fathers hand grasped her shoulder.

John Henry rolled his eyes. “Alright, well we’re ending it right now.” He helped pull her to her feet. “You, young lady are to go and clean yourself up and go back to your room. We’ll discuss this later.”

Emma followed her fathers words and left as Behold and her father tried to get the other three students taken care of. She replayed the event in her head over and over trying to understand how she did it. She didn’t even recall uttering a word to pull that off.

As she finally made it to her dorm, she tried to find a simple explanation to what it could have been. And what was she going to tell her father? She had no idea.

Closing the door behind her, she made her way to her bathroom. She needed to shower, might help her relax after her embarrassing throw down. She let the water warm up in the shower as she stripped off her uniform. Only looking up at the mirror once does she realize what she looks like right now.

Dried blood that stuck to her right nostril, perhaps from all that energy she released on those boys? Great, now she does look like a psycho that Erik had claimed her to be.

‘What the actual fuck?’ She thought to herself, taking a cloth nearby, wetting it with the tap and using it to clean the blood.

——————————————————————————

Not too long after her shower, Emma was changed into her night clothes. She had already dried her dirty blonde waves and was currently resting on her bed with her spell book in hand. She was trying to distract herself from the fact her father was going to demand what or how she pulled off what had happened earlier.

The sound of her door opening held her attention, closing her book and placing it gently on the night stand. Her father made his way into the room and took a seat opposite from her at the desk. Facing him, she noticed how stressed he seemed to look. She must have pissed off Ariel.

Looking at his daughter, John was the first to speak.“I just finished speaking with Ariel and Baldwin. Ariel is beyond furious to know that a witch, whom he allows to study here, attacked three of his level 2 warlocks.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “It’s not like they’re dead-“

“That’s not the point, Emma. Two boys have broken noses and Thomas has a concussion and a possible skull fracture. I don’t know which spell you used, but you have caused them some serious harm. Ariel and Behold are going to have to deal with the parents.” He sounded almost frightened himself. “I need to know, from you, what happened?

The girl nodded, looking down to her feet dangling off the bed. “I was leaving class and they were picking on me. Well, it was more like sexual harassment and usually I can ignore them but they knocked the books out of my hands and then me.” Her voice started to crack. “I was just so angry, I guess. I was trying to think of something to do and then it just happened. I don’t know what I did.”

John nodded. “Well, like I said Ariel wasn’t very happy but I was able to talk him down. He wanted to have you expelled but I opted something else. Probation.” Emma looked confused. “Dorm lessons only. No classes, no library. You’ll either eat your meals in my office or in here.”

“But, for how long?” She asked.

He stood from the chair, arms crossed over his chest. “Until Ariel says it’s over. Emma, I am sticking up for you as best as I can. But you have got to meet me half way here, okay? This attacking other students stuff? Never again.”

“It won’t.” She promised.

John nodded. “Alright we’ll, get some rest. Behold will be in first thing for your lessons tomorrow.”

And with that he was gone. Emma Laos back onto the bed and sighed. It was going to be a long probation.

——————————————————————————

For the rest of the week Emma was adjusting to her new schedule. Wake up and change, classes held in her dorm with either Behold or her father, eat lunch in her dorm, study in her dorm, and eat dinner... in her dorm. She was beginning to feel lonely. She wanted just to visit the library, but received the same answer every time. She was sick of the same books she was given by her father.

It was around 10 O’clock on a Friday when Emma had given up on following those rules. All instructors had turned in for the night and students as well so there was no way she’d be caught. She wrapped herself in a thick cardigan and made her way quietly out of her dorm. She was sure to keep an eye out as she tip toed her way through the secluded hallways of Hawthorne.

Once she made it to the poorly lit room, she made herself at home. Grabbing the first book she found on hexes. She wanted to know exactly what had happened to those boys and what she did exactly to cause it. She sat curled up on the plush cushions of the couch and read through multiple chapters. She was so focused, she let her guard down and didn’t even notice the other presence enter the room.

“Do you always hang out in the library this late?” She jumped and turned around in shock, but relaxed once she saw that it was Michael.

She carefully raised a finger to her lips with a smile. “Not really, but I didn’t really have a choice.”

Michael made his way into the library, he still wore his uniform but without the jacket, tie abandoned and sleeves rolled up. He took a seat next to her on the couch. “Haven’t seen you in a while. The word in class is that you got expelled.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “Almost. I’m on ‘probation’. Which means that I’m basically stuck in my room.”

“So you snuck out,” he smiled, adding on. “Look at you.”

She looked away, trying to hide her blush. But Michael has already seen it. “So, how bad is the gossip?”

Michael shrugged, leaning back more into the cushions. “That you kicked that kid’s ass. Sorry I missed it, heard it was ‘messy’.”

“I didn’t do ‘anything’.” She confessed. “At least I don’t think I did. I honestly can’t figure it out.”

“Well did they upset you, right? Maybe it was just your emotions lashing out? That’s what I did when I-“ he stopped.

“When you what?” She asked, closing her book softly.

“When Ariel found me, I was in jail. I was protecting someone I care about and well, I accidentally killed him. They arrested me and the cop wanted me to confess so he started to beat me and again, I lashed out. I didn’t even know I could do that. The point is I think our emotions play a big role in what we can do. That and that Thomas kid seemed like an ass.”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

It grew quiet between the two. While Emma thought more about what he had told her, Michael took this time to observe her. She looked different in her comfortable pajamas than in her Hawthorne uniform, not that he mind. The fire from the fireplace illuminated the skin of her bare legs and her cardigan slightly open, showing a her thin camisole top. Her long hair curled and shaped her face and laid past her shoulders.

He flicked his eyes back to her face only to find hers on him. She slowly wrapped the cardigan around her a little tighter and sighed. It only just occurred to her that not only had she broke one of the rules for her probation, she broke her father’s rule about Michael. Not wanting to get caught with both, she began to sit up and pick up her book.

“It’s getting late and I don’t want to get caught. I better head back,” she said standing up, book held tightly to her chest.

Michael stood immediately. “Can I walk you to your dorm?”

While Emma should have felt uncomfortable, she didn’t. Instead she felt almost flattered. She nodded and led the way. Michael smiled and followed, hands clasped behind his back.

“So, how do you like the school?” She asked, wanting to end the silence.

“It’s good, everyone is very nice. Although, I swear your father hates me.”

She smiled and shook her head. “He’s just hard on everyone and very protective of the school.”

“And you,” he added.

She nodded. “Of course.”

“What about your mother?”

Emma didn’t speak and her small smile was gone. “Uh, she died when I was two. So I don’t really remember her. So it’s just my dad and me.”

Michael could feel her emotions remain the same. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He added quickly. “My mom tried to kill me when I was younger.”

The witch’s brow furrowed and stopped to look at him. “Oh god, I’m sorry.”

Michael only offered a small smile and shook his head. “It’s alright, she just didn’t understand who I was. But I have a foster mom, of sorts. She’s great and takes good care of me that I don’t even think about my mom.”

“Oh, well that’s good, I suppose.” She replied, beginning to walk again. Emma’s thoughts raced as she thought about what he had said. A mother attempting to kill her own child, the poor boy probably went through a lot.

They finally came to the private wing of Hawthorne and stopped. “There’s a spell on this wing so other students can’t enter so,” Emma balances on her toes. “Thanks for walking with me.”

“I really enjoy your company,” he said. “Do you think you can sneak out again sometime soon?”

“Michael I-“ she sighs. “I probably shouldn’t. I don’t want to get in trouble. Ariel already hates me and I don’t want to get expelled.” She watched his lips fall from that beautiful smile of his. And suddenly she didn’t care. It seems that she had finally made a friend, a friend she wanted to get to know more. “You know what, sure. Can we meet in the library again tomorrow night?”

“Sounds good. 10 o’clock?”

She smiles. “10 o’clock. Good Night, Michael.”

He watches as she makes her way to her door at the end of the hall and disappear. He quietly observed the corridor itself. A spell to keep students out, really? He cautiously stepped over the threshold of the hallway, waiting for something to shove him away, but nothing happens. Placing his hands behind his back once more, he quietly makes his way to her door. He can practically feel her emotions blossom into happiness. And it’s something he wants to her to feel all the time, he wants to be the one to bring out that smile of hers.

He felt pride for what she did to Thomas and his friends. Well, what he did. The second he heard those words from the boy’s mouth he wanted to snap their necks right there. But he knew he needed to keep low. So he did what anyone would do for their soulmate, he gave her energy. The warlocks believed Emma’s actions to be from her emotions, not Michael’s magic. She didn’t know it, but there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her.

As for her father, he may need to be a little careful around. He knew John Henry was already suspicious. Nothing he or Miss Meade couldn’t handle.

#as promised fic #ahs apocalypse #michael langdon x oc #michael langdon #cody fern

[ma-gic-gay]

"What the fuck?" Michael asks, voice at a dangerous level. He startles them and they pull apart. "You two promised me you're not in a relationship, so what do you call this?"

They've been caught.

Shit.

"Kissing," Carly answers quickly, half lying and half telling the truth. "We're not dating."

"Then please explain to me what this is, Mom," he asks. "You too, Jason."

"Explain what?" Joss asks, walking into the room.

"They kissed."

"Avery owes me 5 bucks now," the blonde smiles. "I can buy a coffee with that money."

"Great, a free coffee. Are you at all having an emotional reaction to Mom and Jason kissing?" Michael asks his sister, who's ignoring him.

"Not my business who Mom and Jason kiss," she responds calmly.

When did she get so grown up? She had her "child of the corn" years a few years ago, but now she's an adult and not freaking out over this? His goddaughter's all grown up. One hell of a way to make you feel old.

"I can't believe you're so calm about this, Joss! They lied to us!"

"Did they? They said they weren't dating. First off, that's a present tense which could've changed, and they didn't say anything about kissing in hospitals," she says, confused.

"Here's that first aid kit for Jason, Carly," Elizabeth says, entering the tense room and handing it to the traumatized woman in the hospital bed. "Do you two need something?"

"My mother to figure out what the hell she feels for Jason Morgan," Michael answers bitterly.

"I'm not going to ask."

"They kissed! And they did it yesterday!" Michael exclaims, emotions getting the best of him before he can remember his tact.

Everyone's shocked he screamed that, Elizabeth especially. "Well. Um, I'm gonna head out. You guys enjoy... Whatever this is."

That's one way for it to come out.

"It's out in the open now," Carly chuckles, opening up the first aid kit and pulling out the bandages, hydrogen peroxide, and Neosporin.

"Mom, what are you doing with his hand?"

"He punched a wall so I'm cleaning up the cuts."

"Why'd you do that?"

"People were gossipping about your mother and what happened to her tonight. It pissed me off and I ended up punching a wall."

"By the looks of it you broke the wall."

"Nah, just a few scratches," Jason tells him before the stinging sensation of the hydrogen peroxide is on his hand. Not exactly a pleasant one.

"Well, are you okay?"

"Besides the fact your mother is stinging me with this stuff, I'm fine."

"Good. What happened to you tonight, Mom?" Michael asks gingerly.

Suddenly, the tension in the air amplifies by 50 if that's even possible. There's a good minute and a half where it's just an awkward silence before Carly answers him, filling the time with applying bandaids to his wounds, "Cyrus took me from the Metro Court. Well, one of his goons. But the goon took me to the Floating Rib, that little room above the bar. Somehow he knew the importance of that place to me and I was kidnapped. He raped me. I also got pretty beat up when I was resisting. Just when I was sure I'd never leave that room, Jason came in and saved me. Cyrus is in police custody right now and there's no way in hell he's getting off."

"He always saves all of us," Joss smiles at him. "Thanks."

"Anytime. I'll always save you guys, you know that," Jason returns her smile and sees one appear on Michael's face as well, though he's half ready to kill someone. It always happens when someone brings up rape, Michael gets distant and mad. Probably because of his own experience with it.

It's a good thing Cyrus is in police custody because if he wasn't, Jason has a feeling that he'd end up helping them cover up a murder.

"Mom, I'm so sorry you had to go through it. Cyrus is a sick bastard. You know that I'll be able to pull some strings and all of the Quartermaine's will testify in your behalf if you need to go to trial," Michael offers.

"Thanks, but I'm hoping he'll plead guilty and I won't have to sit through a trial."

"Well, if you do, you've got the best lawyer in the state on your side and all of us," Joss says, "besides, there's a bunch of evidence he did it. And everyone knows Jason's practically incapable of lying, so he'll be a great witness!"

"You, on the other hand, are a good liar, Joss," Michael counters.

"The law doesn't know that, Michael."

"I better never get a call I have to bail you out of jail."

"I'll call Cam or Trina. You'll be last on the list of people I'd call to bail me out, trust me," she playfully reassures her brother.

"Is that an insult or a compliment?"

"You pick."

"I'm sorry, but Mrs. Corinthos cannot have visitors anymore," Epiphany tells them, interrupting the group gathering.

Sadly, her kids say goodbye to her, promising to visit in the morning. Jason, however, doesn't leave his chair. "Mr. Morgan, did you hear me? No more visitors. Visiting hours are over."

"I'm family."

"So are her children. They don't get to stay the night, neither do you."

"I need him to stay. When I sleep, I keep having nightmares- screaming, terrifying nightmares, and he's the only one who can get me back to sleep. Come on, Epiphany, you know we always spend the night in each other's hospital rooms," Carly attempts to bargain with the nurse.

"And if this were normal circumstances, I would allow it."

"What about this isn't normal circumstances?" Jason asks.

"Well, first off, Michael told Elizabeth about your... Activity. And second, this is a police investigation too. Hospital policy says that he can't stay the night."

"Oh my god," Carly scoffs, "because my son discussed something with us that Lizzie overheard and then spread to the whole town by now, he can't spend the night? Epiphany, I've given myself panic attacks with these nightmares already and he's been here! He's the only person who can calm me down and I know how important rest is for recovery. Besides, it's not like we have no self control. I would never have sex in a hospital."

Epiphany cocks an eyebrow at Jason, who innocently raises his hands. "You know me better than that."

Carly starts laughing at him being stared down by Epiphany, who he simply stated blankly at back. It's a contest of who's going to back down first, and they all know he'll win. His stubbornness is one personality trait that always comes out in hospitals.

"Fine. But I swear, if you two go at it, there will be hell to pay," Epiphany threatens before leaving, letting Jason stay in there. A win. "And she cannot stay up all night making out with you, she needs her rest. So do you, you look like hell."

"Yes ma'am," they answer and she shakes her head before closing the door.

"I feel like I'm in high school again," Carly jokes.

"No clue what that's like."

"Hell, if you're me. You, though, I bet you were that one kid all the teachers loved and the students too. A golden boy. I'm convinced you would've hated me in high school."

"Well, I wouldn't have remembered it anyways," he reminds her.

"Nah, I'm unforgettable," she says, a smirk playing on her lips. "Even with an amnesia causing coma."

"That's not how it-" he gets cut off by her kissing him again.

This is becoming more and more normal and that scares him. He's comfortable in his reality and, as usual, she's ready to bring Hurricane Carly into his life and break his equilibrium.

Well, that and the thought she could make another of those lists. The list scares him more than breaking this state of equilibrium.

"We promised Epiphany we wouldn't do this," he reminds her when they break apart.

"No, we promised her I'd rest and that we wouldn't stay up all night kissing or have sex," Carly corrects.

"Yes, you need your rest, Carly. Please, try to sleep," he urges.

"I'm offended!"

"Carly-"

"You have a guy telling you you're wrong and shut him up and now you've got to sleep. God how times have changed."

"No, it's not that. You, however, need your sleep. Besides, if you have a nightmare, I promise you can kiss me again," he finds himself saying.

Well. That part was unexpected. He really needs a reevaluation of feelings for her.

"Well, if his Royal Highness-"

"I'll kiss you if you have a nightmare, alright?" Jason revises his statement and she smiles.

"Deal."

"Good, you need to rest."

"So do you."

"Just worry about yourself, I'm fine."

"Mhm," she haphazardly agrees, allowing herself to fall back into a slumber while he shifts in the chair he's mastered the ability of sleeping in over the years.

