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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

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I lost one of my chickens :( she was caught and carried away by a fox... I’ve been growing complacent about my chickens’ safety I think because we’ve only had one other attack before, a goshawk that swooped in abruptly (unsuccessfully), but no fox sightings nearby so I’ve been assuming Pandolf was a great deterrent. Which he is, just not foolproof. I’ve talked to some people in town about this and they were pretty philosophical about foxes stealing chickens, like “it’s the tribute we pay to woodland animals, it’s just a few hens here and there.” I don’t begrudge the fox for being a fox, if anything I have a renewed respect for foxes because everyone I talked to proceeded to give me their best / worst fox stories, and most of them involved foxes outsmarting humans (learning people’s habits / timetables, opening latches, faking a limp...) Still I feel terrible for my hen, she was only three. RIP Cordy :( You’ll be remembered fondly... (except by the cats.) I feel bad for the other hen too, who just lost her pal!

When I said that last thing, one of my neighbours jumped on the opportunity to try and convince me again to accept a rooster from him. He had a rooster baby boom last summer and I’ve been telling him for months that I don’t need a rooster, I don’t want to raise chickens I just want eggs, and his new argument was that a rooster would protect my hen (or if it comes to that, would heroically sacrifice himself rather than let the hen be eaten—I’m sceptical...) I asked around for a young hen but there aren’t any to be had in this season, so my remaining one is going to be alone until the spring, and my neighbour said she’d get stressed and male company is better than no company. (I wish I could ask my hen what she wants! Maybe she’s penning A Coop Of One’s Own as we speak.) I said the rooster was more likely to stress her out and harass her and he said nah they’re free ranging all day, it’ll be fine, and he’s young so your adult hen will boss him around. I was like, but then will he be any good at protecting her? etc. etc. and after a while I caved in.

When I told her about this on the phone my mum sighed “you’re terrible at saying no”—excuse me, I said no so many times and the guy just kept ploughing on until he could foist a rooster upon me. I’m good at saying no, other people are terrible at hearing it! I reassured her that I had only agreed to take the rooster for a short probationary period, and if he bothers my hen too much I’ll drive him back to his native farm. My mum was like “Drive him back? look I’m sorry I raised you as a city kid but there’s no need to waste gas on driving a rooster around, I’ll have no qualms about wringing his neck for dinner if he’s more trouble than he’s worth.” The rooster’s fate is not sealed though, if he is anywhere from vaguely useful to not actively problematic I’ll keep him, so we’ll see...!

#if i return him where he came from he'll end up eaten anyway #prove yourself rooster! escape your fate #to go back to the fox attack; my other chicken went to hide in the barn (which is always open and they were not far from it)#and i thought she'd been eaten too because i couldn't find her anywhere. until i heard her clucking to herself anxiously #i called her and she clucked louder in response but refused to come out of her hiding place #after 10min of playing marco polo with a chicken in the barn i finally found her huddled at the bottom of #the large basket i use to store kindling #and pandolf & i went to look for cordy although i didn't have any hope #and we ended up finding feathers quite far away in the woods #i was very impressed by pandolf's ability to follow the fox's smell ! i've been teaching him 'cherche' but he's not that good at tracking #or not motivated enough when it's just for fun #but since he failed in his duty to protect his flock i guess he was suddenly very determined to be #a good dog in some other way and he was sniffing the ground so seriously #sorry the post was already long and i'm writing another one in the tags!

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schmweed · 3 months

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#David Tennant #Alec Hardy #Ellie Miller #Broadchurch #my gifs #Yes they're talking about something extremely serious.#But can you see soft way his eyes tenderly trace her eyes and just rest on her face like it's the best thing he could look at?#He spends so long just looking at her -- and she is so mindful of his comfort level and RARELY looks back when he's looking at her.#If he's looking at her she's always looking ahead or down or away.#Except if she needs to hold his gaze to get a message across. Like go make some tea. Or if they're both worried.#This reminds me -- she is so naturally instinctively understanding of him #We rarely hear her addressing him by name after the rant that falls out of him when he has dinner at her place in S1.#She gets that simply looking at someone while you're talking to them is enough. And you don't need to tack on their name on top of that.#Which astounded me actually! I wondered if Chris Chibnall had spent some time around an autistic person!#Because I feel EXACTLY like Alec does abt names! I hate names. I hate using them. It's so unnecessary.#I'm not as outspoken as him though so I use them when I can't get out of it. But I hate it and I hate ppl using my name.#That scene was ASTOUNDING I'm telling you -- it took my breath away to find my very specific struggle onscreen!#Anyway. Yeah. She doesn't bug him or insist even though to her it's second nature.#I bet you she's very good at coming up with pet names -- another thing my autistic brain shrieks at and sth I suspect Alec finds impossible #Oh Ellie -- beautiful beautiful adorable strong wronged Ellie!#Wronged by everyone except him <3 #Well and a few others -- Mark was kind to her despite his pain. Brian never treated her badly that we know of.#I will always love them for that.#I wish Jack had survived -- I think he would've been kind too. Maybe she would've hidden in his store when it got too much.

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biillys · 1 year

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and you— you were happy.

#top one most heartbreaking scenes in the world.......................#m #gifs #billyhargroveedit #needed a break from trying to make palette sets and Colour Specific Gifs for billy week work and somehow thought /this/ would relax me??????#now im just fucking SAD #billy hargrove #its the WAY u can see him like. fucking PHYSICALLY reacting #to when el says 'she was pretty'#like he's fighting with himself SO HARD to like.#OKAY NO LISTEN! its the way that when el ventured into his head the first time #she saw him. on the beach #with his mumma. grinning from ear to fucking ear #but surrounded with The Neil Of IT All still #like even his happiest memories where clouded with neil #so like. even when billy retreats into his head- into his HAPPY place #its STILL got neil just on the outskirts........ always still there.....always overshadowing and like. eventually taking over.#so el!!!!!!! when el fucking looks up at him!!!!!!!!! crying and begging!!!!!!!!!! she just!!!!!!!!!!!#she brings forward all those memories!!!!!!!! except she cuts neil out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! focusing on his mum!!!!!!!!!!!#highlighting every single fucking detail!!!!!!!!!! that billy can never focus on!!!!! because even his happiest memory isn't safe #and els just like!!!!!! the wave was seven feet!!! u told her it was seven feet!!! and there was sand in her shoes!!! and she was pretty!!!#she was really pretty!!!!! and you WERE HAPPY.#the way billy fucking breaks??? after she says 'she was pretty'#and then the way his face Does That and he nods along with 'she was REALLY pretty'#then the 'and you- you were Happy.' part #like #i fukcing WISH i died instead

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pcktknife · 2 years

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thinking xinyans spikes make her look unappealing........

#imma explode i cant stand genshin fans bro yall dont know anything #thinking shes out of place in her country bc of her eng accent and rock and roll....shes pioneering a new genre she punk shes literally #is not meant to fit in #ive never seen a worse read of her character #also moving her to mondstadt would better her character at all 'make her barbs best friend' YUNJIN IS RIGHT THERE #theres literally a dynamic of a traditional opera singer being friends with a musician of a new genre how the fuck do you think putting her #in mondstadt would better her character #and saying her being brown doesnt affect her popularity bc kaeya is so stupid as if kaeya isnt a character you 1) interact with multiple #times 2) has lore directly tied to a huge plot point of the game 3) is brothers with diluc and also has that lore happening #she and kaeya have different number of fans cause kaeya has more lore and has more importance to the story her being brown could still #effect xinyans popularity regardless of what kaeya looked like he was probably always gonna be popular #im gonna explode no one's allowed to have opinions on xinyan but me now cause what the hell did i just read #kae.txt #ive never had the interpretaton of a character piss me off so bad oh my god #mhy

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 1 year

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hello, i would like to hear about the titans fantasy au O.O

Oh man, you really shouldn't enable me like this... but if you insist!!