To be continued later in life when it's not 1:30 am est

go to sleep :)

[comfysocksfirst]

Chihayafuru as NBA Players!! Part 1

Oh Man!! Two of my great loves Chihayafuru and basketball. Finally they meet. No one asked for this. This is most likely an incredibly small venn diagram of converging interests.Nonetheless here it is which NBA player is the real world equal of which Chihayafuru character. Note: I tend to skew more current with my NBA picks mostly cause that’s what I’m most familiar with but also because it is much more difficult to know those older players’ personalities. One more note I just now decided to include runner-up choices for some people I think it will mostly be a jokey runner up. Wataya Arata: Oh boy let’s start hot! My second favorite character in the series he is the Karuta God and the True soul-mate to Chihaya. Disagree? Fite me. He is STEPHEN CURRY. Karuta is the family business. He is the legacy one born to devastate. I could see Nicki Minaj dropping Arata’s name in her songs calling out to him all at hours talking about those eyes, that accent, and that water-like play style that has her downing gallons of his essence. He’s also perfectly chill to outer appearances. Everyone thinks he’s having a good time win or lose but they don’t notice how he’s smiling at them while he is steadily inching closer to dropping 50 on them. Shinobu Wakamiya: I’m not letting up with this second name. My all time favorite characther in the series.Sharpest dresser in the hemisphere. The youngest Queen of all. You know this. She is KOBE. And not one to be fucked with. She brings that Mamba Mentality to all she does whether it’s destroying her opponents 25-0 or slinging them pastries she takes no prisoners. She’s eked out every drop of potential she possesses with constant practice and total devotion to Karuta. She’s all about that grind and sees the game in a way only she can some would even say it’s crazy??? Anyone and everyone trying to take cards from her is her enemy and she’ll cut them if given chance when they take some of her favorites. Runner-up: Michael Jordan. The GOAT. I like that the similarity that they both pushed away and oftentimes used the people around them in order to get better. But ultimately didn’t go with MJ cause he walked away from the game at his peak for a year and change and I don’t see Shinobu ever doing that. Chihaya Ayase: The protagonist. Lady Big Eyes. Mrs. Daddy Bear. President/Founder/(Only Member??) of the Chitose Appreciation Society. She’s gotta be GIANNIS. A physical freak who’s sheer athleticism catapults her puts her in the realm of Class A. Everywhere Giannis goes he draws them eyes and the same can said of this beauty who can rattle her male opponents with a smile or even just eye contact. Who else is on Giannis’ team? What? Can’t name anyone else cause you’re not a basketball fan? Well let me tell you even if you were a fan you might struggle cause he’s carrying that team on his back! And so is this young lady. They got some good players on this squad but this Ace knows well that is she don’t win and cruise through to victory it could adversely affect her team’s psyche so she is unstoppable on her own much like Giannis’ fast breaks. Runner-up: Ben Simmons was my first choice for her but ultimately I decided against him cause I think he’s not a great team player and I don’t think he’s serious enough about improving his deficiencies. I thought these runner ups were supposed to be funny??? IDK Kanade Oe: KENDRICK PERKINS. I’m kinda running out of steam here. And I got a long list to go. Kana-chan and Kendrick both top heavy. I never really noticed until they made it a topic of discussion in the mini-comic. But damn yeah definitely carrying a lot of weight on top.  She’s also the team enforcer. Hear me out on this. Sure she’s small but she’s probably the most serious of all the team. Serious about life, about how people should behave, about the beauty of Karuta. And if anyone is disrespecting the poems--You better hold her back!! She will get into the face of anyone lowkey Empress in the making. She’s also a big small voice in the locker room a different type of leader than Ayase and Taichi. She knows what poems people need to hear to click back in into the present. Perk is an old-school kind of player and Kana-chan has an old-school mentality and while both were important members of their title winning teams they weren’t close to being the focus. Midori Tamaru: I actually forgot I wrote a write-up for her! Cool I’m glad I did. She is LUKA DONCIC. She is a shit-talker supreme. She wants all the smoke and she got all the weapons. Big-time potential. Everyone saying to her Wait your turn. But Fuck It she says and is ready to shoot her shot. Drop a cold 3 at the buzzer to win a playoff game in front of a 10 year vet who’s desperate for a win. They’re both missing one critical aspect of their game. For Luka he needs to increase his stamina for Tamaru she needs to get mentally tough. Right now she can most definitely be fucked with and she may be the only one that don’t know it. But any team with her is going to be in the conversation for best in their region and they should be looking to book a hotel by the big red shrine every year. Dr. Harada: Da Big Bear. Brown Bear? Black Bear? Daddy Bear? He all da bear. A walking a build-a-bear-workshop. What’s that mean? I have no clue. This guy. There’s a reason he was Ayase’s first love. He cuddly af but he still got that tenacity and overwhelming physicality that keeps him happily married decades later and a Karuta vet to be feared. I went with a non-contemporary player for the Dr. and no not Dr.J but rather his teammate MOSES MALONE. Nicknamed the Chairman of the Board cause he throws his body into every rebound lunging wildly at each miss cause he KNOWS that every rebound is his by right. Yeah that sound our friend the bear. Moses played a looooong time longer maybe than one might think considering the era he played in and how physical his game was. But that incredible body of his allowed him to stay in the game as long as wanted throwing elbows to clear out any close competition. Alright I’m tired Part 2 to come soon. It’s already written out I just HATE transcribing. There’s another 9 characters to come! Let me know what you all think please. Am I alone in my dual NBA and Chihayafuru fandom??

#chihayafuru #wataya arata #harada #shinobu wakamiya #nba as anime #venn diagram #chiharata #first post I've written here #should I play better attention to my grammar in these #to be continued

[5sos-kingsandqueens]

In This City~chapter15~Luke Hemmings

IN THIS CITY

CHAPTER 15

MCKINLEY P.O.V

Ashton had been an amazing friend recently and I really appreciated him. I had been working from home but my place was a mess. So he came over everyday to make help me clean and to make sure I was eating.

It was rough. I wanted to believe everyone when they said that they weren't going to get married and that something would probably go wrong. But it didn't seem that way for Michael. He was happily married and trying for a baby.

"He promised me." I whispered to Ashton at dinner. "He promised we would get married."

"I know he did." Ashton commented. We were cuddled on the couch. He was practically living here. He had an entire rack of clothes hung up in my closet. He has slept over every single night since I found out the news.

The tears never seemed to run out.

"He told me he wasn't happy." I whispered. And I was stupid enough to believe him. "It's so stupid that I'm hung up on him but I can't help it."

"You love him." It wasn't a question. Even if it was, he already knew the answer. "Did you ever stop?"

"Not really. I mean when he was gone and I didn't see him it was sort of like out of sight out of mind? Sometimes. It was worse at night because I had no one to talk to. Now it's just like an ache. I've never felt like this in entire life." I sighed. "Will it ever stop?" My questioned went unanswered.

"I guess that's why they say falling into love."

"Because you fall, and hit the ground. Because no one catches you."

"That's cheesy."

"And true." We sat in silence. "I'm so hungry." I broke the silence.

"Want me to order something?"

"Sure. I could really go for a chicken caesar salad." I commented. "And 40 shots of vodka."

"No. We're not drinking." He said making me groan as he pulled out of his phone. "Do you remember what happened last time?" The night after I found out that Luke was getting married, I got trashed and needed to be rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. Ashton stayed with me the entire time but he wasn't happy with me at all.

"It won't be like last time." I promised him. Ashton deserved more than that and we both knew it. I didn't want to put Ashton through anything else. He had already been an amazing friend. I couldn't thank him enough. "You should have some sympathy sex with me."

"This is for sure not happening." He said without missing a beat. "You're just hurting right now. You don't really want to have sex with me."

"Well if Luke can move on, why can't I?"

"Bro code. I'm not fucking his ex girl." Ashton commented silencing me so he could call in our food. I stayed quiet as he finished the order and grabbed his keys. "Do you want to come with me or are you gonna stay here?"

"I'll come." I commented standing up and putting a pair of vans on. I walked out after him and locked the door. We both headed downstairs and out into the street. "We could probably just eat there." I commented.

"If you want."

"I don't see the point in carrying it back." I commented putting my arm through his as we walked. We walked in silence before getting to the little pizza shop that Ashton loved. I went to sit at a table while he went to pay and get our food. "So, any women in your life?"

"Just you." He confirmed as he poured dressing over his salad and shook it up.

"I'm by the far the prettiest." I joked.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." He smiled at me. "Calum would like to come over for a movie night."

"Sounds good to me."

"He just got Disney Plus so he's freaking out."

"He's adorable." Once we finished eating we headed back to the apartment. Ashton texted Calum that we were back. I laid on the couch while he hooked up the Disney Plus on the t.v.

"What do you want to watch?" Calum asked sitting next to me by my head and throwing his arm across me.

"Whatever." I answered. "I don't really care." I took the blanket off the end of the couch and wrapped myself in it. Ashton sat down by my feet.

"Star Wars it is." Calum smiled putting on the movie. I had never seen any of the Star Wars so I had no idea what was going on. I wanted to ask questions but I knew that always got them mad so I held off. Somewhere in the middle of the movie I got up to get myself a bowl of ice cream. They both watched me closely as I walked to the kitchen.

"You okay?" Ashton asked.

"Just getting ice cream." I answered. Then I looked at Calum. "Wanna know something?"

"Sure."

"Ashton won't fuck me." His eyes widened at my words. "He won't even give me a little bit of sex just to make me feel better."

"I don't think it would make you feel better. I think you would regret not only doing that to yourself, but to Luke."

"I don't give a fuck about Luke."

"That's a lie and you know it." Ashton fought. "You love him."

"But he doesn't love me!" I shouted. "He didn't love me enough to stay." I slammed the bowl on the coffee table. Ashton took a deep breath before standing up and holding me. He held my head to his chest while I cried.

"I can't do it. I'm sorry." I wrapped my arms around him. He slowly sat back down on the couch with me in his lap. I have no idea how I would get through this if it wasn't for Ashton.

*LUKE P.O.V*

Wedding plans were in full swing. Kristen was like a tornado running around making calls. We had picked a date for next year. Now it was a big rush to get everything planned. I let her make most of the plans.

The apartment had been quiet lately. Michael was off being married and I had no clue where Ashton had been. He hasn't been home in weeks. Calum was rarely here but he slept here every night so at least I knew he was alive.

"Where's Ashton?" I asked him one day when I finally convinced Kristen to let me take a break from wedding plans.

"He's been staying with McKinley."

"Why?" I'm sure the confusion was written all over my face. "Is he sleeping with her?" Calum rolled his eyes.

"If they were, would you be mad?" I sat back in my chair and thought about it.

"Are they sleeping together?"

"No." He confirmed. "Ashton wouldn't hurt you like that. Since you love McKinley." He added. "Don't you think you're making a huge mistake marrying Kristen?" I ran my hands through my hair. I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I had no idea just how much pain this could cause McKinley.

"I don't know." I answered. "I'm so confused."

"Well I'm not. It's a mistake. You don't love her. Not the way you love McKinley. Don't do this Luke." I sighed.

"I don't want to hurt either of them."

"McKinley has already been hurt, Luke. She's a shell of a person. She isn't the same without you." He said taking a sip of his beer. I stood without saying anything to him. "Where are you going?"

"To McKinley." I answered walking out. I walked as fast as I could down the sidewalk. He met up with me five minutes later.

"It's too late, Luke. You've done enough damage to her."

"I can try to change it." He sighed while trying to keep up with me. "I have to try."

"What if it's not enough?" He asked. "What if she can't forgive you?" He asked as I plugged in the number to the building before the door buzzed and I pulled the door open.

I quickly pressed the button for the elevator and hit her floor. I was nearly bouncing as we rode up to her floor.

"I'm not sticking around to watch this." Calum commented hitting the button to our floor. I stepped out and didn't bother watching the doors close behind me before knocking on McKinley's door.

"What do you want?"

"Where is she?" Ashton was blocking my entry to her apartment.

"I finally got her calmed down. She's taking a bath. What do you want?" He asked again.

"I want to talk to her."

"You've done enough."

"Who is it?" She asked from behind him. Her voice was soft. Almost like velvet. Ashton turned to look at her but as he stepped back he opened the door so I could see her. She was clutching a towel and her eyes widened. "Wow." She nodded looking at Ashton. "That's super."

"I just want to talk." I said tucking my hands into my pockets. "I think I have some explaining to do."

"You explained yourself enough by proposing to someone else." She said. I could see the hurt in her eyes.

"What do you want from me?" I asked getting angry.

"You know exactly what I want."

"What do you want?" I asked again.

"You!" She shouted.

"You can't have me." She glanced at Ashton before looking back at me.

"Why are you here?" She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "Was it just to hammer that one last nail in my coffin, Luke? To take that final piece of my heart that wasn't broken?"

"I made a mistake."

"Yeah. I did too. Loving you was the biggest mistake I ever made." As I stepped towards her, she turned and went into her bedroom. My heart was beating fast and my breathing was uneven.

"That wasn't the mistake I made." I commented to no one in particular but Ashton heard it.

"Why are you such a dumbass?" Ashton asked. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to answer that. "She's amazing, Luke. She is everything you have ever wanted and you're letting her slip away." He shook his head. "She loves you." I wasn't sure how to respond to him.

"What do I do?"

"That's not for me decide." I needed some guidance. I knew I was going to fuck this up and if I wasn't careful I was going to hurt two people. I would ruin two people. But I didn't care if I ruined Kristen. I didn't care if I caused her any type of pain. I cared if I hurt McKinley. She deserved the world. She deserves to be happy and I never wanted to be the guy who hurt her.

"I have to get married." The look on Ashton's face confirmed that I was a dumbass.

"If that's what you think is best."

"You're not fucking helping."

"Stop acting like you don't love that woman in there! She's the greatest thing that ever happened to you and you're throwing her away for some slut you barely know!" He shouted throwing his hands in the air. "You're making a big fucking mistake." He was fuming.

"Are you fucking McKinley or something?" I asked.

"What?"

"Are you having sex with her?"

"No. Even if I was, it's none of your business who she has sex with. Since you ruined her relationship last time because of sex. You've hurt her so deeply and you don't even care."

"I will always care about her."

"Prove it."

#luke hemmings #luke imagine #luke edit #luke au #luke 5sos #luke fanfic #luke fanfiction #5sos #5sos fam #5sos blog #5sos edit #5sos au #5sos fanfic #5sos fanfiction #exboyfriend!luke #chapter 15 #in this city

[faequeentitania]

Actually, Love

[[I can’t believe this is the 11th!! installment of my Cracked: After Hours OT4 series! Bonkers. So tumblr doesn’t eat it, I’m not putting the AO3 link in the post, but if you hover over my icon or username the link to my AO3 is right in my little bio. Sucks that I have to do that to you, but that’s tumblr for you at the moment.

No sexytimes in this one, but I’m hoping to eventually get around to a second chapter, though I don’t know when that will be. Thank you to everyone in this lovely little fandom for following this series, it means so much to me. ❤ ]]

They like to think he’s the dumb one of the group. And maybe sometimes he was, about certain things, so sue him. But he was light years ahead of them in the ways that mattered.

He wasn’t embarrassed by his enjoyment of things, for one, unlike Daniel and Soren. Daniel, because he was always afraid of looking foolish, and Soren because he was always afraid of looking weak. It was silly, they were both so silly, because who cared, especially when it came to the four of them. Michael had had his dick inside all of them, what was left to be embarrassed about?

He wasn’t afraid to see things for what they were, either. They all liked to pretend that this thing between them was just a friends with benefits situation. How stupid was that? Michael knew it was love by the second time they all ended up in Soren’s bed, and every day after just confirmed it.

Katie’s hand on his thigh under the table while they chatted at the diner, Soren sending him a cheeky text at work, Daniel shyly accepting a kiss from him in the back of a movie theater. It was all little things, all wonderful, affectionate things they liked to write off as casual but he saw so clearly through that.

Michael was smart enough to keep it to himself, though. They were all clinging so hard to the illusion of casual that he knew shattering it would just make them upset, and he wouldn’t risk it.

He thought maybe they would get the clue-by-four he was swinging at their heads when they talked about rom-coms being bullshit over a shared flask. He was right, of course he was right, that rom-coms only scratched the surface of real love. It was so dumb that they didn’t get it, it couldn’t have been any clearer. They had skipped the rom-com bullshit and dove headfirst into real love, it was singularly incredible to him that he was the only one who saw it.

No dice; they were as oblivious as always, and he resigned himself to be the only one in their little love circle with a shred of sense. It was exhausting sometimes, being the only one with any observational skills. Soren and Katie kept going on dates that went nowhere, and Daniel kept being the socially awkward nerd who had no clue how to talk to anyone.

It was just so dumb, honestly. Michael spent more time in Soren’s bed just sleeping with the three of them than he did having sex with them; if that wasn’t a neon sign of a relationship he didn’t know what was. To say nothing of the time they all spent with each other every day, both in and outside of the office; seeing a movie with Daniel, watching trashy reality shows with Katie, getting a drink and playing pool with Soren. They were dates, this was dating why was he the only one not ignorant of that fact?

They came around eventually, but it didn’t play out the way he thought it would. Not that he had planned it or anything, he didn’t live in a romance novel for god’s sake.

“Would you really replace me?”

Daniel’s voice was soft from the back seat, and there was a moment of surprised silence.

“What?” Katie finally asked, gentle and concerned, and Michael twisted around in the passenger seat to look back at them.

“Replace me,” Daniel said again, softer this time, scrunched down in his seat and staring out the window, his hands folded tightly in his lap.

“Of course we wouldn’t.” Michael frowned, and Daniel glanced up at him, looking weary.

“Oh come on, Dan, you know we were just joking,” Soren piped up from the driver’s seat, reaching up and adjusting the rear view mirror to give him a clear look at Daniel’s face in the reflection.

“Right,” Daniel sighed, looking back out the window, and Michael exchanged a look with Katie.

This wouldn’t be the first time Daniel was self-depreciating. Sometimes it was apropo of nothing, and sometimes, he knew, it was them driving him a little too hard. Tonight was clearly the second one, and Michael felt a little guilty about that. Clearly Katie did too.

Granted, he felt they had had reason to roast him a bit. His “pros and cons” lists about them were just so strange and so unbelievably Daniel, but it didn’t change the fact that the “cons” column had hurt a little bit. He could handle the silly ones, like Daniel’s complaint that Michael didn’t do a good enough job of cleaning his ears, but there were some on there that he really wished Daniel had mentioned long before now. That Michael had thought Daniel trusted him enough to mention.

“Would you replace us?”

Daniel looked at him, a confused crease between his eyebrows. “What?”

“You’re the one with the pros and cons lists, man.” Michael raised his eyebrows. “So what’s the verdict? You want to replace us?”

Katie twisted in her seat slightly, looking at Daniel expectantly, and in Michael’s peripheral vision he could see Soren glancing in the rearview mirror every few seconds to look at Daniel too. Even with the dim light from the passing street lamps, Michael could see the color rising to Daniel’s face.

“Of course I don’t,” he said quietly, looking at each of them in turn. “I dunno, I just- I just-”

“You’re completely in love with us Daniel, we know,” Michael interjected into Daniel’s stuck sputtering with a little grin. He expected an eye roll or a scoff in return, maybe an exasperated sigh.

What he got was Daniel’s blush getting intensely deeper, and his face shifting into a deer-in-the-headlights, frozen panic.

Oh. Oh.

“Stop freaking out,” Michael immediately ordered him, reaching into the back seat to grip Daniel’s knee tightly. “We fucking love you too, you idiot.”

There was a deafening silence in the car, but Michael refused to be embarrassed about it. How fucking long had they been dancing around this?

Daniel’s lips were parted in surprise, and Michael couldn’t be completely sure, but he could swear he saw Daniel’s eyes tearing up behind his glasses.

Michael shifted his gaze from Daniel to Katie, who looked equal parts emotional and terrified, then to Soren, who was staring determinately at the road, but his knuckles were white on the steering wheel.

“Come on, guys,” Michael finally sighed. “Can we please stop pretending that isn’t the truth? When was the last time any of you were in a relationship besides this one?”