Alright, here's the setting: We're in some weird Lord of Rings/DnD fantasy setting with various magical creatures and inconsistent technological developments. Were tunics worn at the same time as ball gowns? Were carriages used at the same time as broad swords? I don't know! And I'm not doing any historical research! It's just haphazardly medieval!

Donna, for the most part, is relatively unchanged. She fits into this setting rather well. She is the demigod daughter of Zues, warrior in training, third in line to be Queen of the Amazons. At 13 years old she is a new arrival from her island nation and she is hoping to learn monster hunting (she's hoping to learn by doing). The one condition of her joining Diana was that she was supposed to stay with Diana at all times. Both of them nodded and smiled in agreement when their mother, the Queen, said this. Both immediately parted ways once their boat hit the shores of this new and exciting world.

Speaking of new and exciting, the King of Atlantis' ward is tagging along for the first time to see the surface world. Garth is fascinated (and a little terrified) and he's hoping to learn new types of magic! The Crown Prince (his older brother) Koryak says that he will make a fearsome mage one day and he really doesn't want to let him down. Garth imagines that one day his brother will rule as King and Garth will be there at his side as the Head Mage. He really has to work on his skills to get to that point though! Hence studying abroad. He's also... maybe... looking to meet some friends. Or any friends, really. He doesn't have any and he's heard good things.

Lord Richard of Gotham is so tired of politics. His... 'father' is the Crown Prince, next in line for the throne of Gotham. Not that anyone, including Bruce, is happy about it. The Kane family has had the crown for centuries and now, because the King only had daughters and Bruce's mom had the audacity to marry a Wayne (their rival house), they stand to lose it all. Thankfully, Bruce's status as Crown Prince is only temporary. As soon as Princess Kate Kane is married off, her husband will automatically be next in line. (Although they've sure been taking their time with that. What's the hold up?) So Bruce doesn't have to ever worry about being King and Dick (as Bruce's totally legitimate love child that Bruce didn't make up to make sure Dick could inherit everything if he ever died, don't do the math on their ages) doesn't ever have to worry about the throne at all. Sure, he's technically second in line but it's as far away from reality as a nightmare and just as scary. For right now all Dick has to worry about is being a squire, going on adventures and learning how to be a great knight! What could go wrong!?

Crown Prince Elroy is fucked. Seriously fucked. The old Crown Prince Oliver saw Roy at an archery competition and decided 'Yeah, that one.' Ollie offered him a room, food and all the arrows he could ever want. When Roy found out that Ollie was taking a page out of Robin Hood's book, Roy was overjoyed. The two of them had a blast stealing from the rich and giving to the poor. It was great! And then Ollie's father, the King, found out. He disowned Ollie, not that Ollie cared, and life went on as normal with one major giant exception. The King didn't have any other children (legitimate children anyway) and Ollie was now disowned. So the King legitimized Roy as Oliver's bastard child and heir. Or, sorry, Elroy because apparently 'Roy' wasn't fancy enough. Now Elroy is the Crown Prince. Elroy is under lock and key so that Ollie can't influence him. Elroy is being forced to study. (The King promised him that this was just to make Ollie see reason but Roy isn't so sure... the King is putting a lot of effort into his training...) The only saving grace is that Roy is being sent away this summer to learn sword fighting. Archery is 'a cowards sport' apparently and Roy 'needs to expand his horizons'. Well.. they certainly agree on that last one. Roy is making a break for it and he's not coming back.