There was an almost guilty silence in the car. Suddenly Katie gave a tense little laugh, shaking her head.

“I thought it was just me,” she confessed in a soft rush. “I mean...”

She gestured vaguely to the four of them. “This is kind of crazy, isn’t it? Most people don’t get to date three partners at the same time.”

“Most people don’t have foursomes every weekend for three years.” Michael raised his eyebrows. “Nothing about this has ever been anything but crazy. Doesn’t make it less real.”

Daniel made a strangled kind of sound, and he was definitely making an effort to hold back tears, the big, emotional dork. Michael squeezed his knee and shot him another smirk. “Dude, you are such a rom-com. Just mush, all the way through.”

Daniel gave a watery laugh, and it was like all the tension in him broke down, causing him to slump back in the seat.

“You were the one with the big love confession,” he replied, his voice a little raspy. “Doesn’t get more rom-com than that.”

“Well someone had to,” Michael sighed. “I was getting sick of dancing around it, it’s been too damn long already.”

“How long do you think we’ve been dancing around it?”

It was the first time Soren had spoken since reassuring Daniel that they wouldn’t replace him, and the other three looked at him.

“Since we started,” Michael said honestly, watching Soren’s sharp profile. “I knew by the second time we fucked.”

The car crawled to a stop at a red light, and Soren finally looked at him, his eyebrows drawn together.

“You did?”

“Yeah.” Michael shrugged one shoulder, glancing around at them all. “Apparently I’m the only one who was smart enough to pick up on it.”

Katie laughed first, in a startled kind of way, but there was nothing mean spirited in it. Then Daniel and finally Soren, their amusement breaking the tension in the car and they suddenly felt like them again.

Michael smiled, looking at each of them in turn as Soren eased back onto the gas as the light changed.

“And you guys say I’m the dumb one,” Michael tsked, shaking his head, and Katie leaned up from the back seat to kiss him.

“Shut up, Michael.”

“Love you too, Kay.”

It felt so nice to say it, and the flustered blush that took over Katie’s cheeks made him smile.

“And I love you.” He looked at Daniel, who turned equally pink. “And I love you.”

Soren didn’t turn pink, but he silently reached over to wrap his hand around Michael’s knee, his fingers giving a tight squeeze.

A few moments later, and they pulled up to Soren’s apartment.

#cracked after hours #fanfiction #fanfic #ot4 #polyamory #open relationship #longpost #long post

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #478

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up”

If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. Do you find any of your friends’ parents creepy or really mean? No. Do you have things on your mind right now? My weight is very, very much on my mind. I dared to weigh myself yesterday and I'm the heaviest I've ever been. So that's comforting. Are you at all stressed right now? ^^^^^^^ hunny I wanna pull all my hair out What was the last stuffed animal you bought? I don't know. What’s the last new good song that you discovered? "The Devil's Rejects" by Rob Zombie. I've been really into him lately. Felicity, Fiona, or Flavia? (with the “v” pronounced like a “w”–it’s Latin) "Felicity" is beautiful. I love the word in general. Which biblical name do you prefer: Naomi, Esther, Rachel, or Joanna? I love the name Naomi. Do you own a cowboy hat? No. Have you ever unfriended a sibling on social media? No; she unfriended me. Has someone let you down recently? My goddamn self. What are you looking forward to? Mom to get better so we can force ourselves back into the gym. Also Girt's mom to get better so we can see each other. For the weather to actually feel fall-ish. What’s your favorite Lady Gaga song? "Bad Romance." Skeletons or scarecrows? Skelly boiz What type of tree is the most common where you live? Oh, absolutely pine trees. Where did your last kiss take place? My living room. Name of your pet? Venus and Roman. How was your summer? Shitty. I hate summer. Do you miss anyone right now? I really miss Girt. Covid's gotta go. What size is your shirt? *feral hissing noises* Who was the last person you held hands with? Girt. Do you get out of bed on the left side or right side? Left, because I sleep mostly to the left. Do you like to be closer or farther back to the wheel when driving? Neither, I think? I haven't driven in so long that I'm not sure, but I'm quite sure I position myself pretty ideally. When eating dinner, do you eat foods in order or just inhale it? It's usually kind of in order, but occasionally I'll mix it up. When you lose your phone, where is the first general place you look? My bed. Do you fall asleep with your mouth open or closed? Usually closed. I tend to breathe through my nose unless I'm stuffy. What was the last bug you killed? An ant. Do you keep items in your front or back pants’ pocket? Front. What was the last item or location you cleaned? My glasses. Do you own a pet spider? No, but I REALLY want a number of tarantulas. :( The more time that passes, the more I want some, ha ha. I'd also love a jumping spider or two, but Mom won't allow even that. Have you ever gone on a cruise? No. Is there a rocking chair in your house? No. Have you ever been stood up? No. Do you like elevators or escalators? I'm scared of both. I'm afraid of getting stuck in an elevator, or falling down an escalator/tripping on one. Which do you prefer: M&M’s, Skittles, or Reese’s Pieces? Reese's Pieces, yum. If you could be the sidekick of a superhero which superhero would you pick? Uhhhh maybe Spider-Man, if I could web-sling too? lol Where on your body would you never get a tattoo? ... Can/do people get genitalia tattoos? Because I would fuckin never- Do you think that you could ever win a food eating contest? Hell no. I would puke. Honestly, have you ever thrown garbage out of the window of a car? Absolutely not. Never. What is the first song that comes to mind when I say: Michael Jackson? "Billie Jean." Which would you find more menacing: dinosaurs or dragons? Dragons are just dinos that can fly and breathe fire, so... you tell me which is more dangerous. I'd still try to befriend one tho lmao. Can you say “hello” in another language? Yeah; German is easy. It's just "hallo." Do you like licorice? NO omg Did anybody ever read bedtime stories to you when you were younger? Mom did. Do you have a favorite Johnny Depp movie? What is it? I really like his roles in Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Were you ever force-fed as a child? My parents tried to enforce always finishing our plates. My mom is very against that now, considering the issues it can cause. Should kidneys or other organs be able to be bought and sold? No????? That's some black market bullshit for a reason. What is one of your most important rules when going on a date? Especially if it's your first date with a person, watch for red flags. Will children today have better or worse lives than their parents, and why? Well, it'll probably go in both ways depending on the topic. The environment is dying, the economy is horrific, but I'm sure there will be things like medical advancements. What's the most ironic thing you've seen happen? I dunno. Would you rather go ice skating or roller skating? Roller skating. The blades on ice skates scare me. How many different types of guns have you shot? (water, Nerf, real, etc) Uhhh just water and Nerf, I think? Which of the three meals a day are you most likely to skip? It's very unlikely you'll see me miss a meal... I don't handle the feeling of hunger well. What's something lots of people are afraid of, but you aren't? Snakes, some spiders, I don't THINK I'm scared of deep water, the dark... Do you know anyone who is tolerant of some on the LGBT spectrum but not all? Yes. Do open casket wakes freak you out? I've only been to one, as a child, when I didn't have a full grasp on death, so it was... oddly more fascinating to me, as weird as that sounds? I think going to one now, especially if it was someone close to me, it would make the wake more upsetting. When's the last time you slept in your parents' bed? No clue. What's something that will always be in fashion? Skinny jeans, checkered Vans... What "old person things" do you do? I regularly say "back in the day," lol. And I can go to sleep very early, like 7, but that's uncommon. I complain about soreness in my back and stuff. Do you live in the same hometown as where you were born? No. Did you dorm at college or commute from home? I commuted from home. Do you prefer the thin blue and white masks, or decorative ones? Well, who wouldn't prefer decorative ones? They're more personal to your interests and stuff and I feel is more encouraging to make people wear them. I however don't want to spend money on a mask, so I'm chill with just the blue surgical ones. Have you ever witnessed someone have a seizure before? My dog, yes. Have you ever rode on the back of a shopping cart, or a Home Depot dolly? Yeah, as a kid. Does everything you buy have to be organic? No. I don't buy the groceries, but I also don't care much about that. Do you support more small businesses or chain restaurants/stores? Habitually, chain ones. I wish I paid more attention to small businesses. Have you ever been crowned king or queen at a school dance? No. How old were you when you first started wearing a bra? Am I supposed to remember that? Are you more invested in computer games or video games? I don't care what the game is on; I can be equally invested in either. I prefer to play console games, though. Are you a fan of pumpkin spice everything? Noooo. I'm not a massive fan of it, actually. Is there any holiday that you don't decorate your house for? We only really decorate for occasionally Halloween and always Christmas. Mom may put up some Thanksgiving stuff. Tell me something your parents don't know about. They don't know certain places I've done sexual things at/on. What's the last table food you fed your pet? Roman doesn't get human food. He learned at a young age that's a no-no. Have you ever peed in the water at the beach? Ew, no. Even if it's incredibly vast, people still swim in that. Have you ever scored a winning goal for a team you played for? I doubt it. Have you ever participated in LARPing? No. Have you ever gotten a divorce? Never been married. Do you prefer "regular kissing" or French kissing? I mean that depends on the place and the mood. Are you more likely to give a hickey to someone else or get one? I haven't done that in many years, and when it happened, I don't think one of us did it more than the other. Do you like sprinkles on your ice cream? I HATE sprinkles. Have you been in more car accidents as a passenger or a driver? I've only ever been in an accident as a passenger. Have you ever been wrongfully convicted of a crime? No. Was any of the cafeteria food at your school actually any good? I actually didn't mind a good number of things. Have you ever wanted to become a lifeguard? No. What's the highest fever you've ever had? I'm unsure, but over 100. Have you ever kissed a dog on the mouth? Well, dogs have kissed ME on the mouth. al;sdkfjalksdjkf so gross When you were born was the umbilical cord wrapped around your neck? Uh, I don't believe so. I feel like I would know that if I was. Would you enter a burning building to save a kitten? I feel like I would, I think. My intense love of animals would probably force me to kick into action. Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John? Haaaa, I have a bias for "Mark," of course... but if we're talking which name I find most appealing, it's probably John. Or Luke. Have you ever been told that you talk too much? As a child, yes. Do you like to clean? Does ANYBODY enjoy it? Do you know of anyone who went into labor at the baby shower? Uh yikes. No. When's the last time you did a hand game with someone? (ie: Mary Mack) Probably not since I was little. Do you know anyone who was not born in a hospital, unexpectedly? No. Does anyone you know have dual citizenship to live in multiple countries? Possibly? Do you still have a landline phone/phone number? No. Name a fad that was popular when you were growing up, that you miss. Oh, I KNOW there's some things, but I don't recall right now. Have you ever gotten to milk a cow or a goat? No. I'm not sure I'd want to.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''bottom is a rock'' by mother mother

[whydontwe-fanfics]

Bad Reputation (J.A)

Description: Everybody is against Jack dating you because of your past.

Song: Bad Reputation by Shawn Mendes

Warnings: angst, swearing, mentions of physical abuse

A/N: this is set in an A/U universe where all of the boys went to the same high school and all grew up in the same hometown in L.A, but beside that everything else is the same

Word Count: 2.6k

---

" She got a bad reputation She takes the long way home "

"Where have you been?" Corbyn asked as Jack subtly walked into their shared house. Jack glanced up and took notice of all of the boys staring at him, arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"What is this? An intervention?" Jack scoffed, locking the door and shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You could say that," Jonah huffed. Jack rolled his eyes and took a few more steps into the house.

"If this is who I think it's about-"

"You're damn right it is," Corbyn scoffed. Jack clenched his jaw and began to head upstairs.

"This isn't a fucking joke, Jack. Were you with her or not tonight?" Daniel asks. Jack flares his nostrils, not replying.

"Just answer the question, dude," Corbyn groaned.

"Yes, I was. And I couldn't give two fucks about what you guys have to say about it," Jack argued.

"What were you doing with her?" Jonah inquired.

"I really don't see how that's any of your business..." Jack gritted his teeth as they all stared at him with accusing looks. "We hung out and then we walked here."

"You smell like liquor," Corbyn registered.

"We only shared a bottle," Jack narrowed his eyes.

"Only shared a-" Jonah scoffed.

"I still have no clue what you guys have against her. She hasn't done anything to you guys. Get off my back."

"She's been a bad influence on you since high school."

"Don't talk about her like that," Jack grows tense.

"She slept with the entire baseball-" Corbyn began.

"And football," Daniel added.

"And football teams," Corbyn concludes.

"You don't know shit. You only heard the rumors," Jack angrily defended you.

" And all of my friends seen her naked Or so the story goes "

"We know enough," Zach claims.

"You don't know anything. You all think you do," Jack spat. "You're supposed to be my best friends. Leave my girl alone and fuck off." With that, he turned and marched out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

" Mistakes we all make them But they won't let it go, no "

Jack marched down the pathway and started heading towards your house, knowing that it'd be at least a twenty-minute walk from where he stood. He took out his phone and went straight to his contacts, pressing on your name and holding the phone up to his ear.

You answered on the second ring.

"Hey, babe," you said, your voice lifting a smile onto Jack's face.

"Hey," he greeted. "I'm headed to your place. That okay?"

"Yeah, just come through the back. You know the drill," you tell him.

"Okay, I'll be there in a bit."

"Alright, see you then," you hum before hanging up. Jack looks down at his phone which displays a 'call ended' screen.

" Cause she's got a bad reputation But I know what they don't "

"I-," Jack cut himself off, exhaling out his nose and shoving the phone into his pockets.

Jack found himself at your house not too long afterward. He headed to your gate and used one of the trash cans to hoist himself up over the fence. When he landed on the other side, he dusted his knees off and then made his way to the back of the house. He ducked down to avoid being seen through the windows and went to the bush the ladder he'd used at least a hundred times by now was hidden in. He made sure to be quiet unfolding the ladder and setting it up against your open window.

He climbed up the metal steps and before he could climb into the room, your lips took him by surprise.

You giggled as you pulled away, a lazy smile on Jack's face.

"Hi, baby," you gave him a cheeky grin, leaning in and pecking his lips once more. He then climbed in, landing on your floor gently. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he nodded, wrapping his arms around your waist. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You sounded pissed off over the phone," you brushed some hair out of his face.

"I did?"

"Mhm."

"Sorry," he apologizes.

"Why are you sorry? Who pissed you off?"

Jack puckered his lips inwards. "It's a long story."

"I got time," you hum, pulling him by the wrist and sitting him on your bed before sitting yourself right beside him. A sigh leaves your lips as you play with both his and your fingers. "Is it the guys?"

"Unfortunately."

"Was it about me again?"

Jack's eyes solemnly gaze into yours, answering your question.

"I don't want you getting into a fight with your best friends over me," you shake your head. "You guys shouldn't be arguing every week about something so minuscule."

"You aren't minuscule," Jack frowns. "Don't talk about yourself like that. I just spent ten minutes defending you to them."

" And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through "

You bite the inside of your cheek. "Jack..."

"We've come this far, Y/N," he brings a hand up to caress your cheek.

You and Jack have been friends for four years. You had met freshman year of high school when you were crying in the bathroom stall. Fortunately, that was the day Jack had accidentally stumbled into the girl's restroom.

---

October 16, 2013

"Hey... Are you okay?" Jack asked, taking wary steps towards you.

"Leave me alone," you whimpered, your voice muffled by your arm you held over your mouth.

Jack pushes his mouth to the side, pushing his falling glasses higher onto his nose.

"You're crying. Do you want me to get a teacher?" Jack asked.

"No!" your head shot upwards, a gasp leaving Jack's mouth when he noticed the red mark on your left cheek.

"What happened-"

"Please, just don't come near me. And don't get a teacher," you pleaded. "What are you doing in the girl's bathroom?"

"I thought it was the guy's bathroom," Jack defended himself. He bit his bottom lip before shrugging his bag off of his shoulder and digging into the front pocket. He pulls out a small package of tissues and walks over to you, handing it to you.

" Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you "

"What's this for?" you sniff, blinking rapidly, trying to keep more tears from coming.

"To-uh-wipe the tears away. That's much softer than the bathroom's paper towels, so it shouldn't hurt that," he gestures to the mark on your face.

You glance from him to the tissues before wiping your nose and pushing your hair behind your ear.

"Thank you."

---

May 19, 2014

"How come you never let me walk you home?" Jack asks as the two of you walk out of the exit doors of your high school.

"Why do you peel oranges with a fork?" You raise a single eyebrow.

"Nice try," he narrows his eyes at you, growing more curious after you tried to divert the subject. "Seriously. Why can't I walk you home?"

" She got a bad reputation Nobody gets too close "

"My mom and step-dad would freak if they saw a boy walk me home," you partially lie, and he realizes this by detecting the quiver in your voice. But he wouldn't let you know that. You have secrets and he respected that, though a part of him wished you'd tell him sooner.

"If your parents are so strict, how are you gonna go on that date with Michael tomorrow night?" Jack asked.

"I'm sneaking out," you shrug.

"Won't you get in more trouble if you're caught?"

"That's why I won't get caught," you simply roll your shoulders. You stop walking, causing Jack to do so as well.

"What?"

"Heads-side up," you mutter, looking down at the penny on the ground.

Something Jack had learned about you in the past year was that you were ridiculously superstitious.

When you bent down to pick up the 'lucky penny', the back of your shirt had hitched up. Jack wouldn't have paid it much attention if a black and blue bruise that marked your skin. This was the fourth time he's seen a bruise on your body. He knew not to ask because every other time he did, you'd brush it off with excuses he didn't believe.

---

May 21st, 2014

You went on a date.

Jack didn't know why the fact bothered him. You had had three boyfriends in the year he's grown to know you. But that specific date made him uncomfortable.

" A sight of a soul when it's breaking Making my heart grow cold "

It was a Wednesday night when you had showed up at Jack's house for the first time ever.

"Jack, sweetie," his mother called as she opened his door. "Y/N says she's here for you."

"Y/N," Jack stood from his desk chair. His mom gave you a small smile and let you into his room before disappearing down the hallway. "What are you doing here?"

You didn't say anything, the fake smile you tried so hard to keep on your face breaking, tears rushing down your face that instantly turned red.

Jack's eyes widened as he jumped up and to your side, his arms wrapping around you.

"What happened?" he brought you to his bed, where the two of you sat, your small cries quieted by his shoulder.

"M-Michael. We were on that stupid date when he spilled water on me - which the fuckwad did on purpose. He brought me back to his house and said I could change into one of his shirts. I went into his bathroom and changed and then after that, he tried to kiss me, but I didn't want to. So he kicked me out and I had to walk home," you sobbed.

" And into the deeper she's sinking I'm begging her please don't let go "

"That dick didn't deserve you anyway," Jack scoffed.

"It's not even that that I'm so disgusted about. That sick bastard took pictures of me while I was changing and sent it to the whole school," you cried. Jack gasped, looking down at you.

"Y/N, this is something we have to tell adults," he said.

"I tried! I t-told my mom and..." you didn't want to finish it, shaking your head with a roll of the eyes.

"She what? What'd she do?"

"She called me a slut and said it was my fault," you whispered, a sob leaving your throat.

Jack was confused. How could someone say that to their own daughter?

"Not only does she think that, but so does the entire fucking school. You weren't there today when guys cornered me during lunch, touching me and asking if my breasts are real," you spat out, not towards Jack but viciously towards those creeps. "And those bitches calling me a whore in class, talking behind my back as if I can't hear them."

"Y/N-"

"I just don't know what to do, Jack. I have shitty parents who couldn't give less of a crap about me, all the boys are trying to touch me like I belong to them and all of those girls sneer at me whenever I'm in a room with them." You sniffed and bawled your eyes out.

Jack looked at you, bewildered. This is the hardest he's ever seen you cry and this is the angriest he's ever been. He just didn't know what to say or do in this case to help you. His cursing at Michael would do no good.

"Hey, hey," Jack whispered, grasping your chin in between his forefinger and thumb and gently pulling your face upwards so he could look you into your glossy red eyes. "Don't let that dipshit get the best of you. He's a horny son of a bitch and deserves to go to jail for releasing those pictures of a minor. What we're going to do is report that sorry ass and then we're also gonna report those guys for touching you. After that, every time one of those girls says anything to or about you, you'll ignore them because you're the more mature person."

You kept quiet, furrowing your eyebrows and pursing your lips.

"But I don't want to be the mature person," you suddenly say, surprising Jack. "I'm going to make those mother-fuckers sorry."

" She's got a bad reputation But she's all that... all I want, though "  

---

February 25th, 2015

"Y/N Y/L/N, please report to the main office. Y/N Y/L/N, please report to the main office," Ms.Danny from the front office's voice rang over the intercom.

A smug smile found its way onto your face as you bite the end of your pen, cocking your head to the side cockily.

"What did you do now?" Jack groaned from beside you. You only sent him a wink, an action that caused his insides to flip.

"I'll tell you later. Just know I'll be suspended for at least a week or two," you click your teeth, standing up from your desk and slinging your backpack onto your shoulder before sauntering out of the door, but not before saluting the teacher.

There was this side of you, the side Jack grew accustomed to.

"Jack," your sob was heard from the phone and into Jack's ear. "Jack, it's bad."

"Y/N," Jack panicked. "What's wrong? Where are you?"

The sound of banging and screams could be heard in the background of the call, frightening him even more than your cries.

"I'm at my house. I need you to call the police! Please, Jack, I-" your voice was cut off by the loud sound of a door being kicked down. Only screaming and shouting could be heard after that, Jack's heart pumping an extra speed by the second.

"Y/N!" he shouted into the phone, growing frustrated when you didn't respond. He then quickly hung up and ran out of his house, jogging to yours with 911 dialed into his phone.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Though the police might have been too late, Jack arrived just in time.

He ran in through the door of your home, a house he's never stepped in before. He made his way towards the screaming, breathing heavily by the time he's made it up the stairs to and to the all of the commotion and chaos. He nearly paused when he saw you in the corner of your room, crying and being held against the wall by some man with a full head of black hair and a beard.

Everything after that was a blur.

The next thing Jack knows, you and he are sitting in the back of an ambulance, a paramedic checking the marks on your neck and face.

That day, Jack had put all the pieces together.

The reason you were crying the day the two of you have met was because of your stepfather. All of the bruises and marks you've worn on your body in the past few years were all because of the drunk bastard who came home and beat on you and your drug addict of a mother.

This was the side of you that. Jack had never been revealed to before.

---

"Jack, you know everything about me. You've been a part of my life during both the best and worst times. Neither of us needs to prove to your friends' anything about me. If they chose to believe that I'm a cold-hearted bitch who's done nothing but corrupt you, then let them."

" And I don't care what they say about you baby They don't know what you've been through "

"I just don't see you as anything but amazing," Jack runs circles on your cheek with his thumb. "You were my first official kiss, my first official girl best friend, my first official love-"

Both you and he paused at the accidental word that slipped from his lips.

"I-uh," Jack stuttered.

"I really hope you meant that," you shyly smiled, causing one to bloom on his face as well.

" And trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady "

Without speaking, he leaned in and attached his lips to yours. "I love you," he mumbled, pulling away from you and leaning his forehead on yours.

"I love you, too," you giggle wholeheartedly.

"God, do I love the sound of that."

" Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you "

---

chance of me making a part two? high.

---

Masterlist | Request Here

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[save-the-cronch]

First Kiss

Hey guys! I finally have another thing out for you guys! I hope you guys enjoy this.

Word Count: 1689

Sitting alone in my room on a Friday night is not an unusual occurrence. Although, recently I’ve been hanging out with Connor Murphy. We became friends shortly after he took my letter and tried to kill himself.

His whole family instantly thought that we were friends because he still had my letter, and I didn’t know how today no. So I told Connor what happened when his parents took me to see him, and for some reason Connor actually agreed to keep the secret. Once he actually got out of the hospital, we did begin to hangout, and soon we became very good friends. I’ve been to his house many times, and him to mine.

Then, last month, I realized I had a huge ass crush on him. I use to have a crush on his sister, but somehow, that crush switched to him. We were sitting in this Orchard that he showed me, and we were laughing about some joke he said. I just looked over at him, and I realized that I’d do anything to make him happy. I instantly freaked out. I had always know I was bisexual, in middle school I had a crush on this kid named Michael Mell, but I never thought I’d like my best friend. I also don’t know if he’s interested in guys! God I’m such a fucking mess.

I grab my laptop, hoping that some youtube video’s could calm me down. However, as soon as I click on a Bob Ross montage, I hear banging on my window.

I jump, falling off of my bed at the sudden noise. I slowly stand up, shutting my laptop. Then, I glance at the window, and I see a dark, long hair, tall, silhouette of a person. I walk to my window, unlatching the latches and throwing it open.

“Connor, what the hell are you doing here? It’s eleven at night!” I nearly shout at him. I don’t have to worry about my mom hearing because she’s at work, and won’t be home until late. She always does the night shift on Fridays.

Connor jumps through the window, and stands up to look at me.

“I had a fight with my dad. He was extremely pisses, and I thought it would be best if I left. So, because you’re my only friend I decided to come here. Also, sorry for coming through the window, I wasn’t sure if your mom was here, and I didn’t want to make three adults upset tonight.”

“Connor, what was this fight about. I-I mean, i-if you f-feel comfortable wi-with telling me. Youdonthavetotellmeifyoudontwanttoimsorryiasked!”

“Ev, slow down, and breathe.” Connor puts a hand on my back, and leads me to my bed. “And, it’s fine. I, uh, don’t hate me for this.”

I shake my head. “I won’t.” How could I ever hate him?

“Alright, well, I came out to my parents. I told them that I was gay,”  Connor says, looking away from me. He seems embarrassed. Does he really think I’d laugh at him for this? Oh God, I’d never. I’d never laugh at him.

“You-you’re gay? Seriously?” I asked. Shocked. I really had no clue, but I am very excited.

“Uh, yeah. Look, if it’s a problem I can just-“

“Nononono, it’s not a problem at all!” I rush out, jumping from my spot on my bed, waving my hands in his face. “In fact, I just s-so happen to be bisexual.”

“Seriously? I, wow. That’s, wow, um, how’d you find out?” He seems to be extremely happy. But it’s probably because he now knows that I won’t laugh at him. God I wish it was because he liked me back.

“Oh, well, in middle school I had a crush on Michael Mell, but you know, I use to have a crush on Zoe and-“

“Wait, use to? You don’t anymore?” Connor’s eyes seem to brighten even more.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t. Um, ho-how’d you know?”

“Well, I always have? When I was like, ten, or something, I was at my cousin’s house and he’s about four years older than me. When I was younger I totally idolized him, and I never left him alone. Anyways, he’s also hella gay, the only difference is that his parents are chill with it. So, when my family arrived at their house for Christmas, he took me to his room. He said that he had to show me something. I think he was trying to scare me away, because what fourteen year old wants to hangout with a ten year old. And, when we got to his room, he pulled out this box of magazines, and they were filled with men and well, I didn’t think it was weird? My cousin from then on thought I was ‘cool’ enough and chilled with me and taught me all I need to know.”

“So, you found out cause your cousin was trying to scare you with gay porn?” I ask, laughing a bit.

“Yup, and it totally backfired.” Connor laughs with me.

We just sit there, laughing for a good five minutes. I’ve always loved these moments. Sure, I’m way to scared to tell Connor how I feel. However, being with Connor, makes me so happy, and seeing him happy makes me even happier. Oh God, I feel like some teenage girl from a sappy romantic comedy.

“Hey, Evan, if you don’t like my sister, is there anyone else you have in mind?”

Oh God, I can’t lie to him, but I can’t say I like him! “Oh, uh, yeah, there’s this guy I have in mind.”

Connor’s face seems to fall, but the disappointed look from his face is quickly wiped, and replaced by fake excitement. That has to mean something, right?

“What’s he like. Tell me about him”

I pause for a second. The only reason he’s acting like this is because he likes me, I hope, so let’s test it.

“Well, his eyes are beautiful, they are this amazing blue color, like the sky. But they have this small speck of brown in his left one.” I glance at Connor, and I notice that he’s now looking away from me. He seems a little upset. He defiantly doesn’t realize I’m talking about him. God he’s oblivious.

“Oh, that sounds, um great.”

“And his hair looks really soft and I always want to run my fingers through it. It’s a really pretty brown that matches the brown in his left eye.”

“Mm”

“And, he’s taller than me, which is a plus.” I have no idea where this burst of confidence has come from, but I like it. It’s really helping me.

“I prefer shorter guys.”

“And, it’s kind of funny. I use to like his sister, but ever since we’ve become friends, I started to like her less and him a lot more. And whenever we talk, I always feel so happy. I love helping him. I also love that he feels like he can come to me for anything, especially tonight. I really appreciate that you came to me tonight.”

Connor’s head snaps back at me, his eyes wide, and hopeful, and excited. “Wh-what?”

I grab the collar of his shirt, and pull him forwards, still grateful for this confidence surge. Our lips touch, and he doesn’t pull away. It feels good to actually get the fact that he likes me back right.

Kissing Connor is better than I ever thought it would be. His lips are slightly chapped, and it’s very obvious that he smoked a but of weed while heading over to my house. Connor moves his hands, which were previously in his lap, and puts one on my cheek and the other on my waist. I loose my grip on his jacket, and move my hands to his hair, finally getting to run my fingers through his waterfall of hair.

We sit there, on my bed, kissing for about three minutes before we both pull away, gasping for breath.

“God, I thought I’d never be able to do that with you,” Connor says softly, his breath tickling my face.

“Well, if you say the right things at the right times, you may just be able to do that whenever you want.” I laugh.

“I feel like you telling me to ask you out, is that the right feeling or no?”

“God, Connor, of course that’s what I’m getting at.”

“Well, in that case, there’s this light show in Evanston on Sunday night, and I just so happen have two tickets to it. You wanna go to it?”

“Is it near trees?”

“On the edge of a forest.”

“Hell yes I wanna go!”

Connor laughs, pulling me closer to him. He then leans down and kisses me once, twice, three times.

“Come on, it’s getting late, let’s get to bed.”

“Am I allowed to stay in your bed and cuddle you instead of getting a blowup mattress for the flow this time?”

“Of course, I’m not letting my boyfriend sleep on a lumpy air mattress.”

“Good, I’ve always wanted to snuggle up against you, that sounds creepy.”

“Eh, I  understand what you meant.”

Connor chuckles, as he gets up to get us both some PJ pants. He’s kept a few pairs of pants here ever since his dad got pissed at him for missing curfew. His dad thought he was out getting high. He was really calming me down after a panic attack, I felt terrible, so I had him stay at my house.

Connor throws me a pair of plaid pants, and I quickly change into them. Both of us sleep shirtless, and I’m now positive that I’m not the only one that stared at the other during our past sleep overs. Connor crawls into my bed, and pulls me into his chest.

“Good night Evan.” He softly kisses the back go my head, nestling his face into my neck.

I grin, “Good night Connor.”

I close my eyes, and fall asleep, a smile on my face. I’m shocked I was able to tell Connor how I felt, but I’m extremely glad I did.

#tree bros #connor x evan #Connor Murphy #evan x connor #dear evan hansen #evan hansen #DEH #zoe murphy #heidi hansen #cynthia murphy #larry murphy #fics #one shot #first kiss #malexmale

[celestialallstars]

Episode #2: “also I’m lying about being vegan” - Bryce

So the vote off was okay. I was slightly worried it was going to be Alyssa.

For the challenge I sat out. I hate sitting out. It makes me feel nervous because I can know if they are trying their hardest or not. I hope we can win because i dont want to go to tribal. The good thing is that I think I may be social good in my tribe.

I've done more reflecting and like I think I need to just count on a good swap. While I do enjoy this tribe I have to be prepared for worst case scenario. I do think perhap I jumped the gun a little with the alliance stuff on my tribe though I at least trust a few people around here. Kori and Bryce are cool yet it is interesting seeing perspectives from Stephen and Jared, the latter of which has admitted to feeling weary about the other. Still I find that Cyrena is my blindspot. I talk to Rhys, Alyssa, Mo, and Jack here and there but I am thinking about trying to get deeper connections. Hmm we will see!!

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I'm just running Loris' chance of finding an idol lol so far despite talking up a storm we have succeeded in having the same idol hunts lol communication is our strong suit.

I really hope we win, if we lose and I did the worst... I’m gonna be devastated... I’m hopeful we can pull through. Also real quick my dumbass took the time to write chrysanthemum for a flower category.

KARTHIK GOT BOOTED I REPEAT KOMNATA TOOK A HIT AND HE DRAGGED ANNA!! SHES A KRADHAKA!! (if thats a slur im so sorry i do not know NNNN). anyway. category is IS my comp but I SURELY FLOPPED!! BYEE!! i got 58 last season i got 99 like bokay lol

anyway this isnt my actual confession for the round but WHEN ALYSSA CALLED ME AND TOLD ME TO NOT TRYHARD COMPS IT REALLY HIT DIFFERENTLY HUH!! IVE BEEN FLOPPING

also i feel like my tribe hates me oh well they can eat my pussy n call me the winner :p

Im so nervous. I dont want to go to tribal. Im really scared. Kinda.

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This really sucks. Dont think i would have helped. It just sucks we have to vote someone off now. Im kinda nervous.

SO! My alliance searching has gotten off to a very strange start. I started by approaching Jared, someone who I've spent a lot of time talking to and seems like he'd be very useful to my game in the long run. I wanted to make a 4-person alliance with him, Mitch, and Kori. He didn't want to pull Kori in though, because he's apparently close with Bryce. So, whatever, I'm not gonna complain, three person alliance is still decent.

Almost immediately after I finish settling that deal, KORI comes to me saying he'd like to make an alliance. The initial idea he proposes is with Me/Him/Bryce/Rhys/Mitch. This is fine too! Being a part of more than 1 alliance sounds like it could be a good time assuming we don't go to too many tribal councils. SO I said yes.

Of course, I wanted to avoid this whole situation blowing up, so I go to talk to Mitch about it so he knows what's up and hopefully keep him from thinking I'm a two-timing mfer. He's okay with the idea but wants to stay loyal to our alliance with Jared. Fine. Totally fine. A little dicey if we have to vote more than 1 person out, but it should keep people from talking about getting rid of me for the time being.

This is where shit gets BAD.

Kori talks to Rhys and Bryce about this group, and apparently RHYS told him he'd prefer to have Jared instead of Mitch. What the FUCK RHYS? I ALREADY TOLD MITCH! LMFAO

Jared wants to tell Mitch about it, which is uh... fine. BECAUSE HE ALREADY KNOWS BECAUSE OF ME AHHHHHHHHHHH!

If Maynor is voted out everyone on the tribe is gonna know about this alliance I'm shook. I wanna get Rhys out a little bit now. He has enough sway over Kori to get him to change his mind on this hours later. But how the FUCK am I gonna pull that off if there's only 6 of us? Whatever, that's down the road. Hopefully we'll win the immunity challenge and not have to worry about this.

SO I’m really freaking out about how bad I did on the tribal what the fuck! But whatever I can work my way out of this, I think I’ve connected well socially to the other tribe members and they’ve all done so well maybe I’ll be carried thorough but I’m incredibly worried GAH

So I've got my alliance of 5 together, and timing could not have been better because we unfortunately lost the challenge... which sucks this'll be my first premerge tribal in Celestial history.

I'm praying that I've got the baseline connections that I needed to get a Maynor Boot out of this tribal since the idea of a winnergeddon is pretty depressing.

I've got the vote reveal that I found too which is pretty cool but also fundamentally not something I know how to use in any productive manner to help my game. Just a fun thing I can do during the season provided I make it to merge to make it do the most it can.

I'm honestly pretty nervous, I've been trying to be lowerkey in the way things have gone down. I'm hoping that I've at least made the social connections and contributed enough to the tribe that they want to keep me, and nothing meta like Kori's a winner is gonna kill me immediately.