Wally is a young apprentice working for his Uncle Barry. He's learning how to make medicine and treat wounds and find useful herbs. At least, he's learning that sometimes. A lot of his time is spent being a delivery boy. Uncle Barry says that's an important part of any medical treatment, actually delivering the medicine. Wally thinks that he just wants him to burn off energy. Regardless, Wally spends most of his time delivering medicine and he does it well. It helps that he can cross the continent before most people can blink their eyes. He can't tell anyone that though. Barry has made that part extremely clear. As far as their patients are concerned, Barry is a local doctor who just lives outside of whichever town they're in. There's a lot of things Wally can't tell people. Like how his eyes glow and magic lights up on his fingertips when he's excited. Or how he doesn't really like hats, he just has to wear them to hide his slightly too pointy ears. He gets it. He does. He's heard the whispered stories of fae, the hushed talk of changelings, he's read the old cracked tomes on the Elven Folk. He knows what people will think he is. But he isn't. He really isn't. He's just... Wally. And sure, he might be a little bit odd but he's just as human as the next guy, he swears!

Donna finds herself left on the doorstep of the greatest monster hunters in this new world. Garth is accepted to shadow some of the best defense mages ever. Dick finds himself stopping in with some fellow Knights (he is soon to be one after all) on his way home after a particularly hard mission. Roy finds himself shipped off to learn sword fighting from some 'trusted experts'. Wally is on a routine delivery run to drop off some supplies for his Uncle's good friends. Whether it's fate or something far more sinister, they all find themselves at the temple of the Knights of the Emerald Flame. Sir Hal Jordan, who was not ready for the sudden onslaught of children, panics and gives them a mission to get them out of his hair.

The rest, as they say, is history.

#i actually have really extensive plans for each character #especially Garth and Wally #its funny Donna just kinda showed up cause she heard about the Emerald Knights and just wandered in #Dick was literally just looking for a safe place to sleep for the night before journeying home #Wally was just dropping stuff off #Roy and Garth were the only ones actually supposed to be there. and Ollie was supposed to be there to pick up Roy #because this was just a ruse. it was a rescue attempt but Ollie got sidetracked #really Hal only agreed to Garth being there so that he could watch Hal do magic. and Hal wasn't even really looking to teach him #Hal just wanted an easily impressed audience so that he could show off #but then five fucking kids showed up and Hal was like 'oh FUCK NO! Here's an easy mission! go do this!!!'#Garth thought it was training Donna was chomping at the bit to fight something Roy just wanted to be unsupervised #Dick thought Hal genuinely needed his help with this and Wally was like '?!??! HUH?!?'#but hey. He went with it. cause Barry told Wally to always listen to Hal unless he's doing something stupid.#but Hal wasn't doing anything. Wally was the one doing something stupid. so it didn't count #anyway. i have. so many thoughts. literally its planned out until they're adults #dc #dc comics #titans fantasy au #wally west #dick grayson #donna troy #roy harper #garth of shayeris #fab five

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girls-and-honey · 22 days

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#okay so random tag post even though it's been ages #me thinks the current place i work is actually decent a la accepting-queer-ppl so?? miiiiight. consider actually putting my #pronouns in my email signature (which hardly gets used but shh) but like. the actual ones not the society/people assume anyway ones #idk i attended a virtual tech focused event for trans dov (yes early but they didn't want to put the event on sun) and you know when #everyone is just sharing their stories and experiences and it's just like... an overwhelming sense of community? anyway that #and since it was hosted by a professional org the topics were all workplace focused and mayhaps that's something i'm thinking abt for #this year. at least within our pride group I might be ready? wild bc for a long time tumblr has been the only place I feel comfy being 100%#myself. but hearing real people's stories makes me feel like that kind of community would be nice to have elsewhere too #and the whole looking to others also turns around into the leading by example thing bc then we had some breakout groups at the end for #networking which is not my favorite but! i did my intro and said I use she/her for work but will use she/they for this group and #then the next person said he/him at work but for this group he/they so that made me wonder if it was bc of me saying so first?#which if it was is kind of like oh. the way I'm looking for those people for me.. I can also be that for someone else #anyway this sounds dumb typed out but irl/professional me has always separated out queer identity so it's new to me #i'm allowed to be giddy okay. just a little. as a treat (is tumblr still using 'as a treat' i really hope so)#oh shit is this what gender euphoria feels like #alright that's it for now i think #gah emotions and whatnot #missed you all btw i'll start actually being online again soon #personal

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good-beans · 5 months

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(Milgram self-insert oc masterpost hehe)

Name: For the sake of posting online I’ll call her Rose!