IM SO SAD UGHHh like not to be ott but i hate my tribe so much KJHFASDKJFHA  like how come they cant do good at any challenge its literally just naming some categories u could use google how do u not do much just GOOGLE KJAFHSDJ like AND ITS SO ANNOYING i dont wanna be 2nd boot thats so ugly and its like ppl dont give me a chance. mitch literally just doesnt respond to me like how do i play around that and yet he cant even go this round bc stephen loves him and so does jared like idk how hes just so frustrating i want him OUT. and ppl thrown out maynors name and yaa hes inactive and doesnt talk to me but still i know he doesnt hate me like mitch does and will actually reply to me when i msg him. jared my king but he FLOPPED THIS CHALLENGE JKASDFHKASHDFKJ but i forgive we all have bad days. also im lying about being vegan yaa

Phew! I was far too nervous for this challenge. I was feeling sick and all and had lost all hope but to see we kept immunity by a few points makes me feel good about our chances! Hoping none of the people I talk to on Tuatha go but I have to prepare for one of them to go sadly.

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Honestly I kinda hope it is Maynor who goes only because I talk to him the least. It sucks but I have to try and keep as connected as possible. Kori and Bryce are givens but Steph and Jared are like priority! Rhys and Mitch I am gucci with a little bit so it leaves Maynor...we'll see though!

WE’RE SAFE BEEEEEEEEECH IM SO HAPPY.

I would of been fine with coming in second but when I saw we came in first I got so excited. We were rewarded with a bunch of animals and I picked the alpacas in which I got nothing, but oh well. I hope I can manage to stay safe from now on.

Okay, day 6. Not sure what I said in my last confessional. So sorry for repeats?

So, me and Bryce are potatoes and love each other and cemented the Supddies duo. So right now he is my closest ally. Since this challenge started I've been worried about loosing, so I've been trying to a grasp on this tribe. So far, it *seems* everyone is good with me. However would they tell me otherwise, probably not.

So I want to push an alliance to keep me and Bryce safe. So I approach Jared and say we should make one and he agreed , but we didn't quite make one. Anyway fast forward like 2 hours, Kori approaches me saying he wants an alliance between Bryce, Mitch, Stephen, Himself and myself. I say sure whatever, cause this is survivors and I'm not turning nothing down. I express concern for Mitch though as he leaves both me & Bryce on read alot?! So he changes him out with Jarred. Which is awesome.

So currently, we are going to tribal. I'm in an alliance of 5, and within that 5 I feel like I'm in a unofficial 3 of me Bryce and Jarred. So that leaves Maynor and Mitch up for tribal. Some reason people like Mitch? guess hes not leaving them on read huh. So people want Maynor out. I'd prefer Mitch, but there isn't any point in pushing a vote this round as Im still in a strong place.

so here is my customary "must have a conf in before the round is over" conf. idk not a lot has seemed to have happened since my last one. Karthik left which was obvious and then it made sense why bodhi was being shady cause he couldn't fucking vote LOL. ugh the memories <3. and it wasn't even MY vote from marmoreal it was justin's from wakea LOL.

jack, alyssa and i are a tight 3 it seems like. we are sharing idol clues and just generally having a merry old time. Mo and I are also getting along really well, we are definitely vibing and i don't want him to go any time soon. Tobi i already new previously so there is a relationship there already, but i'm trying to overcome that and i want to start talking game with him soon. Bodhi, to me, is still a bit of an enigma. I still don't really know him that well, which is weird cause we've talked a bit. idk, when he do speak there isn't a lot of substance and its just slightly off putting. i also know him and alyssa have spoken a bit cause he told her about the doors on the middle branch so im watching on that.

the rest of the cast i seem to be getting along well with. I'm definitely putting less time into talking to them because previous org experiences tell me that tribe first, then OW. Rhys, Chloe and Michael i all love. Zach and bryce too, but i know there is a friend group in them and tobi so i would like one of them gone before a merge situation for sure. I find kori kinda annoying, you can definitely tell he's doing the rounds talking to everyone. Chris and Mitch i still don't really know either.

Idk maybe i'm not taking this as seriously as i should but like as i said coming into this, i've already proved myself in S4, so i don't need to go mad this game trying to prove myself. i'm taking a more laid back approach, which might come to bite me in the ass so who knows what it will do to me looking ahead.

So I have a plan to possibly use Chloe's not wanting an alliance to my advantage should we swap with majority...essentially I sell to people how I wanted to work with other people and start an alliance with, say, Zach and Loris. Though when Chloe was asked, she rejected it. As a result, this cause a rift to form in that it left mistrusts and sides to form and then Wallace, no united tribe! Only downside is this being one world so somebody can go to Chloe and tell her this....what to do what to do

IM SO AHHHH WOOH JARED FINDING IDOL SO HAPPY im so sad tho bc like he wont votemitch so maynors going i just know this is a bad idea but w/e at least having jared have the idol gives me a little more confidence

So in regards to this idol messiness, I've talked with Stephen, Kori, Jared Zach, Loris, and all. While some did make it weird, the last two I've been talking the most as far as info and it has been rad because we talk about things that others tell us. But last night Loris and I told each other where we can go before to avoid us going to the same places again. WELL this morning I told him where I went and found nothing. He told me that he'd go to mid branch and do Mitch because he never played his idol and I'm like ok makes sense. Now he avoided the question when I asked if he had anything but was talking just fine before it so now I'm like oh okay...is this an idol finder? I guess I'll see but if it is then good for him I guess LOL still I have a suspicion but maybe I am overreaching

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I just realized Loris in fact did send a message about his response to the idol so I guess I'm a fool...but it was still missing exactly where he went so I wont let him off that easy!

lol nvm! Chloe said it was too early for an alliance so that flopped. so that scares me bc I feel like chloe has the power to be close with everyone to the point where even if anyone tried to get her out people wouldn’t want to do it... yikes.... I’m slightly excited for a swap? I’ve barely spoken to jack kori and alyssa and me and maynor haven’t messaged each other once NSMDMDMFMFFMFM... but on the other hand I’m close with bodhi , Jared, Bryce and probably other ppl I’m forgetting so I mean the chances of me being utterly fucked aren’t that high...

I dont know if im paranoid or what. But im having a bad feeling. I feel like I may be a target but if people are saying voting for someone who is ‘inactive’. If thats the reason i may be target then its a lie cuz ive been talking to my whole tribe. Im really nervous mostly because dont wanna let the hosts down for picking me to come back.

My sheer power won us immunity and I will not accept any other description. 86 fucking points yall i was NOT going back to tribal again. Alyssa Matt and I are collabbing on an idol search for the bridge but someone is apparently beating us to it? I'm kinda confused but also don't try to worry about idols that much. I feel like I'm in a good spot in this tribe between my trio and Bodhi, but he is admittedly hard to read lately. Mo is very sweet I'd love for him to stick around and Tobi has kinda dipped a little bit. All in all glad i'm immune for once, final 19 baby!!

Rhys has told me that the target is Mitch tonight. Im still kinda scared that itll be me but Jared also confirmed the Mitch vote. Unless they are both playing me hard (i hope not) then Mitch is suppose to be leaving. Going to try and talk to Bryce, Stephen, and Kori and hopefully its true. Dont want to leave this early.

So me and Jared chatted and thought hey let's make a chat for friends and just use it as such! I honestly would love it but also it's like beneficial for me if it can be an alliance. Three Kings is already nice but we needs some protection and even if it's just Loris and Jared, something is better than nothing!

SOOOO we are going to tribal! Before i get started on that, I want to talk about my relationships. I really like Jared and I tell him pretty much everything. He is my number 1 as of now. Stephen is my number 2, but he also tells me everything. Stephen decides to form an alliance between us 3, not knowing that Jared and I are closer than he is to either one of us. Jared and I made it to the end of the bridge only for someone else to beat us to it. How AGITATING. Me, being the social god that I am, got crucial information from Stephen that Kori wanted to create an alliance with me bryce himself and stephen so I should watch my DMS. Funny thing is, Kori never contacted me ONCE about an alliance; even when I saw him online throughout the day. Turns out, Jared REPLACED me in the alliance and now its a 5 person alliance with everyone except me n maynor (love that for us!!!). This got me thinking, RN maynor is the easy boot because of his activity, but what if we blindside the Kori/Bryce duo. Then I realized I don't have time today to cause chaos in the vote, so I'm gonna just let Maynor bite the bullet and hope we never return to tribal council. If we do, the vote will likely tie 3-3 the first go around and then maybe rocks? It'll be interesting for sure. Stephen and Jared both have been telling me everything in this alliance Kori created, so I am pretty sure they are both more loyal to the alliance with me. I'm kind of hoping we swap soon? I've been building solid relationships with Drew, Michael, Bodhi, Tobi, Mo, and others.

In a miraculous turn of events, I sat out of the challenge and my tribe is still immune! They tried hard to lose though.

Maynor is probably leaving, I'm sad but I haven't told him. If he hasn't been putting in the effort to connect with his tribe enough and they're calling him inactive, I'm not gonna be able to fix that in two hours, and if it gets out that I told him, it's only gonna fuck me up down the road. We're hosting a season really soon anyway that probably would have started casting while this season is going. I'll take a little distance from that to find my footing here.

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https://www.npr.org/2019/09/11/758080813/come-from-away-tiny-desk-concert

Also watch this. Hosts now, everyone else when confs come out

Ok karthik went. This is boring. Hope Kori and Jared are safe. Crazy stuff is probably happening this round but do I care? Maybe. I haven’t decided. As long as I’m safe I’m just here for the social game until merge.

Then it’ll be Big Move Bodhi >:).

I’m immune again tonight yeeehaw. I fully thought I’d fucked it and I got the lowest score on the challenge but also I was sick so I’m gonna blame it on that. This new feeling of being immune in celestial is kinda the best feeling so I’m a happy chloe rn and I love my tribe and I love this cast and I love one world and everything is good and nice

So i'm just. so. relieved. that we didnt have to go to tribal after last one... i think that vote has been the earliest vote i've ever received in an org... all bc of his nasty annoying bitter ass... not over previous beef which is super minor and I SHOULD BE THE ONE WHO'S BITTER OVER IT... but i wasn't and he was and he went from a winner to first boot so he can suck it. i just realized i haven't guessed for idols for the last 3 openings... love being in pst where i'm confused all the time... but anyway i heard from jared that maynor is leaving and he's one of the few people in the cast of whom i have zero connections with so i'm not too pressed about it tbh... even though i've heard he's super sweet but we haven't talked yet... i think... i'm honestly like a little terrified if we go to tribal again because i really don't feel like i have much pull in my tribe even though i've been trying hard socially its just been so flat... idek what more to do bc i already got a vote last tribal and if we go again i have no idea what's gonna happen UGH I HATE THIS!!! im so nervous all the time and i feel like im on the outs so i hope i can survive till swap so i can get something solid going on... this tribe is too straight for me

One hr left and still so nervous. People stopped talking a while ago. Im hoping it stays on Mitch. Ahhhhhhhhhhh. why I’m PAN-icking. Just need to trust the bonds i made with my tribe.

Okay I really think I'm making a comeback! I've kicked my socializing into another level after being so MIA. So far I've done well in the challenges which makes me an asset to the tribe. And I've been trying to talk with EVERYONE. I get a long really well with Zach, Michael, and Chloe on my tribe. And I love Drew but I know he always tries to make a 4 man alliance and he hasn't mentioned one to me so I think I may not be part of his plans, we'll see. On the other tribes I get on well with Matt and Jack and Tobi, I love those boys. I'm hoping to maybe make an alliance with everyone I mentioned, but I have to play it safe for now. Can't come in too hot.

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Maynor is voted out 6-1.

#episode #episodes #shinebright

[ts-indonesia]

Episode 3: “I guess he just wants to be homophobic or whatever” - Isaac

Motivated by a two round losing streak, the newbies battled against the returnees in the ‘bean dilemma’ challenge. After a tense 50:50 choice, the Obor tribe finally won immunity, sending the returnees (joined by Lorelei & Kenny) to tribal council - but Stoner went to tribal with an idol clue in hand.

As Cahaya scrambled, it became clear the vote was to be between two names; Julian & Isaac. While Stoner & Owen attempted to save Julian, his relative challenge/social inactivity and Isaac’s ability to get in with key returnees like Olivia, ensured Isaac’s own safety.

Before tribal council, Julian called out the tribe for voting him out, which alongside Lorelei’s messages in the tribe chat, sent the returnees into a tailspin. At tribal, Julian was sent out unanimously, with Julian calling out Stoner on his way out of the door.

JESS

These newbies.. TRYING TO SET ME UP? I- I'm shook. I don't know if I should tip my hat off to them or punch them all in the neck? JKJK.. But honestly, if I was a newbie I would blame the two random vets who just strolled in for the day to try and cause some conflict with a potential swap near. I'm probably once again overreacting but this just seems so suspicious to me... We lost :( which makes me sad. I didn't want to participate in this challenge but there seemed to be some urgency to get it over with and I didn't want to be "That bitch". I'm trying NOT to get involved in too many things and I'm failing MISERABLY. I hate this. Did I want to be an infiltrator? Kind of. I just honestly want to pull my weight on the tribe and make sure no one wants to murder me. I think I have enough ammo to murder Julian here sadly. So if it is me this vote I'll be the most blindsided I've ever been in my life. Michael and I are sharing idol clues which is pretty cool. I'm convinced there are NO IDOLS on this god damn map though or someone got lucky and already has it. I was contemplating going for the idol in this challenge but honestly... the risk wasn't worth the reward in the end which blows. Sorry if I sound like a god damn ROBOT this confessional. TOODLES

OLIVIA

Had a super great talk with stoner tonight. What a cool guy

I feel like Isaac is on the bottom and I fucking love him I literally don’t think I could vote him out (not that he’s on the chopping block) and he’s not in my alliance :( Also Owen and I agreed to keep our close bond a secret, secret o alliance hehe. But we called and talked tonight I love him too

I guess it’s a good problem to have that everyone on your tribe is fucking awesome but man it makes me nervous for the future. Damn can a tie or something. Isaac-Owen-Olivia-stoner-foxx-Jess-Matt you ALL WIN SURVIVOR!!!!

FOXX

So the challenge ended up being a disaster and we’re going to tribal. Although *technically* I didn’t compete so I’m going to say I have a perfect challenge voting record. That’s how that works, right? I’m just being petulant? Ok. Not much resembling an actual plan has come up yet. We formed an alliance with myself, Jess, Olivia, & Stoner and everyone has come to me about what the plan is so that’s just fine by me since it means I’ve given a good impression to my fellow tribemates. The consensus seems to be Julian since he seems to have contributed the least to the tribe thus far, sitting out of 2 challenges, being inactive, and having a not-great attitude when he visited the other tribe. Stoner is pushing for Isaac but I have a better working relationship with him AND he’s from my homestate so we have that. In the end though I’m fairly indifferent as to how things go. At least in the early stages where I haven’t been given eTrauma by have the cast it’s not fun to vote people out when everyone’s been nice to you but I better get used to it.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Someone talked. I made a couple of throwaway comments about Julian’s comment at the first Obor tribal and apparently he came and told Jess he was sorry about them. The only people who I talked about it with was Jess & Stoner. Both Isaac and Julian know they’re being targeted so somebody has done some talking. It’s been one week and I'm already hyperventilating.  

TRENT

So tribal last night didn't go exactly as I thought. Close but one little thing stuck out. I got a vote. I'm not too worried about it but it's a little strange. I think someone wants me to think it's the returnees but idk why. My theory is that it's chris. I think he's realized im his biggest threat and he wants me to get paranoid or rattled or wants me to lose my temper.  We then went to immunity challenge and killed it for our first win. Later that night anabel told me something very important. That she has the immunity idol. I'm about 95% sure she's telling the truth because I can't possibly think about why you'd lie about that because it would make a huge target on your back. She also told me she would be willing to use it on me if she had to. I told her she shouldnt do that because i don't want to ruin her game, but of course i'd want that. We will see. Going to be interesting who goes home on the other side. IF jess was being super honest with me the other night (which i think she was) I hope it's not her and that swap happens and that the Indonesia gods will bless me and put me on a tribe with her and Anabel.

MATT

ok so after last tribal, we pretty much head right into the next immunity challenge.  it only required four of our nine members, chris, owen and i stepped up and said we would do it.  however the battle for fourth was a DOOZY!!!  Michael was online but said he had a limited amount of time because  he goes into work soon.  Issac, Julian and Olivia weren’t online, Foxx didn’t seem interested in it, so that left Jess. However Jess decided she wanted to put on a whole production of “I can do it if y’all want but i don’t want to”.  For god knows how long, she went back and fourth between some variation of “i don’t mind doing it” and “michael you can do it idk if i wanna do it”.  like jess.  we get it.  you don’t wanna do it so literally just say so. like foxx has no problem doing that so why can’t  you??  But after this whole charade Jess ends up participating.  The four doing the challenge were myself, Chris, Owen, and Jess.  Owen and myself seemed to be the ones who spoke the most and were tying to plan our moves while Jess and chris were just like “ok what am i doing”.   We lost 3-2 and it sent us to our first tribal council.   While on call for the challenge, Chris( i think) brought up what if we lose, what’s the plan.  and mentioned how he wouldn’t go after any of us doing the challenge, we all agreed naturally.  And then it was brought up either Issac or Julian as potential votes.  Which is exactly what i would wanna do.  Both of them seem to be the least active and haven’t really done much for us.  i think issac is probably going to be the target this week simply because he has been the least active, rarely pops into tribe chat, and even chris said he hasn’t spoken to him.  (same goes for me).  So i do think Issac being the boot makes sense here especially with a swap on the horizon.  However i’m not going to make too big of a push for him to go because again, unnecessary target early on.  i want to make it deep into this game.  So my strategy is to make it seem like others have influence over me, agree with them, and subtly push my agenda towards them in a way that they can do what i want . i think being three rounds into this game, i do have somewhat of a solid footing in my tribe and could definitely have some pull later on, it’s just a matter of getting to the end game.

OLIVIA

I feel like everyone’s lying to my face and I’m gonna leave but I also feel like that about every tribal but idk. Something is up with Jess

ISAAC

This round has been genuinely so fucking stressful. It’s our first tribal and Julian says my name because I guess he just wants to be homophobic or whatever. As of right now I’ve been told by multiple different people that it hasn’t been able to pick up much traction (eat your heart out Stoner) and I thank god for that but I’m also dead inside. Like I didn’t wanna see Julian go but he also couldn’t keep his mouth shut which is ironic because the very reason he’s going home is because he doesn’t talk. In terms of sociability I’m really close to Olivia, Owen, and Jess. If we ever make an alliance I’d dub us the losers club but it hasn’t happened yet. Foxx is cool but I’m very weary of him. Chris Stoner is hard to hold a conversation with but I think that’s just because heavy faker than a 3 dollar bill. Michael is an adult and I’m a different time zone so it’s  hard to talk to him physically. Matt just started to talk to me today which left me shook like it’s Day 8(?) This game has started out so rocky for me but I genuinely think I’ve found a friend in Olivia

OWEN

ngl i dont remember what i said last kjfhasdkjfhkjds ??? i volunteered for challenge bc i wanted to slay the strategy but then i didnt listen to my gut in the last round and cost us the win :((( i shoulda know round 4 theyd do 0 so they could go all out round 5!!! but tbh im not sad at all about losing.... the more newbies i can reserve to work with at a swap, the better. plus i got to talk to lorelei again <3 and meet kenny!!!! i tried talking to ppl + fortifying relationships. i called olivia and that went rlly well, i love her and honestly she could be my f2 in this game. the double o alliance? its real !!!  i brought up the idea of the foxx/jess/chris/me/her alliacne and said foxx wanted michael and she told me she liked/talked to matt more than michael and i was like OMG GIRL ME TOO !!! and then I had an idea to make a chat with me/her/matt which i rlly love it seems like julian is goin which i dont mind, would rather michael/foxx go but im not tryna make waves and i want to buld trust this tribal. the only prob is chris told julian and now julian is freaking out. i really fucking wish jess/foxx/chris/olivia didnt have a four person alliance. like why wouldnt jess try to include me on that!!!??? vgrrrrr so idk about her but i like chris olivia and matt rn we definitely swapping tonight so imma gear up1 

ali asked me some questions and now i will answer them. first he asked how my time as infiltrator went and if it impacted my game... it definitely benefit me i believe. I made connections with chris o/lorelei/leigh/anabel, and I believe those will help me a SHIT TON if we swap tonight. jess let me know anabel likes me, lorelei has been talkin to me as an infiltrator, and im so excited to meet up with chris again if i can. i definitely used it to my advantage and i think it could save me in this game later on another question was what my plan is to avoid being sent out as a threat since i am a former winner/"big-brainer" ali said lmao im dumb af. i think part of that is gonna come from who i choose to play with. part of the appeal of the newbies is some of them might not know/care that I have won before. and chris stoner is a winner too so working with him kind of brings that down a bit. when I get voted out of this game, it will 100% be because im viewed as a threat i think. whether its like bc i won comps or bc people like isaac who have been around a while paint me as one idk but im going to have to work rlly hard to build trust with people and make them want to keep me here. other than that its just like...mapping out a path to the end and keeping big threats in the game. uhhh the last question was about who i'd like to see leave if we went to tribal again. definitely foxx, he's working with all the people i want to be working with and for some reason they put him in their alliance and not me :)) soooo love that for me xo bye bye furry

OLIVIA

Julian went awf and Lorelei is a crack addict and we’re about to have tribal and everyone is so fucking paranoid and on edge I can’t handle this

I literally only believe and trust Isaac at this point

MATT

Julian was very quickly the target thrown out for this round.  i had no qualms with that.  Julian was one of the two options on the chopping block.  Everyone seemed to agree on him pretty quickly.   also during class, owen approached me about an alliance with him and olivia which i absolutely ADORE!!! Those are two people i 100% wanted to work with and i’m glad an alliance was made 

#whenyourfiresout

[brittanyyoungblog]

74 Break Up Lyrics for Your Saddest and Strongest Moments

Breakups can do something odd to you. Even though they’re a common enough occurrence and most, if not all, of us have experienced multiple breakups in our lifetime, each one feels new and different. If, like Tostoy says, happy families are all alike and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, then perhaps all happy couples are alike and every unhappy couple is unhappy in their own way.

This is why every breakup feels so different. Because they are. During some you may feel elated and free, others may leave you feeling lost and untethered, while others leave you feeling a sort of grief—a loss for what you had and what was. And when you’re feeling this way it often helps to hear of other’s experiences and to see your pain and feelings (even if it’s just confusing) reflected in their words.

To help you through your breakup and to give you some words you can relate to, we compiled a list of over 70 breakup lyrics from various breakup songs. From the bittersweet and reflective to strong and generous, you’ll find a variety of lyrics from different artists to help you get through your own breakup. And hopefully move on to something stronger.

I don’t know why I cry But I think it’s ’cause I remembered for the first time Since I hated you That I used to love you – Used to Love You, Gwen Stefani

I keep letting you back in How can I explain myself? As painful as this thing has been I just can’t be with no one else. – Ex Factor, Lauren Hill

Didn’t I make you feel Like you were the only man? Didn’t I give you everything A woman possibly can? Honey, you know I did. – Piece of My Heart, Janis Joplin

Oh, you made me want you You made me need you You made me tumble and fall But if I can’t have you The way I want you I don’t want you at all. – That’s It, I Quit, I’m Moving On, Sam Cooke

Every second I’m with you I get increasingly sick and I stop thinking quick And I act like a dick, like a dick, like a dick And all the money I spend is my money again I’ll understand what is said when I’m out with my friends And at the end of the night Baby, I’m’a gon’ drive ’em home – I Don’t Love You Anymore, Bomb the Music Industry!

He called me baby, baby All night long. Lord, I feel so empty Since he’s been gone. Now I lie here and I die here Until the dawn. I miss my baby, baby, baby All night long. – He Called Me Baby, Candi Stanton

Dude I’m so over you You don’t even have a clue All you did was make me blue You didn’t even make me, come on! – Come On, Lucinda Williams

Now baby girl have dumped me She no longer wants me I’m no longer hired She says that I’ve been fired On to the next one More fish in the sea Girls are like buses Miss one, Next 15 one comin’ – Break Up, Mario

I ain’t sayin’ you treated me unkind You could have done better but I don’t mind You just kinda wasted my precious time But don’t think twice, it’s all right – Don’t Think Twice, Bob Dylan

One taught me love One taught me patience And one taught me pain Now, I’m so amazing – thank u, next, Ariana Grande

If only there could be Another way to do this ‘Cause it feels like murder To put your heart through this I know I always said That I could never hurt you Well, this is the very, very last time I’m ever going to – Eventually, Tame Impala

It was hard to love a man like you Goodbye was half the words you knew While you was waiting for me not to call I sent my love, I sent my love. – Hard to Love a Man, Magnolia Electric Co.

There’s been some things that I wanted to say a long time Never have I spent a day without you on my mind And I’ve tried a lotta songs and I need to try one that’s new But I don’t have anymore love songs to try on you. – (I Don’t Have) Anymore Love Songs, Hank Williams, Jr.

Watch the steps Get a drink, have a good time now Welcome to paradise, paradise, paradise Since I left you I found the world so new – Since I Left You, The Avalanches

I’m sorry for honesty, I could not bear To lie to you To lie with you I’m sorry for honesty, I’m well aware I lie to you When I lie with you You Don’t do it for me anymore – You Don’t Do It for Me Anymore, Demi Lovato

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. – Goodbye My Lover, James Blunt

You want to jump and dance, but you sat on your hands And lost your only chance Go back to your hometown, get your feet on the ground And stop floating around – Gone for Good, The Shins

Since he left my life’s so empty Though I try to forget it just can’t be done Each time the doorbell rings I still run. – One Less Bell to Answer, The 5th Dimension

I follow you down until the sound Of my voice will haunt you (Give me just a chance) You’ll never get away from the sound Of the woman who loves you (Was I just a fool) – Silver Springs, Fleetwood Mac

After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that I hold resentment for you But uh uh, oh no, you’re wrong ‘Cause if it wasn’t for all that you tried to do, I wouldn’t know Just how capable I am to pull through So I want to say thank you – Fighter, Christina Aguilera

This is the last song that I write while still in love with you This is the last song that I write while you’re even on my mind ’cause it’s time to leave those feelings behind. – Blue Skies, Noah and the Whale

The scars of your love remind me of us They keep me thinking that we almost had it all. The scars of your love they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling, we could have had it all. – Rolling in the Deep, Adele

You don’t wanna give and you don’t wanna know how If you were gonna change things, you would’ve by now When were you around? Where were you at? Trying not think about it, baby Running up and down the stairs ‘Til there’s nothing left between us but what we won’t say Walking away, walking away, walking away – Walking Away, HAIM

(I gotta shake you off) ‘Cause the loving ain’t the same and you keep on playing games Like you know I’m here to stay (I gotta shake, shake you off) – Shake It Off, Mariah Carey

I wanna hear your band; I wanna give it advice; I wanna meet your girlfriend, she sounds nice; I wanna take you home; I wanna feel my age; I wanna freak you out on a different stage; I wanna show my teeth; I wanna keep you fed; I wanna get you drunk and let it go to your head So I guess this means we can’t be friends. – We Can’t Be Friends, Loren Scafaria

Before this river Becomes an ocean Before you throw my heart back on the floor Oh baby I reconsider My foolish notion Well I need someone to hold me But I wait for something more Yes I’ve gotta have faith – Faith, George Michael

And every time I’ve held a rose It seems I only felt the thorns And so it goes, and so it goes And so will you soon I suppose – And So It Goes, Billie Joel

Have a seat, have a drink, tell the jury what you think Was I good to you? Was it hell, was it fun, did you think I was the one Was I glued to you? Now that I found someone who makes me wanna live Does that make my leaving harder to forgive? – How to Forget, Jason Isbell

I would rather, I would rather go blind boy Than to see you, walk away from me child. So you see, I love you so much That I don’t want to watch you leave me baby. Most of all, I just don’t, I just don’t want to be free. – I’d Rather Go Blind, Etta James

Show me something, all or nothing You keep on changing your mind I can’t chase it, I can’t take it Only a matter of time ‘Til you’re crawling on your knees Begging pretty please You think it’s funny keeping me wanting And that’s why (I really fucking hate you) – Hate You, Kate Nash

Please don’t say you love me Leave me, don’t fuck with my mind Try to understand like you’re a good friend of mine Cause I’m doing fine, yes I am I’m doing… – Doin Fine, The Heavy

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating But baby when they knock you Down and out It’s where you oughta stay – I Don’t Love You, My Chemical Romance

Sunshine, blue skies, please go away A girl has found another and gone away With her went my future, my life is filled with gloom So day after day I stay locked up in my room I know to you, it might sound strange But I wish it would rain. – I Wish It Would Rain, The Temptations

In my life Why do I give valuable time To people who don’t care if I live or die? – Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now, The Smiths

Now I’m feeling how I should, never knew single could feel this good, oh Stop playing miss understood, back in the game, who knew I would, oh So flex how I spread my wings, loving myself makes me wanna sing, oh Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah – Ridin’ Solo, Jason Derulo

As I walk this land with broken dreams I have visions of many things But happiness is just an illusion Filled with sadness and confusion. – What Becomes of the Brokenhearted, Jimmy Ruffin

Now oh so easily you’re over me Gone is love It’s me that ought to be moving on You’re not adorable I want something unignorable – Shut Up and Let Me Go, The Ting Tings

Ever since I met you my life’s been a song A sad song, a love song with hate in between – Sound of Your Memory, Willie and Lukas Nelson

Oh, how am I gonna get over you? I’ll be alright, just not tonight Someday, hey oh, I wish you’d want me to stay I’ll be alright, just not tonight – Gonna Get Over You, Sara Bareilles

Loving you Isn’t the right thing to do How can I ever change things That I feel If I could Maybe I’d give you my world How can I When you won’t take it from me – Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac

But If you loved me Why did you leave me Take my body Take my body All I want is All I need is To find somebody I’ll find somebody – All I Want, Kodaline

No more I love you’s The language is leaving me No more I love you’s The language is leaving me in silence No more I love you’s Changes are shifting Outside the words – No More “I Love You’s”, Annie Lennox

There’s a scar on my soul So let me down easy Break my heat sweetly Like you always do. – Break My Heart Sweetly, John Moreland

Drowning in my coffee To wash the alcohol Out my bloodstream Sitting here I wonder If we hadn’t been at all Who would I be? – Getting Over You, Lauv

I was all right for awhile I could smile for awhile But I saw you last night You held my hand so tight As you stopped to say, Hello – Crying, Roy Orbison

Cut the cord Is that a man I once adored? He’s nothing but an albatross No great loss Doublecrosser – Forget About the Boy, from Thoroughly Modern Millie

And you got away, didn’t you babe, You just turned your back on the crowd You got away, I never once heard you say, I need you, I don’t need you I need you, I don’t need you And all of that jiving around – Chelsea Hotel #2, Leonard Cohen

Sometimes I wake up crying at night And sometimes I scream out your name What right does she have to take you away When for so long you were mine – You Were Mine, Dixie Chicks

Why she had to go I don’t know she wouldn’t say I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday. – Yesterday, The Beatles

Don’t call me up I’m going out tonight Feeling good now you’re outta my life Don’t wanna talk about us Gotta leave it behind One drink and you’re outta my mind – Don’t Call Me Up, Mabel

You want me to act like we’ve never kissed You want me to forget Pretend we’ve never met. And I’ve tried and I’ve tried But I haven’t yet. – I Fall to Pieces, Patsy Cline

The judges will decide The likes of me abide Spectators of the show Always staying low The game is on again A lover or a friend A big thing or a small The winner takes it all. – The Winner Takes It All, ABBA

I won’t die this way, got a broken heart ’bout ready to escape and a mouth full of bitterness I can taste it still I wonder if you hate me now – Glendale, Clans

And don’t call me up at 3 in the morning If she didn’t pick up and I’m your second choice ‘Cause I know you’re drunk, your love is a hoax And I hate the fact that I still recognize your voice – Darling Don’t, Silver

But since you been gone I can breathe for the first time I’m so moving on Yeah, yeah Thanks to you Now I get what I want Since you been gone – Since U Been Gone, Kelly Clarkson

Feel so restless, I am, Beat my head against a pole Try to knock some sense, down in my bones. – You Can’t Put Your Arms Around a Memory, Johnny Thunders

I remember you telling me, that you would love me and treat me tenderly. But all you’ve ever given is just plain misery. – To Hear You Say You’re Mine, Candi Staton

Well, I learned that I don’t need you And I don’t need you around ‘Cause I’ve found somebody new, somebody new I said I learned that I do not need you I don’t want you around Like I said, I’ve found somebody new – I Don’t Need You Around, Jackie Wilson

You’re on a different road, I’m in the milky way You want me down on earth, but I am up in space You’re so damn hard to please, we gotta kill this switch You’re from the 70’s, but I’m a 90’s bitch I love it, I love it – I Love It, Icona Pop

Maybe the darkness of the hour Makes me seem lonelier than I am, But over the darkness I have no power, Hope she’ll be happier with him. – Hope She’ll Be Happier, Bill Withers

Moving without you, moving without you Loving without you, loving without you Happy without you, happy without you, happy without you Better without you, better without you, better without you – Better Without You, Kelly Rowland

Now laughing friends deride Tears I cannot hide So I smile and say When a lovely flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes. – Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, The Platters

I hope you know, I hope you know That this has nothing to do with you It’s personal, myself and I We’ve got some straightenin’ out to do – Big Girls Don’t Cry, Fergie

I got no place left to turn I got nothin’ left to burn Don’t know if I saw you if I would kiss you or kill you It probably wouldn’t matter to you anyhow – Standing In the Doorway, Bob Dylan

It must have been love but it’s over now It must have been good but I lost it somehow – It Must Have Been Love, Roxette

If the phone doesn’t ring You’ll know that it’s me I’ll be out in the eye of the storm If the phone doesn’t ring You’ll know that I’ll be Where someone can make me feel warm It’s too bad we can’t turn And live in the past – If the Phone Doesn’t Ring, It’s Me, Jimmy Buffett

He walks away The sun goes down He takes the day, but I’m grown And in your way In this blue shade My tears dry on their own – Tears Try on Their Own, Amy Winehouse

I got it bad I think you know You’re everything, you’re beautiful But my life is fast, can’t make it slow We’re here right now Kiss me before I go, but you got to let me go – Bet Ain’t Worth the Hand, Leon Bridges

When I’m not drinking bay, you are on my mind. When I’m not sleeping you know you’ll find me crying. – Lover You Should’ve Come Over, Jackson C. Frank

And I’m done hoping That we could work it out I’m done with how it feels, Spinning my wheels Letting you drag my heart around And, oh, I’m done thinking You could ever change I know my heart will never be the same But I’m telling myself I’ll be okay Even on my weakest days I get a little bit stronger – A Little Bit Stronger, Sara Evans

And the grass it was a ticking And the sun was on the rise I never felt so wicked As when I willed our love to die And I was your silver lining as the story goes I was your silver lining but now I’m gold Hooray hooray I’m your silver lining Hooray hooray but now I’m gold – Silver Lining, Rilo Kiley

You roll out of bed and down on your knees And for a moment you can hardly breathe Wondering was she really here Is she standing in my room? No, she’s not ‘Cause she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. – Dreaming with a Broken Heart, John Mayer

Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning? Who’s gonna rock you when the sun won’t let you sleep? Who’s waking up to drive you home when you’re drunk and all alone? Who’s gonna walk you through the dark side of the morning? It ain’t me – It Aint Me, Kygo and Selena Gomez

We use to kiss all night but now there’s just no use I don’t know why I fight it, clearly we are through Tell me the truth boy, am I losing you for good? – Losing You, Solange

‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell I had to learn how to fight for myself And we both know all the truth I could tell I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell” I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’ I hope your soul is changin’, changin’ I hope you find your peace Falling on your knees, prayin’ – Praying, Kesha

The post 74 Break Up Lyrics for Your Saddest and Strongest Moments appeared first on The Date Mix.