Color: #E7355B [the pink in the art]

Age: I guess she’d be 20 given when Milgram started huh. Gross.

Status: Milgram Staff, Machine Technician

Symbols/imagery: ballet, musical theater, potted plants, board games, various bugs

Song genre: very similar to Mahiru's, something upbeat and extra pop-y

Tentatively she's number 011? She's not really prisoner but she's also not free to come and go, so I'm not actually sure if she'd get a number

Story: I figured since the project is supposed to be realistic/present day, the mv machine would be brand new and unpredictable tech, so they’d want someone keeping up on maintenance and making sure the brain-invasive process won’t cause any harm to the prisoners. She was studying abroad in Japan working on some cool neuroscience tech (irl I know nothing about technology or brains but shh) and she stumbled upon the Milgram team’s machine/plans. Long story short she was dragged into the experiment to make sure things ran smoothly.

Writer's Reasoning: She’s really fun for me to play around with, as she allows me to work with a character who is simultaneously trapped in the prison but hasn’t committed any murder**, someone who has a tiny bit of pull over Es’ mindset in conversation but not the final decision (aka the voting system), and someone who would have a reason to see all the canon content.* I really enjoy the character interactions and dynamics Milgram has set up so far, so it’s been super fun seeing how things change for better and worse when someone not quite aligned with either Milgram/the prisoners is thrown into the mix!

*As much as I love dramatic irony in fiction, it would drive me crazy if I knew every detail of of the vds/mvs but Rose didn't – and every single Milgram character is The Worst Communicator Ever so I couldn’t justify that she’d hear it second hand from them...

**I’ll also add that I don’t believe I’m above murder lmao – the main thing stopping me from making her a prisoner was a) the reason above, and b) there’s no way I could have produced a full music video, and it would've driven me crazy if she didn't have one 😂 Still, I imagine she has to run some tests on the machine to make sure things are calibrated correctly, so she'd extract little things here and there (giving me the opportunity to think up lyric snippets and recurring symbols for her without worrying about full encompassing music videos :))

Story roles:

She’s a bit conflicted -- she’s officially Milgram staff and knows she should remain neutral on the prisoners, since she won’t be allowed to interfere with the process/executions. At the same time, her job description is literally “make sure they all are safe and healthy” and she's way too emotional to avoid getting hopelessly attached to everyone 😅

I really enjoy the theory that the machine extracts videos based off of priming, so one of Rose’s duties involves listening in on the interrogation and making sure there’s been enough material discussed/not too much time has passed overall (hence the ringing of the bell happening at different lengths for each vd). She then watches the mvs along with Es to make sure there are no machine glitches.

I'm not afraid to admit she falls into Mary Sue territory every so often by being everyone's friend, because it's less about "aw everyone likes her" and more about "canon is too painful rn and I need a fix-it tool to take care of these guys and give them hugs and tell them someone forgives them and cares about them and unfortunately these characters wouldn't let anyone less than a friend do that." Rest assured she's definitely not perfect and will fuck everything up on occasion :3

Miscellaneous: Whenever I play around with normal au ideas she's still working on the machine (but in a public, more ethical setting), and she's Mahiru's roommate :) Her character isn't super focused on love, but if I had to pick a cover song it'd be Stickybug II. It's very much my vibe, the lyrics fit well enough (better than most songs, at least lol) and it's one of my favorites of the unchosen songs!

So yeah, I hope she's not too boring without a cool crime to decipher, but I wanted to share since I was really proud of her! It took a bit of tinkering to find a way to fit her into a perfect secret-third-thing role that runs very smoothly with all of canon, so I was very excited!