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[javodvarka]

I love great character moments. And this episode had ALL THAT and a bowl of grits. Clarke and Madi mother/daughter feelings? Check. Monty and Echo hugging? Check. Niylah being a pod person? Check. Murphy and Emori bonding over explosions and taking hostages? Check. Blakes sword fighting? Check. Echo getting the fuckin’ glow up? CHECKITY FUCKITY CHECK.

“Exit Wounds,” written by Drew Lindo, a newcomer to the writer’s room, and directed by Michael Blundell in his directorial debut put the war for Eden in motion, but using mind games instead of swords and guns (for now). Octavia and Diyoza punching and counter punching in a war of wills and Echo putting her spy skills to use represent an exciting way to maneuver these two factions into intrigue and more conflict without spilling a drop of blood (well, unless you’re Octavia, and killing your own people’s blood is just another Tuesday). Madi’s secret was revealed and dealt with in surprising and scary ways, revealing some suprising enemies and allies. Relationships were dealt with, including a very frank conversation about change, jealousy, and resentment, and Clarke saw her worst fears come true, as Octavia moved to set herself between Clarke and Madi for what purpose we simply do not know yet.

Let’s get into it!

Stupid Sexy Smart Diyoza

So, of course Diyoza quotes Sun Tzu and The Art of War. She’s a cunning leader who is absolutely smarter than Octavia as a military leader. She knows that Octavia’s people have knowledge and skills her prison folks just don’t have, and she’s looking at the big picture of actual sustainable survival. She knows that bloodshed is not the only way to wage a war. She’s so smart.       (i love her)

Instead of using guns and manpower as weapons, she uses something far more subversive: food. Thanks to Kane’s intel, she knows that Wonkru is running low and understands that six years of bunker food (IT’S PEOPLE, IT’S MADE OF PEOPLE, OMG WE ALL KNOW THIS, RIGHT?!) and facing possible starvation with no way to cross the wasteland is a way to psychologically worm (ha!) her way into the hearts and minds of Wonkru, who aren’t the single-minded organism that Octavia would like to think as we come to find out.

Leveraging Kane’s knowledge of Octavia and Wonkru’s situation to find an alternative way to start widening the minute cracks in Wonkru’s foundation is just such a smart move for the show to make. We’ve watched wars get waged in several violent ways and having a cunning character like Diyoza follow an unexpected path is one of the many joys and surprises of season 5.

All the while, she finds a way to piss off McCreary and flirt with Kane. IN THE SAME SCENE. “Fostering dissent is like seduction. It takes time.” MY WOMAN.

My love for Diyoza is reaching embarrassing levels. This character is just electric every fucking second of screen time and she’s really changing up the dynamic of conflict this season. I should be rooting for our protagonists of the last 4 seasons, but I simply cannot. While Octavia kinda makes it easier, Diyoza is simply too good a character, and too smart for me to not to like a whole lot.

But. BUT. Y’all, I be worried.

I think it’s kinda obvious that I’m on Team Prison as Octavia and Wonkru are so problematic and scary for me, and there’s going to be a dark year reveal soon that will make it nigh impossible for me to not be even more freaked out by them. But Team Prison is not all that great either and feels held together by bubble gum, chicken wire, and the sheer force of Diyoza’s will. I think this season is delving into the nature of loyalty and leadership in ways that haven’t been explored before, and Diyoza will see her people turn on her. She’s one or two McCreary confrontations away from losing them.

There’s a pragmatism to Diyoza that doesn’t fare well in the face of impatience, ego, intellectual laziness, or lack of vision. How does one convince a bunch of violent prisoners who want to bust heads that supply dropping food is playing the smarter long game? They don’t fuckin’ care about the long game. They wanna bust heads. Wonkru may have some spreading cracks in its foundation, but Prisonkru is a festering powder keg and something tells me Diyoza will realize this too late. She thinks she’s leading an army, but really what the fuck is she the Colonel of? A bunch of barely organized prisoners? Ooooo girl. .

Kane’s Gettin’ a Little Uppity During Lunch Hour

You guys notice how Kane is now at the cool kids’ table, thinking he can talk smack to the other cool kids? I love you, you sexy beardy man, but damn son, please don’t poke the McCreary bear.

I love that Kane feels a little bit more comfortable with Diyoza…I think their dynamic is fun to watch…but McCreary’s nickname is GRAVEYARD. Yo. GRAVE. YARD. That’s not unicorns and lollipops and rainbows type of shit. Watch yourself, Kane. Diyoza seems to be the type to enjoy goading two dudes into a dick-measuring contest then stopping it to show power. Hey, it’s not rational, but her jabs at McCreary are telling.

Fake It Until You Make It – But What If You Never Feel You Make It?

I have a problem with Octavia. I’m having a very hard time reading her character. The way she goes around scowling and growling at people can, at times, feel a bit over-the-top. I’m starting to wonder if it’s a deliberate acting choice to convey something that I suspect to be true of Octavia: she has no fucking clue what she got herself into and the moment she lets the Blodreina facade slip, she’s dead.

There have been some very obvious times this season where we’ve seen glimpses of Octavia Blake – her frustration over proposed blanket theft resolution, seeing Bellamy for the first time in six years, her waving to Monty…but those moments stand in jarring opposition to Octavia stomping around barking orders and hissing threats.

I want to believe that Blodreina is just a persona – a mask – that Octavia felt she had to wear in order to get people past their divisions and get them all on the same page in the bunker. And over the years, she’s somewhat gotten better at being this Red Queen, but it’s never fit just quite right. There are times where I feel she’s barely in control of this other person she’s had to become and she doesn’t quite have the skills to move into a non-bunker world and maintain control.

Let’s face it…life outside of the very structured boundaries of the bunker adds a layer of complexity to what Octavia has to do to lead Wonkru. Kara (stupid head!) is right about the murmurs of doubt. Octavia looks weak due to her failure to cross the wasteland, and Octavia isn’t not equipped with the knowledge or experience to do anything other than view war as her only option. She’s a bulldozer looking for a hill to raze. She’s simply not on Diyoza’s level and it’s quite apparent that the best plans she implements are those suggested by others.

Now, I am by no means calling Octavia dumb. But she is, at this point, a blunt instrument to Diyoza’s scalpel. She’s also out-technologied in a big way, as the Eligius mother ship has an eye on Polis and Wonkru’s movements. She’s also out-intelled, as Kane is giving Diyoza all the data she needs and Octavia doesn’t know much at all about who she’s dealing with. And given Octavia’s character development over 4 seasons, she’s a warrior. Of course her first instinct is going to be to hack away with a sword until someone’s dead. That’s kinda all she knows. Plus she is emotionally immature. Plus her coping skills are SHIT.

Now, I’m sure a bunch of people are reading this and think I hate Octavia or think she’s stupid. Look, you could put me in charge of an army and I wouldn’t know fuck all about military tactics. You could put me in an airplane cockpit and we are definitely going to crash. Socially stunted people without skills in an area they’re suddenly thrust into aren’t necessarily going to thrive! People rarely succeed when they are ill-prepared, under-skilled, or lacking talent. That’s why I’m not a mathematician and went into liberal arts. And the reverse is true. IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE GOOD AT STUFF. IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. It’s only through failure we learn. Just in Octavia’s case, failure is simply not an option.

I’m not hating on Octavia to say I think she’s teetering on the edge of letting the mask slip, of letting people see she’s not cut out for this role she’s created for herself. That maybe, just maybe, she’s way in too deep with this Wonkru craziness and there’s no ability to just sort of quit and move on to something else. Deeply flawed characters are fine, sometimes they’re great. And not all protagonists get to die a hero. Octavia’s story this season is fascinating to watch because I feel I’m watching one of the show’s four main protagonists slip down into an antagonist role, and it’s far more interesting than another season of “oh, look, Octavia’s in this scene.”

While I’m on the subject of Octavia and Wonkru, I wanted to point out the significance of what that Shadow Valley hippy couple said: they wanted to go back to their home and start a family where they’re free. Free. Huh…interesting word.

Now that Wonkru is no longer trapped in a box, the individual members of Wonkru can restart their lives outside of the bunker. Does freedom from the bunker also mean freedom from Wonkru, freedom from whatever they did in that bunker? Can Octavia really fight against people who want to express their individual “rights” outside of bunker society. Does Octavia even care about those seeking an escape from their past? Will her need to hold onto power mean she stomps on the individual liberties of others? I mean, I think we’ve already seen the answer to that.

I’m sure there will be a showdown at some point that will cause Octavia to confront imposing her will on a people who are no longer bound by walls to conform to her rule. Will that opposing voice come from Bellamy, Clarke, or one of her own? Indra perhaps? If someone does call her out, I think we know that person will be marked for death.

WHATEVER, KARA: My Obligatory “I Hate Kara Cooper” Section

Hey, y’all like that scene to open the episode where Clarke is tending to Octavia’s worm…hole? bite? boring location? wound? and Kara “THE WORST” Cooper comes in and is all like “Hey Octavia, you ready, you can’t be sittin’ here licking your wounds, your people expect you up and about and doing cult stuff, let’s go we got a full day of cultin’ to do!”

And Clarke rolls her eyes and is like…”Whatever Karen.”

Kara pops up throughout this episode to be the absolute worst person in the world – a world filled with exceptionally bad people mind you – and any time she’s on screen, I just squint my eyes and seethe with the hatred of a thousand suns that are…like…very filled with hate. As suns usually are. SHUT UP, IT’S SCIENCE!

At the end of the episode, when Bellamy and Clarke catch Kara shooting defectors, I was like “FINALLY! They got her! She went against Octavia’s orders and Octavia will have no choice but to kill her betraying ass” and boy did I ever eat a disappointment shit sandwich on that one. OF COURSE Octavia gave Kara the order to shoot defectors, to make it look like a real defection and all. Dumb me.

I hate to say this, but……………..

…………….Kara’s right. Octavia’s grip on power, absolute in the bunker, gets a little hazier in the light of the sun, and Octavia needs to exercise her power in order to put across a message of “hey, I’m still the Red Queen here.”

It must be EXHAUSTING to be Octavia. Especially when stupid head Kara Cooper of ShesTheWorstKru is always there needling you and reminding you that you slip up once, and people will pounce, like once did and SHOULD HAVE BEEN KILLED FOR BUT NOOOOO SHE WON A SWORD FIGHT, LIKE SO LUCKY, WHATEVER. GOD!

Let’s turn now to something positive.

I Love Season 5 Bellamy…That’s Like My Opinion, Man

I don’t care what people say. This is the best version of Bellamy and I love him.

He’s smart, measured, balanced, and a fuckin’ grown ass adult. And guess what, I like smart, measured, balanced adults. I’m weird that way.

He’s matured into a Bellamy who in many ways, has reigned in the impulsive parts of himself without losing the passion and drive that was always the best bits of Bellamy, especially in my second-favorite iteration of him in season 2.

Not only did I love the sword sparring between he and Octavia, I loved that bit in the end:

“We all have things to answer for, things that shouldn’t be forgiven but are because we did them for our people. Our family. Echo is no different. She was an Azgeda spy, now she’s with me, your brother who is trying very hard to understand who you are now compared to who you were six years ago. All I’m asking is for you to do the same.”

Just such great goddamn dialog. So much was packed into a couple lines that really felt a lot like a super-condensed version of the arguments I made about Echo’s character development and our protagonist bias in my off-season Echo Defense Squad write up.

I’m not saying “look at how smart I am” for echoing (OLOLOLOLO) a lot of the same sentiment put forth by Bellamy’s dialog…but I’m not NOT saying “look how smart I am” either. I just feel kinda good that my thoughts about Echo/protagonist bias got addressed in such a straight-forward way. No biggie tho.

I think Octavia and Bellamy’s conflict also shows how much he’s changed and how much she’s dug into who she’s kinda always been. Octavia is about actions, not intentions. Bellamy, in his balancing his heart with his head, realizes that intentions are important. Reasons are important. Point of view is important. This is an emotional maturity that Bellamy has grown into throughout the series, with a lot of influence from Clarke, who is now letting her heart lead her a bit more this season. She’s grown because of Bellamy, because of Madi. But Octavia…Octavia, for me, lies in stark contrast to everyone else who has actually progressed in six years.

Octavia, again, is a blunt instrument. She doesn’t look past actions. Actions speak loudly to her, she doesn’t much care about the intention behind them. Punch her, she punches back. Her world is simple, black and white. Wonkru or enemy of Wonkru. This is NOT a good way to navigate a world with any level of complexity. I really am wondering if being in that bunker isn’t just being back under the floor. The larger world, the ability to change and evolve, the FREEDOM to change and evolve and choose one’s path simply isn’t available to Octavia. The bunker, like the floor, stunts her growth, turning her more inward, giving her an echo chamber which she never needs to question. And where she’s never questioned.

Octavia meets challenges, conflict, and stress with anger and violence. This is NOT a well-balanced human being who has emotional maturity, and this stunted growth makes her assessment of situations – looking merely at actions – and her reply – usually driven by anger – highly problematic. If love is weakness, then does Octavia consider its opposites as strength? This is going to be an issue moving forward, especially in light of Bellamy’s growth. And THAT’S OKAY. I love that people are growing when others are simply not. Again, change can happen at different rates, or not at all. Throwing this all into contrast by using the delta between who you were and how you are is fascinating stuff. I really dig the stuff we’re exploring this season.

This whole episode had so many great parts featuring Bellamy and Bob acted his goddamn ass off. It’s almost astonishing that I don’t notice his performance more because it has been great since the pilot (fight me), but there was just something about his dialog and delivery this episode that really sparked off the screen.

The Becho of It All, I Love It, That’s Just My Opinion, Man

Bob and Taysa have great chemistry. Bob expressed a lot of emotion in his line delivery with her. I think the dialog just fucking hit it out of the park more than usual. A lot of heavy lifting was done in this episode to progress our understanding of how their dynamic evolved, even though we didn’t SEE it, which is a sticking point for so many people.

But I also think we could get 50 years of Echo and Bellamy together, with generations of kids and grandkids, and there would still be some folks that would “Yeah but, we didn’t get to see it”. I’m no longer interested in having that conversation.

Hey, I didn’t get to see Bellamy suddenly be okay with killing 300 Grounders in their sleep either, but I head cannoned my way around it.

I like Becho. I think it makes sense, especially in the context of a show that is all about “what would you do for your people?” It’s ridiculous to not extend that consideration to Echo or Diyoza or Blodreina when we’ve done it consistently with Clarke, Bellamy, Lexa, Pike, et al. I think flipping perspective is a healthy way to understand the experiences of people who we have trouble relating to. So I’m into it.

Sorry if you’re not into it, but no worries. I’m sure the Becho relationship will soon be fridged and thrown into the Bellarke volcano as tribute.

But hey Becho…

The Emori of It All

I am actually someone who genuinely enjoys when people are in love and are putting in the heavy lifting to make a relationship work. I know I don’t put across that aura, but trust me, I dig a well-oiled partnership without drama for drama’s sake. I don’t like prop relationships.

While there is conflict with Memori, it’s not in order to push people apart so they are available for someone else…this relationship, and it’s breakup, is about as real as you can get when it comes to one of the main sources of relationships hitting the rocks – people change. And often that means growing apart in heartbreaking ways.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Emori found a greater purpose on the Ring and was part of something bigger than herself. Remember, she’s an outcast because of a physical mutation, forced to be a loner. But that doesn’t mean that she necessarily liked being a it or understood what it could feel like to be part of a group, a family. I teared up for Emori in this scene because I totally feel for her and love how she’s changed over these six years. She’s found her place. Her people.

And Murphy, who is far less capable of expressing his feelings without getting snarky and resentful, admits to feeling unneeded. He was jealous of Emori and how she was changing into this new, more fully-realized person, and he resented her and punished her, driving her away.

It’s sad because it’s a familiar story line in a great many relationships, real and fictional…it’s almost a given that change will drive resentment of some sort with two people. The key is working through it, getting right with it, then getting past it.

Murphy is the kind of dude that KNOWS why he does stuff, but won’t admit to it. He knows all of this, he knows he lashes out when in pain and hurts those he loves (you can see it on the Eligius with Raven and his immediate remorse), so it’s not that he’s emotionally dumb, he’s just sooooooooo bad with expressing himself in a way that is conducive to a conversation versus a fight.

We still love him despite his immature actions because he can be remorseful and come correct. He’s not that guy that sticks to his guns and won’t admit his faults, even if he does it sarcastically. It’s his armor, and I get that.

God, the fucking acting with these two. They’re not the warmest, cuddliest people on the face of the irradiated earth, but they express their love, hurt, and affection in sharper, more sarcastic and caustic ways. And it works for them. I totally buy into this relationship because it feels like two peas in a pod…a prickly pod, but they’re a matching set.

Especially when it comes to doing a little murderation and hostage-taking. These two have a thing for getting sexy by stirring up trouble. Am I into it?

Leave it to Murphy and Emori to blow up a couple of their pursuers and wound McCreary, who is now their hostage. Have you ever seen two people share a smile over taking a hostage? Hell, they were going to have post-exploding-people sex. Tell me these two crazy kids aren’t completely made for each other.

Hey Look It’s Niylah and She’s Totally Normal You Guys [INTERNAL SCREAMING]

Yay! We finally have confirmation that Niylah is still alive. In my last review, I said this about her:

“I love Niylah. I love how chill and peaceful and GOOD she is. Niylah went into the bunker, but who came out?”

Niylah seeks out Clarke, calls her out on avoiding her, then gives her a carving of a panther, a great callback to Niylah’s introduction in season 3 that I truly appreciated. These callback moments help connect characters through their history and instantly remind us of “oh hey, remember how close these two once were and how awkward things are now?”. We got treated to more great dialog in this episode as these two had a chat:

Clarke: Things are different now.

Niylah: Not everything has changed. I carved this for you. Remember the panther I smoked and made into jerky for you?

Clarke: Yes I do. That was some great panther! Do you cure meat for Wonkru?

Niylah: Not FOR Wonkru. FROM Wonkru.

Clarke: [………………….]

Niylah: Also, that panther is carved from an Azgeda femur. If you hold it up to your ear, you can still hear him screaming.