#waaahh posting before i chicken out #I've never posted about a self-insert so please be kind lmao 😅#i dont expect a ton of hype for her but if people have questions im always down to talk about her hehe #this is my only art -- i rarely draw oc stuff but i was really happy with how this came out #i definitely dont think shed get a number or those side rune straps by canon standards but the art wouldnt look right without them #im mad that the lab coat and gloves make her look a bit like shidous design :/ i definitely wanted more scientist vibes than doctor #dw she wears her PPE when she works on the machine 😤#yeah yeah theres some shipping aspects sue me -- but genuinely its mostly for fun character studying and fix-its #mkdr and neoneon also hold a special place in my heart but i didnt want to double up on covers #im so sad because she just. doesnt fit into LCSyS #the machine is fake in the au so shed have no opportunity to join the experiment #plus even if i made her generic staff shed just be on the receiving end of the lie with es... which is just canon until the very end adfsdf #WOO huge thank you to kyanako5972 and purgemarchlockdown for enabling me to be annoying once again >:3 #and thank you gunsli!! our chat was the first time i ever talked about her and it really gave me a lot of confidence :')#not maintagging but i will edit for organizational tags later #i also may put this on my writing blog at some point but we'll see #my art #rose posts #ocgram #milgram

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strawbebbiesart · 2 years

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🐶 the dog days 💚💛💙❤️

#traditional art #my personal favourites #sasha's art #artists on tumblr #Illustration #art #dog #okay so i know these look much different than the stuff i usually do BUT #because of my job i've had to sit in on a lot of conferences/ meetings/ educations and such and some of them? not the most exciting #so i started doing these #actually i made a Green One first but then when i made two other ones the original Green One didn't Fit the Vibe of the other ones #so i made this New Green One last #also all of these were made just straight ink to paper without a sketch first so that's why they're all so... Wonky #so tbh i am a bit... embarrassed to post these lmao but!! i've been trying to post more of Whatever i do not just digital art #idk i have no idea how people are vibing with like. stuff like this and the pastels toucan and the clay stuff??#ouuuugh it's so hard to. get over myself and just use this blog as a place to collect all my art instead of like. trying to Present it to-#-The World #i am not doing art as a Job and i never Would!! i am doing it for Me!!#but it's still so Scary to put anything Out There!!! it's so Scary!!#i always have this Fear that someone is looking at these and Judging Me and being like Uuugh Why Does She Even Try Shes So Bad #which like #if someone is!! that's Fine!! like it's Fine this is a fun hobby i love!!#when will i calm down about this lmao #anyways #hope you like my dogs!!#they're borzois

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commsroom · 4 months

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hi there, long time listener first time caller. genuinely i love your blog sm, everything you say about hera brings me so much joy.

anyways, what’s eiffel’s favorite ice cream?

hi, thank you so much! that means a lot to me. ♡

eiffel's favorite ice cream... hm. once zach said eiffel's favorite ice cream would be cotton candy dippin dots, and i love that answer. other than that... i think he likes 1) sugar, and 2) novelty. eiffel's not a same flavor every time guy; he's mixing scoops of bright neon flavors favored by children and then covering them in toppings. he also likes coffee ice cream, of course, and he doesn't think you can go wrong with chocolate. even better, combine those, too. he likes ice cream sandwiches, and the deep fried ice cream you can get at fairs. as long as it isn't trying to be fancy or healthy, i don't think he'll turn it down.

... there's also a non-zero chance that cigarette candy put the possibility of cigarette ice cream in his brain. that guy's taste buds are broken. love him so much.

#thank you so much really!!#i definitely see you in my notes all the time + please know that i am always happy to talk about hera whenever <3 #speaking of hera i know i've said this before but #i think eiffel would hype up junk food and if hera could actually eat she'd be like. hm. it's not good actually #hera's favorite ice cream would be like. kulfi.#minkowski of course is a big fan of ice cream. more of an ice cream enthusiast than eiffel who is just a general sugar enthusiast #and she wants like. the really decadent rich kind with cake bits and stuff in it. but she absolutely refuses to indulge #except on scheduled cheat days and this drives eiffel out of his mind. she's like despondently looking at a milkshake place and he's like #why do you torture yourself. and gets one for both of them. even if she complains about it she won't turn it down #like he knows it's giving her an excuse.#asks

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shadowedvales · 4 days

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so… in the additional media of stranger things (specifically the comics i’m mentioning), it was initially brenner’s idea/plan to kill off the other test subjects because they weren’t performing as well as eleven was. it was his best solution because that way, all the resources, time, and money could instead be placed only to her. and i just…. sure henry is a fine character and the massacre makes a lot of sense to me, but i think i am once again gonna change up my canon to actually fit this potential narrative instead.

i genuinely think the comic canon of the lab and brenner is far more intriguing than the show. everything with 9/9.5, ricky, and francine. eleven being the only one who grew up completely in the lab. those other kids were either volunteers, well into their teens, or had some semblance of a home life. eleven was the only one practically moulded from the womb. and they all had such a range of interesting powers. i firmly stand with the idea that jane is the only one who can contact the void.

brenner’s entire point of view on the lab subjects changed the second he found out terry was pregnant. he discovered he could steal this baby and make her his own. there would be no convincing the child because it’s all she would have ever known. because of this, i would not put it past a man like brenner to kill the other subjects for the sake of the “greater good” in this case, eleven.

eleven’s gifts just continue thriving beyond his wildest expectations. brenner would never dare assume that having moulded her from the womb, she would still be able to grow into her own person, her own mind, and one day be able to see him for exactly who he was.

back before season four aired, it was obvious there were other test subjects because jane was 011. so there were at least ten kids before her. but i always liked the idea/assumed that she was the last experiment because she was the most successful. that they didn’t need anyone after her because she was fulfilling everything they set out for her to do. with flying colours.

i just think the whole rainbow room idea, pitting the kids against each other thing… been there, done that. boring and predictable. i think at this point my portrayal of her time in hawkins lab really stems from the complete isolation she endured. where having the rainbow room, although eleven was obviously the most isolated out of the kids, brings that sense of community and sister/brotherhood. albeit extremely warped and toxic. knowing that she wasn’t alone in that experience just. doesn’t sit well with me. i think it’s important to note that she was alone, physically and mentally. which is why kali is also so important to her growth. i thought a lot of the flashbacks of her time in the lab during season four was really boring, repetitive, and just very predictable. although peter becoming vecna was a surprise to me, and was a nice little twist, the idea of her having an ally on the inside was really interesting.

maybe they did get as far as they do in canon, peter ballad was telling the truth about everything, about some of the workers there being prisoners like him, and he really wanted to get her out and to safety. but before they can escape through the pipes, they’re caught. peter is shot on the spot, and eleven is put into the isolation room for a few days as punishment. in this timeline, henry would be vecna, but henry would not be peter ballad.

when eleven turned seven, and was already showing extreme promise, where the other children were average at best, brenner had the eight children killed. kali had already escaped. this was the main cause for peter to gain eleven’s trust and try to get her out. because if brenner could murder his “children” in cold blood, there’s no way eleven was safe even in spite of her power.

when eleven is allowed out of the isolation room, her testing becomes more rigorous in attempt to distance and make her forget about what she attempted to do with peter. brenner begins gaslighting her, saying that there was never a peter, that she must have been dreaming. eleven does ask “papa” about “mama”, given peter told her of the day terry broke in the lab, but brenner is convincing enough to make eleven believe it was all in her head. say she is around eight years old, meaning the same timeline of season fours canon flashbacks.

i still do wanna keep the henry creel canon, and keep him as 001. brenner didn’t have him killed alongside the other test subjects, because who knows, one day he could become an even better asset than 011. brenner definitely wants to be able to control henry, but keeps the chip in him because, for the moment, doesn’t know how. killing him would be too big of a loss.