Is Niylah now a Wonkru pod person? You bet your ass that Niylah is now a fuckin’ pod person. The most cinnamon roll of cinnamon rolls is turning Wonkru into people jerky. She’s fully bought into the cult and dedicated to Blodreina and her calm demeanor during this conversation, a trait I had come to admire Niylah for, is now fucking frightening as fuck. I can’t be alone in this. My sweet baby Niylah is now a doe-eyed cult member and probably spends her time perfecting her jerk rub for long pig.

PLUS, SHE WAS GOING TO RAT ON MADI BEING A TRUE NIGHTBLOOD.

You guys, NIYLAH AIN’T RIGHT.

I hate it but I love it all the same because it’s so fucking eerie how nonchalant Niylah is about everything. She’s like a friend from high school you reconnect with after ten years and things are all cool. Until she starts talking to you about Amway.

I guess this is as good a place to bring it up as any:

You guys ready to see the emotional fall out over what happened in the bunker? Like people just finally breaking down from what they experienced in there? The picture getting painted is quite clear to anyone picking up what Blodreina and Wonkru are dropping: something really bad went down. And no one will talk about it.

But someone eventually will. And there will be a reckoning. Because it’s one thing to do abhorrent stuff to survive in a closed environment, but now that the bunker is opened up and there’s a larger world to exist in, how will people reconcile whatever happened with their new life?

I can see someone like Niylah falling apart. Or Kane – as I suspect he might begin revealing to Diyoza what happened in the Dark Year. I think Diyoza will sense something hinky about Wonkru that isn’t just devotion to Octavia, but a fierce protective instinct/fear of discussing what exactly went on in the bunker. Kane probably feels great shame, but has, like the others, convinced themselves that survival depended on it…and by it, I mean cannibalism. What other taboo could be causing them to act like this?

Oh, this is going to be a shit show, to be sure. I’m positively giddy with excitement. And I know you are too…c’mon, admit it. You, dear reader, are just as complicit as I am in this weird titillation over crossing into that one last taboo.

Also, a shared shame is a powerful glue…Wonkru’s secret is one of the things that holds them together, but once someone exposes that secret, shit’s going to hit the fan.

Everything’s Changed

I don’t think we’ve had a sharper focus on how the characters feel about the current state of things than when Clarke tells Niylah that nothing’s the same. And it’s not, especially for Clarke, who after a shit time on earth, seems to be the one that fared the best in the six years that have passed. I think she found some measure of peace in her life in the Shadow Valley and with Madi. Her unease with Octavia, Niylah, and the rest of Wonkru is her intuition telling her that everything is fucked up and Madi, due to the nature of her night blood, is in grave danger.

Clarke has changed too, and I like how she’s not at the focal point of the first half of the season. She no longer feels the need to lead. Hers is a people of one, and Madi is her only priority. Bellamy has a slightly larger circle of seven people to look after, and Octavia has a gaggle of cultists at her beck and call. There is a looming danger here of competing priorities, of perceived threats, and clashing personalities and egos. Bellamy, Octavia, and Clarke are in a tenuous triangle of tension and conflict, exacerbated by the fact that no one truly knows each other any more.

And now that Octavia has essentially plucked Madi from under Clarke’s protective wing, she’s going to get even more fucked up because Octavia done poked mama bear Clarke.

AND YOU DO NOT POKE THE MAMA BEAR.

Speaking of which…

Wanheda Versus Blodreina: ARE YOU READY?

Where are my Degeneration X fans at? BREAK IT DOWN…

(I really know where my audience sweet spot is…the 3 people who watch The 100 and have deep WWE historical knowledge)

The second Octavia “adopted” or whatever the fuck you’d call it (abducted?) Madi into Wonkru, all bets were off on how Clarke is going to respond. Can you imagine watching in horror as your “daughter” gets inducted into a cult by the one person who can do some serious harm to her? Does anyone truly believe that Octavia has Madi’s best interests at heart? What exactly are Octavia’s intentions? Does she view Madi as a way to control Clarke? And poor Madi, who thought she was doing the right thing, doesn’t have the insight or experience to understand how big of a threat Octavia is.

Let me speak a bit on Madi’s decision. I wrote a poem to reflect my feelings upon seeing her go to tell Octavia the truth about her nightblood:

“OH MADI NO” by Jen

OH BABY NO DON’T WHAT IS YOU DOIN’???!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK [big breath] FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! THIS IS BAD.

WHY SWEET BABY GIRL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! [faint]

Yes, the Lebron meme – so very timely right now, so appreciate my cultural awareness – is part of the poem. I work in mixed media. My talent won’t be confined to just one method of communication.

I realize Madi thought she was protecting Clarke by coming clean so they didn’t have to go back to Eden with Diyoza a perceived threat, and it’s a completely Madi thing to do. She’s got spunk and agency, but unfortunately the Octavia of Clarke’s stories no longer exists. But she doesn’t know that. I don’t blame Madi, I’m just face-palming a bit because we, the audience, have far more insight into Octavia, can viscerally feel Clarke’s panic, and realize that inexperience and youth are driving a lot of Madi’s innocent actions.

That Madi has Octavia-shaped stars in her eyes doesn’t help anything. Like I said, she has no idea what Octavia has done, or what Wonkru is. She’s living off of Octavia’s greatest hits, not her current material. We’ll see if Madi gets clued into something being wrong in the state of Denmark. I don’t doubt we’re going to get some Madi being bratty with Clarke over “cool aunt” Octavia. It’s about to get all high school drama up in here. “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT, MOM!”

I thought perhaps Clarke would align with Octavia against Diyoza, but now it’s looking more likely to be the other way around. Clarke knows Octavia is dangerous, her interactions with Niylah and Gaia opening her eyes a bit more to the politics and cult of personality that is Wonkru.

I can only guess we’re now going to get a war between titans – Wanheda vs. Blodreina

And how, exactly, is Bellamy going to react to all of this? At some point, you’d think he’s going to have a make a choice between the two. In the past, his choice has almost always been his sister, but it’s been six years, people have changed, and Octavia has gone down a very dark path.

I Have A Big Apology to Make

In my Red Queen review, I wrote that I simply do not trust Gaia. I think I was wrong. Let me give you a 2018-version of an apology:

“I’m sorry you made me feel that way and say those things about you.”

I’m still not quite sure what Gaia’s agenda or what she plans to do, but it appears that she’s going to protect Madi. She was ready to kill Niylah to protect Madi. This was not something I expected out of her, and that was was also unwilling to just force Madi to take the Flame is yet another interesting detail. We know very little about the Flamekeepers, their beliefs, and their role in Grounder society.

Now we know Gaia is still ready and willing to adhere to her faith. How she reconciles serving both her queen and her faith will hopefully get explored, as I think we can all agree: we need to see much more of Gaia. She’s too interesting to be left on the periphery of the narrative, especially since the dynamics between the group of women – Octavia, Kara, Indra, and Gaia – is just RIPE with possible intrigue, conflicts, and power struggles.

But I’m sorry, Gaia. You surprised me this episode. I now fully endorse the Hashtag Protect Gaia At All Costs 2018 ticket. Stuff those ballot boxes, folks.

I would like to rage.

Simply The Best…Better Than All The Rest

Of course I saved Echo for last. Because this was the episode I had been waiting for.

CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT.

If you’ll indulge me, I will yet again hearken back to my Echo Defense Squad Assemble piece I wrote prior to the season when I spoke on Echo’s potential. I maintained that she’s ride or die for her people, and I think her devotion to Azgeda proved it over and over again. Of course, a lot of what she did, we didn’t necessarily like because she wasn’t one of the “good guys.” Now that she’s ostensibly one of the “good guys,” how will we view her actions and her character?

I believe she’s ride or die for her little Spacekru family. Much like Emori, I don’t think Echo knew her place in the world. Outside of Azgeda and her service to its royal family, what was her role?

Just as Emori learned she had more to offer, I think Echo learned she had the ability to now choose where to place her loyalty and trust. She lacked agency in the past, driven merely by her duty to her clan. Having a choice, having the freedom to figure out your place in the world is a powerful story. Emori’s story resonates with me, and now so does Echo’s as I understand her better because I can see how she relates and interacts with the people I’ve trusted for 4 seasons.

Echo showing agency was very important for me this season. When Octavia basically makes Echo choose between banishment or turning in the names of those who plan on deserting, Echo refuses to give up the names. And it’s important to note her sense of integrity is not driven by anyone else. Bellamy could have told her not to, as it would mean the death of innocent people who just want to be free of Wonkru, but he never weighs in on Echo’s choice. It’s her decision alone to make, and I MAY have been slightly excited when she said she wasn’t going give Octavia anyone’s names.

Echo and Bellamy do manage, by coincidence of needing to get back to Diyoza’s ship, to convince Octavia to let the deserters go. Echo has to get Monty’s thumb drive to Raven to do computer stuff to hide them from the eye in the sky and all that technology mumbo jumbo. Saving people is a by-product of their plan. It’s a bit weird that it’s never quite clear that killing deserters is really all that upsetting to anyone until after the fact. I guess I would have thought this would have drawn more ire from Bellamy or Clarke.

Echo’s skills as a spy (they don’t call it spycraft for nothin’, folks…it ain’t easy) and understanding of military tactics make her quite valuable. We see snippets of her skills and how she’s leveraged them to teach and protect Spacekru throughout some of the early episodes, but she really shined in “Exit Wounds.” And in the matter of statecraft, what Echo learned from Nia gives her the ability to see how actions taken or not taken may hurt Octavia from a political standpoint, but a short-term loss might be necessary for long-term gain. She’s able to offer strategic, not just the nuts and bolts of how to execute a plan.

What I wouldn’t give for an episode of just Diyoza, Echo, and Indra having dinner and chatting about Sun Tzu, warfare, political maneuvering, fighting styles…I would be entranced.

By the end of the episode, I was thoroughly entertained and delighted by the direction they took her in and how they showed her competency as a spy and improviser. Now, thanks to Echo, I know that gunshot wounds are not only horrible, but also handy-dandy places to hide thumb drives and other small objects. That was some quick thinking on Echo’s part, and although gross, I have to tip my cap to her cunning.

I’m happy to see Echo now in play and Raven back in the picture to move the story line along, but I’m not sure I’m all too happy about Monty, Clarke, Bellamy, Madi, and Harper being left behind in cray cray land. I’m a “get the Adventure Squad together and keep them together!” Polly Anna, and it would be fun for 5 minutes before hindering the plot. So I be patient. But not too patient.

Sidebar: the one unexpected moment that delighted me to no end was Monty and Echo hugging goodbye. These small moments snap us back to the reality that these people have been together for six years, and friendships formed in the confined Ring up in space seem to be based on mutual admiration, trust, and affection. Contrast that feeling to the vibe coming from bunkerkru, held together by something deeper and darker. Contrast that to the “me and Madi against the world” loner vibe off of Clarke, and it’s all so very different from what we’ve felt from these characters before.

Some might not like it. But stories move forward, and the people in them evolve and change in ways that are natural within the narrative. Season 5 has turned out to be something completely fresh while still adhering to many of the recurring themes throughout the series, while admittedly applying a new coat of paint. I’m still highly engaged and excited to see where season 5 goes next. It’s been fucking fantastic to me. There are those who are unhappy with some decisions, but patient and respectful of the craft.

And there those who are unhappy and flinging shit in every direction. We’re not talking constructive criticism here, but ire and hate. To those who are just launching negativity at the show, creators, and actors, I say look to the nearest exit. There are thousands of other shiny objects to thrill and delight you on TV if The 100 no longer fits the bill.

And weirdly, it’s perfectly acceptable to dislike a thing and not raze it to the ground. After the Star Wars fuckery this week, my tolerance of fan entitlement and toxicity is nil. Well, it always has been, but this week of all weeks I’m really just ready to drop gloves. I’m happy to see a legion of SW fans rise up in support of Kelly Marie Tran.

Deathwatch 2018

From week to week, I’m ranking characters by likelihood two die in two buckets: gonna die and long shots. Dead characters of note are in the “May We Meet Again” category.

It’s been my contention for awhile now that one of the “core four” is dying this season. It’s season 5, I reason it’s time to kill off a major character. Y’all. I am officially WORRIED about Clarke Griffin. Marie, Bob, and Lindsey have all made some sort of reference to season 6, indicating strongly that they’ll all be back. There is one person missing in this equation, and that’s Eliza. Not one word of getting advance ideas from the writer’s room, season 6 prep talk, or celebration over getting renewed.

There’s really only one person who can sufficiently express how I’m feeling right about now, and that’s Paula. See how she’s barely holding it together? It me. It SO me.

Of course, I need to remember I have it in my own head that one of the Core Four is dying this season. But I could be dead wrong. You know how you convince yourself of something then you just start descending into an anxiety spiral as you start connecting dots and drawing conclusions based on the implications of one thing or another? That’s where I’m at. What I need to remind myself of is that none of my theories about this show ever come true. Like, EVER. That I have chosen to ignore my own poor track record, yet again, must be the pure embodiment of “lord, give me the confidence of a mediocre white man.”

Also, I’m adding Madi to my long shot list. Because as I’m spiraling on Clarke, people are telling me there’s NO WAY they’ll kill off Clarke then my mind just shoots off to other characters in a panic and lands on the last one I want to die, which is Madi, which sets me off into another anxiety spiral…this Deathwatch 2018 feature was my worst idea ever.

Sure Bets, One of These Peeps Is Dyin’

Abby

Kane

Kara (+1, moving her up out of pure spite because I’m petty that way)

Indra (-1, moved down to move Kara up, suck it Kara!)

McCreary

Dropped off the list: Echo, for now, but you know, Bellarke volcano god must be fed!

Loooooooooooooong Shots, Place Yer Bets!

Clarke (previously unranked, as me worried AF now)

Murphy

Madi (previously unranked, as me worried AF now)

Monty

—- (I’m stressed enough about Clarke, you want me to pick someone else I love to replace Bellamy on this list? What kind of monster are you?)

Dropped off the list: Raven (1), Bellamy (5) – both have been mentioned season 6 prep

May We Meet Again

Jaha – he was number 1 on my Sure Bet to die board, though I take no pleasure in being right…it was a sorta easy read based on social media. Jaha was an interesting, complex, often infuriating figure in this universe, so RIP.

Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018

Welcome back to Raven Reyes Nookie Watch 2018! This is a weekly recurring feature of upmost importance. It’s all about the nookie!

Fun fact about the Nookie-O-Meter: it cannot render a reading if Raven – and by extension, potential nookie for Raven to partake in – is absent from an episode. Where Raven at? Not cool.

A SKIP BAYLESS GIF. Look, The 100 writers, I have been brought low by the absence of Raven. I resorted to a fuckin’ Skip Bayless GIF. Don’t do this to me again. It makes me feel icky.

RAVEN REYES NOOKIE ALERT LEVEL: Hazy, ask again later.

I see Raven is back next episode, so I’m excited. Some Raven is good. More Raven is always better. And once Raven is back on our screens, I can access, with scientific rigor and accuracy, the odds of nookie bein’ gotten at some point in time.

Parting Thoughts

Slarke is my ride or die ship – that’s Clarke + soap. There are some nice conditioning products I could recommend for that Polis hair.

I have read that that some people consider “Exit Wounds” a “filler episode,” including people I presume are paid to write about TV professionally. A filler episode, according to TVtropes.com: “Filler episodes are entries in a generally continuous serial that are unrelated to the main plot, don’t significantly alter the relations between the characters, and generally serve only to take up space.” In my profession, if I couldn’t differentiate between feature and a benefit, I wouldn’t have a job.

WORDS HAVE MEANING.

Guys, do you think only Monty can see the ghost of Harper?

Just how many caves across the land do you think Murphy and Emori have had sex in?

Where my Chekhov’s serial killer Vinson at? Probably off reading “Leaves of Grass.” I luv him.

Monty’s tired of all this war shit. I feel you, bro.

It’s weird seeing fandom’s opinions of Octavia’s trajectory being all over the place. Some people think she’s going to make good. Whereas people like me think she’s going to spiral even further down. Uncertainty as this point is exciting. Nothing has been telegraphed.

Anyone else excited as fuck to watch Murphy and McCreary chew scenery together? And just how turned on will Emori get?

(I’m not saying threesome, but since someone out there is thinking it, I’m just doing us all a favor and mentioning it right here and now)

I simply cannot wait for Wanheda versus Blodreina or Blodreina versus Diyoza or Clarke versus (or working with) Diyoza – and the look on Bellamy’s face.

The downfall of leaders this year is going to be lack of vision.

The downfall of leaders this year is going to be lack of people who believe your vision.

It doesn’t warrant its own section but I wanted to mention that Eliza Taylor is oozing stress and concern over Madi’s well-being and it makes me so anxious, especially when Madi goes and puts herself in danger.

I intended for this review to be shorter. Work has been very busy and I’m killing the game this week, but I thought I’d lay off on myself with this review. 7600+ words later, I have failed.

TWEET/RETWEET: If you enjoyed this review, please share, retweet, or like it on twitter.

SPOTIFY PLAYLIST OF THE 100 MUSIC!: Hey people who like sounds entering your ear holes! I have a Spotify playlist, which is music from and inspired by The 100. You can find it right here and marvel at my musical tastes. I keep it up to date with anything featured on the show or in promos.

FINAL VERDICT!

“Exit Wounds”: 8.5 out of 10 fingers pokin’ around in gunshot wounds

There are some The 100 reviewers/recaps/writers you should absolutely be reading, and I offer them up for your enjoyment; I have no affiliation with any of them, save for being a fan:

Selina Wilken – a mix of passionate fandom and truly professional journalism.

Erin Brown – unfairly beautiful writing. Like seriously, stop being so good.

McKenzie Morrell – recapping her damn face off and great interviews with the cast!

Toni_watches – piss your goddamn pants hilarious photo recaps.

Jo Garfein – great fandom charity auctions.

Disclosure: this is my own indie site. This is on my time, my dime. Becho is endgame.

At this point can we just mark him down as “enemy of Wonkru?”

You are Wonkru or you are the enemy of Wonkru. Choose.

The 100 – “Exit Wounds” Review and Analysis I love great character moments. And this episode had ALL THAT and a bowl of grits. Clarke and Madi mother/daughter feelings?