when eleven is ten years old, henry’s concealed powers break free and he manages to get the chip out himself, and unleashes hell onto hawkins lab. he almost kills brenner by snapping his bones, but eleven manages to stop him. her extreme abilities are unleashed, and she sends henry to the upside down. she does fall into a coma due to the extremity of the situation, but she does not forget what happened. brenner believes she’s the perfect weapon as she stepped in to save him without a second thought, was able to defeat henry, and opened a door to something he never thought possible. eleven is rewarded for her efforts. although she remembers the entire battle / confrontation, her memories regarding the portal are very hazy.

brenner decides not to focus on the portal straight away, instead gets her training harder and harder to see what else she can accomplish. also loved the idea of brenner sending her into the void to “look for him” so that will definitely be kept.

by the time she escapes and season one begins, her knowledge of the upside down is basically what we see in canon. because she passed out the moment after she sent henry away, she was once again gaslighted into believing she merely threw him through the glass and killed him. for two years she believed this, until making contact with the demogorgan, and those memories return completely.

due to her saving brenner’s life, (it was pure instinct. she happened to be there. saw her “papa” hurt and knew she had to make him better.) brenner constantly thanks her. but in a very condescending way. tells her: “you saved me so i can continue saving you.” aka, harness your abilities and see what else i can achieve from you. despite the fact that she saved his life, these words and phrases make her feel indebted to him. that she owes him something further.

i don't realistically see her thriving with her speech improvement until she's well into her twenties at least. her slowed development, sensory and social deprivation causes a serious delay in language. surrounded by other children she would have overheard conversations, some would have spoken to her. her conveniently forgetting her upbringing pre the battle with henry just isn't good enough for me anymore. it makes more sense for her to have been raised alone.

it also helps indicate why she gravitated towards the boys when they found her in the woods. they would have been the first people her age she ever remembered seeing. as far as she knew, during the lab there was no one like her. everyone was much older, they were adults-- although she stayed with benny, i'm not sure if she would have stuck around very long. where she followed the boys home without thought.

also it's important to note that after time, jane does understand that peter ballad was a real person, and was truly the first person (aside from terry) who wanted the best for her. when she remembers him, knows that brenner was lying, she deals with immense guilt regarding his death. he was shot right in front of her eyes, because he was trying to help her. this is another catalyst as to why after season two, jane never refers to brenner as papa. she does not give him that sort of credit.

#study‚ in my dreams it's all real and my heart has so much to reveal.#THINKING THOUGHTS. i have had this concept in mind for a while but i THINK i’ve fleshed it out properly now.#will write this up properly one day (never).#although henry offering eleven a place at his side wouldn’t be canon #he would definitely still look at her as an enemy for basically stopping his revenge.#AND the whole speech between he and jane never sat right with me.#saying brenner made him what he was / that it wasnt his fault etc. Like. No? henry was a sociopath. he killed his family.#brenner didn’t do anything to make him who he is. so jane always saw him for exactly what he was #and there’s absolutely no sympathy there.#and then regarding my season four canon as her regaining her powers by remembering the massacre/the fight. i am changing that to her #regaining her powers by simply confronting her past. understanding what she went through. finding ways to cope with it physically and #mentally. getting coping mechanisms from her therapist. seeking help. not needing to know WHY this happened to her (because there is not.#and will never be a reason.) but finding ways to accept it and move on. how to move on from eleven and become janessa ives.#also just because in this case henry doesn’t massacre a bunch of kids? It doesn’t make him any less evil. in this instance i am following #the idea that some of the workers were prisoners there in hawkins lab. and henry killed a bunch of the workers. so would definitely have #killed some innocent people.#just because i am separating peter from henry. does NOT mean i am excusing anything from henry/vecna.#in this case they are two completely different people. although i highkey wanna use jcb as peter because he just did the role SO WELL and #was SO BELIEVABLE i’m not sure about it yet. because i don’t want anyone to get the impression that i’m making excuses for henry.#BUT YES.#this be the new canon. <3 #idc brenner is such a good fuckin villain he’s disgusting but so intriguing.

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